#went into his character trial blind and this was all i could think about

[aphel1on]

[ca-suffit]

No offense to Sam but the way he's been talking about Lestat lately is ... troubling, to say the least. He did an interview with Screenrant and he legit said that Lestat's abuse of Louis was "probably not as violent an act as Louis made it out to be in season 1." That's a direct quote, by the way. I understand that a lot of Lestat fans have their rose-colored glasses on and they're not the only ones, sure. However, when you have the actor saying things like this, are we really surprised Lestat fans are just as willing to turn a blind eye and act as if he's this innocent beacon of sunshine whose word is the gospel truth? I can't include links but you can search up Sam Reid and Screenrant on Google and the article should pop up.

ya, I've seen that quote (article and text at the bottom of this post).

if this fandom was full of critical thinkers the way ppl always luv to claim, we'd be able to discuss these things and even say maybe these actors say dumb, harmful shit sometimes. assigning sam reid the new role of anne rice stand in, coming from ppl who already have an unhealthy relationship with her, usually going back decades, is why trying to do anything here is p useless.

this fandom will never know peace bcuz instead of focusing on the fact harm was done, racist fandom has to keep digging and victim blaming black characters bcuz how could the white character do this, it's ooc, it's bad writing, it's not what anne rice would have done (except she did lol but there's always an excuse for why that doesn't count).

there's a lot of things the fandom could be talking about but instead it's gonna be tossing this quote up forever as "the truth" and it's gonna be like 50 year olds in the fandom doing it too. embarrassing tbh.

One of my favorite moments in the episode is Lestat apologizing over the cloud gift move from last season. It's powerful and moving, and yet so frustrating because the trial carries on like nothing after. Can you talk about playing that scene with Jacob?

Sam Reid: Yeah, I think we kind of had to make sure it [landed]. I don't want it to be like, "Yeah, but actually, it's not such a big deal. He apologized, and it's over now," which is what Claudia said. It's probably not as violent an act as Louis made it out to be in season 1, but I think the fact that Lestat did something to him that is so out of his nature was driven by the extent to which they love each other.

Lestat was driven to the point that he didn't fully even recognize himself, and he saw from his own hands an action that was unforgivable. You've physically hurt the person that you love so much that you no longer feel like you deserve to be with them. He knew that, and I think the thing is that he realized that as soon as he's done that, he also has to die.

In terms of working on that scene with Jacob, I think it's important for us to acknowledge that this is not the end. Do you know what I mean? This is not the finality of that beat. Louis doesn't forgive him at that moment, and Lestat sees that. He can't look at him that much during the trial, but there's another moment when Lestat looks at him and all he sees is pure hate in Louis' gaze. "He's never going to forgive me." But he doesn't flip back to just doing the trial — he still wants to save him, you know what I mean? He's got to just hurry the proceedings up, get through the f--king thing, and stick to his script.

That definitely is also when I feel like we get into that silhouetted, mirage version of the trial. I think that's when we're in full-blown POV bulls--t of how it actually went.

[wc-confessions]

This is a very long rant. There might be spelling, grammar errors, or random words there because of autocorrect, and I might miss them since I'm a bit blind and dyslexic.

The way the fandom instantly chalks up female character hate to misogyny is so damn ridiculous, and both shows people here don't know what that word means, and they also don't actually give a damn about the actual misogyny that women suffer if someone hating or slightly disliking a female character sets them off. The prime examples of characters that people get called misogynists for are Mapleshade, Squirrelflight, and, surprisingly, Frecklewish. I can guarantee you that nobody who hates or dislikes these characters is misogynist, and it's rare that you'll actually find a Warriors fan who is blatantly misogynist while understanding how and why they are. For one, not everyone here understands what things are and aren't misogynist, and to stick that label to them for zero reason is super shitty. There are many reasons why people hate the characters listed:

Mapleshade: Generally, she is just dumb as hell, cruelly used Birchface's name to cover up her lies,showed zero remorse when brought to trial, and stupidly crossed a flash-flooded river when there was a bridge (already somewhat flooded when she got there, if I remember). But if not, it was still heavily raining. Blame everyone else for the things she caused and did; she killed Spottedleaf (this is why some people hate her, yes, lol, and frecklewish, and attempted to on Reedshine). And for grooming kids, and for those who will argue that she isn't, you're instantly wrong, and simply reading the books while also looking at the definitions of that word will prove you're wrong. I am saying this as a victim of this topic. Crookedstar and Tigerstar are her victims. While Crookedkit was vulnerable and tossed aside, she took advantage of this and later went in to exploit him, emotionally abuse him, and cause psychological turmoil and distress. She later went on to do this to Tigerkit. Since birth, she has been inside his head, telling him what to do and raising him to be the cold killer he is. She even admits in his novella that she's walked with him since birth. While her grooming isn't sexual, it's still extremely gross. I can't speak for everyone who hates her, but this is the biggest reason I don't like her.

Frecklewish: Yes, while she was definitely grieving, and while Mapleshade was definitely a ass and in the wrong for her lies, Frecklewish is far from innocent. She never truly loved those kits and only saw them as extensions of her late brother once the truth was revealed that they weren't really related and instead were the kin of his killer. That's what caused her to turn on them so quickly; her "love" was purely conditional. She then went on to dehumanize and call literal babies slurs, tell them that they don't deserve to be warriors, and later call for their exile without a second thought. No matter how angry you are, don't do that to children. Mapleshade definitely deserved her wrath, but not those kids. And it just gets worse as she watches them drown. I don't care how much people try to argue about it; she did. Her story directly lines up with what Nettlepaw tells Mapleshade. What Mapleshade thinks isn't a misunderstanding; this isn't something she came up with herself because Nettlepaw literally told her this. However, everything else Mapleshade says and thinks is totally unreliable. Frecklewish also doesn't at all deny that she watched them die and instead says, "I thought they'd be saved.". Her seeing the Riverclan patrol isn't an excuse for why she couldn't have gotten more help. Those kits aren't even half the size of a medium-sized rock, so how could three RC cats find them in flooded waters? And before anyone says it, nobody is saying that she should've just jumped in; you're purposefully missing the point. It's a fact that she and Oakstar played a large role in why they met their fate the way they did.

Squirrelflight: I can't actually give a reason why people would hate her because I don't care enough about her and because I don't usually read the main books. However, it's usually for reasons that don't even relate to Bramblestar. People are often called misogynists for hating her without anyone bothering to know why. Also, no, hating her because you like Bramblestar doesn't make you a misogynist. Not how that works. Now maybe if you denied that he abused her, then yeah, that's misogyny, but if you're a normal Bramblestar fan, then no, you're not misogyny.

And to add on

Nightcloud is a big one I see people also get called misogynists for. It's important to remember that not a lot of people read books and heavily rely on maps or other people's opinions and interpretations to get information. Let's not forget that the maps that woobify Crowfeather and demonize her play a huge part in why Nightcloud is treated the way she is. So I think it's majorly unfair to just label a bunch of Nightcloud haters who probably don't know the actual story as being misogynistic. Realistically, Nightcloud is just a lady. She didn't do anything wrong other than being overly jealous. Also, no, she did not hit Crowfeather; she just pulled him away. (Stop labeling her as an abuser, goddamn.)

I'm anyway done, but I just wanted to say that I think it's incredibly stupid to see people throwing around this word. I just hope you know that if you're randomly calling people misogynists for no reason, then you're part of the problem, and you're just another toxic asshole. Please fix yourself or get out the fandom.

.

[tarisilmarwen]

Rebels Rewatch: "Heroes of Mandalore"

Some familiar TCW faces as we close up the darksaber arc.

Live reaction version.

Sabine's transformation into co-protagonist is nearly complete, as it's the end of her darksaber arc that starts us out this season.

Also, you know, the Season Four trailers framing the whole of Rebels as the story of "A boy who was lost and a girl who was broken".

Not that I minded as it meant that Ezra and Sabine would be spending a lot of screentime together. :D

After not really touching on it in a while, Fenn Rau's courtesy hand on Kanan's shoulder to let him know he's signaled a stop was a nice little way of demonstrating Kanan's blindness and the accommodations other characters make for him.

Ezra finally has that jetpack he's been wanting lol.

I reserve the right to be giddy about the fact that Ezra is literally Sabine's right-hand man. And also that she painted him another Scout Trooper helmet.

Kanan showing off with the Force Leaps there, which Fenn Rau lampshades.

And now we're introduced to Tiber Saxon, Gar's less interesting more fanatical brother.

A+ mid battle banter. I do distinctly remember being delighted by all the playful quipping and snarking back and forth when this first aired, and it's still cute now.

Once again all it takes for Ezra to surrender is someone threatening Sabine. <3

I... I'm sorry, apparently I'm going to be Obnoxious Obsessed Sabezra Shipper for this rewatch, let me attempt not to comment on just them and their stupid faces and every time they interact.

Lol is one of the Kryze Mandos Naruto-running?

That was an awfully quick search of the base there, guys.

"Bo-Katan was made regent by the Jedi before the end of the Clone War." For all of what, one day? Lol.

I do have quibbles about Bo-Katan's characterization here in Rebels, at times it seems like it's assuming more character development than we actually see happen, when we eventually get back around to telling the story of the Siege of Mandalor.

I do find it kind of funny that SO many people were expecting Sabine to have an arc where she becomes Mand'alor when literally the second episode she actually had the darksaber she was immediately like, "Nope it's not me, I'm just holding it for whoever will be the true leader." Course I guess they expected that in this episode she would take up the mantle.

No dice and frankly I am not interested in that kind of plotline unless Ezra gets to be an accessory to it. (I uh... I have a thing about the Royal Maiden/Steadfast Knight dynamic.)

Ezra playing therapist again. <3 Nice to see it go over better than in "Trials of the Darksaber", Sabine is learning to be more open with her thoughts and feelings.

Kanan attempting the playful teasing banter he usually has with Hera (that Ezra and Sabine are suddenly very adept at now, what) but she shuts it down. This is another quibble I have about Season Four, I do not understand Kanan and Hera's sudden awkwardness and Will They/Won't They? when previously it seemed like they had been depicted as already a settled matter. Not really overt but comfortable and resolved. This weird walkback feels like a way to add drama and tension to Kanan's eventual death, and I really don't think it needed that?

The way I usually reconcile it is by headcanoning that Hera conceived Jacen in the three weeks between S3 and S4 and she's been standoffish and cagey about it because she doesn't quite know know yet and she's being anxious and worried and preoccupied and prickly as a result. I headcanon this because it's been my own experience when the husband and I have, ahem, not exactly been careful and had not had more kids in the plans.

Anyway.

Sorry is this not how the scene went? Lol.

Alrich immediately knows it's his baby girl aww.

Huh, I'd forgotten the side pockets on these transports could be used to stick extra troopers. Neat.

This is pretty nicely staged, a lot of fast smooth movement with the jetpacks, Sabine using the bike as cover was a clever touch. The speed of everything is really on display.

Love this hero cue when Kanan ignites his saber and enters the fray. Every character gets a nice little moment of being awesome.

Even Chopper gets to be a flying menace, clonking that one Trooper on the head with a blaster lol.

IF NO SUPPOSED TO SHIP LITERALLY WHAT EVEN IS THIS "SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND." MOMENT?

And ooop, show just stabbed me with Sabine's frantic worried, "Ezra! Get out of there!" and my brain went straight to the finale you guys really need to stop doing this to me.

<3333333

Little shit even gets in a cheeky, "Was wondering where you were." I love him.

And Kanan and Ezra look so happy for her awww.

Tiya's acting when Sabine realizes her weapon is on the battlefield is very nice. Sabine sounds horrified and heartbroken and scared.

Sabine's theme drawing out in long slow mournful notes here.

I'm actually really glad they didn't kill off Ursa and Tristan. It would have meant basically nothing since neither of them were developed enough characters for us to care and also I really didn't need another How To Train Your Dragon 2 Stoick/Valka gutpunch in my life.

Never kill off your characters unless you can tell more story with them gone than you can with them there.

Sabine's showing more emotion than we've seen out of her since "Trials of the Darksaber" oof.

Sabine getting a little bit distracted in her anger and grief and needing a nudge from Kanan. She's going to struggle with this a bit this episode.

It's cute how Bo-Katan kind of implies that Ezra should fly out with her to take down the TIEs.

This poor boy looks so consternated with all these crazy Mando shenanigans lol.

Yeah no, watching the Dutchess in action does not get any better.

Thrawn being all Villain Admirer of the Spectres again, while also picking at Tiber Saxon's logic here. It's basically the same logic and line of objections he has to the Death Star, that it's a bloated and inefficient waste of resources and will create more Rebels than it can kill. Thrawn is trying to point out, "Yeah so this literally insults the honor of a hot-headed quarrelsome proud warrior race culture how exactly is this supposed to quell them from rebelling again?"

Awww.

Ezra immediately gearing up to fight Bo-Katan to protect Sabine. <3 And then the other Clan Kryze members a minute later. <3

"Down boy."

You know something I haven't commented on is just how washed out Mandalore looks. Like, Lothal is covered with brown plains too but there's so much more life and color in them. Like the difference between Kansas farmlands and a nuclear testing site.

There's some kind of unspoken history here between Rau and Bo-Katan in the way they interact which... intrigues me. They talk like old friends and I would definitely like to know more about how they know each other.

With Bo-Katan's little speech here, I do see how people were expecting Sabine to be set up to be Mand'alor.

Something darkly ironic in Sabine naming a superweapon after a pacifist.

Tiber channeling his best Imperial fanatic here. What an ass.

This shot was apparently a visual shoutout to a similar one in TCW's "The Lawless", with Obi-Wan Kenobi. Not the last time Ezra and Obi-Wan would be paralleled.

Tiber really shouldn't have let Sabine have access to her own weapon, that was a stupid move.

Ooooh there's more on that theme of "We make deals with the Empire to survive." Tiber honey that never works out for anyone.

Sabine modifies the weapon all right, but Tiber's eagerness to use it after she warned him not to is hoist by own petard poetry.

BOY IT SURE IS A GOOD THING SABINE DIDN'T SET THE WEAPON TO FULL POWER OUT OF REVENGE. JUST IMAGINE WHAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED IF SHE LET HER ANGER DRIVE HER TO DO THAT?

OH WAIT I DON'T HAVE TO IMAGINE, TVTROPES HAS ME COVERED.

THANKS TVTROPES. THANKS FOR THAT BIT OF FRIDGE HORROR.

Sabine does still have a very mean vengeful streak in her even after all her years living with Jedi so it takes a bit of prodding from Bo-Katan (of all people) to talk her down from this wrath moment.

We can count that whole Star Destroyer as Sabine's kill right? Lol, she's catching up to you Chopper, better murder some more capital ships.

"The Empire will send everything they have to crush Mandalore." Haaaaaaaaaaaaa. *cringes in The Mandalorian's account of The Purge*

Honestly I think the reason they had Sabine give Bo-Katan the darksaber was because they didn't want to have to write around Sabine being absent again lolol. Having to stay and be the leader of a whole planet would have definitely taken Sabine away from the front lines of the wider Rebellion and more importantly taken her away from her crew and family and like hell were they going to let the Spectres go back to Lothal without her.

Ngl, I ship it a little bit.

This could have been a little more earned, not gonna lie.

IF NO SUPPOSED TO SHIP LITERALLY WHAT EVEN IS THIS??!!?

I'll be honest I'm not really invested in the Mandalorian side of things in fandom so while a lot of these action sequences were pretty cool visually I didn't have much emotional connection unless characters I already knew and loved were onscreen. I'm at least happy we got the arc done and over with and cleared up the rest of the season for other, more interesting (to me) things.

I've got no real thoughts on Bo-Katan, she's fine in this episode but like I said, inconsistent with her other appearances, I don't mind her being leader and having the darksaber but I would have liked her characterization to have more of a coherent throughline from TCW to Rebels to The Mandalorian.

Let's be honest I'm mostly just here for the Ezra/Sabine bits. <3

Next up, field trip with Crazy Uncle Saw!

[givemeanaccountalready]

Mahiru 14, Kotoko 8, Haruka 7

7. Favorite relationship with another character if they weren’t in Milgram, the way you imagine it would like them to be.

Hmmm… probably Haruka and Fuuta would be the most likely to happen and I do like their interactions. It’s been implied in the timeline conversations and in Fuuta’s interrogation questions, that the two of them hung out quite a bit before Kotoko’s attacks (as liberally as I can use that phrase since they are in prison with limited options). Fuuta says that he looks out for Haruka since Trial 1 Haruka is very timid and shy. And I think that if Haruka had been voted guilty during Trial 1, he would have latched onto Fuuta even harder. What with Fuuta’s deteriorating mental health, he probably wouldn’t be the best option for Haruka, but Fuuta does treat him like a peer on equal footing rather than a child and cannot keep his mouth shut, so he would push back on Haruka’s Es/you are my real mom shit. Fuuta probably has his own mommy issues, but he has a better idea on what relationships look like than Haruka so it’s the “I lost my glasses with the coke bottle lenses” leading the blind instead of the blind leading the blind.

But outside Milgram? I think the two would have had a good friendship. Maybe not the healthiest because of their own issues, but I think they could help each other become better people. With Haruka, Fuuta could learn to soften his edges, or at least learn to show more patience and grace to those who make mistakes (which seems to be why he went after Killcheroy? I’m not totally sure on what Killcheroy did to be gifted internet cancellation). With Fuuta, Haruka could learn to be more assertive and sure of himself. I would like for this blue blorbo to have a hobby that doesn’t involve sleeping or killing animals and children. Fuuta defines friendship as two or more people getting hype over the same things, so I can see him introducing Haruka to video games, Twitter, and soccer and seeing what sticks. Haruka needs some positive attention to grow confident, and again, Fuuta cannot shut his mouth, so he would give Haruka some much needed pushback. You know that meme where there’s two people and one goes, “Excuse me? He asked for no pickles?” I can see Fuuta going, “Excuse me? Haruka. What did you ask for?” “It’s okay, I’ll eat around them.” “No, what did you ask for?” *cue more insistence that he’s fine until Haruka finally goes, “… no pickles please.”

Honestly, I’m fine with Haruka meeting any of the other prisoners IRL except for Muu (who feeds into his bullshit) and Kotoko (who will kill him).

8. What is your theory for their crime? If there’s a general consensus within the fandom, do you have any other, not-so-wildly-accepted thoughts on it?

Kotoko’s murder. Based on “Harrow” I think that her killing the serial killer was her first kill, but her earlier acts like bribing the journalist for info and beating up the thief were all escalating behaviors leading up to it. She worries me the most because she’s the one I am most convinced that would kill again if released back into the general population. Haruka is my blorbo but he is also a murderous, little bitch who deserves jail time. But he’s also dumb and will most likely caught and arrested quickly because he boasted to his mother about his kills like a cat bringing dead mice and voles to its owner’s doorstep. Kotoko is clever, and I can see her outfoxing the cops like she’s a chess prodigy playing checkers. Despite John’s bluster about being an uncontrollable monster, I do think that he knew his victims and viewed them as threats to Bokuto’s life and/or current position. Kotoko’s methodical nature and dedication to her role as a tool of violence inflicting ‘righteous’ judgment worries me more than that. I’m all for addressing the flaws of the justice system, especially when it is used to let dangerous people off, but I don’t believe the death penalty should be the decision of one person (even if they were held accountable to the law and a code of ethics), if that makes sense. I can understand and sympathize with her motives, but I don’t agree with her actions and I have enough faith in her to have wracked up quite the body count by the time she is arrested by police. Home girl gets shit done, and has enough distance from her (criminal) victims to elude the police longer than someone who knew them.

I am curious as to how she got into this. I definitely think that the serial killer she killed worked the area where she lived, so I can see her growing frustrated with police for not stopping him and taking matters into her own hands. Kotoko emphasizes in her first trial interrogation questions that she is not a victim. She is someone who sympathized with their plight and wishes to protect them. It’s emphasized enough that I think, “Keep telling yourself that.” The theory that the serial killer abducted and then killed her sister may have some weight because Kotoko wouldn’t be the victim, it would be her younger sister. Semantics. I have thoughts on the glitchy trailer lines, and I think her line is her talking to someone who disapproves of her plan and her snapping back at them to shut it because they’re too weak to do it.

If you’re going to pick your first human kill, a serial killer is always a good pick.

14. Any headcanons on their appearance?

Mahiru is definitely one of the most fashionable Milgram prisoners. Yuno and her battle it out for the number one spot lol. Mikoto trails close behind them. She almost certainly is someone who has been reading fashion magazines since the fourth grade and knows how to best coordinate outfits and accessories in accordance to the weather, preferred colored palette, and the formality of the occasion. The only reason I wouldn’t want to go clothes shopping with her is because it would take too long!

Based on her comments about always being the one confessing versus being confessed to, I’d reckon that she doesn’t have much confidence in her own looks, which is a shame because she is pretty. Naive she may be, but, I think she has good insides to match her outside.

She seems like someone who has an in-depth skin routine. If the fashion magazines comment doesn’t count as a headcanon, I would say she definitely has a whole skin care routine that she does and coming to Milgram wrecked it since she doesn’t have access to her things. She’s probably a little miffed about it, but she’s got bigger problems so it is a back burner issue.

[squadrah]

Any way we could get a comprehensive list of all the conditions, allergies etc. that you HC Melone with? Your characterization of Mel is my absolute favorite!!

First, thank you for the kind words, I'm very happy you like my characterization so much! <3

Your ask made me realize that I actually had something from my CuriousCat, so I will put that whole thing here! I also found some other drafts of mine that hinted at Melone stuff, so I will look those over and add anything that isn't here (and after that I will hopefully also finish up and queue those drafts just to stay on topic!)

From My CuriousCat

"What are all your medical HCs for Melone?"

The first time I discussed Melone's potential health issues was when I listed some conditions for him in my La Squadra headcanon/drawing meme, the full version of which is here. For this post I'll include my original portrait of Melone separately since it demonstrates some of what I'll be talking about:

(For the meme, I listed the following conditions: comorbidities, amblyopia, allergies.)

Originally I didn't think a lot about medical conditions, but after listening to some friends talk about potential clues to Melone having poor health (his mask hinting at eye problems, the fact that his Stand works remotely so he doesn't have to engage his targets directly, and even things like his stiff gait in the now-defunct JoJo's Pitter Patter Pop mobile game), I decided that this reading of Melone made sense, and started thinking more about it. That said, since I'm not chronically ill and have little experience with chronic illness in my everyday life, I can only talk in vague terms.

As mentioned above, I had amblyopia listed in the drawing meme, meaning one "lazy" eye that Melone might also be mostly blind in. I've seen others say that his covered eye could be an implant, which is also interesting! In the end I went with amblyopia for the aesthetic.

By comorbidities, I was thinking an autoimmune disorder and some comorbid conditions exacerbating it and causing symptoms like joint pain, chronic pain, or insomnia. My portrait shows Melone with vitiligo both as an aesthetic choice (adding even more visual interest, which makes his portrait one of my all-time favorites I've done) and as a way of reflecting this condition, and an added motive was that I just feel like these little things make a difference and might make people with vitiligo feel more seen. Basically Melone is usually in mild to moderate pain, and on his bad days, it gets progressively worse, so he takes a lot of medication and indulges in hot baths. I would also add in retrospect that I could see him having occasional seizures, which tend to land him in the ER from time to time - along with stuff like minor accidents, having alcohol too soon after taking medication, or allergy flare-ups.

Speaking of allergies, my headcanon came from talking to a friend and joking about Melone figuring out through trial and error what he can and cannot have. Lactose intolerance is definitely among those in my land, so Melone has to take his lactaid if he wants a milkshake. Other allergies that I can remember later thinking about were to gluten, possibly sea food, and maybe even stuff like latex.

I didn't go into more detail in the original draft because it sometimes makes me feel sad to think about these things (and as I am editing this, the sentiment holds true), but because of Melone's general design and Stand design, these do make sense to me and honestly, it also helps to flesh out other aspects of his character. Thinking about potential medical conditions for him led to my absolute favorite headcanon for Melone, which is him taking ER selfies of himself and with friends, so for every trip to the emergency room, he has a few photos of himself flashing a victory sign while hooked on an IV, etc. It's funny and eccentric but also heartwarming and heartbreaking in a way: he is just making the most out of his condition and he has friends to help him and make the journey feel less harrowing.

I hope this answers your question, and thank you again for your kind words! It always makes me so happy when people enjoy my version of the characters! <3

[fr-martin-gospel-reflections]

9th June, ‘Save us, Lord, we are going down’, Reflection on today’s gospel reading (Mt 8:18-27)

9th June, Feast of St Columcille or Columba

Columcille was born in Gartan, Co. Donegal in 521 and was of royal lineage, belonging to a branch of the O’Neill dynasty. He studied under Saint Mobhi, in the monastery of Glasnevin. He went on to establish monasteries himself in Derry, Durrow, and possibly Kells. In 563 he left Ireland with twelve companions and founded a monastery on the island of Iona off SW Scotland, which was given to him by the ruler of the Irish Dalriada for the purpose of establishing a monastery. The monastery became a place of learning with the copying and illumination of manuscripts. Columcille remained the rest of his life in Scotland, mainly Iona, returning to Ireland only for occasional visits. He died on June 9, 597. Columcille and his companions preached the gospel in the Western part of Scotland. After his death, monks from Iona went to evangelize Northumbria, where they established monasteries at Lindisfarne and Whitby. Columcille and his companions made the word of God fully known wherever they went. During their ministry, they went through many a stormy time, like the disciples in today’s gospel reading. Yet, just as Jesus was with the disciples in the storm at sea and brought them through it, he was with Columcille and his companions through all their difficult moments, and they came to discover, like those disciples, that the Lord was stronger than the storm. Our own following of the Lord, as a community and as individuals, won’t always be easy; the storms and trials of life will often put our faith to the test. Just as Jesus was asleep in the boat, it can seem to us at such times that the Lord is asleep on our watch. Yet, the Lord is always attentive to us. One of the psalms expresses that conviction very well, ‘He who keeps you will not slumber. He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep’. The Lord is ever watchful and faithful. It is we who can become faithless or, in the rebuke of Jesus to the disciples in the boat, people of ‘little faith’, somewhere between no faith and full faith. We fail to keep the Lord in view. It is because we are all prone to ‘little faith’ that, in the words of Paul in today’s first reading, we need to ‘persevere in prayer’. Perhaps we could keep making our own the prayer of one of the minor characters of the gospel story, the father of a seriously ill boy who prayed to Jesus, ‘Lord, I believe, help my unbelief’.

Friday, Ninth Week in Ordinary Time

There is a great deal of the praise of God in today’s first reading. When Tobias healed the blindness of his father Tobit, his father, fell on his son’s neck and exclaimed, ‘Blessed be God! Blessed be his great name! Blessed be all his holy angels! Blessed be his great name for evermore!’ When Tobias went into his father’s house, he joyfully blessed God, telling his father everything about the journey he had just completed. Then Tobit set off to the gates of Nineveh to meet his daughter-in-law for the first time, ‘giving joyful praise to God as he went’. When he met, Sarah, his daughter in law, he blessed her with the words, ‘Blessed by your God for sending you to us, my daughter’. Tobit and Tobias recognized the presence of God in all that was happening around them and they gave praise and thanks to God for it. We are all probably much more familiar with the prayer of petition. When we are in difficulty to ask God to help us. We pray to God out of the depths. That is as it should be. Sometimes, we forget to praise and thank God for the blessings that come our way in life. We don’t think of God as easily in good times as in bad times. According to the gospel reading, the majority of the people heard Jesus with delight. The presence of Jesus, his deeds and his words, brought them joy, and led them to praise God. Jesus is God’s gift to us all. We can all hear him with delight. God’s gift of his Son to us gives us very good reason to praise and thank God. We say formal prayers of praise and thanks to God in the Mass. Yet, Tobit and Tobias, and the people in the gospel reading, encourage us to be spontaneous in our prayer of praise and thanks to God. It is a prayer that can arise in our hearts at any time of the day, in any place, in response to the Lord’s many, daily, blessings. In the words of today’s psalm, ‘I will praise the Lord all my days’.

[margridarnauds]

I noticed my beloved Marie Antoinette is falling behind and, let's be honest, I can't stand for that. So, let's talk about one of the best musicals of all time and the reason for my url.

-- Marie Antoinette is popularly thought to be an adaptation of the famous Austrian born French queen's life -- in reality, it isn't. It's an adaptation of the historical fiction novel by Shusaku Endo. Therefore, while it, like a number of the currently winning entries, is set in Europe, it is based on a Japanese novel by a Japanese author, it premiered in Japan, it was rewritten in Korea. While most people know it from either the failed German production or the Hungarian production and it does have Kunze and Levay attached to it (though more Levay than Kunze these days ngl), it represents a collaborative effort on behalf of two Asian musical industries.

-- The music. Again, when you hire Kunze and Levay, you know you're going to get something good at least from Levay, and they really outdid themselves here. From the haunting Blinded By The Lights of A Thousand Candles to the defiant Enough Is Enough to the ambitious villain song I Am The Best to the melancholy romance and regret of The Only Thing I Ever Did Right.

-- The historical accuracy. Look, this is a musical. Musicals have to change things in order to condense history in two hours. But I've had plenty of people who are far more into the Frev than I am say that this is one of the single best, most nuanced portrayals of Marie Antoinette's life they've ever seen, even if it does repeat some common myths like the Duc d'Orléans starting the Revolution or Marie Antoinette and Fersen having an affair. It includes the Affair of the Diamond Necklace, it includes the September Massacres, it includes projections from *actual pamphlets used to discredit Marie*, it includes *a legit replica of Marie Antoinette's actual bed in the Toho production*

Compared to the real bed at Versailles

-- The costumes are gorgeous. Both the Toho and the Korean productions went out of their way to create absolutely gorgeous costumes. Just searching for "Marie Antoinette das Musical" on my blog will turn up a few of the gifsets I've made of the costumes, but just for one of my favorite examples:

The stage design is gorgeous:

Like, seriously. Look at this. Or the projections they used to tell the story of the Varennes Flight.

-- The characterization, especially of the two female leads. There are quite a few musicals that have two female leads these days (Wicked, War Paint, Chicago, to name a few examples off the top of my head), but I think that Marie Antoinette really does a great job balancing them out, especially given tbh a lot of the musicals that are making it thus far are kind of sausage fests that either have one token female character or no female characters on the stage at all. Both Marie Antoinette and Margrid Arnaud are given sympathy and respect even as they're both allowed to be wrong. Margrid in particular is one of my favorite characters of all time -- everything that people say they want with a messy female character is there with her -- she's a gremlin, she's either directly or indirectly responsible for multiple catastrophic events in the French Revolution, she has daddy issues, she might or might not be fucking the king's cousin who is helping the Revolution out for his own ends only for the two of them to have a breakup in the middle of the trial of the century, she cries on stage, she has religious trauma. Literally everything you could possibly want in a female character. And she is also a rare example of a lower class woman in 18th century France given any amount of nuance or compassion, and she's double-billed alongside the most famous woman of the time and shares equal screen time with her! Literally no one is doing it like her.

・*.+.*・・*.+.*・・*.+.*・・*.+.*・・*.+.*・

Championship Bracket

Cyrano ∼𝓋𝓈∼ Marie Antoinette

・*.+.*・・*.+.*・・*.+.*・・*.+.*・・*.+.*・

[nyx3927]

 @musicfeedsmysoul12​ and @lurking96 this is both of y’all’s fault with that thread about how too many fics where Izuku jumps, gets a quirk and just make Bakugo regret it without any actual character change. Just: Izuku goes splat, and now Bakugo is an uwu soft boy who’s really sorry but had no character development visible.

Y’all both get some of the blame for this fic outline I created after a bang, chocolate, and on 2 hours of sleep. It’s still a really rough outline and I don’t have time to polish it up into an actual outline, draft, then fic with my summer classes and job right now. Enjoy my stream of thought with no filter

The Ripple

Izuku has a concussion from Bakugo attacking him at school so his eyesight is off. Everything else is the same up to when All Might leaves him on the roof.

The concussion fucked with his vision, balance, and depth perception. So he ended up accidentally stepping off the side of the building. (Hush, I know that there’s a railing. We’re pretending that when All Might jumped away from Izuku on the roof, he accidentally took like half of it with him.)

Crash, boom, blood. Ambulance carted him off to the hospital and that’s the last we see of Izuku for a while.

They don’t know that All Might was the one who got him up to the rooftop because the notebook with the signature was blown off the roof and into the river. By the time that it was found, it was nothing but mush and the writing was illegible, all runny and blurry. They also just assumed that a villain ripped the railing off in a previous battle and the owner hadn’t gotten it fixed yet.

Inko tells Mitsuki that they think it was suicide because he couldn’t have accidentally gotten up on the roof (No evidence of All Might). Katsuki hears that but refuses to tell anyone that he told Izuku to jump off a roof because that could hurt his chances of being a hero.

Entrance Exam

Fast-forward to the entrance exam, everything proceeds as canon except for the bits with Izuku, which never happened.

Uraraka is stuck under the boulder with the zero pointer bearing down on her. Canon shows no evidence of any pro except Present Mic at the site, and he was last seen at the gates so he isn’t close by to Uraraka.

Uraraka couldn’t escape from the boulder in time and the kill switch takes up to 30 seconds to receive and process. So, the robot steps on the boulder and crushes her leg. She’s rushed to Recovery Girl but the damage is so severe that they have to amputate a leg.

As compensation, UA takes care of all the medical bills and offers her a spot in the Hero Course at UA with her entire tuition paid for all 3 years. Uraraka accepts to make it easier financially on her parents, so she shows up to the first day of classes with a prosthetic leg that she painted pink in an effort to make it less sad.

Quirk Assessment

A random extra is put into 1-A, but they and Mineta are promptly expelled. The extra just didn’t try at all, relying upon the idea that the teacher wouldn’t actually expel anyone on the first day. Mineta was just too pervy/not heroic enough so he got the boot.

Aizawa was reminded of the death of Oboro when Uraraka nearly got crushed, so he’s on high alert to expel those that he believes would never be good at heroics/ would just get themselves killed. Extra not trying and Mineta just focusing on being a perv, made him convinced they would get killed so he just expelled them straight away [No readmission for them]

This shocked Momo who thought he was bluffing and made her more cognizant of the fact that not everyone plays by the same rules as her.

Battle Trial

Battle trials happen. Momo and Uraraka are paired up together and fight twice in the trials. They won both times because Uraraka floated the bomb and Momo in the fight against Todoroki so that it was impossible for Todoroki to capture them. They win against Iida and Bakugo because Uraraka takes advantage of Iida’s unwillingness to hurt someone he views as disabled/helpless and knocks him out with a bat from Momo, then touches the bomb, Momo just created water and soaked Bakugo so he couldn’t use his Quirk and then ran from him.

All other trials proceeded as in canon.

USJ

Since Tsuyu is the only one in the Water Zone [Midoriya not in the story and Mineta expelled], she just went straight for the shore and got back to the entry area via the river. She witnesses the entire beatdown of Aizawa and his fighting, so she’s very traumatized. But because she’s amphibious and is completely underwater [In my hcs, she can breathe underwater as long as water can access most of her skin. So her suit is very permeable and water can get through it], Shigaraki never sees her and so he doesn’t try to kill her.

Rest of the USJ goes as canon dictates including Aizawa getting his head smashed by the Nomu

Sports Festival

Because 1-A has 2 less students, only the first 40 to get to the finish line can pass on. Todoroki ended up getting first place by icing over Bakugo’s legs at the tunnel entrance. Everyone else that originally passed in canon, also passed.

All the teams are the same, except for Uraraka’s team which doesn’t have Midoriya, and Shoji’s who doesn’t have Mineta.

Bakugo is going after Todoroki instead of Uraraka’s team because he’s focused on snagging the winning headband. 

Uraraka uses her Quirk on her team and they just hang out in the sky for awhile, since after the boulder, she practiced to be able to lift more weight so that never happens again. 

Shoji’s team is the same as canon, especially because Mineta never actually did anything important to the team.

Todoroki never uses his fire because he used his ice to create a dome that kept everyone else away from his team. Bakugo runs around stealing other headbands since he can’t get to Todoroki.

At the end of the round, Todoroki is in first, Bakugo is second, Uraraka is third and Shinso is fourth.

Ojiro and Shoda both drop out citing the fact that they couldn’t remember the event as the reason. Shiozaki Ibara and Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu replace them

So now we have the 1v1 battles with the following students.

Uraraka Ochako

Tokoyami Fumikage

Hatsume Mei

Bakugo Katsuki

Kirishima Eijiro

Ashido Mina

Sero Hanta

Todoroki Shoto

Iida Tenya

Yaoyorozu Momo

Kaminari Denki

Shinso Hitoshi

Aoyama Yuga

Shiozaki Ibara

Tetsutetsu Tetsutestu

Shinso gets a free pass onto the next round because he is a gen ed student so they wanted to allow him the best chance possible and it’s better for the optics of UA for watchers to see a hero student beating up another hero student instead of a gen ed kid.

Todoroki v. Sero -Todoroki won ala iceberg

Kaminari v. Shiozaki  -Kaminari won by sending electricity through her hair and knocking her out because Aizawa forced him to start thinking outside of the box after he nearly died during the USJ [shiozaki has to have nerves to control her vines and nerves have electricity traveling through them. So they’re a conductor and Kaminari can send his electricity down them]

Iida v. Hatsume -He doesn’t accept her gadgets and just pushes her out of bounds. After the Uraraka debacle in his battle trial, he realizes that he can’t just go off his perceptions and has to be wary of them.

Ashido v. Aoyama - Ashido won

Tokoyami v. Yaoyorozu - Yaoyorozu won by creating an explosion of light and blinding them, then pushing them out of the ring. Uraraka taught her to take advantage of what she can do and Aizawa forced her to realize that others don’t have the same rules.

Tetsutetsu v. Kirishima - Kirishima won by charging Tetsutetsu and knocking him out of the ring. Again Aizawa forced him to not just behave as a shield because of the USJ

Uraraka v. Bakugo -Uraraka won by taking off her prosthetic, leaving it as a decoy and floating herself so that he couldn’t hear her coming, and the dust from his explosions had blinded him. She tackled him from above and hurled him out of bounds. He got a concussion and Recovery Girl forced him to stay in the infirmary.

Todoroki v. Shinso -Shinso won by coming after Todoroki’s weak spot and making him talk

Iida v. Kaminari -Kaminari won by shocking Iida’s engines when he tried to grab him. Made him collapse, and then just dragged him out of bounds.

Tokoyami v. Ashido- Tokoyami won by Dark Shadow kicking her out of bounds

Uraraka v. Kirishima -Uraraka won by preying on Kirishima’s desire for manliness and to not hurt a girl. Got close enough to float him and then just push him out of bounds. Aizawa has plans to lecture Kirishima about when to be manly and when to not be.

Shinso v. Kaminari -Shinso won. He could tell that Kaminari was a memelord, so he just took advantage of that and said a meme that Kaminari couldn’t resist completing. [Don’t know what yet, I’ll figure it out later]

Tokoyami v. Uraraka -Tokoyami won. Uraraka lost because she couldn’t use her Quirk on Dark Shadow and Dark Shadow was the one to attack her. [See doc of quirk analysis for more in depth in case we forget]

Shinso v. Tokoyami -Shinso won by mirroring Tokoyami’s speech patterns which knocked him off guard and got him caught into Shinso’s Quirk.

Shinso got first place, Tokoyami got second, Uraraka and Kaminari shared third place.

Hero names

Todoroki -Shoto

Bakugo -King Explosion

Iida -Tenya

Uraraka -Weightless [As a pun on weigh less because of her amputation and her quirk. She’s not quite as bubbly and didn’t feel like uravity reflected her anymore]

Tsuyu -Froppy

Kirishima -Red Riot

Yaoyorozu -Creati [I really want to change this but I don’t know to whaaaat!!! I’ll come back to it later]

Tokoyami -Tsukuyomi

Jiro -EarJack

Shinso -Silencer [Stupid but his quirk makes people silent plus I love MLB silencer design of the , not the helmet tho that is ugly looking and the coloring needs to be more muted imo]

Internships

Shinso gets an internship with Aizawa to assess whether or not he’s fit for heroics. Aizawa also prescreens all of his students' internships to make sure that it’s a good fit for them. [He’s a lot more protective of where they because he wants them to be actually learning useful heroics not shit like how to clean and pose for a camera.]

Mirko offers an internship to Uraraka because she wanted to teach a fighting girl that was perceived as helpless by society. [Society views disabled as helpless, a girl is also viewed as helpless, both is bad combination. Mirko wants to prove anyone can be badass with the right training]

Yaoyorozu gets put with Fatgum because Aizawa sees that she’s struggling with the fat part of her Quirk and knows that if she went with Uwabami, she’d develop more insecurities. [Uwabami is a TV actress/model. She’ll pass on weight/beauty related insecurities because that’s what a lot of actresses have and she seems focused more on a fanbase]

Kirishima goes with Rock Lock to be faced with the blunt truth that ideals are nice, but you can’t have them rule your life as a hero. [Canonly, he’s very blunt and pragmatic, so he’d believe that trying to be manly is fine, but there is a time and place for it.]

Everyone else goes with their canon internships.

The Nomus attack Hosu. Because Gran Torino isn’t there, the Nomus are more dangerous and more civilians die. All the heroes are focused exclusively on managing the Nomus and the interns kinda fall to the wayside since they can’t do anything.

Iida slips away and Manual is too busy putting out fires to notice.

Iida runs off and finds Stain. Battle commences and Iida loses.

Stain calls him and Native fake heroes. Native gets a sliced throat. Stain is a little more lenient with Iida because he is a kid. He goes through the fabric pants and slices the femoral artery to the bone. [Femoral artery cuts can lead to death within minutes especially with Iida running on adrenaline which kicks up the blood pressure and rate of bleeding.]

Endeavour comes through with Shoto burning all the nomus and destroying them. Finally the city is quiet and the search for the dead begins.

Every hero in Hosu grid searched the entire city to retrieve the dead and bring them to the morgue for claiming. 

Manual was the one to find his dead intern and Native. He had to call UA and tell them that he got a student killed while under his supervision. He gets blacklisted by UA and Aizawa puts out a warning on the Underground network that if others are under his care, that he might lose track of them.

Once everyone returned from their internships, they left red spider lilies on his desk as a way to guide him to the afterlife.

Training Camp

The villains still want Bakugo because they saw his aggression, violence, and determination to be the best during the sports festival and the internships. So they think he’d be an easy switch to flip.

This time, Aizawa doesn’t dump them out in the middle of the forest because he’s focusing on forcing his students to interact and bond with each other instead of doing their own thing. So they all stay on the bus and Aizawa makes them talk about something semi-important with a seat partner for 10 minutes before switching so that everyone talks to more than just their friend groups.

When they arrive, Kota is his bratty self and Aizawa shuts that down fast. He tells him that he has two options, one: stay with his aunts and uncle or two: stay with Aizawa. Aizawa can’t have an itty-bitty child running around loose in the forest when 17 hormonal teenagers are letting off their Quirks which are dangerous. [it was an awful idea in canon to let Kota hide in his treehouse. Imagine if one of the kids near the mountain lost control of their quirk.] Kota chooses to stay with his aunts and uncle at all times because Aizawa is scary.

Once the training starts, he pairs everyone up with different partners to force their Quirks to improve.

Ashido-Kirishima to strengthen her acid and his hardening by hurling acid at him

Tokoyami-Kaminari-Aoyama to force Aoyama to maintain his laser beam for longer, Tokoyami to force him to strengthen Dark Shadow against light, Kaminari to power multiple light sources without burning them out and not going into whee mode so he can avoid the laser beam and Dark Shadow

Ojiro-Koda to force Koda to vary the animals that he calls and Ojiro to give him experience with fending off multiple opponents of varying sizes and skill levels without seriously injuring them.

Todoroki-Bakugo-Tsuyu to force Todoroki to be able to control both sides of his quirks and switch them easily, Tsuyu to force her to get accustomed to varying temperatures and making sure they don’t knock her out, Bakugo to force him to sweat more in both cold and hot temperatures so that he’s more versatile.

Jiro-Shoji-Hagakure to force Hagakure to improve her stealth and fighting, Jiro to make her be able to detect people sneaking up on her, and Shoji to improve his locating skills and stealth. [Shoji is a big boy and needs to work on stealth]

Sero-Sato to help Sero with his dodging and speed, and Sato to help him retain more of his planning and forethought while his Quirk is activated

Uraraka-Yaoyorozu to make Uraraka work on her sickness and weight limits and Yaoyorozu to adapt to planning on the fly and create items quickly.

Aizawa forces them to break away from their training partners when it’s time to make dinner and everyone is required to help in some way during the meal. The help can be gathering the ingredients, preparing them, doing the actual cooking, plating, setting the table, cleaning up after, anything as long as they contributed.

Repeat until the trial of courage.

Vlad wants to do the trial and Aizawa refuses to do it. Aizawa is actively trying to squash out the competitiveness of his students in order to make them work together and ask for help so that they’ll survive longer in the hero society. Uraraka lost a leg because people wouldn’t cooperate to help her in the entrance exam and Iida died because he was too focused on himself and didn’t ask for help. The trial would just reignite the competitiveness and ruin his progress.

1-B does the trial on their own while 1-A is given a maze they have to navigate.

The maze is created by Pixie Bob and is huge. It’s large enough that the students on the ground can’t peek over the walls to see the path. There are two students on the ground, the leader and the guide. The leader can see the walls and the turns but has earplugs in so they can’t hear the guide if the guide tries to talk. The guide can hear the directions from the person who sees the entire maze but is blindfolded and has to guide through tapping the shoulders of the leader. The person outside and looking down has to direct their team through the maze quickly without crashing into other teams. The leader can’t just guess a direction because Pixiebob will shift the maze if they try to do that so they can’t backtrack. It’s in teams of three so Aizawa is directing the last team. [Kinda inspired by survivor but with my own twist]

All of them rotate through each position with different teams each go round to impress on them the importance of all the roles.

In the last round, Bakugo was the person issuing instructions, cursing and screaming through the mic the entire time.

That’s when the villains attacked. But there were a few changes in the lineup. 

Toga wasn’t there because the police picked her up and Inko got her case taken on to get her on parole and took her into her home when she saw her at the station while continuing with the criminal charges levied against the owner of the building that Izuku had fallen off of. The appearance of a girl bullied and ostracized for her Quirk, who was going down the path of no return, Inko saw Izuku in her. As such, she wanted to care for her and show her that villainy wasn’t the answer and that there are people who cared for her in spite of her blood Quirk. [Toga is stuck with Inko at this point in time and has a tracking anklet to make sure that she’s behaving. Rehab is going really well with the unconditional care that Inko is providing.]

Dabi got an infection and landed in the hospital ER as an unknown patient and wound up in a coma while his body was busy trying to fight the infection of his staples. [The man’s a walking open wound. You can sneeze in his general vicinity and have a high chance of taking him down in a couple weeks. Haven’t decided if I want to wake him up or not. Depends on my feelings]

Mustard joined the attack via Toga due to them being closer in age and talking. No Toga, no Mustard. [He’s sulking in detention right now.]

So the only ones left are Mr. Compress, Magne, Spinner, Muscular, Moonfish, Twice and the Nomu. Much smaller and no long-range attacks.

Their mission is to get in, extract Bakugo and get out with minimal damage. That’s what happened.

Muscular, Moonfish, and the Nomu all rampage on the opposite side of the mountain to draw attention to them. Magne and Spinner break up the 1-A class and drive them apart. Twice and Mr. Compress work together to snatch up Bakugo in a marble and then they all book it. Muscular and Moonfish are both left behind to keep the heroes distracted long enough for them to get back to Kurogiri and through the portal. Nomu ended up buried in a mountain via a very anger Tiger at the disruption of his naps. The students all worked together to try and bring down the villain to retrieve their classmate, but when that failed, Yaoyorozu managed to attach a tracker to the villains top hat.

Injuries were minimal and the three heavy hitting villains were arrested and locked up. The only casualty was Bakugo being kidnapped.

Kidnapping Arc

Blah, blah, join us you can be stronger and win a villain-Shigaraki

No, fuck off, go fuck yourselves-Bakugo

Repeat until All Might shows up

Then AfO activates goop Quirk [really need a better name for that. better than vomit transport quirk at least. That was my first thought], drags the league and Bakugo to him. Bakugo is held by him, hand on his temple ready to crush him.

Rest of Heroes all show up on the battlefield but aren’t moving so that Bakugo doesn’t get hurt. Essentially a stand off.

You know, you can tell whether or not someone has the potential for villainy by their greatest regret -AfO

AfO has a quirk that allows the user to see someone’s greatest regret, with more details the longer that the quirk is activated. He also has a quirk that allows him to project whatever he’s thinking about in a video format for everyone to see. [the man is old. he probably had a habit of taking whatever quirk he wanted when he was younger before all might turned him into a very ugly potato/alternate darth vader]

Quirks activate and it’s the scene of Bakugo telling Izuku to get jump off a building spliced with the news from Inko that Izuku was suspected of jumping off a building

Interesting. Why is that your greatest regret?-AfO

Quirk gives him more details. 

Bakugo only regrets saying that because if it ever became public, he'd never reach the spot of number one hero which is his only goal in life.

Guess you are nothing but a villain after all. Too obsessed with yourself to see the damage you caused.-Afo 

Afo shoved the boy away from him and forcibly activated Kurogiri’s Quirk to allow the league to escape.

Every hero on site is frozen in shock at the reveal of what a hero student of UA, the most prestigious hero school that graduated most of the top heroes in Japan, actually believed.

At that point, AfO flips All Might the finger and just goes through the portal because the news would shake society’s faith in UA which is really good. He can kill All Might later. [or just wait for any infection to take the man out. He lost his stomach so he probably lost his spleen too which is kinda important for the immune system.]

Fallout

Bakugo is booted to gen ed because Aizawa refused to teach someone that was just going to end up hurting someone later in life. Because Aizawa is an Underground Hero who specializes in information and predication, schools tend to believe in what he says about the potential/future of heroes in training especially when he has evidence to back up his beliefs. So no other school will take him on as a hero student.

Bakugo is essentially blacklisted from heroics because everyone wants to believe that a hero is good and just. And when the illusion is broken before it has a chance to solidify, they have no chance of becoming a hero. 

Aizawa goes and apologizes in person to Inko. Because even though he had no way of knowing, he feels like he should have recognized the abusive tendencies and/or egocentrism  of Bakugo earlier. So, allowing it to continue was a slap in the face to his victims.

Inko accepts his apology because she didn’t know about it either so how could she blame him when she was closer and still missed all the signs. She offers to let Aizawa visit Izuku because Eraserhead was one of his favorite heroes because of how much skill he had. But because Eraserhead was underground, he didn’t have any merch or enough information to write about him.

*Split path here depending on the angst level I want

1. Izuku is in a coma, all healed up, just hasn’t woken up. When they came, Izuku had just woken up a half hour ago so the doctors were busy checking all his vitals, memory, joints, etc. Inko cries, Aizawa stands away because he’s allergic to emotions, and Izuku is just silently fanboying because he sees one of his favorite heroes.

2.Izuku is in a coma and doesn’t wake up. Inko introduces Aizawa to him and tells Aizawa about his dreams and his story. Aizawa makes sure that at least once a week, he comes and visits to talk to him. He also brings other heroes to introduce to Midoriya to make sure that others know about him.

3.Aizawa and Inko go to a graveyard and the name Midoriya Izuku is carved into a family grave marker with flowers and an All Might figure in front of it. Inko tells Aizawa that Izuku died from falling from the building. They thought he jumped randomly, but with the new info, Inko is thinking that Bakugo might’ve pushed him verbally over the edge. Aizawa promises to investigate more.

[theerrorofmylife]

Betrayal of Anubis

This tells the story of the avatar of Anubis and how they meet Marc/Steven. Many other gods, characters, and being are included and resemble their myths as closely as possible.

Part 2 for those who enjoyed part 1. 

Part 1

   Some years later, my ribs had healed, and a scar stretched from my jaw past my eyebrow, very nearly missing my eye by a millimeter. If I hadn’t flinched on instinct that day, I’d be half blind and fully dead. While Sekhmet, Imhotep, Khonsu, and Isis looked after me, the Ennead bound Anubis in stone while Bastet and Montu held him at bay. The feeling of Anubis being ripped from my consciousness and literally separated from my soul was enough to put me on my ass for quite a few days. In the months then years that followed I stayed in the temple, wandering the halls, and attending to the alters. I sometimes went back to my apartment but being away from the gods made me feel sick... made me feel alone. 

“My child?” Mahora stood in the doorway, but her eyes were green. 

“Nephthys, my lady.” Turning from the alter space I was cleaning, I see her. 

“A meeting has been called by Khonsu, though we know not what about. Will you join us? You have always been friends with Khonsu, perhaps it would be good to see him.” Khonsu… I had not seen him in some time. I nodded and followed her into the chamber. There, many other gods were beginning to enter in, and a man stood on the center floor. He was wonderfully handsome, with a striking jawline, curly dark hair, and those forearms… continuing to size him up, I made the mistake of focusing on his thighs...those were something else and my face went scalding hot. Hathor looked over to me and grinned a little too wide for my liking.

“In attendance, Horus, Isis, Tefnut, Osiris, Nephthys, and Hathor, to hear the account of Khonsu,” Hathor announced. I had not realized Khonsu was on trial. Osiris tilted his head to the side.

“You’ve been banished once for nearly exposing us, Khonsu, and you know how we despise your garishness, but manipulate the sky again and we will imprison you in stone.” The idea made me sick. I had known Khonsu for almost as long as I had known Anubis, to think another friend would be lost… His avatar seemed to seize up.

“Spare me your self-righteous threats! I was banished for not abandoning humanity, unlike the rest of you.” Khonsu’s voice rattled his avatar, and I could see the strain Khonsu was putting on him.

“Old friend, please, do not exhaust your avatar.” All eyes looked at me, and for a split second, I see relief in the man’s eyes as his shoulders relax.

“We have not abandoned humanity, they abandoned us. We simply trust our Avatars to carry out our purposes without calling undue attention to ourselves. Not like some of us.”

“Avatars are not enough! We need the might of gods. Return from the opulence of the Overvoid before you lose this realm!”

“For the last time, Khonsu... The Avatars that remain here are simply meant to observe. We decided long ago we did not wish to meddle in the affairs of man.” At this, I cast a glance at Osiris. It was when Anubis was imprisoned that they decided to cut ties with humanity.

“We will decide our best course of action. Speak your purpose.” Isis finally spoke.

“I call for judgment against Arthur Harrow.” Harrow… I did recognize the name… wait, wasn’t that Khonsu’s old avatar?!

“The charges?”

“Conspiracy to release Ammit!” Ammit, Maat’s pet, with the head of a crocodile and the body of a lion, would always sit with Anubis and Maat during the ceremony of the scales. Anubis told me about her, especially when we first met, and I wouldn’t shut up. I remember pestering the shit out of him with questions about the gods and the stories and the truth behind them, but he never minded. He loved answering my questions and loved that I had the desire to learn everything I could. Anubis… He used to tell me she was always so happy. She would enjoy whatever time she could get with the two deities. But a long time ago, cruel people and their crimes began to anger her. She couldn’t stand the pain people were causing and wished to punish people before they could commit the crime, thus stopping the pain they would impart before it even happened. When she tried to explore such options, the gods imprisoned her in stone, and Anubis and Maat were left alone. Anubis didn’t like telling that part of the story.

“That is a heavy accusation, Khonsu. Let us summon the accused.” With a wave of Tefnut’s hand, a doorway opened to the Avatar’s left. A man with long strawberry blond hair and… a strange demeanor. He was dressed something similar to a religious man, with… was that glass crunching in his shoes?!

“So, I see by the presence of Khonsu’s current makeshift avatar, that the purposes of our meeting must be nefarious.” He sounded so pretentious, almost gloating.

“You know exactly why we are here!” Khonsu was getting angry again. Fck- if he put any more strain on his avatar, the effects could verge more on psychological rather than just physical.

“I must admit I do not miss the sound of that voice. But speak, old master, to the point.” Rude.

“Do you not seek to release Ammit from her tomb?” The avatar’s strength looked to be straining and he was slowly getting closer to the floor.

“Khonsu! Please, for your avatar’s sake, go easy! He’s only human, please don’t hurt him, your power is overwhelming for him.” At that, his avatar slumped. The poor man looked to be sweating.

“I was in the desert. But if visiting the sands were a crime, the line of sinners would be longer than the Nile. Khonsu has searched for Ammit's tomb since he ensnared me to his service.” This man was a liar, or at least not a full truth-teller. He even smelled like a liar for Ra’s sake! But without proof, what can I do? “His vision is obscured by jealousy, paranoia, and his-”

“He is a deceiver!” Khonsu was losing control.

“Do not trust the word of a shamed god. No, Khonsu is unhinged and his servant unwell.” His avatar, the man, did look unwell but that could just be because of Khonsu… right?

“How do you mean?”

“This is a man who literally does not know his own name. He has a marriage certificate under the name Marc Spector-” Marc… it fit him nicely. However, married changes things.

“Liar!”

“Employment records under the name Steven Grant.” Steven also fit him, but it sounded… familiar.

“Stop!” It was no longer Khonsu speaking, but Marc.

“I've seen him speak to himself-”

“Shut up!”

“Threaten himself! I have no idea how many personalities he must possess. The man is clearly insane.” Harrow was clearly taunting Marc now, or Steven, or… whoever was in there. I saw his fist pull back before he swung… or attempted to swing? A ring of blue looped around his wrist and drew it back from Harrow.

“We will not tolerate violence in this Chamber.” 

“It brings me no pleasure to tell you that this is a deeply troubled man. Khonsu is taking advantage of him the same way that he abused me, the way he aspires to abuse this court. Take action now before it's too late.” 

“Let us speak to Marc Spector.” Osiris threw his hands to the sides and Marc fell to his knees. He was panting, and what looked to be in a lot of pain. I stood and stepped down from the platform, slowly approaching Marc, but I made a wide arc to avoid Harrow. Kneeling, I placed a very light hand on his shoulder.

“Are you ok, Marc?” He shook his head, and I gave him my hand to help him stand. I pulled him to his feet and when I looked up, he was staring at me intently. It was wonderful to be looked at like that. 

“You’re not a god...?” How astute. As if pondering my own sarcasm, I took in his appearance and nearly stumbled back. My face became unbearably hot. He was extremely attractive.

“No.” Grinning, I let go of his hand and stepped back up the platform, taking my seat again behind Anubis’ small statue. Isis nodded to me, simply as a way to acknowledge that my intervention was finished.

“Are you unwell?” Isis is always the divine mother.

“I am. I am unwell. I need help. But that doesn't change the fact that this man is…” He admitted he was unwell, that he needed help, probably professional help at that, but he was still pleading Khonsu’s case, still clinging to the idea that Harrow is evil and that Khonsu’s vengeance is just.

“This is a safe space for you to tell us if you feel exploited by Khonsu.” Hearing that brought back memories of when I was asked the same question.

“This is not about my feelings! I'm not the one on trial here, he is!” He didn’t deny it, “This is about how dangerous he is if you would just listen for a second.” His voice broke, if only a fraction.

“He has committed no offence. This matter is concluded.” Osiris waved his hand, and the gods left their avatars. Sitting still, I couldn’t help but think that, as adamant as Marc was, I could not shake the idea that instilled in every avatar is an unshakable trust in our patrons. It reminds me of myself so many years ago. Looking up, I spotted Marc and Hathor’s avatar speaking in one of the dim hallways. Hathor was always fond of Khonsu, I wonder if she will tell Marc about Senfu… Suddenly Marc looked up at me. Crap. She did. Anubis told me a lot about Ammit, probably more than he should have now that I think on it. So of course, in no lack of detail, I knew of Senfu, and I knew that he was the only one who knew of Ammit’s resting place… oooooooh no he’s approaching shit shit shit shit!

“Wait!” I was obviously trying to make a run for it, scampering down the nearest hallway. I wanted no part in this, Osiris would have my head for helping Khonsu.

“As handsome as you are, even you cannot command me to stall.” This was a lie. If I took one look at him, I know for a fact I would freeze.

“I need your help! Steven, seriously-” Who the hel??

“Wait, please, we need your help!” A different person spoke this time, a high-pitched European voice, London perhaps. Turning, I still saw only Marc Spector chasing me. “Please, you’re non-godliness…? We-I need your help. We must find Ammit before Harrow does, lives depend on it…” He trailed off, his nervous eyes flitting around the small room. My favorite room, Anubis’ old alter. “My god, this is absolutely incredible. The pyramid of Giza, filled with alters! Whos’ is this, it’s got black candles, dogs, a lovely likeness that. What’s this? An ankh, key of life, very beautiful-”

“Please, Marc, this accent, the interest in my patron’s old alter, this act!” He was frustrating me greatly.

“No, no, no, this isn’t an act. My name is Steven, Steven Grant.” Steven Grant… with the employment records…

“Steven Grant... tell me, is this what Harrow meant? When he said Marc was unwell? Are you one of two in this body?” He almost froze at that, and his sudden hesitation answered my question.

“You talk like a god, but you said you weren’t one. What are you?” Why does he ask so many questions? And why do I care so little that he does?

“I am you. An avatar of a God. But both he and I have been… out of commission for quite some years.”

“Out of commission? How could a god be out of commission?” He spoke with a laugh, awkward as it may be, and it seemed as though he were trying to relieve whatever tension filled the room. 

“Stone is quite the separation tactic.” It went silent and all he did was watch me. His eyes were on mine, a quiet pity directed towards me. I nearly prayed Steven never experienced being separated from Khonsu. That kind of pain was unimaginable. 

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.”

“What do you want, Steven? Why is it that you believe Harrow to be so evil?”

“You already know, Harrow wants to release Ammit so that she can punish people before they commit a crime-”

“No, why do you believe he is evil? Not Khonsu, not Marc, you.” For a moment he was quiet.

“I asked him once if when Ammit judges a person, then is the person technically an innocent? To expand on it, I asked him if she would be ok with killing a child. Harrow wouldn’t answer me, he related a child to a diseased limb that needed severing!” He was emotional… of course, that’s why Khonsu chose him. While Khonsu was a lover of vengeance, he was also a caretaker for those who are lost in the night. His cruelty stemmed from a love for the good humanity had the potential for. The same kind of love that Anubis once had.

“I will help you. I’ll meet you soon, but you must go. Look for Senfu’s sarcophagus.” He nodded so excitedly that I almost found it cute. He turned to leave, and I nearly forgot. “Oh, Steven!”

 “Yes!” Gods, he was so adorable.

“From what I can recall, Senfu had a particular love of charts… specifically those in stars.” He nodded slower this time, thoughtfully, and hurried out through an opening doorway. Alone for the first time in hours, alone with my thoughts. How was I to help? I had nothing, no armor like Khonsu gave his avatars, no weapon given to me by the gods, no guiding light. I could speak to Isis and Nephthys but if Osiris caught wind… I need help, in order to help Steven and Marc, I must myself ask for help, from the one goddess I knew would aid in a warrior’s endeavor. Walking out of Anubis’ room, I made my way to the far left of the pyramid, into the large room filled with cats, weapons, and gold. Large and small candles littered the floor and low rising platforms in reds, greens, and whites. Sitting against the far wall, a large statue of a woman holding a sistrum and an ankh, a lioness from the neck up. Bastet, goddess of war, home, and protection.

“Forgive me for this trespass, but uh, I’m just borrowing it I promise.” I carefully stepped forwards to grab the gold cylinder sitting on her alter. It was about the length of my forearm and easily the width of my wrist. Flipping it in the air, it glittered in the candlelight, and I realized I had nearly forgotten what it was like to hold a weapon of the gods. Catching it, I used my other hand to turn the small ring lock and it extended from either side, one end reaching towards the floor and the other jutting out with the tip of a spear. Under the hallow spearhead was an ankh symbol carved into it. Nodding apologetically to the statue, I rushed out and towards the exit.

“Child.” I skittered to a stop. Above me, standing beside the large face in the chamber room, stood Mahora.

“Hi.” I was in so much trouble.

“You are going to aid the avatar and help Khonsu.” It wasn’t a question; she knew exactly what I planned to do. 

“I must. If I can help them, avoid what happened to Anubis, maybe even save the world; Then shouldn’t I try?” She just… looked at me. As if she were trying to see something that only a goddess could.

“No other reason?”

“I mean, clearly Marc can’t do this alone, and Steven definitely shouldn’t be left alone-”

“Steven?”

“The uh, the other person living in the avatar's body…? He’s like, another personality I think.”

“I see. And you’ve spoken with him?”

“Yes, he seems to be the smart one. Nephthys… I want to help them.”

“Hm,” she smirked, something I only saw on rare occasions. “Then you best head out now, he’s near the sarcophagus.” She waved her hand and behind me, a doorway opened. When I turned to say goodbye, she was gone. Slipping through the doorway, I was standing on a boardwalk. Where the hel was I??

“Hey!” Snapping to the left, I saw Marc. Stomping and angry, he didn’t look all too happy to see me. 

[moongazeonastarfillednight]

Personally, I thought it was several things:

0.5) Silna was not tied to Crozier in the mystical way they were in the book. They went through hell together but ultimately Crozier's people were the cause of her sufferings (losing her father and Tuunbaq's death) and once she saved him, she did her duty and they were "even"? Also, I suppose Crozier was still recovering from his amputation (yo in good condition it can take months!) and near starvation. Where and how would he find her? The Arctic is vast and no one in the camp seemed to wish to help him find her. It would have been suicide to try to follow. She had also proven that she did not need him.

Now to what I think were the actual motivations:

1) Penance: There is no doubt in my mind that Crozier felt guilty for what happened. He had not made his voice heard with Franklin, causing them to get stuck. He sent out Fairholme even tho the monster had just killed Franklin and made a show of being hungry for white meat. He went into drinking instead of taking proper command, making him blind to the men struggles. Could he have prevented Stanley from immolating himself? And then, at the end of it all, he did not save a single one of them. Yeah, I'd feel miserable enough to disappear from the world too...

2) Shame: all of the above but, also... that was not just some people... that's Sir James Clark Ross that came to find him. That's his best friend in the whole world and a RN superstar. They went on 4 different arctic expeditions together before, survived the wreck of the Fury and came back with (almost) whole crews every time. JC Ross was also part of John Ross's disastrous expedition, when they lost the Victory and walked hundred of miles to Fury Beach. Ross's whole crew survived that while Crozier's fell like flies. Then, JC Ross and Crozier commanded Erebus and Terror to the Antarctic Expedition, a triumph... only 2 years before Crozier departed with Franklin. I feel that Crozier's personal failure would have burdened him when confronted to Ross who had never lost anything...

3) Humility and Reparation: It was undeniable that his men's actions in killing Silna's father was the trigger for their troubles. And her's. It's a mystery why she kept herself around the ships (even on her own she could have made it to her people in a week or so)... but she did and she did try to help her. Maybe Crozier saw that he had failed to conquer the North and now he must let himself be conquered? And contribute to their way of life?

4) Prospects: or rather, a lack thereof. He was not well to do (and now poorer because of the Irish Famine, which he would not know about but it still happened...), often dismissed by the Admiralty. They would never give him another command now, they might even trial and execute him for the loss of ships and crew... and , if not, he would have to go back to Sophia and Lady Franklin and tell them that Sir John died on his watch? (I think Sophia wouldn't have put that on him, but Crozier might believe differently at that time. Lady Franklin was vindicative, as shown by her mistreatment of John Rae following his reports of cannibalism). So, really, there was nothing left for him in England. Except his friendship with Ross and his connections to Edward Parry and Col. Sabine. But even those previous connections did not help him advance in his career and, as for Ross... see point 2).

So, I think the showrunners based their characters closer to the historical counterpart (although they did get stuff wrong) which means that...

Yeah, Crozier is a whole different character from the book (and so is Silna) so he would not have the same motivations.

I admit I couldn't finish the book. I went half way through and then there was one too many mention of a middle aged man having an erection to a teenager. Also Simmons basically called JCR incompetent wtf. Maybe I would get it if I forced myself to finish it but I just don't even understand what the whole deal with Silna and Crozier was 😅... the show's ending is the one that makes sense to me, ahah...

So that's that!

its interesting that in the final episode of the terror, they make silna go off alone but crozier stays in the village, and choose to stay there when some people come looking for him, what was his motivation for this 😭 did he just like living with his new bros

like in the book he stays with silna and they have a roving family of tuunbaq shamans or whatever, and its like his new better life away from dumb old england. but now silna is just wandering and hes just bumming with her family?

[funkymbtifiction]

I identify as 6w7 so/sp, and I think I participate in outsourcing sx to fictional sources, or to other people. I’m currently reading Anna Karenina, and while the entire book is good, I’m by far enjoying myself the most when reading from Anna/Vronsky’s perspective because what a whirlwind of emotion! I like romantic poetry for the same reasons.

I generally write poetry about either peaceful environments or about people I’m infatuated with. When I read Shakesperean sonnets I find myself agreeing, “Yes, people are art. People can be beautiful beyond measure. It feels like them not loving you back will destroy you.” And other sx-blinds have read my poetry and said things like “I forgot people actually feel this way, like they do in movies, where they say ‘you set me aflame, I’d die for you, etc.’” So I suppose I find it bizarre that I can (and by default, tend to) create emotionally intense writing focused around romance. Is that another instance of me “outsourcing” sx, since I tend to write rather than to go out and seek to attract/connect with people?

Yeah. It's a "safe space" for you to do it, without risking your own autonomy or sense of social "security" -- poetry is an acceptable place to "burn with passion" and to "be on fire." But you aren't actually doing any of it, so there's no way it can backfire on you, and that makes it feel less threatening to so/sp or sp/so.

It also makes me wonder if poets tend to be over-typed as sx, because it’s so much easier to convey passion and being swept away on paper. You have Emily Dickinson (sp/sx), Oscar Wilde (so/sx), Edgar Allan Poe (sp/sx), and I’ve seen most people describe Shakespeare as an sx-dom. Like I can write that someone is a goddess and I want to worship her one moment, but actually meeting her in real life would make me act like my normal, slightly guarded, jokey self (even if my brain is on fire at the same time.) Do you think it's possible to accurately gauge people's instincts from their writing?

Yes, I think sexual blindness is quite evident in a lot of authors (Jane Austen, Charles Dickens, etc). It's extremely noticeable in authors who write "sensible" romances, or whose characters fall in love over time rather than show any kind of sx-heat. (I grew up with this guy and we fought all the time, but suddenly I find him hot! Or I just fell in love with you somehow, it crept up on me!) Dickens even has an ant-sx slant in how he portrays sx-driven marriages as foolish and inclined to cause those involved in them misery -- his heroes often lose those wives and make a 'more sensible match' later.

Sx shows up in the intensity, heat, fire, passion, and "inflamed writing" of various authors (I would say Emily Bronte for sure), but whether they were actual sx-users or just using that as an outsource is debatable. Emily Dickenson showed no social, so I would say she's sp/sx by default. And Oscar Wilde lived a life of semi-open homosexuality in a time it could get him imprisoned (and went on trial for it), which suggest sp-blindness. I'm not sure about Shakespeare, but I also don't see any sx-blind romances in his stuff. It's all instant attraction/passion/chemistry and throwing yourself after it or being willing to die for it.

[brodependent]

Sam loves Dean as much as Dean loves Sam: a meta

Much as I love reading good meta, I don’t often write meta. Thus please accept my apologies if this is mediocre, and let me start with a simple topic sentence:

Sam loves Dean as much as Dean loves Sam.

A little longer, now: Sam is even better at loving Dean than Dean is at loving Sam because of Dean’s profound and abiding love for Sam.

Confusing, right? But not really.

We all know how Dean lives and breathes SammySammySammywatchoutforSammy. It’s his defining mission, his ultimate purpose, or, as a therapist might say, his “core belief.” But sometimes I think that we allow adult!Dean too little autonomy. We assume that he can’t help himself: he’s locked into this single-minded focus, on loving and protecting the only family he has left.

That sells Dean short. (Hang in there, I promise I’ll get to Sam in a moment.)

Even people who have been forced into a certain way of life have choices. Even people who have been told who they are all their life have choices. Dean tells us, in Season 14, I’m good with who I am--and I, for one, believe him. Whether we follow canon all the way to 15x17, when Dean is finally brought back from the edge of his desire for revenge against Chuck by his love for Sam (the only thing that’s “real”), or whether we keep to season 1 when Dean said--that’s all we have...that’s all I have... and I want us to be a family again and as long as I’m around, nothing bad is gonna happen to you--Dean has always accepted his role as Sam’s big brother. Dean’s life is unabashedly Sam-centric. He’d change a lot of things, but in the end he’d change nothing, because he wouldn’t change that. 

Some fans get very het up about the codependent aspect of this. Others (in my opinion, rightly) defend it. There’s scads of meta on why the Winchester dynamic IS necessary for their mythic role in the narrative, and their human role in the narrative (more importantly), so I won’t write that meta now. All I’m saying is what I think you already know: Dean lives for Sam, his baby brother, and despite the grief, the growing pains, the occasional cruelty of desperate love, Dean said it all when he told Sam (and us), Don’t you ever think that there is anything, past or present that I would put in front of you.

So where does that leave Sam, and his love for Dean? Let’s start with that line I just quoted. Building on the above, Dean’s goal in life is to give Sam a life. He wants Sam to be happy. He wants him to be free. He also wants to keep him by his side forever, to control him for safety and comfort’s sake, and sometimes those instincts of a frightened-child-turned-traumatized-man win out. Dean isn’t perfect. Dean’s full of contradictions. But time and again he goes back to stone number one: what he can do for Sam. What he can offer Sam, by being the grunt, by standing in harm’s way. 

When we begin the story, Sam has succeeded in the path Dean helped carve for him. I’m not taking all the credit from Sam here, and giving it Dean: merely pointing out that Dean stepped into traditional parental roles and helped send Sam into adulthood, even though that meant Sam leaving him. We know that the night Sam left for Stanford was one of the worst of Dean’s life, but even in mid-season 1, Dean tells Sam he’s proud of him. You always know what you want. You stand up to Dad. Hell, sometimes I wish I--

(this, of course, is beautifully echoed in the series finale itself)

Dean is telling Sam what so many parents tell their children: you have gone places I never could, accomplished goals I never could, grown in grace and understanding like I never could. At least, I like to think that’s what the best parents tell their children.

To Dean, Sam is always the one with more hope. More wholeness. More options. To Sam, Dean is stone number one. 

You asked how Sam loves Dean, and my answer is: just look. Look at how Sam goes out into the world young, stands up to their father, makes his own decisions, fights back against Dean’s own nihilistic narrative through their primary losses and setbacks. Dean gave Sam the safety to build a better worldview than Dean himself has, and Sam turns that right back around and tries to give it to Dean. 

What do you think my job is? You’re my big brother--there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. 

I can’t lose you.

You’re not a grunt, Dean, you’re a genius.

This is my life. I love it. But I can’t do it without my brother. I don’t want to do it without my brother.

I am going to save my brother. And then I’m going to kill you dead.

If you ever need to talk about anything with anybody, you got somebody right here next to you.

I believe in us.

This is just a small collection of Sam quotes showing his love for Dean. A small collection showing the persistent theme of Sam’s persistence. He knows that pushing chick-flick moments and emotional conversations can get jokes for a dime a dozen, and even the occasional punch thrown his way. He keeps at it anyway. When Sam knows Dean’s hurting, he wants to help. He’d do anything to help. He won’t sit around and see his brother turn into an embittered killer (season 2), go to hell for saving his life (season 3), take on the Trials (season 8), be irrevocably corrupted by the Mark of Cain (seasons 9-10), let him despair (seasons 11 and 13), let him sacrifice himself to an archangel’s grave (season 14), or let him lose his goodness to the whims of a vicious god (season 15). Sam fights for Dean with full use of his considerable gifts--intelligence, rationality, resourcefulness, and yes, the occasional blind rage. Sam looks to Dean, first as a leader, then as a judge, and finally as an equal. Sam has been looking up to Dean since he was four, yes, but over the course of the show he comes to look at Dean. With love, peace, understanding, humor, pain...whatever their inimitable connection requires.

The quotes I noted above also reveal Sam’s own conflicts rear up. Sam and Dean (again, in my opinion) are equally developed characters. Both have flaws and inconsistencies. Both have struggles inherent to their personalities and upbringings, distinct from those imposed on them by supernatural forces. 

Sam had a glimpse of a different life, once. He had the smarts, he had the drive, he had the sheer stubbornness to live a different life than John or Azazel or hell, even Lucifer had planned for him. But also in Sam--innate in Sam--is his core of goodness and compassion and the principle of doing right, which leads him back into the life and to soul-crushing sacrifice again and again.

Sam breaks and is broken. Sam suffers and ages and spends more time in hell than even Dean, who went to protect him.

But what keeps Sam going? Dean. Dean can’t live without Sam. We know that. The flip side is that Sam doesn’t want to live without Dean. Importantly, I think, he has more choice in the matter. Dean focused his whole childhood identity on giving Sam a life that meant he had choices, even if Dean didn’t know he was doing that. Sam can move through more crowds, more roles, more relationships. He has a better education, he has a more powerful ability to intellectually reason and detach. He would have made a great lawyer. Yet he casts all this aside out of sheer willpower, choosing instead to love Dean and live with Dean through the chaos of their lives, and to go near mad when Dean is gone. Consider Sam in season 4, Sam in season 10...Sam in season 8 trying to atone for the very choice that Dean (the best part of Dean) wanted him to make, even if the real muddle of Dean’s psyche couldn’t forgive him, for a time, for making it.

All of this leads us to the finale. 

You said you wish Sam had said I love you back to Dean in the finale. I argue that he did. He made his love perfectly clear to Dean in that moment by holding his hand, by looking in his eyes. He said, you can go now, when all he wanted was for Dean to stay. 

The best part of Dean wanted Sam to have happiness and freedom. At the end of his life, Dean was finally able to communicate that without fear or reservation. 

But the bittersweet brilliance of that moment is that Sam--the Stanford boy who went to hell and back, who saved the world, brought down one god and raised another--no longer wanted any kind of happiness or freedom that didn’t include the one person who’d been by his side all along. Dean was giving his blessing for a path that didn’t beckon Sam anymore. And yet: Sam said yes to it out of the love for Dean. Sam went out of that barn, out of the bunker, out of that day and that year and that decade and into the next and the next, out of love for Dean. Sam loved Dean by living. He loved Dean by raising another Winchester. He loved Dean by holding all their contradictions, flaws, and heroisms in his heart (in their car), until he’d done what he set out to do many times over. 

Then he met Dean on a mended bridge, dressed in old clothes that said: I was happiest at the beginning. I was happiest when we could be brothers again. I took my time getting here anyway, because I know that was what you wanted. I took my time so that we could be happiest now.

If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is.

[bookwyrminspiration]

No fitz hate, but I was wondering if u would want to talk about how in Flashback Fitz said something along the lines of staying with Lord Cassidy’s would be better than staying at everyone with Alvar? I just feel like it truly goes to show how the friend group is very blind to the pain Keefe has centering around his family, and how that lack of understanding is probably a factor of what led Keefe to running away. When u feel like no one understands u, u get this need to act like nothings wrong because otherwise you feel crazy, like maybe U DID this.

you will find no Fitz hate on this blog, only Fitz dissection as I break him apart like a poor little meow meow and try to figure out how he works.

and yes I would love to talk about this!! I believe the line you're talking about is:

"Is that your plan?" Sophie asked. "You want to live at the Shores of Solace? With Lord Cassius?"

"It's better than living with Alvar." on page 64 of Flashback.

Which is an interesting observation, though I don't think Fitz meant to downplay the trauma and emotional abuse that Keefe experienced while living there. Not that it makes his comments okay or not hurtful, just that it was unintentional. This interaction happened immediately after Fitz found out that Alvar would be moving back to Everglen, that he'd be living near someone he hated and used to look up to and who betrayed him. In his mind the trial was supposed to be a done deal, they'd go and Alvar would get sentenced to stay in that prison and then finally it would be over with and he wouldn't have to think about it anymore--but that's not how it went. So he is reeling and reacting with anger the way he usually does, not thinking through anything he's saying. He's getting mad at everyone, taking it out on everyone, and so I don't think he thought through his plan to stay with Lord Cassius.

In fact, right after the quote I gave he changed his mind and started looking for other options, suggesting Tiergan instead, just anywhere but Everglen. Maybe the entire reason he first thought Lord Cassius was just because Keefe was staying there as well and Keefe is his friend, despite the rockiness they're going through.

But back to your point. I think you're right. I think the group truly doesn't understand the pain that Keefe went through growing up with his parents. Sophie is probably the closest to knowing because she's seen his memories, and Tam and Linh are closest to understanding because they grew up in a similar environment.

The thing is, that's how Keefe wants it. If he could, he would've kept it from Sophie and all his friends. He doesn't like his parents and complains about them, but he truly doesn't want them to know about it. For years, he avoided talking about them, and the only reason he does now is because his parents have information and are involved, so he can't hide them anymore. And now everyone knows they're awful people, but at the same time there is so much information about Keefe's childhood that they don't have specifically because he's trying to prevent them from knowing. So I don't think it's necessarily everyone else's fault for not understanding him when he goes out of his way to keep that information from them.

I'm fairly certain I mentioned in a post analyzing Keefe that he felt running away at the end of Unlocked was right and that no one else could give input was because he was holding so much back. I'm going to quote myself hang on: "Keefe wasn’t listening to other people's input because he didn’t believe they had the full story. They didn’t understand everything going on with him, so their ideas and solutions would never be entirely accurate because they didn’t have the information he did, so he thought he was the most qualified to make the best decision. They were operating without vital information, he wasn’t." This is from the "The ending of Unlocked was in character, actually" post on my main character masterlist, and I think the concept is applicable here as well.

Fitz, in a moment of anger, claimed that living with Lord Cassius wouldn't be as bad as Alvar. He then went on to choose a different place to live moments later. All of this while operating without the vital information of what it's actually like to live with Cassius, information Keefe has and has intentional kept to himself.

To be clear, I'm not saying that Fitz should be absolved of every wrong he's ever committed, nor am I saying that Keefe should have shared that information. I'm only trying to find the reasoning behind why the interaction happened in the first place.

it actually reveals a lot about Keefe, seeing what information people have and what conclusions they come to, because it tells us what he will and won't share, and about what. Fitz is a conduit for that information in this moment. Yes, he ran away because people didn't understand him and he thought he was a better judge because he had more information, but he's also the reason the other's don't have that information if that makes sense.

[mutxnts]

1 10 46 and 78!!!

1. Favourite Attorney?

phoenix, of course!!! although i also like apollo :)

10. Favourite trial from all the games?

oh my god there are so many good ones to choose from, but either bridge to the turnabout from aa3 or turnabout succession from aa4! bridge is like the PERFECT case to end the trilogy on bc it really connects everything from the previous games and brings it all full circle. and turnabout succession is fantastic too bc we get a lot of backstory surrounding trucy and phoenix's relationship which i LOVE, along with more beanix content! the dynamic between klavier and kristoph is also really interesting, so that was fun to see during this case too.

46. Character you thought you were gonna dislike but loved in the end?

i feel like i could say this about most of the prosecutors in this game lol like when i first played the trilogy, i went into it with no knowledge of the games whatsoever so i really disliked miles at first. but of course, everyone starts coming around to him in turnabout samurai, and then turnabout goodbyes happens and everyone falls in love with him.

it was also kind of like that to an extent with franziska and godot for me as well, though not as much as miles. it's hard to see franziska's character development over the course of jfa bc she's very stagnant over the course of that game, but in farewell my turnabout, we do finally start to see how she changes. her changes are much more subtle, i think, purely bc of the way she was raised, so her character development isn't going to be as in your face as miles' was.

and with godot, i really think the concept of him is super cool bc here's someone who takes his love for someone a little too far. he's OBSESSED with getting his revenge and is completely blinded by that that he's no longer recognizable as the man he once was. god i could go on for a long time about him, but i will say that i think they really did ruin his character by making him sexist. he had so much potential, but then they threw that in and it was just completely unnecessary, while also falling into stereotypes

78. Who or what got you into AA?

one of my internet friends told me about the game in summer of 2021? and i think i bought the game right at the end of august of that year bc we were going on a road trip and i wanted something to play on my switch. i can't remember how he convinced me to play it lol but i'm so glad i did!

[goosefeathercore]

now that we have the backstory in blackfoot’s reckoning a lot of the choices made in those books make a lot more sense. of course the novella was mostly written to explain the fact that blackstar was a war criminal who murdered for tigerstar yet literally no one ever mentioned it and everyone was just like ‘seems legit’, but the little bit of insight helped me to understand him as a character. tbh it’s been a while since i’ve read blackstar era books, but I remember him being a pretty good leader and of course he made it into starclan. first of all, the sol arc seems a lot more reasonable now. blackstar definitely wasn’t stupid, and he did love his clan very much as well as his ancestors, so it didn’t make a lot of sense that he was so easily manipulated by sol. but, now we know that blackstar harbored guilt for most of his life, and he struggled with feelings of inferiority and self loathing because of that. from day 1 of his leadership, blackstar worried that he was too bad of a cat to lead his clan, but at the time he was the only cat in shadowclan who was capable of taking that position. by the time we get to power of three, we have a lot more strong characters in shadowclan who blackstar probably thought would be better leaders than him, but he was the one given 9 lives so he didn’t have the choice to give up his position. blackstar was extremely vulnerable to manipulation, despite his tough exterior. there are a multitude of ways sol could have done it, but my personal guess is that blackstar turned away from starclan because he thought they were wrong to give him 9 lives. I think this because of how quickly he took back the name blackfoot while associating with sol. it definitely wasn’t a villain arc or even an anarchy arc like AVOS, i think he was still just insecure and wanted shadowclan to have better than him, and sol gave him the opportunity to step down as leader by abandoning starclan.

it also makes a lot more sense now that the shadowclan cats accepted him so easily, because even if he was the only option i always thought that his association with tigerstar would’ve made them wary of him becoming leader. but blackfoot basically nursed the whole clan back to health, and he rebuilt shadowclan with tigerstar for purely selfless reasons, so of course his clanmates would trust his compassion and loyalty for his clan, because they saw him behind the scenes where we didn’t. sadly, i think this is also exactly why blackstar was never able to see himself as someone worthy of leading shadowclan. in blackfoot’s reckoning, we see that that he didn’t trust himself even before he got to the moonstone. personally, starclan’s mental trials and seeing how truly guilty he felt convinced me that he was a good cat at the core, and it was the right choice to make him leader, but for blackstar just reliving memories wasn’t enough to make him feel as though he’d redeemed himself. his clanmates loved him just as he loved them, but the fact that they all accepted him as leader without question never allowed blackstar the opportunity to apologize as he thought he should. i think his troubled arc as leader boiled down to his personal need for atonement. he always felt that he needed to atone for the things he had done, and the fact that he was so easily forgiven led him to carry that burden by himself.

i also think i understand why he killed stonefur without hesitation now. i don’t think blackfoot had a very concrete set of morals, and that’s ok. not everyone has a strong sense of what is right and what is wrong in their eyes and that doesn’t mean they’re bad people. i think blackfoot had more narrow values, like hollyleaf’s blind loyalty to the warrior code. to him, the right thing to do was always just to help shadowclan in any way he could, and he may have had lower empathy in general. (and i cannot stress enough that there is absolutely nothing wrong with having low empathy) so, as long as he believed someone had shadowclan’s best interest in mind, they were on the ‘right’ side of his moral compass. this explains why he supported tigerstar, but later went on to have drastically different values than tigerstar. tigerstar manipulated blackfoot into believing that he also cared deeply about shadowclan, and blackfoot didn’t have any plans for how he could save his clan, so he saw helping tigerstar as the best thing he could possibly do for shadowclan. i’m not saying that killing stonefur was ok, it was still very much awful, but what i’m saying is that blackfoot wasn’t evil, and that it was justified for starclan to make him leader. atm i believe that blackstar did make massive strives to better himself, and the guilt he felt proved that he knew what he did wrong, but lmk if anyone has a different interpretation!!