#we're agender btw

[earhartsease]

omg its finally happening - after 13 years of hrt we finally have what might be described as A Rack, and for the first time are getting random strangers assume we're a woman (it'll do, we aren't anything but certainly not a man) even when we're standing up and they're dealing with our entire 6'3" height

of course the way this is manifesting is delivery guys calling us "love" or "sweetheart" but it's oddly euphoria-inducing after all those years of "sir" and "mate" - and the fact that it's summer so we're wearing tee shirts obviously enhances the effect

and as a system, our people in here have a whole array of mixed feelings about the boobs that came along with physical transition (some of us would prefer a more masc torso) but the general consensus is none of us wants to be called a man so we'll take it

[scpwiki-official]

SCPolycule (+kpc and roth) real

[jamiemaybeme]

made this in like year 8 (seventh grade i believe? around 12/13 years old) and it kinda slaps

BUT TELL ME WHY I CAN'T LOOK A SINGLE THING WITHOUT THINKING OF AZIRAPHALE AND CROWLEY. THE BRAINROT IS BRAINROTTING. IT WON'T STOP. SOON IT WILL BE COMPLETELY DECAYED. SEND HELP. QUICKLY, BEFORE IT GETS TOO LATE.

[toastsnaffler]

weekend melancholy is starting to kick in >~<

[crashingmoons]

looking for moots ^^

im not new btw, just want friends hehe

im finn, or riv if we're close enough. I'm agender and use any pronouns. I'm aroace. I was piercedveils on quotev before it died.

I typically don't tag but will if you ask me to. I do use tone tags.

im a minor. legals are allowed to interact and follow but I'm not gonna become friends with you.

i mainly repost and post random shitposts/memes but if I become confident enough in my art I might start posting art

my fandoms are:

hermitcraft(!!)

the life series(!!)

empires (mainly s1)

harry potter (fuck jkr)

the owl house

your turn to die

bungou stray dogs

spy x family

gravity falls

the amazing digital circus

avatar the last airbender

stranger things

my fav ccs are:

goodtimeswithscar

grian

mumbo jumbo

smallishbeans

if you wanna become moots interact with this post, dont only follow pls!!

[jamisonwritestf2trash]

TF2 Headcanons pt.3 I can't stop. The chokehold is now a death grip.

I guess I'm a TF2 blog now 😮‍💨 (not really complaining, also if you get tired of me posting nothing but hcs let me know what you want to see instead.)

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Ice cream preferences? Ice cream preferences.

Demo probably ordered rum rasin once, thinking it actually had rum in it but actually ended up liking it. I think he also likes pralines and cream or pistachio. He likes wafflecones to an unhealthy extent.

Engie likes anything with peanut butter. He also likes chocolate chip cookie dough. He will eat an entire tub of ice cream, but he deserves it, so it's fine.

Heavy likes all of the traditional flavors, vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, and stuff like that. But he hates neapolitan. He's in the same boat as Engie. They just eat the entire tub together.

Medic loves Cherry Garcia, like unhealthy love. He also really likes anything with strawberry sause (looks like blood, he's a little freak he'd eat ice cream out of a human skull if you let him).

Scout likes cookies and cream. He also really likes dirtcups (hot fudge, chocolate ice cream, crushed oreo, and gummy worms, in case you didn't know). I genuinely think this man can't eat "boring" foods. Like he has to have crunch in his food. He's not allowed to eat in cones anymore. Don't ask him about it. (Also, hc him as lactose intolerant, he just doesn't care.)

When it comes to Sniper, never let him live down the fact that in Australia, they have "Golden Gaytimes." As a viable ice cream option. He doesn't mind them. He gave Scout an aneurysm when he asked if he wanted one. But he's more of a plain chocolate guy. He eats it in out of the tub or in a dish, depending on how he feels.

Spy he likes coffee ice cream and makes it his entire personality. He's so mature for liking it, right guys?? He's just sooooo refined. No scout, you didn't see him ordering a double fudge brownie with sprinkles. They just messed up his order. No, he can't return it now! that'd be rude. (It's in a sugar cone, btw)

Soilder. GIVE THIS MAN HIS RED WHITE AND BLUE BOMBPOPS GOD DAMMIT! I think he also likes Butterscotch and Rocky Road. He likes cake cones.

Pyro loves bubblegum, Superman, and Blue Moon. They eat it in those cones with chocolate and sprinkles on them! They also like the SpongeBob popsicles.

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Pyro time!

They eat cinnamon candy all the time. It's so bad. They have at minimum 9 boxes of redhots on stand-by.

I think Pyro is agender. I think their just okay existing in their own world and have no care about gender.

Give them those fire snakes that change the fires' color and their ecstatic! Their favorite is blue.

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I think these dumbasses have the most random fears ever. None of them are scared of frogs or bugs, but God forbid you mention wooden spoons, and one of them vomits.

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I've seen people say the mercs have board game nights, and I love that idea, so....

Uno is banned. Strictly. It's not even funny. They played it once, and the moment the +4 card was played, all hell broke loose.

They all play poker or Cards Against Humanity at least once a week. Sometimes, they'll pick someone's favorite game to play.

Demo likes Yahtzee and Scrabble. He's just kinda chill like that.

Engie and Pyro both like the same games for the most part. They play Jenga a lot. Also, checkers!

Heavy really likes chess and connect 4.

Do not play board games with Medic. This man has anger issues. But if you really want to, candyland and life are his favorites.

Scout has a hard time playing video games. He can't pay attention at all. But if you play a card game like Red Flags or We're Not Really Strangers, he'll be able to focus on it.

Sniper, Spy, and Soilder all like traditional card games. Black Jack, Cribbage, Eucher, etc.

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Sorry this one is short. Very tired and stressed out right now.

I'm so glad you guys have been liking my posts! I'm smiling like an idiot anytime I open tumblr.

[lavender-teardroplettes]

Wait wait wait you’re married???? I literally had no idea lol. Will you tell us a bit about your spouse like how you guys met and started dating and stuff? Also are they apart of the yan community as well? Do they get jealous of the characters you simp for (my bf gets all pouty jealous over certain characters lol)

Yeee I got married back on April 24th!

We met while our college was filing for bankruptcy like 6ish years ago lol, we were in the same math class and we just sorta gravitated to each other after talking and figuring out that we shared a lot of the same interests. Fast forward years later and we're practically the same person (this is a joke, we're just attached to the hip. uwu) If you ever see me mention someone named "Bear" that's my spouse (they/them agender btw)!

They're gonna be the voice of Dante over @campwillowpeak actually! But for the most part they're more like in orbit of the community. They don't get jealous because they're also a simp for fictional characters and a lot of the ones I tend to really like remind me of them in some ways (all positive LOL) and they know I'd toss all of them away for my Bear~! We make the joke that I'm a yan for them, in all silliness of course. uwu They're just glad I'm having fun, making friends, and enjoying doing art again. Outside of nsfw stuff I show them all my wips lol.

[the-delta-quadrant]

it's not really that hard to just mirror the language people use to identify themselves just because "this other term also applies so i'll just use it instead".

if someone only ever calls themself agender, just call them agender too, instead of defaulting to nonbinary. if someone identifies as a nonbinary woman, call them that, instead of just nonbinary or just a woman. if someone only ever refers to themself as someone "with autism", don't just call them autistic. if someone only ever calls themself plus-size, just call them plus-size instead of fat. if someone calls themself low vision, just call them that instead of blind or visually impaired. if someone calls themself bi, just call them bi instead of bisexual or biromantic. don't assume things. labels are so individual. the worst thing that happens is that you find out they were fine with other terms being used. but the best thing that can happen is that you show someone that you listen and acknowledge, respect and honour their identity and the language that they use which is a kind and beautiful thing to do.

this is about individual people btw, not whole communities. "nonbinary", "fat", "trans", "autistic", "blind" etc. may still describe entire communities despite not everyone in that community also using that term, if that makes sense. when i say "nonbinary people", we're talking about anyone this term applies to, but if an individual person asks to call them specifically something else instead, just honour their request.

or you could, you know, just ask what terms someone would like to be called. this is true for all terms really, not just gendered ones.

[sayitaliano]

Ciao, I have a few questions:

what is the difference between lesbica and lesbiche?

Also, if I wanted to list my pronouns (he/she/xe) in Italian, what would I say?

Which kinda a follow up- are there neopronouns in Italian?

grazie, buono giornata!

Ciao!

lesbica = lesbian, singular; lesbiche = lesbians, plural I'm leaving you a few links about the lgbtq+ vocabulary, just in case you need: Lgbtqa Vocabulary | Lgbt+ | non binary (writing)

for pronouns I suggest you to read here (and other posts in the grammar masterpost in the pronomi section, right after pronomi diretti/indiretti). Btw personal pronouns are: I = io, You = tu, He/She = egli/lui, ella/lei (there's no specific agender pronoun as far as I know but check point n.3) We = noi You = voi They = essi/loro, esse/loro The pronouns I "deleted" are the ones taught in school for declaring verbs conjugations while studying, but not much used in common language. The fact that English provides the 2 forms pronouns (eg. they/them), doesn't need to be applied in Italian too: you can simply write he=lui / she=lei / they=loro as necessary.

Italian is a pretty gendered language, every noun has its gender to which you need to conjugate articles, adjectives and sometimes other parts of speech. Eg. you wrote "buono giornata": that's grammatically wrong cause "giornata" is a feminine word, so the adjective "buono" -masculine- is not correct; you should use "buona" -feminine- -> "buona giornata". We're still kinda behind with neopronouns, so when talking it gets a bit difficult. You can call a person by their name or be formal before asking how they rather be called (formal speech needs you to use a general "Lei", which has nothing to do with the person's gender despite seeming feminine -we recognize you're being formal cause you need to use verbs at the 3rd singular person too); or you can use the noun "persona" = person. Persona is a feminine noun, but you can use it no matter the gender of the person you're talking with cause it's just the noun itself being feminine. When writing you can add an */u/ə/ä at the end of the noun, instead of the "gendering" vowel when it comes to other nouns/adjectives and so on: eg. sono alt* = I'm tall (no gender specified). You can try using "u" when talking too (eg. sono altu), I heard it once so... yeah, you can try. It really reminds me of Sardinia tbh (Regional stereotypes, sorry) but if it works... I'm no one to tell y'all otherwise. Not saying we're not working on finding a solution, but it's a tough research and translating from English, a language that has a different grammar from ours, is pretty impossible. I've been researching a bit online and I noticed that English neologisms are probably to be used in Italian as well so: “ze/hir”, “xe/xem”, “ey/em”, “ve/ver”... just go with what makes you feel better anyway. You can still explain what you mean if someone doesn't get it (it doesn't have to be a bad/rude person, it's just that is something new for many of us, especially the elders, that are not so much online or informed about this kind of pronouns/changes). BTW you can try watching tonight's show about the Diversity Media Awards, maybe you'll get some more recent news on that matter too (IDK).

Hope this helps somehow, please feel free to ask for further infos if you need!

[headmates-for-you]

hii. it may be a weird request but can we request a "fake anti" subsys? as in like. a subsys to help us to hide the fact that we're rq when we're talking to our anti friends online or when we're in anti spaces. btw we'll pretend as if a lot of the transids and cisids of the host of that subsys are our actually bodily cisids just for the funsies lol.

it'd be cool if the host was on the younger side. and the count of headmates in the subsys is up to you. thank you!!

-⭐️

Name(s): Marshall (subsys host)

Nickname(s): Marsh

Age(s): 13-15

Pronouns: he/him

Gender(s): trans male

Orientation(s): panromantic demisexual

TransID(s): transanti, transrqhater, transgender, transemo, transobsessive, transforgetful, transADHD, transseveriADHD, transautism, transRAADS-Rscore(179/240)

Source(s): brainmade

Paras: antiphilia

Emoji signoff: 🚫💻

Positive trigger(s): online discourse, antirqDMs

Faceclaim: 

Name(s): Rennay

Nickname(s): Renn

Age(s): 17

Pronouns: she/her, he/him, it/its

Gender(s): genderfluid

Orientation(s): achillian 

TransID(s): transanti, transrqhater, transfighter, transOCD, transsociopath

Source(s): brainmade

Paras: sinefaciemphilia, maniaphilia

Emoji signoff: 🚫🥊

Positive trigger(s): rude comments, people starting fights online

Faceclaim: 

Name(s): Soleil

Nickname(s): Sol

Age(s): 16

Pronouns: he/him, it/its, star/stars, glow/gows

Gender(s): stargender, galaxygender

Orientation(s): cupio

TransID(s): transanti, transrqhater, transcrocheter, transartist, transtransgender, transAFAB, transdysphoric, transbeing, transgalaxyorigin

Source(s): brainmade

Paras: astrophilia, antiphilia

Emoji signoff: 🚫💫

Positive trigger(s): crochet, anti spaces

Faceclaim: 

Name(s): Reymond

Nickname(s): Rey

Age(s): 19

Pronouns: he/him

Gender(s): bigender masc

Orientation(s): bi

TransID(s): transanti, transrqhater, transjerk, transasshole, transbitch, transwhore, transharmful, transprogrammer, transproship

Source(s): brainmade

Paras: shotacon, lolicon, fictophilia, zoophilia

Emoji signoff: 🚫🛳

Positive trigger(s): his paras, discourse over paras (especially his own)

Faceclaim: 

Name(s): Dimitri

Nickname(s): Demi

Age(s): 15

Pronouns: he/him, she/her, they/them, it/its, any weirdcore xenos

Gender(s): agender, weirdcoric

Orientation(s): open to anything but doesn’t want to call it pan, masc preferred

TransID(s): transanti, transrqhater, transtourettes, transgenderless, transbeing, transcreature, transbackrooms, transhunted, transparanoid

Source(s): brainmade

Paras: teratophilia, hybristophilia, misophilia

Emoji signoff: 🚫🚨

Positive trigger(s): backrooms, discourse surrounding content creators

Faceclaim:

[devilledeggz]

finally making a pinned post

hey my existence is proven, as i now have social media being a record of basically everything i decide to share with humanity on this hellsite :)

i now have to deal with the mortifying ordeal of being perceived by people i will never meet in my life :D

oh and i have a yt channel where i make playlists just don't expect me to upload anything there within the next few years or so. if you would like to see how bad my love for the paper chase has gotten, go check it out!!!!!

info about the blog (and me <3):

boundaries: i am a minor, so don't dm me and act like we're friends unless i actually know you beforehand. you can ask things and interact, i love that please do it <3, just don't act like you know me, or be parasocial, that's freaking weird.

pronouns: any (including neo or xenopronouns btw, idc) i'm probably agender but that's for another day.

things i like: - The Magnus Archives <3 - IHNMAIMS - House of Leaves - The Dolls of New Albion/Shaperaverse - CCCC/Chonny Jash - TSP/TSPUD - UCV (john doe game & house hunted) - RTC/legoland - UKSRT - Awful Hospital: Seriously The Worst Ever - STP (slay the princess) i am also the worst paper chase fan ever- i do post about fandoms but i'm not really in them much. i also make fanart sometimes but overall, i'm more of an oc person, this is the blog for art of my sillies <3

i also do not have an agenda for what i post here. i just do what i want and some people like it.

custom tags:

if you actually want to see my art check this tag!: #eggzzzart

if you want to hear my yapping check these tags: #musical mania - musicals bc why not #the local egg speaks into the void - thoughts but long #wanna know what goes on in the head of an eggz? - thoughts but short feel free to yap in my inbox if you have questions on any of these things. or just in general, i like when ppl interact with my stuff i thrive off attention- just don't be parasocial its weird-

don't forget to do your daily clicks by the way!!: [link]

[n3onstarss]

Some self-indulgent Rottmnt! Raph x reader because I'm bored and projecting and had a Moment™ earlier.

Reader is a pale fox, agender and transmasc btw, although not much of it comes up besides species.

'This is gonna be great!' I think to myself as I trek through the dark and damp sewers, purposefully ignoring the small puddles splashing around my boots and holding my bushy tail off the ground. 'I'm going to get to spend the night with my boyfriend, at my boyfriend's house, and meet his family! Shit did i wear the right outfit?' I ask myself as my paws pat down my shirt. 'I mean, it's a plain black turtleneck shirt and my fancy schmancy green jeans, you can't go wrong with that! And i made sure my earrings are the nice matching stud ones too!' My right paw moves once again to feel up long pointed ears, claws catching on the three metal studs on each side, while the other stays wrapped tight around the strap of my plain black duffel bag. 'Yeah, I'll be fine!'

'Did i put all my earrings in? what if one closes up during dinner or something or they're lopsided? did i remember to pack pyjamas that are decent? God please don't tell me I packed two shirts instead of a shirt and pants again. what if my mascara runs? or my eyeliner? fuck did i smudge it on the way down?' I glance over the side of my hand as i keep moving. Luckily i don't see any dark streaks in the pale tan fur. 'Oh okay nevermind. no black streaks, we're all good there at least.'

I barely have time to continue my spiraling train of thought before I reach where I was instructed to go. I pulled out my blocky red phone to shoot Raph a text to let him know I arrived. I couldn't see this supposed door and i didn't wanna just barge in either way.

Me: Hey, I'm outside! 💚

RedRover❤️: Oh okay!! I'll be right there love!

I started rocking back and forth on my heels while i waited the minute or two before the supposed door swung open. There, holding open the hidden, round, cement door stood my beloved partner. light poured out from behind the barrier and surrounded him in a halo of sorts. 'God, why does he always have to look ethereal?'

"Hey Red! you look nice as ever." a warm, fuzzy feeling couldn't be ignored at the compliment. seriously, how does he do this shit??

"Hello, also Red! you look stunning, love." i respond back without skipping a beat, making us both try to hold in peals of laughter at the matching names. It was almost stupid how easily it worked. they were our signature colors either way! What with his red bandana and the red markings in my fur, it wasn't a hard conclusion to come to.

As soon as we both collect ourselves, which takes a minute or two, he steps to the side to let me past. the sudden anxiety hits me worse then it did getting ready or even walking down here. I hold out my hand a little, a nonverbal ask to hold his hand, and he almost immediately scoops it into his larger one.

"Are you sure they'll like me..?" the words come out quiet, almost inaudible to even my ears, but he still catches them.

He squeezes my hand reassuringly. "they'll love you, Red. i just know it."

-----

He, infact, did not 'just know it'.

So far, everyone except the orange one, named Mikey, the spider yokai, Big Mama,.and the human girl, April, has a avoided making direct eye contact or speaking to me as much as they can. maybe it's first time awkwardness, maybe it's jitters, maybe they just don't like me.

The dinner table was just big enough to fit all of us, which was nice, and was laid out with bowls and plates. I'd offered to help set it earlier, but the blue one, Leo, had only shooed me away. tomato soup and grilled cheese was laid out, and now I feel like I dressed too fancy. God i look ridiculous, a blank spot in a sea of color.

Leo and the purple one, his twin Donnie, sat side by side as far away from me as possible, both their fathers and their mother seeming to follow suit. Raph sits to my left, April to my right and Mikey between her and Donnie. The other human, CJ or Casey, sat between Raph and Draxum. This left Big Mama sandwiched between Splinter and Draxum.

"Bone apple teeth!" Mikey calls, making everyone groan or giggle, before grabbing up the soup pot and ladle to pass around. I ultimately decide to try to wait until everyone else has gotten theirs so I'm not rude, but my plan is foiled when Raph notices my tenseness and scoops some into my bowl before reaching over me to pass to April.

Across the table i can see Leo lean towards his twin and whisper something. Both of them whisper heatedly for a few minutes and occasionally break eye contact to glare in my general direction, which only serves to make me want to shrink in on myself.

The urge to shrink in on myself only got stronger as dinner wore on, but luckily Mikey must've picked up on it. He kept up a slow and nice gentle conversation between the table, asking about everyone's day and basic info from me. Eventually everyone became wrapped up in their own seperated convos and left just me and Mikey talking, scooting and leaning back since April sat between us.

"So! what's your favorite color and why?"

"hmm.. green. It's very calming and it matches nicely with my fur, especially darker greens! very nature-y."

"OOOO! that's a good one! mines orange, obviously! it's a very warm, happy color and i love that!"

"Man you're reason is even better!" quiet giggling breaks out between us for a few seconds. "okay, okay! what's your favorite.. hobby?"

"oh definitely painting or baking! yours?"

"hard to choose really, either watching movies or listening to music."

"lame, man!" his words were harsh if his tone wasn't teasing.

as our conversation continued I could faintly make out remarks from the other side of the table over the other conversations. CJ, the other human, and Draxum, the other dad, were talking about school i think. Raph, Big Mama, and April were gossiping and arguing semantics. and the twins were whispering again.

Eventually Leo slammed his hands on the table and stood up. everyone had been done eating for a while now, but the sudden movement drew everyone's attention. The tense atmosphere was back, not as strong as earlier, but still there.

Without a word Leo gathered his and Donnie's dishes and left, presumably to clean up. everyone soon followed suit.

"I can get yours if you want." I offered to no one in particular, but Mikey, Raph and Splinter all took me up on the offer. As i made my way towards the kitchen hushed voices flowed out and immediately halted when I turned the corner. Glares followed me as i made my way to the sink, pointedly ignoring them, and rinsed the dishes quickly, ready to get out of their hair.

Instead, both turtles left and I decided to just finish the dishes to be polite. 'I wanna make a good impression so pleaseeeeee let this help.'

Turns out, the dishes didn't take very long and by the time I was heading back out it'd only been a few minutes.

By the time I was out there, movie night had been set up. Everyone was piled onto the floor to watch a Jupiter Jim movie and passing around a communal popcorn bowl, as Raph had told me earlier when we made the plans. Quickly and quietly i moved to sit next to Raph, snuggling my left side into his as everyone settled. About halfway into the movie Raph got a text and excused himself, as did Leo and Donnie. After a few minutes I decided to get up too, to get some water and refill the communal popcorn bowl, which was now reduced to unpopped kernels that CJ and Mikey kept eating. April snagged and handed me the bowl once i offered and I departed.

There was talking as i walked down the hall towards the kitchen, and i tried my best to ignore it so i wouldn't be rude.

unfortunately, my ears picked up a conversation i wasn't meant to hear.

"oh come on Raph! you brought a canine, a predator, into a house full of prey, and three other predators, and expect nothing bad to happen? what if theyre a villain? or lose it and return to their basic instincts? what then, huh?!"

'what is going on?'

"what? Leo, what do you mean basic instincts?"

"He means, dear Raphaella, returning to a predator mindset. seeing our family as either prey or competition. what do you expect us to do then?"

'oh..?'

"basic instincts dont affact anything, De-"

"Oh really?? explain that to your chirps and churrs and your savage episodes. explain that to Mikey hiding in his shell instinctively when threatened. Explain that to Donnie and I swimming often and our strange diets. WE have basic instincts too Raph, the only reason they don't affect our lives is because we aren't predators!"

'oh. okay.'

I stormed around the corner now, bowl still in hand and tears welling in my eyes. anger burning bright behind them. "You know what? fuck you! I've tried all. night! to prove I'm not some vicious fucking predator and you still accuse me of being one when I'm not even fucking there! I'm!- I'm.." the bowl slipped from my fingers, clanging loudly onto the floor.

horrified looks sat on everybody's faces in varying degrees. Donnie looked shocked I'd been there at all, Raph looked upset and pitying, and Leo.. he looked like i was about to murder him.

a small choked sob escaped me once i realized what I'd done. tears rolled down my face and effectively dragged my makeup with them. they didn't trust me, or love me or even like me. they see me as a monster. because of my stupid species. okay then, sure, fine. that's fine I'm fine everything is fine.

I began speed walking down the hall I'd came from, looking for a escape or place to hide. 'I'm such a fucking coward. running and hiding instead of letting them say anything. God this is pathetic, I'm letting my boyfriend fight my battles for me after i scared the shit out of his family because i just can't handle it. stupid stupid stupid.'

I hadn't realized I'd walked through the back of the silent living room, movie paused on the wall, or passed a frantic Mikey jogging down the hall towards the kitchen while absorbed in my thoughts, nor did I realize the yelling starting again and getting louder. all i could focus on was the "basic instinct" to get the fuck out of there.

Eventually, after a minute or two of twisting halls, I found a bathroom. perfect spot to hide, i guess.

I gently closed and locked the door behind me, not wanting to draw any more negative attention to myself. I flicked on the light, only to decide it was way too bright and turn it off in favor of the dim lamp on the counter.

The bathroom was a light green in color, with black and white checkered floors, which was nice i suppose. it didn't soothe my nerves but it provided a comforting atmosphere in a way. something that told me "its okay, let it all out" in its own little way. The bathtub was covered in a black curtain and looked inviting. I gently shifted the curtain aside as I started to hyperventilate, sitting myself in the tub. The quiet was soothing at first, but eventually it only made the bathroom into an echo chamber, making my thoughts bounce around my head in a quickening spiral.

It felt like an eternity before the knocking started. My sobbing only got worse, and louder in turn, which made the thing, person, call out. I couldn't process what was being said. I wanted to tell it to go away, to leave me in peace, but the words were stuck in my throat. my face was buried into my knees as i tightened my curl into upright fetal position, tears drenching my jeans knees worse then they already were. the knocking stopped as a few voices began talking outside followed by two sets of footsteps padding away. Light flooded the bathroom not long after and I shrunk in on myself further, curling my tail around myself to be as small as I could.

Footsteps echoed around the walls and the curtain was pulled aside as an unconscious growl built in my throat. When the voice started talking, my head snapped up, lips pulled up to bear my fangs and eyes wild. the thing, Orange one, jumped back in fear before backing, terrified, out of the room and closing the door. 'goddamnit this is only proving their point. i am a monster. i am i am i am i am i am.'

the same two words continued to float around my head until frantic, heavy running came down the hall and the door was thrown open again. My fur puffed up and my claws came out even more, only serving to make this feeling worse. My heartbeat was pounding in my ears and i couldn't hear anything else for a moment. Then the door was closed, something soft was sat down somewhere, and the light from the hall left, but the new thing didn't leave. the curtain was again pulled open, but much slower this time. 'I really fucked up and scared someone haven't I.. goddamnit! stupid stupid stupid stupid!'

the curtain finally revealed the figure. Tall and dark green with red patterns and fabric. I knew him, i felt safe with him. my fur didn't lay back, but the growing growl stopped and i could hear something other than my heartbeat again.

"hey hey.. easy there, you're okay, Red, Raph's gotcha.. you're fine.."

gentle hands wiggled under my arms and lifted me from my spot in the tub, holding me like a wet kit, before he stole my spot. I almost began growling again, how dare he steal my spot?, before i was placed slowly in his lap facing him.

A large, gentle hand began to smooth my fur, softly pushing it back down, as another hand cupped my face. His thumb moved to push away tears and smooth fur there too. My thoughts stopped their spiraling as i finally processed everything.

'This is, was, my boyfriend, sitting in his bathtub with me, trying to soothe me from.. whatever that whole ordeal was, and somehow not mad at me..'

As if he could hear the question in my head, he began to speak. "It's not your fault, Red. Nobody's mad at you, I'm not mad at you. And I'm not scared of you either, I can practically see you thinking it, and you've gotta know that I'm not scared of you. I don't think i ever will be scared of you a day in my life. what happened out there wasn't your fault, you're gonna be okay.. it's all gonna be okay.." as if my sobbing rubbed off on him, Raph started to tear up too.

I practically threw myself into his plastron, clinging tightly to him as the, now dry, sobs wracked my body. His hand that had been cupping my face was now gently sitting on the back of my head while that hand that'd been essentially petting me never stopped it's work. Our crying dyed down after what felt like forever, but neither of us dared to move for a while longer.

"a-are you gonna l-leave me?" i asked with a wobbly voice, still on the teetering edge of crying again.

"what? no! of course I'm not leaving you Red!" his voice was almost offended i asked, but somehow pitying too.

"b-but-" i wanted to argue that he should. I'm as dangerous as they claimed, I'll only hurt.

"uh-uh, no buts. I'm not leaving and that's final." i was pulled tighter into his plastron as the petting stopped. "i won't go unless you want me to, and even then I'll always be here for you. capishce?" the hold softened as he leaned back, trying to get a good look at my face.

".. capishce."

comfortable silence fell once again l, just until i could breathe right and stopped shaking, before he spoke again.

"Do you wanna get cleaned up and try again?"

"mm-mm", i hummed while shaking my head no against his chest.

"why not, Red?"

".. they hate me."

"oh Red.. they don't hate you-"

"yes they do! you heard what they said, you saw how- how scared Leo looked when I yelled!"

"they don't hate you Red. They don't. please, trust me. they don't hate you, we can try this again and get it right this time. if it doesn't work out then I won't force it, but i think you all might've just gotten off on the wrong foot."

".. okay"

i slowly worked to separate myself from him as he stood up, helping me up in the process. I squeezed my eyes closed and turned on the light. and when I reopened them holy shit it was bad.

eyeliner and mascara made black tear tracks through pale fur, most of my cheek fluff was laying flat and wet, my nose was running a little and when i glanced at Raph it only made me laugh a little. his plastron had a big wet spot right in the middle of it, complete with mascara smears.

Raph almost immediately brightened at my laughter and began laughing too. "gods we look stupid," i managed to get out between breathes, "so what's the plan, tiger?"

"whatever you wanna do, love. we can go to your place, or stay here or whatever."

"... can I get changed into pyjamas before we try again? please?"

Raph took a minute to jokingly inspect my outfit before agreeing. my knees were itchy from the tear soaked jeans and my shirt felt a lil too tight around my neck right now to be comfortable.

Somehow i hadn't realized the duffel Raph had brought with him and set on the toilet, maybe because he was standing infront of it but whatever. I walked behind him to the bag and got changed in the shower. the shorts and tank top were comfortable, but thank god i brought makeup wipes.

-----

The second meeting was much better, but not a perfect success. Donnie didn't mind me much anymore, but Leo still seemed to hate me a lil. That was fine, I could live with that, It was my fault.

Everyone was settled back in the living room, ready for a different movie. a vote was held and, after a lot of yelling, Piss in Boots; The Last Wish was chosen. Raph and I volunteered to go make new popcorn and dipped within the first 5 minutes.

It was not just popcorn. there were drinks for each person, and pop tarts for Donnie and Mikey, and fruit for Mikey, and applesauce for Leo, and chocolate for the humans, and dry ramen noodles for Splinter and Raph.

"You want anything specific, love?" Raph asked, his back to me as he leaned to reach the top of a cabinet while i dropped into a crouch to gather drinks from the cooler.

"I'm okay! thanks though!" I lied through my teeth, I'd done enough, i would be good anyways. I apparently got caught eyeing the ramen and fruit though.

"mhm.. sure." another ramen packet was added to the pile and another handful of fruit was thrown into the bowl.

the food was hauled back to the living room, and my skills from being a waiter set in. i had 2 drinks in each hand, caught between my fingers in a odd way, and two bowls balanced on each arm, one popcorn and one fruit. somehow nothing fell. I actually got a little applause out of Mikey and a laugh from somewhere in the room.

By the time everyone had their snacks we were, like, 20 mins into the movie. everyone was content and, after delivering the go go squeeze and a pepsi to Leo he even seemed to mellow out a bit. everyone was happy and fine, it would all be okay. especially if Raph would get the stupid mascara off his plastron. (whish he totally failed to do in the bathroom, by the way!) Mikey passed fruit around with the popcorn and, apparently, nobody ate it except Donnie, April and I, everyone else was too focused on the movie or their own snacks.

comfortable and safe, I leaned over to April and asked "psst, what'd we miss?"

"ohh okay! so, basically"..

[ambrosesystem]

⸝⸝ 𓂃 𝙎𝙔𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙈 𝙄𝙉𝙏𝙍𝙊 𝙋𝙊𝙎𝙏 .ᐟ

uh . damn how do we do this shit . ok so we're gonna just give like . basic info ? also this will be updated sometimes and stuff ! so ! take that as u will . also this isn't gonna include everyone . . .

⋮ haiii cough my name isss eliiii im a tmasc tboy trans im trnasgener male he/him prns ❗❗❗ im the host . methinks ? yea also im gay boys boykisser umm . sigh tag = #eli is rambling

⋮ name: kangel / ame . , fictive btw :3 any prns + neos that u think fit me are fine <3 ^ _ ^ oh btw im tfemmasc alsooo uhhh pan and gray ace? idkk... idc ^ 0 ^ myy tag is #internet angels blessings !

⋮ basil . fictive?? maybe?? . he/him . bi ???? idk . tag is #:basil

⋮ anahera ^ _ ^ prns?? uhh. . . it/she <3 also alterhuman . . aroace? i guess . tag is # - anahera .

⋮ fischl ! fictive she / it / any neos that may fit ace + biromantic tag is #; prinzessin talks .

⋮ HELOO!!!! my namee is aya! :3 im a bi tgirl nnnn my prns are she/it btww ^ _ ^ my taggg isssss #aya speaks!!!

⋮ saya. fictive. (saya no uta) it/she? tag = #-saya ^ _ ^

⋮ ei. not a fictive btw . i just think ei's design is pretty and i like her name transfemmasc / transmascfem . . any pronouns but he/she are preferred. dont care abt sexuality and stuff so i suppose unlabeled . tag is #ei speaks

⋮ aza! also alterhuman hehe :3 she/it trraaaannsssbiiaaannn tag is #-aza

⋮ meiiii is m namee im a trans bi(?) catgirlthing :33c she/mew #mei!!! is my taggg ^ _ ^

⋮ TRIXIEEE!!!! transmascfem xenogender thing.,, it/any neos u think fittt :3333 . . . . ummm tag is #trixie rambles

⋮ akari. she/it. alterhuman. aroace. genderrr..?? ????? #akari talks

⋮ tobias .. he/him uh. bi. tag is #-tobias

⋮ dezi!!! woohooo!! haii!!!! :3 alterhuman,, agender,, aroace!!! tagg isss #dezi bites u ^ _ ^

ok. thats . . it 4 now . BTW!!! if u don't want me (eli) to answer ur ask just like . tell me . like in the bottom of ur ask you can just put "(name)" or smth idk whatever u wanna do .

[multigenderswag]

I dropped my phone and the ask sent before I was done typing noooo! I didn't like the phrase "totally different perspectives" and was gonna delete that and I have so much more to say afsgdgdg

Cause I think we have a lot of similar experience of labels not fitting right. It's weird using strictly gendered terms when you don't have one or you have more than one! Tbh it's weird using strictly gendered anything in general in my eyes, let everyone do whatever with their presentation and life cause we're all humans and there's no real difference, regardless of genders or lack thereof. If the term gender anarchist isn't already being used to mean something else I'm gonna start using it.

I'm in a poly relationship with a man and a genderfluid person who's usually a woman (I love them both so fucking much btw they're the best) and I also have confusion with the flawed "non-men loving non-men" cause like. I am a non-man dating a non-man, but we're also both dating a man so it's weird. Like, it all boils down to the fact that I'm not a lesbian simply cause I don't like that label, it's not the right fit so I don't use it, but like, I still think about whether I "count as a lesbian" cause I call myself a dyke and say 'lesbian sex' and am I "allowed" to say that but also the latter's said more in a joking way anyway and last time I got called a dyke I yelled back "eh, only kinda" and who's even keeping score?

Ascribing to a gendered language with no gender means going "fuck it, I'm a chick and a guy but also I'm not a chick or a guy" cause words have no application, plus we're all unique

First ask: Hi I think you're really cool! I'm agender so it's really neat reading your posts cause we have the same viewpoints on things but from

Agender and multigender solidarity forever and ever!

[digital-roots]

*kicks down your door* ALRIGHT THE JIG IS UP. OLD MAN

Who are mio and charlie (ocs)

Officer theres no need for such drastic actions

Mio and charlie. Oh man

So abt 75% if my ocs are basically normal (?) ocs. But then the 25% are kind of....a bunch of sonas ive made the past few years. And usually theyll evolve into their own character, but theyll still just be me in a way.

Enter charlie and romeo (mio isnt romeos name, i just use that cause its confusing to use when my name is still romeo). My lore for them is that theyre siblings, in both a found family and a "wtf you mean we're somehow related" way. Not explaining the last one.

Romeo kinda represents the frenzied/energetic part of me as shes very lovey-dovey and loud and passionate. Its thing where i like to hc that her voice sounds exactly like raku chan from nyan neko sugar girls.

Charlie is kinda....an enigma? Reoresents the more morose and quiet part. Theyre really quiet and eerie. I think shes able to changes her voice drastically. Sometimes they sound normal other times they sound like theyre speaking morse code from their mouth. A big inspiration for her was nanno from girl from nowhere

Hes kinda romeos only support most of the time and is a big ol enabler for romeos more childish behavior. Very doting and motherly like sometimes.

One fun thing abt them is that Romeo is gender fluid/genderqueer and bi/pan (fluctuates) while charlie is agender and aroace. They both use any prns. It represents how my identity changes a lot and how im not always so sure what i really feel like.

Anyways heres a quick drawing of them. (romeo is the left one charlie is the right)

Theyre both supposed to have yellow eyes btw

More on them maybe in like 25 months lol

[aroaceconfessions]

Okay so this is the confession place for aroace people. Ummm so I may have done something to one of my parents. This was mostly unintentional. The parent was talking about crushes that the parent had when parent was younger. The crushes in question were of both girl and boy gender. Parent (to my knowledge) is hetero. I asked if parent was bi. Parent said parent had always liked both but was hetero. Uh sorry, I don't remember where I was going with this but um,,,,, This, I guess??? Currently also confused as to whether I'm actually aroace or just a very late bloomer. So I've never had a crush in my life and I don't really want one, but according to a parent (the very same one I talked about earlier) they're not something you can ask for or refuse. I also feel like crushes would just be a waste of time (for me, this doesn't necessarily apply to anyone else). I'm also a romantic according to the very same parent, but I still don't know what that means? Please tell me what it means. I mean, I love romances and close friendships in stories and cute romantic things, but just as long as I'm an outsider looking in. (Wow, that sounds really creepy haha. I don't actually mean it in a creepy way though!!) Sooo maybe I am aroace, maybe I'm not? Another thing, I got a few plants but for the life of me I absolutely cannot get them to stay alive :(. A bit sad about that. One of the other states of affairs in my strange life is the fact that my extended family on the other side of the world is bonkers! I feel like I'm watching a sitcom without the funny bits! I'm so glad I don't live near them! My little sister is also getting kind of weird around me :(. She has a best friend now who isn't me and they talk about everything (I could be wrong though). We're kind of growing apart and I don't like it :(((.

I also really want a cat.

Will I ever hit my rebellious teenager phase? I hope not. I love my parents and don't want to cause them any more anguish. They have a bunch to deal with already (including my bonkers extended family).

I'm kind of hungry now. maybe I should have lunch early?

Worried about college too. I need to take my SAT and apply and do a whole bunch of other stuff and I'm worried I won't be successful. I'm worried I'll fail my SAT, I'm worried I won't get into college, I'm worried I won't graduate college, I'm worried I won't find any jobs, I'm worried I won't be accepted by any jobs, I'm worried I'll hate my job, I'm worried I won't ever retire, I'm worried I'll fail life basically.

I'm also nonbinary (agender) and the same parent I've been talking about doesn't want me to come out publicly because parent says I'll "face many hardships and might get hurt/killed and I don't want that for my child". I mean, I get where parent is coming from, but dang, that's kind of a wild thing to say to a kid who has thousands of other things to worry about. Also I don't want to pretend I'm a girl for the rest of my life, that would suck so bad.

Oh another thing, racism sucks :(. I'm not white btw. When you get mad at brown people, you do not tell them to go back to their own country or some bull like that!! I mean I haven't experienced that yet, but both parents and sister have experienced things in that vein. I, however, have experienced so many little microaggressions (so has my sister D:<). For example when we go biking, one of the first things people ask us is "Are you from here?" or "Do you live near here?" I mean, come on! I know this is a mostly white neighborhood but you don't go around asking people those things! You never ask the white kids that! Don't pretend it's something you ask everyone! So rude!

Well I've been typing for about 20 minutes, maybe this is enough? No, I still have more to say.

I'm kind of tired of everything I deal with :(.

Also I hate what went down with Dobbs. The justices just yeeted our rights out the window, huh? Anyway reproductive rights should be protected on both the state and national levels.

More stuff,,, uhm,,,,,another confession... I am deeply uncomfy around republicans. They kinda just remind me of all the bad stuff.

Also I have no irl friends :(. (not counting my sister). Parent (yes, that one) says I'll make friends in college but I'm worried nobody will like me for who I am. When I was younger I had no problems being myself around other people, but now I just tailor my personality to fit other people because I want them to like me. I have no problems making 'friends' with people multiple times my own age, but making friends with people my own age is just difficult.

I'm also worried about the people I love dying because about 6 years ago, a close family member died. I also saw a post here that said you'd treat people better if you pretended everyone was going to die at midnight, and now sometimes I still can't shake the feeling that it might actually happen. I do try to be nice to everyone.

My sister says I'm too trusting of people, and I'm also too optimistic. Anxiety and optimism isn't the best combination haha.

My parents are nice, but they don't really understand all this stuff and everything I'm going through. For example, I told one of them I had anxiety and was believed! And then I told the other (yes, this is the parent who I've been griping about through the whole thing, the very same), but was told "no you don't have anxiety because other people get more worried than you". HGJK BVNKM SO FRUSTRATINGGG!!!

Also I'm half-convinced that parent (yes, that one) actually dislikes me?? :( The parent in question says parent wants what's best for me and stuff but I don't know...

Also the pandemic has taken a large toll on my mental health. Also the Roe v. Wade being killed thing. Also the midterm elections. Also climate change. Also capitalism. Also college stuff. Also being a human. I wish I was a jellyfish. Immortal jellies are really cool. Also Portuguese man-of-wars are cool. Also Sailor-by-the-seas. Jellyfish salad is pretty tasty though.

Sometimes I just wish the earth would swallow everyone else up and I'd be alone with the animals and Earth could start anew.

I wish life wasn't so complicated.

Also I got a therapist recently, she's helping a bit. She told me I have anxiety (not a surprise). She said I may also have ADHD too (also not a surprise).

Anyway, if you read the whole thing, have a nice day!!! Even if you didn't, you can have this ->❤<-

~ (:)Anon(:)