#we’re not sure if she’s done
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foster dog had her puppies :’)
#7 of them#so far at least#we’re not sure if she’s done#this isn’t tennis or olympics related but it’s fucking exciting#they’re so so small#and she’s so sweet#she decided to go out in the rain and crawl under the shed to start the birth#so the first four were born in the mud and my dad had to pull her out and carry her inside#puppies in a bucket#but it’s all good now#they’re comfy cozy in the baby pool#and she wasn’t aggressive at all about being pulled away from them at first so that was lucky#rambles
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okay but a version of events in which tommy takes ellie to the fireflies, but NEITHER of them come back. and maria joel have to work together to get them back
#maria and joel best friend agenda#has someone already done this (in a way that actually characterizes maria as an actual person w a plot lmfao)#pissed off maria and regretful af grumpy joel having to team up#joel at first being like i canNOT let you come with me youre pregnant#maria: and who the fuck are you to tell me what to do#joel: okay ur coming i guess#him doing anything and everything to make the trip as easy and safe as possible for her#runs on like four hours of sleep every night so she only has to take one watch and gives her 70% of their food#at first maria is sooooooo not having it like#sure you care about me and my baby who you asked your brother to LEAVE for yOUR SELFISH SHORTSIGHTED ASS#but then one night hes telling her a story about ellie and then she tells a story about kevin and he tells a story about sarah#and she can see how much he loves not just his late baby girl but his living one too#and in that moment she just kind of gets it#tommy told her this part of joel was long dead#the part that was soft and loving and good#but he was wrong#he was so wrong#and all maria needed was to see that for herself#and then they team up and break into davids camp and take care of business#tommy and ellie are probably there that makes sense#and then ellie is like we still have to finish this we’re going to the fireflies#maria: um haha ur funny no we’re not#ellie: i—#maria to tommy and joel: no we’re not everybody pack it up#we’re going HOME#joel and tommy: yes ma’am#maria miller#joel miller#au#i had a dream abt this last night couldnt at least do a tag story on it
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h-how do you ever finish any of your work? genuine question because you seem to be productive despite your agreste syndrome and I need to learn your ways. but also how do you ever finish any of your work
unclear. last night i stayed up and finished a report worth 25% of my grade at about 5am, arrived on time for my 9am lecture, and spent about half of it zoned out while thinking about seventeen year old emilie agreste. and i was one of the most active participants in the class discussion
#in some ways it IS the move to go to grad school right out of undergrad#because your body can still sort of operate like a college kid#i’m on about 3ish hours of sleep rn and this morning it felt SO over but now i’ve eaten something and we’re so back#i also don’t really do caffeine. except sometimes i’ll go get one of those panera death lemonades#i might be able to snag a short nap before work#but anyway about seventeen year old emilie. i was thinking abt how she was in that movie solitude and adrien said she was seventeen#WAIT. NO. HE SAID SHE WAS SEVENTEEN IN THAT PHOTO ON HIS DESKTOP NOT IN THE MOVIE#well. okay whatever i’m gonna tell you what i was thinking about anyway#OKAY i’m back i just checked the wikipedia page and then i watched the end of gorizilla. to make sure i’m not lying. because i’m normal.#anyway i was thinking about the solitude film and how it’s super rare and old and obscure and whatever. and how apparently#emilie wrote it herself and andre produced it#and i’m thinking about how gabe was discovered by audrey and that’s how he got his start in the fashion industry#so now i’m like?? did gabe and emilie first meet on the set of solitude? because gabe was designing costumes or whatever?#and that’s how audrey found him? have people already thought about this??#also i just checked and it doesn’t say emilie’s last name in the credits and also it’s ‘graham films’ with the twin rings logo m#so i’m assuming she’s still emilie graham de vanily at that point#anyway it comes back to seventeen year old emilie because i started imagining seventeen year old runaway emilie having her new life in pari#after escaping her british nobility life#and the first thing she does is write and star in an original movie. of course.#and she meets this repressed bisexual punk upstart costume designer who is so the opposite of everyone she’s ever known#and he’s immediately so unhealthily obsessed with her. which she appreciates.#and then they proceed to have the most toxic doomed evil relationship of all time#also she gets cheated because once gabe gets money he represses himself SO hard that he is now exactly like all the people emilie grew up w#but at least he’s still obsessed with her#this is what i was thinking about during class today. i don’t know how i get anything done either.#ml#anna rambles#asks
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btw if you have the no party limits mod on in the house of hope you Will aggro everyone as soon as you open the door to the hallway. only four of you get randomly selected for the debtors outfits & unlike with the gauntlet of shar’s body double section (where your extra party members can attack without getting the debuff since they aren’t technically ‘there’), it actually makes a difference.
ofc it didn’t matter because I had literally everyone it’s possible to recruit as a full party member with me so clearing the floor took all of ten minutes and didn’t actually affect the Raphael fight or the rescue, but it also meant I didn’t get the Harleep scenes since the became hostile too & I wasn’t able to use speak with dead after the fact either.
haven’t tested it yet but I think you can probably avoid this if you just split the party & explore on your own first while leaving everyone else in the entrance area with the dining table, or even just where you first load in. I was able to speak with the architect skeleton circling the dining table with no issues, but I’ll see if I can update this theory when I test it during a new game or someone else can reblog with results lmao
#bg3#bg3 act 3 spoilers#I guess???#anyway I was fine with this because I’d already done it once & I still vastly prefer having everyone out with me#personally I also haven’t experienced any crashes because of it either#my partners computer seems to dislike it when she’s got both minthara and halsin out to the point of crashing tho#we’re not sure why & have approximately the same loudout/number of mods#seldaryne.txt
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#I do this thing where I keep comparing myself and my life to other people my age who live like ‘normal lives’ where they live with just#their partner and work decent-ish paying jobs#and don’t live near family/have large family obligations#like I make slightly more than minimum wage#my health stuff had been getting worse#my fiancé is disabled/chronically ill and working her ass off so she doesn’t have excess energy#which leaves a lot of house work on me#which is fine and I don’t mind#and our household is me my fiancé my 23 yo sister and we’ve all lived together for like 3 years now and my sister makes a lot more money &#helps with house stuff#/maintenance#but my younger sister and her 9 month old moved in at the beginning of summer because her baby daddy is a scum bag#and she’s 20 and really mentally unwell#so a lot of baby care falls on me & my fiancé#along with trying to help my sister with her mental health#which is like not normal levels of unwell it’s like serious shit and she’s completely unmedicated and going through a real hard time and not#adjusting to motherhood well cause she was 19 and shouldn’t have had a baby#and like she knows that but what’s done is done#she can’t move back in with my parents because her relationship with them is too fucked#and like there’s also complicated stuff safety and bad ppl in her life so that’s a stress inducing factor#she’s unemployed and I’m not sure will ever be able to work and can’t drive#not her fault just the reality we live in#also we’re the ppl who live closest to my grandmother who’s health has been rapidly declining so a lot of that has fallen on my other sister#and me to manage#I also have to pet sit a lot because I need the money#and when I come home I have to spend all my time getting the house back in order#also I’m about to be losing a days worth of pay starting September cause the kids I nanny are doing two half days a week of prek#which means less money & with these grocery bills and two more mouths to feed is gonna fuck me in the ass#so like yeah I don’t have the time or energy for hobbies I spend all my damn free time trying to keep the house clean or taking care of#The baby & like it’s just the way it is but it’s not comprable to how all the ppl I knew in highschool r living rn
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now that my PI is like hey you should actually be sitting in the lab to write instead of doing it at home im shooting one million lasers at his head in my mind. fuck off
#exploding and killing even. WHO GIVE A WHOLE FUCKING SHIT MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!#ESPECIALLY since our AC is fucked up rn and my office is the only fucking one thats still hot#hes like oh you can work in [other girls] office shes out this week!!! like omg thank youuuuu thats a perfect setup for me 🥰🙏🏻#working in someone elses office doing work i can do exclusively at home because you think i should be in here even when you and nobody else#is. or you are but its not like we’re even seeing each other. awesome!!! 😁😁😁😁😁❣️#i dont know why hes doing this now. he literally hasnt given a shit before like he said verbatim when i joined the lab a YEAR AGO that he#doesnt need us to be in here all the time if we dont have anything in-person that we have to do. as long as we’re getting our work done.#AND I AM BITCH. SO WHY. THE FUCK. ARE YOU THROWING A LITTLE PISSY FIT ABOUT IT NOW. KILL YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#okay whatever. i really like him and hes a lot better than some other PIs that have their students coming like 8-5 even if they have nothing#to do. like literally to the point where theyre playing cards and watching movies and shit. so it could be worse#but i dont know why he is MAKING it worse. when we literally had a perfectly fine lab dynamic going on. WHATS YOUR DEAL!!!!!#ugh whatever. its probably just bc its summer and hes like why the hell am i in the lab if nobody else is!!!!!#well man sorry to say it but you have kids. so im sure if you need work done you have to come here. but i dont have shit so i CAN work from#home with no problem. okay whatever rant done im not even that upset im just annoyed as fuck and idgaf if he said we should be here usually#9-4 my ass is leaving at 2:30 today to grocery shop and go the fuck home so i can actually get work done KILLS PEOPLE
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Are we going to talk about the thinly veiled ableism towards high support needs autistic adults who frequent websites like deviantart for their hyperspecific non-fandomizable special interests, infrequent hygiene practices, “weird fetishes”, that are all clearly shaped by an experience with neurodiversity that is foreign to all y’all rebranded Asperger’s supremacists
#ven talks#autism#ableism#a lot of people on tumblr have no actual experience with high support needs folks and refuse to acknowledge your privilege#why did you all make a mean girls club for autism jesus christ#no I’m not saying that you are as privileged as allistics but it’s crabs in a bucket and y’all know that your experience is not the same#you were so concerned with breaking stereotypes and saying autism is a spectrum we’re not like ‘those’ people that you effectively alienate#the most vulnerable members of our community. check yourself because a lot of this anger towards allistic people who stereotype autism stem#from the repulsion you feel towards being associated with high support needs folks who do not mask do not have your social skills do not#feel safe or comfortable around you or in your social circles.#people you seem to not want in your social circle in the first place because you’d consider them unsightly gross annoying unintelligent etc#my cousins are high support needs and they would never feel safe on tumblr among you so called neurodiversity activists lol#ps the way everyone made a spectacle out of cwc regardless of what she did is abhorrent and disgusting and it happens all the time to peopl#who haven’t even ‘done’ anything other than exist as an autistic person online in ways that are unpalatable to larger subcultures#like I said before one of my oldest friends is high support and I’m sure one of the reasons why he almost never uses the internet is becaus#he was being harassed by kiwi farms types one of which has stayed obsessed with him for over a decade
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i’m losing it
#Guys. Guys.#i refuse to uhaul this relationship bc i Rly want it to work#but she is just. genuinely incredible#i am going to fall so hard my feelings for her are already so strong and so are hers :(#she’s genuinely everything i cdve ever wished for in a person & soon to be partner if all goes well and makes me feel so safe#i feel lucky as hell & every time we text or call or hang out together i feel so at peace#thank u universe bc how the hell did i stumble across this#also she went to my college so we wouldve crossed paths probably hundreds of times and never knew#now here we are nearly 5 years later and the timing of absolutely everything cd not be more perfect#it’s just wild. theres so many insane coincidences#and ill never get over her matching my energy shes just like me fr <- both mildly insane and obsessed w each other#we keep hallucinating each others perfume man 😭 im so done for#valentina talks#Sorry guys once we get over the honeymoon period ill probs talk less abt her (lying)#ive never been so sure abt anything like i am abt her and it’s so effortless and easy to be honest and we’re both whores for communication#like when i say the energy is matched it’s Matched. it feels so healing 😭#im obsessed but i also know its early days so im not saying it’s gonna remain this good but like. i feel weirdly confident in it. idk im#trusting my gut tbh. things only fuck up when i Dont trust my gut sdgsjfhs#my lover
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this Friday y’all this Friday I’m starting my scarecrow sleeve tattooo aaaa
#might post pics of it idk yet will ask my artist to make sure she’s okay with that#since it’s not likely to be done in one session so I don’t want to post a wip of hers essentially without checking#also I’m getting ?? a very spicy piercing in like 2 weeks 🤤#getting a triangle piercings feel free to google#it’s very exciting#and it’s one of our partners bdays??#we’re going to get to spoil xem so much it deserves to be spoilt#pj talking
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I haven’t looked in on the unfinished side of our basement in a while and… my dad’s hoarding has actually gotten significantly worse. And we just heard from my grandfather last night that he’s pretty sure my grandmother is going to pass soon. And when that happens, my father’s hoarding is absolutely not going to get better. So. That’s a lot. I brought it up to my mom and she told ME to research psychiatrists that specialize in hoarding. It’s a very eldest daughter kind of day.
#it will be a relief when my grandmother passes mostly because it has been causing my grandfather so much pain to care for her like this#she’s been in decline since 2016 and has been in basically a vegetative state for the past 2 years#so we’ve already made our peace with that and started that grieving process#but I am the most worried for my father#he’s been in therapy for a couple of years#but he still doesn’t have many coping skills#his binge eating has gotten worse his hoarding has gotten worse#so we’re absolutely headed for a breakdown if intervention doesn’t happen NOW#and my mother has kind of resigned herself to it happening which means it’s all on me to make sure it doesn’t#because apparently I’m the only one in this house that actually gained coping skills#‘your parents trauma isn’t your responsibility’ i can hear my therapist saying#but Ashley I still have to live in their house so if I want to stay sane while living here#it has to be somebody’s responsibility#and like many times in my family history: nobody else is willing to do it so if I don’t do it it won’t get done#thank you for coming to my ted talk#taking a friend to see a movie later because his mother just had emergency spinal surgery and can’t walk#and she’ll be in a rehab facility for over a month#*heavy sigh*#eldest daughter syndrome
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🙈
#personal#pretending i do not see all my final projects due thurs/fri of next week…#god i have no idea when im going to work on them. my lab partners for today were like let’s make sure we meet sunday through wednesday next#week! like?? girl no i don’t have time for that 😭 esp considering we’re basically Done w this final project#we need to add in a servo and some led pwm that’s literally it… meanwhile my final project for a different class is barely started at all#bc my lab partner has been gone for a solid three weeks due to medical issues And she has had the board for the last week so i haven’t been#able to do anything and she keeps scheduling work on the one day a week we can meet outside of lab like. GRRRHEWHAAAA#the engineering chronicles#and then there’s my short story essay and exam and all the physics hw sets i need to do and then review and ofc actual finals week after al#that etc etc… it never ends!!!!#the english chronicles#<- short story essay and exam are also a friday thing btw
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soooo i was right 🫠😐🫥 the Friend like likes me and it seems e v e r y o n e around me has known sINCE FEBRUARY
#SO 👏���� let’s just let it be known that i’m an Obviously Silly Clown so no one needs to tel me that ik already so i already told y’all how he#said he needed to Talk to me and i was planning on avoiding him but my friends said not to bc it’s not the Adult Thing To Do and he is my#friend and i care about him so it wouldn’t be nice so i didn’t me and my roommate went to dairy queen with him after i finished braiding her#hair so we were getting out the car to go get ready for bible study at church but then he’s all like ‘VK i need to talk to you can you pleas#stay?’ and i was like KAJDJDJFJFJJD NO but on the outside i was such a Normal Girl and was like sure :)) so we’re in the parking lot and i l#left the door open bc i didn’t want to feel claustrophobic but i lied 🤥 and said it was hot so he starts out all like sorry i made you anxio#us by prolonging this talk and i was like lol no it’s fine i was busy with exams and stuff and he just kinda gets quiet and he was like sooo#i like you and i’m like#🤔😃🫠😶🫥😧 processing#and then i was like ok elaborate and he’s like i have feelings for you so i’m SHOOK BC WOWIE ppl aren’t cowards like me cause i could never#and i say well thanks for telling me and i think you’re really brave for that but i’m sorry i don’t feel the same way but i still want to be#friends but if you need space then it’s fine as well and he’s like ya i didn’t expect anything from you i just didn’t want to regret not#saying anything so i was ABOUT TO CRY BC I HAD TO REJECT HIM BC I REALLY DONT HAVE THOSE FEELJNGS FOR HIM so i left and went home and my <3#almost exploded from my chest i was on the verge of a panic attack and i told my roommate and she was LAUGHING BC SHES SUSPECTED HES LIKED#ME SINCE FEBRUARY when he paid for my pizza and aPpArEnTlY hOw He LoOkS aT mE 🙄 WHATEVER#AND THEN I TOLD MY SECOND ROOMMATE AND SHES LIKE O YA IM NOT SURPRISED#so i’m just an oblivious silly goose who doesn’t USE HER BRAIN like kajdjdjhddjd and and now i’m thinking of the things i’ve done that made#him think i like him too like i baker him a pie for his birthday and i just feel silly and need advice if anyone has any but if not it’s fin#just an update on my life if you’re interested#vk overshares in the tags
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Coworker: so how are you going to compile all the tests?
Me: what do you mean?
Coworker: I mean like, do you have all the tests?
Me: sure, I know what tests we’ve done.
Coworker: and you’re going to put them on a list?
Me: yeah.
Coworker: nice, that’s what I thought.
Me: ??????
#personal#the context is#we’re supposed to be on the same level in the same team#working on the same stuff at the same rate#but she definitely does not#she cannot spearhead any creative problem-solving#which is 80% of the work we do#and even the gruntwork sometimes doesn’t get done in a timely manner#*I* did all these tests#I ran them and the manager asked for a centralized list#I was like sure in the chat#and cue this conversation four hours later#all my emotional labor is spent on my reactions to her fjbdjsndn#on one hand I’m so fucking mad on mad on mad cause she always does this#chime in at the very end of me handling everything with a ‘nice’#butting in for a little bit of the credit that she does not deserve#on the other hand I’m like be patient#she means no harm#and on a big ethical scale I am not interested in demanding labor from her#BUT IM SO FUCKING FRUSTRATED AND HATE EXPLAINING MYSELF ON SUCH A RUDIMENTARY LEVEL#literaly what else would compile mean#She’s only asking bc she has no idea what’s going on at ALL#and every time she asks she just reminds me how far behind she is#ugh anyways#work is exhausting enough as it is without her#actually it might be 50% her
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honestly fuck my family sometimes
#i love them but seriously they can be so fucking lazy and thoughtless.#how hard is it to get your own fucking mother a gift on christmas when she made you thanksgiving dinner and wrapped all YOUR gifts.#the only two gifts she has in her pile right now are from me and i won’t lie i’m pretty disgusted with my siblings rn#i’m sure my dad has something to give her but my brother and sister are just. i’m livid at them.#my sister isn’t capable of making an effort and my brother doesn’t even know what the word effort means.#when your mother has done as much for you as ours has you should get her a goddamn gift she’ll appreciate.#and i told her today i want to go shopping again to get her a couple other things she asked for but she says she doesn’t want anything#but what am i supposed to do when they’ve gotten her NOTHING#i’m taking my brother to the store later to buy her a large bag of her favorite licorice but she already knows we’re doing that#because she’s the one who told me to take him to the store to get her a large bag of her favorite licorice for a gift.#and that’s… just sad. he should be capable of thinking up and buying his own goddamn gift.#hell I’VE been keeping a list of gift ideas for my mom since june#i ALWAYS know what to get her by december#but not my siblings because they can’t be assed!#just… they can be such disappointments sometimes. they really can.
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Whenever I go to get my brows waxed/threaded, man, these ladies be acting like they don’t know what to do with my brows. My brows are naturally thick like really, REALLY thick, and the lady threaded a little off one brow and was like “I won’t cut more off because it wouldn’t fit your face because it’s much more rounder-“ then I looked into the mirror and was thinking to myself “um, I can barely see a difference 🫤,” and asked her to cut more off and I heard my sis from the back saying that “she wants her brows to look like they were actually done.”
#she was nice but i have to deal with stupid stuff like this everytime I go to get my brows done man it’s like ppl see a thick pair of brows#and forget how to wax/thread because I’m sure they probably aren’t used to working with brows like mines idk#rambling#also my sis and I didn’t get to make it to the wedding we’re gonna lie and tell our cousin that we missed our train 🤥#we were both just so tired man and it’s not like we had a ride#we were gonna try to get on a metra but my sis and I couldn’t sleep and she was like ‘I don’t feel like going anymore :(.’#another cousin that said he wasn’t going ended up going so that’s bogus because we could’ve rode with him 😑#our family doesn’t think about anybody man they know we don’t have cars and a way to get around like others#whenever I learn how to drive in the future I will not be giving anyone a ride outside of my siblings and mom and uncle and it’ll always be#for free obviously what I look like making my sister brother and momma pay me to drive them anywhere especially my mom id rather die
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work bestie and i just booked our trip for january!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#we’ve been talking about this for like. a year and a half#and she’s in law school now so the planning has been impossible lol#but woooooooooo! we pulled the trigger there’s no going back#(i am for sure trying very hard not to think about how i have no idea where i’ll be in january and what the hell thats gonna look like)#(but. good vibes only. good. vibes. only.)#anyway i say work bestie but we’re not coworkers anymore i just met her through work (only good thing this jobs done for me ever)#m
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