#what do you mean this wasn't how it went?

[dazedantics]

Mark remembers being your husband.

Well, okay, he was never actually your husband.

But when you played house in the comfort of backyards and playgrounds, he never had an issue assuming that role in your game of make believe. Whatever it took to just to keep his friend.

You'd use whatever you had around as your "kids." New action figures, old dollies, spare blankets, the poor dog who wanted no part in being dressed up.

It wasn't Mark's thing, no. But he played along properly each time just to stay with you till the sun went down.

He'd fix the house, go to work, play hero with your kids, take you on pretend dates, he'd even pick you up and spin you around as a greeting for when he got home! Well, okay, maybe he wasn't quite strong enough to do that yet. But he certainly tried! Giggling when you two tipped over, talking about his supposed day at work.

He didn't stop you if you had an idea either.

You want to pretend you're going to the store? Sure thing, he'll push the basket. You stuff a ball under your shirt to pretend you got a baby in there? Okay, he'll do the chores while you sit 'n sew. You want to kiss him cause you just love your husband oh so much? Uhh ... well, maybe that's a bit ... oh, and now you're kissing him anyways. Super.

Admittedly, he didn't like that part at first, cooties and all, but his admonition went out the window as you huffed and started chasing him round and round until you landed a successful one on his lips.

He soon got used to it though, even puckering up before you had put your kids to sleep. He even found himself thinking about it when it was time for you two to hit the hay.

And even now as he got older.

When he sat there at his desk, spacing out. First wondering about what's for lunch, then the latest comic waiting for him at home, then you.

He hadn't seen you a long time. You probably forgot about him by now. Or maybe not? You two did spend a lot of time together and you seemed to have about as many other friends as he did (which wasn't a lot). But you guys were more grown up now, you'd probably repressed those memories, right?

Yeah, that seems more likely.

I mean, why worry about that one scrawny boy when you were probably surrounded by lots of hot guys now.

One who'd be your real husband someday. That you'd make play with your kids and cuddle up to and kiss over and over again.

Mmm ... for some reason Mark didn't like that thought. Nose scrunching up and brows furrowing.

You'd been his first kiss, you know. And probably his only one. That thought made him feel strange too. Though in a better way that turns bittersweet in the end.

Did you ever think about that?

How he could technically have been considered your first boyfriend?

Oh no, well now he hopes not. Cause if you did, you'd have to tell your current boyfriend, right? Then he'd want to come beat up the punk who knew his girl.

Mark rubbed his eyes, trying to get that out of his head. It'd suck if he'd made an another enemy he didn't even know existed. A guy could only take so much locker shoving, you know?

He sighed and looked up to the front of the class. He hadn't heard a word the teacher said and could only hope it wasn't important.

They guestured to the door.

A surprise principal meeting? Hadn't had one of those in a while. He should probably look at the other kids' desks to figure out what he should be pretending to do.

The door's opening.

Okay, no one has their notebooks so maybe he should- wait. Is that you!?

You were taller than back then, but he could recognize you from anywhere! He watched as your lips started moving, those lips that had countlessly kissed his. He blanked on what you were saying, but he heard your voice. The sound just made all those random specifics details of you appear in his mind all at once.

And he may have been making things up at this point, but he swears your eyes were on him the moment you walked in.

You remember him? Even if it is just a little vaguely? You don't know how high that'd make his heart rocket.

Did you maybe want to sit by him? He wouldn't mind. Maybe you couldn't play house anymore, but you could still do things as you used to right?

Or maybe he could work his way up to becoming your actual husband now?

That was why you were suddenly here, right? The fates decided you weren't done playing pretend. Was he cool enough to talk to you now? Could he even bring up what had technically happened between you?

Would you bring it up?

Or does he have to keep sitting here, reliving those tender moments till the rest of his days?

Please don't make it come to that.

Please ...

[towersofviolet]

phrases that work for me in my office job and don't require lying (i know some autistic people struggle with even harmless lies) (also these are how i would say them and i'm very british so tailor them to your way of speaking):

"doing anything nice over the weekend?" (works best on a friday, or earlier in the week if you're not going to be speaking to that person again until after the weekend) - you can then add additional comments based on their response: e.g. they're going to see a movie -> "i've seen the trailer for that, it looks good" or "i haven't heard of that, what's it about?" or "oh i haven't been to the cinema in ages, i should go sometime"

related phrase to the above, for mondays: "get up to anything nice over the weekend?"

note, if asked about your weekend and you just stayed inside playing video games (and don't want to say that), you can say "oh i didn't get up to much, just had a relaxing one"

in general, if they tell you about something they did, aim to ask 1 specific question about it, even if you're not that interested. this shows interest to them and can raise your friendship bar (if you've played the sims you know what i mean). example: if they went somewhere, ask them "was the weather good?" (if it wasn't local/you don't know the weather they got on that day) or (if you do know the weather) you can comment on it like "aw it was a lovely day for it, did you get to spend much time in the sun?"

holidays are basically fancy weekends, so you can ask similar questions tweaked for the event: "was it just you and [family member] for christmas day?" (implied question: did you visit family/friends) or "do you normally do anything for halloween?"

if they say their kid did something, you can ask "aw did they enjoy themself?"

in general (at least in the workplace) people love talking about their kids. try to remember their name and approximate age (infant, teenager, etc.) so you can tailor questions, e.g. if you know their kid is about 15/16 you can ask "is [name] doing their gcses this year?"

times of year you can conveniently ask about their kids: september (start of school year -> "is [name] back at school yet?"), december (christmas if they celebrate -> "has [name] told you what they want for christmas?"), summer (holidays -> "when does [name] break up for the summer?")

caveat: don't ask too much about their kids that it comes off as creepy. if in doubt, wait for them to bring up their kid in conversation first, then ask a related question

weather is another topic, especially if you live somewhere with very changeable seasons

rain/overcast -> (glance out the window) "ah, it looks like it might rain but i didn't bring my raincoat" or (light-hearted tone) "i was planning on going for a walk at lunch but i might stay in now!"

rain after a long dry period -> "oh we've been needing this" or (variant, works best if you have plants) "the plants have been needing this"

sun -> (light-hearted) "what a lovely day, shame we're inside!" or "i hope this weather keeps up for the weekend"

sun after a cold/overcast period -> "the sun's finally out!"

long period of hot sun in summer -> "looks like it's going to be a scorcher!"

very cold period -> "i wonder if we'll get any snow this year"

talk about your commute to work: "the train was really busy today, i couldn't find a seat" or "the roads were so empty, i wonder if the schools are closed today" or (combining weather and commute) "i just managed to avoid the rain. i got to the building just as the heavens opened" (heavens opened = sudden heavy rain)

if a colleague shares a similar commute to you, you can be more specific: "did you get caught in the roadworks on [road name]?" or "was your train alright? all the ones from [your local station] were delayed by at least 15 minutes"

work-related conversation topics are great too! this will need to be tailored to your job/area of work. i work in an office and use lots of spreadsheets so these are things i say:

while working: "my spreadsheet's so slow today, how's yours?" or "i have so many tabs open, i keep clicking on the wrong one!" or "have you done the update? how long did it take to restart?" or "did you see the email from [name]? do you read it to mean [explanation]?"

towards the start of the day: "have you got a busy day today?" or "got many meetings today?"

you can also comment on the time at work: "almost lunchtime! i'm getting pretty hungry" or "only an hour to go" or "wow, i can't believe it's 4.30 already!" (if the day has been busy and passed quickly)

and the day works too!: "monday already, that weekend went way too fast" or (excited tone) "friday tomorrow!" or "how is it only wednesday?"

note: try not to just use negative comments like this, or people may start to see you as negative/a downer. try to inject at least as many positive comments, e.g. if you complain about monday then also celebrate friday! unfortunately there's a cultural caveat here. different cultures will prefer a more positive or negative style of small talk (e.g. people may be expected to moan and complain all the time) so it will depend on the culture of your workplace!

when you're autistic and you learn how to smalltalk it literally feels like you started hacking real life

[thebluediner]

COACHELLA HEAT PART 4

explaination: this is written in a form of a tiktoker who comprised fan videos of billie and you at coachella to dissect it and give the interaction meaning. basically like the hailey bieber tiktok series ( that's my inspo)

warning; use of y/n, mention of harrassment and allusions to sexual harrassment

a/n: didn't proof read really sorry I got homework and assignments to do just wanted to give you guys something , mwah

"what a damn week guys. I don't even know where to start with this" the creator says immediately when the video starts. she basically launches into her seat ,the camera being a little rocky, before she settles.

"so I took time off cause things were getting hectic and I mean very fucking hectic " she says her hands trying to gesture how big of a mess the internet has been lately.

"okay so to lets get started, remember the girl who kissed billie?" she asks leaving some for an answer.

"yeah the internet digged deep into her past. apparently they are some cases filled against her already like restraining orders and breaking and entering .miss girl is low-key a sex offender !" the creator exclaims.

a shot of her mug shot invades the screen. she can be seen with a dampened expression looking straight into the camera lens in a skimpy outfit.

"and to add more to that her former friends snicthed on her by exposing her stalker tendencies "

a stitched video of a girl with a washed out turquoise green colour. she starts the video talking about how she feels like what went down at coachella was totally planned by the girl.

the friend later reveals how the girl's name is ella. it's further revealed how ella has an obsession with celebrities. they explain how it started small like going to their shows and then they attended live interviews.

it's said how that wasn't enough for them so they started attended red carpet events they knew they would appear in then to parties they were most likely to attend. long story short she started dm'ing people close to that celebrity and getting access to parties or shows they were gonna attend.

her latest victim is also said to be billie eilish. apparently it started when she saw billie out at our girl y/n's show supporting her. from there on she rocketed into full obssession. the girl on the screen tells how much she was actually getting sick of ella talking about billie leading to their friendship fading.

"and that's exactly how she ended up on that stage with billie. worst of all it's reported billie's coca cola drink was spiked before she drank it " she says her head shaking in disbelief.

she stitches another video of a women analysing the video of billie "kissing" the ella. she basically goes to analyse the body language of both of them. she talks about how the way billie was leaning in wasn't her being touchy she was actually loosing control of her own body.

the women moves on to observe how the way ella was obviously intruding billie's personal space but also boundary by the way she backed away from her way before the kiss. she also added how ella was actually taking control of the whole thing. she could tell all this by how ellla captured billie's lips by cupping her face not so gently when you pay close attention.

"as soon as that video was released the internet was enraged. people started migrating to ella's social media accounts to harrass her some even going as far as signing petitions for her to be arrested" the tiktoker informs.

" it's been days since that happened but two days ago, when the internet was now well informed about the situation, there was information leaked regarding billie filling charges against the girl" the creator mentions.

"through all of this y/n and billie have been quiet nothing from either side and really I think that's best. something devasting and very violating happened to her so she needs time away and be with her loved ones " the creator adds.

"but ofcourse schedule continues and week two of coachella started yesterday and the headliner being y/n she performed" the creator continues to add to the narrative.

"what we didn't expect was for y/n to switch her setlist. we as fans have been told the setlist was prepared and moderated months before coachella so the fact that it changed says a lot"

a video of a fan filming you on stage shows up . your chest heaved with your hair damp even sticking to your face. you look out at the crowd catching your breath before bringing the microphone closer to your lips.

"a very unfortunate event happened to somebody I hold very dear to me..." and with just those words the crowd erupted shouting and screaming as appreciate for you talking about this.

"a lot of you have seen it because unfortunately we have devices that pick up every single thing nowadays... even worse they get posted online so now you got a permanent digital footprint" the video captures you talking out to the crowd. you're standing in one place brushing your hair out of your face.

"wishing that wasn't the case does nothing now so all we can do is take measures from now on... but apart from that I just..." you stopped talking not because of the cord but because your chest felt constricted.

fans cheered you ok sensing that you weren't okay.

" I just wanted to raise awareness that things like this still happen no matter who you are... I know a lot of you in the crowd have dealt with it too " she says looking at the thousands of heads ahead of her.

"I also went through that and even though I couldn't talk about it all those years ago in the long run I did " your voice was shaky making you turn away from the fans.

a roar of cheers appeared once more to support you. it was a way of telling you they were there for you and for her, billie.

"but yeah uhm I write a song about it, if you don't know it let me introduce you to ice cream man " you say a weak smile on your lips.

a few guys from behind the stage came out with a chair for you to sit on while you perform the next song. another set of feet came running handing you a long coat to cover you up through the next performance.

"yeah guys ice cream man is one of my favourites of y/n honestly so glad she performed it and I'm so proud she talked about the incident . and if you paid attention you would've realised she referred to billie as someone she holds dear meaning the relationship between isn't broken" the creator says although her voice a bit weary.

"another suprising fact was that billie was there watching y/n perform. I really didn't think she'd show up but she did because another video of her was taken "

a video that's a little bit grainy with different coloured lights illuminating as it started playing. a small figure on the far corner of the stage standing next to a tal figure , assumed to be her bodyguard, was wearing a dark hoodie and a cap bopping her head to the setlist.

"you cannot tell me that isn't billie that is so her" the creator says a little excited.

"more proof that billie was there is that's the first thing she posted later on coachella week two night one . billie posted a series of pictures of her at coachella mostly with her family and atleast two relating to y/n someway." the tiktoker says showing the pictures in the screen.

" anyways guys that was the update. what's happening regarding ella we don't really know at the moment but since legal action has been taking we're hoping for justice to be served. people need to know when not to cross a line with people you don't even know that well really. but we're grateful that billie is safe and she has a big support system fighting for her " the creators comments onekast time

" okay on that note , that's it. bye guys thank you for tuning in " the creator says with a goodbye wave.

[reit0o]

CALEB'S ACCIDENTAL DEBUT

✎ pairings- caleb x f!reader ✎ wc- 1,037 words ✎ summary- caleb was just a kid with a grudge against a boy group. he didn’t mean to become their biggest competition (or a lowkey fan). (old days) authors note. hi this is my first time properly posting on tumblr so I'm still trying to navigate my way around. this is just a silly hc I have on the origin of caleb's dancing skills, bc I can totally see a jealous young caleb sweating out in his room to impress mc. anways enjoy reading <3

Caleb didn't even bother hiding the sour expression on his face. He glared at the TV screen, eyes shooting daggers at the current obsession that had somehow bewitched her.

Linkon's newest boy group had taken the nation by storm. Despite debuting only recently, they’d already amassed a massive female fan base — and she was no exception.

He watched as a blue-haired member winked at the camera, earning a high-pitched squeal from her. Caleb couldn't for the life of him see what was so special about them. His eyes narrowed as they launched into another round of overly energetic, syncopated choreography

Surely, these guys weren’t that impressive.

Every day after school, she would grab him by the arm and drag him home, eager to catch their latest performance. Each stage had its own over-the-top concept—one week it was soft schoolboy crushes, the next, dark brooding themes with vampires, demons and angels. Sometimes even dyeing their hair in bold, eye-catching colours to fit the theme.

It would be all that she would talk about on the walk home. She’d pull out new merch, showing off the photo cards she exchanged with her friends at lunch, and gush about how handsome one of the members looked in a baseball uniform.

It made Caleb want to pluck out his eyebrows one by one, but he always made sure to plaster on a smile.

Caleb hadn't minded her new obsession—at first. But when she started skipping games with him, or nearly choking on her food just to finish faster and catch their performance, that’s when it started to bother him.

"Pipsqueak, you promised to hang out with me this afternoon", he whined, a ball in hand.

"Not now, Caleb, I'll play with you later", she swatted him away without looking up, her eyes locked on the screen as she kicked her feet in the air.

Caleb had been the main male figure in her life for as long as he could remember. And now, all of a sudden, that spot had been snatched away—by seven men in glittery jackets.

He felt bitter.

He wasn't used to feeling cast aside.

It wasn't the first occurrence either. Lately, every time he suggested something for them to do together, she would just absentmindedly turn him away, barely listening to what he had in mind.

That had become Caleb’s usual routine lately—alone, playing by himself. Like now, in the backyard, muttering under his breath while half-heartedly kicking the ball against the wall. Every now and again, a soft giggle would escape through the kitchen window.

Caleb huffed.

"What does she even see in them anyway? It's not like they're even that good-looking. Anyone can throw on fancy clothes and sing and dance—I'll show her."

That night, Caleb went to bed early. Or at least, that’s what he told her. In truth, he was in his room, typing their name into the search bar, staring at the group that had stolen all her attention.

Over the next week, Caleb made it his life's mission to memorise all the dances—purely out of spite. Every evening, he'd lock this door and throw himself into memorising each routine, determined to hit every mark perfectly.

“Watch me outdance every single one of them! Let’s see who she talks about then.”

She’d sometimes ask why he was always so sweaty before bed, and he’d just laugh it off, brushing her off with some excuse.

But he had a goal. He had to burn the dances into his memory. He needed to prove that he was better than those ridiculous men in their ugly outfits.

Sometimes she’d hum their songs around the house, singing to herself as she moved from room to room. And slowly, almost without realising, he started humming along. Every time he caught himself, he was mortified. He’d quietly slip out of the room before she could notice.

As much as he hated to admit it… underneath all the glitter and flare, their songs were kind of catchy.

One quiet afternoon, Caleb was clearing the remains of their lunch while the radio played one of their latest songs. He floated around the room, softly singing to himself, slipping in a move here and there without thinking.

He was so caught up, he didn’t hear her stumble into the kitchen.

"AHA!!"

He froze.

"Caleb, I didn't know you were secretly a fanboy", she said smugly, wiggling her shoulders like she’d caught him red-handed.

Caleb’s face turned bright red. "N-No! It's just cause this song’s everywhere! And you play it all the time around the house.”

To his surprise, she didn't tease him further. Instead, she turned up the volume and jumped, singing along at the top of her lungs.

Caleb watched her flail her arms, wildly missing half the choreography—if he was being honest. But she didn't care. She was smiling, beaming, singing her heart out.

And in that moment, Caleb realised something: sharing her joy felt a lot better than trying to compete for it.

So they sang together in the kitchen, off-key and laughing, butchering the ad-libs as they made their afternoon snack.

Their afternoons quickly turned into a mix of lighthearted teasing and non-stop chatter. She’d pull up funny montages, encouraging him to watch, rambling about her favourite members and their different personalities.

Caleb smiled along—this time, a genuine smile, happy to see her talk so passionately.

Did he still dislike them?

Yes.

Very much.

But not as much as before—especially after seeing how happy they made her.

They even started dressing up together, re-enacting scenes from music videos (her idea, obviously) and filming their dramatic reenactments. Caleb was always cast as the hopeless romantic, chasing after the girl—played by her, of course.

They didn’t get many views. But Caleb, hidden under his covers at night, would watch them anyway.

The view count crept up, little by little, each day.

One morning, as he was shovelling cereal into his mouth, she shoved her phone into his face.

"Look, Caleb! We already have 42 views!! We're gonna be popular in no time.”

She beamed, eyes sparkling with excitement. “One day we'll be famous enough… and we'll get to see them in real life!"

[titans-and-jla-mini-fics]

Batman gives a good example as to why he has the contingency plans he has to the Justice League. This isn't hate to any of the heroes in this either. I love the JLA, but after reading many of these comics and watching the shows I can see why Batman has these plans, prep times and slight paranoia of those he sees as friends or associates. Also I'm a big fan of Aquaman too so... Fair warning there's some Aquaman praise in this.

Batman turned his back on the Justice League members who were scolding him, their voices rising as they told him to get rid of his contingency plans or at least make them less brutal. Ignoring their protests, he whistled sharply, the sound cutting through the tension in the room.

With that, he strode purposefully toward the window in the JLA meeting room, determination in his step.

Batman: You know, when four of you got Jokerized and attacked me, I was recovering from fear toxin. That made things even worse that day.

Batman went silent for a second, the other members backing away until only Superman, Flash, Wonder Woman, and Aquaman remained front and center.

Batman: I don't like having to fight you, but I almost died that day. I actually feared some of you, and that’s saying a lot since I rarely take you seriously. You were in hospital beds for two weeks, wearing those sick, twisted smiles and completely unmoving. I could've been killed if I didn't have my plans. You could've died yourself from the Joker toxin and God knows the damage you four could do to your own cities.

Batman cracked his neck and took a deep breath. Wonder Woman looked down at the floor, ashamed. Flash frowned, his shoulders slumping. Superman struggled to find the right words, and Aquaman felt the same weight of the moment.

Batman: I have these plans so you don't kill me. I have these plans so you don't kill the people in your cities. I have these plans to protect everyone on Earth! I want to not have them and I do see you as... friends... Associates.. colleagues to a degree, but you haven't given me a good reason to put my life on the line for any of you.

No one spoke for a few seconds. Superman cleared his throat hopeful what he said wouldn't sound bad.

Superman: I mean if you could just make them less intense.

Green Lantern (John): Man, that was actually the worst thing you could've said.

Batman turned to face the group, his expression neutral, but the fury inside him was boiling over. He was at his breaking point, the metaphorical water slipping from the pot. While he regretted having to raise his voice, he felt he had no other choice.

Batman (shouting): I am a Justice League member and I will work with you, but if you don't stop pestering me about my contingency plans, I will go insane and I am taking you all with me!

Most of the Justice League: …

Batman: If the next person who talks says something that I find even a little irritating and makes me have those insane people's thoughts, I'm taking away every single vending machine in this building as well!

Aquaman: Hey, just speaking for the group here, but you seem to be going through some stuff and we're exacerbating that frustration. You're still mad at some of us for getting Jokerized and attacking you.

Batman: Which led to me contemplating death more and losing my memory.

Aquaman: Yeah, we said some rude things.

Batman (deadpan tone): Wonder Woman said she always hated me.

Wonder Woman: I wasn't in my right mind.

Batman: Superman talked like Bizarro and almost killed me.

Superman: I am really sorry about that, buddy.

Batman (glaring at the speedster): Flash… go to hell, Barry.

Flash (saddened): How come mine wasn't descriptive?

Batman (to Aquaman): And you ... I actually find you pleasant when you're not insane so I'm not that mad.

Wonder Woman: Why did that wound me?

Aquaman: While I appreciate that, you have every right to not trust us for a while. You saved us and kept us safe while we got better. I can't believe what I'm about to say... Batman, after what I went through, I get why you have those plans.

Batman: You do?

JLA members: You do?

Aquaman: I do now. Batman, first, thank you for saving us after we went Joker levels of insane. I'm sorry for attacking you and all the awful things I said which weren't true. The others are sorry as well.

Batman: You're forgiven, I wasn't mad at any of you since you weren't in your right mind that day, but my contingencies are what I keep for a reason.

Aquaman: I don't blame you, they came in handy; you got us an antidote before we got worse and although my face hurts from smiling that much, I'm glad that I'm better now. If it weren't for your incredible paranoia and quick thinking, I wouldn't be back with Mera and my son. For that, I am eternally grateful and again deeply apologize for dismissing your plans earlier.

Batman blinked, crossing his arms, secretly relieved to hear this, even if he did get called paranoid. That paranoia had helped him in the past.

Everyone else stared at Aquaman, some at how charming he was, the others annoyed he was siding with Batman. Superman was just jealous.

Wonder Woman: I often forget you're a king until you start talking like that. Impressive.

Aquaman: I'll take that as a compliment. Batman, if we hold back on criticizing most of your contingencies can you give us a tenth chance?

Batman closed his eyes, mentally debating what to say next.

Batman (clearing his throat): Apology accepted, Arthur. Thank you for understanding my plans. I can find it in my heart to give you all a hundred and twentieth chance. But don't mess it up.

The JLA members nodded, voicing their gratitude for the second chance. Batman sighed, feeling a headache forming.

Aquaman: Alright, thanks. Now, will I see you for movie night this Friday?

Superman: Movie night?

Batman: Yeah, I don't find you nearly as annoying as everyone else. Especially Hal.

Hal Jordan: I didn't even say anything! And I didn't even attack you!

Superman: You don't find him nearly as annoying as everyone else? I'm not included in that am I?

Batman: Most of the time.

Batman walked past the group, heading out the building.

Superman: Most... Most of the time? Okay I can accept that, but look at him! He looks like a surfer dude! No offense Aquaman.

Aquaman: That's not an insult to me, thanks for the compliment.

Flash: Hm, I see it now.

[xo2dee]

CAN I MAKE A REQUEST FOR INSECURE!VERGIL X READER (OR REFUSING TO SHOW/ADMIT TO HIS INSECURITY)

PAIRING: Vergil x Reader WARNINGS: MDNI/ 18+ ONLY. Implied sexual content, insecure!vergil. WORD COUNT: 1,647

A/N: thank you for the request! wasn't sure how you wanted me to particularly pick something vergil would be insecure about so i went through the liberty of choosing him to be insecure of letting you see how he looks in his SDT form bc rly it's a personal hc of mine as well. i hope that's okay and i hope you enjoy as well!

DMC MASTERLIST

When you first laid his eyes on him, everything about him screamed having confidence in oneself.

He stood tall (broad shouldered and long-legged), and his face carried the expressions that told you nothing ever fazed him as well as he was never one to be at fault for anything. He was so strong and so fast too, making your head spin when he blitzed across a battlefield with nothing but pure conviction poised with his sword, or that time he lifted a couch one-handed when your shoe had slid underneath it and you needed help getting it, just wordlessly doing your bidding before placing it back down like it wasn’t even a big deal. Perhaps that was what had attracted you to him so much – how confident he was with everything he did, and you just knew when you realized the lingering stares on your form meant he’d been eyeing you the same way you had been him, it was really Vergil’s confidence so gaze at you so openly that fueled your own into making the first move that got you into a relationship.

Surely, a man that looked and seemed so confident could do you so right and knew exactly what to do and say in a relationship… And imagine your surprise when the first time you kissed Vergil he practically froze up and looked absolutely as at loss on what to do.

Of course, you later learned he was just lacking in the physical touch and romantic relationship department, something that was easily remedied with slow touching and patience on your side to let him better feel comfortable with someone touching him so intimately. Just because he’d never been in one so casually didn’t mean you lost all attraction to him, Vergil was more than what you first thought and you loved him for everything he was so of course you were going to as patient as you could with him when he deserved it. However, where you were patient you hadn’t come to realize he was battling an internal struggle with himself to pull away from you when his flesh gave way to reveal the truth he hid from you beneath his skin.

It was only in passing and slight touches hastily pulled away from you that you saw it; blue toughened skin on the backs of his hands as the bones in his fingers cracked and bent before you briefly saw the talons on your waist until he abruptly let go of you and hid them from your view. Or the brief scales you’d see on his temple when you kissed his jawline before he turned his head away from you to catch his breath. And even the sheen of his eyes changed that he fluttered his eyelashes over to not let you ever see – yet you’d engraved that feline blue glow of his eyes into your mind forever, and how mesmerized you were by their gleam and how the slitted pupil expanded for a millisecond until he hid them from your view. And every time it happened in a stretch of intimacy, you began to understand Vergil was fighting self-control to give way to his true form as his instincts itched for it.

Everyone knew Vergil was half-demon and half-human, you just didn’t understand why he didn’t like to let you see the demon part of him.

That night though, you were determined to make him feel wanted and welcome, wanting that confidence you loved back when he showed you how he looked beneath the human guise and assuring him nothing about how he looked or what he was would ever deter you from wanting him. You weren’t the slightest bit surprised whenever things got too intense for a moment and Vergil was pulling back from you and turning away from you to hide what was coming forth, the sheets of your bed sitting low on his waist as you wondered why the rest of his body didn’t seem to be affected like his face was. Then you wondered if that was why he was so hesitant to let you see him…

You sat up as quietly as you could, your fingers twitching to grab his own, but you only sighed out for him instead, “Vergil, it’s okay.”

Vergil only hunched his shoulders more at your words, his face only turning back to you a few centimeters to let you see the beginnings of his scales along his hairline before they dipped down into the slope of his neck. His muscles were strained, and his jaw was clenched as his words came out more grounded and desperate than you had ever heard before. “…A minute.”

Give him a minute.

And then what, go back to acting like he wasn’t feeling insecure over the thought of you judging on how he looked and how he was losing control? You’d told him before you didn’t care and trusted him, but it felt even then your words weren’t enough to soothe his worries and he went right back to that toxicity within his mind of things he conjured up he told himself. You hated it; you only wanted Vergil to know you loved him regardless of who he was, and it was fueled enough to remember that proud man on the battlefield to let him know otherwise that you did not care what he looked like.

Perhaps if your words weren’t enough…

Carefully, and so tenderly, you brushed the backs of your fingers along the scales you could see rising from his neck, stopping yourself when you heard the heavy breath he took once he felt your touch on his skin and only continuing to caress him when his head slightly leaned into your fingers after a few moments. Like you had expected, the scales were tough and leathery to the touch yet you could feel the well reinforced hide beneath them capable of withstanding a brutal attack and protecting Vergil himself. You eyed his jawline cautiously, watching it grind before it loosened a fraction and you trailed your index finger up along his hairline until you were softly tracing the scales raising from his temple and forehead. The sigh from Vergil had your worries easing away, his shoulders relaxing from their tensed position the more you continued to touch him while you began to count the abundance of scales along his face. The rumbling in his chest egged you on, pushing strands of his hair back onto its usual position as face and body began to slow turn back towards you.

You could only akin the feeling of his new skin to that of a Komodo dragon, yet you kept those thoughts to yourself in case you offended him and he pulled away for good, and once you had his face back towards you to let you see more of his flesh giving away you could only trace every inch of in fascination to how it looked. However, Vergil’s eyelashes still laid over his eyes, shielding you from seeing them as you sighed and swept a thumb over his cheekbone, “Can I see your eyes?”

It took a moment and a frown to mar his face before he let you see them, and you got the same glee you felt seeing them for that sparse moment from before when you took note his pupils dilated all the same once he looked at you. He kept his words to himself as you looked over his expression, finding it in beautiful interest how overtime his appearance would change. However, you were keen to show him more how you didn’t mind it as you let your eyes fall to his transformed hands clutching at the sheets – nearly on the verge of tearing them if you didn’t soothe him.

Reaching forward you curled your hand over his new one, interlocking your fingers together as the difference in texture was felt enough for the both of you before you squeezed it in assurance. His hand was warm – warmer than it usually was, and you couldn’t help the sigh that escaped you at the comforting temperature. Vergil was coy in the way he held your hand, but it was even more gratifying to watch his other claw-tipped hand raise and stall for a moment to make sure you wouldn’t pull away before he was idly drawing patterns into your bare shoulder. It was ticklish to an extent, yet you remained still, then watched as his confidence built itself back up and then you were fluttering your own eyelashes when the back of his fingers brushed across your cheeks so tenderly.

He’d never admit it, and you knew it was better to humor him rather than point out the obvious in case he retreated back into himself.

You eyed him with a teasing lift to your mouth, raising your conjoined hands as you rubbed your cheek across the back of his hand, “I think I should feel a little proud. I affect you so much you start to lose control and begin to shift.”

Vergil’s sigh was so loud you could practically feel the eyeroll, but his mood had considerably changed for the better once you felt his form leaning into your own. You welcomed him as you stroked along the parts of his body that had altered appearance, slowly watching as they either shuddered beneath your touch or that began to wane away to the ivory sheen of skin you were used to seeing. His confidence returned in the way that his body moved in tune with your own, no longer feeling shunned at the thought you might’ve turned away from his appearance as your fingertips glided sweetly between the spots of smooth flesh and the leathery formation of scales as the night came to an end.

As long as Vergil had you, he had nothing to feel vulnerable about.

[hockeyfantasies]

where's the trophy? he just comes running over to me

Summary | Although you and Quinn aren't together anymore, that doesn't mean you two miss each other.

Warnings | none

Author's Note | This can be read as a part 2 from this imagine.

Being a famous actress has made you well known throughout the world. When you dated Quinn Hughes for two years, you were well known in the hockey world. However, due to complicated schedules, you two decided to take a break. That was until you were asked to give the James Norris Memorial Trophy at the NHL Awards in Vegas.

“Are you nervous to see Quinn again?” Your best friend asked you.

“A little.”

“Have you talked to him since you were asked to present?” She asked you.

“Quinn actually reached out to me first.”

“Oooh! What did he say?” Your best friend asked.

“He asked to meet me a day before the show.”

“Then you better look hot if you’re gonna see him again.”

“I know! I’m hoping everything goes well.”

You landed in Vegas a day before the show so you can practice what you were going to say and to see Quinn. Luckily for the both of you, you two were at the same hotel. You had texted Quinn your room number so he could visit you.

There was a knock on your door making you walk over to open it. You smiled softly as Quinn stood in front of you.

"Hey," Quinn smiled softly at you.

"Hi."

"Do you want to get some food and talk?" Quinn asked.

"I'd like that," you say. "Just let me grab my purse."

The restaurant downstairs wasn't too crowded so you two were able to get a booth and talk alone.

"How have you been?" Quinn asked.

"I've been good. I finished filming Outer Banks and my new movie," you tell him.

"That's good."

"How are you? I've seen some games when I have time but other than that, how are you?" You asked him.

"I'm doing good as well."

"Are you nervous for tomorrow?" You asked.

"A little."

"You'll be fine," you smile at him.

"I want to apologize for what happened."

"Quinn. We both agreed to take a break," you tell him.

"I know. But I should've fought for us. I didn't want us to break up," Quinn said.

"I think it was for the best. We were busy and I'm not mad at you. I still love you."

"I still love you too,” Quinn says. “Should we talk about getting back together?”

“Why don’t we wait until after you get your award.”

“What makes you think that I’m gonna win?”

“I have a very strong feeling.”

To no surprise, the media found out about your little outing was was spreading the rumor that you and Quinn could potentially get back together. However, it was quickly shut down by your team to avoid any controversy if Quinn were to win after you presented the award.

The day of the award ceremony, you took a couple of pictures on the carpet before meeting with Quinn.

“Hi,” you greeted.

“Hey.”

“You look nice,” you complimented.

“You look better than me,” Quinn complimented back.

“Ms. L/n. You’re needed backstage,” one of the show runners tells you.

“I have to go. But I’ll be secretly rooting for you,” you tell him with a smile.

“Thanks.”

Quinn watched with his brothers and parents from the seats as the show went on. Then came you to present the James Norris Award.

Quinn smiled happily as he watched you on stage. You introduced Lindsey Null who donated her kidney to Aaron Portzline, a sports writer. You stepped to the side for her to let her speak. Then it was time to introduce the nominees for the James Norris trophy.

You watched the nominee video, feeling giddy the moment you saw Quinn's introduction. You took the envelope with the winner's name while Lindsey took the trophy.

“The James Norris goes to...” you say before opening the envelope to read the name. Your eyes lit up in surprise as you saw the winner. “Quinn Hughes!”

You watched as Quinn hugged his family and friends before coming up on stage to you. Instead of shaking your hand, he pulls you into a hug before giving you a quick kiss.

“Meet me afterwards?” He asked quickly.

“Yeah,” you smile and nod. He shook Lindsey's hand before coming to the microphone to give his speech.

“I wish I got a kiss too,” Lindsey joked. You giggled before hiding your blushing face.

After Quinn's speech, he took a step away from the microphone to look at you. You smiled at him as he waited for you as you walked towards him to head backstage. He held his hand out for you which you gladly took.

"I'm so proud of you," you tell him.

"Thank you. I'm really glad you're here with me for this," Quinn tells you.

"Me too. You go do what you need to do and I will be waiting for you at the after party," you tell him, kissing his cheek.

Twitter and media outlets had blown up about you two when they saw Quinn kiss you live at the show.

Twitter user: omg! are they back together again?!

l/nstanforever: love is real again!!!!!

hockeyluver: Quinn Hughes running up to kiss Y/N L/N are goals!!!

hockeyswiftie: WHERE'S THE TROPHY, HE JUST COMES RUNNING OVER TO ME IS LITERALLY Y/N AND QUINN HUGHES RN

During Quinn’s interviews, he was hit with the question that everyone was asking.

“Are you and actress Y/n L/n back together based on the kiss you gave her on stage?” The interviewer asked. Quinn let out a chuckle.

“I’m not gonna say anything about that just yet,” Quinn said, avoiding the question so he could have a chance to talk to you about what you both were.

“Do you still have feelings for her?”

“Of course I do. She’s an amazing person. But like I said, I don’t want to say anything about that just yet.”

At the after party, you caught up with Jack and Luke before Quinn pulled you away to talk privately.

“So I’m guessing you want to get back together now?” You joked to Quinn as you sat on a couch.

“I want us to be. I missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too. Now that I’ve finished with filming, I can be with you more and hopefully I can film more in Vancouver,” you tell Quinn.

“I’d like that.”

“So, you wanna party since you won?” You asked, standing up.

"Yeah. Do you want to go on a date with me once we leave Vegas?" Quinn asked you.

"I'd like that. But for now, let's celebrate your win," you smiled as you pulled him back to the party.

[d1gitalwitness]

Siuan & Moiraine: Love and Justice in The Wheel of Time

I've been thinking a lot about Siuan's final speech in third season finale of The Wheel of Time, and I disagree with the reading that it centred Moiraine, when it was about Siuan's sense of justice, and what the Light means to her. It was also very clear for the most of the season, little of what Siuan did actually involved Moiraine - they were broken up (in a sense) but still did what they had to do respectively.

"Will you stand behind this woman who stands for nothing? Who loves nothing but power?"

Ever since Elaida's introduction, we learn that she wants the throne for herself not because she cares about the world, or even the prophecy - she wants it to establish a powerful title equivalent to her rank and that was it. There is nothing behind her ambitions, which is the darkest thing of all - even worse than Melindhra who swore to the dark because she wanted to save Malkier.

Siuan is different. She never wanted to become Aes Sedai, much less the Amrylin Seat. She comes a little fishing village and wears her Tairen tattoos proudly for everyone to see; she uses fishing metaphors even in official capacity; she decorates her room like a fishing hut and doesn't care what others think. This is who Siuan's father taught her to be - never to be ashamed of her identity, and always to wear her pride on her sleeve.

"So much for the Amrylin Seat remaining neutral without favourites. No life. No love of one's own. Nothing but the Seat."

The necessity of the Amrylin's indifference is not who Siuan is, who loved her father and never wanted to leave him, who loved Moiraine so deeply that she continued their affair knowing that it ran the risk of death. She made a choice to love Moiraine when it wasn't safe to do so, because this love is what gives her life meaning. Thematically, Moiraine and Siuan's love for each other is inextricable from their pursuit of justice - they are fighting for a future they may not get to see, but to be happy while the world rots is not something they stood for.

This is where Siuan differs from Elaida; Siuan is a ruler who loves and is loved in return, and White Tower laws do not allow room for that. The intractability of the White Tower will cause them to lost the last battle. They want to cage and gentle Rand - with good reason, of course - but this decision also means that they don't have faith that Rand can choose to do the right thing. They don't trust anyone and don't stand for anything but themselves. Moiraine, despite her ruthlessness, has come to trust that somewhere in the Dragon Reborn lies a good-hearted shepherd named Rand al'Thor.

For Siuan, the Amrylin must stand for something and someone. She cannot lead the world with indifference and selfishness. Notice that Siuan wishes that they never went to Gitara's study. For Moiraine and Siuan, the thought of knowing the truth and eloping never crossed their minds - maybe if they hadn't walked into the room, they would have eloped. But they were given the burden of knowledge, and they cannot abandon the world. It is perhaps true that Moiraine and Siuan only fell in love with each other because they recognised in each other a fundamental goodness. As Anvaere has said of Moiraine, the same can be said of Siuan.

"But there are two things my sister understands better than anyone; the difference between right and wrong, and how much harder it is sometimes to do what is right."

So when Elaida accuses Siuan of working with Moiraine - knowing damn well that these two were lovebirds - Siuan tells the truth. She loves Moiraine, and she won't be shamed - the laws of the Aes Sedai need to leave room for choice, for love, and for light. If they are to win the Last Battle, they need to change. Elaida is using the ugliness of tower laws fuel her dictatorship, and Siuan saw right through it. Elaida isn't a dark friend, but she doesn't know what the light means. Siuan does, because she loves and is loved. Her declaration of love isn't about Moiraine as much as it is about the indifference and cruelty of Aes Sedais. But Moiraine and Siuan's love for each other is what sustained them; they had the slightest of hopes that winning the last battle is what gets them closer to their dreams. It is crushing and moving and deeply heartbreaking.

“Everyone has a choice and every choice has a consequence."

People fall in love. And when they do, they care about the future that they have to live in. To have "nothing but the seat" is what Elaida embodies, and in her final hours, Siuan is warning Elaida that this tyranny and narcissism will rot her soul. Elaida's countenance of shock and surprise affirms this. Unlike her, Siuan stood for someone and something. She has more than Elaida ever would hope to gain. Siuan will never become a tyrant because she loves. To discount Siuan's love for Moiraine is to overlook the choice she made to love against the grain, even when it is the most dangerous thing she could do. As Moiraine has said, every choice comes with a consequence. Both of them knew they were living on borrowed time, but that is what enriches the love they have for each other.

There is a future where Moiraine is waiting for Siuan, but ultimately it can't be because they made a choice to forge a future for the whole world, even if it means forfeiting their happiness. Even if it means they won't live to see it. There is an extremely moving and earth-shattering bravery in that commitment.

[johanna-swann]

Okay, so this is going to sound very conspiracy theory like, but here's what I think happened (in regards to Bobby's death, Tommy being back, Eddie still not being back and a general outlook on season 9).

I think Tim Minear came back to the show, they moved to a different network, they churned out half a season somehow between multiple strikes and other adjustments. They put a lot of money into the opening disaster which worked and got fans excited. They peppered in soap opera style plot points throughout the rest of the season (wedding episode, Buck coming out, Doppelgänger plot, reintroducing Bobby's background, new Henren kid) because the fans care about the characters and what happens to them. There was barely any procedural in this drama throughout most of season 7, it was 90% the characters' personal drama they showed.

But people were willing to overlook this because at least all the characters had stuff going on and there were extenuating circumstances. Then season 8a rolled around. Once again they went big on the opening disaster, after that though?

Most of the plots introduced in season 7 were dropped immediately. Bobby was suicidal at the end of last season, he's fine in 8x01 though. The conflict between Eddie and Christopher is mentioned here and there, but we don't see Eddie working on his issues. Ortiz is defeated and written out of the show in the very first episode after the opening disaster. Athena gets her thriller plot in the opening disaster and then gets sidelined for the next idk how many episodes. Maddie and Chimney are barely main characters at all, they mostly just exist in the background. The only relevant plot they kept going was Bucktommy, but even they only got insubstantial comedy side plots until they were suddenly broken up. The mid-season finale was a huge let-down and there was barely anything interesting going on in the show anymore.

Here's where the conspiracy part begins: Without the distraction of at least one engaging plot to follow and the lack of new episodes coming in viewers started to notice that the show was treading water. Then the feedback started to trickle in and it wasn't good. I think that's when they decided that they really had to do something that would shake things up and change things permanently. They had already filmed the serial killer two parter though, so they only made small changes / additions (Buddie goodbye scene) and started to really write stories with a lasting impact again post 8x10.

Call me crazy, but I think they really didn't plan to bring Tommy back, not so soon and not as Buck's love interest. That's not what the interviews sounded like back in November. But then, only a few episodes after the break-up suddenly Tommy was back, they showed how both Buck and Tommy still have feelings for each other and literally made Buck say the words "I am not in love with Eddie". There will be no more "will they won't they" "queerbaity-ish" plots between Buck and Eddie, that conversation is over. They gave a nod to the fandom by bringing it up like "yeah, we see you" and at the same time let them down gently by saying "we're going another direction though". That is a very permanent decision for a show that doesn't like change. The way they keep bringing Tommy back, even when he's only mentioned, could very well also mean he's here to stay which means giving Buck, the resident perpetual bachelor, a permanent love interest. Another huge change.

The second thing they did was remove Eddie from the equation. Not completely, not permanently, not yet. But let me just throw the idea out there: What if this was a test run? A "let's not get rid of him just yet, let's see if we can manage without him first". So they sent Eddie to Texas. Finally did something with that plot, even if it was severely disappointing and made no sense. (The problem was that Eddie had issues he didn't work on and in the process hurt his kid and broke his trust. Then we see them in Texas, but suddenly Eddie's mom is the actual problem while Christopher is super chill around Eddie? When the last time we saw them speak to each other Christopher barely wanted to talk to Eddie? Make it make sense.) Anyway, Eddie still got his screen time, but they kept him firmly separated from the 118. Buck was on the phone with Eddie a few times, mostly so Eddie would have a scene partner who he could talk to openly, nobody else even mentioned Eddie. Bobby accidentally called Ravi "Eddie" twice, but I think that was more about Ravi feeling like maybe he doesn't belong rather than Bobby actually missing Eddie. So yeah, maybe this was a trial run to see if they can do season 9 without Eddie and so far I have to admit, I don't really miss him? I'm sure they could've worked him into the recent two parter, but they definitely didn't need him.

Third they brought back Ravi and this time everyone is happy to have him there. Buck tries to actually be his friend this time around, gets to be a mentor figure for him and Ravi has his small "maybe I'm not cut out for this" to "I'll commit domestic terrorism if that's what it takes" arc. 8x14 really cemented that Ravi is a part of the team and he chooses to be a part of this team. He's a pall bearer in Bobby's funeral for god's sake, he belongs to the 118 - a 118 that needs new members because they're losing at least one this season. So. Ravi main season 9?

Big change number 4 - Bobby's death. A main character death is a big, big stunt. If they decide they don't like Tommy for Buck after all, they can change their minds later. If they decide they want Eddie back, they can leave options open to bring him back later. Bobby's death? They can't walk that one back. Bobby and Buck are probably the most central characters for the firefam (Bobby as the patriarch and Buck as the link between all sides of the family) and Peter Krause is no small name on tv. This is not a move they would've pulled if they weren't committed to making drastic changes to a show that previously had come to a bit of a standstill. They want to change the very foundation of this show. If they're willing to kill off one of the main characters among main characters, what else are they willing to change? Some of the above? All of it?

The final piece is still very vague, but they also said they wanted to keep Athena connected to the 118 in a tangible way. People have suggested that May might become a firefighter, but tbh I don't think it would fit. She already was a part of the first responder network for an entire year and then decided to go to uni anyway. Athena went to uni and then decided to become a cop instead, May did it the other way around. Why would they change that again now? I think it's more likely that a) Harry graduates and applies to the academy or that b) they'll make May and Ravi a couple. The latter could also make sense if they're trying to keep the same amount and kinds of couples around. If Buck and Tommy really get back together and become a permanent fixture in the 911 universe, May and Ravi could be the new "will they won't they" couple who keep running into stupid hurdles because they're not sure what they're doing while Bucktommy slowly settle down.

Conclusion: Big changes are on the horizon for 911, they already vaguely teased that there may be cast changes other than just Peter Krause being gone for season 9. I think they decided that some major changes needed to happen during the winter hiatus and then talked about a few possibilities, tried some of them and are now ready to finalise those decisions. Maybe one of the reasons that filming is coming along so slowly is that they weren't sure yet which route to go, had to re-shoot scenes or filmed several versions to choose from. (There are soooo many stills that never showed up in an episode.) Idk, but what I do know is that there are a lot of possibilities for permanent change to choose from and they seem committed to actually go through with those changes this time.

[wlwsoccerfics]

Lightheaded(ArsenalWomenXMeadReader)

Warnings: Reader has adhd and is sick.

Summary: you give the Team a scare during a Game when you have to Go to the hospital. Lotte is going with you since she is out with an injury.

You had a cold the last two weeks. But were finally back on the pitch after you have been cleared for practice two days ago. What you didn't tell people, was that you had an ear infection still. Which you didn't think was important to mention. Would have been important though. Which you would find out soon.

It was the second half of the Game. The 49th Minute when the lightheaded feeling was coming back. You had it every day since the cold you had. But you didn't think anything about it. Until you stopped running down the pitch and started swaying. You couldn't even reply to Leah anymore who was trying to get your attention. She was quick to hold you up though. The Game was paused and the medics quickly ran over. So did Beth. Your older sister.

"y/n? What's wrong?" Beth asked, really concerend. Viv also ran over. She was your sister in law and played for Manchester City.

"i feel lightheaded & and my head hurts. So do my eyes and ears!" You admitted. Closing your eyes now. Holding your head.

"did you forget to drink water again, kleintje?" Viv wanted to know. She was quite concerned but tried to stayed calm for Beth who looked really stressed. You indeed didn't drink alot of water. You were a 17 year old Teenage girl with adhd. So you often forgot to eat and drink. Which is why your sister usually reminded you. Cause you live with her and with Viv when she is in London.

"might have forgotten that." You admitted.

"we will get you checked out at the hospital." The medics said. That is how you ended up being taken off of the field on a stretcher. Taking into the ambulance right away. you had your eyes closed for the most part because everything was spinning and you felt really crappy.

At the hospital they checked you over. Lotte was out with an injury so she went there with you. Keeping the Team updated.

"why didn't you tell anyone you still had struggles with your ears?" Lotte asked when you were on your way back to the stadium (one of the staff members picked you up) to meet up with the rest of the Team.

"i didn't think it was so important." You admitted.

"well it is when it comes to Balance and feeling dizzy!" Lotte told you.

"i promise i will let everyone know when i am not feeling well and i promise i will rest the two weeks the doctor suggested to make sure everything is okay." You let Lotte know. Offering her a soft smile. Leaning your head against her shoulder. Closing your eyes.

"tired?" Lotte wanted to know.

"yes, a little." You admitted.

"then rest, we will be back to the stadium in 20 minutes or so." She answered. Wrapping an arm around you. You had a pretty great Power nap.

When you reached the Stadium and walked into the changing rooms where your Team was already waiting for you, Beth went to hug you right away.

"you really scared me." Beth admitted.

"i am sorry!" You told her.

"never scare us like that ever again!" Leah stated.

"i will try not to!" You said and blushed a bit.

"good. from now on you will let us know when you don't feel well!" Kim answered. It wasn't a suggestion it was an Order from your Captain.

"yes Kim!" You replied and sighed softly.

"let's get you home now and rest. Viv already went home to make your favorite food." Beth informed you.

"okay!"you just said and then hugged everyone. Saving Lotte for last.

"Thank you for going with me to the hospital. Means alot to me!" You told her.

"always, and let me know when you need something. I am always just a call away!" Lotte replied and squeezed your shoulder gently.

You went Home and ate some of your favorite food before Beth helped you shower and you went to bed. Having some much needed rest.

[cautious-soup]

Ex-Bully!Satoru Gojo x Fem!Reader

Summary: Sequel to my Bully!Satoru Gojo story.

You and Satoru spend time together, all the while pretending the two of you together aren't a disaster.

CW// discussion of non-con

A/N: READ ME!! This is an experimental chapter, I'm dubious on whether or not this is a good direction to take the story. Please vote in the polls at the end of you like this direction!!!

ALSO please vote after reading on which JJK character I should write about next!! Tysm, and please enjoy this new chapter :)

✿❀✿❀✿

2 months. That was how long Satoru had gone without touching you. That time was part of an eternity to him, an eternity where he never got to see you again. It was endless at best, and maddening at worst.

The world really was on the side of awful people. That he was able to see you again at all, hold you, kiss you—what right did he have?

"I don't completely forgive you, it just isn't possible," you'd said, and he understood.

He told you he was sorry, but not for hurting you. No, if he could go back to when you both first met, he'd do it all over again—nothing felt as good as taking from you.

He was sorry for wanting to hurt you, for reveling in it, craving it.

It wasn't his secret to keep, so he told you as much.

"…that's fucked up," you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. "You say all of that while I'm alone with you?"

Satoru looks down and wrings his hands. It was the day after the cafe, and Satoru invited you to the hotel he was staying at. You obliged his invitation, against your better judgement. Every interaction you had with this man was against your better judgement really. Now, you were both sitting on the couch in his hotel room, trying and failing to have a productive, adult conversation.

"Have you…been to therapy at all?" He asks carefully.

"What good would that do when I still…" you sigh, "Every part of my being is screaming at me to get away from you…and every part of my being is pleading for me to stay with you."

Madness. 

"I can't," Satoru looks at you, "I can't promise I won't end up doing something selfish—something that'll hurt you."

"Well yeah, you clearly can't control your impulses," you snort. 

"I can control them I—Y/N, I've never been this way about anyone but you. I beat up a guy at a party for cornering a chick once,"

"So you're a hypocrite?"

"…at best."

More silence.

Nothing about this was safe or sane. You were a rabbit twining itself with a wolf who was never satisfied. How long before he devoured you whole?

Maybe you were a masochist.

"I don't know what it is about you," Satoru said lowly, gazing at you, unblinking, "I get things from you that I can't from anyone—anything else." 

Satoru is closing the space between you, clutching your shoulders, "Y/N, you have to get away from me. I know you said you'd give me a second chance but I don't deserve it. Whatever you choose to give me won't ever be enough…"

You know that. You know that, and yet.

"You are so mentally unwell," you sigh.

"I learn from the best," Satoru joked, letting go of you.

"Hey, you went crazy way before I did," you say, and Satoru shrugs, "I dunno, you definitely could've called the campus police on me or something."

"Oh so we're victim blaming now?"

"No of course not I'm just saying th—ow!"

Satoru rubs his shoulder, "Ok ok, sorry. My fault."

"Yep."

"…"

"…"

"…can we please make out now?"

"You finally learned how to ask for things?" You ask, shuffling over the couch cushions toward him.

"Yeah, I studied for years," Satoru hummed, laying his hands on your waist and pulling you forward.

Your lips come together, and the most agonizing bliss washes over you.

Nothing else feels like this. Nothing.

✿❀✿❀✿

Recent Search History:

Whats codependantcy

(Did you mean codependency?)

Is codependantcy bad?

(Did you mean codependency?)

Codependent relationships example

Am I a bad person?

I'm in love and it hurts

I feel insane

Does she think about me as much as I think about her?

✿❀✿❀✿

"Oh my god, stop asking,"

"I thought consent was a good thing—"

"Yes but not every two minutes," you whimper, wrapping your legs tighter around Satoru's waist, "Please just," you can't finish. You've never wanted him this bad. It's embarassing.

But Satoru is flushed too, mouth wet and half open, eyes lidded and entranced with you. 

"Before…" you start, and Satoru dazedly meets your eyes. You feel yourself getting flustered—his looks really were unfair.

"A-ah um, before you always said I wasn't your type, um…" you don't let on how much it got to you, all of the comments about you being "plain" and "a 6 at best".

But you were only human.

Satoru's brows bunch together, and he sighs, letting his forhead fall against your shoulder.

"I was just being a dick…" he murmured, "Um…fuck I really am the worst,"

"No," you sit up slightly, "No, you don't get to sulk. You made your bed, now lie in it."

"…well I'm lying in a bed now," he says, pulling away from your shoulder just enough to look at you.

"You're annoying," you sigh, pulling Satoru's face towards yours and kissing him again.

✿❀✿❀✿

How do you want it?

I don't know.

Please—tell me.

I don't know just…stop asking. Do what you've always done.

…ok

✿❀✿❀✿

"Whatever I want?" You ask, glancing up at him.

"Anything," he says, "Please, get anything you want. Even if it feels impulsive."

Earlier in the hotel room, Satoru laid panting beside you and asked, "What do you, haah, what do you like to do around here anyway?"

You'd shrugged, "Eh, there's nothing to do around here besides eat and shop. I like the movies best. The malls are nice too, especially the more expensive one, though I mostly just do window shopping there…"

"…window shopping?" He'd asked. You realize it must be an unfamiliar concept for someone like him, seeing something you want and not having it immediately.

He looked at you strangely after you explained. The next thing you knew, you were at said expensive shopping center, with Satoru encouraging you to pick out everything you wanted.

"Well," you say, sipping a 10 dollar pistichio latte, "This is definitely a start."

Satoru smiles indulgently at you. He's been looking at you the whole time, actually, watching you flit about every store, urging you towards the most expensive items and laughing at your reactions to the prices. 

He kept steering you towards clothing stores too, and picking out clothes for you like a fussy parent. He did have good taste to be fair. 

You were still flustered though— Satoru didn't do anything to hide the dark satisfaction that crossed his features whenever you emerged from a dressing, room covered head to toe in obscenely expensive clothes he'd chosen for you.

"Anywhere else you wanna go?" He asks, watching as you finish your coffee.

"Hm," you look down at the floor surrounding your table. An army of bags were at both of your feet. Satoru insisted on carrying everything, but after a while he just looked like a walking pile of bags himself. So you took as many as you could carry. Even between the two of you, it was still overwhelming.

"…maybe we should head to the car and uh, put these away,"

Satoru looked down at the bags, laughing, "Sheesh, did we really get this much?"

"I guess so," you say.

"Then, let's go see a movie,"

"Which one?"

"Whichever one is most popular at the time of reading," Satoru says.

You both go see a movie that's very relevant. You let yourself order items off the theater menu you didn't know existed.

"Why's this place have waffles?" Satoru snickered.

"Why're you soaking yours in so much syrup?" You ask, watching as the waffle practically drowns.

"The more sugar the better," he says simply. 

The person in front of you turns and scowls, and you smile apologetically.

But Satoru wouldn't stop talking during the movie and making you laugh, and his hand somehow made its way up your thigh. 

Some part of you wanted to recoil, but another part of you wanted to lean into the tough tenfold.

This isn't normal you think, lacing yours and Satoru's fingers together.

✿❀✿❀✿

"How's your head, by the way?" 

Satoru glances away from the road at you, confused. You hesitate, then clarify, "When I slugged you with my graduation mug."

"Oh!" He says, "Yeah I'm fine. You should've hit me harder to be honest."

"Yeah I get it, you're the worst. God, how do you still manage to keep the conversation about you?" You ask, exasperated.

"Hey you asked me this time," he says. 

"Ah, this is it," you say after a few minutes. Satoru nods, pulling in front of your house.

"I'll help you bring the bags in," he says, and you nod.

Your parents were the type to have the garage door closed even when they were home. You never had any way of knowing if they were gone until you went inside.

And alas, they were home.

Your mom stares at you and Satoru from the kitchen. You watch her work through everything in her head, watch her eyes dart from him, to you, to the host of shopping bags you're both carrying, to the red spot on your neck that you didn't bother covering up.

"Oh my," she whispers.

✿❀✿❀✿

A/N: HERE ARE THE POLLS PLEASE VOTE THANKS

Just realized you can't have two polls in one post so here's the other one

Thanks for reading sorry for all the chaos lol

[existence-is-a-pain87]

Can you Do Scraps Plz

Alrighty! As a warning, I haven't been fortunate enough to get enough things to play as Scraps in the game, so I'm going off the wiki. If I'm doing anything wrong regarding her in character or anything, please tell me immediately so I can go fix it!

Also, this story is written with the assumption those who read it have a pet cat. Because I have a cat and also think having a cat would have some unique benefits in the story. (Also I just like cats. And yes, you guys can have pictures of my cat if you ask <3)

There for You

Yandere!Self-Aware!Scraps x Reader

Warnings: Obsession and general yandere behaviors

--☆☆☆☆☆--

Scraps was one of the Toons who grew curious about you when she heard you.

She saw Goob's excitement, heard his curious rambles about you, his questioning if you liked hugs, how he really wanted to hug you since your voice made you sound like the most huggable person in the whole world!

She was a little more skeptical, worrying if you weren't a good person. What if you wanted to hurt her? What if you wanted to hurt Goob?

Then she heard you get excitement over having a Goob join your run. Heard you remark how you wanted to play as him but needed more research.

Even if you got frustrated whenever a Twisted Scraps or Twisted Goob appeared, she quickly figured out you just didn't like having to deal with being attacked at a range.

You cared about her and her younger brother.

So is it surprising she grew to care about you?

--☆☆☆--

Soon she started learning more things about you.

You liked to draw and create.

She would love to make arts and crafts with you! She hopes you know some good things to make!

You were airheaded and a bit forgetful.

Just like her! Hehe!

You liked other games too.

She just hopes Dandy's World is your favorite. She doesn't want you to get distracted and stop playing. That would make Goob sad!

And make her sad too...

And, much to her glee, you had a pet cat!

Even if she wasn't a cat, that meant you had to like her! Everyone calls her a cat anyways, so that means if you like cats, you like her!

She just hopes you'll like her more than your pet cat...

Why shouldn't she tell you about herself if she was able to learn so much about you?

When you finally managed to get her Toon form and play as her, it wasn't hard for the rest of your team to die and for it to just be you and her entering the elevator.

It was hilariously easy to say a new line, her commenting on how she wanted to try doing something new, and for you to speak.

To speak and be completely unaware of how she heard you.

You offered the idea of crocheting little animals into the shape of these cutesy little balls. How bees would be a great start.

She loved your idea. The moment you finished playing and left to do something else for a bit, she immediately got started.

She made all sorts of animals. She gave some to Goob.

Scraps loves your ideas.

She wants to hear more of them.

--☆☆☆--

Scraps hates seeing you cry.

One you played, quietly sobbing because something went wrong in your life.

Fortunately, you were playing as her.

So it wasn't hard to start saying new lines. One's you barely noticed were different.

But you started venting.

And Scraps listened.

She would do anything to help you.

That was the day she made her promise.

--☆☆☆--

Scraps made a little figurine of you.

She didn't know what you looked like, so she designed you off of what your voice sounded like.

You sounded kind, so she made you look kind.

You sounded creative, so she made you look creative.

Goob helped. He said you sounded like you were the most huggable person to ever be hugged, so your little figurine was perfect to hug.

Scraps even went and made little figurines of her and Goob to stay with your figurine.

She put them in a little shrine she made.

She always made sure to add new crafts to the shrine she made for you each and every day!

She loves you.

She loves you so much.

She promises one thing.

Her one promise she'll never forget nor break.

She'll always be there for you.

[agentoffangirling]

I really don't like it when people try to present Team Cap and Team Iron Man as being the same thing, bc they're very clearly not? (And sorry for doing this type of discourse in 2025, but it needs to be said)

Because let's be honest, the mainline MCU didn't really focus on the Sokovia Accords past Civil War. It's not present in Doctor Strange, Black Widow, Homecoming (at least in a large capacity), certainly not Ragnarok or GOTG 2, Black Panther, and almost no one cares by Infinity War. When we look at the projects post Accords, there are hardly any moments where they matter, and by 2025, they're fully repealed. Nine years of being active, five of whom were during the Snap, meaning only four years, and most of the projects don't go very in depth. That tends to lead mainline audiences into believing it was never that bad in the first place and that Cap was being selfish

But we see how the Accords really effect everyday powered people in the supplemental material like Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. After being introduced, powered people had three options

Go into hiding. Live a normal life. Never show off your abilities

Sign the Accords. If you were part of a government agency like S.H.I.E.L.D., it is heavily implied you had to sign or you couldn't work for them anymore

Don't sign and show off your powers? You go to the Raft

This went for everyone, it didn't matter if your power was making farts smell good, you counted as powered. Imagine the bank down the street is getting robbed, with these in place, you couldn't do anything about it if you weren't signed or you risked going to jail; they're awful options

Or what if you were signed? Great, now all your information (powers, weaknesses, danger level, LITERALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU) is held in a massive server that can be easily hacked and accessed. We see in AoS s4 that signed Inhumans are getting harmed bc the Watchdogs, a hate organization, was able to get their hands on their information and find out exactly where they were. POWERED PEOPLE WORE TRACKERS THAT WAS CONSTANTLY BEING UPDATED ON THEIR LOCATION. THAT'S FUCKING WRONG IN SO MANY WAYS

Let's switch gears for a sec here and go to another side, where thankfully, that isn't happening to you, but you do wanna make some kind of change in your community. You notice that people are going missing, that there's weird power outages and decide that's worth looking into, so you go to the council and present your case. Now, as we all know, politicians never agree on anything, so the chance of getting an immediate yes is almost impossible (I'd argue 1% is far too generous in this case). It may take weeks, months, or the decision is swept under the rug and oopsies, now the entirety of Florida is covered by a blanket of darkness!

Or you get a no, and actually, they want you to check out this tiny little village in New Zealand, and so you have no choice but to go. You quickly realize that this isn't really worth your time and feel like your services are required elsewhere, but again, you're not able to back out. When you return, you find that London has been utterly destroyed. This is a situation that Steve himself brings up, and it's something that absolutely could happen! There are just endless risks to this

Then, of course, the worst scenario, being sent to the Raft, which, bc it's in international waters, they can do whatever they want to you!! Doesn't matter if it's inhumane, no one can do shit about it. It's stated in "Jessica Jones" that prisoners aren't allowed to have any contact with the outside world, and if you go in there, you go in for good. Almost no one makes it out. Again, it doesn't matter who you were and what your powers were, you would be stuck inside with the worst of the worst. WANDA MAXIMOFF WAS IN A SHOCK COLLAR AND STRAIGHTJACKET. How in any situation is that okay??

Steve understood this, understood the true consequences of handing themselves over to hundreds of governments. He wasn't against having regulations (neither am I) but he knew this wasn't the right way to go

One side holds all the power. The other holds nothing. This is in no way equal

[alexanderlightweight]

Hope your yard work went well and the heat wasn't too strong! On this not-but-still Wednesday, I would like to prompt either established Malec with one making flower crowns/bouquets for the other, or not-established Malec with pining Alec making courting flower bouquets but hesitating to give them to Magnus - basically I'd like to see our pretty boys with flowers, sfw/nsfw as you'd like 🌻

thank you!! I did conquer the yard!!! I think it may have also conquered me a bit but that's what happened when you're allergic and disabled and doing yard work ^_^ still worth it to do it myself rn tho. I like yard work, I just complain because its also hard and exhausting and I'm allergic to half of it. which means I just get more stubborn tbh.

this is in the petals vs. because Alec and Magnus love their flower crowns and their garden and each other in most verses but especially this verse. they're as soft as petals for each other.

and I hope you enjoy, it's just something soft and sweet between them

<3 lumine

in his wake petals fall

Alec normally lets Magnus make the flower crowns, however he’s been tempted by the star jasmine climbing up the trellis.

It’s delicate and fragrant and the vines tangle with his fingers, Magnus’ magic as eager for contact as Alec is.

It’s not a perfect crown, not like the ones Magnus makes, but it’s elegant enough and it will hold together and that’s all Alec needs.

One crown is for his own brow and the other he holds carefully, with a care normally reserved for adamas fragments and newly born babes.

Magnus is on the phone, voice terse and bordering angry and Alec hides the crown behind his back.  The last thing he wants is Magnus reacting to the sight of it and ruining his phone call.

There are two ways it could go.

One, Magnus is overly charmed and his anger disappears, thus letting some undeserving lout get away with wasting his time.

Or two, he will become even more enraged and eviscerate his client until there is nothing left of them before kissing Alec breathless.

As much as Alec enjoys the latter option, he doesn’t want to risk the first and also, the client might be important.

Not more important than Alec and his flower crowns — Alec knows better than to even think such a thing near Magnus who will then utterly prove him wrong — but still, important enough to be careful.

Alec shuffles to the side and places the crown behind the teakettle, easy to retrieve but where Magnus won’t be able to see it from where his magic is rippling through the air.

Alec watches it with delighted amusement, reaching out his fingers to pass through the vibrant red energy and charmed when it turns purple-blue and wreathes around his fingers. 

It catches Magnus’ attention enough that his anger wanes enough for a delighted smile and the blowing of a magical kiss that Alec catches.

It’s warm and soft and filled with adoration and Alec wishes he had the magic to send one back, but instead he simple walks over and presses a gentle kiss to Magnus’ jaw and then his forehead.

Magnus relaxes then, leaning back against Alec when he braces himself, letting Magnus use his strength.

—

“What would I do without you, hmm?” Magnus murmurs quietly, the words almost too soft to be heard and then the moment is broken by yet another tedious question.

Magnus is about to send magic through the phone and set the werewolf he’s dealing with on fire.

Alas, Magnus cannot go killing all the alpha’s in the East Coast no matter how much easier it would make his life.

Even Alexander’s kiss to his hair doesn’t calm him.  Not when he catches the gentle scent of jasmine and realizes just how long he’s been on the call.

Alexander made himself a flower crown!

He now dons it, soft and luxurious and entirely made without Magnus magic — except the fact that it was grown with his magic but still, it should have been twinned by his fingers and magic.

Not that Alexander didn’t do a lovely job, but it’s the pride of it.

Alexander is supposed to be crowned by Magnus’ hand and he feels as though his client has stolen a bit of peace and happiness away.

It’s with anger sparking that he verbally cuts down the werewolf’s pride to a more manageable degree and then hangs up.

He’ll call back tonight.

Or tomorrow.

Whenever he next thinks of it and once he has corrected his erroneous mistake.

“Darling, I’ve failed you.” Magnus murmurs, truly distraught despite the fact that Alexander is looking at him with nothing but charmed fondness and love.

“Actually, I wanted to surprise you. I just didn’t want to interrupt.” And then Alexander is leaving him — which is truly the most heinous of crimes.  

Except then he is forgiven.

Instantly, because he’s made Magnus a charming matching crown with the slightest bit of a lopsided vine and Magnus will crush stars and diamonds to ensure that this crown never fades.

“I love it.” 

Magnus doesn’t even let Alexander speak, motioning with an eager gesture and it gets him several kisses before the crown is placed gently on his coiffed hair.

It smells divine but it’s even better because Alexander’s angelic magic is delicate and intertwined with Magnus’ own magic and the vines.

A small gift of himself that has Magnus pulling him in for a kiss.

-

yes Alec weighs his choices based on whether or not he thinks it will help or deter. like sometimes its good that he can redirect Magnus and sometimes, it wont actually help in the long run and he needs to consider that because they make each other too happy

[youre-my-headliner]

I'D HOLD YOUR HEART IN MY BLOOD STAINED HANDS! s. gojo

pairing: gojo satoru x fem!reader

《Sypnosis》 He's lived his entire life pushing his emotions in. But it all came coughing out with blood when you entered his life.

Warnings: mentions of blood, pain, coughing. Satosugu trauma. Hanahaki disease au. wdc: 11k

author's note: I know it took a lot of time but it's here!! I hope you enjoy it. The pictures aren't mine. Credits go to the rightful owners. His back is so *crying, throwing up, clawing my nails in the wall*

Satoru spent his life feeling hollow from the inside. An inexplicable numbness. An inexplicable void.

He plastered a smile on the outside and laughed heartily. Like nothing was wrong. Like he wasn't suffering from the inside. Like he wasn't holding onto to the very last shred of hope that soon things would get better. A rope that slowly stretched itself thin.

Gojo Satoru just wanted to be loved.

He felt like he was loved too-when he met Suguru, that is. In Suguru he found friendship. He found a brother. He found someone to share his burdens with.

But then Suguru left. He left because he was so confused between his morals and practicality, that he spiraled out of controll and found a way out through the most extreme path.

And Satoru? He spent the rest of his years in guilt and remorse. Guilt for not noticing Suguru's pain. For being so busy running from his own pain, he didn't notice his best friend falling apart.

The growing numbness in his chest coincided with Suguru leaving.

But like always, he hid it well.

And while all he longed for was to be understood, to be seen, he also knew that it was a dream far from coming true. No one looked at his soul. No one cared about the cracks. They all looked at the power, the strength.

But that was until you came along.

You'd just returned from an oversees mission. You had impressive power yourself so the higher ups thought it would be better to send you off to deal with curses oversees.

But recently there had been a shortage of sorcerers in Japan and so you were called back. To teach the second years.

Gojo had been assigned to show you around the school and get acquainted with the second years. It was a little awkward at first. He plastered his best smiled and made small jokes around the way to ease up the tension. Like throwing stuff at the wall til it sticks. And it did.

Soon you both started to laugh around over silly little things. After that, he started to look forward to see you everyday.

He soon started to notice little things about you. The way your eyes looked like two crescent moons when you smiled and closed completely when you laughed. Your little habit of twirling the ring on you index finger when you thinking about something. Or how you always double tied your shoe laces before training with the second years or going on a mission.

But that's okay....friends notice these things about each other right? Right. Sure. Because that's exactly what this was. No his heart never thumped loudly in his chest when he saw you. No he never almost embarrassed himself in front of you to make you laugh. No his stomach didn't do backflips and somersault when he actually heard you laugh.

I mean, just because he purposely accidentally memorized your very specific coffee order and brought it to you from the one coffee shop you like every day... doesn't mean he likes you or anything!

But when he did realize that he was in love with you, it wasn't anything grand. The air didn't smell sweet. Violins didn't play in the background. Angels didn't start to harmonize in the air.

It was actually very simple, but also touched the very depths of his soul.

It was late at night, and he had just returned from a rather tough mission. He was in his classroom catching up on some paperwork after the mission (much to his reluctance).

You noticed the lights in his classroom were on so you went in to check it out. You entered the office and leaned against one of desks and folded your arms across your chest. You said, "Hey. You're still here? I thought you went straight home after your mission."

He chuckled softly. "No, just catching up on some paperwork..."

Your face curled into a grimace. "Ugh, I hate paperwork too...so how was the mission?"

"Good enough... I am a little tired though."

You looked at him with narrow eyes. You pushed yourself off the desk and walked towards him. Your eyes softened slightly at the edges as you said, "You know you can talk to me right? About anything."

His eyes widened slightly under his blindfold and his lips parted by a few centimeters. "Really? You mean that?"

"Yeah Gojo. Even the strongest needs someone to rely on.", you said with a shrug.

Satoru's heart thumped loudly in his chest and his brain screeched to a halt. The silence in the room was deafening-to him atleast. His soul shook a little in his body. His breath hitched in his throat though he hoped you wouldn't notice.

No thoughts.

Just you.

Telling him you would listen.

That you would see what's inside instead of focusing on the outside.

That you were willing to see the cracks and fix them up with care and support him instead of just looking at the strength and calling it a day.

That shook Gojo. To the very depths of his heart. He felt like he could finally let someone in. Someone who was willing to share his burdens with him.

"It's Satoru", he said, after a long pause.

"Huh?"

"Call me Satoru.", he said as his lips slowly curled into a smile.

You mirrored his smile with a soft one of your own. "Satoru...", you whispered, testing his name out on your mouth.

Satoru...

His own name.

He never thought he would find the sound of his own name to be so sweet. The way you pronounced the syllables of his name in such a delicate and fragile manner. As if it was the most precious thing in the world.

Satoru...

He fell in love with the sound of his own name. But that was only when it came out of your mouth. When it fell out of you lips so naturally... like it was meant to...

That was when he realized that his very name would be safe coming out of your mouth.

That was when he realized that he loved you. He had fallen in love with you. He realized that you completed him. He tied his entire existence to you in that moment.

That night he went home feeling so happy yet so anxious. He has feelings for you. What was he supposed to do with them though? He's dated before but those relationships never worked out well.

But he knew one thing for sure. He was going to be yours for the rest of his life. That one night, when you told him that he could rely on you... he felt the happiest.

But as the night grew longer, he couldn't find sleep at all. He laid in bed the entire night staring at the ceiling. Soon, his thoughts got the best of him and he remembered Suguru.

He remembered how he thought that Suguru could be his one true friend. He felt like he could rely on him. And for a very long time he did. Until he couldn't anymore.

And then he started thinking about you. If you avidly see the cracks beneath the surface, would you leave? Would they disgust you? Would they make you walk away from him forever?

So decided to do what he does best. He decided to push you away. He decided to keep his feeling pressed deep down in his heart till he didn't feel anything at all for you. He tried to cut you away from him for your own good. But you always pushed back.

Every time you came to him to talk or maybe even ran into him, he would try to push you away. But he couldn't. He physically couldn't.

You had a small routine type thing (If you could even call it that.) of going on a walk around the campus after class in the evenings. You would roam around, talking about everything and nothing, tell each other about your day, missions and other stuff like that.

So when you came to him after his class ended, and asked him to go on a walk with you like always, his brain screamed at him to say no. To resist the pull you had over him. To not fall in deeper. But the minute he opened his mouth, one syllable fell out of his lips...

"Yes."

Everything about you drew him in. The gentle smile that played on your lips at the sight of him. The sweet, honey-filled, sonorous laughter you could never hide whenever he cracked a joke, or got a little flustered around him. The sparkle and shine in your eyes when you spoke about something you liked passionately.

It all drew him in you. Made him fall even deeper in love with you. How was he supposed to push all of that away, when he would give his everything to make you laugh?

Everything in the world reminded of you. A desert he saw from the window of a shop? Oh isn't that your favourite? White lilies he saw at a flower shop? Your hair smelled like them this morning. A little bush near the school that grew out jasmines every spring? The scent reminded him of the scent that lingered in the air whenever you left a room. He'd started to associate the sweet smell of jasmines to you.

To home.

Everything about you was fascinating, divine, perfect and yet, not his.

How could ge possibly push you away when everything reminds him of you?

So then he decided to accept the fact that he was in love with you. It was much easier than running away from his feelings after all. But the minute he decided to something about his feelings for you, a gnawing feeling of doubt crept up his chest.

Would you run away when you saw the cracks in his soul? Would you leave when you saw how broken he was? Would seeing him weak and vulnerable ruin him in your eyes? Would his pain and burdens scare you away once you realized how huge they are?

Did you even love him as deeply as he loved you?

All of these jumbled thoughts made him crawl back into his hole. A hole that he had created for himself to hide from everything and everyone.

He promised himself that he would not show you any of his pain or burdens. He would not let you see the ugliness even though you told him to. Even though you assured him that you would listen. That you would be there at the end regardless.

~

He met you again this evening for another one of your dates walks, before going on a mission. You two walked out of the school's gates and walked, with no direction in mind. You told each other about your day, talked about everything and nothing at the same time. You told him about your recent mission, he told you about something that happened in class. Conversation flew between you effortlessly, that's the way it had always been.

He then decided to walk you home. You walked through the busy streets of Tokyo till you reached your house. He stopped by your doorstep and said, "I have to go on a mission now, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Alright, don't do anything stupid though. I'm not gonna be there to save your ass every time.", you said with a playful roll of your eyes.

"You wound me. You really do.", he said dramatically.

You smiled at his antics. He stared at you smile for a few minutes. His gaze flew down to your lips for just a second before going back up to your eyes. It was quiet for a while. The crickets chirped in the background, and the only source of light in the area were the streetlamps near your house.

Streaks of golden light fell on your face, framing your face with a yellow glow. They made your eyes shine a little brighter than usual when you smiled. The intimacy of this quiet moment made Gojo's heart thump in his chest.

"Goodnight Satoru.", you said while closing your door.

This was what he wanted with you. To walk you home every night, kiss your beautiful pink lips goodnight, profess his love for you for the millionth time before leaving. But you could never be his. How could someone so broken as him, be with someone so perfect as you?

"'Night...", he said quietly. He stood outside your door for a few minutes.

He walked away from you house and to the mission site, but his mind was still plagued with your thoughts. Suddenly, he felt a burning sensation in his throat. He started cough lightly into his hand. He thought that it was nothing, til he felt like he was choking. He went into a coughing fit. His broad shoulders shuddered with the force of the coughs.

The coughs slowly reduced. He brought his hand away from his mouth and looked into it. His hand was covered in drops of blood and...Jasmine petals?

He stared at his hand in confusion. How was he coughing out flowers? He felt his chest getting heavier, like someone threw a block of iron on his chest and won't pick it up. Then realization hit him. His eyes widened in shock at the possibility.

He couldn't...

He couldn't possibly have...

No. He steeled his mind and focused on the mission ahead, while making a mental note to visit Shoko later. He stuffed the Jasmine petals in his pockets and continued his mission.

~

Gojo stood in Shoko's office. His battered in anticipation while he waited for Shoko to finish observing the petals. Shoko knew he had feelings for you. He never told her, but she knew anyways. She had her own ways. She also knew why he refused to tell you. After all, she carried baggage of her own, just in a different way.

He knew that the possibility of him having the disease was high, but he didn't want to risk it. He ran a hand through his already messed up hair and leaned back in his seat.

Shoko looked up at him, her eyes tight at the corners. "You were right. You do have the disease.", she said grimly.

Gojo ran a hand over his face and sighed. A long silence took over in Shoko's office. After a while Shoko decided to break the silence. "Are you...going to tell her?", Shoko asked, in a quiet voice.

Gojo's head snapped up at her. He looked at her with wide eyes. "No! How could you even ask me that? That is not an option Shoko!", Gojo exclaimed, his voice ringing through the office.

"Your condition is going to get worse, you have to tell her! It's either this or the surgery.", Shoko said with urgency. Of course, she still thought he was a douche, but after Suguru left, he was all that she had now. The two of them had a silent promise not to let the other one go. Gojo would stand by her when she needed him, and Shoko would help him up when he needed her to. That's how they'd come so far without breaking.

"No! I am not telling her and I'm definitely not getting the surgery." Gojo's voice rose by an octave.

"But-"

"No buts. This ends here.", Gojo said firmly. He stood up an stormed out of Shoko's office.

Surgery was definitely not an option for him. Loving you was the easiest thing he'd done in his entire life. It came to him naturally, like breathing. His heart was so full of you, he could hardly call it his own. He would give up his own life, but he wouldn't get his feelings removed for you. He'd tied his entire existence to you. A little pain and suffering was nothing in the face of the happiness he felt when he saw you laugh, the peace he felt when he made you smile. He thrived on making you feel loved. To him, it didn't matter if you didn't love him back. He was okay with silently loving you from the sidelines. He wanted to spend his life loving you. He even stopped being reckless the way he usually was on missions when you expressed concern for that behavior of his. He lived for you, learnt to live because of you. So what's wrong with dying for you too? At least he would die knowing he made you happy so many times. That in itself was enough to fulfill him.

~

Gojo stood in his bathroom, leaning over the sink while coughing out blood and jasmines. Now he coughed up full flowers instead of just petals. His chest got heavier everyday as the plant grew in his lungs every week. Shoko told him there was still time, that he could still tell you how he feels and live. But he had made up his mind. He had worked hard to create this unshakeable persona of himself in your eyes and he refused to break it, refused to push you away from him.

But you had noticed changes in his behavior too. He spoke very little to you now, only resorting to texts as the way to communicate. And every time he did, he broke into a coughing fit. You also talked to him about this on multiple occasions and even offered to take him to Shoko. But he always shook his head, wiped his mouth and gave you a smile, telling you that he was fine. You figured he would tell you when he felt like it, so you stopped pressing. But after a while, his coughing got more frequent, and you couldn't help but worry.

You rang the doorbell of his house, waited for him to answer. Gojo leaned on his sink, hoping that whoever it was would leave after a while. You knew Gojo was home, you could see the streak of light coming out from underneath his door. So you tried twisting the doorknob. To your surprise, the doorknob twisted completely and his house opened up. You slowly pushed the door open and took a slowly step in his house.

"Satoru!", you called out. "Where are you? I know you're home!"

Gojo's eyes widened. How could you be here? He was about to wash his mouth out when he went into another coughing fit. You heard his coughs from the bathroom and rushed in. You saw him leaning over the sink, blood covering his mouth while spit out more blood mixed with saliva. "Satoru!", you exclaimed in shock. You rushed into the bathroom and placed a hand over his back and rubbed it lightly to make the coughing go away.

His arms and shoulders trembled weakly with the force of his coughs, his knees almost gave out beneath him. He stumbled over the sink, but you caught him in time. You placed a hand on his waist to support him up and your other hand rubbed his chest in slow motions to help him calm down. His coughs reduced to shallow breaths and his chest heaved up and down. His throat felt parched and sweat coated his forehead. You rubbed his chest slowly and he leaned into you, seeking more of your comfort.

You let out a panicked gasp when you saw blood dripping from his mouth and staining the sink. Gojo's heart nearly stopped when you held him up and rubbed his chest. As his coughing stopped, he leaned against the sink and sighed. He closed his stinging eyes and hoped his cheeks didn't look as flushed as they felt. He took a few shaky deep breaths in to calm himself down.

You continued to rub his chest lightly and asked, "What happened to you? You're coughing out blood I didn't know you were this sick!"

Gojo cursed under his breath. He quickly straightened up and turned around to face you. His face was pale, his cheeks were hollow and flushed and his lips were stained with blood. His eyes were filled with sadness, shame, and shock. He didn't want you to see him like this, when he was at his weakest. He didn't want you to worry. "Nothing... I just choked on something...", he said weakly. His voice came out deep and hoarse due to blisters in his throat from the vines growing in it. The lie felt heavy on his tongue.

You looked at him with an incredulous expression. "You don't cough out blood when you choke on something." You gently rubbed his back. "What happened to you? How did you get this sick?", you whispered out of concern.

Gojo's heart ached at the sound of your gentle voice, the caring touch of your hand on his back. It was too much, and yet, at the same time, it wasn't enough. He steeled his heart. A bitter smile fell on his lips, he was already too far gone to deny the truth. He had to tell you the truth. "Its not a sickness...", he started, his eyes dropping in shame. The secret he had been hiding for so long, the one that was killing his, was now on the verge of coming to light.

"What? What do you mean its not a sickness?"

Gojo's mind ached as a sea of emotions threatened to overflow. He took a deep breath, blood mingling with his words as he spoke. "I... I have the Hanahaki disease.", he whispered with his head hung low.

You scoffed at him with an incredulous look on your face. "Satoru that's a very old myth, its not real.", you said, not believing a word that came out of his mouth. "Let's clean you up first..."

Gojo shook his head in shame. He couldn't meet your eyes. Not when he was falling apart in front of you. Unraveling himself in front of you- doing the one thing he promised he wouldn't. He felt pathetic and weak. He was slowly falling apart because of his feelings for you.

"Please, let me explain...just this once...", his hoarse voice quivered. The bitter taste of blood mixed with the metallic tang of pain as more jasmines appeared in the sink.

You grabbed a hand towel from the counter and ran one end of it under the tap. You then squeezed the excess water out of it. You brought it up to his mouth and gently rubbed the corner of his mouth to clean the blood. "You can explain everything later..."

Gojo's breath hitched at the feel of the cool, wet cloth against his lips. The pain of his unrequited love was momentarily forgotten as he felt the gentle touch of your hand wiping away the blood. He couldn't help but lean into your touch, craving your presence with a desperate ache in his chest.

He closed his eyes, his voice a faint whisper as the realization slammed into him once more. He was in love, hopelessly and utterly, with no chance of you returning his feelings.

You ran the other, clean end of the cloth under the water and used it to clean the sweat and tears coated on his face. "...have you been crying?", you asked softly.

Gojo slowly lifted his head and met your gaze. His eyes were indeed red and puffy, a clear indication he'd been crying. His gentle blue eyes, which he only revealed to you, looked dull. As if they held the weight of the world in them. The corners of his eyes softened in exhaustion. He looked away again, unable to meet your eyes due to the shame he felt. "...yes", he whispered. His voice was barely audible as more jasmines threatened to rise up his throat.

Your heart broke at how vulnerable he looked. You wiped his face clean. "Why? What's happening to you? You're pale, you don't eat, you don't sleep. You- you've stopped showing up to the school... How did you get this sick?', you asked in disbelief and concern.

Gojo's heart ached at the sound of your worry, and at the same time, he felt guilty for making you worry so much. He longed to tell you the truth, to spill his heart out and confess that he was suffering from an unrequited love, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He couldn't make himself more vulnerable in front of you than he already was. He promised himself that he would push it down, that he would swallow the pain- and that was exactly what he was going to do. He couldn't let you see him like this. He feared that you would leave him, that you would run away if you saw anything else.

"I'm just tired...", he said weakly. He hated lying to you, but he was doing it for your sake.

"You look like you'll break if i touch you...", you said hesitantly.

Gojo's breath caught in his throat at your words. He knew he was weak, but hearing you say it out loud stung like a dagger through his heart. He hated the vulnerability, the fragility that he had never experienced before. He was supposed to be strong, reliable, but right now he felt more vulnerable than ever.

"Satoru...", you said gently. You brought both your hands up to cup his face. "Talk to me...tell me what's wrong so I can help you...", you urged.

He heard the gentleness of your voice, the way you handled him with such fragility. That's when he felt himself break. Here you were, once again, reassuring him that you'd listen. That you would help. And that's when he started to doubt himself. What if you wouldn't? What if you stayed? What if you fixed him instead of breaking him further? While he was still torn in his desire to keep himself together in front of you, a bigger part of him screamed to let go. He needed to tell you.

“It's…. I'm suffering from the Hanahaki disease…”

He replied, his voice barely above a whisper. The words hung heavily in the air as he braced himself for your reaction, knowing that the truth could change everything between them.

You sighed. "I- what? That disease is a myth. you couldn't possibly have it..."

Gojo's heart ached at your disbelief, yet he couldn't blame you. But before he could bring himself to say something more to convince you, another cough erupted from his chest. He brought his hand up to his mouth and coughed into it. His shoulders sagged and shrunk due to the force of the coughs. You took a step closer and rubbed his back in a gentle up-and-down motion to calm him down. His throat burned, screamed as he coughed out more blood and jasmines.

As his coughing fit reduced, his breathing came out deep and ragged. His chest burned and heaved as he tried to catch his breath.

"I wish it was a myth...", he said weakly. "But it's real..."

Your gaze drifted to the hand he had previously coughed into. His porcelain-white skin was now covered in deep red blood. You grabbed his wrist and gently pried open his fist. His hand revealed a few jasmine flowers covered in blood. You gasped loudly as panic and dread settled into your chest. "How did this- Who do you-? What?"

Gojo sighed shakily. He placed both his palms on the counter and took slow deep breaths to calm his racing heart while you continued to gently stroke his back. After his breathing slowed down and air filled his lungs again, he tried to speak once more. "It's... I can't tell you who it is...", he whispered, his voice came out hoarse and raspy.

You scoffed at his words. "Satoru, you have to tell me. Maybe its not too late, maybe you can still fix this!", you said with urgency.

Gojo sighed heavily. He shifted a bit and leaned against the bathroom counter. "I... It's you...", he said. His voice was so soft, you missed what he said.

"What?"

He cleared his throat again. "It's- It's you... I love you. I love you. I love you", he said, his voice just a little louder this time. He'd finally done it. He'd torn his beating heart out of his chest and placed it in front of you. It was yours. His heart was always yours. Yours to break, yours to keep, yours to love. But Gojo knew that he would even accept pain and rejection if it came from you. Only because it was you who was giving it to him.

You froze. Your brain screeched to a halt as you tried to process his words. Your eyes blew wide. You couldn't believe what you'd just heard. Though you knew that deep down, that was exactly what you wanted hear.

'He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me", you repeated in your head, over and over again.

Ever since you met him, you spent a significant amount of time trying to figure out Gojo Satoru. Trying to understand what went on in his head. Being the strongest couldn't be easy right? You'd always wanted to pry him open and see him for who he really was. And now, here he was, right in front of you, covered in blood and jasmine petals. Raw, vulnerable. In that moment, there was so much you had to say. So much you had to tell him, ask him. You wanted to know him.

"Me?", you repeated in disbelief. You looked into his eyes, searching for a sign of dishonesty, that he was lying to you. There's no way anyone could love someone else to the point of almost dying right? But when you gazed into his soft, vulnerable eyes, you found nothing but sincerity, honesty and just pure love. And that's when realization slammed into you. All the things he did for you, making time even when he was clearly exhausted, remembering the smallest things about you, that you don't even remember mentioning in front of him. Friends don't do that. Nobody does that casually. When you looked back to the time you spent with him, you remembered how his eyes would soften just a little. After all, you were the only one privileged enough to see them. His cerulean blue eyes, that he revealed from the blindfold just for you. He did a lot of talking with his eyes.

You remembered the softness in his voice that appeared only with you. The happy, funny facade that he put up in front of others became genuine only in front of you. The shrillness of his fake laugh, that morphed into something more genuine with you. You could always tell the difference, at least on some level. But you never thought much about it until now.

Before you could think about what you were doing, you leaned in towards him and gently placed you lips on his. You didn't move an inch. You could taste the metal on his lips. You just stood there, very still and suddenly very aware that you were kissing him.

Gojo's breath hitched in his throat. He didn't understand what was happening until he felt your lips move against his. His knees almost gave in as he placed on hand on the counter to stabilize himself. His heart hammered in his chest. It almost fell out of his chest and splayed itself in front of you. That's when he felt a small glint of hope rise in him. Did you really love him back? After all this time, did you really reciprocate?

Gojo always thought he'd be okay with you not feeling the same way. That he could always love you silently and that it would be enough for him. But he'd also be lying if he didn't admit that he always thought about what it would be like to openly love you. To call himself yours. He always called himself yours, but admitting it in front of you would be totally different. In the quiet of the night when he couldn't sleep, he'd curl up underneath the sheets and think about how warm and comfortable he'd be if he had you here with him. He fantasized about having you in his arms. About holding you and showering you with all the love you deserved. If there was one thing he promised himself, it would be to always love you. And to always call himself yours.

He slowly pulled away from the kiss. His face was still very close to yours, your lips connected with a small string of saliva. He didn't know what to say, or what to do.

"I love you", you both said simultaneously.

Gojo took a moment to process your words. His heart stopped beating in his chest. He couldn't believe what he'd just heard.

"I love you.", you repeated softly.

Ever since Gojo found out he had the disease, he'd felt a tight knot in his chest. Shoko said it was because the flowers were growing in his chest at a rapid pace. Something about how the intensity of his feelings determines how fast the flowers grew. But now, he felt that tight knot in his chest loosen up. He could feel it unravel. He took a deep breath, and the ache in his throat seemed to lighten up.

You loved him.

When it finally hit him that you loved him back, he realized what was happening. He realized that the flowers that grew in his chest were disappearing. His chest started to grow lighter. You were right. It wasn't too late. You loved him back, and that made him feel over the moon. His heart thumped loudly in his chest and his throat opened up. He was still feeling a little weak, but he didn't care.

He closed up the remaining space between the two of you and pressed his lips against yours. One arm encircled your waist while the other on the back of your head. He kissed you softly and with love. You placed both your hands on his neck and pulled him closer, kissing him back with a lot of heavy emotions. He softly kissed your lips and the tightness in chest disappeared completely when he felt your love through the kiss.

You then slowly pulled away. "Satoru? Do you feel-"

"Yeah... yeah I do. My chest feels lighter. I think... I think it's gone now.", he whispered with a small smile on his lips. His blue eyes shined under the warm lights of the bathroom.

"Good. That's good. Because I'm never letting go again.", you whispered against his lips before reaching up and kissing him again.

Gojo could feel his lips against yours. He felt the way they were perfectly slotted against his. Like they were meant to be there. To kiss him. He knew you were standing on your toes and craning you head up to kiss him, so hooked one arm under your knees and another around your waist and lifted you up. He held you close to him, because that was where you were supposed to be. He smiled softly against your lips at the feeling of you pressed up against him. Your body perfect slotted against his chest. He kissed you back with all the love and affection in the world. Love reserved just for you. And it was perfect.

(He smiled like a school girl the entire week after that.)

~

-AND WE'RE DONEEEEEEEEEEEEE

-WAAAAAARRRR ISSS OOOOOOOOVERRRR

-I had so much fun writing this!!!! Tell me if you liked it or not!

taglist!

@thesunxwentblack @reixtsu @ermbehindyou @sa4vvyyt @noveltyandnoir1 @jinjen @do-morochaa

[midnight-in-town]

(I tried to respond, but half of it was missing, so let my try again) Thank you very much for your response! :) First, let me clarify a few general things: 1. *Not knowing* what an item means to another person doesn't allow anyone to mindlessly and carelessly destroy it (particularly for such small reasons). Furthermore, such behavior reflects a very immature and selfish approach. She could've *asked* him why he doesn't want to wear the "cute" ring, but she instantly went into a temper tantrum and acted violently. 2. I didn't use this one incident (nor the Campania events) to defend other BB fans' opinions of her being "worthless and annoying". She surely isn't worthless. 3. Also, I don't think that viewing her behavioral patterns as clear indicator for her love for Ciel is a flawless train of thoughts. She does love *R.Ciel*, she does want *R.Ciel* to be happy, she does care about *R.Ciel's* wellbeing, but she quickly turns against O.Ciel when others point her to the fact that he's the spare, the weak twin, the boy no-one wanted to see in a leading position, and not "her" R.Ciel. Again: She could've *asked* O.Ciel what exactly happened, but she rather went into another temper tantrum (running away, trying to battle Seb, not wanting to return to O.Ciel, etc.) and even sided with R.Ciel (and UT) after innocent people got brutally killed and O.Ciel came home only to be kicked out of the mansion. 4. I do know what R.Ciel said to her (his fear of "strong women" afer the fencing lessons as children), but to make that a lifelong guideline that basically forces a person to lessen themselves in order to adapt to a truly misogynistic ideal is, imo, naive. And again, she could've *talked* to him about it right there, right then. (5. and 6. seem to have to be sent seperately to go through, sorry!) 5. Of course it's all the Undertaker's fault (a character that I perceive as highly problematic) when we look at what happened on the Campania (and also many things before and after that). He didn't tell her to act that way, though. That was *her* decision, based on her personality, her indoctrination, her obsession with everything "cute". Now, 6. and with the following I'll close my response to you since it's becoming a very extensive exchange that seems to stray from the *actual point* I attempted to make: When I replied to you, I wasn't even trying to debate Lizzie. I was replying to you because you seemed to use the word misogynist/misogynistic like an umbrella term to negatively brand everyone who voices some kind of antipathy for specific behavior. I, for one, can't and don't want to speak for *everyone*, but I can speak for myself, and I can assure you that, whether it's a boy/man, girl/women, or anyone else who behaves like that, I would feel and say the same things about *them*. In fact, it baffles me that people would actually think that such an attitude and mindset *must* be assigned to girls/women only and, consequently, everyone who isn't smitten by such an attitude and mindset *must* be a misogynist. *That* is what I was trying to tell you - that *it isn't so*. No-one is a misogynist (*or* a misandrist!!) for not liking a certain type of personality in people. To make certain traits something *typical for girls/women* or *typical for boys/men* is a much bigger problem in real life than saying: "Ah, Lizzie, umm, nah... ". ;)

@mivolisacb thanks for the convo ! I'll try to keep my answer short. :)

Points 1, 4 and 5 : I think you should really take in consideration just how old she is in both examples. Again, with respect, but it sounds like you never met or interacted with kids from a similar age range and it could be why you're trying to push for a more mature behavior, that is actually valid with adults but not with a kid or teenager.

Talking to real!Ciel about "being hurt or fearing to be rejected" when she was 7 or 8 years old ? I've met kids who would throw up or cry just thinking of going to school from the same age range, because someone told them their hair cut was ugly or their name was dumb. This situation needed an adult's guiding advice, to defuse it, which probably didn't happen because #plot.

As for ch2 : teenagers throwing a fit is not uncommon or unheard of, so Lizzie simply throwing the ring is indeed childish/immature. However, the ring broke because it was already weakened, as we saw when real!Ciel took it from Vincent's corpse, so the fact she never meant to break it should be taken in consideration, in my opinion.

All that to say : genuine awe to you if you behaved properly when you were upset at 14 years old, it sure wasn't my case and not the case of many other kids. :) This doesn't mean bad behavior should be accepted, mind you ! but a little context (i.e brain maturity happens at 25 years old in most people) always helps to limit bias. :)

And when it comes to the Campania, she got scared and thought she could avoid revealing her "shameful secret", up till her life and Ciel's really were in danger. Again, it takes immense courage to make the choice she did, as I explained in the previous post, so I'd focus on that rather than chastising her for taking some time to make that decision...

...as Edward also remarked, within the narrative. :)

Point 3 : I've discussed her attitude from ch144 and where her narrative is headed at length, so you can either check the chapter tag or her own tag, for my opinion on this. :) For the record : while I agree we shouldn't view her behavioral patterns as clear indicator for her love for Ciel as a flawless train of thought (to quote you), I disagree with pretty much everything else.

Currently, in my opinion, she's caught between doing her duty (as real!Ciel's fiancée) and following her heart (because she genuinely loves our!Ciel). And again, she's 14 or 15, so she has to process how badly she feels about 1) being betrayed and 2) imagining that she could have had heartless thoughts if our!Ciel hadn't lied 4 years ago.

To wonder about why our!Ciel did it, it will take for her head to clear up, or most likely it will take the help of her mother or of Edward.

Lastly, I'd agree on calling her selfish if she had casted the blame on our!Ciel entirely, rather than thinking she was awful to imagine that she would have been harsh to him, if he hadn't lied about his identity.

Point 6 : it is absolutely possible, to quote you, that I "use the word misogynist/misogynistic like an umbrella term to negatively brand everyone who voices some kind of antipathy for specific behavior". I'm quite involved IRL with several fields that have big examples of systemic societal abuse towards women, which comes down to the simply proved fact that misogyny kills women (and patriarchy hurts both men and women), so I can indeed be gung-ho when it comes to defending fictional girls. :)

However, beyond that, I really think this is about accepting to take context in consideration, otherwise this creates a biased POV that gives me the impression that, no matter what she does, Lizzie will always be in the wrong for you.

Again, I don't mind whether you like her or not. Unlike you though, narratively and realistically, I'm of the opinion that Yana is doing exceptionally well with her writing of Lizzie, as I tried to explain, because there is context, because Lizzie feels remorse when she's acting out (which indicates that she isn't selfish, contrarily to what you seem to think), because she is exactly what you'd expect a girl of her age & her circumstances to be battling inwardly about, so it works for me. :)

Anyway, the point of my blog is indeed to have positive exchange, so we can agree to disagree. :) Thanks for the discussion and have a good day !

I love to remember fondly how fans, pre-Campania arc, used to call Lizzie out for being an annoying and weak little girl, even though we've had evidence of how much of a little reckless rascal she is in the story since basically ch2

^ Like coming to visit Ciel every now and then without telling her mom...

^ Or attending one of Druitt's parties all on her own (we don't see Paula at all), despite Frances canonically strongly disliking Druitt's type xD

The way I see this :

either Frances has to battle every now and then with her 14 year old teenage daughter who constantly leaves home on her own whenever she feels like it,

or Frances 100% trusts her girl and her fencing skills and doesn't care about where Lizzie goes, as long as Lizzie isn't arrested by Scotland Yard or something

Considering other examples like the Campania arc or the start of the Blue Sect arc, or even how Yana describes Lizzie seeing her mom as a role model, I'd strongly bet on the latter.

Last but not least, I think it's very funny that, before the Campania, whenever Ciel asks Liz 'does your mom even know you're here ?!', Liz answering 'nope' implies that 1) Frances doesn't know for sure where her daughter is but 2) is 100% ok when finding out that she is having a sleepover at Ciel's manor.

And also, it's even more hilarious to notice that, after the Campania, Ciel doesn't even bother anymore asking if Frances knows where Liz is (like in ch107), as if to say "yeah okay she can take care of herself, alright".

Meanwhile Ed doesn't have the right to be in a boy's band