#we’re all so insane and i love that for us
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ᴄᴀꜱᴛɪɴɢ ᴄᴏᴜᴄʜ
ᴄᴏʀʀᴜᴘᴛɪᴏɴ/ᴄʀᴇᴀᴍᴘɪᴇ ➠ ꜱᴀɴ
pairing: frat boy! san x fem! reader feat. yungi
genre: frat au, smut
summary: san and his boys are more than grateful when you help them with their newest ‘feature film.’
w.c: 3k
warnings: they’re making porn okay, nasty mean dom! san, subby aloof! reader, san knowingly takes advantage of reader’s romantic feelings for him…. (bro’s the king of douchebags), manipulation/corruption, brief implied mxm bc i love fruity frat boys <3, praise/false praise, name calling/degradation, major voyeurism/exhibitionism kink, mind break ig?, double penetration in one hole, oral (giving), brief hair pulling, throat-fucking, tit fucking, facial, rough sex, bulge kink, breeding kink, dacryphilia, gang bang !!, it’s all unprotected btw, multiple orgasms, creampies <33
a/n: this is so fucking insane you guys….like idk why frat aus have me in such a chokehold but here we are🧍🏻♀️also this is totally random (and essential) info but san’s signature frat party look would be a ‘don’t hate me it turns me on’ shirt and a backwards red cap hwjhw anyways happy reading~ and please lemme know if you liked it uwu
p.s: we’re at 6.5k followers HELLO???? that’s insane 🫣 thank you so very much!!!
song rec: i like the way you kiss me - artemas (✨ male manipulation: the song ✨)
ᴘʀᴇᴠ | ꜰꜰꜰ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ | ɴᴇxᴛ
“Smile for the camera, pretty girl,” San, the frat boy you’ve been in love with for ages, encouraged you from behind the lens of the camcorder he was holding, his smooth baritone voice like saccharine, artificial, yet sweet enough to keep you coming back for another taste. It was when you offered him a small, shy smile through the camera lense, despite the shamelessness of your current position, that he knew he had struck gold.
San was filming one of the first of many future encounters you would be having on the expansive black leather couch inside their crowded frat den. You were stuffed to the absolute brim by two of his closest colleagues, Yunho and Mingi, who always refused to participate unless they were working together as a duo.
“Stop looking at me like that, dude,” Mingi huffed up at Yunho from below the both of you, his shoulders and back routinely getting stuck to the couch with sweat.
“Like what?” Yunho scoffed back, leaning further down onto your body to get closer to Mingi, essentially folding you in half, his hands closing around your ankles.
“Like you wanna kiss me. You’re gonna make me soft.” Mingi grimaced, pushing Yunho’s hands out of the way to hold onto your ankles instead, driving himself into you like a well oiled machine. He was throbbing nonstop, but there was absolutely no proof that it was because of his friend’s heavy cock rubbing along his inside the cunt they were sharing.
You could feel Yunho’s breath hit your shoulder when he laughed. “Skill issue,” Yunho simply replied, delighted when Mingi bucked up into you even harder, encouraging him to do the same.
Clearly, there was something vaguely homoerotic going on there, but it wasn’t San’s business, and he definitely had better things to focus on — you, his newest pupil. He watched you with dollar signs in his bright brown eyes and the taste of cheap vodka on his tongue, unable to keep himself from licking repeatedly at his chapped lips, especially now that the innocent classmate he had recently taken a liking to had no problem taking two cocks at once inside her puffy, used cunt, while he, his bros, and his trusty camcorder had a front row seat to her mutually beneficial destruction.
“Look at you, so flexible…Are you sure you haven’t done this before, Y/N?” San teased, lowering the camera down until his sharp feline eyes were visible.
“N-no, I swear!” you squeaked out, the growing embarrassment you felt only spurring all of this newfound pleasure you were drunk on. “Just wanna, nnngh–be good for you…”
“Oh, that’s right. Silly me. You’re being a very good girl right now, baby, Don’t worry.” San couldn’t help but smile at the way you seemed to melt in front of him. It was just too easy. He glanced down at the camera, zooming in and capturing the moment his friends filled you up with their hot loads, the bliss evident on your fucked-out face. “That’s it, baby. Are you happy you stuck around here with us instead of going back to your dorm to do homework? Taking cock is much more fun, isn’t it, beautiful?”
“So much more fun,” you sighed out, your pupils blown out just from looking at his devastatingly handsome face. It was then that you pouted. You were only here because you were in love with San, and yet, it wasn’t even his dick inside you. It wasn’t fair. “But, I’d have even more fun with you, Sannie~”
“Is that so…?” San offered a brief shit-eating smirk to one of his boys nearby, reaching down to grab at himself through his sweatpants, like he was weighing it. “It’s right here, baby. Why don’t you show us what that pretty mouth can do?”
Both Mingi and Yunho slowed down their thrusts, but didn’t completely pull out, choosing to leisurely fuck their cum back into you, as they fought to catch their breath.
“What a loser, cumming first like that,” Mingi insulted Yunho, licking at the saliva left on his lips.
“Your mom doesn’t have a problem with it,” Yunho chided back, reaching down past your body to smack his hand into the side of Mingi’s ass.
“Goddamn it, you guys, I’m gonna have to edit that gay shit out.” San brought a hand up to scratch at his head in frustration. “You know what, both of you, get out of my shot and sword fight somewhere else. I’m not doing this right now,” San grumbled, shooing the two panting men away from the couch they had just made a mess on.
“Bro acts like we don’t know about his late night tutoring sessions with Wooyoung,” Yunho whispered to Mingi, trying to stifle his laughter.
Mingi almost choked on his breath. “Don’t forget, Yeosang. San doesn’t even take physics anymore, either. Yet, he still visits that nerd every Friday like clockwork.”
“Dude, aren’t they roommates?” Yunho cupped his hand around the side of his mouth, still using a hushed tone, “Do you think they run a train on–”
“Hey! Don’t make me haze the two of you again just for fun…” San warned from the center of the room, glaring daggers at the two men who went quiet almost immediately. His annoyance abruptly melted away once you gingerly reached up to pull his sweatpants down until the frat emblem that was stitched into the thigh pocket was no longer visible. It was when San smacked his heavy length down onto your face, that you let out a pornstar worthy moan. Cha-ching. “Oh, you like that? Hm? Want my cock?”
“Mm-hmm…” San’s cock slapped down onto your face a second time. You quickly squeezed your thighs together to keep yourself from cumming right then and there, biting back a moan all the while. You wondered if it was obvious how truly desperate you were for the man standing above. Fuck it. You were already here, so you might as well get what you came for. “Please, give it to me, Sannie, f-fuck my mouth.”
San could not believe his luck. His loyal fanbase would absolutely have a field day with this as soon as he uploaded it. He could already see the cash flowing in, and it made him rock hard. He sighed happily to himself, running his fingers through your hair, carefully tucking a few strands behind your ear. “It’s really true what they say…the shy ones are always the most slutty.”
*“I’m not a slut, I just–” you cut yourself off, not wanting to confess to San right before you were about to suck him off in front of his fraternity and whichever degenerate that would be watching it back later on. You pouted again, looking up at him with wide, sparkly eyes. “I want to be useful to you, like a doll~”
“Did you hear that, everyone? Y/N here is a real life doll. Let’s treat her as such,” San reminded his friends and housemates who couldn’t help but hover around the couch, a few of them sharing knowing smiles with one another.
Your heart began to thump away inside your chest, unable to believe that your long-time crush was giving you so much of his attention and affection. It was like a dream come true. As soon as your lips parted to take in a shaky breath, San tightened his grip around your hair, yanking you forward and stuffing your mouth full of cock. “Mmnnf…!”
Clutching the camera with one hand and the makeshift ponytail he created near the back of your head, San began thrusting sloppily into your open mouth, groaning at the slick sensation of your throat routinely closing around his moving cockhead. “Come on, doll, let me in, yeah? So Sannie can fuck your throat raw.”
San wasn’t lying. With each wet, rough thrust, he got closer and closer to doing what he promised you. “Mmmn…nnn…” You couldn’t tell if the tears pricking at the corners of your eyes were the result of San’s dizzying performance or the burning arousal you felt stirring inside your core simply from being watched by a room full of men you didn’t know.
“Aww, crying already, princess? I’ll give you something to really cry about when I’m breeding that pretty cunt of yours,” San chuckled darkly, his strong hips snapping relentlessly, his pace only beginning to falter once he saw escaping drool mixed with his pre-cum dripping down past your chin and down in between your tits. You were becoming a mess. It was going to make the frat leader bust any second. The borderline obsessive look you had inside your teary eyes didn’t help either. “Fuck, oh god– Somebody take the goddamn camera!”
The youngest of the group fumbled to grab the camera, using his jacket sleeve to rub the fingerprints off of the lens, before lifting it up, capturing the exact moment San pulled out of your mouth with a loud ‘pop’ and slid his cock along in between your glistening tits.
San turned to face the camera for a second, dimples flashing, squishing your tits in between his thick fingers as he fucked them. “See, you guys? This is how you use a doll to her maximum potential,” he explained as though he were a professor on campus. “Just look at her face. She loves it.”
Instead of trying to focus on the camera, you gazed directly up at him, your cheeks warm to the touch, still love-struck, even when San’s load landed all over your face. You simply licked away what had landed on your lips, sucking the rest off the frat leader’s fingers once he so lovingly fed it to you.
San nodded his head in approval, patting yours in an effort to reward you for your hard work. “That’s a good girl…” He tilted his head to the side. “Let’s see what else our pretty doll can do. Sound good?”
“Really good,” you chimed, licking at your swollen lips, savoring San’s essence.
Wedding bells were ringing in the distance. You would do anything for San, and that meant letting him treat you like a sex doll and fuck you in any position he saw fit for the next hour. By the time your knees gave out from cumming for the nth time, San had you in a full nelson in the middle of the couch, positioned behind you with his arms locked around your upper half, making sure your used, feverish body was on complete display.
“Sannie…gonna…cum…again,” you breathed out in between a few heavy moans, your head feeling so heavy that you just let it hang for a second.
San repositioned himself so that he could clutch your chin, tilting it upwards. His free hand snaked around your waist, laying his palm flat on your tummy, suddenly driving his cock up into you so hard, you couldn’t even speak if you wanted to. “Hey, be a good slut and let them see what you look like when you’re cumming your brains out.”
You simply looked up at the blurry camera past your teary lashes, letting out a choked gasp once you barreled over the edge of ecstasy. You didn’t have a chance to recover from the overwhelming pleasure, especially not when San pressed his hand down firmly onto the bulge his cock was routinely making inside your stomach. “P-please..! Sannie..!”
You want another load? Fuck, baby.” Groaning, San took a second to lick one of the tears that was rolling along your cheek before it dropped, his hips slamming against yours so quick, you were already developing bruises, ones that would accompany the bright red love bites scattered across your slick skin. He pressed his lips directly to your ear, nibbling on your earlobe. “You know, seeing you in class and on campus, I never would’ve pegged you as a cumslut, but everyone enjoys a good surprise every now and then…don’t they?”
“Yes–yes, yes, yes,” you chanted back, too cockdrunk to even fully process what San was saying, just focused on how full you felt, and how you needed more.
“Good, because I got a surprise for you too.” Grunting loudly, San lowered his hips and slammed them up into you one last time, holding your trembling body still, painting your pulsing walls white. “Now, say ‘thank you, Sannie.’”
“Thank you, Sannie.” You leaned your head back to nuzzle the side of his cheek, placing your hands over his, feeling him rubbing your lower stomach in small circles, his cock still fully sheathed inside you.
“Anytime, sugar.” San gave your hair a few strokes as a reward, before pulling out and climbing off of the couch. He took the camera back from the new guy and snapped his fingers at a few of the bricked up housemates standing nearby, pointing in your direction. “Now, show me what you’re really made of.” San gave you a charming, dimpled smile. “Make me proud, okay?”
As a few half naked strangers surrounded you on all sides of the couch, some of them reaching out to grope your warm body, you returned San’s smile, your heart skipping a beat or two. “I’ll give it my best just for you~”
Throughout the night, San, alongside his fraternity, conditioned you with care, meticulously molded you into a star, one they eagerly passed around, easily making your tape one of the longest in their exclusive film collection. It wasn’t difficult, by any means. You were, of course, the perfect specimen: passive, pliant, and poisoned by the oxytocin that turned your brain into mush.
Even when you were being used by more men than you could count, you couldn’t keep your attention off of Sannie, his handsome face only growing blurry when someone would make you gag on their cock, as you didn’t have the most experience with men of their size. You wanted San to yourself again, desperately wishing you could reach out for him instead of another stranger’s twitching erection — but you endured it all, falling further into the rabbit hole of pleasure for the sake of your whirlwind infatuation.
Everyone in the frat house deeply appreciated your dedication to their amateur film, especially San, who, by the end of it, secured the perfect spot to capture the finality of your desecration. Two of his older friends had just finished inside you, their spent cocks slipping out of your used hole and revealing the beautiful mess they left.
Crouched down in front of the couch, San reached out past the camcorder to spread your puffy lips apart, each and every load you took over the past hour now slowly spilling out onto his veined hand. “Look at this pretty cunt, you guys…so full of cum, it won’t stop coming out…” He panned up to your face with the camera, giving you a wicked smile from behind it. “You’ll be pregnant in no time, won’t you, doll? With whose baby, I wonder…”
After all that, you somehow managed to act shy, covering your flushed face, giving San heart eyes past your trembling fingers. “Hopefully yours…”
“Oh, princess.” San gently rubbed his fingers over your reddened cunt and clit, cum still dribbling out of you all the while. “I don’t think you realize how cute you’re being right now~ Almost like you didn’t just slut yourself out for everyone to see, huh? Mm, do you feel cute, Y/N?” San asked in a babying tone, as he slowly stood up and towered over you.
“You make me feel cute…” You nuzzled your cheek into the palm of San’s warm hand once he offered it to you, hoping you secured a spot inside his heart after all the hard work you put in. “I would keep going for you if I could still feel my legs.”
“Aww, there’s always next time, isn’t there?” he suggested slyly, rubbing away some leftover cum from your cheek before caressing the side of your face. “Do you have anything to say to our loyal fanbase, baby?”
“I love cock, especially yours, Sannie,” you slurred lovingly up at San, through the camera lens, licking your lips, mouth watering at the thought of being invited again to film another movie. “So give me a call, okay?”
“Oh, I will, believe me.” A smug laugh erupted from San’s puffed-out chest, as he aimed the camera at his pretty boy face for a second to announce, “We’ve officially turned another good girl into a filthy cumslut. If you’d like to watch the transformation happen in real time, feel free to stop by our frat. For extra, we’ll let you have a go.” And with that, he shut the camcorder off and pushed it into the youngest member’s chest, who looked at him with wide eyes. “Fuck it, we might even give you a turn.”
The freshman choked on his spit. “R-really?”
“I’m feeling nice today.” San sighed, running his fingers through his gelled up hair to fix it. When the young man just stood there drooling, the frat leader grimaced. “Upload this to all our sites ASAP, and don’t forget about our twitter page this time,” he demanded, rolling his eyes when he saw the cum stains the embarrassed student left behind on his pants. “And, for fuck’s sake, will you take care of that?”
As another member brought a can of beer over to San, the frat leader took it and cracked it open. “Can you believe that guy? He’s been here for, what, a month now? And he’s still creaming his pants like a virgin? Unbelievable.”
As you gingerly put your clothes back on, you watched San move around the frat to dab up his friends and clink their beer cans together in celebration of another successful shoot. You couldn’t help but let out a long, lovesick sigh. He would be yours one day. Until then, you would take what you could get, and of course, become a star.
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© kitten4sannie, 2024.
#ateez#ateez smut#choi san#san smut#ateez x reader#san x reader#ateez fanfic#ateez fic#ateez imagines#kpop smut
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asking for trouble
a 'partners in crime' installment - luke castellan x dionysus!reader words: 7.8k prev -> when the curtains close | next -> as above so below summary: (post-TLT, compliant to TLO) The one where Luke's final wish is to see you. (He's himself again, and all he wants is to find out if the trouble was worth it all) a/n: non-descriptive mentions of blood and war, main character death. angst. a boyfriend that yall may or may not agree with. one chapter left after this!! i imagined the last scene to play out with luke in a room where they have the immersive exhibits at a museum
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[august 15th; camp half-blood kitchens, long island, new york — 9:49 pm]
Everything begins and ends with love if we are fortunate enough.
There’s a stillness that fills the air the night before what historians and future demigods alike will deem the Battle of Manhattan. It’s stifling—suffocating in the silence of the camp kitchens as you cover a sheet cake with blue frosting, piping the edges with a steady hand as you check the clock, time always ticking over your shoulder.
Almost lights out.
The circumstances are different now though, and surely no one will be able to sleep tonight. Fate is hard at work unraveling the future, the gods and their spawn alike are preparing for war, yet you’re here putting sprinkles on Percy Jackson’s birthday cake.
It’s the most nonsensical thing you’ve done all week amidst the war preparations, taming the whirlwind of mixed emotions that shook camp in the days before. Perhaps it comes with the knowing that everything will change, and the only way out is through. Only the lucky ones get to go home after this.
“Are you really not coming with us tomorrow?”
Clarisse chuckles at your question from her position against the doorway, crossing her arms and watching you stick candles on the top of the sweet dessert. Her hands flex over her sleeves, tugging at the fabric like she needs to hide away from the rest of the world, “You make it sound like it’s a walk in the park instead of what it really is.”
“Is that why then?” You look up from your piping bag raising an eyebrow at her, “We need all the help we can get, Risse.”
“It’s a death wish. I don’t know how you do it grandma, but the world will keep spinning no matter if 5 shows up or not,” Clarisse mutters, rolling the words around in her mouth, “How do you do it? Knowing that he’ll be there…I-I don’t want Chris to put himself through that again. We’re going to lose anyway—something, if not everything.”
You know that too.
There’s something ironic about how the children of war won’t be joining the fight of their lives, but Clarisse La Rue is as stubborn as a mule when she doesn’t get her way. Only something truly special would send her running to the battlefield at this point.
“A part of me feels obligated to be there and help fix it, Risse. This is the path I chose.”
She scoffs, her sneakers knocking against the side of the kitchen island. The daughter of Ares is wistful, hesitant… and nothing like herself tonight. You suppose conflict shapes someone like her like how insanity lines the essence of your being. Intangible, but the base of every choice—the driving reason connecting you to your godrents.
“Yeah, I know that, but I still don’t get it. You don’t have to be here anymore,” she says thoughtfully, moving the cylinders of sprinkles around on the counter by height order, then by colors of the rainbow, “you could’ve chosen the easy life without all of this…I mean, if I ever got out of here alive, I wouldn’t look back.” The statement is sharp in the silence as if she’d attacked you with Maimer. Your eyes meet hers as if there’s a big secret she’s missing out on. You always look at them like that now, with a faraway gaze of a place none of them can reach.
“Who’s to say? Getting old and aging out of here is harder than you think, you know… College, rent, taxes…” you list off with every squeeze of the piping bag, spelling out Percy’s name with white frosting. Clarisse bites her lip, resting her chin against the palm of her hand as she watches you. When she closes her eyes at night, she often dreams of being home in Arizona, dry heat prickling at her cheeks and dust swirling at her ankles. That’s what her future will look like, she thinks—-and she’ll let herself be selfish if it means she gets what she wants. What do you dream of? Do you think about a future for yourself if you’re so worried about saving everyone else’s?
“But you still came back. Is this easier than that?”
Not easier, but familiar. Nothing you ever want comes easy after all. There is a comfort in walking the grounds of a camp counselor job you used to dread instead of filling out job applications; easier to you means fighting with the gods and slaying creatures of old instead of paying student loans and making rent.
“I think you’ll find out that you do stupid things for love, Clarisse La Rue.”
She’ll never tell you this, but you’re the strongest person she knows. You’ve shown her that strength doesn’t always mean brain or brawn. Sometimes strength is loving someone without expecting anything in return, and the gnawing feeling in her stomach eats at her in an unsatisfying way—like Tantalus reaching for the grapevine, fingertips grazing the leaves for eternity. Instead, Clarisse wipes down the counter with a Clorox wipe as you make your way towards the door, cake in hand. Tonight, she and her siblings will sleep with the knowledge that they’ll get to see another day. Call her selfish, sure—but that’s how she loves them. Alive.
“I still stand ten toes behind the fact that Michael Yew can be knocked down a fucking peg,” she mutters. There’s a small smile on her face and when she looks up at you, she sees your face is illuminated by moonlight. Clarisse hopes this won’t be the last time—silently praying to her father to extend his hand onto you.
“I’ll see you when I see you, La Rue.”
Whenever that is, she thinks. This is easier than a goodbye. What matters is showing up. What matters is that they try. That’s what she reminds herself as she turns off the big light and heads toward Cabin 5.
Does any of that still matter in the end if they aren’t alive?
Her siblings are already asleep when she tucks herself into bed despite the music and laughter coming from 12. Light from across the way filters through her window, a warm glow cast across her face leaking through even when she shuts her eyes. It warms her, reminds her of the orange of the stupid shirts they wear, sunsets on Fireworks Beach, and the molten lava that drips down the climbing wall.
Home might not be what she remembered it to be after all these years. Clarisse decides to sleep on it, hoping that when they wake, there’ll be something worth fighting for.
[august 15th; cabin 12, long island, new york — 10:08pm]
Camp Half-Blood is quiet as you walk through the dark forest, minding your step over the brambles and checking off your mental list of responsibilities before day breaks. The air is especially cool for a summer night, melancholy being your only jacket as you move on auto-pilot. Your fingers tighten around the tray you hold, pushing the door open to Cabin 12 which currently houses most of your campers. It’s lively and bright in here—you would think they’re all celebrating a Capture the Flag win instead of being sent off to their deaths for the greater good.
Tomorrow, they’ll wake up soldiers.
The wood creaks beneath your boots and it’s drowned out by the sound of soft chattering and laughter, a few of them still scuffling over sleep spots, and then—”HAPPY BIRTHDAY PERCY!”
There are only enough people in here to comfortably fit in a few of the strawberry trucks tomorrow—some went home to their parents to avoid the chaos and some chose not to fight at all. And the ones that remain— all 40 of them, that is, are spread out on the floor in sleeping bags writhing like worms. All the whooping and cheering is accompanied by Michael leading his siblings in song (and Connor and Travis ruining it by chanting CHA CHA CHA!).
Percy is just shy of sixteen now, but the sheen in his blue eyes still reflects the tranquility of open water and something tender that you saw in him when he came to camp at twelve years old. Later, through mouthfuls of cake and smears of blue buttercream on his cheek, the son of Poseidon looks up at you thoughtfully, “Is this a pity cake?” He tries to make light of the situation by acting like the fate of the world doesn’t depend on his life or death, and you take a deep breath.
Even demigods fall victim to fate, and the gods still push on. But what of their children that fight for change in the world they set the rules for; their children that fight their battles for them and lose their lives for immortal beings that live forever?
“This is a birthday party, not a pity party, Percy Jackson. There's no pity for the damned,” you chuckle. Damned if we do, damned if we don’t. All of the world’s problems seem so permanent when you’re 15 years old. It’s just fucked up that hiswill actually alter the course of humanity.
“And if this is the end of the world, I just wanted to make sure we’ve told you happy birthday first.”
“Well thanks,” Percy mumbles over a spoonful of buttercream, face reddening when Annie throws a paper towel roll at his face, “Hey!” It reminds you a lot of when you and Luke would fight in the dining pavilion, chicken tenders and mac n’ cheese flying through the air, and apples cut just the way you like. You blink.
It all boils down to him or Luke.
“Wipe your face, Seaweed Brain!”
Percy rolls his eyes, smiling down at his plate regardless of the weight he carries upon his shoulders. The more you want to live the more you have to lose, you think as you brush your knuckles against a spot of frosting he missed. You don’t look at the blonde boy and see a hero of the Great Prophecy—still, you see him as the little boy who was mesmerized by you conjuring strawberries on his plate on his first day at camp, innocent and honest.
Looking around the room wistfully at that thought, you start to see the memories of their childhood blanket all of themlike ill-fitting clothes; it’s all you can notice. The feeling is so big it swallows you whole. Annabeth is still the little girl who’d rattle off obscure facts from Snapple bottle caps from her time on the road, drawing pictures of buildings with your eyeliner after sneaking into your room. Silena still makes blush out of berry juice and would call you about boy problems as if she’s not a child of the goddess of love herself. Will is still the boy who sings as he lights up fireflies and draws smiley faces on bandages. Katie, the girl who makes flower crowns for your birthday and eats strawberries with you soaked in morning dew. You look around and see scraped knees that you’ve kissed better, sleepy eyes you’ve sung to, and hearts you’ve kept warm—this is your glory, your greatest achievement being the family you’ve found in the woods of the Long Island Sound.
“You see it too?” Grover mumbles, nudging you and you sigh, squeezing his shoulder. Sometimes you forget the satyr is older than you; he stands tall as your pillar of support, unwavering in his promise to protect these kids.
“We’re getting old, man.”
“You’re only 23. There’s so much left of you,” he deadpans. Laughter comes out of you in waves as you shake your head smiling.
“And what a pleasure it’s been to grow up with you.”
Grover bids you a good night as you walk up the stairs to your old room, phone in hand while you dial a familiar number. Your boyfriend answers before the end of the first ring.
“Hey, I didn’t think you’d still be up!”
Settling against the windowpane near your bed, a soft smile graces your features and you realize he’s not there to see it. It’s always been easy with him—Dex was unbelievably kind, and he had a heart that he’d share without you having to ask. He was unlike any man you’d ever encountered before, and over the past year and a half you found it easy to love him.
Worst of all, he’s utterly devoted to you. At least every part of you that you were willing to give him, even if it wasn’t allof you per se. Plus, you saw the ring in his desk drawer last week. It was too…good to be true. You recognize that this was your way out like Clarisse said, your escape from the turbulence that was your life as a demigod. But it was hard to believe that you were deserving of it. He’d never know of the ichor that runs through your veins, and the life you’d have to leave behind to truly be with him. You suppose every love you’ve ever had was sacrificial. You just wonder if because of that, easy makes it hard to feel real.
Maybe if you survive this one you’d tell him the truth. But for now, he’s rambling in your ear about his sudden work trip upstate. Morpheus and Hypnos are already at work then, redirecting the city dwellers out of Manhattan. It must be later than you thought already and in a few short hours, Apollo will be shining his rays across the Island for what you hope won’t be the last time.
“I wish I was with you right now,” you mutter in a hushed tone, and you hear him laugh breathily through the static sound of the phone. It’s easy to imagine him twirling the telephone cord between his fingers, flopped over the tiny loveseat you went halfsies on with your first big paychecks. The apartment you both moved into after graduation is more accurately a shoebox—but it’s yours, and the love you have for it is immeasurable in comparison to the square footage. You hum, listening to the sound of his voice, “Maybe I can catch you before I go—stop by and say hi before I drive up.”
He won’t. By morning, you’re not even sure if he’ll remember you—all traces of Greek gods and their counterparts wiped clean from memory until it’s all over, whenever that is. You’re mindlessly walking in circles around your room, bare feet padding against the floorboards. He repeats your name and you realize you haven’t been paying attention, the tail end catching your ear, “Hmm?”
“Or you could come to me. I’m sure your dad won’t mind. It’s time I meet him, don’t you think?”
And out of anything happening tomorrow, that especially sounds like a nightmare so you make a noise of disagreement, “I can’t. You know I can’t, honey. I’ve got…” your voice trails off as your lilac eyes land on a faded photo strip thumbtacked to your wall, “unfinished business to deal with.” There’s nothing left but inky silhouettes on the sun-damaged paper, two past lovers huddled together. But you know what it’s a picture of. Rye Playland, you and Luke at fifteen, cheek to cheek and covered in wisps of cotton candy.
“Mm. Sounds important. Does your unfinished business have a name?”
Dex sounds playful now, teasing despite the silence on your end of the line. A beat passes, and then another, and he can hear the sound of your hands rifling through the things in your desk drawer. The dragon scale necklace is cold in your palm.
For good luck, you think.
It’s been a while since you’ve worn it—keeping it safe in the only home you and Luke shared, and as soon as it touches your neck, you feel a little less empty inside. It feels like a safety blanket, protecting you from whatever might come next. You almost feel guilty to be relieved.
Thumbing the cord absentmindedly, you mutter, “You don’t even know the half of it, Dex.”
“Maybe one day you’ll tell me.” Sometimes, it’s like he knows— Dex must be the ivy that grows over the walls you’ve built up around yourself, and he can see glimpses of who you try to hide behind your stone-cold resolve. He wonders if you’ll ever tell him about the names you call out at night— an indistinguishable language he’ll never fully understand. He wonders where you’ve gotten your constellation of scars and where your mind goes when you sit next to the window and stare at the skyline.
Oh, he wonders.
The glow-in-the-dark stars are faded now on the ceiling when you look up at them, fighting to give their last bits of light. You wonder too, if there’s any fight left in you; a bit of Luke always remains—he’s everywhere you look. You can feel him as night falls upon New York, bidding you goodnight before it crumbles tomorrow.
“Maybe. Good night, honey.”
Dex yawns into the receiver. You know his feet are kicked up onto the coffee table even though you always tell him he shouldn’t, and that his glasses are already off for the night. You really think he could be a nice guy to end up with, all things considered. Dex was the epitome of normal, and after almost two and a half decades of existence, it’s quite evident that you are anything but.
Normal might be quite nice.
He yawns again. Hypnos must have reached his window, “I love you, you know that?”
“I do. Me too. Good night.”
It’s the truth.
You love this man and the spaces he’s filled within the chaos of your life. You love all of him, from the perfectly normal way he makes breakfast for you every morning (and laughs when he burns the toast), and takes the train to work at a middle school in Harlem (“6th grade ELA takes a lot out of a man,” he jokes). He picks you up from your job at the therapist’s office downtown if you get out too late, as a gentleman would (though you’ve fought monsters that he’d scream at the sight of). Once upon a time, normal was exactly what you used to wish for.
There’s a moment where your breath hitches and you sink against your pillow and you wonder if he would love all of you—demigod and all. Could he get used to this— summers at Camp Half-Blood with chariot races and gladiator-style fighting, pegasi and harpies roaming the grounds, and watersports with woodland nymphs? Dex never even questions your green thumb or how Pollux made him hallucinate your dead brother when he came to visit (“It’s what Castor would’ve wanted! The full twin-terrogation!” he insists. You convinced your boyfriend he got food poisoning that night). Could you come clean about knowing how to slay a chimera, or why you never get drunk, and have the stamina of an Olympian (the athletic kind, but not too far off from the truth)?
But it shouldn’t be called coming clean. That makes it sound like you’re ashamed of who you are—which you’re not. You’ve just been hiding this part of you from a normal human that you love very much.
Gods, is this how your dad felt when he was seeing your mom?
Somehow insanity has always felt bearable—love, however, has always been such an ordeal.
The phone bounces onto your bedspread once you hang up the call. There is no more time to worry about playing a part. Tomorrow, everyone comes as they are—whatever happens after will be a problem if you reach another day. Fate has its way of making itself known, you know that by now. Blinking, you take a deep breath, and very intentionally, with your feet criss-cross applesauce, you pray—for what, you still try to figure out as the minutes tick by.
Better late than never.
Here at camp, you were always the last one up after lights out, anyway. Tonight of all nights shouldn't be any different.
[august 16th; 34th street and herald square, manhattan, new york — 9:17 am]
“Where do you think you’re going, mister!”
Your little brother flinches, immediately turning tail and walking across the deserted street to meet you in the middle. He’s taller than you now, craning his neck down to look at your angry glower as you thrust a finger into his face, “You’re sticking with me.”
“Jake said he’s taking 9 and 12 to the Holland Tunnel,” Pollux calls out, shuffling his feet and you punch his arm hard, “OW! —It’s what Percy wants.” He swats your hand away for good measure, his arm guards clanking against yours when he dodges another swing at his head.
“We are Cabin 12, you shithead. I’m not letting you out of my sight for a second.” Your staff is heavy against his shoulder and Pollux can’t help but let his gaze wander to where Jake Mason and the other children of Hephaestus are waiting for him a block over. Manhattan is a warzone, and the difference between fighting empousai and fighting his older sister right now is very similar in theory—hard to do alone. The tunnel is halfway across the city from the Empire State Building—if something were to happen to either of you…
"M’not here to fight,” he sighs, “with you at least. I need to do my part, sissy.” The old nickname is an arrow through your heart, and you grab Pollux’s hand, “I just want to make sure you’ll be okay. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I couldn’t get to you in time.”
“HEY 12! You coming, or what?”
The two of you look towards the small army down the block, both of your hands intertwined like grapes from the same vine. You’re not sure if you can let go; you’re not sure if your father could lose another child. But Pollux’s face is almost set in stone—he’s never been more sure of himself. Your lip wavers, forcing itself into a stiff smile and he softens at the sight, “I’ll be okay.”
“And if you’re not? Then what?”
He shrugs, “Then… then I’ll get to see Castor.”
You nod, breathing shakily, and flinching when Jake calls for Pollux again, “Well. If you are okay…You come find me. After this is over, you come straight back home to me. You got it?”
Pollux hugs you, hard—the force of all of him sending you sprawling into his arms and it knocks the wind out of you. As the twins have grown, it’s been rare for them to show you any affection. They’d usually recoil or whine about how mushy their older sister is, and each time it makes you laugh. But right now, you stand there gripping onto his t-shirt, breathless; the ringing in your ears gives way to words he mumbles into your hair, “I love you,” he says, in case you didn’t already know.
Just in case this is goodbye. You take it in for a moment longer, running a hand through his blond hair and cupping his cheeks as you finally step away, “I love you. I’m so proud of you, P. We all are.”
“Haven’t done anything yet,” he grins, backing away slowly, a skip in his step as he nears the small troop of Hephaestus kids. You wave them off, blowing a kiss as they band together and turn in the other direction.
Why is it that you can only be proud of someone if there’s something to prove it? You think about all 40 of your campers fighting for their lives in the greatest city in the world. The sound of hellfire, roaring monsters, and screams that could only come from your kids. Fatigue wears you down with each swipe of magic towards enemy forces, monsters writhing in pain at your feet, demigods reduced to insanity and blood-curdling screams. It disgusts you even more so that no one can witness the weapon you've been forced to become. After all, no one knows any of you were there. Life continues on outside of the bubble containing the Battle of Manhattan. And only the ones fighting will be able to remember this. Only you will remember the blood you spilled to wrestle for your destiny.
The rest of the city continues to sleep, safe from the people who swore to protect it.
[august 18th; empire state building, manhattan, new york mount olympus, in the sky above new york??? — 5:22 pm]
Running up 492 flights of stairs was another type of hell you didn’t expect to put yourself through, but it was faster than waiting for the elevator to Olympus. It’s quiet besides the steady rush of blood pumping in your ears, your boots slapping against the tile to reach your friends who might be in danger at the hands of someone you know well. But it’s too late to give up when you’re so close—you realize you’re praying to anyone who’ll listen as you push through the pain of always being a little too late.
“Ugh!”
Air pierces through your lungs painfully as you trip up a landing, hands clawing against the banister. Have you been running in place this whole time, quick to start but hard to follow? Your lip quivers, eyes trailing up the stairwell faster than your legs can take you.
Whatever the outcome, you’ll be better for it, you hope.
It’d be easier to give up. To stay away and not watch Percy fight for his life against him. You dry heave as you press your head against the wall, wondering if it’s worth not seeing what will become of this wretched prophecy. It’s hard to survive loving the villain when the rest of the world is dying because of it. Your legs feel like jelly underneath you, and not a single soul in Manhattan knows you’re here—until you feel the strength of an old traveler lift you up and revitalize your soul. Looking down to see your boots retie themselves tightly, the feeling in your chest reminds you of him. Everything leads back to Luke, and you think wherever he is now—Hermes knows that too.
“Thank you,” you mutter. He’s handpicked your prayer through the tempest that hangs over Manhattan so that maybe your hands will be gentler in smiting his lost son. You find yourself with the nerve to run up the last dozen flights of stairs, pushing past the entryway to see Thalia Grace under a statue of her stepmother, “THALIA!” You barely make it to her fallen form before her free arm tries to push you away from the rubble.
“Get out of here! I mean it—” Thalia spits out your name through gnarled teeth and bones crunching under the heavy hands of Hera. The statue lays over the bottom half of her body, holding her legs down like how one forms a fist, and the daughter of Zeus pushes through pain and millennia worth of her dad’s karmic debt in giving her life—the essence of being a forbidden child still has a hold on her, even now.
“I’m not gonna…leave you…”
With everything in you, both demigod strength and sheer desperation, you push at the unmoving stone, and your fingernails are splintering from the pressure.
But you know what it feels like to get left behind.
Desolation slowly sets in your bones, a hollow feeling that spreads through your core as sweat rolls down your cheeks, and when you sniff to wipe it away, Thalia’s lip quivers. She’s writhing in pain and everything is coming to an end down the hall from where you stand.
“We’re so close, Grace. I’m not giving up on you when we’re this close. I need you in there with me so you just hold on, okay?”
The marble is cool to the touch under your moist hands, and her face is fixed in a grimace as she looks up at you and sees you for who you are—another demigod who was never given a fair chance at fate but with a spirit of a hero waiting for the right chance. Thalia coughs before slapping your hand away, “LISTEN TO ME! I’ll be okay. He needs you to be there. We’re almost out of time!”
You barely register your body moving as you get up and start to run, looking back at Thalia by the time you’re at the top of the landing. There are no words that you could imagine to string together when your eyes meet hers in the distance that separates you two—the feeling of grief bearing down as you both know there is no way out but through this, whatever faces you inside those doors.
As you turn back around, you take a moment to wonder if you might’ve had different people in mind for who’s up there waiting for you.
[august 18th; the hall of gods, mount olympus, the sky above new york— 6:48 pm]
Finally pushing through the heavy doors of the Hall of Gods, your eyes burn like salt in a wound as you travel toward the center to see three figures laid out on the marble mezzanine. There’s a cramp in your calf by the time you reach them, your legs giving way as you skid to a stop in front of Luke’s corroded body. The pain doesn’t register for you, split skin going numb as you stare into the eyes of a storm you fell in love with almost ten years ago.
A stranger is no longer wearing your love’s skin. Percy and Annie’s eyes feel heavy against your back as they watch you sigh in relief, a landslide of emotion rolling off of you when you see he’s still breathing, even faintly, as if he waited for you to make it back to him.
“It’s Luke,” Annabeth chokes out, “the scythe transformed into Backbiter and I knew it was him. He was fighting for us.” Her voice makes you flinch, makes this more real—it echoes as the wind carries it through the hall. Without a doubt in your mind, you know it’s him by the way he looks at you with tired eyes, soft and amber—the light pushing away the shadows and he reaches out for you. His skin is paled by the River Styx, face weathered by the Titan as you gently guide his head onto your lap. A pathetic cry slips from your mouth when you realize there’s more pressure in the fingers he brushes against your cheekbone versus the one holding the blade embedded in his chest.
Fuck, what do you even say?
He’s dying in front of you and you can’t think of a single word to say.
The clock is ticking and every breath of his comes out weaker––he speaks before you can find the words, breathing out, “I missed you,” like it was a relief to say it. And it all comes spilling out like a secret you’ve been safeguarding since the day he left— a mix of your tears and his blood smearing across your cheek as he reaches out to wipe them ever so gently. You find yourself smiling in the face of death itself—smile even if the both of you can feel death’s hand on him saying that time is finally up because the act of meeting each other here in the middle makes the years you’ve gone without him worthwhile.
The reunion is also the loss; a nasty habit you’ve both fallen into over the years. But this time, Luke’s finally able to giveyou the world he wanted to see just before he leaves it.
You clutch him close without intending to let go, purple eyes scavenging for confirmation that this is your Luke, the one who pushed you through the brambles of the North Woods, wind in his hair and mischief in his smile. He’s citrus and musk, cunning smiles, something sacred kept within cabin 11, calloused fingers pulling at your t-shirt, and the voice out of tune at nightly sing-a-longs—and he loves you still.
Loving you was the only thing that never changed.
“Shhhh, don’t waste your energy. The gods will…” you swallow a sob despite yourself, “I…my dad’s going to be here soon. He’ll help us.” There’s a lump in your throat that carries the weight of everything unsaid. Who would help you now that everyone else is getting what they wanted—a brighter tomorrow without the villain? But the prophecy unveils itself so cruelly, and the one who hurt you is the hero in this story, just as he’s always dreamed. It so happens to be at the cost of loving you.
Luke’s eyelids flutter like butterfly wings descending softly. You press a kiss onto his forehead like you used to while waiting for him to fall asleep. The chuckle that rumbles his ribcage is faint against the hand of yours that’s holding him together and the war is finally over and no one even knows that besides the four of you in this room.
“I'm running on borrowed time,” Luke wheezes, “I think my life ended the day I left you.” His thumb weakly traces the tear tracks cascading down your face, and he’s reacquainting himself with every feature of yours while he can touch it—to hold and be held by you after so long feels like drinking up ambrosia, his last bits of strength telling you what you’ve always known.
Is there a word stronger than love? One that would explain how close and how far you feel to him at this moment and you don’t want to say the wrong thing but there are no wrong words when it comes to the right person. Hoarsely, through wavering lips, you chuckle, “Then it's time to stop running, baby. I’m here now.”
It’s exhausting to carry the weight of tomorrow in your arms and to know it’ll be made possible only by letting him go. You’re holding him too tightly, claws sinking in to feel—to ground yourself and keep him tethered to this reality, just in case a different answer falls out of the sky.
But falling with Luke Castellan, falling for him, has been nothing like you wanted. You've said your goodbyes more often than you can count.
This part is just about letting him go.
“I think I’m doomed,” he laughs, coughing harshly. Blood soaks his airways, retribution for the lives he took. It drips out of his mouth and you still look at Luke like he’s asked you to marry him. What a soft, funny thought.
Love must be more violent than war, to feel like this—to know he’s wrecked your world and still come out the other side smiling at him like he put the stars in the sky. His fingers are slipping out of yours as you hold onto the knife that keeps him here and Luke mutters, “I’m so s-sorry. You deserved better in this life.” You hear Annabeth sob from somewhere behind you but you can’t look at anything else but his eyes, not daring to miss another moment of him.
“Can’t be all that bad,” you say with a watery chuckle, wiping his mouth with your thumb. There’s more of a mess now with your feeble efforts but the action comforts you more than him; caring for Luke is something you cannot unlearn.
“This life gave me you. I don’t want to know anything else. Do you hear me?”
You want Luke to know this—to understand that even if this is how fate has handled the both of you, there is no other hand you would hold but his.
“You’re my whole life, Trouble.”
“I know, angel. I know. It’s always been me and you.”
You and me, he mouths, an echo of himself left to relay the message as his eyes lose their warmth, empty now and unseeing. And then he's home in your arms again as you hold every broken and bloodied piece of him together until he's no more. The parts of him he leaves behind blur into you, rivulets of his lifeforce weaving through your fingertips even when you put pressure against the knife you both hold, hands cradling the spot under his armpit, and to Percy and Annabeth it looks like you're holding his heart, clutching it between your fingers.
Protecting it until his last beat—when he finally gives it over to you.
It was always yours, anyway.
Before, in the in-between, and now after, his heart is yours.
Time stops for Luke Castellan, the man born to die, in the Hall of Gods that day— in the arms of his partner and in the presence of his little sister and truest friend.
Lips against his ear, no one tries to pull you away, even when the gods of Olympus march in expecting a battle to onlyfind a dead hero and a story that needs to be told.
You’ve never seen him so still before.
Luke’s always been the one with something to say, hands fidgeting to hold yours. Still, you hold his hand even if he can't feel it, still smile even if he can't see you, still whisper words of devotion even if he can't hear it. By the time you feel your father’s hands on your back and hear Percy say, “We need a shroud. A shroud for the son of Hermes,” you imagine that he’s miles away from where he lays motionless, dead weight in your grasp. Nothing can pull you away from the mantra you set to remind him that he’s yours even when he leaves again. Luke’s soul will soon journey where you cannot follow, and you whisper to him in the stillness amidst the noise, “I love you, I love you, I love you…”
When the Fates come to collect the body, their ancient hands spin around the two of you as they unweave your hold on him. You weren’t given a choice—his material body dissipates in front of your eyes and you swear you feel the tug from deep within your core as you watch them float Luke away. It’s so much different now from when he used to fly around your room with his stupid winged Converse—even the gods avert their eyes when you let out a sob that shakes the ornate hall. Hopelessly you watch, sat down on the marble and unable to move or follow—as if maybe he’d still answer to your sweet nothings, and not leave you hanging once more. You slump against your father’s side, catatonic and at a loss for words—they leave with him, floating away into the distance.
Humanity’s biggest problem and resolution has always been love—this was never a story about the lack thereof.
[august 18th; death, pre-judgement? — the seven minutes after]
The path that Luke Castellan takes after he dies is most peculiar and unlike any path he’s traveled before. And yes, there have been several times that he’s come close to death—under Ladon’s claws in the Garden of Hesperides, and when he relinquished his physical self by bathing in the River Styx, but neither of those times where he’s cheated his way out can compare to the real thing.
He once read in one of Annabeth’s textbooks that there are seven minutes of brain activity that wanes in your consciousness before you die. There’s a distinct thrumming in his ears when he comes to, and Luke discovers he’s completely in the dark with no sense of direction and most importantly, no visible way out. The old him, were he still alive—would be panicking by now, short terse breaths and sweat upon his brow. Old Luke would have fidgeting hands and eyes that rocket around for an exit. But this Luke, whoever he is—whatever he is now, finds himself eerily calm. Everything glows in a vignette, and familiar scenes materialize before his vision, a kaleidoscope of color and your shrieking laughter surrounding him in the familiarity of your happiness with him—it feels like lifetimes ago. He realizes he’s smiling.
Versions of you swirl in the space he stands in, taking up space wherever he can look, wherever he turns—you’re there.
And he remembers.
Memory is a choice after all, much like love is. And no one can take that away from Luke Castellan except death itself.
The scene flickers for a moment, eyelashes fluttering against morning light peeking through the windows of Cabin 11.
It’s Luke’s first morning at Camp Half-Blood after the storm that brought him and Annabeth there. You’re standing over him with a half-beaten pillow and a menacing grin that grows as he spits out feathers. It’s his first impression of you, Kool-aid tipped hair and hands shaking with a crushed Redbull can in your other fist.
“Good. You’re still breathing. Wasn’t sure for a sec.” A voice yells out your name and you make a run for it, barefoot and giggling and looking back at him every few steps—his breath catches in his throat again like how it did on the first day you both met.
The scenery changes and he’s sitting next to you on the dock of Canoe Lake.
“I dare you.”
“No way,” he hears himself say, and then he sees you fling algae at him in ropes, cold and slimy that it makes his voice crack, “He—ey! You’re gonna get us fired and it hasn’t even been a full day since we got the job,” he says, clearing his throat as you bite your lip.
“What’s one last hurrah?”
“You’re always gonna be Trouble, aren’t you?” he says, getting annoyed by the orange fabric that temporarily blinds him. Chuckling, you pull your shorts off and look back at him, eyes glinting in the moonlight and he can’t help but ogle at the rest of you, gulping hard. You catch him staring and he averts his eyes, looking back at the treeline to see if anyone’s come to find you both. A resounding splash echoes in the silence between you and Luke turns back to find your head bobbing visible above the water and not much else.
“I double-dog dare you, Castellan.”
He jumps in.
The dark blue of the water turns into light reflecting the pinks and purples of the sky above Montauk Point at sunset.
“We’re alive! Told you we’d be fine,” you yell, clicking your seatbelt off and jumping out of the car before Luke can even put the hatchback in park. It was his first drive anywhere—you’ve finally graduated from looping around Farm Road.
“Hey wait up!”
He calls out your name, but you’re already kicking up sand as the distance between you grows until he locks up the car and chases after you. You didn’t stand a chance, slipping and sliding in the sand as the son of Hermes quickly grabs you around the waist and throws you over his shoulder as you scream bloody murder. When he sets you down, your arms are looped around his neck and you’re smiling against the pink and tender scar on his cheek.
“Think we can break into the lighthouse before the guards come, angelface?”
The sound of crashing waves turns into chattering cabin counselors and when Luke looks around again, he’s at the Big House, with everyone else pushing their chairs in and walking towards the door. He holds his hand out and you grab it with no words or instruction—like a key nestled within its lock, exactly where it’s meant to be.
“Last order of business, kind of…” Your dad drones from his spot near the windows. Luke tries to let go of your hand but you don’t let him, “Don’t panic,” you mutter.
“This… fraternization won't become an issue for all of us, will it?”
Everyone’s frozen near the doorway, staring at your intertwined hands. Luke clears his throat and turns toward Mr. D, “I’ll see to it that it doesn’t. Sir.”
You could almost hear a pin drop, and no one knows what to say next—not even Mr. D.
“Yeah, I’ll keep Castellan in line.”
That’s the confirmation everyone was waiting for; a mixture of groans and the clinking of drachma fill the air as Chris holds his hands out and takes his spoils of victory with a charming smirk on his face. Clarisse throws the coins at his head.
“I feel like I should take a bow or something,” Luke snickers into your ear, before placing a kiss against your temple.
You’re still in his arms and still look good in orange, but when he pulls back to look at you again, you’re both hovering above the ground near the dining pavilion. His knees are shaking when his winged Converse flap madly underneath you—a flurry of uncoordinated movement that makes you want to piss yourself.
“You’re lucky I have a strong core, babe,” he grins—and he’s thrilled at the fear on your face as you clutch onto him for dear life, one arm around his abdomen and the other around his neck, both legs latched around his waist.
“I swear to the fucking gods if you drop me, Castellan…”
His right foot jerks in a slightly different direction, making him laugh as you squeak.
“Castellan, huh? That scared, Trouble? Not gonna drop my baby.”
The wind around you whirls like a tornado as Luke tries to show off, getting higher and higher until, “LUKE!”
He catches you by the fingertips again and now there’s sand beneath your feet. You’re still spinning in his arms and his mom is singing along to a song playing on the radio you brought to Westport Beach. May claps lightly and you tug her up with a soft smile, “Come on Miss May! Take your son out for a spin.” Tugging at the damp white t-shirt you wear over your underwear, you take a seat on the picnic blanket and watch them with a smile you haven’t given Luke in years.
“Mother-son dance,” May whispers in his ear, humming a few notes of the wedding march.
He closes his eyes and soaks it all in, slightly swaying.
That thrumming is in his ears again, a steady beat against his chest and he feels it everywhere—a pounding rhythm that cannot be ignored. He opens his eyes and you’re snuggled against each other, tangled beneath the sheets. You’re still asleep and Luke just…watches you before the morning starts (whenever this is) and it all has to end. You’re breathing against his neck, lips slightly agape as warm air brushes his pulse. He moves hair out of your face and you pull him in unconsciously, skin to skin with no atom of space left between you.
Luke blinks.
You’re in your college apartment.
He blinks again.
His childhood bedroom.
Again, please.
In Cabin 12.
Please, just one last time.
You’re drooling against his neck in his tiny bunk in Cabin 11 and the noise is getting louder now—a static sound that morphs into the sound of your voice throbbing like a heartbeat, “I love you, I love you, I love you.”
It’s the last thing he can hear before he has to go.
_
“I wanna see your eyes / Is it a crime to say I still need you?” - Adrienne Lenker
#made by ma1dita ♥︎#luke castellan x reader#trouble!verse#percy jackon and the olympians#luke castellan angst#pjo x reader#luke castellan x dionysus!reader
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Id just love to go to town with you, in a short skirt with no panties. So you can always check if im wet, if not you’ll just start rubbing and fucking me until i cum, no matter where and no matter who’s watching. Mommy wouldn’t care a bit
The city pulses around us, electric with life. Neon signs flicker above storefronts, bathing the sidewalks in shifting hues of red, blue, and gold. The scent of street food lingers—grilled meat sizzling on open flames, the buttery sweetness of pastries fresh from the oven, a faint wisp of something smoky from a distant bonfire. The air is crisp, the kind of autumn night that carries a sharp bite, but even that does nothing to cool the heat simmering between us.
You walk ahead of me just slightly, leading me through the shifting crowd, but every step you take is deliberate. That skirt—the one you knew would drive me insane—is barely more than a whisper of fabric, fluttering against the tops of your thighs with every movement. Your bare legs catch the glow of passing headlights, skin illuminated in flashes of warmth and shadow. You know exactly what you’re doing, and I know exactly what you’re waiting for.
The crosswalk signal blinks red, halting us at the curb, and I take the opportunity to step closer, pressing in just behind you. The night air swirls around us, but all I feel is the warmth radiating from your body, the anticipation thrumming beneath your skin like a live wire.
My hand ghosts over the small of your back, tracing down, slipping lower, skimming over the hem of your skirt. It would be so easy—so fucking easy—to lift it just slightly, to remind you of exactly what you left yourself open for tonight.
You inhale sharply.
“You’ve been teasing me all night,” I murmur, my voice low, smooth, meant only for you, meant to slip beneath your skin and settle deep. “Are you wet for me already, sweetheart?”
You don’t answer—not with words. But I feel the way your thighs clench, the way your breath catches for just a second, how your fingers tighten around the strap of your purse like you need something to hold onto.
The light turns green.
I let you go—just for a moment, just long enough for you to take a shaky step forward, as if you actually think I’m done with you.
You don’t make it two steps before my hand is on you again, sliding beneath your skirt, fingers dragging up the inside of your bare thigh. The crowd moves around us, bodies brushing past in waves, conversations buzzing in the air, but you?
You go rigid, body locking up as my fingers brush higher, teasing over your heat.
“Spread your legs for me.”
It’s not a question.
You hesitate, your body taut with the thrill of it, the risk, the knowledge that at any moment, someone could look over and see exactly how fucking desperate you are for me.
I chuckle darkly. “Don’t make me ask again.”
A soft, shuddering breath escapes you as you shift your weight, just enough to give me access, just enough for my fingers to slip where I want them.
And fuck, you’re soaked.
I hum approvingly, dragging my fingers over you, slow and teasing. “Mmm… such a good little slut for me,” I murmur, my voice nothing but silk and heat. “Walking around like this, bare under your skirt, knowing I’d check. Did you get wet just thinking about it?”
You let out a quiet, broken sound—somewhere between a whimper and a plea.
I grin.
“You love being this desperate, don’t you?”
You nod quickly, sucking your bottom lip between your teeth, struggling to keep from making a noise.
The street is crowded, but no one is paying us any attention. Cars pass, groups of friends laugh and stumble over sidewalks, costumed couples pose for pictures near a decorated storefront.
You’re trembling beneath my touch, caught between wanting more and knowing that we’re not nearly hidden enough for what I plan to do to you.
I drag my fingers over you again, pressing just enough to make your hips jerk slightly. Your breath stutters, and you grab onto my wrist—not to stop me, no, you wouldn’t dare—but as if grounding yourself, as if holding onto control that you already lost the moment we left the house.
“Think you can cum for me right here?” I ask, my voice dark with amusement. “Or should I keep teasing you until you’re begging?”
You let out a desperate little whimper, your thighs trembling, your fingers gripping my arm so tightly I almost feel bad for you.
Almost.
“Answer me, sweetheart,” I coo, my fingers pressing just a little harder, just enough to send a jolt of pleasure through you. “Do you want to cum?”
You nod frantically, barely whispering, “Please.”
I lean in close, my lips brushing against your jaw, my voice a velvet whisper in your ear.
“Then take it.”
The hum of the city fades. The crowd moves around us, oblivious, unaware of just how fucking wrecked you are for me in this moment.
The hum of the city surrounds us—the distant chatter of people passing by, the soft clink of glasses from a nearby café, the low hum of jazz drifting from an open window. The warm glow of streetlights flickers against your skin, painting you in golden hues, making you look even more irresistible.
But you’re not thinking about any of that, are you?
No. You’re thinking about my hand, the one teasing at the hem of your skirt, barely brushing your inner thigh, so light, so deliberate. You’re thinking about how reckless you were, walking out of the house without panties, knowing exactly what you were inviting.
I lean in, my breath warm against your ear, my voice smooth, commanding. “You wanted to be bold, baby. So take it.”
Your body shudders slightly, torn between pressing into my touch and holding still like a good girl. I don’t give you the satisfaction yet—not until I’ve had my fun.
The café beside us is packed with people. Friends laughing over their drinks, couples leaning close, murmuring sweet nothings, the occasional distracted soul scrolling through their phone. They have no idea how weak you are under my touch, how I have you trembling in the middle of it all, barely keeping yourself together.
“Hold still,” I murmur, my lips just barely grazing your skin. “Unless you want them to know how desperate you are for me.”
You tense, your thighs squeezing together instinctively, but I click my tongue, slipping an arm around your waist, keeping you exactly where I want you. “No, no, sweetheart,” I chide, the amusement thick in my voice. “You wanted to play. So be good for me.”
I watch you struggle, your chest rising and falling a little too quickly, your fingers gripping the strap of your purse, your breath coming in short, shaky exhales.
“You’re blushing,” I tease, pressing a slow, lingering kiss to your neck. “Are you feeling shy now?”
You shake your head, but I know better. I see the way your hands tremble slightly, the way your body reacts to every tiny movement I make.
I smirk. “Mm, I think you like this. The thrill of it. The way you never know when I’ll touch you next.”
You exhale sharply, and I let my fingers drift higher—just a whisper of a touch, enough to have you squirming, enough to remind you exactly who you belong to.
The world moves around us, unaware. The streetlights flicker, the night deepens, and still, you’re here, helpless under my hands, waiting, aching, desperate for whatever I decide to give you next.
I lean in, lips just below your ear, my voice a low whisper. “Tell me,” I purr. “Do you want me to stop?”
You barely manage to shake your head, your voice soft, breathless. “No, Mommy.”
I smirk, pressing a kiss just beneath your jaw, my grip tightening around your waist. “Good girl,” I murmur. “Then behave.”
And just like that, I pull away.
My hands slip back into my coat pocket, my expression unreadable, as if nothing had ever happened. The heat of my touch lingers, ghosting over your skin, leaving you on edge, your breath unsteady, your body still thrumming with need.
You stand frozen for a second, trying to compose yourself, frustration flashing in your eyes, but I only smile.
“Let’s go,” I say smoothly, already turning toward the next shop window, acting as if I haven’t just ruined you in the middle of the street.
You hesitate, still catching up, but then you follow, your steps quick, eager, falling right back into place beside me.
I chuckle under my breath.
The night is far from over.
#bd/sm mommy#mommy#domme mommy#mommy k!nk#bd/sm blog#lesbian nsft#bd/sm community#sapphic nsft#bd/sm relationship#lesbian#lesbian yearning#lesbian smut#mommyownsmeeasks#sapphic#sapphic anon#sapphic smut#wlw#wlw yearning#wlw nsft#wlw mommy#wlw smut#wlw community#wlw post#wlw blog#wlw love#wlw ns/fw#ns/fw community#ns/fw content#ns/fw blog#queer ns/fw
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Oh so we’re spreading positivity? Bet.
@gretavangroupie has so so many of the best fics on here, and their contribution to the GVF fics is outstanding.
@joshym has some of the most beautifully written stories I’ve ever read and their plot writing abilities are insane.
@jakeyt has dedication that is unmatched in the fic writing world and I know that absolutely everyone loves them.
@danakin-skywalker, @sinners-go-to-drink-the-wine, and @tripthelightfandomtastic (mostly) haven’t written for a while, but their older fics are some of the most revisited and most highly recommended fics in the fandom hands down.
@vanfleeter has been coming out with so many new fics to aid us through this low content stage in the fandom and their writing blows us away every single time.
I’ve been appreciating writers like @katuschka and @miradors whose masterlist is growing stronggg with queer fics.
Blogs like @scarabsinthestardust, @spark-my-nature , @hailthegodsong, and @writingcold also deserve a huge honorary mention for being some of my go-to’s for fics because their content is absolutely unmatched, I cannot get enough of them.
And a major shoutout to everyone other fic writer on here that puts time and unpaid effort into writing these absolute masterpieces for us. We love you and appreciate you so so much I cannot put into words how much we love you! (Please keep writing)
Sleek, modern, sexy. All of it 🤌
Fic writers, your words are your art. 🫶🏻
#( answered ).#jake gvf#jake kiszka#josh gvf#josh kiszka#sam gvf#sam kiszka#danny gvf#danny wagner#gvf#greta van fleet
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Say please~
Pairing: Jey Uso x fem! Oc (Fantasia Nicole)
Warnings: daddy kink, mami kink, spanking,p in v,giving and receiving oral, cream pie, MINORS DNI‼️
Genre: Smut and slight angst.
Face creds: Kiana ledé
Word count: 1 trillion and two..
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As I fixed my makeup I noticed my best friend Trinity calling me. “Hello?” I answered. “Hey Fanny come outside we’re here babe.” She said as I heard their call pull up. “ok I’m on my way.” I said before hanging up and grabbing my purse while heading outside. Trinity had always been there for me and I know she would never leave my side that’s what I loved about her and her husband he was insanely funny but I ha d to explain to him that I was the main course and that he’s just a side dish I allow her to see and of course there’s Jey Uso with his stupid sexy smile and snarky remarks. It isn’t my fault that he’s so damn annoyingly cute but he’s also a pain right in the ass! The first day I started at WWE he was nice until he invited me to his house warming party and I accidentally knocked over one of his most expensive champagne bottles. He yelled and hollered at me saying I did it on purpose. Of course I didn’t do it intentionally but I did end up replacing the bottles he’s hated me ever since, or so I thought. As I got into the car I was in the backseat with Jey and I reached up to hug trinity who was sitting in the front. “Hey babe!” I say embracing trinity then hugging Jon. As I sat back into my seat I saw Jey looking at me. “Jon looked inside of his mirror and eyes us both. “Y’all gon act right on this trip or what?”Jey looks up at his brother and rolls his eyes. I knew this was gonna be a LONG trip.
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As we were about an hour into our road trip I realized I had forgotten my coat in the trunk and it was super cold in the car. Trinity was asleep and I didn’t want to ask Jon so I just sat in the cold shivering. That is until I felt someone staring at me and it was Jey and he was holding a white blanket and handed it towards me. “Thank you.” I mouthed to him and he just nodded and put his headphones back on.
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Once we arrived at our hotel lots of the WWE community were at the bar or smoking lounge. We all decided to share rooms of two since more people would be coming soon. I could see the look of annoyance in Jey’s eyes but another thing I couldn’t quite figure out what. Soon we all got our key cards and while Jon and trinity went to go to their rooms to sleep Jey went to the smoking lounge with Rhea. now did I hate Rhea? No. Did I envy Rhea? Yes. I could see how Jey could look at her with hearts in his eyes, In a way that I knew couldn’t be reflected back on me. So whenever I saw her on his story I threw on my best outfit and went down to the bar.
As I walked in I could feel the eyes landing out me but I felt a pair in particular, Jey Uso’s. I sat down and ordered a couple of rounds of tequila and waited for my drink to be served. While I waited I heard a chair scoot out beside me and I looked to my right to see Carmelo Hayes the boy that just wouldn’t lead me alone! “Hey girl, why you sitting here looking this sexy all alone?” I looked at his with disgust in my eyes. “Not interested Carmelo.” I say trying to scoot away but before I could he grabbed my chair and forced me back over to him. “Why you leaving? Cmon girl come to my room?” He said staring deep into my soul. “I said n-.” Before I could finish a big booming voice came up from behind me. “Leave her alone before I bust you big ass face in.” Jey said with red in his eyes. “Aye bro chill out I’m leaving.” Carmelo said before getting for from the stool and leaving us be. “I had it under control.” I say staring at him and the tequila started catching up to me. “Yeah right man cmon you’re wasted, I’m taking you back to the hotel.” He said before lifting me up and taking to the nearest elevator.
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Once we made it back to the hotel I was set down by Jey and I took off my coat before slowing taking off other parts of my clothing. My shirt my pants my bra my underwear before I was completely bare I front of Jey. “Woah! What are you doing I’m standing right here?” He said before covering his eyes. “Oh shut it crybaby.” I say before grabbing my robe and putting it on. As I got into bed I heard Jey getting ready for bed too. About 10 minutes later he comes out shirtless exposing his tattoos and muscular form. I didn’t even realize I was staring until I Jey started talking to me. “It’s rude to stare baby girl.” He said looking and smirking at me. He the. Climbed into bed with me and slowly leaned in kissing me. The kiss started off at passionate and gentle. “Tell me to stop if you don’t want this.” He whispered into my ear. I shook my head but the felt him grab my face and force me to look at him. “Words mami.”I groan in response when I felt his brush knee against aching core. “Yes !yes! josh need you so bad!” Before I could say anything else josh ripped my robe off of my body and threw it on the floor along with his shorts. “So fucking tired of that stupid ass pretty ass mouth, since you have a lot of mouth you can take a lot of daddy’s dick.” He lined his angry tip up to my lips. I started giving it kitten licks and soft kisses before taking him in my mouth. I groaned at the taste of him on my tongue. “Fuuuuuck mamas.” He groaned out as I started bobbing my head taking loads of his cum into my mouth. After he reached his climax he soon picked me up from my ass and took me to the bed where he laid me down flat on my back, and once I was laid down he started trailing kisses down my body until his lips hovered over my aching clit. “Say pleaseeeee?” He taunted looking at my irritated expression before I mumbled the words. “Please.” Before I could react he slapped the outsides of my ass right where my thighs were. A long strung moan erupted from my lips before Jey started speaking again. “I said say please or daddy will stop.” At the mention of Jey threatening to stop I became extra needy. “ N-No! Please daddy don’t stop!” I screamed when I felt his hot breath come closer to my pussy. “Gooood girl baby.” He said before latching his lips onto my puffy cult and sticking two fat fingers and curling them upwards into my awaiting hole. “Ughhhh ma you taste amazing.” He said before licking faster and harder than he was before. When my legs started shaking he knew I was close. “J-Jey I’m gonna.. I’m-I’m-” “shhhhh I know baby let it all out on daddy’s tongue.” And those were the only words I needed before I squirted on Jey’s tongue and of course I heard him slurping up all of my juices. “Cmon mama you can give just one more right?” He said before standing to his feet and picking me up and sitting me on his growing member. “Ahhh Please daddy don’t stop!” I screamed when I felt his thumb on my clit. “Ride my dick and don’t stop until I say so.” He demanded before he had me in the lotus position and I was bouncing on his rock hard cock. My tits were bouncing in his face before he latched onto one with his amazingly incredible tongue. “D-daddy I’m gonna come again!” I moaned before Jey spoke up again. “Wait for daddy like a g-good girl ahh fuck.” He said as I clenched around his tightly. “Fuuuuck Tasia I’m gonna come where do you want it ugh-” “Inside! come inside!” I shouted before squirting all over his cock and he filled up my belly to the brim. After i collapsed on the bed next to him and after a few minutes we both held on to each other and fell asleep.
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When I woke up all I saw were Jey’s arms around me and 10 missed calls from Trinity I opened my phone and called her on FaceTime with my camera off of course. “Hello?” I said my voice still groggy “did you forget our rooms are right next to each other?” My eyes widen in shock before I heard Jey chuckle. “Girl you WILL tell me everything! “And me!” Jon said as he got into the camera. “Ok ok guys I will but right now I gotta go. I love y’all and I’ll talk to y’all later.” I said before hanging up. “You’re terrible at not laughing.” I smile up at Jey before he bursts out laughing.
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Fantasia Nicole_WWE
liked by trinity_fatu, uceyjucey, and 400,000 others
Fantasia Nicole_WWE: good morning!
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trinity_fatu: beautiful Fanny!💋
uceyjucey: ❤️
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The end🫶🏾
YALL CAN FINALLY GET OFF MY CASE I FINISHED IT SO ENJOY😭🙄
Credits to all owners of these pictures they are not mine‼️
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honestly with the way us devil’s minion enjoyers have been whipping ourselves into a frenzy persistently over the last several months i think even a single crumb of them in season 3 will have the equivalent effect of being shot through the eye by a sniper rifle
#interview with the vampire#iwtv#devil’s minion#daniel molloy#armand#i for one think that sounds like a good time#so i can’t wait to be decimated#we’re all so insane and i love that for us#this is the highest endorsement of a ship i could possibly offer#i do think we’ll get more than a crumb#but one would absolutely be enough to cause a mass freak out
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I like to think that Leo one day decides to really play around with his portaling and teleportation abilities and see the full extent of them.
Like - continuously throwing one sword and teleporting to it while throwing the next one immediately and repeating this as long as he can to see how far he can keep it up without stopping.
Making little portals in the air that lead right up against the ground so he could potentially just stand on the portal in the middle of the sky.
Ultimate storage system - anything anywhere at any time is available if he knows where to get it (personally my headcanon for why he goes from two satchels to one in the movie.)
Phasing to avoid attacks - like, he could lightly toss a sword a single centimeter and teleport to it, and in that short amount of time he can completely avoid hits.
If they ever do go to space and end up on different planets, with enough training he can just…go there, whenever. Not only would this be great for being well traveled and having more places to go in general, but this also opens up more room for connections and allies that could assist them the next time they need help against a grand foe.
Leo can easily remove injured team members from a fight and get them help without having to account for transportation times.
On that note - Leo’s teleportation in particular acts on a particle level. It’s quite literally breaking him down into particles and remaking him every time he uses it. Both for him and for anyone he uses it on. Who’s to say it can’t be used for healing? At least for basic wounds.
None of this even touches upon the offensive potential of both portals and teleportation. Leo’s abilities flourish more as a support main, but that doesn’t mean those abilities can’t easily be used as weapons - and I don’t think I need to get into how exactly they can be. Portal chopping alone can take on a very different meaning…
Furthermore, I gotta wonder if he’ll always need the swords for this, or if he could one day be able to achieve the same results without them.
My point being - teleportation and portals are super OP. Even with the abilities Leo has in present they are so unbelievably adaptable and so fun to think about in terms of basic mechanics.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#I LOVE teleportation and portals and it’s one of the things that instantly latched me onto Leo#man I didn’t even touch upon how cool the potential for combining the bros abilities would be#that would be another post entirely#but yeah portals and teleportation#ESPECIALLY teleportation are so crazily adaptive and can be used for an insane amount of things if applied correctly#all the boys’ abilities laugh in the face of physics and reality#now I’m wondering if teleporting with someone else and THEN going through a portal WHILE TELEPORTING would mess with both of them#like…the Krang right?#Leo teleported them both through an open portal#wonder how that could mess with them on a particle level hmmmm especially considering the place the Prison Dimension is HMMMM#EDIT: YEAH SOMEONE ELSE MENTIONED IT#but yeah them being hesitant to rely too much on these abilities in battle after the Krang makes sense#BUT#out of battle…now we’re talking#ngl out of battle mystics can be even more fun because they’re just pushing themselves and not being life and death about it#okay I’m gonna go further but consider the potential for transporting massive objects like VEHICLES too#like he could teleport the whole turtle tank or more in that case#and just think of the potential for space travel that could have#okay I’m stopping now#ACTUALLY NO IM NOT#consider Leo being able to stay in the in between of a portal#making it a little space he can access and stay in if he needs a moment alone#the dangers that could amount from it too tho like#godddd the possibilities#I don’t have enough tags to ramble as much as I want to :(
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i’m actually having a jayvik themed birthday party tonight and you’re all invited
#i love that all my friends are also into arcane#it started out with like 3 of us that had watched it and we’ve slowly poisoned our whole group for the past few months#and now we’re ALL insane about it heheheh#these stupid scientists have taken over my entire life#i’m GENUINELY having my birthday party themed jayvik it’s crazy#and we’re gonna finally do a smash cake i’m so hyped#arcane#arcane season 2#jayvik#smash cake#real
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A few headcanons about modern Marcus based on nothing but vibes:
Popular in high school (not mean tho)
Is 6’5 (196 cm) and Very Proud of that
Makes fun of his little siblings for being broke (they are literally 8 and 13… Marcus ur 23 beefing with an 8 year old) to cope with the fact that he works himself to the bone
Studied civil engineering, but had to drop out of college for a bit. Went back and finished his degree when he was 24.
Loves Puerto Rican food (it’s totally NOT because it reminds him of Sejanus)
Unintentionally funny only because he’s Very blunt and doesn’t recognize it
Very into Frank Ocean (let him have his bi representation)
Only a little cocky about his looks (Sejanus called him pretty once and now he thinks he’s A$AP Rocky)
#Marcus TBOSAS#love the Sejarcus fandom because I can say this shit about a man with zero (0) lines in the book and yall will be like#“OMG so true”#we’re all collectively going insane#it’s okay tho I love us
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well fellas it’s happening i think i am maybe developing a crush on the girl ive been fucking recently 🫥
#the first person who i’ve felt even an inkling of a romantic feeling towards in over a year and of course it’s a fucking pisces#(i do not believe in astrology but i really need to believe in astrology rn for intricate rituals reasons😭)#anyways i feel a little bit insane and i don’t know what i want or what i should say and i genuinely GENUINELY genuinely. genuinely feel lik#e kara in all of the yearny supercorp fan fics#AND ALSO. i am a deeply weird autistic community college student and at the same age she is a neurotypical very very functional phd student#with a real job and a real apartment and a real life and a real future i feel so Unworthy of her lol. i’m good at making her come i love tsk#ing care of her but outside of sex i do not know what i have to offer bc i don’t know if my autistic whimsy personality works on neurotypica#ls. like i have yet to figure out if she likes me as a person or tolerates me bc i am oddly enough really good at fucking her idk.#ALSO . what even is a romantic relationship#like as is we go on cute excursions and fuck. what is the difference btw that and dating except monogamy and even that’s not necessarily a t#hing yk?????#AHHHHHHHHH like in my brain the difference btw romantic and fuck buddies is do you have long term intentions and no we don’t we’re in our 20#s we’re students neither of us is out here looking for a whole ass wife so what is the POINT of these feelings#bc like how does this end except hurt. is it worth the hurt at the end probably maybe idfk!!!#AHHHH WHO LET ME POSSESS THE CAPACITY FOR HUMAN EMOTION 😡😡😡
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oh i can already tell i’m about to have some really unpopular opinions about the edge of sleep tv show
#i remember everyone loving the podcast when it came out#but as someone who was an active fan of audio dramas and podcasts for years at that point the show just. made me frustrated#i realized later after listening to left right game that qcode has this very strange and almost uncanny production behind it#where they get incredibly famous actors to play characters and then bank their marketing on that alone#and the writing is always *almost* good. like sometimes you start to think you might actually be listening to a good show#bc i mean the audio quality and special effects are all stellar#but then the writing and acting is always just a little bit too over-the-top and dramatic for it to feel natural#like the writers don’t know how to portray emotion without visuals so they just make everything Way Too Intense#and each time it feels like they just ask ‘what’s the most insane thing that can happen next?’#’oh ok he’s gonna chop dave’s dick off’#and every time you start to actually like a character they say something misogynistic or just otherwise batshit fucking insane#not to mention that time in left right game where a girl confessed her love to her best friend before LITERALLY DYING FOR HER#only for the best friend in the next scene to be like ‘erm i’m not gay 😐 awkward…’ and she’s NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN#qcode productions are kinda like the fast fashion of fiction podcasts i think#they churn out so many so quickly and they always feel just slightly unnatural or superficial#not to mention when i tried looking into them years ago and it’s impossible to find#literally anything about them. like their minimalist ass website was so insanely insanely vague#and yet clearly they’ve gotta have a fuck ton of money backing them to have this absurd amount of a-list talent on board#(which really i think that is all they care about)#anyways yeah some markiplier fans are gonna get pissed at me for not kissing the ground he walks on. but i was one of you. i AM one of you#and i hate that somebody out there is holding the iron lung movie over us like we’re dogs and if we wanna watch it#we gotta watch this show. which BTW they are giving no details about where to watch it#and seemingly no promotion or marketing material for a show that’s been in production for years coming out in less than 3 weeks#just weird as fuck man. and i don’t even think mark has much to do with it
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i got the lux couture vibe all wrong
vil absolutely blindsided me
so then wait
is it vil “the fairest of them all” and his huntsmen??? is the prefect and grim part of the huntsmen group too??? or is it like a snow white thing???? a mix????
i’m spitballing hhdhdjdjd
(but welp alternate outfit for yuu here we go)
#i am so impatient omg#i could simply ✨wait✨#for the story and the translations#but we’re all insane here it seems#and you know what i love that for us#[—✦ rambling#twst jp#twst jp spoilers#tapis rouge#-✦—]
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Hate that my favorite character is usually the least fav in a popular ship. This happens to me so often that I can feel it when I read a fanfic. That my baby just isn’t as fleshed out as the other half of the couple, that they’re basic personality traits are off, that the blame of everything bad that happened in their canon relationship is on them. So then I’m reading like HEY leave them alone, they’re BOTH freaks!
#duncney is the exception on tumblr at least cuz my mutuals LOVE Courtney but even then I’m like hey now she was bad in the relationship too#blame both of those freaks. like yeah get his ass for cheating but you gotta have them both acknowledge their shit#but for real this happens often and maybe it’s cuz I’m biased but sometimes its worse when I AGREE with my fav character and they keep#getting berated lol. I was pretty into stony when I was an avengers tower truther and Tony would get so babied??? that’s an adult#billionaire!? and they’d be like let’s use this fanfic to make Steve sound insane and demanding but don’t worry it’s still a ship fic… no I#don’t think Steve was wrong for yelling at him about making a murder robot or for siding with the government during civil war??? how is my#fav boy the bad guy??? similarly I’m reading a LOT of caitvi fics and I adore both of them I truly could not pick a fav and yes Cait did#some fucked up shit but I’ll read fics where vi is so aggressive to her and there’s no nuance at all and I’m like my girl would not speak to#her that way! that’s the love of her life shut up!#I didn’t care for good omens s2 all that much but I could barely interact with the fandom after it cuz the way they talked about aziraphale#vs Crowley… and I’m just there like yall- if you actually liked this character you would see the nuances of their choices#and I have so many other examples lol. I’ll go OH they SPEAK TO ME and I ship them with x let me look at the fandom stuff#fandom: this character is ok and not as cool as their other half but as long as they stay in their lane- we’re good! anyway we ALL relate#more to their bf/gf anyway so if something happens between them the fandom is united! me: 🥺character B’s number 1 fan
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best friend decided to move abroad next year for uni i cried so much i’m going to kill him and then kill myself
#we were all acting like he just told us he has a terminal illness fucking insane#anyways he’s not gonna go through with it all of his long term plans fail eventually#but if he does i don’t know how i’m going to survive that he’s the only person that knows what to say when i’m falling apart and i know how#to handle his moods and we’re identical we’re the same i love him so much i can’t stand the idea of him not being around#look at me crying over a man…
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“headcanoning farah as wlw is disrespectful because she’s muslim”
my. my guy. queer people exist in every group. queer muslims very much exist.
“ok but it’s a sin in islam”
WHY ARE WE SUDDENLY JUSTIFYING HOMOPHOBIA WITH RELIGION⁉️⁉️ it’s wrong for a christian to use religion to justify their bigotry, so WHY is it okay to use islam or any other religion to do the same?? i know that i’m comparing the world’s most oppressive religion (christianity) to a religion that’s oppressed, but like… allowing one group to essentially “get a pass” opens the door for EVERY group to get one.
what was even weirder is that the person who made the post about it wasn’t even muslim 😭 they said they looked it up which i believe, but then they had an actual wlw muslim in their comments telling them it wasn’t a big deal— and THEY LITERALLY TOLD THE COMMENTER THAT IT WAS STILL DISRESPECTFUL?? AND OTHER NON-MUSLIMS WERE GOING “grr but it’s a sin >:(” LIKE?? HELLO?? WHY are people not even included in the group talking over ACTUAL MEMBERS OF THE GROUP???
i care very deeply about respecting people’s beliefs and faiths. but once that belief starts to harm others, my respect is withdrawn. the golden rule is that your rights end where another person’s begin. i remember seeing posts from years ago about queer muslims. they’ve always reminded me of queer christians – the vast majority of their faiths hate them, but they do still exist. and it’s possible to be progressive while also being devoted to your faith. i’ve met so many religious folks that are allies and supportive of queer people, so seeing posts like this crop up and gain popularity is just… disheartening. it feels like we’re going backwards after finally making some progress.
#not to mention the fucking astronomical rise in purity culture#so many young people don’t even realize that they’re becoming just as rigid and bigoted#as the older folks they claim to hate and be so much better than#it’s fucking 2023. we have less than 4 months until 2024.#the fact that people– especially people MY AGE– are still using religion to justify hate is insane to me#go back 8 or so years#back when “free the nip” was on the rise and people started reclaiming slurs and celebrating pride#we were somehow more progressive then than we are now#this is such an insignificant situation in the grand scheme of things#but it provides so much insight into the thinking of this generation.#we think we’re being progressive and so respectful and kind and that we’re so much better#because SURELY respecting a religion’s beliefs is the right thing to do#unless it’s christianity. then have at it y’know#but all these people (non-muslims) are doing is justifying bigotry and hatred with the EXACT same arguments that they claim aren’t valid#“you can’t use religion to justify hate!! (unless it’s this religion lol)”#like. that’s not the take you think it is. and we’re never going to progress past these hateful beliefs if you continue to justify it#idk just. as a queer person myself who has a fem oc that i ship with farah because i love her and view her as a very progressive character#seeing people use her to justify outdated bigoted beliefs hurts so bad#her whole character revolves around empowerment. and going against traditions. and not bowing down to what other people say#using her to justify the exact behavior that she fights against just feels disrespectful to HER.#like yes– she’s very likely muslim given where she lives. but she already doesn’t follow several of the practices iirc#and again. ‼️QUEER MUSLIMS EXIST‼️#it’s just. ugh. i’m going in circles atp#i’m going to sleep i’m too tired and migraine-y for the internet
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you can be loved despite the bad in you, or in a way that encompasses the bad within the love, or even for the bad in you, but nothing will ever compare to being loved in such a way that there is no bad.
My anger, anxiety and tears are not bad. My habits, my past, my problems, they’re not bad. it’s simply the way it is. I am greeted with love, there’s no pity, nothing condescending. They’re not trying to fix me or change me. There’s nothing negative in their actions, their words, our relationship, or me.
I have never been able to exist so freely, so openly.
#love#its insane to think i have something this wonderful#such comfort#it’s even crazier to think it extends to 7 people#but here we are#my best friends#my favorite people#we’re gonna grow old together#<3#them <3#<2#best friends#i love friendship#i love my friends#no romo#me and another friend like to say no romo#so during June we made a joke#and i dont even remember how we landed at this point#i think it was something about us all being gay for eachother idfk#so the bit was ‘all homo no romo’#and my one friend#i love him so much#everytime he says he loves me he says all homo no romo#i texted him so much today#we said it back and forth half a dozen times#i wonder if he says it to our other friends#i hope he does#i hope they all know how much i love them#i devote every piece of my heart to them
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