#well the toxic part

[inkskinned]

she says he won't let her get a dog, which is fine, because they're in an apartment, and that's the kind of thing people say about their partners. he won't let me get a dog. and you're at a dinner party and you tilt your head a little to the side just like that dog he won't let her get, because is this the thing that's going to upset you? you don't know every corner of their relationship, she could be joking, they could have had so many healthy conversations about the dog, right, and maybe she's not letting herself get the dog because of money and time and whatever. but, like, she did say let

and she wants to move away from his hometown and he wants to stay and then he tells you with a wink and a conspiratorial stage whisper don't worry i'll convince her and she laughs about it - so clearly this is something they laugh about. but you do just stand there and stare at him like what the fuck, man. you can't say what you want to say which is why do you get the final say on everything because they're both obviously aware of the other person's stance on this and have obviously had private conversations about it and what are you going to do about it except make a scene and then he'll be mad at you and call you one of those bitches behind your back and she'll cut you off, which is a loss that doesn't feel worth it just because he makes you a little skeeved out every 3rd comment

and they both agree he just isn't the type to get flowers which is fine because everyone shows love differently, and are you really gonna judge someone based on their sense of individual relationship responsibility? maybe he's constantly cleaning her car and writing her poems and making her furniture or something. maybe she doesn't even like flowers and this is perfect, actually. and no you couldn't date him, obviously, ew; but like, she tells you she's happy. you almost send her a tiktok that says don't be 25 and the cool girl that doesn't need anything, you'll hate not getting flowers at 30, but that's like, starting drama & you shouldn't start drama needlessly.

and you're a little older than her but not so much older you can pull the whole trust me on this one babe thing and besides that wouldn't have worked anyway (when does it ever) and besides you have trauma so you and your therapist both agree that you're always looking for a problem even when there isn't one. and you tell yourself that just because you see them for 15 minutes every month does not mean you can identify every single red flag based on a single shitty half-joking(?) comment

and besides, what are you going to do? she says i actually wanted another stand mixer but thankfully he stops me when i'm about to spend too much money and you're standing there like are you okay? is this normal? is this just something people say? and again - what are you going to do?

to your therapist you try to language it - it's not, like, any of my business. but sometimes, doesn't it feel like - you should do something. there's got to be something, right? you've tried dropping little hints but they sail right through and you've tried having a single serious conversation and she got upset because why does it matter to you, yes it's different but we're happy, it doesn't need to make sense to you and you're like. really unwilling to push a boundary about it anymore; because the truth is that you know logically it shouldn't matter to you, as long as both parties are happy.

and besides, you've been wrong before. it's just... like, every time you see them both, something else happens, some kind of shiver down your spine like do you even hear each other when you talk. it's their strange, bickering orbit. just the way he's on his phone through dinner or watching sports instead of helping in the kitchen or, fuck, another one of these little throwaway comments he makes about we'll see about that, babe. she laughs when he calls her passions stupid shit and meanwhile she gets him tickets to see the knicks and he tells you well at least she's smart about something and still! it's none of your business.

you say get the dog anyway and she laughs. like, this is is you being funny. and not you saying - no really. get the dog. get the dog and get out of here. pack up and start running.

[fuckmeyer]

the choice between Edward & Jacob is not a question of which relationship is healthier or which partner is best suitable for Bella. neither is correct. neither is best. neither produces a happy ending for Bella. at the end of the day this is still a vampire novel. any choice Bella could make would yield, at best, a bittersweet happily ever after.

if she chooses Edward, she gets the terrifying Breaking Dawn ending: a girl who rejected her call to grow up has hung her love & her eternity on an emotionally stunted partner who hates himself marginally less than he loves her. she's a teen mom with a kid she never wanted who perpetuates the generational trauma passed down from her parents. by keeping this child, the Cullens have set the stage for an uprising/cold war against the Volturi who are likely to take revenge in order to maintain power. Bella is living in a tenuous "dream come true" wrapped in a nightmare & doesn't realize it.

choosing Jacob is the true coming-of-age ending that rips the stitches out of a wound that never fully healed. even if we ignore the fact that she ends up with a man who sexually assaulted her (we must bear in mind Jacob's character is influenced by smeyer's racism, but it did happen), they can't have a secure romantic relationship. based on the high imprinting rate of the pack, Jacob will likely find his imprint in his lifetime & will lose himself to the imprintee. he will no longer be her Jacob. he will inevitably abandon her (whether he wants to or not), & she must reconcile with the reality that she will always be inadequate to Jacob's imprint. & say he never manages to escape the vampires? he will presumably not age for a long time, meaning the relationship Bella always feared with Edward (her being an old grandmother while he stays forever young) remains a possibility. this is the story of a girl who slaps a Band Aid on an open wound & calls herself healed while flinching every time she sees the shadow of the knife that cut her.

if she chooses neither (team therapy), her healing requires her to lose or be at least partially disconnected from everyone she cares about. Bella must spend the rest of her life shut out from one world while never fully existing in her human world ever again. she must always keep secrets. she can never go back home. even in the unlikely event that she manages to escape the Volturi, the threat of being hunted by vampires will never leave her. in addition, she must face her worst fears (aging, losing Edward) while always keeping in mind the immortal life that could have been hers, if only.

even the "healthiest" option produces scars that will never quite heal.

Twilight is a horror. Twilight is a vampire novel. Twilight is gothic. Twilight is fiction. neither Edward nor Jacob is a "bad" choice because neither will give Bella her happily ever after. the choice between Edward & Jacob is simply a matter of which horror story you prefer to read.

[krashlite]

Millie Warm the Kettle,,,

i thought too hard abt bigb's POV and how in both 3L and DL he's caught between two alliances- one with grian and one with ren

something something damned if he does, damned if he doesn't

[eerna]

in a world filled with books written by male authors that make me go "uhhhhh this writer does Not have a good outlook on masculinity and women, this was definitely written by a man", the Chaos Walking trilogy stands as a complete opposite where I spent the entire series being like "WOW I never really thought about masculinity in this way, WOW this is painting a really interesting picture of gender dynamics and generational relationships, this was definitely written by a man"

[radio-zephyr]

alskgjdslk jthe new animated short for hsr,,,,,

the way black swan went from in control, leading the dance and moving with acheron, to being the one moved around, puppeted, torn apart and brought together under acheron's hand. THE SWAN GETTING KILLED BY A SNAKE IN THE BACKGROUND. THE PREDATOR PREY DYNAMIC AS SHE'S HUNTED DOWN OVER AND OVER, BRUTALIZED IN HER MIND before returning out of the abyss of acheron's memories, now the one being dipped as acheron looks down on her impassively.

oairesghdjkair IM GOING INSANE

[cerealmonster15]

jamiazu / ashenviper week day 6: toxic yaoi overblot

SORRY it's very much a rushed mess especially in the lower half jdkslfjksd i was v busy today and trying to hurry to get something done for this before midnight [covers up the clock... i was close enough,,, it's still day 6 in some time zones jkfdlsjfs]

unfortunate that the overblots have so much going on and take me ten billion years to draw otherwise i think id like drawing them more bc they LOOK VERY COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[angelkissedface]

'...so if you don't hear from me, i just want you to know that it's because i never loved you.'

[rabbits-of-negative-euphoria]

hot take I think the sexes would be much happier if we just accepted each other as mysteries instead of constantly shaming one for not being more like the other.

like, personally, in my own life, the whole idea of romance & marriage became way more exciting and attractive when I ditched the notion that men are just bigger stronger women, or women are just smaller prettier men.

like. not only is it okay that men are from mars and women are from venus, it's good.

do I know what's going on in my guy friend's head? I used to think I did, but it turns out I don't. Turns out I've never known what was going through the heads of any of the men in my life. And you know what? what a relief. he can do or say things that don't make sense to me, and they don't have to make sense to me. I know he's a smart, good-hearted guy; I can safely assume he had a reason for saying or doing that thing. And if I listen to him over time, I may even start to understand what that reason was. But I don't have to. What I can recognize instead is that each sex has a wisdom in their way of thinking and doing which befits given situations. More often than not, a situation requires both.

But you simply can't get both from one person, and you shouldn't demand it. And what a relief knowing my guy friend doesn't expect guy thoughts and behavior from me.

[starflungwaddledee]

lost a bet with @eliastheownerof0axolotls, so here's today's starstruck shipaganza entry (and also a belated birthday present for elias) featuring his oc flower dee and the rather absurd "blush off":

[noeggets]

All of a sudden Pho's got a new partner and now everything's all peachy... we've been partners longer why isn't what we have like that?

or

Diamond tussles with jealously of another kind

[biblicalhorror]

Aroace Riz real but also Fabian is SO clearly in love with him and Riz has no idea

[bastianhallix]

need to come out and say that endgame can actually be fun once you get the hang of it 😊 it's not for everyone, but i'm begging y'all to not knock it just because it seems grindy or gatekeepy or whatever the case may be.

[om0000]

the fact that there r no female watchdogs on the skullship is fucked up for obv reasons n stuff but tbh. if there were ONLY women on the skullship i wouldnt bat an eye. id think its pretty cool actually . the yuri empire ... is that a double standard

[narwhalandchill]

oh my fucking god i feel. SO stupid rn at How i didnt make the (super sane very normal just absolutely. Yes. Surely) connection earlier but uhh

so anyway im now like 89% certain that whatever the "traces" of the narwhal that remain on ajax and facilitate their (ever-growing) innate connection are like. an actually fundamental aspect of it (them?) more or less.

why? because if you consider its pov just for a moment. the narwhal was literally about to depart teyvat for good. it had nearly finished consuming the primordial sea and preparing to breach surface to finish the job by eating the french for the leftovers their human bodies were made from. its an interstellar voyager it does not linger on planets it devours. it goes glug glug and it leaves.

and like if it wasnt for traveler intervening its confirmed through narzissenkreuz and renes world formula that teyvat wouldve just been destroyed. no one could have stopped the narwhal not neuvillette not focalors not anyone.

so what was the one other thing it did right before going for that french brunch? calling for ajax. getting them reunited in the primordial sea. like all the possible implications aside bc theres many different ways to speculate on the exact reasons why and the nature of that link. the point remains.

it wasnt leaving teyvat without finding him.

like the narwhal is about to fucking Dip from this cringe planet and whatever part of it that ajax carries within himself his narwhal Absolutely wanted to be reunited with. what the fuck am i supposed to read from that. hoyo???????!??! answers?!?!?!

and its not only the calling from the narwhal side itself either bc this is ALL coinciding with the growth of a 'restless power' within ajax and his vision malfunctioning (the things celestia is literally confirmed to harvest energy thru to repair its damaged authority) and his connection with the narwhal reaching an actual conscious level (arguably subconscious n emotional too bc i find it Curious his mood is poor right as the narwhal is repeatedly described as positively malding to the point its boss fight mechanic is literally a rage meter). ajax' power is growing. his destiny is starting to shift and something is drawing him to fontaine... right as the narwhal is getting close to finished with the primordial sea. funny how it overlaps eh. how it aligns 🤨🤨 why are they orbiting each other like this (they should kiss)

(& not to even Mention how ajax just Happened to get that absolutely exponential and borderline unbelievable feat of power spike in extending his foul legacy endurance as massively as he did. while. within the primordial sea. with his narwhal. who had at that point all but incorporated the power of that sea into itself. i s2g if childe was getting passive home turf co-op bonus exp with a 4x multiplier automatically the whole 40+ days 💀💀)

[welcometogrouchland]

I also think it's nice that they made Camilla a sci-fi nerd and Luz a fantasy nerd. They're genres that are often seen as completely opposing one another by many people, which is what we're led to believe about Luz and Camilla in season 1. Luz is silly, nerdy, frequently in over her head and irresponsible and loves the boiling isles. We're led to believe that Camilla is the normal, conventional TV mother who'd be disgusted and terrified by the demon realm if she saw it.

Then yesterday's lie gives us a lot of nuance to this, and we realize that while they're still very different and now on opposite sides of a conflict, both mother and daughter are incredibly kind people (seen in their treatment of Vee) who love each other but struggle to make the right choices without hurting one another.

Then thanks to them drops all this Camilla characterization and we realize! She was a nerd too this whole time! The wedge between Camilla and Luz is motivated by past traumas and grief! and for the future has them switching sides on the central conflict of where Luz should stay (Camilla now wanting Luz in the demon realm because it's what's best for her, and Luz believing that staying in the human realm is what's best for the people she loves). They finally talk and realize that, like Willow pointed out earlier in the ep, the two are so alike. Camilla reveals that she's a secret nerd too! That she had a hard time growing up and accidentally hurt Luz trying to save her from the same fait! It's so important to me that Camilla keeps calling Luz a good witch. It's affirming her interests and goals, reminding her that she's just as good as the hero of her favorite story. And Luz finally only realizes that she wants to be understood...when she's finally able to understand her mom. When she realizes that the woman she loves and admires is just as much of a nerdy screw-up as her and that there's hope for her. Her palismen ends being multiple animals at once, showing both how Luz making unconventional choices (like carving an egg) keeps paying off for her and how her potential is limitless now that she finally knows and accepts her own goals, but to me it also reminds of the fact that Camilla is a vet and passed a love of all the weird and unliked animals (like wolves, possums, snakes, etc) to her.

It's just so so sweet and it really shows how much love and thought the crew put into this mother daughter storyline (FTF haters are not welcome on this page, respectfully). I can't wait to see how both of these misunderstood but healing women (who radiate "little/big sister" and "mom" energy respectively) are gonna interact with a) the lonely, easily manipulated and well intentioned but ignorant collector (a mix of both their interests as a magic being with a space motif! I just realized that lol) and b) the nasty puritan white man who's really obsessed with conforming to society's norms even when it literally doesn't benefit him at all.

Anyway, I believe in noceda( AND clawthorne 👀) family supremacy 💙

[icyblogs]

wc: 471

Is this a niche? Probably but you know what it’s all good. Anyway-- Thinking about COD and DND. I’m imagining this specific scenario with a patron!Ghost x warlock!Soap x reader.

Reader is just some plain ol’ human in a world of, well, fantasy with things beyond the wildest imagination- dealt the wrong cards in the hands of fate. Maybe for plot sake let’s say someone close to you died: a family or a lover, or maybe you’re running from something in your past. Something that causes you to look for ways to gain more power- or to protect yourself, something, right? Years of reading in the depths and restricted areas of libraries, of tracking down people- of searching before you find what you’re looking for. Going to what you would consider far away from civilization- let’s say the mountains- in case you unleash some sort of unholy evil on the land, looking to summon a fiend in order to get whatever it was in your heart that you desired. 

Long story short, the reader would attempt to summon said fiend or ancient being- and maybe fail instead of succeeding? Maybe they misspoke the incantation, or had the wrong offerings or simply misunderstood the situation- not realizing that just because you try to do a summoning doesn’t necessarily mean it would work. And of course, such beings that lock in a pact with people.. In more cases than not it’s typically at the lowest point in their lives, giving the poor unfortunate souls an offer they usually can’t refuse. So I'm thinking the reader ends up failing in the summoning quite miserably but of course being out far from civilization for the ritual causes well.. Something has gone wrong. You end up nearly dead, just adding to the series of unfortunate events surrounding your existence as a whole; and guess whose attention you capture? Patron!Ghost- offering you a chance at life- at a chance to survive. All you have to do is take the leap. Oh forming a contract? Silly thing, you already offered yourself as a whole with that little ritual you did earlier! Aren’t you happy- isn’t this what you wanted? 

Look- he’s even so generous to have one of his oldest worshippers warlocks to help show you the ropes. Isn’t that so nice of him? After all you’re just a little human with nothing else going for you. Everything else you've known is gone! What do you mean you don’t want to be locked away- this is what you wanted! You wanted the power to protect yourself- and well you got it in the physical form of a new guard dog! (: And better yet you’re getting all the safety you could ever need, tucked away from everything else! You don’t want this anymore? You’d really try to leave a pact? How cute. 

EDIT: If you liked this, you're in luck!! Started writing a story about this here! (: