#what a horrible way to live
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god. god. god
#i feel like the black sheep carrying more relationship trauma than anyone else#yet passing most easily as the normal well adjusted person#god. it just#it really just feels like im in a completely different world here with them#having to learn their language and customs brand new#im so used to insane and stupid fucking relationships that this feels alien#like i really do not at all understand what its like for them to feel things they do or#for them to feel the way they do about me#i just simply cant comprehend it#i cant understand it. its so different.#intimacy makes most sense to me when its literally the rawest most stressful form you can imagine#witnessing someone in their most vulnerable moments and them trusting you with it#or knowing their deepest traumas in detail#or helping them directly with fighting their demons past or present#i hate this language ive learned but its the only one i know how to speak.#i only feel something when it rips straight to my core and makes me terrified#only then do i feel affection.. intimacy...#what a horrible way to live#nothing feels real or genuine when it isnt shared from the deepest darkest most wounded part of a person#how much intimacy and emotion and beauty am i missing out on because of this...#i wish i could feel what they do. maybe i will one day.#but right now i just feel numb and sad. and alone.#i dont know how to feel the way others do. i would like to.#i would like for my exchanges to not feel like a performance to compensate for the void inside of me
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heres a crappy venn (??) diagram explaining the dynamics in the tl4j time travel au bc it's easier than trying to write a full plot
#tl4j time travel au#slightly longer ver is cal and ezra have 1. accepted what's happened to them and 2. know tragedy has given them an amazing found family#which they wouldnt have if everything was 'fixed'#and ezra knows from the wbw that changing the past is a Bad idea (which alongside the found family thing cal accepts n agrees w)#but ahsoka cant take her own advice and insists fixing this is Different to the Kanan thing#bc she has not accepted it the same way and her life is soo much more depressing and seeing the live republic reminds her#if she fixed the timeline she'd have her whole family back (bc rn she just has luke) and thered be so much less horrible horrible loss#and luke is the force's specialest boy so he assumes itll all work out great#its basically 'attachments + compassion for those the empire killed' vs 'attachments + acceptance of the world that exists now'#like both 'sides' are going half good jedi ideology and half attachment ig (tho cal n ezra i think have a one-up on jedi-ness of their idea#misc tag#but even tho cal n ahsoka/ ezra n luke have opposed goals theyre the only ones who understand what the other is going thru#so u get fun dynamics as shown by the diagram
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this was what their dr:s interaction was originally gonna be. trust me. i’m mr. danganronpa
(no cuz seriously. how are you gonna have them interact and then forget that hiroko canonically has a bit of a thing for takaaki?) (i say this like the dr:s writers even knew who the other captives were)
#tbh this is similar to how i feel hiroko’s initial flirting attempts with takaaki would go#her trying to stick to her more subtle way of giving him signals and relying on her ‘woman’s charm’ and him just. not getting it (autism)#it’s not like takaaki WASNT interested in her (he admired her determination to help others. and he thought she was very pretty)#but he just had a hard time expressing those feelings. if he ever did.#but anyways. hiroko initially catches onto his way of thinking and changes her approach to something much more straightforward and earnest#* ‘eventually’ not ‘initially’ wtf-#and he’s just like WOAH- where did this come from?? and she’s just like. bro. i’ve been flirting with you this whole time.#like how did you become a detective?? it was so obvious. i’d be more annoyed if i didn’t like you#and then they lived happily ever after the end#i could go into how she didn’t have to rely on what she thinks guys like about her to get him to like her#and how he had constantly been told by everyone that he’s horrible and unworthy of love only to find out that’s not the case in her eyes#and how that kinda fucks with them both. but uhhhhh-#sorry. i didn’t mean for this to become me just rambling about takoko. they’re a cute mom and dad ship what can i say?#also i love kiyotaka and yasuhiro so the step-brother dynamic is very real and very fun#anyways. right fandom tags#danganronpa#kiyotaka ishimaru#hiroko hagakure#takoko#doodlepuff
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just saw the worst take of all time on tiktok......... like fork found in kitchen i know but good god 😑
the idiots on that app are always like "🤓wElL tHe GaMeS hAvE bEeN hApPeNiNg SiNcE tHe 80s🤓" to justify gihun being idiotic to think he could stop them
u dumb bitch GIHUN DOESNT KNOW THAT!!!!
WHY WOULD HE ASSUME THESE FUCKASS GAMES HAVE BEEN HAPPENING FOR DECADES????
HE LITERALLY ONLY FOUND THEY WEREN'T A ONE-TIME THING WHEN HE SAW THE SALESMAN IN THE SUBWAY AGAIN!!!!
ARE YOU BRAINLESS??? ARE YOU A CLOWN??? ARE YOU DEVOID OF BASIC EMPATHY???

#if u seriosuly tell me that u would WILLINGLY let hundreds of people DIE instead of helping them in any way you can#then i'm sorry but you're a horrible person#gayeong was safe and healthy with her mother in the usa#gihun didn't leave her in a rabies-infested sewer to live with the rats; she is with her very competent mother#and i'd say him “”“”abandoning“”“” his daughter is indictative that gihun doesnt believe he is essential to her happiness and wellbeing#he believes she's better off without him in her life especially bc the last time she saw him he was punching her stepfather in the face#ALSO he wasn't a shitty father - he was struggling with ptsd and a gambling addiction#i think most people who say he was horrible have no idea what addiction can do to a person#gihun saw his friend die in front of him ofc he's traumatized and this is before he saw another TWO close friends die before his eyes#as well as a girl he considered a daughter and hundreds of strangers some whose deaths gihun was involved in (tug of war game)#squid game#seong gi-hun#seong gihun#seong gi hun#seong ga-yeong#yapping 4ever#meta
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So I'm replaying Ray's After ending rn, and it got me thinking that what I adore so much about Rika as an antagonist is just how damn scary she can be. I always found those who cause harm with good intentions (at least in their point of view) much scarier than those who hurt you with pure intention on hurting you. I think the best example of it is this CG in particular:

Look at that. Such a loving, gentle expression on her face. Probably kissing his forehead. Because she loves him. Heck, without any context, this CG looks even sweet, if you think about it. And yet, all that is while Saeyoung is forcefully sedated on a powerful concoction of drugs even a trained agent like him can't do anything about (and Saeyoung WAS definitely trained to deal with this sort of thing, hence it's mentioned that this is a 'special' kind of drugs). He looks miserable. Bags under his eyes, his expression pained and troubled, even his hair is paler than usual. All that as a direct result of her actions. But she's utterly blind to it. What's scarier, is that she knowingly shuts off her understanding of what's really happening. She's not oblivious to it at all. She just chooses not to see it that way. Simply because she doesn't want to.
Rika is the type of antagonist that will cup your cheek into her warm hand with the most loving of smiles on her face, all while you are getting elixir poured down your throat. Even whispering to you that you're doing great, that the pain will soon pass, and that she can't wait to see you reach the happiness she knows you deserve. I won't be surprised if she even cried genuine tears of compassion during some ceremonies for her believers. All while being the sole reason behind their suffering.
And that's... God, that's terrifying to me. I love that about her.
Rika Kim, they could never make me hate you
#mystic messenger#mysmes#mysme#mm#rika kim#kim rika#anyways ughhh she's so messed up i adore her#yes i will think about cute fluffy scenarios with her one minute and then go into her most horrible of actions the next#like it's such a contrast to all the rest as well#ray gets as close to her as possible in terms of his approach to messed up deeds but it's still different with him#like ray genuinely believes in what he does - good and bad#rika conditioned him that way#suit even points that out: 'oh i'm not like that airhead. i know this place is messed up.'#rika on the other hand? it's the way she willfully just... chooses to live in her own twisted fairytale that is so fascinating to me#it makes her scarier than ray but it also makes her more unstable#because once that fairytale of her is threatened? well she gets even more dangerous but in a completely different way#we literally see her spiraling more and more during v route and it's as scary as it is also sad#just saying: v ae could have been such a banger if they didn't absolutely mess it up#i think i despite judgement ending more than anything else in the game for so many reasons#if cheritz had the backbone they would have either removed it altogether or remastered v's ae for free I'M JUST SAYING#because what the hell was that#anyway#rant over#i wrote a huge post about how much i love rika while i am actively biting my nails every time she touches the twins BUT I LOVE THAT WITH HE#YES give me a character i keep feeling so many conflicting emotions for i will gobble that up
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Sophie Oliveira-Shepard Alenko-Oliveira and Kaidan Alenko-Oliveira - ME3 (2/?) "I want to be your strength. Your soft place to land." Mass Effect 3: Legendary Edition (2021) + Bonus
#mira makes gifs ✨#sophie shepard#kaidan alenko#shenko#mass effect#mass effect 3#me3#dailygaming#otp: you’re real enough for me#heyyyy i’m back with more shenko content bc these two live rent free in my brain :)#you know how i always say ‘this is coolest shit i’ve ever made’ well guess what this is my favorite set i’ve ever made :)#this is my favorite cutscene in ME3 and probably all of mass effect and no one can change that#the way that they look at each other? the softness? the gentle touches? rent. free.#those last four gifs? my favorite 4 seconds in mass effect#soph having horrible nightmares and insomnia throughout her life is very canon so this cutscene is everything to me#it's something about the hurt/comfort of it all. it resonates so well with them. it's spawned so much of their characterization for me :)#i thought about dialogue relating to something non-reaper related but i just wanted the gifs to do the talking this time#the little like half second blurry shot of the picture frame was part of the inspiration for this set :)#it was too important to me to NOT render something out to put in the picture frame by their bed :) and it was going to be on inta’sei#but then i settled for a mission on illium that takes place between ME1/ME2 that’s just the two of them that i will pen out as a oneshot#at some point™️ the render inspired a great many ideas for it. and i had to do a bonus to get a better look at it ;)#i’ll probably throw the actual piece up in the future lol but it was nice seeing it in game :) and kaidan’s tattoos and his piercings :)#it ain’t a mira gifset unless i do something slightly convoluted to show off little pieces of canon :)#thanks for listening to my mini rant :) have a good day like always friend 💙
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continuation? of this comic from earlier~
there are two reasons why I keep drawing them as these gods:
They really do have to do with them. That isn't even a speculation for me at this point, it's something so obvious
I can draw them all lovey-dovey and wholesome I want, because the gods seem to get along really well ;v;) it'd be out of character to draw them otherwise
and mythology is interesting~
#oshi no ko#hikaai#hikaru kamiki#ai hoshino#oshi no ko spoilers#doodle#spoilers#I don't really agree with the way this manga handles things but#what I can give credit for is how they got very creative with taking elements from the myths and recreating/incorporated them#that's something I'd like to do with my original works in the future#idk about hikaru(actually I do) but his god counterpart; I think he'd have been a great spouse honestly#amenozume really did choose the best guy the way I see it? maybe I don't know enough but I felt that way after researching a bit#and ofc she's really cute and lovely and better yet- upfront and courageous#THAT'S WHY HIKARU'S ALL LIKE “I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU” IN THE SONGS~!~ HOW CAN HE BE SANE LOSING A LOVER LIKE THAT IN THAT HORRIBLE WAY#I get frustrated at how ambiguous this comic is but Ai's death ISN'T HIS FAULT...he wanted her back!!!! he went crazy bc he missed her okay
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magic in asoiaf is genetic. and that is intresting. and the fact that grrm doesn’t shy away from the implications of this makes me love asoiaf even more.
because it’s very understandable that these people who could ride dragons would see themselves as more gods than men. it’s understandable that the practice of sibling-sibling incest would become common in order to keep this ability in the family/to not lose said ability. it’s also understandable that these people would see their race as superior because they are able to do these things that others could not.
it also makes complete sense that this human civilization collapsed in a horrific magical event due to their own hubris because they saw themselves as gods when they were always only men.
and that is peak world building.
some more peak world building is that the noble houses of westeros also clearly gained power and held onto their power through the use of their magical abilities inherited from their ancestors.
a godlike existence like Garth the Green being the ancestor of all the oldest and most noble of the reach houses makes perfect sense for this world!and it also makes sense that the lords without this ancestry are discriminated against in this region that still holds onto the values their society cultivated in the past in order to maintain their magical superiority, even though most of these noble and old houses no longer exhibit these abilities.
and it also makes sense that these people no longer have access to these abilities as they no longer practice the religion that was centered around these powers; plus their blood is simply diluted at this point as these houses have married into a different ethnic group so often that the magical gene just doesn’t surface anymore.
but the fact that it still matters if you can trace your ancestry back to Garth the Green? peak! peak! peak!
george does such an excellent job showcasing the stagnation of westerosi society here because why should it matter if you’re connected to this magic guy if magic is no longer commonplace? however, it also makes total sense that the ruling class of the reach still harps on and on about this as it’s how they maintain the status quo and differentiate themselves from those they consider lesser now that they no longer have access to magic themselves.
and this is also why it’s very important that the Starks still retain the blood of the first men. because the first men interbred with the children of the forest and other elder races, which is what gave these humans these powers. it’s also worth noting that before the direwolves connected with the Stark children, none of our current Starks were able to awaken their abilities by themselves, which shows that even now they are very far removed from their ancestor who’s genetic makeup gave this bloodline these abilities. and it makes sense that the Starks experienced this slow magical decline because magic itself was declining in the world after the doom of valyria.
another reason for this decline is because Andal culture started heavily influencing the North and slowly changed the way magic was perceived. so now in the present, a warg/skinchanger/greenseer has become something to fear being because that’d make you different and therefore puts your life at risk, which means that there’s now practically no safe environment to cultivate these abilities and no secure way to pass down any knowledge you do have about said abilities.
i can’t help but be reminded about how Jon Snow has rejected his nature and how that has led to the stagnation of his abilities, and then i think about Arya and Bran and how their new environments have led to an astonishing growth in their abilities, which shows that it’s not just genetics that matter, environment is also just as, if not more, important.
i bring all of this up because magic being genetic in asoiaf is not as problematic as people try to make it out as. in real life, sometimes people just have genetic gifts. some people can become olympians, and some people are disabled. some people are born 10 times smarter than the average human, and some people believe that covering their faces in lemon juice would turn them invisible. that is reality. and in this universe, some people have access to magic and some don’t, and it’s all based on genetics. it’s unfair! and that makes it realistic.
not everyone gets to ride dragons and not everyone gets to travel back in time, and that grounds asoiaf, which is what grrm was going for.
and how these societies have organized themselves in response to these genetic abilities and the dangers they pose makes absolute sense. on one hand we have the valyrian freehold, which was a magic hotspot and the people who lived there used magic to propel their society to new heights, and on the other hand we have the seven kingdoms that demonize anyone too different, and all magic practitioners are different from normal humans.
and the fact that george decided to go this route with asoiaf is so juicy to me cause:
we have characters like Varamyr and Euron who use their abilities to commit great evils and we know that their powers have influenced the way they see and interact with others. on the other hand we have characters like Dany who use their abilities to fight against evil violent institutions. and through characters like her we learn how vulnerable fledgling magic practitioners/characters with these abilities are to these older and more dangerous institutions and individuals who are perfectly aware about the knowledge gap between them and these younger characters and know exactly how to exploit them.
so, while it’s understandable that the fandom is uncomfy with the practices and values that grrm has written about, this isn’t bad world building by any means. it’s logical and well thought out. and i truly enjoy that grrm doesn’t shy away from writing about the more worrying aspects and implications of magic being a matter of genetics. i also like how the seven kingdoms and the valyrian freehold are kinda extremes on the matter of magic and how this is/was detrimental to both of these societies and at the individual level. a horrific magical firey doom is not any better nor any worse than a slow drawn out icey decline.
imo, what is important to remember is that in the world of asoiaf, people with magic are the ones who are discriminated against (bc most POV characters are in Westeros and magic is a no no there). so they are the ones who are in danger if they out themselves as magic users. now, it is true that some societies are more tolerant (Qarth is a great example of this and Valyria before the doom was likely the most tolerant to have ever existed in this world), but as of now most societies simply aren’t. remember jojens warning? he didn’t pull that out of his ass. bran would’ve been in a lot of danger if he came out and told the wrong people about his dreams/abilities. also, jon’s assassination may have been partly motivated by the mutineers fear of wargs. this is the life-threatening danger magic practitioners are in for simply existing in an intolerant society.
tbh the reason i typed all this up is because it’s very annoying when people try to ignore the reality, which is that the dragonbond depends on genetics. now, i’m sure there are other ways to ride a dragon, as dragons are magical animals so of course there may be a one in a million chance of a dragon allowing some rando to ride it, but this doesn’t change the fact that there is such a thing as a genetic ability that gives these certain humans the ability to form a connection with a dragon.
(another example that i can’t help but remember is that melisandre was able to get ghosts approval by using some of her tricks. of course there could be other reasons for ghost to have done this, but the most likely reason is that ghost simply fell for melisandre’s trick and this influenced how jon saw mel. but this doesn’t change the fact that melisandre will never have the kind of bond jon and ghost have because melisandre is not a warg. this is also another example of how vulnerable fledgling magic practitioners are to older ones.)
so, sorry not sorry that george decided to create a realistic representation of what a society would look like if only certain bloodlines were able to ride dragons <\3.
#this is interesting! it’s juicy! because these are humans with the power of gods!#of course there was a civilization where the elites saw themselves as gods!#of course their powers impacted the way they structured their society!#of course the stagnant westerosi society still holds onto values and practices from hundreds of years ago#…because they once had magical abilities that set them apart. and bc their society is so stagnant they still have these values and practices#…after they lost their magical abilities. and it makes complete sense that these magical abilities were lost!#magic is feared in westeros! anyone with these abilities is othered/an outcast. these inherent powers aren’t cultivated bc this is a society#…that fears and persecutes people with magic! and it makes total sense that this likely began with the arrival of the andals!#anyways magic is genetic ✌️#and it’s so cool that so many people in this universe may not know that they have these powers bc they live in a society that doesn’t care/#doesn’t cultivate said powers. jon snow is literally called a beast by other characters bc they think he’s a warg#westeros is not a safe space for my magical son#i’m ready to fight anyone who disagrees#it’s literally so fucking intresting and i’m glad that george doesn’t shy away from any of it#asoiaf#pro targaryen#asoiaf meta#also let’s not pretend that warging/greenseeing hasn’t been used for horrible things as well#hodor is right there. legends of the nights king show exactly what can happen when a very powerful greenseer is a horrific human#yeah anyways#maybe he wasn’t a greenseer but u get my point (i hope)#asoiaf fandom critical#ppl having issues w/ the dragonbond being genetic has always struck me as odd#but i’d lie if i said i didn’t know where this attitude came from#this whole post is a mess lmao#hopefully i got my point across but i dont rly care to edit 🤷♀️#this is def a word vomit
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dumping AM thoughts in tags
#im gonna be a hater tonight sorry#so many AM designs dont. Represent AM like they should. Itll just be a robot with a tv head or something resembling a human#but like. AM would NOT resemble a human in the slightest. please tell me you read the book#AM would be an uncomfortable and incomprehensible mess of wires and screens. it doesnt move it Crawls and it's metal scrapes on the floor.#whatever could possibly resemble limbs would be too long or abnormally shaped. a mess of wires and scrap metal and circuitry#there is no need for teeth or a jaw. speakers work just fine. no need for noses. robots dont need to smell#there is no need for ears. AM already has enough sensors spanning the world that pick up way too much sound at any given time.#and theres no need for eyes. asides from making the last living subjects uncomfortable. sensors once again work fine#AM is a horrible and messy amalgamation of parts. ever changing and shifiting as mass falls off and is rebuilt.#wires and cables and scrap and pieces scavenged from what little remains of the world. an ouroboros of metal#there is no need for anything remotely human in AM's design. especially when AM literally hates humans.#why would AM go out of it's way to *be* human.#“oh but AM was jealous of humans for their senses” YES but jealousy of SENSES does not equal jealousy of FORM#you ever see those poor cable management pictures that just looks like a conglomerate of wires and switches? THAT is AM .#that is not a human. that is not an animal. that is a machine and it hates.#ihnmaims
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I go back and forth on being understanding and upset that people don't know/forget that Melina's dagger (Blade of Calling) is found in a one-room, guarded, prison that was built inside the elevator lift that goes to a place no one is supposed to go to anymore (Consecrated Snowfields/Forbidden Lands SoG)
And there's this item on a corpse right outside the room
Official's Attire Grubby blue robe worn by magisterial officials to carry out their grim tasks. Surveillance, executions, gruesome rituals... The darkest duties drive the wheels of mankind.
And here's the description for the Blade of Calling
Blade of Calling Dagger given to one who set out on a journey to fulfill her duty long ago. The power of its former owner, the kindling maiden, is still apparent. The one who walks alongside flame, Shall one day meet the road of Destined Death.
We know that Melina was born at the base of the Erdtree, she was given her duty by Marika, and remembers quotes from her mother. And yet she doesn't remember what it's like to have a loving mother
Melina about Boc: "I think he misses his mother. He wants someone to tell him he's beautiful. Does being born of a mother... Mean one behaves in such a manner?"
I also find it interesting that Melina was given this purpose but now is not doing it for Marika, but for herself and she talks a lot about how she wants to see this world change for the better. Ex.:
Melina: However ruined this world has become, however mired in torment and despair, life endures. Births continue. There is beauty in that, is there not?
My own personal theory is that Marika knew that her first daughter was destined to burn the Erdtree and that scared Marika, so she locked her away and Melina died in that room. I know that doesn't explain the burn marks on her skin or why Melina has a claw/talon mark over her closed eye that goes away when we don't use Death/Giant's Flame but Frenzied Flame. And no I do not think Melina is/was the Gloam Eyed Queen.
#melina#roodle talks elden ring#elden ring#shadow of the erdtree#i love her so much#i read her as someone who knows the world needs to change#via a self sacrifice since this is elden ring#and also marika did not want her age to end#and every other tarnished that close to burning the tree couldnt because they felt bad for their maiden#i.e. vyke and bernahl#and so melina knows someone has to kick off the end and that it has to be her after all shes already bodyless#but omg she was locked in a secret room with no light and a person always on guard#and its a nice room but omg what a horrible way to live#always under surveillance
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going from this:

to this:

to THIS:

and then having jason end the series TURNING INTO JOKER is actually fucking crazy
#how could they do this. what writer signed off on this disaster of an ending#this just reinforces all those negative stereotypes that have haunted jason for years#and also it’s really a horrible and typical trope of ‘trauma makes people evil’#also the ending just doesn’t make any sense at all considering the top two pages#they are literally in conversation against the ending therefore undermining the integrity of both#SICK.#IN A BAD WAY#dc comics#tuesday spoilers#wednesday spoilers#batman#jason todd#dc#robin#red hood#batfamily#from the vault: robin lives!#robin lives! spoilers#robin lives!
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"You owe M Night an apology"
Actually, no. We don't.
#avatar the last airbender#natla lb#natla spoilers#like ffs shut up i bet the dumbasses saying that didn't watch shit#like yall pretending that movie wasn't a white washed 99% narrated soulless slow exposy mess is just ridiculously hilarious#just ozai is a 1000% upgrade lmaooooo#no matter what somehow making a slightly defensive remark about that atrocity is embarrassing#like that live action could suck horrible ass (and it doesn't) it still wouldn't make the shyamalan movie passable in ANY WAY
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Saying that Sansa’s rest of the plot is in the Vale is like saying Arya’s rest of of the plot is in Braavos. Hope that helps.
#GET MY GIRL OUT OF THE VALE#what is she doing there?#seriously#fuck this shit#get them both to winterfell asap please#rebuild it together#or don’t#just come home#if I hear one more ‘oh Sansa has too much plot to cover in the Vale to come back to winterfell’#or ‘her plot is being the lady of the vale’#bad faith interpretations have no room in this household#my girl was praying for winterfell all the way back in acok#she went with LF thinking he’s taking her home back to WF#hiding behind horrible half baked theories isn’t going to save you#just come out and admit to yourself that you’re a Sansa hater on the main#and let us block you and live our lives in peace#I am so pissed today#everyday I have to see opinions of people who barely passed 8th grade literature on 3-dimensional women#the vein in my head is having a party#sansa stark#asoiaf#anti sansa antis
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Ahahaaaa oh my goddd can you not make "ADHD undereating" and "ADHD overeating" into a competition of who has it worse and who has nothing to complain about, that'd be awesome
#im not even going to reply to that person im not gonna argue with someone who clearly is fucking#grading my symptoms on if they're as bad as their#guess what i also feel like fucking shit when i overeat and it causes my body a lot of stress#and it fucks with my hormones and it fucks with my mood#and i live a piece of shit horrible terrible life whenever I can't get myself out of that and somehow#but my brain makes me do it and it's hard to stop and sometimes i have to eat even when im in pain#cause that's the only way i can concentrate on something or the only way that i can stimulate my brain#even though i feel sick and I don't want to do it anymore so maybe shut the fuck up#oh my godddd#fuck that person#oh i would take overeating any day maybe shut the fuck upppp#overeating especially on foods that stimulate the brain well PUTS YOU IN THE STATE OF UNDERNUTRITION JUST LIKE UNDEREATING#YOU IDIOTTTTT#sorry this is so personal to me and someone just went on a tirade on how much they have it worse cause they don't eat#good lord go fuck yourself#that post was just because i never see anyone talk about this i only ever see the other side of the coin and it makes me feel alone
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speaking of. would cats like Blackclaw and Greenflower and other members TigerClan fandom be sent to Dark Forest? or have a trial? or would they somehow repent enough in life during Mistystar's regin (im pressing x to doubt that though)?
i want Stonefur, Primrosepaw and Pikepaw to personally roundhouse kick Blackclaw, but i can understand if they would want to stay away from him too (at least the kids. Stonefur should be the first to throw.. a stone.)
A lot of them are going to get recruited, even if they may have won a trial. Those who die in the WindClan Civil War willl get damned immediately; StarClan is FURIOUS that trecherous rebels in other Clans tried to take advantage of the political situation.
Mudclaw the Hypocrite, who accuses Onestar of being a puppet of outside influences, promised power to a RiverClan warrior in exchange for mercenaries to brutalize his own Clanmates. HELL! Hell for ALL of them!
Those that survive probably don't have enough time to make up for it. They would also have been supportive of TigerClan, so they're earmarked already. Even those who didn't throw their weight behind the Civil War have quite the tally of sins to manage.
(And... at least one of them, I'm unsure of who, were involved in the "disappearences" of Primrosepaw and Pikepaw. Whoever they are, StarClan will not hold a trial nor send a fetcher. They can find their own way to the Dark Forest, without even a Sharing of Stars to fix their mortal wounds.)
Also for the record let me just clarify something; StarClan judges based on if you are "worthy" of joining them. They do rule in neutral-favor for an unremarkable warrior, but if your life is enough of a question to trigger a Trial at all, you are guilty until proven innocent.
More specifically, "unworthy" until proven worthy. StarClan Trials are not held with "fairness" as a value.
#Duckfur is probably going to be fine though#Xey're persuasive and live the rest of xeir life in 'repentance'.#(Not really repentance but the political tide changes and it's no longer the most convenient option to support Thistle Law)#(But xey sure can make a good enough case to pass it off as such)#I like Ducky lmao.#Though I can absolutely see xem being tempted to join the civil war...#Not as readily as xeir sister Green though. Green is just waiting for an excuse to stab kill murder#Duck meanwhile is thinking about how fuckint awful life under Tiger was and calculating what the best way to Not Die Horribly is#Better bones au#BB!TNP
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I could write a whole essay about how Victor Vale and Kell Maresh are two sides of the same coin, opposites yet somehow similar when it comes to their relationship with pain
#kell maresh#victor vale#adsom#vicious#to be fair I have not read Vengeful yet so idk if that adds some key details to this topic or not but#Victor basically died a horribly painful death and then came back to never feel any again#it was by his own decision out of curiosity and hunger for power and foolishness but oh it was agonising#so much so that it irrevocably marked the rest of his life#Kell suffered an injury because of sheer bad luck just an unlucky turn of events while trying to save the whole world#and he spent the next seven years in unbearable pain any time he tried to use his power#he saved someone he loved and defied the laws of life itself to do it because he could not bear to lose that person#and in exchange forever lives with experiencing not only his own pain but that of that other person too#books#shrews ramblings#here I listed more the ways in which they're opposites but you see#they're the same in how pain shaped them both#pain does things to you that don't always pass when the feeling itself is over#idk idk I'm emotional about them#actions and consequences and the cruel hand of fate#and what it means to be human and what it means to be rid of the thing that made you who you are#hmmm for Victor 'he came back to never feel any pain again' is per se inaccurate but you get what I mean!!!#he has complete control over pain#both his own and that of others#Kell has none
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