#well)

[izafroggo]

I thought you were having a sleepover with Jon

LMAOOOOO

-after Damian turned 16, at the family dinner-

Bruce: so... Damian, do you remember the Oreov girl you met at the gala last week?

Damian: *looks up* yes

Bruce: what do you think of her...?

Dick: *tries not to laugh*

Tim: *fails not to laugh*

Steph: *doesn't even try not to laugh*

Damian: she was... acceptable, if a bit annoying, why do you ask?

Tim: He's trying to set you up!

Batkids -Damian: *laughs*

Damian: *stares blankly*

Bruce: of course, you don't hav-

Damian: father, are you unaware that I'm in a committed relationship?

Duke, Tim and Dick: *choke on their food*

Steph: *chokes on her drink*

Cass: *smiles*

Batkids: WHAT?!

Bruce: ... I-....

Jason: *laughs so hard he almost falls from his chair* oh Jesus Christ! The world's best detectives at their finest!

Dick: you knew? And you didn't tell me?!

Jason: where the fuck do you think he went almost every fucking friday?

Bruce: *turns to Damian* I- I though you were having sleepover with Jon

Damian: I was.

Dick: but you just-

Batfam: *stops all their movememnt as they realize*

Jason: *actually falls from his chair laughing*

Bruce: JONATHAN SAMUEL KENT!

-over at the Kent farm, also having family dinner-

Jon, who heard Bruce shout his name: I feel like I'm going to get murdered by a bat in my sleep

Clark, who was also listening in: right after you explain why I had to find out you're dating Damian throught their family dinner

Jon: hehe... fuck

[sirlancenotalot]

[jayktoralldaylong]

Sometimes I randomly remember that Prospero killed almost half of the student body with a plague of rats just because he was trying to get an A in class. 💀

And I think it's really important to remember that Prospero is a really sweet boy but he can be ruthless if he feels the need to be. 💀 Pluto and Morella, both with claws and a sword, were too squeamish to do it. So Prospero just said "Lead them to me, I'll handle it." And by golly he just let those rats eat people. 💀

_________

Annabel: Montressor, you and William handle the forest with the other ghouls. Make sure they're too distracted to find their way to the tower.

Monty, devilish smile: Roger that. 😏

Annabel: Prospero you're with me. I'll guard the final level, you, Morella and Pluto just make sure that no one comes upstairs. That's not too hard right?

Prospero, already transforming: Understood Annabel. No one comes upstairs.

[masochistic-decaying-corpse]

Damn you're hot

-Directed at everyone, I ain't picky 😏

[underratedalpaca]

Once, in elementary school, I was seven or eight, I went to a church summer camp with my sister and some friends.

We were going to an old house, and while we were in pullman, a story started spreading: the house was haunted by the ghost of a nun who had died there years earlier. (It made sense, as it had been a convent for some times before they started renting it for summer camps.)

Everybody was talking about the dead nun, whose painting hanged upon the bed in which she used to sleep when she was alive. One of my friend was so scared that when they told her she was going to sleep in that room she nearly started crying.

I was not scared of ghost, as I was a quite cynical kid and did not believe in them. I don't remember who slept in that bed, in the end (it could have been me, for what I cared; I'm sure it wasn't one of my friends or my sister. Probably a counselor.)

I didn't really think about it for a good ten years.

Then, one day, I had dinner with this girl, she's nearly 15 years older than me, and my sister mentioned the legend of the dead nun.

She started laughing.

She ended up explaining to us that, when she was little, during a camp in the same house, they had played human Clue; since they needed more characters that the standard ones, they made up a dead nun (since it used to be a convent).

Somehow, during the years, Clue's dead nun became the legend of a cursed ghost of a nun that was used by older kids to scare the younger. (It worked very well, I have to admit, half of our group was in tears.)

My sister is now a camp counselor. She still tells the legend to the kids. She says it's even funnier now that she and the other counselors, who were children with us when we heard it the first time and to whom she explained the origin, know it.

ghost stories are alarmingly easy to spread tbh

when I was like ten I was walking back from the chip shop near my gran's house with a neighbour and we took a short cut down an alley which was enclosed by garages except for one part which was wire fenced and led to the electricity shack

and while I was walking I chucked a chip over the fence. the girl walking with me, C, reasonably asks why I did that

"oh, don't you know?" I say, as if I'm not equally out of my own loop

she shakes her head. the enclosed alleyway has no streetlights. it's after dark. the shack is isolated in the distance.

"a little girl who lived up on the court climbed the fence once on a dare. she went up to the shack and touched it, but there was a wire sticking out, and when she touched it, she got electrocuted and died, right there. if you come back in the daylight, you can still see the black mark."

[editor's note: the court was the smaller road off the side of the crescent, which was the one C's family and my gran lived on. the houses there were slightly more expensive and newer, almost all occupied by wealthy commuters to the city, where most of the crescent houses were occupied by retirees and locals who worked on the trading estate. naturally, crescent kids hated the court. houses there got bricked about once a month.]

"no she didn't," C says

I made up this story for absolutely no reason and with no plan, but I'm not gonna back down now. "sure she did. and if you go past on your way back from the shops and you don't leave her an offering, she'll follow you home through the streetlights. one flickers behind you, then the next, then the next, until you get home. and then the lights start to flocked inside the house. even if you turn out all the electrics before bed, it'll be too late. she's inside. and you'll wake up on the night and see her, and she'll be so awful to see it'll stop your heart."

[editor's note: the streetlights always flickered. this was because our neighbour monkey george kept setting the junction boxes on fire]

"I never did before and she never followed me home!"

"do you come down the alley after dark? or do you take the main road with the streetlights?" I knew she didn't use the shortcut, because I'd been the one to talk her into it that night. she was three years younger than me and scared of the dark.

C claims not to believe me, but she throws a chip over the fence too, and walks the rest of the way looking over her shoulder. I get to pride myself for the night on being good at scary stories, and don't think much more about it.

fast forward six or seven years. I'm back in town. I'm on my way back from the chip shop, taking the same shortcut home. ahead of me on the road are a couple of kids I vaguely recognise as old playmates' younger siblings.

they stop, and I watch one fish out three sweeties from the pack they're sharing. they take one each and throw them over the fence. they carry on walking.

I realise that this is probably my fault, as are any resulting pest control issues around the old electricity shack.

when I get to the fence, I throw a chip over.

[missmitchieg]

Just remembered Luke Former Army Ranger Alvez most likely has a fuckload of bomb related trauma and there have been bombs at least once a season from s14 to s17.

[vicstarzie]

I made up two fankids for Earth and Monty once and now they live inside my brain and DONT PAY RENT??? Like excuse me you two that’s rather impolite??

Anyways their names are Starla and Lake and they are THE goobers ever. Also they’re twins because you gotta have the celestial family staple of a set of twins be passed down the not-bloodline. Honestly I have whole like ideas of what they look like n everything that I just can’t accurately describe via text rn so I’ll get back to y’all on actual like reference as to what they look like BUT, on the outside both of them look like very sweet well mannered kids but after about ten minutes of conversation it is quickly revealed they are actually criminally insane like Monty (they act like their momma to fool people trust, they have about two well behaved endo pieces in their entire bodies)

Starla’s a loud gremlin and Lake is a quiet gremlin. They do IMMEDIATELY cease their shenanigans when confronted by Earth (many people have gotten their stolen wallets returned by two very remorseful children thanks to a simple look of mild disapproval from Earth)

I love rotating these goobers around in my head sm. Also bc older cousins Jack and Dazzle gives me life (they’re simultaneously the worst and best influences on the lil ones, Molten makes sure they aren’t too awful of influences though trust)

[of-stars-and-blossoms]

@dagger-in-hand

[ao3commentoftheday]

[jdc1717]

@yrieso

Ed with the doomed-anime-mom hairstyle

[televisionforwhales]

Wild to think how invested I once was in captain america. They really put something in the winter soldier (2014). you had to be there

[dragonroilz]

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

"Why did I do that?"

close up

[mist-the-wannabe-linguist]

yes indeed his full name used to be Přemysl Otakar II, King of Iron and Gold, King of Bohemia, Duke of Austria and Styria, Margrave of Moravia, Carinthia and Carniola, Lord of Egerland and Pordenone but these days we just call him Victor

the little man in question:

[heckyeahponyscans]

The H5N1 (bird flu) virus is going around, and cats are proving especially susceptible to it. A big cat sanctuary in Washington state had TWENTY of their big cats (cougars, tigers, etc) die of bird flu.

There have also been cases of indoor-only domestic cats getting sick or even dying of bird flu after contracting it from raw cat food. And of course coming into contact with birds also puts your cat at risk.

To keep your cat safe:

Keep them away from birds, preferably keeping them entirely inside. If they are indoor-outdoor then remove any bird feeders from your yard to make cat-bird contact less likely.

Do NOT feed them raw food of any sort, including freeze-dried raw food. Freezing will not kill the virus!

A lot of raw pet food companies are using PR speak to assure customers that their raw food is safe. Remember that at the end of the day their priority is to make money and stay in business. Unless they are testing every bird carcass for the virus their assurances are meaningless, and they certainly are not testing every bird because it would be too expensive.

Cooking kills most viruses and bacteria, including H5N1.