#no; we’re not sure where Alice got baby dragons (it was Rio)

[whotfelsewantedtobelynnyx]

Even More Agatha All Along Incorrect Quotes!

Rio, to Agatha: I’d jump in front of a gun for you <3

Agatha: And I’d move out of the way, so you’d just get shot like a fucking idiot.

Lilia: Oh, look, a hole. *promptly walks directly into the hole*

Jen: Why did you- *lifting her out of the hole by the arms* WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!

Agatha, clutching her seatbelt: YOU CRASHED THE TRUCK INTO THE GIGANTIC MONSTER?!

Teen: I THOUGHT IT WOULD KILL IT!!!

Agatha, slumping over in her seat: You are INCREDIBLY stupid.

Jen, texting Alice: I literally want to cry right now.

Alice: Uh…quick,look at these baby dragons guarding the houseplants.

Jen: …

Alice: They’re doing a very good job?

Jen: That actually does help, thank you.

Rio: You ever think about how many songs are secretly about sex?

Alice: Wha- no, but now I am.

Agatha: What’s it called when you commit arson on a person?

Alice: …murder?

Agatha: Wha- no, that’s not murder!

Alice: Yes, it is!

Agatha: Okay, but when you set yourself on fire, it’s called self-immolation.

Alice, sighing: I guess.

Agatha: So immolation is when someone is set on fire.

Alice: Yes.

Agatha: So setting someone else on fire-

Alice: Murder.

Agatha: But if they don’t die-

Alice: Attempted murder.

Agatha: But if you argue that you didn’t MEAN to kill them-

Alice, covering her head with a pillow: Fine, aggravated assault! Now leave me alone!

Sharon: I got peer pressured into getting into a trunk the other day. They were like “Do you wanna see what it’s like to be kidnapped?” And I was like “okay!”

Rio, in a dreamy voice: Maybe we’ll be branded as suspected sapphic serial killers, where true crime podcasts will speculate on the true nature of our relationship for decades to come.

Agatha, COMPLETELY drunk: If you’re coming in to judge me, don’t bother. God and my mother have it covered.

Agatha, in the middle of a struggle with Rio: You know what I would rather have in me than this knife? That di-

Billy: What does ‘no te preocupes’ mean?

Rio: Don’t worry about it.

Billy: But I wanna know :(

*watching a horror movie together*

Jen, leaning against Lilia: Maybe it’s just because it’s been a second since I’ve been a kid, but I feel like the kids in this movie have a LOT LESS common sense than I did when I was younger. Like I might have believed in some weird shit, but I knew better than to get closer to the clown under the bleachers, even if he said he could grant me a magic wish.

Alice, curled up on the floor between them: *shudders* I don't know how she wasn't screaming her lungs out.

Lilia, absently petting her hair: Well, is this before or after it bites her face off?

Jen: What? Alice, burying her face in Lilia's skirt: Ew.