#well. so I can focus on something productive
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So... that all happened.
In an effort not to drown in current events, here's some WIP Wed for You Pay the Cost. This is all extremely rough. And I'm talking extremely here. A lot of this will get changed as I finish out the scene and edit it. I just wanted to share something. Gotta head to work now, but enjoy.
Leon was the last one to go through the door, he ducked under the frame and moved his tail all the way inside before closing the door behind him. He watched Luis set a small backpack down on the couch and begin to go through it.
“You ok?” Ashley asked him. She caught the way he seemed to hover uncomfortably near the door.
“Yeah,” he said, “I’m good.” Neither of them were sure if that was the truth. He stepped a bit further into the room and shrugged his rifle and shotgun off his back. Leon didn’t really know what to do with himself.
Luckily Luis saved him the trouble by turning his attention to him. “Ok,” he started with, “lets give you a quick lookover, Big Guy.”
Leon raised an eyebrow and rubbed his two bottom pedipalps together. “A lookover? For what?”
Luis stepped closer to him and said, “Your product line has a high failure rate, as far as mutations go.”
“Product line?” Leon frowned and stepped back.
Ashley asked, “So you know what he is?”
“Well, now that I’ve seen the full mutation, yes. I had a guess before, but seeing the whole thing in front of me, there’s only one product type it could be. Verdugo.”
“Ver-what now?”
“It means executioner, but I think a more fitting title should have “Guardian” or “Protector” even “Body Guard” would have gotten the product’s purpose through more clearly.” Luis closed the gap between himself and Leon once more. “They were created to be soldiers but Saddler quickly abandoned that idea after learning their abysmal survival rate through production. The research teams shifted focus and fine tuned the serum, more survived but not in the numbers he was looking for. Instead of scrapping the project, it was re-pitched as a line of personal body guards.”
Leon ignored most of that. “So you think I’m going to die?”
Luis shook his head. “Most likely not. You survived the mutation process, but I’d like to double check.” He reached up for Leon’s face and said, “Bend down for me, ok?” When Leon hesitated he added, “It’s best we get this done now, yeah?” Leon relented and Luis reached up to touch the outer jaws. Instantly Leon flinched back away. “Leon,” he said more sternly, “don’t be difficult.”
“I just- is this really necessary?”
“Yes. Now stop being a baby.” This time when he reached for Leon’s mandibles he was less gentle. He pulled him back down and opened them up. “I must remind you, my lab did not work on the Verdugo line, I was primarily a special variant Plaga researcher. However, they made us all sit through the presentations of the other labs, so I know just enough to get you sorted.” Leon kept trying to pull away from his touch, no doubt partly on instinct and partly due to being uncomfortable. And while Luis could sympathize with him, he still needed to check him over. “You mutated quickly and aggressively. The process normally takes a week, sometimes more, and is done in stages, induced with serum injections in increasing doses. Now this,” he manipulated the mandible in his hand, “this isn’t the correct outer jaw that goes with this body plan.”
“Yeah?” Leon wanted to yank it free but he let Luis continue. The other man ran his hand along the inside of it, feeling for something. It was uncomfortable, Leon felt the tip of his tail twitch. “What’s it go to then?”
“Las Plagas,” Luis said bluntly. “I think something interesting happened with you. The Plaga can also cause mutations to the host. The drone types have predictable mutations that follow their life stages. The controller Plaga often have more unique mutations, suited to the individual host. These can be triggered at will or in a life or death situation. Sometimes due to stress as well, or as a trigger from another, stronger Plaga.”
“So you think the Plaga was also trying to make me into a monster?”
“Yes,” he said. “But it got overridden by the Verdugo mutagen. The jaws and extra arms are not from the Verdugo mutagen. If I had to guess, they are from the Plaga.”
“But he’s done now, right?” Ashley asked. “No more changes?”
“Theoretically, yes, but-”
“There’s always a but,” Leon said with an eyeroll.
“But until we get the Plaga out of you, it could try to mutate your Verdugo form. Unlikely, since this is such a strong mutation, but it could happen.” Luis finished feeling around one side of Leon’s jaw and moved to the other. “Are you in any pain? From the mutation? Anything still hurt?” Leon shook his head. Luis finished pushing on Leon’s jaw lining. Nothing felt inflamed or swollen. “You don’t appear to have venom sacs, I don’t know if you’d consider that good news or not.”
“Wait, I could have had venom sacs?”
“Yeah, the Plaga with this face type can sometimes develop a venomous bite. You’d have a gland back here,” Luis reached in again with his hand and pressed just under his ear, where the skin of the outer jaws fused with his human skin. “But I don’t feel anything. It’s possible it’ll develop later.” He turned his attention to the large fangs at the end of each mandible. “I doubt it though, I don’t see a hole in your fangs for the venom to leave through. In any case, if you feel swelling here,” he pressed again, “or here,” and did the same with his other hand, but on his neck this time, under the human jaws, “it might be the gland coming in. It won’t affect the remains of your human jaws, or at least it shouldn’t, and your spit won’t be venomous. But your outer jaws could deliver a toxin strong enough to bring down an elephant. So exercise caution.”
“Great,” he said unenthusiastically. “What about,” Leon almost hesitated to ask, but he knew if he didn’t do so now, he might never get the chance. “What about acid? The ones I’ve come across can vomit acid.”
“Ooooh, that’s a tough one my friend. That organ is internal and I’d have to open you up to see if its in there. Your cousin species, the Novistadores have acid as well, but your species isn’t often engineered with it.” Luis moved away from Leon’s face and began to run his hands along the various plating on his chest. “I wouldn’t worry about, if you develop it, it’ll be because of the Plaga.”
“And the only way to know would be to open me up and check?”
“Yes.” Luis pressed on one of the plates that sat just below where his diaphragm would be. “Does this hurt when you breath in?” He could feel Leon expand his lungs and his ribcage moved under the carapace.
“No.”
“Good, good. Some issues that were reported with this line had to do with lung capacity and the ability to breath uninterrupted by the carapace.” He continued to move his hands down to his stomach. “Have you had any bowel movements?”
“No. Haven’t really had time.”
“You eaten anything recently?” Leon didn’t want to answer. He clamped his jaws to his face and looked at Ashley. “Leon?” When he looked up it was clear that the question had made him uncomfortable.
Ashley said instead, “Remember when I called you? And I said Leon wasn’t acting like himself?” Luis looked to her then back at Leon and nodded. “Well, when he wasn’t… himself,” she settled on, “he had eaten some of the cultists.”
“Oh.” Luis looked again to Leon who wouldn’t meet his eyes. “I see.” The blood around his jaws had been a giveaway, but he thought that maybe he had only used them in self-defense. “While I wouldn’t suggest your diet become comprised of human flesh, I will say that your guts are designed to process raw foods. Vegetables, fruit, and yes, meat. So eating them won’t have any negative consequences on your health.”
“I’m a fucking monster,” Leon said quietly.
Luis dismissed that with, “You were doing what you were designed to do. Protect Ashley no matter the cost.” When Leon looked at him with an eyebrow raised, he said, “It’s pretty obvious that its her you’re being made to protect. I don’t know if Saddler had you imprinted or if you did that all on your own.”
Ashley asked, “Wait, imprinted? Like with baby animals?”
“Perhaps that was the wrong word, “paired” might have been better. You see the Verdugo line, like I said before, was shifted to become a guardian type weapon. The first few iterations were not biologically bound to the one they were supposed to protect.”
“And now they are?” she asked again.
Luis nodded. “We have two ways of doing it, both involve the use of a Plaga. It’s clear that Leon has a Plaga inside him,” he said and turned over Leon’s arm to show off the dark veins that were still visible in the gaps between his carapace. “Sometimes both parties are infected with a custom made set of paired Plaga, this, along with picking a person close to the one needing the protection, insures the best results post mutation. If the client has the money and Saddler decides they’re worthy, the client will receive a custom Controller Type Plaga. Then it doesn’t matter as much which Verdugo is shipped to them, if it carries a normal Plaga the client will have no issues with commands or its loyalty.”
“And Saddler would do that? Just give someone a Controller Plaga?” Leon snorted. “Doesn’t that seem a little dangerous?”
“No, it’s actually a benefit to him as well. You see his end goal is to control the world with Las Plagas. The more people he infects the better, and if these folks are eager to do so willingly…” Luis trailed off. “It’s not a safety concern for him because Saddler’s Plaga is the strongest we’ve seen. He wouldn’t give out something that could usurp him to some random militant group.”
Luis put a hand on Leon’s back and started to lift and check the various plates. “You have a Plaga but Ashley doesn’t,” he was focused on Leon and didn’t catch the way that she froze up, “but you’ve clearly already paired yourself to her. Your body language gives it away, I’m sure you feel it as well?” Leon nodded. “The instincts that come with the mutation are strong. Incredibly strong. New Verdguo if not previously paired will pair themselves with someone eventually. We normally keep them in solitary until a client buys one for that reason alone. The pre-paired ones are obviously made to order.” Luis continued, “Once the bond is made its made for life. It cannot be paired again. Of course, that doesn’t mean it can’t serve another, but the biological connection? That’s a one and done deal.”
Leon looked at Ashley who was staring back at him. “What does that mean?” he asked. “For me?”
“Well, you might be switching careers friend. Being separated from the one you’re paired with for long distances and durations will cause immense feelings of anxiety and sometimes violence, if you aren’t brought back together.” Luis asked, “Can you bend forward for me? Like you’re going to touch the ground?”
Without giving it much thought Leon leaned forward and dropped his hands to the floor and stretched. “So that’s it? I’m fucked?”
“Oh I wouldn’t go that far friend. You have options. Control over yourself will come with age. Some of our Verdugo on the market have been around for a couple of years now. They settle pretty easily, at least, that’s what I gather from the reports I’ve read.”
“I’m sorry,” Ashley said, “Leon I’m sorry. I didn’t know this would happen.”
“Neither of us did, not your fault.”
“On the bright side,” Luis said, stepping away, “you are built wonderfully. I’ve never seen such an exceptional specimen. Your body seems to have adapted perfectly to the mutagen, nothing is out of place. Full range of motion, carapace that has a bit of give, everything slots perfectly together, honestly, a perfect example of your species. If the Plaga hadn’t don’t a couple of its own mutations you’d be exemplary.”
“Please,” Leon winced, “please stop talking about me like I’m a product.” He stood back up to his full height.
“My apologies, Leon, but you are. Best shore up with that now instead of later.”
#wip wednesday#You Pay the Cost#Verdugo Leon AU#Resident Evil#Leon Kennedy#this is all super rough I'll go through and edit all of Luis' lines for his particular cadence once the scenes are a bit more scripted
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Hey y'all you know sometimes when you have the urge to eat something specific but you don't know what the specific thing is? I'm having that but for crafting. Like, I feel like I want to make something in a different medium than my usuals but idk what it is??? I'm going to try drawing first to see if it's that, I think. Send me requests/suggestions to draw and I might draw them! I also might end up plushifying them if I draw them?
#the person behind the yarn#I have not given up on the progress pride quilt it is still happening#I've just had a weird week and I am trying to appease the metaphorical brain weasels so I can focus#well. so I can focus on something productive#I've almost completed a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle since yesterday afternoon#I am going to go play piano and maybe guitar and sing for a while before I draw#because I am home alone and won't bother my family by being super loud#(not that music is a bother in general I just can sing LOUD when I don't have to worry about it being too loud)#(I'm a former musical theater kid from a theater that could not afford mics so I learned to sing SO LOUD)
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I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :
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(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )
#tumblr polls#hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today#still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual#They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully#it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec#fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since#I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm#ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos#or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things#I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming#over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY#I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb#e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about#different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see#stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I#can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud..#but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone#said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects#the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm
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skirts suit strider
#homestuck#hom3stuck#home24uck#home2t4ck#dirk strider#lil cal#admin draws#fanart#self harm cw#breaking my mini hiatus to post these week ol dirks#i rly wanted to draw him in a nice long skirt but that ended up not rly being the focus#the one on the left is a product of wanting to draw beach funtimes but i was too emo so it turned into something entirely different#anyhoo. exam tomorrow so im posting this as a bit of a pick-me-up. so i dont die badly without any distractions#i have stuff done im just not posting because. well.#the point of taking a break was to not have notifs to distract me from studying but lol... i think distractions r exactly what#i need after this exam. anxiety thru the roof.#what else... i started redecorating my studying corner. so i can stop doing that in the living room#its been mostly moving shit around + taping up my wall. but im waiting for a print and some frames#so im gonna take a pic and post it when its all done
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going boxing for the first time in months (at a new place, with my brother) and i wish i was normal i wish i could chill and enjoy my day without getting stressed over absolutely nothing
#i woke up and my first thought was '12.5 hours until we have to be at the class' ffs#if i mentioned this to my mother she'd start saying well why are you worried <3 what's the worst that can happen <3#but i'm not scared about specific events it's just a looming sense of dread that fucks my day up completely#i need to be working but i can't focus and feel like i'm physically dying#i can't eat which is not a good thing before a very intense class#which i'm assuming it will be#since it's muay thai#which is one of the things i've loved most in the world yet i can't do it as much as i'd like because of#so many other factors#those factors being autism#and the fact i'm a girl in yet another male dominated sport#tbf some of the nicest guys i've ever met have been in boxing classes#... and also some of the worst#every time i tell myself there's no need to be so stressed i start doing something productive#then my mind goes straight back to being scared as soon as i stop telling myself not to be#:')#also skdhvcshgd my little brother is driving me for the first time which is what i should be nervous about#not the class itself#in the mood of 'i need to hit something to calm down' ... that's exactly what i'm going to get to do. and yet
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...
#sorry i cant shut the fuck up today. i think i just feel worse on the weekends bc i kno i shoulf b relaxing#ppl r telling me to relax. take a break. let me kno how i can help. let me kno if theres a problem. bc my behavior is apparently ya kno like#visibly somethings not right. but how tf am i supposed to relax when i have so much to do#so im stuck spiraling like dont work but also think insistently abt working. but get nothing done. its horrible#mostly rn im stressed abt all the grading i havent done and the work on my masters data i havent done#but its like. something in my head is on fire and it's burning thru all my cognitive energy. i am just trying to keep existing#how tf am i supposed to find the energy to read 45 lab reports? im like illiterate#and idk i just feel bad about coming into a new lab being so sick. i just dont like being a problem#it also does not reflect well on my future career that im being such a flake on things. like sorry if i have to work on my research#assistant data rn i might die ✌️ ugh. itll b fine. i just need to find a way to effectively manage my head#and i keep hearing my dads voice in my head talking abt personal responsibility but like i dont even kno how to employ that. i could suck#it up and double down on productivity but that way leads to burnout and self destruction. do i doubke down on relaxing?#i dont kno how to do that. like u would probably just have to drug me. which is y i do not partake in substances. that way also leads#to self destruction. so what am i do to? cross my fingers and pray for a fluctuation in my general mood?#hope that aliens invade and that an incoming invasion sharpens my focus onto only one single thing?#idk. but my sister is finally working on the fish i askrd her yo draw me. so i gotta think of how i wanna get it tattooed#bc shes not an art person and its an act of indulging chaos to get an imperfect image tattooed onto me#so i might have to do some things to make it make me not insane. i asked for this bc i like causing myself problems. also i was in a#slightly altered state of mind when i asked lol but i stand by it haha. anyway. idk things r just annoying and hard rn as i knew they would#b. and im good at catching myself before things get dangerous but it sucks that i feel like a ticking time bomb of destruction. ugh.#unrelated
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everything is shit i feel like shit, hatred in my heart and soul
#sorry to vent but also i'm gonna do a vent fuck you#i've been feeling so blehhh this past week#and like. yesterday afternoon and today i felt like things were getting better#and the something like. rlly minor happened and like. it's entirely thrown me off again and i hate it!!#i don't know. *how* to make things better cos it's almost entirely like my mental state fucking up#rather than like. actual events i can focus on#i've just been so. ://////////////////#and like. yes there was probably an event that kind of. made things worse#but it shouldn't have been that big of a deal#also i'm so fucking tired all the time!! if you know me you know i don't get up past like 11 each morning#so i'm fucking getting enough sleep. why am i like this#i just. feel like shit. even going on fun little walks isnt helping anymore#i dunno. like i said things were getting a bit better. i finally managed to get myself to go to the gym which i hadn't for over a week#that helped a bit. and work acc went well today and yesterday#i'm just. ehhh i hate that something so minor can throw off again and now i hate everything and i want to scream#sorry as well that ik i'm leaving a few people hanging when it comes to replying to messages#i'll try to get round to it just like. no energy. feel like shit. you know#just. i hate that i'm feeling like this i want to be productive i want to do stuff cos ik that's gonna help#and i actually was starting to build up good habits but it's just all fallen down recently :((#i dunno. maybe i've got fucking reverse seasonal depression or something (not actually this is called a joke)#cos my winter was rlly good#or that's just. the way of life. if things are good for a while they then have to be bad again for balance#which i understand but don't like >:((#anyways. yh. shit sucks. i hate that i am being like this. screaming crying throwing up etc.#bear with me a while till i can find my feet again#marchibald's
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#realized my adhd is in fact not being better managed i am just severely stupid and have become a workaholic on accident!!#wow my life is so structured and i am so productive so this must mean i am being healthy and normal -> uh oh#if i constantly have things to do... when i lose focus then i can just focus on something else...#but this requires one to have 4 million responsibilities#and well. well.#i am like sitting here and coming up with more and more and more to work on and its like god i cannot just do it bc i know i can#in theory i can but also in theory i would like to continue to be funny and have every other anxiety disorder except for anxiety#stares at the wall at 5 am about all of the deadlines i have and how i must structure my silly little life around them like a fool#maybe i will get my momentum back when i go to school again. maybe i will be sane when my parents arent killing me#<- if they ask again if i got my portfolio results . as if i would not be telling everyone if i got in or not THEYRE STILL BEING GRADEDDD#myyyyyyyyy godddddddddd weeoigh#i am being normal and functioning again tho we are slaying i guess. i need to organize everything still but we will be fine#the gamer speaks uwu#vent#i guess . im just commenting on my behaviors
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i need to put this hyperfixation of mine to work
#MIGHT AS WELL try to be productive with it if it’s still refusing to going AWAY#angel.txt#i can pull out my old language learning project#maybe make a new one…?#i’m rotting in bed and i hate it i need something#i can try to do this w other work too but i’m ngl using my hyperfixation to focus when it comes to certain things pisses me off so#only if i’m desperate#i guess
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Ama zoe
Me: *sighs*
It's beautiful and weird on so many levels.
Get Round Tuit
#mmm something curious there certainly#you are going to look very pretty with both of you on your knees#it's so good I just Have to see it though#on some level always.... listen bro i wanna play with her as bad as you#just rituals of hard drugs and mind melting sex#shivering....giving a forehead a kiss#it was....so strangely intimate#one of those small things to look back on and be like I think she was really into me#sigh.....#the real reason for the honeymoon wait is you need all parties there#yeah I was captive of the way she moves though#one must focus until there is nothing but the orgasms rolling in waves#not by interaction no conferences#language skill drops as the full body approaches#I see all these videos...#and perhaps after you ascertain body control with practice#like maybe you think you know#but I always have tricks even I don't know I can do up my sleeve#your so small it doesn't matter#you can just have your head go down prone and I will simply contine to pull you up to full head at entry and back#I sense my crotch getting wet down there....#uh whoa she a really sweaty#Hot sweat juice#has a distinct smell of pussy though#I catalyze your glandular production with my hands on celestial mechanics#but yeah you were contorting involuntarily and you might as well give me access to *sniff#flick my tongue just on the hairs#rub my lips into your neck....but it's not a kiss#it is just telling you I own you#pot holder
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Little things that improved my life 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
Accepting my sleep schedule. I'm a night owl; I focus at night, I'm calm at night, I'm motivated at night. For a long time, I tried to fight this since everyone always preaches getting up early, but since I started accepting my natural sleep schedule, I've been feeling a lot better and have become way more productive.
"drink more water". TEA. Tea is the secret here. I will be honest, I hate drinking water; it doesn't matter if I have a cute water bottle or a cute glass, I still hate it. TEA.
Replying quickly. I used to be one of those people who get a text message and think, "Oh, I'll reply to that later", and then just forget about it entirely. Now, I text back as soon as I see the message. This has not only improved my texting anxiety (which I cause on my own by now replying and then feeling bad) but also deepened my connection to my friends. <3
Keeping my circle small and being okay with that. Over the past months, I've had this sudden urge to expand my social circle and get to know more and more people, especially after I moved in August. However, this quickly ended in what I like to call my "social burnout". I was tired, annoyed, and overwhelmed. It took a few weeks for it to settle, but I've come to the conclusion that I would much rather have a smaller circle of people who I trust and love deeply than a huge group of friends, and that's totally okay.
Wearing what I like. Even though I live in a big city, I'd still say that my style can sometimes be a bit more extravagant than what most people wear, another point is that I'm very uncomfortable with pants so I only wear skirts, which is also considered a bit odd where I live. But over the past years, I've come to accept that and have become so sure of myself and found such comfort in my style that I now just wear whatever I like, and it makes every day a little bit nicer.
Reading and writing for pleasure. Reading books outside of my studies and spending time researching topics that simply interest me is such a great way to calm your mind. Same for writing, I always like to say that to write is to think; putting your thoughts on paper in cohesive and well-crafted sentences that you can then reread and think over again is such a liberating thing to do.
Reaching out more. fuck the whole "double texting" and "no contact" thing. If you want to speak to someone because they mean something to you, then just do it. Unless they specifically asked for space, you shouldn't feel bad about wanting to be in touch with them. Many even really appreciate it when you show that you truly care. Let's stop the nonchalant act, and instead, let's face deep emotions and true vulnerability. <3
As always, please feel free to share your own little insights and things that helped you improve comments! <3
my insta: @ malusokay
love ya ・:*₊‧✩
#malusokay#girl blogger#it girl#pink blog#that girl#coquette#aesthetic#dream girl#pink pilates princess#glow up journey#glow up#mental health#self esteem#self love#self care#self improvement#loa blog#gaslight gatekeep girlblog#girlblogging#this is a girlblog#girlblog aesthetic#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#winter arc#dollete aesthetic#girly tumblr#just girly thoughts#girly stuff#studyspo#studyblr#study blog
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i dpnt know if this needs to be said but if anyone is coming to this account to milk drama out of a specific person to harass said person........ i dont support that & pls leave. this includes my main account too where we wrote up some cringe stuff (though i think its gone now, just cuz i didnt want that to be wat people saw when people checked our primary account . im sure screenshots exist somewhre, i took some before i took them down)
ya i dont like that person but...... i vent about that person sometimes & that person probably vents about me sometimes, but besides that, we r done interacting with each other... & if anyone here is looking for more reasons to hate the person which i doubt but just in case. stop harassing ppl u dont like just move on. u can vent but like. dont make it that persons problem ?? & this goes for...literally anyone u dislike. just leave ppl alone. if theyre a genuine criminal report them to the authorities & move on . fuckin internet warrior type beat
#ppl make dumb mistakes ok.#some people are really annoying#but like...that doesnt warrant bothering someone#just ignore#this is goood life advice for like 90% of the internet as well so if this isnt happening good. consider what i say tho nanyways#also idk if that person is having this problem but like 4 me poersonally when i felt like i was being poked n prodded (in my case by ppl#mocking stupid things i said) it made my psychosis a lot worse & even thoguh my delusion was the problem at the time#it made it worse. i dont know if thatshappening im not privy to that knowledge but im just trying 2 put my shoes into that situation#like its not fun for the receiver & i feel like to a point its not fun for the sender either. isnt that stressful? idk. just stop being#annoying theres literally BILLIONS of peopel on this planet#if u think theyre a horrible person cuz of some dumb shit someone did then why dont u focus on something more productive in this world#with ppl who are ruining other ppls lives with irreparable trauma thru horrible irredeemable actions or fuckgin!!!! u know!!! whatevers#happening in the world rn#if u have the determination to send hate ask afetr hate ask can u like#redirect that passion into something more positive for this world. :sob:#or maybe if someone needs to hear from someone that ALSO doesnt like this person that i think theyre being unreasonable with showing their#disapproval toward s that person? will that make them open their eyes & realize theyre being ridiculous...that this isnt the answer#idk lol .>_<#HOKO.EXE#10/18/2023#GLOOMY.TXT
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ADULT STORE
↳ GETO すぐる + fem!reader
"Oh, see I told you... this product's a bit intense."
1.5k words
Pt. 2
Summary : product testing with the helpful employee at the adult store!
Warnings : minors do not read/interact : smut/explicit content : using toys, stranger/hookup sex, softdom!Geto, praise, cunnilingus, fingering, dirty talk, squirting, multiple orgasms, sex fantasy trope (sex with the adult store employee)
Note : i haven't made a trip to the adult store in ages bc... everything i want is so expensive lol (the struggle) 😭 i have some rlly funny adult store stories i could ramble about but i will refrain ✋ anyways, indulge yourselves in this fantasy, angels! 😈
Playme : wanna know what it's like?
The gate of the store buzzes, the employee watches you open it with a clink and enter the adult store. Your eyes flood with the overwhelming sight of wall-to-wall toys.
The smooth voice of the employee comes from behind the cash register.
"Yo."
Long hair. Dark, brooding look — almost gothic. Attractive hands with pronounced veins running over the back of them, poised on the countertop which he's lazing over.
He sees you and slowly straightens out his back out to impress you with his height.
"Ah, h-hello..."
He hears you stutter, and assumes it must be your first time in an adult store.
"First time? I mean, in an adult store, that is." he breaks the ice.
"Haha, y-yeah... yeah, it's my first time."
Yeah, that's what I thought.
He holds hard and deep eye contact with you. Yes, he's aware of how intensely he stares. He's doing it on purpose.
"Would you like some assistance, or do you just want to leisurely browse by yourself?"
His tone is so friendly, it doesn't let on to how heated his abdomen is getting at the sight of you.
"Yes, please, I'd appreciate your assistance."
Aw, of course.
"M'kay... then let me assist you."
He smoothly comes out from behind the counter and the two of you stand in front of a wall of toys.
"Overwhelmed?" he chuckles, noting how your eyes widen while looking at all the products. "I know there's a lot to choose from. But just focus on your needs. What do you need?"
"What do I need? Honestly, I have no idea what I need." you laugh nervously.
I know exactly what she needs...
"Well, why don't we carefully go through the products together? I'm sure I can figure out what you need. Promise I know my stuff. I've been working here for three years."
His nonchalance and professionalism puts you at ease. It's something he prides himself on: making customers feel relaxed.
Your eye catches on a pink dildo, so he takes it off the rack to show you up close.
"This one's good, it's got a ribbed design." he shows it off. "Are you looking for just penetration or clitoral stimulation?"
Aw, she's flustered.
"Uh, both I guess? Yeah. I'd love both."
Of course you'd love both. That's what you need, pretty girl.
"Both? Come over here. Let me show you something you might like."
There's a flirty tension between the two of you that just keeps getting more and more... intense.
He plucks a curvy vibrator. It looks expensive. Because it is expensive.
"This one's got ten functions—"
"—ten?! Sounds a bit extra."
"Nothing's too extra when it comes to your personal pleasure."
The two of you share a long look, then laugh.
"But it really is an excellent product."
"Are you advertising?" you joke teasingly.
"Absolutely." he jokes, "Kidding. I'm not trying to come across as a preachy marketer or something. I've used it with partners in the past, that's why I'm recommending it; I know it's good. It's a pretty intense toy. Helps girls squirt even if they think they can't."
I could make her squirt.
He's running his eyes up and down your body.
"Is that so...?" you mumble flirtatiously, eyeing out the product in his veiny, manly hands.
"Hm, still a skeptic? Because I'm sure I could please you."
He hopes that you note his deliberate use of 'I' and not 'it' there.
"Yeah. I'm sure you could please me, too." you flirt.
A heat erupts in his abdomen and stomach.
Oh wow... now she's really flirting, huh? Why'd I wear tight pants today of all days...
He has an unwavering gaze on you. You've captivated him. Put him in some kinda horny trance.
"Did I say me? Sorry. Slip of the tongue." he murmurs, voice dropping lower, "I meant the vibrator." he obviously lies.
You and him exchange a suggestive, longing look. You can feel your pussy clench around nothing, begging to get stuffed up and pleasured.
He hesitates before speaking again, as if he's scared of crossing a line and making you uncomfortable.
"If you want to... we could test it out together?" he suggests. His nonchalance is an act, really he's so nervous when he asks this.
"I'd love to..." you consent, and he doesn't miss the erotic excitement in your tone.
He nods towards the backdoor, eyes keeping on you and your cute little body that he just wants to feel and squeeze like a toy itself.
"Promise to keep your lips sealed about this? I don't wanna get fired for uh... you know... demonstrating products... to my pretty customer."
"Only if you promise to help me squirt for the first time."
Oh wow. Fuck. I'm hard.
His lips widen into a devilish grin. "Sure thing."
After a sloppy, desperate make out with this stranger, you find yourself sat on the couch in the breakroom. Door locked. Blinds shuttered closed. Legs spread wide to his liking, as he cushions the vibrator into your plush slit.
He's rubbing it slowly up and down your folds. He watches your reactions intently, breathing heavier at the sight of your pussy squishing under the pink dildo. The buzzing sound fills the room, but your moans are louder.
He clutches the toy gently, massaging the bulbous head into your clit with sweeping circular motions.
"F-fuck... that pretty clit feels good, doesn't it? Yeah? Let's get it feeling even better."
He turns it up a notch. It buzzes harder against your sensitive nub.
"How's that? Haha, yeah, intense, isn't it?
"Yeahhh — Fuck! Ohhh that's so good, that's so — oh my goddd fuckkk. S-sorry I think... I'm gonna cummm — !!"
"It's okay. Cum as hard as you can, yeah? I want you to get a good idea of how well this toy can pleasure you before you buy it, after all. Oh there we go... just let go and... f-fuck... wow... j-just cum like that. Fuck... that pretty clit feels so good now, huh? Gonna cum? Gonna cum for me, with a vibrator on your cunt?"
He takes note of your reaction to his dirty talk and smirks. Then he slyly turns the toy's setting higher and it buzzes more intensely, and in one... two... three... seconds, you're squirting like crazy all over the pink vibrator and his hand.
Holy shit, look at that pretty pussy gushing... she could drench my dick. I wanna be inside her so fucking baddd...
"Oh, see I told you... this product's a bit intense." he regains his professional tone after you cum.
He turns the toy off and watches you come down from your shaking orgasm, smug look on his face. He keeps it clutched in his veiny hand, and brings it up to his lips to suck and lick up all your juices from it.
She tastes so fucking good... I feel dizzy.
You watch him with wide eyes as he tastes your slick off the toy.
"F-fuck... wh-what did you s-s-say your name was again?" you stutter, starstruck by this stranger.
You're so fucking dizzy, your pussy is buzzing like it still feels the intensity of the toy against it.
"Hm, wanna know my name?" he smiles teasingly, "How about you cum on my face and then I'll tell you."
"Fuck, okay."
And then as soon as you give him permission, he's hungrily diving between your thighs.
"Oh my god..." he loves how you gasp and writhe under the influence of his mouth.
Let's see how fucked-out I can get her. Wanna see her lose her mind 'cause of me.
His lips latch onto your labia and suckle, then onto your clit. He points his tongue at your clit, then oh my god flattens it and laps at your bud while suckling. His softness shows a hint to tenderness in his personality; he really knows how to treat a woman well.
This stranger spoils your pussy with his tongue and lips. He seems to be in his own little world while nosing between your thighs. He carelessly gets your juices smeared across his cheek and lets the rest dribble down his chin.
"Fuck fuck fuck — like that, like that. Don't stop don't stop — !! 'm gonna cum! G-gonna — fffffffucking cummmm ahhhhh — !!"
He flicks the tip of his tongue against your sensitive bundle of nerves, eager to make your pussy freak out on his mouth. Just before you cum he slips two fingers into your hole, middle and ring, and pumps them into a sweet spot hard. He just wants to get an idea of the feeling of your pussy when it cums.
Suckling at your clit, fingering you with nice hard rough strokes, closing his eyes like he's the one enjoying it meanwhile he's silent and you're moaning like you're going insane. He can tell you're close and speeds it up.
"Cum cum cum, cum for me. Just let go and cum." he sounds so desperate, and that professional tone of his is finally cracking. "Cum on my fucking face, please."
And he dives his tongue right back into your hole, wriggling his tongue around, resulting in the nastiest wet squelching sound. His lips press flat against your pussy, he draws in a deep breath and your heat is all he smells.
Please cum on my face. Please please please.
"Ah! Fuck! Fuckkkk!"
You gush right on his lips, which are plump and swollen and red and glistening with your slick.
He pulls away and licks his lips and tells you his name.
"Suguru, by the way. My name's Suguru. Hey... can I give you my number?"
Oh he's so smooth. But he's even smoother at the checkout, when he asks if you're free this Friday for a date. At his apartment. With the company of some of his favorite toys.
© arminsumi
Do not plagiarize / repost / translate / copy layouts / etc.
Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.
#smut#mdni#geto#geto suguru#geto x reader#geto smut#geto suguru smut#geto x reader smut#geto x fem reader#geto x you#geto x y/n#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk geto#suguru x reader#suguru smut#suguru#x reader#female reader#fem reader
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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I love my best friend so much but - and I really hate to say it - sometimes I wonder if she uses her brain
#i was telling her about how i’ve been putting tiger balm on my knee before i exercise because i get distracted by the hot/cold sensation#and it makes me focus less on the awkward feeling of doing the exercises#and she was like ‘oh yeah! tiger balm! when i was in thailand the locals told me it helped with mosquitos’#i was like ‘yeah the stuff smells severe; i can see how that would deter mosquitos lol’ and she says ‘a deterrent… yeah… i guess that’s#what they meant for it to be for’ i’m like ‘??? what did you do with it?’ ‘well i put it on my bites’ ‘you put it ON your BITES????’#‘yeah……’ girl. it literally says not to put it on an open wound. put it WHERE you haven’t been bitten? to not get bitten more??????#maybe i’m just being mean but i don’t know how she didn’t put two and two together. i swear she never reads the instructions on stuff#and also never googles anything#like why have i just googled ‘tiger balm mosquito’ and got results for ‘tiger balm MOSQUITO REPELLENT SPRAY’. that’s the NAME of the product#REPELLENT. if it was a treatment surely it’d be labelled that???#jesus fucking christ. if she had the actual ointment i could somewhat understand thinking it’d heal the bites but a spray… a repellent spray#she even said it didn’t do anything and that she continued using it… why…..#this person is giving evidence in a court of law later this week. no i can’t explain further. god give me strength#oh she’s also anxious about every facet of the court situation (which i understand) but refuses to google and research any of it#so i end up googling it and being like ‘no you’re not going to be left in a room alone with the defendant you fucking idiot. if that was#part of the process don’t you think there’d be a lot more dead witnesses??? USE YOUR BRAIN’#like i know you own a smartphone. please use it for something other than sending me facebook reels and ordering bad dresses from shein#i love her but she tests me every day#personal
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·.⌇ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. you leave megumi with your husband so you can make them breakfast. you quickly realise that that might have backfired.
wc. around 1.3k
tags. dad!toji x wife!female reader. fluff. reader gets called ‘mama’ by both toji & megumi. half beta read.
“ow, careful there, brat.”
your husband’s deep voice echoes from within the bathroom. you’ve left megumi in his care this morning so you’d be able to make breakfast in peace. toji was all grumpy about it, since he had to wake up early when he had no work, but eventually agreed to your proposal.
you hum your favorite song while frying eggs. the sizzling in the pan did help avert your attention from toji’s grunts of annoyance somewhere in the distance, though only for a couple seconds. your hear your child’s laughter slip between the noises of aggravation. it piques your interest.
“one more time and i’m putting y’r ass in time out,” toji’s deep voice sounds muffled. he sounds rather serious about whatever is bothering him.
you turn the stove off and walk towards the hallway, standing at the doorframe as you look in the direction of the bathroom. you tilt your head and try your best to pick up on snippets of the conversation between your husband and son.
the sound of bottles dropping on the floor is the first thing that allows you to guess that megumi’s acting up. you know how mischievous your little toddler can get, especially at his age. toji isn’t one to gentle parent his kid—he tries to, of course, but sometimes he can’t help but be a bit rough.
“megumi fushiguro.”
you raise your eyebrows as toji uses your child’s full name. he rarely does, only when he’s really upset or about to lose his marbles. you decide to see what was going on for yourself. you walk towards the bathroom, cleaning your hands against the material of your apron. you knock once before pushing the door open.
you stick your head through the little gap, ready to identify the cause of the commotion. the first thing you notice is the chaos on the floor; bottles, tubes, toothbrushes, and all other kinds of products lay cluttered on the bathroom tiles.
your eyes then land on your husband’s broad and scarred back, “hey, honey. did something hap—”
your voice trails off once toji turns around, revealing the jaw dropping scene. nearly his entire face is covered in loads of shaving cream and even his black hair hasn’t escaped the soft foam.
the bathroom counter is completely wet, and the water runs down the edges in small drops. the culprit of this entire scene is sitting right on that same counter, clapping his dirty hands together that were smeared with toji’s shaving cream.
you blink and walk towards the two. you can’t possibly be mad at the sight, finding toji’s situation more funny than worrisome. You try to act serious and clear your throat, “uh, yeah. so what’s happened here?”
your husband rolls his eyes and nods his head at the little boy in front of him, who’s giggling and kicking his legs. toji tries to wipe the shaving cream from his nose, attempting to get it out of his hair as well, “i tried to be a good dad and include him in my morning routine, that’s what.”
the man clicks his tongue as he now realises how dumb of a mistake that was, “gave him the opportunity to put some shaving foam on my jaw ‘n the brat totally blew it. started attackin’ me with the stuff.”
toji grumbles. he wipes away the foam that got on the mirror afterwards. it’s nearly gotten everywhere. he lightly nudges megumi’s forehead with a scoff, “never again, y’hear? the little shit can’t sit still for even one second.”
that explains the stuff on the floor. you know that megumi could grow bored easily if he isn’t the centre of attention. he’d start doing anything to be the focus of his parents. toji probably didn’t pay him much mind, wanting to get his morning routine over with.
“language, honey.” you sigh and look down at megumi who’s still reaching his messy hands up to his dad.
toji huffs and leans back, not giving the little boy a chance to put more shaving cream on his face. he’s learnt his lesson; kids do not understand it when you tell them to ‘only put a little bit’.
megumi whines and threatens to throw a tantrum. you notice that immediately and try to keep his mind off things by picking him up. you turn on the faucet and try to wash his little hands, “c’mon. give mama your hands.”
the little boy shakes his head furiously, squirming in your embrace in attempt to get away. you sigh and grab his little wrists gently. you lower him to the sink, trying your best to wash away the shaving cream as the first step of solving this grande mess.
“no, mama!” megumi is stubborn as he voices his complains. toji watches from a distance whilst he struggles to clean the overload of shaving cream from his face.
you make the mistake of letting go of your child’s wrists to grab a washcloth. megumi takes his chance and pats his messy hands against your face, leaving you no space to process what he’s doing.
your mind takes a second before you realise what’s happening, “hey! quit it, ��gumi.”
you try to grab ahold of megumi’s tiny hands again, but they move too fast for you. plus, he’s pretty skilled at avoiding yours. you can feel the foam slowly cover your entire face; from your jaw and cheeks, to your nose and forehead.
it was inevitable at this point.
“toji, do something,” you grunt and struggle to contain the energetic toddler in your arms. you take a peek at your husband and find him grinning at the predicament you’ve gotten yourself in.
toji simply shrugs and enjoys the fact that you’re experiencing exactly what he had experienced just moments ago. seeing you struggle to contain your disobedient child only proves that his parenting skills are not the problem in this situation, your toddler is.
“ye did that to y’rself, mama.” toji hums in amusement. he leans against the wall, the blue towel now loosely hanging off head after he’s given up on getting the foam out of his hair, “now y’know what i’m talkin’ about. he’s a lil’ monster.”
megumi squeals in victory after he’s gotten both his parents covered in shaving cream. you want to say something to your child, but you’re at a loss for words. even now, you cannot bring yourself to be mad at him. he’s just a kid who’s having fun with his parents.
“i made mama pretty! hehe.” megumi grins and encourages you to look in the mirror. he points at your reflection and awaits the words of confirmation. his blue eyes look up at you, nearly sparkling with joy, admiring how pretty he’s made you look with that white foam all over your face.
toji joins in on the fun. he comes to stand behind you, looking at you through the mirror. he snickers, already forgotten about his irritations that occurred in the first place. he nods in approval at megumi’s words, “gotta agree, son. y’r mama looks much prettier like this.”
your husband’s teasing comment adds fuel to the fire. though again, you cannot bring yourself to be upset at the situation.
you look at the reflection in the dirty mirror. you all may appear disheveled due to the foamy mess on your bodies—and yet even at that moment—the only thing you actually manage to see is a happy family of three.
#sttoru writes.#jjk x reader#toji x reader#jjk fluff#toji fushiguro x reader#toji x you#jjk x you#toji x y/n#jjk x y/n#female reader#divider by cafekitsune
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