#well. this and also uni work lmao
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depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed
#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself#and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change#it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly#so there was somewhat of a gradual progression#but still#also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time#i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i#had been socially involved#anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change#and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find#the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever#and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha#(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically#it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni#ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that#but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped#and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr#i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years#and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it#and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing#kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao#i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school#and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build#--ing towards#which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now
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Man, knowing that I'm less than two weeks from my last final is really shaking me because I have so many things I said I'd do after I graduate and they're very close now!!!
One of them is going to be leaving all the discord servers I don't talk in and also pruning following / friends lists like hell and back. This will allow me to finally come off invisible on discord, and it'll be nice to have discord statuses available to me again ;~;
#sg.txt#for context I do not currently feel safe coming off invisible on discord#because there's this one guy in the one uni club i was in for a while#who has some fucking grudge against me for NO REASON#and since i would like to not be accused of seriously abusing them again#(they have me mistaken for SOMEONE ELSE ENTIRELY)#i have not spoken in that server or come off invisible in months#graduating means i can leave all those servers and then the fucker can't track me down anymore#it's also why i started looking for and then changed my url#and i'll also be updating my website domain as well!#then the only thing i have left to change is my email which i can't atm#because i need gdocs still#but ugh it'll be nice. that club was a great idea until they refused to kick that person out after they levied false accusations against me#i hate not standing my ground but it was so not fucking worth it#getting rid of all that shit will be nice#like bye university friends it was fun for a bit but i'm movin on now#(boston's foreplay long time starts blasting)#actually yeah lmao my graduation playlist consists of#boston's foreplay / long time; alice cooper's school's out; piko's the glorious unseen; and megurine luka's no logic#don't need any other songs just those four#wild#in other news i got wacup working
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yknow what I think I'm never gonna be good at art. It's at least like not for a long time and not without it being incredibly exhausting trying to force myself to draw. so like idk maybe I should. stop doing that? because I just draw and it turns out bad abd then I feel like shit abd I don't draw and feel like shit for not drawing and then when I do try to draw again I'm carrying that weight of like. It's been so long since I've drawn how can I call myself an artist + maybe I just atraigjt up can't draw and those few times I've made something decent are just a fluke because o stg I'm getting worse but also I'm probably not? But then art has just felt so much harder lately and 9 times out of ten I just give up ans feel like shit and that tenth time is just me thinking something is. Decent enough but still not good and posting it. like idk I got other hobbies. Other art forms. But I don't wanna give up on drawing because I do really enjoy it but also I haven't really been enjoying it lately but also I don't think I could live without it but also I'd really fucking like to be good but also the amount of stress that brings is. Idk it's like 1 am maybe I should just sleep I'll probably be more normal about this in the morning
#thjs isnt even like something im upset abkut its juat 1am and im thinkin#trjed drawing tonight#looked like shkt#usually does#satisfied the urge tk#*to draw ig?#but jts less satisfaction at creating and more well that was fuckinf shit why try again#idk i shouldnt be judging my art by the metric of whether its good enough to post#but also i love enagaging qith people through my art#hut my art isnt good enough fkr that yet#been drawing for years and yeah im better than i was but im not *good* yk#especially not compared to my peers who arent knly drawing better than me but more frequently and consistently#while i get exhausted after drawing one thing#feels like im doing something wrong bjt idk what#agh#whatever#pribably something to do with thr 5+ hobbies + work + uni im stretched between but fucckin whatever#me.txt#lmao morning mes gonna crimge so hard at this shit
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I PASSED MY INTERVIEW AND I GOT THE PHD PLACEMENT!!!!!!!!
#:)#i start in october and other than some clerical stuff when i get my formal acceptance i am fully set!#also i got offered a place on the teacher training scheme because my presentation was super impressive like this is huge#plus my supervisors are both my highest rated tutors who i work super well with#so by every metric this is the best possible outcome i could have attained#sitting in the uni cafeteria trying to process this and not bounce off the walls. lmao
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uni on monday. kicking myself into the sun.
#the uni groupchat is waking up again and when i saw the notifications on my phone i threw up in my mouth a little#i hate wrocław. i hate that uni. and i have such an insanely toxic relationship with the girl who's my uni-friend? ig?#the thought of seeing her again makes me go insane with this ridiculous fucking anxiety which is stupid af cause i really do like her#its just that arghhhhhhhhhh#anyway. the closer i am to monday the more i think about dropping out#also ive been doing so well with my ed. but going back means Going Back. so all that progress will probably go to shit all over again lmao#my internet is kinda working rn (not really it took like 10 hours for tumblr to load) so im using it to vent about uni hell yeah#sorry if you texted me and im not responding - the dms wont load 🫠
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story time with sari 😀
#im working on my CV rn and it made me rmb my first job at uni and how it ended and oh god why#i had to quit bc my mental health was so fucking shitty i couldnt deal with the work load so i went to one of my colleagues whos-#responsible for us student workers and i told him i had to quit and he asked why and i said bc of my health bc i cant lie but also didnt-#wanna tell the full truth and he very carefully asked whats wrong and i said i didnt wanna talk abt it was so awkward#AND THEN#at the time he wasnt only a phd student but also doing his psychotherapy training (insane man) and he happened to work at the practice-#where i went to get therapy at the time so basically what happened was that i sat in the waiting area and suddenly he comes walking around-#the corner and we just look at each other like 👁👄👁#and he left bc he was with a client but ten minutes later he came back super nervous and reassured me that hes under-#patient therapist confidentiality and that he wont tell anyone at work that he saw me there etc etc and it was NICE#but it was also . such a weird situation and my lil anxious mind was like well at least he knows i wasnt fucking lying !#why would he think that in the first place but oh well dhjdjdk#anyways i just got reminded of this bc i read the certificate i got from working there and it said i quit out of my own choice hdjdj#ah memories#also reminded me how im in a much better place now mentally which is nice bc i felt rock bottom yesterday lmao#okay story time with sari is over i gotta get back to writing that CV
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why does Stuff (tm) take up so much energy
#i slept till almost 9.30#stayed in bed till 10#now decorated some cookies with my sister for two hours and am ready to sleep#she melted the chocolate and put it on the cookies#prepared everything#made the dough yesterday#she'll probably tidy/clean too because she can't leave messes behind#(or is bad at it)#she does so much stuff is2g#i kinda mentioned dropping out and she was like 'don't you like uni?' and i just. couldn't tell her I'm doing jackshit cause she rn has#exam after exam and is constantly studying besides so having to work and going out with friends while i don't even attend classes#she has depression as well#she says she's always crying#also still goes dancing#like#what is my life what am i doing why am i like this#'maybe structure from outside will help' yeah sure if i went to uni maybe#i know i need to work and it might even go well for some time but#i always fall back into old patterns#like full offense but i really am just failing at life lmao#imagine being this legitimately useless
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my perception of grades totally changed since i started uni
#in school i just did the bare minimum a pass was fine and a 3 great#it's insane to think about it how little i did like for a lot of subjects not at all and if i did i'd study like 2 hrs the day before 😭#and i thought this was studying hard or if i studied 3 hrs at least whaaat#well for some subjects i did a bit more#but like it is no comparrison#at uni i also did study the day before a few times but then i did an 8hr session#(i might just need to do that tmrw but the thing is the exam is one you can't study for so literary idk what i'd study so long for??)#(or how to study... it's translation but how tf do you study translation it's highly subjective and there are no practice exercises)#(i will probably just look at the notes)#but anyway for my last exam i spent 5 hrs in the library a day and i already started 2 weeks before (altough just in smaller bits)#but bumped it up exam week i did like 2-3hrs on average a day#even if i start too late like i did for one of the hardest test of my studies i only studied for 2 days but like all day or 10hrs sth a day#it by far exceeds the 2hrs lmao and even that was very little for this exam many studied 2 weeks but like i got a good grade so it's okay#but my point is now that i get better grades good one's a C is a massive disappointment for me 😅#unless it was a really difficult one then i'd take it but like it upsets me#a teacher once told me when i got a c on an exam quite a few failed that many would be happy to have that grade well true tbh but i can't#and once i almost cried because i got a C because i thought it was an easy course but it was an oral exam and i'm worse in these#(because in written i often remember the answer later in the exam and then go back but in oral i can't do that)#well that was embarrassing😭 i'm trying to never do that again so if i get asked how i feel abt it say it's okay ig#but sometimes even a B is meh 😅 especially if an A was possible and it was an easy course/exam#i want more A's less B's tbh B's also because i really want to go abroad and raise my grade average for that#i want to go from a B average to an A something average to improve my chances#but yeah younger me wouldn't believe this 😂#i really want to study harder to make that step up to more A's than B's like uni does come quite easy to me#and while i study way more compared to others i still get away with less effort and good results but i could have excellent grades#on the one hand it's good that i improved so much on the other those expectations might not be because i'm almost never satisfied anymore 😅#and i know it's kind of really unimportant because there are real problems and also many uni students struggle to pass their classes#it's maybe even a bit disrespectful because they'd be happy to have these grades and i should be more grateful#but i swear i don't look down on anyone with worse grades i know how difficult it can be and also how outside factors play a role#some have it more difficult some have to work a lot next to uni or really suffer from mental illness besides no one's brain is the same
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currently working again on my tumblr website and my brain is going to fry
#i'm getting sm stuff right#i'm getting confused lmao#also i should be doing uni works now but oh well
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Being back is currently all about email email send another email answer to email read email email email reality check to see what's the status of different emails
#I don't mind it that much tho#I mean. it's basically prep work for the upcoming semester#which means I'll probably have a new week schedule by the first week of january#not bad#looking forward to it a bit :)#only thing that worries me atm is actually sending the emails :') I always fear I will look like a fool for some reason :'')#also I will get to participate to a choir once more<3 (this time I also get academic credits because it's a course I have to take lmao)#oh! and I have to give lessons on (at least) one day of the week because I sub for another teacher#I hope I manage to keep them all in the same day. I think it'd make it easier to do some time blocking with all the other stuff#ahhh this is exciting <3#should remember to keep studying for my uni exams tho lol#I'm trying not to think of my future master because I don't really think it's worth to think over while I'm not really close to finish#maybe I'll just check out the deadlines and see what's the latest one? So I know until which date I can postpone the problem?#anyway hope your day is going well <3#my post
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14 days until more juno steel .. i am normal
#if this second citadel arc is 3 episodes i will be .. glad because i love second citadel and am very intrigued about this arc#caroliiine bbgirl you know#but i juno steel. bbgirl also#want to start tpp binge 3 VS want to watch doctor who cos i started it recently VS want to do spend sooo much time on uni work#FIGHT#the uni work thing isn't a big deal i Am studying politics in the uk after all#been on vacation since i got here and fun fact i got the highest marks out of all the people in my grade in pol-ir last year#like. lmao i guess? i need to spend less time insulting english people so i will stop here#i knowww i am in a shit uni and shouldn't generalise i know it#but 'the english are just stupid i'm sorry there's nothing more to it' had being a daily saying in this house#REGARDLESS#don't cancel me for this#this post was about juno steel#come back to meeeee my loooove#missing the rest of the carte blanche as well :((
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aspen graduateddd
#hotseoksims#hshsy#im honestly just happy graduation worked for me ive never played with it but i saw that it can be messy so good that everything worked well#almost cried fr the attachment i have to aspen is unhealthy & must be studied.#anyway i have set up britechester for him & i've had him apply for scholarships - he had like 9 scholarships available for him 😭#but i chose just the e-sports one since it ties in to his degree.#hes also a young adult now but nothing about him has changed so its not obvious lmao#i think i will wait until autumn in game before having him go to uni idk... i'll see how i feel in game
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♢ᴘᴇᴛ ɴᴀᴍᴇꜱ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ♢
naruto, sasuke, shikamaru, kiba, shino, neji, iruka & kakashi
a/n: sooo,, i SHOUld be working on my uni essays and on the bf!neji texts BUT this had been sitting in my notes app for a while so i decided to post it ;D (the neji texts will come soon i promise). some are longer, some are shorter for which i apologise,,,,,, please ignore typos, i can't spell & enjoy MWUAH
likes & reblogs appreciated <3
warnings: some NSFW parts! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! :) also not proofread as usual
masterlist
♢ɴᴀʀᴜᴛᴏ ᴜᴢᴜᴍᴀᴋɪ♢
✿oh my baby boy
❀first off: angel. 100%.
✿because u are his angel u feel me
❀he can't go a day without telling u
✿then also just the basic baby
❀but mostly when he wants something from u or he's apologising for dumb stuff he's done
✿puppy eyes and all
❀and also during sexy time
✿it's his most used name for u there
✿fight me on this
❀big on his own self made nicknames for u
✿for instance: u fell down the stairs once?
❀"hey, stairs, how you doin'"
✿and just silly ones like: boo, pookie, apple of my eye
❀he's weird like that c'mon we been knew
♢ꜱᴀꜱᴜᴋᴇ ᴜᴄʜɪʜᴀ♢
✿now this guy is a wild card
❀he'd prefer ur name through & through
✿but he'd slip in a casual babe sometimes which makes ur knees weak obviously
❀because he barely ever calls u that
✿if ur married he'd only call you his wife
❀doesn't even let you answer questions on your own sometimes just so he can hit them with
❀"well, MY WIFE, thinks you suck ass, so.."
✿during sex he can be quiet mean
❀I DONT THINK in the derogatory way but more in a teasing way
✿"c'mon, sweetheart, look at me."
❀when ur just about to black out??
✿but like i said
❀not big on pet names but he'll use them more often if he knows u enjoy it <3
♢ꜱʜɪᴋᴀᴍᴀʀᴜ ɴᴀʀᴀ♢
✿pretty
❀just pretty bro.
✿not ALL THE TIME, especially not in public as i don't think he's big on PDA
❀but in the comfort of ur own 4 walls? definitely
✿now don't HATE ME for this but,,,
❀woman. and brat.
✿but only in petty situations, like when ur scolding his lazy ass and he hits u with a "go easy on me, woman, i just woke up."
❀or u've been going on his nerves while he's working
✿,,i'm busy, brat.''
❀in bed tho???
✿love or doll
❀i'm almost CERTAIN.
✿like,, can u imagine?? in his dumb fucking charming voice ???
❀PFFF i'm on my knees
♢ᴋɪʙᴀ ɪɴᴜᴢᴜᴋᴀ♢
✿now this fucker
❀teasing names through & through
✿ur shorter than him?
❀"hey, shortie, need help?"
✿ur taller than him?
❀"hey, giant, how's the weather up there?"
✿he's a DICK ok (affectionately ofc)
❀but he can be sweet too i promise
✿he's having fun with calling u bunny during sex or simply baby
❀also ???? "okay, boss." when he's been annoying u all day and u finally snap at him?
✿he's a menace with nicknames i'm telling u
♢ꜱʜɪɴᴏ ᴀʙᴜʀᴀᴍᴇ♢
✿you probably guessed it and bully me if you'd like but,,,
❀bug or lovebug
✿come oooon he loves his bugs AND he loves you?? it fits PERFECTLY
❀not one to do it infront of other people either but in your private space he just wouldn't stop calling you one of these
✿i also see him using the regular honey but the abbreviation so hun because it's short and sweet and he doesn't like those long ass names
❀apologies if ur name is long LMAO mine is too tho
✿takes the hun into the bedroom but prefers a gentle love while having sex
❀shino's not a sweet talker in my mind, but the pet names make up for it FOSHOU
✿ALSO big brain idea i just had:
❀i think shino can't fully express his emotions verbally so before going on missions he definitely writes u letters and that's where he's blooming
✿''u keep me going everyday, sunshine.''
❀and it doesn't even matter if you have a bubbly personality or not
✿UGH lovesick fr
♢ɴᴇᴊɪ ʜʏᴜɢᴀ♢
❀this pretty princess doesn't even know ur name when ur alone with him
✿ESPECIALLY when ur texting
❀sweetheart, love & darling
✿he'd make u fall in love over again whenever he calls u one of those i'm just saying
❀because he's always so sincere when he's talking to u it drives me crazy just thinking about it
✿during sexy time too, he would NEVER
❀& i will die on this hill
✿NEVER use any degrading names for u
❀ur his baby don't make him do that
✿even when ur fighting, he'd always address u in such a kind way i'm actually going insane
❀"have you had dinner yet, dear?"
✿ sedate me pls
♢ɪʀᴜᴋᴀ ᴜᴍɪɴᴏ♢
✿AAA this guy
❀soo,, like father like son,,, angel
✿u can't change my mind
❀being the kind hearted person he is, it just fits u can't tell me off
✿but i will also say he'd use some funny ones in private because we all know he's just a silly lil guy deep inside
❀i'm thinking toots & peach
✿especially when greeting u !! like ''ey, toots, how's it going?''
❀during sex he will be quiet awkward at the start of ur relationship, settling in angel as he's most familiar with it at first
✿but after some time he'd pull a babydoll or gorgeous on u
❀i mean,,, i'd cry but idk about y'all
✿oVERALL he loves using pet names and wouldn't be opossed to u calling him some sweet ones as well <3
❀call him handsome and he'll go through the roof
♢ᴋᴀᴋᴀꜱʜɪ ʜᴀᴛᴀᴋᴇ♢
✿AHEM
❀so this man,,
✿at the start of ur relationship he's such a shy lil bean so he'll only use your first name
❀but once he's been with you long enough he gets so so comfortable
✿starts of with the regular baby because u are his baby aight.
❀his most frequently used one too i'd say
✿but then he'd go like
❀"hey, beautiful." "y'alright, sweetheart?"
✿and idk about u but i'd faint
❀HE KNOWS ABOUT HIS AFFECT ON U TOO
✿uses it against u during sex SO OFTEN
❀grunting a "there y'go, darling." into your ear with a sly smirk on his lips
✿i'm (s)creaming
❀but he's a very private person so don't expect too much of that in public !!
✿a side from a "yes, ma'am" when u tell him not to die on a mission <3
a/n: i hope this doesn't SUCK ahemm,,, and i'll see you beans next time bye bye x
devider by @enchanthings
#naruto x reader#naruto headcanons#naruto uzumaki x reader#sasuke x reader#sasuke uchiha x reader#sasuke headcanons#sasuke uchiha#sasuke#shikamaru#shikamaru nara#shikamaru x reader#shikamaru nara x reader#kiba x reader#kiba inuzuka x reader#kiba#kiba inuzuka#shino x reader#shino aburame x reader#shino#shino aburame#neji x reader#neji hyuga x reader#neji#neji hyuga#iruka#iruka umino#iruka x reader#iruka umino x reader#kakashi#kakashi hatake
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hi! I love the way you write and I’d love to see some Daniel Ricciardo or Oscar Piastri content!! Older brother’s best friend and something including model!reader or figureskater!reader. I also cannot begin to describe how much I love your Taylor song based fics. I was hooked on Style and Dress, thank you, have a wonderful day :)
𝐈 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐒𝐄𝐄 𝐘𝐎���� .ೃ࿐
𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: you don't have much in common with oscar piastri other than three things: you're both rare talents, you know each other through your older brother, and that, unknowingly, you both really like each other.
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: older brother's best friend trope! (although not heavily enforced), suggestive but nothing crude, poor ice skating knowledge, mentions of the spa track, crashing and DNFing, reader likes to blame things on alcohol, lily (oscar's current gf) is his ex (oops), slight diss of tsitp, jealousy!!!, scene of harassment and a creepy man, a physical altercation in which oscar gets physically hurt, attending the wounded scene! (sobbing rn), a cute and horribly cheesy, fluffy ending!
𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: oscar piastri x figureskater!fem!reader, arthur leclerc x reader
𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 5k+ (um srry hehe)
𝐀/𝐍: i wanted to this was oscar but since he's kinda young, i did a one year age gap bc the territory of 'the older brother's best friend' for piastri is alarming to say the least. i also assumed it was a female reader due to my other works, hope that and this whole piece is okay!!
𝐏.𝐒: if you couldn't tell, it's loosely based off of taylor swift's 'i can see you' bc i ended up losing track lmao. sorry for taking FOREVER but coming back from holiday, going straight back into uni, and having writer's block is the worst combo 🤧 as usual, poorly proof read!
𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓
⋆ •°. 。 .°• ⋆
In a world of billions, quite strangely yet only logically, there were many talented people across the globe. But very few were be a World Champion let alone the opportunity. You were part of this few. The Youngest World Champion in figure skating in history, a two-time World Champion and the 2022 Olympic winner.
You were a living legacy in your town.
Of course, you couldn't do it without the support of the people you loved. Your parents attended all your competitions. In fact, your father was the one who had brought you to the ice when you were three. And your brother, no matter how much of a menace he was, he was your number one fan. Despite all the things he had to do, he was always there for you.
Your brother was one of those Australian boys who had turned their passion for dirt biking into a career for motorcross racing.
Naturally, he had found a friend who was also very interested in racing. However, instead he loved driving a open wheel single-seater formula racing car at crazy speeds. That friend was Oscar Piastri. A childhood best friend of your brother's and a sort of acquaintance slash family friend of yours.
It worried you two see some of the most important people in your lives risk death almost every day but you enjoyed watching them do something they loved.
You could see it in their eyes when they raced. It was the same passion you had for the ice. The slivers of ice that occasionally touched your skin thrilled you was the same excitement that coursed through the two Aussies when they felt their engines rev.
It was odd. You could've sworn a few days ago, you were all kids playing in the backyard of your house; your brother riding his toy bike while Oscar raced him on foot and you commentated in Oscar's favour to piss your brother off. And now all three of you were leading your careers: you were a competitive figure skater, your brother was slamming the MXGP and Oscar was one of the best rookies introduced to F1 in a while.
Where time had gone... you could not even begin to wonder. Heck, once upon a time you were staring down Oscar in the school hallways because for some reason you could only talk to him outside of school. And now... well, it was complicated to say the least.
You had always liked Oscar. It was difficult not to. He was always around you. The boyish charm, the small smiles, the puppy brown eyes, his offers to help you with your homework, you visiting him when he raced... everything had built up inside you. It was festering.
But that's how you liked it. You didn't want to cross any lines. As heart-racing and flustering as your crush on him was, you could not bear the idea of telling someone who was brotherly to you that you liked him.
It was repulsing.
And as far as his dating history could went, Oscar didn't like you. Oscar wasn't a player but he definitely didn't like being single from what you could tell.
To be honest, considering you didn't see him that much due both of your schedules, nothing between the both of you would've ever happened if you're annual family holiday hadn't happened.
Your family and the Piastri's took time out at least once a year to relax together. And this year, your brother and Oscar's breaks overlapped, and you had persuaded your coach for two weeks off. That was all the both of your parents needed before booking a trip to Greece. Everyone wanted to go when they were younger and now they could finally go.
Two weeks... not much could happen. At least so you thought.
The moment you saw Oscar in Greece, your heart thumped against your chest like it had never before and you knew you were screwed. It was ridiculous. How after all the time did you still like this stupid driver? He was the root cause of your lonely love life. Which for most figure skaters was not a big deal... you had prospect lovers falling left and right. Especially the guys in pair skating. But no... you were head over heels for Oscar out of all people.
With the firm boundaries you had made, you ventured to not make a big deal about what you were feeling and pushed it to the side. But the thing about pushing things away, they have a funny way of coming back up.
━━━━━━━━━━━
On the first night of your much needed vacation, you had found one of the most popular restaurants in Santorini while endlessly browsing through social media and decided to get everyone out of the lovely AirBnB you had rented. Upon arriving, your parents and Oscar's were cooped up on one side of the dining table, leaving the 'kids', as your mother calls you three, on the other.
You released a sigh of content, feeling the crisp breeze dance past your skin in the warm summer evening air while your sip of assyrtiko (Greek white wine) slipped past your throat far too easily. Thank God you had chosen an outdoor restaurant tonight. Every time you were on holiday, you couldn't be more grateful to get away from all the stress. If you could live like this every day, with the warm breezy evenings and the amazing architecture, you would.
"So," your mother started, her voice hitting your direction. You flickered your gaze over to her, raising a brow. "How are my kids' love lives? Are you getting down?" She waggled her eyebrows behind her glasses.
A wave of heat pricked your skin at your mother's words. "Mom!" You hissed out in disbelief while your father and Oscar's parents chuckled.
"What? You guys never tell me anything anymore! I used to be the holder of all your secrets and now... now I am an old woman!" Your mother cried, wiping an invisible tear off of her cheek.
You and your brother blankly looked at her and then towards each other. To say your mother was a character was an understatement. She enjoyed her theatrics far too much for anyone's liking, more specifically you're liking.
Oscar grinned, reaching out his hand to hover over hers. "You could never be an old woman. Always young in my heart."
Your brother snorted at Oscar's cheesiness. After you and your brother, Oscar was your mother's son and Oscar was a suck-up. He liked being in the good books, especially that of your mother's.
"Of course," Your mother chuckled softly, patting Oscar's hand gently. She sucked in a sharp breath. "What happen to you and Lily? I heard you two broke up? I thought you liked her a lot?"
You could see Oscar tense at the mention of his ex, your own body rigid. It wasn't a surprise to you but you actually hated hearing about Oscar's love life. Unrequited feelings were already a bitch and you didn't need to make it any worse.
Oscar cleared his throat, a small smiling tugging at his lips. "I thought I did too..." He trailed off, falling into his own trance momentarily. Suddenly his eyes flickered around his surroundings before they landed on you. "I guess I just saw something I else I liked a lot more."
A slight shiver crept down your spine and your heart travelled towards your ears. You pressed your lips tightly together, furrowing your brows.
What the fuck?
You snapped your eyes away, firmly placing them on your empty plate that suddenly held your entire world. Oscar had never ever looked at you like that. Any time you looked into those puppy browns, they were usually some mix between happy, anger, annoyance, sadness, humour, and the God forbidden 'I-see-you-as-my-sister' type love.
But this... this was something else entirely. The softness of his gaze, his words, the timing of it all; a perfect execution of sorts... it was a first.
Maybe you had taken one too many sips of the wine. It was the only reasonable explanation behind your obvious hallucination.
Sooner or later, the sun would set, a main reason behind your picking of the restaurant. The parents and your brother were at the front of the house, arguing about who paid for tonight's dinner. You were more than happy to wait it out on the balcony and revel in the last few rays of light, eyes closed and the breeze dancing across your skin.
"Well don't you look happy," Oscar voice stated, nearing you.
You opened your eyes, slightly turning your head to the side only to look back a few second later. Oscar and sunsets... you enjoyed that combo far too much for your liking.
"That's because I am. Sometimes being off the ice is refreshing," You told him, taking in a breath of the fresh evening air.
Out of your peripheral vision you could see Oscar tilt his head, eyes raking over you with a small grin tugging at his lips. You ignored the pace of your heart as he nodded at your remark, settling in next you with his hands on the balcony bar, a mere inch away from your own.
"I hear that," Oscar sighed, looking out at the horizon.
You forced yourself to look over at him, trying to read his mind after hearing the burdened sigh he released. "Oscar... I hope you know you're doing well in F1 right now. You're doing pretty good compared to Lando's rookie year."
Oscar smiled gently. You knew him far too well. "I know. I just... I feel like everyone's expecting so much more of me. Podiums... race wins... like everything else I've done. And then Spa came along."
You winced at the mention of the track. Oscar had collided with Carlos on the very first lap. Carlos said Oscar was too optimistic about making that turn and Oscar said that he didn't even know what Carlos doing; that the Spaniard turned as if he wasn't even on the track. Nevertheless, the collision resulted in both of them DNFing.
You snorted. "Spa is a shit track," You dismissed Oscar's current pessimism with a wave of your hand.
Oscar chuckled at your crudeness. He couldn't disagree with you. Spa was one of those tracks which felt auspicious to any driver. The one where you hoped you at least passed the finishing line. It didn't matter what your position was... as long as you passed it, you were okay.
"Guys come on! We've finished paying," Your brother called out.
The both of you turned around. Oscar pushed himself off of the bar, heading towards your brother. "Who won this one?" He asked in amusement, hands gliding past his waist. Ever so gently, in his walk, he teetered towards you, letting his hand brush past your own, sending a tingle down both of you.
You gulped at the racing feeling, immediately pulling your hand closer to yourself. This hairs of your body stood straight and your fingers felt numb. Heck, you felt numb.
Damn, you thought, this is some crazy good wine.
━━━━━━━━━━━
The thing about your inclination to blame everything on the alcohol you consumed was that it only actually worked if you consumed alcohol. You were lucky if you could extend to the remaining bits by a day with the claims of a hangover.
But right now, you were sober as hell.
An unfortunate event, to say the least.
"Y/N, wake up," Oscar's voice pounded against your blanketed, muffled ears.
"Ugh, no" You groaned, cocooning yourself into your blanket and pressing your head further into your pillow, savouring the warmth.
You always had such early mornings when you trained, waking up at ungodly hours only to workout before heading to the rink. Being on the ice was the only thing you loved. Your fans were sweet but everything else after that, the press, the workouts, the food, sucked. So you cherished the late summer morning in Santorini. And no person, let alone a boy who announced his F1 team to you by saying "I'm driving for a papaya", was going to ruin this for you.
Oscar put his hands on his hips, eyeing you with a twitch in his eye. "But breakfast is ready. I cooked!"
You laughed into your sheets lightly. "Oh boy, that's even worse!"
Oscar looked at your peeking head and humoured eyes blankly. "That," he started to say as he began to literally pull you out of your bed by your arms, "is very very rude thing to say to the chef."
"Oscar, no! Let go!" You begged, hands flailing to attach themselves to anything. Falling on the hard cold floor was not the ideal morning for you.
At least not alone.
You jutted out your leg, nudging Oscar's to the side, making him stumble over his steps. As he quickly realised he was losing balance, he threw his body under yours, creating a soft landing for you as you both fell to the floor.
You were laughing too hard to realise Oscar's one hand had even moved to your waist and the other to your head, as if it was to protect you from getting hurt.
"Oh my God! You should've seen your face! It was like–" You turned to mimic his expression but you couldn't find the words. All the air around you had been seized, your throat was dry and you were breathless.
When had Oscar's face become so close to yours?
You couldn't remember the last time you were this close to him. Probably as a child. He was cute back then as well. But growing up changed the both of you. The most apparent reminder of how old you were was the tiny short hairs from his chin that he always tried to shave off. His eyes were still as brown as ever, less big because he grew into his face. And his lips... they were kissable.
His face was also littered with freckles here and there. You didn't even realise your finger had shot out to play connect the dots with them until you could feel his faint warm breath from how close you were.
Your eyes trailed up his face to find his gaze firmly planted on yours. Suddenly you could feel where his hands were and your skin burned at his touch. The current heatwave in Europe had left you in some thin pyjamas. You didn't regret it last night but you definitely regretted wearing them right now.
Hypnotised, you found yourself leaning in naturally. Oscar's head also nudged forward. Your lips were barely a centimetre away from each other. You could hear your name slip out of Oscar's lips as the faintest whisper. Like it was a struggle to say your name because he couldn't think.
His woody and amber scent engulfed you and for a second, you couldn't think.
Not until you could hear your brother scream both of your names from the kitchen, demanding you to come to breakfast.
You blinked, falling out of your trance as quickly as you fell in.
Oscar felt you jerk in his arms suddenly, pushing yourself out of his hold and attempting to stand up. "Y/N, I–"
No. God, no.
You weren't ruining a friendship over this.
You could pretend. Yes. Pretend. You can't see him.
"We're coming!" You yelled back, feeling your cheeks redden with embarrassment and annoyance; both vexing feeling for yourself.
God, what a day to be sober.
━━━━━━━━━━━
Honestly how this holiday had gone from zero to a hundred was beyond you.
Pretending like nothing had happened in your room was harder than you thought. Not when Oscar looked at you with these burdened eyes and like he had something to say to you, right on the tip of his tongue.
You considered avoiding him. But doing so on a family trip was easier said than done. Besides, it would've been pretty obvious to everyone else and knowing your family, they would've made a big deal out of nothing. Because that's what it was: nothing.
But alas, you have a brother. And normally, he's stupid and self-obsessed to the point it bordered on unhealthy. But as your brother, it seemed he had some sort of sixth sense for these sorts of things. Something about the older sibling being superior or whatever lies he convinced himself with.
"Why are you being weird with Oscar? Your brother asked you while you ate some ice cream and caught up with the new season of 'The Summer I Turned Pretty'. At first, you couldn't fathom watching a character called 'Belly' out of all things but somehow you got hooked.
You paused the scoop of ice cream you put in your mouth, letting it slowly melt away as you stared hard at your nuisance of a brother. "I have literally no idea what you're talking about."
"Ha, nice try. You're supposed to use 'literally' when you deny it the second time," Your brother smiled at you smugly.
You pressed your lips together, feeling your teeth slightly grind against your spoon. You couldn't decide whether you wanted to smack the shit of your brother with a spoon or bury him in a six-foot deep hole.
"Come on, lil sis, you can talk to me. Everyone's out of the house right now," He partially jested while being entirely serious.
Burying him in a hole it was.
"I have nothing to say to you," You stated, eyes reverting back to your show.
Your brother narrowed his eyes, grabbing the remote to pause the episode. Ignoring your exclaim of annoyance, he sat down next to you and took your ice cream and spoon away from you to dig into the pint for himself.
You shuddered in disgust. You were not having that flavour for a while.
He pointed your spoon at you. "I know you think I'm stupid, which I may be, but I'm not entirely an idiot. What happened with you and Oscar? You were all happy buddies a few days ago. Now he looks like a lost puppy and you look like you saw Pennywise in the hallway."
You bit down on your lip to prevent yourself from laughing. You couldn't actually let him know he was funny.
"Did he do something to you? Y/N, if he did something wrong to you I swear to God... just tell me and I will end him."
Your eyes widened at the sudden change of the conversation. Sitting up, you waved your hands in urgent dismissal. "No! Oh my God, nothing like that! Holy shit."
Your brother let a relieved exhale fall from his mouth before furrowing his brows. "Then what happened? Is it your stupid crush on him?"
"I–what?" You asked dumbfounded, looking at your brother incredulously.
"Your crush? Like the one you've had since you first laid eyes on him. You know everyone knows right? It's kinda obvious. Well, everyone but Oscar," your brother said nonchalantly.
You blinked blankly at him. "Before I throw myself off of a cliff, I can give you the generous choice of how you die? Personally I'm thinking asphyxiation, arson, or murder."
Your brother gulped, slowly putting away the ice cream. "Okay, first off stop watching Criminal Minds so much. Second of all, you don't need to feel embarrassed. All of us have been secretly rooting for you. Especially mom and Oscar's mom. You should've seen how happy they got when I told them Oscar and Lily broke up. It was seriously creepy."
You sighed, falling onto the couch. "It doesn't matter how creepy it was. We almost kissed! And then you called for us. Any later, I would've ruined our friendship. What's the point anyways? He doesn't like me. I'm gonna die in the friendzone," You dramatically sobbed out.
"Well you can start by not turning the other direction when you see him. Poor guy looks like you killed his dog. Do you think a guy who's dog was killed has any guts to speak to their murderer? And that's beside the fact that he may like his murderer."
Where was that shovel again?
"You know what you need to do? Do something that makes him talk to you. I got it! I could set you up with Arthur! He's in Santorini too! Oscar would hate it."
"Oh my God... do you want me to die?" You asked, slightly horrified at the look of pure joy on your brother's face .
Your brother grinned. "Of course, I do. Would I be your brother if I didn't?"
━━━━━━━━━━━
For as long as he could remember, Oscar was a peaceful guy. He didn't really get angry quickly. He was usually calm and usually could think before he acted.
But all those characteristics were thrown out the window, well into the air of the music festival everyone decided to attend, when he saw you walk into the event with Arthur Leclerc. His former teammate out of all people.
"Is that Arthur? Why is he here?" Oscar asked your brother.
"Hmm?" Your brother turned around, pretending to squint at the two of you briefly before catching your piercing gaze. "Oh yeah... that is him. He told me he was in Greece. Guess he found Y/N first. Makes sense I guess."
Oscar looked at your brother dubiously. "I... what does that even mean?"
"I don't know why but I always got the feeling he liked Y/N," your brother shrugged.
Oscar blinked. "You're taking the fucking piss..." He huffed in disbelief.
"What? Oh? Here they come."
Truth be told, Arthur was more than happy to oblige with your brother's game. He hadn't seen Oscar in a while because they were in different championships now. Getting the opportunity to play with him a bit was a hard offer to turn down.
"Ozzie!" Arthur cheered, bringing him into a hug.
Oscar raised a brow at you. That pet name originated from you when the three of you decided to become superheroes for a day and you decided to name eight-year-old Oscar, 'Ozzie the Mozzie' after he got bitten by one. No one else on Earth called him that but you.
"I was telling Arty here about that mozzie that bit you and he really liked Ozzie the Mozzie," You chuckled softly.
Arty...
God give him strength because Oscar wasn't sure how much longer he could bear this.
To be honest, you weren't much of a music festival type of person. It was always crowded, hot, and filled with some sort of drugs even if you couldn't see it.
But aside from that, you enjoyed the serenity it could bring; the indie music that was well on it's way to becoming pop; the calming breeze; the warming sun.
Well you would enjoy it more if a certain Aussie wasn't staring daggers to the side of your head–Arthur's head.
You felt a tap on your shoulder and you turned around to see a stranger. A somewhat attractively creepy stranger but a stranger nonetheless. You raised your brows and gave a small smile. "Yes?"
"I know you don't know me but I just saw you from over there and I wanted to say you're really pretty!"
You blinked, feeling the three boys around you stiffen at the compliment. You nodded slowly, putting on a grateful smile. "Oh, thank you so much," You responded, laughing awkwardly.
A moment of awkward silence settled in the air as the guy still remained in front of you.
"So... I was wondering if I get could get your number?" The guy asked with an odd glint in his eyes.
The alarms were ringing in your head and an uncomfortable shiver went down your spine. "Uh, I'm sorry. I... I don't really want to. But thanks for your offer," You politely declined.
"Oh come on. I called you pretty... that's gotta be worth your number. Come on."
Oh.
Honestly, you were speechless. Your number which for him was the leeway into your intimate life was worth a compliment.
"Yeah, I don't think so," You quipped sharply, gritting your teeth.
"Come on, baby girl. Let me show you a fun time." The guy stepped forward, his hand reaching towards your body.
You froze at his words. You wanted to move but you couldn't.
Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Oscar, Arthur, and your brother step in front of you.
"Mate, fuck off. She doesn't want you," Oscar pushed the guy away from you.
Your brother snorted. "I don't think anyone wants him."
The guy sneered, making you wince. He raised his hands in a feigned defence, beginning to turn away from you. Thank God. "Fine. I didn't want a girl like you anyways. All these guys around you... a whore."
Arthur and you, as the pacifists you were, watched in silent horror as your brother poked his tongue in his cheek and Oscar's head quickly whipped towards the guy.
"Oscar..." You warned meekly as Arthur tried to get your brother's attention.
The last thing any of you needed was famed athletes on the front page of ESPN, cited as the cause of a brawl.
"What did you say?" Oscar raised a brow, ignoring your pleas and walking towards the guy. His tone was dark and the total opposite of what he normally sounded like. He was raged.
"The truth," The guy chuckled. "I said she's a whore. Why? What are you gonna do about it, little boy?"
Yeah see, the guy most definitely had a couple of inches on Oscar and you brother. You weren't really keen on seeing them get pummelled to the ground.
Oscar said nothing in response but raised his fist, slamming it into the side of the guy's jaw.
Oh for fuck's sake.
As if the guy had lightening reflexes, the guy quickly pulled his head back up and got a hold of Oscar, getting into a cycle of punches.
Your heart dropped at the sight. Your brother, thank God, and Arthur quickly realised that Oscar wasn't winning anything here, stepping in to push the two men apart. A small crowd began to gather, some thankfully aiding in trying to stop whatever was going on.
Arthur pulled Oscar away and towards you. You held Oscar against you, clutching him tightly as your heart raced in your ears. Somewhere in the muffled sounds you could hear your brother.
"We're going home. Now."
━━━━━━━━━━━
Your brother and Arthur had decided to go explain the situation the both of your parents who were out having lunch because you couldn't blame all those bruises and dry blood on Oscar's face by saying he fell. This left you to clean up Oscar to reduce the risk of your parents having a heart attack.
You clenched your jaw, holding the first aid kid and a wet cloth to your side as you walked towards the seated racing driver who had found a lot of interest in the floor all of a sudden while icing his face.
"I can't believe you," You mumbled in annoyance, taking a seat next to him. You gently grabbed his chin, putting side the ice bag, trying to decide on where to start cleaning but you could only wince at his face. His bottom lip and his brow was slightly torn, the side of his jaw and the top of his cheek had started to bruise, and his nose was a blood fest.
All the pain Oscar felt began to disappear as he felt your hands gently graze past his skin, scouting all the damage that had occurred. He looked at your pained eyes and internally sighed. He hated seeing you in pain. "He was disrespecting you. I wasn't going to just let it go."
You rolled your eyes, slowly wiping away the dry blood. "He was like six foot two, Oscar. You're like five foot. He could've ki... he could've really hurt you," You jested before your voice fell into a bare whisper.
Oscar's heart clenched as you went back on your words, watching you grab some antiseptic with shaky hands. He grabbed your hands, holding them with his own and softly looked into your eyes. "But he didn't. I'm fine. See?" He smiled widely before wincing at the pain shooting through his face.
You snorted. "As if."
"Hey, you're talking to a guy who crashes at most craziest speeds. Bet that guy can't do that," Oscar shrugged nonchalantly.
You narrowed your eyes. "If you weren't already hurt, I would've smacked the shit out of you right now. Just so you know."
Oscar grinned at you. "Ah, there's the ever kind Y/N I love."
You rolled your eyes before processing what he had just said. As friends. Friendly love. Right. You shook your head out of your trance, removing your hands from his and returning back to the stupid first aid kit next to you.
Oscar mended his brows together. "Hey," he tapped your thigh, "you heard what I said right?"
"Hmm? Oh, yeah," You said idly, opening the tube of antiseptic cream.
"What? I..." Oscar sighed, taking the cream out of your hands before pulling you closer to him. His hands held your face, looking you dead in the eye. "I said I love you, Y/N. You know... the type where you look at someone and all you know is that you can't breathe without them? The one in your books?"
Your mouth felt dry. You blinked blankly. Your hands felt clammy. You chuckled nervously. "Pfft, what? You don't love me. You mean as a friend, right? I think you need some medicine. Maybe there's some in this kit." Your eyes darted down, frantically looking around the box as your heart thudded against your chest.
"Hey, hey," Oscar called, using his hand to turn your chin towards him. "I don't. I mean, I do love you as a friend, but no. I love love you."
"Well... what about about Lily?"
"As I said... I realised I loved someone else more," Oscar told you, letting his confession sink into your mind. "You know... if your idiot brother didn't call us that day, I definitely would've kissed you."
Oh.
Well.
That was something.
This was real. You weren't dreaming. You hadn't died. Oscar, your childhood best friend and your brother's best friend, was confessing to you.
"Huh... well, if it's any consolation, I probably would've kissed you too," You retorted, trying to keep your quirking lips at bay before you began smiling for too much for anyone's liking.
"Probably? That kinda sucks. Are you sure you wouldn't have definitely kissed me?" Oscar grinned, grabbing your waist and seating you down on his lap.
"Hmm... I mean maybe. This current environment is nowhere near as enticing as my bedroom. I mean what is sexier than me waking up, am I right?" You joked, trying to cover up the fact that you were dying at the proximity between you two.
Oscar pushed a lock of your hair behind your ear, letting his fingers trail down your cheek, holding your jaw while his thumb grazed your lips. "Well, I can think of a few other things."
You silently watched as Oscar leaned in and pressed his lips against yours. His lips were softer than you could ever imagine.
You blinked, taking a mere second to register what was going on. Oscar Piastri was kissing you. Holy shit, Oscar Piastri was kissing you!
You kissed him back, feeling his hand wrap around the back of your neck and the other holding you steady against him. Your skin burned at his touch, feeling his fingers snake past the hem of your shirt and rest on your hot skin.
Oddly enough, despite your heat, goosebumps sprawled across every inch of your skin as his tongue darted out, exploring your own, giving you access to his mouth.
You could've sworn you were walking on fire. One more step and you could've combusted. Your thighs clenched at the moan that slipped from Oscar's mouth as your teeth tugged on his bottom lip, your hands roaming around his chest and his arms.
Oscar's hand wrapped around your hair, enjoying the softness he had wanted touch ever since he realised he had feelings for you. His pants felt tight as he felt your hand brush against his bare torso. Fuck. You were going to do him in. He fell back further into the couch, holding you tighter against him.
The desire you had was blinding you. Your other hand fell to his cheek, forgetting about his injuries till Oscar murmured an "ouch".
You retracted your hands, pulling back from his lips, a move Oscar clearly didn't enjoy as his eyes followed your lips. "Shit!" You exclaimed, "the antiseptic! Sorry!"
Oscar paused in his trance, realising what you were talking about. He smiled softly, lips widening even further when he saw your swollen lips and flushed cheeks.
You carefully applied the cream to his brow before moving to his lips. "The diagnosis for you Mr Piastri is no more kissing for you," You grinned.
Oscar looked at you dumbfounded. "I–what? For how long?"
"Mmm... a week?"
"A week?" Oscar repeated in exasperation. "There is no way I can last that long. Not after this. Besides I'm pretty sure kissing actually helps you heal faster."
Your skin warmed further at his confession. You cleared your throat and held his hands. "I am confident that is not scientifically true."
Oscar narrowed his eyes, lips quirking in amusement. "You need to read better medical journals, doc."
You tilted your head to the side, leaning in further. "I think I have an alternative."
"Yeah?" Oscar's eyes danced across your face, smiling softly. "What is it?"
"It's less practical, more theoretical. Confessional, if you will," You shrugged, letting your forehead rest against his.
Oscar shut his eyes, enjoying the warmth of you. "Oh really? Don't let me stop you."
"I love you, Oscar. I've loved you since we were little heroes running around in the backyard."
Oscar opened his eyes, hands wrapping around your waist. He smiled widely at you. "Are you sure you said a week?"
You rolled your eyes, hitting his chest playfully. "I'm sure."
© 𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐘𝐒𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑
#mickyschumacher#f1 x reader#f1 x you#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#formula 1#oscar piastri#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri fluff#oscar piastri imagine
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yeaaa sasha and levi have a complicated relationship ⚰️ novel incoming so im sorry lmao
so when they were in middle school sasha (and teddy) figuratively saved levis life. yeah he physically fought the bullies to the point of getting into trouble himself but he also became something for levi who was new in town and extremely sensitive and felt all his emotions at 150% to lean on (and for a long time hide behind), and sasha who had lived his whole life just letting everything happen to him would have an active role in someones life.
levis situation made it so they spent a lot of time together and they actually got on well, esp because they all did (at this point different) sports. and from day 1 levi thought sasha was so. cool. (and at this point sasha was taller too). hed follow him anywhere. listen to the same music. wear the same clothes etc. and it was so good for sasha to make a friend other than his sister and teddy. and soon levi was able to express his loud personality (hyper competitive, confident, overly sensitive, no filter, you know right) and the three became inseparable
in time their dynamic as this "savior" and the "saved" gave them a lot of codependency, but they didnt see it like that. it was natural and they loved each other. they started dating in like the transition from middle school to high school and it was Serious like when uni started theyd been dating for over 4 years and they were like this is who im spending my life with/if it ever becomes legal then this IS the guy im going to marry
so bc levi was so happy during those years he was able to thrive when it came to his ambitions like he was working hard with volleyball and getting 10s after 10s in his studies and prep for med school and he does get accepted. so then uni starts and whoa? levi has to leave bc the only med school in the country is on the other side of it. uh oh....
they both dont know how to function without the other at this point but sasha doesnt voice any of his feelings (bc hes developing intensifying insecurities abt how he feels hes failing at... well, life, bc of the developments of both of their lives) and they say good bye with a promise that theyll call and visit as much as possible.
and levi struggles HARD in the beginning. the studies are hard, balancing volleyball with them is hard, and hes new in town again and his security is gone. but, he IS a different person from 7 years ago. he started gaining his independence quickly and adjusting to life in the capital and when he visited on christmas everything was already clear. sasha felt like he was slipping away from him bc he himself had no other things and no other futures he was working towards other than this relationship. levi didnt need him anymore and in fact he was becoming a doctor and hed be the one having to take care of sasha. even though they were finally together again sasha felt like they were worlds apart. even the way levi spoke was changing and becoming literally hard to understand.
so when levi returned to school it all started Actually going bad. bc sasha had let passivity poison his entire being instead of confronting his issues he started to withdraw and levi alone couldnt keep them going. eventually theyd only ever fight and levi for the first time let his meaner qualities target sasha. and it hurt him even more that no matter how awful he was sasha rlly didnt care enough abt him anymore to get angry back?
it WAS gradual though and this went on for SO. LONG. bc neither knew how to let go until finally at the end of their second year levi said enough to the limbo and once and for all ended their relationship. time passed and now levi after fighting so hard made team captain. and he hears sasha is also his teams captain and levi feels even more resentment bc he has had to crawl through blood and tears since middle school but sasha whos never aspired to anything can just become captain bc ????? (he has no idea). also sasha feels some type of way abt levi getting into a new relationship so "fast" and with the guy he knows became his roommate in their 2nd year... even tho he rlly has no business to lmaooo
so to finally answer the question in the post: levi feels so bitter and resentful and sasha is just swallowed up in his self loathing and rlly just doesnt want to see him again
which oc currently has a complicated relationship with an ex?
#notes to keep in mind for reading this!!!: 1. bc this is mostly covering the 'complications' aspect of their relationship there wasnt#rlly a chance to empasize how truly important and good the relationship was and how much happiness it brought. and they spent#their youth together so they still miss each other painfully much too. spoiler for this story i havent written hdkdjfkf but they do make up#at the end and its one of my fave parts everr. they probs wont ever be friends as close as they used to be bc they dont have nearly anythin#in common anymore and the memories will always be somewhat painful but theyll get closure#2. even tho they had a dynamic in their relationship it wasnt a POWER dynamic. again i have to emphasize it was a good happy relationship#and their dynamic worked until it didnt. simple as that#3. the timeline of one difficult first half a semester leading to the downfall of everything is very important#and you can rlly pinpoint the time during which i created this story 💀💀💀💀#this story was truly a way for me to cope with how difficult and life ruining starting uni was for me and in time i just built around that#again SORRY for this awful wall of text hdkdjsjdkd the whole life story isnt EXACTLY relevant to the post question#but i was like where else am i gonna get to talk abt this lmao#also this is the first time ive added a read more i hope it works.......#well now after posting i see that it doesnt actually work in the notes themselves which would be the most important lmao this is the worst
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chalkrub stuns in new oc-tober prompts
it's a text-heavy update...i love rambling
day 11: symbolism/themes/visual metaphor i.e my favourite things in the world - eng lit nerds make some noise!!!!!
goin back to day 11 with my favourite thing in the world: an unfinished sketchy concept. and also SYMBOLISM and themes and metaphor…and also dark green
so mika and heidi's story is haunted by one time they happened upon a drowned fox and pheasant in a disused canal, something which came at a weird time in their lives and which heidi made weirder by making cryptic suggestions about the whole thing, especially playing on mika’s (former) religious beliefs about spirit connections. Over time, it’s infected mika with budding paranoia in the form of nightmares, hallucinations and latent aquaphobia, all of which she begins seeing as premonitory
shan’t overexplain the symbolism even though my brain wants me to, but this was all inspired by seeing literally the exact same thing on a walk with my great aunt when I was like 6 or 7. the canal water was all covered in algae/pondweed so i’m guessing the fox chased the pheasant, they both mistook the canal for grass, then fell in and drowned together. even as a little kid I was like wrow this is so poignant and tragic and heavy with the potential for on-the-nose symbolism….. or alternatively it just looked cool as hell and felt kind of rare and special. either way, like 15 years later I was developing a new direction for a couple of initially completely unrelated ocs, i.e mika and heidi, and at some point in their story development, I was like now wait a second….this is just like that one time I saw those animals who chased each other into an early shared fate and drowned together…… and it fit them really well and also made everything click into place for the main story, it was kind of uncanny. Thank you nature for showing me cool things every day, and rip to the fox and pheasant you live in my mind forever and always
day 12: future
BEAS!!! beas i love you beas. initial beasley flavour on the left and future flavour on the right. his whole deal is he wants to start a cult, so he ventures to The Big City to make a name for himself. then he realises imps like him are a dime a dozen in the city and nobody cares about him, so he has to scrape by working a minimum wage job as a cashier in a tiny corner shop. he’s from a comic I (partially) made for uni, idk how his story goes exactly but I guess it probably ends with the typical sappy message of being yourself for yourself and not for fame or fortune or whatever. he gets up to hijincks, feels sad and depressed, and goes through the torment of living with his own mediocrity in a world that demands greatness. imps grow with power, not with age, so at the start of the story, even though he’s an adult, he’s still as small as when he was born/summoned/spawned/whatever. he’s got some shapeshifting prowess, so his future form is more an example of the kinds of feats he can pull off when his powers stabilise, and also his cool badass flaming eyes.
day 14: inspiration.
here's a convoluted block of text explaining the heretic's main inspiration, which isn't very apparent in the design at ALL but nevertheless: they’re kind of inspired by the concept of a closet costume. like how you can throw a bedsheet over yourself and cut out some eyeballs and voila. You’re a ghost. Or put a big furry coat and a mask on and you’re a werewolf now. almost all of their design links back to this in a roundabout way: the fur is meant to look like a rug/coat/furry thing draped over something. I used to have a sheepskin rug when I was a kid and I’d always hide under it and crawl about and pretend to be a monster lmao…this is what i looked like in my head maybe. The normal shoes poking out are the human element – like how halloween costumes will sometimes be mostly themed but the shoes are just practical, or you see shoes poking out beneath one of those two-man horse costumes. The face is meant to look mask-like – the glassy unfocused eyes, the fixed toothy grin, the simple cone shape. The black eyelids are meant to be like those Halloween masks that have eyeholes above/below the eyes, covered with that black fabric to make it less obvious there's eyeholes. And the ears are floppy to be like socks or something; they have those two black lines because they remind me of loose stitching. Also just some animal influences thrown in – possums, goats and bulls…..none of the closet costume stuff is meant to be noticeable or apparent in the design, so why did I put so much thought into it? who know… but this thing is one of my favourite designs I’ve made so maybe it was all worth it
#my art#oc-tober#bweirdoctober#illustration#oc#beas#heretic#i am once again spending too much time on these damn prompts#but you know what's crazy? i think i'm gonna do it. i think i'm gonna finish this thing#i'll be late maybe but it will. be. done#also technically i've already done community week via my art trades. which was DEFINITELY the intention
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