#well I guess it is crazy lol
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I really hope thereās multiples of that bracelet cause I really canāt stop thinking about the fact that it was IN Drewās pants. Like DIRECTLY on his crotch š
#i donāt kink shame but my germophobe self canāt handle it lmao#to all my mutuals Iām sorry cause this sounds crazy out of context š#well I guess it is crazy lol#wwe raw#cm punk#drew mcintyre
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If my mom sees a significant amount of blood she gets lightheaded, and has fainted on some occasions. Once it happened when we were kids, I wasn't there to witness it but I heard the story from my dad. Basically my brothers, around 7 or 8 at the time, were playing outside while my mom was making their lunch, and she accidentally cut her finger. It wasn't anything serious, but it drew a fair bit of blood and she passed out. My dad saw this and rushed over, but he didn't really know what to do so he just sort of started slapping her to wake her up (not recommended, but he had no idea and panicked)
At that exact moment my brothers both came in from playing, and all they saw was our mom unconscious on the floor and our dad slapping her. So, like, without even saying a word to each other they both just INSTANTLY start whaling on him, like, full blown attack mode to defend our mom. Which obviously didn't help the situation, but she did wake up and everything was fine.
Now our dad says that he's actually really glad they attacked him over what they thought was going on, because it means he raised good boys. And I still think that's true, they're very good boys.
#i think about this story sometimes like yeah I'm proud of them for that too actually. good job baby brothers#they're not babies anymore of course they're turning 20 next year which is crazy#but they're still the type of people who'd do something if they saw something of this sort happen for sure#respectful of women and everyone else too. they're good guys#I'm glad I ended up with them living in my house against my will for like 14 years#anyway i have no idea where i was for all this but my best guess is probably a friends house given the time period#i was always at my besties house lol#i hope she's doing well too actually. haven't spoken in forever...#bestie from greek elementary school... if you're out there... let's get muffins and fanta at the bakery across the street again someday šā®ļø
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This is what being down bad does to a man I do another Hans Gruber drawing but meticulously paint the scene redraw
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Check my pinned post to see how you can help the people of Palestine
#die hard#die hard hans gruber#die hard 1988#hans gruber#alan rickman#mcart#okay normally I wouldnāt tag the actor of the character Iām drawing cause I donāt see a point to it?? but I see in the hans gruber#tag that people usually tag that as well and yknow I want more people to see this piece specifically cause Iām very proud of it#so Iāll jingle the keys in the alan rickman tag so people can see this jingle jingle jingle jangle#I guess speaking about him itās absolutely crazy to have learned this was his first feature film role#I know he had theater acting roles before so itās not like it was his first ever but theater and camera acting#have plenty of differences that need to be considered and idk as someone who has taken a few acting courses both in theater and camera#itās just really fun to see I geek out about that sort of stuff it makes me appreciate the craft#also him being a theater actor before hand makes his choices in the movie make so much sense lol heās got that stage presence as Hans#anyway uh Iām very proud of this one like Iām so tempted to actually share this with people I know irl cause Iāve come so far with my art
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need to be so clear this is not a joke this is not sarcasm blah blah blah NO. i really dont give a fuck is qinwen actually is unpleasant or unlikable in the locker room. we get constant "access" to these people, where they are expected to be more than just tennis players but must also be public personalities, role models, marketing angels..........like i really dont give a fuck if a player decides they dont want to constantly have to cater to other people......the people in the locker room are literally your competition there isnt anything in the job description of "tennis player" that says you have to be nice to them.
#like. is it fun when players do get along? absolutely!#but im not going to sit here and expect them to always be nice and friendly and welcoming. like come on#its a competitive sport! its not always nice and friendly and welcoming!#i guess i just think its maybe a bit dangerous to say 'oh well obviously these players have it wrong and qinwen is just focused on herself'#because if it turns out that she genuinely isnt friendly in the locker room then you have to reconcile that with the previous narrative#does that make sense?#idk if it does. but my point is i really dont care if she's unfriendly#crazy thing to me as well is like. if i sense that someone doesnt like me or that we arent getting along. i just tend to ignore them!#like ok you sit in that corner and i'll sit in this one and we can co-exist doing our own thing without getting into conflict#and it really is quite easy to do this! shocker! you dont have to rise to every person you dont like!#anyways. lol
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guys??
are we not FREAKING OUT rn??????
#time to learn about fe i guess#this is so freaking cooool im???#im so happy for him :((((( he deserves this so much#everything's going so well after he left mercedes šš lmao i love it#and the berlin weekend is one of the few when i have nothing planned ??? so ill be able to watch šššš#my dad will hate this pic of him tho#also crazy how hes gonna be teammates with a new swede š„ŗš„ŗš„ŗ it's a sign#(of what idk)#men ocksĆ„ lol SĆ
KLART har grabben en bild med en biltemakƶrv-hatt i sin sommar-dump frĆ„n fƶrra Ć„ret#ikoniskt#jag mĆ„ vara en dĆ„lig svenne men jag kƤnde lowkey inte igen honom š#men sĆ„ kuuuul#paul aron#f2#formula e#fe#formula two#formula 2
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your ccharacters look cool and interesting and your art style is unique and memorable
thank you, that means a lot (oĀ“āļ½o)
#ask zeno#to be honest the main reason my style looks the way it does is because i wanted to break away from traditional anime styles lol#don't get me wrong most animes look really cool or cute but its all so samesy#so i just wanted to go a little geometric and crazy lol#i guess some people don't like that though#well thats fine! the best modern art is that which is never universally loved in my eyes#(though that sounds a bit fancy to describe cartoon characters lol)
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you know, i always find it really funny when dudebros complain about syndicate and odyssey being too "jokey" or not "taking its characters seriously" or whateverā¦
like, did y'all collectively sleep through "it's-a me, mario!", "i meant besides vaginas", ezio inventing the latte, bartolomeo's... just... *gestures vaguely* entire character, etc?
like, it's fine to have preferences of course, i myself prefer a more serious and grounded tone, but these are usually the same people who tout the ezio trilogy as "peak assassin's creed", call ac1 a glorified tech demo and hate on connor for being "too serious and boring", like? make it make sense!
#asscreed#ac syndicate#ac odyssey#dont get me wrong#i do have problems with syndicate and even more so with odyssey#but it's not the tone lol#honestly i think kassandra is the protagonist that's the most similar to ezio if you really think about it#but bc she's a woman she's suddenly 'overpowered' and 'unrealistic'#yall don't remember the insane things that ezio survives in revelations do you#speaking of which#been replaying the ezio games lately#and i have something to confess...... i really don't think ac2 is good#ac brotherhood was a BIG improvement#in terms of story pacing for one (none of those insane unmotivated time jumps... well aside from the strange montage at the end)#and the characters are a lot more fleshed out (probably bc there aren't like 20 of them)#and the handling of female characters is MUCH less egregious#maybe bc there's only really claudia and caterina left LOL#lucrezia is a little annoying i guess... but she gets a pass bc she's cesare's sister and really they're the same kind of crazy lol#and hey we actually get to see how dangerous sex work can be and how it's not just a way for sexy nuns to give inner peace to men#even cristina gets fleshed out!#and i like that we get so see ezio being a little bit of a selfish prick in her missions#and making bad decisions in interpersonal relationships#at least i THINK that's what we're supposed to take away from it... but who knows maybe it's just supposed to be a tragic love story...#i hope not.... i hope the player IS supposed to think that ezio's treatment of her is bad. otherwise.... :/#sorry for rambling#guess im just kinda surprised by how much i enjoyed brotherhood#it had been a long time since i last played it#also the modern day is really good!#that you can talk so much to everyone and also being able to read their emails and the mundane banter... idk i just think its neat :)
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Huh.. kinda shocked I haven't seen a single negative reaction to the Robin casting. Am I the only person who was hoping they'd backtrack on all these years of whitewashing her and cast a brown woman? Honestly I wasn't even hoping anymore so much as expecting it, which was really stupid I guess. I'm really sad about it honestly. I thought her being a woman of color made her ennies lobby arc even more powerful and was hoping we'd get there one day with opla. She does really look like Robin though, just, you know, white.
I know Oda once said Robin would be from Russia, and I know that a lot of people consider pre-ts Robin's skin tone "an animation mistake" or "just a tan from living in the desert" but I find those explanations both laughable and irritating. Who even cares if it was the original intention or not? She was beautiful and it added a positive and meaningful dimension to her character.
(And I don't put a lot of weight on his sbs answers in general, especially that one. I mean. We all remember where he said Usopp would be from right.)
I saw someone being excited for positive Slav representation, which is nice. From that angle I'm glad. But I'm still disappointed, and really, really surprised that I haven't seen anyone else expressing theirs. I guess I was the only one actually expecting it lol
#there's a friend i want to show op to but i cant because of the whitewashing. i know she'd love robin and be really hurt by that :(#i was hoping opla would be different and i could show it to her. but. well. i guess not.#idk am i crazy or was anyone else thinking this???#my posts#robin#whitewashing#racism cw#colorism cw#<- for what they did in the anime. idk if this casting was racist or not. i mean it definitely was with the nefertaris. but this is a littl#more nuanced i think. but idk! i could very easily be convinced it was#opla#hating oda time#for part of it. lol
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#prefacing this with I Know Spanish. i cant not know spanishā my parents don't speak english#but im the only one of my siblings that didnt get to go to school over there š²š½ (just pre school)#adn the thing is like. my siblings wld talk to me in eng of course#(if they talked to me at all! what do u say to a baby when you're 9 12 and 15 yrs older.)#and my parents wld similarly jst not talk to me? i did not have conversations with them from birth to now lol.#thjere is something about how like. my sisters kids are also learning the languages at the same time#but when they mess up in spanish theyre correctedā by my sister (their mom)ā my other sisterā my parents#why not Me. why wasnt that extended to Me as a child...#the same reason I have the least amount of baby pictures while my siblings all have one full book each i bet#the same reason why my and my eldest sister are 15 yrs apart LOL#igts so crazy to me. i hate mentioning this bc people assume#im one of those ppl who isnt fluent bc their parents speak english and spanish and never taught them#my parents dont speak englishāāāā#my nephew thats older than me who is my fave family member and also only speaks spanish#is coming up on sunday idk that i can fully carry convo with him!#pure spanglish bc i didnt grow up having convos in it writing it reading it#thats why im so desperate to read books in spanish now. im so deeply ashamed#igts so crazy. i hate it.#saw a comment on smthng the other day thats like ''idk how u can have parents that only speak spanish and not know it lol''#well can you take a guess. can u take a guess as to how that would happen via interactions. lack thereof.#idk why but its even more embarrassing this way. genuinely how cld u not know...?#its like i was born to feel isolated from my family in every single way...youngest by so many years#the language thing. the Hates Eating thing. the trans thing. most severe failure to launch#im so embarrassed to be alive....!#and i dont belong anywhere. and i am Alone wherever I am.#abandoned by direct and distant relatives. ancestors.
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Started so simpleā¦
#dungeon meshi spoilers#delicious in dungeon spoilers#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#mithrun#mithrun of the house of kerensil#mithrun fanart#mithrun dunmeshi#mithrun dungeon meshi#I started with the main pose then I just wanted to draw him more#so I picked out a bunch of manga panels#shines for the glass eye because itās glass#lack of shine in the real eye to express how he is currently#there are certain panels that Iām excited to see animated#cant wait for my vibes to not match the anime but oh well I had fun#Someone made me realize mithrun is a side characterā¦#I knew but I had forgotten lol and I guess it just goes to show how good ryoko kui is at telling a story#im a bit worried that mithrun will be mischaracterized like crazy seeing peoples reactions to kabru based on anime only#Itās always interesting to see how characters with a darker past look in my veryā¦ cutesy(?) style
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iām so pressured with improving myself as an artist and itās making me lose it because iām not even doing art for my career but i love it so much. Like i kinda feel useless doing it sometimes, especially since i see other artists and i know damn well i will never achieve that level and im not saying this for people to feel pity but idk i feel like my art style doesnāt fit tr.???3! or like idk. Sometimes iāll literally cry because i feel like my art style doesnāt fit rindou and sheās literally my muse, sheās the reason why i get so excited to sit down and draw everyday yet i feel like im just stuck sitting somewhere where i canāt do anything special to show my love for her and it sounds silly.. bc thatās a fictional character but still, ive liked this character for so long and i see improvement just from drawing rindou non stop but i still feel like im just barely touching the surface of improvement. Also i feel like i care too much about what others may like vs what i want to try and draw.. i want to draw her raw and literally how i perceive her, her character, her body, every single aspect of her and why sheās so important to me. Yet i canāt do that because i get so scared of the outcome/how my artwork looks/ how others will perceive it. And im not saying im not happy with my art, i am but thereās just ways i want to do it i feel like wont stick out to others which scares me or it will seem ooc of rindou. literally because of this i always have the urge to delete my account and restart and continue doing that till i feel like i perfected her yet i dont think thatāll ever happen even with how much love i have for that character
#this sounds fucking crazy just lock me up#this is a dumb rant#but itās been on my mind for so long and i wanted to say it here since iām a bit more comfortable on tumblr (barely)#i think i compare myself way too much with other artists who i guess draw characters crazy hot or smrhššLOL which is like yeah duh everyone+#is gonna love that#but i donāt like drawing that stuff..!! at all yet i try sometimes because i know ppl like it but im like eughhh..#i dunno. Maybe itās also because i just donāt see rindou as a dude so that fucks me over at the same time#i liked rindou ever since ???? the stupid ass debut just because i thought her design was cool#and iām still not happy how i canāt draw her like how i would like to#at the same time i am but i know damn well im rlly not#which is why i always try to draw her with scenery or just doing simple things i dunno.. i think its sweet. I want to see her just live#and i feel like im very repetitive with my art which im trying to be less of but its hard obviously no matter how much i practice ill +#still want to draw how iām used to
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Coding woes (Patreon)
#Doodles#Original#Ukadevlog#Bug testing sure is something lol#These are both problems I've figured out now luckily! And I did them on my own! :D Extra pleased with myself :3#My slightly cocky attitude of ''Well that was frustrating - luckily I'll never run into another problem again'' amuses me lol#'Cause in the moment everything's flying! The code comes together lovely and it's all great! And then I come up to the next thing#Something I haven't done before - something that there's no Direct how-to of how to do a thing#Like setting player-and-character pronouns! I didn't know how to do that! But I figured it out!! :0 What a rush haha#It really did take me an evening of knocking my head against the wall in attempts - I waaaayyy overcomplicated it to start haha#I was like - trying to set up a system that would call on specific pronoun sets individually based on player input#Ridiculous - so much easier to just slap some values into an envelope and have those tied to a specific shell lol#But that took all night! I got sleepy while working on it and even my drowsy brain was like Wait...what am I supposed to check against? Haha#Such a weird experience subconsciously as well :0 'Cause I had normal dreams that night#Maybe some slight code-adjacent dreams of A Screen With Text On It but that could be anything :P#Most of it was just normal dream melodrama - but in the few times I woke up to readjust or roll over or pull my blanket#It was juuuuust enough for my ''conscious'' brain to kick in and think about what to compare against - what structure would work#And so by the time I woke up proper I had to frantically write down a bunch of code in a spare word document so I wouldn't go stir crazy lol#Breakfast must wait! Dailies must wait! I Have to write this down!!#And when I implemented it - it worked exactly as I hoped it would and is much much Muuuuuch simpler to call upon haha#Wow! That was a weird fluke that definitely won't happen again! Haha#I don't actually believe that I just have no way of guessing which aspect will trip me up - This Should Be Easy! And then it isn't lol#Definitely didn't predict the second - Especially because other than a small roadbump of not knowing how to Shell-Switch (ty again Cherry ā„)#Everything up to then was going well and everything after that was going fine! Until The One Thing happened pffbtl#I wanted to assign a value to check if a specific piece of code was being called upon - basically a fork between two outcomes#That went fine! The value Was changing! But only the first fork was being called???#No lol I just didn't put the second = ugh pft - and what's more frustrating is that I'd been using == up to that point!! I'd been warned!!!!#I - for some reason - was convinced that using && would make the value check Only need to check If x = 1... That's not how it works......#It's an If statement! If x = 1 then why do I have to check IF x == 1! Just check!!! Hwagh rules and whatnot lol#Like I said it's all fixed now but sheesh! What a silly mistake! I knew better!! And now I double know better haha
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#just a little mental health check in mostly for myself just to write it down#I'm in a weird place#in some regards I've been doing really well lately#I've been more social which always does wonders for my mental health#on the other hand a couple weeks ago I was home alone for a couple days and I was so stir crazy I almost couldn't handle it#I've actually been happy with my body for the last few months and I haven't had any anxiety about food nor have I attempted any restrictions#that's been a big bonus#I'm having a lot of trouble with decisions lately. I'm second guessing everything to a stressing degree#I feel like a bad person for reasons I can't totally pinpoint. like I think I'm manipulating everyone but to what end I can't tell#and there's a part of me that knows this is irrational but I can't shake it#it's so weird being aware that I'm doing so well in many regards#but I'm also able to feel myself slipping into types of paranoia that I know I'm suseptible to#today's been better but for the last few days my heart rate has been noticeably high (which says a lot because it is generally high)#it's caused unease#I don't know if I really have a point to typing any of this out#I'm feeling fine overall. I'm happy with my life right now. I have plenty of things to look forward to in the near and further future#I can just tell something is a little off and I think it might be beneficial to my future self to write this out for sake of timeline#I really need to start tracking my period because it totally might be that. or you know. I have OCD and anxiety is just a part of my life#who knows. it could be a mix or nothing or everything#I don't think anyone's reading this whole thing lol but if anyone does I do want to leave the reassurance that I'm fine and I'll be fine#like I said. just keeping an eye on myself.#oh I thought of another positive thing! I've been way less freaked out about chemicals lately! that's a nice note to end this on!#ashley rambles
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this is crazy yall. im about to get real whimsical about a lot stuff real quick
#me#personal#vent#I need to tell the internet my business#my family has turned on me. which is crazy bc I genuinely thought they would love me through it all.#I didnāt think my grandparents dying would tear my family apart this bad I thought my mom loved her kids but damn#guess not. that shit is tainted. hard to say she ever wanted to be a mom in the first place :(#lost both my siblings to addiction as well sigh#they did me so dirty but I LOVE THEM š AHHHH boundaries boundaries#Iām BREAKINF THE CYCLEEEEEE#honoring last wishes as the granddaughter he raised that has been here just to make memories with him.#me respecting my grandpaās last wishes means I donāt make my emotionally immature mother happy so she disowns me! lol oh well. :)#going no contact with my entire immediate family ššš#family is the ones that you choose and I believe that wholeheartedly <3#ang.txts
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sigh. i think i just do not like dogs very much lol
#just me hi#don't kill me but they are not for me#and i think our dog is alright :) but i am glad he's not mine jfshvh#i'm nervous and unsure about them every time i interact and i don't know why!#tried to tell my mother that at least and she just kinda brushes me off ? so i guess i'll just have to contend with this lol#he's still being trained but i dunno. don't think that kind of animal is for me#which sucks cuz i really did want to like them!! but they're confusing and a bit annoying and a decent sprinkling of scary#and he's a PUPPY. this is the goofiest problem ever jfsvhjfh#+ the dog at work still makes me nervous too.. this is a very Blahhh situation lol#'you've just gotta learn to stop being scared of them' but that Does mean that i have to interact with them more. and it seems#every time i do i just get more nervous ?? urgh#guess i'm not for dogs ! oh wells!#//and in other news why is it that every weekend i do not hesitate to obliterate my sleep schedule Lmfshvjfh#like without Fail it's actually crazy#//OH and it snowed a couple days ago too btw !! like almost a foot of snow i believe which is cool :D#i walked to work and it was fuuuun i enjoyed it :D#though i didn't get a chance to take pictures bc they'd plowed the road by the time i got out </3 it was so cool though !!#//oh also we were playing one of our story games last night w/ siblings :3#it's our longest-running one (it's been ongoing for maybe over a year or so! wild) and the amount of stuff that has Happened is so much Lol#i think last night they helped free half-a-town's worth of people from mine work (the mine turned out to be a crater from a Wish that hadn'#come true so they were mining the tiny shards of the wish-star bc they still have the chance to grant veeery small wishes!) and then also#got the guy that had kidnapped and enslaved them (for ransom + tax reasons) killed āby accidentā#/they got into even more arguments with the other characters they're traveling with-#/OH chess also almost strangled one of those guys to death in the mine Lmaooo#there was a whole moment when he realized i was dying jfsvjgh#//yea though i have got to go get some thangs done though..#my dad used all the hot water so i'm just. waiting... stewing.... sauteeing...... gently marinating.............#ooeeoo#yea though !! hope i can work on some ideas i have today !! let's cross hands and hold fingers. wait#anywho Yea i'm gonna get on that š„ CIAO
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look i know this month has been crazy already in what has been going on for me BUT IT GETS CRAZIER... I got to finally have my constant pain I've had for two years diagnosed... I have fibromyalgia lol i have a chronic illness??šš
tbf it doesn't change anything i was already coping with these pains because I've been sitting with em for 2 years i just have anti depressants now but you know what has changed... my character lore GOT SICK AS FUCK!!!!!!!š¦
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(lighthearted)
#not art#i feel like someones oc rn#wdym i have a higher sense of pain and i feel physical pain when i get stressed that sounds like what i did to my ocs at 10 for lore LMAO#on top of that i got told i have hyperelasticity and got told... hm yeah thats probably why you wear glasses#THEN HE PROCEEDS TO EXPLAIN EXACTLY WHAT HAS BEEN WRONG WITH MY EYES FOR YEARS WHAT THE FUCK#born to be blind ig i guess it wasnt that damn phone after all/joke#not gonna lie i kinda saw fibromyalgia coming because my family does have a history of it but still damn#im taking it pretty well rn but i was very mortified at the prospect of a chronic illness but. whatever im already coping well#AGAIN THIS DOES NOT CHANGE ANYTHING LOL i just think its crazy as hell#character lore got sick as hell this month i got into a car crash them boom you have chronic illness that is basically a disability#also you have funny nerves hehe you can stretch funny AND THAT MAKES YOU BLIND#i feel like someones oc#(not reallt a car crash almost was but. MIGHT AS WELL HAVE BEEN WITH HOW I WAS LEFT???)
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