#that would be another post entirely
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I like to think that Leo one day decides to really play around with his portaling and teleportation abilities and see the full extent of them.
Like - continuously throwing one sword and teleporting to it while throwing the next one immediately and repeating this as long as he can to see how far he can keep it up without stopping.
Making little portals in the air that lead right up against the ground so he could potentially just stand on the portal in the middle of the sky.
Ultimate storage system - anything anywhere at any time is available if he knows where to get it (personally my headcanon for why he goes from two satchels to one in the movie.)
Phasing to avoid attacks - like, he could lightly toss a sword a single centimeter and teleport to it, and in that short amount of time he can completely avoid hits.
If they ever do go to space and end up on different planets, with enough training he can just…go there, whenever. Not only would this be great for being well traveled and having more places to go in general, but this also opens up more room for connections and allies that could assist them the next time they need help against a grand foe.
Leo can easily remove injured team members from a fight and get them help without having to account for transportation times.
On that note - Leo’s teleportation in particular acts on a particle level. It’s quite literally breaking him down into particles and remaking him every time he uses it. Both for him and for anyone he uses it on. Who’s to say it can’t be used for healing? At least for basic wounds.
None of this even touches upon the offensive potential of both portals and teleportation. Leo’s abilities flourish more as a support main, but that doesn’t mean those abilities can’t easily be used as weapons - and I don’t think I need to get into how exactly they can be. Portal chopping alone can take on a very different meaning…
Furthermore, I gotta wonder if he’ll always need the swords for this, or if he could one day be able to achieve the same results without them.
My point being - teleportation and portals are super OP. Even with the abilities Leo has in present they are so unbelievably adaptable and so fun to think about in terms of basic mechanics.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#I LOVE teleportation and portals and it’s one of the things that instantly latched me onto Leo#man I didn’t even touch upon how cool the potential for combining the bros abilities would be#that would be another post entirely#but yeah portals and teleportation#ESPECIALLY teleportation are so crazily adaptive and can be used for an insane amount of things if applied correctly#all the boys’ abilities laugh in the face of physics and reality#now I’m wondering if teleporting with someone else and THEN going through a portal WHILE TELEPORTING would mess with both of them#like…the Krang right?#Leo teleported them both through an open portal#wonder how that could mess with them on a particle level hmmmm especially considering the place the Prison Dimension is HMMMM#EDIT: YEAH SOMEONE ELSE MENTIONED IT#but yeah them being hesitant to rely too much on these abilities in battle after the Krang makes sense#BUT#out of battle…now we’re talking#ngl out of battle mystics can be even more fun because they’re just pushing themselves and not being life and death about it#okay I’m gonna go further but consider the potential for transporting massive objects like VEHICLES too#like he could teleport the whole turtle tank or more in that case#and just think of the potential for space travel that could have#okay I’m stopping now#ACTUALLY NO IM NOT#consider Leo being able to stay in the in between of a portal#making it a little space he can access and stay in if he needs a moment alone#the dangers that could amount from it too tho like#godddd the possibilities#I don’t have enough tags to ramble as much as I want to :(
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it doesn't matter how babygirl ur fav man is, he will ALWAYS be ten times sexier as a woman
#PLEASE be respectful in the tags for the love of god#drawing the fav is sm fun when they're genderbent like wow now i can be attracted to ANOTHER version of you😍#im so glad all of nakahara chuuya's fans are lesbians this guarantees my post will reach its target audience#i felt very straight drawing this btw. my nose was NOT bleeding. i did NOT constantly hear a ringing noise.#bsd would infinitely be better if the entire cast was made up of women#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#nakahara chuuya#chuuya nakahara#fem chuuya#also no hat im sry i cant draw hats💔#maybe in another post#lotus draws
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I'm not the kind of person that's like "Here let me fix the canon" usually but like holy crap gen 5 implied a lot of messed up shit about our hero Twilight Sparkle lmao
#It almost says something about the dangers of undertakin responsabilities alone#the nuanced idea of putting heroes on a pedestal being inherently self destructive#hell its kind of funny that Sunny idolizing her is objectively wrong#her legacy was a house of cards!#but I digress#I hope this post isnt swinging a bat at a hornet's nest#but y'know#this is also related to my fics lmao#bc of course#twilight sparkle#sunset shimmer#gen 4#gen 5#pony posting#mlp gen 4#my little pony#friendship is magic#Also like. Celestia herslef regretted banishing luna#and shes happier ruling WITH a partner#meanwhile twilight is like “Ok im not even on my thirties time to undertake all of this”#bonkers! Nuts!#its almost like. entirely accurate#entirely purposefull that her rule would fail completely#Wouldn't it be fucking sick for sunset to try again#to give it another shot!!!#now that shes better#changed for the better by none other than twi#i wrote fics of this lmaooo#fanfiction#writing stuff
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been thinking about the sinnohtrio lately......plus misc other stuff
also, casual ko-fi drop!! get something in this sketchy style starting at $10 woop woop
#finally decided to do a commission test run u_u#pokemon#trainer lyra#trainer kris#trainer dawn#trainer lucas#rival barry#rival silver#ayalumi#hisuian zorua#luxio#timeskip tag#rkgk#anyway it's sinnoh time !!!#still figuring out their designs and lore but this works for now#god's specialest little guys & their very normal bestfriend who they would kill/die for. up to interpretation who is killing/dying#dawn is the platinum protag who meets giratina and becomes champion#distortion world affected her way more than compared to cynthia and cyrus since she's still a developing kid. but hey cool ghost hair!#4-5 yrs later lucas gets blasted to hisui..lost his memory for the three years he's there and when arceus sends him back he's just like Man#the entire time barry is CHILLING PLAYING HAVING FUN#and forever worried abt his friends ): dawn & lucas are soo nonchalant about what happened to them it's a bit concerning to everyone else#design comments umm the only thing that matters is that they still have their og scarves 👍#and i guesss these are spring/summer outfits. winter dawn gets leggings and big coat ok. she already has too much yin energy#btw i use the cleanse tag as the direct opposition to the spell tag even tho that's probably not a real thing LOL)#oh yea barry wears the tower master ribbon 24/7. tower tycoon in training and won't shut up about it (i love him)#character dynamics i will talk abt that in another post if i feel like it... these days i just want to go replay pla aughh
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so, for all the firefighter!yuuji aus that i adore, i never see any ems!megumi, which feels like a crime
#itafushi#fushiita#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#itadori yuuji#fushiguro megumi#i did in fact have positions fleshed out for the entire cast but i'm honestly not into jjk enough to draw it all anymore#so i'll be posting any last wips/unfinished jjk pieces soon#and no this is not based on 9-1-1 im just an emt in training#au#jjk manga#megumi is obviously an aemt here but i feel like he'd go for paramedic in another two to three years#love the idea of him showing yuuji the ropes around the station#they'd ideally be early-twenties at least for all certifications to work with some wiggle room but idk it fits them#i think yuuji would make the ff choice at twenty for the earliest#so by the time the exam rolled around and he finished the academy halfway through twenty-one#megumi would have to pick ems right out of highschool to keep ages in line and give time to move from emt-b to aemt#idk im rambling#fanart#jjk fanart
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You know, in movies where they get a character to essentially glow up to seduce someone, but then they're really, really bad at flirting? That's Charles, seemingly being assigned by the GPDA to swear, and him essentially becoming a wide-eyed country girl in the big city for the first time during this mission* lmao. He tried so hard to make it look casual, but he practically tripped over himself to bring Max and his penalty up at every opportunity in preparation of dropping the swear bomb and possibly joining him in community service 😭✋️.
#f1#formula 1#formula one#max verstappen#charles leclerc#lestappen#*theorised mission#of course cannot prove it but it... it compels me lmao#oh my god charles is that one character in a heist movie that thinks he's in a romcom lmao#but of course it was going to be Charles if they did select a sacrificial lamb#he's the darling he ferrari's pr dream and he's probably the most universally liked driver across the board#he's pr trained FERRARI PR TRAINED#accidental swearing? i think not!#and the media weren't going to go after Charles for an accidental swear the same way they would go after another driver in the same boat#like if it was yuki for instance... god the British media would have been on his case the entire weekend#that's a different more nuanced convo tho than the tags this jokey post#but i think it was definitely strategically thought out who'd drop the swear bomb#again if its the case it was planned which i believe it was but again cannot prove#*than can be had in the tags of this jokey post
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Gothic fiction is characterized by an environment of fear, the threat of supernatural events, and the intrusion of the past upon the present. . . . From the castles, dungeons, forests, and hidden passages of the Gothic novel genre emerged female Gothic. . . . Female Gothic narratives focus on such topics as a persecuted heroine fleeing from a villainous father and searching for an absent mother.
When the female Gothic coincides with the explained supernatural the natural cause of terror is not the supernatural, but female disability and societal horrors: rape, incest, and the threatening control of a male antagonist. Female Gothic novels also address women's discontent with patriarchal society, their difficult and unsatisfying maternal position, and their role within that society. Women's fears of entrapment in the domestic, their bodies, marriage, childbirth, or domestic abuse commonly appear in the genre.
After the characteristic Gothic Bildungsroman-like plot sequence, female Gothic allowed readers to grow from "adolescence to maturity" in the face of the realized impossibilities of the supernatural. As protagonists such as Adeline in The Romance of the Forest learn that their superstitious fantasies and terrors are replaced by natural cause and reasonable doubt, the reader may grasp the heroine's true position: "The heroine possesses the romantic temperament that perceives strangeness where others see none. Her sensibility, therefore, prevents her from knowing that her true plight is her condition, the disability of being female."
🌹 𝔐𝔬𝔯𝔤𝔞𝔫𝔞 & 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔉𝔢𝔪𝔞𝔩𝔢 𝔊𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔠🥀
#lady morgana#merlinedit#merlingifs#merlin gifs#morganaedit#perioddramaedit#merlinladies#katie mcgrath#katiemcgrathedit#twistedshipper#//another remake of an older edit#bbc merlin#morgana pendragon#morgana le fay#bbc morgana#//while i would never say that merlin as a show is gothic#i think that it's portrayal of morgana in s2 regarding the onset of her magical abilities fits the themes of gothic novels#here she is trapped as uther's ward who turns out to be her father#he is the threat and yet at the same time she is led to believe that she is being saved - kept if you will - for him until it becomes clear#that she is his own#i mean isn't it odd that she never has any suitors#led to think that she will marry his own son so she can be kept close by under his watch#//surest way to be blocked by the entire fandom: the tags of this post 💀
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One Piece where everything’s the same except Cora doesn’t die but Law’s still determined to absolutely beat the shit out of Doflamingo anyway. Cut to post Dressrosa where Law gets a VERY frantic phone call from Cora who’s like what the actual FUCK I saw the newspaper this morning you went up against Doffy all by yourself?? You promised me we would do this together you little SHIT do you have any idea how fucking scared out of my MIND I was when I saw the headline and I thought something happened to you, Law I swear to god, and Law’s like yes Cora I went up against him by myself, like HELL I was going to let him lay a single finger on you. And Cora’s like THAT’S MY LINE!!! You’re MY kid and I should be the one protecting YOU!! And Law’s like what with your shitty devil fruit powers? What could you have done? You would have fallen on your ass and gotten hurt or shot or worse and I’d be too fucking worried about you to focus on anything else. And Cora’s like this conversation is NOT over but I’m so so glad you’re okay. And he starts crying and he’s like oh my GOD Law you know how insane Doffy is I could have lost you. And I wouldn’t have even known until after the fact. And Law goes all quiet and he’s like I know I’m sorry but I could have lost YOU and I couldn’t handle that. I couldn’t. And Cora’s sobbing and he’s like I love you so much Law and Law’s like yeah. I love you too 🥺
Meanwhile the Strawhats witnessed this entire conversation and they’re like. Wow okay that was a lot to unpack. Law’s got a dad and they’re very protective of each other and apparently his dad is Doflamingo’s brother?? And Law literally dismantled Doflamingo’s entire criminal organization and DIDN’T bother telling his dad about it?? No wonder he’s pissed. And they’re also like awwwww we’ve never seen Law so soft and vulnerable before 💕 and Law looks at them and he’s like. You repeat ANY of what you just heard and I WILL kill you. And they’re like ‘Mhmm okay yup we hear you loud and clear. Btw what’s your dad like’ with the BIGGEST shit eating grins and Law’s like Okay! Killing you now!! And proceeds to chase them with his katana
#Sorry I just wrote an entire fic on my post. Coughs anyway#Law keeping Cora in the dark about taking down Doflamingo is SUCH a funny concept to me#Bc well. It’s CORA’S brother. If anybody should take him down it would be him yeha#*yeah#But nope Law’s also an overprotective little shit so he’s like I’m going to do this and NOT tell Cora about it.#And when Cora sees the newspaper he proceeds to have a heart attack#Cora: WHAT THE ACTUAL F U C K#Cora: IS MY KID OKAY.#Robin: It’s lovely that you have a father that cares for you so much Torao-kun ^^#Law blushing furiously: Not another WORD Nico-ya#Meanwhile Cora is hopping on a boat and BOOKING it to Dressrosa#Cora: HAVE YOU SEEN MY SON#Luffy: Hehe your dad’s funny Torao! I like him ^^#Cora: Is that your boyfriend#Law: NO??????#OKAY I’M SORRY I’LL STOP LMAO#One Piece#Corazon#Trafalgar Law#Donquixote Rocinante#Shima speaks
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if you're wondering what the big deal is about the louis-philippe sentence in les misérables, it is, in the original french, 760 words long. the subject of the sentence doesn't appear until 95% of the way through, at word #711; the main verb is word #712. the sentence contains 91 commas and 49 semicolons and is almost entirely a list of laudatory adjectival phrases describing the erstwhile king of france. this is perhaps especially notable because les mis is, shall we say, not known for being particularly gung-ho about the monarchy.
this sentence copied and pasted into Word takes up more than one page single-spaced. in the 1800-page folio classique edition, it is fully two and a half of those 1800 pages. that means that les mis is 0.14% this single sentence. more of les mis is made up of this sentence than earth's atmosphere is made up of carbon dioxide (0.04%). if the page count of les mis stayed the same but every sentence was the length of this one, les mis would consist of only 720 sentences total.
incidentally, guess who named hugo a peer of france 17 years before the publication of les mis?
#he also goes on for another six pages after this but by then he has remembered the existence of the full stop#the endnotes say that hugo 'se devait de faire [ce portrait] aussi favorable que possible à la personnalité de l'homme#qui avait favorisé sa carrière' (had to make this portrait as favorable as possible to the character of the man who had favored his career)#in fairness to hugo it's not like louis-philippe was alive to read this. so he wasn't just sucking up to get something out of it#he says at the end of the chapter that this description is 'entirely disinterested'. which like on the one hand i get#bc like i said louis-philippe was not in power and reading this. but otoh victor 'ancien pair de france' hugo u r not exactly unbiased. lol#les mis#lm 4.1.3#i just looked up the english translation and gasp! hapgood turned it into four separate sentences!!!!#so i think y'all who are reading it via les mis letters (which uses hapgood i think?) are gonna miss out on the full experience :/#my posts#linked to#syntax#idk if i got this across but the worst part is that the subject of the sentence - the beginning of the independent clause -#doesn't occur until the very end. so for the first 95% of the sentence you're just waiting for the bass to drop!!!#like reading it out loud you have to raise your pitch at the end of every dependent clause because you haven't gotten to the subject yet#AND THERE ARE SO MANY CLAUSES!! 49 SEMICOLONS PEOPLE!!! FORTY-NINE!!!!#victor hugo would be TERRIBLE as a hype man. he would take so long that the crowd would tear him to pieces with their fingernails#before louis-philippe could come out on stage. and then they'd be so mad at louis-philippe for inspiring him that they'd tear LP apart too#actually i think i'm using hype man wrong. i'm thinking of the guy that gets the crowd hyped up for the main guy before the main guy#makes an appearance. a hype man is the guy who makes interjections during a song. victor hugo would be bad at both of these#like just imagine the announcer at the beginning of a basketball game. and now...your starting lineup...at power forward...#and then he just says the 760-word louis-philippe sentence.#dead. murdered at the hands of the fans. microphone shoved down his trachea.
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As promised, there it is ! 17k words lighthearted NikPrice fic <3 These two have been circling around each other for twenty years and are finally doing something about it.
Summary: Things have been different between John Price and Nikolai as of late. The two men have always been close, but something changed. Now, Price is forced to go on medical leave after a disaster of a mission. Nikolai offers a fishing trip, something he knows his favorite captain enjoys, a nice way to relax, and maybe let their relationship evolve.
#Nikprice#cod nikolai#nikolai cod#john price#captain price#captain john price#nikolai x price#cod#okay WOOOO it's posted#oh I'm stressed out about this one#Sometimes I think my 15 yo self would lose their mind if they saw me write entire stories in another language#anyway I like older men acting like teenage boys around each other#it's pretty lighthearted but there is some talk of homophobia / internalized homophobia so just watch out for this#also alas the sleeping bag action didn't stay in the sleeping bag as long as I thought it would ..........#my writing#oh also I should mention that this isn't my main headcanon for them#and I do picture Price to be older than his canon age#for fun
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lots of takes about rafa’s retirement (and by extension, roger/andy/serena’s too) and what shouldve been his last event etc but idk i think there’s something hopelessly poetic about all of them not really getting the fairytale ending but instead fighting to the bitter end. these legends would not have been where they are today if they weren’t willing to risk the perfect ending, and if it happens to end in defeat then who are we to say that takes away from what they have achieved?
#sorry i am easily swayed by the human spirit n the sheer stubbornness of it all!#love when athletes look destiny in the eye and say . fuck THAT ill do this another 10 years if i have to!!!#like if rafa wanted to retire at the top we would not have witnessed the career he has post 2014/2015#and i understand ppl fixating on davis cup since it is his last event but if u think ab it this entire szn has been a farewell tour no?#anw i get the complaints ab the tribute vid being rushed etc but rafa himself was also very vague ab his retirement timing#im not surprised if the organizers themselves were rushing to get everything tgt LOL
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crozier being kidnapped and telling goodsir not to worry because edward will be there on the morrow, completely sure of it, like it's inevitable. edward in fact immediately going to rally the men to get crozier back and finding they held a vote without him and it's been decided they'll leave without crozier (and without the sick). edward having the choice between being left alone with no chance at crozier's rescue or his own survival, or taking up his duty and leading the men onward. crozier in hickey's camp believing in edward's sense of loyalty and edward not showing up, not knowing how edward fought for him. crozier showing up at the final camp seeing edward mutilated but alive like he told him to, only to die. thinking about edward's absolute sense of loyalty to his captain and duty towards the men tearing him apart and it never saves anyone
#crozier thinking edward left him behind kills me#out there with jopson dying thinking crozier left him behind. things that will haunt me forever#the terror#was having lunch with colleagues (media scholars) who were discussing oscar nominated films#but i was silent for the whole of it bc i was sitting there like *autism creature* <- full of terror thoughts#imagine watching anything else. lmao. not me for the coming three months at the very least#im about to write another post abt edward's loyalty to crozier and how that's both a strength and a flaw in fact#also thinking abt le vesconte holding that vote bc like... w/o crozier edward is ranking#like the hierarchy is in shambles but the vestiges of it are still there#something so insidious abt making sure the men are united in their decision against edward bc dundy Knows what edward would want#and it isn't to leave. so he takes away the option entirely#im not saying this is completely evil. dundy is also acting in a way that he thinks will save the most men (i.e. cutting out the weak links#and not embarking on some desperate rescue mission#but it is so underhanded still#edward little
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Back at it again with another theory: What if Lucanis’ betrayal wasn’t a betrayal at all?
(obviously, spoilers below the cut)
During The Wigmaker Job, we have some dialogue between Illario and Lucanis about their position within both the Crows and the Dellamorte family. Illario wants Caterina to step down so he can take the coveted First Talon spot. Lucanis reassures him that his time is coming, to which Illario makes a snide comment about whether his cousin would ever go against their grandmother’s wishes. When they continue the conversation after the job, Illario states that Lucanis is the potential heir, that he’s her favorite, and that he’s unlikely to say no to her. Lucanis doesn’t argue, only insists that he doesn’t want to be First Talon, and that he hopes she’ll see reason before that. It’s mentioned again in Eight Little Talons - Caterina favors Lucanis. It’s well-known enough among the Crows that Viago and Teia discuss it in front of her (not on purpose, but she doesn’t deny it). He’s her prodigy through and through.
In the opening scene for the Lucanis quest in Veilguard, Caterina is poised, as you’d expect of the First Talon. She’s certain that the body they buried wasn’t her grandson, that it had been altered with blood magic. She doesn’t pose it as a theory, though: she poses it as a fact. It could, of course, merely be her confidence, but there’s another very unusual aspect to the scene – everyone else discusses how Lucanis was clearly betrayed, that someone must have sold him out in order for the Venatori to capture him. Caterina is the only one in that room who never speaks on it. She doesn’t ask for justice, doesn’t mention vengeance, never acknowledges that her grandson was sold out by someone he trusted – perhaps because he wasn’t.
What if, when Caterina comes to him with a plan, with an impossible request, he’s still her favorite prodigal grandchild, and he still does whatever she asks? She’s had him tortured before as a child, has tortured and starved and beaten him herself before, because it makes him stronger and more resistant to it in the future. He says in The Wigmaker Job that he used to hate her for it, but now he understands. He justifies it. All Crows justify it, because they have to - if they don’t, then the cruelty wasn’t for survival’s sake, and their suffering meant nothing. Perhaps he doesn’t even question it. When Caterina tells him that she has a job for him, he takes it.
What if the contract has a caveat? Sure, Calivan must die by his hand by the end of it, a little treat for a job well done, but what if his primary mission is reconnaissance, is discovery? The Venatori are using blood magic to torture and corrupt prisoners. It would behoove the Crows to find out what it entails and how to resist it, before it’s turned back on them. It would have to be someone so deeply, unabashedly loyal to her that when she asked them to infiltrate a Venatori prison, expecting torture at best, their own death at worst, they’d take the job anyway, no questions asked - someone Caterina can trust, certainly, but also someone who has never once said no to her.
And Lucanis has always been a loyal grandson.
#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age: the veilguard#datv#datv spoilers#veilguard spoilers#da posting#maybe it’s also just because she thinks it would make him stronger and that’s how she always justifies it to herself because she’s evil!!!!#she’s MICRODOSING her GRANDSON with BLOOD TORTURE and DEMONS to fashion him into A BETTER WEAPON#I keep hearing people be like ‘oh there’s a moment in the lucanis storyline where I GASPED’#and other than like ‘he was dead the entire time’ I’m like…… what would be that shocking#and you know what would be that shocking??#if he put himself through it on purpose#envisioning a line where he’s like ‘when Caterina told me to go I didn’t ask questions because I’m a good crow!!!!!’#(also I think that would REALLY give a good bite to his demon being SPITE of all things)#also also I still think that Illario kills caterina (if she’s actually dead) but y’know what?#if he does GOOD FOR HIM#also lucanis just happening to be bursting out of his cell when you get there…. SUSPECT#was he just ready to break out at any time? if so why did he stay and get tortured for a YEAR?#why were the guards so afraid of him?? what was he capable of???#‘you’re a crow’ or ‘but you’re not a crow’ ohhhh so you were expecting a rescue?#oh I am CONNECTING the DOTS (I haven’t connected shit) I’VE CONNECTED THEM#voelene#your caterina + illario post started these wheels turning and I am eternally grateful#also tho did update this slightly because I forgot about their conversation at the end of TWJ#also got so wrapped up in my hatred of caterina that I failed to consider another emotionally devastating option:#that lucanis was the one who wanted to go and caterina covered for him#now THAT’S got some bite to it too#and maybe Lucanis volunteering to take on a demon is why it doesn’t possess him fully#it’s like a wynne/anders thing it’s symbiotic
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lestat de lioncourt - on the deer which runs faster than itself. Hélène Cixous, Stigmata / Anne Rice, The Vampire Lestat / Interview with a Vampire (2022) / Catherine Malabou, Ontology of the Accident / Czeslaw Milosz, New and Collected Poems: 1931-2001 / Louis Moe, Allegory / Ovid, Metamorphoses / Ethel Cain, Ptolomea / The Company of Wolves (1984) / Lingua Ignota, I WHO BEND THE TALL GRASSES / Hugh Parry, Ovid's Metamorphoses: Violence in a Pastoral Landscape.
#lestat de lioncourt#lestat#interview with the vampire#fascinating how thematically and psychologically intertwined these two traumatic events (wolves / magnus) are for lestat…#when nicki jokingly asks if lestat became a werewolf after his first near-death experience. like Ok.#there’s ofc this through-line of pushing beyond the limits of form when flight is no longer an option—i.e. transforming.#for characters in myth this is often salvation. their gods aiding them in their time of need#but for lestat there would be no divine intervention.#(unless you count magnus as this force. which. is another topic entirely)#the transformation isn’t the escape; it’s what he’s trying to escape from#‘knowing the only release was the birth or my own death’ —> ‘only death or radical transformation offers any release’ —> ‘the emptiness of#death and still i said No.’ and even then that’s not The End. the Wolf is dead—only you still have to walk all those miles in the snow.#also the stomach-dropping line of ‘But it was happening again.’ so fucking sickening. the admission. the futility of the effort.#as well as gabrielle expressing the Horrific pain of birthing her first child. knowing she had Eight.#it’s about surviving beyond enduring beyond living beyond dying!! even if that endurance is the very thing that damns you#cw rape#cw sa#cw animal death#tvl#the vampire lestat#iwtv#long post#web weaving
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🤍🌷 @stevesbipanic and @the-winged-doe asked to see ugly unpolished unrefined words, soo—
cw & tags: past major character death, grief, attempted time-travel fix-it(s), eddie&robin besties || potential wip
Eddie takes a long drag of his cigarette, the biting hot smoke hitting the back of his throat and clawing its way into his lungs, going as deep as he allows and leaving a permanent mark that brings neither relief nor calmness tonight. His fingers shake where they’re pressed to his lips, but the rest of him is unmoving where he sits on the front porch of their new trailer.
It’s quiet out here. It’s always quiet in Hawkins these days, the city a fucking ghosttown.
And he knows it’s not because of the one they lost. He knows it’s not because of him. But still the emptiness is stark and the silence oppressivem more so than it ever has been.
Everyone still looks for him, months later. Dustin still begins to speak, cutting himself off mid-sentence, and Robin still stands with enough space to either side, like she expects him to just show up and invade her space like the home he made for himself in there.
And somewhere among all that is Eddie. With his very own history. Or, non-history, as it turns out. But history and non-history leave wounds alike, and the memories feel just as real. A small mercy, at the end of the day, for them to feel real when they’re all he has left anymore.
He takes another drag, not quite exhaling before he obliterates the cigarette and fishes for a new one before the butt even hits the ground.
Fumbling with the lighter in his pocket, he only gets as far as placing the butt between his lips before a hand snakes into his field of vision to snag it from his mouth.
“Hey,” he complains halfheartedly but makes no attempt at getting it back, watching instead as Robin comes up to sit beside him, grimacing at the stink of tobacco that must be heavy around him.
“You’re disgusting,” she says with no real heat behind her words.
Eddie shrugs, because yeah, sure. He’s been called worse things. Robin’s called him worse things. This is her being nice. Her complaininig about his incessant smoking is nothing new. What is new is what she does next, placing the cigarette between her own lips and reaching for the light he’s been holding in a loose grip since she arrived.
She starts coughing immediately, pulling a face at the disgusting feeling of smoke in her lungs and tobacco on her tongue. But she keeps going. Eddie can only watch in surprise and mild horror.
“These things’ll kill you,” he says then in an echo of her usual sentiment, aware that he sounds as bewildered as he feels.
“Well,” Robin says, aiming for casual, but quickly interrupted by a wheeze and a cough that’s almost adorable. “Let them try.”
Eddie huffs, a pale little smile lingering on his lips as he leans back against the stairs behind him, resting his weight on his forearm to watch her. There is something captivating about her. Eddie always wonders what it is, wants to study her forever.
Maybe it’s only the lingering traces of Everything Steve Harrington that clings to her every breath, her every move, her every fucking cell, with how much he was a part of her and she of him. Maybe it’s their shared grief that has made Eddie fall a bit in love with her and with the way the moonlight catches in her hair and in the smoke wafting from her cigarette.
But somehow he refuses to believe that all he loves about her is merely the memory of Steve.
Robin, in turn, is kind enough to let him stare. Kind enough to let him find out what it is between them. If this friendship is more than a misguided projection of grief and mourning and trauma; more than co-dependence and the obsessive will to keep this one person in your life. This one person who understands.
After a while of Robin just holding the cigarette between her fingers, becuase no matter how strong her will to self destruct, she never quite got it right with the smoking, Eddie snatches it back before it goes to waste completely. As if pulled in by a string attached to his hollowed out chest, Robin leans back and into him in one smooth motion. It’s too calculated, though, and Eddie can feel how much she sags once she doesn’t have to hold herself up anymore.
He’ll hold her. It’s fine. She gets to rest if she wants to. God knows she needs it.
The night is warm for mid-September, but still Robin shakes against him. Eddie holds her closer.
Silence settles over them, and it’s not an easy one. Silence is never easy anymore, especially with them. He feels so deeply hollow that even the silence echoes in there, creating an ever-present, uncomfortable thrumming of apprehension and anxiety within him. A certain sense of doom, one that can’t quite decide if it’s only an echo itself.
“I wanna stop time,” Robin says at last, the cigarette long dead between Eddie’s fingers, but he somehow can’t bring himself to flick it away. “I don’t want tomorrow.”
I don’t ever want a new day. I don’t ever want another tomorrow. I just want Steve.
They ring in his head still, another echo that only hollows him out further every time it reaches him — Robin, overcome with hysterical grief, screaming and crying, curled up on that hospital floor, her cries quieting down and making Eddie wish she would be loud again, because the quiet was what killed him. The quiet, the whispered words, the declarations that tomorrow could go fuck itself if it came without Steve made him wish, irrationally, desperately, that their roles were reversed. That he could have died and Steve could have lived, and Robin would never have to wish tomorrow never came.
He’s not entirely sure if she remembers the words, too. If she even said them in this world.
So he takes a deep breath, breathes away memories and non-histories, feels the heavy weight of his guitar pick hanging around his neck, resting on the scarred flesh of his chest, and tries not to think of the one string left on his acoustic guitar. Tries not to think of his one last attempt. One last try.
“I know,” he tells her. “Me neither.”
He peers over her head, lifting his left wrist to check his watch. Ten minutes until midnight. Ten minutes until Steve’s birthday.
“It’s not tomorrow yet,” he tries lamely, and Robin huffs — the sound wet and bitter and hopeless, making Eddie’s eyes sting.
“It’s always fucking tomorrow,” she rasps, her voice flat and wavering, and Eddie knows her well enough to know she’s about to cry. And she knows him well enough to do it.
“I know,” he says again, and reaches for his necklace through his shirt. One more attempt. One more try. One more chance. His eyes burn.
She turns to him after taking a moment to compose herself, peering up at him through her lashes.
“Tell me again?”
His heart falls, the tense apprehension vanishing from the air, bur quickly replaced by something a lot more heavy. Something that looks and smells and feels like grief.
They both know he’ll do anything she asks. He can’t really bear saying not to her. And not about this, anyway — she’s the only one who knows.
She’s the one who should have had the chance.
“Which part?” he asks, holding a new cigarette out for her to light it. She does, and the both follow the flame of the lighter Robin always keeps in her pocket these days.
She leans forward and takes a drag. Eddie lets her.
“All of them.“
Eddie sighs, pain welling up inside him, and he closes his eyes against the night sky. “Robbie,” he pleads, but he doesn’t finish his plea. He’ll do it. He’ll do anything she asks.
But before he starts recounting the tales of how he almost saved Steve Harrington, he finds himself saying something he never thought he’d tell her.
“There’s one more.” The words hang in the air, and Robin doesn’t react. Has no idea what’s coming; what he’s about to tell her. The guitar pick is heavy on the necklace around his throat. “There’s one more try. One more chance. I’m… I have one more—“
He can’t even finish the sentence. Can’t bring himself to say it, lest it all be jinxed forever. He doesn’t want to hope. Wants to carry this weight for all eternity and never think about all those times he failed to save someone he was never meant to save at all. People like Eddie, they’re not made to save anyone. Hell, they can’t even save themselves.
Steve was supposed to be the one doing the saving.
And he did. God, he fucking did. But he was never supposed to—
Cold fingers wrap around his own as Robin fits their hands together.
“I hate you a little bit for telling me.”
Eddie nods, trying to focus on the cold hand and the nicotine in his lungs, trying not to let panic and grief and guilt and the heavy weight of one more chance win. “I know.”
“Hey, Eddie?” Robin says after a while, the silence stretching on, and it’s almost midnight now. “Can you— Would you do something for me?”
He turns his head, flicking the butt of his cigarette out into the darkness beyond them. “What’s that?”
“Don’t— Don’t try to, to save him. Don’t— Just… Just maybe, could you celebrate his birthday with him? Make sure he knows he’s… God, make sure he knows he’s loved? Last year, no one really made time on his birthday and we just moved it backwards but God, could you— It’s almost midnight, and—“
“Robbie,” Eddie interrupts her, his voice hoarse and wavering, his eyes burning with tears as he tugs her close and holds her to his chest. “You should go. Don’t you wanna…”
But she’s shaking her head against him with a vehemence that can hardly be misunderstood.
“No,” she cries, and it’s more of a sob than anything. “I think if I ever saw him again, I’d… I don’t know what I’d do. Burn the whole fucking world to the ground for him or some shit, I can’t— I’d probably just cry all the time and that wouldn’t be helpful, really.” There’s a weak, wet laugh that bubbles out of both of them, and Eddie’s wiping at Robin’s face, drying the tears and making way for new ones to fall.
“I’d light a fire for you,” Eddie says, the same weak smile on his lips that Robin meets him with now. “Nineteen fucking fires, you hear me?”
She laughs again, then buries her face in his neck in a way that never quite fit. In a way that Eddie always knew was supposed to be someone else’s neck.
But he’s not here anymore. And Eddie can’t get him back. No matter how much he aches for it, no matter how much he learned over and over and over again how easy it is to love Steve Harrington and how hard, how fucking impossible it is to lose him. Over and over and over again.
And to live without him. This one fucking time they all get. It’s not fair.
And now Robin is asking him to go back one more time and make sure that Steve knows— That he knows.
Somehow the thought of that feels nobler than any attempt to save him, to bring him back; to rewrite history from a lonely boy’s perspective and hope that no one else is reading along.
It feels right, too. Fundamentally and suddenly, and with such an intensity that Eddie knows the decision has been made the second he started telling her.
Still he hesitates. Robin’s sobs have calmed down, and Eddie’s hand finds its way into her hair.
“Do you really mean it?”
She nods.
He nods, too, but slower. Like he’s trying to sway himself. Which way, he doesn’t know.
“Make him happy.”
“Okay,” he decides after a while, feeling hollow and desperate, but feeling purpose burning underneath his skin again. “One last time.”
He unwinds his arms from around her and heads inside to grab his acoustic guitar. The last remaining string, badly untuned because he never dared to touch it, stares back at him in both mockery and invitation. A dare. A chance. A promise.
Outside, Robin is waiting for him, looking anxious. Eddie wants to hug her. He doesn’t, only tightens his grip around the guitar’s neck.
“Listen, Eddie, if this is goodbye or something—“
“It’s a birthday party, Robsie,” he interrupts her, aiming for light, aiming for brave. “I’m coming back right here.”
“I know,” she rushes to say, taking a step toward him and wringing her hands. It’s endearing. It’s genuine. Eddie really is a little in love with her. “But, y’know, you don’t mess with time, and I don’t know what all you already changed before and I don’t wanna know but… If this is goodbye, if something happens, I just wanna tell you that I’m gonna miss you. And that I think you’re really cool. And that Steve’s— he’s really missing out, okay. Okay?”
Eddie breathes, taking in her words and letting them soak into his body, his every last fibre.
“Okay,” he smiles. “Thank you. You’re… I’m kind of in love with you, Robin Buckley. So there had better be no change in the universe, ‘cause that would really suck.”
They smile at each other, Eddie with his guitar and Robin with her lighter, and somehow this feels like a deja-vu. The antithesis to a moment forever burned into his memory.
Make him pay.
Make him happy.
Eddie tugs on his necklace and plays the string before he can think about it too hard; before he can decide otherwise.
Distantly, he hears the church bells announcing midnight as the world around him fades.
🤍 permanent tag list gang: @skiddit @inklessletter @aringofsalt @hellion-child @cryptic-cryptid @hotluncheddie @gutterflower77 @auroraplume @steddieonbigboy @n0-1-important @stevesjockstrap @puppy-steve @izzy2210 @itsall-taken @mangoinacan13 @madigoround @pukner @i-amthepizzaman @swimmingbirdrunningrock @hammity-hammer @stevesbipanic @bitchysunflower @estrellami-1 @goodolefashionedloverboi @awkwardgravity1 @devondespresso @bookworm0690 (lmk if you want on or off, for this story or permanently)
#steddie#steddie fic#eddie & robin#eddie munson#robin buckley#robin and eddie are grieving besties now#me writing another story about death and the inability to grieve?? it’s more likely than you think#this one probably doesn’t make sense yet because they’re both refusing to think about what’s real or think about anything at all#so past present and future need time to develop above the damaged psyche of two entirely too young adults#so bear with me and give us time#anyway i’m posting this despite its unpolished ugliness bc this is as good as it gets#if i were anything like my self this would be a 7k study but as it turns out writing about grief is exhausting#(hi taglist gang i hope it was okay to tag you for entirely too raw a draft for anyone to lay eyes on lmao 🤍)
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I know we're all quite disappointed, now, about all of the things QSMP had going that will likely never happen. So I'm curious; what things can you think of, big or small, did we never get to see? A big arc planned, character growth that never occurred, a build never started or finished, a plot point that went nowhere, a question that was never answered, people who never reunited or met, even just a person reacting to/ seeing something.
Feel free to list as many as you can think of, or rant to your heart's content. We could all do with getting some of that grief of missed potential of our chests.
#its another call to action post! i love doing these because its nice to see what people have to say and to let them vent in a specific space#I'll go first;#I'll always be so so sad that we never got to see Fit and Richas bond as father and son. we got plenty of Ramón and Pac which I'm glad for#but it feels like an entire chunk is completely missing from their family dynamic#it pains me that we'll never know what it would have been like for qFit to treat someone other than Ramón as his child#i remember once Richas asked Fit to promise to take him to a dungeon one day. that was never fulfilled.#qsmp#qsmp discourse#<Just in case#to clarify; reblog THIS POST with your response; i don't mean asks cause that'll just be a bunch of separate posts and get a little messy
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