#i could go into how she didn’t have to rely on what she thinks guys like about her to get him to like her

[staylovesmiley]

Give Me Your TMI~ Chapter 3

˚⊹ᰔ Pairing; Yang Jeongin x Fem!reader, Stray kids x Fem!reader

₊˚⊹ᰔ ₊˚⊹ᰔ Summary; In a world where Humans and Hybrids should be living as equals, Hybrids are still viewed as being closer to their animalistic side than their humanistic. Deep in the woods lives a band of misfit hybrids who reject these societal views and keep to themselves, choosing to live away from humans. What happens when the youngest of this rogue group meets a lost Human girl, befriending her after an incident where he must rely on her for help?

₊˚⊹ᰔ ₊˚⊹ᰔ ₊˚⊹ᰔ Warnings; hybrid!au, female!reader, angst, mild violence, mentions of sexual harassment/assault and discrimination, she/her pronouns used for reader, this is very loosely based off the overall themes/tones of the manga and anime fruits basket~

Over the next couple of days you worked on getting your strength back, eating whatever it was Minho brought you as you slowly began moving from broth to stew and stew then paired with bread. You started walking around the room with one of the hybrids’ assistance, usually Jeongin as the fox had yet to leave your side unless he was ordered to by Minho.

Occasionally you could hear the others outside the small bedroom, Felix and Jisung having informed you that there were eight hybrids in total living in the cabin.

You had yet to meet them but you would always listen closely when you heard them outside, wondering if any of them would ever come to meet you. One night you had asked Minho about it after he brought you your dinner, frowning softly at the question of why they hadn’t come to see you as you ate your meal. Minho had answered with a sigh.

“Some of us aren’t very trusting of humans I’m afraid…honestly I’m shocked our Innie warmed up to you as easily as he did.” You raised an eyebrow at the mention of the fox who had been no less than ordered to go help one of the other hybrids, Hyunjin, with the laundry.

“How come? I mean he doesn’t seem to be afraid of me…” He gave you a smile that was all too cat-like as a soft purr rumbled in his chest. “I’ll let him tell you on his own, but our Ayen didn’t have the best upbringing and the humans he has met up to you were less than unkind. You just seem to be the exception, I guess.”

The conversation was left there, and it wasn’t until the third day since you had woken up that you got to meet another member of their family.

“Alright, not to say you smell or anything but I think it’s time you got a bath young lady.” Minho laughed, hands on his hips as he had just finished helping you walk around the room. You were fine now, able to fully walk on your own but they still insisted on holding onto you regardless. You appreciated their help but it was starting to feel like they were babying you a bit too much. “Uh, okay- that’s fine with me.” As you stood, the cat shook his head and called for Jeongin. “Innie, would you be a dear and help our pretty here with her bath?”

The youngest gawked a bit, looking between Minho and yourself before nodding eagerly and walking to where you were sat. “Guys, seriously isn’t this a bit excessive? I can bathe myself just fi-“ The fox hybrid scooped you up in his arms, carrying you bridal style and causing a blush to fan across your face from just how strong he was.

Minho smirked, eyeing the two of you for a minute before shrugging. “It’s just a precaution. You did almost die, ya know…best to air on the side of caution.”

With a sigh you allowed Jeongin to carry you out of the room and down the hall towards the bathroom. This was the first time since you had woken up that you left Jeongin’s room and you curiously looked around the space to take everything in just as you had when you first woke up in the small bedroom.

The house seemed oddly vacant, though assumed the other hybrids were away tending to their chores as Jeongin had explained to you one afternoon.

Minho and Felix took care of the cabin, any cleaning or cooking fell to them.

Hyunjin and Changbin kept up with the laundry and tended to their garden, harvesting and planting depending on the season.

Han was tasked with taking care of the chicken coop they had tucked at the back of the cabin as well as climbing high up in the trees to look out for any suspicious activity in the skies like planes or helicopters that could be getting too close and possibly spotting them living out on the mountain.

Chan, Seungmin, and himself were tasked with patrolling the surrounding forest in look out for anyone lurking around their territory. Anyone like yourself, he told you with a fond smile on his face.

Since you had come to stay with them Jeongin had been tasked with looking after you, with Minho’s instruction, and for the meantime Chan and Seungmin had divided their territory into halves instead of thirds to make up for the loss. You felt guilty taking him from such an important task even though Minho had teased that it was supposed to be a punishment to the fox for disobeying their leader’s orders.

Still, if you had taken better care of yourself then they wouldn’t have had to take you under their care in the first place.

You had no clue why Chan had let you stay, Jeongin having told you one night while you ran your fingers through his hair as the both of you drifted off to sleep, that their family head had the worst history of them all with humans. If he was so distrustful of your kind then why did he allow you to stay for this long, even if you were ill, you wondered.

From what you could see on your short trip from the youngest’s room to the bathroom you saw a glimpse of the kitchen, a small living area with well worn couches and arm chairs, and a few doors scattered about that could be other bedrooms as well as closets and such.

Before you could continue your exploration of everything within your line of vision Jeongin’s walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind you both with his foot before gently setting you down atop the closed toilet seat. “Just give me a few minutes to get the bath drawn, yeah?” He spoke softly, blushing a bit at the thought of seeing you bare once more.

On the night he had brought you to the cabin they had dressed you in some of his clothes after your temperature had finally warmed up, the youngest having insisted it be his own clothes even though something of Felix or Jisung’s probably would have been a better fit. The smell of you covered in his scent caused pride to swell in his chest and seeing the way they hung off your frame now made him feel a little dizzy and like his heart could beat out of his chest.

“Innie I could have done all this myself, you know- I don’t want to be a burden…” your voice got smaller towards the end, hesitant as if speaking those words would make it true. The fox loved how you had taken to calling him by the same nicknames as his Hyungs. It was one thing whenever they would call him something so endearing but to come from you was a whole new story. Blush crept up the back of his neck and painted his cheeks as he shook his head, keeping his gaze to where the warm water slowly filled the claw footed tub. “It’s fine, really. I um…I like taking care of you, if that’s okay? Since I don’t really have any other job now due to punishment it makes me feel helpful.” His words warmed your heart and caused you to see things in a different light, comforted knowing that even if the others didn’t agree at least your dear friend Mr.fox didn’t feel like you were becoming too much to handle.

Once the bath was drawn and Jeongin had poured in some of the epsom salts they kept under the sink he turned away as you stripped yourself down before lowering yourself into the water. You hissed lightly at the temperature as you had become so accustomed to bathing in the icy waters of the river by your camp. “Too hot?” The fox hybrid questioned, still keeping his back to you. “No, not at all. Feels really nice.” You hummed, submerged up to your collar bones in the water before pulling your knees up to your chest to give yourself some sort of privacy. “Y-You can turn around if you’d like?”

Jeongin slowly turned back to face you, struggling to keep his breathing even as he came to sat on the floor beside the tub and rest his chin on the edge. “You know I’ve never seen a girl before….human or hybrid. Not before that day at the river-“ you gasped, seem just then remembering how the fox had stared at you from the trees as you took your time drying off, not realizing that it wasn’t just a wild animal watching you. “Oh you pervy little fox!” You teased with a giggle, lightly flicking water at his face and causing him to laugh as he pulled away. “I-I didn’t mean to stare I was just- it was new okay? I was curious-“ the hybrid tried to defend himself though he could tell you weren’t actually upset with him over the encounter.

As you sat in the bath you allowed the hybrid to carefully wet your hair before gently massaging shampoo onto your scalp. You let out a soft groan at the feeling, eyes closed and head tilted back slightly as he worked the suds in thoroughly. You both feel into a peaceful silence as he rinsed your hair before repeating his actions once more.

You were relaxed, feeling safe in the young fox’s care when suddenly the door swung open causing both of you to jump and whip around to see who the intruder could be.

Your eyes met and you could feel the energy shift as your gaze locked with the beagle hybrid. His hair was a soft chocolate brown with floppy ears to match, his eyes soft though full of fear as he looked at you with his hands still clutching the door handle so tight that his knuckles turned white and his white tipped tail stilled behind him. His face and clothes were covered in dirt you assumed was from patrolling in the woods and it caused a soft smile to slip onto your lips. He looked so cute like that, boyish even, and it immediately endeared you to the hybrid.

Jeongin watched him carefully, hesitantly raising his hands up in a surrendering manner. “Seung-“ before he could say any more the beagle was gone, bolting from the doorway so fast he had left the door wide open.

You watched the space where he once was, face falling in disappointment as the fox quickly got up to shut the door and give the two of you privacy once more. When he returned to your side Jeongin saw as you stared down at the water with your knees clutched tight to your chest. “Don’t mind him, pretty. He’s a little, um…shy-“ He sat back down and rinsed your hair once more of the conditioner he had added before combing his fingers through it slowly to remove any tangles he had caused during his little scalp massage.

“Is he afraid of me?” Your voice was small, causing Jeongin’s heart to ache as he paused. “No no- it’s not that.” He tried to reassure you, though truth be told Seungmin most likely was on edge by your presence. “Some of us don’t really feel safe around humans just yet cause of what we’ve been through…Seungmin is one of them.”

You sat deep in thought for a moment, hesitating to ask the question burning in your mind but your curiosity got the better of you. “What- um…what happened, if it’s alright that I ask?” This wasn’t the first time you had heard one of them speak of the troubled past of their family and it only left you with more questions after the reaction Seungmin had to simply seeing you in their bath. Jeongin took a deep, shaky breath before rinsing his hands and sitting with his back to the bath, wet hands drying themselves on his shirt nervously. “I was raised in a hybrid center…more like a factory, really.” He paused once more, his knees coming up to his chest as you moved to press your front to the inside edge of the bath while resting your chin on your hands where they held onto the rim.

“We were taken from the breeders and raised completely separate from other classes and genders…some hybrids were treated better than others- more specifically prey hybrids or domestic breeds were handled more kindly than-“ “foxes?” You guessed as he let his sentence hang in the air for too long. “Right.”

You watched carefully as his ears flattened to his head, a tell you had learned meant he was upset. “You don’t have to tell me if it’s too hard to talk about, Innie…” Jeongin shook his head, jaw clenching. “No, I want you to know. I’ll be okay.” He took another deep breath before continuing. “They would call us names, beat us, tell us that we were too wild or aggressive when we were just playing around with each other.” There was a little whimper in his voice that caused your heart to sting and you instantly brought your hand to play with his hair. Calming at your touch, he pushed onwards. “We were beat and sometimes starved as punishment, or locked away in a small yard in the back with no shelter even if the sun was beating down, rain poured, even in the winter snow…”

A small silence one again fell between you as you gently pushed his hair back from his forehead and scratched lightly behind his ears causing the hybrid to whimper and whine softly, almost losing his place in the story with how nice it felt. “One day I was locked out there in the rain- it was so cold and I thought I was going to freeze to death. I had shifted into my fix form even though it was forbidden at the center- but my fur was the only thing I had to keep me warm. That’s when I notice the gap in the chain link fence…” swallowing deeply, Jeongin finished his story with a voice just above a whisper. “I slipped out knowing no one would be watching the cameras at feeding time, and I never looked back. It took me weeks before I found Chan and the others….I had been in my fox form for so long it took me four days before I finally could shift back.”

Your heart ached for him, planting a soft kiss at the top of his head. “Oh Innie- that’s awful…you didn’t deserve to be treated like that. How could anyone treat another living being so cruelly?” You huffed a bit in frustration, sitting back upright in the bath as the hybrid turned to face you. “That’s just my story….Seungmin had it even worse…Chan too.” You frowned, splashing him lightly with the now lukewarm water. “Hey, quit that. Don’t belittle your own traumas just because others may have had it worse.” He chuckled lightly, splashing you back. “I only meant that since they had it worse they are even less trusting of humans than me, silly.” You pouted a bit, realizing you had jumped to conclusions made embarrassment paint your cheeks pink. “Now hurry up and wash your body before the water gets too cold and we have to warm you up again.” The young fox teased as he handed you a bar of soap and a wash cloth.

After you finished with your bath Jeongin wrapped you in a clean towel and handed you a folded stack of clothes. “I’ll leave so you can get dressed, just come out to the kitchen when you’re done cause I think Minho-hyung said something about wanting to talk to you.” Your body froze hearing that the older wanted to talk with you, a little anxiety creeping inside you at the fear of what it could be about. “Oh um- okay..” Jeongin gave you a soft smile before leaving you alone to dress yourself.

You carefully unfolded the clothes to find yet another baggy long sleeve tshirt and a pair of dark pajama pants. You blushed lightly realizing you would have to go without undergarments but pulled the clothes on regardless.

Once dressed you padded your way out and into the main part of the cabin, back tracking to where you saw the kitchen when you were on your way to the bathroom with Jeongin earlier. Minho was in the kitchen as the fox had predicted, setting stuff from the fridge out on the counter when he looked up to meet your eyes with a smile. “Ah there’s our pretty all nice and clean. Come here would you?” His voice was cheery but you still kept your steps towards him hesitant. “I’m not gonna bite you, I’m not Chan.” He teased but the mention of the wolf hybrid caused you to tense more. After making your way fully into the kitchen and to the cat hybrid’s side you looked up at him nervously. Minho gave a soft smile and ran his hands up and down your arms in a comforting manor. “Calm down, pretty…I just wanted to tell you what your chores will be around here since you will be staying with us.”

Your brain seemed to malfunction at that, you must not have heard him right. “Staying? Wait- I…I get to stay?” Your eyes became glassy as you looked up at him hopefully. Ever since you had started to get better you worried when the day would come that they would send you back to the forest and your tiny little camp, wondering if they would even allow Jeongin to come and visit again since it seemed to be something worth punishing the boy over. “Yes, of course you get to stay. We aren’t gonna send you back out into the cold.” Oh, you thought. Right…winter was just around the corner. Even though some of them distrust humans they didn’t seem so cruel as to put you out in such terrible weather after saving you once already knowing you were not prepared for such. “So…I’ll have chores?” Your voice was quiet, eyes still looking into his own as you composed yourself and waited for his instructions.

Minho gave you a warm smile before moving back towards the ingredients laid out on the counter. “Mhm, everyone here has chores. You, my dear, will be helping me with the cooking from now on.” You beamed, nodding your head as you moved to face the counter. This was something you could do easily, so the fact that it had been chosen as your task for you seemed like fate. “I can do that! So, what do you need me to do?” The cat grinned at your enthusiasm, glad to see your spirits lifted as he pushed a cutting board and various vegetables towards you. “I need you to rinse these, peel the carrots and potatoes, and cut them up for me. We are having stew for dinner so make sure they are small enough to cook all the way through.”

With that you set to your task, carefully washing and peeling the vegetables before beginning to cut them. As you worked you began to hum to yourself under your breath, completely absorbed in your job as Minho glanced over at you from where he was preparing the meat. “You’re really good at that, you know. Have you done a lot of cooking before?” The praise took you off guard, but you smiled nonetheless. “Thank you. I actually learned from my mother.” Your hands stilled in their movements, knife poised with the tip down on the cutting board with the thicker part of the blade resting against the potato you were in the middle of cutting into smaller cubes. “She um…she said that no good wife should ever let her husband come home without a home cooked meal waiting for him.” Minho frowned, scoffing a little as he reached over you to snag a piece of carrot you had chopped before popping it into his mouth and biting down with an audible crunch. “Oh yeah? So does that make me a good wife?” He teased, giving you a smug smile as you laughed so hard you snorted a bit. “Perhaps you are, but who would be the husband?”

Before he could answer a voice called out from behind you as the front door swung open. “What’s this about a husband?” You turned around to see the two hybrids who had been working in the yard now standing with wide eyes as they realized it was more than just their beloved cook in the kitchen. “Ah! Hyunjin, Changbin- I don’t believe you’ve met our newest addition. This is our pretty~” Minho introduced you with a teasing glint in his eye as he turned back to the meat he was preparing to add to the brother simmering on the stove.

The two hybrids watched you cautiously, still frozen in place so you decided to speak up. “U-Um…hello! I’m y/n but uh- the others have just been calling me pretty?” A light blush painted your cheeks as you looked down at the counter shyly. “That makes sense…you are very pretty.” Hyunjin said softly, slowly walking up to you with Changbin following closely behind albeit a bit more timidly. “Are you feeling better?” His voice was so sweet it caused your heart to flutter as you gave him a smile. “Mhm much better now thanks to Dr. Minho.” You didn’t miss the opportunity to tease the cat, hearing him snicker behind you as he listened in while working.

Taking in the appearance of the two you noted the small white ears atop Hyunjin’s head and his long white and brown tail. Changbin had a pair of floppy black ears that looked incredibly soft though from where he was standing you couldn’t see the matching bunny tail behind him. “I’m glad. I know we didn’t come to see you but we were still worried- you looked really bad when Innie brought you here.” Changbin spoke, his voice low and you turned to give him a warm smile as you had Hyunjin. “Thank you for worrying about me. I’m sorry to intrude on your lives like this…but it’s very nice to have been able to meet such kind people.”

The hybrid pair gave each other a look before turning back to you with bright smiles. Instantly arms circled around your waist as the ferret hybrid laid his entire body against your back, his chest pressed firmly against you as his chin rested on the top of your head. “Whatever your cooking smells soooo good- will dinner be soon?” You were a bit shocked at first, stumbling a little to support his weight but the heat from his body felt nice. Minho scoffed, picking up an end from one of the carrots you had cut and chucking it at his head causing the ferret to whine dramatically. “Ya! If you keep asking then we’ll be serving ferret stew instead!” You heard laughter ringing out from the bunny hybrid to your left, Changbin’s hands resting over his stomach before he pointed at the other two hybrids. “Careful Jinnie- you know he’ll do it too! Remember the tissues?” Your eyes widened, completely lost at the inside joke as you looked between the cat and bunny. “M-Minho would…cook you?” There was a sad pout on your lips that caused Minho to coo at you and shake his head. “I’m only teasing, pretty. I’d never hurt my family. Just gotta show the young ones their place sometimes.” You relaxed, nodding shortly before returning to the task he had given you. It was only slightly more difficult with Hyunjin clinging to your back as he started to doze lightly.

After you finished cutting all the vegetables Minho swooped in to take them from you, nodding to the hybrid half asleep on you. “Can you take him over to the couch for me, pretty? I need you to clean up and help Felix set the table.” You nodded to him, tapping the hands that rested around your waist to get the ferrets attention. “Hm? I’m up- I’m awake.” Hyunjin stirred, bleary eyes blinking to look around the room. “Come on, Hyunjin. Let’s go get you comfy okay?” He nodded, following as you lead him into the living room and helped him lay down on the couch. You pulled the blanket from where it had been folded neatly over the back of the sofa and covered the hybrid in it, making sure he was snug before heading over to the large wooden dinner table where the younger cat hybrid was currently setting out the plates. “Hi Pretty! Could you maybe get the cutlery from the drawer over there? While you’re setting those out I’ll get the cups.” His smile was like pure sunshine causing your breath to hitch when it was directed towards you. “U-Uh okay, sure.” You made your way to where he had pointed, grabbing nine sets of silverware before heading over to place them at each seat.

As you were placing the last set down you heard the door swing open and shut but unlike the last time the person entering the home didn’t say a word. You turned to see who it could have been, expecting to see Jisung returning from his chores only to be met with a sight that sent a shiver down your spine. Walking casually from the front door was a rather large black wolf, easily twice maybe even three times as large as you. Your eyes were probably as wide as saucers as you couldn’t help but stare. You had never seen a creature so big up close like this and a tremor set into your hands as you followed his movements carefully. So this was the head of their family…Chan. His eyes were sharp, almost calculating and you felt in awe of just how…majestic he seemed, he was mesmerizing. When he noticed you staring, Chan began stalking towards you causing you to back up until your lower back hit the table. You were effectively trapped with the wolf merely a foot away. He sniffed at you for a moment before letting out a low rumbling sound that caused you to flinch. When he caught the movement his eyes softened, quickly darting away to the room at the farthest end of the house much like Seungmin had ran from you earlier. Your body still trembled with fear as Jeongin rushed to your side. “Hey, pretty what’s wrong?” He had come out of his room just in time to see Chan’s retreat to his room and when he had looked in the direction he was coming from he saw you shaking with your hands clutching onto the table cloth as if it was your lifeline. “I-I don’t know….I think I made him angry? I’m so-sorry-“ you stumbled over your words, still shaken up by the fear he sent washing over you with just a single interaction.

Back in his room the oldest shifted back into his human form before curling up on his bed, tears silently falling from his eyes as he couldn’t get the look of fear on your face and the way you flinched away from him out of his mind. Maybe he really was some monster to all humans, even the most gentle as he had come to learn you were. You embraced them all so warmly, the wolf having watched from the shadows as you cuddled up at night with their youngest, whispering stories to him as you both drifted off to sleep. Or how you marveled at Minhos care for you, always thanking him profusely for even the smallest things and relaxing enough around him to return his teasing on occasion. How you allowed Jisung to play with your hair as Felix sat in front of you as you braided his, not seeming to mind when the chipmunk only seemed to add tangled messes instead of intricate braids as you did for the cat in your lap. Even just before he had entered the home he saw the way you allowed Hyunjin, who you had only just met, rest himself on you so familiarly before tucking him in gently.

Why couldn’t you embrace him that way….why not him? He let himself cry for a moment longer before there was a knock on his door. “Hyung? It’s….Minho says dinner is done. Will you uh- go with me? I’m afraid to go alone.” He quickly wiped away his tears, rising to throw on some of the cleaner clothes from his hamper since he still needed to shower after dinner and didn’t want to bother with anything clean at the moment. “Sure thing, Minnie. You don’t have to be afraid, yeah? She’s- I wouldn’t have allowed her to stay if I thought she would hurt us.” He tried to assure Seungmin once he opened the door to greet him. The other canine seemed to have been crying himself, eyes puffy and tired as he held his gaze downward. “I know, I trust you I just-“ Chan shook his head, ruffling the younger hybrid’s hair before taking his hand and leading him out towards the dining table. “I understand, but things will be okay. I’ll protect you.” This seemed to calm Seungmin enough to follow him willingly, although still hesitant. Chan braced himself to see you again, pushing away his negative thoughts of self hatred and doubt to try and make it through dinner until he could turn in for the night and continue to avoid you while also watching from afar, longing for the gentleness that seemed to flow from you so freely.

author’s note; ooohh little lore drops and big lore drops! How we feeling after learning Innie’s backstory?? Anyone else need tissues? Or maybe to beat up the people who would do that to him?? I’m so curious what you guys might be thinking the others backstories are that makes them so afraid/distrusting of humans~ I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and I look forward to reading all your comments and such hehe till next time! Also I am SO sorry if I forgot to tag someone who I already told could be on the taglist- I accidentally deleted a couple people when trying to copy and paste the list from my notes and I tried to go back and find all the accounts but I feel like I still missed some ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১

taglist; (pink users I wasn’t able to tag) @coastinglove @estella-novella @chancloud8 @skzswife @motheraiya55 @zofia515 @skybluelixie @breadedloafs @inaribu00 @silly250 @royal-shinigami @thatgirlangelb @bby-boo4u @emmxxsworld @vampkittenb82 @h0rnyp0t @alisonyus @im-sinking-in-mud @ihrtlix @mrs-hwangh @danixiulin @wolfo2027 @kiaralynn3838 @ateez-atiny380 @daceyena @bookswillfindyouaway

[nite-puff]

this was what their dr:s interaction was originally gonna be. trust me. i’m mr. danganronpa

(no cuz seriously. how are you gonna have them interact and then forget that hiroko canonically has a bit of a thing for takaaki?) (i say this like the dr:s writers even knew who the other captives were)

[jinhyun]

—in a different light.

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader

genre: fluff, pining, non-idol au, best friend’s little brother au

word count: 5.2k

summary: when another girl makes hyunjin question the way you see him, inevitably leaving him to sulk, he wants nothing but to go to you and hold you in his arms. and good thing he did, for that was all he needed to realise how wrong she was.

a/n: here she is! like i said this part doesn’t show the upcoming convo between y/n and dahye but!!we have a very good hyunyn moment if you ask me and a lot of you were asking about hyunie’s tweet about the almost kiss lol. as always i hope you guys enjoy! i would love to read your different thoughts on this<3

Hyunjin wanted you to rely on him.

Ever since the night you broke down in his arms when Mingyu left, he promised to himself to always be there for you no matter what. And then when you grew closer as the new year started, not only was his goal to be there for you anymore, but for you to notice that he was, and therefore to know that you could go to him whenever you felt like you needed someone.

However, the thing was, that just as you began to rely on him the way he wanted, he failed to realise that he, too, started to rely on you the most — not to say to need you more than he ever had.

It only hit him after the very unpleasant conversation with Dahye he had that afternoon.

Although he sounded cold, unbothered even, he couldn’t help but feel upset about it.

It wasn’t even Dahye threatening with telling you about his feelings for you what he was upset about — he was being so obvious about them already anyway, if anything her telling you would only confirm what you deep down already knew. It sucked that it wouldn’t be on his own terms and timing, sure, but that was it.

He could also always confess that day, before Dahye even had the chance to do it for him, but he didn’t want to rush into something he knew you weren’t ready to hear just yet, only for Dahye not to end up acting on her words in the end. In all honesty, he didn’t think she would do it. She wouldn’t, right? He wanted to believe she wasn’t obsessed with him to the point of actually coming in between your relationship.

No, that wasn’t it. What upset him were her spiteful words about his age, and how you would never be able to see past your age gap.

He knew it was stupid. Three years were nothing. Maybe they were when you just met, when he was still a high schooler, a teenager, but not anymore. Not now that you were both in your twenties and he had a career, a job, a car. Now that he was able to drive you around, take you out, buy you stuff just because. Most importantly, three years were definitely nothing now that you grew close enough to become actual friends —although there was nothing platonic on his end of your friendship—, being able to joke around and treat each other as equals, finally leaving behind the ‘little brother/big sister’ dynamic you had unintentionally adopted with him by being Yeji’s best friend, and which he grew to despise with everything in him as the years went by.

He had even brought it up to you only a few days ago, how he didn’t want you to still see him like the teen boy you met six years ago, and you promised him you didn’t; that you saw him as the man he was now — as Hyunjin. Just Hyunjin.

Nevertheless, although he knew your small age gap was nothing now, and although you had confirmed it to him not even a week ago, up until he managed to make you fall for him, it would always be his biggest insecurity when it came to you. And, therefore, having someone point out how ‘clearly’ you treated him like a child, even if it came from a place of spite, like he knew it did from Dahye, could only make him sulk.

And it was when his mind was spinning and his heart was hurting, that he realised he wanted nothing more but to go to you in that moment.

He wanted to hold you close, to wrap his arms ever so tightly around you, and to have your arms wrapped around his body just as fondly. He wanted to feel your chest move up and down against his with every breath you took, to feel your breathing on his neck as you hid your face in the crook of it, and to take in that sweet scent of yours he loved so much.

He wanted to be with you, close to you. Simple as that.

And, thankfully for him, expressing his wishes to you was all it took for you to accept him at your place. Even though you were busy right then, having him say he was feeling down and wanted nothing but to be with you was all it took for you to put your workload aside and focus on him.

That’s how Hyunjin ended up at your door only half an hour later, entering the passcode he knew by heart. It was still surreal for him to have reached this point in your relationship, where you’d tell him to just help himself into your place when he arrived, like you had texted him to a few minutes ago.

It felt almost domestic, without you being a couple yet. And he loved it to bits.

“I’m here!” He announced his arrival as soon as he entered your place, not to have you freak out over your door opening so suddenly.

“Hey, I’m in the kitchen!” You replied from the next room, just as he took his shoes off and put on the slippers you kept for your guests by the door.

Wasting no time, he made his way into the kitchen, unable to hide the beaming smile creeping up his face at the sight of you in an apron, with your hair tied up into a ponytail, as you were just putting a tray of what looked like chocolate chip cookies in the oven.

“Suddenly felt like eating something sweet?” He asked, crossing his arms and leaning against the door frame as he admired you.

You shook your head no, closing the oven and then quickly fixing the heat before you stood up and finally looked at him — your eyes inevitably softening when they met his. “Just thought we could have some coffee and your favourite cookies later in order to cheer you up…”

Being too shy by your own statement, you missed the way his lips parted into a lovesick smile that showed his teeth. You did, however, hear the breathy laugh that escaped his mouth right after, feeling him enter the room and get closer to you right as you cleaned up the remains of flour on the counter.

And maybe you focused a little too hard on said task, for you failed to realise how close to you he actually got — only doing so when you felt his chin rest on your shoulder and his arms sneak around your waist, loosely enough not to push any boundaries.

“Thank you…” he mumbled cutely, unable to see just how flustered you were. “You didn’t have to, though. Just being with you is enough to make me feel better”.

You bit your bottom lip in a poor attempt to avoid a smile from showing on your face, looking down to his intertwined hands over your stomach, before you found yourself covering them with your own and gently rubbing your thumbs on his soft skin.

“There was no harm in taking it one step further and making you a sweet treat, was there?” You asked, tilting your head back so you could look at him.

Hyunjin smiled softly, eyes going down to your mouth for a second before he nodded his head. It was only becoming harder not to lean in and press his lips to yours when you were so close to him.

Luckily —or not really— for him, you put some space between the two of you by undoing his hold around your waist and turning around, so you could properly look at him.

“I may have gotten a bit caught up and ended up making more cookie dough than I intended to, though” you confessed, undoing your ponytail and beginning to take off your apron. “So I put the rest of it in a container that I’m giving you to take back home later. Just keep it in the freezer and whenever you feel like having some preheat the oven at—what…” you shyly wondered when Hyunjin could not hold back a giggle, quietly placing the folded apron on the counter.

He shook his head in disbelief, letting out another small laugh as his warm hands cupped your face.

I love you, is what he wanted to say.

Fuck, he loved you.

He loved how you cared for him and everyone you loved. Because you loved him, he knew you did, even if it was only platonically.

He loved how you had dropped everything that day, regardless of how busy you were, just to be with him when he said he needed you.

He loved how you showed affection by baking and doing small acts of service.

He loved the way you loved so beautifully, so selflessly; without asking for anything in return — although, unknown to you right then, he was willing to give you everything in return.

He loved you. All of you.

From head to toe, inside and out, he loved every last bit of you.

“You’re the best” he said instead, adoringly looking at you while his thumbs drew gentle circles on your cheeks.

“All I did was bake some cookies…”

“And you’re the best” he repeated, leaning in once more and tightly wrapping you inside his arms.

“Hyunie…” you sweetly called his name when he began to softly rock your bodies together.

“What, I said I wanted to hold you” he mumbled nuzzling a ticklish spot in your neck that had you letting out a laugh.

“I thought maybe you’d do that after I took the cookies out of the oven”.

At that, he smiled, pulling away just enough to look at you. “Now why would I do that, I’m taking every second I get”.

Rolling your eyes in amusement, you playfully tried to pry his hands away from your body. “You’re a dork”.

He chuckled, only tightening his hold on your waist and lifting you up with ease. “Maybe,” he sat you down on the counter, not wasting another second to pull you into his arms once again and to hide his face in the crook of your neck, all while you were still trying to process what had just happened. “But I did say I was coming over just to hold you, so…”

“Just to hold me?” You wondered, for once and for all hugging him back and feeling him relax under your touch.

“Just to hold you” he hummed, getting lost in the way your hand gently ran up and down his back.

“You won’t be eating the cookies I made especially for you then?”

He chuckled, somehow managing to pull you closer to him. “I will be eating all those and then taking the dough you told me about home with me”.

“I would’ve been very sad otherwise” you pushed it, earning a brittle laugh from him.

“You’re gonna have to text me the instructions, though, because otherwise I’ll most definitely end up fucking it up somehow and burning them”.

“I’d expect something like that from Han and not you, honestly” you admitted.

“Oh, he’s not allowed anywhere near my cookies”.

“Don’t be selfish now” you called him out.

“You made them especially for me, though” he stood his ground.

“Should I make a whole batch for him then?” You teased, pulling him away by his shoulders, so you’d meet his eyes right before you pensively stared at the ceiling. “Maybe one for Minho as well”.

“Yah, they can get their own person to bake for them” he called you out. “You’re mine”.

Trying your hardest to ignore the butterflies that had just been unleashed in your stomach, you played dumb. “Oh, so I’m like your personal baker now?”

He smirked, knowing all too well what you were doing. “You know that’s not really what I meant”.

Finding it hard to meet his eyes without growing nervous, you looked down to your lap instead, noticing his loose grip on your waist. “Let them at least try one if you don’t want me to send them some, then”.

“I’ll think about it after the nap you promised me” Hyunjin negotiated.

You chuckled, only then locking eyes with him. “We gotta wait until the cookies are done first. They take around ten minutes, there isn’t enough time left for us to actually fall asleep”.

“Doesn’t mean we can’t cuddle in the meantime” he fidgeted with the fabric of your t-shirt.

“I guess you’re right…” you agreed softly. “We could go to the sofa for now”.

“For now?” He questioned. “Where are we going next?”

“Didn’t you say you wanted to take a nap?” You confusedly asked right back.

“Yes?” His eyebrows furrowed. “I thought on the couch?”

“Oh,” you felt your cheeks burn. “The couch, of course”.

“Where were you thinking?” He smiled —more like, smirked— as he caught on.

“I’m not saying it” you sheepishly looked away, earning a throaty laugh from him that had him resting his forehead on your shoulder for a moment, as he collected himself.

“I have no problem napping in your bed as long as you’re okay with it” he managed to put into words what you refused to.

“I simply thought it’d be more comfortable but now I’m too embarrassed, so let’s just go to the sofa instead”.

“Don’t be,” he lovingly pulled a strand of hair behind your ear. “It’s all about comfort after all”.

“Never mind, I’m too ashamed now”.

“Couch then?” He suggested, not wanting to push your limits.

“I mean, I guess, but it’s gonna be uncomfortable though…” you mumbled, taking the two of you back to the night you fell asleep together on it, and how your bodies hurt the next morning.

He knew first hand that your couch wasn’t the best place to sleep on and that you weren’t just using it as an excuse to take him to your bed — although he wouldn’t mind it if you were.

“Then bed” he stated the obvious, unable to hide his grin.

You half laughed, half whined, letting your head fall on his shoulder to hopelessly hide yourself from this conversation.

“Y/N, if you don’t decide within the next five seconds, I’m choosing one and carrying you there”.

“You wouldn’t” you mumbled.

“Is that a challenge?”

You shrugged, still refusing to lift your head up and to give him a proper answer.

“Okay then,” he sighed, making your heart jump when you felt his hands grab the back of your knees to pull you closer to the edge of the counter —and, therefore, to him—. “Just for the record, I warned you”.

With that said, his hands travelled slightly up to the back of your thighs, lifting you up enough for you to wrap your legs around his waist out of instinct, just as a small, surprised squeal escaped your mouth.

This wasn’t platonic, you thought while you crossed the door and entered your living room. This was so way past being platonic.

His hands on your thighs, your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck while your face hid in it, as you were too shy right then to look up and meet his eyes that would be only a couple of inches away… These weren’t touches you’d share with a friend, let alone with just anyone else.

You could see the red lights in your head warning you about the risky path you were taking, and yet, you didn’t want to turn back around.

“Okay, last chance” he stopped right outside the door to your room. “Where are we napping”.

“I thought you were choosing instead?” You tilted your head back, finally earning enough courage to look at him.

“I was, but I’m trying to be a gentleman here and let you have the last word”.

You chuckled, feeling like you were losing your mind. “Just take me to the bedroom already”.

His head tilted back in surprise, eyes sparkling in a way you’d never seen before. “Oh?”

“No, don’t” you helplessly tried to fix it, placing a hand over his eyes so you wouldn’t have him giving you that look that for some reason made you so fucking weak. He giggled, accepting his fate as he could not use his hands right then to remove yours from his eyes. “I didn’t mean it like that”.

“You know, when you say stuff like that I—”

“Yah, Hwang Hyunjin” you moved your hand down to cover his mouth instead, before he could finish his sentence.

“You’re the one who started it” his loud yet muffled words were enough for you to withdraw your hand completely, placing it back over his shoulder.

“I didn’t mean it like that, though?” You repeated your previous point.

He sighed overdramatically, shaking his head as he could not contain his amusement. “You really need to start watching your words”.

“Last time something like this happened, you said it was cute” you reminded him.

“Last time it happened, I wasn’t carrying you like this when we were alone at your place” he pointed out, managing to bring even more heat to your face. “I’m just a simple man, Y/N”.

“Ugh, can we just go take a nap before I get even more embarrassed?” You begged, having already shamefully hidden your face in the crook of his neck.

Hyunjin laughed lightly, silently complying with your wishes and entering your bedroom for once and for all, where he carefully laid you down on your bed before he slumped down next to you.

Not satisfied with just being next to you, he lied on his side to face you and threw an arm over your waist, so he could pull you closer and make the most out of this lazy evening with you.

However, instead of closing his eyes like you’d expected him to as soon as his head hit the pillow, he kept them open, using that moment to admire your face from up close and giving place to a comfortable silence to take over the room, as your eyes remained fixed on him as well and neither of you dared to look away from each other.

“You know, you’re supposed to close your eyes when you’re trying to sleep” you teased him in a whisper after what felt like minutes.

“You’re looking at me instead of closing them, too” he bit back, in a whisper as well.

“There’s no use for me to try and sleep yet, I have to go and take the cookies out of the oven any minute now”.

“Well, I guess I’ll just stare at you as well until that happens, then” Hyunjin said, and at that you could only laugh under your breath, shaking your head as your adoring eyes remained locked with his. “What?” He couldn’t help but nervously ask — somehow the look in your eyes feeling all too new for him and not knowing how to react.

“Nothing, I just…” you kept quiet for a moment, thinking carefully about your next words. “Never thought we’d be like this one day”.

“Like what, about to take a nap in your bed?” He joked.

You playfully shoved him off, having him take that small action of yours to his advantage by grabbing your hand, in order to keep you from pushing him again. “You know what I mean…”

He nodded quietly, staring down at your hands right as he intertwined his fingers with yours. “Is it weird?” He asked you, unable to hide the fear in his voice.

Staring down to your interlocked hands now resting in the small space between your bodies, you shook your head no, and Hyunjin released the air he didn’t realise he’d been holding for the five seconds it took you to give him a sincere answer.

“It’s just new,” you confessed, looking up at him. “Different. Not weird”.

Hyunjin smiled sweetly, leaning slightly in so that his head would rest closer to yours on the pillow — close enough for his breathing to mix with yours, for his nose to graze the tip of yours, and for a small tilt of his head to be all it’d take for him to press his lips to yours if he wanted to.

But he wouldn’t. No matter how bad he wanted to kiss you and how hard he was trying not to, he wouldn’t go as far as to close the gap between your mouths and press them together, because he wouldn’t push you.

The ball was in your court. It had been for a while now. He would only get as close as he could without making you uncomfortable, and you would be the one to make the final decision. Whenever you were ready, he would be there, ready as well to take whatever it was you were willing to give him.

The way he caught your eyes going down to his mouth, staring at it for what could be considered longer than normal, to then fix them back in his eyes before they went back down to his lips, just as he was hopelessly doing with yours right then, was enough to let him know you were considering taking the risk.

Nevertheless, right as he felt you move just an inch closer to him, just as he held his breath and thought maybe you would finally make the move and allow him to taste your lips like he had dreamed of countless times by now, the alarm you’d set up on your phone was heard going off from the kitchen.

You inevitably jumped up and away from him, undoing the previous hold of your hands while at it and clearing your throat, almost as if you’d just been pulled away from a trance.

“T-The alarm, I should, um…” you tried your best to compose yourself as you began to stand up. “The cookies…”

Hyunjin simply nodded, just as stunned, letting you know it was okay for you to go.

“Do you want me to bring them to you or maybe come with me and eat them in the kitchen or…”

He smiled. You were blabbering.

Cute.

“As much as I’m dying to try them,” he genuinely let you know. “I just want you to come back here already so we can go back to how we just were before the alarm went off”.

Feeling your cheeks burn, like it seemed to be the norm when you were around him now, you nodded; clumsily stumbling back and pointing towards the door, to let him know you were heading out of there.

With one last lingering look after he nodded his head for you to go, you left him alone in your room to shove his face into the pillow as a mixture of an incredulous laugh and a frustrated whine of his was muffled into it.

That was just his luck.

But he wasn’t crazy, was he? You had been staring at his lips and you did lean closer to him the moment before the alarm went off. The tension was so clear, so palpable, he couldn’t have imagined it. He wasn’t that delusional, was he?

He sighed heavily, resting on his back and defeatedly throwing an arm over his eyes. Had it not been for the stupid alarm, maybe he would be feeling your lips on his right then.

You, on the other hand, although just as frustrated as him, remained speechless, unable to understand what had just happened.

After having mindlessly turned off the alarm as you rushed to take the tray out of the oven, you just stood there in the middle of your kitchen, almost frozen, as you got once again lost in your thoughts.

You wanted to kiss him.

You could try and blame it on the atmosphere surrounding the two of you being just right and luring you into it, or maybe even on the way he looked particularly handsome that day and having his pretty face only inches away from you was being of no help at all. You were only human, after all. But even then, you couldn’t deny that, whatever the reason was, for a moment there you had really wanted to kiss him. Had you even leaned in at some point?

God, had it not been thanks to your alarm, you would probably have ended up rushing into something you were not ready for yet and turning your relationship with Hyunjin into a mess.

Were you really willing to kiss him regardless of the consequences?

It had been, what, a week since Chan opened your eyes about this whole situation with Hyunjin? Roughly one week since you started questioning everything? And you were already thinking of risking it all and kissing him?

You couldn’t just rush into things. Not with Hyunjin. Not when you weren’t sure about anything.

You didn’t know what you wanted, nor what you were looking for yet — either with Hyunjin or with anyone else for that matter. And you cared about him too much to even dream of playing with him.

Which didn’t mean you weren’t willing to explore your feelings for him. You were certain now more than ever that you did feel something for him. Maybe minimum, maybe just a small crush, but you couldn’t deny that there was a spark in your heart that ignited when it came to him. And you wanted to lean into that warm and safe feeling you got whenever you were with him.

You didn’t feel ready to jump into a new relationship just yet, and you didn’t exactly know what Hyunjin wanted from you either; for you knew that, in male language, flirting and giving someone special treatment didn’t always translate to wanting a serious relationship.

It felt too soon to ask him about his intentions with you, too entitled to demand an answer from him right then. But, so far, you were okay with how things were. You were just figuring out your feelings and the depth of them, and you guessed so was he.

Still, whatever it was that you felt, and whatever it was that he did, you couldn’t ignore that there was something going on between the two of you anymore. The conversations you held, the looks you exchanged and the small touches you shared during the past week… Furthermore, the tension you had felt only minutes ago and the urge to lean in and press your lips to his, were all the realisation you needed.

Taking a deep breath, feeling ready to go back to the man waiting for you in your room after managing to clear your mind, you grabbed your phone before you could head back. However, a particular Twitter DM caught your attention before you could do so. Standing in your place, you stared at the notification, reading Dahye’s words over and over.

‘Hey, girlie!’, followed by the smiley emoji with blushy cheeks, which could only come off as cynical from her.

You immediately felt sick to your stomach. You’d gotten a text like that once before in your life, by one of Hayun’s annoying friends trying to warn you about Mingyu and her, and you had wrongfully ignored it —only at first, until you could no longer look past the signs—, so you knew better than to ignore a text like this now. But that didn’t mean you were opening it today.

You had already gone through enough emotions that day. From waking up early to catch up with the project, to have Hyunjin publicly call you pretty on Twitter, to have him text you about feeling down and inevitably making you worry, to have him tell you he wanted to hold you, to have him actually hold you, to feel flustered as ever over the sudden couch or bed discussion whilst being carried by him, to feeling like kissing him for a moment there… You definitely needed a rest, and you wanted nothing but to do so in his arms.

Whatever it was that Dahye wanted to tell you, it could wait — for you knew it had to do with Hyunjin, and you were neither emotionally nor mentally prepared for yet another disillusionment.

Was it wrong of you to want to live in an illusion for just a little longer, in case Dahye’s DM ended up being bad news?

Either way, regardless of your wishes, the nauseous feeling you got at the simple sight of her name and the way your mind was sent spiraling because of her text, could only serve as a reminder of why you weren’t ready for a new relationship yet.

Not even bothering to take your phone back with you anymore, you locked it and left it on the kitchen counter before going back to your room.

Once there, a smile curved up your mouth at the sight of Hyunjin. He was now lying on his back with his hands behind his head, and his eyes had been closed until he felt you cross the door and they inevitably focused on you.

Without a word, he opened his arms for you to go over there. And, without a second thought, you did just that.

Feeling his arms wrap ever so tightly around you as soon as you crawled next to him, you let out a contented sigh as you instantly felt at ease; right before you realised just how close your face was to his and you hid it in his chest.

“What” you daringly mumbled when you felt his chest tremble and his laugh reached your ears.

Instead of answering you right away, he took you by surprise by pressing a soft, lingering kiss to your forehead. “You’re adorable” he said, resting his chin on your head and tightening his hold on you.

“Just go to sleep already” you scolded him, in a way cuter voice than you’d intended, which had him laughing once again and mumbling something about how cute you were under his breath.

Feeling how nervous you got both by his words and by being that close to him again, and how you had clearly hidden your face in his chest to avoid having either of you possibly leaning in again, Hyunjin could only confirm that he had not imagined you staring at his mouth and leaning closer to it earlier that day.

Even though you were visibly nervous over it now, and although he could tell you didn’t feel ready just yet, just knowing that you were now beginning to see him in another light, just enough to look at him with longing and maybe even considering to kiss him, was enough for him to be on cloud nine.

He had come here because he needed to feel you close after Dahye planted all those doubts in his mind. He needed the reassurance that you didn’t see him the way she said, and he couldn’t be happier now that he had just confirmed that you were indeed able to look past the baby image you used to have of him.

In the end, he was right to tell her she knew nothing about your relationship, because she truly didn’t. She didn’t know how you acted around each other, how you talked to each other, how you looked at each other.

Only you and him knew how your relationship worked, and even when it came to the bits of it that neither of you were sure about, it was still only for the two of you to figure out.

He realised right then that he shouldn’t mind what outsiders —let alone Dahye of all people— had to say on your dynamics, and that he was actually okay with people not seeing the changes in the way you treated him as long as he was able to feel them.

After all, he was the one who almost got kissed by you when no one else was around.

tag list: @jehhskz @iknowyouknowminho @doohnut @saintcosette @lailac13 @kayleefriedchicken @rikibun @yongbokkiesworld @seungzsmin @beautifulcolorgarden @hyunetopia @velvetmoonlght @automaticpersonabatpaper @httpdwaekki @brinnalaine @wondering-out-loud @feelikecinderella @nujeskz @amarecerasus @liknws @nhyunn @midsoulz @tirena1 @tinyelfperson @thatonexcgirl @iovecb97 @hynier @phenomenalgirl9 @your-favorite-pirate @jin-from-the-block @yearofthetiger25 @quokkacidal @stayconnecteed @kwanisms @yoonguurt @143hyunes @iiriam @cookielixie @hyunlvrs @allyrarara @machaandlofi @mehli-00 @justiceforvillains @minhosprettywife @whats-my-question @armystay89 @jaiuneamesolitaiire @hyeon-yi @skzstannie @onlyhyunjin @shyshyshytwice @nicoleparadas @​broken-glowsticks

[defmaybe]

Arrangement

fromis_9’s Lee Seoyeon x Male Reader

1.4k words

A/N: Edited by the greats @midnightdancingsol and @prael! So, huge credits to those two! Thanks for reading!

—

“I mean, you didn’t do too bad in your exams. You were above the average!” Seoyeon smiles, rotating her chair from side to side. Her raven black shirt looks better than ever on her.

“I always strive to be better, Miss Lee,” you answer, giving her a shy smile.

“Have you considered tutoring a friend? It’s a good way to learn! And we really do want to reserve the tutors for the trailing students. Sorry.” She smiles. You can sense her sympathy in it.

You sigh, let down by her denial.

An idea pops up in your head, though.

“How about you, Miss Lee? Can you be my tutor for these finals, please?”

Seoyeon tilts her head just a little, but enough to let you know that she’s intrigued by the idea. “Me?”

“Yes, Miss Lee. You.”

She chuckles. “As much as I want to do that, it’s against the rules of the university to tutor your own students.”

“Please, Miss, I mean they don’t have to kno–”

“Whoa, whoa, that’s my job on the line here, mister.” Seoyeon stops you. Her voice is stern.

“Maybe just some notes, perhaps, doesn’t have to be a face-to-face thing, please?”

Seoyeon laughs. “Wow, I do admire your determination, but I really can’t. I’m sorry.”

Yeah, it’s over.

Again, you sigh, surrendering to the fact that you won’t find anyone to tutor you. “Okay, see you later then.”

You get up from your seat, leaving. Guess you’d have to rely on the Indian guys on YouTube again.

“Perhaps we can have an arrangement?” suddenly says Seoyeon.

You stop in your tracks, looking back to see her determined gaze.

“Arrangement, Miss?”

“Yes, arrangement.” She bites her lip. It’s enough to get you going. “I mean, they wouldn’t know, right?”

And she stands up.

You are frozen in the spot while she walks. Every stride is made with purpose, and they seem designed to make your mind wonder. From her wide-legged pants to that black shirt, it all fits her so fucking well. She looks at you with purpose, like a predator eyeing on their prey. Even a child could work out who is who.

“I can tutor you, but in exchange,”–she pulls her cuff back, revealing more of her skin–“you have to fuck me, brainless.”

It’s a good offer, actually, but you can’t just give in so easily. Your pride is at stake (kind of, you just don’t want to look like another man who’d say yes to sex at the first opportunity). “And why do you think I’d say yes to that, Miss Lee?”

“I mean, sure, assuming that you’d fold is premature, to say the least,” she coos, looking into your eyes.

“But with the way you’ve been looking at me for these past few months.”

Fuck.

“And I can’t help but think,”—her hand lands on your crotch, biting her lip, god, what a sight—“what wild fucking fantasies you’re having with me.”

You moan in response to her touch. The pleasure is seeping through your whole body.

“I–I do,”—and she squeezes your crotch once more—“ngh, have a lot of fantasies with you.”

“Show me, then. Shove this cock into my cunt, and I’ll get that A for you.”

You undo your pants as quickly as she undoes hers. They both fall to the ground simultaneously, sending the clunking sounds of your belts hitting the floor through the office. Your erection springs free at the sight of her bare, unshaved pussy on display. Her slit is slicked in arousal.

“C’mere, baby. Show me what you got.”

Seoyeon steps backwards and sits on her table, spreading her legs wide to give you the image of her cunt, so ready to grip your cock like a vice.

“And you’re going to tutor me after this, right?”

“If you can make me cum with you,” she says, fingers splaying her core for your access. “You get to cum inside me, either way. I’ve always been on the pill.”

You take steps towards Seoyeon. Your tip gets closer to her tightness every second. It’s closer, it’s closer, until your hands touch her knees.

“Your hands are so soft, baby.”

“Thanks, Miss Lee.”

She chuckles. It’s so cute when she smiles like this, shame that you’re going to wipe it away for at least the next few minutes—with her being a moaning mess and all.

It’s so, so, languid—the way your cock disappears into her wanton cunt. Her mouth hangs open in pleasure. Her hands grip onto the edge of the table tighter than ever. “Hah–hah, f–fuck, i–it’s pretty big, baby.”

“T–Thanks, ah, M–Miss Lee.”

She grips onto you so tightly with her velvety walls. It feels like heaven, the way her cunt welcomes you. You want to cherish this moment forever. And with a few inches more, you’re buried deep inside her.

“At the hilt, right?”

“Y–Yes, miss.” you stammer.

“A–Alright, fuck me slow and hard, okay? Take every stroke like you mean it,” commands Seoyeon.

“Okay, Miss L–Lee.”

And with that, you drag your cock back, out of her, before thrusting yourself back into her needy cunt again. Both of you moan in unison. She’s so fucking gorgeous with her mouth hanging open like this. It’s as if you’re enjoying the fact that it’s you that’s making her a flushing, moaning mess like this.

“G–God, you’re so, so big, sweetie. I wish I have your cock just for myself.”

You can do nothing but whimper, and you watch your length reappear out of her again. “Ngh.” Before plunging yourself back into her wetness.

“Pick up that tempo, baby, pick–it–up.”

And it becomes like clockwork. You thrust yourself back and forth, in and out of her wanting, wet cunt. Seoyeon’s face and inner thighs become beet red, so long lost in the pleasure you’re giving her. You’re no better, feeling the heat pooling in your cheeks. You’re as excited about this as she is.

“God, god, yes, you’re hitting the spot, baby,” screams Seoyeon. Someone must’ve heard that.

The table creaks and cries with each of your hammering. Stationeries and papers fall down to the floor, all in disarray—reports, pens, recommendation letters.

As the tempo picks up, sweat drips from her forehead. And as if it’s innate, you stick out your tongue to taste her fluid. Salty. Tangy. Robust.

“Freaky, are we?”

“Y–Yes, miss.”

Her walls are gripping onto you so, so hard. You can explode any minute, but you’ll have to hold on, for her. Your moans are filling the room right now, added with the smell of sweat and sex. The head of your cock finds its way to stimulate her insides, grazing the spot where it makes her a mess. She keeps reaching high notes with each thrust you take.

You swear she looks so ethereal, being filled with your cock right now. “You’re so pretty, Miss Lee,” you say.

“A–Aww, thanks, baby,” answers Seoyeon as she cups your face, body still vibrating from the thrusts.

And as cued, her body stiffens—a sign of her own high. Her grips on the table are tighter than ever. You can feel your cock getting ready to release inside her too, It builds up inside you like a tsunami.

“Nghn, M–Miss Lee, I–I’m gonna cum.”

“It’s okay, b–baby, me too, me too.”

Your thrusts are more determined than ever, chasing the high of blowing your load inside her cunt. Her walls are tighter than ever, so ready to take in your white hot cum.

“B–Baby, I’m cumming, ah!”

Seoyeon convulses on your cock. Her vice grips you so strongly. She wails, fuck, it’s a melody. And with the way her mouth opens wide, sweat dripping from her forehead, her eyes fluttering as she cums, it’s quite a sight to behold.

And within her orgasm, you cum, hard. Jets and jets of hot cum paint the insides of Professor Lee Seoyeon white, all while she’s shrieking on your cock. Your whole body shakes in the pleasure of taking her cunt.

With the last thrusts, cum dribbles off the tip of your length into her tightness. Your nectar leaks out of her, dripping onto the table. 

The room is now a fucking mess. Papers and pens are scattered everywhere. Not talking about the smell of sex that needs to be washed out soon yet.

“So, Miss Lee, are you going to be my tutor now?”

“Yeah, definitely, maybe.”

[mournings-stars]

hazbin characters wrapping their wings around you headcanons

based on this lil idea

lucifer

he would literally keep you wrapped in his wings all night — all day if he could

this is definitely one of his favorite ways to show intimacy like he loves having you close to him; touching him, relying on him, holding him. it makes him feel so close to you, how could he not love it?

the minute this man sees you even shiver he’s wrapping his wings around you “are you cold?” doesn’t matter what you say, you’re already wrapped in his wings

whenever you fall asleep next to him, he just drapes his wings over you as a warm, feathery blanket, watching you relax with a smile

if you were to curl into his wings or hug them closer, he’s already planning your future (then he’s also trying not to make a sound that would wake you up cus i just know his wings are sensitive)

now if you used a blanket instead of his wings, he’d definitely start to wonder if he did something, but if you seemed uncomfortable, shifting and turning, he’d cautiously drape his wings over you and make him melt with how quickly you settled

if you said something like “i didn’t want to inconvenience you by asking” he’d just put his wings around you anyway and tell you to go back to sleep with a reminder you could never inconvenience him

if you do ask him, he’s trying his hardest not to swoon like… “i’m a little chilly, is it okay if—“ and he’s already (literally) got you covered

if you’re in public and someone looks at you the wrong way, best believe he’s using his wings to pull you to his side and drape over you without even acknowledging that other demon

this is literally second nature for him he loves things like this (anything for his love)

vaggie

so if this was vaggie in heaven, she’d probably be reluctant to do it

like she’s a soldier! she can’t just let someone curl up in her wings!

but she does…

see, if you’re alone, sitting together on the couch or something, her wings are wrapped around you and they are not moving

she will literally fall asleep like that

if we’re talking hell vaggie, she’s always ready to wrap her wings around you and protect you

someone she doesn’t trust is in front of you? she’s pushing you behind her and wrapping her wings around you

you need comfort? her wings are wrapped around you while her hands are holding yours

i think vaggie also uses her wings to give you both some privacy

if you lean in for a kiss, she’s shielding you with her wings so she can kiss you how she wants

she’s a lover girl i just know she is

and she loves when you touch her wings (yes theyre probably sensitive too but she can control herself unlike some people) so if you’re sleeping together, her wings around you, and you wake up first you never push her wings off of you

sometimes you’ll just sit and run your fingers over them, feeling them stretch around you until she woke up and used her wings to pull you closer with a smile

yes she can make her wings appear and disappear, but whenever you’re around they’re out since she knows you like them

and if you ask her to wrap them around you, she’ll first make sure you’re alright but then, of course, give you what you asked for

for heaven vaggie i think itd grow on her but for hell vaggie she’d already love it and it’d just make her feel so much closer to you

husk

okay husk is definitely the kind of guy to use is wings to stop you from walking into traffic or some shit (or even walking toward alastor)

he’s more of a “put his wing in front of you if someone looks at you wrong” kinda guy

overlord husk would definitely have you under his wing for protection from anyone trying to gamble with him

if anyone tried to bargain with him for you/your attention, he’s got his wing out in front of you (and he’s taking their soul)

if theres a brawl going on, he’ll shield you with his wings while he deals with it cus theres no way he’s letting anything happen to you (and since he knows he’ll win, there’s no way he’s letting any blood get on you either)

now when he’s asleep is when he’s not in control of what his wings do (or he his just subconsciously)

his wings would be draped over you — and if you just so happened to fall asleep first with a blanket, that blanket would somehow magically disappear and you’d wake up in the morning with his wings as a much softer alternative

if you got up in the middle of the night you best believe he’s waking up and waiting for you to get back before falling right back asleep when you do with his arm and wing over you

now if you asked him to drape his wings over you, he’s 100% doing it without question. anything you want, no complaints

husk may be a private guy but he’s very caring

adam

now this man is 1000% percent used to wrapping you up in his wings

you’ll somehow end up having office sex and he’ll have to wrap his wings around you when someone walks in, masking it as polishing his feathers

he’d start doing this when you were alone, finding it so much more intimate (but also secretive and more arousing)

whenever he wants a kiss, he’s wrapping his wings around you so you can’t get away (not that you’d want to)

if he’s teasing you, he’s got his wings wrapped around you, mocking you for liking it so much and then using the privacy of his wings to dote on you, whispering sweet nothings and peppering kisses on your face (before he goes right back to being an ass)

if you even try to use a blanket over his wings, he’s the most pissy, butthurt man in all of heaven “want me to fluff them up for you or some shit? what’s this about?” and it’d slowly morph into “are you mad at me?” then “so… you want to break up” and you’d have to talk him down until you were safely wrapped in his wings

if you fell asleep before he got home, under a blanket, he’d literally just get rid of the blanket and wait for you to curl into him, sleepily grabbing for a blanket and giving him the perfect opportunity to stretch out his wings and watch you burry yourself beneath them

now if you grab his wings at all, he’s waking you up because he can’t handle that “what’d i tell you about touching my wings, babe?” (but you’d grab them again anyway)

if you ask him to put his wings around you in public, he’ll deny it because he’s so off guard that his sensitive wings could not handle wrapping around you without taking you home (of course as soon as you got home he’d apologize and give you what you wanted)

now you just ask out of the blue to see his wings involuntarily fluff and stretch and watch him choke on his words

if you asked when you were alone he’d be happy to oblige

sometimes you’d walk down the promenade and he’d just put his wing over you to make sure everyone knew who you were

after a gig, same thing, no one is getting near you

adam is a little bit inept when it comes to romance, but this definitely makes up for it

lute

under no circumstances is she wrapping her wings around you absolutely not

okay maybe

okay definitely

you’re sleeping? obviously, you needed a blanket (you definitely didn’t purposely not get one) and her wings were perfect for that

watching a movie? well, she doesn’t want to sit on her wings so obviously she just needs to stretch them out. it’s not her fault you’re sitting next to her

you’re reading? you like to be cozy and she couldn’t find a blanket to give you so her wings are the next best thing (or best thing really)

don’t even think about asking for it though, she will stop…. for like three days then go right back to doing it cus she misses you

and she does not like the fact that you’re under some blanket because she just knows it’s not warm

yes. she would be jealous of a blanket.

she hides the blankets but so do you so its okay

now theres no chance in hell she’s putting her wings anywhere near you in public

….good thing you’re in heaven!

if someone is a little too friendly, she’s stretching her wings out then using one to pull you close before walking away with a sour look on her face and dragging you with her

she also uses her wings to stop you from doing things, but if you move them out of the way she’s gotta stop herself from doing something

don’t touch her wings… seriously don’t. she wont know what to do with herself and you’ll have a serious problem on your hands (maybe a clingy problem depending on the day)

now say both of you are exorcists, she’s definitely using her wings to protect you. there’s a sinner trying to fight back? she’s darting to you, wrapping her wings around you, and getting rid of that sinner faster than you can blink

and in that last battle??? she’s not letting you anywhere near that shield, keeping you behind her with her wings shielding you. once its gone, she’s slaughtering anyone that gets near you and using her wings to move you out of the way, keep you close, or take blows for you (i just know once lute cares about someone she’s protecting them with her life cus she refuses to lose anyone)

once you get home she’s got you wrapped up in her wings and holding you close

if you’re not an exorcist, she’s doing this after every extermination — there’s no way she’s letting you go and she’ll fall asleep like that before you even get the chance to talk about it, or worse get up and leave her (and she is not talking about it the next day so don’t bother trying, she’ll just ignore you and hand you a blanket… before getting jealous later)

and if you hold her back, you can feel her wings flutter while she sleeps, folding in and pulling you impossibly closer

(i love this mean little angel u guys)

[wife-of-all-dilfs]

burning pt. 2 | b. blake

part one | masterlist

summary: season three — a daunting decision is to be made. multiple cups of grounder celebration juice, an arrogant bellamy blake, and a desire to prove oneself cause an inevitable outcome.

pairing: bellamy blake x reader

warnings (including all parts): alcohol consumption/intoxication, sensual dancing, jealousy, sexual desecration??, mild possessiveness, arguments, bellamy speaking in trigedaslang (giggling and kicking my feet), dialogue-heavy, manhandling, mild angst, smut, unprotected p in v (do not), reader is short because i’m short, deal with it <3

notes: THIS IS PART TWO OF FROM THE FLAMES!!

word count: 2.6k

No.

Way.

There was absolutely no way I was going to join a horde of drunken warriors dancing around a ten-foot-tall bonfire.

At least, that was what I had told Raven ten minutes ago.

Given the current position in which I was standing (which was just outside the crowd of dancers by a barrel containing a brew that I told myself was just really strong moonshine) and the alcohol oozing through my veins like sweet, molten honey, I think it’s safe to say that I had contradicted myself.

How many drinks had I had now? Two, three? Somewhere around there.

I wasn’t drunk, I swear. Although, I was certainly working my way towards being so. Raven had gently coerced—threatened—me into joining the raunchy dance circle. I had at first refused, but when she began to suggest telling Bellamy my ‘little secret’ if I didn’t do it myself, I reluctantly, very reluctantly, agreed.

So, that was that. I was going to dance. With Grounders. Around a bonfire. In front of Bellamy.

Hence, the drinks.

The only times I had ever danced were during parties back on the Ark, but those were so tame and regulated. This was vastly different. There were no rules, no sophistication, and certainly no guards keeping tabs on how close a girl danced with a boy. The latter was clear as day, taking the form of a couple dancing together a few feet in front of me.

A woman with dark, slicked-back braids and deep bronze skin pushed herself against her partner, a tall man with lengthy facial hair and spike-cuffed fists that must’ve been the size of my head. One of his hands was on her back, the other on her hip, ruching up her long skirt so that it exposed her thighs as she glided her chest up his torso. They grinded and swayed and flowed together in time with the pulsating beat.

Dread grappled me. I had to do that? How the hell do you dance like that in jeans and a tank top?

Through the ever-migrating crowd, I spotted Raven standing with Monty and Harper on the opposite side of the square. Of course, she had already been watching me the whole time. The fear on my face was unmistakable, yet she only sent an impatient nod of her head that said, “Get on with it already.”

If anything, you could always rely on Raven for her persistence.

“Christ, help me.” I plunged my cup into the barrel, fervently bringing its contents back to my lips and down my throat.

“Didn’t take you for a religious one,” came a deep voice from behind me.

I swivelled around, my cup still craned to my lips, and found the incentive for my drinking habits standing before me.

Bellamy.

Gracelessly, I choked as a much too-large mouthful of liquid streamed down my throat. My innards recoiled in on themselves. “Bellamy,” I said, attempting to compose myself. “Hi.” Unfortunately, the abhorrent aftertaste still lurked on my tongue, causing my expression to sour into one of disgust. “God—makes moonshine seem like apple juice.”

Apparently, he found this amusing. A hum of a chuckle bobbed in his throat. “Looks like you’re enjoying the party then.”

A few variations of how I wanted to reply: “I wasn’t until you started talking to me,” “Not really, but if you take me into a back alley right now, I might,” and, just a plain and simple, “I need you.”

What I really said: “Oh, yeah, I’m having a great time. You meet this guy?” I patted the barrel behind me. “Really supportive. We’re becoming good friends.”

He nodded, eyeing me with a quizzical smirk. “I can see that. Maybe you should branch out a bit. Have you met the one called Water yet?”

“You’re funny.”

“Alcohol tends to have that effect on me,” he said, and I laughed. His freckled cheeks rounded into apples and his teeth made a rare appearance; he looked away as if to hide his smile, as if Bellamy Blake couldn’t possibly be anything but serious and brooding. He’s kept my secret; I’ll keep his.

We both observed the crowd and the fire as a new song began to play, standing comfortably, wordlessly, side by side. Maybe ‘wordlessly’ was a bit of a stretch—there was a magnitude of words filling my mind, especially when he began unzipping his jacket and shrugging it off to expose his contoured arms to the fire’s fervour.

His arms…

“How many drinks have you had?”

I blinked. “What?”

He stared at me with a mischievous glint in his eye, draping his jacket on an unlit makeshift barbeque. “I said, what do you think of all this?”

The veil of lust-ridden (let’s call it what it was) fog lifted from my mind, and my brows creased deeply as I attempted to piece together what he was talking about. It took me a few belated seconds before I realized he had been referring to the Grounders and Sky People uniting as one people. I could hardly contain an idiotic smile from breaching my lips—my opinion was important to him.

“It’s—well,” I stammered, “it’s different.” It’s different? If only he knew how badly I wanted to club myself with a brick at that moment. Despite my obvious mental stagnation, he expressed nothing but patience, waiting with a visible longing for my input. So, I tried again, slowly working around the alcohol and shrewd blockages in my brain. “Honestly? It scares me. Their first impression of us was that we were cold-blooded killers and ours of them was the exact same. Ever since we hit the ground, we’ve been at each other’s throats; we’ve all committed so many acts of war.

“I’m scared of how fragile this peace is, how one tiny mistake could lead to the annihilation of our kind or theirs, or even both.” Bellamy watched me with silent contemplation. I continued, “And I’m scared if this peace does break, you’ll be on the front-lines because I know you’ll refuse to be anywhere else. And I know you and I tend to… disagree more often than not, but if you were to die—” I looked down, bashfully scrutinising the toes of my boots “—I think I’d be lost.”

He didn’t speak. He didn’t move. I immediately wished to snatch the words my loosened tongue had released and shove them back down my throat. His silence was writhing excruciatingly through the air, surrounding us like a constricting serpent.

Say something, Bellamy. Say anything.

“I think I’d feel the same,” he finally spoke, and the relief I felt was instant. I looked up at him. His pupils were bowls of sweet melted chocolate as he cocked his head to the side. “What would I do without my favourite sparring partner?”

My heart soared.

My favourite sparring partner.

Favourite.

So much for not smiling like an absolute idiot. I could only pray the fire’s orange light masked the jeopardising tinge of my cheeks, though there was nothing I could do about my blatant staring. Maybe it would have been embarrassing if I were the only one, but Bellamy had the same problem.

Someone seemed to hit ‘pause’on time.

The blood in my veins moved like a tranquil river; my heart expanded and subdued with each slow beat. The voices and bodies around us blurred into one big mass of nothing. All that seemed to be moving was the music drifting down towards us from the tower and Bellamy’s face, which was leaning closer in microscopic intervals, almost unnoticeably. But I noticed.

And then the bonfire roared with a loud crack.

Voices mingled. Bodies shuffled. Time restarted.

Bellamy cleared his throat and looked away, just as I began inspecting the cup in my hand. What was in that stuff? It was supposed to give me the confidence to dance in front of him; he ruined—a term I’ll use loosely—my plans by greeting me directly, so now I was just tipsy for no good reason.

At least now I didn’t have to join a wanton circle of dancing grounders.

Wait.

Was Bellamy going to kiss me?

“Didn’t think I’d see a grounder mating ritual tonight,” muttered Bellamy as he watched the scene with crossed, disapproving arms. The light spirit he had been in before had obviously been overthrown by his usual brooding nature. Funny that—that his mood only soured after hemade it seem like he was going to…

You know.

I turned towards the crowd, away from him (and his damning muscular arms that bulged impossibly over his chest). “You don’t approve?” I asked flatly. His sudden detachment had pissed me right off. “Everyone,” I addressed the partygoers in a hushed tone only Bellamy could hear, “stop dancing right now. Bellamy Blake doesn’t approve of fun.”

“I didn’t say that,” he countered.

“Then go dance.”

“I don’t dance.”

For the second time that night, I contradicted myself. “Well, I do.”

Now that regained his attention. I could see him staring at me in my peripheral vision.

“Right,” he scoffed. “You’re gonna dance.”

Ouch.

His words struck a chord deep inside me, causing my expression to wilt into something defensive. My arms folded promptly over my chest and I turned to stare him down. “Is it so unimaginable?”

“I just can’t picture you dancing,” he spoke with an arrogant grin, as if his viewpoint originated from the truth and mattered above all else.

It was moments like this one that pushed me to judge whether I should indulge in my attraction to Bellamy. Maybe it was the booze talking, but I really just wanted to slap him across the face. If not literally, then maybe figuratively, by proving him wrong.

I’d had this problem ever since I met him: he would tell me to do one thing, and I’d do the complete opposite; it felt like an unspoken rule at this point. Which led me to my next decision.

My arms dropped to my sides. “Good thing you won’t have to in a minute,” I snapped.

I began making for the bonfire and dancers, each of my curt steps fuelled by spite and a chemically altered brain. I just can’t picture you dancing. Yeah, right. I’d give him something to picture, the smug asshole.

“Hey.” A large hand caught my wrist, pulling me back half a step so I that had to stop.

I shot a fiery warning over my shoulder. Bellamy’s eyes reflected regret and a touch of submission; he knew it had been the wrong move and immediately let go of my arm, withdrawing half a step himself in placation.

“Look, I’m sorry,” he spoke cautiously like I was a spooked animal about to attack. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“Well, you did upset me.”

“Princess, I—"

I whirled around on my toes and we came face-to-face (well, face-to-collarbone). The swiftness of my actions must’ve caught him off-guard because he cut himself short mid-sentence and the bulge of his Adam’s apple bobbed nervously in his throat.

The scorching intensity of my gaze was pointed directly up at him now, just daring him to speak another word. He didn’t. His mouth had set into a hard, impenetrable line that represented his oath of silence. It was a smart choice, but, god, he had gotten me so riled up that whether he was smart no longer mattered.

I just couldn’t help myself.

The gap between us shortened as I took a smooth step forward, keeping us connected by the eyes. A challenge in the form of a scornful smile broke across my lips. “No leaning in this time, huh?” I spoke.

Bellamy’s eyes twitched into squints, his jaw clenching in unison. It was strange how he took offence to being called out on something he had done—a common trait in those affected by frequently un-called-out arrogance, no doubt. I’d have to start helping him out with that.

A bomb was ticking beneath his skin and I knew firsthand how short the fuse was. Subconsciously, I think I wanted to blow it. Subconsciously, I think I enjoyed it: the arguing, the tension, the heat. I enjoyed how we knew exactly what set each other off and how intimate knowing such information about one another was. I enjoyed getting in his face and him getting in mine.

I enjoyed the moments when it would become blatantly obvious that the tension between us never originated from a place of hate or malice, but from somewhere deeper, fleshier.

Or was I so impaired that it was really just me?

Thoughts calculated behind his hooded gaze—of hate, of malice, of flesh, I wasn’t sure. And just when I thought he wasn’t going to reply at all, his neck hollowed with a deep inhale, and he leaned down to my height. My heart dropped to an unspeakable place. His breath was hot on the tip of my ear, “Did you want me to lean in?”

I stared at his shoulder, trying to conceal the shiver trickling down my neck and over my breasts and much, much further below. He lingered in place for a half-second longer before returning to full height. Can you guess the shape his lips made as he scanned my perplexed expression? It’s not difficult.

I was going to slap him. Not out of dislike: but because how dare he make me want him so badly? And in front of so many people? And without even knowing that I actually did want him and it wasn’t just the alcohol that was making us both sexually frustrated?

I swear to god I was going to slap him. My hand flexed, but before I could act, the universe made evident that it was on Bellamy’s side.

The sudden bellow of horns signalled a change of song. Our attention was dragged away from one another, turning to the celebratory howls and shouts echoing between those surrounding the bonfire. The flames had exploded to new heights as someone fed more wood to the base. It burned so brightly, so dangerously that if I didn’t know any better, I’d have mistaken it for a god.

The horns vibrated in the air, repeating over and over as more instruments were introduced to create something dark and haunting. Slowly, I began to smile. I knew what I was going to do now, and it certainly wasn’t slapping the smirk off of Bellamy Blake’s face.

“Sorry, Blake,” I voiced over the music. We were looking at each other now; somehow in those ten seconds we were distracted I must’ve sucked him dry of pride and consumed it myself, because I now wore the smirk, and he wore the confusion. One last time, I downed a gulp of my drink and said, “Places to be.”

And then I was gone, heading straight for the crowd of orange-skinned dancers, slick, sweating bodies, and pulsating horns. I’d hoped that last drink would kick in fast, especially if Bellamy’s eyes were to be as vigilant as ever.

part three {to be written}

[starrihan]

100 Percent (Jay Fic)

-> Pairing: Jay x afab! Reader

-> Plot: You work at a bar and you frequently see this customer you have developed a crush on and decide to ask him for a generous tip

-> Genre: smut, business man! Jay x bar tender! Reader, dom! Jay, sub! Reader, fingering, oral (f. receiving), piv sex, no protection (wrap it up), alcohol and drinking,

-> Ft. Natty from Kiss of Life, Huening Kai from TXT, all the enha boys minus Sunoo and Niki

-> Warnings: none

-> Word Count: 6,800

-> Notes: not proofread! I was having a bit of trouble ending the fic so if it seems rushed or bad its cuz I couldn't figure out how to end it

༄ ༄ ༄

Tonight was just another average night for you. You had a closing shift at the bar, which you preferred over the morning shift. Seeing the time close in on 5:30 p.m, you opted to grab a snack before touching up your makeup and fixing your shirt, making sure your cleavage was slightly exposed– the best way to earn tips from sleazy men. 

The bar was within walking distance, only being about a 5 minute walk away. You liked this job, it provided good money. Although it wasn’t the most conventional, it was pretty easy for the most part, and the tips were an added bonus. You had a few regulars, ones that you could rely on to make good money. 

After flunking out of college, you didn’t really have many options on what to do for work. You didn’t want to go back home, your parents would just give you a hard time. You didn’t want to go back to school, you flunked out for a reason. So you settled for this. 

You slipped out of your small apartment, grabbing a coffee from a nearby cafe before making your way to the bar. You clock in and start your shift. 

“Y/N!! I’m so glad you’re here! This shift has been rough,”

Your co-worker, Natty, sighed. 

“First, a drunk guy spilled his drink all over me and I couldn’t even change because it was busy. It was at 3 pm and it’s Saturday! Then, like an hour later these guys started fighting over a tab. Kai had to help me break them up and they both paid but neither of them left a tip.”

“Damn, that’s brutal. At least you get to leave now right?” You try to ease her pain a little. She just looks at you and sighs again, wiping down the table before going to clock out.

Saturdays were the busiest days at the bar. You were thankful that your other co-worker, Kai, was working with you tonight. You could always rely on him to break up fights and keep customers at bay. Even though his looks were youthful, he was big and buff, which often intimidated the obnoxious drunk men that would hit on you or give you a hard time. 

Mentally preparing yourself for the shift, it started off calm. There was always a slow period between 5-7 o’clock, as most people were out eating dinner or deemed it too early to start drinking. It was after that time that the flow of customers increased. You were steady making drinks for your customers, engaging in some small talk here and there, making sure to flirt a little. 

It was a little closer to 9 pm when you saw 4 men walk in. You didn’t think much of it until they took the 4 seats right in front of you. All 4 of them were handsome, but the one in the middle caught your eye. His hair was slicked back, two pieces falling at the side of his face. They were all dressed pretty formally, they had probably just come after an event. You didn’t think much of it. 

“What can I get started for you handsome boys?”

The tallest guy with red hair spoke up,

“Can we get 4 whiskey sours please?”

“4 whiskey sours, got it”

You said, getting started on the drinks and opening a tab for them. You looked up from making the first two for a moment, noticing that the one you were eyeing before was looking at you. He gave you a quick smile. You finish making the drinks and set them all in front of the men. The one with longer black hair giving you a quick ‘thank you.’ He had a cute accent. 

One by one, they ordered more drinks. The red haired one and the one with the accent were red in the face, indicating that they were drunk. The other 2 guys seemed fine, the taller one was the quiet one amongst them, quietly sipping on his drinks and listening to the others' conversation. 

“Excuse me, um…? I’m sorry, I don’t know your name but can I close out the tab?”

The guy with the slicked back hair asked, black card in hand. 

“My name’s Y/N. And yes, I can close out your tab for you.”

You take his card, fingers brushing ever so slightly. You swipe it and give it back to him.

“Thank you, Jay”

You say, glancing at the name on the card. He chuckles before putting it away. The other guys patted his shoulders and gave him loud thanks for paying for their drinks tonight.

“You guys have all had something to drink tonight, do you need to call an uber or are you walking home?”

“Oh no, we have our friend coming to pick us up. We’re waiting for him.”

He glances down at the receipt, specifically the tip section. 

“How much do you want as a tip?”

You were thrown off at the question, never having been asked that before. You didn’t want to come off rude or ungrateful. He looks up at you when you don’t respond after a few seconds.

“It's not a trick question. The bill came out to $73.”

You look at him, realizing he wasn't joking.

“$27? Make it an even $100?”

He laughs before writing it down on the receipt before handing it back to you.

“Be more confident in your answer next time. Have a good night.”

He shoots you a wink before walking out with his friends. You look down at the receipt and smile, blushing at his wink.

“Do we think he’s cute?”

Kai nudges your shoulder with his, joking around with you.

“He’s cute.”

Is all you say back to him. You hope you’ll see him there again. 

༄ ༄ ༄

The next couple days go by like normal. Going out in the mornings, hanging out with friends and coming back to your apartment before 3 p.m to get ready for your shift. 

The next time you see Jay was on another night shift on a Saturday. It had been two weeks since you last saw him. Normally, you wouldn’t remember people who you’d only seen once, but you couldn’t get him out of your head. He took a seat a little further away than where he had sat last time.

“Welcome back Jay. What can I get started for ya?”

He smiled at the fact that you remembered his name. He looked even better today. He was wearing formal clothes again, but this time a suit instead of a button up like last time. He was also by himself. 

“Just an old fashioned please, thanks.” 

You nod your head, making the drink in front of him. You hand it to him before imploring about his suit.

“Did you have a party or event tonight?”

“Just a work event. My friends and I all work at this company. The end of the year always has many events, awards ceremonies and such.” 

“I see. You look good.” 

You walk away from him, tending to another customer, but you don’t miss the smirk on his face as you walk off. For the rest of the night, Jay only orders drinks from you. It’s nearing 12 a.m again, when Jay calls you over to close his tab. 

When you hand him back the receipt, you anticipate that he’ll ask you how much to tip again. But he doesn’t. Instead, he adds a 50% tip. 

“Thank you for the drinks tonight Y/N. I hope you have a wonderful night.” 

“You’re welcome. Have a good night Jay.” 

He gives you another wink before leaving the bar. He only had about $12 worth of drinks. You wondered why he was in here by himself. Maybe he just wanted to be alone? You brushed it off, finishing your duties for the rest of night before heading home. 

༄ ༄ ༄

Over the past few months, this became routine. Jay would come in almost every other week, mostly dressed up, so you knew he had come there from work. Other times he was just out with his friends for a casual Saturday night out. You got to know him and his friends a little better. 

Heeseung, the one with red hair, who would try and crack jokes with you every now and then. Jake, the one with the accent, who would playfully flirt with you, but it was all good fun. And Sunghoon, the quiet one that would space out a lot. He didn't drink too much and would contribute to conversation here and there, but he was mostly there for his friends. And of course, Jay, who you learned was the head of the office that he worked at, his friends working alongside him. He was sweet and funny, making jokes and making his friends laugh. And he always paid for their drinks. He always tipped 50% no matter how big or small the bill was. He was also your favorite customer. 

“Hey Y/N!”

You looked over and realized it was Jake that had called your name. 

“Yes? Do you need a refill?” 

“Haha, no. I was gonna ask if you could take a shot with us? Jay just got promoted, so we’re here to celebrate him tonight!” 

You look over and see Jay looking away from you, a very faint blush and big smile on his face. 

“Normally I’m not allowed to drink on the job, but I guess I can make an exception for tonight,”

You said, preparing 5 shot glasses. You turn to Jay,

“Pick your poison,”

Something about the way you had looked at him and agreed to take a shot to celebrate him had Jay feeling excited. The look you gave him going straight to his dick.

“Vodka”

You raise your eyebrows at him and pour the vodka into the shot glasses. 

“This one’s on me,”

You say. The boys beside Jay cheered and clinked their glasses together, which you did as well. They all laughed while you took the glasses back, but Jay couldn’t stop staring at you. The way you sauntered off with the glasses had him captivated. You return to see him staring at you. 

“Congratulations Jay. I’m sure you deserve the promotion you got,”

Was the last thing you said to him before walking off to someone else. He couldn’t tell if you were flirting with him or just being nice and he couldn’t tell if it was because you meant it or because it was part of your job. 

“You should just go ask her out already. If you keep staring she’s gonna think you’re a creep,” 

Sunghoon piped up after noticing that Jay didn’t take his eyes off of you. 

“Mind your business Sunghoon,”

He spit back. 

He couldn’t explain why seeing you talk to other men– paying customers who you had to service– would make him jealous. While you didn’t have to flirt with them, you wanted to make more tips. Plus, you were single, so to you, it didn’t matter if you had meaningless flirtations with people that had no significance to you. But to Jay, it was like you were cheating on him. He knew it was a stretch, he knew that you weren’t his to claim. But with the way you acted towards him, he couldn’t help but think that you wanted him like he wanted you. 

Over the last few months, Jay’s friends had gotten to know about his little crush on you. They would always tease him when you would walk away and even on nights that they knew he was going to the bar. At first, it was a coincidence that you were bartending the nights he would come in. But soon, he would come just to see you. He hasn’t had a crush on someone in a while and forgot what it was like to have one. But he knew he had a crush on you, and he wanted to pursue it. 

It was close to closing time and you had been called over by the boys again.

“Hey, Y/N! We’d like to close our tab please!”

It was Sunghoon that had called you over this time. You noticed that Jay had gotten up, probably going to the bathroom. 

“Whose card is it on tonight? Surely you’re not gonna make Jay pay for it, right?”

“Of course not! This one’s on me!”

Jake said, handing you his card.

“This is what Jay would have tipped you,”

He remarks, doubling the bill.

“Normally I would think his usual 50% is too much but 100%? That’s crazy, I can’t accept that.”

“Please just take it. This is what he would have tipped if he was paying tonight, and he would kill me if he found out I was doing this for him but just take it.”

You didn’t want to fight him on it, the sentiment making you blush. You would have to thank him personally. But why would he tip you 100% instead of his usual 50%? You were about to ask when you noticed Jay coming back. You decided not to say anything now. 

“Are you guys ready to go? Jungwon said he’s almost here!”

Jay said, wiping his wet hands on his clothes. The bathroom must have been out of napkins. 

“Yeah, let's go!”

Heeseung got up, collecting all their belongings and putting on his jacket as it was getting cold out. 

“Okay, you guys go ahead! I’ll pay and we can leave.”

“Don’t worry about it! I got it.”

Jake said, to which Jay looked surprised. He looked at his friends fondly, and smiled. 

“Thank you.”

They all turned to you and wished you a goodnight, before filtering out of the bar. You waved them goodbye before noticing that one of them had left their wallet on the counter. You quickly grabbed it, opening it to see that it was Jay’s. You ran out of the bar, hoping that they hadn’t left yet. To your luck, you see them getting into a car down the street. You ran up to the car, slightly out of breath as it was down the road and across the street and there were a couple of cars driving by. 

“Wait! You left this!” 

You yell to Jay. He looks at you with concern before noticing his wallet in your hand. You hand it back to him, placing your hands on your knees to catch your breath. He helps hold you up. 

“I appreciate you running out here to give me my wallet but it’s cold! Here!”

He swings his jacket over you which you grip, the cold only now setting in after the mini adrenaline rush was wearing off, causing you to shiver.  

“It’s fine! I’m about to go back inside anyways, I don’t need your jacket”

“Then why are you gripping onto it like you do?” 

He raised his eyebrow, tonguing his cheek before smirking at you. You glared at him before letting a small laugh slip out. 

“I have enough jackets so you can have that one. Plus I’ll be back soon if you wanna give it back to me. But get back to the bar. You have to close, right?”

You nod and smile at him, saying your goodbyes before heading back to the bar. Unable to wipe the smile off your face, Natty notices and laughs.

“What, were you making out with him out there? What took you so long?” 

She noticed the unfamiliar jacket adorning your shoulders.

“And you got his jacket too? He must be in love with you.” 

You playfully smack her arm at her outlandish delusions. 

“Oh please. I just went to return his wallet.”

“And flirt a little maybe? You know we have a lost and found here right , he could’ve come back tomorrow.” 

“Well yeah but… wallets are important. He probably needs it…”

She laughs at you struggling to find an excuse. 

“You have a crush on him, big deal. You know he likes you too right? Why else would he be staring at you and tipping you 50% and giving you a jacket to wear when you were only outside for 2 minutes?”

Everything she was saying to you made sense. You couldn’t help but feel a little tingle throughout your body, almost buzzing at the thought of Jay liking you back. You wouldn’t call what you felt for Jay a crush per se, but you did get giddy whenever he was coming in. You loved the way he’d stare at you and the jokes he would make. He always made you laugh. His subtle flirting would always get you a little riled up. And you couldn’t miss the little spark you’d feel whenever your hands would accidentally touch. Or the need you’d feel at the end of the night that you wouldn’t notice until after he left. 

Maybe you did have a crush…

༄ ༄ ༄

It had been a couple of days since you last saw Jay, his jacket finding its place hooked up on the back of your chair. You always meant to take it down to the bar with you, but you always forgot. Today was no different, forgetting to take it with you before you slipped out of your apartment. 

The cafe you usually went to was closed for the day because the owners were on vacation so you opted to go to another cafe. There was one in a business building nearby so you went to that one instead. You walk in and wait in line, giving your order like normal when you get up to the register. 

“That’ll be $4.45”

“Alright, here you go,”

You say, handing the cashier the money. He puts it in the register and then stares at you for a moment. 

“You look familiar… oh! You’re the girl that was giving Jay back his wallet at the bar! And the one he gave his jacket to that night!”

You smile at his bubbly personality.

“Oh right! You must be Jungwon then? I know you’re always the one that drives them back. They’re very thankful of you.”

“They better be, I have to be up early for class and work and still drive them around at 12 a.m when they’re drinking, especially now that they go so often. I’m picking them up tonight too.”

He says, rolling his eyes while you laugh at his sassy comments.

“If you don’t mind me asking, how do you know them?”

“Oh you don’t know? They all work here, at Belift. Jay’s the COO while the rest are under him after he got the promotion. I work here at the cafe but they all come down so often I know them pretty well by now. I’m surprised he hasn’t told you about it yet.”

You were shocked to say the least. You didn’t know how successful Jay was, that he was almost CEO of a major company in your city. At such a young age too. 

“We don’t really get to talk all that much since it gets busy around the time that they all come in. He did tell me about the promotion, I just didn’t know what it was for.”

You look behind you, a line having formed during your conversation. 

“I should get going, I don’t wanna hold up the line. But it was nice to meet you Jungwon! And thank you again for the coffee!” 

He says his goodbyes to you before you walk out the door and head to the bar. You smile to yourself at the thought of Jay being at the bar tonight. You walk into the bar and are greeted by both Kai and Natty. 

“What are you both doing here?”

Usually, it’s only you and 1 other person at the bar. It was a smaller bar and while it did get popular on Saturdays, there weren't ever more people than 2 of you could handle. 

“You didn’t hear? It’s the last weekend before finals, and the boss is running a special where drinks are half off for the whole night. The college students are gonna flood in here. It’s gonna be a full house tonight.” 

Kai said to you, cleaning off the tables and getting new bottles prepped and ready for the incoming crowd. 

“Boss said he needed all three of us here today since it was gonna be really busy. But that just means we’re gonna get more tips than ever from those college boys!” 

Natty chimed up, excited about the extra money that will be made from tonight. 

“Not to mention that we’re getting paid time and a half to be here today!”

You smile at them, helping them prepare for the night. 

At first it’s slow. The bar opens at 5 p.m so you didn’t expect many people to be there for the first hour or two. Around 8 o’clock is when it started to get busy. And by 9 o’clock, you're slammed. There are more people than you’ve ever seen at the bar right now, even the three of you working quickly wasn’t enough. 

“I’ve been waiting here for 20 minutes but you’re cute so I’ll let it slide.”

Your ears perk up at the voice flirting with you. You quickly finish your task before walking over to him.

“I’m so sorry to keep you waiting love, what is it that you would like?”

“Love? That's a new one. But I like it. And I’ll have my usual, pretty.”

You were so busy, it had totally slipped your mind that Jungwon had said he would be back tonight, indicating that Jay would be at the bar. Your shameless flirting had only progressed the more often you saw him. Flirting was basically in your job description, but you had never enjoyed flirting with any of your customers. Only Jay. You rung his usual, to which he gave you his card to open a tab as always. He was by himself today, which wasn’t odd, but he couldn’t get his eyes off of you. The flirting was definitely getting to him, making it harder for him to resist asking you out. You’d notice his stares burning into you, wanting him to do something about it. You felt hot under his gaze, most nights wishing he would just take you on the bar table. 

You continue about your shift, relieved that it was finally slowing down close to midnight. You know that this was normally the time that Jay would leave so you were surprised when he continued to order more drinks. 

“Don’t tell me that poor Jungwon is so tired from picking you up that you have no ride for tonight?”

He just laughed, sipping on his drink and pushing his hair back and out of his face.

“I appreciate your concern for him but no, he’s still gonna pick me up. I just don’t want to leave yet. Afraid I’ll miss you too much if I do.”

You’re leaning on the counter while talking to him. He can’t help the way his eyes flick down from your eyes to your chest, up to your lips and then back up to your eyes. You smirk, knowing that you’ve got his attention, but playing a little hard to get with your words. 

“You flatter me Jay. Just don’t keep your little cafe worker running around too late. Poor boy probably has finals this week like the rest of these college kids do.”

You shoot him a wink before going off to attend to the other customers, though you wished you could talk to him for just a bit longer. 

༄ ༄ ༄

Usually the bar closes at midnight, but because today was special, you were open till 2 a.m. Little by little, the patrons of the bar see themselves out, only a couple people left, including Jay.

“It’s closing time, love. I need to close your tab.”

With what's basically routine at this point, he hands you his card and smiles. 

“What do you want as a tip tonight, love?”

He asks, using the same nickname you had used on him all night. You pretend to ponder before looking him in the eye. Remembering him telling you to be more confident the next time he asked you this question, you didn’t hesitate in your answer.”

“100 percent.”

He raises his eyebrows before cracking a half-sided smile. 

“100% huh? For that kind of tip I would’ve expected more than having to wait 20 minutes between drinks.”

“Last time you were here when you got your promotion, Jake told me you would’ve tipped me 100% and gave me just that. Why is that? 

He was taken aback and just looked at you like a deer in headlights. He was going to have to pummel Jake later for saying that. You really did want an answer, but before he could speak up, you beat him to it, basically confirming your feelings for him was the same as his feelings for you. 

“100 percent. Your jacket is in my apartment. Maybe I’ll let you come up and grab it.”

You looked at him with the innocence of a bunny but the intonation of a siren. You knew you wanted him, and after his hesitation, you confirmed that he wanted you too. The way you said it, you weren’t inviting him to your apartment to grab his stupid jacket and he knew it too, licking his lips as he grabs a pen. 

“My jacket you say? Consider it a trade.”

You can almost hear the need in his voice as he scribbles ‘100’ on the tip line. 

“That's $100, not 100 percent? Your tab was only $30.”

“Oh really? Well, consider it as an extra tip, for letting me get my jacket back. I’ll be waiting for you outside.”

He grabs his card from your hand and walks out. Your heart is racing, realization dawning on you that you were actually about to have Jay over at your apartment. The idea of it was crazy but the wetness collecting between your legs at the thought of Jay taking you in your apartment was enough to make you forget how crazy it actually was. Quickly closing out the rest of the tabs and helping the other two clean up, you rush outside, seeing Jay standing by the front door. 

“Someone’s eager to give me my jacket back.”

“Don’t make me change my mind.”

He laughs at your rebuttal, standing slightly behind you as you walk back to your apartment. The implications of what the next hour would hold made your panties slick with need, Jay’s pants seeming to tighten at the thought of finally getting to have you. 

You arrive at your apartment door, making small conversation along the way. You unlock your door embarrassingly quickly, silently hoping Jay didn’t catch on to how needy you were just yet. You invite him inside, kicking off your shoes. 

The atmosphere shifts a little, going from lighthearted and lustful to an uneasy silence. He doesn’t know why he can’t say anything, almost like he’s stunned that he’s actually in your apartment. This is not something he’d normally do, go back to seemingly a stranger’s house to have sex with them. Was he nervous? 

“The jacket is in my room. I’ll go grab it for you,”

You say. You don’t know what you were hoping for, but you wanted him to do something. Instead, his eyes just follow your disappearing figure. He was frozen in place, not knowing how to proceed next. His mind was running a million miles a minute, trying to decide whether or not he should follow you to the room, if that’s what you were wanting. What if that’s not what you wanted and he was just in over his head? What if you didn’t want to have sex with him? You walk back out with his jacket in your hand, finding any excuse to keep him here just a bit longer.

“Do you want a cup of water or anything?” 

“I want you.”

He remarks, finding the courage and sliding his hand around your waist and capturing your lips with his own. You bring your free hand up to his neck, the other still holding his jacket, silently cheering that he made the first move. He didn’t know why he was so nervous to put his hands on you. As if you hadn’t been flirting like crazy every time he saw you. 

His hands slowly roamed your body, tongue darting out to swipe your bottom lip, asking for permission to enter your mouth. You part your lips in a moan, giving him the perfect opportunity to slip his tongue in. His hands go down to squeeze your ass a little, trailing kisses down to your neck while you pant trying to catch your breath.

“Mmhm Jay…” 

You moaned a little, making his semi-hard dick even harder, feeling it against your leg. 

“Fuck Y/N, you’re so sexy I’ve thinking about this for weeks now,” 

He says, lips never leaving your neck. He bites down a little hard, causing you to let out a whimper. 

“M-me too… been thinking about you all night…” 

He pulls away from your neck, grabbing his jacket from your hand and throwing it onto your couch as he takes you to your bedroom. You lived alone so there was no point in closing the door. He takes off his shirt before laying you down on your bed, connecting your lips once again. You hadn’t noticed it, but he came wearing regular clothes today, not a fancy suit or button up. You reluctantly pull away, tugging off your shirt and bra, leaving both of your upper bodies bare. 

“Holy god you are beautiful,”

He says, attaching his lips to your nipple and using the other to rub circles into your waist. You gently pull his hair, moaning at the contact and grinding up into him. The action causing you both to let out moans as he switches his attention from your left nipple to your right, unbuttoning your jeans with his free hand and gently caressing your clothed pussy. Your moans send his mind into a frenzy, kissing down your chest and abdomen until he reaches your core. You lift your hips up eagerly, signaling him to take your pants off. He lets out a chuckle, shucking your jeans and panties to a random corner of the room.

“It’s like I said before, someone’s eager.”

You don’t fight back, needing some form of contact.

“And you’re so wet for me too, what should I do with you?”

He teases, running just his index finger up and down your slit. Your mewls only make him want to tease you more, cherishing the little noises you’re making when he’s barely even touching you. Makes him wonder what you’d be like begging for his dick. He inserts one of his fingers without warning, gauging your reaction.

“J-Jay!”

You almost yell at the intrusion, not prepared for him to enter you so suddenly. You let yourself relax before slightly moving yourself on his finger, needing more. He picks up on your movements, thrusting his finger in and out, adding a second one. His face is so close to your clit, you can feel his breath on it. He tests the waters, gently blowing on your clit to which you jolt up. He smirks before dipping his face into your pussy, giving your clit a little lick.

“Jay please, please use your tongue on me!”

You’re all but begging him at this point, growing increasingly more wet at his teasing. 

“I love it when you beg for me babygirl, as you wish,”

He says, fully attaching his lips to your clit, licking and sucking like his life depends on it. The pleasure is building up exponentially, causing a familiar, yet new feeling to build in your core. 

“Jay I’m…”

And before you can finish your sentence, you’re gushing fluid, squirting all over his face.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry Jay!”

You yell frantically, embarrassed at your actions. 

“You just squirted all over my face… Can you do that on my dick?”

He asks to your surprise. He removes his finger from you, causing you to whine at the empty feeling, only to remove his jeans and boxers, pulling you closer to him and lining up his dick with your entrance. He collects your slick on his fingers and pumps himself a few times. He nods his head at you, to which you nod back, giving him permission to enter. 

He slowly pushes into you, groaning every second of the way, until he’s fully sheathed himself inside you. Your eyes fly open as he enters, gasping at how big he is. He slowly thrusts in, letting you adjust as he moves. His hands are gripping your hips tightly, pushing through your tight hole almost ensuring that you’ll be left with some bruising in the morning. Your hands are gripping the sheets underneath you, waiting for the slight sting to be replaced with pleasure. 

“You’re so tight, it's even better than I had imagined.”

He leans down to leave kisses on your neck, your hands flying into his hair. He trails his kisses up your neck and jaw, meeting your lips again as he starts thrusting into you with more vigor. You struggle to contain your moans as he hits up right into your spot, the feeling causing a familiar wave of pressure to build up into your core. He breaks the kiss, breathing heavily as your moans grow uncontrollably louder. He all but growls into your ear at your sounds, like music to his ears. 

“J-Jay, please, go faster,”

In an instant, he speeds up his pace without warning, the feeling of your hole clenching around his length eliciting a low grumble from the back of his throat. 

“Please, please, I’m so close!”

“Let it all go for me, baby,”

The moment you squirt out again all over his dick he's pulling it out of you, praying he did it on time. He’s relieved to see his milky white fluid all over your lips, dangerously close to your hole. Your breathing is labored and your throat is dry. Jay wants to collapse next to you, also needing to catch up on his breathing, but spots the tissues on your desk, grabbing them to clean you up before cleaning himself off. 

“That was close. Your pussy was too good, I almost came inside.”

You laugh at his comment while tugging on an oversized t-shirt, relieved that he didn’t come inside.

“Thanks but I should be the one praising you. I’ve never had a guy make me squirt twice.”

Jay’s ego was slightly inflated at the fact, smiling. He puts on his boxers and pants before laying down next to you, catching his breath. You both sit in a comfortable silence, looking up at your ceiling for a while before he breaks it.

"I'm not gonna lie to you, that was probably the best one night stand I've ever had.”

There was the fear of rejection once again. He knew he wanted you as more than a one night stand, but he was too afraid of rejection to bring it up , not wanting to get himself hurt. 

"You have one night stands often then?”

You meant it in a joking way , concealing your disappointment at the thought of never being more than just a good fuck for a guy you had been crushing on for a while. Even through your jest, Jay could hear the slight uneasiness in your voice, after all, he did pay attention to your speech patterns and grew familiar with your confident tone when making jokes. He decided to bite the bullet, who cares if he got rejected? He wouldn’t know unless he asked. 

“Actually, no. This is the first time I've ever done something like this… but if I'm being honest, I hope it’s not the last. I hope I’m not crazy when I say I’ve been crushing on you since we met and that I had a feeling that you’ve been crushing on me as well…”

He lets his voice trail off, nervous of your reaction towards his unexpected confession. One you can’t help but smile at because of how cute it is, despite the current context of your semi-naked bodies settled so comfortably on the bed. 

“What gave it away? The way I’d always service you as soon as I could or the fact that I would spend more time than I should’ve talking to you when I was busy with other customers?” 

“Hmm…”

You turn to rest your head on your hand while facing him, another question from you breaking him out of his search for a response.

“And you never answered my question from earlier but I guess it makes sense now. Jake said you were gonna tip me 100% the night you got your promotion but he didn’t tell me why. I guess I can assume you had already started liking me before then which is why I so confidently had asked for 100% tonight. But I don’t need your money by the way, I just wanted to test my theory and see if you’d actually give it to me.” 

At this point you were rambling and you knew it, but you wanted to get every thought out of your head before you forgot it, starting to feel sleepy after your vigorous activities. He turns so he’s face to face with you. 

“Aren’t you quite the detective? I found you attractive since the first night I walked in. I’m sure I wasn’t subtle about the way I looked at you and how often I looked at you either. But I think what did it was when you came running with my wallet that night. You looked so cute, shivering and acting like you weren’t cold.”

His explanation has you sighing, content at his answer. You just blink at him cutely and smile. 

“You’re very sappy. But I kinda like it,”

He laughs and scoots closer to you, slinging an arm around your waist. 

“Can I kiss you?”

Your smile only grows wider as you nod, leaning in so he can close the space between you.  His hand that’s firmly grasping your waist is rubbing little soothing circles into it while you tangle your fingers in his hair, a kiss much sweeter and slower than the ones you’ve previously shared. You part your lips a little, allowing his tongue to roam your mouth freely. 

Once you decide to break away, you both gaze into eachothers eyes. 

“I would love to take you out. Are you free tomorrow night?” 

“I don’t know, let me think about it… I’m just kidding, yes!” 

You both laugh at your little antics, Jay now sitting up on your bed and looking for his phone. 

“Give me your number so I can text you. I’ll come back here to pick you up tomorrow.” 

He says, hanging you his phone to put your number in. 

“Here’s my number but you have like a million messages from Jungwon”

“Oh shit” 

Caught up in the midst of his excitement, Jay had forgotten to text Jungwon not to come pick him up from the bar. 

“Jay?”

“Where are you?”

“Come outside I’m here”

“The bars closed where are you?” 

“Bro if you don’t come out I’m gonna leave”

“I just checked your location you could’ve told me you went to someone’s house” 

“I’m never picking you up ever again” 

“If if fail my exam on Monday because your bitch ass forgot to tell me that you didn’t need me to pick you up and I don’t have enough time to study I’m gonna take all your money” 

“You suck”

“Fuck you”

You read the messages over his shoulder and laugh, catching his attention.

“Hey!”

“What? You left that poor boy outside waiting 20 minutes for you and you didn’t even tell him that you didn’t need him tonight. You deserve everything he said. You should buy him lunch tomorrow as an apology.”

“Yeah whatever he acts like he studies anyways.” 

He rolls his eyes while you laugh. You get up from your spot on the bed, grabbing you both a cup of water from the kitchen. 

“I’m gonna go shower. Wanna join?” 

You say playfully, walking towards the bathroom and giggling.

“How can I say no to an offer so tempting?”

He laughs and follows behind you, hands already finding your waist as he follows you in, your laughs disappearing throughout the apartment as he closes the door behind him. 

༄ ༄ ༄

[mellifiedprincess]

hey queens :) i do not know how i feel about this one, but i had a little urge to write something and this is what i came up with. teehee. so pls let me know your thoughts! i’m also thinking about writing a little smutty fic about mr. ethan landry, but i’m not that good at smut so we’ll see.

ethan landry x reader

Fuck Ups and Make Ups

“Why do you look so….dead?” You would usually laugh at how blunt Mindy is, but today. Today you were not in a laughing mood. You were having one of the worsts days ever.

“Unfortunately, I’m not dead yet. But! If someone wants to take me out back and shoot me, I would not oppose.” You deadpan.

You watch as Mindy and Anika’s eyes widen, and Tara just looks at you even more confused than before. “Yeah, like your pretty boy would let anyone touch a hair on your head.” Chad states while texting someone. “Seriously though, what’s going on?” He asks as he puts his phone away, letting you know you have his full attention.

“Pretty boy is what’s going on!” You exclaim, slamming your head down on the picnic table. “Huh?”

You say something else, but it’s barely coherent. “Honey, you gotta lift your head up for us to understand you.”

You lift your head up and let out a huff, bringing your knees to your chest, you hug them tight to bring some form of comfort to yourself. “He likes someone else.” If the sadness in your voice wasn’t enough, the sad look on your face was, to make Chad want to get up, find Ethan, and knock some fucking sense into him.

For months. Months, the group has been trying to push Ethan to ask you out. It was so painfully obvious that you both had feelings for one another. And yes, you could ask him out yourself, but you were just too shy. You also didn’t really believe that he could actually like you back. I mean, he was literal perfection in your eyes.

“Why do you think that? Did something happen between you two?” Anika asks, moving from her spot on the ground to sit beside you, wrapping her arms around your body.

“I saw him talking to the new girl, Kennedy, in our sociology class yesterday, and they seemed to really be hitting it off. And then today, instead of sitting beside me, like he always does, he sat by her. I tried to talk to him after class, but he said he was busy and couldn’t talk to me right now and then rushed to catch up with Kennedy.” At this point you had a few tears fall. You were heartbroken by your pretty boy.

“I saw them together too! At our coffee spot, at our table. Like, why would he do that?” You let your head fall to Anika’s shoulder, and she places a chaste kiss to your head. “Why don’t we find out right now? Cause he’s on his way over here.” But before you could turn to look, Chad jumps up to block your view, and you feel Anika push your head back down to her shoulder.

“What’s up guys? I saw your text about Y/N, is she okay?” And for a few seconds, you felt relief. Relief that he did still care. Until you heard her. “Yeah, we had to cut our date short, so Ethan could play therapist.”

“I’m sorry, who are you again?” You could hear the bite in Chads tone. “Oh! I’m Kennedy. Ethan’s told me all about you guys. You must be the condescending alpha. It’s Chad, right?” If you could have seen Ethan’s face, you would have laughed. “Wait- I never said that.” Kennedy looks up at Ethan, fluttering her eyelashes and pouts her lips. “I’m just teasing E!” E? She’s known Ethan for two days and is already calling him by E?

“Can we go now? I’m sure whatever her name is can figure her shit out without you.” Your eyes only widen more. “Ethan, I really think you should talk to Y/N first.” Chad was almost begging Ethan not to leave with Kennedy. There’s a pregnant pause, but you couldn’t see what was going on due to Chad blocking your figure.

“Y/N’s an adult, she can’t rely on me for everything.” Ethan’s words hit you right in the chest. It hurt. It hurt so bad, you couldn’t breathe. Mindy noticed the state you were in and knew you couldn’t talk to Ethan right now. “What the fuck is your problem, dude?” She says as she stands up next to Chad.

“My problem is all of you! You’re all just pissed at me because I’m with someone who’s not Y/N. For months, you have all been on my dick about my feelings for her and how i need to man up and just tell her how I feel, how I need to go ahead and ask her out before it’s too late, but have you ever thought that I don’t fucking want to?” He was digging himself into a hole. He didn’t mean that, not at all. But to you it didn’t matter. He said what he said, and you heard all of it.

“You won’t have to worry about that anymore. Because I never want to see you again.” Ethan’s face pales when he finally notices you there. The fact that he just said all of that in front of you, makes him want someone to take him out back and shoot him. “Wait! Y/N, that didn’t come out the way I wanted it to.”

You almost laugh, and you would have if it weren’t for the doleful feeling in your chest and the tears falling from your eyes. “Leave her alone, man. You’ve said enough.” Chad places a firm hand on Ethan’s chest, stopping him from going after you. “I hope you’re happy. Cause you just lost the person who cares most about you in this world.” Tara’s words hit Ethan hard. He knew they were true, but it still hurt nonetheless.

But there was no way he was gonna let you go, not without fighting for you.

———

It had been two weeks. Two very long, sad weeks. Ethan was a mess, and he couldn’t blame anyone but himself. He still texted you every morning right when he woke up, and every night before he fell asleep. And every time, you would read his message, but never responded.

He hated himself for making you cry, and the look on your face is one he would never forget.

It was also hard for your friends to see how this effected the both of you. You barely left your bed. Only really leaving for classes. The one time you did leave for something other than that, was when Tara and Chad literally dragged you out of your room for a movie night.

Mindy told you that you were better off anyway, but she didn’t know Ethan like you did. You weren’t better off, and there were so many times you almost called him. Just to hear his voice, because it was the only thing that calmed you down after one of your night terrors. They had been more frequent as of late, probably to do with the fact you didn’t have your pretty boy anymore.

But, you never called. You never responded to any of his messages either. The words he spoke all those weeks ago, hurt you more than when Amber stood over your body, thinking she had killed you after her brutal attack.

And here you are now, sitting in front of your friends, who somehow convinced you to have a study picnic with them. They’ve barely looked at their textbooks and notes, too concerned about you to pay them any attention. You haven’t spoken barely a full sentence the whole time you’ve been with them, you have bags under your eyes, and you just don’t seem as glowy as you usually do. You looked exhausted.

“Staring me down won’t make you guys any more prepared for these exams coming up.” You state, not even bothering to look up from your notes. “We’re just worried about you Y/N/N. You just aren’t acting like yourself.” Anika’s voice is soft, almost like she’s afraid she’ll scare you off. “I just haven’t been getting enough sleep. I’ll be fine once exams are over with.”

They all knew you were lying. They all knew you were still heartbroken, and they all knew how much you missed your pretty boy.

…Which is why Chad texted him and told him where you were.

Ethan was in class when he got Chads text. Usually his phone would be off, but he’s had it on everyday since your fight just in case you finally texted him back.

“You better fix things with our pretty girl, she’s not okay and I’m only doing this because we all miss seeing her smile. She’s here studying at the quad with us, don’t fuck this up again.”

Ethan was jumping from his seat the second he finished reading the text. Catching a few odd looks from the people around him, but he didn’t care. He just wanted his girl, who was never officially his girl, back.

Everything he thought he was gonna say left his mind as soon as he got to you. You looked absolutely miserable, and when your friends looked up at him, they couldn’t believe how miserable he looked too.

You held your face in your hands as tears of exhaustion fell down your cheeks. You felt like a baby. But you finally hit your breaking point, sobbing uncontrollably. You couldn’t breath and all you wanted was the comfort of Ethan’s arms around you. “Y/N/N? What do you need us to do?” Tara tried to comfort you the best she could, running her hands up and down your arms.

“Can someone please get Ethan? I just really need him right now.” At your words everyone looked up at him with a look of, ‘we will kill you if you don’t fix this.’

He almost tripped over his own feet trying to get to you as quick as possible. “I’m already here, angel.” He said softly as he kneeled down beside you. He then slowly removed your hands from your eyes, and you immediately wrapped your arms around his shoulders and shove your face into his neck.

“I’m gonna take you back to my place, okay?” Ethan could tell you’ve barely slept, and you always said you got the best sleep with him in his bed. “Okay.” You mumble out, before pulling away from the comfort of Ethan’s embrace.

———

After bidding your friends goodbye, Ethan grabs your hand in his and doesn’t let go until you’ve made it inside his dorm. His eyes follow your form as you make your way to his room, he had so much he wanted to say to you, but was afraid it wouldn’t be enough.

When you reach his room, you go straight for his closet, wanting to be out of the uncomfortable jeans and crop top. Your hands delicately run across Ethan’s shirts, missing the feeling of the material on your skin. It’s dumb, you think. How a simple piece of clothing can bring you so much comfort, all because of who it belonged to.

“Oh, here! I put your favorite t-shirt away so nothing would happen to it. I’ll be right back.” Ethan hands you the old graphic tee, before going into his adjoined bathroom. You quickly change and sit down on his bed, already feeling the tension leaving your body.

When Ethan returns, he’s also changed into comfier clothes. He’s also holding a pack of makeup wipes, that he always kept there just in case you needed them.

He sits against the headboard, eyes meeting yours before patting his lap, signaling for you to take perch in. “Come here.” He says softly, dark eyes never leaving yours. You tiredly make your way over to him, not really knowing what to expect. But he only opens the pack of make-up wipes and with a touch so soft, you barely feel it, he wipes your ruined makeup off. And even though he’s done this for you a million times before, this time feels so incredibly different.

Ethan thinks he’s somehow fucked up again, as he noticed the slight wobble of your lips, followed by tears gathering in your eyes once again. He drops the wipe, and cups your face instead. You feel the pads of his thumbs wipe your fallen tears and you can’t help but ask, “Why did you say it?”

And he just looks at you. Big brown doe eyes, staring right into your soul.

“I’m in love with you, Y/N.” He gives you a sad smile, rubbing his knuckles against your cheek. “And when I realized how in love with you I actually am, I got scared. And I’m still scared, because if there’s one thing I’m really good at, it’s fucking up all the good things I have in my life. It’s not an excuse for how I acted, and I wish I would have just told you how I felt instead of causing all of this. Instead of causing tears to fall down your pretty face.” You could tell by the conviction in his voice he meant every word he said.

“I just-“ He pauses and continues to look at you, waiting for you to reject him. Waiting for you to tell him it’s too late and the damage is done, and there’s no repairing it.

Instead, you lean forward and place a hand on his chest for support, before placing your lips on his.

Ethan stops breathing for a few seconds. He couldn’t believe he was finally kissing the girl of his dreams. He couldn’t believe that a fuck up like him, got someone like you. And the kiss. The kiss was just how you both imagined it would be. Slow at first, learning the others patterns, but once you figured it out, it became more heated. You could feel the others want, you could feel every ounce of love the two of you had for each other.

After a few more pecks, you pull away. “I’m in love with you too, E.” Ethan’s face lights up, and he just smiles at you. “Does this mean I can officially call you my girlfriend?” You giggle and nod with a smile as big as his. “Yes, pretty boy. You can call me your girlfriend.”

Ethan wraps his arms around you, and moves your body to lay down with him. Your head immediately going to his chest as you feel his fingers run through your hair. “Well I have a lot of making up to do, so to start off, let’s get you to sleep. Because I know you haven’t been sleeping like you should.” “Do I look that awful?” You ask, looking up at him with raised eyebrows.

“No, sweet girl. You look beautiful. But I know you won’t go to anyone else about your night terrors, and your body language is off. Now, just close your eyes and go to sleep. I promise I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“Okay.” And for a second it’s completely silent. Ethan thinking you had already fallen asleep places a kiss to your forehead and brings you closer to his chest. “I love you so much.” He whispers, finally closing his tired eyes.

“I love you too.”

[idk6123]

Puppeteer The Puppeteer (Homelander X Male Reader)

With The Seven constantly being on the hot seat, Homelander only wishes one thing during days like these, control. He wishes there were a way The Deep do less dumb stuff. He wishes A-Train wasn’t some junkie that relies on drugs to use his powers. He wishes he could actually trust Starlight. He wishes Queen Maeve actually would listen to him and stop hating him. He wishes Translucent was still alive. He was fine with Black Noir.

With the lack of a member, he wishes someone more reliable to have in the team. Someone that meets all of his requirements, strong, obedient, trustworthy, basically everything that lacks with his current team. Thus, he got Ashley to scout for potential heroes.

“…And by doing this, we will be keeping up with the trend for more inclusivity.”

Homelander frowns and drops the information file on his desk. “You really think someone blind and in a wheelchair would fit the team?”

“She may be handicapped, but she’s strong. Besides, we never had a handicapped person in The Seven.”

“True, but we do have one in the PR team.” Homelander ruthlessly comment. Without even looking at the offended Ashley, the blonde looks through the files of how he finds interestingly enough to take even a peek.

“Luckily, we many other candidates. I’m sure we can reach a compromise-” Homelander drops the files on the side. Then he gestures to Ashley to give him the files she’s holding. She’s quick to give it to him, making him to look again. “We have plenty of strong heroes who will make the public-” She then stops talking when Homelander stops browsing to look at one file in particular. Judging by his face, he found his new hero. “Who’re you looking at?”

With a satisfied smirk, Homelander continues to look through the file. “We got our new member.”

-

“I highly advice to not get him.” In the hallway, Ashley is following Homelander, who’s meeting his new teammate. “He just made his break as a hero. He only got 11 followers on Instagram, most of them being family members. He caught only 2 burglars. He’s an introvert and I’m not surprised he only leave the house to do grocery shopping. The only good thing is that he’s gay, but I got 100 gay guys on my list.”

“I don’t care about them. I want him.” Homelander insist. He doesn’t stop walking. Not even looking at Ashley as he talks. “And if you’re going to have trouble having him good PR, that is your problem.” With that, Homelander enters his office, with Ashley following him with stress.

Inside of the office, Homelander is quick to see the young man, who looks a bit nervous. He stands up to give his new boss a nervous smile. “It’s an honor meeting you, sir.”

Homelander accepts his hand, smiling back at him. “Please drop the formalities. Please treat me like you treat your friends.”

After introductions, Y/N sit back on his seat, while Homelander is sitting opposite of him. Ashley is standing at the side, wondering what her boss is up to. “I have to say, I’m quite surprised I received a call. I just started all of this, and I’m already being recognized by The Seven.”

“There is a reason for that.” Homelander shows a kind smile. “You got a gift like no other, Y/N. “I never seen a telepath that has such potential like you have. I know you’re an amateur right now, but I can see in front of me a hero that will save millions of lives.”

Y/N blushes a bit, didn’t expecting to receive so many complements from his idol. “T-Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. If you don’t mind, I would like to see you demonstrating your powers. I want to see how good you are right now.” Homelander requests. “I want you to tell me something embarrassing of Ashley.”

Ashley looks alarmed, with Y/N being taken a little aback. “…I don’t use my powers on people casually unless necessary.”

“Don’t worry. She’s fine with it.” Homelander brushes it off. Although not wanting it, Ashley merely forced a painful smile. “Besides, considering this is about your future, don’t you think it’s necessary?”

Y/N knows things seems off, but this is ones in a lifetime chance. So, he uses his powers. Within a second, his face looks disgusted. “What kind of BDSM shit are you in?”

Homelander looks amused as Ashley looks even more embarrassed. “I don’t even need her to confirm it that you did it.” He then leans over. “Now for my final request. I want you to use your mind control power, take over Ashley’s mind and do something ridiculous in the hallway.”

“Wait-!”

Before Ashley could beg for Y/N not to, he did, though he feels a bit guilty. Her entire face only shows some hollowness. As she walks to the hallway, Homelander smirks and stand up. Both men get out of the hallway to see what’s going to happen. There, Ashley stands in the middle of it, with people passing by, not knowing what is going to happen.

“Attention! People! Attention!” Every worker in the hallway looks at her. “I need to confess something! Yesterday, we had a party back at my house, but I didn’t invited most of you. I want to apologize for sleeping in front of some of you and I was advised to go to the doctors.” Every worker frowns at hearing her. “I also want to apologize for the… ‘bathroom’ incident. I shouldn’t drink that much, and I got karma for it. I puked over some of you… and I’m sure you also saw me shitting in my pants at the same time. Again, I’m apologize, and I’m hope we can work normally from now on.” With that, she walks away. When she’s gone from the scene, Y/N let go of her mind.

Homelander looks proud at him as he put his hand on Y/N’s shoulder. “Congratulations teammate. You’re in.”

-

Somehow, Ashley managed to create a story surrounding the new Seven member. Y/N apparently helped Homelander during a mission as a rookie, without knowing the big hero were there. Because of it, Homelander took the newly hero under his wing and train him. The whole spin is basically a sidekick and coach relationship, which worked well for the public.

Right now, it’s the first interview for the new hero. As he awaits in the lounge room, he nervously thinks through the interview, playing it in his mind. Homelander walks in, knowing Y/N is stressing.

“You don’t look too good, buddy.”

“…I never got interviewed before, that’s all.” Y/N nervously steps on the ground. “Especially not one at national tv.”

Homelander gives him an assures smile as he walks over to him. “Remember you can just be yourself. It’s alright to be shy. In fact, Ashley would love to represent someone more introverted on the big screen. Just be humble, nice and honest, exactly how we met. Think you can do that?”

Y/N hums. “Yeah. I’m not one for scripts to be honest. But I’m fine lying if it makes you guys lives a bit easier.”

Homelander looks proud. “That’s my sidekick.” He put an arm around the younger man, who looks a bit nervous. “And don’t worry. I’m going to sit right besides you if you need me.”

Y/N can’t help but smile. “Thanks.”

-

Y/N been accustom quiet well in The Seven. He and Starlight became quick friends. He took training sessions with Queen Maeve. He and Black Noir often spend time together, since both aren’t much talkers. He got stamina training from A-Train. He doesn’t talk to The Deep because he’s currently off the team because he raped someone. Y/N isn’t one to judge people quickly, but he makes an exception with him. That leaves Homelander, who spends the most time with. He helps him train his powers, his fighting moves and helping him PR wise. The boy often views Homelander as his mentor, and comes to him for general life advice, like today.

“I can tell there is something up your mind.” Homelander speaks up as both eat their lunches. “You can talk to me.”

“Well…” Y/N looks a bit uncomfortable. He takes a second for how to phrase it. “…So, I met this guy at security. He’s kinda my first friend that aren’t you guys. But yesterday, he… he asked me out.”

This makes the blonde curious. “Like a date?”

“Y-Yeah…” Y/N replies. “I never had one, so… I’m a bit nervous.”

Homelander smiles, as he thinks through the situation. He’s quick to have a solution in his mind for the new problem. “Want some advice? Just be yourself. He already knows you, so don’t worry about presenting yourself as being social or something. Besides, there is nothing to be ashamed of being quiet.”

Y/N can’t help but smile. “Basic advice, but your right. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

-

Later that day, Homelander got to the guy’s apartment to ‘fix’ the problem. Afterwards, all he had to do is send a text to Y/N the date is off because he wasn’t interested. Knowing the effect he’s going to get; he calls it a day and await for the next act.

The next day, he met with Y/N in the training room, seeing him more stoic then usual. “Everything alright there?”

“…My date bailed on me.” Y/N avoids looking at Homelander. “He said he wasn’t interested.”

“You serious?” Homelander sits down at the side. Afterwards, he gestures his sidekick to sit besides him, which he does. “What a jerk. Are you alright?”

Y/N shakes his head. “…I-I was really looking forward for it. I thought, maybe now I’m in The Seven, it’s fine to be the quiet guy… but it looks things hasn’t changed a bit.”

Homelander put an arm around Y/N, scooting him a bit over to him. “Don’t be ashamed. I know you’re an amazing guy. You’re kind, polite, honest and a hard worker. If he called the date off, that is his loss, because any guy is lucky to be with you.” With that being said, he put his other hand on Y/N’s knee, making the man blushing a bit as Homelander’s face is so close.

“Y-You really think so.”

“I don’t think so. I know it.” Homelander smiles warmly. “Think you’re going to be okay?”

“Yeah.” Y/N smiles. “I’m going to be fine.”

-

Some days later, Homelander invited Y/N to his room. Once there, he sees the blonde holding a bottle of champagne alongside two glasses on the table.

“Since you did so well last mission, I thought we should celebrate.” He opens the bottle, as a pop sound comes from it. With a smile, he tempts Y/N to drink, which he does.

With both men smiling, they drink the champagne from the glass as they sit down. Homelander is proud of his sidekick, now finally being stand on his own. Last mission, Y/N managed to mind control 10 people at the same time. Without even getting someone hurt, he successfully removed some terrorist who would’ve ended innocent people’s lives.

“Just imagine what you can do in the future. Wouldn’t be great if you could do, let’s say, 100 people?”

“I had already trouble doing with 10.” Y/N laughs. “It’s going to be a while before I can do even 20. That being said, it’s all thanks to you. You saw the potential in me and helped me achieve it.”

“You’re welcome. I know talent when I see it.” Homelander smiles. “And I know you’re only to get better from here out.”

“I feel like that too.” Y/N sounds hopeful.

“And I continue train you. …But I have something to confess to you. I have an ulterior motive.”

Y/N is curious. “Really? What’s it?”

“Well…” Homelander avoids looking at him. “When I first saw your file, I knew you were going to be a great member, and I was more then happy to help you. But as I spend more time with you, I grew more attach to you. Not as a teammate, or a friend, but as someone who cares for you.”

Y/N looks a bit stunned. “…You mean as a partner?”

Homelander looks back at him. “Nothing would make me happier to have you at my side… as something more then a friend.”

“W-Wow…” Y/N continues to look startled. “…I-I never expected this.”

Homelander smiles. “It’s alright. Take your time.”

“I… I would be very happy to be your boyfriend.”

With a wider smile, the hero leans in and kisses Y/N, who nervously kisses back. Both of them being gentle with the other. It was short, but it was sweet, something what the blonde was going for. After the kiss, he put his hand on Y/N’s cheek.

“You look so beautiful. I’m very happy to have you at my side.”

-

The next day and the big hero wake up in his bed. His eyes quick to look at the side to see Y/N lying next to him. His front is facing towards him. With a wide smile, Homelander get on his side to carefully hug Y/N, who’s face is now against his chest. The new recruit mutters something.

“Y/N?”

But it appears he’s still asleep. The blonde then looks pass Y/N’s head. As he continues to smile, he knows he got what he wanted. To have someone’s loyalty, now in the form of love. And to make it better, have someone that is powerful. With his powers, Homelander can use his telepathic abilities to get any information instantly and control someone’s mind without any problem. Sure, he needs to mold his lover to do what he wishes, but if he continues to be patient and dedicated to his project, things will turn out very well.

[gii-1]

hii!! hope ur doing good!! could you do hcs for the boys with an s/o who has narcolepsy??

-jjk boys with a reader who has narcolepsy

ft. yuji, megumi, inumaki, yuta

notes: since i had no idea what narcolepsy was, i had to do a bit of research. i might be way off on what it is, so please correct me if i am.

yuji ->

• when he first noticed, you both were having a conversation and you randomly fell asleep.

• he kept shaking you gently asking what happened, thinking you were looking down at something that was making you look so still.

• once he realised that was not the case, he thought you had went paralysed and was panicking

• he called for shoko frantically asking for help, once she explained you had narcolepsy he calmed down a bit.

• after that incident he always brings a pillow when you are there, scared you will fall asleep again.

• he always asks if you had a nap today, and since you’re not allowed caffeine whenever you two or in a group go out he makes sure that you don’t accidentally get any.

• if you have a sudden weakness in your muscles, he will definitely be by your side at all times to help you.

• i feel like he’d carry you around everywhere

• he also asks how good you sleep was and how comfy it was, if it wasn’t he’d probably ask gojo for a new mattress and some pillows.

• hes constantly asking you how you are aswell making sure you’re in top shape, he’s never had his guard down and is ready if you have a sleep attack or your limbs go weak.

• in lessons where you can’t focus on things properly, he locks in and make sure he does notes on everything you missed so you can see later.

megumi ->

• when he firsts notices your extreme tiredness at times, he originally thinks its from the exhaustion of doing missions but he had a nagging feeling that it was something else.

• i have a very strong feeling he already knew a bit about narcolepsy from the fact he loves nonfiction books.

• so that means he was prepared when he first found out about your narcolepsy.

• this guy definitely keeps some sort of unconscious (very organised) timetable in his head about what times you had your nap.

• he always checks if you followed the timetable, checking in on how many times you had a nap.

• if you complained, or if he asked you, about the comfort of your sleep and it was uncomfortable then (like yuji) he would go to gojo and get you anything sleep related to help you.

• if you weren’t able to pay attention in class because it was hard to focus on things, you can always rely on him because he has the most neat notes in the world, despite his handwriting being a bit messy as he had to write quick, he’s a pro at organised notes.

• he will get used to your narcolepsy quickly and is very understanding of how tired or irritated you act sometimes, he won’t take it to heart.

• after finding out, he would be a lot more patient with you and think about your safety.

• thinking about your safety a lot more is definitely integrated into his lifestyle now

inumaki ->

• you guys were in a restaurant and you randomly fell asleep, he was poking your forehead trying to wake you up, he didn’t want your soon-to-come food to get cold.

• when he found out about your narcolepsy, he was interested by it.

• he would do missions for you if he felt like it was your time to have a nap

• when you get a sleep attack in random places he will try his best to make sure you’re in a comfortable position so you don’t wake up sore.

• he is unconsciously always thinking if you had enough sleep that day, especially during missions.

• if you’re really feeling sleepy while you were hanging out in a group, he’d take you to your dorm right away

• even though he can’t talk at most times, he’ll always make sure that you know he’s concerned for your health and will be there for you.

• i feel like you guys both look out for each other sometimes, like you would always have cough medicine incase he doesn’t have any, and he would always make sure that you got enough of your quality sleep.

• sometimes he relates to you as you both have things in your life that affects your health drastically, so that makes your relationship with him a bit closer because of that.

yuta ->

• he was very scared when he first found out

• he’s a gentleman.

• he always makes sure you know the material properly in class and he goes over it with you to make sure that you understand whats going on.

• every time you go to sleep in random places he will find something soft for you to rest your head on, whether its his clothes or his belongings he wants your sleep to be comfortable.

• it doesn’t even matter to him, like it could be so cold that your eyelashes freeze and he’d still take off his jacket for you to sleep on.

• if you feel even slightly tired he will escort you to your dorm, he gets anxious that you wont feel good and will start feeling tired and unfocused.

• he always asks you if you need anything

• definitely got spare blankets during hangouts so he can cover you with it when you sleep, so you don’t feel cold while sleeping.

• whenever he’s at shops he always looks at the pillows and feels them if they are up to his standards of comfort, then if they meet those standards he will buy them for you.

• he would do everything for you if you’re limbs start feeling really weak, he’d always keep you in a comfortable position so it doesn’t make you ache after.

[liyaauhr]

Aiden & Taylor HC’s because no-one talks about them enough! 🎢

— disaster child + disaster child = recipe for chaos

— After her father’s death, Taylor never really got to have a normal childhood like most people her age. She didn’t want to rely on her twin brother constantly for help and had an emotionally unavailable mother so she spent her time trying to help out around the house as much as possible. Her first time goofing off was actually with Aiden who convinced her to skip class to go to the skate park and taught her how to skateboard.

— Gossip about their classmates ALL THE TIME. Literally Taylor will call up Aiden at the ass crack of dawn being like “OH MY GOD you will NOT believe whats been going on with blah blah blah” and Aiden would immediately be like “OMG wtf??? Oh I knew they were a bitch 🙄”

— They team up to cheat in uno. Both of them sneak in +4 cards to their deck and trade cards underneath their legs like dealers to get the people they’ve targeted out in the round. This person is usually Tyler because he has a whole FLIP OUT and when it’s not him it’s Ashlyn because you cannot tell me she wouldn’t get competitive and be a sore loser.

No. this is totally not based off of personal experience. (My friends suck 🤧)

— Once during Christmas, after watching so many movies (and paying attention to none) Aiden had the bright idea of recreating the traps in Home Alone. His parents were away and Taylor tried to talk him out of it…but then he offered a monthly supply of chocolate bunnies and a declaration of a prank war on Tyler so naturally, she concedes. The whole thing was surprisingly easy considering Aiden just has a bunch of questionable random junk lying around that is that is scary dangerous when utilised so with Taylor’s craftiness and Aiden’s creativity the two of them end up making some unstoppable traps. Unfortunately, instead of taking them down once they were finished, both of them got sidetracked by making cookies for the rest of the group to eat. As of on queue, a poor unknowing Ben had walked into the front door after guitar lessons with Tyler and well…you can imagine the disaster! Literally hundreds of booby traps flying at him from every damn corner, every wrong step taken resulted in another attack and eventually a net came out of nowhere and trapped him mid-air!

(Tyler was behind him and could not stop laughing for a good hour as Aiden and Taylor watched in horror, he now has infinite blackmail material in his gallery.)

— I hc that while Tyler is a great cook, Taylor is an excellent baker! When she’s concentrated she can make some really good cookies and cakes that she had learned from her mum.

Key word: WHEN SHE’S CONCENTRATED

Long story short, they’ve blown up a whole kitchen before (at least it was Aiden’s).

— These two 100% do dumb tiktok challenges together and you cannot convince me otherwise.

— Before the Savannah trip, I like to think that Taylor was intrigued by Aiden’s energy when he first arrived especially considering she’s the type to notice people who aren’t necessarily well known (as seen with Ashlyn). Whenever she saw him he was always smiling and goofing off with the tall guy that followed him around and she sorta missed that feeling after losing it so long ago when her father died. Her brother and mother had never been the same since and Tyler became more serious, not to mention her other friends weren’t exactly the silly type.

And the two seemed to stick to the ginger haired girl like glue (to her dismay). She found it funny watching them annoy her to no end and Ashlyn had always been someone she had secretly wanted to get to know.

I feel like a part of her really wanted to make friends with them from the beginning because while the people Tyler and Taylor hung out with were nice enough, they always felt so disconnected and out of touch from them.

— They share a PE class together and literally both choose not to try in class and instead choose to goof off and gossip instead.

— Once Aiden’s roots were growing out and Taylor noticed and offered to re-dye it for him. Turns out she has 0 hair skills (all the genes went to Tyler lol) and Tyler walked in on the both of them in the bathroom. Aiden with patchy bleached hair that looks like its frying itself raw and Taylor with random bleached streaks and botched bangs. Safe to say, neither of them are allowed to use hair products and tools anymore.

— They match together for Halloween because everyone else is a loser who can’t accept their amazing ideas (e.g chicken onesies, angry birds etc.)

[postmoe]

Borisin Warhead Hoolay x Reader - All You’re Good For

: cum, piss, degradation, blood (lil bit), aphrodisiac, Hoolay is a gross meanie :( , but he’s also a powerful tyrant so :)

This was all written on my phone during sleepless nights haha I can’t fix the spacing ;-;

It’s hard being a foxian in this world run by borisins. Allies are far and few between, even amongst your own kind. All it takes is one threat, one little push and you’re being sold out or used in the worst ways.

It had been days and you’re exhausted, paranoid and running on nothing but a few berries you have yet to see if are poisonous. It’s been a few days and nothing, so you’ll try some more tonight… if you make it out alive.

You were part of a group of foxians that plotted to run from the farm you were held in, what’s started as 11 now dwindled to five as most of you were either captured and killed in the escape or gotten too sick and died along the way. It had been a plan in the making that would have been perfect, had it not been for one factor:

Hoolay was coming.

Everyone knows the visit of the borisin warhead always lead to large feasts, having most of the ‘stock’ dead by morning. It was either make a break for it then or succumb to certain death.

So, you fled. Which leads to now, having you shaking beside the campfire, fingers anxiously brushing through matted knots in your tail, and the four men now looking to you like you were a burden.

“All I’m saying is that there’s no use having dead weight when borisins could jump on our tail at any second. We all play a part in this pack, but, what do you do?” One stated as though it was a matter of fact, hand held out in expression.

It was true you hadn’t really contributed much, though one could argue you found the berries, you were the only one brave enough to try them. You did plan on sharing if they were safe; that’s out the window now. Your lips thin as you refuse to make eye contact. Trauma has rendered your vocabulary useless, you don’t remember how old you were when you last spoke. Now, only pitiful sounds are able to escape your mouth, little hums and grunts of pain.

They took this as another sign of weakness, one of the other foxians scoffing, “You won’t even make conversation with us? We want someone we can rely on, not a pet.”

Everyone seemed to have different opinions of your value, all of which lead to one conclusion: you’re useless. It wasn’t until the fourth of them spoke that anyone even considered otherwise, “C’mon, guys, don’t be so harsh, you know she’s a mute. She can’t help it if she’s… underwhelming. Females are only made for one thing after all. Surely I can’t be the only one feeling lonely.”

It was that comment that made your heart pound most of all. A debate broke out of whether or not you’d be worth keeping around for something as trivial as sex when their lives were in danger. You look to starry sky above, the smoke pluming through the canopy as you think about their accusations. You were the most quiet of the bunch. You watched one of your comrades get their head stomped in right before you and didn’t even scream. One of the men here almost got everyone caught because a centipede crawled past. All in all, it could only be boiled down to blatant sexism. Their entire lives they’ve been slaves, and now there’s a taste of freedom and they want to turn the tables.

You’re being regarded again, everyone awaiting your answer, “So, wanna spread them legs and we’ll keep you safe? Cmon baby, you can trust us to protect you.”

It was a no brainer on your part, though you’ve never been one for conflict, you were prepared to fight them on this. Exhausted, paranoid, starving. You a pop a few berries from your pocket and into your mouth, thinking this might be your last meal if things go south as you shake your head in a silent, ‘no’.

The main perpetrator loses his smirk, obviously not amused by your response. He stands and cracks his neck, “No? I think you just need a bit of encouragement, baby.”

Immediately, you stand to take the defensive against him. You wonder if you could outrun them, given that you’re all in the same state of distress. One of the first foxians stands too, holding his hand out in hesitance, “W-whoa, hold up. Don’t start a fight here. Besides, you can’t just force someone to have sex with you.”

Another stood up, following the others straps as he comes to crowd you, “No no, I actually agree here. I think she needs to show us some gratitude.”

The last one merely sat in silence, avoiding his eyes from the scene, looking visibly uncomfortable but not wanting to step in.

Your eyes darted between the two approaching and you threatened by taking a deep breath, mouth opening as if you to scream. Their eyes panicked, not wanting any sound to alert unwanted attention. Regardless of their beliefs on your voice, they didn’t want to risk it.

A slight freeze from them was all you needed, you turned tail, beginning to run when a critical mistake caused your foot to get caught on the log you were sitting on. You went tumbling down, only barely managing to turn on the ground when you were tackled by your former comrade. His hand already over your mouth as he laugh, straddling you, “See? Pathetic! You can’t even run away by yourself. You need us.”

Your hands tense as your nails sharpen, ready to thrash when the other grabs your right wrist, pinning you down. Not long after, the first one grabs your other, his instinct telling him this was better than having you fight back and alert their position.

It wasn’t until his hand trailed under your shirt and caressed the bare skin of your stomach that something truly snapped inside of you. Pupils dilating, mind quieting and teeth sharpening, you managed to tilt your head enough to bite painfully into his hand, blood quickly spilling from the punctures.

His scream was loud, startling, the one on your right wrist jolting enough for you to wrench your arm away. Just as you were about to scratch at him, he gave you a swift punch to your face, nose cracking and pooling blood over your mouth. It disorientated you enough for him to grab at your throat, holding you down, “Fucking bitch. Maybe it’ll be easier to use you if you’re not breathing.”

His taste for violence was the perfect opportunity. As his face drew closer and no one retrained you, thinking you were knocked out enough to not need it, you thrust your hands to his head, nails digging into the back of his skull as you pushed him forward and impaling his eye over your thumb.

The others stepped back now, stunned and scared, leaving you to leap forward before he could recover and drive your teeth into his throat like a wild animal. Frenzied, scared, hurt and adrenaline coursing through your veins, it was enough to drive anyone to do drastic things.

You didn’t notice the rustling of bushes, the way your comrades bolted from the scene. Too busy focusing on ripping his throat out and showing him that you’re not just some foxian that’s going to roll over and heel. Tears streaming down your cheeks as the taste of blood came rushing over you, you are going to fight, too.

Once he goes limp is when you stop clawing and attacking, sitting back with a squelch as you reach up to wipe the water from your eyes. You were drenched. Blood painted from the lower half of your face, down your throat and over your teeth. Nose bruised and broken and leaking. Nails filthy and you’re sure there is flesh under them. You’re not a killer. You never wanted to be a killer.

And then the clapping began. Thuds of heavy footsteps rush past you as you look up, paling and almost vomiting from the surprise. There’s no mistaken that the borisin that stands before you now is Warhead Hoolay, and beside him is his right hand man, Mok Tok. The pack with him was chasing down the others that ran before.

Hoolay seemed very amused, crouching down and grinning as he picked up the foxian’s head by the ear before letting it hit the ground again, “Only the strong survive. This whelp was nothing more than all bark and no bite. You, however,” he gazes back to you, standing, “I’m impressed. Even foxians in the fighting ring have more compassion. You truly didn’t hold back.”

Running isn’t an option. In the fight he had gotten a few good hits and kicks in, your ankle throbbing in pain. Not to mention the stench of blood on you. Foxians had a great sense of smell - Borisins, an even better one. Your only option is to fight, and even you know the single outcome here is death.

Mok Tok stepped around, standing behind you as he examined your state of well being. He hummed gingerly before saying, “Dine in or take away, master?”

Another once over from Hoolay had him walking over to you. He didn’t have a care in the world, hand larger than your head reaching out towards your face. It was enough for you to kick into gear, using what was left of your strength and latching onto him with all the fight you had left. Your teeth barely dug through the fur on his paw, nails only strong enough to hold you to his arm without so much as pricking blood, your legs feebly kicking into his large chest. It probably felt more like a massage than any form of pain.

You tried with all your might and the only response you got from him was a boisterous laugh. He easily yanked you off and threw you to the ground, rolling until you hit Mok Tok’s foot, “Take away. This one amuses me, see to it she doesn’t succumb to her wounds.”

In no time you had some form of metal around your neck, clasping with the rattle of a chain. You’re dragged a few feet before being hauled onto your aching souls. Mok Tok handles you with little care, tugging you to a pace you couldn’t keep up with.

…

It was only you, the bystander foxian that didn’t stand to help, and the initial foxian that tried to keep everyone quiet that remained. The lackey of the culprit you fought had been tied at the end of your chain link, only to fall to his wounds and die on the road. The borisins had snapped his portion of the chain off like it was nothing, leaving his carcass to rot in the mud.

You were at the front of the line, trudging behind Hoolay and his bitch boy with your hands cuffed in front of you, connected to a chain on the thick collar around your throat. A longer, thicker chain trailed behind you to the others, walking in a single file.

It was quiet, the night turning from black to the blueish hues of morning. In the distance thunder rumbled, promising the relief of rain to come. Your feet were filthy from the mud, having lost one flat, uncomfortable shoe days ago and tossing the other at a wild animal that tried to bite you. It turns out bare feet was only marginally more uncomfortable. At least the dirt of the road and squelch of the mud was nicer than sticks and brambles in the forest.

Every closing of your eyes almost had you tripping in sleep. You tried not to blink but since the adrenaline was wearing off, all the pain and exhaustion was coming forward tenfold. It was probably stupid, but the man behind you decided to try their luck with a conversation, “Are we-“ they coughed, their voice a lot scratchier than you anticipated, starting again when they noticed their ears pricking back to listen, “Are we going back to the farm?”

Mok Tok was the first to sneer, his scarred face glaring at him as he snapped, “You weren’t given permission to speak, whelp.”

Hoolay raised his paw to silence him, “It’s fine. Let them wonder, the smell of fear is a welcome sense.” Once the smaller borisin bowed in submission, Hoolay glanced at you from over his shoulder, his intimidating size only making you feel all the more caged in this otherwise open countryside, “The farm owner doesn’t want runaways such as yourselves. You’re coming to our den. Those who can’t serve as servants will be meals before battle.”

One of the men behind you whimpered in fear, the chain slightly rattling as they quaked. You wish you could have the energy for such an emotion. You felt yourself lagging, needing to pick up the pace if you didn’t want to end up lunch for the trip back. With a pained sigh, you skipped forward and listened as they continued questioning, “Did you search for us on purpose, or was it all a coincidence?”

It seems Hoolay was in a generous and talkative mood as he humoured, “Your previous owner informed us of the escape. Such a foolish plan, don’t you know we wolves love to hunt little foxes like you? You couldn’t have picked a worse time to…”

As Hoolay spoke you were progressively losing focus. The sunlight peeked behind a cloud and pierced your eye, a strain feeling like it was hitting your brain. Your hands weren’t low enough to see if you had any surviving berries in your pocket, food maybe being a cure. By this point it was difficult to make out the words anyone was saying.

The next moment you know is your face in the mud. It’s cool to your cheeks, comforting from the recent events. Mok Tok’s voice cuts through incredulously, “Me? Master, she is just a pitiful fox. I suggest we eat her and be done-“

“Are you questioning my decision, Mok Tok? I’ll gladly fight you over it, think you can take me in a battle,” Hoolay says, already knowing the outcome.

Mok Tok surrenders immediately, breaking off your chain and throwing you over his shoulder. Your lungs are pushed of air, and though he isn’t careful in the least, you despise how warm and inviting his fur is. It isn’t long before you’re drifting off, passing out in the hopes that this is your end and you don’t have to experience another day in this hellhole.

…

It was a long ride, your trio of prisoners thrown on the back of a wagon full of leftover foxian meat when it was established you were walking too slow. Most of it was wrapped in cloth and sat on crates with misshapen ice inside to keep relatively fresh. It only became hard to stomach when one of them got hungry.

A few borisin were striding alongside the cart, keeping in pace with the quieter man of your group. They were shoving an amputated foot in his face, laughing and urging him to try it. “You’ll never know if you don’t have a taste~”

You did your best to keep your gaze away, he may be an arsehole but you still regarded the corpse’s leg with the dignity you feel it deserves. Though your kind believes the spirit moves on, it was still hard to witness in the living realm.

It seems your ignorance of the scene didn’t grant you any relief. However, instead of the group of mutts hounding him, you were graced with the mighty presence of the Warhead himself. He held out an arm to you, fingers daintily hovering before your face, calloused skin proving their hard work in life. Hoolay eyed you with interest as he said, “What about you, small one? Have you developed a taste for your own kind?”

The stains of mud and blood still remain on you, your nose only having a brief look at once you reached the wagon of ‘goods’. If your aggressive fight had taught you anything, it was that living prey wasn’t your ideal meal. You shook your head and turned away from him, hoping he would give up this pointless endeavour.

Hoolay brought the arm to his maw, ripping the flesh and chewing loudly, as if to accentuate just what exactly he was eating. Without warning, his sharp claw drags roughly from the base of your skull and down your neck, stopping between your shoulder blades when you jumped forward in shock, the chains rattling as you eyed him with malice. Whatever he saw in you made his lips part in a smirk, then he laughed loudly, the rest of his pack watching their leader toy with you in silence. “What do they call you?”

Even if you could talk, you wouldn’t want to tell him your name.

He raises an eyebrow at you, “Oh? Even still defiant over such a simple question?”

Mok Tok was clearly more offended than his leader, “How dare you ignore our Warhead Hoolay! Master, please allow me to show this whelp just how grateful she should be-“

Sensing the growing tension, your other prisoner comrade interrupted fearfully, “Sh-she doesn’t talk, lord warhead. She’s been silent for as long as we’ve known her.”

This seemed to interest Hoolay even more. “Oh?” With ease, he jumped onto the wagon and sat opposite of you, right next to the prisoner who had spoken on your behalf. Teasingly, he caressed his face with the back of the foxian’s hand, “Then you can tell me. What is her label?”

Shakily, he looked to you as if you could help, too scared to move away from the amputated hand. You merely shrugged, then sure what to tell him, so he said what he could best remember, “I think… I think she was part of B block so… it may have been B132.”

You’re not sure with how you got away with not being branded. Perhaps it was because you kept your head down and didn’t cause trouble, mixed with the fact that they forgot. The farm wasn’t the best run, order and structure not something they’d place in their résumé.

Hoolay looked back to you, “Is that correct?”

Again, you shrug. You were told it once and then never again. The only ones who really remembered were the branded ones.

Hoolay picks at his fangs with the nails of his meal, humming in thought before tossing the arm far away into a field, “I suppose it matters not. Servants will be renamed, as will food.” Another amused rumble comes bubbling from his chest as he stands, a large paw grasping your injured face and turning it from side to side, making you wince as he growls lowly, “Food always tastes better when there’s… personality.”

You took that as an omen for your future.

…

The rain and humidity was a horrible combination, though you found yourself enjoying it more as the grime was sort of washed from your face and your wrists were lubricated from the blood that was washed down. Quietly, you had been working on wriggling your hands out of the cuffs to give you some more space to work with when you try to escape again.

There was nothing you could do about the choker around your neck, however if you could at least get your hands free then you’d have the ability to use the environment around you easier. That, paired with the fact that your chain was no longer connected to the others thanks to Mok Tok, you think you had a fighting chance.

Or else you’re condemned to be food.

It stung, the way your flesh ripped and teared when you shimmied it back and forth in the metal. The others had seen you but didn’t speak up, thankfully, not wanting any of their attention.

You felt sick with anxiety when the new blood made it easier to pull through, almost slipping out, your bones bruised and aching before you pushed your hands back in to avoid them being freed completely.

The rain had lessened, which wasn’t ideal but you could tell it would stop soon and you wanted to go with as much covering as possible. You were in another dense forest, it would be the perfect time. So, you got work, stomping your foot on the wagon to get someone’s attention.

It was Mok Tok who turned, glaring at you with a harsh, “What?” Your tail was squeezed between your thighs, jumping up and down to indicate you needed to pee. He seemed he was about to refute it when he had a second thought, turning to Hoolay and saying, “Master, the last toilet break for the prisoners was 12 hours ago. Shall we stop once more or wait until we arrive to the den?”

Your stomach dropped, did that mean you were close to their home? It really was now or never. Hoolay looked back to you, and you tried hard to show how desperate you were to go. He motions for everyone to stop, coming to you, “Fine. You two take the other prisoners. I’ll handle this one myself.” Like a giant claw - and you suppose it technically was - he grasped you by the top of your head and lifted you from the wagon, placing you down in the mud, your toes sinking into the mushy soil.

He had to nudge you to walk as you panicked. Why was splitting you up now? Every other time it has been one borisin watching you three, you were counting on that to have their attention diverted. Now the Warhead himself wants to watch you pee?

You get a considerable distance before he stops, staring at you with a heavy gaze. When you make no move he scoffs, smiling with a row of sharp teeth and a flick of his tail, “What, you can piss in front of my grunt but not me? Do I really make you that uncomfortable?” His voice lowers to a dangerous octave, “You flatter me.”

Now’s not the time to play his games. You turn around, using your tail to lift up the long, tattered dress that was uniform for everyone at the farm. Due to the first toilet break, a borisin had ripped your knickers off and tossed them so they wouldn’t have to keep doing it whenever you needed to go, so all you had to do was squat and bunch the cloth in your hands once you were low enough to reach. You glanced over your shoulder, seeing him watch you with boredom, huffing and averting his eyes lazily.

That was the best you were going to get. From this angle, it could be seen as you adjusting your clothes again, yet you were slipping your damaged wrists out of the cuffs. It was a little harder since the last time but you managed to do it, eyeing him from the side to see him focused on the raindrops off a leaf. Taking a deep breath, you bolted head on, scurrying over logs and bushes.

There was no noise behind you. As far as you’re aware, borisin aren’t silent hunters, they like to toy with their prey. So why wasn’t he chasing you? Not that you’re complaining, you hope to never encounter his kind again-

The reason for your lack of chase became apparent as you came skidding to a halt. You were at the edge of a canyon, forest on this side and a large, dusty and rocket desert on the other. Along the walls of the canyon were layers of stairs, openings, borisin. Not to mention the foxian slaves, digging and picking, holding food out to guards. Along the floor of the deep canyon is a rushing river, fast enough to be swept away should one fall in.

Hoolay casually walked up behind you, “the outside of our den. On the inside is long, winding halls and plenty of rooms. Should you get lost, there’s no telling what your fate is.” You were still in despair when he grabbed your hand, holding it up as he brought his nose down to inhale your wounds. Your fearful eyes looked to him when he licked up the torn skin, the saliva and pressure on his tongue stinging the sores which you tried to pull away from. He groaned in delight, yanking you closer to gently bite on the flesh, squeezing more blood out, “You think I can’t smell the difference between old and fresh blood? We knew of your little plan from the beginning. Even so,” his large hand slides up your back, claws tracing your spine tantalisingly and forcing you to push into his hard chest as he growls lowly in your ear, “You still tried to run from me, a bold move. I’ve decided, I’m going to keep you, personally. I will train you from a savage foxian into the obedient pet you were born to play.”

To be dismembered or to be a pet? Which is worse is hard to say. Your chattering teeth grit, the fear turning into desperate anger. Quickly, you duck under his arm to escape, only for him to grab the base of your tail and hold you in place. So you change tactics, trying to hit the base of your heel hard enough to hurt his chest and loosen his grip. However, as your foot makes contact with his torso, he doesn’t flinch and instead grabs your ankle and turn you upside down.

You’re left flailing in the air as he carries you like meat on a hook, holding your dress between your legs as you struggle so that you’re not blinded by the fabric. There really is no use. His pack watches in amusement as their leader returns with you, dropping you back into the wagon, “This one is mine. No one is allowed to touch them, understand?”

Frustrated and scared tears stream down your cheeks as they reply with a clear, “Yes, master!”

…

You’re not sure where the others went. Once you made it over the bridge and into the den, you were given to a purple borisin who commanded a bunch of servant foxians. She had supervised your wounds being treated before ordering them to take you to the bathhouse and clean you.

No one made eye contact, no one spoke to you or each other. It was frighteningly quiet, so you kept your head down as they scrubbed your ears and brushed out the knots in your tail. The tub you were in was cramped, a wooden bucket essentially. Hoses came out of the walls and a long gutter was imbedded in the ground to drain the water out somewhere. Even if it was awkward and daunting, you couldn’t deny how good it felt to get scrubbed raw by water that was almost too hot. Even at the farm, room temperature water was the highest form of luxury.

You actually felt clean for once.

Once you were done and dripping dry, the borisin from earlier reentered with a fluffy towel. She looked you over, clawed hand throwing the towel over your head, “You know how to dry yourself, yeah? I don’t know what you did but our master has taken a liking to you. Come.”

You wetly follow her through the winding halls with plaps of your feet hitting the floors, the servants behind you trailing diligently. You were too focused on trying to memorise the path that you hardly dried yourself by the time you reached your destination. A room was opened to you, chests and clothes along each wall, a mirror standing on the floor.

One glance at the mirror was enough for you to turn your head, not wanting to see yourself as the captive you are just yet; surrounded by slaves and a vicious wolf. Out of the corner of your eye though, you saw the enemy rummaging through chests until she found what she was looking for.

When she came back, she began putting golden chains on you, hanging from a gold collar around your neck, falling down your biceps, down the curves of your naked breasts, low enough to fall just past your hips. You dared another glance in the mirror, wondering if something so cold and with no fabric could still be called lingerie.

“Done. Let’s go,” she shoved at your back, the chains clinking slightly from the jolt as she pushed you out. The metal felt kind of nice, slinking along your skin with every step you took. The collar got hotter with your body heat, being a little uncomfortable but who were you to complain when you had no rights. It wasn’t until you were stopped beside her, a VERY long table with various foods and alcohols, mainly meats and few vegetables - don’t look at the foxian torso and thighs, don’t look at the foxian torso and thighs - that were slightly skewed from everyone picking at it that you felt a shot of self-consciousness. She bowed her head and addressed the warhead, “Master, she is clean and adorned for you.”

Since the day you were born, you were taught that nakedness and privacy didn’t matter. Farm animals didn’t get that decency, foxians don’t get that decency. You can count on one hand you’ve felt the need to cover yourself in front of someone, yet somehow right now, you feel like you need to cover every inch of skin and curl up in a hole to stop the eyes of their leader from clawing into you. Everyone stopped to stare at the new meat that had walked in, yet it was Hoolay that openly ogled you like you were more than just food.

You pretend not to notice the twitching under his belt, cloth moving over a large mound that you were hoping wasn’t for you. He grinned and leant forward, hooking his index under your collar and pulling you towards him, “Perfect, you’re dismissed.”

She and the slaves bowed before leaving you alone in the room full of beasts.

“C’mere,” Hoolay demands, already pulling you tightly against him, sitting you sideways in his lap. He’s so large, colossal, from his shoulder to his elbow alone almost the size of your body. He brings a chunk of meat to your lips, demanding you to eat. When you don’t part your mouth, he huffs and wedges a claw between your teeth, forcing you to open, “Relax, it is just bird.”

Sure enough, you’re inclined to agree, taking the meat from his hand so he’s no longer shoving it down your throat. As you slowly nibble on the meat, you’re lost to the words everyone is speaking around you, their language a mix of your common tongue and their own. You’re pretty confident, however, that they’re discussing about his new prize - you - and how you’ll taste.

Hoolay laughs after someone says something, easily moving you to sit flush against his torso with your back, spreading your legs wide over his thighs. You almost drop the bird meat when you see what he’s doing, releasing the confinements of his half-hard cock to hang over his leg. A low growl rumbles from his chest as he strokes it, moving it to stand hard and leaning against your tense torso. His knot is throbbing between your legs and the tip of him is poking the underside of your breasts, you can’t even imagine what he would feel like inside of you that doesn’t involve pain.

A slave comes beside him with a platter and a golden jug. Hoolay grabs it roughly before pouring the contents over his cock, the substance oozing out and over his dick like a sheer, golden syrup. He tosses the jug away with a clank, disregarding it in favour of smearing the liquid over your thigh, lightly squeezing, his giant maw hotly breathing against your cheek, “Go on. Have a taste. I promise you’ll enjoy it.”

He’s so large that there’s no way you could swallow him more than his tip. You go in for a taste, holding the heavy weight below the glands to dutifully suck. The pungent under taste that you’re expecting is overshadowed by whatever he had coated his dick in. The pupils of your eyes blow wide and suddenly you’re suckling on the head like you’re trying to coach his cock to dispel more of the deliciously sweet substance.

Hoolay laughs at you, a low, growling groan emitting as his paw pets back the ears on your head, “Fffuck. That’s a good girl.” You whimper around him when he pushes you down, choking on what little you could swallow. His pre is enough to guzzle down your throat and bubble out of your mouth, it doesn’t ready you for when he cums, buckets of semen forced down your throat and into your stomach. He must’ve been pent up because even after he pulls away, he’s still very much hard. He opens his mouth beside your head, his jaw wide enough to encompass your skull if he really wanted to, laughing at the visage, “Such a tiny mouth for a pitiful creature. I wonder if the hole between your legs will be more accommodating, hm?”

You’re lifted and placed on your back, glistening in syrup and cum under the dim lighting by the candles around the room. Everyone stares in amusement as you dazedly bring your fingers to your mouth, sucking on the digits to get some more of the sweet syrup and hoping to overthrow his taste. It isn’t until you feel a rather large tongue lick up the slit of your pussy that you jerk, a string of saliva connecting to your fingers as you pull them away to gaze between your thighs.

Hoolay’s claws touched as they held one of your thighs up, out of the way for him to get a taste. You were already so wet and waiting, the desire to consume was rushing all throughout your body. Air was forced out of you when he let his heavy cock thud against your stomach, a little cum seeping from the corner of your mouth. Graciously and carefully, he slides a finger inside you and worms it around, stretching your cunt and causing you to moan, “So defiant you were on the ride here. Now look at you, arching into my hand like a pet looking for love from its owner. It feels good to give in to instinct, wouldn’t you agree?”

Even if you could talk, you wouldn’t need to as your tail swishes side to side underneath you, as though accepting his declaration. Your stomach is so full that even with just his fingers you feel you’re about to pop. Your legs fall open for him when he pushes his cock head down your slit and into your hole. You’re so grateful he helped you with the aphrodisiac, even if you wish you hated it, you know being absolutely torn apart would be too brutal to handle.

As a mercy, perhaps for being such a good girl, he takes it slow but doesn’t stop - not until he’s reached as far as he can inside you. Your legs are now propped up and of your stomach wasn’t distended from the mouthfuls of cum before, it certainly was from the massive dick inside you now. Your cheeks puff when he puts pressure on the lump he forms, “I’m impressed, little fox. Even with the amount of syrup used, I didn’t think you’d be able to hold out.”

It’s not until his hips start snapping against yours that you cringe, the movement jostling your insides, motion sickness hidden behind layers of pleasure. Your mouth is open, panting, the cool air the only thing keeping you from losing your mind. However, as ‘kind’ as he’s been, he seems to want to take more from you. His long, flat tongue enters your mouth, you’re gurgling around the muscle in this ruthless kiss. Your eyes roll back and hearing wavers as the oxygen in your lungs is stolen away.

Heavy balls plap against your arse, cum and syrup creating an odd, warm, wet sensation over your skin. You hadn’t realised you were clawing at Hoolay’s face until he retracted, his paws holding your biceps flat in the take with a heavy chunk to hold you down. Bruises were the least of your concerns as you could finally breathe again and consciousness came back, adding with a strong seizure of pleasure corrupting your body. Your clit pulsed and your pussy tightened from the euphoric buildup of oxygen and cock breeding your insides.

A round of cheers and clinking steins was heard in the background during your orgasm, but it was too intense to care and Hoolay had no intentions of stopping. The way your cunt suckled his dick was more than enough to keep him going.

Of course, it wasn’t the last time you would cum in his cock. The way he nipped at your skin and kissed you and licked over your body like he was getting ready to devour you; it all shot straight to your aroused core. Whenever you could form a single thought, though, you would concern yourself with the inevitable worry of his knot.

Hoolay’s knot was swelling to a considerable size and pretty soon you doubt you would be able to hold him. He seemed to realise this, however, because his thrusts were getting deeper and stuttering more often as his knot struggled to enter and escape your cunt. It wasn’t too soon that his hips closely hit against yours, balls tightening and jerking with every spurt of cum. His knot kept him stuck deep inside you, the low growls and groans making you tremble. Your legs were hiked and your stomach was folded, you felt like you were going to throw up as your stomach got fuller… and fuller… “Just look at you,” he grunts, pushing himself against you and making you groan, “Fucked out of your mind, at the mercy on our dinner table. Foxians like you are only good for one thing.”

You couldn’t keep it in, with the amount he was breeding you with, and the position he had you folded in, it was only a matter of time before it came back up. It wasn’t vomit, it was more like his cum didn’t make it all the way down. The semen you swallowed poured out, as though the cum he fucked into you had overflowed out of your mouth. Tears streamed from the corners of your eyes in shame and confusion, your chin, chest, stomach, legs, everything was dirty and smothered in Hoolay’s dna.

He laughed heartily at your pitiful display, cool still nestled deep in, one hand coming under the arch of your back to lift you up and rest against him. He sat back on his chair, idly dragging a claw down your spine, your skin alight with goosebumps. His voice seemed a lot more content now, “Bring out the slaves. It is time for everyone to enjoy themselves.”

You barely recognised what was happening, your consciousness slowly returning to you over time. Crying, means, laughing, scared whimpers were all present thought your minor rest. Eventually, you had the strength to lift your head, seeing you’re not the only unfortunate soul to be used as a plaything. This place truly is horrible.

Finally, Hoolay’s knot had reduced enough to be plucked from your hole. He grabbed one of the chains around you and half heartedly threw you to the floor. You were confused and struggled to push yourself up, only to halt when a hot stream of liquid hit the top of your head. Piss. He was pissing on you, making sure to cover your body in his stench. The face you made could almost be described as betrayal, save for the fact that you had no faith in him to begin with. Once finished, he lets go of his half hard cock and stares into your eyes, “Everyone will smell who you belong to. You will not be able to take one step in this place without me knowing where you are.”

All you can do is grit your teeth, nails digging into the ground. The piss makes the wounds on your wrists sting like crazy, your hair and fur drenched in both cum and urine. It stinks. The bruises on your arms were forming nicely and you can only wait to see how pretty they’ll bloom by morning.

To add salt to the wound, Hoolay pours water into an empty bowl and places it in there for beside you, “You can bathe again later, we must let it soak in so the pheromones stick.” He stands, cocking his head in admiration of his work on you, smiling wickedly, “It’s about time I got myself a pet. And I know you’ll be such a good girl for me.”

Your head falls forward in this defeat, eyes making contact with your exhausted reflection in the water bowl.

[lovecla]

TAKE YOUR PAIN AWAY | quinn hughes.

chapter thirteen:

<last chapter> <epilogue>

➴ chapter warnings: none!

➴ word count: 2.3k

💌 from me to you: and finally, the last chapter of TYPA. when i started writing this, i had no idea how important (this) quinn and madison would be to me, and i’m really grateful for them. i learned a lot about myself during my time working on this, and although it was painful, it was also healing. i truly hope that this story touched every single one of you like it did to me, and i also hope it helped u to heal from things that weren’t you fault, but you still believed them to be. no one is worth changing for, if that person isn’t ourselves. i love you all and thank you for giving this story so much love ♡

౨ৎ

2024, JULY.

“come, love, make me better than i was.

come teach me a kinder way to say my own name.”

— andrea gibson.

THE ROOM was packed with people making you hold Quinn’s hand tighter.

He chuckles beside you. “What’s the matter, baby?”

“Wasn’t expecting the room to be so full,” you mumble, watching as people approached you both, and Quinn introduced you as “his girlfriend”, the title making you smile wider.

“I guess you’re having the same sensation as me whenever I go to your fashion events.”

“Probably, I don’t know,” you shrug, walking beside him and trying to find the table assigned for the two of you plus his family. “The thing is, you guys here work hard. All I do is look pretty.”

“You give yourself too little credit for the good things and too much credit for the bad things,” he smiles sadly, kissing the tip of your nose lightly. “If all you did was look pretty, then you wouldn’t have so many people enchanted by you.”

“Hum, actually—”

“Hello, dears,” Ellen greets you when you approach the table, getting up so she could hug you both. “You look gorgeous, Maddie.”

You smile back at her, shyly. You knew this was a gala, but of course it was much simpler than the ones you’re used to, so you chose not to wear anything too fancy— just a simple navy blue, maxi dress with a thigh slit, nothing too expensive since the star of the night was Quinn.

You also chose the color blue because you wanted to match the Canucks logo, apart from the tiny 43 you had on your necklace.

“Thank you, Ellen,” it was still weird for you to call her that way, but after the way she frowned at you the last time you called her Mrs., you knew you had to stop.

“Are you excited, M?” Luke asks you after you sit in the chair beside him.

“Yeah,” you whisper. “And I'm nervous too. I wasn’t expecting this many people. You said it would only be some of the captains.”

“Well, yeah, but just because not every captain will get a speech, it doesn’t mean they can’t come too.” He laughs, mischievously. “You’ll be fine.”

Quinn placed his hand on your thigh, squeezing it lightly, just to let you know that he was there, and he wouldn’t let you go.

You smile at him, wondering how you got so lucky. You were surrounded by people that actually loved you, and even if it hurts you to think that your family, the people who shared the same blood as you, didn’t even care enough about you to know if you were happy or not, you were thankful that you could rely on the Hughes.

The dinner turned out to be pretty fun, especially with two comedians like Jack and Luke sitting on your table. Jim was also extraordinarily funny that night, while Quinn and Ellen shared annoyed stares. You couldn’t help but laugh at everything they said, because they somehow grew up to be really funny— sometimes.

Twenty-ish minutes before your time to speak, a staff member came to your table and silently asked you to follow them, after you placed a light kiss on Quinn’s lips and waved to the rest of his family, thanking his "good luck” wishes.

In the backstage, at least fifteen people stood there. Mostly women and old ladies, a few men and two kids. You watched as all of them read the texts they wrote over and over again, and you asked yourself if you should’ve brought the text you wrote with you, even if you knew every word like the back of your hand.

“Mrs. Carter, you’re up next,” someone says, and you nod at them, getting up from your seat and patting your dress.

Surprisingly, as you walked on the stage, while they presented a short video about Quinn’s career, you didn’t feel nervous. The hundreds of eyes on you did nothing to make you want to give up and curl up in a quiet little corner, which was unusual. You were used to big crowds, of course you were, yet you still got nervous here and there. But not feeling anything as you’re about to speak in front of so many people? Yeah, that was new.

The video ended after you stopped in front of the mic, smiling widely as you watched Quinn in the crowd, his blue eyes somehow shining brighter than everything else. You could tell he was anxious, eager to know what you would say, even more because the only person who had read what you’d written had been Victoria, and totally by accident, since you wrote parts of your speech during your breaks on the set.

“Hey, guys,” you say, waving at your crowd, making them laugh softly. “A lot of you probably don’t know who I am, so I’m gonna introduce myself before I start speaking,” you breathe in deeply, adjusting the microphone in front of you. “I’m Madison Carter and I’m a model. But I’m also the person that Quinn Hughes chose to talk about him.”

“I met Quinn when I was eleven and he was thirteen. I was just his annoying neighbor who would spend hours at his house, and make stupid questions about Hockey or anything that I didn’t know. You guys had Google, I had Quinn Hughes,” more laughing. “Once, I even told him he should ask for something cooler for his birthday, because he had told me he’d asked for a stick because he needed it to play and I just thought that was the dumbest thing ever,” people laughed again.

“He quickly became my favorite person in the world, and I’m not even exaggerating. He took care of me until I turned fifteen and he had to move to Michigan so he could go to college, and that basically was the end of our friendship, until I met him again in March, and suddenly, it was almost like the seven years we spent away from each other hadn’t happened at all.”

“Quinn has a way of taking care of everyone around him, and that’s one of the things that make him a great captain. I don’t know much about Hockey, sorry about that by the way, but the one thing I know is that it’s all about teamwork and about caring about your teammates and Quinn is your perfect example of that.

Today I stand here, not as his girlfriend, and not as his friend— but as someone who watches Quinn give the best of himself every single day, asking for nothing in return. As someone who can see right through him, and understand that one thing about Quinn, is that what you see, is what you get.

He’s my number one everyday. He stood up for me in moments that I couldn’t, he gave me his hand whenever I needed it, he often looks at me like he’d give me the world if I asked him to. And it’s a weird thing, this so-called feeling of love. Sometimes I wake up with my chest heavy, and all I need to do to make it go away is look at him.

Because this is who Quinn Hughes is. And I truly hope that everyone, outside or inside of this room, can see him the way I do.”

You could see some people wiping their cheeks, and that made you smile even wider, like you have been doing during your entire speech.

“Quinn, this is for you, and for you only: I love you. Thank you for being who you are, and please, never change. Thank you everyone.”

Some people stood to clap for you as you left the stage, almost running to Quinn’s arms with how much you missed them, even after just a few minutes apart.

“I love you,” he whispered in your ear, hugging you close as people still clapped for the two of you. “I love you so much, Madison. You’re everything to me.”

You smile at him, feeling your eyes getting wet with tears, as you kiss his lips. His hands immediately found your waist, holding you close to his body, both of you not even caring about being in front of so many people, including his family.

“I love you more,” you tell him, blue eyes matching yours. “Since day one.”

And it was true. Loving Quinn wasn’t something that happened out of nowhere, just because. No. You have loved Quinn ever since the first time you laid your eyes on him, not understanding why a boy who was almost as tall as you, even when he was older, made your heart beat faster.

But now you get it.

Now, you finally get it.

౨ৎ

2027, JUNE.

“QUINN, WHERE the hell are we?”

“Last time we were here you weren’t so dirty mouthed, baby.” You hear his soft laugh beside you, as you carefully walk with your hands holding his arms tightly.

“If I only knew where here is…”

It was June, and it was also your three year anniversary with Quinn and third year living in Vancouver. You had both agreed not to do anything too crazy because in just a few days you’d have to travel for Paris Fashion week, and you needed to rest as much as you could. But Quinn probably forgot about what you had agreed on, because next thing you know, he’s leaving Bella with Mrs. Fernandez, her cat and her son, and dragging you to an airport, getting inside the private jet with you.

You were confused and excited. He hadn’t told you where you were going, neither had the pilots and flight attendants, so you were just following his orders.

But as soon as you landed, a few hours later, he covered your eyes with a blindfold, and helped you get out of the plane and get inside the car.

And now, you’ve arrived, or at least that’s what it seems. He thanked the driver as he opened the car door and took you with him, with you asking questions the entire time, not even caring if you sounded annoying or not.

“Well, it looks like today is your lucky day, sweets,” he chuckled before removing the blindfold from your eyes, making you blink fast as you adjusted your eyes to the daylight.

Your eyes doubled in size as soon as you recognised where you were.

“How… how… oh my God. Quinn, what?” You stutter, not even trusting your own mind.

Because it couldn’t be true that Quinn had brought you to his old house in Toronto.

“I just thought we should come back here to remind ourselves from the beginning,” he shrugs, like this isn’t anything at all, like this is an everyday thing. Like he didn’t rent a jet and flew to his old house just to celebrate your anniversary. “Where it all started.”

Both houses looked the same. Yours and his. Still standing side by side, as you remembered them to be.

You stared at your old house, remembering your days there, and wondering about everything and nothing at the same time. You recalled the day you first saw Quinn, how he talked with you, and how he came back the next day to play with you, which didn’t happen because you both spent hours talking.

“Do you like it?” You hear him asking, and you smile.

“Of course I do,” you sniffled, not even realizing you had started crying. “I’m still in shock because—”

You stop speaking mid-sentence, as you turn your head around to face Quinn, only to find him standing on one knee, with a tiny, velvet box in his hand. Inside it, the most beautiful ring you had ever seen, with the most beautiful and delicate diamond.

“Quinn,” you whisper, covering your mouth with your hand, the tears rolling down your face with ease.

“I know it might be soon, and I’ll understand if this isn’t what you want now,” he smiles, trying to reassure you. “But everyday you prove to me that you’re my forever, the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I want to wake up with you by my side everyday, I want to argue with you about the wet towel on the bed, I want to fuck you every time you decide that inviting me and my team to a Lingerie Fashion Show is a good decision,”

“You liked it, though,” you let out a wet chuckle, watching as he rolls his eyes and nods.

“I guess I did, yes. I also liked punching Conor in the face after he asked me if you did private shows too,” he says, making you laugh between your tears. “I want everything with you, baby. Your bad days, your good days, your I-don’t-want-to-look-at-your-face days, your please-don’t-go-away days. I want to one day be able to call you my wife, and the mother of my kids. So I guess this is my way of asking; Madison Carter, will you make me the happiest man on earth and be my wife?”

“It’s bold of you to even ask,” you joke. “Of course I will.”

He grins at you, removing the ring from the box and putting it on your finger, the diamond feeling heavy against your skin.

He gets up, picks you up and twirls you around, making you laugh out loud with how happy you are. You kiss his lips fiercely, the taste of salt mixing with his minty taste, your favorite flavor in the entire world.

“You’ll get to be Mrs. Madison Hughes,” he whispers against your lips, and you can swear your heart has never felt fuller. “What do you think about that?”

You chuckle. “I think that’s all I ever wanted. I love you, Quinny.”

“I think we both know I love you more, Maddie.”

“I think that’s up for debate.”

the(ir) end.

taglist: @hischierswhore @ru-kru @alwaysclassyeagle @he6rtshaker @nope-i-am-done @nngkay @urthem00n 🤎

[fanfictilltheend]

❤️‍🔥Violent Heart Part 2:  ♪Remember when I moved in you, and the holy dove was moving too ♫ (or the VERY DARK Stepdad!Mechanic!Covict!Joel x Afab!you one)❤️‍🔥

Hi I apologize that a lot of these reference pics are just of white girls. I tried to find "aesthetic" images that go with the story but so many of them are just of white people and I want to call myself out for this because in the fic's only descriptors are that she has hair and is AFAB -- nothing about race. I also realize that all of the girls in this are skinny too and Y/N's body type is never specified. Sorry fam!! These images are just to get the creative juices flowing and don't truly depict anything from the fic!!

A/n: It’s here!!!!!! 18+ Only. This took me 7 freaking months so you mofos better like, reblog, and comment. This is both my most and least personal fic I’ve ever written and it is dark and relies heavily on plot (smut this time tho!!) READ ALL OF THE TAGS DO NOT COME FOR ME UNLESS YOU DID THIS FR FR. This ones for my dark joel fangirlies(guys and NBies) and the daddy issues fam ily ❤️‍🔥 (also not me naming my fic in part after hallelujah by leonard cohen but there is a reason!!!!!!!!!!)

Summary: Part 2 picks up with Y/N at age 20 and how her relationship with Joel has changed and gets steamier.  SMUT and feelings <3 Also check out this playlist of music that’s in the fic!!!!

Tags (PLEASE READ): Afab!you, pov change, Infidelity, threats, age gap, dressing Joel up (swear I wrote this before he wore that outfit to the SAG awards — the mr.Darcy-core one), racist comment (from Y/N’s douchey boyfriend), douchey boyfriend, confidence issues, feelings, voyeurism, masturbation (m and f), kissing, penis in vagina sex — unprotected (wear a condom), lightest hint of ass play, scar worship?? kinda??, daddy issues, daddy kink, using music lyrics to move the plot, multiple orgasms (m and f), religion and god discussions, stepcest (kinda bc technically he is divorced from her mother), tagging psuedo-incest just to be safe!!, use of y/n

Word Count: ~13k

PART 1

AO3 Link

Violent Heart Masterlist

Full Masterlist of all my work

If you’re being honest, you’ve always had a little crush on Joel Miller. How could you not have? The first day you’d met him had been like some kind of fucked up yet extremely satisfying whirlwind of a daydream. He’d come in, broad and tall and strong, and saved you from your evil (though you do love him somewhere deep, deep down) older brother’s onslaught. Protected you like a knight in shining armor from his punching, beating fists. Treated and touched you so tenderly, so many miles different from how your own father did that you’d been hit with whatever the pleasant opposite of whiplash is. And the way he finally punished Aiden after years of his reign of terror, the violence of it, the justice of it. You didn’t have words for it then, but the way you looked into Joel’s eyes when he was doling out that righteous punishment became some kind of strange secret understanding between the two of you. Maybe it was the first sign of love? You aren’t sure.

As a kid, he’d given you what you like to think of as quiet butterflies. They were always there when he spoke to you, looked at you, touched you, beat the shit out of your father and brother for you, but they were faint enough that you could ignore them. It was a comforting, fluttering kind of love, a gradual understanding of your loyalty to one another. But then puberty hit and the insects became incessantly loud when you thought of, wrote to, or talked to him. They ate at your heart day after day while Joel was in prison – the longing, the missing. Aiden told you that you were obsessed with him. Your mother told you to forget him, that he would forget you. But somehow, he didn’t. You wonder if those bugs live in him too. You wonder if they are quiet or loud and if they gnaw .

You think that they are probably loud. You think this for a few reasons. The first is that you know for a fact, you can feel it in the lining of your soul, and from the evidence of his constant correspondence and care for you, that he is just as obsessed with you as you are with him. The second reason is the fact that you think but aren’t one hundred percent sure is that the last time you’d hugged him he’d gotten a little hard (you don’t want to think too much into that because he is only a man who had been deprived of touch for a long time – but still you wonder…). And the third is the way he looks at you like you are the universe like you are the last drop of nectar and he is the last butterfly left on Earth in a famine. 

That’s how he’s looking at you now in the passenger seat of his old, clunky pickup. You know that he wanted to drive, but you wanted to show him how well you could because he had never seen. Never had the chance to see how well you had fixed, maintained, and took care of his baby and of course he gave into you like he always does. He's smiling at you quietly, but his eyes contain multitudes. Right now mostly pride at your driving.

Joel is a bit different than how you remember sitting near him in the truck the last time you were together, him as a free man, you as a little girl. Somehow, even though you are obviously bigger now, he still seems massive and broad and stronger than ever. His biceps are huge – probably from all the time he had to work out in prison – and peeking out under his blue t-shirt that you brought for him, you think you see the outlines of some tattoos. You look a little closer. On his right arm is text in curvy black ink. You think it reads, “Sarah.” You smile softly at that. On his other arm is a strange orange shape that you have to squint at to understand. The edges of the object are jagged but they form a shape like a badge – and then you know what it is! It is the guitar pick you made for Joel as a child. The one that had pricked his finger and drawn blood and he stuck it in his wallet. You can’t articulate how honored you feel that Joel loved you enough to tattoo something you made for him on his body, permanently, forever. 

“ Well , the light only turned green damn near eons ago,” he complains about your driving, but you know he is just teasing.

There is hardly anything wrong you can ever do in Joel’s eyes. He grins at you a bit lopsidedly and you smile back. You also can’t help but notice the greying of his brown hair. It’s a bit longer than it used to be too and the length gives it a little bit less of a shaggy look. You think it suits him, makes him look a bit older and more distinguished than when he first came into your life twelve years ago. 

Objectively, you know it’s weird to think that your ex-stepdad who is a convicted felon is hot, but it’s just something you’ve always known and thought like that the sky is blue or that orange is your favorite color. You know it’s weird to think of someone who was? – is? – supposed to be a father figure to you that way, but it’s already second nature at this point. You’ve had a few boyfriends (luckily all of them had treated you right), but none of the feelings you’ve ever had for them have compared to the cosmic-sized love and affection you have for Joel and you’ve never known anything different. The years you spent longing, missing, loving, obsessing over, and aching for him in every way under the sun, can’t be healthy, you know this, but they have eclipsed practically every other relationship in your life. No one has ever made you feel as safe and protected and loved as Joel has. No one else has ever looked at you the way he does. No one else’s entire existence has revolved around you the way his has. The sheer devotion in his gaze is enough to make the butterflies inside you scream and beat their wings against your insides like hungry bats. 

And you especially know you shouldn’t have these feelings about another human being violent enough to be capable of taking a life – inebriated or not. You’re grown now and know the man he killed was a scum-of-the-Earth child predator, and secretly you’ve always wondered if there was more to the story than Joel told the police in the official court transcripts you’d read as an adult, maybe even something to do with you since you had been there that day in the repair shop when they met , but you haven’t pressed because you’re sure the whole thing is quite traumatic for Joel and if he ever wants to tell you, you know he will. And more importantly, you don’t really care. Drunken, violent idiot or not, you were already deeply invested and never intended on wavering in that. You’re not sure there’s anything Joel could do to get you to stop loving him and that both terrifies and excites you. 

“Okay, whatcha wanna eat?” you ask, reaching out to rub Joel’s shoulder gently. “Now that you’re free you can have whatever you want! On my mom’s credit card of course. Swear I won’t tell her.”

Joel grins.

“Deal,” he tells you. “I was thinking of a nice steak dinner.”

***

You pull into the fanciest restaurant you can find in the tri-state area and sit down to order a regal, all-American, full three-course steak dinner (though you’re both woefully underdressed – not that you care – though the host gives you a dirty look). All the while, you tell Joel about your major (psychology) and how you want to become a counselor for abused children.

“That’s sort of beautiful, sweetheart,” he tells you with a genuine smile that used to be so hard to coax from him, but now seems to float over to you so easily and gently like a kiss from something as soft as the wings of a butterfly. “Wanting to help defenseless children. You’re kinda like a guardian angel for them, ya know? Damn proud of ya! Also, these mashed potatoes are goddamn delectable!” he exclaims after taking an experimental bite. “Have I mentioned that prison food is shit?”

You smile bashfully and want to tell him that he is your guardian angel (you wonder if he thinks the same of you) and inspiration in a backward sort of way for wanting to help kids in the first place since he was so good at protecting you for the most part (though you obviously don’t believe violence is the correct answer in your line of future work). But kids need protectors. Somehow you know that deep down you forgive him for all of the violence he caused because you would forgive him for anything. And him being proud of you? You don’t think there’s a better feeling in the world than that! You burst with pride. Your real father never said that to you, but Joel doesn’t feel like your father now. He is something different entirely. Something that entirely belongs to you.

“And you’ll meet my boyfriend, Max, tomorrow,” you nod as Joel moves onto the steak and lets out a soft moan at how good it tastes. “He’s heard a lot about you.”

Joel’s face flattens.

“And who is this kid exactly?” he sneers a little, attacking the steak with his knife. 

You smile internally at the obvious jealousy he’s trying to hide from his voice.

“Hey, Max is a decent guy!” you insist in his defense. “He’s pre-law. Real smart. He’s gonna be an important person someday, I know it. You’ll get on.”

That last part is a bit of a lie since you’re not sure the two will actually like each other. 

Joel examines your face, looks deep into your eyes.

“All I know is, just because someone is important, don’t mean they’re good to you or for you for that matter.” 

You can’t help but think of your father, the most “important” man you know and how much of a degenerate he is compared to someone ostensibly average like Joel who didn’t even have a status symbol like a college degree and how perfect of a man you think he is, despite his obvious flaws. You blush a little, scrunching up your nose. 

“Just lookin’ out for you, sweetheart,” he continues, smiling at the way you do. “He ever fuck with you – he ever break your heart, you know just where to send him, alright?”

“Yeah, Joel,” you grin. “Don’t need you getting any more jail time though, alright?” “You may have made a valid point,” he concedes with a smirk. 

***

When you two enter your shitty, one-bedroom apartment it’s already dark outside. Joel actually grins when he notices his and your guitars have both been mounted on the wall. 

“We can play ‘em tomorrow,” you tell him excitedly. “If you want to, I mean…”

“Hell yeah, I do,” Joel smiles. “Wanna hear ya singing for me, honey. I missed that.”

You smile to yourself.

“You can have my bed, and I’ll take the couch,” you decide, getting back to business. 

“No way, babygirl. I ain’t taking your bed.”

“Joel, you’ve literally been on a prison mattress for eight fucking years! Can’t imagine that’s been very comfortable.”

“That’s exactly why I won’t mind the couch. That’ll feel like heaven to me. Don’t want you messin’ up your back, sweetheart.”

You open your mouth, but Joel beats you.

“And that’s that,” he insists. 

“Alright, alright,” you concede, knowing by the look on his face he’s not budging. If one thing, Joel has always been stubborn, but you like that about him. “D’you wanna watch a movie or something?”

“Actually, baby, if ya don’t mind, I’d like a quick shower. Been dreaming about taking a real, private one for ages.”

“Yeah, of course!” you nod, motioning toward your bathroom door. “Towels are under the sink.”

Joel makes his way inside and soon steam is billowing out the bottom of the door. 

You busy yourself with some homework, but just as you walk past the door to grab a glass of water, you think you hear Joel singing.

You listen more closely over the fall of the running water and make out him singing the chorus of an old ABBA song with a deeper, sadder tone to it,

♪ “ Slipping through my fingers all the time / I try to capture every minute / The feeling in it / Slipping through my fingers all the time / Do I really see what's in her mind? / Each time I think I'm close to knowing / She keeps on growing / Slipping through my fingers all the time…” ♫

You feel like such a sap, but you feel a tear forming in your eye at the way Joel must be thinking about his and your relationship and everything he missed in your life. You aren’t mad at him, but his absence hurt in a way you didn’t know you could feel. And you’ve never blamed him, really, but the lack of him for eight years of milestones really did kill a piece of you. You can’t help but imagine a butterfly at the bottom of your stomach with its wings pulled off. That’s how you felt all that time without Joel – like a butterfly without wings. A writhing worm of a human being, senseless and lost in a giant world full of forces you couldn’t control. 

You listen to Joel’s beautiful, deep voice until you hear him turn off the tap and you scurry away and act innocent. 

Joel emerges from the bathroom then with nothing but a white towel around his waist, steam from the shower floating lazily into the room behind him like precession. And oh, wow, is he ever a sight to behold. His hair is wet, dark brown flecked with grey, and starting to get curly from the moisture. You also can’t help but notice his broad chest, the expanse of it, the dark curls of hair, his bulking, muscular tattooed arms, his soft, hairy tummy, the V-shape of muscle that descends beneath the towel, his happy trail. You are overwhelmed by the soaking beauty of him. You’d seen Joel shirtless before, sure, but it had never felt like this . 

“Gon’ grab some of those clothes you bought for me and then maybe we could watch something?” Joel asks as you try so fucking hard not to stare at him.

“Sure!” you squeak, staring down at your notebook at the kitchen counter. 

You think you see a smirk from Joel, but you're not sure because your gaze is averted as he grabs some clothes to change into and disappears back into the bathroom.

When he reemerges, dressed in a wifebeater and shorts that accentuate his form, you two sit next to each other on your cushy sofa and surf the TV for something to watch. You feel Joel’s hairy knees against your jean-clad one and your heart flutters.

“Can’t believe I’m really here,” Joel says softly as you pass re-runs of Full House, a dog show. “Like I gotta fuckin’ pinch myself to know it’s not a dream.”

Suddenly you feel a large, weathered hand on your cheek.

“Missed you so much, babygirl,” he murmurs, looking into your eyes, massaging the line of your jaw ever so lightly, trying to hold your skittish gaze. “More than I even have words for.”

First, you avoid looking at him a bit bashfully, but then you stare up cautiously into those big brown eyes that feel like a familiar kind of home and you’re such a goner. You lean into his warmth, the warmth of his hand.

“Missed you too, Joel. So much,” you admit, never wanting this moment to end or him to let go of you. “More than anything.”

He leans forward a little and for a second you think…but then he’s leaning in and planting a heavy kiss on your forehead. A kiss that has weight to it – not those soft, weak ones that Max gives you haphazardly when he’s drunk or high – the only time he’s brave enough to be vulnerable with you. This kiss says something, means it so sincerely too. 

“Love you, honey,” he tells you. Then his face falls. “Sorry I…wasn’t quite there to say that to you enough in person.”

“It’s okay, Joel. I forgive you,” you insist. “I love you so much, dummy. More than you even know!”

But you truly do appreciate the sentiment. 

***

You settle on an old, black and white classic, Paper Moon, that’s playing on the TV Land channel.

Joel wraps a big arm around you and you snuggle close. You’re pretty sure there isn’t a better feeling in the world than being this close to him. Even after all these years he still smells like Joel; like home (and, if you’re being honest, a bit like your vanilla shampoo) .

You lean against him, your cheek pressing into one of his firm pecs. You begin to feel sleepy, drunk on the steady sound of his heartbeat, alive and beating against you and really here . 

You nod off.

***

At first, you don’t believe it, but you feel someone with strong, firm arms lifting you into the air, cradling your back and the insides of your knees in a bridal-style carry. The movement wakes you, but you don’t open your eyes because the safety and security you feel is too good to give up. Joel carries you to your bedroom and lays you down gently in your bed. You’re still in day clothes and shoes so Joel takes off your worn sneakers with a feather-light touch and places them at the foot of the bed – you can tell from the soft thumps it makes. He maneuvers you so tenderly under the covers and tucks you in with love and care. You wonder the last time someone did that for you and pull up a blank. If anyone ever did that for you it was probably Joel. Maybe your mom did when you were really young. Certainly your father nor Aiden ever did – your father hadn’t liked to touch you except out of anger – kind of like you had some kind of weird, contagious disease. Aiden’s hands had almost always hurt too, but not Joel’s – never his. 

He breaks you from your thoughts by pressing another kiss to your forehead. Your eyes are still closed so you aren’t sure, but you think he watches you for a second and lets out a long sigh. 

Then you hear your bedroom door close softly so as not to disturb you. You smile, you can’t help it, and drift back off into a peaceful sleep.

***

You wake up to a mumbling, grunting sort of sound. You look over at your clock and read 3:42 a.m. You sit up. You can kind of hear some muffled noises coming from outside your room. At first, you feel a little concerned – like maybe Joel is in pain or something as he is the only one who could be making the noises. The walls in your apartment are paper-thin. Like you could hear him sneeze clear as day if he were to because sound travels through the shitty walls so easily. You should have told him that. But what the fuck is he doing up at 3 a.m.? 

You creep (and you mean creep) silently to the door of your bedroom and open it the tiniest crack. The way your apartment is laid out, the back of the sofa is the first thing you see and the back of Joel’s head about six feet away. He doesn’t sound in pain the way he’s groaning and then you understand exactly what he’s doing. Of course the man is jerking off! After being in prison, stuck around people for so long of course he wanted a good, private wank. He isn’t looking at anything from what you can tell, no magazines or anything. Must be using his imagination. You wonder what he’s thinking about, if he’s gotten good at that over the years.

You should turn around, slink back into bed, and cover your ears with a pillow so the man can have some privacy. But, fuck, the way he’s grunting. His voice is so fucking deep and sexy and then he lets out a soft, vulnerable moan and you feel heat envelope your whole body. You think you hear a soft fuck roll off his tongue and your heart almost beats right out of your chest. You can hear the lewd slapping of his fist on skin getting louder and more intense. Then you hear a soft take it, fuck. And Jesus, you are so fucking wet between your thighs. You ought to be ashamed. Instead, you reach down your hand feverishly beneath the band of your jeans and soaking underwear instinctively to stroke yourself ever so slightly. You sigh in relief, but you are fucking gushing, your fingers covered in your slick. You can’t see anything besides the back of Joel’s head, technically, so this couldn’t be that wrong, could it? He lets out a soft groan, you can tell he’s holding back so as not to be heard, but the desperation in the pathetic little noises this hulking man is making is turning on every switch inside you. Oh how you want to go over there and take him in your mouth, to taste him. God you are so fucked up! You’re still touching yourself gently, not really fully going at it yet, considering the possibilities that could follow if you went over there. But before you can decide to do anything, Joel positively whines, moans, and grunts fuck, unh, and you think but aren’t sure, babygirl, and finishes.

You stop dead still in what you’re doing. Did he really say “babygirl” or was that just your horny-ass imagination playing tricks on you? You’ve never heard Joel call anyone babygirl except you. Was he really thinking of you? On the one hand, if true, mega fucked up. On the other, wow, incredibly hot. You think about going over there and asking him to finish you off or something as crazy as in all those dumb romance novels you used to read in middle school, but just as quickly as the idea comes to you, you hear another noise: loud snoring. Joel is asleep.

Typical.

You snort to yourself. That was so quintessentially Joel. You don’t want to disturb him now. The moment has passed. And only then is when you remember you have a fucking boyfriend. 

That doesn’t stop you from closing your door softly, crawling back into bed, and reaching your hand down beneath your panties to touch yourself. You stroke your clit, imagining it is Joel’s rough hand rubbing against you. Holy fuck. You haven’t been this wet since you used to touch yourself thinking about him in the past. It’s like he can reach every part of you, every layer in a way that no one else can. You know the whole thing is so fundamentally fucked up, but you can resist sinking into your favorite fantasy. The smell, the touch, the feel of him. You imagine the noises he was making so beautifully on the couch, feel heat coil through your entire body, and immediately cum hard without even sticking a finger inside yourself. 

The pleasure you feel is so unparalleled and real you have to cover your hand with your mouth not to scream out your powerful orgasm. 

Sweat drenches your whole body as you come down. 

God, you are so fucked.

***

The next morning you wake up to the wafting smell of someone cooking eggs. You emerge from your room a little sheepishly from last night’s events to find Joel behind the kitchen counter making eggs and toast. 

“Mornin’, babygirl,” he grins, his eyes shining like he’s excited about something.

And then you realize: that something is you.

You grin back.

“Good morning, Joel,” you beam at him.

You were so afraid things would feel awkward after what you heard last night, but nothing ever feels awkward with Joel. In some ways, he’s still just your average dorky, friendly old ex-stepdad, convicted felon. In other ways, everything about him sets your heart on fire, but it would be stupid to ruin what you have with him because you think it’s remotely possible he might be interested back. You know this is dramatic, but if he flat-out rejected you, you think you might die. Truly. Like those butterflies inside you would beat their wings so hard they’d burst your heart.

“‘Membered you liked ‘em poached,” he nods, breaking you from your thoughts. 

He scoops two poached eggs onto one of your plates and grabs a piece of toast from the toaster which he smears with butter like how you used to eat toast as a kid. You can’t believe he remembered.

“Thanks so much,” you tell him.

He grabs a few eggs and toast for himself and sits beside you at the counter. 

“Nice to be able to cook me ‘n you some real food,” he remarks. “If I eat one more cup o’ noodles in my lifetime I swear to God Almighty…” he trais off.

He’s looking at you like you put the goddamned sun in the sky. Your heart melts as you stare at his features, the faint curls in his hair. Oh, how you want to reach out and touch him. But that just isn’t how you operate. You won’t ruin what you already have.

The butterflies in your chest howl. 

***

` You lay out the day’s schedule to Joel. You have plenty of time to hang about (you see him eyeing the guitars), and then you need to go shopping for some actual clothes for Joel since the things you brought for him don’t constitute a proper wardrobe. Then you will go out to dinner and meet Max. 

Joel grunts a nod at that last part. He doesn’t seem too thrilled.

“Wanna show me what you’ve been playing?” he asks hopefully as he gets up to put both of your plates in the sink,

“‘Course!” you nod enthusiastically. “Max says I need to work on my fingerpicking so I can’t promise it’ll be all that good.”

Joel rolls his eyes.

“Show me what you’ve got.”

***

You sit down on the couch right next to Joel, each of you holding your respective guitars in hand, across your laps. 

Joel looks ecstatic to have his guitar back in his hands. He fiddles with the tuning and finger-picks a faint melody.

“Haven’t played one since the prison band. But then some dumb motherfucker clobbered another sorry son of a bitch to death with a saxophone so that ended our music privileges,” Joel explains. 

“Jeez,” you reply.

Joel is sitting so close you can feel his body heat. You just want to hear him sing, but he insists on hearing you.

“Joel,” you try as innocently as possible. “D’you remember how to do an A-flat? I forget and I need it for my song.”

“Sure, baby. Lemme help ya. Now put one finger on this bit of the 4th fret here,” he begins, snaking a big arm around your shoulders so he can maneuver your fingers to the correct position. 

His touch is electric. He feels so good and warm. You feel the intense urge to climb into his lap and embrace and stay there forever. His big caloused hand full of scars places your fingers correctly for the chord. The same hand that must have jerked himself to completion last night…You can’t help but wonder how much cum there was…The truth is, you know how to make an A-flat. You just wanted to feel him.

He backs away and you whine internally at the loss.

“There we go,” he says soothingly, reaching out to rub your shoulder. “That one can be tricky. Now where is my performance?”

Your nerves are squirming around inside you but you begin to play and sing to the best of your ability. 

You look into Joel’s eyes.

♪“ You've got a heart on fire / It's bursting with desire / You've got a heart filled with passion /  Will you let it burn for hate or compassion?” ♫ you sing. 

Joel watches you intently, sitting up straighter. 

♪ “What's the point with a love / That makes you hate and kill for? ♪

You sing as best and as seriously as you can. You look up and think you maybe see a tear in Joel’s eye.

When you finish, it’s clear Joel is finding it hard to select the right words to convey what he’s feeling. 

“I–” he tries. “That was…well, let me just show you how I can answer that if anyone ever could to a performance as beautiful as that.”

You blush. 

He begins to finger-pick a familiar tune, Instantly, you are transported back to eight years old in the back of Joel’s old pickup truck, listening to one of his many cassette tapes. It’s “I’ll Never Find Another You” by The Seekers. The original version of the song is pretty happy and upbeat, but the way Joel sings it slowly in his deep and weathered voice makes you feel sad and achy inside. The emotion behind his voice is palpable.

♪ “But if I should lose your love, dear / I don't know what I'd do / For I know I'll never find another you / Another you / Another you…” ♫ he trails off.

It’s your turn to tear up a little. It’s crazy to know he means every word he’s singing too. He sings like every word is his last breath. When he finishes you are crying a little.

“You oughta record an album,” you sniffle, leaning into his shoulder, throwing him a side hug.

“Wanted to be a singer,” he replies with a small grin, leaning his head against yours. “Back when I was young.” 

You sit back up straight.

“You did? I never knew that.”

“Don’t tell nobody really,” Joel replies, looking a bit sad you left his immediate proximity. “Just a stupid dream ‘n all that crap.”

“‘S not stupid,” you tell him. “You really have a beautiful voice, Joel. It’s like if I could take it, hold on to it, and keep it forever in my chest pocket next to my heart, I would.”

“That’s where I keep you, baby,” he tells you honestly.

He reaches up a big hand to yours and guides your own to place it right on his heart over his plaid shirt. You can feel it beating steadily below your palm to the rhythm of something as delicate and ferocious as the beating of butterfly wings.

“Right here.”

***

You take Joel shopping. At his insistence it is nothing fancy, just the local department store. That doesn’t stop you from dressing Joel up in ridiculous outfits of your choosing. You make him try on a Hawaiian shirt, some golf polos like your dad liked to wear, a pinstripe suit and he lets you because saying no to you has never been in his vocabulary. He acts grumpy on the outside, but you can tell he is amused. You know in the end, you’ll just end up buying every flannel shirt and jeans combo they have in the store, but it’s just fun anyway. You watch the fabric hug his torso, his tummy, the slight bulge at his waist. At one point he comes out shirtless and you try very hard not to swoon as you stare at the hair lining his chest and his adorable little tummy that you for some reason have the urge to bite. The band of his Hanes boxers sticks up past his jeans and he looks so good. He even lets out a genuine smile. The middle-aged sales attendant who is helping you even takes a good look at him which makes the butterflies inside you swarm possessively. 

Finally, you make him try on a proper white-collared button-down shirt and black dress pants with matching black shoes and he looks so good you’re actually at a loss for words when he asks you what you think. They hug the curves and lines and planes of his body so nicely. All you can do is ask him to put on a black tie to match and he does at your behest following some customary griping that he would never wear such a monkey suit in the first place. The effect that a fully dressed-up Joel has on you is not one to be reckoned with. He might as well be wearing the men’s version of lingerie for how it makes you throb and ache between your legs. He looks like a force of nature, commanding and tall. It makes you weak. All you say is,

“Looking good, old-timer.”

He snorts.

When you finally ditch all the fun clothes and grab the essentials, Joel offers to go pick up the car while you pay. He tries to give you his eight-year-old credit card, but you insist on treating him on the condition he buys the “monkey suit.” After a bit of prodding, he gives in and you go to the sales attendant to pay at the counter. 

“Your dad is really cute,” the sales attendant giggles to you as she rings up the pile of clothes. 

Your cheeks go a bit red. You don’t really care enough to correct her.

“He’s my guy,” is all you say absentmindedly as you fish out your wallet from your purse.

The sales attendant hands you the receipt and on it, you see a scrawled phone number.

“For If he’s single,” she explains. “I’m Barb from sales.”

You look her over. She’s close to Joel’s age and conventionally pretty with long brown hair. The exact kind of woman Joel should be dating should he choose to get back in the game. Your stomach twists and the butterflies howl inside you.

You take the receipt, thank her, and join Joel back in the car (who is more than happy to be driving this time). 

“What took so long?” he asks casually. “You two writing a novel in there?”

You think seriously about what you should do. You consider letting the bugs have their way and tearing the receipt with Barb’s number on it to shreds. But you want good things for Joel. The chance of you two ever being together the way you wish is so far-fetched that you know you shouldn’t even be thinking it. A literal pipe dream. He was your stepdad for christsakes. He literally fucked your mother! (Gross!). Barb is exactly the kind of woman Joel should be going after if he’s up to dating right now. You hand him the receipt begrudgingly. 

“Sales Lady likes you,” you sat flatly. “Name is Barb.”

“Oh,” he says softly like he’s a bit flattered. 

He looks back at her through the glass door of the store and she waves at him. He waves back politely. You feel your stomach twisting into knots. 

“You think…you think you’re gonna call her?” you finally ask as casually as humanly possible, dreading the answer. 

Joel looks over at you, his gaze sweeping over you. Then looks back at Barb through the window. He looks her up and down.

“Nah,” he says with a smirk, looking back at you. “She ain’t my type. Only need one girl in my life right now anyways,” he winks.

Was that Joel flirting? With you?

Regardless, you smile back and then sigh in relief and grin to yourself as you two drive away. 

Much to your satisfaction, Joel crumples up the receipt and throws it out the window for good measure. 

***

You get ready for dinner, to go to a nice Mexican-Japanese fusion restaurant that Max picked out. You wear a red dress that accentuates your figure and matching heels and to your shock, Joel reemerges from the bathroom in the white button-down shirt and black dress pants you picked out for him (you had been sure flannel would be part of his ensemble). God, he looks good. A part of you wants to ditch Max and just stay here with Joel forever. He looks you over, his dark eyes sweeping over your frame. You think there is a tinge of possessiveness in his voice when he says,

“ Christ, you look beautiful, babygirl.”

***

You arrive before Max and sit down at the fancy white table-cloth-covered table next to Joel, a booth facing you. Max finally makes an appearance a half hour late and sits down across from you, sweeping his hair out of his face, sliding into the booth. Joel is frowning and the butterflies beat their wings inside you nervously.

“Sorry I’m late,” Max announces, puffing out his chest a little and smoothing out his collared shirt as he looks down at his watch and then over at Joel. “Hey, baby,” he says to you. Then, “And, uh, nice to meet you. Joe, was it? Heard a lot about you.”

“Joel,” Joel replies flatly, eyeing Max.

Max is a good-looking guy, everyone says so, but he looks more like a little boy than you’ve ever thought as he squirms uneasily in his seat under Joel’s unrelenting gaze and launches into a tirade about his frat’s inter-mural lacrosse team practice and how his team should have totally won the scrimmage and that’s why he’s late. And of course, he was the one to score the most goals.

“And the taxi cab driver was a nightmare. Only spoke Spanish. It’s like, if you come to this country speak fucking English, am I right?”

You notice Joel’s jaw tighten and his fingers clench. 

“Max, that’s so rude!” you tell him, frowning. “We’re at a fucking Mexican restaurant!”

“Anyway,” Max continues, rolling his eyes at the interruption like he barely even heard you, smirking. “Where’d you go to school? What do you do for work, Joel?  Besides making license plates, I mean. Kidding!” he insists as you stare daggers at him. 

Joel leans forward ever so slightly but you slip your leg over his to hold him back and he calms down a fraction. It’s like when you touch him, everything tense in him melts away. 

Joel sits up straighter in his chair and looks at you, stretching his arm across the back of your seat protectively like it’s a casual thing and not an unconscious sign of possessiveness.

“I’m a mechanic,” he grunts unceremoniously to Max. “I mean, I was anyways…Didn’t go to school.”

Max frowns ever so slightly. 

“You didn’t go to college? You must’ve gone to trade school at least?”

“Nope. Picked up what I know over the years. Not everyone gets a free ride from their parents,” Joel smirks.

“Free ride?” Max snaps. “I’ll have you know I spend every summer interning at a law firm!”

“Yeah, your dad’s,” you can’t help but snicker.

Max’s cheeks turn a bit pink.

“At least I’m not a psych major,” he shoots back. “I mean, no offense, babe!”

“What’s wrong with psychology?” Joel snarls, his eyes darkening. “You ought to be proud to have such a thoughtful and intelligent girl like Y/N studying such a topic.”

It’s your turn for your cheeks to go pink. 

“Joel–”

“Who said I wasn’t?” Max sneers. 

That makes you feel a bit better. 

“I’m just saying, she could have inherited the second-best law firm in the tri-state area from her pops if she was pre-law like me,” he smirks.

Your smile fades, used to hearing this kind of shit from him. He knows you and your father don’t get along at all, but not the full extent of it. He also knows you don’t have an interest in pre-law. But you swallow down how you really feel.

“It’s fine, Joel,” you tell him, placing a hand down on his thigh.

It’s not that you enjoy the way Max has been talking to you, but you are so used to it from the men in your life that it feels like the common denominator must be you. And sometimes it feels like maybe they have some kind of point. And fighting back only makes things worse. You’ve learned that over the years the hard way.

“It’s not fine!” he snaps like he’s trying to get you to see sense, looking deeply insulted on your behalf. Your heart thunders in your chest. “This boy has never worked an honest day in his life and he’s telling you what you ought to be doing? Bet his hands are soft as a baby’s ass. He doesn’t know shit about you, babygirl.”

You may not know the hardship of labor that Joel has taken on in his life, but your hands are not smooth. They are full of scars. And Joel is right. Max’s are soft like silk. You look down at the most prominent, ugly scar on your middle finger. You don’t even know which man in your life gave it to you. But you do know it means something. Shows you survived something. Survived your stupid father too, not that Max seems to care.

But Max never loses. 

“Whatever,” he smirks dismissively. “Sorry I’m not some, like, common blue-collar worker. But I guess I should be taking advice from someone who became a fucking convicted felon ‘cause they drank too much one night,” he shrugs with a terrible sneer.  

You know it’s over then.

But Joel surprises you. Doesn’t immediately strangle Max like you thought he might. Simply stands up tall and silent over Max’s frame which has suddenly begun to shake ever so slightly in obvious fear, his blue eyes widening. Joel’s fists are clenched tightly at his sides. 

“Wouldn’t mind them sendin’ me right back in, ” Joel growls low. “Drunk or not.”

You shiver and Max positively cowers. 

“Got something to say? Don’t wanna take it outside?” Joel leers, smirking ever so slightly at the trembling boy before him. “I’d even let a little boy like you take the first swing.”

“Your stepdad’s a freak, Y/N,” Max stammers, not taking his eyes off of Joel. 

“Joel, it’s fine, okay?” you growl, not wanting him to actually hurt your boyfriend. Let alone in public! “Shouldn’t talk about Joel like that though, Max! Jesus!”

“Babe, I’m sorry, okay?” Max tries, eyeing back and forth between you and Joel. “I’m just trying to look out for you. I don’t get what you see in him with a real Dad like yours! Your dad has so much to give you!”

Look out for you? So much to give you? What could he possibly give besides a stupid law firm and two black eyes? 

Max looks a bit desperate. Him apologizing for anything is actually a new concept for you. Your heart twitches ever so slightly. He must actually like you a lot. But Joel would never do anything to hurt you if it was in his power. At least not intentionally, unlike your real father. 

“That’s it. I’m leaving,” Joel snarls moodily, turning around. “Don’t want to do things I might regret to Mr.Future-Corporate-Lawyer over here. Have fun with him .”

Joel looks deeply hurt. Like you are choosing Max over him or something. That’s never what this has been about, has it? Doesn’t Joel know you’d do anything for him? That the hurt on his face hurts you more than anything you’ve ever felt. Ever.

“Joel, wait!” you decide and disappear after him, leaving Max behind at the table.

“Babe, what the fuck!?” Max yells, but you don’t care. “Come back here!”

***

You ride back in silence, Joel’s hands turning white against his grip on the steering wheel. 

When you break through to the front door of your apartment, Joel finally snaps, the anger on his face directed at something that feels like you for the first time in your life.

“You really love that little son of a bitch, don’t you?” he sneers, uncharacteristically harshly towards you. 

“So what if I did?” you shoot back, a little shocked. “It’s none of your business, Joel. What the fuck?”

“It is so my business,” he snaps back. “That kid is no good for you, Y/N. He doesn’t understand you. You deserve someone much better than that who will actually go to the ends of the earth for you. He wouldn’t do anything for you.”

There is a desperation and vulnerability in Joel’s words and tone that you’re not sure you’ve heard before. He sounds like he had been waiting the whole car ride to say this, maybe even his whole life. You aren’t sure.

“Max does give a shit about me,” you try to convince yourself, getting angrier. “I mean at least he was there for me while you were gone.”

Joel flinches.

“How do you know what’s so good for me and what’s not when you dipped out of my life for eight years?” you continue harshly. “Because why? It wasn’t because you were drunk, was it? It was because you couldn’t control your anger. You never could.”

He stares at you.

“I controlled it for you,” Joel says so quietly you almost miss it. “ You are the only reason I did any of it.”

“What?” you stammer, not sure you want to hear more. “W-what do you mean, Joel? Any of what?”

A million thoughts begin to run through your mind, but you push them aside. Theories about the case and your ideas of Joel’s true nature all threaten to drown you but you push them away.

“Do you want to know why I really killed that sick son of a bitch?” Joel asks dangerously after a long moment of silence. You stare at him, your body frozen. He looks down at his hands, flexing them like he can still feel them punching or around that disgusting man’s throat. “Why I killed him all those years ago? It was no accident, I’ll give you that. Manslaughter, my ass. I killed that scum of the Earth because he threatened you . To do terrible things to you with those disgusting hands of his. So I broke each one, but it wasn’t enough. I killed him because I didn’t want you to get hurt and because I didn’t want you to live in fear of him. I was tired, Y/N. Tired of being afraid for you in a world that doesn’t let you do shit except fight back. I loved you so much, Y/N, it hurt me. It scared me, but I couldn’t let him hurt you. I’d die before I let anyone hurt you again, not him, not your father, not Max, not anyone. You have to understand. I love –” 

And then it’s all over. You’re not sure who moves first, but you think it might be you. The butterflies are rustling and thundering and screeching inside you and you kiss him. And Joel kisses back, devouring your mouth in his. You grab the back of his graying brown hair and pull him as close to you as you think is humanly possible. He cradles the back of your head so gently you almost lose your breath. And you are kissing and kissing and kissing and kissing. There is nothing else in the universe except this kiss. You have never felt anything like this in your life. It is like every butterfly inside you has gone silent. It is like the world has stopped just for you and something new is forming inside you.

Joel killed that vile man for you. To keep you safe. Like he always said or showed that he would. He gave his life away for you. He did the unspeakable for you.

He bites down on your bottom lip and all your brain can manage to coherently think is: more, harder .

But then Joel is breaking away from you slowly.

NO! your heart cries out, the delicious pleasure and pain draining away from you. The butterflies swarm dangerously inside your chest, worse with every inch he travels from your lips.

“Joel,” you whine. “What? You…you don’t want–”

“Don’t even say that, Y/N,” he growls dangerously. “Of course I want you. How could I not? I have spent my entire life wanting you in some capacity, baby, but I ain’t no good for you either, alright? I…” he says slowly like it takes every inch of his body to agree to say this. “I am not a good man, Y/N. I never have been. I’ve done wrong in every chapter of my life. You deserve someone much better. I don’t want to hurt you. Physically or mentally. Our history… The damage I’ve done…” he trails off.

“You don’t understand,” you swallow, tears forming in your eyes. “You have already loved and hurt me more than any human being on planet Earth. And yet somehow there is nothing you could do that would keep me away from you, don’t you get that? The Joel Miller I love is not a good man and I don’t care. I want all of you. All of the pretty and crooked pieces you try to hide away from me. You killed a man with your bare hands, arguably one of the worst things a human can do, and I don’t care. I still want you, Joel. Maybe even more because of it. No one has ever loved me the way you do and that is the love I want and it terrifies me.”

A single tear falls down Joel’s right cheek. You reach up to wipe it away, but Joel grabs your hand on the way reflexively, so you help him wipe his own tears away. 

“I love you,” you whisper.

“I would move the Earth for you,” Joel whispers back.

“I know,” you nod. “I’ve always known. I–”

But he is kissing you again before you can say another word, like a man starved. You hold onto his cheeks, your fingers caressing his stubbly beard. 

“ Joel,” you whine when you break for air.

“I wanted this so badly,” he says softly, grinning a lopsided grin. “Can’t believe this is real.”

“Me too,” you giggle.

You have to lean up a bit, but you press your forehead to his gently.

“Oh, baby,” Joel smirks. “You’ve made me the happiest man alive, ya know that? You like

it when I go a little rough, honey?” he smirks down at you in satisfaction, reading your mind.

You have to stop yourself from getting lost in the warm pools of his brown eyes, your panties soaked.

He reaches an affectionate hand down to rub your side softly.

“This okay, babygirl?” he coos, massaging his hand down your torso.

“I’d let you do anything to me, don’t you know?” you snicker. “Pain or pleasure, it’s all the same to me. I like all of that. I just want you so bad.”

“Think a safe word is in order,” Joel grins, leaning down to kiss your neck. “How about ‘butterflies?’” you suggest. 

“Sounds good to me, baby,” he grins, looking genuinely happy for the first time in hours. 

He leans down and places a calloused hand around your throat, not squeezing (yet – you hope) and plants soft kisses and bites down your expanse of skin. 

“All mine,” he mutters into your skin. “My beautiful babygirl.”

You feel his erection pressing against you through his black dress pants which makes you moan softly.

His hand trails over your crotch and he starts rubbing over the tight fabric of your red dress.

“That okay?”

“Yes,” you whine. “Want more, Daddy.”

Oh shit. You don’t mean to say it like that! You know it is about ten levels of fucked up to call Joel that, but how is it your fault that in every fantasy that’s how you think of him? You figure you’re probably past the point of weird and every other standard of decency, but you’re still afraid.

“Sorry…” you mumble. “I–”

“No, no, baby,” Joel says quickly. “It’s alright, you can call me whatever you want. I don’t mind, sweetheart.”

“You think it’s weird,” you mumble again, further stupid tears forming in your eyes.

He snickers. 

“Baby, I think we’re beyond weird at this point. Let me show you how turned on it makes me.”

Joel takes your hand and places it on his crotch. He takes your left hand, the one with the scar and you cringe a little, but he is rock-hard.

That’s good because you’re positively drenched.

“You’re okay, sweetheart. Daddy likes that more than you know, alright?”

You take your hand back, smiling, but you cover your scarred finger, shocked he will allow this fantasy for you.

“Whatcha hidin’ from me, baby?” he asks, noticing the positioning of your hands.

“I hate that scar on my finger. ‘S so ugly,” you admit.

Joel looks flabbergasted. 

“That’s the last damn thing I think of when I look at you. Ugly? Who in the fuck told you that?”

“How it got there is ugly. It’s marred skin, looks gross,” you mumble.

Joel moves to take out his cock, and when you nod he unzips and unbuttons his dress pants, pulling out his length. You have fantasized about his cock for god knows how long so you are more than excited to see it. He reaches to place your left hand with the scarred fingers around the length of his dick, which is thick, but longer than you expected. The leaking head is almost purple and your mouth begins to water as you stroke him gently.

“It’s part of you,” Joel tells you, his eyes connecting with yours. “I love it. It shows you survived. Gonna jerk off to it, Daddy loves it so much. And when I’m done you’re gonna love it too. Swear I’ve got so many over the years I can barely even count ‘em. Even got a few on my middle finger. Maybe even one from a certain guitar pick you made me. Nothing like that could ever make me stop wanting you, ya know that, right?”

You smile and take your time stroking him, wanting to show him how much you love and care for him, scars and all.

He grunts softly, closing his eyes, but then shoos your hand away with a feverish kind of want. 

“Yeah, touch yourself now, baby. Daddy wants to see how wet you are for him. With that scarred finger. C’mon, now. ‘S gonna make you feel so good.”

You do as you’re told and reach down underneath your dress and begin to touch yourself, especially with your middle finger. You stroke your clit and then your dripping wet slit. You moan softly as Joel’s eyes rake over you, taking in every sigh and groan you emit. The butterflies are forming something big inside you, which presses against the inside of your tummy and ribcage.

“Daddy,” you whine.

“Enough, little one,” Joel whispers. 

He takes out your hand and begins to suck the slick off of each of your fingers, groaning deeply, making intense eye contact the whole time.

“Fuck, angel,” he moans, having a tough time keeping himself together, you can tell. “Taste and smell better than like how I pictured. Like you were fuckin’ made for me, I swear.”

He reaches a hand of his own down to stroke himself and his moans become more desperate. Finally, he sucks on your middle finger covered in your slick and groans so deeply you feel like you might cum untouched. He stares into your eyes. 

“ Mine, ” he growls possessively. “Oh, shit! Gonna–”

Then he takes your left hand and leads it to meet his throbbing cock. You stroke him, harder this time, fisting his thick length, moaning softly and that does it for him.

Joel cums all over your hand, oozing white globs of cum over your fingers, once, twice, three times. 

“Fuuuuuck, babygirl,” he groans. “Oh, shit, I’m so sorry! Couldn’t help it. Yeah, suck it off, baby. That’s it,” he commands, and you do, licking up all of his cum, even the part that got on your middle finger. 

When Joel comes down he still looks half-crazed with desire.

“Sorry about the, uh, early release. It’s been a while since anyone touched me,” he babbles in embarrassment, his cheeks flushed pink. “But I don’t wanna hear shit about your gorgeous hands ever again, you hear me, babygirl?”

“Yes, Daddy,” you nod, snickering. 

He looks like that one word has set his entire universe back in order again. You honestly don’t care at how fast Joel came. You love how much it shows he wants you. And his heady taste is making you weak. You could taste him for days and days and never get tired, you’re sure.

“Can still get you off though, don’t worry. Shoulda let you cum first, but I couldn’t help it with the things you do to me. Goddamn. Can Daddy eat your pussy, baby?”

You grin, but then your face falls. 

“Didn’t shave,” you admit, feeling dirty. 

Max hates your hair down there.

Joel looks at you in confusion.

He laughs, his face scrunching up.

“Oh, sweetheart. You think I care about that? Only little boys give a shit about things like that. Not men.”

You shiver.

“Really?”

“Of course I don’t care. Didn’t ya hear what I just said? C’mon now. You can lie down on the couch.”

You follow instructions, pulling your dress over your head to reveal white lace panties and no bra. 

You move to take the panties off, but Joel stops you, staring at the lines and curves of your body. 

“Jesus, fuck,” he growls, taking you in.

You think you see his cock twitch ever so slightly. He palms his softening length instinctively.

“Beautiful,” he snarls, pushing you back on the sofa. 

You happily fall backward. 

He lies on top of you, his white button-down shirt pressing against your naked body tantalizingly. 

He bites your lips roughly and you groan against him.

“Daddy’s mouth,” he commands against you.

“Yeah, duh, Daddy,” you snicker.

As if he even needs to say it! 

He kisses down your neck expertly and you begin to shiver and whine, your pussy aching with need and neglect.

He stops at your breasts, sucking and biting each one.

“Daddy’s tits,” he declares, snaking a finger over the lace panties that protect your clit. “Of course,” you respond, moaning softly, grinding needily against him.

He continues lower, licking down your breasts and over your tummy which he plants with kisses that tickle and then one hard bite on your hip that leaves behind teeth marks.

“Daddy’s body,” he impresses upon you.

“Yes, Daddy. Only yours.”

“No more of that little shithead, Max,” he snarls, an inch above your clit.

“No more Max,” you repeat as he presses kisses down your pussy, still covered by soaked white lace panties. 

“Only Daddy.”

“Only you.”

“Good girl,” he growls.

He finally removes your panties and begins to eat and suck your clit and pussy so hard and enthusiastically, swirling his tongue around your bundles of nerves that you grow exponentially closer by the second.

“Joel,” you whine. “Oh my God.”

It doesn’t take long. The second his calloused hand is pressing a finger and then two inside of you it’s over. You were so needy for him that you could have even cum from just his mouth alone, but his hands are what send you over the edge. And something different happens as orgasm crashes down upon you. The butterflies all join together and transform into something bigger and softer, caressing your insides, cooing. It feels like a breathing white dove is spreading its wings inside you, the tips of its feathers brushing against your rib cage. And you cum harder than you ever have in your life. 

Pleasure engulfs you in currents, facilitated by the gentle flapping from deep

inside your body.

“ Joel,” you moan. “Oh my God. Daddy, pleaseee–”

“Please what, baby? Make my princess cum again? I would eat that pretty little clit and

pussy every day for the rest of my life if I could, fuck. God, so perfect and you’re so fuckin’ tight. Look how fucking hard you make me, angel.”

He takes one of your hands and places it on his half-hardening cock. Not going to lie, you are partially shocked at his recovery, but another part of you seems to know that if there was anyone in the universe that could do that to him it had to be you. 

“Never got hard again from anyone I’ve ever fucked before…” he trails off dreamily like he can read your thoughts. “You’re so gorgeous, babygirl.”

“Not so bad yourself, handsome,” you tell him lazily, pressing a kiss to the side of his mouth as you pull him closer to you. 

The heat from his body keeps you so warm and tender and for a moment you lie on the couch, Joel’s still-clothed body pressed to yours.

“Can you fuck me, Joel?” you ask, squirming against him needily.

“You can’t say that shit to me, baby,” Joel groans, his cock getting harder. “Not quite ready yet.”

“Lemme help you out,” you offer, pouting. 

You reach down and stroke his half-hard length and then bend over and press a gentle kiss to the tip of his cock.

Joel swears, staring down at you with so much adoration it pours off his face. No man has ever looked at you like that before. You’re certain. Perhaps no man ever will again? Not like that.

“Shit, baby,” Joel babbles stupidly, his eyes threatening to swallow you up in that beautiful shade of umber. “Never gonna forget this moment,” he grunts as you begin to suck his cock properly, feeling it slowly get hard enough to throb between your lips with each thrust of your head and gluck of your throat. 

You stare up at him, your eyes wide and wanting and Joel lets out a soft, vulnerable moan as you begin to really suck him and take him down the walls of your throat.

“ Unh , babygirl, fuck,” he whines and you have never quite heard Joel so desperate before. “Gotta pull out or I’m gonna cum. Holy fuck.” 

It sounds just like it did the night you accidentally spied on him jerking off. 

“You’ve been thinking about me a lot, huh, Daddy?” you ask, releasing Joel from your mouth like he wanted, though his hips buck forward ever so slightly with desire, the tip of his cock just barely scraping against your mouth. He grunts.

“Maybe so,” he replies, looking a little guilty. “Don’t know how not to these days.”

“Heard you on the couch last night,” you whine yourself. “Had to touch myself ‘cuz of it, Daddy. I’m sorry.”

Joel reaches out a hand to cup your crotch and rub against your slick pussy.

“That’s so fuckin’ naughty, baby,” he groans. “Look how wet that made you. All for me.”

You steal a glance at his cock and find that the tip is weeping too. And he is so fucking big compared to the size of your hand. Fuck!

“You were thinking about me, weren’t you?” you whisper.

“All about you, baby,” Joel nods in agreement, his hips twitching ever so slightly. “‘Bout touching you just like this.”

He slinks two big fingers inside you and you moan deliciously, the feathery wings of the newly-formed dove fluttering against your insides. 

“Gotta stretch you a bit more,” he grunts into your throat, pushing in a third finger. “Daddy’s so big and you’re so tight, angel. Don’t wanna hurt ya. Not too bad at least. Not yet…That’s it, pretty girl, fuck,” he grins when you slide back on his thumb in pleasure which had traveled to the rim of your asshole “Good girl, so good for Daddy. So naughty too. Don’t think Daddy won’t punish you.”

“Want you to hurt me, Daddy,” you moan. “When you fuck me. Please fuck me hard. I want all of you – pain and pleasure. One hundred percent Joel. Joel, please, I need–” 

And Joel does stop for a moment.

“Never hurt you in a way you didn’t beg for,” he tells you seriously. “You know that right, baby?”

You stop your rutting against him and look into his eyes.

“Are you kidding? You would protect me with your dying breath. I know that, Joel. Never been afraid of you since I’ve really known you. Not once. I mean: fuck; you gave up your whole life for me. To keep me safe, for fuckssake. In every word you say and don’t say to me I can feel how much you love me.”

 “I do love you so much, babygirl,” he whispers, nuzzling your forehead. “If I had to, I’d do all of it all over again if it meant I’d get you. I’ve made mistakes, big ones, but protecting you, loving you was never one of them.” 

Warm tears trail down your cheeks, but Joel licks and kisses them away. 

“Wanna feel me inside you?” he asks. “Don’t wanna go too fast, but I need you, baby. Needed you for so long…Sweet little pussy’s just cryin’ for Daddy, huh? Gonna fit me just like a glove, I just know it — if you wanna…”

“Yes, please, fuck me, Daddy! Please, Joel Wanna feel you—ah!” you moan as Joel shoves his entire length into your pussy in one hard thrust eagerly. “Oh my God, please fuck me harder!” you moan, reeling from the deep blend of pain and pleasure of him sinking inside you, clenching down around the thickness of him. “Joel, please!”

He pauses, sweat glistening on his brow, sneering.

“You really want harder?”

You shiver. The way he says that makes your heart beat wildly in your ears.

“Because babygirl, I would treat you like porcelain if you want it so. I will never hurt you, my angel, my gift from god, my goddamn sweetest heart please know I will break my fucking hands before they would hurt you, before I would ever hurt you in a way that you didn’t want, no matter how much it hurt me. Do you understand me?”

“Of course, Joel. But you want it too,” you smirk. “You aren’t innocent in this, are you?”

“Fuck, of course i’m not innocent. I want you, babygirl. In every way there is to want another. Want every inch of you, inside and out. Wanna mark you up so the world knows you’re mine, honey. Want everyone to smell me on you and know I marked you, moved in you, darlin’, please, see, I’m no fucking Hemingway, I didn’t go to college, I’m not like you with words, but I need you to understand that I mean this with my whole chest and heart. Really, I’m not a big talker, never was, babygirl, but I need you to understand I—”

  “I do, you dumbass fucking fool!” you shout, giggling at his desperation. “I’d understand you even if you were speaking another language. You’ve made your intentions loud and clear. I don’t want a Hemingway, I want Joel Miller!”

You pull him in for a kiss and he thrusts in you again a second time and you end up moaning clumsily in his mouth, but you can feel him smiling , smiling like some dumb idiot against you and maybe you called him the correct insult because he is a dumbass fucking fool for you. And it turns out you must be one as well because you are smiling like an idiot for him too.

“ Joel,” you moan as he begins to move inside you, hitting deep places that Max or any of your previous exes never went. Pleasure is tracing itself along the line of your stomach. “Oh my god, I love you so much,” you babble and you’ve never meant that more than you do now.

You can feel Joel coming apart above you, plowing into you, sighing deeply. His grunts and moans and thrusts spur on the intense pleasure. 

“More!” you moan. “Oh my god. Harder, please, I need–”

Joel plants rough bites on your neck and kisses too like he’s trying to consume every inch of you. 

He places a large hand around your throat questioningly and you nod.

“Beg for it,” he commands in his deep, sexy voice — the voice that’s been in every wet dream you’ve ever had. You think you might just pass out from the sound alone. 

“Choke me, Daddy,” you whine as pathetically as you possibly can, batting your eyes. “Oh, please, I could cum from just this, but I want more. More of you. All of you.”

“As you fuckin’ wish, baby,” he snickers in amusement. “Bet no little boy ever fucked you like this, huh?” he growls, continuing his rough pace, slamming against your walls, his eyes growing wild.

“They don’t compare to you, Joel. It’s always been you. In every orgasm. Fuck, never felt like this! Shit! Shit!”

Joel reaches out his large scarred hand and applies gentle delicious pressure to your throat. You know even something like this can be dangerous, but you crave that feral look of violence in his eyes and the power that comes with it. You want him to own you completely – every inch of you. You want him to mark you just like he said he wanted to because he is yours and you are his and has it ever really been any other way? You can’t remember properly from the pleasure rushing through you, the white dove inside you spreading and fluttering its wings, cooing softly. You think it’s only ever been what you feel now.

“Joel, Joel, fuck!” you scream, orgasm building in you.

“I know, babygirl. I know,” he coos himself into your mouth.

He pulls you closer, presses his nose to yours, his lips to yours, biting and kissing like a starving man possessed. He looks into your eyes and it’s there! That look of pure predator closing in on its prey, that look of ownership but also the most intense love you think you’ve ever witnessed. You would recognize that look anywhere. Your starved brain cries out for oxygen beneath his iron grip. 

“Gonna cum again, angel,” Joel growls. “Gonna make you cum so hard you’re never gonna forget who you belong to. Whose pretty pussy this is.”

He is pounding so hard against your cervix and his dick is so big inside you and the pressure of his hand squeezing around you is so overwhelming and the scent of him could make you faint straight then and there, but you let go and feel yourself cumming in enormous waves as you squeeze down around Joel’s prick, the pleasure more intense than any single bodily experience you’ve had.

“ Daddy ,” you whine breathlessly, tears trickling out of your eyes. “Oh my god!”

“You’re mine, babygirl, always have been–FUCK!” he shouts into your throat, collapsing on top of you.

And then you feel him starting to empty himself inside you, painting your sensitive insides with trustful after trustful of hot cum. You’ve never felt so helplessly full and sticky in your life, the brilliant pleasure billowing through every inch of you. You want to feel like this every day, stuffed full of Joel’s cock, so close to him you can feel his heartbeat against yours, the one true place you belong. 

“So beautiful, babygirl,” he whispers in an exhausted type of awe.

When your words come back you reply,

“Shut up, you’re the hot one,” through a snicker. 

You look down at your body, covered in purple bite marks and bruises forming like galaxies across your body. 

Joel snorts. Then he sits up on the couch and you lean your cheek against him. You lean up to kiss his cheek and he blushes ever so slightly.

“I said a lot of stuff, Y/N, but I want you to know that I meant all of it,”

“Yeah, you probably said more in the last hour than you’ve ever uttered in your entire life,” you tease, sitting up.

“I’m serious,” he snickers.

“I am and was too,” you nod. “I’m so glad that you’re here with me — that we did this. I know that our…origin story is weird and unconventional and some might argue straight up wrong, but I need you, Joel. I don’t care about that or think I could go back to pretending to be what we were.”

“You think I’d want you to act like that?” he asks incredulously. “You think I want this to just be a one-time thing?”

“Of course not,” you smirk. “But as close as we are I can’t actually read your mind. I mean…how are we going to be together realistically?”

“I’m not sure,” Joel admits, frowning a little. “For now it has to be a secret unless you want your mother or brother in jail for murdering me this time around. But someday, I dunno. It’s dumb…”

“What?”

“I just have these thoughts sometimes about you ‘n me. I…” Joel’s cheeks turn a bit pink. “Had a lot of time to think in prison, you know? And I’d Imagine us living on a ranch somewhere quiet out in the country with a flock of sheep. I could work at the tractor and auto-body repair shop that’d be out there, you know, in this dream of mine, and you could be a counselor at a local school if that’s what ya wanted. I don’t know, l know it sounds silly, but nobody would know or bother us there. But I want you to finish school and have the best life possible, babygirl. I’d wait a thousand years for you, but if you didn’t want me anymore the way we are now, I’d respect that. And if you’d allow it, I’d still be there for you just in a platonic sense — or just there for you however you want because I can’t imagine my life with you in it. I’d do whatever it takes, brokenhearted or not. I just can’t be separated from you like that again. A day longer in prison and I could’ve keeled over and died. And it’s crazy how much I mean that.”

“I don’t ever want to be separated from you again, Joel,” you agree. “I know the original plan was for you to find work and get an apartment of your own and I would love for that to still happen, but with you being intimate with me in every way – even if it has to be a secret. I don’t pretend to know what the future holds, but I need you in mine. I’ve never needed something more than I need that. Understand?”

Joel pulls you into a hug and leans his chin on the top of your head. He kisses it then your forehead. You lean up and plant a kiss on his throat and then his Adam’s apple.

“Don’t mean to get too ahead of ourselves now. We can take things a day at a time,” he mumbles into your skin.

You yawn contentedly, the tiredness clawing at your eyes, so unbelievably spent.  

“I like hearing about your dreams and I’d go anywhere with you, Joel. But I am kinda dead from how good you just fucked me. Take me to bed?” You ask exhaustedly into his chest.

“Of course, babygirl,” he smirks down at you.

***

You don’t let go of Joel all night long, burrowed up against his chest, his heartbeat against your ear. And he doesn’t let go of you either. After the most intimate night of cuddles and snuggling you’ve ever experienced as well as the deepest and most restful sleep you’ve had in ages, you wake up to Joel gone from the bed. You frown, having wanted more than anything to wake up in his strong arms. Fear grips your insides as you wonder if he finally realized last night was a mistake and that you were never meant to be together in the first place (what you fear more than anything). A stupid vulnerable tear comes to your eye, but then you cock your head and hear music playing. Guitar music. 

You think of your apartment as shitty, but truthfully you care deeply about your little private space and one of the things you do actually love the most about it is the tiny balcony that overlooks a measly courtyard and part of the city. That’s where you find Joel in the deck chair holding his guitar, strumming it lazily.

“Mornin’, beautiful,” he says, fingerpicking a melody that scratches at the back of your mind with familiarity. 

“Morning, handsome,” you tell him softly, plopping your smaller hand down on his shoulder. 

The city hasn’t woken up yet, the soft glow of morning shining beams of light onto you and Joel, filling you with warmth. You sit down in the deck chair next to him, bathing in the sunlight.

“Whatcha playing?” you ask curiously, crouching to sit up on your knees.

“You know the song ‘Hallelujah’ by Leonard Cohen?” Joel asks in that beautifully deep voice of his. 

He isn’t even singing yet but you could listen to him forever. 

“‘Course,” you nod. “It’s a classic. You used to play it for me once in a blue moon.”

“Know what the word ‘Hallelujah’ actually means?” he asks. 

You think about it for a second.

“It’s about praising god and all that, right? Why d’you ask?”

He pauses, both his words and fingerpicking. 

“Babygirl,” he begins and you can tell he’s about to say something serious. “You know I’m not too good with words, but I need you to know this: I’ve never had much to thank god for in my life, except for Sarah, you know? But then He took her away…”

You place your hand on Joel’s and he looks at you sadly, but appreciatively. He flips it over and holds it in his giant paw of his own marked-up hand. 

“And I was so fucking angry. Nothing left in me. The only good part of me gone. I was a broken man. And I hated Him. But then He, despite the shit I’ve done…He gave me you . And I know our road hasn’t been easy or fair, and the pain you’ve felt and I have felt but…I guess what I’m trying to say is you are the reason I believe that any type of…goodness— of holiness— can exist in this universe. And I’m not a religious man, I don’t believe in most of that dogmatic type of shit, and I don’t think you do either, but I do think someone or something is up there and I wanna thank them for you. Does that make sense? Do you wanna hear what I mean? I just feel so damn grateful.”

A tear you hadn’t noticed was there rolls down your cheek. 

“Of course it does and of course I do,” you tell him.

You think perhaps this is the closest thing he can do to bearing his soul to you. 

And then he leans over and kisses the tear away and begins to fingerpick the familiar melody.

♪ “I heard there was a secret chord…”♫

You listen to his deep weathered voice as the sun grows higher in the morning sky, casting both light and shadow over Joel’s wrinkled, handsome face. The light trails over you too. You feel the dove inside you cooing contentedly, dusting its wings gently against the edges of your insides. 

♪There's a blaze of light in every word / It doesn't matter which you heard / The holy or the broken Hallelujah…”♫

When he finishes he places his large, scarred, calloused hand in yours and you hold it between your own scarred fingers.

“Thank you, Joel,” you tell him, meaning every word. “I think there’s hope for us, you know? I don’t believe in hippie-dippie type stuff, but something in this universe did bring us together. And I’ll be forever grateful for that too, ya know?”

Joel squeezes your smaller hand, his big fingers engulfing yours as the dove coos louder inside you.

“Babygirl, you know that I ain’t a good man, or a rich and educated one like maybe you thought you’d end up with, but I am less of a broken one because of you and I’m never letting you go. If we’re together, I think we have a chance.”

A/n:PLEASE COMMENT LIKE REBLOG IM BEGGING IM PLEADING IM CRYING DID THE SMUT LIVE UP TO YOUR DREAMS????

PART 1

PART 3 (coming soon)

Violent Heart Masterlist

Full Masterlist of all my work

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[downtwngrl]

INTRICATE.

hi so it’s been a WHILE. uhhhh rewatched challengers for the thousandth time and it broke me out of my writers block! i don’t know how im going to continue w this, so feel free to drop any ideas and ill add it to the lore 😈 note: series prob isn’t gonna end with any smut scene bc im incapable of writing one without it sounding stupid asf! but who knows, you might be surprised

cw: 1.4k words,,, art and reader are dating but fighting, set in stanford era, tashi is NOT injured, patashi, hints of reader crushing on tashi but repressing it, fighting, tensiontensionTENSION! basically everyone is friends with one another but they all want each other BAD. lmk what else i should add :)

“it’s complicated.” that’s what you say every time someone asks you what your relationship with art donaldson is. and it’s true— you guys are fiery, but not explosive. complex, but not convoluted. it’s just… strange. intricate. hence, complicated.

you think he’d probably say the same thing, but there’s no real way to know, since you can’t exactly ask. the two of you aren’t on speaking terms right now, and for the same reason you two stopped talking last time, and the time before that.

art donaldson can’t split his time between his girlfriend and his fucking best friend’s girlfriend. and you can recite the argument quite well, maybe even word for word; it’s still fresh in your mind, engraved there.

“c’mon, you can’t just keep ditching me for her. it’s annoying, and it hasn’t just happened once or twice, you know.”

“i know.” art sighed, a hand tangled in his hair as if to ground himself. your name fell from his lips, voice cracking midway. “what do you want me to do? she needed help with her physics homework.”

“she can get one of her fucking groupies to help her! she’s a big girl, she doesn’t need to rely on you.” the way you said it, mocking and condescending, was mean, and you know it. you don’t hate tashi— you can’t even bring yourself to dislike her. but it hurts every single time you text art on your motorola and get hit back with some half-assed variation of ‘helping tashi. sry :( i’ll come later.’ he never actually shows up at ‘later’, which only rubs salt in the wound.

art’s jaw ticked. his eyebrows furrowed and eyes darkened in a way you’d only seen once before, when someone was talking shit about tashi in the cafeteria. you had watched as she calmly reassured art that is was fine, that he needed to relax, but he only shook his head and clenched his fists. in that moment, you wondered if he ever got that angry if he overheard someone talking about you. you now doubt it.

“don’t talk about her like that.” he said it calmly, but your skin still prickled. “she’s an accomplished lady. what about you? what have you done?”

if you sounded condescending before, it was nothing compared to how he sounded then. you scoffed away the sinking feeling in your stomach, blinked back the sting in your eyes. there was a lot you could have said to him then: ‘i might not be half as good at tennis as she is, but that’s less embarrassing than being second-best to her boyfriend.’ or ‘i didn’t compete for her number and lose.’ hell, even a good ‘fuck you’ would have sufficed.

instead, you just stood there, frozen, as he grabbed his stanford sweatshirt and left.

when you tell the story to patrick, he laughs, and doesn’t stop laughing until you jab him with your elbow, effectively knocking the oxygen out of him. his hands raise in mock surrender before speaking. “sorry, it’s just funny to see him get like this, i guess.”

you frown. “what’s that supposed to mean?”

“i mean that he likes you, but he likes tashi. i know it, tashi knows it, and from what i heard on the walk here—” he gestures vaguely towards the door to your dorm, “—the school knows it, too. i dunno, i guess it’s amusing ‘cause art has never been so disturbed about this kind of shit. usually he just picks the girl he likes best, but he can’t.”

“you mean he can’t because you’re dating her.”

patrick smirks his signature smirk. you have the urge to punch his teeth out; vagueness is beginning to be a pet peeve of yours. “no, i’ve told him that tashi is free reign.”

the way your stomach flutters at that is shameful. you push the feeling away. “like, you guys aren’t..?”

patrick shrugs. “i mean, currently she hates me because i said i’d go to her match yesterday and i missed it.” these guys really need to stop promising us stuff, you think. “but yeah, when she isn’t pissed off, we’re dating, and we talk about it. ‘bout you guys. she doesn’t really care if the two of you make moves on either one of us.”

you don’t say anything, but your ears feel warm, and your heart is about to explode out of your chest. it doesn’t help when patrick takes that as a sign to keep talking and says—

“i don’t care either.” it suddenly hits you, the closeness between you and him. close enough that you can smell his cologne, one typical of a rich frat boy you’d pass by in the halls. but it feels different, with him. patrick’s smirk has shifted into a grin, a big one. you realize he’s been gauging your reaction, and is thoroughly pleased.

“oh,” you breathe. he snickers, repeats it back playfully. you don’t understand how he’s so relaxed, able to make light-hearted jabs in this moment. art likes you and tashi. tashi doesn’t care if he likes her, or if you like her. patrick doesn’t either. but where do you stand in this?

your phone jingles, the sound muffled from the blood roaring in your ears. you don’t know if you should thank or curse out whoever decided to call you at this second, but you excuse yourself to answer. patrick nods begrudgingly, backs up enough for you to have room to finally start to inhale and exhale again. “hello?”

“hey.” it’s art on the phone. impulsively, you look around, as if he’s hiding somewhere in the dorm he marched out of a few days ago.

holy fuck. “hey!” you sound too cheery to your own ears, and hope that over the line it sounds more convincing. you hear a sigh on the other end, and can imagine art physically loosen. “what, uh— i thought you were mad. at me.”

patrick perks up. ‘art?’ he mouths, and you nod. he attempts to come closer, but you swat at him, moving a few steps away. he pulls a face, but doesn’t move closer. still, he’s definitely trying to hear what art is saying.

“i was.” art laughs nervously, the sound tinny over the phone. “but you’re right. i fucked up. tashi… she isn’t my girl. i need to pay more attention to you, and that’s gonna happen starting now.”

she isn’t my girl. “she could be,” you think aloud. you tense. art chokes. patrick stifles a laugh.

“what?” you pray that he didn’t hear it. you had mumbled it, whispered it, there’s a chance it didn’t pick up. art says your name one, two, three times before you respond.

“sorry, i just zoned out a little.”

“no, you said something. baby, what’d you say?”

“i said ‘you should be’. like, you should be paying more attention, dumb joke, i was trying to sound threatening,” you slap your free hand against your lips to stop your word vomit, then your forehead as you reprimand yourself for acting so stupid.

art hums. “oh, okay.” it should relieve some on the tension in your shoulders, but it doesn’t. he usually laughs when you fluster, but he didn’t. is he unconvinced, or are you overthinking? “hey, tomorrow can you come to my practice at noon? we can go to the cafeteria after, i’ve got wayyy too many meal credits.”

you look to patrick for help, but he shrugs, enjoying the moment. “sure.”

art says his goodbyes, goes ‘mwah!’ through the phone (which usually makes you laugh, but now you feel bad), and once you say bye, he hangs up.

“i’ll go to his practice, too.” it’s never a question with patrick (or with tashi); he just lets you know. “tashi’ll be there. she’s always on the court when she’s free.” you find it endearing that he knows her schedule.

“tashi.” you like the way her name rolls off your tongue, but you’d rather die than admit it.

before you can say anything else, patrick walks over, swings an arm around your shoulders and pulls you close. “don’t forget about what i said.” his breath smells like spearmint gum, the type art is always chewing. maybe he gave him a piece. “just think on it, yeah?”

you nod, and he pats your cheek before walking out the door, leaving you feeling dazed. after a few moments of just laying on your bed, soaking in the conversation you just had, your phone dings.

we’ll see u tmrw :-) -pat (&tash)

[favefandomimagines]

Love is a Battlefield (j.m)

Request: Idk I don’t have like a request request but anything with jj maybank honestly okay or maybe the way 13 going on 30 randomly popped in my head like maybe Jenna and matty vibes @idontevenknowbsblog

Summary: JJ Maybank had been your best friend since you were 4 years old and then life started to complicate things.

AN: this is a long one lol and maybe not as close to Jenna and Matty but definitely a best friends to lovers, I got carried away lol not edited

Your mom would joke that it was fate for JJ Maybank to end up in your life. It was fate that her and JJ’s mom would be in the same lamaze class. Because of fate and that friendship, it formed the relationship you cherished the most. JJ was a constant. If there was one thing you could rely on, it was JJ always being there.

Even after his mom left, JJ was there. Moreso after Luke began the drinking and the drugs. It was often a point of contention between him and your mother. She felt she owed it to her long time friend to look after her son and Luke put JJ in danger every day.

Kindergarten started with you and JJ, and ended with you, JJ, John B and Pope. The four of you becoming an instant package deal.

The three of them were there when your dad passed away suddenly when you were 10. Though John B and Pope were supportive, JJ never left your house. Sleeping in a sleeping bag outside your bedroom door for weeks.

It was the four of you navigating your adolescence up until the age of 14. The Summer before sophomore year started with four and finished with five.

Kiara became a fast friend when her parents opened The Wreck and you needed a Summer job to keep you busy. The rest was history, Kie’s Kook year being nothing but a snide comment here and there.

JJ joked that you were the glue that held the Pogues together. If they didn’t have you they’d all fall apart. He loved you since you were 14, all throughout high school and he never said a thing. You staying in his life was more important than how you stayed in his life.

Now you were quickly approaching graduation. You hadn’t been too open about your post-grad plans and that worried him.

He was worried you were going to leave him and never come back. Was it overdramatic? Sure, but it was also realistic. You were always too good for him and maybe that’s why he never told you how he felt.

It was the night before the first day of senior year and the Pogues were sitting around the fire at the Chateau.

“What are everyone’s post-grad plans? We haven’t really talked about it.” John B spoke. “Way to kill the mood, dude.” JJ replied. “Come on, we have to talk about it. We can’t stay at the Chateau forever.” John B replied. “Well, I got into USC. Only a 6 hour drive from you guys.” Kie said.

“I’ll be going to community college on the mainland.” Pope replied. “Starting trade school next fall, open up my own garage here.” John B said. “Y/N, what about you?” Kie asked. “Oh, well, if you would’ve asked me two weeks ago I would’ve said nothing at all but, I do have some news.” You answered.

JJ furrowed his eyebrows at your words. News? What have you not told him? You tell him everything.

“I applied to UNC and I got in. Almost a full ride but I’ll work for the rest of my tuition.” You announced. The Pogues cheered and came to their feet to applaud you. You had always talked about attending UNC ever since you found out your dad had attended.

“That’s amazing, Y/N!” John B cheered. “And only 3 hours from you and J.” You commented. JJ being the only one to not congratulate you didn’t go unnoticed by you. While everyone was occupied, you nudged his foot with yours, signalling to go down to the dock.

You both got up from your spots and walked down to the water in silence. “I know what you’re thinking,” You started. “And what am I thinking?”JJ asked. “You think I’m leaving you. That I’m going to move on from you, find something better.” You continued.

JJ’s silence proved that your thoughts were right. “J, I’m not going anywhere yet. It’s only August, we have almost a year left.” You spoke. “Y/N, this is UNC. You’re going to school, get your fancy degree and move on from your entire life. Me included, you won’t want to hang out with some guy who’s doing nothing with his life.” JJ explained.

“You’re taking over the entire yacht club. That’s a big deal! You’re going to be getting a head start with your life while I’ll be in school for 8 years waiting to start mine.” You replied. “Besides, you think 3 hours is going to keep me away?” You added.

JJ shrugged, his gaze fixated on the water in front of him. “You’re my best friend, JJ. I would never leave you behind.” You added. “Do you promise?” He asked. “I promise.” You said, holding out your pinky in front of him.

“A pinky promise? Come on, Y/N, we’re 18.” JJ said. “And when have I ever broken a pinky promise?” You rebutted. JJ smirked slightly before hooking his pinky with your’s.

XX

It was October. The leaves began to change and the air was becoming brisk. Fall had descended upon the Outer Banks and Fall meant homecoming. You thought you had outgrown the excitement for homecoming but it was your last one. And you thought that maybe homecoming was the perfect time to tell JJ how you felt about him.

Somewhere between 15 and 16, the feelings of love you had for JJ had gone from platonic to the complete opposite. That was why you held off on telling JJ about UNC. Thinking that you two could live in your perfect teenage bubble for a little while longer.

You felt stupid for trying to pursue a relationship with JJ a few months before you left for college but your friendship has withstood the test of time, it could withstand 266 miles. Right? You owed it to yourself to try.

“So, are you going to ask JJ to homecoming?” Kie asked. “How did you know?” You asked your friend as the pair of you stood at her locker. “Because I know you, Y/N. You’ve had feelings for you for as long as I’ve known you. You look at him the same way you look at Paul Mescal.” She teased.

“Yeah, I think I’m going to ask him. I’m terrified he’s going to say no and then I ruined everything.” You said. “He’s not going to say no. And even if he does, you guys have been through too much to let something this small ruin your friendship.” Kie replied.

You wanted to believe her and that everything was going to be fine one way or another bit as you stood outside JJ’s house, pacing, you couldn’t help but think of the worst case scenario. Luke was MIA so you didn’t have to worry about him storming outside.

JJ walked by his front door and heard your voice mumbling outside. He looked out the window and saw you pacing on his lawn. “Y/N? What are you doing here?” JJ asked as he opened the screen door.

“J, hey, uh I just wanted to ask you something. Or tell you something.” You stammered. “You okay?” He questioned. “Yeah, yeah I’m good.” You said. “What’s up?” He asked.

“Okay, so um, would you want to go to homecoming with me? Either as friends or, uh, more than friends?” You said, avoiding his gaze at all possible. “What?” He questioned. “Do you want to go to homecoming with me? Not as friends but as a date?” You repeated.

JJ thought he was dreaming. Were you really telling him you wanted to go to homecoming as more than friends? But why now? You were leaving for Chapel Hill in the Fall, how is it fair to either of you to pursue your feelings when you’ll just be leaving?

“Y/N, you’re leaving in August. I don’t think you want to do this.” He said. Your face fell as you processed his words. “I’m sorry, what?” You asked. “You’re leaving. Even if I felt the same way, we couldn’t do long distance.” He lied.

JJ lied through his teeth. He had to because he knew you needed to go to UNC. It was your dream, it’s where you always wanted to go. He couldn’t stand in the way of that. It was going to be harder as friends, he couldn’t imagine what it’d be like as your boyfriend.

Though seeing the look on your face made him wish he could take those words back. “Uh, this was a mistake. I should go.” You said, backing away slowly from his front porch.

You were so embarrassed, how could you have misread everything that poorly. “Y/N, we-“ JJ started. “Don’t. Please don’t make me feel worse than I already do.” You interrupted, before turning around and walking home.

JJ could see not only the unshed tears in your eyes, but the hurt as well. He could’ve been honest, told you the truth. He didn’t know how you’d both do long distance once you were in college. He was scared to lose you but he did anyway by lying.

You got home and walked through the front door and saw your mom standing in the entryway. “How’d it go?” She asked. But she could tell by the look on your face that it did not go well.

All you did in response was finally break down in tears. Your mom gave you a solemn look before she walked over and wrapped you in an embrace. “Oh honey, I’m sorry.” She spoke. “I feel so stupid.” You cried. “You’re not stupid, Y/N, you just loved him.”

XX

It was now December. Homecoming came and went and you didn’t go. Two months had gone by and you hadn’t spoken to JJ. You were angry, embarrassed, confused. Why did you think JJ felt the same way? Why did you ruin your friendship like this?

JJ called you everyday, sent texts, but you didn’t want to see or hear what he had to say. You were angry with him for embarrassing you the way he did. And you were stupid enough to think he actually liked you. He was JJ Maybank for crying out loud, every girl in your grade wanted to be with JJ. What made you different?

That meant that your relationship with the Pogues was suffering. You didn’t want to make them choose sides so you made the decision for them and therefore stopped seeing them as often.

But it was now Winter Break and they were determined to figure out what exactly had gone wrong.

“So what’s going on with you and JJ? You haven’t spoke in months.” John B asked as you sat outside your house. “Nothing. What did he tell you?” You questioned.

“Nothing. Just like you. Seriously, Y/N, what happened?” John B questioned. You were quiet for a moment, fidgeting with your fingers.

“I told him how I felt. I told him that I wanted to go to homecoming with him as more than a friend and he rejected me. He doesn’t feel the same way.” You explained.

John B was silent. More so out of confusion than anything else. How could JJ say he didn’t feel the same way when he 100% did?

“Can we please not talk about it? I’m embarrassed enough as it is.” You added, standing up to walk back inside.

John B was going to figure this out one way or another.

He arrived at home and saw JJ’s bike out front. “J?” He called entering the home. “What’s up?” JJ asked, entering the living room. “What is going on with you and Y/N? And don’t lie and tell me nothing. She told me everything.” John B questioned.

JJ was quiet for a moment, knowing that he was going to have to face his mistake. “You have feelings for her, J. Why did you tell her you didn’t?” John B added.

“Because she’s leaving. She’s going to UNC, going to make all of her dreams come true and I can’t be holding her back. What happens if we got together? One, she stays here for me and then down the line resents the fact she stayed instead of following her dreams. Two, I get my heart broken because I fall even more in love with her and she leaves. It doesn’t end well for either of us either way.” JJ answered.

“JJ, you can’t live your life like that. Have you ever thought about going with her? They have jobs in Chapel Hill.” John B suggested. “And be her loser boyfriend who followed her from home?” JJ scoffed. “Now you’re just being a jerk. And being way too hard on yourself.” His friend said.

“It’s the truth, John B.” JJ replied. “No it’s not. You just won’t let yourself be happy.” John B told him.

JJ was quiet as John B walked off to his room. Maybe he had a point. He was finding excuse after excuse to not let himself be happy. But his entire life was based on waiting for the other shoe to drop.

You were the most important person to him and he couldn’t lose you like he’s lost everyone else. What was he supposed to do? The damage was done, you weren’t talking to him. There was no way he could make things right.

His body moved before his brain could catch up, and he was getting on his bike making a run for your house. John B was right. He shouldn’t be letting these things get in the way of something that would make him happy.

When he arrived, he barely turned the bike off before he was already off. He just stood there for a moment, thinking about what he was going to do next. He didn’t really leave with a plan.

JJ looked down at the flower bed and saw small pebbles and his brain kicked into over drive.

He tossed the first pebble at your window, the sound slightly echoing off the glass. After a few seconds, he tossed another one.

You were sitting on your bed reading a book when you heard taps on your window. You furrowed your eyebrows as you discarded the book and walked to the window.

The sight shocked you. JJ was standing outside tossing rocks at your window. You slid your window opened and looked out. “JJ, what are you doing here?” You asked.

“You weren’t answering my calls or texts.” He says. “I know. That was on purpose.” You sassed back. “I want to say…I lied to you,” He started.

“I lied to you the night you asked me to homecoming. I do feel the same way. I have since we were 14 and you punched Rafe Cameron in the nose for making fun of my backpack. You’re my best friend. You’re perfect and I just got scared. Scared that no matter what, we were just going to be another high school couple and never speak again once you leave. I love you, Y/N and I was stupid to make you think that I don’t.” JJ finished.

“Give me a sec.” You said before closing the window. JJ’s heart sank. Were you going to reject him? He felt like he was going to throw up from anxiety.

JJ heard the front door open and moved to stand in front of your porch. You walked out in your seashell pajamas that you bought with Sarah last year.

"Do you mean all of that?" You asked. "You're not just going to bail when it gets hard?" You added. "No, no I'm not going to bail. You're worth it, Y/N. Like you said you'll only be a few hours away. I could be in Chapel Hill by noon on a Wednesday if you said the word." JJ said.

"Then I guess I need to get a UNC Boyfriend t-shirt. If that's what you want." You said. "I'll wear that t-shirt every single day." JJ said, walking towards you kissing you deeply.

You had imagined your first kiss with JJ many times and the real thing was so much better than you had thought.