#i dont know how to feel the way others do. i would like to.

[rat6ix]

So what?

Nam-gyu x reader

Summary: you are horrible for each other but neither of you are gonna do anything about it.

Warnings: smut, toxic!nam-gyu AND reader, neither of them are good people dont be like them, degrading from both parties, switch!nam-gyu and reader, biting, doesn’t take place in squid game, talk of drugs; no description of either doing them but yall high as shit, reader and nam-gyu love each other in some kind of fucked up way…i think, reader is highkey a freak and not in a good way, choking but not the sexy kind reader is tryna kill him, but then again he finds it hot so maybe it is sexy..?, no aftercare.

Porn with no plot 😇

—

Wc: 1.1k

— 🐀

At this point you’re not sure nam-gyu remembers why you were fighting, the drugs in your system combined with the feeling of his cock shoved inside of you making both of your brains fuzzy, you could tell he was getting antsy —impatient even. You hadn’t moved since his cock had slipped inside of you, he didnt deserve it, Not until he apologized. His hands away from any part of you, you made it very clear you would have no problem kicking him out of your apartment , it wouldn’t be the first time he was on your doorstep begging for you to let him in.

You heard him whine from under you, obviously trying to keep himself from squirming. You could feel his cock twitch every time you shifted a certain way, you wanted to roll your eyes at how pathetic he was. His eyebrows were scrunched together, his eyes squeezed shut trying not to fall apart but you knew he would sooner than later.

“Don’t be like that, stop being a cunt nam-gyu look at me.” You teased.

Bringing your hand up to his jaw. You chuckled as he glared at you, his hands twitching by his sides. You know how much he wanted to flip you over and fuck your brains out but you also knew he wouldn’t cause his ego means too much to him.

“Fuck you.” Nam-gyu growled, his jaw clenched his eyes still glaring. You stared down at him blankly before you started laughing, you’d might as well have tears in your eyes at this point.

“You’d love that wouldn’t you.” you joked.

You rolled your hips, a smile still on your face as nam-gyu let out a strangled noise. You moved your upper body closer to his, your hand leaving his jaw finally. Leaning to whisper in his ear.

“Say you’re sorry and I’ll fuck you.”

He made a noise of defiance, jerking his head away from your’s. You leaned back up and frowned, reaching down and gripping his hair. He winced at the feeling, your grip tight as you pulled his face towards yours.

“Don’t do that nam-gyu, you owe me an apology for what you did.” You insisted.

When He didn’t answer your grip on his hair got tighter until he broke.

“Fuck—fine! Im sorry.” He pleaded tears gathering in his eyes from the pain.

“You don’t even know what you’re apologizing for.” You chuckled.

You knew he didn’t and you were right, the look on his face gave him away. It was the face he always made when he was about to lie himself out of trouble. You knew him far too well for far too long for that to work on you. He didn’t know but you didn’t mind reminding him, your hands moving to his chest.

“Remember when you left me high off my ass on the bathroom floor of club pentagon tonight because you had “better things to do than babysit someone who cant handle their drugs”, hm?” You tilted your head as you spoke.

You were tempted to get off his dick kick him out right now just because he didn’t remember, luckily a nice girl stayed with you until you were sober enough to walk and he’s lucky you’re somewhat sober now or else you’re sure you’d be throwing his shit out of your bedroom window; you probably still will if he pisses you off again.

“You’re still mad about that?” Nam-gyu laughed.

His laughter didnt last long as you brought your hands to his throat and fucking squeezed. His eyes widened as you smiled down at him, his fingers trying to pry your hands off of him.

“C’mon say sorry.” You chuckled, doing your best to keep your hands where they were.

“Fuck— im— sor—sorry.” He tried his best to wheeze out.

Satisfied with his shitty apology you release your grip on his neck leaving him sputtering for breath and coughing. You looked down at him with disinterest, your fingers drawing shapes into his stomach. It took him a little bit to get back to normal, his eyes still wide looking at you. He opened his mouth to talk but you cut him off before he even began.

“I could feel your dick twitching the entire time i dont wanna hear anything you fucking slut.” You rolled your eyes.

You barely had time to register him flipping the both of you over, his hands on your wrists keeping you still. His face was unreadable but you could tell he was fucking pissed. It didn’t take long for him to start fucking his cock in you at a brutal pace, his ringed fingers moving to to dig into your thighs, You were definitely going to have bruises on them in the morning.

Your fingers digging into his shoulders kept you grounded, your jaw dropped a bit has he fucked you into your mattress. He was breathing heavy above you, his head hung with hair framing his face. You could hear him curse under his breath a few times before raising his head back up and flipping his hair back to where it wouldn’t obscure his vision.

“Looking a little tired nam-gyu—“ you laughed.

You were cut off by a particularly rough thrust, jolting you backward. You could nam-gyu had enough if your bullshit but that only made you smile harder as he got angrier.

“Stupid fucking bitch, always running your mouth.” Nam-gyu retorted, gripping your jaw.

It hurt to keep smiling, his fingers digging into your face, but you didn’t care. Your mouth open now as you drool all over his hand. He looks at you disgusted before letting go to wiping the drool all over your face. You laughed as best as you could with his cock still being shoved into you at an alarming pace. Your breathing was as labored as nam-gyus at this point, you could tell he was as close to cumming as you were.

Your hands went to the hair on his neck, he probably wasnt even feeling anything but you wrapped around his cock as you tugged at it. His eyes were trained on where your bodies met, occasionally looking up at your face. His hips were stuttering now, the way you were squeezing his cock not making it any easier. For the first time that night he leaned down and caught your lips in a bruising kiss, you decided to take pity on him and return it. After the kiss was broken you took advantage of the position you were in, digging your teeth into his shoulder smiling up at him when he pushed you back with a glare.

It wasnt long after that you both came, nam-gyu pulling out to cum on your stomach. The room was still, the only sound being both of your loud breathing. He rolled off of you a minute later, taking his place on your other side. You stared up at the ceiling for a while before getting up and making your way to the bathroom.

“Where are you going?” Nam-gyu asked out of breath.

“Shower.”

—

Belongs to rat6ix

[whore4mattsturniolo]

On Camera ♡︎ Matt Sturniolo

𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: ex!matt, reader is a big fat cheater (dont do this), unprotected sex (dont do this either), degrading, being recorded

𝒅𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒅𝒔: @bernardsbendystraws <3

𝒂/𝒏: this was meant to be a blurb but i got a lil carried away...

"I know baby..." Matt coos in your ear as he rubs the head of his cock over your slick folds, slowly pushing himself into you. He tilts his head back, a breathy moan leaving his lips, "Fuckk...there you go...takin' me so good...been so long since I had you like this..."

You hadn't meant to end up at your ex's house that night. You were perfectly happy in your relationship. At least you pretended to be. You guys had been together for a few months, and you were really trying to make it work, trying to move on from the trainwreck that was your relationship with Matt. But, he was just so...boring.

He was a great guy. He was kind, intelligent, loving, attractive. He brought you flowers to work every week, always took you out on dates. He was always there for you whenever and wherever you needed him. He was the complete opposite of Matt, which, in all honesty, was what you needed. He was, in all aspects, the perfect guy.

And yet, you still weren't satisfied.

Deep down, you missed it. You missed Matt. You craved the toxicity, the arguments that led to rough and passionate sex. You missed his words, the way he'd call you the prettiest thing he'd ever seen after wiping the salty tears off your cheeks, the tears that he caused. You missed the late night drives in his car, listening to music while your hair blew everywhere from the rough windows pouring through the window, the two of you not caring about anything but each other.

No matter how desperate you were to change, to break the cycle, it was always the same. You'd break up, only being able to go no-contact for a few months before running back into each other's arms. Matt would appear at your doorstep with flowers in hand, begging for your forgiveness. Sometimes you'd do the begging, drunkenly dialing his number after a night out.

Tonight was one of those nights.

"S'all you needed huh? Just needed—shiit—needed me to fuck you?" Matt groans, squeezing your hips with a tight grip, your ass bouncing off his pelvis as his thrusts begin to get rough. "I know you did...Pussy missed me so much...Squeezin' me so tight..."

You try to reply with a witty remark, but all that escapes your mouth is a loud moan as you bury your face in the pillow.

Matt smirks, grabbing your phone off of the nightstand, fumbling to hit the record button.

"Look at me," he points the flash towards your face, gripping your hair tightly. "So pretty like this. Lookin' all dumb...All from my dick..." He points the camera down to your ass, his hands shaky as he watches you through the phone, his cock disappearing and reappearing into your tight cunt. The loud noise of skin slapping against each other was only rivaled by your even louder moans and whines.

"Tell me how much you love it," he laughs, the flash reflecting off the beads of sweat rolling down your back. "Tell me how much y'love this dick."

You look back at Matt, arching your back until he hits that perfect spot, making your eyes roll back and your toes curl. "I love it!" You cry out, the words barely audible through your broken moans. "Love it so much...making m'feel so good."

He grins wickedly, watching your mind turn to mush over his cock. "Good girl. All y'wanna do is get fucked like a lil' slut, yeah? My—little—slut." He pants in between thrusts.

You nod furiously, gripping the sheets even tigher until your knuckles turned white. "Yes!" You moan. "Need you so bad, Matty...All I want is you...All I need is you...Don't stop...Please don't stop..." You babble as Matt fucks you deeper, his balls bumping against your clit at a rapid pace.

"M'not gonna stop, baby," he says, his thrusts getting faster and more erratic as he feels himself getting closer. "M'not gonna stop...'til I fill this pretty pussy up..."

You barely register his filthy words, your senses only focused on your release, only focused on feeling of his cock pumping in and out of you.

"Y'want it? Huh?" He asks, pointing the camera towards your face buried in the pillow, barely muffling the obscene noises coming from your mouth. "Want me to breed this pussy? Make you all mine?"

A muted "mhm" escapes your lips as you nod your head, before Matt pulls your face out of the pillows by your hair.

"Say it...Wanna hear you say it f'me...Tell me what you want..."

You look up at Matt, your eyes feeling heavy as you drool down your chin, "Yes!" You shout. "I want it! Want you to breed this pussy! Make me yours. Please...please...please...I need it...More than anything..."

Your vision goes white, the coil in your tummy finally snapping as you collapse on the bed, your orgasm hitting you like a train. A drawn out, borderline pornographic, moan comes from your throat, as Matt reaches his own orgasm.

The feeling of your walls clenching around his dick draws a moan out of his throat, his cock twitching as ribbons of cum coat your walls. "Fuckkk yes baby...Take it...Take it all...Gonna make this pussy all mine..." He groans, his thrusts slowing as he fucks the white liquid into you.

As he pulls out, he watches his seed, leak out of your pussy onto the bedsheets, making sure the view is perfectly shown on camera.

"Look at that..." he sighs. "Made you such a mess...all full of me."

You nod, catching your breath, looking behind you, watching him film the encounter. He points the phone at you, and you wave innocently, blowing him a kiss, as the video ends.

Sent.

𝒂/𝒏: writing this was so fun omfg im literally drooling all over my screen

𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒔: @yourmother29 @bowsandsturniolos @sweetshuga @sturns-mermaid @leah-sturniolo @spideylana @dykes4chris @sophsturns @mattsbunnyxx @slut4christopherr @trevorsgodmother @sosasturns @emely9274 @courta13 @mattsbrowser @oldermenwh0re @chrissweetheart (reply to be added/removed <3)

[jovialsongdefendor]

"Sonamy is canon and sonic likes amy back! he is just shy!"

What. Uh. The claim that "Sonamy is canon and Sonic likes Amy back but is just shy" is a misconception because it lacks clear evidence in the games or official media that Sonic reciprocates Amy’s romantic feelings in a meaningful or consistent way.

Sonic’s interactions with Amy across the games show that he cares for her as a friend and ally, but there’s no solid indication that he sees her romantically. Sonic often dodges or avoids Amy when she expresses her romantic feelings. While this is played for comedic effect, it’s far from a sign of shyness. It suggests that Sonic may not share the same feelings or simply isn’t interested in pursuing romance. Sonic cares about Amy’s safety and well-being, but this aligns with his general heroic nature and how he treats his other friends (e.g., Tails, Knuckles, or even strangers). His protective attitude doesn’t necessarily imply romantic feelings. And that some fans doesnt understand.

The evidence that some fans showed is mostly mistranslations that sega of the wester side do it on purpose when in the japanese version, where sonic is originated created, the text is completly different. So yeah, the voice over where tails read the questions about sonic having feelings for amy in the sonic cd resume of amy being sonics love interest they are already spreading wrong information, so yeah. They are literrally spreading a lie the america sega when they dont have any power on it lol. (sonadow wiki next)

"If anyone uses this to claim that it is Sonic saying that he is calling Amy his girlfriend, that is misinformation/disinformation, they are lying and it shows that they don’t know how to read Japanese at all.

This sentence has nothing to do with Sonic calling anyone his girlfriend. And what is in the parentheses is not a part of the sentence, that is a personal interpretation of what the person thought of after mistranslating the sentence.

What the sentence says is this: “Sorry but, I find a girlfriend to be an inconvenience (burden or discomfort).” or “Unfortunately, a girlfriend is something that I don’t want to inconvenience myself with, you know.”

The sentence in Japanese: “あいにく, ガールフレンドには 不自由して いないもんでね”

If you take the sentence apart (which you can see on this website) you will see each word on it’s own to see the direct translation.

あいにく = Unfortunately or Sorry, but…

ガールフレンド = Girlfriend

不自由して = Doing Discomfort or Inconvenience

いない = (something along the lines of) Do not (when paired with 不自由して)

もん = Something/Person/Thing

でね = You know

Another thing to point out is that the sentence in Japanese does not have the word or meaning “have” in it. “Have” in Japanese would involve the character or particle “が.”

One more thing to point out is that with the incorrect translation, if Sonic was saying that, then it does not reflect in the game it is in, nor future medias where he runs away from Amy constantly (like in Sonic Battle) or considers her only a friend."

Even Ian sayed that amys love is one-sided and sonic considered her as a friend, nothing more. Everyone, including employess, are just lying to this point!

And even in the video down below sonic sayed that is nothing complicated, and she is just a important friend that can be difficult to handle sometimes.

"Oh, but sonic sounds like a boy with a crush"

NO. That doesnt mean necesarrily that he have a crush People claiming "he sounds like he has a crush" are basing their argument on subjective interpretation of Sonic’s tone of voice rather than the actual words he says. Tone can be influenced by many factors: Sonic might be playful, casual, or dismissive because he doesn’t see the topic as serious.

His tone might even reflect mild awkwardness—not because of romantic feelings, but because Amy’s affection can sometimes be overbearing or embarrassing for him. When Sonic curtly responds to questions about Amy (like saying she's "an important friend" or "nothing complicated"), some fans interpret his brevity as embarrassment or an attempt to hide his true feelings. However, this interpretation comes from the fan’s desire to see a romantic connection, not from what Sonic is actually communicating.

Without concrete actions to back up this tone, interpreting it as proof of a crush is a leap. So no, friends, not everything has to be romantic.

And even in the japanese sonic channel amy is still saying that she is a "self-proclamed" girlfriend so... yeah.

And about that some fans sayed that in sonic unleashed sonic gets sad because amy doesnt recognize him and walks away, more like sonic gets sad because with that form his friends couldnt even recognize him anymore and thinks he looks like a monster. that doesnt show that he likes her romantically. He is trying to adapt to his new form, so is understandable that he felts sad with his new form if a friend doesnt recognize him. And about sonic flirting with lady percival thing: bro, sonic is acting normal like he do with knuckles, tails and even shadow. what are you into bro.

[oceandelreysworld]

Loving injuries pt.2

So so sorry ts look so long to make pt 2, but here it is!

_______________________________________

"Okay, just be gentle..?" You look at her with puppy eyes, not realizing what you were doing.

"Of course, princess, always." All Vi could think about is pulling your face close to hers to kiss you...

The eye contact between the two of you stayed like that for a moment. Vi is still holding your hand. You could feel the heating tension before Vi shook her head, focusing on what she needed to do again.

As Vi grabs the alcohol back up, she lets go of your hand to grab a cotton ball. You both felt that warmth turn into coldness.

You were a little disappointed, bringing you back to reality on what she was about to do.

She poors a small portion of the alcohol on the cotton, slowly coming closer to your side.

"You ready, pretty girl?"

You froze up but nodded your head hesitantly.

She placed her other hand back in yours, comforting you with the familiar warmth returning.

She was almost touching your skin, with you winceing your muscles in your face-

The door slamed open.

You both flinched at the loudness.

"Vi, stop!" Ekko yelled, dropping the pillows on the ground.

"What? What!" She froze in a panic.

"You can't just put alcohol on it open and infected! You need to clean it first dumbass!" Ekko argued with his hands moving in the air.

Your eyes are just wide at surprise with the level Ekkos voice was. He was a little scary when he's loud. He must have seen your emotions written on your face. He walks over to you, glaring at Vi, then turning his attention back at you.

"Damn it, I'm sorry, y/n. I didn't mean to scare you. I know that would've hurt like a bitch if I didn't say something though. I'm sorry."

"No... it's fine. I just wasn't expecting it. Or the door slamming." Eyes looking down at your hands, fiddling with your nails.

He looks at you with those eyes. Eyes you haven't seen in a really long time.

Ekko forgot how startled you got from loud noises. It was a whole thing when you were younger. The kids' Vi's age would make fun of you even though u were only a few years apart. Ekko and Powder were always there to calm you down, while Vi would yell or hit the other kids for making fun of you. When you would hear loud noises, you would go into a panic like state.

And you seemed to forget how bad Ekko and Vi got being protective of you. Reason on why they're acting the way they are now.

"Vi.. just let me handle her. Go help the others set up dinner." He sighed, closing his eyes to try and stay calm.

"Wha- Ekko, I was only trying to help!" Vi stands up from the seat, her body language defensive.

"Vi-"

"Vi." You interrupted ekko with a stearn voice, softened it up with a light sigh.

They stop bickering and turn their attention twords you.

"I dont wanna see you guys arguing about me. Please. We just got here."

Vi looks at little disappointed while Ekko has a smirk on his face.

"Hey. Stop it. She didn't know. Just because I told her to stop doesn't mean you get to act like you weren't part of the problem."

The silence in the room was so thick that you could legitimately cut it with a blade.

Both of their heads were looking twords the ground.

Vi opened her mouth and then closed it again for a moment before speaking.

"If you need me, princess, I'll be outside.."

"Thanks Vi. Ekko, when you're done, can you let her know to come back in?"

Vi walked out, shoving the pillows with her foot, moving them out of the way so she didn't step on them. Ekko just nodded his head, then looked back up at you.

"Can you do whatever it is that you and Vi were arguing about now?"

"Yeah yeah...I'm sorry. You know how we are.. especially when it comes to you.."

"I know...let's just get this over with please."

-------------------------------------------------------

Vi walks back into the room after helping set up dinner to see you sleeping, and Ekko sitting next to your bed knocked out in a chair.

As she walks up to him, putting her hand on his shoulder. "Hey, little man, I'll watch her for a little while. Go get some actual sleep."

He mumbled under his breath after opening his eyes all they way. "Fine. Just don't bother her too much."

"Yeah I know. "

He gets up after that, looking back at you, then walks out. Slaming the door a little to where Vi flinches.

You groan, moving over closer to the wall. Vi takes this chance to slowly and quietly lay down next to you. She covers you up with the blanket.

"Hmm? Vi?" You say in a groggy tone, still with your back turned to her. You slowly move to turn over, but with the slightest movement you wince.

"Hey hey, yeah, it's me, princess. It's me. Don't move, you'll hurt yourself mo- Hey wait- y/n I said don't move."

You turn over so you're facing her, ignoring what she just said. You don't say anything, neither does she, but you both feel the tension between you too. Body's so close you can feel the warmth of hers on your skin.

"You're as stubborn as you used to be, you know that y/n?" You can hear the smile on her face when she says that laughing.

You stare at your hands between you two. She sees you fiddling with them, so she grabbed both of your hands with hers and intertwined them. You instantly turn pink. You think it's embarrassing, but Vi on the other hand, finds it so lovable. Finds you lovable.

"You don't need to be nervous or embarrassed. There's no one else here. Just you and me. Just us." You can feel her looking at you when she's talking, but you're not bold enough to look back. She releases one of the hands she was holding to cup your face and tilt your head up to look at her.

"Just us y/n." Her face slowly inches closer as her eyes move from yours to your lips. Your breaths fasten, and you can feel your heart beat through your entire body. Your breathing starts to get heavier.

"Shhh, princess, it's okay. Shh, it's alright." She moves her hand from your face to your heart and moves your hand to hers.

"Breathe with me, okay? You can feel my heartbeat, yeah? Good, baby, good. Breathe how I am. Just take a few deep breaths." She nods her head as you start to breathe, nodding with her.

You stare at her as your face softens. Your breathing starts to calm down now that you can feel her heartbeat. It's so soothing to you. So nostalgic.

"There you go baby, see? All better." She says, smiling but slowly droping it as you both stare into eachothers eyes.

This time, it's you leaning in, moving your hand to her cheek, then to the back of her neck pulling her in for a kiss.

You feel the whole world pause. Like it's just you and her in that moment. Slowly and loving. She moves her hands, one wrapping around your waist, pulling even you in closer than you had been before.

You panic a bit before she leans in, your eyes flickering back and forth between hers and then down to her lips.

When she kisses you, your eyes start to flutter shut as she rubs her thumb on your waist. The feeling of her hand on your waist makes your whole body tingle with heat.

You gasp when she pulls you to her where your chests are touching. The only thing keeping you apart is the clothing.

She slips her tongue in, causing you to whine, and the feeling of her hand moving from your waist to your lower back makes you moan, goosebumps running all over your body.

Her kiss distracted you from the pain. The way her mouth moved with yours. The way her hands explored your body, slowly moving up your back, getting under your shirt. Her hands where so warm compared to your cold back.

She pulled away from the kiss, making you whimper from the loss of her lips on yours. You move your face closer to hers, trying to kiss her again.

Vi's lips ghosted gently on yours, her thumb and your bottom lip, and her forehead on yours.

"I dont wanna go too fast, baby. If we keep moving like this, I dont know if I'll be able to hold back...I don't wanna hurt you." She said, looking down at your lips, her voice whispering as her thumb rubs your bottom lip.

You look at her with puppy eyes as she talks slowly. You respond with a slow nod.

"You know.. I've wanted you to do that since forever." You chuckle.

She looks you in the eyes and just smiles. She moves her thumb to rub the side of your cheek. You get flustered again, but don't look away this time. You bit your bottom lip, trying to hide the big smile on your face.

She chuckles and pulls your face back in for a kiss. Being as gentle with you as she can be. Slowly kissing you, moving her lips from your to your forehead.

"Baby, you got two choices. You can sleep for the rest of the day, or I can go get you some food, bring it up here, sit up her, and eat with you. Hmm? Which one sounds better?" She says, whispering against your head.

"Both" you both laugh lightly.

"Okay, we can do that."

There's a comfortable moment of silence. You close your eyes and nuzzle your head into her neck as she chuckles.

"Hey, y/n?"

You mumbled a yes into the crook of her neck, causing her to laugh at the tickle of your voice.

"I never told you but...I- i love you."

You could feel the speed of her heartbeat and her breath pacing. You lay your hand on her heart, slowly moving your thumb in circles. You kiss her neck at the same time. You can feel her body relaxing more as you do.

"You didn't need to tell me...I've always known. I love you too Vi. Always have, always will." You smile as you can feel her hand move to the back of your head gently rubbing your hair.

She can't get enough of you. Her heart fluttered when you said you loved her. She's been waiting for you to say those words.

___________________________________________a/n: i am so so sorry ts took 4ever. Also if I slept anything wrong please tell me. I'm dislexic so I might make a few slip ups. I hope you guys liked ts😭🙏🏼💗

Tag list:

@maruiin @armyswag93 @maddiethegoodwitch

Ps:There was sb else that wanted to be tagged, but I couldn't find there tag😭

[noihavenosanitythanksforasking]

thinking about how milevens tend to assume that bylers want mileven to break up just because we want byler to happen.

no love

wanting byler to be canon and wanting mileven to break up are two separate wants.

Mike and El have their own story outside of will. Even if Mike wasn't queer and Will wasnt around this story would still be their story. Will may be a character in their story but the story is still about mike and el. Mike and Els story line is the marriage of the two of their two individual character arcs.

El's story arc is based around the fact that she was abused as a child and was dehumanized to an extreme level that no child should ever experience. She does not have an identity of her own. She wasn't raised to even expect to have one in the first place. Her story is learning to be able to her own person. To just be herself and learning who that person is.

When she met mike she created an identity around him. and identity of being the super powered mage who saved the day. that was El. then she became mikes gf and suddenly she was now "mikes gf". It wasnt until she met max that someone actually tells her that she is allowed to be her own person. "theres more to life than stupid boys" "what feels right" before Max she was just existing trying to play a role of what she was supposed to be rather than figuring out who she was or who she wanted to be. What she wanted. El is not raised to have wants. El was raised to be a weapon, a lab rat, a tool that does what they are told.

When this story intersects with a story arc like Mike has you get the disaster that is Mileven.

Mikes story arc is actually very similar. Mike is a very codependent person. He wants to feel needed. he wants to feel useful. If he doesnt have a use to someone he thinks he must be a waste of space. Mike doesnt know who he is outside of other people. He has never explored what he wants for himself. He is for other people. As a codependent person myself i can relate to this a lot. It can be hard to know what YOU want for yourself, outside of people you care about. Mike puts his loved ones before himself so much to the fact that it tends to get him into trouble more often than not. The issue with being codependent is that you become almost blind to who YOU are and what YOU need. you suppress your emotions for other people and these emotions only tend to surface when you realize that holy shit. i cant do anything here. This is the situation mike is finding himself in during season 4 and continuing into season 5. there is nothing he can do anymore. it is clear that him putting el above his own feelings and giving her what she wants in his attempt to help is not working. In fact its HURTING his relationship with el. Now mike doesnt know what to do. so he's drifting. El was his trauma partner. when things get too hard and too confusing he retreats into "el mode" where his only thought is what El needs. This is not a healthy mindset AT ALL. no matter how much the media romanticizes that sort of thing. IT IS NOT HEALTHY. you cant live like that. but now El has communicated "i dont want that. stop lying and get your shit together".

so mike is stuck. and el is stuck.

because theirs is a coming of age story. however not all coming of age stories are romantic. Mike and El cannot communicate with each other. they are both selfishly selfless in the way they treat each other.

I am going to be who you want me to be because i think thats what you want and it makes me feel secure.

this is not something you want in a relationship. a relationship is based on trust and vulnerability. being able to be youre rawest and truest form of yourself for another person. and feeling seen and loved despite it.

this is not present AT ALL in mileven as a couple. they are both discovering who they are still and are not space to be doing that in a relationship where they feel the need to hide themselves from each other. you cant find yourself that way.

wow look how much nuance i pulled from mike and el without mentioning will once. wow its almost like will is not the reason their relationship is failing

[broareweabouttoviberightnow]

"Can you shut the fuck up for a second!" Pony's fists are clenched so hard the knuckles are white 'n Steve thinks suddenly it's probably a good thing the kid bites at his nails or they'd be diggin' into his palms.

"No, you little punk. What's your problem?" Steve's not really angry yet. He's still pokin' half-heartedly mostly on instinct then any real urge to piss the kid off. The problem is that Pony is decidedly way over the aggravated line 'n into pissed without any help from Steve at all.

"I just had a shitty fuckin' day ok! How about you mind your business! Actually, why don't you hang out at your own house? You're wanted there just as much as here." Somethin' flashes across Steve's face 'n he narrows his eyes. Pony's flushed, chest heavin', a look of triumph on his face.

"You take that shit back." Steve balls his hands up, forces himself to stay down on the couch instead of marchin' over 'n puttin' the kid on his fuckin' head.

"No." Pony tilts his head 'n flashes a cold smile Steve just knows he picked up from Dallas. Steve takes a long breath. Remembers that Pony has a tendency to be cruel 'n not mean any of it when he was livid like this.

He's fourteen, Steve. Do you remember fourteen? Darry had told him after one of their regular matches. And he did. The problem was that Steve hadn't said mean shit. He just knocked the offender on his ass. Pony's mouth was too smart for his own good.

"You know what? You don't get to take your shit out on me, actually. Fuck off." Steve settles back on the sofa, turns back to the TV like he can pay any attention. God, where was Darry when you needed him. He'd probably collapse from the shock of it.

See, Steve contents himself with imagin' his face, I can be the bigger man. But then it's spoiled some since Steve can clearly hear Darry's took you long enough, you're only three years older than the kid.

"The fuck? Steve c'mon." Pony finally drops his school bag, right in the middle of the floor where Darry's gonna holler at him when he trips over it later, 'n takes half a step toward Steve. Like he's wheedlin' for a fight.

"C'mon? Glory, Pony. What's your fuckin' problem?"

"I don't have a fuckin' problem! Ok! You're the one with the problem!" Pony's voice is hittin' an all-time high, shrill note of frustration. Steve tears his eyes off the TV, rollin' 'em with a sigh, but now that he's lookin' at Pony he can see the way his eyes are rimmed red 'n his lip is bleedin' from him bitin' at it.

"Pony? Chill out kid, what's goin' on?" Pony does not chill out. In fact, it only serves to get him more frustrated.

"Nothin'! Nothin' is goin' on! Ok! I just don't know why you always have to be here 'n actin' like that 'n in my house- 'n- 'n-" Suddenly hot tears are streakin' down Pony's face 'n he's scrubbin' them away with nails bit down so far they're bleedin'.

"Pony?" Oh, Jesus. Where is Darry when you need him? Steve flies to his feet 'n Pony flinches back like he suddenly doesn't want the fight he's been askin' for. "Oh, glory kid."

"Just leave me the fuck alone. I'm fine!" Steve grabs Pony's wrists 'n hesitates awkwardly. He wasn't used to havin' to comfort the kid 'n he was way out of his zone. So he just moves on instinct, pullin' the kid to his chest like he's watched Darry do a hundred times.

For a moment Pony stiffens up 'n holds his hands out like he's not sure what to do with them, a weak little sob half caught in his throat. Then Steve wraps him up maybe a little too tight 'n Pony lets himself go limp.

"Let me go, Steve!" Pony wails like he doesn't have his face buried in Steve's shirt, leanin' so hard against him Steve's gotta work to keep him on his feet.

"Fine." Steve squeezes him again 'n then unceremoniously drops him. Pony's on the floor before he knows what's happenin' 'n Steve crouches down 'n puts a hand on his shoulder to keep him there. Pony goes to scramble to his feet 'n Steve pushes him back down, gently. "You wanna tell me what's goin' on?"

Pony blinks at him, eyes wide 'n hair wild 'n Steve can abruptly see him at eight, runnin' to Steve 'cause he'd scraped his knee 'n didn't want to tell Darry 'cause he'd told him to put on jeans if he was gonna ride his bike. Steve had made him give him his dessert in exchange for silence but had snuck the first aid kit out the bathroom window 'n wrapped it up real good.

"I dunno..." Pony scrapes again at the tears fallin' down his face 'n Steve bats his hand away, pullin' his handkerchief from his pocket 'n pressin' it none too gently across Pony's cheeks. "Knock that off." Pony snatches it from Steve 'n wipes at his own face.

"Glory, someone's in a mood." Apparently, it was too soon for that.

"I am not! Look, Steve, I can handle it myself. I don't need your bullshit." Pony pushes himself up 'n Steve easily grabs his wrist 'n yanks him back down.

"Fine, you don't need my help which, by the way, I wasn't offerin'. I just think if I'm gonna get hollered at on my day off I should get to know why." Pony narrows his eyes, scowlin' hard before droppin' his sulk down to his lap.

"It's nothin'. I just- I dunno, sometimes I just, when I-ugh!" Pony throws his hands up, makes a low angry sound in the back of his throat. "I just had a bad fuckin' day 'cause like, I just, it's-"

Oh. Steve thinks. Ok. I know that.

"If you don't know... like, what it is-" Pony goes to cut him off 'n Steve whacks him on the hand 'n barrels on. "Or if you know what it is but you don't know how to like... say it. Don't worry about it. I'm not gonna make you figure it out."

Pony blinks at him again 'n Steve drops his hand off his shoulder. "Well. Alright." 'N just like that Pony wipes the remain' tears away, clambers up, 'n offers Steve a hand. Man, if the kid couldn't bounce back from anythin'. Steve tries to remember if he'd ever been like that. But he remembered fourteen 'n he'd always been more of a sulker.

"We good, kid?" Steve eyes him 'n Pony shrugs, shoots him a mischievously little grin Steve knows he got from Soda.

"Sure, as long as you get me dinner."

"Oh sure," He pulls Pony under his arm 'n messes up his hair 'n Pony whines," as long as you're payin'. After all it is your house."

[stealingpotatoes]

POTES GETS TRAUMATISED BY KOTOR!

i was gonna part 2 of this when I got to the end but i got to That Bit™ this morning and i need to tell everyone ever (im aware im probably towards the end of the game now but still plz dont spoil i assume theres more insane shit to come!!)

without further ado, sessions 7-9:

seven rhymes w revan so they better show tf up now

this game is so pretty esp when you land the ship

CARTH HAD A WIFE AND SON?????? CHRIST POOR GUY SAUL SUCKS

omg they never found the son that feels potentially relevant

'they didnt send a master bc itd draw too much attention' bastila, malak is obsessed with u rn i think that mission has been failed

wow so the council sent juhani with me just bc my vibes are so great

i might sound completely batshit insane for this but with all these redemption themes/talks i keep thinking abt 1. the fact i was so certain u played as revan 2. that revan is never given pronouns like ur supposed to pick their pronouns and 3. i have amnesia and im good at being a jedi (+ they clearly know smthn i dont). im not gonna say it bc i will look incredibly stupid if im wrong but do u pick up my theory. do u pick up what im putting down

ok that feels like the biggest reach in history PLEASE IM CLEARLY GOING CRAZY JUST SHOW ME REVANNN PLEASEEEEEEEE

i don’t even know if i have amnesia tbh but nobody’s given me a chance to prove i don’t

they could just be trying to make revan extra mysterious w the pronouns. i think im talking to carth too much, him not trusting anyone is making me not trust the game now im worried the lack of pronouns is there to hide their identity for some betrayal LMAO

oop i thought bringing zaalbar would be a good idea but apparently hes an exile. great

is stopping slavery even the jedi way cause qui-gonn sure as shit didnt do that in tpm

ZAALBAR'S DAD IS CHIEF??

i should bring Mission on this meet-zaalbar's-dad thing but shes 14 and i dont want to bring her into active combat scenarios ok

ok zaalbar's dad WAS chief. odds on him being this 'mad-claw'

A JEDI?

a grouchy hermit jedi!!!

why am i allowed to use the computer what previous user would make it usable for ME?????? SUSPICIOUS

what if im a wattpad character and revan is my older sibling or cousin

this is star wars, The Family Drama Franchise, im not ruling out that theyre my dad. my woke nonbinary dad

I LOVE THIS BUILDERS MYSTERY WHO TF WERE THEY. THEY MADE KASHYYK A FOREST!!! THEYRE SO COOL!!! I LOVE AN ANCIENT PEOPLES MYSTERY

was the builders my evil dad is this like assassins creed (everyone else has parental issues i'll feel left out if i don't have any)

big fan of how creepy the forest mandos are

im fighting little beasties and a massive beastie. this is just like jfo

well we dealt with a planet of slavers and helped with Zaalbar's daddy issues, now it's time to go to a new planet of slavers and help with Bastila's mummy issues!!!

DARTH BANDON (ill call him brandon out of disrespect) SHOWED UP AND IMMEDIATELY THREW A RANDOM GUARD INTO A TERMINAL INJURING 2 OTHERS. AND HE LOOKS LIKE AN EVIL SIMS 2 TOWNIE bet hes lowkey mid

malak you will never replace your best friend revan with this brandon fucker. and revan is going to be MY best friend soon when i find them

massive fan of how imperial tatooine looks near the same as it did in kotor 4000 years ago. this planet is the true no.1 shithole ever

btw the 8th fast n furious was called f8 of the furious

im still so scared that revan's pronoun sitch means they're gonna be someone i know like what if revan is already my best friend CAN SOMEONE JUST TELL ME I DONT HAVE AMNESIA SO I CAN RELAX AND AT LEAST RULE OUT THE CRACK THEORY OF ME BETRAYING MYSELF

whatever let's think about the fact i'm on the sand shithole. fuck this star map bastila where's your mum i want some soap opera drama

WHY DOES EVERYWHERE CHARGE ME 100 CREDITS

tatooine used to be a lush green planet??? arrakis who?

omg this guy knows carth does everyone on tatooine know my friends

HIS SON IS W THE SITH??????

'he must be a man by now' how old are you carth i thought you were like 30 at most. carth were you a child bride

when are we gonna run into someone who knows ME so i can dispute the amnesia allegations

AH! BASTILA'S BITCH-MUM JUST ASKED ME IF I TALK TO MY MOTHER LIKE THAT AND I GOT OPTIONS!! IS THIS EVIDENCE AGAINST MY AMNESIA???? AM I A REAL CHARACTER??????? GET IN!!! I HAD A MOTHER

i love how bastila n her mum havent seen each other in presumably like 20 years and yet their reunion was so immediately hostile

or more than 20 years who knows how old any of my companions are carth apparently has an adult son!!!

the only person i can trust is mission who is for sure 14 and the old men who are old man aged

thank god there was a guy who immediately told me the nonlethal option for the tuskens i thought i was gonna have to search for it

just did baby's first savescum cause i accidentally picked a dark side option and my friends were sad LOL

THE WAY HK47 SAID "shall i kill something for you? (:" LMAO IM IN LOVE W IT ALREADY

LMAOO HK IS ALMOST ALL THE WAY INTO THE DARK SIDE METER

having bastila and hk at the same time feels like having an angel and a devil on my shoulder every time they chime in on dialogue

i love them

MEATBAGS

"would you rather be caught with contraband that is very illegal or just a little illegal" "whats the difference" "about 20 years, master" HE IS MY FAVOURITE

love getting the murderdroid to do peace negotiations

hilarious that we're negotiating in our underwear

tatooine really makes you realise that this game is a walking simulator

LETS GO FIGHT A DRAGON

but respectfully. bc im a jedi

fun fact if you walk straight into the cave without using the hunter guy's mines then you will die and have to reload your save. not saying i know this from experience bc i just did exactly that and died or anything it's just a random fact i know

dragon: exploded

DARTH BRANDON??!??!?!?!

NOW TELL ME WHERE REVAN IS YOU SHITBRICKED SON OF A BITCH ok hes dead he cant tell me anything

bastila is drawn to landmines like a moth to a flame she loves getting exploded by them

BASTILA'S MUMMY ISSUES: SOLVED

i should be an intergalactic family issues counsellor. my character could've solved vaderkin and luke's whole thing in less than one film

bastila just PAID ME A COMPLIMENT INSTEAD OF NAGGING ME! CALL THE UH-- i guess star wars doesnt have the vatican just uhhh idk tell yoda when he's born

i love this game bc you get a very distinct feeling that they pulled '4000 years' out of a hat and didnt think about how the buildings or technology would be different. in 4000 years all that's changed on tatooine is how many towns there are but i guess it's the law of diminishing returns or whatever

WE’RE BEING TRACTOR-YOINKED???

why are we in our underwear. saul you pervert

what history between us

WHAT HISTORY SAUL. WHAT HISTORY

WHAT HISTORY?!!!!!!?!!????

what does he MEAN my loyalties are switching WHAT FUCKING HISTORYY

LMAOOO you can say the academy was on alderaan instead of dantooine thats such a good anh reference

THE JEDI ON DANTOOINE HAVE BEEN KILLED?!!?!!!! WHAT IM NO LONGER LMAO-ING

WHAT THE HELL CAN I HAVE A SECOND TO PROCESS EVERYTHIN

sorry carth i got you soooo electrocuted it was for the republic tho

seriously WHAT THE DANTOOINE JEDI CANT BE DEAD LIKE ??????? what????? no??? master tortimer???

LMAOOO HALF NAKED JOLEE IS GONNA KILL A SHIP

NAKED OLD MAN RAMPAGE LETS GOO!!

this is good we should get out of here but also can we ask saul and malak what the fuck he meant by history

presumably?? i was a sith before?? my amnesiacs??? like that seems certain going off saul's comments

god if the crack theory was right im gonna cry i dont even want to think abt the implications of that

at least my amnesia has been semi-confirmed. or i have an evil twin

LMAO JOLEE HAS NO ARMOUR PROFICIENCY ALL HE CAN WEAR IS HIS UNDIES. NAKED OLD MAN RAMPAGE CONTINUES!

“i have an army” “we have a naked old man”

rip naked old man times i have my equipment back

bastila thinks we can't fight malak but i literally have grenades we'll be fine

also i want to talk to him what the fuck did saul mean we had history. is MALAK my evil dad??? (i dont want 2 think abt the alternative option)

IM IN SPACE!!!!! IN A SPACE SUIT

what the hell do they put in these star wars games man, kotor is reaching jfo/js levels of "basically coke for me"

i cant think of a session nine pun i just wanna play it

CONTINUING ON FROM BEING IN SPACE LETS GO PUNCH SAUL IN SPACE

the crack theory can't be right its just a crack theory i'm not. like im just a normal woman i cant be ya know. i dont even wanna say it

SAUL PLEASE TELL ME I DONT HAVE AMNESIAAA

omg YES WE GET TO KILL SAUL!! GAME OF THE YEAR!!

HES ALIVE WHAT THE FUCK DID HE TELL YOU CARTH. WHAT THE FUCK DID THE WHOLE JEDI COUNCIL KNOW

CAN YOU GUYS TELL ME

WHY IS THE ONLY DIALOGUE OPTION LET'S MOVE ON. I DONT WANT TO MOVE ON TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK YOU GUYS ARE TALKING ABOUT

ah! malak! you bitch!

REUNION? VENGEANCE?? OH GOD NO

NO

ITS SHOWING ME THE EVIDENCE

OH IT WAS CARTH WHO SAID ABT THE MEMORY WIPING IT WASNT A LOADING SCREEN TIP

NO

WHAT

NO??????????? NO

IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A CRACK THEORY IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A CRAZY REACH I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE RIGHT

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

wow revan (my???) eyes are fucked up

AGH HE CALLED ME REVAN

OH MY GOD

I WAS ALWAYS PLAYING AS REVAN

THIS WHOLE TIME. I WAS NEVER PLAYING AS SOME RANDOM CLOWN WHO IVE GROWN TO LOVE AS A CHARACTER. I WAS ALWAYS PLAYING AS REVAN

WHY IS THERE NOT A DIALOGUE OPTION TO HAVE A PANIC ATTACK I NEED TO HAVE A PANIC ATTACK

FUCK MAN ILL HAVE ONE IN REAL LIFE AT THIS RATE THERES NO WAY

i dont feel like im abt to cry but i kind of want to cry anyway what the HELL MAN

IT GETS WORSE EVERY TIME HE CALLS ME REVAN IM IN MROE AND MORE SHOCK

LIKE IVE BEEN PHYSICALLY GASPING ON REPEAT N SAYING NO OUT LOUD. IF I WAS HOME ALONE I THINK ID BE SCREAMING

there has got to be a speneva (space geneva) convention against this this seems so illegal

i literally cannot work out if this is better or worse than death. tbh it is death like the body lives but they stole my fucking brain man what the hell BASTILA I THOUGHT WE WERE FUCKING FRIENDS

oh my god she said "to capture revan… to capture you" WHY DOES IT HURT MORE WHEN MY FRIEND BASTILA CALLS ME REVAN

STOP CALLING ME REVAN MY NAME IS LEALA MACHAI THATS THE NAME IVE HAD FOR THE LAST 16 HOURS THATS MY NAME SHUT UP SHUT UP

NO STOP CALLING ME REVAN BASTILA!!!!

malaks a fuckin pussy he keeps running away

WHAT NO BASTILA DONT SACRIFICE YOURSELF DONT DO THAT STOP BASTILA WE CAN TAKE HIM IVE BEEN BEATING HIM 1V1 HES FUCKING EASY TO FIGHT COME BACK

NO I DONT WANT TO LEAVE HER!!!!!!! THATS;. SHE LIED TO ME BUT SHES STILL MY FRIEND BASTILA NO CARTH I DONT WANT TO LEAVE HER I NEED TO TALK TO HER

jesus mary joseph and the little donkey im revan. what the hell. im revan

this whole time

JOLEE IS STILL NAKED LMAO

yes mission! yes i love you yes it just matters who i am now yes exactly

CARTH DONT CALL ME REVAN I WILL START CRYING

thank you mission and zaalbar youre real ones

THANK U CANDEROUS

jolee knew but im not pissed off he wanted me to find out on my own and it wasnt his place to say, candy-o respects my/revan’s defeating his ppl and is the first person to make revan not sound like a slur

HK WAS MY DROID THIS WHOLE TIME?? HE WAS MY ASSASSIN DROID???????? LMAO AMAZING ok i feel less bad i can be revan if it means hk was mine all along

omg yay that means i DID run into someone i knew on tatooine just like carth and bastila!

tatooine must be crazy to do as the last planet lmao like does hk immediately go WADDUP MASTER and you cant even solve bastila's mummy issues bc shes not there. good thing i already did it

LMAOO CANDEROUS BEING LIKE girl its the force anything can happen its not just convenient

am i the force's specialest girl

yay carth listened to everyone and UNDERSTOOD THAT WHATEVER SHOCK HES FEELING I AM FEELING IT MUCH MUCH WORSE GODDAMNIT

agh no what the hell i just have to go about my day now?? i just have to work now????? until i can play the rest later?? when that just happened???????? i need bereavement leave

ive closed the game but im just blankly staring at my computer screen. what the hell. what the hell man

i have never felt so violated and traumatised by a bunch of pixels

somehow it feels worse that i basically clocked it but then was immediately like nahhh thats an insane reach, anyway! like somehow that feels worse than if i'd just never thought it was a possibility

what the fuck man what the fuck

POTES SEMI-LIVEBLOGS KOTOR!

ive been writing my thoughts in the notes app but due to popular demand (one person asked for it) i'm posting my liveblogging DO NOT SAY/TAG/COMMENT SPOILERS PLEASE i read tags

warning im a yapper, im 10 hours in and theres a lot already (separated into sessions):

SESSION 1

whos this clown i thought i would be playing as revan

ive been too spoiled by dragon age origins this character creator sucks ass

only human???? ): fr?? ill just imagine her different in my brain or some shit

my life is being mansplained to me. is this bad writing or do i have amnesiacs

hes meta now??? hes talking abt the screen controls?????

omg a jedi and an evil jediii

omg their asses suckedddd they both died immediately

i <3 bringing a sword to a gun fight

WHY R THERE SO MANY SITH WHERE IS TJE RULE OF TWO

i clicked a workbench and it said lightsaber so either i get a lightsaber or i get a jedi friend whose lightsaber i can steal if im careful

I assume u play as revan in kotor2 so im gonna buy that now so i can play it when im done playing w this clown

i got light side points im getting a good grade in game morality which is something both normal to want and possible to achieve

everyone keeps saying revan is dead but thats my friend revan from tumblr hes clearly alive. or they???

my characters ass is distractingly present onscreen

huge fan of the way everyone collapsed drunk what the FUCK was in that wine

ok these sith ppl might be the bad guys but their armour is DRIPPY AS FUCK

ideologically i dont agree w the sith but they kinda went off w the fits

googling how to become a sith without being evil cause they have Drip

SESSION 2

i paid £1.19 to see revan he better show up in this game at some point

all these sith n i still cant find one revan….. stop faking ur death rn come out n talk to me babygirl this isnt like u….

why can i be light/dark side if im not a jedi. give me a laser sword

maybe this jedi gyal will know where revan is faking his death. or give me a fuckin lightsaber PLEASEEE

was just thinking 'does this game have romance' and then carth called me beautiful. i dont think im gonna romance anyone until i get this amnesia sorted

why is carth questioning me so much abt the crash im pretty sure i have amnesia

why tf did the jedi lady have me transferred to this ship are we in lesbians with each other???

carth's not wrong it is suspicious but i lowkey have amnesia so i coulda done that i coulda not

a lot of clone wars voice actors in this. was lucasfilm so broke in the 2000s that they could only afford the same 3 VAs for every project

mission is 14??????? we need to get my girl back in school

SESH 3

tale as old as time i fucking suck at racing games

ok i didnt realise you had to mash click i won

REVAN!!! REVAN!!!!!!!!!

why am i dreaming abt revan tho. real as hell but ?????

lmao cringe revan getting blown up. i thought the jedi beat rev-meister in a fight but no. accident

"such visions are often a sign of force sensitivity" COOL YAY GIVE ME A LIGHTSABER

BASTILLE LOST HER FUCKING LIGHTSABER??

CARTH IS RIGHT THATS LIKE DAY ONE JEDI SHIT. ok i still love her even tho shes a bit of a bitch and also doesnt have a saber

if we find a lightsaber im taking it first tho

whys carth getting weird abt me being weird that he doesnt trust me. i just wanna be friends mate

SESH IV: A NEW HOPE

'i mean no disrespect, but perhaps one of the male slaves could serve you better' i went in here to start a slave revolution and instead got called a lesbo

LMAO THERES A SPICE LAB???? WALTER WHITE WHERE ARE YOU

thats insaneee they blew up BILLIONS of people to get to one jedi?????? these sith arent fucking around theyre scary

UM THIS IS CRAZY GRAPHICS THE LIGHTING IS CLEARER/DARKER WHEN I COVER THE SUN W THE SHIP EDGE?? 2003 IS THE YEAR OF THE FUTURE

someone just called me padawan i kinda assumed i was in my late 20s do i just have baby vibes

all the jedi in the movies are so chill but every kotor jedi i've met so far has been a bit of a bitch

YO THEY HAVE A YODA!!! its not THE yoda but

cool so these guys are just the regional managers at best. your asses are not the council

why can everyone smell my force juju so strong

THATS STRAIGHT UP YODA'S CLONE WARS VA

why does fake yoda not blink both eyes at the same time. im calling him master tortimer he reminds me of the animal crossing mayor

bastila there was no need for such a fancy bow

malak is like evil aang

revan is so much shorter than malak omg

are me and bastila sharing dreams. are we both obsessed w revan

poor mission ):

WHAT WAS MASTER TORTIMER ABT TO SAY????????? EVER SINCE WHEN??? DID WE KNOW EACH OTHER BEFORE MY AMNESIACS????? DID BASTILA TELL U SMTHN MORE WHEN I WASNT IN THE ROOM???

im intrigued i like this whole hidden jedi shtick its very compelling. so is whatever theyre hiding from me

kinda surprising no jedi found me before tho given my force juju is so strong

IM A LEGIT JEDI NOW??? SICK!!!

does revan rlly not have pronouns i thought that was a tumblr thing but they straight up are a nonbinary icon ive never heard a single pronoun used. revan's pronouns are revan/revan's

damn revan seems so cool in these stories (charismatic war hero that convinced their troops to join them as conqueror?? julius caesar) and yet all we've seen them do onscreen is get blown up and die by accident

A YEAR AGO? the way they were talking i assumed revan died like. a week before the game started

master uh i forgot his name he has martin scorcese vibes said revan was a paragon of the jedi so what im getting is that all jedi gifted kids turn evil

even if i didnt know revan as a tumblr darling id KNOW revan has to be alive somewhere they way everyone talks abt them is too cool for a character who exploded and died. i think. i hope. I PAID £1.19 TO MEET REVAN

'only you and bastila can stop malak' seriously????? just us two?? ive been a jedi for like, 6 minutes and you guys keep calling bastila young???? do you guys not wanna help??

omg im getting carth to traumadump! <3

HE WAS ON REVAN'S ARMY>??

i totally knew the jedi code and did not have to google it whatsoever

they rlly said fuck going to illum heres a crystal from the bin

he told me id be a great sentinel and i was like i know but i want blue cause i dont wanna be matchies with bastila

OGH!!! I HAVE A LIGHTSABER!!!! THIS IS GAME OF THE YEAR!!!!

omg i made my lightsaber perfectlyyy which is rare <3 getting a good grade in jedi

maybe i was a travelling lightsaber salesman before my amnesia

seriously though WHO was i everyone's kinda stopped acting like i have amnesia since the first mission BUT IVE PLAYED DRAGON AGE THAT GIVES YOU OPPORTUNITIES TO RP UR PAST. THIS DOESNT. EITHER THIS GAME IS BAD (but i love it so its not) OR I HAVE RETROGRADE AMNESIA

also everyone keeps being like "Oh ur force juju is so strong" AND NOBODY FOUND ME TIL NOW??? suspicious. did getting a really bad concussion activate the force in me

im too confused and amnesiac'd to think abt anything except the fact i have a glowing stick now

FSESH FIVE:

big fan of using aliens to avoid having to get VAs to read every line

oh so carth's boyfriend saul betrayed him and became leader of the sith fleet so he has trust issues

well he needs to calm down. i can't betray him cause i dont know what the fuck is happening

yooo i love the design differences on the mandalorians

oh my god this lady wanted to fuck her droid cause it was her husband's. and then it killed itself. wtf. game of the year tho

wtf they jebaited this juhani person into going dark side but then i talked her out of it. that seems a bit mean of them

i hope she can join my party she looks too unique to be a random npc

ive been thinking and I might be going crazy but there was a loading screen tip ages ago that said jedis could wipe ppl's mind and all i thought at the time was 'fuck the shitshow acolyte didnt make that up'. but what if one of them wiped MY memory and i used to be a jedi or smthn ????????

cause they keep being like ur weirdly good at this??? did bastila steal my memories??????????

I KNOW I HAVE AMNESIA!! EVEN IF EVERYONE DOESN'T BRING IT UP BC THEYRE PROBABLY TRYING TO SAVE MY FEELINGS

if i dont have amnesia and im just deeping the fact the opening had my life being mansplained then im gonna look real stupid

anyway time 2 go to the fuckshit ruins cave where r-dog and malak went to

"it must be referring to revan. the dark lord and malak--" revan's pronouns are revan/thedarklord

bastila said theres no mention of the Builders in the archives. does she just know every text off by heart

THIS DROID IS 20K YEARS OLD ???

omg i can equip 2 lightsabers at once. game of the year

OK I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT THE AMNESIA BASTILA IS ASKING ME QUESTIONS ABOUT MY BACKGROUND THAT I CAN ANSWER. I REPEAT I DO NOT HAVE AMNESIA

ok i didnt get choices and i didnt really uh… say anything that i didnt already get told im still not ruling out amnesia

also booo i didnt get to find out how old i was

master tortimer rlly looks like the ultimate ketamine yoda

LMAO THERE WAS A DIALOGUE OPTION 2 CALL JUHANI A CATGIRL

omg kashyyk from jedi fallen order!!!

I CAN UPGRADE MY LIGHTSABER THIS IS JUST LIKE JFO

omg this ship is fun i wish everyone had personalised bunk spaces like hfw… a game which came out 19 years after this i should probably just take what we have

im gonna start w manaan cause im p sure thats what B-dog said n its the same language the droid was speakin

omg hyperspace from star wars

THE GUY THE BUILDING FELL ON???

am i having dreams abt revan bc bastila killed revan and im connected to her this is so roundabout

maybe i'd sleep better if my ponytail wasnt clipping into the pillow

[kiwi accent] six

carth needs a xanax every time i think we're friends he stops trusting me

also lmao he actually pointed out how wild it was that a day one padawan is being sent on this uber important mission and HES RIGHT IT IS WEIRD!! i thought it was main character logic but he's calling it out

i really really like the sense of unease that's setting in like at first i thought it was just cause im not used to 2003 games but no this is on purpose bc carth my friend carth keeps calling it out

THERE IS A CHILD ON MY SHIP ??????????????????

lmao the representative for menaan is roland wann. its like poetry it rhymes

there are no cameras in the sith hangar <3 rookie error i can commit crimes now

bastila's favourite hobby is getting shot and walking into my grenades

this isnt a combat system this is a missing system

I GOT ARRESTED???? IM JUST A GIRL

nvm i had a datapad that said the sith were evil so theyve let me go free and we're besties

why do i feel like ive just walked into an underwater horror mission

this suit waddles at the speed of a penguin on fentanyl

i tamed the beastie this is like how to train your dragon

MALAK FIRED ON REVAN?????? WERENT THEY BEST FRIENDS???????

but maybe revan escaped when bastila wasnt looking THEYRE FINE THEYRE OUT THERE SOMEWHERE. I BELIEVE

so hopefully when we run into revan they'll be like agh i changed my ways cause of the being shot thing and they'll be my bestie

great news i successfully communicated w the ship child and gave her back to dantooine. my girl has shockingly good linguisitics skills

bastila is so dour "oh watch out for the dark side" GIRL I AM. I NEED TO GET THE BEST GRADE IN GAME MORALITY

ok OFF TO KASHYYK i hope cal kestis is there… thru the force i guess… bc he wont be born for another 4000 years but its whatever

omg you'll never guess what. another vision. wow its one of the thangs. cool this is a tomorrow me problem

[mercury2venus]

“Sometimes I hold you closer just to know you’re real.”—

Just something I wrote at random. I love Louis fine self so much.

I was selfish with Louis. As he was with me. But we truly couldn’t help it. I indulged in him as if he was my favorite chocolate during the holidays. From simple glances to throes of passion his form was committed to my memory.

“ we have to leave the bed at some point darling.”

He whispered in my ear. Our essence tangled within the sheets, I cuddled to him closer “ no we don’t, we can stay here forever.”

Louis laughed deeply. His smile always touched his eyes. “ yea we can but I have business to take care of sugar, and that little one inside of you is going to be needing food soon. Now let’s get up so I can feed my girls.” He gently smiled.

How are you so sure it’s a girl ? I asked with a giggle

“Saw it in my dream. A little baby girl sat on my lap and called me papa.” He said sweetly

Well if it is a girl what we naming her ?

“Claudia, we’ll name her Claudia.” He responded

I smiled. I like that name.

There are things I have yet to know about Louis De pointe Du lac. He’s given me bits and pieces of himself and slowly I’ve been able to put together the puzzle. It’s been quite a journey.

“You gonna be gone long Lou? “. I needed to know if his business would have him out all night again.

“I’ll be home in just 2 hours Cleo. Don’t worry about me. “

“I can’t help but to worry” I mumbled

“It’s not good for the baby, I’ll be back sooner than you think.”

After making a quick meal, Louis gave me and my tummy a kiss before embedding himself into the darkness once more.

That night i heard Louis stumble in. I kept my eyes shut tight. Whatever demons he’d been fighting I pray they do not find their way to my doorstep. Louis had trouble in the past, he was honest about that, but it didn’t ease my nerves when he came waltzing in here after midnight.

“ Cleo ? You awake baby “ his thick New Orleans accent rang through the quiet room.

“Yea I am.” My voice was small, I wasn’t afraid of Louis but there was a shift in the air and that unnerved me.

“ Cleo baby girl we’re going way for a bit, i don’t have much time to explain. I’m packing our things just please get dressed.” His voice was frantic.

I didn’t ask questions. Because I knew Lou. He didn’t fear anything. Not even death itself. So whatever spooked him, was serious. I scrambled out of bed and began to throw on anything. After getting dressed we walked out of our home.

I seen 2 figures waiting for us. As I got closer I seen one blonde white man and the other of Indian descent. Their eyes travelled to Louis and I felt my legs want to give out. They looked at my Louis the way I did, and when their eyes reached me ?

Well, death seemed easier. I could just feel the earth begin to swallow me whole and—

“Cut that shit out Lestat. Don’t you dare invade her mind.” Louis spat

A smirk played on the blondes lips. “ of course “

We entered the car, as we pulled off lestat decided to make small talk

“ so any baby names” I didn’t miss the venom in his tone as if I was beneath him. Like I wasn’t worthy

“ Claudia. Right Lou ? “

I felt Louis hold me tighter. He kissed my temple and smiled.

“ yea, Claudia”

The car grew silent.

The tension began to choke me

I’d follow Louis anywhere but for the first time, in his arms was the last place I wanted to be. “ please dont say that.” louis whispered.

“Hmph. Well I am Lestat the man next to me is Armand we are old friends of your boyfriend. “

“Husband. We’re married.” I corrected him

We came to an abrupt stop.

“ Lestat keep driving. Please. “ mumbled Armand

I watched the blonde man rush out the car, to stand on the side of the road. Suddenly he doubled over and vomited.

“Dramatic.” Armand muttered.

“Is he okay” I asked with concern. Armand looked back to me then Louis then rolled his eyes

“Ask your husband.” Louis sat back with his eyes closed.

“ just sit back cleo and take a nap. You and the baby need rest.” My mind whispered.

I felt myself lean back and drift off.

OMNISCIENT POV

Armand watched Louis through the mirror.

“ don’t say anything to me” Louis spoke,

“You love her I can see that.” Armand responded curtly.

“Yea. Yea I do.” Louis ran a hand down his face.

“Be honest with her “

“I’m trying”

“She’s in a car with 3 of the undead. You’re not trying hard enough”

Please lay off this. Louis spoke into his old lover’s mind

Lestat entered the car eyes red and voice gravely.

“This was a mistake. But it is too late I suppose.” He took a pause. “Is she aware of what grows inside of her? “

“It’s a regular human child”. Louis responded wearily.

“Oh ! So that’s why we’re taking a road-trip, you’re afraid.” Lestat shook his head and focused back on the road.

Louis looked to Cleo eyes brimming with tears.

“I am. He whispered. I’ve never been more afraid.”

[finnickyy]

//SEASON 5 TMA SPOILERS

I honestly do not believe that jmart would have lasted without the apocalypse

like i think the relationship would have developed into something too toxic if it was allowed to progress

i feel like their entire relationship was built on desperation and theres no real foundation to it. It was built on their need for each other. They were the only surviving people of the original group and with the things they went through with each other. They needed that support and they needed that understanding that someone knows what theyre going through.

Sure they had Basira, Melanie, and Georgie, but they didnt know sasha and tim like they had. They knew elias when he was simply just their boss. They knew each other when things were still normal.

The Web wanted Martin for a reason, he's manipulative and knows how to get his way. You can see him do this even with Jon in season 5, whether intentional or not.

Aswell as Jon's self-centeredness, like im aware that he's literally the protagonist but taking that out of the equation, Jon has a tendency to disregard others in favor for his own. When he went see Melanie, when she literally gouged out her fucking eyes to get away from all of that. When at the end he went up to kill Elias and going against everyone.

I think both of these combined would have not led to a long lasting happy relationship. Also i just dont think they would have gotten together in the first place if all of the traumatizing shit didnt happen. I do think Martin loves Jon and vice versa but I think it's the kind of love that festers and turns into animosity overtime.

[pseudowho]

Is living domestic life what you imagined it to be as a child/teen? I never thought I'd live this long and I dont know for how long I'll live anyway, but the thought of joy being found in the mundane keeps me going. Is it worth it?

By "domestic life", am I first to assume that you mean a 'nuclear family' in the classic sense?

Based on context, I'm going to assume so.

I also don't know why you feel, strictly, that you should have died and may yet die soon. I cannot make any assumptions on your health, physical or mental, so this also means all I can give you is my own experience. I don't mean to advise one not asking for advice, anyway; all you have asked for is insight.

So I came from the sort of family where, for the most part, being 'a mother' was every woman's main identity. It was just what the women were. For most of my life, I never assumed I would be anything but a mother. It's funny, because in hindsight, none of the rest of my life and career aspirations strictly matched with being 'a mother' in the traditional sense, so I clearly had a long term delusion, there.

If I had known how distinctly in possession of myself I was, I might have known how hard it would be to give myself up, for babies.

Either way...for context: I fell very hard in love, and we grew up together (from ages 14/15) still in love, and we are now 31 and 32. I am a midwife, he is an English Professor/Lecturer and Teacher. We married aged 22/23. We have three sons, aged 7, 4 and 1.

Good things about domestic life:

Loneliness isn't a thing, here.

Lots and lots of affection, both physical and emotional.

The load of life is shared (note: I have a husband who is very, very outside of the norm, with no toxic masculinity and an approach to equality/equitability in work, childcare and housework).

When you are your own family unit, you're pressured less by family to get involved in their shit. Because you've got your own shit.

Living with the love of your life is amazing.

Having babies who are half you, and half the love of your life, is an incredibly beautiful thing.

Raising babies, although supremely difficult, is a joy.

Taking turns being at home and at work is helpful.

You learn to be much more compromising, patient and forgiving.

Bad things about domestic life:

You don't realise how much personal identity, independence or privacy you will lose, being a parent.

Exhaustion.

Parenting is hard. Really hard. Really, really hard.

Finding time for each other, as a couple, is also hard. Any time you do find, at least one of you is likely exhausted.

Good god, so much cooking.

Good god, so much laundry.

Good god, I swear I just vacuumed yesterday.

Good god, groceries are expensive.

Barely keeping your head above water with life admin and finances and childrearing and housework and work and life and ever having any time alone, is absolutely real.

Very very little downtime.

If you are someone who finds joy in the mundane, then yes, you may find a lot of joy in domesticity. So much of it really is mundane; being at home with kids, is often simultaneously boring and stressful. Very odd. Perhaps I'll miss it when they're older.

My personal favourite moment, is the happy sigh at the end of every day, when the kids are in bed, and the house is largely clean, where you fall into each other's arms, and he looks at you like you built the world for him, and just says:

"Hello. You are beautiful."

And I bury my face in his chest, and breathe in the smell of him, and the stale cologne, and the sweat, and life, and say:

"God, I missed you. More than you know."

And it's basically the same, every day.

In a kind of beautiful way.

Love,

-- Haitch xxx

[obscureother]

the f/o wheel said. . Gerik next :0

What do your f/o's hugs feel like? theyre very warm and secure. . for you. for him, part of it is still fearful of you disappearing or leaving him, but once he is married to you, they no longer hold so much of that fear. theyre only very loving and soothing. .

What are your favorite dates to have with them? tho im not normally much of a fancy dinner person, something about gerik would make them more comfortable for me. . though preferrably a little set up at home, and then afterwards we play piano together or listen to records. uvu

What are their favorite dates to have with you? he likes a similar thing, tho he likes to perform for me sometimes too. to show me things, he likes to share the arts. he'll show me works he's done or starting on, be that art or music, or talk to me of plays or operas from his era. he likes to teach the culture :0

Do you have any songs that remind you of them? Do they have any songs that make them think of you? the whole phantom soundtrack- no, obvi. for him. . classical music, tho i dont know very many specific ones. tho there is ONE (1) lindsey stirling song (not the poto melody-) that she did, i think its crystallize, that i think either sampled or accidentally used a few notes from Phantom that are unmistakable and cant be unheard once you hear them and i think of him EVERY time in those.

What's the height difference between you and your f/o? He is one of my tallest f/os :0 he is 6'3!! so if we go from 5'4" right between me and s/i 1 only a couple inches apart he is like. . 12 i- thats a whole foot. i didnt need to count that on my fingees, hold on. .

On a 1-10 scale, with 1 being the least and 10 being the most, how much do they like PDA with you? he is good. . 6/10 i think. tho he is very lovey wherever you go, he doesnt like to go out in public much for obvious reasons, nor does he want to be overbearing on you in front of people. on the inside he wants to kiss and hold and squeeze and love, but he holds back til you get back to the little sewer house he has. he sneaks lots of kisses tho. . and keeps his arm around me all the time uvu he is so happy jgdfk <33

What's your favorite feature about your f/o? he's gerard butler- /j i think his hugs tbh, he's very cuddle-able uvu look at him. he would give good hugs. his deformity is not the worst of the phantoms out there, but there is something endearing about him looking like he got microwaved right next to his very handsome other half of his face. he's kind of. . cute "ugly," but not really. <33

What do you think they smell like? c a n d l e . probably like lake water. for my own sake, he finds ways to get clean water to bathe in so he doesnt smell like SEWER. tho he might sometimes when he's depressed cos he gets too sad to take care of himself. but of all the things in the world, that man smells like freaking candles. candles and old, dusty fabric. the kind that you huff dust and you go "actually this is nice. this is not so bad. *coughs.*"

What is your f/os biggest love languages? They don't have to be one of the "five", it can be anything specific they use to show you love. his music omgg. . he writes songs for his loved ones. he writes his heart out, just like he does christine. . he draws them, he makes little versions of them, he makes them kith his little self :0 kind of creepy? yes, unless you also like him, then its kind of like "awhh thats cute. ." he will make outfits, he'll do makeup, anything so his partner feels lovely and pretty just like how he sees them, all the forms of creative expression he does for me or s/i 1 :0

Do you guys sleep in the same bed? If so, what's it like sleeping with them? oh yes. he will not sleep anywhere else. he wants to cuddle all the time and he is good at cuddling once he is let to. i love to cuddle him, he's very warm and soft. . he'll hum me to sleep, give kisses, brush through my hair, he's very tender and touchy for sleepy time.

What's your favorite headcanon about your f/o? for me, it is just that he is one of the softest phantoms i perceive of them. he is, though temperamental and passionate, very tender and sweet and just very cute as he is. there is also something neat about him as an f/o specifically, not the character or the adaptation or anything, but the f/o version that lives in the dome in my brain. . he glows gold?? i dont like gold normally, but his aesthetic is gold and dark, but he has this. . aura on him, of gold sometimes. very cool. . i dont know how he got it or what for, but he does that sometimes. he doesnt know how he's got it either.

What is the dynamic that you and your f/o have? ngl very similar to how he is with christine, but less. . convoluted?? he tries to help me keep going on my own passions and is very supportive, then when we come home, all he wants to do is love on and cuddle. odd for me to think of it as it is, he sort of. . worships his lover at the same time he is sort of that "im your angel, i take care of you" thing going on. not something im used to but he's very sweet. .

What does your f/o do for you when you're having a rough day? he sings to me, or gets me to listen to music he knows comforts me. or he will read me stories or show movies that he knows i like. . lots of caresses or petting from him. very warm hold. .

Do you like to hold hands? If so, what's that like? yeah, he likes to hold hands. he'll do it whenever i want, all i have to do is just grab his hand. uvu sometimes he'll offer it when we're walking somewhere or they arent busy with something as he does use them a lot.

Do they like to give you little kisses? If so, where is their favorite place to kiss? (Face, hands, etc) he loves to give kisses :0 he will give kisses ANYWHERE. he will give them on the hands, face, lips, and shoulder tho the most. . in a nonsexual way, he also gives chest kisses or kisses hips when he is laying or leaned below me somewhere. very tender he is. .

Vice versa, do YOU like to give them little kisses? If so, where is YOUR favorite place to give them? yes, i like to give him kisses uvu i give him kisses on his face, both sides when we're on our own so he doesnt get uncomfy when i lift off his mask from time to time. he gets forehead kisses, temple kisses, hand kisses. . sometimes i give him chest kisses to make him swoon a little. uvu

What's your favorite silly leisure activity to do with your f/o? i like to get him to do drawing or piano games with me :0 where we build off each other and do something silly. he will start off with like. . a lovely little sketch of something vague, and then. . i give it stick legs. dot eyes. and it looks like a goofy collision between comedic youtube animation and freaking glorious masterpieces. for something less silly, we do sometimes do nothing but sit and listen to music together. . it is nice too. .

What is your favorite compliment that your f/o gives you? What is your favorite nickname that they for you, if they have one? he calls me pretty french words i dont know the meaning of pdfs <33 some of them are related to heaven or angels i think, which totally go the opposite of where i normally tend towards, but. . for him. . it is an exception. . 💛 he does help me cope a tiny bit with aesthetics that make me uncomfy because he is halfway the opposite of my comfort aesthetics but he makes them not uncomfy for me. .

What's your favorite compliment to give THEM? What is your favorite nickname to call them? i tend to call him the things you would normally call the phantom of the opera, ngl. . angel or angel of music, opera ghost, things like that. like. . spooky-angel kind of things lol. i dont know how well to explain that. . there is also the whole thing of him being "potato," but thats lore for another time lol. i normally compliment him on everything tho. there is always something about him i like. i like his outfits, i like the way he looks with or w/o the mask or little wig thing, how he is built. . he is handsome in lots of ways that he does not realize, some of them not physical at all. cos lets face it, he's not built like leroux or lon chaney lol.

I want everyone to have the chance to ramble about their romantic f/os, so I'm gonna make a reblog game where yall can answer the plethora of questions I'm gonna toss down. Any of the questions you want to answer, as little or as much as you'd like!! I'll read them all. PR.O.SHIP DNI!!! AT ALL! GET OUT-

SO!! SELFSHIPPERS! RIDDLE ME THIS:

What do your f/o's hugs feel like?

What are your favorite dates to have with them?

What are their favorite dates to have with you?

Do you have any songs that remind you of them? Do they have any songs that make them think of you?

What's the height difference between you and your f/o?

On a 1-10 scale, with 1 being the least and 10 being the most, how much do they like PDA with you?

What's your favorite feature about your f/o?

What do you think they smell like?

What is your f/os biggest love languages? They don't have to be one of the "five", it can be anything specific they use to show you love.

Do you guys sleep in the same bed? If so, what's it like sleeping with them?

What's your favorite headcanon about your f/o?

What is the dynamic that you and your f/o have?

What does your f/o do for you when you're having a rough day?

Do you like to hold hands? If so, what's that like?

Do they like to give you little kisses? If so, where is their favorite place to kiss? (Face, hands, etc)

Vice versa, do YOU like to give them little kisses? If so, where is YOUR favorite place to give them?

What's your favorite silly leisure activity to do with your f/o?

What is your favorite compliment that your f/o gives you? What is your favorite nickname that they for you, if they have one?

What's your favorite compliment to give THEM? What is your favorite nickname to call them?

Okay I can't wait to see some answers!! Feel free to reblog as many times with as many f/os as you want. ANYONE CAN PARTICIPATE! SEEING THIS POST IS AN INVITATION FOR YOU!!

People I'd like to see answer this off the top of my head (but don't have to!!): @moxanji-real @one-winged-dreams @lovesickvalentines @graveluvr @clawingatmy-enclosure @starshakez @jpeg-indulgence @everynya @tropgothships @selfshipping-tboy @amelielovesamaris @pixel-comfort @fl0ralsxgar

[panlight]

also continuing off the Informed Traits discussion, just how much of Caslisle's compassion/kindness is informed? Bella and Edward both make it seem like he's this saintly figure and pillar of goodness, but then there's moments where he does things that make you wonder if the view on him is just really rose-tinted.

Again, going back on BD where he invites his friends to witness and doesn't seem to care that they're hunting humans just outside forks/la push and let's them stay even after already knowing what their presence triggers the tribe to phase, the book also reveals that he took Jacob's blood sample to study without his consent?? Like a lab experiment???? (I learned this through a post showcasing that part in the book) Also in a podcast I listen to that discusses the plot of MS, he apparently fakes being Billy's distant relative (impersonating an indigenous person uhhmmm 😬) and, well,,,, lets just say I can see why some people think that entire phone call just gave colonizer vibes. AND!!! didn't he drug a woman to steal their car and kinda doesn't react much when they caused a massive car pileup??

On the one hand i dont mind if it's meant to show us that even Carlisle's sense of morality is flawed, but between Bella's "the Cullens are good to the core" and every time Edward talks about him in MS, it's feels more to me like another unreliable narrator trope.

This one is harder for me because, see, I want the compassion to be real because I think the concept of a vampire blessed/cursed with Super Compassion is legit fascinating! As I've said about 23470234 times, my favorite aspect of vampire stories is how they become a vampire, how you cope, the choices you make, what you accept and what you deny about your new reality. The idea that for this one guy, becoming a vampire made him even more compassionate is just the kind of twist on it that I've never seen anywhere else and I think it's really interesting, actually. A dud of a superpower, sure; the innate push-pull of vampire instincts vs super compassion compels me, though.

But obviously I can see where it comes from that it could be an unreliable narrator thing or outright lie. Or at least a show vs tell problem where we're told he's compassionate but actions suggests otherwise.

I think it falls apart in two major ways:

The protagonist-centered morality. Everything in the story is about facilitating the E/B romance. Carlisle's alleged compassion can only help that, he can't hinder it. They HAVE to move back to Forks so the story can happen, he can't say "huh maybe it's NOT compassionate to move back to a place where people know what we are and are terrified of us." He can't refuse to drug the soccer mom because they have to save Bella! He can't object to having witnesses gather in Forks and force more teenage boys to phase and put humans at risk of being eaten because we have to save Renesmee! He can compassionately offer Bree surrender, but neither he nor Esme can do any more than that to try and save her, because that would complicate Bella's upcoming wedding. The Bella-centricity of it all sits like a supermassive black hole in the middle of the story, disrupting the orbits and bending the light of the other characters.

Carlisle can't be any more compassionate than his author, and that limits him. We had a fandom discussion about this a few years ago, but basically because SM doesn't see the problems with how the Quileute characters are treated in the story, none of the characters can, either. I remember calling it the moral version of how Alice is supposed to be a fashionista, but because SM doesn't really know anything about high fashion, there's a lot of 'tell' about her being this fashion icon but the actual show of clothes in the story doesn't live up to it. Or Carlisle himself -- he's supposed to be this genius doctor who has studied medicine and science for centuries, but SM isn't a doctor or a scientist, so some of the stuff she makes him say doesn't live up to the idea she planted. SM totally missed the settler-colonial stuff, the dehumanizing language, etc etc, so none of the characters, not even Compassionate Carlisle or Power-of-Heart Esme can.

tl;dr I like to think the compassion is real but hindered by the narrative insisting on prioritizing the love story AND Carlisle being unable to be more compassionate than his author. But that's because I WANT it to be real because I think the concept is really interesting, even if the execution is lacking. I don't need or want him to be Perfect or a Saint, and I'm sure existing as a VAMPIRE of all things would naturally come into conflict with compassion all the time (examples in the book is him not wanting to kill James and it leading to the extended hunt instead; offering surrender to Bree but knowing if he goes against the Volturi they could kill the whole family; telling Sam in BD that this isn't his fight and 'don't get your family slaughtered for pride,' even as Sam insists they have to be there for Jacob and Jacob has to be there for Nessie [blargh].) and that struggle and how he deals with it when he's in a situation with no Compassionate choice is available would be great. Even that car chase in Midnight Sun could maybe work if the story gave Carlisle any room to protest until Alice insists it's the Only Way!!!! or whatever, and some follow up where like oh huh weird some random charity swooped in to pay all the medical bills of everyone involved in the pile-up and bought them all new cars. If Edward, Jasper, etc can't turn off their gifts, Carlisle shouldn't be able to either, even when being forced into uncompassionate actions. But SM doesn't care. She only cares about Carlisle, let alone his compassion, inasmuch as she needed a kindly father figure to set up the vegetarian vampire thing and for Bella to have a convenient doctor.

[blkkizzat]

There is an embarrassment you cannot describe with accidentally telling someone love you cause you aren't paying attention. I just did that AT work. So while I die of humiliation.

Accidental I love you to your jjk man.

Kento Nanami does not miss a beat and says it back. It's cute and romantic and he's smiling so gently about it.

Satoru Gojo teases the fuck out of you about it. "You love me? You looove me you wanna kiiiiiss me!" It's ridiculous and childish. And your head is in your hands as you die slowly of embarrassment. He's consistently trying to get you to look at him and say it.

Geto only raises an eyebrow and smirk/ smiles at you. You're embarrassing yourself trying to explain it. But there is no explanation. You're just stuttering and making it worse.

Sukuna grunts. He's not saying it back. But like...you can say it again. He enjoys how warm your face got when you said it.

waiiit lmfaooo like how was it like a "haha omg i luv u!" cause you can totally play that off. or maybe i just tell people i love them too easily cause i tell everyone "luv ya!"

bae remember its only awkward if you make it awkward! if you dont miss a beat other people wont either, even if they do think like "omg she said she loved me" they will start to think they the weirdos and took it the wrong way jkecajdbfckjsdhfb.

but i love this for the jjk men.

Nanami says this to me im melting in a puddle on the spot.

Gojo is getting slapped,

See Geto might make me sweat a lil bit. He the only one who can match my manipulation and bullshit. We would literally just have a staredown to see who would crack first.

Sukuna I'm saying it all the time cause I feel like if you say it enough, even just teasing hes gonna start to get a lil red too.

toji is just saying something stupid like "yeah ma I know ya do" and maybe slap your ass too kjchdkjhf.

choso is going to pass out. it dont even matter if you meant it or not. he thinks you did. and get ready for the cutest most endearing reciprocation once he wakes up.

[atlabeth]

I desperately need you to give me some jealous nikolai lanstov I'm not even jokinh

my love mine all mine

lowkey continuation of bad luck and im with you; can be read standalone though!

pairing: nikolai lantsov x fem reader

summary: after your return to ravka, nikolai's resolve is tested at a ball.

a/n: i have saved this ask since september because i knew one day i would get around to it. i love nikolai lantsov and i dont write jealous fics often so here we go!! this is technically a continuation of bad luck and im with you but you can read it separately. i keep going back to these two for some reason lmao?? idk. theyre childhood friends to lovers with so much strife in between and that's so special to me lmao. but yah enjoy i MISSED WRITING FOR HIM<3

wc: 2.8k

warning(s): nikolai is a lil jealous obviously! small bit of angst, mostly fluff, lil steamy at the end.

Nikolai feels his lip curling, feels his hand tighten on his glass. 

This is a party. A ball, more specifically, but a celebration nonetheless. He should be smiling, mingling, talking up some baron or duke in the name of Ravka’s economy. He is a prince, after all—a bastard, second son of a prince that plans to take the throne at that—and he’s just returned from years at sea. It is in his best interest to do what he does best and talk as much as possible. If anything, he should be arm in arm with the Sun Summoner to boost both their positions. 

But all he can do is stare at you. 

You’re the embodiment of grace. Your practiced smile looks wholly genuine no matter how long you have to keep it up. Your laugh seems to make others smile without even realizing, ringing out clear like church bells. It’s a sound Nikolai knows he would worship to the end of his days, at least. 

You stand in the midst of noblemen and Nikolai only recognizes one—Artem Aslanov, a son of nobles that the two of you spent much of your youth with. He wonders if you remember each other as well. He certainly seems to, the way he stands just a bit too close to you, the way he’s absolutely eager for your attention. Nikolai holds back a scoff. 

The others are likely from various other Ravkan settlements, though one has to be Kaelish, with his almost offensively ginger hair. 

Not that any of it matters, though. Not one of them can tear their eyes away from you as you talk, magnetic with both your words and inherent charm, and they drink up every bit of your presence. 

Something stirs inside Nikolai at the sight. Logically, he knows he has little to worry about—he knows this is your duty as much as it is his, and you care little for any man’s affections but his. 

But Saints, his heart does not want to listen to silly things such as logic. In this moment, Nikolai is reminded of the truth at its barest—you’re a noblewoman of good breeding, quite extravagant wealth, and considerable beauty. Your years at sea have caused you to develop a quick wit and sharp tongue, and it only serves to make you more appealing.

Your flashy return to Ravka has made you perhaps the most desirable lady at court, and Nikolai is forced to realize he no longer has you all to himself anymore. 

Nikolai has planned to come back and take the Lantsov throne for years now, but he can’t help but long for those days again. Teaching you all the ins and outs of the Volkvolny, how to do every sailor’s knot he knows, showing you the misty mountains of the Wandering Isle and the rolling fields of Novyi Zem and the wonderful world outside of Ravka’s courtly constraints. 

Taking over the ships of slavers and clashing blades with drüskelle and watching a thousand sunrises and sunsets together, unbound by anything but tangled up in every part of each other. 

It was almost laughable. You were worried of Nikolai charming others upon your return, and yet here he was, unable to look away from you for even the slightest second because he was jealous of some noble son.

“Your Highness, are you alright?” 

Nikolai turns back to the conversation he is meant to be paying attention to, already offering a smile that he hopes will make up for his utter lack of focus. Of course, he doesn’t really care what this Kerch merchant thinks of him, and Nikolai’s word will probably mean little to his parents at the moment. They’re still quite angry at him for all his Sturmhondish escapades. This man, whose name he has already forgotten, doesn’t seem to know he’s wasting his time. 

“Of course I am,” he says, and he pats him on the shoulder. He means to say more, but then he catches a glance of Artem pulling you to the side, his hand lingering on your waist much too close for comfort. He’s surprised he doesn’t break his glass with how his fingers clench around it even tighter.  

“Then I would be honored for you to consider my—” 

“I apologize, Jansen.” Nikolai ignores the look on his face at both his interruption and being called the wrong name as he drops his hand. “It’s been wonderful chatting with you, but I’m afraid I must take my leave.” 

Nikolai departs before he can get another word out. He’s sure he’ll get an earful later for his ‘disrespect’ but again, he really could not care less. 

He expects to have to weave his way through the crowd, but a path parts for him wherever he moves. Benefits to being a Lantsov prince rather than another privateer on the sea, he supposes. He feels a number of eyes on him as he walks, but he’s focused on one thing and one thing only. 

Artem seems to be as well, seeing as he doesn’t even look up while he continues talking to you. Nikolai doesn’t blame him for being enraptured, but he does wonder what he thinks that boorish smile will do to you. 

Nikolai exclaims your name as he comes up next to you, sliding his arm around your waist like he’s done a thousand times before and claiming his place at your side. “I’ve been looking for you, milaya. You’ve been awfully popular tonight.”

Your gleaming gaze turns to him and Nikolai feels like he can melt. It doesn’t matter how many times you look at him—not even Alina can muster up something to rival your brightness. 

“Nikolai!” 

Again, the way you say his name makes him weak at the knees. The poshness of your Ravkan faded while you were at sea around common sailors and vagrants, and though he can tell you’re trying your best to hide it in the name of courtly etiquette, it still bleeds through. He adores your accent, how it shows the woman you’ve become rather than the girl you ran away from. 

“I’ve been looking for you,” you counter as you lean into him. You’ve applied some fanciful perfume, and it’s intoxicating. He has to stop himself from inhaling deeply—he has little shame when it comes to you, but he’s got to have some poise. “You’re the belle of the ball, Mister Prince.” 

“And you’re the apple of everyone’s eye, lapushka,” he says. “Especially mine.” 

Your heartbeat has been steadily increasing ever since he slotted himself at your side, and he can feel it speed even more with his words. It makes Nikolai smile without even fully realizing it. 

He feels Artem’s gaze on him all the while, and Nikolai chooses to ignore it until now. He looks up, making sure his eyes widen cartoonishly and his smile deepens with the same caliber. “Aslanov! I’m so sorry, I didn’t even notice you!” 

“Your Highness,” he says, polite but terse as he bows his head. “It’s good to see you—it has truly been too long.” 

“Oh, no need for titles,” Nikolai admonishes. “We’re all friends here, are we not?”

He puts particular emphasis on that word, and Artem shifts ever so slightly under Nikolai’s gaze. So he makes him nervous—good. 

“We are,” he agrees, and he looks back at you. “We were merely catching up—it has been years since I last had the good fortune to be in your presence.” Artem smiles at you once again, far more genuine than anything he’s given Nikolai. “Of course, I look forward to hearing about everything you learned at university.” 

“I’ve certainly learned a lot,” you say. Very tongue-in-cheek—you don’t even try to hide it. 

Of course. The cover story for Nikolai’s being away from court was his apprenticeships, culminating in his studies at the University of Ketterdam—it would be a shame of the highest order for your parents to admit you ran away to avoid the marriage they’d planned for you, and even more so to admit it had gotten their daughter kidnapped by slavers, so they simply said you joined him there. 

Advancing your studies for a better view, they’d spouted. We want our heir to be well-educated on all matters of the world. Nikolai knows you learned more on the seas by his side than you would have in a classroom staring at endless amounts of books. He only regrets he can’t shout how amazing you’ve been for the past few years from the rooftops. 

“Perhaps we could discuss it privately some time.” Nikolai will give it to him; his smile is a bit more charming this time. He still wants to punch it off him. “You know, my family has only refined our winemaking over the years—we’d have a wonderful time with a bottle of our finest red—”

“Unfortunately, it will have to wait,” Nikolai cuts in before you can respond. He can’t help it—he’s raring to have you to himself, and he doesn’t know how much more he can take of Artem’s flirting. “My parents are eager to speak to you, darling. We’ll see you around, Aslanov.” 

He pulls you away, once again feeling Artem’s eyes on the two of you. He purposefully pulls you closer against him—your warmth against him does wonders to quell the spike of jealousy in his chest.

“You really are impossible,” you say wryly, but you make no move to part from his side as he leads you through the crowd. 

“I’m just making sure he understands the situation,” Nikolai says innocently. 

“We were just talking,” you say. “You know, it has been years.”

“You were,” he agrees. “But our friend here was very interested in trying to be more. Couldn’t you tell?”

You laugh and you place your hand on his chest. “Nikolai Lantsov, are you jealous?”

“He was talking about his family’s vineyard.” He smiles back at you in turn. He can’t help the bit of bravado that trickles in. “For me to be jealous, I’d have to think he had a chance.”

“Saints, you are!” you exclaim. You stop, halting him in turn, and you grin at him with a twinkle in your eye. Again, he smiles subconsciously just at the sight of it. “Nikolai, I cannot believe you!” 

“How?” he asks, cocking his head boyishly. “Have you caught a glimpse of yourself tonight?”

“I’ve looked at myself in the reflection of every glass,” you say dryly. “After all the time spent in sea-faring clothes, it’s very strange to be back in gowns.”

“Then you should know how absolutely stunning you are,” he says. “Breathtaking, showstopping, the very image of perfection…” Nikolai runs his finger over the embroidery on one of your off-the-shoulder sleeves. The rest of his hand lingers on your bare skin, and he longs to remove the barrier his gloves have created. 

“And yet it still doesn’t beat how you look in a privateer’s garb,” Nikolai says. 

He places his hand over yours and brings it up from his chest. He entangles your fingers and uses the grasp to pull you even closer to him, your chests nearly touching. The warmth of your body tempts him to go even further, but he holds back. 

“Really?” you ask. “This gown cost more vlachkas than anyone deserves, took the labor of a small army to create, and weighs as much as you do, and you like me more in that dingy jacket with pants that smell like gunpowder?” 

“Oh, yes,” Nikolai nods. “They don’t just smell like gunpowder—they make your rear look very appealing.” 

You laugh louder than you should and it draws eyes in your direction. You don’t pay them any mind, gaze still locked on Nikolai, as you hit him on the chest. 

“You still have the mind of a sailor, I see,” you drawl. “But I must admit I also miss it. The simplicity, if anything.” 

“Just because I didn’t keep a king’s mantle on deck doesn’t mean I wasn’t outfitted in the same gaudy way,” Nikolai says. “A Lantsov must always be prepared, you know.” 

“Well, I used to hate that blue frock of yours, especially when we first reunited,” you muse. You extract your hand and trail your fingers down his current coat—he shivers at your touch even through the material. “Now I think I prefer it over anything else in your wardrobe.”

He frowns. “You hated my coat?” 

“I hated a lot of things at the time,” you say wryly. Your hand finds its way back to his and you intertwine them together again. “Besides, it’s grown on me.” 

Nikolai chuckles, and the two of you fall silent when you shift and rest your head on his shoulder. You’ve managed to find your way to the edge of the ballroom, and it gives you a little more privacy. You stand together, watching as everyone mingles, half bearing a fake smile and the other half lying through their teeth. He didn’t think the Ravkan court would like to think they had more in common with his lying, cheating, stealing crew than they thought.  

“So,” Nikolai says, finally breaking the silence, “is being back everything you’ve imagined?”

You huff. “Hardly. Everything is so… restrained.” 

He hums in acknowledgement. “Speaking of restrained, have your parents gotten over their fit yet?” 

Your laugh is sharper this time. “Once again, hardly. You’d think I murdered the queen the way they’re treating me.” 

Nikolai expected that, to be honest. He insisted on being by your side in the initial reunion and they didn’t dare act out of turn in front of royalty, but you said the moment you returned to your palace apartment with them, they yelled at you loud enough to be heard in Novyi Zem. 

“They should be thankful,” Nikolai scoffs. “It’s like they don’t even care what nearly happened to you because of their haste to marry you off.” 

“I don’t even like to think about it,” you murmur. He feels you shiver and he pulls you even closer to him. “But I was right—they want me to be who I was before I left. They’re even convinced that they can get me to agree to the marriage they’ve got planned.” 

His frown deepens. “Saints, must I sweep you off your feet in front of all of Ravka to get everyone to realize you’re a taken woman? I am a very good shot, but I’ve only got so many bullets—”

“Nikolai,” you interrupt with a laugh, raising your head to look him in the eye. He’s glad to see the lightness has returned. Your near fate isn’t a subject either of you like to talk about. “You don’t need to worry, and you certainly don’t need to worry about that.” You cup his cheek with your hand and he leans into your touch. “If one thing has stayed the same through all of this, it’s that you’re the only one out there for me. After all the pomp and circumstance you have to perform with Alina is over, you can tell them yourself.” 

“Good,” Nikolai says with a slight smile. “Because I don’t think I can stand to hear Aslanov talk about the grapes his family’s been growing for another second.” 

You laugh again, and you lean in to press a kiss to his lips. Nikolai beats you to it as he covers your hand with his own, using his other to draw you even closer. Practically every part of you is touching as he kisses you like a starving man, with your lips against his and your perfume invading his senses and your soft moan that’s muffled against his mouth. After a night spent away from your side and having to watch other men compete fruitlessly for your affections, he might as well be. 

When you finally pull away, lipstick a mess and pupils dilated and expression nothing less than adoration, it takes everything Nikolai has in him not to take your face in his hands and do it all over again. He wants to mess up your hair, your makeup, kiss your lips until they’re swollen and ravish, worship your body until you can think of nothing but him, say nothing but his name. 

“Nikolai,” you gasp, interrupting his sinful thoughts, “do you want to get out of here for a bit?” 

Whatever restraint he previously had dissolves with your words as he kisses you again, harder this time. You’re water when he’s dying, a lifeboat when he’s drowning, the very air he needs to breathe. Everything has come to a head after such a boring, strength-testing night, and all Nikolai wants is you. 

He brings you even closer with the arm he has around your waist, already starting to pull you along as he heads towards the doorways. He’s sure to stick to the walls, not wanting to draw more attention than necessary when even the flushed warmth of your heated skin through his jacket is enough to drive him crazy. 

Nikolai doesn’t know how he ever spent seven years away from you. He could barely handle half a ball. 

“More than anything,” he breathes. 

[hyohaehyuk]

I think a lot of people are not understanding one thing about this show: Louis have an eating disorder caused by his rejections of being a vampire and a queer man. Eating animals and rejecting eating humans is not a normal diet for vampires and is not the same as veganism/vegetarianism like i have seen some keep saying. In the AR' vampire universe is not just the blood but also the hunt and the memories they get from the victims that get them healthy. Even the way Louis eats in present days is weird af (even tho is consumes more human blood provided by his unethically farm) bc he is forcing himself to eat human food too (the whole thing is weird af. watch it again now with the image of him having a eating disorder in mind and you will see what i am saying)

Everything Lestat was doing (especially between ep 2/3) was trying to make Louis eat properly but all his desperate attempts was just pushing Louis away. The reason he brought Antoinette to their house was to recreate their 1st time with Miss Lily (bc if it worked 1 time surely it work another🤦). I think he was hoping that Louis would feed out of Antoinette and maybe even kill her. Same reason (besides the pride and bad communication) of why he opened their relationship. He was hoping that while he was hooking-up with someone he would feed from it but instead Louis chose someone who it had story (maybe to piss Lestat. I think this will be revised in season 3 bc i remember seeing on twitter that Lestat was next to Antoinette but once he he sees Louis talking with Jonah he is in another place far from her). He was already mad that Louis eating disorder was taking a tool on their relationship (which is why he start cheating 💀) but suddenly Louis was in the mood for some sex with someone else and on top of it Lestat also had to watch him hurting dogs (which maybe we will see in season 3 that human lestat loves dogs) instead of feeding on his hook-up human being.

The saddest thing is that there is nothing Lestat could have done to help (if you watched the last season of heartstopper Nick was dealing with a similar situation with Charlie and everyone's attempting to help him was actually making it worse). Things would only start getting better if the person admit to themselves and others they have a problem and seek for professional help which unfortunately for Louis was a thing that didn't exist at the time. Thankfully Louis at the end of season 2 finally accepted himself so on season 3 we will see a completely new Louis and i don't think Lestat will be ready for that Louis 🤭. Tho I hope Louis is not automatically cured in season 3. I think he will still mess it up occasionally until he gets cured for real.

Anyway, i hope they revise this (and a few other things) in season 3 bc it seems that a lot of people still dont get it. There is a chance of them doing that bc depressed Lestat was also feeding out of rats just like Louis was and maybe they could touch on this when doing connections with Nicky depression. i think we will see a lot of connections related how Lestat dealt with Louis and Claudia bc of his relationship with Nicky and his family, particularly his mother. Since Daniel works like the public voice maybe he will be the one doing those connections especially now that Daniel is a vampire and knows more about how it works.

i do think loustat in the show are monogamous, however given the nature of the vampirism they still have to seduce their victims to feed so i can see them hooking up with the victims before killing them but that dont make them non-monogamous in my eyes bc that would involve them actually having feelings for others.

And no, i dont think Louis was in love with Armand (he was attracted at most. i will not go much in depth into their relationship bc i don't want loum*nd shippers annoying the shit out of me. the only thing i am gonna say is that their relationship was all about Lestat: it started bc of him, continued after Paris bc of him and ended bc of him) and Lestat with Antoinette (she was more like his therapist so he could vent about Louis and Claudia. if he had love her he would have told her she could had attached any human' finger to hers after he made her cut her finger. He only keep her 1st bc she was giving him the devotion Louis was refusing to, 2nd bc it still made Louis' jealous which casually he would show it and then bc he needed her to spy on Louis and Claudia. if you guys noticed Louis was quite undecided in going forward Claudia plan of killing Lestat, until he brought Antoinette. It was then (especially when petty Lestat call her "love") when he made up his mind. That was Lestat worst mistake that night bc he knew about their plan and was trying to make Louis not going through it but then does that 🤦)

louis and lestat wouldn’t even hesitate to walk out into the sun if the other ceased to exist and people think they would ever consider polyamory. it’s just not realistic. they invented monogamy and the soul being irrevocably tied to one other soul for eternity and beyond

[velvetvexations]

im on this teeny tiny little app thats exclusively for trans people (literally just "t4t" and i really do like it. after ive blocked all the idiots lol. very old internet feeling) and i made this post that got a lot more attention than my posts normally did. which means i got more people looking at my profile than i normally do. this is relevant bc it doesnt function like tumblr it functions like lex, so theres an endless feed filtered by distance and theres no following feature. so like, lot easier for me to see random strangers vagueposts about me.

several months ago i had made a post about voting as harm reduction -- and it's ok to me if people disagree with that general statement! i can understand if youd rather "harm reduction" remain used solely for drug use! i can understand that! that doesnt mean im stupid and dont know what the term means if i apply it in other ways!

and this random stranger that had never interacted w me ever before this had dug so deep into my profile they found this post to vague about it MONTHS LATER on the DAY OF TRUMPS INAUGURATION to say "everyone who voted for kamala should be embarrassed of themselves" like sorry first of all little late for that shit buddy how are you voteshaming on inauguration day. second of all... is that somehow MORE embarrassing than vaguing about a post made months ago? somehow more embarrassing than doing this on the day a trump takes office, already doing immense damage, reversing what good bidens administration has managed to do?

like im not harris' friend. i dont *like* her. and as president she would have always been inherently my enemy. but it is so hard for me to understand these peoples positions. like yea the american government is a cesspool and a mockery of democratism. yeah a fascist goverment is fascist no matter who sits at the head. all of this is true. but how. how on EARTH. can you not see our fight would have been easier with harris? how can you ignore that?

Remember, she would have been 99% Hitler. Basically no difference at all.