#what if I killed myself????
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inkskinned · 1 month ago
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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hinamie · 3 months ago
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to moving forward
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#yuji itadori#gojo satoru#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itadori yuuji#megumi fushiguro#jjk spoilers#satoru gojo#jjk manga spoilers#hina.comic#before any1 says anything i KNOw his birthday is in december ik ik ik this is just 2 show some post-battle bonding after the trauma#its winter in canon n megumi's birthday has passed and he spent it being piloted like a mech so they need to celebrate Now!!#also this was technically a request lmao anon wanted megumi birthday angst hehehehhe i hope u like it <3 bc it KILLED ME DEAD#im going to collapse remember when i said this wasnt harder than the hydrangeas im having second thoughts#page 8 made me want to bash my head in#could have stuck with one flashback image could have left them monochrome could have done literally anything 2 ease the workload#but noooo the chronic overachiever in me would not allow it#rule of threes i had to include all of them and they Had to be in colour it wouldn't have hit the same if i had kept it monochrome#i needed it to look how childhood memories look i needed it to look oversaturated and hazy and fond but unmistakably Gone#it may have killed me but im so proud of this rn like from an art style perspective these megumis and yuujis r top tier by my standards#personal favourites r the first and last panel of crying megumi like not 2 pat myself on th back but expression?????? hello??????#enjoy your cake megumi you've earned it <333 sorry fr hurting ur feelings it will happen again#oh my god i can sleep tonight bless <333 and i met my 3 day deadline NICE im so good at what i do
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notbrucewayne48 · 11 months ago
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"aphobia doesn't exist"
bitch literally not that long ago an aroace youtuber animator was insulted by almost half of its community for being it
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skunkes · 2 months ago
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gay dracula
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mroddmod · 2 months ago
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what cipher has done to my hands
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captainmaxatx · 7 months ago
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It’s so sad that the ghoul boys died on a ghost hunt, from ghosts
And that’s why they won’t post YouTube videos anymore, because they are dead, from ghost hunting ):
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startuxi0 · 4 months ago
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What if Angel found him, after his punishment?
fuck any of you who let me spend this fucking long on this OH MY GOD
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 4 months ago
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Flower Empowered.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#lan wunian#The absolute chaos that ensued when Lan Wangji showed up...those girls went wild.#We have to give kudos to narration that takes the form of a bunch of suitor seeking ladies.#They were so loud about being here for the hotties and whispering gossip. You go girls.#Wei Wuxian most likely just picked up a already tossed flower to throw. Second hand flowers...are still flowers I suppose.#Can you imagine if LWJ had allergies? Poor lad.#Okay it's time for the real gritty discussion point. The one everyone is waiting for me to talk about:#So...from where we are in the timeline...what the hell is WWX supposed to be wearing?#I'm serious. Put all the fanart out of your brain for a moment.#We are post burial grounds and sunshot campaign so he's had his little goth moment reveal.#*BUT* he is still with the Jiang sect. And by proxy of this flashback talking about his disrespect - they never bring up his attire.#meaning he is likely in some kind of Jiang Purple.#Continuity wise it really feels like this scene should have been *before* the burial mounds.#I understand why it's post - we need to build up on the mystery of how he became the YLLZ.#But also his personality feels way more 'pre-burial mounds WWX'. I think this was probably a 'I don't want to kill my darling' scene.#(The Phoenix mountain flashback is a lot of people's 'darling'. I am knowingly putting myself in the line of fire here).#I'm willingly putting him in Wen Qing's borrowed cloak and assuming people take him wearing it as like...a war trophy.#Historians will revise this moment later on but for now he *is* a hero of that war.
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fibi-draws · 4 months ago
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this was less of a danganronpa v3 redesign and more of a "drawing the drv3 characters in outfits i would actually enjoy drawing more than once" but it got completely out of hand
anyway - day three of trying to defeat artblock went great and [commissions are open] again <3
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plagalkey · 2 months ago
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ENERGETIC ⚡️
you make me feel so high
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soupforsoup · 2 months ago
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Brb killing myself over the fact that this is what Eliot looked like when he worked for Moreau :)))
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hinamie · 5 months ago
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sry i have chronic only draws megumi disorder the doctor said it's terminal :/
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kettlefire · 3 months ago
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As Good as Good Gets (DP X DC Snippet)
Richard "Dick" Grayson is the golden child. In the eyes of the public, and in the eyes of the league. Dick is a sweet, caring son, a man who went from being a sidekick to being a hero. The pipeline from Robin to Nightwing had many people applauding his dedication to keeping Gotham safe.
No one knew the full story, not truly. No one but Bruce Wayne himself. And maybe a certain butler. Many don't know that Dick only became Robin to stop him from hunting down and killing the man who killed his parents.
No one really knows about the harsh fights and arguments he has had with Bruce. The times when Dick would find himself cut off from the Wayne name for a week or so. No one knows that the first person Dick warmed up to was Alfred. Having been bribed with cookies.
Things weren't always this good, trusting, happy relationship between Bruce and Dick. It had been a rough ride, a complicated one. But that was okay, because it got better.
Dick stopped being so moody and angsty. He grew up, he learned, and he changed. He became an older brother, found people that needed him. Needed him in a way that the citizens of Gotham didn't need him.
His brothers like to call him annoying. A goody two shoes who Bruce trusted more than everyone else. They couldn't fathom how someone like Dick could be so stupid and bubbly at all times.
All times, except when shit hits the fans. Despite the name calling, despite coining Dick as the stupid Wayne. They all knew better. They knew that when it mattered, Dick Grayson always pulled through. He was a force to be reckoned with when needed.
The whole Wayne family was a force to be reckoned with when called for. It didn't have to be under the guise of costumes and vigilante acts. Whether he was Officer Grayson or Nightwing, Dick was a man with his morals and values.
One night on patrol as Officer Grayson, Dick found someone who needed that force. A force willing to protect and care for the innocent. The hurt. The damaged, yet still good.
It started like any other night. A call of shots fired by an empty warehouse. There was no sighting or knowledge of any rouges being there, so Dick took the call. Told the team he'll contact them if it seems more than just a civilian incident.
The warehouse was dark, reeked of copper and oil. It didn't take long for Dick to find the trail. The liquid he found looked like the person had been dragged before walking. There was a clear struggle, even with the mess and emptiness that was the warehouse.
That wasn't Dick's biggest concern. The concern lay in just how much blood there was. Too much for any normal person to lose and still manage to stumble through the warehouse.
It wasn't just blood. It wasn't that much, but Dick could spot the strangeness in the liquid. The mixed in green that had an eerily similar color and glow as a certain pit.
Without thinking, Dick followed the trail. Barely remembering to make contact with his family. Give them an update on what he found. Words telling him to stay put for backup went in one ear and out the other.
Something in Dick's gut was telling him he couldn't wait. He needed to find the source. Whoever was currently bleeding out in this warehouse. He silenced the comm, moving further through the dimly lit building.
Then Dick found it. Or more so, he found him. It was just a boy. A boy that reminded Dick too much of the youngest Wayne. A boy sat against a wall, looking pale and weak.
Red and green coated the front of the boy's shirt, arms wrapped tightly around his middle. An attempt to stem the bleeding. A puddle had already started to form beneath the boy, and Dick moved without thinking once again.
He quickly found himself kneeling beside the boy, hands carefully reaching out. Before Dick even touched him, the boy flinched. Eyelids suddenly opened, wide and terrified blue eyes landed on Dick's.
In just that one look, Dick knew what he had to do. The haunting, terrified, and pained look in the boy's eyes told Dick everything he needed to know. The boy was in danger. Someone had hurt this kid, and it was clear it wasn't the first time.
The boy struggled weakly against Dick's touch, terrified whimpers, and barely coherent pleas spilled from the kid's lips. It had Dick's heart aching, clear as day the poor kid has been through hell and back.
It took a lot of reassurance, gentle touches, and promises of help before the kid let Dick take a look at the bleeding wound. A promise on Dick's soul had been the final thing that earned him any semblance of trust. A strange promise, but Dick was willing to make it.
That concern turned to pure anger the moment Dick managed to pull the sticky shirt away from the wound. The sight of a Y-incision cut perfectly into the skin, stitches tight on the skin, but blood still leaking heavily from the wound.
It didn't take long for Dick to realize why. Despite the perfect surgical care of the wound, a good couple of stitches had broken. Leaving gaping spots for that red and green liquid to pour out of.
The boy was deathly silent, tears streaking down his cheek as wide blue eyes stayed trained on Dick. In that moment, Dick knew he had to help. Had to get the kid to safety, patch him up, and find out what kind of monster would do this.
It didn't matter if the kid was human or not. It didn't matter if the kid had special abilities or not. No one, absolutely no one, deserved to be vivisected.
The kid was shrouded in mystery, but that mystery only seemed to grow and become clearer when Bruce had entered the scene. The boy had tensed, eyes flashing a bright glowing green.
Lazarus pit green.
It set a pit of dread in Dick's gut. His mind brings forward memories of Jason. Jason, after his revival, after his dip in that cursed pit. The same flash that his brother would get if he got too angry. Too emotional.
As much as Dick wanted to focus on finding who did this, if it had any connection to Ra's al Ghul. He couldn't. Not when the kid tried to get up, to pull away as Bruce and the others made their way closer.
Right now, Dick only cared about making sure the boy was okay. Fixing those stitches, getting him a meal, and a warm bed.
He needed to get this kid someplace where he felt safe and secure. Comfortable and protected. Dick wasn't sure why. Maybe it was the promise he had made, but he wasn't letting anyone get to the kid.
That included his family. As strange as it seemed, Dick put himself between the others and the kid. Shooting them all a glare that they had only ever seen a handful of times.
Dick lifted the poor boy up in his arms, cradling the crying child close as he led the way out of the warehouse. Ignoring the questions or confusion coming from Bruce and the others. As Dick walked, feeling the trembling boy clinging to him, he made a rather obvious realization.
Maybe the eldest son really was more like Bruce than he expected. Just a few short moments the the boy, a boy that Dick didn't know his name, and he was ready to pull out adoption papers. To give the boy a safety he so desperately needs.
Give him the chance that Bruce had given him all those years ago.
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homielander · 5 months ago
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i'm sorry but hotd positing that all women are innately cautious and peaceful and compassionate while men are rash warmongers is not a feminist win! i could see the value in everyone being hesitant to go to war at the onset of the story because it intensifies the tragedy of this house tearing itself apart, but at this stage, rhaenyra has as much reason for bloodlust (if not more) as the men on the show. it's pretty heavily implied that the shock of her usurpation killed her daughter, aemond killed lucerys, and one of aegon's kingsguard snuck into her quarters with the intent to assassinate her. most importantly, she has felt entitled to the throne since she was named heir as a child. she should be incensed! rhaenyra's inaction in the season 1 finale due to a sudden aversion to violence was already stretching believability -- this is the same woman who expressed nothing beyond mild shock at vaemond's beheading, who plotted with daemon to have an innocent man killed to facilitate laenor's escape while declaring that the realm should fear her. to have rhaenyra insist on peace at this point in the story, when war is already well underway, is incredibly irrational.
this problem is not limited to rhaenyra. alicent ordered larys to kill mysaria's network of spies and any suspected traitors in the red keep, presumably without any due process, and neither of these decisions was depicted with the gravity they deserved for a character who was once horrified by any bloodshed. meanwhile, aegon had a few extra ratcatchers executed, and not only was the direction sufficiently ominous, but we also got a lengthy monologue from otto about how it would spell his doom. it is probably pointless to bring up rhaenys because she is written less like a believable human being and more like a mouthpiece for the writers to assert whatever political opinion they believe is correct in a given episode -- but she did very much kill dozens if not hundreds of smallfolk last season. she did do that and very clearly did not care. why is she an advocate against war? for both alicent and rhaenys, there is a strange dissonance where their actions are at odds with their attitudes about opposing large-scale war for the good of the realm. i'm not saying this dissonance cannot exist, but it should at least be acknowledged.
helaena raising concerns about the losses suffered by the smallfolk might have worked in isolation, but for it to accompany everything above is exhausting. can none of these women be allowed to feel for themselves?
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burning-omen · 1 month ago
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I wake up and think about her every single day
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kc-rising · 3 months ago
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I Need Help
Hey folks, serious post. I've mentioned what's going on with me a couple times but never really went into much detail; I've been having severe pain in my left side for over 3 months now. Doctors can't figure out what's causing it, no X-rays, CT scans, ultrasounds, or blood work show anything. I've seen multiple specialists and gotten no answers. I finally got one of them to send me to physical therapy which I started last week.
My co-pay for specialists is very high and my physical therapy counts as specialist visits according to my shit insurance.
I'm going to be out $600 in the next few weeks because of this. I'm already out more than $500 because of the previous doctor visits and imaging done. So that's over $1100. And this is assuming the PT fixes me. I hope it does, I'm so tired of dealing with this. More bills are still coming in as well so who knows how much I actually owe...
I really hate asking for real life money, especially right now with all the Palestinian gfms going around, but I'm struggling, my job pays like shit (in the US? shocking I know /s) and I haven't been able to work a full shift for the 3 months this has been going on. All of this is excluding my normal medical costs for unrelated issues, which are expensive enough as it is.
I'm going to drop some links here.
Help Me Pay My Medical Bills
If you donate leave me your Tumblr url and a request and I'll doodle something for you:
I'll draw Flight Rising dragons, non-FR dragons, animals, dinosaurs, kaiju, pokemon, any kind of creature really, furries, etc.
Here are some examples of my work from this year's Art Fight
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These obviously aren't doodles but they're the most recent pieces I've made and are most accurate to my current style. The more you donate the more time I will spend on your request.
Links:
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(please ignore my deadname on venmo and paypal)
** If you can't donate I would greatly appreciate reblogs **
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