#Genshin Jean

[heart-teyvat]

Why the long face, partner? 🐴

[fruity-mond]

Happy birthday, Kaeya!! You awful stupid man.

I think he should have a platonic birthday kiss. As a treat.

Inspired by the fact that Kaeya once completely lost his words after being caught off-guard, and that's adult Kaeya. Imagine a more vulnerable Teen Kaeya.

I would say OOC Diluc but this is pre-trauma Diluc so it doesn't count I think also I'm spending my Mondstadt Thoma agenda

(For some reason my posts keep disappearing?? Also, the shameless Kaeya bday fic plug that I wrote alongside this)

[fuji-sen]

the 'evil imposter' just wants to be a baker!

Prologue: The Foodie turned Imposter?!

Part 8: Buttery Mamon

[ part 7 ] || [ masterlist ] || [ part 9 ]

I keep forgetting to add trigger warnings uhhh: one scene has you panicing and nearly falling into an anxious mess, ptsd of course and the general sagau obsession with the creator.

divider is made by @/saradika-graphics

While Kaeya was finishing the last of the skewers you were busy near the stove, using the stocked ingredients in the panty when Kaeya reassured you it was fine, that he'd handle it and just hoped you'd make it worth his while.

Rolling your eyes at his teasing, you knew he meant it when he said that he'll take the brunt if Adelinde or Diluc came to scold them or rather her, for using the ingredients in the kitchen.

A simple snack was what you preferred, something light that would contrast to the meaty skewers that Kaeya had provided for the both of you. You were craving something sweet and soft, so you decided on a pastry. Though you initially thought of something cold, like ice cream or sorbet or maybe pudding, you don't think they have any ice here unless you wished to go to Mondstadt, Kaeya had a cryo vision but it would be rude to ask him to make you some ice during your first meeting.

So some fluffy mamoms would have to do, and you could probably top it with some cheese or a bit more powdered sugar. And he could share it with the other workers as a light treat.

Kaeya watched as you quickly gathered the ingredients, and skillfully start. It was apparent that you were very experienced in cooking from the way you easily cracked the eggs without worry, and how you beat them with a whisk.

To think that you were the supposed imposter, instead of brewing chaos or using the fact that you look like the creator to your advantage, you were here, hiding your identity, talking about food with him.

It wasn't hard to notice, despite you well crafted lie of a background, he could see through it. He noticed the bandages on one of your arm, and peeking out of it was something purple, no doubt Scars from Lisa's electro fueled attacks. Then there was your mask, though you didn't take it off while you ate, you didn't noticed how the mask would flap around due to the wind, luckily letting him take a glimpse of your face.

It was uncanny how you mirrored the old statues of their Divine Creator. Had he been obsessed with pleasing the great God like Jean and Lisa were, he'd have easily killed you on the spot, labelling you as an imposter. But he wasn't like them. Although he respected the Great Creator, the origin of all, he wasn't blinded by such faith.

Perhaps there was a chance you were just a regular person caught up in a bad time in the wrong place.

Because as rarely as it happens, it does happen.

Hopefully he could convince the others about that, maybe with the Travelers help.

"How long will that take?" he asked as you popped whatever you were making in the oven. "Usually half an our, but since I'm using a less advanced oven I'm not sure. I'll have to watch it so it doesn't burn." You explained, wiping your hands with a rag.

He nodded in understanding, the smell of eggs and something buttery was filing the room, no doubt it was appetizing and enticing when even Adelinde curiously checked in on them.

"Oh Master Kaeya, you're still here. I would have thought you'd have scurry off somewhere like usual." She said with a smile, Adelinde was always smiling though, huh?"

"Ah I just had to stay for [Name]'s dish, what was it again?"

You shrugged, "It's simply some mamon, it's like a chiffon cake. And there should be enough for everybody." You added, facing Adelinde who chuckled, embarrassed of having been caught eying the baking pastry.

"That is very sweet of you, Thank you [name]." The blonde haired maid said and turned to Kaeya once again. The duo left the kitchen, holding a conversation that was no doubt confidential that someone like her, an outsider, shouldn't hear.

The smile on your face slowly disappeared, replaced with a calculating frown. "Kaeya probably knows I'm the person the other knights are looking for." You said to yourself, eyes casting down towards the mamon which were slowly rising up.

"I don't think he'll attack me unless I give him a reason." you interacting with him was like a gamble, you were easing your way in, waiting for a chance to ask, what did he think about this great creator?

There was a part of you expecting him to give a passive response or an answer that danced around your question. Because you knew of his lineage, you wondered how do the people of khaenri'ah view the creator, for they are the nation without a God.

Of course just when you were about to ask him the question you had carefully thought about, he was whisked away by Adelinde. Perhaps it was a sign for her to leave, that she shouldn't ask less she gave herself away.

You were preparing the glaze for the mamon, which was simply melted butter as well as the jar of honey and powdered sugar in case they wanted to top the chiffon bread with something a bit more sweeter.

Suddenly the door had burst open as Kaeya quickly grabbed her shoulders, the charismatic mask he had worn had slipped off for a moment, now replaced with something urgent. Your eyes widened in fear, as you felt your hands shake, was he going to kill you?

"You need to be extra careful, not only are the knights looking for you but the fatui delegates are as well." He told you which shocked you, was the reach of this so called great creator truly so magnificent to even make its way to Shezhnaya, a region you thought who was only devoted to the Tsaritsa?

He knew as well, Kaeya knew who you were- you pushed him away, backing until you hit the counter. "Don't" you practically pleaded "Don't hurt me!"

"I won't" he said, "I'm sorry I suddenly grabbed you" he quickly added realizing his mistake "but you need to listen to me. Jean wants you dead, as well as Amber, and Lisa and the other knights. They are convinced you are the imposter. And Jean is desperate enough to accept the Fatui's help."

"You understand what that means right?"

It just got more difficult, you felt yourself fall to the floor, your chest felt painfully suffocating. He cursed under his breath, mentally berating himself for losing his tact, his cool level-headedness as he crouched down.

"[Name]" he called out softly, stretching out his hand "I need you to calm down okay? can you do that? You need to breathe."

His voice fell on deaf ears, you covered your face with your hands, murmuring pleads of mercy, even if the pain was gone, even if the samachurl helped heal you, you still felt it, that electrocuting pain that traveled your body, it made you freeze, and cry, feeling so helpless as instead of being in the kitchen, it felt like you were in Jean's office.

The cold metal that touched your neck,

their uncaring eyes, and deaf ears that turned away from your cries and fears. .

the electro, the lightning that-

"You know, how about when all of this is just over, I treat you to some food."

". . . . ."

Your mutterings had stopped, as you tried so hard, straining your ears to just focus on Kaeya's voice. Ignoring Jean's and Lisa's who spat such poisonous words at you.

"Have you tried the moon pies here?" he asked, noticing your attention was slowly coming back as you broke free from the cage that was that night. Your small voice could be heard "I. . I don't really like meat pies."

Kaeya fought a grin "and here I thought you were a foodie." You pouted, rubbing your face, "meat pies are weird for me, I like apple pies more." you commented with a deep breath, your heart was still racing, and despite not being able to truly break away from that night, Kaeya's eye that stared into your soul told you that you'd be just fine.

"It'll be okay." he said quietly.

"Hopefully." you pitifully said and he corrected you,

"Definitely."

You and Kaeya heard the door open and close, and a rush of footsteps followed by Adelinde's loud greeting. "Master Diluc, you're home early!"

"Shit." Was the only thing you and Kaeya said, staring at the door and then at each other. You would be screwed if Diluc of all people had found you after all!

꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦

Diluc raised a brow at Adelinde, she was usually on the less. . vocal side in her greetings. From the way she fidget and avoided making eye contact it meant that the maid was hiding something from him, which wasn't out of common.

Usually Adelinde, bless her heart, tried to help fix the relationship between him and Kaeya. Often that meant orchestrating surprises or uncanny coincidences where in the two would bump into each other and have to deal with something suspiciously or well, clearly crafted by the maid.

The red headed male sighed "Where's Kaeya?"

Adelinde sweated profusely, perhaps it was better to hide from Diluc to and claim later that she had been busy, curse her for being a bad liar. Usually she was better than this but because of the current situation, there was a whole lot of pressure.

"He-"

"Diluc!" Kaeya had strolled out of the kitchens, wine glass in hand as he nodded at Adelinde who sighed in relief. Perhaps by now the look-alike was gone, 'poor girl, to think she's being hunted down by her face' she couldn't help but sigh at the situation, eying the two brothers. They didn't usually agree with each other, but maybe, maybe they'll agree on this.

"Kaeya, what are you doing here? as far as I know Jean had ordered all Knights to focus on the search for the Imposter." Diluc crossed his arms, giving the other male a look. "Oh please Diluc, do you really support their decision about this whole. ." he trailed off, acting as if he was trying to find the right words "witch hunt?"

The red hair was silent at his question, and Kaeya couldn't help but let a grin fall on his mouth, of course Diluc would object to this. He was just as righteous at their dad. . no Mr. Crepus was. "Does it matter? as much as a witch hunt is. . overkill. I understand Jean's sentiments that an imposter running around in Monstadt is a grave sign."

"Are you willing to risk the chance of harming or even killing an innocent person, or worse, the real creator then?" Kaeya asked, swirling the contents of his wine glass, watching the blood colored liquid to move like a whirlpool. Silence was the only answer he got.

"Why are you vouching for this imposter?" Diluc asked, eyes narrowing "Have you met them?"

"Perhaps, perhaps not."

Knowing he wouldn't get a clear answer from him, not with his skill of dancing around with his words and controlling his body languages, Diluc resorted to turning to Adelinde who flinched.

"Adelinde."

"Yes, Master Diluc?"

Adelinde tried her best to smile at Diluc as if she was unaware of what he was talking about. If the situation wasn't dire, Kaeya would have laughed at her failed attempt to appear innocent.

"Did the imposter came here?"

"My Master Diluc, I don't know about any Imposter." She said. Diluc sighed, and decided to investigate, he headed straight towards the kitchen, the same place Kaeya had left in a hurry. From his peripheral Vision he could see the cavalry captain hold the wine glass tighter.

He swung the door open, ignoring Adelinde's calls. The kitchen door and window was left open, it was warm inside, suggesting the oven had been used. The smell of butter filled his nose and he turned his gaze to the table finding something akin to small cakes shaped like tarts.

Hurried footsteps followed after, a sigh of relief left Kaeya's mouth. "What did you do?" Diluc immediately responded with frustration, turning to the cryo wielder with a heated gaze, hand gripping Kaeya's shirt.

"I merely let an innocent victim go. Don't you know the saying? innocent until proven guilty." Kaeya easily responded turning to Adelinde who clearly looked worried that the two might fight. "Adelinde, thank your for your assistance, I'm sorry you had to lie. Why don't you leave me and Diluc to talk things out."

"but. ."

"Please Adelinde." Diluc added, despite his frustrations, his face softened as he turned to the maid who nodded, lips trembling due to the conflicting emotions.

". . ."

"If you wish to risk your life for someone, then so be it." Diluc sighed letting go of his collar. A hand combing through his flaming red locks. "So what have you gathered about this person?"

"They're certainly have the face of the creator, that I will confess however" Kaeya approached the table, setting down the wine glass as his eyes glanced at the chiffon cake, "mamon" her voice lingered in his mind. "she's no imposter, she didn't intentionally deceive anyone. Besides, is it a person's fault for the face they are born with?"

"That would be like blaming a person for the crimes of their parents. . or blaming a person for their heritage. ."

". . ."

Diluc looked tired, his usual mask of indifference had disappeared as he took a seat. "I take it the meeting with Jean was. . less than favorable?"

"I suppose that would be the correct word to describe it." he admitted, Jean had been acting weird, it wasn't just her. Lisa, the usual lazy or too relaxed librarian was rather energetic in her plans to find, catch and kill the imposter. Amber as well was leading the knights to searching the region. "I think she's trying to compensate for not being favored by the Creator." Kaeya offhandedly mentioned, quickly raising his hands however at his brother's penetrative glare.

Kaeya gulped but continued on, "Listen, there's no use letting our personal relationships cloud our judgement. You know how Jean has been when the creator has manifested in her but never truly favored her."

It was hard to deduce when it started, their memories had begun to feel clouded, controlled, and rewritten. Numerous vision users in Mondstadt had felt an awaken, briefly being covered with a golden light, their bodies controlled by someone powerful, a being they would come to realized as the Divine Creator who had awoken from their long slumber, ready to guide the people.

Their favor came in many forms, often or really, it was only the vision holders did the Creator cast their gaze on. The first to be awakened was Amber, followed by Lisa and Kaeya and from then it branched on from Bennett, to Noelle, to Razor and more. Diluc himself had been one of the few to not experience this awakening, but he wasn't bothered by it or at least if he was, he was good at hiding it to the point that Kaeya wasn't entirely sure of how he felt with not being experiencing the Creator's control.

Jean had also been awakened, however unlike the others who felt the Creator's favor and guidance in forms of weapons and artifacts, she didn't experience or receive anything. It was like the Creator casted her gaze on the acting grandmaster only for a moment, and decided that she was not worth any effort.

Nobody outright commented on it, the civilians of course were not aware. The only reason why Diluc knew despite not being in the knights of Favonius was because the blonde haired knight drunkenly confessed her feelings of doubts. Seemed that the pressure of being the acting grand master, the Stormterror problem and the neglect from the Divine Creator had made the woman he once respected spiral down in a pit of self-destruction.

"Here, have some." Noticing how sad or at least worried Diluc was becoming, Kaeya took one of the mamoms and force-fed Diluc. "Omph-" The man glared at the cavalry captain who shrugged, slapping his hand away Diluc bit into the chiffon break cake and instantly melted at the buttery goodness.

It was very soft and warm, a hint of sweetness and definitely butter. "This is. . good. Who made this?"

"The so called imposter." To his credit, Diluc didn't spit it out. It was too late anyways. So he begrudgingly continued to eat it, despite assuming there might be something bad in it.

"I hate you."

Kaeya rolled his eyes at his brother's reactions, "Diluc it's not poisoned. I was watching her the entire time she made them!"

I always wondered how Khaenri'ah played with the sagau elements considering they are canonically the nation without a God. So for now, they would no doubt respect the great Creator who is seen as the origin of everything, but since they managed well without a God, perhaps they aren't as obsessed as the other acolytes. That's why its interesting for me to write Kaeya's pov about the creator. But since he grew up with the Ragnvindr, a family who no doubt respected and paid tribute to the Creator, he'd probably have more respect to the Creator than most Khaenri'ans.

Current compiled suggestions to name the pyro slime <3

Fuji_Sen has suggested! Lava Cake or "Java" based on the food / coffee" Fuji_Sen has suggested! Monsieur Creme Brulee or "Creme" based on the food. @Fantasyhopperhea has suggested! Soleil or "Sol" @Cactus4226 has suggested! Ruru (Py-ro, ro -> ru -> ruru) @bunniotomia has suggested! Helios or "Hel" @airyravenmaid has suggested! Cinnamon or "Cinna" @kindofscenic has suggested! Pyrex from the glass or "Pyruru" @shyentsmissingink has suggested! Pyri or "Pyrico"

kinda wished there was more food based names, since of the whole foodie theme, but I kinda think Sol or Hel is cute too and Cinna.

also I have an idea like for a self aware or at least reader insert hsr

taglist:

@fantasyhopperhea @rhoswen-drake @cchiiwinkle @aman3kkun @coffee-or-hot-cocoa @bunniotomia @esthelily

@earth-to-name @fandomfan-102 @kh1ffy @jiyeons-closet @dragontammerz / @mercy-not-merci @aryuunachigiri @randomnatics @alexx197197 @keirennyx @vianitry @game-savvy @laviniadraws

[heart-select]

I like to think kaeya with klee in the anecdote event under the guise of checking the local wine industry in Liyue is just Diluc and Jean's ploy to get that bitch a vacation. If he goes on his own, he'll be working but if he goes with Klee, it's p much babysitting and he's forced to have fun and chill out bc the last thing Kaeya would do is make Klee do actual work and leave her alone to destroy the country bc that man dotes on her.

[hoyo-transparents]

Genshin Impact Kaeya and Jean transparent! From Kaeya birthday artworks and Mondstadt Tourism Revitalization Project Wallpaper. Google Drive Link for full quality

> Please do not repost > Credit appreciated but not required when using in edits/gfx > If you prefer Discord, here is a link to my server! > Reblogs greatly appreciated ❤️

[notarakhae]

Half sketch or something

hc that these three were good friends growing up. In this scenario, I can't stop thinking about Jean, who may have felt like she was losing her friends and didn't even understand why. (yeah technically Kaeya is still around, but I think he's become more secretive and cold)

[starlightandust-marejai]

Thats it thats their entire friendship

[starlovesganyu]

Love your writing style, its so comfy to read (⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠)

Can I humbly request [characters] perfect date for whoever you want to do.

From: 🦎

their perfect date!

❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀

what their perfect date is!

thanks for the ask!

various characters x gn!reader

characters: keqing, hu tao, clorinde, jean, ei, yae miko, furina, bronya, black swan, feixiao, march 7th, qingque, silver wolf

warnings: none

not proofread

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

keqing -`✮´-

• window shopping is her favorite way to spend time with you!

• she wouldn't be able to contain her excitement as you walk through the streets of liyue together, looking at all the different goods displayed in shop windows

• enjoys explaining the significance behind many of the artifacts, or how different types of clothing are manufactured

• but, if gently intertwine your fingers with hers, she'll shut up real quick

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

hu tao -`✮´-

• would definitely enjoy bringing you to a haunted house of some sort

• obviously she wouldn't get scared, but enjoys watching you jump at every little movement and sound

• would also scare you herself, then giggle at your reaction

• should you hide behind or grab hold of her out of fear or for protection, her heart will flutter a little <3

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

clorinde -`✮´-

• for her, playing through a tabletop troupe script with you would be her ideal date

• she loves to immerse herself in the story and characters, and whenever she roleplays with you, she finds it much more enjoyable!

• she'll secretly pick a script that has her saving you from monsters, or even one that ends with the two of you kissing (//ω//)

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

jean -`✮´-

• a midday picnic away from the hustle and bustle of mondstat and the knights is perfect!

• you would bring your favorite dishes, she would bring hers, and you two would spend time sharing food and stories

• spending time away from her responsibilities and expectations also helps her relax and decompress

• her heart will melt if you lean on her shoulder or lay your head down in her lap

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

ei -`✮´-

• in her mind, simply walking around inazuma with you is perfect

• having been stuck in the plane of euthymia for so long, many of the sights and goods are still novel to her, and she enjoys listening to you explain all the new things she’s seeing and experiencing

• but, you should be prepared to stop at every shop or stand that sells sweets

• wouldn’t try and feed her any sweets though, she’s still the archon and has an image to uphold

she’ll gladly do it in private

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

yae miko -`✮´-

• she would prefer to start the night off with a nice dinner

• wouldn't have to be anything extremely fancy, the only requirement being the establishment must serve fried tofu

��� after the meal, simply lazing around at home with you would be a perfect way to end the night

• she would enjoy reading light novels with you in her lap, but her hands would be constantly roaming around your body, making it very difficult for you to focus on your book

"dear, is the novel not to your liking? you've been on the same page for ten minutes now..."

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

furina -`✮´-

• would love to go watch some sort of stage play or musical with you

• she wouldn't care what genre the performance actually is, she just wants to spend time with you!

• unless it's horror-if it is, she'll have a death grip on your hand the entire way through

• the following days, or even weeks, she's not entering any dark rooms by herself, has you check in the closet and under the bed before sleep, summons all the salon members to keep watch, and clings to you like her life depends on it while she's trying to sleep

• if it's not horror, she would be constantly glancing over at you to "gauge your reactions at different scenes" (you're just too beautiful, and she couldn't resist the urge to look at you)

• would also enjoy acting out some of her favorite scenes to you in private!

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

bronya -`✮´-

• similar to jean, anything that lets her take a break from her responsibilities and expectations would already be perfect

• that being said, she would really enjoy going clothes shopping with you!

• besides taking her mind off work, it's allows her to admire you under the pretense of making sure the clothes fit on you

• she'd blush every time you tell her she looks good in something

• would suck at helping you decide what to pick because you just look good in everything!

• wants to hold your hand, but sadly she's got an image to uphold-don't worry though, she'll make up for it by giving you a quick kiss in a changing room!

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

black swan -`✮´-

• 100% a romantic candlelit dinner type of woman

• loves to listen to you talk about your most recent or favorite memories!

• she'd also want to show you some of her favorite memories of the two of you, or even maybe some of her favorites from her own life

• would definitely make you relive some of your embarrassing moments, for example, when she caught you red-handed trying on her clothes and posing in front of a mirror

• afterwards, taking a calm night stroll hand in hand would be a perfect way to close the night

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

feixiao -`✮´-

• would love to have you accompany her for a morning run and workout!

• when she runs, it usually allows her clear her mind and think over important issues with a fresh mind, but since you're present she can only think about you

• don't worry! if you get tired or don't want to run, she'd be more than happy to just take a morning stroll!

she'd also be willing to carry you

• would love if you'd join her lifting weights, but wouldn't ever make you do anything you don't want to do

• very obvious that she's trying harder than ever now that you're watching to try and impress you <3

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

march 7th -`✮´-

• shopping.

• spending a whole day going store to store looking for cute things with you would be a dream come true

• she'd have you try on many different outfits, and may even have you pose for her camera!

• would also suck at helping you choose an outfit, you just look too cute in everything!

• by the end of the day, her camera roll is filled with pictures of you and her, and she'll immortalize her favorites on her wall

• if you were to buy her a stuffed animal of any kind, she'd treasure it, naming it ruler over all her other stuffed animals, and would also hold it when she's missing you </3

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

qingque -`✮´-

• she'd love to just slack off and play celestial jade with you!

• she wouldn't care if you brought along your friends, as long as they were fine losing to her

• but, if was were to be down to you and her, she'd discreetly make a bad play to let you win because your smile never fails to make her heart skip a beat!

• grabbing takeout and walking around aurum alley would be a cherry on top for her, but you should be prepared to have a lot of your food stolen by her

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

silver wolf -`✮´-

• would want to just laze around and play video games with you

• she's very skilled at basically every game, so she could help you beat bosses you were struggling on or boost you a couple matches in competitive

• could also spawn you in credits or other valuable in game resources if you wanted-just don't ask how

• if you decide you want to play against her, she'll promptly sit herself down in your lap just to distract you (not like she needs the advantage, she just likes to watch you slowly get flustered)

• also uses you as like a good luck charm for her gacha game pulls

a/n: thanks for reading!

[caroodraws]

Drawing every Genshin character: #5 Jean

With this one, I wanted to push how Jean has been shoved into an administrative role and show her as the overworked waifu she is

I decided I’m generally trying to get through all the monstadt ones first

[dayluc-ragnvindr]

Day 47 of drawing Diluc everyday until I c6 him.

og by @/lilalienz4ever (twitter)

[dilan0v0]

Jean as anemo archon for #jarch day 8

[shizuturnspages]

MISUNDERSTANDINGS THAT COULD END LIVES , it was very funny xDdddddz, can I request one from(diluc?) kaeya and Albedo?? (the unlucky one could be Barbara's stalker)(I don't remember his name xD)

How To Accidentally Die in Mondstadt

Kaeya: The Devil in Disguise

Kaeya is charismatic, charming, and incredibly good at making things sound worse than they are. He’s also bored half the time, which means sometimes, just sometimes, he likes to mess with people.

And that’s exactly what happened the night Albert (Barbara’s infamous stalker) made the biggest mistake of his life.

Albert had been lurking outside the Angel's Share, trying (and failing) to look casual while watching Barbara through the tavern’s window. His little stalker heart fluttered—his idol, his goddess, his one true love was inside, talking to you.

He clenched his fists. Who the hell were you? And why was Barbara laughing like you were the most interesting person in the world?

He was just about to storm in when someone tapped his shoulder.

“Ah, what do we have here?”

Albert yelped, turning to see none other than Kaeya Alberich, leaning against the wall like he had all the time in the world.

“Oh, C-Cavalry Captain Kaeya!” Albert stammered.

Kaeya’s smile was too friendly. Too sharp.

“You seem upset,” Kaeya hummed, tilting his head. “Staring at (Y/N) like that… jealous, are we?”

Albert scoffed. “Why would I be jealous? That thing doesn’t deserve to be near my dear Barbara—”

Kaeya’s grin widened.

“Oh? So you don’t know?”

Albert frowned. “Know what?”

Kaeya sighed dramatically. “You poor, poor fool.” He stepped closer, voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper.

“(Y/N) isn’t just some random person.”

Albert swallowed. “...What do you mean?”

Kaeya’s eye twinkled with pure evil.

“Ah, you see… (Y/N) is a hitman.”

Albert’s blood ran cold.

Kaeya kept going.

“You didn’t hear? The Favonius higher-ups got tired of your little ‘hobbies,’” Kaeya said, shaking his head. “They decided to hire an… outside solution.”

Albert’s face went pale.

“And you know the funniest part?” Kaeya leaned in, voice barely above a whisper. “They don’t just kill you. No, no. First, they take their time. A little pain here, a little broken bone there—”

Albert bolted.

He ran like his life depended on it (because in his mind, it did).

Kaeya, meanwhile, just chuckled and walked back into the tavern, where you were completely unaware of what had just happened.

You blinked up at him. “Where’d you go?”

Kaeya smiled, sipping his drink.

“Oh, nowhere important.”

Diluc: Silent and Deadly

Diluc was used to people being terrified of him. He was the Darknight Hero, after all. It came with the job.

But he was not expecting this.

Albert, still paranoid from his encounter with Kaeya, needed a place to hide. And what better place than Dawn Winery?

Surely, nobody would think to look for him in the domain of Mondstadt’s most reclusive noble.

So, heart pounding, Albert sprinted into the estate, nearly tripping over his own feet as he stumbled through the grand entrance.

A maid, Adelinde, looked at him with a raised brow.

“...Sir, do you have an appointment?”

Albert, out of breath, wheezed, “I—I just—need to—”

Then everything went silent.

Because standing at the top of the staircase was Diluc.

Watching.

His red eyes glowed in the dim lighting, burning into Albert like a predator eyeing weak prey.

Albert froze.

Diluc descended the stairs slowly, deliberately.

His boots echoed against the marble floor.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Each step felt like a death sentence.

Albert couldn’t move.

Diluc stopped in front of him.

“…You shouldn’t be here.”

Albert swallowed hard.

His gaze flickered to Diluc’s hands.

Where he saw something dark.

Something staining the noble’s gloves.

Blood.

Albert’s breath hitched.

Diluc followed his gaze, then let out a soft hum.

“I see.”

Albert almost died on the spot.

He turned and ran before Diluc could say another word.

The red-haired noble watched him go, his expression unreadable.

Then, calmly, he turned to Adelinde.

“…Why did he look at me like that?”

Adelinde sighed. “Master Diluc, you do realize your gloves are covered in grape juice, yes?”

Diluc looked down at his hands.

Ah.

That explained it.

Albedo: The Quiet Menace

Albedo was not a people person. He was a scientist first, an artist second, and a conversationalist dead last.

So when Albert (who, by now, was convinced that the entire city was out to kill him) ran into Dragonspine, he wasn’t expecting to see the Chief Alchemist himself.

He also wasn’t expecting Albedo to be standing over a pile of bones.

Albert froze.

Albedo looked up, tilting his head.

“…Can I help you?”

Albert’s fight-or-flight instincts kicked in.

His brain put two and two together.

“(Y/N) is a hitman.”

“Diluc wants me dead.”

“Albedo is standing over a pile of BONES.”

Albert screamed.

And Albedo, not knowing what was happening, just watched him run away with mild confusion.

Sucrose, coming out of the tent: “Who was that?”

Albedo: shrugs “I don’t know. But I think he’s scared of me.”

Sucrose: “...Did you say something to him?”

Albedo, glancing at the pile of Dragonspine monster bones behind him:

“…Maybe.”

The Fall of Albert

The next morning, Jean received a formal resignation letter from Albert.

It simply read:

"I regret to inform you that I am leaving Mondstadt permanently. Please tell Barbara I loved her. But also that she should watch her back, because this city is full of killers. I am certain that (Y/N) has been hired to end my life. Kaeya knows everything. Diluc is covering up crimes. Albedo is dissolving bodies in Dragonspine. I no longer feel safe. May Barbatos bless you all."

Jean blinked.

Lisa, reading over her shoulder, burst out laughing.

You, walking in completely clueless: “What’s so funny?”

Jean and Lisa, looking at you like you just committed murder:

“…Nothing.”

Moral of the story:

Never let Kaeya talk unsupervised.

Diluc should probably stop crushing grapes with his hands.

And Albedo should not be seen near bones.

RIP Albert. You will not be missed. 😌

[fruity-mond]

My friend got an opportunity to get free customized merch and gave the rest of us like. 10 bucks each to make our own for our little guys

Dude I had so much fun making these

(Try to guess who my favourite character is)

[shootingstarrfish]

happy pride month!!!!!!!!!!!! 

[raindoeart]

Mondstadt mlp au

[jangmo-othewarrior]

Out of context memes about my latest fic because even if I write slow fic don't leave the brain

Plus a Me at work bonus: