#welcome to tangent hell

[caroodraws]

Drawing every Genshin character: #5 Jean

With this one, I wanted to push how Jean has been shoved into an administrative role and show her as the overworked waifu she is

I decided I’m generally trying to get through all the monstadt ones first

[clownsuu]

Bro, MatPat just made a video about Welcome Home.

He's Found Us

nOOOOOOOOO I don’t want another “”“mascot horror turned children’s media””” I will fuggin C R Y if I see elsagate videos of WALLYYYYYYYYYYY S C R E A M S S. S S S S

[astralnymphh]

do you think ellie likes kissing with a lot of tonguehehshahsb

ok so yes. let me go on an unasked tangent abt jackson!ellie again. there's just something abt making out in her little garage home with the lights dim thats so raw and hot. especially making out w high!ellie. random but its so my own summer by deftones coded idc the vibe and energy just matches that energy she'd give tonguefucking your mouth. like. bro starts off with that sensual roll of her lips over yours, licking up any reeds of saliva that drool from ur lips like a dog, then connects her lips again to slither that thang in. it's not overbearing, though. it's gentle when initiated, like the plumey touch of a paintbrush dabbing across a canvas. subsequent to that, the sensuality gets gradually more severe. her tongue dovetails with yours, intertwining the muscles together in different instances. so so slobbery but in a hot way. ౨ৎ oh my fucking god and if you were SMOKIN while making out she would puff a veil of smoke into your mouth, lips a fingerbreadth from touching, eyes droopy to a slit watching it condense inside your humid mouth. then she welcomes herself in with a light flick to your open mouth before diving back in once again. let's out faint breathy grunts of, "fuck.." and "uh-huhh–" when you two part, probably has forsaken a few buzzy moans down your throat. and with ellie, i believe all makeouts w her lead to those waxy peach buds of hers to bespatter a byway of pecks alllll the way down to your navel, giggling along the way. her hot breath gathers on each kiss given, ticklish as hell!! okay def went off track but I love makeout scenarios I wanna write a fic dedicated to a first kiss w jackson!ellie so bad.

POLEAAEEEEEE

[tin-wufborf]

Tin's Favorite Sterek Fics (Part 19)

Hello, and welcome to part fucking 19 of Tin's Favorite Sterek Fics. Good lord, how the hell have I gotten to 19 of these?? I cannot believe!!!

As always, thank you all so much for all of the love you continue to show this little series of mine. I never really expected any of these posts to get more than a passing notice from anyone, so to see that so many of you have liked and shared this series is honestly kind of mind boggling but also pretty cool. Because I just want everyone to read these stories, ya know? Like, I really love all of these fics that I'm recommending. I wasn't lying or exaggerating when I said that I re-read these fics all the time. I love these stories, and I want others to love them too.

I won't go on some of the crazy tangents that I do IRL, but I fucking love fan fiction. I truly believe that a good chunk of the world's more trivial issues could be solved by people simply getting into the right kind of fanfic for them. Because there's really something out there for everyone so long as you're willing to look for it, and I just think that is the coolest thing, you guys. It's just the bees knees. So to be able to share these lists of my favorite Sterek fics has been such a fun and fulfilling endeavor, and I am glad to have been able to share it with you all.

Okay, enough sap from me! I have admittedly imbibed a bit before writing this up, so I am a little bit in my head right now as well as in my feelings.

I hope you're all having as good a day as you can, if not a great one.

Smoochies and squeezies!

List and links to previous/next part(s) below the cut.

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DISCLAIMER: This is me warning you all that some of the fics I've included in this list may cover explicit, dark, and/or "taboo" subject matters. I cannot express enough how little I care what anyone thinks about any of that; all I want is for you to use caution when reading anything I've listed here and to please review and heed whatever tags the authors have provided in order to keep yourselves safe. Your experience from this point on is your own responsibility, not mine and not the authors'.

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Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20

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Family Day by klutzy_girl (T | 1/1 | 2,447)

Derek and Stiles spend the day with Stiles' (and Scott's) younger sister and come to a few realizations.

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You aren't broken by GreyHaven (G | 1/1 | 4,339)

Derek doesn’t understand sex. Well, no, that makes him sound innocent and sheltered and he isn’t either of those things.

But he doesn’t understand the appeal of sex.

The one in which Derek thinks he's broken and tries to break up with Stiles. Stiles doesn't let him and insists on an open conversation which leads to Derek realising he's not broken, he's asexual. But can Stiles accept that?

(Spoiler alert: of course he can.)

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and the wild things roared their terrible roar by hoars (E | 1/1 | 4,905)

Derek as Khal Drogo (but set in snow beyond the wall) and Stiles as Daenerys Stormborn (although he's a greenseer of the Children rather than a dragon).

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Show Me Your Igloo and I'll Show You Mine by DiscontentedWinter (E | 1/1 | 4,943)

Stiles is finally going to meet the online friend he's had for years.

Instead, the hottest guy in the world walks in.

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that boy is a monster series by hoars (3 works | NR-M | 6,840)

1. monsters steal me away (M | 1/1 | 1,720) There’s a monster in the forest that has taught Stiles to lie and to love. 2. no secret stays secret (NR | 1/1 | 2,558) John follows Stiles into the woods one night. 3. my ghosts approve (NR | 1/1 | 2,562) (optional) Derek loves all his past loves because they all taught him how to love Stiles best.

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Run Wild and Free by greenleaf (T | 1/1 | 6,991)

Derek is a police officer, just recently moved to Beacon Hills, and possibly nursing a crush on the really hot, really powerful doctor with the twin sons.

(Or a story that was almost titled, 'I'm Quite Fawn'd of You, My Deer' but I stopped myself and I don't know why.)

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Do It For The Vine by crossroadswrite (G | 1/1 | 7,108)

“Tammy,” he calls her to attention and his baby daughter turns her sweet hazel eyes to him. “Do you want to go to the skate park tomorrow?”

Autumn gasps and twists until her bony knees are digging into his thighs.

“Daddy,” she says very seriously, placing both hands on his cheeks and looking him in the eye. “Don’t play with my emotions, daddy.” . (OR: in which Derek's daughter gets a skateboard and a cute guy teaching her tricks and Derek just gets the cute guy.)

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The Jackass in the Camaro by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) (G | 1/1 | 7,237)

To the guy I splashed with water on First and Crown on Thursday, February 27th around seven at night: I am an a**hole. I’m sorry. I was being an impatient driver, and I just wanted to get home, and I cut off the bus to get there faster. I didn’t mean to soak you with rainwater, and I am truly sorry for doing so. That was a total d*ck move of me. With regrets, The Jackass in the Camaro.

Stiles had to re-read the notice four times before he honestly believed he was seeing it with his own two eyes. He’d gotten splashed by rainwater on First and Crown on Thursday around seven while waiting at a bus stop because of an impatient Camaro driver cutting off a bus.

Like, that was actually a thing that had happened. This was a real thing.

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The Plan for Healthy Eating in the Stilinski-Hale Household by inhystereks (G | 1/1 | 8,100)

Melanie burst into tears, screaming about how she didn’t want their daddy to die while Greg tried to comfort her, sending his own anxious glances Stiles’ way. Elena grilled Addie and Clary about whether they knew for sure. The twins started listing examples from their textbook. Ian turned to Derek asking if food could really hurt humans while Kevin turned to Stiles and begged him not to kill himself by eating too many curly fries.

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children of the bad revolution by hoars (NR | 1/1 | 9,506)

Far away and long ago, the only companion Derek has, the only friend and enemy he's known since he was young, is the chain.

Then Stiles happens.

Then the crows.

Then the end of the world.

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to build a home by elisela (T | 1/1 | 13,021)

“You realize you’re at least ten grand over budget on Stiles’ house, don’t you,” Allison says, and he’s not entirely sure if it’s a question or not. “You better hope this works out because we can’t afford to build an entire house for everyone you want to date.”

He doesn’t bother denying it. “I’m going to do a lot of the demo and installation myself,” he says, leaning over her to cross off some of the numbers she’d written down. “It’ll work out.”

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A Crooked Way to Fly by andavs (G | 1/1 | 14,980)

“We can’t just leave him here to die.”

“He’s an emissary, Scott.” Derek tried to make his tone empathetic, but Scott’s tendency to fight back on everything always grated on his nerves. “His pack is gone, he won’t survive more than a day or two either way.”

“Then we should stay with him.”

Derek sighed as he studied the man for a moment; he was too pale against the fur rim of his hood, almost grey from lying out in the snow, and his cloak was stained with dark dried blood around a protruding arrow shaft. It was unlikely he would even last the night. They would probably be able to carry on in the morning with little time lost, if any.

It wasn’t a horrible idea, Derek decided reluctantly. They hadn’t been able to set up a real camp for a few weeks in the open foothills, and they were all on edge from sleeping in exposed areas. A defensible place to sleep would be good for them, even if they were surrounded by death. They would be able to give the pack proper burials, at the very least.

“Fine. One night,” Derek relented, already moving away to check on Isaac. “He’s your responsibility.”

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This Kind of Luxe by sugarybowl, weathervaanes, wishingonalightningbolt (E | 1/1 | 15,113)

As they have for almost every US President since the 1910s, the Prime Minister and the royal head of their country pay a visit to the United States after inauguration. Which is why, when President Jonathan Stilinski is elected into office, Queen Talia Hale of Norland plans their trip.

-0-

Prince Derek and First Son Stiles. Gooey, ridiculous romance ensues.

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Good for you by lilysaid (E | 1/1 | 16,768)

Completely by chance, I saw a "human boyfriend for werewolf roleplay" ASMR video on YouTube and thought 1. Stiles would totally do something as reckless as making an ASMR channel for werewolves 2. He would be really good at it and 3. It would definitely blow up in his face.

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No Other Love by Idday (T | 1/1 | 18,745)

And maybe it’s irony, or the universe at work, or maybe it’s just Derek Hale’s shitty luck, but that’s when, at that exact moment (as Stiles will swear later), there’s a knock on the door. “Laura?” Derek breathes in disbelief, and Stiles feels his own face fall into confused slackness. Because the girl standing in the doorway? The last time Stiles had seen her—or, well, half of her—she’d been very naked, and very, very dead. “Hey, baby bro,” she says with a grin. ... OR: The one where Laura comes back from the dead, and it turns out to be bad for Stiles, because he’s suddenly spending a lot of quality time with one of the coolest people he’s ever met, and her brother. The guy that he might be just a little in love with. He's not okay.

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Nothing Short Of Perfect by GotTheSilver (E | 1/1 | 27,019)

In which Derek and Stiles are made aware of their potential and have to make a choice about what their relationship will be.

“Let me get this straight,” his dad says. “You’re telling me a witch told Derek and yourself that you could be destined to be together and now Derek will be going to college with you?”

Stiles shrugs, resting his hands on his legs to stop himself from fidgeting. “That’s about it, yep.”

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The Weight of an Enchanted Heart by PalenDrome (nerdherderette), 1jet2unknown (E | 1/1 | 31,590)

Marriage to the shape-shifting Alpha King of Lunansholt wasn't on Stiles' bingo card. His magic had other plans.

[excerpt]: Stiles entered Derek’s chambers, slamming the door behind him. “What did you do with my things?”

“These things?” Derek asked, waving his hand with an arched brow.

Stiles gaped when he saw his books lined neatly on Derek’s shelves. His trunk was in the corner, many of his clothes were visible in the partly open wardrobe, and the cloak he’d brought from home hung neatly on a hook.

“It would have been nice if you asked first.” A quick sweep around the room found only one bed. “Where am I supposed to sleep?” he asked, frowning.

“We are married now, Stiles,” Derek said after a moment. “We sleep together.”

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No Mercy by Gia279 (M | 24/24 | 24,743)

The story of the Boy King was this: when he was sixteen, the Stilinski kingdom was at war with the Novak kingdom. King John was on the front lines with his soldiers when his teenage heir came to check in with him. The king was struck down in a nighttime attack, in front of the boy. The boy took up the king’s dropped sword, mounted his war steed, and slaughtered the enemy forces.

When the remaining soldiers surrendered, he cut them down with his father’s sword and returned home a boy king with a bloodstained reputation.

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Salty Sweet by secondstar (E | 11/11 | 46,478)

Derek works at a porn store. One day, Stiles comes in asking all sorts of TMI questions about different toys. That's where it all starts.

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Call Me (Cliché) by orphan_account (M | 18/18 | 84,649)

When the sheriff's sister ends up in a wheelchair for the duration of summer, Stiles' dreams of three months full of pack bonding, late-night video games and bro-time with Scott come crashing down. He's temporarily relocated to Redford, a three hour drive away, and he can already tell he won't be getting many visitors.

Sure the pack will forget about him while he's gone, Stiles is determined to make the most of his summer of isolation, training his body and mind - and his magic - so he can come back with a bang, and maybe catch a certain Sourwolf's eye.

Then Derek shows up at his window one night with a flimsy excuse about needing research done. Suddenly, his summer away is looking a whole lot more interesting.

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[dear-ao3]

hey anon who asked about nico again. firstly what the Fuck secondly what an absolute legend thirdly this is slightly a tangent but the reason i got into f1 was because i read this banger 260k f1 au for a fucking anime and im now realizing how alike the main ship's dynamic in the fic was to brocedes. what the hell. anyways thank you for the masterclass in nico rosberg i love you pls dont die

you are welcome. he is insane and wonderful. i will try not to die. and that was, unbelievably, not a master class. that was skimming the surface.

[brykp]

THEORY: Lucifer Morningstar in Hazbin Hotel... Might Actually Be a Star

I was thinking of what Sera said to Charlie when she was first welcomed into Heaven... "Greetings, Daughter of the Morningstar"... or, did she enunciate morning-star? This is a real thing in the world that exists for us people on earth, in fact you can walk outside and see it very early every morning --- it is the last star shining in the sky. Tangent oncoming, but it gets back to the main point ----- Lucifer means "light-bearer", or, "light-bringer", because it calls forth the rising sun. In symbology, this has been interpreted as a man holding a torch. In Hazbin Hotel, we not only see Lucifer literally can produce fire from his hand, but this has been passed down to his daughter as well. They're light-bearers --- literally. Also, that is precisely what stars do... they produce light! Now let me advance to next bulletpoint of this post... Vivienne Medrano ALREADY used a "living" object, that can terraform into a more active form, in this web show. And that is none other than Kiki, the literal key to the hotel. She turns into a cat-semblant body.

On the same note, Vivienne Medrano is no stranger to humanoids or beings naturally being another thing. This was a primary feature of her extinct webcomic, Zoophobia, where every animal naturally has a humanesque form they can convert to whenever necessary. For example, Jackie is a great macaw (this isn't the parrot's true appearance, this is a format she takes alternatively):

Now, I know Lucifer is snake-coded, but I couldn't help but acknowledge how well-versed Vivienne Medrano seems to be in demonology and religion, to an extent, based on some videos from YouTuber cartoon analysis channels. And (I'm going to repeat, excuse my drawling), it is a common fact that the morning star.... in the sky... can be seen every morning. Hence, Sera uttered; "Greetings, daughter of the morning star". So, here's the next bulletpoint --- the acknowledgment of celestial bodies as sources of worship (astrology) is a key point in this universe. Stolas, a major character in the same world, studies and is a sort of regulator of the celestial bodies.

That's his whole schtick. Plus, he is royalty in Hell, so astrology is probably a no-shit presence of fact among the general population in Hell. On the the next bulletpoint: YouTube theorists and fans of both these web shows in general have expressed how they think Hazbin Hotel + Helluva Boss take place somewhere in 'outer space'. From the Pride Ring alone, we can see other celestial bodies IN the sky, like Heaven and a weird moon with a copy of Pride Ring's Pentagram on it. While I don't think the Hellaverse is in outer space exactly, I really think it's code for 'the heavenly realms'. Now on to the next and probably most important fact... now, what might the Pride Ring be? What does its parameter resemble? (Btw, follow this person on Tumblr and X, they are a great Lucy fan artist):

Not to mention the pentagram (which is also, coincidentally, and non-coincidentally a star-shape) floating right above it. What is a meteorite? A falling star. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What is my final say on this? I might say Lucifer is... well, a fallen star. He may or may not be a literal star in the show, but this is a huge probability in the Hellaverse considering it IS Vivienne Medrano's brainchild. This is my headcannon now... that because these are the heavenly realms, the most powerful beings/ characters can and do exist likely in alternate/ first forms in the same existential plane. Charlie is half human and half angel... or further, half star. Also, this means Lilith fucked a star. (And Eve too, oop.)

[jamethinks]

Model Un but instead it's model parliament.

Damian obviously goes for prime minister but he couldn't pick between emile and ewen for deputy so he just picked George for some reason.

Becky wanted to go for leader of the opposition but got too nervous, and somehow, Anya managed to become the leader of the opposition. Everyone was pissed because they were sure Anya was going to lose. Becky was realistically their best pick since she had the charisma and aggression to match Damian.

In a shocking turn of events, Anya actually does well. Her method? Just disagree. Eventually, the cracks in Damian's plans will show, Mr Henderson will catch it, and therefore, Anya will and she can send him packing every time.

Also, since Ostania is a capitalist hellscap, comrade Anya had no problems denouncing everything with a bit of repressed Marxism.

----------

Damian: Before we begin, let's have a prayer and welcome the Lord into this space to guide us along this discussion.

Students: sure

Anya: hold it right there buckaroo. I am not Christian I am Muslim. I have no interest in praying to your God.

Damian: fine then pray to whatever made up god you worship

Students: *nods in agreement, Anya's team is getting nervous*

Anya: Mr. Desmond. Did you know only 47% of Ostanians identify with some denominator of Christianity. Not to mention there's an approximate 0.1% who practice Islam. Are you sure this is the approach you want to take when discussing religious diversity.

Damian: jeez what's the point of focusing on 0.1% of the population? Just sit down and let us pray.

Anya: *mischievous smirk*

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Damian: i think we can all agree the tax rate for the upper class is far too extreme. We worked very hard for our money no reason we should be punished extra for doing better

Students: *rousing applause in agreement*

Anya: I object!

Damian: that's not what you're supposed to say Anya

Anya: speaker of the house, I want to relay a few important statistics to you. The proposed tax brackets will mostly impact Ostanians making over one bazillion dalc a year. And according to recent surveys only 0.1% of Ostanians make that much a year. In fact, the total percentage of people that will be caterized in the upper 3 brackets is a whooping 3%.

Damian: whats your point?

Anya: I'm just saying, the increase in government revenue can be extremely beneficial to the public and helping to improve the southern states infrastructure. Why are we passing on such a beneficial bill? Because it can slightly inconvenience 0.1% of Ostanians compared to the 36% that will be aided with the infrastructure improvements?

Henderson, in his head: honestly I'm just surprised she knows so many words and numbers. I checked out an hour ago when they started debating ice cream flavors.

Damian: t-those statistics are wrong

Anya: oh really? *snaps*

Martha, fabricating out of thin air, sets up a poster board.

Anya: right here on this board we can see all my numbers accurately crunched with sources properly cited.

Damian: there is no way you did that.

Anya: Of course not. Your brother did.

Damian: WHY WOULD YOU MAKE MY BROTHER DO THAT?

Anya: fufu, in the wise words of the longest running Prime minister of Ostania, the Right Honourable Sir Donovan Desmond, "The key to success is humility. To know what you cannot do and surround yourself with those who can."

Students: *applauding in agreement*

Damian: don't quote my dad? And what does that have to do with anything?

Anya: tch, Is this your prime minister? I say we have a vote of no confidence!

Students: *cheering in agreement*

Anya: *goes on a vaguely communist tangent. Starts just speaking Russian at some point*

Damian: what the hell just happened?

Class: Proletarier aller Länder, vereinigt Euch! Proletarier aller Länder, vereinigt Euch! Proletarier aller Länder, vereinigt Euch!

Henderson: none of you are working class? You're literally calling for your own downfall...?

[cillyscribbles]

i promised cats metaposting 2 bagpipe boogaloo and i am a bitch of my word here we go

cats 1998: the rum tum tugger + these hands are rated G for grizabella

(theory wank under cut call that catracter development)

(theory wank about munkustrap & grizabella here for those uninitiated)

RIGHT SO unfortunately this one is no longer semi-coherent overanalysis of microexpression but a full descent into conspiratorial madness, so please remain aware of the fact that this is a tangent missing textual support at the best of times. it's entirely possible and even likely that rum tum tugger is genuinely just a bitch to grizabella because that's who he is as a person and doesn't like what she smells like or something idfk. anyway.

welcome to my red string board of why rum tum tugger actually doesn't dislike her for no reason and totally has depth and yeah we're poor little meow meowing a white boy with more hubris than eyeliner, classic essay genre on tumblr, at least he's a catboy this time and the hubris-eyeliner ratio is actually a close call.

anyway, for any of my theorizing to make sense, here are the two headcanons it's all based on:

grizabella is an (ex-)wife of old deuteronomy and the mother of rum tum tugger (and munkustrap if you're so inclined)

grizabella left the jellicle cats at some point when rum tum tugger was a kitten or otherwise a very young cat

and honestly the rest just flows from the mommy issues to be honest. there's a load of alternate explanations and theories and headcanons and mine's by no means the right one necessarily, but i do have to admit the family angst it allows for is balls to the walls insane because it just. it fits what we see on screen so well!

look at this clown i love him. he ONLY does the puff-up at grizabella. and even though that supports my theorizing it's also honestly a bit of a loss i think. it's such an evocative cat-thing. i want him to do that when something jumpscares him lmao. i NEED him to do that at old deuteronomy jokingly and get cuffed on the back of the head by munkustrap for being a professional youngest child. anyway

don't get me wrong, the fact that tugger has a grudge against grizabella isn't anything special, most older cats do; hell, some of them deliberately walk past her Judgementally (bombalurina, notably) or shake their head at her in disapproval (jennyanydots), but it's so pointedly constant and so pointedly Pointed with tugger that it draws my eye. every time she appears, he has to clearly and explicitly broadcast his displeasure with the fact that she's daring to breathe at them.

like, she's not In His Way or anything here. he doesn't have to walk past her if he doesn't want to. he doesn't have to look at her; plenty of other cats pretend she doesn't exist when she looks at them. but not only does he do all those things, he explicitly looks at her and puffs his coat up again. he's walking at a fairly brisk pace toward her and actually slows down to do it. it's such a deliberately mean thing to do it's stuck between really extra and really petty. exactly the same with the jellicle choice scene.

my man's being so petty this should be constituted as bullying lmao. look at that! nobody likes you still! sucks to be you i guess! like. this man would be pouncival doing the fake pranks and scratching her if he was a kitten. he's just, constantly upping his level of mean to her. in the first scene he at least has the decency to walk out in the opposite direction of her.

a really professional youngest child. again, all that ^ is fairly grounded thought on character performance i think if you don't really connect it to anything, but i'm connecting it to abandonment issues for maximum ouch lmao.

so, bear with me for a moment: for whatever reason, grizabella leaves the jellicles, including her husband and kid(s). (if you're a fan of the theory about macavity being the third brother to munkustrap and tugger, i mean, she might've just left with him because he was her kid. i dunno.) and you're tugger. Baby tugger, even. you don't understand why she'd leave you. was it you? were you too much? were you not enough? of course not, but you're a little cat with a lot of pride and all the makings of a Petty Little Bastard in you, so you say fuck all that. i'm not too much; i'm actually more than enough. i'm the best! and i'll make damn sure you never forget it!

i feel like if you include munkustrap in that too it gets to be a really interesting dynamic. tugger's mean and angry and going out of his way to show it, and munkustrap is just kind of. "can we not do this" about it. really seems like he'd rather be somewhere else, but, i mean, welcome to The Unpleasant Shit being his job. professional eldest sibling.

she approaches him and he actively goes absolutely not oh look at that what a nice corner i'll just go stand over there. meanwhile tugger's determined to be all OH! OH LOOK WHO'S HERE!!!! WELCOME HOME CHEATER!!!!!! about it. like i already made a post about this so i won't get into it again but i really don't think munkustrap is all that mad at her, which gives tugger's attitude some nice contrast.

continuing with dynamics for a moment, i feel like tugger either has real Attuned Parental Figure Senses or is surprisingly perceptive for his character? this isn't necessarily connected with the point before, but i mean, he stops his whole entire number MID-DANCE MOVE to point out grizabella. he does do it with great flow though you must admit.

he loves attention!! that's established!! whether or not he's up for it at All Times we can have a discussion about (he really just dips out after his number to recharge for a good while lol) but he's here having the time of his life, BOOM one whiff of grizz and he's tearing down the party decorations, that's it, everyone go home.

i'd attribute it to him just Really Having That Big of a grudge if he didn't also kinda sorta activate his Deuteronomy Detect power during the lad's arrival LMAO.

look at that! he beats munkustrap to it! admittedly i can't see the rest of the stage so it might be that all the other cats already saw it and he's just pointing old deuteronomy out to munkustrap as the latter's too busy looking the other way. but it's still a funky way to get in character traits besides Mean & A Whore!

ok and another notable thing, and to me something really interesting, it that tugger never does end up touching grizabella, even though he has the choice to.

after she's first accepted back via touch from victoria, the cats sort of line up to show their affections too. it's a really nice scene in my opinion, you get the sense that all those cats really are happy to be able to take back an old friend and i'm all for it. but the cherry is that tugger is being Really Interestingly Acted here - he leads cassandra closer so she can reach out to grizabella, but tugger himself stays behind with this sort of blank expression over him. even those cats i mentioned before - jennyanydots and bombalurina - get the moment to hold grizabella's hands and smile and encourage her on. tugger doesn't do that.

grizabella doesn't touch every cat, granted, but even those she doesn't touch are reaching out to her, which is pretty much as good as. they all do enough of that sort of implied gesture throughout the musical that it shows it's affection and acceptance all the same whether or not physical contact is made, like for example old deuteronomy's greeting and the moments before the jellicle choice; the first one's posed similarly to grizabella's return, everyone's trying to touch old deuteronomy, but they're perfectly fine with sort of just reaching out and being reached out to (note mr mistoffelees and bombalurina). in the second one it's even sillier because both munkustrap and old deuteronomy could clear the like 10cm of distance between them, but the reaching and willingness is more than enough for that mutual understanding to come between them. basically intent > result (side note: this is not a good rule for life outside of the cats musical).

tugger doesn't reach out. doesn't try to get any closer than he already got and stays in the shadow behind the rest, just watching her go for a bit before he dips again.

with the way he's squashed behind asparagus jr here i can't tell if he's bowing or nodding or what, but i think it'd be really funny if he was just trying to make himself shrink a little. like hanging his head nope i'm not here don't look at me goodbye. so completely contradictory to his usual vibe it's hilarious.

it is interesting to think about though, in my opinion, that he spends pretty much the rest of the musical in the shadow and separated from the other celebrating cats. he climbs up onto the chest and stays on that platform for the rest of the show while the other cats are being directed by munkustrap to follow and then surround old deuteronomy.

it's interesting - he may be positioned above the other cats physically, but it makes him feel sort of separated if you know what i mean. there's usually this pretty clear separation between munkustrap and the other cats when they're on screen, they might crouch when he stands and reach out to him when he's talking, but this time munkustrap is just down there calling upon the vibes with the other cats, and only makes his way up to old deuteronomy's right after grizabella's gone and it's time for the closing number. rum tum tugger straight up bounces as they're going to the russel hotel LMAO.

he does hype her up as she's going up, which is also really cute. he's off to the side so the other cats aren't really looking at him, but even as old deuteronomy shows her the rest of them, grizabella's eyes linger on tugger's wee rockstar schtick and it just kind of melts me.

anyway. man may be conflicted but he's happy mum gets a retry whether anyone likes it or not. and i think that's nice. :)

[novantinuum]

Pink Onyx AU- An Analysis and Theory Post, Part 3

[Part 1] | [Part 2] | [Part 3- You are here!] | [Part 4] | [Part 5]

~

Welcome once again! This is part 3 of my analysis series on the excellent @pink-onyx-au comic made by @ceephorsshitshow. If you haven’t already, please check out the first and second parts- linked above- for more information on what these posts are all about. A lot of this analysis will build on what came previously.

So without further adieu- 

__

Question Four: What is it that makes Onyx finally front as themself? What’s unifying Steven and Jasper, here?

For the whole first six episodes of this comic, Onyx does not have any clear personality of their own- merely existing as a vessel for Steven and Jasper to continuously wrestle for control over. (Like, literally- Steven controls one half of their limbs, and Jasper the other.) 

In episode seven, however, this paradigm changes in a very dramatic way.

(Episode 7: Page 12)

Jasper is in the midst of trying to split Onyx by dropping a rock on them when the two realize that they’re crying… but that neither of them are consciously doing so.

(Episode 7: Page 13)

And then it finally happens.

(Episode 7: Page 14)

Take a good, nice look at that speech bubble. For the first time in this whole comic, it’s solid. It’s Onyx’s pink.

After multiple nights of these two taking this fusion for a spin as a mere vessel for their whims, the fusion’s unique sense of self has finally surfaced.

(Episode 7: Page 15)

And in one of the most stunning pages of the comic thus far, what they surface to is this haunting realization- the hollow understanding that they don’t truly want to be themself.

As I hinted towards in the last post, I think it’s vitally important to note the reappearance of the Gem battlefield in this page. It’s the same one we saw in the dream Onyx experienced. Not only that, but I’m fascinated by the cracking pink at the bottom of the wedge with Onyx… it appears very much like the bottom of a cracking diamond, and has that familiar oozing pink dripping from it. These two elements featured together alongside the splitting of Onyx as they realize they “don’t want to be me” paint a very clear picture of what binds everyone together in this fusion.

Everyone here- Jasper, Steven as a whole, and even his component parts- are highly dissatisfied with who they’ve become and the choices they’ve made in the past. Jasper doesn’t wish to be “herself-” at least, not as she is now. Neither does Steven. Neither did Rose, for that instance… with whatever out-of-context whispers of his mother’s memory still exists within his gemstone. Hell, Rose didn’t want to be herself so much that she outright “shattered” the old image of herself to become someone entirely new. That’s what I believe the cracking pink design in this panel represents.

Now, slight tangent… one of the biggest questions I had when I started this comic is what Jasper might stand to gain from a fusion with Steven- and I think the finer details of this particular page give us very clear hints as to what truths she might ultimately face.

(Episode 1: Page 9)

Early on into this storyline, Jasper admits that she does not understand anything Pink Diamond or Steven has done up unto this point. She does not have any context for why Rose made the decisions she has, and thus all her actions as a Diamond seem erratic and unreasonable.

(Episode 2: Page 10)

Specifically, she does not understand why Pink Diamond couldn’t manage to commit to any of the responsibilities she was given. To Jasper, every single choice Pink/Rose made was filled with immense hypocrisy. Wholly unfulfilled. 

(Episode 8: Page 9)

Thus, by the end of this, I think one of the big revelations Jasper is going to face will be what makes her and Pink Diamond irrefutably similar. Namely, the self loathing they both intensely felt.

The imagery of that shattering pink wedge at the bottom of Onyx’s frame, flanked by scenes of desolate battlefields right after the corruption blast are just oozing with the fleeting memory of Rose’s self loathing, to me. It is something she held intensely in common with all of them.

Except now… unlike her, who kept her self loathing tightly bottled up… Steven and Jasper are in a position where they just might be able to work out some of their difficult emotions together, as a pair. Because through fusion, mayhaps they’ll grow to understand that they aren’t so different than they originally thought. 

Perhaps through fusion… they’ll realize- and Onyx, too- that they aren’t alone in the way they feel at all.

__

Question Five: Is it possible that both Steven AND Jasper have a point?

The night after Onyx finally surfaces, Steven and Jasper reconvene in the woods.

In the conversation that follows, the two of them showcase very polarizing stances about the nature of fusion as a whole.

(Episode 8: Page 2)

Essentially, Steven believes that their fusion has free will and that it’s Onyx who is either splitting them apart or causing them to not be able to split whatsoever. He paints a comparison between their situation and what he’s witnessed with Sugilite- a fusion Gem who wanted to exist so badly that she essentially forced Garnet and Amethyst to remain fused even when they were entirely worn out from it.

He does briefly touch on the idea of both him and Jasper subconsciously causing it, but when he later clarifies his ideas, his focus swerves more towards Onyx’s role in the matter as a wholly unique third party.

(Episode 8: Page 3)

The thought he heard, I imagine, is Onyx’s “I don’t want to be me?” realization.

(A thought that- while they all share in the sentiment- I doubt either Steven or Jasper have acknowledged on their own, yet.)

(Episode 8: Page 3)

Meanwhile, Jasper’s opinion is that this is complete bunk, and that a fusion is nothing more than the combined whims of the individuals who form it. She sees fusion as something to conquer, an ability to wield. A body to drive.

(Episode 8: Page 5)

Jasper’s stance may seem a bit harsh and narrow-minded- given what we the audience know about fusion’s full nature beyond Homeworld’s rhetoric- but I do think her insistence that fusion is just “the combined power and wills of the Gem making them” brings up an interesting point about how fusion actually works, one that Steven is trying to brush over a little here. 

Not only- once stability is reached- is Onyx their own person with their own wants and feelings, but the very person they ARE is strongly influenced by the people who combine to form them and who THEY are. There’s a damn lot about a fusion’s actions and personality that can be traced back to their components, basically. Jasper is half right. 

Like, look at Garnet- before her existence as a fusion was revealed to Steven, she acted rather aloof and distant with him… a far cry from the spirited, openly affectionate, confident person she becomes by the end of the show. 

In my mind a large part of this can be traced back to what we learn in the s4 episode “Three Gems and a Baby,” where we see Garnet momentarily split in front of baby Steven. Steven is distraught about this, bursting into tears- and while one can’t blame the poor little guy (object permanence issues ahah), I think it brings up old traumas for Ruby and Sapphire. Traumas of rejection… of Homeworld Gems not understanding the point of fusion for them at all, of Gems being scared of them. Thus, Garnet becoming a bit more guarded around Steven before this very important facet of her identity is revealed would make sense to me- it all echoes back to what insecurities and fears Ruby and Sapphire are bringing into this fusion.

So, moving back to this episode of the comic, Steven wants to believe that it’s specifically Onyx who is causing their fusion issues because it relieves him of his duty to look into himself and analyze his own problems. (He doesn’t want to think about himself, because he often doesn’t want to BE himself.)

And Jasper isn’t willing to see Onyx as their own person because she’s too afraid of getting attached to yet another fusion who in her mind- once Steven gets the answers he came to her for- won’t ever exist again.

“Nobody I fuse with ever wants to stay.”

(Episode 8: Page 8)

Jasper is terrified of being abandoned by people, so much that she’s isolated herself in these woods so she never has to become close to anyone and risk that possibility again. Steven shares in this fear, although his way of coping with it is a bit different- by trying to make himself indispensable to others so they’ll have a reason to want him as a continual part of their lives. 

And thus these buried emotions have boiled in the pot while fused as Onyx to create a fusion who violently ping-pongs between falling apart and being outright stuck together because paradoxically, the two of them are afraid of being alone while ALSO afraid of the vulnerability that comes from not being alone. Staying as Onyx for too long is scary, because deep down they know damn well they have a lot in common to talk about. And yet, their loneliness and deep need for understanding and connection (Jasper is a quartz, and quartzes are ever so social) compels them to try.

Only time will tell if they manage to push past these deep-seated fears and find a true sense of camaraderie and companionship with each other.

_

Look out for the next post in this series at 7am PST tomorrow. Farewell!

[loquatenjoyer69]

Matoba and Burden and Desire

I originally watched/read Natsuyuu back in fall of 2022, and then a few months ago, literally out of nowhere, my brain was like “Hey, remember that loquat story Matoba told in that one arc? It felt like there was something there, let’s go reread that,” which I did, and have been in hexorcists hell about ever since.

(pictured: a sane person’s reaction to reading natsuyuu)

And really, that’s it. The loquat story feels like there’s something there, but I couldn’t quite figure out what was going on. But after my close rereading of that arc, I think I’ve at least come to one coherent conclusion about it, even if it’s perhaps the most basic one: I think the loquats are an allegory for the greater themes of burden/desire in this arc. The following is my attempt to lay out my thoughts, but unfortunately I have never been known for my conciseness or my ability to organize my thoughts, so be forewarned. This will be rambly and include a few tangents/too much detail.

The story of the Miharu family is a story of a family that was once respected, had a relationship/contract with powerful ayakashi, and eventually fell into ruin, leaving behind their contracts. The ayakashi, the mihashira, still come to uphold their part of the agreement without fail, but the family is gone. So who comes in their place to maintain the contract? The Matobas, and in the present day, the current head of the Matoba clan is Matoba Seiji. In order to maintain this deal with a group of powerful youkai, which neither he nor his family actually made, Matoba has to come and perform the welcoming ritual to avoid incurring the wrath of the mihashira.

Matoba is a character marked by burden, I think. Though he is the head of the most powerful exorcist clan, and therefore one might expect that he can pretty much do what he wants, I don’t actually think he has much personal freedom. The only son of the main family, he was probably marked as the heir from birth (if not, he would have had to be once his sister left but I still need to read 120+ so I don’t know exactly what the deal with her is). The clan’s interests are his interests. He can’t do anything that might hurt the reputation of or endanger the clan, and he is obligated to do things that benefit the clan. Matoba is Matoba. 

In chapter 25, in his debut arc, he tells Natsume 「使えるものは使わないと。人を守る為に、強い妖が欲しいと思っているだけですよ。その為には恨まれたり代償を払うことを気にしていたら、この家業はやっていけませんしね」

"One should make use of useful things. I just want ayakashi in order to protect people. If I was worried about being hated or suffering consequences, I could not carry on the family business,"

(this is actually one of those annoying instances of a Japanese sentence that’s more dense than would sound good in English. Matoba seems to be explaining his personal worldview/thoughts here with 思っている even though in English you’d never say “I just feel like/think I want strong ayakashi…” He’s explaining that this is the way he thinks, I think lol).

Matoba doesn’t get the privilege of having a good reputation among humans or ayakashi, since we learn in special chapter 17 that no good ayakashi will make deals with the Matobas because of their famous broken promise. Matoba Seiji not only inherits the burden of monthly eye-stealing visits, he also can’t make contracts with ayakashi and  takes on all the distrust that’s built up over generations from both humans and ayakashi. 

And now Matoba is taking on the debts of a dead branch family to avoid possibly endangering his own.

In the locked room, when Matoba is goading Natori into breaking them out, he says 「どうです？あなたには解くことができますか名取。無理ならばすべて私が片付けてさしあげましょうか？」

"Well, can you do it, Natori? If you can’t, shall I take care of everything for you?"

I’m unsure how much of this is Matoba teasing Natori (as he seems to like doing in the Homura arc) about how he’s not as powerful/skilled as Matoba, and how much is him simply making an offer because he’s Matoba and he’s The One Who Takes Care Of Everything. I think either way, there is at least a good amount of the latter going on here. 

In special chapter 17, Matoba shows up at Natori’s house and helps him exorcise the ayakashi that’s been haunting him. After Natori wakes up, he tries to offer to help Matoba in some way. I think he felt uncomfortable being the only one being helped, and wanted to find something he could offer Matoba, even though Matoba seems to have everything he needs. Natori offers to listen to his problems, and Matoba smiles (of course) and says he’s fine. Even teenage Matoba is like “You’re not the one who helps me, I’m the one who helps you.” Though this chapter is from Natori’s perspective, so Natori believes Matoba was just using him to get an ayakashi, I’m not sure that’s true. I don’t know for sure what Matoba’s motives were, but I don’t believe teenage Natori is an unbiased observer of him lol. 

Now that we’ve laid all that out, let’s talk briefly about the Miharus, a once respected family who made a deal with ayakashi they didn’t understand, and fell into ruin. According to the ayakashi who wants to sabotage the ritual, there was a member of the Miharu family called Masakiyo. Masakiyo was stern for the most part, but there was someone he loved. However, he couldn’t be with that person because he couldn’t make them shoulder the burdens of his family business, but neither could he simply abandon his family. He had to stay with his family and let this person go. This was the only time this ayakashi saw Masakiyo cry. Then we get this panel:

(pictured: bench of I Hate My Life, credit to @joelletwo for that lol)

In his despair, Masakiyo wished there was no Miharu family. The ayakashi, feeling indebted to Masakiyo for letting it go during an exorcism, overhears him and decides that destroying the Miharu family will bring Masakiyo happiness. This is an unintended contract between the two of them. Masakiyo unwittingly causes an ayakashi to spend years (decades?) trying in vain to destroy his family in order to repay a perceived debt. This isn’t Masakiyo’s fault, really, it was just an unfortunate misunderstanding. The ayakashi didn’t understand that Masakiyo wanted it to be free and live the life he couldn’t. “You were almost exorcised because of human circumstances. You were saved on the whim of a human. What debt? You are free. Go wherever you want. Live however you want.”

After all the mihashira business is wrapped up, Matoba thanks Natori for his help, Natori says he probably couldn’t have gotten out of the room without Matoba, and Matoba laughs and says “Then we’re even this time.” Neither one is indebted to the other this time…they’re even. Then Natori says The Line:

「何かを継ぎ背負っていく…その真の重みは私などにははかり知れません。でも今はこう思うようにもなりました。重いものもひとりでなければと…」

"I don’t know the true weight of shouldering a burden you’ve inherited, but now I’ve come to think that even heavy things can be carried if you’re not alone,"

(this is another one of the aforementioned Dense Japanese Sentences, and I really prefer the fan TL version of this line but I’m translating it this way to try to convey all the stuff he’s saying). Natori once again reaches out to Matoba, trying to offer him maybe the only thing he can: support, listening to his problems, shouldering his burdens. This time, though, we don’t get a Matoba Smile and “I’m fine,” we get this:

(pictured: Matoba on the bench of I Hate My Life, or “Matoba Cow Beach” as I refer to this image in my head)

What is Matoba thinking here? I really don’t know. If I draw the obvious parallel with Masakiyo, I guess he’s contemplating his two…selves, as it were. His duty to his family vs his personal desire for companionship. And I do think Matoba wants companionship. I read his behavior in special chapter 15 as genuinely wanting to be friends with Natori. I think he was excited that there was someone else his age who was relatively powerful, and who wasn’t concerned with all the Matoba stuff. Hence his insistence on Natori calling him Seiji. He wanted to be close to Natori.

And finally, we can come back to the loquats. Natsume hears Matoba mocking the mihashira for continuing to protect the Miharu house even after the family has all died out, and thinks perhaps Matoba is envious of ayakashi who go to such great lengths to keep promises.

"Matoba-san, who keeps breaking promises, and doesn’t have anyone to make new ones with."

Matoba wonders how the welcoming ritual will go next time, but decides he won’t worry since he probably won’t even be the head of the clan at that time. Natsume offers him a loquat, saying cheer up, and Matoba does his Thing, saying  “How odd, do I look upset?” and then tells The Story.

When Matoba was a teenager, he really wanted to try the loquats from Yorishima’s yard. One day, he was there with Natori, and Yorishima gave them both one. The loquat was delicious and sweet; Matoba felt that his “desire had been fulfilled,” but Natori got a sour one, and Matoba felt like Yorishima-san had wanted to give a loquat to Natori, and only given one to Matoba because he was there, so he thought “Ah there’s no winning even in such a small thing as this.” Matoba gets what he wants, but it wasn’t meant for him, and the one it was meant for is worse off, so did he really win? He was the only one who got to enjoy the delicious loquat. These are the unintended consequences, the burdens if you will, of desire. 

Natsume speculates that the agreement with the mihashira began when someone had the wish to protect the Miharu family, and there was an ayakashi who happened to be there, much like the situation with Masakiyo and the sabotaging ayakashi. A simple and innocent wish accidentally creates a generations-long burden that Matoba eventually has to shoulder. 

I think Matoba must be painfully aware of his power and influence, and that even his smallest actions could cause unintended consequences. I wonder if he sees the Miharu family as a warning of what could happen to his own family if he slips up… And it wasn’t just a mistake on the part of the Miharus, but a failure of the Matoba clan head of that time, whose responsibility it was to look out for the branch families. Matoba Seiji is not just responsible for the success of his own family, but protecting the branch families, and of course non-exorcists as well. I imagine he feels like he doesn’t have the time or room to act on any of his own personal desires, and his little loquat anecdote is evidence of that, to me. It’s bittersweet (lol). And Natori’s takeaway, meanwhile, is more casual as you might expect. When Natsume asks him if he likes loquats, he says he’s not sure because his first one wasn’t very good. To Natori, a loquat is something he might try again and like. To Matoba, it’s a reminder of what he can and can’t have.

[dreamwreaver]

When Vox and Charlie finally interact on screen, I hope to God we won't have another "deemed as a father figure by annoying fans" situation on our hands because I will lose it. They did it with Alastor and Charlie, they did it with Vox and Velvette, they did it with Carmilla and Zestial and I'm sick of it. I'm tired of the majority of the fandom being prone to infantilize the women that have a platonic relationship with an older man. Especially when said older man has beef or relations with another older man. I swear, most of the fandom seems to be allergic to the mere possibility of their favorite male character being with a female character that it makes me suspect they're slightly misogynistic sometimes given the way they would callously treat the female characters at times.

Besides, I personally don't think Vox and Charlie would have a father-daughter relationship because, well, Vox is the villain and really doesn't give off paternal vibes (neither does Alastor but that didn't really stop the RA shippers). Unfortunately, half of the Hellaverse fandom consists of immature people with no media literacy skills whatsoever so I'm not gonna be surprised if they begin to label the pathetic man-child of a television as Dad#3 to an adult woman.

All joking aside nonny, welcome back.

Yeah, this has been a very annoying trend across media, not unique to the hellaverse but incredibly rampant all the same. First I want to say that the Vees not being an actual polyamorous Vee is a missed opportunity.

Second, I really cannot see Vox being a father figure as anything more than a bit. Like he can't get to Charlie through being a romantic interest (canonically because of vaggie and possibly al?) so he'd try to pose himself as a shrewd businessman that makes exceptions for family or something. But much like Al's comments to Lucifer in Hell's greatest dad it would all be an act. I do "ship" Vox/Luci solely because the crackship name of AppleTv is too hilarious not too so I am for it. But I was the same of a certain other ship before a very loud segment of it ruined it by treating it like endgame canon instead of the absolute crackship it is.

As for one of your other remarks, it's a problem of fandom in general these days. You saw it when certain lumity shippers got pissy that people shipped Lunter, we saw the absolute war that was the reboot of a certain mech property that I will not name to save my sanity. Like, it's not the old days where canon queer rep was slim to none and easier to get away with portraying deeply emotionally impactful relationships with men and giving a token female love interest to say they were "straight" but then again homoeroticism in media is both a super long lived trope dating back to the gayest locales in history and a rant for another day. Canon queer ships are everywhere, not overwhelming or even equal to the ostensibly "straight" canon couples in all of literature but definitely not something you'd get burned at the stake for if you said it.

That being said, in that vacuum has arisen a sort of derision towards straight passing ships. The bisexual woman is with an asexual man? Straight. The lesbian gay man who dresses in drag on the regular who nonetheless share a deep emotional chemistry (and history of brainwashing/abuse/abandonment)? Straight. If they are not actively gay they are straight and it mirrors a lot of the real life issues people in these groups face. Because let's be honest; humans are complicated. Feelings are messy. How many queer people do we see before realizing their sexuality got married and had a straight partner and even kids? Did that mean they loved their spouse any less? Ngl one of the depictions of this I've seen is why women kill's Simone and Karl

Tell me they do not love each other. You can love someone and not be attracted to them.

Welp, that was a tangent lmao. Back to your question. My favorite interpretation of Vox in relation to Charlie and Alastor is basically Radiobelle Silence. Where vox attempts to get Charlie to love him to get back at Alastor only to fall for her himself and oh no now he likes them both and is making it everyone's problem. Like Chaz from helluva boss except with money and power to back it up. The ultimate third wheel.

I think one of my discord friends did a doodle that perfectly encapsulates my view on that dynamic and if it's publicly posted I'll let you know nonny. Thanks for your ask!

[grays-matter]

rant in the tags but people do this shit at sports events and then dont even WATCH THE event bc of their addiction

It really is troubling how deeply sports media has pivoted towards gambling since it was legalized nationwide in the US.

Not even just the sponsorships, though everything in sports media is now sponsored by some gambling company or another and the ads are constant, but how much conversation about sports is now about gambling. Shows have taken space that previously would've been used for analysis or interviews etc and given it over to gambling talk. Here are the odds for every game in the country no matter how irrelevant, here is everything you can bet on, here's where you can start on the DraftKings (TM) app, here's the warning about addiction sped through at the end before three more ads for DraftKings (TM)

It's reached the point where it's normal for someone to admit to betting on irrelevant players in irrelevant games in leagues they don't even watch, and to say that you need to bet money to really be involved in sports, and. No you don't, and no, that's not normal. It's criminal that the companies pushing these addiction loops are given free reign to normalize them, to make betting easier than ever, and will be until whatever Pete Rose-ian scandal inevitably occurs bc of the massive influx of gambling money and advertising into sports, but in the mean time, we have league commissioners suggesting they create an entire broadcast exclusively discussing games in relation to gambling

[tillystealeaves]

Steddie Fic- Part 1: Breakup

I don't know what to title this thing, but it's a 3 part story and this is Part 1. Hope you enjoy!!!!

Or read it on AO3.

Steve stood in the living room, not knowing what to do with himself. Eddie would be here soon. Eddie was working that day, at the music store in the town next to Hawkins (where people didn’t care so much about the Hawkins rumor mill), and his shift ended at 4, which meant Eddie would be getting to Steve’s house by around 4:30 because Steve had invited him over, and it was 4:15 now, so Eddie should be here any minute, and if it was a normal night Steve would probably be pulling something out of the oven but tonight-

Steve stopped himself. He took a breath. He couldn’t allow his mind to go on tangents like that or he was going to word-vomit all over Eddie.

Eddie, who would be arriving any minute.

Steve had thought for a long time about whether he wanted to have this conversation in his house. If he wanted the memories of this to be burned into his mind every time that he walked through his living room. But his house was already full of so many ghosts. Barb sat perpetually at the edge of his pool, his mother cried over a glass of wine at the kitchen counter, and his father was… everywhere. Always telling Steve how everything he did was somehow a stain on the Harrington name.

Besides, the alternative was to do this at Eddie’s house and that… he couldn’t do that. Eddie had been living for less than a year in the new double-wide trailer supplied by the government. His old home, even if it hadn’t been ripped to shreds, would have been forever filled with the ghost of Chrissy. Steve couldn’t make bad memories for Eddie in his new one. (Though he was fairly sure that Eddie wouldn’t be particularly haunted by this conversation anyway.)

And then there was the fact that over the past eight months since the Spring Break from Hell, Eddie’s new trailer had come to mean something to Steve. It felt like… home. Like the way a home should feel, in the way his own never had. It felt lived in, even though it was new. With Wayne’s mug collection and replacement posters tacked up on Eddie’s wall. With music playing or the TV on mute in the living room, coffee brewing in the kitchen because between Eddie’s and Wayne’s work schedule, it was always breakfast time for someone. Steve had felt welcomed there. Safe. Like he belonged. He refused to poison those memories for himself with what was about to happen.

“Stevie?”

Eddie’s voice pulled Steve from his thoughts. He wondered if Eddie had just let himself in or if he’d been knocking for minutes with no answer. Well, Steve figured he could always blame his damaged hearing if Eddie complained about waiting too long.

“Hey Eds.”

Eddie was smiling, warm and easy. Steve tried to freeze the moment in his mind. Sometimes memories were getting lost inside his head- the doctors said it would continue to happen, a side effect of too many head injuries. But Steve swore to himself that he would never let his brain lose this image of Eddie so happy just from arriving at Steve’s house.

Almost as soon as Steve had made a note to remember Eddie’s smile, it vanished. Suddenly, Eddie looked concerned. He approached Steve and put his hands on his shoulders. His long fingered hands, warm, with calluses that that had ghosted over Steve’s arms, his back, his hair- Steve bit the inside of his cheek and pulled himself back into the moment. “What’s up, Steve? You look… less like a ray of sunshine than usual. Something wrong? Is it a migraine?”

Steve stepped back, outside of Eddie’s grip. “No, my head’s fine. I just… can we talk for a minute?”

Eddie sank down on the couch and immediately began fiddling with his rings, his head angled so that his hair was falling in front of his face. “Yeah, of course we can. Um… did I do something wrong?”

His voice sounded so small. Gods, Steve didn’t know if he would be able to do this if Eddie was going to be sad. The whole point was to make Eddie happy- not tonight, of course. Steve knew tonight would sting. But it wouldn’t hurt Eddie. And in the long run, Eddie would be happy. He would be-

“Stevie? You’re sort of scaring me, baby. Did something bad happen? Like, Upside Down bad?”

“No,” Steve answered quickly. He rushed to the couch and sat down, putting his hand reassuringly on Eddie’s knee. (He ignored the voice in his head whispering that this might be the last moment that they touched.) “No, it’s nothing like that. I just-” He had to just do it. He had to put words to what he wanted least in the world, but what he knew was the right thing. “I think we need to stop this thing between us.”

Steve dared to glance up at Eddie, but found that he couldn’t see anything of his expression. His right hand pulled his hair across his face and into his mouth while his left hand fiddled frantically with the rips on his jeans. “Okay.” Eddie’s voice was thick. Was he going to cry? Steve didn’t think this would make him cry. “If that’s what you want, of course, ba- Steve. But is there anything I can do to fix it? I mean, could you maybe tell me what’s not working for you and I can do it better?”

“You didn’t do anything, Eds,” Steve assured him. Eddie had to know that this was absolutely not his fault. It was Steve’s fault, 100%. “It’s just… when two people want different things out of a relationship, someone’s going to end up unhappy. And I don’t want to ever make you unhappy.”

“I’m not unhappy!” Eddie protested. He looked up and even through his hair, Steve could see his eyes were red and wet. Steve looked down at the floor. “Are you unhappy? What am I doing to make you unhappy?”

Steve swallowed past the burning lump in his throat. He really hadn’t expected Eddie to put up a fight. He had expected him to agree, maybe give him a parting hug or maybe say that he was relieved that Steve hadn’t made Eddie have to do this himself. He had hoped that Eddie would say they could still be friends, or at minimum be cool with each other for the sake of the kids. But if this is what Eddie needed from him, he could spell it out.

“You’re not doing anything to make me unhappy. Look, I talked to Robin about this a lot, trying to figure out the best way to handle it. She said I couldn’t keep avoiding it by just wishing that we could stay this way forever. Sometimes, one person in a relationship just expects more out of it than what it is. And if they don’t talk about it, that person is going to get their heart broken. And the other person is going to get sick of them. I don’t want that for us. I don’t want resentment or hurt feelings or- I just think we should stop this where it is. It’s been so great, Eddie.” Steve heard his voice break at that; he hoped Eddie hadn’t noticed. “It’s been really good, but I think we should stop it here before it turns into something bad.”

With his eyes still pointed resolutely at the carpet, Steve could only feel Eddie nod. He heard Eddie take a deep, shaky breath and then felt the couch lift as Eddie stood. “Okay, yeah. Message received. I’ll get out of your hair. Um… bye, Steve.”

Steve didn’t answer. Couldn’t answer. Even with his terrible hearing, every step Eddie took towards the door reverberated through his head and his chest and his heart. He stayed motionless, barely breathing, as the front door squeaked open and clicked shut. It was only when the sound of Eddie’s rickety van faded that he fell forward onto the couch- still warm from Eddie’s body- and allowed himself to sob.

Read the next part: Interlude 1

[kayyyy]

Going on a tangent about Hiropuri ep 49 (Cure Sky and the Strongest Power) and why Sora and Mashiros relationship is so powerful

Whew okay no matter what I do even months later I can’t stop thinking about this scene. I don’t know if I was overthinking this, but Mashiro fainting first might not have just been cause she’s physically weaker than Sora, but also the fact that she’s the precure of light.

Skearhead talks about how Undergu energy is like ‘poison’ to them because they’re people of light. Since Mashiro is literally the precure of light, it affects her the most. Idk I just thought this was neat. My friend and I actually discussed this and they talked about how the Sky can exist in darkness, but a Prism cannot which was a very interesting way of seeing it.

And then there’s Sora’s absolute desperation when Skearhead was pretty much about to kill Mashiro. Her voice was getting hoarse already with the Undergu energy poisoning her, but it just… broke after that point. (Her actress is phenomenal!!) She was screaming and honestly practically sounded on the verge of TEARS as she was desperately trying to get up but falling due to the darkness. Yet she kept trying to get up and kept begging Skearhead to stop. The one thing Sora was so afraid of back in episode 5 (I think it was), was Mashiro getting hurt or her possibly even losing Mashiro due to her new status as a pretty cure. She learned to accept Mashiro as a teammate and work together with her to protect the ones they love. However those feelings had to have resurfaced in this moment. The thing she feared the most was happening and she was powerless to stop it. Powerless to save the one she loves most.

That’s why absorbing the Undergu energy was so appealing, as terrifying as it clearly was for her. She was clearly reluctant- hell even the Empress told her not to do it- but before being taken over, she shakily says Mashiro’s name one last time. Saving Mashiro was the only thing that mattered to her at that moment.

Even after absorbing the energy, she was very impressively fighting to not let it take full control of her. However its influence was still taking a toll on her, as she (rightfully) charged at Skearhead, fully enraged. However, she immediately puts that rage on hold as Skearhead drops Mashiro, so instead she turns back and flies down TOWARDS THE POISON to save Mashi first. If that’s not love then love isn’t real.

Anyway, after that Sky does eventually succumb to the darkness and Skearhead takes over her body. However Prism forces herself up through her own pain. Skearhead immediately charges for her and yet… Prism stands there. She stands there because she knows Sky won’t hurt her no matter what. She stands there because she believes Sora has the strength and will to fight the darkness off. She is so confident, she doesn’t move an inch.

And it works! She gets through to Sora in this way, as Sky desperately holds back her attack as to not hurt her. She calms down and Prism holds out her hands. Her power of light appears, her ‘Prism Shine’, destroying the darkness within Sky and bringing her back.

To Sora, Mashiro is her light. The light that shines in the darkness no matter how rough things get. She’s always there to support her and lift her up.

And after this, Prism warmly welcomes Sky back and Sky warmly tells Prism she’s back it’s just so sweet. Their love is pure and strong. Unrivaled. Stronger than any darkness that may surround them. Their love (and Prisms light) even healed the Empress’ wound. The bond between Sky and Prism- Sora and Mashiro- was the strongest power of all.

Their love is the strongest power, after all.

[g0nta-g0kuhara]

Hello! :] I saw your post recently regarding the pervasive feeling of shame in newer fans re: Danganronpa, and it really resonated. I wanted to offer my two cents as a fandom old/armchair fandom archeologist that's hopefully a little heartening:

I remember back in 2012/2013 when Danganronpa was beloved, during the height of the SomethingAwful TL days. It was a genuinely fun time to be into things, especially as people were getting excited for an EN release, something that I do think the fandom deserves a little credit in making happen. I was there for the UDG release, DR3 anime, and the lead-up to v3's release, and unfortunately, I think the fact that all three of those entries were in some ways polarizing effectively memory-holed a lot of people into believing Danganronpa was never "good" to begin with, which makes it a lot easier to pick out its flaws and give it a bit of a weird reputation now.

(As a tangent, but some more context that might help: Danganronpa also got really big on my neck of the woods in Tumblr during one of the big Homestuck hiatuses. Back in the day there was a lot of fandom crossover, which I don't really think is the case nowadays, but I think for people that were either in both fandoms and had negative experiences, or people outside who disliked either/or, they've been inextricably linked together as part of a particular "time" in Tumblr/internet history that isn't remembered fondly. So, I have a theory that a lot of secondhand Danganronpa disdain comes from misplaced disdain for the other Big Thing at the time.

This also overlapped with the tail end of the big SuperWhoLock era to my memory, which is usually much more focused on which discussing Tumblr history. Which is a shame, because I feel like this particular transitional era of Tumblr "fandom" history has been underdiscussed because of it!

None of this is excusing some of the things I've seen said about DR fans and the ways people have been iced out for liking it, but I find trying to understand the factors at play always helps my mind figure out how to process these things.)

However: time moves on. This isn't permanent. Having gone back and re-experienced the whole series some 5+ years removed, I was able to find joy in parts of the series that, while I was in the thick of a shift in fandom attitude, didn't appreciate as much as I think I should have. I didn't absolutely love everything, but I had so much fun, it almost felt like I was experiencing things again for the first time.

I want to believe the same thing will happen as we get some time removed, as people get nostalgic for things and get older and understand that you can love something flawed, criticize it, and not feel shame for it. I always welcome fresh faces discovering something for the first time, but I think that some day, a lot of older fans can come back and embrace it as well. Sometimes you need time and life and a few extra years on you. I'm living proof of it! :P

Of course, this is just one person's perspective from one slice of the fandom. But I remain hopeful. There really is nothing else quite like Danganronpa for me, warts and all. You don't have to post this publicly or anything if you don't want to, but I wanted to offer a little hope to go with your thoughts. :') and I hope you have a great day!

Oh man, I really really appreciate this message. I am really interested in the perspective of fans who have been here for so long, and I always feel a little out of my depth talking about old (read: 2018 and before) DR fandom because despite seeing a Lot of it in my blog-diving, I still wasn't there. It's genuinely wonderful to hear that it was beloved like that, even if only fully for the first two installments.

I HAVE noticed a weird amount of homestuck/dr crossover in my searches, so that totally makes sense! Hell, my first exposure to DR on tumblr was a homestuck blog I followed back in 2017/2018ish (for the artstyle, I haven't read homestuck) that also posted a lot about Kazuichi. That's super cool!

While I feel like today, there is at least a little bit of fondness (even if it is a little ironic) for superwholock days, I see very little talk of homestuck. And when I do, it is usually with the same flavour of "Wow that fandom was so crazy" as old-DR.

I think there is usually this reactionary retrospective on site-wide popular fandoms to some degree after they start to wane in size. I saw it when I was in the TMA fandom. That thing was a monster, and over all I felt more stressed there than I ever feel now with DR. And after it ended, and really even During those last few episodes, you could feel a level of distaste for the piece of media growing. Although it never really reached critical mass like DR.

Maybe its even more apparent with something like Steven Universe- when it was actively coming out there was so much disdain for it (from some people) and for the fandom. I was there, on the sidelines, but I saw it all and it wasn't fun. But after its finale and a couple years of silence, people now seem to have come around and realized, whoa, so much about all that discourse was way overblown. I feel like a couple years ago there could still have been this sense of "cringe" posting about steven universe, while today its a lot more neutral.

Of course, it's kind of weird to compare DR and SU, and the nature of outside of fandom perspectives on them is not the same. The level of disdain for people posting SU never reached the point of DR either. But if it's anything to go by, I feel like there is hope eventually for people to stop having an immediate knee-jerk reaction to it. To look back and realize, "hey, that was actually pretty good," or "I didn't really appreciate this the first time." Or even just "It's fine actually to have nuanced take on this piece of media I don't like that concludes with them still liking it." I feel like we already got a mini-version of that in 2020, but since that's when I joined I can't speak too much on it.

Small tangent aside, I really appreciate this. I also hope people can come back around to it, or at least appreciate that it made them or other people happy at the time c:

[the-s1lly-corner]

Uhh i request you

<-forgot everything about creepypasta after stopping reading fanfics

Uhhhhhhh

Um

...slenderman uhhhhm meeting reader who is the same.. species? Found family????? Reader being chipper and welcoming?? Artistic and calming?? Basically um. I dunno. They also live in the woods and collect poor souls, helping them cope and detach from this world??????

I am.. stoopid.

Slenderman x slender-person!artistic!reader ! (found family)

dusts out my slenderman hcs as well as my au ideas on him aheehee ahoo speed running this since i just put my first round of macarons into the oven and im too impatient to wait until theyre done baking for me to write this NEVER BACK DOWN NEVER WHAT

okay but im getting this idea out of the way before i forget. imagine the reader, instead of doing paintings and stuff for the "artist" thing they make little structures and statues and stuff and have them around in your area. of course theyre all made with forest material; mud, sticks, pinecones, ect ect i dont know, i just love the nature aesthetic with this idea and rrrraaaaaAAAAH

for some reason or another, you make your home in the same woods THE slenderman lives in; or perhaps it was the otherway around? regardless, it doesnt take long for you to become aware of one another....

okay but how funny would it be if you guys bonded over your annoyances over people collecting your stuff. people taking his pages, and people taking your art projects (at least the ones that are portable). like!

though i cannot think of any lore reasons for slendermans pages in my au.... i will one day i promise, i feel like thats too much of an iconic thing to just cut out

it DOES take a long while for slenderman to get used to you, much less foster a friendship with you... but a family bond? i mean yeah sure, hes very reclusive... but thats not just with humans. he doesnt like interacting with other creatures, either

pats your shoulder

my moot

my dear moot, allow me to go on a tangent about my take on slenderman

basic summary is that he and all other demon/most nonhuman creepypasta characters were made by zalgo in my funky au; basically to bring disorder and that kind of shit. but like in a "this is just a part of this universe's nature" way. thus making slenderman himself in my take the be a simple fact of life... thinks.. and he resents his own existence, i think. i mean how cruel is it that he was made to cause issues, in fact he cant live without it (eats people) but he was granted the ability to be able to grasp the complexity of morals and emotion. like thats fucked

i love it

anyways, theres that and him just naturally being reclusive! hell even his supposed "brothers" (splendor and trender, i refuse to touch the third one) hes still.. distant

basically what i mean to say is that you guys probably arent going to be.. outwardly close... if that makes sense. like hes not going to be very affectionate; so dont expect many familial... things... and its not often that he would seek conversation out... though

as i write that, if i recall correctly i did give him the vague craving of connection, and while i usually save that for traditional x reader stuff, i think this would still apply to found family stuff! so actually, i think he WOULD eventually start seeking your company out, just for the fact of having someone else to talk to who doesnt resent his existence the same way he resents his own

sits

given my silly hc i do think he would have some understanding with your relationship with humans/lost souls. would he do it himself? i think it really depends on the situation... like if hes not actively hunting he usually just drives people out of the woods, no sense in wasting.... things... you know?

sits

im all jumbled all over the place my apolocheese im just excited to write for slenderman again

will get annoyed if you snatch away his "meal" since AGAIN, he was cursed to feed on people . like he understands why you did it, and he has mixed feelings around eating human (like not in a "im distressed and i hate it" way more so "its not totally desirable but i cant survive without doing this" way)

sits

i think

im gonna toy around with my slenderman hcs... this ended up being more of a hc dump than a x reader, my apologies

its also that as im typing this i realize how similar my takes on eyeless jack and slenderman are... which is funny because they live in the same woods in my au but they fucking HATE each other

territorial stuff you know