#well my random thoughts & notes

[myfairstarlight]

It's the way Aziraphale is a terrible liar and magician but he always effortlessly pulls through whenever it is to protect Crowley.

Exhibit A:

In season 1, when Gabriel and Sandalphon drop by for a surprise visit, and they can tell something smells evil, Aziraphale very smoothly lies which is one of the only times he isn't an anxious mess in front of the Archangels.

Exhibit B:

The picture swapping in season 2 which is emphasised even further later when Aziraphale tries to recreate the magic trick once they're back (safe) in the bookshop and just fails lol

There's no conclusion to this I just thought it was neat and I needed to ramble a bit

Edit: OK there is a conclusion, actually (my brain just needed to process lol). I think it really reinforces how at his core, Aziraphale is a protector. A guardian, if you will. It comes naturally to him. We see it with the way he decides to help Gabriel in s2 with no hesitation, with how he immediately puts the humans' safety first when the demons attack the bookshop. We're often so focused on Crowley's protective side towards our angel, it's easy to miss the maybe more subtle ways Aziraphale protects him right back.

And I think it could play quite a part in his decision to go back to Heaven. Perhaps it's wishful thinking but I don't think he'll fumble his role as Supreme Archangel, if we are to believe he made that decision partly to protect Crowley, then I 100% believe he'll pull through. Because he gets it right when it matters, after all.

[siryyeet]

Oh you have complicated feelings towards Germany? Let me make 91836373 assumptions about it with my piss poor understanding of history, not listen to germans at all and then come to a horrendously bad and false conclusion on why that is! Also I think you germans should stop feeling guilty and be proud of your country again!

[emry-stars-oc]

(in order: Quinton, Estes, Bo)

Im gonna really try to use this blog more this year!! So have more of Q and Bo, this time with Estes! She's basically Quinton's childhood friend and eventually frenemies with Bo too 💕

Estes can be pretty protective of Q just because he's always been so nervous they're both used to it happening this way by now, to the point that Q's official royal guard wonders if he's really needed sometimes lol

[bookwyrminspiration]

Imagine if Sophie shattered. there's no one to fix her, she's the only one who can do that. you'd need a new person to fix her. some of her friends are ethically questionable enough to try, to make someone like Forkle made her. logistics aside, can you imagine how fucked up it would be to be that person? to be created solely in the name of saving someone else? that your existence is for one other person? that you were created out of desperate love for someone who isn't you? sophie was made with a vague purpose, but this is different. this is specific. what do you do with yourself?

[termagax]

re: "good girl" i think they say it once randomly as a joke and its just one of those things that gets him wayyy more than they expected it would. so now its their secret weapon and they use it very sparingly and every single time he gets super embarrassed about it but it works ill tell you what.

[digyoman]

lloyd henreid. like if you agree.

[sysig]

Really digging out the old OCs now; Pan-na, Pilok, Azalea, squirrel boys Will and Damien, and Cupid and Venus <3 (Patreon)

[sskk-manifesto]

(*・ω・*)b♪

[catch57]

Notes from this book! I don’t necessarily think it’s a must read (is any dylan bio?) but it gave me some fun images& thoughts. spoilers ⬇️

kind of did not care so much abt this sons life, he should have just posted his dad's cassette tapes and called it a day. goes into how his dad never wanted to reveal stuff abt dylan like this but was strapped for cash, but the son kinda didnt needa do all this. says victor and bob used to joke that whoever died first should make a biography where they totally lie abt everything that the other did

the idea of having a best friend like that, much less bob dylan 😐 says bob liked victor bc he knew how to give him space, didn't take advantage of him, and knew how to riff and learn abt strangers

says greenwich village bob would never sign up for a set, would always just ask the bar owner if he could play after everyone else

bob got rlly mad at victor for meeting his mom/going inside the house after she invited him in & told him it was bobs birthday. reaal.

went to see striking coal miners in kentucky, donated clothes like (communist<3) suzie told him, then kinda left bc they felt they weren't really helping by being there

lowkey almost got crowd crushed aftr the first royal albert hall, made him kind of dazed walking out and he realized life wouldnt b the same anymore. had to seek more to keep his privacy. later says he stopped allowing cameras bc he saw the way ppl acted at a beatles shows, all the flashing.

victor would go exploring and bob would always stay inside and lock himself in a room to write. was really able to sit down and play with words until he finished it. didn't ask others for advice, only sought to see others reaction to what he had written. "bob would always write abt himself" (implies other songs like isis were more of his "fantasies" played out - i think i see this in why he got offended whn ppl not liking billy the kid movie?). songs like this as an escape from himself.

got locked in a restaurant bathroom for more than an hour loll

joan's dad would chastise him over 'the times r changing' bc he thought bob should respect his elders

would get pretty drunk, would get victor to speak for him when he didn't want to

"bob wasn't a sexual guy" went kinda into that bob didn't like women who made advances on him, he liked women who were more passive and would be around whn he wanted, not when he didn't.

talked abt how they were always reinventing their fashion, trying to even outdo the age, would pick out crazy clothes together

says motorcycle accident bob was going like 5mph and just fell over loll.

while sarah and his relationship deteriorating, she got hurt upon hearing idiot wind. (kind of terrifying for him imo to release something so vulnerable but also for her to hear that

dog named brutus. he saw it got hit by a car then be totally ok

got coffee spilled all over him when the tour bus lurched forward, when they were already going to be late to the show

still sleeping at hiltons? loll

kind of ignoring the story abt preforming in israel. kinda gross! Edit: oh also allegations against victor in the 90s that bob got him out of jail for. not much info abt this available ☹️

Show where it was thundering and everyone told him not to but victor kinda encouraged him to play in inches of water. imagine seeing shelter from the storm like that! i think in a soviet-bloc country.

"bob wasn't an activist" i think i agree with this, says even tho he was at a lot of big events and stuff he wasn't really a part of them, more an observer . bailed on david crosby's book

overall i think this just confirmed him as more of an introvert than some people would believe him to be, which is sweet in my eyes & reminds me to take a lot more time for myself & my own interests

[virtualized-vocalists]

🌹} Teal colored hues gazed rather vacantly at the crimson color staining pale digits... It'd been nothing more than a simple moment of lost balance thanks to an unnoticed higher section of sidewalk, and yet-- Before the blonde realized it, he'd tripped-- somehow managing to bite an inner section of his lip while catching himself.

Now, it seemed all he could taste was that seeping flavor of iron-- Even if truly, there wasn't that much of it... And while thought should've been spared for what to do about the small amount now present on his fingers... Presently, it seemed the sight had him frozen for the moment.

[outlying-hyppocrate]

forcing me to lift the spoon when i cannot, now here we are consumed by sickness

[wanderingmind867]

My phone's notes app is still crashing often. But my phone is otherwise working pretty well, I think. It's old, so the battery does go down a bit faster than a newer phone, perhaps. But it works fine and it's not dying the way my really old tablet is. So I think the notes app might just be unable to handle how many notes I have. Because I have way too many notes. When reading the Percy Jackson books at school, I made like 50-100 notes as I read. I also have millions of notes about concept ideas for stories or shows or comics. And then there's also all the many, many vents in there. So it's a lot. And I wonder if the app can't handle all of it.

[thethingything]

so CBT never worked for us in therapy. basically every instance of it was therapists trying to get us to stop being anxious about very real problems that were very likely to happen. like, situations that were not only likely, but would be very dangerous if they did happen. sometimes even things that had already happened and were likely to happen again.

meanwhile we have an app on our phone that guides you through various CBT exercises and it turns out when we use that for the kind of shit where we already know our brain is being irrational and we just want to get our thoughts together and work through the issue by writing it out, it works really fucking well and oh look suddenly we've been doing CBT for an hour and processed the root cause of several key emotional issues we've been having for years.

funny how that works. it's almost like we can actually figure out for ourselves when something is irrational and when it's an actual real problem that could put us in danger and shouldn't be dismissed. who'd have fucking thought it

[nerrissadevampyre]

Guys anxiety sucks not because of the lack of peace of mind but also because of all these psychosomatic symptoms that include:

stomach upsets

migraines & headaches

feeling cold for no reason especially in hands and feet

Dizziness/lightheadedness

feeling electricity go down your spine

And i really could go on forever but being told to "calm down" really isn't gonna work magically by itself when the symptoms get a tad too physical. So please just don't immediately say "calm down" to someone because even if the mind quietens for a moment the body is still keeping the anxiety trapped inside.

No purpose for this random vent I suppose I just felt the need to scream those words into the void.

[soichirosgayson]

Just some Light thoughts (pun)

personally I don’t like the idea of Light being controlled by the death note or somehow just forced into committing all the atrocities he did.

i fell in love with death note and Light bc of the fact he was the perfect son/student who managed to become a villain, and like it wasn’t a completely ridiculous leap. we see very little of preKira!Light or Yotsuba!Light even, but we definitely see the fact he is isolated from his peers (superiority complex?), he justifies everything he does and he does seem to have a childish notion of justice

some HCs i personally have about his upbringing is that whilst his parents weren’t abusive, they embodied the typical toxicity stemming from asian cultures (source: i am also the asian firstborn in my family) like his parents disregarding his feelings, soichiro trying to model his son after himself, expect perfect grades, expecting him to have the perfect nuclear family to carry on the family name or some BS. trust me personally, that is a lot of pressure that u do become a control-freak; its really not that unbelievable to see Light become a villain

everything about Light after Kira was always there, but continuing to write in or leaving the death note was his crossroads and he made his choice

L thing is that’s what makes death note amazing to me?? bc we have a lot of characters who don’t do the right/wrong thing “just because”, but because they have their own selfish reason for doing so. like even L the hero/antagonist isn’t the world’s greatest detective bc he’s altruistic, he does it bc it challenges him

upon my first reading of death note, i struggled initially to comprehend why Kira was wrong. then i thought about it, and the first idea that came to me was that even if you have justification for killing, then you always would’ve been okay with killing (unless ofc in specific situations). take Light for example, ppl think Yotsuba!Light is OOC but i just think that Kira!Light was Yotsuba!Light with a complete disregard for what society thought was acceptable; ergo he didn’t repress his ‘undesirable traits’ like his superiority complex or the dark thoughts he’d get. he is uninhibited. for Light, being Kira isn’t about killing; we see from the first few chapters that he actually loses weight and pukes the first time with Shibuimaru, so no, it’s not about the act. but it is still about power. to me, being Kira was about taking control when he had very little in his own life, plus he was bored and bc if anyone could, it would be him. No one else could ‘handle’ it like him

i also prefer the manga ending for Light over the anime ending. Light, especially at that point, would’ve never regretted anything. he has the superiority complex of a god to the point that he refuses to be wrong. i acc HC that Light also doesn’t completely plan everything to a tee (although he is very smart still), but when things go wrong, he adapts and takes advantage of it and still says “everything is going according to plan”. it is acc so beautiful/poignant/powerful/poetic to me that this guy, with a superiority complex so big he kills off a hundred thousand+ people, ends up in MU; a place where everyone is equal no matter what

for me, personally (u can disagree tho), Light becomes rlly boring if his actions are justified or redeemed. most of the characters in DN actually become rlly boring to me if they’re completely shown to be good/bad

[harrowscore]

the fact that i had accidentally created a similar magic system to full metal alchemist (with even a similar motivation for the male antihero - that is, bringing someone back from the dead, with horrifying consequences) before i even watched one episode of the show is extremely funny to me ngl