#what i think about on a sunday morning
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Reasons that are obvious why Jasmine and Ryan are not a good relationship:
The only time we ever hear Jasmine speak, it is her being afraid of Andrew Ryan. The fact that she knows her actions, despite being unintentional, will result in something that clearly causes her a lot of fear and stress indicates not only his poor morals but also his lack of respect of her.
She never, in the several years she has known him, calls him anything aside from "Mr. Ryan". This is a very formal way to refer to someone, especially if you have known someone for a very long time and are supposed to be as close as they are. Did Jasmine choose to do this herself, or did Andrew Ryan never allow her to refer to him as anything else to show the distance he holds with her? The "respectability" and "formality" indicate something detached, a very clear gap between them. Diane McClintock is heard calling him "Andrew", so this would reveal that he views and approaches Diane differently than Jasmine.
When he finds out her honest mistake, a mistake I'm sure she never fully understood (I can't imagine the 1940s boasted good sex health education), he does something I'm sure many would think out of character for him, at least in regards to his well-known, self-crafted image of a suave, refined intellectual. He savagely murders her. No talking, no trying to find another solution. He decides in that moment (whether a "crime of passion" or not) that she deserves to die for her mistake, no matter what she says to him or how she pleads for him to stop. In that moment, her life meant nothing to him, and he took it from her, as if he had the right to choose whether she lived or died. To him, she had to pay for betraying him, even though she never would've done anything to hurt him before. The very moment she tries to step free of him and be on her own, he takes her life.
My headcanon is that she met Andrew Ryan young, which I think we can infer from her story, or at least she was in a difficult position when she met him. Women were paid less than men (they still are; fight me if you want), and she found herself stuck in her career as she only made it to the esteemed Sander Cohen's gallery of chorus girls. Ryan already offered to help her once. Jasmine trusted him because she believed his intentions towards her were more honorable, that he did genuinely care about seeing her become successful. Maybe, for a time, that was true. But I don't think it lasted very long, especially since Cohen most likely knew of Ryan's interest in Jasmine and became jealous, set to hamper her chances of rising any higher than that. Cohen probably told Ryan that Jasmine didn't have the right stuff to achieve her goals. Ryan and Cohen obviously respect each other enough that I'm sure Ryan would've listened to him. Cohen obliterated her chance of ever having Ryan's respect by hiring her as a stripper. He knew this, knew Ryan well enough that if he did this, Ryan would never take Jasmine seriously, never see her as anything aside from a sex object.
EDIT: additional point. It is also obvious, I think, that he treated her with a lot of suspicion. I mean, following his attack, he cruelly and harshly calls her a whore. I can't imagine that was the first time he ever did that. Most people know that there is a common suspicion around sexual women. And, seeing their dynamic, she accepted his help with trust, and he saw it as more transactional, i mean- ugh. Just ugh. Edit to the edit: ALSO that shows he had no remorse for killing her! There is never a point where he ever shows any regret or sorrow for doing that to her!!!!
#i still really want to write about jas's relationships#tw misogyny#tw sexism#what i think about on a sunday morning#⋆ ˚ ｡ ⋆ ୨୧˚ . missing pages from the lady's memoirs ━ ( headcanon )#also quietly thinking about that recent murder case in texas#where a woman literally recorded her husband shooting her with a shotgun#got his verbatim ok i'm gonna kill you now on camera#and he still only got a couple of years because the jury was sympathetic to him#the wife apparently cheated but obviously that does not mean he was allowed to murder her#tw domestic violence
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redraw of my first souyo fanart el oh el
#sorry my friend is playing p4 for the first time so im thinking about it soo much#souyo#persona 4#yu narukami#souji seta#yosuke hanamura#nuggarts#both of their mugs were based on mugs I had and they were just so silly (literal dan and phil mug) that I had to change them. these are#nanako's mugs <3#original caption was something like 'sleepy Sunday morning boyfriends'. so. even tho I worded it cringily. thats what this is. lmao.
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I have a confession to make…
The best fanfic I’ve ever written—and the only multi-chapter, comprehensive one too—is a Brian May fanfic that I’ve been writing on Wattpad (yikes, but you gotta understand that Wattpad used to be all the rage) for the past nearly half a decade. To be entirely fair though, I went on hiatus for a long while (since 2018 I think!!) and only got back to writing it last summer.
Yes, this Brian May. Queen’s guitarist, funnily enough.
#maya talks#i have an unhealthy obsession with rockstars#you guys just don’t get how much of an issue it is#i’m autistic in case you guys don’t know already and my special interest is the history of rock music#i write pagesssss of analyses#and i used to track down and buy books about the topic for like half the usual price#which is insane considering how poor i am#but i literally cannot control it#i can sit on my desk for hours daydreaming about a certain event in rock history#and i obsess over rockstars’ lives#i can tell you what roger waters said on a random sunday morning in 1971#but i cannot for the life of me tell you what i studied two hours ago#i laugh n joke about it but it’s genuinely sad#and unhealthy too bc i think about it 24/7 to the point that i sometimes forget to eat/sleep/study#it is what it is#ig
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So wait. The explanation as to why 10s face came back was because he desperately needed a rest and he was subconsciously seeking out Donna (Donna! Arguably the least restful friend he’s ever had) to settle down with? But like he only knew Donna for a couple of years, thousands of years ago. From the Doctor’s point of view they knew Amy, Rory, and River for centuries… but Donna is still more important to the current Doctor? Really?
#please don’t misunderstand#I love Donna. she is my favourite companion.#but I think this explanation is really holding the old relationships in higher esteem than the new ones.#where there is no evidence to say the Doctor loves Donna more than they love… like Clara for example#the audience may love her more but that’s different#I think the Amy/Rory/River relationship is probably the closest the Doctor has ever been to having a ‘’family’’ in modern times#so if a family is what he was seeking than it should have been Matt’s face that came back#and I know they’ve made up reasons why the Ponds can’t come back. but his subconscious regeneration wouldn’t be thinking about that#dw#Doctor who#doctor who spoilers#14#donna noble#dw negativity#I’m writing this at 7am on a Sunday morning cos I’m normal and can’t stop think about last nights episode
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I hate it here. Not like tumblr but ya’know. I miss when I was a kid and only thought about how long I had to play with my toys because I was carefree and not of age yet to worry about adult stuff. I want time to just stop. I want it to stop I’m tired of everything I want off this ride and the only way I know how to make it all stop is forbidden. I just want to stay in bed forever and pretend I’m a kid playing with my toys again without a care in the world because I am a kid.
#new anime plot: miagwyn bitches#this was brought to you by the letter p#for Pokémon because went down the nostalgia rabbit hole and now I feel even worse than what I did earlier :)#also I can’t play some of my Pokémon games anymore cause the internal battery is dead#like on my emerald and fire red games#and I’m not being dramatic but I want to cry about it#the fact that..like old stuff is disappearing and I hate it#I want the old things to come back just like they were#fuck the new shit I want to go into a store and by a gameboy from the electronics section#I want to buy a 1960’s vw bus from the new dealership if I want#I want rotary phones and land lines to come back#I want to go get ice cream for 50 cents#you see what I mean??#this is why I hate time so much#I hate going forward I didnt fucking ask for this#I’m spiraling as I speak I’m so tired I miss when Pokémon had 150 monsters#I miss Sunday morning cartoons like Mickey Mouse and Tom & jerry#I miss when I could go play outside in the dirt and the neighbor we had was friendly#and trees were everywhere#and the worst thing was bedtime cause I wanted to stay up and play with my toys#I miss when my mum could still see really well#I rember laying on my parents bed one Sunday morning after breakfast thinking about how life was not a game and that I’d die one day#shit freaked me out but now I’m 25 and I still think about that and that day and#I hate it here#I just want everything to stop
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I’m gonna challenge my subconscious to a fist fight and I’m gonna lose
#i had a dream that mabel kept coming back to life just to sniff stuff or investigate food that she liked#she was still dead but i’d buried her instead of cremating her and for whatever reason i was either digging her up#or she was digging herself up and sniffing and eating stuff#and i was like ‘she’s CLEARLY still alive if she can do this’ and everyone was like ‘no she’s dead you have to bury her again’#whenever she fell asleep she would be dead again. like she’d stop breathing and her heart would stop#i don’t know if she was like. a vampire dog? but it was so upsetting to dream#this is the second sad dream i’ve had about mabel in the course of like 3 days.. no less because the last one made me wake up in tears#on friday morning. and like it’s brought me to my knees honestly. i can’t DO this#also in my dream i went to a careers advisor or life coach or something and they were really mean to me lol#and my family made me go with them to visit some people i didn’t know who insisted on serving us cups of tea#it was really strong hot tea and i don’t really drink tea like that#and my grandma’s friend who was the loveliest woman and died a few years ago was there#and she was just absolutely pouring milk in her tea even though it was overflowing and going everywhere#and mabel was there accosting their terriers even though she was supposed to be dead. it was too much#in another part of the dream my old roommafe (who i really didn’t like) was pressuring me to go drinking with her even though mabel had just#(dubiously) died. and i was like ‘you do realise i’m going to get absolutely paralytic and scream and cry about my dog the whole time’#there was also this subplot where like everyone i knew but me had been in a play and the stage makeup had been made from ‘magic beans’#that stained everyone blue. so everyone i met had randomly blue eyebrows and stuff#there was one man who was just fully blue#also i was supposed to be in the world championships for a game that was like tetris but more esoteric but the servers broke down#or something like that. i think that’s everything#i’m just like.. why make me bawl at 6:30 on a sunday morning. what’s the advantage of that#i’m supposed to be taking care of benji and he’s looking at me like ‘god this woman is a basket case’#his owner has colitis and chronic fatigue and she has her shit more together than me#personal
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kinda drives me up a wall when people go "hey i think x action in a war/combat scenario is inhumane and cruel and shitty" and someone responds with "oh but within the laws of war it's allowed or there's procedure for it etc etc". it doesn't have to be a war crime to be unforgivable man it's a shitty rulebook anyway
#like whether or not something's bad isn't determined by whether or not it adheres to arbitrary rules people made up and never obey#i thought we all knew that already. c'mon man. get a grip#obviously war crimes are bad but that's not where the badness potential ends y'know#this post is due to my dad talking about smth i sent him mentioning US troops firing on a bunch of guys in smth on deserters and he was lik#well they're not like citizens or refugees or deserters they're retreating enemy combattants. so it's different.#it IS different but isn't it still like. overly brutal? idk.#like would you want them to pursue Your ppl regardless? are they not allowed mercy just because you proved stronger? your positions could#be swapped easily and you'd think that as fellow combattants you would feel that deeply. idk maybe i'm just too soft or whatever but like.#seems stupid to me. war generally seems stupid to me but this specifically right now seems stupid to me#yes i know there are practical concerns and sacrifices in combat that make sense when you're actually there and me saying there should be n#wars and we should make it a fucking priority to not have wars doesn't mean ppl already in a decision-making role in the field should do#what i (an idealist) would do. they're responsible for minimizing loss and shit. whatever. doesn't mean it's not fucked up anyway.#and that's assuming the best case scenario for a leader in such a position. usually they just want to minimize Their side's losses. usually#by maximizing the other side's. or they just want to win and will sacrifice anyone for it if it's practical#which happens a Lot. usually it's a mix of the latter two to my understanding#as if americans' lives matter more than anyone else's and the other side doesn't have a right to mourn bc they offended us somehow#ugh that shit irks me so bad dude. there'll be like a terrorist attack in europe or smth and the news'll be like#ONE AMERICAN WAS KILLED. and twenty swiss. THE AMERICAN WAS VISITING FAMILY THERE ON SUNDAY MORNING WHEN TRAGEDY STRUCK etc etc#fucking hate that. i don't care if they're on 'my team' or whatever they're all equally human and equally dead#why the hell should i care if one of them was an american. just say 21 people died. like i get reporting on it briefly ig to like notify#ppl At Best but like. it's so grating. why can't you be normal about other people fucking goddamn you#why is this a controversial statement. why is giving a shit about people killing each other (often for like 10 ppl's financial gain) wrong#like. come on. i don't care if they 'deserve it' or whatever because i don't think they do. and even if they Did i don't think it's#America's Time To Step Up!!! every time smth like this happens (but only when it is financially beneficial to us to do so#such that we ignore atrocities all the fucking time bc it's inconvenient. we're not superheros. we're cops.)#not saying america shouldn't do anything bc like. idk. you screw everyone over to have all the power maybe you should use that influence fo#good. but my definition of 'good' is wayyyy way different from everybody who's ever held office here apparently so like. nuts to that#eugh. anyway im cutting myself off here rant over. for now
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ignore if you don't give one for my streams Anyways potential stream schedule goin forward Just Until I Finish Judgement
thursday i'll stream judgement from like. 3:30 ~ 7:30
friday'll be 4:30 ~ 8:30
saturdays will be the usual 3:30 ~ . fuckin whenever LMAO art stream i do
#snap chats#ew i just remembered i have my spanish exam tomorrow im going to throw up#anyway i thought i'd stream today but the more i thought of it the more i wanted to throw up#im already really drowsy and plus i dont want to be stressed under the time crunch in-between class#plus assembling and disassembling The Tower is nerve racking i dont need something breaking while i rush to class LOL#thursday'll be chill since i only have my morning class then and friday i only have The One class. and its friday.#i'm putting a strict time limit on gameplay days since i want to try to record these and i think four hours is just enough time#firstly to watch but also i think it's small enough to be able to be saved onto my computer#idk we'll see how it plays out. i think the usb could only record about two hours before it ran out of space#and my computer's space As Of Now is about twice the size of that usb#i'm gonna try to clear up more space but yeah thats the deal for right now#four hours is by no means a lot of gameplay time- much less than id like LMAO but we do what we gotta#maybe i'll do a similar schedule for IW except instead of thurs being a game day i'll make it sunday#i have a night class thursday next semester unless i edit my schedule at some point#honestly i might cut out art streams during IW... lemme speed through the shit so i can draw stuff for it LOL#but we'll get there when we get there
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OUGHHH I FOROGR
#i was supposed to go to my sisters house ;;;;#in my defense i was planning to go to both of my sisters houses on the same day#except i had to wait for a confirmation from my other sister as to WHAT DAY would be good#and it is now 7pm on sunday. i had all weekend.#my sister never fucking replied to me <3<3<3 guess ill#uh#fucking uhh#NOT teach her crochet#but it's also v late to get up and go out on a work day >:(#and i couldve had this done earlier. i COULD have had this done YESTERDAY#of my sister had actually replied#but nooooo my brain got stuck in 'just wait for confirmation before finalizing plans' mode#and now it's fucking 7pm on fucking sunday when i texted her on fucking FRIDAY MORNING.#and i forgot to actually PLAN THIS OUT#BC I WAS STUCK IN WAITING MODE.#gods. im just.#hhhhhhh#and now i have to figure out a different time for this bc i cant. i cant go out and do shit at 7pm.#sigh#my other sister is gonna be annoyed about it and i know that#shh ac#edit: cus i dont feel like adding on to it#but yeah i kinda figured i would get a response like that 👍#tbf my message was a little passive aggressive but like dude. i was ALSO in a shitty space all weekend.#its sooo funny that she seems to think that shes the only one who ever gets into shitty moods. lmao. lol even.#and im not saying i dont understand not responding to texts when in a bad mental state-#hell i left my mom on read for 2 days and i still have other messages ik i should respond to#but like. when it comes to messages that are time sensitive like that like. i could accept a 'no not this week' or whatever#its just#urgh
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good morning!! <333
#so my main plan (gaming-wise) is to update hsr and play some of the new update finally#i've been putting it off while the marathon was going on but now i have time again#though i am really tempted to go rewatch some of the past marathons#bc i haven't rewatched them since they were live & I'm forgetting references and stuff lol#but also i like miss the chaos of the marathon already#+ i wanna replay zelda games#i have like nearly all of them (i think fsa is the only i have no access to whatsoever - especially since fs is now on nso)#i started trying to do a timeline order but got like halfway through skyward sword and stopped lol#anyways#i should add that potential f/o today sometime#hopefully will have the motivation to post about her (and my others)#also it's likely we'll have to get groceries today#also it's sunday so you know what that means :3#but anyways~#i hope you have a good day/night!! <33#morning rambles
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Send me your good vibes friends I'm working a hellish conference all weekend 😔
#at least it's all on zoom so i don't have to be like. dressed up and at a venue early in the morning on saturday and sunday#but this group has been. demanding and disorganized and uncommunicative for months#(we have a final half-hour check-in scheduled for this morning and at 4pm yesterday they asked if we could extend it to 2hrs long)#(for example)#but. it's almost done. no matter what happens after this weekend it'll be done and i can stop thinking about it#j rambles
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being in your twenties is just adulting (confused amateur's version)
#meg talks#Help girl I need to think about my finances now? What about watching cartoons on a Sunday morning
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Christians in the southern US are so weird, like dude why are you proselytizing to me we live in the bible belt. I promise I've heard of jesus before
#they always seem SO certain that this will be new information to someone#like theyre gonna walk up to someone door and the person will be like 'church? what is this church you speak of please tell me more'#or like the copy of the new testament theyre handing out will be the first one someone has ever seen#'oh wow a bible? papá doesnt let us have these on the atheism farm'#like dude once again. we are literally in the bible belt. i was raised christian. we basically all were#my mom and grandparents took me to church semi-consistently all the way through elementary school#and then my mom sent me to a christian private school in sixth grade#7th-9th grade i was back in public school but i spent every single sunday morning wednesday evening AND school lunch period in church#all of my own free will in fact#and i know this is how proselytizers think bc my youth group fucking took us proselytizing#in our small town where everyone but like two (2) people in my high school attended the christian lunch group#and there were two churches on every corner#they still sent us out to spread the word of jesus and tell people about church#which. looking back on it now. why? what was the point?#rambling#anyways. there was a dude handing out copies of the new testament at my college today and getting angry if people said no thank you#if i had more free time i would be tempted to go stand on the opposite side of the street from him#and hand out 'agnostic bibles' that are just blank notebooks
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justice for transfems nearing 1 year of hrt & still feeling like this shit's barely doing anything
#im so bad at this#tbh i have like. hints of tits. barely#diluted breasts. homeopatitty.#but idk that's it it's all so slow and faint#lame because then#i get frustrated & bitter at those posts/threads that go 'I was told hrt wouldn't do shit at my age but it was magical dont stop believin!'#cuz afaik some people are still not lucky and don't get massive changes and yknow what if that's me. might be.#and even then like. im not even sure what I'm expecting or hoping for anymore#i think im just frustrated about everything about myself and things around me lately tbh#and that lack of clear change is as good as any target to vent it out#also ngl there IS a feeling of oh my body is bad at experiencing drastic changes from the so-called magical hormones .#guess I'm bad at being trans and not worthy of it ! woops;#shevr#sunday morning vent babyyyyyy
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I think a 10yo just got attached to me in genshin and if this keeps up its gonna make me not wanna play cuz I don't wanna come off as mean if I have to tell her to give me some space, but I wanna play in peace ya know?
#she came into my world i think saturday night or sunday morning. thats how long i played. and chatted for a minute then left#then the second i logged on this morning she immediately hopped in and started calling me Ed#and she was asking questions and im polite so i answered and she was like you can ask me questions#and since she asked how old i was i asked back snd she was all uh um well im 10#and thats fine to me cuz im not gonna be a weirdo anyway#but then she asked if i had a wife and i said no im not interested in girls so thats probably when she was sure i was a safe adult#and someone else joined and she dm'ed me that she didnt like him and right after he left so did she#and when i opened my world back up later she immediately popped in again#and wanted me to go to whatever a playstation party is while i was doing a quest and i had to politely tell her no twice#and then it segwayed into material hunting with her so i could still do something productive in game at least#but at one point she called me her bff and started talking about how she just got a phone#and im worried she may end up asking for my number or something. like hell nah#like. im all for being friendly and playing a game together and casual chatting. again. i have no intention of EVER being a weirdo#but shes coming off as immediately REALLY attached and i dont need to be going through shit like that again#ive had people get REALLY attached to me in some games previously and not leave me alone while im trying to play#and then they blow up at me when i ask for some space. so i dont wanna deal with that again#especially from a 10yo. i really dont wanna upset anyone by rejecting them or asking for space#but sometimes its too much and i just wanna do what i want in the game#and i kinda really dont wanna have a 10yo tailing me the whole time i wanna play#especially cuz shes 10 ya know? friends are cool but im a little too old to be a bff to her imo#i think i'll just try keeping my world closed when i log off so i wont log on and she immediately pop in first thing#i dont wanna block her off completely cuz i dont mind if she comes by every once in a while. just not all the time ya know?#personal
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I love talking. I love saying words so much. Except for when I don't
#original#Sometimes I wonder what you guys think Ex-Aid is actually about#Because from how I talk about it... I think I make it sound way more serious than it really is#It's a 45 episode Sunday morning superhero show about gamer doctors. But unfortunately for all of us Kuroto is there
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