#and i wanna have a discussion since no one irl listens to this

[finnickyy]

//SEASON 5 TMA SPOILERS

I honestly do not believe that jmart would have lasted without the apocalypse

like i think the relationship would have developed into something too toxic if it was allowed to progress

i feel like their entire relationship was built on desperation and theres no real foundation to it. It was built on their need for each other. They were the only surviving people of the original group and with the things they went through with each other. They needed that support and they needed that understanding that someone knows what theyre going through.

Sure they had Basira, Melanie, and Georgie, but they didnt know sasha and tim like they had. They knew elias when he was simply just their boss. They knew each other when things were still normal.

The Web wanted Martin for a reason, he's manipulative and knows how to get his way. You can see him do this even with Jon in season 5, whether intentional or not.

Aswell as Jon's self-centeredness, like im aware that he's literally the protagonist but taking that out of the equation, Jon has a tendency to disregard others in favor for his own. When he went see Melanie, when she literally gouged out her fucking eyes to get away from all of that. When at the end he went up to kill Elias and going against everyone.

I think both of these combined would have not led to a long lasting happy relationship. Also i just dont think they would have gotten together in the first place if all of the traumatizing shit didnt happen. I do think Martin loves Jon and vice versa but I think it's the kind of love that festers and turns into animosity overtime.

[double--blind]

(SPOILERS) breaking down how obsessed Andrew is w/his sister bc he's a repressed lil liar and I'm going insane

This post got longer than I intended it to

1. He claims they don't spend enough time apart from each other to even begin missing her so he doesn't even know if he would, but just earlier in the game he was apart from her for probs like 30 mins tops to investigates some cultists and guess what???? He was already missing her 😒

2. Says "I thought you grew out of this touchy-feely crap" when Ashley asks for a hug, but earlier when he was cooking dinner, he was the one with the inexplicable urge to "pull this broody bitch into [his] arms and force her to stay until she smiles" 😒

3. Piggy-backing off the last screenshot: WHAT OTHER THOUGHTS, ANDREW??? yOU WERE JUST THINKING ABT HUGGING HER. WHAT DO YOU EVEN MEAN. THESE ARE SIMPLY INNOCENT BROTHERLY THOUGHTS ARE THEY NOT????? 🤨🤨🤨

4. Bro just can't keep his hands off her. And everyone thinks Ashley's the clingy one jeez (lol the way he springs apart from her when Mom catches them is definitely definitelyyyy not worth analyzing. nope. not even when it happens a second time on the couch. nope. nooope)

5. What. What is he thinking here. Don't think I don't see those grey lil blush lines. Is this connected to my third point somehow bc like... 🤨😬 Is "Andrew" is gonna start doing and being what "Andy" was too spineless and afraid of doing?? That's what the vow was partly abt right?? Does that include—

5. WHEWWW BOY that little flashback with his gf has so much baggage in it I just wanna dissect. His girlfriend's tryna have a serious discussion with him abt his weird sister for the sake of bettering their relationship bc she genuinely loves him, but he just gets caught up in fondly talking abt said weird sister instead??

6. He's awfully hesitant abt Ashley learning some independence, bc y'know what?? I think he doesn't really want her to stop relying on him. But what do I know y'know

6. Wants his gf to put tie her hair up in a ponytail, then when she refuses bc he'll pull on it, says it's just "how boys express their love". Well. You know who else puts there hair up in a ponytail??? You know who else's hair he's always pulling on and touching???

7. The voicemails in his gf's phone left by Ashley are heard by him in his dreams, and his dreams are a construction of his mind utilizing his memories, personal hangups, and knowledge of Ashley. The voicemails irl were left on his gf's phone, and for all we know, he never actually listened to them in person. Bearing this in mind... odds are the things Ashley's saying contain bits of truths he believes within himself, filtered thru her crude, hateful dialogue.

Here. I transcribed one of them...

"DO YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME!? Just because you can fuck him and I can't? You think that's love?! Are you fucking delusional?? Cumdumpsters like you are just that. He will never love you. Not like he loves me. I am the only one. I am everything. I am the secrets you'll never hear. When he lies in bed at night, and when he needs someone to hold on to… It's not you he seeks out. It is me."

8. Claims Ashley's the one with the jealous streak, not him, but I think he's just as bad. The only difference is that Ashley's never given him reason to act on it since all she's ever wanted was him, but at the slightest mention of her gettin it on w/someone else, even as a joke, he gets mad. "OVER MY DEAD BODY!!" he says, when she's jokingly contemplating getting knocked up via the neighbor so an ambulance would come for her. "I wouldn't let them," he says, when she's complaining abt not being pretty enough for the wardens to bang her

9. Going hand-in-hand with that fact, he's intensely protective of her. Didn't hesitate to cleaver the warden who found her in the closet (probs didn't even BLINK lmaooo he chose VIOLENCE), and when the cake-stealing cultist insulted her just once, he stepped forward just like that

10. In their apt, when they were lying on the floor talking abt jumping off the balcony, he was really caught up in the "romantic" fantasy of them committing a double suicide and dying with their bodies entwined so irreparably by the impact they form one unified corpse "never to be separated!" and they get buried in the same coffin together. UM??? Bro fr thought he was the sane one of the two. That wasn't even true before the cannibalism and demon summoning 😭😭😭

BONUS:

11. This might just be me, but his reaction to seeing the post-sex vision doesn't strike me as someone who's inherently opposed to the idea. Instead of disgusted, he was... flustered?? He acted like she walked in mid-guilty pleasure wet dream. This wasn't a "GROSS THATS INCEST" reaction which is... the most normal reaction to have. That's the face of a man that got CAUGHT bro.

He asks "we're not like that, are we?" and "why are you like this?" and questions the veracity of the vision, but he never actually explicitly denies wanting the vision to happen, more focused on Ashley and her reaction. He buries the elephant under the rug as fast as he can, bc yeah, it struck a landmine, but it probably wasn't a landmine for the reason Ashley thinks it is. I bet the vision just hit a little too close... :P

[zeherili-ankhein]

Ok guy I was feeling really bad that I didn't write out something to you guys in that moots giving chain so here's my separate moot appreciation post

Firstly

@foreignink yeah I don't know when you will come online again OR if you'll come online again but honestly speaking, you are one of my most beloved person both online and irl. You were the first one ever who listened to my endless ramblings and stupid stories I made up no matter how questionable or out of pocket they were. I loved sitting next to you and chatting away the entire break. I miss you I miss you since the day we last saw eachother after crying like idiots infront of the school. You will always be my baby mwah I love you <3 ✨💚🧡 everything orange always reminds me of you.

@randomx123 you are so cool :D You were one of the first even people I actually talked to on Tumblr and the one of the first ever Bangali too. I loved listening to your story that's really really a great story. You are like that one cousin dada I never had. I like all the random (pun included) conversations we have and basically everything else. You are one of the few people whom I send random (pun) asks with basically anything and everything. Then I loved your moodboards during Pujo and you swearing always makes me roll with laughter XD You are in my favourite person catagory

@krishna-priyatama you are literally my favourite person I met on Tumblr. Thank god to the day we started chatting, you are a literal blessing to my life if I'm being honest. The only person who ever understood my crazyness and the intensity of my love for Chhota Bheem and other cartoons and matched my weirdass freak. Chatting with you is the highlight of my day which no matter how bad the day goes it always brings a smile to my face. I have no proper words to say tbh just love ya tons tons 🫂💖

@igotadigbickandureadthatwrong yeah I remember finding your main blog on a random day in boshonto (yes pun) and that introduced me to the Vasant cult and every other funny mytho shits. We hadn't interacted at all before untill I dropped those Cult rituals into your ask box, and from then on I literally had a blast sending and receiving asks filled with theories headcanons memes metas and basically everything else. I still wait for when you'll drop your next crazy ask and it will make me take a round around my house. And then cursedblr made it more unhinged lmao :3 ✨💚 if I am being honest I wanna violently throw paint balls at you

@jeahreading NOW you, I remember our first fight over baked roshogolla and you being my roshogolla anon for some hours. I was so fun... One of the best things ever because I got to discuss sweets with someone online so frankly for the first time. You are one of my favourite person on Tumblr literally and maybe one of the very few whom I have given a nickname. I loved loved loved sharing and received pujo details with you and the love for food we share is so dear to me. I hope we can meet irl one day 🥲 I wanna squish you in a hug so bad you have no idea. We'd me unstoppable. Love you a tons 💚✨💖 the Batasha to my Chini <3

@mi-stress-of-chaos mummyyyyy I don't remember when we started interacting or when we became such crazy buddies but it was definitely related to the cursedblr which is a blessing curse in my life. Then you became chaos mummy one of my favourite internet parents. I loved every single of our cursed and normal interactions and all the other shits we did and your blog is one of the best blogs on Tumblr. You are too cool and chaotic to even be friends with a lame loner like me but I am thankful we are because you are lovely 💜💖✨

@shinchansbitch if I remember correctly ig our first interaction was when you rebligged one of my shinchan incorrect quotes... Honestly speaking I didn't knew what to say at firat and it took a lot of time for us to become proper interacting moots but I'm glad we did because you are one of the coolest moat amazing person I met here and ilysm for that. You are one of the best ever internet parent I ever had. Your shitposting is one of the best things ever, I love love love reblogging from you they are the best. 🩷💝✨

@tum-naam-sochlo-merese-ni-hora favourite person ever to overexaggerated and complicate things with. Best didi ever. The coolest person to ever walk on this planet, you are one of the funniest people on this entire universe. We also started interacting because of Vasant and it was the best thing ever. I love your art you are one of the best artist I ever know. You inspired me so much to make my own art and you were one of the first people who encouraged me to post my paper flowers. If I could I would make a tons of paper flowers, you are too good to me. Ilysm you are amazing. 💜💚💖✨

@schrodinger-ka-billa you are the best ever otter god ever and one of the best oersons with whom I interacted. And the only one whom I gave the tag of didi openly (but I'm your didi too lol) I love chatting with you here you the too funny and sweet. Even if our views on the marauders are somewhat different I love that I have found another marauders fan, that's one of the best thing ever in mankind's history. Also I loved hiw caring you are and your asks with buggies were one if the best things ever that happened to me. Ily a tins you are one of my favourite 💚🦦✨

@wulfricnavy we also started interacting during the daddymon thing I think, but anyways you are one of my favourites. I love your fanfic and I'm always waiting for when you will drop your next chapter (do it quick man). You are the best ever dadaji on the internet, a literal legend. I don't know what to say except I like the way you are interested in so many series and you are really really cool :D you are like a neighborhood bhaiya who got backpain ✨💚

@no-idea-where-i-am-lost you are a cutie :D the bestest thakuma everrrrr. Honestly I'm so glad Wulfric introduced you to us you are so sweet and one of the best people here. And one of the Bangalis with whom I enjoyed sharing Pujo moments. You should interact more it would be nice to talk and do more shenanigans together. Also cursedblr awaits you (even tho you've joined) and I really really really really like you so much you are a pookie person 🧡✨💖

@desigurlie you are so so so cool I can't even explain :D you're blog is one of my most favourite blogs, I love your metas and fic and moodboards and the way you do dhobi pachhad to shit anons and other people. You are one of the raddest most amazing didi person I even know. Our first interaction was also because of Vasant if I remember and then it was because of Mahabharat. You are one of my favourite persons online and if I could I'd give you a big fluffy hug and those paper tulips I made for you ilysm 🫂✨💖💚

@intellectual6666 cool cool person I love your fics and your vibe and in general you are kne of the coolest persons here. I don't remember how exactly we became moots and started interacting but your blog is one of the best things on this app and you yourself are one of the sweetest here. You are also like that parar bondhu jar sathe khub bhalo vibe kora jaye. I honestly want to share narkel er naru with you as we both sit quietly and enjoy the peace or gossip who knows. You are a big cutie and I would make you flower crowns if I knew you irl 💐✨💖

@hellincarnation FINALLY the bestest war criminal ever you are so cool and honestly one of the best fucking people I recently talked to. You don't even know how much your shenanigans makes me laugh or how much I enjoy talking to you. We should seriously take over the planet and then have a party. You match my crazy so much its iconic. We really are a duo for chaos. I would do cool and cringe poses with you in public if I knew you irl lol ✨💖🩵 and never hesitate to ask me any question related to thing you wanna know. And ofcourse you are one of the very few who got a nickname. Aro the car guy Satan.

@im-on-crack-send-help YOU ARE SUCH A CUTIE and you're so sweet and caring and nice and cute and basically everything nice and shiny reminds me of you. Ilysm you are one of my favourites and its sad we don't gwt to interact much we should do that honestly but anyways I'd make you all the flower bouquets with paper flowers If I can and I want to sit and eat cookies with you as we watch movies and cry ✨🧡♥️💖

@sumiyxx another cutie! You are one of the best people here and one of the pooliest too. Even if we interact less you are one of my favourite peoples here and I hope we can vibe more and do crazy. Lysm you silly darling you deserve the world and beyond and I'd give you as much as I can once I take over this planet ✨💖💚♥️

@lyrebirb you are one of my favourites easily. Your shitposting era was my favourite and you are so amazing and cool and awesome. You are my favourite birby (I say as a bird hater) and ilysm and I'm so hlad you are back. I loved the time we had a discourse over mermaid meat and eggs it was so funny and K enjoyed it so much you are so cool ✨💐💖🫂

@stxrrynxghts you are such a amazing person and I love love love taking to you :D your fics are amazing and I'm always looking forward to read them (but don't overwork yourself please) you are one of the few people with whom I shared soucha nd you are so amazing and cool and admiration amd everything all together I don't even deserve to be your friend. You are one of my favourite people here and talking to you is so great I love it 🫂💖💙

There are so many more people I'm forgetting to tag but I live y'all so much you precious pookies you all are like those fruits and nuts in my chocolate.

[xstrawberryshiftsx]

How I met my better cr s/o PT1

based off a dream and a playlist!

part two!

Dove: that’s me! (I’m obvs not using my real name, plus my irl one is pretty weird so it suits lol)

Caster: my s/o

James: casters bestfriend

Bell: Casters twin sister

Jade, Min-Jun, Cindy, Clay: my best friends/friend group

I found this playlist on Spotify and my mind has never been more pleased

also no judgement this is super Mary sue and cringey but let me live

‘who’s that chick?’

James asked as he crushed his Up&Go in his hand before trying to throw it-and miss-into the trash bin

‘I don’t fucking know’

Caster replied not looking up from his phone, it was like 8:30 and he didn’t have the energy for James gossip.

‘nah-mate seriously’ he jabbed Caster in the shoulder impatiently, he didn’t answer but put his phone down and looked in the direction that James was pointing to.

it was a girl-she was a golden blonde and light eyed, freckles littered her cheeks and she looked around 5’3-5’5. She was laughing loudly, holding one of her friends hands and Caster noticed that when she smiled two dimples showed and that she had slightly pointer then average canines.

‘Wow a girl-crazy’ he rolled his eyes sarcastically.

James rambled on for a moment about blondes and how the school never got new people-which was definitely not true, they lived in Sydney there was always gonna be new people.

The girl was surrounded by one of the main groups in the school year, this wasn’t an American movie and there wasn’t really a ‘popular’ group but they where some of the friendliest and well known people in the year, Clay, Min-jun, Cindy and Jade circled around her in a weird bubble, Cindy pointed around the school yard showing her random sections and Min-Jun not so subtly gestured to random people and telling her about them.

‘anyway-that’s why I think brunettes are wife material and blondes are friend material’

Sighing Caster turned away from the girl and back to his friend

‘wow that’s crazy interesting dude-really deep’

not understanding the sarcasm James grinned and nodded looking pleased with himself

‘still tho what a babe’

TIMESKIP

Dove watched as her friends chatted on the train ride home, she’d known these guys since kindy but it was weird to finally been in the same actual school.

‘hey you all good?’ Clay asked suddenly noticing her quietness

the others looked up to her direction

‘hmm? Yeah I’m good thanks! Just been a long day’ she replied softly

‘I’ve got headphones if you wanna listen to some music and have some down time?’ Cindy said smiling as she rested a head on Doves shoulder.

‘Nah it’s okay-mine and Jades stop is soon-thanks tho’

Nodding Cindy got off her shoulder and turned to discuss some politics thing with Min-Jun. Eventually the train stopped and Jade and her both got off waving goodbye to their friends as they did.

…

‘so…-what’d you think about the school?’

‘oh! Uh-it’s nice-loud and full on but nice I guess’

Jade took Doves hand as they walked through their street the streets lights shining down on them.

Jade had moved in with Dove a few months back after her family decided to move back to England-jade had had a right fit about it and ended up staying behind to her delight.

‘As long as your happy’ Jade smiled, the street lights shone on her dark thick curls making them shine in golden light, everything about Jade was beautiful-from her golden brown doe eyes to her smile…a perfect picture.

‘I’m always happy’ Dove replied squeezing Jades hand

‘yeah-I know’

‘Oi-Cass!’

Bell barged into Casters room holding a twenty dollar note in her hand.

He looked up from his desk his night glasses resting on his nose

‘what?!’ He groaned shutting his laptop and looking over at his twin.

Bell and Cass were eerily similar-only in appearance of course- they both had 1C dark hair and almost black eyes, they were pale and tall, the only difference was Bell was a decent person to be around.

‘I’m on my period…I-uh would personally be super appreciate if you decided to go to the corner store and buy me some snacks’ Bell crossed her arms and handed him the twenty dollars.

Sighing Cass got up from his chair.

‘yeah okay-what do you want?’

Dove stared at their bedroom ceiling tracing the patterns with her eyes as she did. They turned over in her bed and twisted around trying to get comfortable. her uncle had recommended her to go to bed earlier but she couldn’t find it in herself to fall asleep.

she pulled on a jacket over her pjs and hopped out of bed walking out of her bedroom and through the halls and into the kitchen to where her uncle was having a beer

‘hey I’m going to the general store is that okay?’ She asked grabbing her wallet on the counter.

he looked up and smiled

‘sure pickle, just stay in the open streets and don’t be out for long-oh and keep your phone turned on’

Dove smiled and nodded before walking out the door

…

the door jingled as Cass walked through the store, going straight to the Asian snack section.

he looked down at the list Bell gave him

A cup of ramen (spicy beef flavour)

Two cans of melon soda

oreo and strawberry pocky sticks

Bin Bin rice crackers

white rabbit candy

‘Uh-um’

Cass looked up realising he was blocking the aisle

‘oh sorry-‘ it was the girl-the new girl from school, he stared at her not expecting to meet her especially not here, he decided to be polite for once and start a conversation.

‘your the new girl right-uh Daisy?’ He didn’t mean it but his voice came out uninterested and mean

‘Dove-my names Dove…not daisy’ she said awkwardly not really in the mood for a chat

‘huh-that’s a weird fucking name’ again he didn’t mean to sound so off putting but he always somehow ended up with that tone

‘Excuse me? No need to be a cunt’

she tilted her head at him confused at his staring and comments, she narrowed her eyes before walking past him.

the boy was cute-and tall but she was put off by his weird gaze, plus what a dick. He watched as she walked past him straight towards the pocky section-he watched in horror as she grabbed both the last strawberry and the last Oreo pocky box.

Against his better judgement he spoke

‘wait-uh do you really have to get those…ones?’ she turned around looking at him an eyebrow raised

‘Huh?’ She didn’t say it meanly but it was clear she was on edge

‘the pocky-those are the last two’

‘Well your obviously blind since there’s like a bunch here’ she gestured to the wall behind them

‘yeah but I need those two’ he said feeling impatient-he was cold and he could already feel Bells comment if he came back late AND without her favourite pocky flavours.

‘No one needs anything’ Dove scowled crossing her arms and glaring up at him

He laughed clearly frustrated

‘yeah well your wrong cause I need those’

Scoffing Dove walked past him and straight to the checkout

‘hey-wait please’ he groaned-shit, his mum was right his attitude was beginning to be a problem.

Dove walked out the door pleased with themselves leaving Caster alone in the shop defeated

@starrihideshere @livingsecret @ottaorca @gaiaexploreslife @catschasingstars @lovebvni @morganshifts @chloesreality @zipperrants

PT2?

this is super cringey and I absolutely hate myself for writing this 💀

[chrimsonfoxdon]

Ooh question, you mentioned rewatching as an adult, and I'm curious, what kinds of things do you view differently now? I'm rereading the manga after a long time too, and the big thing I'm noticing is that I have more compassion now, especially towards characters who I didn't realize reminded me of myself and not in the best ways 😂 And especially during part 1 I found myself wondering why we don't see their parents more often (for those who still have them) and who took care of them growing up (for the others).

I have felt similar!! Ok I’m gonna maybe list stuff out on what I’ve noticed I view differently.

Very long post under the cut of me rambling (again)!

1. My Opinion on What I Consider Good Media Has Changed

Starting with this one as I feel it’s a big overarching thing that’ll dictate all my other opinions and thoughts. I’ve watched, read, and listened to A LOT of other series and media since I first started watching Naruto (also you know life experience and such), so I have a better idea of what is “good” media and what is “bad.” When I was younger, I considered Naruto to be the best of the best, but I don’t think that now (as far as anime that title now goes to FMA:B it’s very good please watch it if you haven’t oh my god). It has a lot of flaws, some endearing and others… not so much. Granted that’s any piece of media. Nothing is perfect (not even FMA:B). But despite that, I’ve also learned that it’s ok to still enjoy it!! Imo it’s not all bad, I mean, we’re still here discussing it yea?

I guess the TLDR of this part is: it’s cringe but that’s ok cuz life is short and we should enjoy the stuff we like.

2. Female Characters/Feminism

I feel like, while these are different topics, they’re very linked together in how I watch Naruto now so I’m putting them together. When I was younger, I didn’t like really any of the female cast (except Tenten). I found them “annoying,” to put it simply. Sakura always chasing after Sasuke?? Lame. Ino being obsessed with her looks?? Shallow. Hinata losing to Neji? Weak. I began to think that I didn’t like those characters because I didn’t like female characters mostly as a whole (which is kinda hilarious cuz I did start making Chihiro back then who does in fact identify as a woman LOL!!). But this negative attitude towards female characters not only leaked into how I consumed other media, but how I saw myself and other women irl. Like I distinctly remember believing that a woman could never beat a guy in anything. Which is uh… not true!! And kinda fucked up!!!

Now that I’m older I just realize that kishimoto doesn’t know how to write women all that well. Imo, it’s not the girls’ faults, it’s their creator. Which is disappointing but also freeing almost?? Plus, I can now appreciate what good they do have to offer!! (I talked a little about the konoha 12 girls and what I like about them in this ask in case you’d like details on individual characters)

I think also being exposed to other fans with differing opinions and views has helped me with this as well. When I first started watching I didn’t really go online (wasn’t a thing in Cuba plus I wasn’t really interested), so I didn’t really have other perspectives to bounce off of.

Also wanted to add that there are definitely parts of the show I laughed off before but you know, just are not acceptable nowadays. Mainly thinking of Shikamaru talking down on girls/women, Neji made a rude comment about girls too (that Tenten corrected him on tho thank you queen), and some bits that could be perceived as a little transphobic (I’m not trans tho so I don’t wanna speak for them on that bit). Its viewpoints that I feel are a product of the time, but does not make the overall series bad per se.

3. Seeing Other Children as a Child VS as an Adult

Ngl since I grew up with Naruto, I feel as if I will always see them as my peers in a sense. If anything, almost like the “older kids” in school. Like I don’t know if this is a common perception, but I remember when I was like in 2nd grade I saw 6th graders as like tiny adults, but then when I was in 6th grade I saw 2nd graders as like babies. Does that make sense?? Anyway, it’s interesting rewatching Naruto as an adult and seeing my “peers” when they were younger. I remember thinking that 12 & 13 year olds were badass and cool and practically ready for the real world (I was like 8 or 9 when I first started watching leave me alone), and being amazed at stuff like the chunin exams. Nowadays my brain just kinda goes “why are we letting these CHILDREN go to war???” It’s a similar story with like the sensei. Thinking they’re so experienced and old and… now I’m the same age as them and I’m still young!!

4. Might Gai is Cringe and I Love Him For That

The way I didn’t appreciate this man when I was a kid is a CRIME. Teaching his students (and friends) that it’s important to find joy in life is SO IMPORTANT and Gai just does an EXCELLENT job with that!! He strives to be a source of light for the people in his life, and to show others it’s important to smile and laugh from time to time. It warms my cold dead grownup heart what can I say. There’s a line in OG Naruto after Lee beats Sasuke in their fight before the chunin exams, where Naruto turns to Sasuke and Sakura as their cringing at Lee and Gai and says, “actually, it’s kinda sweet how they’re all hugging and stuff!” And that kinda summarizes my thoughts on them.

TLDR Might Gai is cringe but he is free and I love him so much for that.

5. Seeing Myself in Characters I Didn’t Before

Off the top of my head, the three characters I see myself in more so now than when I was younger is definitely Choji, Lee, and Tenten.

I was never popular growing up, especially when I moved back to the US after living in Cuba. Kids just didn’t wanna play with me or have me on their sports teams, so I was purposefully left out oftentimes, kinda like how choji was when he was younger. Rewatching that part made me cry honestly HAHA I saw myself so clearly. I’m also plus size so the beauty standards he has to deal with really speak to me. I remember Shikamaru telling him one time that girls don’t have to be skinny to be pretty and I would be lying if that didn’t give me a huge amount of confidence in myself.

Rock Lee’s story has always been top notch, but as someone who chose to specialize in a path that I didn’t really have natural talent for myself it REALLY speaks to me now. I’ll be 100% honest, I was never really one of those “been drawing since I could hold a pencil” kind of kids. I liked it, but I didn’t really consider myself any good until like 8th grade or so. Anyway, there’s this scene where Lee is crying at the training grounds cuz he’s scared that, no matter how hard he works, it’ll all be for nothing and that he’ll always be a loser, and uh… had to turn the show off cuz that struck WAAAAAAAY too close to home for me as an artist with a… let’s be real, a failing art business. Anyway, he inspires me though to keep going cuz this is what brings me joy. I may take longer than most, but that doesn’t mean I’m less of a person for it.

Tenten I’ve honestly seen a lot of myself in even when I was younger! But there’s this filler episode that goes into detail on how she tried really hard to be just like Tsunade, since that was her dream since she was little. Turns out she doesn’t have the capacity to do that (not being able to do medical ninjutsu well, etc), but she finds her own strengths along the way. What really spoke to me was letting go of your childhood dreams. It’s hard. It feels like you’re failing in a way. But Tenten was able to persevere and find a new and even better path forward for herself. And that’s just amazing. I love seeing that, and it helps me feel as if I too and maybe find my path.

6. Final Thoughts and Random Little Things

I think it’s also safe to say that I can pick up on story flaws (I’m looking at you 4th great ninja war arc) and inconsistencies (how the heck does the hyuga clan work wtf). It’s a long series and nowadays you can binge the whole thing in one sitting (I don’t recommend that please take care of yourself). Back in my day I had to wait a whole week to watch the next 26 minute episode with commercials in between. Also I was a kid. AHAHA!! But again, long series, so I’m sure Kishi forgot about certain details while he was being pushed to continue the series.

Also my views on certain things that happened in the series changed based on what I know what happens later, which I find to be quite fun!

Overall I still enjoy the series, both for similar reasons as I did back in the day (Neji) and for new reasons!! Flaws and all. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

I'M SO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO SEE YOUR ANSWER TO MY ASK; thank you so much for answering though, omg I wasn't expecting to receive an entire analysis in response, it made me so happy 😭💚 Since I need more people to talk about Mushitarou with, now I wanna ask, do you have any headcanons for him and/or Yokomizo? 🥺👉👈 I want to write fic for them, but it's really hard considering that we know so little about both of them :' ) I'm also curious, do you have any thoughts as to why Yokomizo's face is shadowed? I think it would make sense if we couldn't see his face before the truth is revealed, as a representation of how Mushi is trying to distance himself from reality and him/forget about him/lie to himself about not caring about him (which is why I theorized the anime might reveal his face when said truth is revealed, but they didn't do that, rip), but during the final scene and even later in Mushi's hallucinations, his face is still obscured, so... I don't know. I just think it would have been powerful to see his face more clearly as Mushi heals more and is more accepting of his grief and how much he misses Yokomizo... but maybe it'll happen if when we get more of his arc later. Or maybe I'm just totally missing something and being delusional lol

Again, thank you so much for the detailed response before; Mushi needs so much more love 🥺💚

Why are you apologizing??? It's ok! I appreciate you reading it all in the first place! I'm really happy to talk about his character at any time. (Nice icon, btw!)

First off, if you do end up writing anything about him and/or Yokomizo, I would love to see it! That is, if you're ok with sharing it. :)

Headcanons, huh? Hm... you see, normally I try to pull at least a few things from the original authors' stories but... sad to say I know nothing about their irl inspirations asides from them being mystery writers, I believe, and that they did know each other.

I guess, here's a few thoughts from off the top of my head? They're not all headcanons exactly, but this is kind of the way I see them.

Yokomizo is the kind of person who is completely unfazed by anything that's not happening in his novels. I bet that when Mushitaro showed up with a completely different face he just went... "huh" and went back to writing and asking him for opinions.

Mushitaro argues on principle. Not because he actually disagrees or anything but just because he's a bit of a disagreeable person by nature. People like Poe or Ranpo will want him to do something with them and he needs to act like he doesn't want to, before finally relenting (he's still grumbling about it though). (<-he is secretly pleased people want to spend time with him)

Mushitaro canonically likes the occult, and if you can get him talking about this topic he can go on for a very long time, and he actually looks excited and eager about it - at least until he regains his self-awareness. Then he's back to pretending he's not that excited by it.

Yokomizo and Mushitaro met when they were preteens. Neither one had other friends and Mushitaro decided to announce his arrival by attempting to explain the mystery book Yokomizo was reading to... resident mystery expert, Yokomizo. (I believe Mushitaro was especially pompous what he was younger, and unfortunately also often wrong.) Yokomizo spent a very long time correcting him on mysteries and was so ecstatic that someone listened through the whole thing that he kept ambushing Mushitaro at school for his thoughts on various mysteries he was reading. Mushitaro absolutely thought he was being bullied for weeks before he realized that the other boy was attempting to befriend him.

Mushitaro is actually the sentimental type, unlike Yokomizo, who really isn't all that much. From the outside, it appears to be the opposite, since Yokomizo is prone to fantastic and excitable discussions of his new ideas while Mushitaro is seemingly dismissive and more realistic. However, Yokomizo is more than capable of scrapping beloved projects he's been working on for months if they aren't up to his standards (I think he's a bit of a perfectionist), while Mushitaro has a difficult time throwing away anything with sentimental value.

I am curious about Mushitaro's past a little; not in that I think it was anything really tragic or dramatic, but mostly in the way his father apparently told him to be kind to strangers, the way he can't seem to be all that assertive despite his posturing, the way his core coping mechanism appears to be just flat out denying he has sentimental feelings (even before Yokomizo's death). Idk. Something there.

I think further development of Mushitaro's dynamic with Ango could be really interesting. Assuming a future where he does get to start with the Special Division and Ango is not fired, I'd like to see them working together somehow. I think they could really play off each other well and that they'd have a lot of growth potential in that sense. Honestly, I'd take anymore interactions between them as I can get.

That's about it, honestly. Do you have any headcanons for them?

As for Yokomizo's face being shadowed, I feel like it has everything to do with this only being the Yokomizo in Mushitaro's mind. Even before his death, the Yokomizo we see is filtered through Mushitaro's memories of these events, and I suppose it's an artistic way to express how he's blocked some stuff out, like you said, but probably also to indicate that Yokomizo is not coming back.

There's a similar thing done in the manga and 55 Minutes with Oda whenever Dazai reminisces about him; I don't believe his face is ever shown, though it's not shadowed like Yokomizo's. So, that's what I suspect.

I hope these made some degree of sense... they're not super backed by canon, but I guess that's why they're headcanons huh? Haha.

He absolutely needs more love. I'm hoping people discuss him more after the anime.

Anyone who wants to, feel free to drop any headcanons you have about these two here!

[materialistvampire]

for the system hc ask game: 3 7 8 10 18 21 & 23 with kudan <3

Wow beloved mutual I wonder how you got the impression this is a thing I have thought about in depth?

Answers below the cut because this is long.

3. Do they have a collective system name? If so is there a meaning behind it?

I feel like that would probably be a point of contention for them, honestly. I think that's something Kudan would be adamantly against, because she's very concerned with public perception and she strikes me as the type to view that sort of thing as... For lack of a better word, kind of cringe-inducing. I think she'd prefer to be subtle about it in general. Yu seems like the type to come up with one, but to be honest I don't think she really cares much either way and wouldn't wanna fight Kudan over the matter.

7. Is there a particular topic they disagree on a lot? (Ie what to eat, what to wear, what music to listen to, ect)?

A lot of things. I think, as a system, they generally try to intentionally distinguish themselves as individuals from one another, because all of the headmates share in common the fact they're extremely willful people who would hate being seen as anything less than distinct people so, they tend to have very different preferences.

That being said, I think there's a certain mutual understanding between them because of this to let whoever is fronting basically do what they want as long as it's, not actively against the interests of the system. If they're doing something together they usually have to talk it through first.

8. What is their headspace like?

I think they have separate rooms, but no real "interim" space - they go between each other's if they wanna visit. I feel like Yu Ushizawa read a lot of fantasy novels as a child and internalized that heavily so she'd have a sort of like, dreamy castle type area. Kudan might have her own separate study room that's more Victorian inspired, has a lot of books, not actually super high tech despite what you might assume from her outward interests.

10. Do they have a collective gender or sexuality? Are there any alters who’s identities contradict this?

Staying closer to canon stuff? Yeah. I view Kudan as like, lesbians tbh who are IRL closeted about it due to familial pressure reasons, and I'd say that's true for Yu as well. Straying further into headcanon territory... I think while they may have other alters who wouldn't share that, since they're stealth about it, they wouldn't really discuss it openly unless explicitly asked. Think Yu having a male alter is well within the realm of possibility though.

18. Do they have any other disabilities?

Hilarious thing for you to ask me about the canonically disabled character.

Besides that, I feel like she's got some type of neurodivergence going on, but besides a fairly obvious case of C-PTSD, it's hard to say. I don't think any of them are the type to self-diagnose, as Kudan's scared about stigma and Yu dislikes the medical/psychiatric framework too much.

21. What are their protector(s) like? How do they protect the system?

*staring at the camera* Kudan social protector vibes. No I am not elaborating on that because I would be here all day but ANYWAYs it's real to me sorry.

23. Have they ever had a host change? What was that like for them?

I think Kudan probably became the primary host when they were around 12-13 after Yu went through All That. Kind of in my mind Kudan existed for sometime before that but after all of the trauma surrounding her Dad, Yu sort of, withdrew from the outside world and Kudan took over essentially in order to "fix" things for her, and then steadily over time became dominant to the point where she's in extreme denial.

(Side note: I think the name Kudan is something she comes to associate herself with later on, after being forced to confront all of the System Stuff, and also to put some distant between herself and Yu because she has... Issues)

Anyways yeah TLDR I am Insane about them and also Protector Kudan is so real to me sorry <3

[clown-is-lonelyy]

Wanna explore my romance & sex repulsion as an aroacespec and aegoromantic aegosexual

It also turned into a long post oop

So in every media I have watched or just had people do in front of me irl, I Do Not like looking at or listen to people kiss, flirt, be intimate or any of that kind of stuff for the life of me.

I always have to cover the screen, mute the volume, turn away and just focus on something else until it’s over

I think that’s where the romance/sex repulsion comes in. But sometimes, it tends to feel like it’s coming from a place of awkwardness and uncomfyness, like it’s just something I do not relate to and I’m the only one in the room that feels that way out of a whole group that doesn’t. Idk if that really matters tho ??

It’s why the whole concept of “simping” ends up making me feel really uncomfortable tbh. (and just wanna clarify I really don’t have problems with people who like self shipping, there’s no hate towards them, i mean that!! /gen)

It just feels like I’m sitting across from someone that’s saying all of these jokes and making all of those comments about a character, and I will just never feel/think about someone that way, so idk, the vibes are just real off for me at that point and I don’t like it.

On a different side to that, I’m still perfectly fine having fantasies or engaging in fan content about these concepts, although there is a small feeling of awkwardness while doing so, but it’s mostly in fanart or some fanfics I come across. I still avoid any types of self-insert or x reader stuff, but the main romantic/explicit content I can engage with is shipping stuff

It’s more easier for me to see these romantic or explicit scenarios play out when there are other characters doing it that aren’t me, so there’s the aego part there. I quickly start getting iffy when I’m reading stuff that has a first-person pov and describing a intimate scene

So all in all, anything that indicates having to place myself within a romantic/sexual setting is a big no no

And tbh, putting those two things together now that I’m looking at it, it really feels like a big contradiction I think, it sounds like it is

But since I’m actually laying it down and really thinking about it, I think it mostly comes down to me physically seeing that stuff, with the fanart and show/movie scenes. I have a better time imagining that stuff with different characters, also by reading. I just really don’t like hearing people talk about their attraction to someone and act out on it where I can see.

Soo yeah, I guess that’s it

To give a tldr: I’m a sex/romance repulsed aroace, I don’t like looking at things with those kinds of interactions, along with stuff like self shipping and reader inserts, they’re a big no for me. But I’m also aego, I can engage with romantic or explicit content if they are playing out entirely with different characters, it’s pretty much the only way I can look at things like that, just as long as there’s nothing that places me in the pov of those scenes.

Okay, I’m now done, this probably came out like a word jumble tbh, I’m not good at really explaining my feelings and I suck at using words so this was difficult to write but I tried

Big thanks to whoever reads all this, I wanna get into discussing more aspec related stuff so I’d appreciate any comments you wanna leave :D

I’m always looking for more ways to express my aspec identity cause I really don’t give myself chances to do so otherwise ;u;

[j3scax]

Okay small rant time.

I'm getting real tired of like, social media atm. Idk if it's like, my own fault or the fault of the world or whatever but it just feels like everything is somehow so much more aggressively aggressive and in your face. Maybe when I was younger I just didn't realise, but it feels like recently all I see is drama, hit pieces or identity war shit.

I fully understand politics and such are important, as well as trying to help people understand why something may be problematic. But sometimes it feels so extremely overbearing. A lot of my YouTube feed is just "___ is over" or "___ is horrible" rather than like, random video essays I watch pretty much all the time. Most of the videos I watch aren't these kind of drama videos, I may watch an odd Moistcritical video now and then but other than that I wanna watch a fucking hour long video about Venus or something. It's why I appreciate channels like Wendigoon so much, even when he does get dragged into drama (which mind you is the personification of pointless drama I'm seeing) his channel just stays the same as always, I can just sit down and listen to him talk about some random cool niche thing.

Some social media platforms have always been like this, for example Twitter - that has always been a shit hole so it has always been easy to circumnavigate that kind of community since all you need to do is not to go on Twitter. But now it's just fucking everywhere and it makes me feel like shit. I'm tired of it all, and I don't care for it anymore. It feels like no matter where I go I have to deal with this shit, and although you could argue this stuff is important it surely isn't that important if I can talk to my friends or meet people irl and never get onto these subjects or topics. Sure it might come in passing like "Oh did you hear about ___" but that's the extent of it.

It also feels like no matter what your opinion is online you're somehow wrong to someone. You could give an extremely well detailed, well reasoned and well thought out opinion and you'll just be criticised just because mob mentality. And the inverse is true, it gives people with unreasoned opinions that are genuinely terrible to have a platform to share them. I've always said this is just the issue of free speech, if you allow people to freely speak there's going to be bad or negative opinions, but this shit shouldn't be constantly peddled to me on platforms like YouTube when I don't engage in the content.

I just feel like everything is more hateful and everyone seems to need to take sides on something, and if you even dare not to comment or remain partial (either because you don't care, don't want to involve yourself or believe you're not educated to give your opinion) you're somehow worse than fucking Satan himself. Yet even if you do give your stance you're still somehow hypocritical or a bad person. I just hate it and I genuinely don't think the internet used to be like this. I might be talking out of nostalgia. But pre-COVID compared to post-COVID just feels so much more noticeable to me.

I remember my time on social media back in 2019-2021 and while there were still some of the things I've discussed, it was nowhere near as obvious. Sure you had your niche areas of hatred like the DreamSMP, but as someone who never really engaged in the fandom or community I never really experienced the negatives of it and it wasn't as pushed into my face. That's how it used to feel to me, stuff like this would be relegated to just one area or fandom, rarely did stuff spread out of their own communities - and those that did spread out gained the reputation of being toxic with people knowing to avoid them. But now stuff begins to feed over into everything, and I mean everything. I could just be watching a streamer or whatever - someone who doesn't need to be or wouldn't be involved in said issue - and they'll be interrogated on every single view they have on every piece of drama. I was peddled a fucking GODZILLA drama video a couple days ago, a fandom I have never interacted with once or engaged with on YouTube.

I'm tired of it. Just because other people want to engage in a constant hate spiral to ruin their lives, want to constantly make money off of milking every topic of note, doesn't mean I want to. And if you ever express an opinion like this, suddenly you're a bad person, or you're defending whoever in whatever drama, or you're ignorant for ignoring current issues. Yes. I think knowing about and educating people on current issues is important, and I'm not saying it's bad to inform people or report news, but this shit is all I'm fucking given. Like I said earlier, you'd still have drama videos or exposés back before COVID, but it wouldn't constantly be in your face. It isn't like the News where you can choose to interact with it or not.

Even then, I'd still argue that the only issues that really matter are problems that relate to you - and these are the issues we should push people to research or interact with. We should push people to look into whether their tax money is being misused and we should educate them on it. We should educate people and give news to people about what is happening in their war torn home country. We shouldn't be constantly pushing people and forcing people to decide whether Mr. Beast is a pedophile or not. As someone who has no care for Mr. Beast, I don't fucking care and I don't want to see it or hear about it.

That's my little rant over.

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

Part Five. "You guys gossip about boys without me?"

warnings: swearing, mentions of emotional abusive/manipulation word count: 3.2k (not including pictures)

behind the screen (irl dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

.

Y/n dropped her phone on the bed and slowly rolled off and onto the ground with a soft THUD. She grunted, falling harder than she expected but the dull pain now present in her right shoulder felt deserved somehow. Why did she think she deserved it? Maybe because she was an unconfrontational worm even when the person needed to be confronted because he hurt her more than anyone ever had.

She closed her eyes and wiggled to get comfortable on the thin carpet in her room. Laying on the ground was relaxing to her, forcing her gamer back to straighten to how it was intended. It helped her think, being on the floor. She didn't know why but she didn't question it. Just laid on the floor in acceptance with the dirt and forgotten candy wrappers.

Why didn't she want to respond to Peter? Well, years of being with him and even the months of not being with him had taught her that her ex liked to get his way and liked to take his anger out in her verbally when he didn't.

You could say she's heard some terrible things over very simple inconveniences.

Y/n slowly pattered to her desk and slid on her headphones, finding the discord server Dream said he and George were on. It was a server that a lot of their friends were in, one that Y/n hardly went in since she still hadn't met a lot of them and wasn't super comfortable with talking in it yet.

She scrolled through the various text chats, one for boredom, one for stream questions, one for memes, one for pictures of pets, one for.... discussing the inevitable takeover of rats...? Y/n wasn't sure what that was about but she knew she didn't want to find out. The list went on. She was pretty sure they had made a channel for every possible message someone could ever send.

There were equally as many voice channels, most of them titled with the names of different games for when they only played with each other and didn't stream. Some of them were just random names and she noticed there was one to match the rat takeover text channel. Okay, who was responsible for that?

After what felt like an entire scavenger hunt and with many new questions in her mind, Y/n finally found the voice channel Dream and George were in and clicked on it. It was called memerz-only.

"I'm not a memer, am I allowed in here?" she asked. She hadn't realized how messed up her voice was since she hadn't talked all day.

"Holy shit, Bug, you sound awful."

She scoffed a laugh. "Thanks, Dream. Really means a lot." She did sound pretty scuffed. Her voice was a little scratchy from not talking literally all day.

"You doing okay, Bugsy?" George asked kindly, to which she hummed.

“I just have one quick question...”

“Mhm?”

“This is simple, please don’t elaborate further. There’s a channel on this server... did you guys mean rat as in BadBoyHalo’s dog or rats as in rats?”

Neither of them spoke for a minute before George understood what she was referring to. “Oh! Rats as in rats.”

“Okay, thank you.” 

“Yeah, Quackity—“

“No!” she interupted. “No! I said I don’t wanna know. I really don’t. I’m too afraid to understand.”

“Wha- HA, okay.”

“Good choice, Bugsy. I wish I didn’t know what it’s about. It’s a lot weirder than you’d think.”

“Now that that’s settled,” Dream said with a laugh. “How are you doing, Bug?”

"Neither of you are streaming, right?" she asked, doubling checking the twitch app on her phone to be sure.

"No."

"So I don't have to pretend to be happy and bubbly?"

"No, you can be as mundane as you'd like," Dream said. "We don't mind."

"Yeah, honestly, most of the time when Dream and I are on calls alone it's just us being super boring and hardly talking."

"That's..." she paused to find the right words and decided with, "actually really cute. You guys just enjoy each other's presence."

George scoffed and Dream giggled. "See, even Bug says we're cute, Georgie! Why can you tell me you love me?"

"I'll leave right now if you don't stop," George threatened. "Can we go back to how Bugsy's miserable?"

"I'm not miserable, I just..." she hesitated. She had already told George about why she was having a bad day, but Dream?

She didn't want to tell Karl because she knew he would yell at her. She didn't want to tell Sapnap because she didn't trust him not to tell everyone (on accident, of course). For some reason, it was a different kind of hesitation than with the others that made her not want to tell Dream. She didn't want to tell him because she didn't want to be... embarrassed? Maybe that was it. She thought it would be embarrassing to tell Dream about how her ex-boyfriend treated her like shit and how now he wants to get back together with her. Plus, she knew how everyone else individually would react but Dream was a complete mystery. Maybe he'd yell at her too and say she's stupid for being affected by an ex. Maybe he'd break down crying for some reason? Who knows?

"You don't have to tell us," Dream stated. "Seriously."

"It's embarrassing," she said, tucking her feet beneath her on her seat. As she said the words, she decided they felt right. She was embarrassed. "But George already knows."

Above everyone else, Y/n was okay with telling George about her situation because he and her tended to talk about their troublesome relationships quite often. He always came to her for advice and she to him. They were very similar in their ways of thinking and seemed to have lots of similar dating stories, even if neither of them knew what the hell they were doing. She knew he'd never judge her for thinking unclearly since he tended to do the same.

George hummed, not knowing what to say since she hadn't said much. She could tell he didn't wanna say something that might make Dream more nosey and start hounding her about telling him.

"What hap—never mind. Not my business," Dream said quickly.

"No, I mean, I kinda wanted to talk to George about it again anyway so I guess you can join in on the gossip." Guess my mouth decided for me on this one, she thought.

"Wait, what? You guys gossip about boys without me?"

"Oh my gosh, don't say it like that, Dream," George groaned. "Bugsy and I talk about relationship problems a lot, yes. Not just boys."

"How did I not know this?"

"Because you don't know a lot of things?"

"It's normally George sending screenshots of text conversations with girls and asking me how to let them down gently," Y/n explained with a giggle.

"Or Y/n talking about her asshole ex."

"George! What do you and Karl not get about not calling him names?"

"I'm so lost," Dream mumbled.

Y/n sighed. "Okay, well," she cut herself off with a groan. "It's so embarrassing. Basically, my ex asked me to 'chat' this morning which is code for he wants to get back together—"

"Do you know that for sure?" Dream asked.

"Yeah, we already decided that," George snapped. "Let her finish."

"Sorry."

"So he wants to get back together and I feel stupid for wanting to listen to what he has to say."

"How is that embarrassing?"

"Because he hurt me and I feel like an idiot because him even suggesting that means he doesn't realize how badly he hurt me. It makes me feel like, I don't know, like all the time I spent being upset was for nothing," Y/n explained in a soft voice. "And because his simple, like, five word text made me freak out all day to the point of exhaustion."

"I don't think you should be embarrassed, Bugsy," George offered.

"Have either of you, uh, have you ever considered dating an ex?"

"Didn't you just say he hurt you badly?" Dream asked. "You aren't thinking of getting back with him, are you?"

"No... but I want to stay friends so maybe I should hear him out?"

"Well, I've never gotten back with an ex," he said bluntly. "But to be fair, all my relationships have ended badly or for bad reasons so I've never wanted to see any of them again. Staying friends depends on why you and he broke up, I guess, but..."

"Um, how do I put this..." she trailed off. "He was mean to me."

"Then no? Simple."

"But I've forgiven him and I think he's changed."

"People don't change that easily. Didn't you break up like, a few months ago?" George asked.

"Yeah, but—"

"Honestly I think if a guy was ever mean to you he doesn't deserve any more of your attention," Dream decided. "So, no. Don't even be his friend. Don't listen to a single thing he has to say."

"That's what I told her," George agreed.

"If that were the case, you guys shouldn't be friends," she argued. "You're mean to each other all the time."

"But we know it's a joke," George defended.

"So you're saying if someone is ever purposefully mean to you just once, you drop them forever?"

"Well, no," Dream said. "Not exactly. But it sounds like he was super mean to you since it's why you broke up."

She took a deep breath. She didn't want to go into detail. She was already uncomfortable enough talking about her personal life so much, but she trusted both of them and needed to get it off her chest and they were there and willing to listen. They had already established wanting to listen to her if she wanted to speak and right now, she wanted to speak. Maybe not the full story, but at least some. "He, um, well, the mean things he said, he said because he was trying to get me to see what he thought was the truth about myself."

Both of them were silent for a few moments. "I'm still confused," George admitted.

"Me too... But you don't have to tell us." Dream explained again. She thought it was sweet that they kept reassuring her that.

"I know, but I want to. If it's not too much for you guys..."

"No, go ahead, if you want."

"Uh, he lowkey emotionally manipulated me by telling me I wasn't good enough for anyone and stuff and how he was the only one who could ever love me. The second part he said truly believing that he was being romantic. There are a lot worse and specific things engraved in my brain but that's the gist of what he would tell me. He made me believe that I could never leave him because I could never be loved by anyone else. But he said it all in a way that... he thought he was just... letting me in on something no one else had the guts to tell me."

George gasped. "What?! Bugsy, I'm so sorry, I didn't know it was like that."

"Woah, what the hell? No. Absolutely not. Don't give this guy a second thought. Cut him off for good," Dream said sternly, angry that anyone would say that to anyone, especially to someone like Y/n. "Wait, so, you broke up with him?"

"Yeah. After Karl yelled at me a lot and explained his outside point of view, I finally realized Peter was gaslighting me and emotionally abusing me and stuff so I dumped him. I guess right now I'm just upset by it because I thought we were past this and I was healing and him reaching out affected me again. I'm just emotionally exhausted. Like I said, it hurts to know that he doesn't realize what he did to me."

"I'm really sorry, Bug," Dream said softly. "Gimme his address and I'll punch him for you."

She laughed through her nose. "That's okay. Thanks."

"Yeah, she can go set his house on fire if she wants. She's proven that already."

"Shut up, George," she said with a small laugh.

"Wh......at?" Dream stuttered and George briefly explained.

"Well, Bug, just so you know, in case you weren't aware, you're really cool and sweet and funny and we really like having you around–" Dream started.

"Oh, ugh, no don't do this," she tried to joke but he ignored her as he continued his speech.

"–and you're way too good to be hanging out with either of us, and whatever that asshole was showing you wasn't love. 'No one could love you like he did' because what he was doing was not love, it was abuse." Dream's voice had a certain gentleness to it as he spoke that comforted Y/n and made her believe him. He was blunt but it didn't stab her in the heart like it should have.

If Y/n ever cried, she might have just then from how sweet they were both being. But she didn't because that wasn't something she did. She never cried over anything Peter said, never cried during movies, and didn't cry then. But she did smile very fondly at the Discord screen in front of her.

"Thank you, Dream."

"You know I'm not good with words, but, yeah, what Dream said," George said. "I'm sorry you had to go through that thinking it was normal. Please, please, do not get back together with him and please don't be friends with him."

"He's fine as a friend though."

"Bug. Whether he's fine as a friend doesn't matter, he doesn't deserve to have you as a friend. He treated you like shit, it's okay to be a little cold to him."

She sighed. They were right. "Okay." There was a long pause before, "thanks, guys. Sorry for coming in here and dumping my problems on you—"

"Don't be sorry," George said. "We're the ones that asked you to come in and share. We knew what we signed up for and don't regret it."

"Seriously, Bug, we care about you. You're allowed to, you know, talk about yourself." How did he know that's what she meant by that sentence? The way he could read her mind was heart-warming.

"Also, George knows this but Dream, there's a strict no-telling policy about this kinda thing. Please don't tell anyone."

"I wouldn't even think of it," he promised. "My lips are sealed."

"Good."

A soft animal noise came from one of their mics and Y/n strained her ears to listen. "Was that a cat?"

"Patches has entered the chat," George joked.

Dream chuckled. "Yeah, my cat just jumped on my lap."

"Aw, you have a cat? Lemme see lemme see lemme see!" Y/n begged. "Partly because I would love if we could stop talking about my ex-boyfriend and the other part because I love cats."

"There's pictures of her in the pets channel on Discord—"

"No, no I want a picture of her on your lap. Is she all snuggled up?"

"Yeah, she is."

"PleASE, Dream. I need to see the snuggly cat."

"Fine, fine, if you insist. Give me a second."

A few moments later, she got a DM from Dream and smiled at the picture. His room was dark but the computer screen cast a cold glow over a ball of fur on a lap clad in sweatpants. "Awww, she's so cute."

"Dream, I wanna see it too," George whined. "Send it to the pets channel."

"I'm literally making this my lock screen," Y/n informed, making Dream laugh.

"No, George, it's only for Bug. She's had a bad day so she gets exclusive Patches content."

"What? That is so messed up."

"You know what's messed up, George?" Dream asked. "You never come to me with advice on how to reject girls. We're on the phone for 12 hours a day but you can't talk to me about girls? Do you know how that makes me feel?"

"You'll just make fun of me."

"Why would I? What makes you think that?"

"Because Sapnap and I make fun of you? So obviously you and him would make fun of me?" George said with a laugh.

"....that's fair."

Y/n locked her phone and clicked the home button to admire her new lock screen. "I love her," she whispered.

Dream and George both laughed. "I'm regretting sending you that. You're gonna, like, make a shrine or something."

"What would be wrong with that? She's precious. She deserves a shrine."

"Yeah, Dream, you're the one that feeds her gormet cooked food," George teased with a laugh. "You probably have a shrine."

"That's normal! That's what people feed their cats! That's completely normal!"

"I don't," George countered.

"Then what do you feed your cat?" Dream asked.

"I dunno, normal cat food?"

"Wait! You have a cat too??" Y/n asked. "I feel like we're missing a huge detail and it's that George never told me he had a cat."

"And a dog."

"WHAT? GEORGE! Send me pictures!!!!!"

"I can't right now, it's like three am. They're sleeping. Look in the pets channel."

"You're the worst," she grumbled, clicking and scrolling to find his pets. She saw a lot of cute pictures of other peoples pets along the way but couldn't find George's.

"Hey, do your animals have English accents?" Dream asked, making Y/n laugh.

"What?" George scoffed. "You're so stupid."

"How would that even sound?" Y/n asked.

"Like..." Dream thought, preparing to test out how it would hypothetically sound. "Meow," Dream meowed in his best accent, failing miserable.

"Oh gosh, never do that again," Y/n begged.

Dream laughed into his mic. "That was disgusting. George, I really hope your pets don't have accents."

"They're animals, so probably not. And if they did, it definitely wouldn't sound like whatever that was."

"Oh come on–"

"OH I FOUND THEM." Y/n announced as she found a message from George in the pets channel with the message 'heard we're sharing our pets'. "GEORGE. THEY'RE SO CUTE."

"Are you gonna make them your background picture now?" George asked.

"What, no way! It's Patches!" Dream scoffed.

"Yeah, I'll make George's pets my home screen. Oh, what a good day." As soon as she said it, a metal bowling ball fell to her stomach, reminding her of all the reasons it was, in fact, not a good day.

She got off after a while, feeling the weight of a particular idiot man's stupid simple text catch up with her again. She thanked Dream and George for letting her join, they invited her to always hang out with them, and she went on her way.

Y/n fell on her bed and curled up under the covers as her mind started to wander from Peter to Dream. She was really glad she met him. He was a really good person and he was always so incredibly kind to her. George and Sapnap and Karl were all great friends, so caring and understanding and always looking out for her, but Dream was different and she didn't know why.

Maybe it was because he seemed untouchable still, like he had no reason to hang out around someone like her. But he wasn't untouchable in the celebrity was since he had a large following, because all of her friends did and they didn't seem untouchable. Then what was it? What set him apart from, say, Karl? She trusted Karl with her life and had known him for quite a while. She knew Dream for maybe a few weeks and almost trusted him the same amount.

Why?

She picked her phone up off the bed and pulled up Twitter, deciding to DM Dream since he was already existing in her mind rent-free. Might as well make him pay his rent by bothering him.

*********

PREVIOUS | NEXT

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A/N: EEEEEEEE I hope that all made sense lmaaoooo basically yn ex = gaarrbbaaagggeeeee and ruined her self-worth a lot!! not poggers!!!!!!  THANK U GUYS FOR BEING SO SWEET ALL THE TIME ALL FOR ALL THE POSITIVE FEEDBACK ON ALL THE  CHAPTERS!!! I love seeing you guys make predictions and tell me how aljkDFB chapters make you feel bc same :/

taglist: OPEN (at the time) @hydrate-tion @loraleiix @tinaswagbd @charsdummb @smileyyuta @1ghoste1 @cerberus-hellhound @gaysludge @queestionmark @carnations-red @letsloveimagines @the-fictionwriters-hairdo @boiled-onionrings @a-cryptic @fee-btheweeb @letsloveimagines @erwinss @just-a-stan @axths @kayleigh2703 @furiouspockettoad @sometimeseverythingsucks @powerpuffyn​ @itshaileyn @millavalntyne @automaticcomputerpaper @nikkineeky @fivedicksinatrenchcoat @sprucekot @jabby16 @mae-musicbitch @hungoverhellhound @dreamyteam @kuroo-icedtea @stuffforreferences @menacingaesthetic @sapphic-soot @fangeekkk 

[still-a-morosexual-help]

OBEY ME! LESSON 55 DETAILED SUMMARY AND DISCUSSION/THEORIES

*I wrote this days after the lesson was first posted and never bothered to go back and edit it so meaning there will be me theorizing about the next lesson as well

*I write a small para for each chapter and I write it immediately after finishing that chapter so there’ll be theorizing about the next chapter too

*I swear more than usual here

*Some of the dialogue is heavily plagiarized and a few is lifted directly from the story, the game is to figure which is which.

*Summaries and Discussions/theories for all the other lessons can be found on this blog under #obey me spoilers or #my theories or #my headcanons

OKAY! So first off the background for this is absolutely gorgeous and shows a real demon. You know the kind you’d imagine an actual demon to look like and everything’s dark (black, grey, brown) there’s a castle on a mountain like area with a narrow suspended pathway leading to it, there are crows flying around and a person in a robe pointing what looks like a lit wand at a snarling attacking demon, there are skulls and what looks like weapons on the ground and my favourite part: a person in a long robe, kneeling on the ground, covering the top of their face with their hands and wailing to the sky. It’s all tailor made to my taste and I love it! There’s one locked lesson.

It’s breakfast time and Asmo & Beel are heading to an all you can eat global sweet sampler, MC questions it and Asmo says you can get desserts from all over the world there and Asmo’s hoping to live stream it. Asmo invites MC but Mammon interjects asking them to come see “cute horsies” with him. “’Horsies.’ He’s so pretentious. Shut up, it’s the fucking horse race. ‘Horsies.’” Says Levi. Levi invites MC to a real life TSL themed escape room (that sounds really fun tbh), Satan invites them to come watch the sci-fi movie they were talking about, in their home theatre. (he’s actually watched it 3 times already but he read online theories about it and now he wants to see if he can catch the basis for those theories in the movie). They all start arguing about it (except Beel who’s just eating) when MC gets a text from Diavolo congratulating them on their 5th star and wishing them luck for the other 2 and inviting them to an amusement park date. Everyone – MC included – is kind of baffled by the one on one date with Diavolo. They ask any of the others if they want to tag along but they all refuse but Beel asks if MC can take Belphie along since he hasn’t really left the house in a while and Beel’s worried. MC texts asking if they can bring Belphie along too and Diavolo says the more the merrier and I just know this is gonna end in disaster like did Belphie ever even resolve all the problems he had with Diavolo back in S1?

Beel drags Asmo along to wake Belphie up because a.) he doesn’t want Asmo to leave to the sweets thing without him b.) they need all the help they can get to wake him up. MC suggests using force and Asmo happily volunteers to grab Belphie, turn him over and drop him on the ground, Beel says they can’t do this to poor Belphie cause Beel’s a sweetheart, and says the most force he’ll allow them to use is by tickling Belphie, which Asmo then does. It doesn’t work so Asmo says if they’re gonna use force they should do something like this right before he screams “ASMO DIIIIIIVE!!!” and jumps on top of Belphie as Beel protests and I love that despite what you’d assume from his aesthetic and despite what Asmo would like you to believe he’s a lot more rough and tumble and violent (I just really love the sweet with hidden edges trope as much as I love the jerk with a gooey centre trope). Belphie says ow and Asmo brightly and sweetly cheers that he woke up as if just seconds ago he hadn’t used a wrestling move on his sleeping baby brother. Beel says that though Belphie’s body is awake his mind isn’t (relatable), Beel fixes Belphie’s bedhead and Asmo complains that Belphie’s a stereotypical spoilt brat youngest child and says that Diavolo obviously would’ve wanted a one on one day with MC. Beel says he knows and it’s another reason he wanted Belphie to go. Asmo agrees saying that after everything if MC chooses their boss over any one of the seven guys MC actually lives with it’d feel wrong. Asmo tells Belphie to keep an eye on them and not let it turn into a “whirlwind romance”, Belphie just asks for his pillow and Asmo’s upset cause he doesn’t feel confident about the plan now. Poor Diavolo being constantly cockblocked

On the way Belphie complains about being forced to do this when his schedule is just as busy but MC says all he does is sleep and he says because naps are important to him and he takes them seriously. He wishes he could go back home and asks why of all the demons he had to be stuck with Diavolo (so guess those issues are still around good to know). MC asks if he still dislikes Diavolo cause of his fondness for humans and Belphie says he’s fully gotten over that whole human genocide phase which is great to have confirmed. They ask why he dislikes Diavolo – lots of reasons. He always thinks he’s right and expects to get his way about anything and everything and never listens to anyone’s opinions. He hadn’t bothered to listen to Belphie back when the exchange program had been proposed and Belphie was against it (and I mean to be fair back then Belphie was 100% okay with killing the entire human race for no reason other than the fact that he blamed them for Lilith’s death when really they had nothing to do with it and it was definitely the angels’ fault. I mean I don’t think I would have listened to him either and he really does have the spoilt youngest kid personality. I think out of all the brother’s Belphie’s the one who has the fondest memories of the Celestial Realm – probably helped by the fact that Lilith was still alive then – which is why he never blamed them for what happened and instead directed all his anger at the humans) Lucifer hadn’t let Belphie plead his case (what case Belphie!? That all humans should die!?) and that Diavolo’s surrounded by demons like Barbatos and Lucifer who shield him from criticism (and yeah I agree that this is true and that it’s a bad thing but Lucifer wasn’t shielding Diavolo from criticism when he refused to let Belphie plead his case, he was protecting Belphie cause if Diavolo found out Belphie wanted to kill humans he would have thrown him in jail like he did back at the end of S1 and MC you dumb fuck can you pls tell all this to Belphie) and that Diavolo doesn’t understand that he’s been saved from criticism and Belphie hates that about him and he shudders at the thought of spending the day with Diavolo. On the way they run into Simeon and tell him where they’re going, he says Luke’s been wanting to go there since he saw a ad for it and MC says they could take Luke along with them but he says Luke’s at a cooking class today but that he’d probably love to hear about it when he gets back. Simeon then takes off saying he has a meeting. Belphie goes to call after Simeon to tell him something and catches a glimpse of the person Simeon was supposed to meet. He’s surprised and says “Is that…” and when MC asks what’s wrong he said he must have just imagined it and that the person Simeon was meeting just looked really familiar and HOLY SHITTTTTTT GUYSSS rfhiefjoSJKWDLDADJSJ was I right are we really gonna get to see angels???? That’s the only explanation, right? It would have had to be Michael or even Raphael and there’s only a few lessons left and this and the next lesson are probably gonna focus on Diavolo and Belphie’s relationship and following the patter MC should get their 6th star next lesson, then the two lessons after that will be their final exam for the 7th star and then the last two lessons will focus on saying goodbye as the brothers go back to the Devildom and all that’s gonna have a lot going on but if they’re teasing the angels being here now could they manage to slip them in or will that be too much? I mean they’ll be introducing a whole new (or two whole new) character(s) and ahhh I’m rambling but pls I need the tension and angst between them and the brothers ok I’m done.

When they get there Belphie complains about how crowded it is and MC tries to look for Diavolo to which Belphie points to a group of fangirls surrounding Diavolo. Diavolo answers them sweetly and one of them says he’s even better looking irl and another shyly asks if he wants to walk around with them. Belphie cuts that short by barging in and asking Diavolo what’s going on, Diavolo happily greets Diavolo and one of the girls realises that Belphie called Diavolo ‘lord’. Diavolo apologises to them and said he’s already made plans with friends (and ugh he’s so sweet I love him just wanna give him a big hug I bet he gives great hugs), the girls are very understanding and sweet about it and they leave. Belphie’s a lil shit and says “Aww, too bad, Lord Diavolo. I’d hate to interrupt just as they were hitting on you…” and Diavolo laughs it off saying it wasn’t like that (and can Diavolo not understand sarcasm or does he just ignore it? Both seem highly likely) Belphie disagrees and says they were clearly hitting on him and Diavolo changes the subject and says he can’t believe Belphie actually came, MC explains why and Diavolo says it’s understandable that Beel was worried after Belphie hadn’t left the house in a week (Me, who hasn’t left the house in almost a year: :’) ) Belphie says he knows Diavolo wanted a date with MC but too bad cause now Belphie’s gonna third wheel them. Diavolo tells Belphie not to be ridiculous and that he’s happy that Belphie came (and the thing is other than a small twinge of disappointment this is probably the truth). Belphie says that it probably won’t be a good idea to go around calling him “Lord” Diavolo given the way the girls reacted, Diavolo says he can just call him by his name since he wouldn’t mind but Belphie says he himself would mind and anyway if Lucifer or Barbatos found out Belphie wasn’t using his proper title they’d kill him. So Belphie suggests a nickname which Diavolo’s really happy about and MC suggests DD (they can also suggest John or Cap’n), Diavolo adores it and asks them to call him it all the time hereafter (I want to give him a hug so badly). Diavolo then happily and with lots of exclamation points goes on to say that it’s time to let their hair down and that Barbatos had made minute to minute schedule for them to follow so that they could enjoy the park to the fullest and Belphie says he wants to go home

Diavolo keeps unsuccessfully trying to get Belphie to wear a themed headband and take a group photo, saying he also wants to wear the headband on a boat ride and the ferris wheel. Diavolo gives MC sad puppy dog eyes (which I’m sure he uses successfully on Lucifer regularly, but that don’t affect Barbatos at all) and MC can’t refuse, asking Belphie if there’s anything that’ll get him to change his mind. He says no but he’s not stopping the others from doing it, Diavolo says since they’re here as a group they all should do it, Belphie snaps saying he doesn’t like how Diavolo’s using MC as a tool to bend Belphie to his will and he says he’s going home. Diavolo tries to stop him but he marches off and Diavolo drags MC off to chase after Belphie. Diavolo grabs Belphie by the arm outside the park and begs for a chance to apologize, Belphie denies it and tries to free his arm. Diavolo refuses to let him go saying he should have listened to and considered Belphie’s opinions now as well as in the past, Belphie’s shocked and MC asks Belphie to just hear Diavolo out. He agrees but tells them not to have any expectations of what this’ll accomplish.

Belphie says he doesn’t want to wear the headband or take pics and that he’s only gonna ride what he wants to, Diavolo agrees with all that. He asks if Belphie will stay with them and Belphie agrees and Diavolo is just so brightly stupidly happy and I can completely understand how he was able to make Lucifer question his entire world view. Diavolo’s so happy he starts waving Belphie’s arm around unconsciously and then asks Belphie what rides he wants to go on as they make their way back inside, Belphie doesn’t answer instead he’s blushing and annoyed and asks Diavolo to let go of his hand. Belphie wants to ride ‘The Twisting Freefall of Death II’, MC & Diavolo would like to not freefall to their death thank you very much. Belphie quotes the ride as being, “the single most terrifying experience in the world where you’ll scream for mercy and receive none” Diavolo says, “Did you say scream for mercy…” Belphie happily agrees. Diavolo turns to his last hope, MC, and asks how they feel about this. I like to imagine that even MC has a line where their lacking self-preservation will kick in. Belphie just smiles saying it won’t actually kill them (this would have been more reassuring coming from someone who didn’t once murder MC but whatever.) They can also ask Diavolo how feels about it. After the ride Belphie’s cackling loudly and gushing about how great it was. He’s especially happy about the look on Diavolo’s face during the ride, saying he’s never seen it before (probably the look of a demon praying to God for mercy). MC can say that Belphie seemed to be having a lot of fun, cheer how the ride was the best or say they thought they were going to die. For the 3rd option Belphie very cheerfully says MC’s alive and ok. Belphie asks Diavolo how it was only to realise Diavolo’s missing. He fell off the ride at its highest peak. He’s dead.

They’ve tried texting Diavolo but he doesn’t read them. Belphie wonders what kind of person actually gets lost in an amusement park unless they’re 5. Then he says “…is that what it is? Is he actually 5 yrs old?” He remembers that mammon got lost in a park once too and says the only thing the two of them have in common is that they’re both basically children, They then run into my favourite character in the entire game – the butcher (is2g this man needs to become a recurring side character) who is here with his wife and daughter. He asks them if the rest of the harem is here too and Belphie lets him know that unfortunately they’re here with a new inductee who got lost. The butcher offers to help and asks for a description. MC says he’s the owner of the corvo hotel chain and the butcher wonders who the fuck are these people in the first place to know someone like that and then because the butcher’s the sweetest person alive he too starts worrying about diavolo, scared that he might have gotten kidnapped. Belphie says “there’s no one in the human world oh shit I mean THE WORLD. THE NORMAL WORLD ALL US HUMANS - BECAUSE WE ALL ARE HUMANS - LIVE IN” the butcher now probably used to how weird this cult is (because they definitely are a satanic cult with their extremely obvious demon names, how weird and unused to normal life they are, 7 of them being obviously infatuated by the eighth one but the butcher’s not gonna bring this up cause with the amount of meat they buy from him he could keep his family afloat for years AND pay for his daughters college tuition) ignores this and says he hasn’t seen Diavolo but advices them to check the information desk and ask them to page Diavolo over the loudspeakers. They thank him and Belphie promises to stop by with Beel later, the butcher says he’ll see him then and tells them to take care (I love this man). Barbatos text MC asking how they’re doing and which itinerary of his they’re following cause yes apparently he made more than one and telling them he trusts them to take care of diavolo (and I can’t believe it took me this long to realise Barbatos is a helicopter parent). MC leaves him on read. Lucifer then texts them saying Satan told him where they’d gone and telling them that since the two of them are with Diavolo he assumes he’s okay but just to clarify make sure nothing happens to Diavolo. MC leaves him on read. Belphie says that Barbatos and Lucifer are way too overprotective. Barbatos and MC then realise how fucked they are if either of them find out that they’ve lost diavolo and so decide to skip the whole loudspeaker thing.

They can decide if they want to check by the lake, the ferris wheel or the last ride they went in. He’s not at the lake and they choose to take a boat across the lake to get to the ferris wheel cause it’s faster than going around it. Belphie actually enjoys the boat ride and asks if the two of them can just enjoy themselves together for a bit instead of looking for Diavolo, MC says “I’m worried about Diavolo also can you not remember how fucked we are if we don’t find him”. Belphie gets jealous that MC seems to care more about Diavolo than him (they’re just been practical! If the roles were reversed they’d have shut Diavolo down to look for you!) and says that even they have a real soft spot for Diavolo (He’s like a giant golden retriever!!).  There’s an announcement over the loudspeaker for MC and ‘Snoozy’ saying that DD’s waiting for them at the info desk. Belphie’s not happy about ‘snoozy’ (understandable)

[mcyt-transcribed]

transcript of “where I've been”

TW for discussion of cancer and Covid-19

 Here’s the Google Doc link or you can click on the read more.

Techno: Yo, Technoblade here with another upload, oh my God I can’t believe it. We’re back, we’re playing Bedwars, uh, I don’t know why I said that in the present tense because I actually recorded these Bedwars games a few days ago. I have- I’ve played like, almost no Bedwars since the win streak, which was like, I dunno, years ago - so, you know, forgive me if I’m a little rusty. These are literally just the first three games of Bedwars I played, recorded them, and then just threw them in this background footage because, you know, I like live commentaries a lot, but I feel like sometimes, when you have a topic to talk about, having to play a video game simultaneously can sorta- it can sorta detract from the commentary, you know?

But before that: a plushie commercial filmed on my iPhone.

We got the first one - it’s Technoblade. He’s in a flying pose. He’s flying to save some civilians or he’s falling flat on his face. Depends on who you ask. Alright. We got the- We got Technoblade. He’s sitting down. He’s- He’s seated. He’s seated. It’s incredibly exciting. Uh, we got- we got Technoblade but he’s- he’s a giant- he’s a gigantic pillow. It’s Technopillow. This is actually- This is actually really- This is really soft. You’re gonna have to take my word for it.

These plushies go on sale on September 3rd at 3 PM EST at youtooz.com. The last ones sold out in around eight hours, so be prepared. I mean, one of them was like, two minutes but ehhh, it’s not happening again.

So where has Technoblade been? I know I’ve been gone since like, June. I was actually being really productive in July, which I know you guys are gonna- You’re not gonna believe me when I say that because I made no content. But I was! I was, you gotta believe me, okay? I was getting so much work done IRL; I was like, filling out paperwork, making business moves, working on merchandise, buying new equipment to make new videos. ‘Cause I really wanted- I really wanted to increase the rate at which I was making videos, ‘cause I kinda spent- You know, I kinda spent like, all this time becoming a famous YouTube and then instantly like, stopped uploading. Which, I mean, to be fair, I guess that started more in like 2018. So, that’s more just a pattern now.

 But I figured, you know, this whole thing where I go two- you know, one or two months without uploading- I don’t want that to be me, man. I wanna be uploading at least once per week. So I spent a lot of time preparing to do that. And the plan was that I would start doing that in August, but I took a- It didn’t- It’s, uh- It’s not going great, I’m not going to lie to you.

So in the last two days of July I noticed that my right arm was starting to hurt a decent amount and I thought- My best guess was that it was some kind of repetitive stress injury, ‘cause you know I’ve been playing video games since the age of like, five. It’s pretty much nonstop. I was gonna get carpal tunnel at some point but, uh, I took a few days to rest my arm and it really didn’t�� really didn’t feel any better after that. And so after a few days of that, I looked at myself in the mirror and I noticed that my right shoulder was starting to swell like crazy and I was like, “Oh my God! I must’ve broken a bone, this is-” I mean, this- It looked- it looked crazy.

So, you know, the next day - August 2nd - I, uh, headed over to the doctor to see what was wrong and uh, they ran a couple of scans and then they came back and they told me that, uh, the reason my arm hurts is because I have cancer.

That really couldn’t have gone worse, I don’t think. I feel a bit silly talking about this with, uh, Minecraft in the background; it feels a bit out of place. But I’m a Minecraft YouTuber - I don’t- I don’t do a face cam. Which is I guess how most people would talk about serious things, with a face cam. I also probably, uh- *chuckles* Also probably a bit weird to plug my merchandise in the- in the same video, like, “Hey, guys, I have a- I have a terrible disease, also buy my plushies, bro.” But uh- *laughs* Listen: I’ve been waiting so many months to sell those plushies, bro. And it keeps getting delayed and now cancer thinks it can stop me. No no no no no. I’m trying to make some bank, bro. I wanna get paid, also they look fantastic, I mean just look at them, they look incredible. Alright?

I mean, I guess it would be ideal to like, split up the announcements, but I’m going back into chemotherapy next week; I don’t got time for this, man. We gotta go!

To be fair, I could make this a lot weirder; I could have like, the thumbnail be a giant red arrow pointing to my tumor with the caption “Might die! Not clickbait!” *laughs* Yeah, just the ultimate- the ultimate YouTuber, bro. We’re clickbaiting the whole process.

So after the scans come in, I get transferred to another hospital which has an oncology award, so it’s a lot more specialized towards what I need. And I’m sorta like sitting there in the bed for a couple of days like, “Hello. Could I please get some healthcare? Could I- Could I just get a- Could I just get a crumb of healthcare? Please! Like, I *stutters* I wanna see people sprinting, you know? I feel like I want to see some urgency, you know? If you guys gotta- *stammers* You know, there’s like, this tumor on my arm - if you guys could just- if you guys could just get rid of it. Just get rid of it right now! Could we just go? If you gotta cut off my arm, cut off my arm, bro - do what you gotta do. I won’t complain, man, I’ve won enough Minecraft tournaments. I’ll just play Minecraft with my feet from here on out, bro. I’ll still be B tier at least, okay? It’s fine. Do what you gotta do.”

But then the doctors are telling me, “Oh, well, we can’t- we can’t do it immediately. We gotta- We gotta find out what it is, we gotta run some tests, do a biopsy.” I’m like, “Okay, do the biopsy.” Like, “Oh, well first we gotta do some scans.” I’m like, “Alright, dude, the scans.” And so it took a couple of days and then they did a biopsy, uh, three days later. And then I was like, “Alright. Let’s go!” And they were like, “Oh, well, the biopsy is gonna take like, a week or more to get back.” And I’m just sitting here like, “Bruh, please. Please, just treat me.”

I mean, it makes sense. It makes a lot of sense and I’m sure they know what they’re doing, but I’m just sitting there in the hospital like, “Please. Please, healthcare.” So they get the biopsy and they send me home and they’re saying like, I’ll come back in like a week or so when they have a treatment plan prepared, and so I- It was a very fun week at home ‘cause I was sitting there still not getting treated and I was just like, looking at my tumor like, “Alright, Mr. Tumor. You know, you need me to survive so it’s in your best interest to just- to just chill out for a little bit, you know? We don’t wanna go too crazy.”

And faintly- Faintly if you strain your ears, underneath my skin you can hear:

[Dream’s speedrun music plays for a few seconds]

Techno: Yeah, it was a really fun week. But I did finally get started on chemotherapy, which is a wonderful process. Let me explain chemotherapy. So basically uh, you know how society has progressed for thousands of years of technological and medical innovation? So basically, one of the top three ways we have to fight cancer is uh, for you to go to the hospital and then they uh, plug you into a machine and then they inject poison directly into your veins for several days. That’s uh, that’s one of the best ways we’ve got of going about this and the poison- it’s supposed to kill the cancer - it uh, also kills things like, you know, blood. But ehhh, does anybody really need blood? I feel like it’s pretty optional, you know? Uh- *small laugh* Blood for the Blood God as it were, alright? Uh, I’ll take what I can get.

I, uh, you know, I used to have a channel meme- ‘cause back in the day- you know how my motivation always goes up and down in, like, cycles? I used to have a meme where whenever I’d get super motivated I’d, ya know, I’d start uploading, like crazy. I’d also do things like get a haircut. And, so, I joked that, uh, the less hair I had, the more I’d upload. ‘Cause that’s- the hair was holding me back. And so, if that’s still true, I gotta say, chemotherapy, that’s gotta be daily uploads or something, bro. *laughs* It’s gonna be- Chemotherapy Arc is gonna be fantastic for content.

Well, ya know, after I got diagnosed, I, uh, I’ve been making a lot of phone calls- ya know, informing all of my distant family members about the situation- and, I gotta say, of all the phone calls I’ve made, nobody took the news worse than my health insurance provider. They’ve been inconsolable for weeks. They were like, “You got what!? No!” 

I mean, I had no idea they cared so much. They’ve just- oh my God. I- I think they’re the real victims of this. I mean, could you imagine? Could you imagine? Like, look at me! I was a healthy twenty-two year old, I, like, barely went to the doctor, even for, like, regular appointments. I- I guess I went to the dentist, that’s the one thing I did. I was the freest paycheck they’ve ever seen in their lives. They could’ve been milking money off of me for decades. And then, bam, cancer, bro. *laughs* Oh, those poor guys. 

Uh, the one- the one favor I- I do wanna ask- If you guys could all do one small favor for Technoblade- uh, you know that coronavirus thing you been hearing in the news for the last couple of years? Uh, I want you guys to get rid of it. Just, uh, I want it gone. Just a couple days should be sufficient for you guys to do that.

No, but, seriously. I’m kind of, uh, immunocompromised right now, which means, uh, if a bacteria touches me or, like, a virus touches me, I will explode. So, yeah, uh, I wanna- get the vaccine, is what I’m saying.

I’m gonna get cancelled by the anti-vaxxers for saying it, but it’s such a good vaccine, bro. Pfizer got full FDA approval, this week, for people aged sixteen and up. I think you- you can also get it if you’re eleven to fifteen if you’ve got emergency approval or whatever. Uh, I mean, if you have any concerns, don’t listen to a Minecraft YouTuber, but, please, at least talk to a doctor. Because it’s- it’s so good bro. It’s so good.

The hospitals are currently getting flooded by unvaccinated people. I’m gonna go ahead and speak on behalf of all cancer patients when I say that it is incredibly annoying when the- when the hospitals are getting overworked by people dying of preventable diseases. I’m just saying- we got dibs on those hospital beds. So, ya know, you- you probably don’t- you don’t even want them really. You don’t even want to need them. So, I think the vaccine… what is it? It, like, reduces the chances of you needing hospitalization from Covid by, like, ninety-six percent? I mean, it’s so effective, bro! Come on! I mean, you might still get, like… I mean, you could still catch coronavirus, but, like, the symptoms are gonna be so much milder, bro, I’m just saying. Think about it. Think about it. Talk to a doctor.

I remember when I first went in for chemotherapy, A: I was thrilled, ‘cause, like, yo! Healthcare! Inject it into my veins, bro! Let’s go! But, also, like, the first couple of days were actually pretty chill. I was like, ‘Dang! This is easy, bro!’. And then it kicked in. And then it kicked in. My energy levels were zero; they were absolutely nothing. It’s hard to describe how tired I was, but I think my one example is- so they let me go back home. And after several days of resting, I had a virtual appointment with a doctor. And, so, they were, like, ‘Alright’. And I was just sitting there, like, ‘Wait a second. You guys want me to sit upright in a chair for an hour? What is this, the Olympics, bro? I’m going back to bed! What? What?’ *laughs* ‘Wha? Let’s calm down here. Sitting in a chair? Am I Superman? Like, come one, bro.’

As you can probably tell, I’m feeling a lot better right now. Which is, uh, I think that’s part of the process, is, uh, you get a little bit of recovery time to, uh, ya know, eat a lot of really good food- get the weight back- and get ready for the next round.

And, uh, before we go back for the next round, I’m gonna be playing a lot of video games, uh, making some content, seeing if I can get some more videos prepared, because, uh- I know people are gonna be like, ‘No! Technoblade! You don’t need to make videos for us! Please rest!’

Nah, this isn’t about you, bro. This is about me. I enjoy this, man. This is, like, one of the safest and most fun things I could be doing right now, bro, I’m gonna do it. I don’t know how much content I could make, ‘cause I’m kinda slow, but we’ll see. We’ll see.

I already have a video prepared for next week, uh, September third. You guys are gonna love it. It’s, uh, it was actually- it’s kind of, kind of an old video. It was, uh, from a few months ago, but it’s very good. So, yeah! You guys have that to look forward to. 

And, for the record, I know I’ve been complaining a lot in this video, but I just wanna clarify that the doctors I have are, like, insanely good, bro. I’m gonna be getting some of the finest healthcare in the world, so don’t worry about me too much.

I think the treatment has already started to show some results. I- I mean, it’s been so short of a time, so the results aren’t gonna be insane or anything, but, at the very least, the speedrun music has stopped playing. 

So, yeah, that’s where I’ve been and that’s what I’m gonna be doing for the foreseeable future. Wish me luck, and, uh, wear a mask, I guess. Ya know, standard coronavirus procedures. All that coronavirus stuff and like, getting vaccinated - that goes double for Californians, okay? But it helps everywhere.

Uh, that’s all I’ve got for today. See you guys next time!

[softer-ua]

in regards to what you pointed out a few posts ago, ngl one of my least favorite fandom things is when they make Kaminari the Har Har Stupid Joking ADHD Bi Playboy Who Is Never Serious Trope. like, he's very smart, 'worst in ___ area of a UA course' is very impressive and I don't remember if it even said that or just that he was studying with some other students, worried about his grades overall, calls himself stupid with implied insecurities about it, and didn't think he was very smart compared to the other people in the course. quirk overuse makes him loopy, incoherent, and think everything's funny. and yeah, he's a bit of a flirt and made a few perverted comments and actions that he clearly didn't think through that well. I'm pretty sure he's not ever stated to be bi in the manga because it was written by a coward, so I think people should think more about why they're associating and pairing together the idea of "hot flirty playboy who if legally able would sleep with everyone he meets" with emphasis or joke in the captions of whatever the content is on him being bi. I don't think this is inherently bad, even put together, but the execution feels kind of :/ and shallow. and I mainly just wish they'd pause to consider if there's any reason (subconscious or intentional) why one of those makes them think about the other, and at the very least lean back to see if they're blatantly making those traits centric around each other and tweak how they're showing them a little. Part of this is also because it's basically his fanon sexuality, but then they stick together "oh he's bi and everyone thinks that" and "he's made flirty or perverted comments and actions in canon at some point" and then mentally exaggerate and have this Canon Image of him as *waves hand at above* and I don't think that's happening consciously in most cases but. again. Cookiecutter Bi Party Playboy Who's Made a Date Offer to Everyone In The Building. not a flirty Person or a Playboy who is bi and flirts with more than one genders

I myself headcanon him as adhd and while the exact sexuality depends on my mood I think of/have him as bi in a lot of my content, but it's the same thing with why non adhd people see how he acts and label "adhd!" Especially about comprehension speed and derpy acting and intelligence and attention span jokes/tropes. Again, not bad in and of itself, but the specific parts of his behavior that make them think he's adhd, or that they start making jokes about or Ha Ha ADHD'ing, or that they think is why we project ADHD on him, (which they aren't necessarily wrong about, but like right in a really disrespectful look at how funny this is oh look squirrel way that's only funny when adhd people are doing it and it isn't all mocking like that) when they see other people calling him adhd, are the wrong ones, I think, and it shows in their characterization of him.

I'm not saying that any of those traits are bad in a character, but as a queer adhd girl with very high annual test scores and Gifted Kid Intelligence but extremely poor grades, focus, and brain damage (admittedly nothing like his, it was a longterm passive thing that mainly just made me have a Lot of Really Bad headaches, and closest thing it did to me was make me sluggish and emotional on bad days and also techincally have the potential kill my language bit if left untreated or the surgery messed up, which it didn't, and it won't be a problem again. but even after explaining that it wasn't cancer or any sort of tumor, and after seeing it do very little at all to affect my behavior outside of irritability and performance, because y'know, constant migraines, gone after the surgery but this was before that, Certain People I Was Vaguely Kind Of Acquaintances With started to treat my like I was a fragile glass thing going to to drop dead and revive myself speaking like a comic relief cartoon crazy person at any moment which was. patronizing.) I've since had surgery for, the way the fandom combines them into stereotypes and portrays them really just rubs me the wrong way- "Flirty Bi(tm) Playboy" "Har Har ADHD Can't Focus Or Get Things After They're Explained To Him, He's Still Confused And An Idiot" "Stupid Person With Brain Damage Who Can't Take Care Of Or Think For Themself And Acts Stupid And Funny For People To Laugh At" which tbh is super ableist even and especially when people irl do fit that description, and also reminds me of the Autistic Person Freaking Out And Being Dramatic sense of humor. And I know it's not helped by canon, because it done for comic relief and to limit his powers, but explored more I think it as a limitation could have been used way more interestingly than canon did and also call me biased but that quirk induced brain frying sounds at least as concerning as Izuku's quirk's backlash.

And it's a shame!! Because he's so much more interesting than that! Instead, the fandom gives me the Cookicutter Funny Bi ADHD Flirt Who's An Idiot and I am sad about it.

tbh it reminds me of what happened to percy jackson, esp with the ADHD Idiot Trope thing. which sucks because apparently it originated in the author making up stories around characters like his adhd and dyslexic kid inspired by Greek myths to tell him after running out of actual myths because it was his special interest and he wanted more. and then the series got kind of all over the place and the fandom processed that the adhd and dyslexic main character who does dumb things sometimes but is very combat smart and great at strategizing and leading gets bad grades and has trouble focusing and has, y'know, adhd, and made him the ADHD Idiot and erased his Gifted Kid girl friend's traits and ADHD and dyslexia into No Nonsense Calls Him an Idiot And Thinks He's Stupid And Has To Tell Him What To Do And Manage His Life For Him and honestly that just kind of sucks and it reminds me of what happened to fandom Kaminari. and now that I think of it people have jirou like that around him a lot too.

im fine with you answering this publicly if you want or have something to add but probably tag as ableism and maybe a biphobia mention content warning for people who don't have the energy to deal with thinking about those kinds of negative things rn because I kind of Went Off About It

I love this! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences 💚(and double thank you for tag suggestions)💚

I couldn’t agree more that a lot of fandom has messed up Kami’s character, which is why I’ve kinda been posting more about him cause he’s just stuck in my head.

I think a lot of fandoms have trouble with characters like this, people have a hard time with duality in characters and fast/fun posts are easier to make if you flatten a character down.

The did it to Kami, they did it to Percy, they did it to Ron Weasley, they do it to Thor, the list goes on. If being the Smart One ™️ isn’t your thing and you can be goofy than you get pigeonholed into the idiot trope.

I feel for Kami a lot(probably because I have adhd/brain damage too)

It sucks when you’re smart but it’s not the traditional, measurable kind of smart(even if by national comparison Kami technically is).

I got terrible grades growing up, and I pretty much got the absolute lowest gpa you can get and still graduate. But absolutely no one would have known if I didn’t tell them, because I’m not dumb.

(It’s okay if you are “dumb”, I love me a head empty just vibes friend. You’re 100% valid, stil worthy of joining discussions, and should be listened to and taken seriously. This just isn’t about that tho)

I joke sometimes that I’m clever and witty but not smart, because that’s exactly what it feels like.

I have lots of thoughts and ideas that I think I articulate pretty well, I am excellent at finding the humor in things and expressing it in a way that’s funny to others too, and there is almost zero problems I can’t find a work around. And the people in my life love it, and they love to use it.

But eventually everyone in my life finds out that I’m not smart. They see the way I have to pause to Google how to calculate a tip, that I don’t know the name of all 50 states or even where to find them on a map, or I legitimately just can not spell (if you ever see a post where it looks like I used a weird word choice it’s probably because I tried 4 times and autocorrect+Google couldn’t help me and voice to text wasn’t an option)

No one ever questions my intelligence until they find out about my adhd and/or catch me struggling with it. After the mask comes off it’s like they can’t even hear me anymore, nothing I say could be true or matter because I’m now just the goofy accident prone spacy girl. My family literally calls me Spacy

And ya know what sometimes I just let people think that because it’s easier, it’s easier than explaining that I’m dyslexic and that I didn’t have a single geography/history clas until 10th grade and shocker the capital of Iowa doesn’t come up much by then. And it’s easier for me to laugh off losing my keys again than dwell on the fact that sometimes it feels like I’m losing my marbles.

And I wouldn’t be at all surprised if after this post I get a lot more “fact checkers” and push back on anything else I post.(not talking about people who want to genuinely engage,y’all are always welcome, I’m talking those people who don’t wanna look it up themselves but no longer trust me to know what I’m talking about)

Kami is a sweet brilliant boy. He’s in a nationally high ranking school, he loves the weather channel, he’s careful about his quirk that could easily hurt his friends in combat, he has a very high emotional intelligence level, he wears dorky shirts with electricity puns on them, and he pays attention to his friends and remembers a lot of little things about them.

He wants to be a hero and he takes that seriously, and the series has tried time and time again to tell y’all that smiling and laughter are an important part of that. Kami excels at this part! So what if his history grades don’t rival the top of the class, the top 5 students would struggle hard to do what Kami does.

Iida can’t relax, Momos rather shy, Todo struggles with social cues, Midoriya is canonically not funny, and jfc where to even begin with Katsuki. I’m certain they’ll all grow up to be excellent heros in their own right, but none of them are going to bring the level of joy and camaraderie that Denki can. You can’t test that into someone.

Kami also just notices people differently and has any easy way of joining in with them, he doesn’t struggle approaching Katsuki or Shinso. Sure he doesn’t hit the the nail on the head the same way Deku does but he’s the only one who has the guts and skills to try. Also he’s not that kinda friend, he’s not looking to a save these guys but pal around with them

I think Kami 100% realizes what a special case and tough nut to crack Bakugo is, I don’t think he’s just careless or too dumb realize his life’s at stake or whatever.

I think he’s purposely testing Bakugos boundaries all while trying to not be a threat to Katsukis actual ego and calling Bakugo out when he needs it in a way that not to serious. Kami knows how to be just goofy enough that he’s approachable. He’s also keyed in that the way to Bakugo is through Deku, meanwhile everyone else is stuck believing the opposite.

Kami also realized how important music is to Jiro and saw an opportunity to let her display her skills and combin the two worlds she lives, and he wasn’t afraid to get some back lash from her for it.

Like Deku Kami isn’t afraid to be uncomfortable. You really can’t teach that level of social ease, you can teach the posture and feed people a couple of lines but it’ll never hit the same. Funny approachable people have spent a lifetime learning the craft, usually out of necessity.

It’s actually what gives me the biggest adhd vibes from him, because adhd is (speculated to be) a dopamine deficiency disorder. People with adhd are constantly trying to raise their dopamine levels, and that means looking for praise and reward and nothing makes the human brain light up faster than postative human connections.

Adhd children struggle a lot with connecting with peers and often find making people laugh a fast way into people’s circles and makes it more likely people will overlook being interrupted or spaced out on.

Also adhd people are pretty much forced by their own brain structures to be genuine in all they do, low dopamine levels make it very hard to do things you don’t enjoy because there no promise of dopamine from the activity and you don’t have enough to spare, plus impulsiveness makes it really hard to not show when you do or don’t enjoy something.

I agree that Kami is also painted as overly perverted at times, he’s a little flirty but in a fun casual way but it’s not the foundation of his personality and it’s really mellowed out over the course of the series.

And while I subscribe to the bi hc from his interactions with Jiro and Shinso, we should all be very mindful that we don’t lump these characteristics together. The are separate facets of his personality that are not dependent on each other in anyway.

Kami deserves all the respect and love, I can’t wait to see our electric king again 🖤⚡️🖤

[woogurl]

WOOSAN FANSERVICE

what is real and what is not real? now, a lot of people think woosan is fanservice because how obvious and in your face the are. while i do think they do give very obvious fanservice, i believe with my whole heart that their relationship is very genuine. 

now let’s discuss fanservice, while i do think every company advises their groups to give fanservice and it’s literally ingrained in their minds(kpop idols) on how to give fanservice. whether it’s sexy dancing, acting cute, or passing along a sheet of paper to a member with your mouth, san constantly exposing his sarms.. these are all clear indications of fanservice. i want to be clear, fanservice in my opinion is always obvious. company’s do not emotionally invest in shipping the way you think they do. because why would they invest on giving obvious hints that their idols are dating? especially in a place like korea? their careers would literally be over. it would literally affect everyone in the group, including them and it would not just ruin the group, but any career path they decide to go in in korea. 

so, i’m gonna show you guys the difference between fanservice and genuine reactions when it comes to woosan. 

let’s talk about fanservice.

let’s talk about this whole ass VCR that KQ put together for woosan, it’s clearly fanservice, but i thought it was interesting the way they filmed it. the way this was filmed was like, they’re each others others other half. which we know they often say this a lot. so my question is the company capitalizing on their relationship or are they supporting? could be both? now, i know it sounds crazy as the most important thing for every company is to make money. even though this does not exclude KQ, i’ve noticed that ateez has a lot more freedom than other kpop artist. they let them eat as much as they want, they spoil them with presents all the time which is proven with their vlogs. they give their idols freedom to speak on things, like hongjoong really says what he wants. especially when he wants to give atiny a reality check. lol. they also give them creative freedom, allowing hongjoong to speak on such a heated topic like race during his black and white cover is really something. but are they still a company whose best interest is to make money? yes. let’s talk about some other moments during the tour.

these moments were all during the tour, the woosan umbrellas, the hand holding the making hearts with each other and even the most obvious one of all which is the one where they had to promote the hats for the tour and KQ picked woosan to do it. ya’know, very cute, but also clearly fanservice. lol. though, there’s an interesting moment, which i don’t think is fanservice, and that moment was during the time woo hugged seonghwa and jongho was like san’s gonna get jealous, and san was like no no, even tho he looked so jelly(you can find a lot of these moments on the yt channel skzo planet, credit to them, they’re great.)  let’s continue. let’s talk about the asmr/lie detector video on yt. which i consider less obvious fanservice because people tend to think these moments are not planned. i know why am i taking the best moments awayyyyyyy. ;c

it’s clear that KQ understands that woosan is the most popular ship, because they have them go on these programs together which highlights their chemistry and interactions together. i think a lot of these moments here are fanservice but i also think they’re genuine. like their moment afterward where they have a deep conversation about their feelings. while i do think the company sets these up to capitalize off their relationship, i don’t think it’s to the point where they give them a script to read and say, “hey, memorize this script” no no. lmfao. if there’s one thing the company’s understand completely is that fans want real human beings. not robots. which is why vlive exist. it’s also one of the reasons kpop is preferred from western pop. they understand that fans love real people and genuine reactions between their fans. so you have to remember that. i think they just seized an opportunity to capitalize off their ship or support, who knows? they seem very grateful towards their company.

here’s the lie detector one, obviously, the company sets these up. which i think is ultimately a fanservicey move. but again, i don’t think the company gives them any script to read these are just their genuine feelings. in which san said woo is his other half and that he would literally give his kidney away for him. the company sets these circumstances up, but they do this to highlight their relationship. the company has them do many things together, but i honestly do not think they force them to pretend to act like bestfriends. i mean that’s just outrageous. lol. 

yup, i have to go there, yes, i’m going to take away everything you’ve ever loved away from you, because this is obvious fanservice. the stares, the sexy sexy dancing tHE STARES. listen, these people are well-trained professionals, never forget that. they know what fans want. while i do think this dance is probably the most common of fanservice for woosan stans i don’t think the reactions are fanservice. there’s just some moments where woo gets really shy and flustered. because i do think san makes him genuinely shy because this boy can be very tense and reek of pure devilish and demonic behavior. woo is someone who has a very commanding presence and demanding personality, and he seems fearless and shameless at times, but there are plenty of moments of san making woo completely flustered and nervous with a simple look. which i think is genuine since discomfort is very noticeable because it’s almost always an immediate reaction to something.

now let’s talk about genuine interactions (a lot of these were probably mentioned in my woosan relationship analysis).

let’s talk about their relationship in general, outside the cameras, that already ultimately prove that their relationship isn’t fanservice. now something that we learned a while back during the christmas vlive with the woosansang drama(i’ve done a post about this). is that woo and san hang out so much with each other that the other members are jealous. obviously, this has nothing to do with the company. they just genuinely hang around each other because they like each other. we know this to be true because the members explicitly say this and have mentioned before. i also did a post where woo mentioned san at least 5-7 times during a vlive with jongho. 

they literally spent the whole day together guys, like you just don’t spend that much time with somebody you don’t like. there’s a bunch of kpop groups with ships who don’t even hang out in real life. they’re literally hanging out with members you least expect them to be. lmfao. it just shows you that the reality is that most kpop ships are not real. because to me, it’s obvious that they aren’t that close irl and that’s the most important factor here. i wanna talk about some other important moments in the woosansang vlive.

there talking about real circumstances here, and yeosangs grievances with woo, ‘cause he feels sad that yeosang doesn’t hang around him anymore. this happened a few months ago. so don’t worry.

mingi said that this was a private conversation that he had with yeosang, so again these are private matters. just in case you don’t know company’s do not like discord in the group, which is why they freaked out during the recent vlive when mingi didn’t have yeosang’s number even though i don’t even have my siblings number. loool.

this is what yunho said when woo wanted him to go to the bathroom with him, and he was sulky ‘cause he only hung out with san. now let’s move onto how clingy they are. 

let’s start with san’s vlog, yes, i said san’s vlog(side eye’s woo). 

this vlog, that was supposed to be san’s, included moments with woo, more so than the other members. they even ate together, and they often do eat together from what i can tell. woo says he goes out to eat with san to relieve stress. he also called him during that time on vlive with yeosang to go out with him. which is why i thought the call was genuine, because they always seem to eat together. i mean the call wasn’t even on speaker and the fact that woo used aegyo with him is also telling to me. do you think the company sets them on dinner dates to please the fandom? lol. no there are other moments of them clinging and you can find them throughout my other posts. but i just wanted to stress that they’re not clingy for fanservice, they’re this way because they’re naturally close and intimate in real life. i have never seen a kpop ship share this type of intimacy.

here’s another moment, where they went out to eat together, mind you they were asking seonghwa if he was happy to join them as if they were an already married couple. i wanna add the moments here with seonghwa wanting to join woosan, and them being like “no” or “we’ll think” about it, but i’ll leave that for my woosanhwa analysis. 

let’s talk about the fact that they created their own ship name, and them being happy about it because i honestly don’t think that if they were not okay with it and the company was forcing it, they wouldn’t milk it for all it was worth.

let’s talk about the ship name and the thousands of other stuff the’ve come up with. could the company have come up with woosan, possibly, but you can’t convince they sat a round table discussing the thousands of handshakes they’ve come up with. you also can’t convince me that the company made woo go online to find a special meanings for a friend that stays with you forever(amicus ad aras). as i said before the company isn’t as invested as you all may think they are. the second one is literally them introducing themselves as woosan to some poor person recording them. like you can’t tell me that they aren’t proud to be woosan. now i know a lot of people get annoyed on twitter because some fans don’t know how not to mention woo without san when he’s doing a solo live (death stare at those fans). but the thing is it just goes to show that they’re comfortable enough with the ship that people can tell that it’s genuine. are there some moments where they’re uncomfortable sure? but is it the company’s fault. i don’t think so, i think it’s the fans(some shippers) that require them not to be their own person. esp woo. 

the stares, to me, the eyes never lie, and most people realize this, even people who’ve only had a gentle bump into the fandom notice the way the look at each other. even in the recent vlive, but you can tell woo tends to avoid san’s stare. even though woo wants to seem comfortable around san to not make it seem obvious, it’s very obvious that he makes an effort not to. i literally had an online friend that ships vkook ask if they were close during the recent vlive because woo never looked at san. xD lol. which is another strong point i want to make. while there are some moments of woo clinging to san on camera. most of the time he does it off camera. i don’t think the company asked to look like they were in love but here we are. one last thing is...

is their trip to jeju, in which seonghwa coicidentally went as well. now this is a family vacation where all the members went with their respective families. now, a lot of you may not know but during a fansign woosan planned a trip to jeju. seonghwa just happened to be there with his family as well. lol. i wanted to mention this because obv the company doesn’t really have any say in the matter. but also because i mean they’re on vacation together. like do you know how many groups are desperate to be on vacation away from each other? lmfao. like nah woosan planned to go on vacation together. while seonghwa talked a lot about it, woo did not and continued brushing it off which makes me wonder....

anyway, that’s it.

oh, here’s a bonus for you greedy ones.

i wanna mention a moment that i thought was interesting. which was a game they played on kbs a few moments ago. they were given a penalty to kiss each other. which is obv fanservice, but i do think reactions matter. as soon as it’s mentioned san’s eyes automatically go to woo? he doesn’t have much time to think about it, his body just reacts, why woo tho hmmm san? 

now, i wanna also mention the moment after, which a lot of people were confused by. like why is he touching himself like that so suddenly? lol. so what i think is happening is that san is “preening”. he’s experiencing nervous excitement and he’s stroking himself. when your attracted to someone your skin becomes sensitive. esp your lips and it feels good to touch. 

woo also whined and hit mingi out of jealousy. lmfao. 

anyway. that’s it.

[isthisthingeven0n]

toxic : d.d

brief summary: you’ve officially lost all of your friends and are struggling to deal with life without them. but as the vs girls help you out, you learn how toxic your old friends actually were

word count: 1k  requested: yes, by a lovely anon. i’m sorry this happened to you irl, but i hope this provides comfort in some way! warnings: some mentions of toxic friends, but other than that just fluff

* I just wanna say my requests are closed for a while! I know you guys wanna send ideas in, but can you hold off for a week or so if that’s okay - just so I can catch up :) *

* masterlistin’ / masterlistin’ 2.0

(everything on my blog is my own writing. if it is shared on another page or website know it isn’t me. all rights reserved. - i have to start doing this as I had some shit on my other blog with plagiarism)

It had been a week since you had your argument with your friends, and this was one you weren’t sure could be redeemable. 

Lying in bed, all you could think about were the words they said. The harsh things that left their lips with too much ease as everything was revealed. The bitter truth, painful secrets that you’ve not been apart of and events they’ve planned without you. You listened to it all, feeling them ganging up and belittling you until you fought back and walked out. 

David has tried to provide you with comfort, but it’s not the same. For the first time in your life, you don’t have a girl friend to turn to, ask her about the things you’d never discuss with David. But now, all of it is just remaining bottled up inside, desperate to be burst open and poured out. 

Inside of your bedroom, the blinds remain drawn and all the photographs that lined your shelves have been turned face down. It was the first thing David noticed when he came over that evening after the argument. You were hiding away from him, from them and from yourself. All you told him was that it was all a lie, those years of friendship turning sour in a matter of minutes.

Sitting in your living room, David remains on the phone, talking to Natalie in a hushed voice. “She’s just not opening up to me, Nat,” David explains as he hugs one of your pillows close to his chest, glancing back to your closed door. 

Natalie sighs on the other end of the line. “She’s not going to tell you about girl problems Dave,” Natalie states. “Y/n needs girl time, and as much as she loves you, you can’t be one of her girlfriends as well as her boyfriend.” 

Nodding to himself, David runs his hand through his hair in frustration. “How’d I get her out of her room though?” David questions, feeling useless. 

Looking back at the others in David’s house, Natalie smiles to herself. “I’ve got an idea. Tell Y/n to come over to the house tonight alright? I’ve got some phone calls to make.” Natalie tells David quickly before hanging up, leaving David with no time to question.

*

“Dave, I just wanna watch a movie,” You mutter as you climb out of the Tesla and open the front door. 

Wrapping his arm around your shoulder, David sighs. “And we will. I’ve just gotta finish editing first, okay?” 

Pushing the front door open you jump back into David as you look around, seeing cushions and blankets draped everywhere along with fairy lights.

“Who broke into your house and made it Urban Outfitters?” You question, glancing back at David who tries his best to suppress his smile from you as he shrugs his shoulders. 

Rising from the sofas, Natalie along with Carly, Erin, Corinna, Mariah and Kristen smile. “Hey, Y/n!” Mariah calls out, walking over to you first and bringing you into a hug. “Welcome to girls night.” She beams and you look up at David who eagerly nods to you. 

“And I’m a part of girls night?” You ask half-heartedly, the tone of your voice breaking David’s heart as all the girls move closer and huddle you into their group. 

“Of course! We gotta have girl nights more often,” Carly speaks up as you sit down between Natalie and Corinna, pulling a blanket tighter around you as the fake fire plays on the TV. 

Standing back, David watches as you blend in seamlessly to the girl's group and watches as your smile slowly begins to reappear. Without saying a word, he creeps into his room and continues to edit, letting you have a needed girl night. 

After a few hours, David removes his headphones to hear the sound of laughter echoing through the house. Specifically, the sound of your laughter. 

“And then he just jumped down the stairs, clearly underestimating how many steps there were.” You giggle through your story as Kristen wipes her eyes. 

“Oh my god, he really can be stupid, can’t he?” Erin speaks up and you all nod in agreement, feeling Natalie wrap her arms around you as you lean back into her. 

Looking around at all the girls and the smiles, you slowly start to remember how you felt mere hours ago. 

“What’s on your mind, Y/n?” Corinna questions, shifting to face you as she leans her head on the sofa. 

You hum to yourself as you sit upright. “It’s going to sound stupid,” You mutter before you continue. “but I just realised that my old friends weren’t exactly supportive, like, at all.” 

All the girls listen as you explain details about how they treated you, the plans you were ‘forgotten’ from and the private conversations without you. 

Natalie is the first to interject. “I’m sorry, but those girls sound like bitches.” She states boldly, taking you back. “What gave them the right to isolate you? It’s just shitty behaviour.” 

“Yeah, I mean, we’ve all had toxic friends but most people grow out of that in their twenties.” Erin comments and you nod along.

“Guess the girls didn’t get the memo.” You mutter, hearing Corinna cover her mouth as she lets out a short laugh. 

“You’ve got us now,” Corinna nudges you and you look at all of them, seeing smiles on their faces as they all agree. “so don’t worry ‘bout toxic bitches anymore.” 

David leans against the wall outside of his bedroom, listening in on the conversation as his heart swells. 

“Thank you, guys,” You say as you all curl up to watch a movie and slowly one by one you fall asleep.

As your eyes begin to droop, you feel a pair of arms wrap around you and help you up. You cling onto David sleepily as he helps you to bed. 

“M sleepy.” You mumble into him as you curl up, clinging to his waist as you snuggle closer.

David chuckles as his hand rests in your hair. “Did you have a good girls night?” He whispers, feeling you nod against him.

“Thanks for dragging me out tonight,” You yawn as you close your eyes again. “I think I’ve finally found genuine friends.” 

[thedreadvampy]

this is kind of a Hot Take (and rlly long) so don't feel pressured to post this

also no one cancel thedreadvampy over posting this ask if she does these are my beliefs and not necessarily hers kthx

I'm honestly really uncertain why people are so militant about aphobia on this site. like obviously aphobes are Not Nice People and it's good to be against their shitty beliefs. But I've been on this site for ~5 years and I have never, in my memory, seen an aphobe (with the few exception of like. literal nazis but their main label isn't aphobe). I have seen a lot of people who were then harassed/cancelled being called aphobes in addition to a lot of other things like (homophobic, racist, abusive, etc) but as far as I bothered to figure out, the label of aphobe came from one specific phrase they used or one post they reblogged (though I can't be bothered to Deep Research so I genuinely don't know on this one).

(I have seen casual acephobia in my own personal life. however, that is not Tumblr.)

I have seen scores of posts along the lines of "aphobes are bad" "aphobes dni" etc etc.

Maybe it's just who I follow, but it seems like there's a lot more anti-aphobe sentiment than aphobes. Which is good! It's the goal! However, I think it's possible that that anti-aphobe sentiment has not become "look how few aphobes there are! yay!" it's "there are hidden aphobes all around us and you have to interrogate everyone to know who to ostracize"

You're a fairly popular figure in the mechs/tma fandoms and the thing about Tumblr is that it hates popular figures. And more than that, you're visible, so a) people will see if you answer a bunch of questions about ace things, and b) you exist in everyone's brains more than little blogs.

to be clear. to be absolutely crystal 100% clear: I am not saying that people got together and went "let's interrogate all the popular blogs so we can pretend theyre acephobic and have fun bullying people," I'm saying it's possible that what was once a positive emotion, "we don't tolerate intolerant people" has possibly, in some people, morphed into a fear that intolerant people are hiding all around them. And frankly, that fear can be understandable (not right, not kind, but understandable), especially if they face hate irl and their only outlet for emotion is tumblr. shit, Tumblr is one of my emotional outlets.

I don't think it's bad to engage with these people in good faith, or to answer questions, but I think it's possible that some of them are coming from the "intolerant people are hiding all around us and must be ferreted out" kind of perspective instead of a "hey I wanna check that this person isn't an intolerant asshole before following/supporting them" or "I want to engage with a person who may be ignorant" (I'm not attempting to imply that you're ignorant). Im not saying "not answer their questions" this is just, like, my opinion. I'm not making a lot of actionable statements here.

that's my whole Hot Take, hopefully I made some kind of sense, I just honestly feel kind of mad on your behalf that you have to go thru an interrogation to be Not Tumblr Cancelled. If people were generally having a nuanced discussion then that would be fine but you've already stated several times that ace/aspec people are valid and deserve love and respect etc etc. which as an aspec person makes me feel that your blog is safe for me, and I don't feel the need to play 20 Questions Are You Sure You Aren't An Aphobe

I don't know how much of this I entirely agree with and I refuse to think

(not about this. just in general. today I refuse to think)

my main response to this is:

a) I think my confusion is I have less than 1500 followers I think I always assumed the You Are Now A Public Figure People Have Opinions On mark had to be higher than that but this appears to have been a totally incorrect assumption

b) I don't feel like. a threat of Cancellation except inasmuch as I don't want Kofi to eventually get any kind of kickback if I turn out to be or people understand me to be a shitty person. I didn't ask for a platform or do anything to deserve it, if I get distressed it's largely just that I don't want to be a shitty person! and I have a whole thing about. I don't ever feel secure in my ability to say I'm NOT being shitty so like if enough people start saying AH RUTH THEDREADVAMPY IS A GARBAGE PERSON I definitely do stay wondering if they're right even if I think my position is morally defensible. like I'm very easy to get into a spiral of I think that's highly defensible but maybe I'm just in denial/trying to cover my ass/self-justifying so I can avoid accountability/etc. like this is a thing and it's why I'm very uncomfortable with absolutism, a lot of my family in my experience have a phenomenal capacity for denial and for rewriting reality into something they Fully Believe despite all the evidence, and so I'm really conscious of the possibility that I'm doing that and I wouldn't. know about it. it's a really really powerful subconscious force and that's been like. a big fear point for me my whole life. that I could be being a cunt and be obviously being a cunt and be so deep in denial that it just doesn't register at all. this is like. the thing I fear most. So I DO want people to tell me if I'm being a dick because the only way I can 100% know I'm not just in denial is if I can trust people to call me in, but I really, really, really struggle with when people say I'm being a dick and I disagree, not because they're harassing me necessarily but just because it really sends me into a spiral of doubting my own ability to be sure about like, anything. at all. it's a whole unreality thing which is, uh, it's MINE to deal with, it's not something I would want to put on other people, but it very much does affect my responses and I didn't mean to write this but hey, no therapy last week and it shows.

oh also c) on reflection I don't agree that there's very little aphobia on Tumblr (although as I've said I'm not ace or aro so my opinion should hold little weight) but I do think that there's a lack of give and take, not just in aphobia stuff but also in general, in these kinds of conversations, like sometimes yeah people are actively hateful but I don't think there's any room for misunderstanding, poor phrasing, or questioning, and I understand that that's coming from a really genuine place of pain and devaluation of aro/ace experiences but I also think people jump straight to assuming active malice very fast, and often explicitly consider "actively not stating an opinion" to be an offence on the level of "actively staying a harmful opinion," which I think is unhelpful. like. we learn by listening, there are times in my life where I would have been lying at the time to agree unconditionally with something like "I think we should believe survivors" (I was a 2000s teen who hung out with 4channers) but I also was conscious of the harm that it would do to publicly debate from the perspective that No We Shouldn't Believe Survivors, so you know I waited and I listened and I thought about it and ultimately I came to a position I could say with my chest. but like. The online social more that you Have to have an opinion and I Have to hear it to prove that you have the Right opinion is. uncomfortable to me to say the least. I don't think it gives you much room to learn and improve, especially given that everything on the internet is permanent and often treated as if it forever reflects your current beliefs. like I have changed my opinions So Much since I was 16 and if someone went back through a tag on my blog to Prove My Bad Opinions they could paint pretty much any picture they wanted with 12 years of changing opinions.

anyway yeah like. no I don't fully agree with this ask but I appreciate the alternate perspective. I also did not mean to write another wall of text I'm just very much In A Brain Hole today and sometimes words Just Happen.