#well i'm obviously not okay right now
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Heh. I knew this would happen someday. Here's some vent art of Vail. Threw this together in a short time to get out my feelings on the bad ending. I really wish I had make the expression more visceral. To show the amount of devastation, betrayal, and absolute shame of the moment. They made their escape and were presumed dead. If space had sound, just imagine the most gutteral, heartbroken wails you can possibly think of.
#i'll be okay#well i'm obviously not okay right now#maybe i'll talk to someone tomorrow#if anyone is there#god look at me#i can't even name names#you know who it is anyway#who else would it be#self ship#selfship#self shipping#selfshipping#s/i#self insert
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Look all I'm saying is if that a shadow game can work THAT well and be so well designed story wise and gameplay wise
HE can work
#sonic#silver the hedgehog#sonic the hedgehog#silver right now is such a open canvas of a character#story wise and gameplay wise#he's been a side character for so long and in the one time he was a main character his whole story was basically axed from canon#he's definitely been explored since then but not to extent we've probably wanted with this character-#and I'm talking mostly game silver cause obviously in IDW and archie he got some LOVE there#even if we never saw idw silver actually explore his good future#which i still think is a shame but also apparently if sega doesn't want that to be explored in a comic and saved for the games then#THEY BETTER EXPLORE IT SOON#and honestly gameplay wise he needs another shot as well#like C'MON his psychic's just needed better...well...PSYCHIC'S TO WORK#can you imagine what cool and fun movement he'd have now that sega is now slowy understanding what kinda stuff they wanna do with#the sonic franchise again and how it should play#i don't know if i should fully expect a silver game at any point#but he should ATLEAST be a second main character in a new game so people can be reintroduced to him and they can cook with him#IM TIRED OF SEEING MY SON GETTING HATED ON OR CALLED LAME#I WANT PEOPLE TO BE REMINDED OR SHOWN HOW COOL AND FUN HE CAN BE WHEN GIVEN THE SPOTLIGHT#archie and idw are the best examples of him as a character#he is a lovable friend and ally#but serious when he can be character#and his powers are literally so COOL AND INHERENTLY UNIQUE AND POWERFUL COMPARED TO OTHER'S IN THE CAST#like when surge saw silver come in casually carrying a large object and she got nervous THAT'S WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT#THIS MAN CAN BE A THREAT.#okay rant over DHDNDNDB
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i swear my stepdad is so illogical AND stubborn it hurts
#okay so strap in coz this is a wild ride#tl;dr we have been without heat and warm water for years and i mean literal years#because he refuses to pay off some debt he built up with the company#because he feels unfairly treated (let's not get into this. it absolutely makes no sense) by the company#so instead of doing the logical step of growing some balls and admitting he made a mistake and paying off his shit#he's been looking for a new supplier all over but the deal IS#that he's been doing this with a couple of places before and people are hesitant to even make him any offers#and you'd think that learning about THAT at least now he'd be like. idk willing to just pay off his debt and be done with it#but you'd be WRONG#now he's looking to just have our entire heating system replaced for the teeny tiny price of 25000 bucks#mind you his debt isn't even a THIRD of that#and obviously he can't afford those 25000 bucks#so what's his next step now you might wonder?#well good thing you asked. his next step is going off on ME for not paying towards the new heating he wants#and now that that's not working for him guess what he did next?#that's right. he bought shit expensive 'space heaters' that are pretty much just small little boxes that you plug into an outlet#and he swears up and down that they're going to heat up our house (it's negative degrees outside)#(it's obviously not working)#and genuinely. all i can think of is how much money he shoved into trying to macgyver this house into a house with warm water and heating#and how he blew off ten thousands of bucks he got paid when he retired within the span of two weeks#when this debt could have been paid off ten times over by now#so now you might be thinking. okay tiago. why don't you move out#good question you see. my mom is disabled and reliant on someone who cares for her#something that he can't won't and shouldn't do because the last time he sorta kinda tried she almost died and we had to call an ambulance#she wouldn't eat a thing if i weren't there to cook. the house would fall into disrepair if i wouldn't do maintenance all around#i've set up (functioning) heat in some areas she occupies and i've gotten a boiler going so she at least has warm water#i'm paying off their bills to make sure he doesn't skip on paying any others. i'm buying groceries for them because again they wouldn't get#any for themselves#and finally. i've offered to pay off his debt so that we can finally live like normal fucking people do#and guess what. guess WHAT. he just got mad at me for not adding money to that 25000 bucks pool for that new fancy heating he wants
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(horrible) hole (deadly trap) I put my foot (rolled my ankle) (didn't see it) into (splashed myself against the floor) (faceplanted in front of a room of teenagers)
#I would not have survived in vietnam#they would have gotten my ass so hard#anyway now every joint I have hurts#but it's the kind of thing where you have to pretend to be totally okay because the class teacher was right there freaking out#and I'm not hurt at all#but letting on to the fact that I'm even a little sore would have escalated things to a state of hysteria that wasn't warranted#and would have made a big huge fuss#I made a joke about how now that I've faceplanted in front of them they should all feel comfortable in front of me#and that seemed to go over well#but I'm going to hurt like a son of a bitch tomorrow for real#need a new work tag#herr professor sachermorte#there we go#subject to change obviously
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is my writing actually terrible or is it just 2 months old
#i have the opposite problem of most people apparently#if it's not what i want to write/read RIGHT NOW I'm like well obviously this sucks#even though past me! wanted to read it enough to write it!!!!#i get kudos on my fics daily so i know they're not bad#people like them#my brain is just. wired weird. idk#this post brought to you by the urge to entirely rewrite the first 3 scenes of butterflies and bullshit AGAIN#when they're literally FINE#i swear a need a hype man to read my stuff while I'm sitting next to them and get excited and tell me their most favourite lines#so i can be like ohhhhhh okay it's good i see
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i don't think i'll ever get over how people treat kids that aren't good in school as worthless no matter what. "oh it can't be that bad" my guy idk how to tell you this but the last time i went to a normal high school the principal called me into his office to brag about how he failed me in all of my classes before the semester was even finished & i should quit while i'm ahead cuz i'm too stupid ("officially" diagnosed as such by a school counselor & a psychiatrist!!) to succeed. & this is considered normal
#''poor teachers!!'' yeah well at least they can fucking quit & go work somewhere else#''okay but times are different than when you went to school in the 1970's'' this was 2016 my guy. shut the fuck up#''well maybe you were a violent & severely misbehaving kid!'' i wasn't. i have ADHD & severe anxiety disorder & depression#my biggest crime was being too exhausted & dopamine deprived to do my homework#my dad talks about how he was treated in school & i'm like damn dude i went through the same exact shit#how is it that a majority of teachers & principals are still abusive power-tripping pieces of shit 60 years later#why haven't things changed#well actually the answer is simple & it's because they want disabled people to disappear#& if abled students that simply disagree with the way things are done get caught in the crossfire then that is acceptable#because anyone not fit to make billionaires a billion more dollars should just die!#anyways here are my original tags from that gravity falls post i just reblogged:#I know this is supposed to be an appreciation post but like. ''for being the ''dumb one'' he's surprisingly rational.'' seriously??#as ''the dumb'' but ''surprisingly rational'' one of my family this is THEE biggest misunderstanding & it drives me up the fucking wall#just because a person struggles in one area doesn't mean they're stupid & should be an irrational dumb dumb idiot baby holy fuckkk#sorry to OP but even when people try to ''appreciate'' stuff like this they can't help but throw in insults#simply because they genuinely believe that ''even though you're stupid you SURPRISINGLY act competent sometimes'' is a compliment#I'm less mad about this & more sad that this kind of shit is still so prevalent in 2024#both Stanley & Stanford are smart & competent & rational#they just show it in different ways & exceed in different (sometimes overlapping) subjects#this is normal for human beings but the big societal scam is that if you don't do it in the way Ford does then you're stupid & a failure#& being surprised that Stan is also smart & competent in his own ways is the biggest sing that you fucking fell for it dude#btw before i get @ ed for this. i WAS that kid#i was so much that kid the school actually diagnosed me with stupid & spiteful & i was told to quit while i was ahead (they failed me befor#obviously this is very personal for me but also i don't think people realize the language they use is on purpose & it's used specifically t#& it's still happening right now & that just. makes me wanna cry honestly#like why are people still surprised that people can specialize in something despite bad grades in school#you know. the thing we all know is literally rigged to either put you in jail or in a factory to make billionaires more money.#man sorry for the rant the original spirit of the post is super correct but like fuck HS grade-centric judging of people's entire character#Stan being able to defeat Bill is just not at all surprising if you were him or knew/know someone like him#or really paid any attention at all to the show while watching it
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Update on Town Square:
I got in and it is fun :3 you can just like. Choose a cookie to mess around as. I decided to be Alchemist.
Except apparently there's ALCHEMIST CONTENT IN THIS UPDATE??????? and I don't know how to get to it 😭😭 I saw someone else ask that in the middle of running around the square and I just. Started circling them dndjdjdjdnmd
Btw just wanted to highlight these parts of the title screen since I didn't really show my appreciation for them earlier.
(also also I love Granola Cookie already just-)
#cookie run#cookie run kingdom#alchemist cookie#Btw I haven't posted much about witch's castle but I am incredibly cracked at that game and am having fun#Even if it is uh. A bit buggy sometimes dndnndndndnd#Look when I was like 9 I ascended to godhood at gardenscapes reached my full potential there and the skills carried over#(Ok I'm exaggerating obviously but-)#I probably should post more. Gingerbright says Yippee like an autism creature-#I'm still waiting to get alchemist in that game I wanna see her room decor stuff 😭 and I don't wanna look it up online-#It would be so easy to but I wanna get it in my own...#Same with vampire's but I actually have him you just get him for free#Also the little favorite items just. I need my lore okay I need my lore-#I might actually give in and look it up eventually i'm dying to see dndnndndndndndd#Yeah I just. Idk I'm very happy right now.#Ok well school's been making Gaming a bit difficult but that's just because we had a lot of projects and stuff but things should calm down
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if I skip 1.6's banners... surely I'll be able to get both Evelyn and Vampire Aventurine Hugo Vlad as a F2P........... right.....?
#abbey plays zzz#like all I need is to not lose the 50/50 on Evelyn's banner#and that should be enough...#RIGHT?#I hate how good this game's characters are I want them all 😭#at first I was gonna skip Astra Yao#but of course she's too good to skip her as the Robin character of Zenless#so I got her#then I was like 'okay time to save up I'm skipping Evelyn'#BUT THEN I THOUGHT HEY... MY LIGHTER WOULD APPRECIATE AN EVELYN#AND NOW I WANT TO PULL FOR HER AS WELL#FUCK#and OBVIOUSLY I need Hugo Vlad because OF COURSE I do#he looks like Aventurine I mean how could I skip him#I'm such a weak ass mf#and there's no way I can get both like there's no way#this game always makes me reach pity#I haven't had a single early and I'm a Day 1 player#sigh we'll see 😔
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i love you I love you I love writers that do short paragraphs in fanfic (I have eye problems and my eyes skip around so reading big paragraphs can be painful) and writers who do short chapters in books (I have no sense of time and it's nice to regularly have a built in break point, and it gives me a shot of dopamine to finish a chapter so I can trick myself into reading more) (reading is my favourite thing to do probably but my brain hates it for some reason so I have to trick it into doing it.....even though I really love doing it???)
#Reading#Books#Ao3#I still remember how exited I was when I first read pride and prejudice#I loved the book as well obviously but like half of my enjoyment came from there being short chapters#I can read faster when it's like that#Actually shorter paragraphs tend to also work better for me in books as well#Because my eyes hate me and can't focus on the right line#And I hate having to use paper or something to guide my eyes#I don't really like short chapters in fanfic tho#Long ones are fine but medium is best#Like if there's two fanfics or two books that based on what they are about I would enjoy equally as much as the other and the same word cou#I'm gonna choose the one with the smaller chapters and smaller paragraphs#Okay now I just feel like I'm complaining#I'm not trying to#I'm just feeling exited about the concept of reading and trying to express some information about it#Ig#Idk#Rant#Maybe#But in a positive way#There's a word for that I'm certain#But I can't think of it rn
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my bro making my fave meal gluten free for me!!! 😭❤️
#fettuccine alfredo my BELOVED#have had it once since going gf 💔#he def is doing it bc i just got dumped 😂#which is v sweet of him tbh#i'm actually pretty ok with it now it was just right after it happened that i was crushed#but felt weirdly at peace abt it the following night and now i'm basically fine lol#still sad but i can 100% say it's for the best#there is a chance we couldnget back together but i honestly think it would be a bad idea#just can't promise i wouldn't let myself be talked into it bc of feelings#but tbh a relationship needs a stronger foundation than just feelings we didn't communicate well and he didn't prioritize me#which is fine as friends and we have lots of fun so we should def stay friends#but romantically i dont think it could ever work despite how i feel#and im not gonna settle for someone who won't prioritize me even if it means i end up alone#he has a lot of growing up to do and i don't think he ever will#so as much as i like him i think it would be a mistake to pursue that relationship#so i'm actually verybat peace w the breakup#like obviously my feelings are hurt and it felt like deeply awful like i'm unlovable etc i was falling apart the first night#then i just went numb and thought abt it rationally and im fine now#still a little sad but very much fine#but its still nice my bro is doing something nice for me lol#my whole family is feeling bad for me bc i was such a huge hysterical mess on friday night 😂#but by saturday night i was actually okay 🤷♀️#i know it goes in phases but i think i actually am ok fr#even tho i was really falling for him i know it would have been a mistake so im okay#i should be more hurt bc of the rejection itself maybe bc im really sensitive to that but i'm not anymore and idk why#lol#this has been a shitpost#don't reblog
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when you get blocked by him even tgough you guys barely even talk anymore but the last time you talked which was about a week ago you actually had a nice and healthy conversation and you had alot of love for eachother and it seemed amazing 😂😂😍😍😍😍 no i'm definitely not fucking crying Lol
#it has been 3 years and i'm still here crying over this#well technically it has been about 1 year but also not really. i mean. we stopped talking around december ir smth last year#so it makes sense that this wound is still pretty fresh and will take some time to heal but i'm like. hahhaha#he's still my best friend and this really makes me sad#because i really love him and we even hung out together on genshin for some time#and we sent eachother really nice messages and i told him he xan always come to me no matter what and that i'm always here for him#and that if he's ever in a crisis he can even come see me he doesn't even have to ask#and now i'm blocked. hshdjckdjdhjf#i mean why am i surprised. he has every right to. and i'm his ex . and he likes someone else now#but it still really hurts because i wish i could be a better friend to him at least. but i can't talk to anyone these days#but especially with him it hurts so much because i actually know him so so well and it hurts so much more . like. we know eachother since#i was like. 16 and he was 18. it's insane!!!!!! we share a fucking birthday!!!!! i wanna die!!!!!!#i need to accept that it's over since like years but you can't just do that when you really love someone and care for them#haha . this really sucks alot#i know i need to just move along and i try i do but i will never stop having love for him even if it's just platonic it's so deep like wow#i donmt even know how to explain it and my love for him took over my entire life for years to the point where i turned into an absolute#nobody and it worried him so much too so obviously it makes sense that this takes some time . but God ahhahahshshshahah. ahhahahshsah#i feel so sad and i'm allowed to feel sad . but wjen i feel sad it feels like i'm fucking dying#wow. okay i'll stop now#he has every right to block me but he's my best friend so it hurts. that's all
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maybe sumeru being the fucking massive nation that it is is a blessing in disguise. so i always have a place to do chill exploration when i get sick of my artifact luck
#⇢₊˚⊹ 🩷∥ruby∥yo，ide yo !!#i have almost 2 million mora just off exploration#all the better to fund my journey to triple crowned lyney#also i'm sitting at tree of dreams level 30 right now#since i'm not getting any dream solvent from weeklies#i figured i should just farm dendro sigils and get 1 dream solvent plus a bow billet for a guaranteed r1#also also#since i got sayu on main while trying to pull for freminet#(yeah risky move i know. but i have no self-control okay. plus i'm still at like 20-ish pity and i'm on a 50/50)#(anyways.)#i've been using her in my exploration team obviously. and i've been leveling her so she can be an actual healer at the same time#so once again i need maguu kenki drops. which i was dreading#but i took my lyney team to fight it#and oh boy#it was almost /easy/#i think it took less than a minute to beat. which is a first for me#and this is with 5/4/4 talents and 2pc 2pc berserker/glad and a level 80 ibis piercer#(granted his supports are actually fairly well-built which helps a ton but still)#(also jsyk im just using the ibis piercer while i grind to get midlander bow billets okay. i obviously know its not a great weapon for him)#(and i don't have to say anything about my marechaussee luck i hope)#tangent，but i tested out teams in the sumeru weapon mats domain because i honestly forgot what was in there#and turns out that just benny and kazu are enough to clear it. yeah. just the two of them. lyney didn't even have a chance to deal damage#on the one hand，that's great for friendship farming. on the other hand，bruh.
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kind of wish my way of coping with morbid things wasn't to expose myself to them until I become desensitised lol
#saw an iceberg for deaths caught on camera and was like. wow there is a LOT of information to look into and take in and none of it#is going to be nice. maybe i should leave and forget I've ever seen this#but no like obviously now i have no choice but to read in depth about every single death on there#bc i know if i ignore it i'll be thinking about it for longer#this was like with threads bc when i first heard a bit about it i was like. that sounds horrible. and i have a dissertation due in a few#weeks so like. i do Not need this on my mind right now#but that didn't do anything so in the end i had to watch it to get it out of my system#and then i guess it sort of worked bc?? now me and threads are besties#fav comfort film of all time. would recommend to everyone#okay not that. but genuinely i forget how bad i felt when i first read about it and now i think about scenes from it like 😐#is that healthy. probably not. anyway#also at the start of this year i was obsessed with kaylea titford's death and then not long after that shafilea ahmed's as well#that era feels so far away even though it was only like 8 months ago#but like e.g. with the shafilea ahmed thing i'm at the stage now where if it comes into my head i can easily push it away#but i could not do that back in february i literally wouldn't be able to sleep until i'd found out every single bit of information#oh god it's nearly the 20th anniversary of that isn't it#but yeah anyway it's like once you show me something morbid. even just a glimpse of it. that's it there's no going back#i will Not Stop until i know everything there is to know about it. and then it'll be on my mind for weeks until i stop feeling anything#and then i'll forget about it#i remember as kids me and my sister would sometimes see An Image on the unfiltered 2000s internet#like that one pic of the chupacabra that's obviously not real but like as a kid it's terrifying#and my sister's response would've been to close it and never look at it or think about it again#and i remember my parents wouldn't allow me to talk about chupacabras in front of my sister#which waS SO HARD bc my response to it was to hyperfixate#and the image creeped me out so to get rid of it i would look at it like everyday until i didn't feel anything anymore#and then me and the chupacabra image were besties <3 and I'd make jokes about it#idk what the point of this post is I've basically just told the same story three times#and there will soon be a fourth. once i watch this video going through the deaths caught on camera iceberg#which i am not going to do now bc it's 00:35 and if i don't sleep now i never will#ramble
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No but I'm still looking for the Denny's that is still in the middle of nowhere
having cis guy friends is so funny like youll ask if they wanna hang out and theyll send you to the dark woods
#no joke#my brother. fresh out of the house. 19#years old. rolls up to our house right after midnight with a car full of teenagers. tells me and my little sister to get in.#obviously we're asking questions. where are we going. how long are we going to be gone. what are we doing. why are all these people in here.#the whole shebang#he answers NONE of them.#so we get in the back seat. I'm being gay with my friend at the time. and we're chilling listening to tunes on the radio.#except now they're talking about a Denny's. i look to the front seat where my brother is driving and he pulls up pictures on his phone#of the inside of somebody's. house. What?#and if that wasn't weird enough. we had already driven 20 minutes off a sideroad into the middle of nowhere. nothing but grass#and a big ol barn/farmhouse that looks like it came straight out of a Scooby Doo snapshot. it's dark as hell out. the lone building appearin#blue in the dark. with a single orange lantern lit hanging from the top. i look to my brother who has never lead me astray before.#and I feel like i am part of Scooby Doo. five teenagers in a car. in the middle of the night. wondering where the hell Denny's went.#now finally my brother has some wits to him. and we take a tight u turn and turn ourselves around. good. shows over right? WRONG.#this bitch pulls up YET ANOTHER place on his phone and starts driving 15 MINUTES UP ONTO A DIRT ROAD AND KEEPS DRIVING.#we're going to a haunted bridge boys!#in the middle of the night! at like 3am! the witching hour! great plan broski. sounds awesome. good thinking there.#we get to this haunted bridge. and this mf is barely 5ft across. but the water below is dark and murky and my lil sis INSISTS she sees a#dude down below. so I'm silently freaking out because what the hell do i say to that. she's like. 13. i tell her it'll be okay. because#that's what big/middle bros do. we drive over the bridge. nothing happens. cue relaxation. my brother is audibly disappointed#“well that was useless” bro you almost took us to Denny's in some cannibalistic farmdudes basement. i think I'll take the barely haunted#bridge. my brother. who still wants to show us an adventure. and probably save face in front of his friends. flips us around yet again and#starts heading off into a whole NEW direction. towards the World's Largest Gas Station!#it is like 4am by now. we're hungry. we're cramping. losing our marbles with exhaustion. and still processing our latest episode with the#Mystery Machine. so fine. I'm taking a nap. just don't get us killed in the long run.#we survived. btw. if that wasn't obvious. and we did actually make it to The World's Biggest Gas Station. and it was pretty fun.#as far as gas stations go at least. i got some honey sticks and a lollipop in the shape of a bear. i don't really like honey. but it wascute#there were walls FILLED with stuffed animals.a whole clothing department. a candy shop. and even a full fledged restaurant on the other side#i think there were even two levels to it? i can't remember. but anyways. we eat. we leave. we survive. end of story.
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me being tortured is like literally bad enough and affects me either way whatever is going on aside from that are you all crazy or something
#i'm not discussing that.#anyway#like i mean it it was just literally so easy not to hurt me every time#and then when it got bad you were all like well am i supposed to be making sacrifices for you now#when the point is just that it was just as easy for everyone else involved too#aaand now we're in a dumpster fire#you're not an evil horrible freak you're just doing horrible things#you know#so don't be weird#idk i can't stand these people i want to do things about it and i'll miss you not being awful to me whatever i do so just so you know#not scary things#hate saying that though#and just miss you in general yk i don't think it's possible to ever get enough of you if you don't hate me saying things like that#idk idk idk i'm being devasted and feel like crying for ten million weeks and feel ten million affectionate feels#and then i'll change moods and post something excited or funny or Katsura or private something and you'll just think it's all a lie again#idk!#stupid thoughts are only good for arguing when they actually sound#so you're just getting ice cube emojis but they're actually heart shaped and come with iced latte#if you're okay with that and it's not particularly icy ice either so it's nothing like that dw 🫶#like even if you suddenly did something cool rn or later i like already know you don't understand anything at all and that you did all that#so that's bad c':#you don't accept me about something this important you don't accept all of me i guess#because how else right#and like i don't know myself there's never a limit to how bad things can get#but damn you're cool#nothing scary mhm#in terms of spells#and on an unrelated note obviously🩷
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Just realized I don't know what the effects of my Condition™ meds interacting with alcohol are, oh well, guess we're going to find out!
#tw: alcohol#it was. a good few weeks. (well. okay it was a SOBER few weeks at least)#it's...gonna be a struggle to stay sober for the next month or so (I mean obviously I'm failing now but. yn.) I'm just. warning everyone.#(which is...I mean that's not ideal because I have never once successfully written anything while drunk and I am ostensibly#supposed to do An Update in like three weeks)#(but like. maybe nothing matters actually. lmao)#tw: nihilism#I guess??? I don't. know how to potentially trigger-tag any of this#tw: negativity#I guess this is nominally a cry for help but also like. who cares.#(<-other than me obviously. because I care too much about everything. and one day it's for real going to kill me probably)#(but we aren't thinking about the future or the kind of person I am right now!!!!)
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