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callmewrinkles3 · 5 months ago

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Nothing new - DR3 x Fem!OC

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Summary: Some decisions are difficult and bittersweet to make. During rocky times, sadness can be an unwise advisor, but with friends and family around, taking those decisions becomes easier.

Warnings: Fluff. Angst. Sex talk. Pregnancy talk. Mentions of mental health issues, pregnancy loss, injuries and past crashes -we don’t like you, Zandvoort 23- and past abusive family. McLaren being mentioned too, sorry.

Words: 16.2k

A/N: HELLO AGAIN. After a little post this morning we’re finally back with our long-as-hell-oneshot regular schedule. Let’s forget about what happened in Zandvoort for our own mental health 😌 Hope you like this mess of a oneshot, hope you are all well and promise we’re gonna post soon. See you around, kiddos.🫶🏻

June 2024.

If Em had to put a date on it, she'd say it started during Monaco weekend. But in her heart and soul she knew it was before then. It started with the realization that she didn't want to return to work. She wanted to just be Lulu's mum and Dan's wife and do it properly. She couldn't do both that and get back to work as Dan's assistant and do it right.

She simply didn't want to run around people anymore. She didn't want to squeeze through the paddock and the pit lane to organise things and get Dan on track. She was there anyway because she was Dan's wife. She was always going to support him. But now she had a chance to do it because she chose to, not because she had to.

It started while she was standing in the garage after FP3 in Monaco while she watched the sponsors looking at their brands neatly printed on the car. She understood people's passion for cars even though she didn't share them. However, she was disgusted by the men in suits who were only there to be there and take photos. That was the day she admitted she didn't want to go back to work and deal with them.

Em knew it all started with McLaren. She could make a ridiculously long list of the things the orange team took from her and her family. Her and Dan's physical and mental well-being was at the top of the list. A close second was her trust in people when she finally learned how to. She'd begun to make friends and trust and open up to people, but it was ripped away so suddenly it left a brand new wound that she was still trying to heal.

The other major thing they ruined was how much she adored her job. And if she was brutally honest with herself in therapy with Mildred she could admit it hurt the most. She loved her job. At the beginning when Dan told her she was getting paid it felt weird. Being paid by the man she was sleeping with and who she loved? It was strange. But she loved the job and the work she did. It gave Em a reason to be in the paddock and spend time with her boys. Working by Blake's side every day made her happy. She had a reason to spend basically every day with her best friend. Even when they joked they were sick of each other, Blake would give her a hug and swear he couldn't do it without her.

She used to find joy in planning their trips and booking places for dinners. It was fun to colour code schedules so they could tell at a glance what could be moved if needed. She liked running around the paddock with her pit access badge around her neck, her tablet in her arms, and her boys by her side. While she hated the spotlight and the whispered comments about her, at least at Renault she could deal with it. She had to deal with it and learned how by the time they arrived at McLaren.

When their bags became orange and Dan’s half of the wardrobe was filled with the colour it became a constant struggle. Work was a battle for her to be heard and listened to and able to get her point across, and then thanks to the poisonous atmosphere it affected her home life. And then it all fell apart.

McLaren broke them and it took a miracle to get them back together. Love gave them the patience to work on themselves and their relationship. They put the pieces back together once at a time, gluing them into place until they could hold. But even then something inside Em just felt dead.

Something in her had broken, and Dan couldn't help her fix it like he’d helped with everything else. She couldn’t even admit it until now. Back then she thought it was everything she’d lost in such a short space of time - Dan, their relationship, their home and her family. Then she blamed the miscarriage. She blamed her parents and everything they said and did. She also blamed Michael because he made everything more difficult even though she knew she shouldn’t.

There were times when she didn’t feel that broken part inside. She had her Danny, their family, and rebuilt their home together. She had his ring on her finger and their little wedding to promise they loved each other and then their big one to tell the world. They had their sunshine girl and there was nothing that could have prepared Em for the love she had for her baby Luna. But that broken love for her job never came back.

She wasn’t in a position to work when she got back to Dan’s side. She couldn’t think straight at the time, so it was ridiculous to consider working. She knew Blake and Dan agreed and said yes when she said she wanted to return. She knew it was their attempt to distract her from the mess of their lives, but it never happened, at least not in full capacity. Looking back, Em was aware it was all a terrible need to feel like things were normal in some way. It was her way to feel like she didn’t blow out her whole life for not having the courage to stand up to Dan and all her fears and ghosts.

If she could barely gather the strength to make it to the paddock as Dan’s girlfriend, she wouldn't have the strength to work like she used to. The only thing that kept her going were Dan and Blake. She also knew she could stay hidden away from the world when she wasn't in the garage. Strength temporarily returned when McLaren decided to fight against Dan. She could barely keep herself standing, but she lifted and carried Dan, putting herself together as well as possible to keep him moving. Dan had been doing that for her for months, so she had to do it for him.

The one last time the strength to work came back was when she had to walk into the MTC and face McLaren and the people she despised. She had to fight for the man she loved. She got there fought them and won, but all the energy was drained after that. It was a brief period and then her pieces started falling apart again.

As the months passed the attention never turned back to that. She hated herself for leaving Blake on his own when he had too much on his plate, but she needed to focus on herself and Dan. She needed to hug him, kiss his cheeks and remind him that it was only a matter of time until they could be home for a year. In some months they would burn everything that was orange and had the name McLaren on it. It was a matter of time, then they could figure out what they were doing next.

Em thought she could do it. She could keep it together for what was left of the year, but then she had to break her hand. Then everything was a constant battle with Michael, the criticism about her husband wouldn’t stop no matter what he did, and on top of that they faced her parents. By the end of the year Em could barely leave the bed, and any work-related matter was long forgotten inside one of her suitcases.

Blake insisted she didn't have to return to action any time soon. Summer break was supposed to be used to disconnect and that's what Em and Dan needed to do. They could think about it later in the year, but in the meantime, they deserved some time off to heal, plan their wedding and be with their family. Blake had the same plan and after spending some time with Em and Dan in Perth, he was gonna fly home for the holidays to be with his family, but Charlie happened. He wasn’t expecting to meet and fall in love with a gorgeous, brilliant woman who was head over heels in love with him too. When it happened everyone was happy that it did. If someone deserved love and happiness that was Blake, so it was wonderful to see it come true.

The idea of working became even less appealing to Em. Seeing her husband smiling again at a car launch was a sign she hadn’t seen in a while. The sight of Dan actually having fun again doing press and sponsor work was something Em thought was long gone. Even seeing Blake smiling so bright and big while looking at his phone made Em forget how terrible the previous year was for them.

That's how months passed and with them the incredibly excited news about their pregnancy. Then came their wedding, Scotty and Chloe’s wedding and Dan testing for Red Bull. Everything happened so suddenly that Em had to keep her focus on her Danny and that's what she did. By then, Em was in some meetings, but she was mostly on the side, holding Dan’s hand and promising everything would be alright. After all the difficult things they faced through it had to be alright for him and his career.

Dan breaking his hand wasn’t on her bingo card that year, making it all messy and complicated. He was finally in a car and had to step to the side before he could even taste it. Em never thought that at seven months pregnant she would be holding her husband’s good hand as he lay on a hospital bed ready for a multiple fracture surgery. She never thought she would have to sit there promising her husband everything would be alright while she was fighting one of their former friends for talking about Dan’s injury to the press. The last thing any of them needed was Michael sneaking into their business. Em was already nervous enough and it wasn't good for her pregnancy.

Em hated to say it, but the accident was part disgrace and part blessing. Thanks to it they got more time off, allowing them to return to Perth for some extra days. They had the chance to be with their family for Grace’s birthday, Blake got to spend some extra days with Charlie, and they knew more than anyone how they needed to cherish extra time with their loved ones. Dan and Em even had some time to slowly putting something together at Lulu’s nursery in the farm, so something good came out of it.

As months passed by, things got crazier with organizing their lives and Dan returning back to racing, but nothing ever got as crazy as when Lulu finally arrived. Their whole universe changed, their world shifted and nothing really mattered after that.

There was a lot of mess in their lives, but they were happy and for the first time, things seemed to be going their way. Maybe that is why Em found it so difficult to think about finishing her maternity leave at the time. It was agreed that Em would take a few months off and then we would see how things were going and how she felt at that time. She was thankful to be able to spend as much time as possible with her newborn baby. She was grateful for the opportunity to spend this time with her family, and she made the most of it. That's why Em decided it was best for her to stay off work.

Not only was Dan too busy, but Lulu was so tiny. If Em was working Lulu would be right there with them in the paddock and Charlie was gonna be looking after her, but Em just couldn’t. It wasn’t about Charlie. She was like Lulu’s second mum. They knew Charlie and Blake would always love her and protect her, that's why they were her godparents. It wasn’t them, but Em not willing to take her attention from her daughter. She really wanted to be with Lulu and spend time with her. In one of her therapy sessions, Mildred told Emma it was perfectly normal and understandable. Being a first time mom, considering all the things that have happened to them and how much they wanted to have a baby, it was logical that given the option Em would want to be there with their daughter all the time. Em wanted to take that chance. Dan always reminded her how privileged and lucky they have a good life not worrying about a lot of things. For once she was gonna pay attention to her husband and enjoy doing nothing except looking after her family. Em finally had the life and family she never thought she would have and wanted to enjoy them.

Admitting it to herself was one of the most difficult things Em had to do in a long time. She felt that she had no reason not to work. There were two voices in her head: one was her mother's voice telling her to stay at home and not work because that was what a woman should do and the other was her own feelings of regret about not working. She had no idea what it was like not to work. Emma has worked non stop since she was seventeen and had to take care of herself. Having a baby was no excuse because there were all those other mums out there having their kids, doing their jobs, and running their homes. Not loving her job anymore shouldn’t be an excuse.

As Mildred told her, being with her family was a strong reason. Not wanting to compromise her mental health was comprehensible. Not wanting to do it was a perfectly fine reason too, but if Emma needed something stronger, then her family was good enough. The main reason why Emma started working with Dan was to help him and Blake, so now she could keep helping as a wife and a friend instead of as an assistant. Priorities shifted and hers changed. Her priority was her family and it was perfect.

Before she took any decisions Emma decided she needed to talk to Blake and then to Dan. Even when back in the day Dan was the one paying her salary and technically her boss, Blake was the one who worked side-by-side with Em. For the world Blake was Em’s boss, but they worked together to make things run as smoothly as possible. After all the messes she made she wanted to talk to him before making any decision, especially if it included him.

“If technically I didn't want to work again, what would happen?” Em asked Blake once they were alone for more than two minutes. Charlie was napping, Dan was out on a short walk with Lulu and Steve, so it was only her and Blake as she worked on dinner.

“Nothing. I mean, I miss working with you, but that doesn’t mean I can’t ask you to double check one small thing for me cause you are going to be right there sitting in front of me.” Blake shurgged as he drank his coffee.

“Really? You won’t be mad at me? And how many cups did you have today, B?”

“Emma Charlotte Ricciardo, I swear to God. Really? Ain’t we way past that? You know I won't get mad at you. And don't ask me such thing as how much coffee I had.” He smiled, knowing the answer was probably too many cups. Between work, a wedding being planned on the other side of the world, and helping care for his baby niece Blake was tired, but he was a happy man.

“Fine. But about the other thing, I just wanna know, alright?"

“Timmy, I’ve been waiting for you to say the word for months. I knew you weren’t coming back for some time now, and if I'm honest I’m happy you are not. It means you’ve got something way better going on. You’re too good for all this mess, Em. You’re seriously too damn good for this weird circus."

Em smiled shyly as she looked at the water starting to boil in front of them. She really had something good going on in her life. She really had an excellent reason not to go back. The fact that Blake agree was a big relief. It was a big weight off her shoulders. “I wanted to. I really did. Working with you again would be so good. But I… They need me, Blakey. They need me and I need to be Lu’s mum and Dan’s wife and nothing else.”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me, Em. If that’s what you want, then you'll do that.” Em simply nodded at her friend’s words. She couldn't imagine doing anything else. She hoped it would be different in the future, but not at the moment. “Hey, you know how proud I am of you? That shy woman next door is this brilliant woman with a husband and a baby and a life. And a pretty cool brother, too. That’s pretty cool, Timothy.”

“You’re a silly man. But you’re right. I can’t believe it either. It’s kinda scary, you know?”

“Nothing and especially nobody will take that from you. I promise you. You just look after them and let me make sure you’re ok too. We’re a family, Timmy. We don’t need to work together to look after each other. You’re my sister and that's it. I love you no matter what. And I know Charlie feels the same way."

The shy girl Blake met all those years ago and was absolutely lonely and scared of everything wouldn’t have asked for a hug, but it was another story with the actual Emma. She didn’t hesitate, leaving the spoon on the table and moving the sauce she was making away from the fire to give Blake a hug. Her brother was on her top five list of Best hugs in the world, and she would steal one whenever she could. That afternoon seemed like an excellent time to get one.

“I love you too, B. And I love that wife of yours." Emmy smiled, resting her head comfortably against Blake’s chest.

“Three months and she’ll finally be my wife. Can you believe that?” As Blake kissed the top of her head, she could feel him smiling at her. Em didn’t think she ever saw someone as excited to get married as Blake was. Dan was happy and excited when they did too. He always said meeting Em, getting her back, marrying her and having Lulu were the highlights of his life. She never doubted her husband's words, but Blake was next level of happiness and joy. He was like a happy kid with candy and a brand-new toy, still pinching himself to check it was not a dream. At least once a week he asked Charlie and even Dan and Em if it was really happening, simply because he couldn’t believe he was marrying the love of his life.

“Honestly I can believe it. But it was the best decision you ever made, darling."

"That and saying hi to my nice new next door neighbor. That was an excellent call too.” Blake insisted, giving Em one last squeeze and kiss on the top of her head before he finally let her make dinner.

“It was a smart idea. Second smartest after proposing to Char.” Em smiled, grabbing the wooden spoon to stir the sauce. After filling it, she placed it in front of her friend. “Now try it and let me know if it's good or not."

“What do you mean if it's good? Mama Emmy's sauce is always good." Blake grabbed the spoon and ate it all up. As he smiled, Em could tell what he was thinking about it. She couldn't help but smile back. She knew they all loved her magical sauce, and that made her feel special. Em always felt a some sense of pride as she watched her family enjoy the food she made. She always thought her cooking was more about love than skill, so it filled her with joy to know it put a smile on their faces. "It makes so much sense that you married into an Italian family. This is so incredible it's ridiculous."

As simple as her talk with Blake was, she was terrified of talking to Dan. He wasn't going to say it was a terrible idea or anything like that. She knew her husband would support her in whatever she did. He was always supportive and made sure his loved ones had smiles on their faces. But admitting it to Dan would make it real. If she admitted it to him, then it would be like finally admitting it to herself and signing the resignation letter. Talking to Dan meant making it final. It was terrifying, even when she knew it was the right thing for her and her family.

Before Emma could find the right moment to do it, Dan found it for them. With Lulu in the park and grocery shopping with her godparents, Dan and Em were at home to give them some grown-up time. They never complained. They loved spending time with their daughter, but Charlie insisted.

"Do married couples stuff, alright? No work, just normal people stuff. We're gonna go get some candy and swing in the park before we get sick of you, mum and dad". Those were Charlie's words as she held Lulu and Blake laughed, grabbing Lulu's bag ready to leave. It was a kiss to their daughter before they walked out the door. Soon after, Dan dragged Em to the couch.

She always said she had the superpower of knowing what Dan needed, and that day it was to hug his wife. He needed to wrap his arms around her body and hold her as close as possible. It took Em a minute to realize it wasn't about him, but about her. Dan knew something was bothering her, so he held her until she found the words. He knew it could take a couple of minutes or even hours, but he waited patiently.

"You're waiting for me to say why I'm overthinking, right?" Em finally broke the silence as she placed kisses over his neck and shoulder.

"I have all day, so there's no hurry." Dan's patience was one of the things she admired about him. Or at least his patience with her. It gave Em a safe space where she knew there was no hurry or rush. No matter what her fears or anxieties were, no judgment was made. Dan understood better than anyone else that some conversations needed time, so he held her safely, giving her all the time she needed.

“We gotta go back to mum and dad when Lu is back, so not all day."

“You know Blake and Charlie won't have any issues looking after her for the night if we need it."

“You and I both know it won’t happen. A day off at home? She’s gonna be squeezed between us as soon as she crosses that door." she smiled, feeling how Dan nooded in agreement. Days off were family days, so there was no way Lulu was going to spend the night away from them. But Dan was right and Em didn't want to have that conversation with their daughter at home. “I don’t need you to promise me you won’t get mad, right? ”

“Not at all. You know you can tell me anything you want, Emmy." Dan assured, looking down at her. His big brown eyes always made Em feel better. Dan always looked at her with love and adoration, exactly the kind she thought didn't exist before they met. Combined with the sweet way he kissed her, it gave her the strength to finally talk to her husband.

“I just- I don’t think I want to work anymore? I mean, not forever, but for some time? It's not about you or B. You know I love working with you both, but... I don't know, baby. I guess F1 is not my cup of tea, y'know? I don't want to work there, Dan. Not in the paddock and around all that craziness. I thought it was fun for a while, but then I got tired of it. They ruined the fun for me. I can't do it anymore. I keep showing up because it's your job, but I like it less and less every day, Dan. There are so many people around that it's hard to cope. I know it won't be healthy for me to work again. Not there and especially when Lu is so small and you need-"

Emma suddenly stopped talking when she realized what she was gonna say. She didn't want to overstep, but Dan kissed her before continuing talking for her. “You can say it. I need you. I really need you. I know it. I’m not ashamed or scared to admit I need my wife and daughter by my side. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit it."

“And I need you. I need my family. I need to just be your wife and Lulu’s mum. I want to just be just Em for a while. I have to look after my family, baby. I want to keep things like this and be available for my babies. And it's scary because I don't even know what it was like not to work. The only time I didn't do it was when I was sick. And there’s this voice inside my head saying it's the wrong thing to do, but I really need it."

"Remember the day I knocked on your door asking what to do with Red Bull?" Dan asked, taking Em's hand to kiss her wedding rings.

"You at my door with lemon cake, wine and the biggest puppy eyes? How could I ever forget?". It felt like yesterday even though it had happened six years later. She would never forget his crazy curls and handsome face on the other side of the door asking if he could come in. If she closed her eyes she could feel the nerves in her stomach for having him there. She even remembered his perfume filling the room. It was his eyes that Emma remembered most. He really looked like a kicked puppy. He had a mix of confusion, sadness and worry that made her want to hug him and kiss the frown away from hid face. There was no way she would ever do that, so instead she sat there in front of him, trying to be helpful to the the man she was convinced that was never going to look at her as more than just a friend.

"I was shitting my pants all the way to your place. I had no idea how to knock on your door and say I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to see you so badly you have no idea." Dan confessed, making Em smile shyly. She had no idea about that day. She couldn’t believe Dan was scared about it, but deep down she knew her Dan was a shy guy. The man behind that extrovert personality and big smile was still a shy person who took months, a difficult race, and an unbelievable amount of drunkenness before kissing her for the first time.

"We were just kids, huh?"

"Yeah, we were just kiddos. We really were just kids trying to figure shit out. But you remember what you asked me that day?"

"The wrong thing probably?"

“It wasn't wrong, baby.” Em couldn’t help but smile at her husband. She wasn’t surprised by his answer. Despite the fact that it probably wasn't the best thing, Dan was sure Em never said anything wrong. For Daniel, his wife was always right in some way. He was convinced she was the brightest, smartest, wisest person in the world, so his Emmy was absolutely right. She knew she had fucked up by not telling him not to sign with Renault and especially with McLaren. Em knew she should have stopped him right away, but Dan always insisted she hadn't said anything wrong. Em only gave him advice, but he took the decision on his own. “You asked me what I wanted. You told me to follow my gut. You told me to listen to my heart. That’s what I did. Now I'll tell you the same thing. What does your heart say? Not your head, just your heart and guts."

It was such an easy call. Because it was such an easy decision, Em didn't have to think twice before saying it out loud. “I want to be with you and Lu as much as possible, Dan.”

“Then we do that.”

“What about the brand?”

“Thats not a problem, Em. We keep doing what we've done so far. It's working just fine, but if it doesn't, we'll figure out a way. It's not like you won't give me your opinion. You know you can be in meetings whenever you want. It's alright. And if you ever want to go back, you can do it. Enchanté will always be our thing. It was our first real project together, and that won't change. It's ours no matter what. And if one day you want to do something completely different, that's fine too. You have all the choices and time to decide. We're lucky to be able to do this without worrying about many things, so just stick with your heart."

"I just don't wanna disappoint you, Dan. And it won't be forever"

"You could never do such a thing, baby. The fact that you're doing this in part cause I need you? Cause our family needs you? I'm nothing but grateful, Wrinkles. I just want you to be happy. If it lasts forever but you're happy, that's it. You know what they say, 'Happy wife happy life'. Here at home it's more like 'Happy wife, happy baby, happy husband, happy life'. If my baby mama's good, then we're all happy."

"Thank you. For everything you do for us. And for loving me so hard and not giving up on me."

"Loving you is the easiest thing to do, Mrs Ricciardo." After one long hug the decision was finally taken and sealed with a kiss. It was the right thing for everyone, so Em was happy to accept it.

The one thing they agreed on was to take care of the paperwork for her resignation in another moment, probably during the summer break after Charlie and Blake’s wedding. For too imany reasons it wasn’t the ideal moment to deal with it, so they would rather wait and focus their energy and time in other more important things.

The last couple of months - to not say the last couple of years - have been an emotional roller coaster for them. They had been doing every single possible thing so Dan could focus his energy on work, that’s why after Monaco he decided to take drastic measures. Dan talked to his team, friends, and family, but then his with wife. She knew what was coming when they sat in bed. She knew what her husband asked everyone. For six long, difficult, crazy, and beautiful years, they had most of their crucial conversations and made most decisions from their bed. It ended up becoming their tradition and none of them planned to change it, especially not that night.

Em held his hands and brought them to her hips, kissing his wedding rings before the question fell over them. She knew the answer to "What can I do to not waste that much energy during race weekends?" The team would do its part by cutting sponsorship presentations and marketing obligations. Blake would take care of more things, but Em could only do one thing. The second they found out Em was pregnant they made a deal that she would take care of most things if Dan was working. She reminded him of their deal the second Dan had an AlphaTauri contract over the table ready to sign. Now the only option was to reduce family time during race days. No more getting up extra early to cuddle Lulu and give Em some extra minutes of sleep as he fed her and changed her for their day. No more staying up extra late to cuddle their baby to sleep and do their bottle-pjs-storytime routine at night and then have five extra minutes of cuddling with Em. There was no more running around the paddock to see them for a second when he had more than three seconds free. The other thing that Em decided to give up on over the weekend was sex. It was the first thing Em cut from the list, choosing to let it go long before she decided to do full parenting over the weekend on her own. She was Dan’s wife, but she was also Luna’s mom and they swore to put their daughter first no matter what.

She was terrified of what could come of all that. After all they had been through Em was aware of how strong their relationship was. She knew where their priorities lay and how it worked for them, but it was scary. They changed from a pair of scared young adults with a highly active sexual life who could barely stay away from each other and keep their clothes on when they were together to a married couple and parents of a six-month-old daughter. Their sex life was still active and they still loved it, but things were different and that was scary. She knew herself and her Dan, but fear was always there. She knew Dan was never gonna allow it, but Em was terrified all those decisions were going to push her husband away and ruin her family.

Emma knew that was not the answer Daniel wanted. There was a list of things Dan wasn’t willing to do. Leaving his wife and daughter to the side and spending even less time with them was not one of those things. They were the best part of his life. He had his family and friends and loved them to pieces, but Em and Lulu were the air he breathed. His girls were the center of his world and who he loved more in the entire universe. They had his whole heart in their hands and he was happy it was all theirs. They were the whole reason for absolutely everything and he was not ashamed of saying it out loud. That's why he didn’t want to spend less time with them. He knew the sacrifices they were making for him to live his dream. Em had to live the pregnancy in a rollercoaster that was nothing like the chill year off Dan promised. She had to travel the world, live part of the time in Italy, help their friends in a long distance relationship, lift Dan when he broke his hand and see him get back to racing all in half a year. Then when she was absolutely not ready for it they had to move from the comfort and happiness of their lives in Perth all the way back to Europe when she should be home getting used to being a first-time mom and all that it brought with it. They had to deal with the insanity of being first-time parents and a new season while having a legal battle with Emma’s parents. At six months old Lulu visited more countries and had more stamps in her passport than many adults had in a lifetime. They never signed for that life, especially not Lulu, so he wanted to make it count. He wasn’t making them pass through all that to end up outside the points on a race weekend. Daniel wouldn't do that to them. He wasn’t willing to be that kind of husband and father.

When she saw her husband's eyes shining with tears, the fear only became stronger. Em could see how he rethought and reconsidered every option and decision he made. Dan promised again and again that she would be his top priority. He swore their child was going to always be the top priority in his life, but now it was all slipping from his fingers. He had counted hours to be a husband and dad for three or four days, and now his job was taking that away. Emma felt like the villain because she was taking it away from him even if it was for the sake of his career. She was feeling like the most awful person in the world when she did it. She felt like the worst mother and wife that ever existed when her husband whispered “Baby please don’t take that from me” as she mentioned how night routines would be her thing. Her main job was to look after Lulu and Danny. Her one thing was to protect them and help them but instead she made her husband cry silent tears. She was a failure and it felt like she was bringing her marriage to an inevitable ruin, but she had to do it for Dan. Work was work and she knew that from day one, no matter how it hurt. Between tender kisses all over his face, Em promised them they would be there no matter what. She was gonna be right by his side with their baby, holding his hand and loving him as much as she always did. Their schedules might change, but not their love for each other.

The one thing they agreed on was to take care of the paperwork for her resignation in another moment, probably during the summer break after Charlie and Blake’s wedding. For too many reasons it wasn’t the ideal moment to deal with it. Instead, they would rather wait and focus their energy and time on other more important things.

The last couple of months - to not say the last couple of years - have been an emotional roller coaster for them. They had been doing every single possible thing so Dan could focus his energy on work, that’s why after Monaco he decided to take drastic measures. After talking to his team, friends, and family, Dan spoke to his wife. She knew what was coming when they sat in bed. She knew what her husband had asked everyone. For six long, difficult, crazy, and beautiful years, they had most of their crucial conversations and made most decisions from their bed. It became their tradition and none of them planned to change it, especially not that night.

Em held his hands and brought them to her hips, kissing his wedding rings before the question fell over them. She knew the answer to "What can I do to not waste that much energy during race weekends?" The team would do its part by cutting sponsorship presentations and marketing obligations. Blake would care for more things, but Em could only do one thing. The second they found out Em was pregnant they made a deal that she would take care of most things if Dan was working. She reminded him of their deal the second Dan had an AlphaTauri contract over the table ready to sign. Now the only option was to reduce family time on race days. No more getting up extra early to cuddle Lulu and give Em some extra minutes of sleep while he fed her and changed her. No more staying up extra late to cuddle their baby to sleep and do their bottle-pjs-storytime routine at night and then have five extra minutes of snuggling with Em. There was no more running around the paddock to see them for a second when he had a moment free.

The other thing that Em decided to give up on over the weekend was sex. It was the first thing Em cut from the list, choosing to let it go long before she decided to do full parenting over the weekend on her own. She was Dan’s wife, but she was also Luna’s mom and they swore to put their daughter first no matter what.

She was terrified of what could come of all that. After all they had been through Em knew how strong their relationship was. She knew where their priorities lay and how it worked for them, but it was still scary. They changed from a pair of scared young adults with a highly active sexual life who could barely stay away from each other and keep their clothes on when they were together to a married couple and parents of a six-month-old daughter. Their sexual life was still active and they still loved it, but things were different and that was scary. She knew herself and her Dan, but fear was always there. She knew Dan was never gonna allow it, but Em was terrified all those decisions were going to push her husband away and ruin her family.

Emma knew that was not the answer Daniel was looking for. There was a list of things Dan wasn’t willing to do. Leaving his wife and daughter to the side and spending even less time with them was not one of those things. They were the best part of his life. He had his family and friends and loved them to pieces, but Em and Lulu were the air he breathed. His girls were the center of his world and who he loved the most in the universe. They had his whole heart in their hands and he was happy it was all theirs. They were the whole reason for everything he did, and he was not ashamed of saying it out loud. That's why he didn’t want to spend less time with them.

He knew the sacrifices they were making for him to live his dream. During the pregnancy, Em lived a rollercoaster ride that was nothing like the relaxing year off Dan promised. She had to travel the world, spend part of the time in Italy, and help their friends in a long distance relationship. She had to lift Dan when he broke his hand and see him return to racing in half a year. Then when she was absolutely not ready for it they had to move from the comfort and happiness of their lives in Perth to travel all the way back to Europe. She should have been home getting used to being a first-time mom and all it brought. If it wasn't enough, they had to deal with the insanity of being first-time parents and the upcoming season while having a legal battle with Emma’s parents. At six months old Lulu visited more countries and had more stamps in her passport than many adults had in a lifetime. They never signed for that life, especially not Lulu, so he wanted to make it count. He wasn’t making them go through all that to end up outside the points on a race weekend. Daniel wouldn't do that to them. He wasn’t willing to be that kind of husband and father.

When she saw her husband's eyes shining with tears, fear only became stronger. Em could see how he was rethinking and reconsidering every option and decision he made. Dan promised she would be his top priority. He swore their child would always be the top priority in his life, but now it was slipping from his fingers. He had counted hours to be a husband and dad for three or four days, and now his job was taking that away.

Emma felt like the villain because she was taking it away from him even if it was for the sake of his career. She felt like the worst person in the world when she did it. She felt like the most horrible mother and wife that ever existed when her husband whispered “Baby please don’t take that from me” as she mentioned how night routines would be her thing. Her main job was to look after Lulu and Danny. The only thing she wanted to do was protect them and help them, but instead, she made her husband cry silent tears. She was a failure and it felt like she was bringing her marriage to an inevitable ruin, but she had to do it for Dan. Work was work and she knew that from day one, no matter how it hurt. Between tender kisses all over his face, Em promised them they would be there no matter what. She would be right by his side with their baby, holding his hand and loving him as much as she always did. Their schedules might change, but not their love for each other.

But even knowing it was temporary, the guilt didn’t go away for weeks. They had one week off after Monaco and half of it was both of them feeling guilty about their decisions. Dan promised that the week would be exclusively for the three of them, and it started by taking Lulu to the beach Dan bought Em over their first weekend together in Monaco.

Em couldn’t help but think Monaco was cursed for them. They cursed it after getting together. Year after year, it was one terrible thing after another. It was so awful that she didn't like being there at all. She knew they had to for legal reasons, but she didn’t like to spend more than necessary there. Monaco had so many memories Em felt like she couldn’t breathe there. After they got back there, they moved their things to another apartment on the opposite side of the city. The apartment had a beautiful view, two rooms and a more spacious kitchen than the old apartment had, but Em still wasn’t happy. Em couldn’t help but feel out of place because she didn’t belong there. She was still the girl who loved her simple life in London. She loved being home and having a normal life doing normal things such as grocery shopping, fixing dinner for her family and doing laundry. She could tell Dan wasn’t happy to be there either. He could see how his wife was uncomfortable and his daughter was less chilled out. Lulu wasn’t grouchy, but she got irritated faster when they stayed there.

The one happy day they had in Monaco after their terribly difficult conversation was when they decided to return to the beach where they had been all those years back after they slept together for the first time. It was Dan’s desperate need to spend time with his family who brought them there, and Em was delighted they did it. Seeing Lulu giggling was one of the counted good things that happened to them there in the last few years. Maybe it was the one happy thing that happened to them. Watching her husband holding their daughter so she could wet her tiny feet in the ocean was one of those memories that would last forever. Watching her water-loving baby smiling at the sensation of the waves hitting her skin was all Em needed to feel lighter even if just for a few hours. That and being held by her husband as he promised everything would be alright kept her going through the week.

Having some family time in New York and traveling to their house in Austin also helped ease her heavy heart. She knew it was a matter of days until they started their ‘No more distractions over the race weekend’, but first they had some normality. They lived a couple of days like any normal family, doing mundane things any couple with a baby would do. Doing the dishes at their home and taking Lulu to the park felt like a privilege and Em soaked it up. She enjoyed every second with her loves until they had to fly to Canada.

When they reached Thursday and press day it was all gone and the reality of her words hit her as hard as possible. Waking up to Dan still asleep and not sitting down in bed holding Lulu almost brought tears to her eyes, but she stopped herself. She took a deep breath to control her emotions, trying to keep them together. The last thing Dan needed was to wake up with his wife crying. He had been through that too many times in the last couple of years. Two years earlier they were in Montana, crying all day and giving Dan the chance to walk away from their relationship before heading to Canada. When they were there she had to ask Dan to keep Michael away from her for some time because she just couldn’t handle his comments. Things were completely different, but memories weren’t easy and she knew it. It was not easy, it was still somehow in the back of his head, that’s why Em didn’t want him to add more worries to his already long list.

It was her job. One of the reasons Emma left her job as Dan's assistant was that she didn't love it any more. She had a much longer list, including her mental health on top. But one of the most significant reasons was focusing on her family. Her priority was her family. The first two people on her list were her Dan and her Lulu. She got up, made her way to the bathroom and walked straight to their daughter to start their morning in silence while Dan rested.

She loved the quiet, soft, slow moments with Lulu in the morning. Em loved cuddling and feeding her baby while ignoring the world outside their room. Lulu’s big brown eyes looking up at her were one of the most incredible things that ever happened to her. She couldn't believe how that six-month-old beauty with crazy tiny curls was her daughter. She couldn’t believe how each day Lulu looked more and more like Dan. For Em it was glorious because if Lulu didn’t look like her, she wouldn’t look like Emma’s mother. Thankfully, their baby was full Ricciardo which gave Em nothing but joy, especially considering Dan was the most handsome man in the world for her. Being able to stay there with Lulu in her arms looking at Dan sleeping peacefully was a privilege for Em.

For an hour and a half, her husband's snores were Em's background noise as she cuddled, kissed and changed Lulu. As Em got ready for their day, she smiled at Dan. She had no idea how she used to sleep without Dan as her white noise. She barely remembered how it was to go to bed without his arms wrapped around her. She couldn't even think how it was to wake up without his curls and stubble tickling her skin. Em could not help but laugh because she never imagined marrying a man who occasionally loved a mustache on his face. However, she loved Dan and all his weird and questionable facial hair choices. She must have giggled too loudly because Dan stirred as she talked to Lulu.

Maybe Emma giggled too loudly and made too much noise without realizing, because as she talked to Lulu, Dan started to stir. Like every morning she kissed his forehead. It became a small tradition and whoever was up first always did that while whispering a little good morning. Em cut too many things from his routine, but that wasn’t one of them. Em wouldn't leave behind the extra five or ten minutes of cuddles in bed. Those small things she was not willing to give up on. She might not let her husband get up earlier, but her family was gonna have their usual cuddle session to start the day like they always did. She wasn’t willing to take from her beloved family their morning little ritual of Dan kissing Lulu good morning. It was her face first, then her hands, tummy and feet, making her giggle with joy, dimples full on display, exactly like her daddy. It was all those moments that made Em remember every single decision and sacrifice was worth it if the loves of her life were happy. She was exhausted, but it gave her an extra shot of energy to hear Dan call her Mama as he talked to Lulu.

Em knew it was probably too soon to say and see any changes, but seeing her husband doing so well in Canada was like a breath of fresh air. A wonderful P5 in quali and P8 in the race was more than they expected. Em never doubted him, but trusting what the car could do was a completely different story.

Canada was wonderful, but they were just incredibly excited about visiting Barcelona. They were looking forward to meeting their family there, so it was good news for everyone. With Isabella and Isaac on school break, the family spent some time in Europe with Dan, Em and Lulu. It was all they really needed. Just as a toothless smile from their daughter could lift their spirits, a hug from the kids or Grace or Joe could lift their spirits. It was healing to watch them all cover Lulu in love when they couldn’t do it for months. It was magical to see Joe and Grace holding their tiny granddaughter and the kids playing with their baby cousin.

Having their family there not only meant much needed family time, but also Grandparents in charge. Lulu would spend at least a whole afternoon with Grace and Joe every time they were with them. They loved their grandkids, so spending the day with them was absolutely wonderful. That also allowed Dan and Em to have adult time without their baby around. Grace and Joe insisted the four of them needed some time to be just adults without thinking about the baby in the family and that's what they did.

Dan and Blake promised to join Charlie and Em later in the afternoon after press day in the circuit, which left the two women having brunch and part of a girls day. They normally did it with Lulu, going for a walk, lunch and maybe some shopping just the three of them until the boys returned. One of the things Em got thanks to Charlie being around was more freedom. With Em not working and Dan not in the car on Thursday, there was really no need for the girls to be at the track while the boys worked. One day they decided to turn Thursday morning and afternoon into girls days and it stuck. They sometimes skip it depending on the country, but for a big part of the calendar it was their thing. It didn’t change when Lulu was born, only transformed into a more baby-friendly version of it. With Lulu around it wouldn’t include alcohol, but when it was only Em and Charlie they would always have a glass of rosè.

Doing it in sunny Barcelona normally would put a smile on Em’s face. It was one of the places with more happy memories for them. Her first race was there and she couldn’t forget how happy Dan looked when he saw she was really there after insisting so much. She remembered his cute selfies back in 2018 when it was snowing and he was all covered in a scarf and a Red Bull beanie complaining how he didn’t like the cold and especially the snow. The same happened in 2019, Dan coming and going to London to see her on his free days between one week of testing and the other. She could never forget their nights snuggling in her hotel room in 2020 when she was finally working with him, trying to hide from the world because they weren’t supposed to be together but they just couldn’t stay away from each other. Dan hiding his face against her chest as he hugged her body, saying he was too cold even when the room was perfectly warm, enough for them to not use clothes while they slept. Even the previous year, because they weren’t there during the race but Dan gave them a reason to visit to have his hand surgery. Those were some of the most stressful days of her life, but she was never going to forget her husband waking up from the anesthesia whispering “You’re really pretty but I have a very hot pregnant wife” as he smiled lazily at her, trying in vain to reach her bump with his good hand.

Barcelona had too many good memories and she didn’t want anyone ruining that for them. But even with all those happy memories and stories, Em couldn’t stop thinking about everything that was happening. All the comments and rumors and talks about her husband were haunting her, making it hard for her to stop overthinking, even when she was supposed to be enjoying her day off with her friend.

Doing it in sunny Barcelona would normally put a smile on Em’s face. The place held many happy memories for them. Her first race was there and she couldn’t forget how happy Dan looked when he saw she was really there after insisting so much. She remembered his cute selfies back in 2018 when it was snowing and he was covered in a scarf and a Red Bull beanie, complaining how he didn’t like the cold and especially the snow. The same happened in 2019, Dan coming and going to London to see her on his free days between one week of testing and the other. She could never forget their nights snuggling in her hotel room in 2020 when she finally worked with him, trying to hide from the world because they weren’t supposed to be together but they just couldn’t stay away from each other. Dan hid his face against her chest as he hugged her tightly, saying he was too cold even when the room was perfectly warm, enough for them not to wear clothes while they slept. Even the previous year, because they weren’t there during the race but Dan gave them a reason to visit to have his hand surgery. Those were some of the most stressful days of her life, but she would never forget her husband waking up from anesthesia whispering “You’re really pretty but I have a very hot pregnant wife” as he smiled lazily at her, trying in vain to reach her bump with his good hand.

Barcelona had too many happy memories and didn't want anyone ruining them. But even with all those happy memories and stories, Em couldn’t stop thinking about everything that was happening. Even on her day off with her friend, she found it difficult to stop overthinking due to all the comments, rumors, and discussions about her husband.

“What’s going on?” Charlie asked out of the blue, glass in her hand as the sun shined down on her, making her look like something absolutely divine.

“Nothing.” It was typical Em trying to avoid the inevitable conversation, but knowing it was in vain to try at all. It was Charlie after all.

“Baby…”

“Nothing, Char.”

“Kay, right, lie to your bestie.”

“I’m not lying!”

“Then tell me what’s in your head. I know you, my dear. Maybe you don’t remember but I have a PhD in psychology. Might be in child psychology, but people’s minds are the same. Plus I know all of your faces and you've got the 'I'm worried' face on right now. I know a lot of things worry you but tell me which one is putting a frown across your face." Oh my God, how much she loved Charlie. The fact that she was right about everything she said made it funny. She was so skilled at reading people that it was difficult to hide something from her. It was especially difficult when they spent hours and days together, but Em tried. She tried to keep it chill and quiet, hiding behind her own wine glass. "Alright, I'll guess. Is it Dan and the noise of the silly season?" Check mate.

“You really know me a bit, don’t you?” Em smiled, taking a sip and breathing deeply before talking about the issue. “Yeah, it’s that. I’m just tired and we’re just in June. And Dan told me I could talk to Bayer and Mekies to get some peace of mind but I don’t want to. One of the reasons I quit was because I was tired of meetings with team principals and CEOs. I don’t fully believe them."

“Nobody can blame you. You have your reasons not to.”

“I know. And even if I did I’d still be worried. People talking about my husband is never easy. I hate people acting like they know him or what's going on. All these years and I still hate it. I feel powerless. Like I get to sit there and watch while it all happens when I should be able to do more." It hurt to confess it, but it also felt like a weight off her shoulders as she said it. It was like a bit of pressure came off her chest, which really helped her feel lighter.

“Em, darling, there’s nothing you can do. You’re already doing everything to help him. Goddamn, many women wouldn’t do half the things you do and wouldn’t help with half of the things you help.”

“I know that, but it's that constant small voice in my head saying I should be doing more. I wanna do more.”

“You’re doing enough, Em. Believe me. You’re flying the world with your baby daughter and raising her on your own most days so your husband can stay focused on his dream job. Damn, I can’t wait for the summer break and it's not even about my wedding. I want it so you can have Dan all day for you and Lu.”

It was the final countdown to their summer vacation and Em couldn’t remember the last time she waited for it as much as that year. Being cozy at home with the family sounded like a dream. It was even better when the excuse was their best friends’ wedding.

“I really can’t wait for you and Blakey to get married, you know? Having time off is nice, but your wedding? That’s gonna be incredible. I’m so happy you’re the one who gets to marry him. I really can’t wait.” Em affirmed, looking at Charlie's happy face. She normally lights up at any mention of her man, but the grin only grew bigger as she talked about the wedding.

“I can’t wait either. I really wanna be my squishy face’ wife. He’s gonna look terrific being my Mr Friend-Clarke.” Charlie proudly blushed, drinking from her glass to justify and hide the pink color on her cheeks.

“He’s really doing it, isn’t he?” Em curiously asked. She knew Blake intended to add Charlie’s last name to his. He couldn’t care less about whether Charlie wanted to change her name or not. He said again and again that it was all up to her. However, when Charlie decided to do it, Blake said he was doing it too. If Charlie was gonna add Friend to her name then he was determined to include Clarke to his.

“Fuck yeah. You know, it was his idea, so I won’t fight him. If he wants to be a Clarke, that's his thing.” Charlie shrugged. Em knew she was pretending it was not a big deal, but it meant everything to her. The fact that her future husband wanted to also carry her family’s name right beside his felt surreal. “But don’t change the subject here. We were talking about you and your man. You guys are alright? I mean, overall and despite all the vroom-vroom craziness.”

“Yes, we’re okay. We're doing really well. Trying to adjust to the new weekends routine. Good thing is all this won't last longer than 2026, so it won't be that terrible. Or at least I hope it won’t be.”

“Its bad that I can’t wait for that?” Charlie breathed as her happy smile faded into a rather sad smirk. 2026 wasn’t coming fast enough for them.

“No, it's not. Me neither actually. I’m not gonna miss not being on a race track almost every weekend."

“How did you do it? I mean, you don’t like it. You don’t enjoy racing. You get nervous every time. You don’t like the mess and fanciness and fake shit that comes with it. I see your face every time you see how the garages are full of people outside and the track is also packed. You’re this little miss introvert sunshine in the middle of a circus full of extrovert people. How have you survived all these years? Like seriously, in how many races have you been?” Charlie wondered, making Em laugh at all the questions at once. She wasn’t surprised coming from her friend, especially not after all that time together.

"I have no idea how many. Less than a hundred I guess? I never counted them.” Em tried to do fast math, but there was no use. As the number of races changed every year, Dan missed the entire season the previous year, and she missed too many, so it was impossible to guess it quickly. “I really don’t know. But to your other question, I did it for Dan. I want him to be happy. He’s happy racing, so here I am.”

“I know but anyway, it's insane, Em.”

“Why did you leave your job and your family to follow Blake for two years around the world, partly living in a country you dislike?" Em replied, leaving Charlie thinking with her mouth slightly open and a frown showing on her face.

“It’s not that I don’t like the UK. Charlie defended herself just like every time someone accused her of not liking Em’s country.

“You don’t have anything against it, but you hate the weather.”

“It’s cold in summer! Summer is supposed to be warm, not cloudy and rainy!” Charlie and Dan sometimes disagree on some stuff. They were like siblings who fought over which M&M color was the best or which song was better, but they loved each other. But they always agreed on the weather. They hated the cold, they didn’t like the rain and they loved sunny skies and warm days. Living in London was like a nightmare for her because of the weather. Em was not surprised to hear the same words her husband normally says, but they came from Charlie’s mouth.

“You kind of sound like my husband, you know? Like a lot like him.”

“Cause we’re from cute sunny Perth, baby. We’re not made for cold European weather.”

“Your man is from Sydney and he doesn’t complain.” Em remarked, finishing what was left in her glass, acting like she said the smartest thing in the universe.

"It's because he's a saint. He’s marrying me, poor thing. He already has a spot in heaven for handling me and my shit. For handling us all. If he can deal with that, then I can deal with the cold weather for him.”

“And flying around. Because you’re scared of planes and there you are traveling around the world, jumping on planes every week." Em pointed out. Everyone around her knew how scared she was of flying. It was as overwhelming as Em's airport anxiety, but Charlie made it time after time. It took time, love, and patience, but she made it as long as Blake held her hand and reminded her everything would work out.

“I just don’t like turbulence and I told you, people are not supposed to be in the air! Same with huge machines. It's not natural." Charlie explained, giving the same answer she gave everyone who asked how she could be terrified of the safest transport system that existed.

“I know that, but my point is, you do it anyway cause you love Blake. You handle cold and rain and planes to be with him and because you want him to be happy. You fly and get cold, I get in noisy, packed places. We do what we have to do.” Em concluded, as Charlie grabbed the bottle of wine and poured what was left between their both glasses. “We are gonna get drunk, Char!”

“We have to finish it! It's to celebrate how fucking ridiculous we are, babe. We both know we wouldn’t have it any other way. We wouldn’t change our boys for the world and I drink to that, so cheers.” Charlie grinned, clicking her glass with Em’s to toast for their happy lives. “Or you know, Enchanté, as your husband says."

"Since you asked, we're talking about boys and relationships. How are you and my brother doing?” Em asked, taking another tiny sip and leaving the glass back on the black table. It would go to her brain sooner rather than later, but it was her one afternoon off, and the wine was really good. Good enough to send a photo to Dan and add it to their 'Wines Emmy likes' collection.

“We’re good. Better than ever really. Stressing a bit about the wedding cause it’s not easy to organize it from the other side of the world, but enjoying engaged life. A lot of engaged sex before it turns into married couples' sex. Just in case it changes and gets bored, y’know? But yeah, we’re okay. Really happy."

"Getting married doesn't change much. At least it didn't for us. And considering it's you? It won’t either. Like, I know I will regret asking this but really Char, how many days a week you…?” There was the wine finally and officially taking over and talking for Em. Her little prudent brain never let her talk about those things just like that, unless there was alcohol in her body.

“You’re trying to ask me how many days a week we have sex? You better keep drinking, sister.” Charlie smirked, knowing she finally got to the point she wanted to have ridiculous conversations. “And depends? Almost every day?”

"Oh, come on! That's insane."

“You shut up! B told me how you and Dan were basically like horny dogs for years, so don't come here judging, little missy." Check mate. Em hated to admit it, but Charlie was kind of right. Right enough to make Em blush.

“But not every day!” Em tried to defend herself, but her red cheeks and the silly smile gave her away too fast. Besides, Charlie knew when she was lying so it was in vain. “Maybe at the beginning when he came home and I didn’t see him every day but if we spent time together we didn’t have sex every day.”

“Okay but how many days? Spill it, sister.” That damn question.

“Charlie!” Em exclaimed, looking to the tables around them. Luckily, they were too far and too involved in their conversation to listen to what they said. “I don’t know. Four? Five on vacation? But normally, three? Depending on the week."

“Sounds logical. But I don’t care, really. I won’t lie and say it's too much for me because it's more than alright. If B doesn't complain we’re good. As long as he lets me sit on his di-“

“Char! There are people around!” Em interrupted, laughing like a small kid who was almost discovered doing something bad. The fact that she stopped Charlie from saying something worse let her know she wasn’t that terrible. Maybe. “If Dan was here he would say his dick is gonna fall one of these days.”

"Oh boy wine is finally hitting her!” Charlie laughed, not really believing the word ‘dick’ came from her best friend’s mouth, at least not in such a way. “But yeah, nah, it won’t. I know how to take care of my pretty boy. He is really looked after, so don’t worry about it. I take care of him so damn well that one day soon there might be two babies flying around the world with us."

Emma could see the exact moment Charlie shifted. She could see how she wasn’t supposed to open her mouth to say such a thing, but trust and wine together were bad advisors and they betrayed her. Em could only think of how her face reflected Charlie’s. A surprised expression on her face as she processed the words.

“Oh boy… Char are you…?”

“No.”

“But you’re trying, aren’t you?”

Charlie answered in a second. Em could see how she was trying to decide if she should say the truth or lie, but there was no use lying about it. “A bit. Maybe a lot. Like a lot.”

“I need a coffee. We need coffee. We can’t have this conversation like this, seriously." Em breathed, taking what was left of her wine and calling the waitress to order two coffees and water for them. It felt like suddenly more than one thing about her friends’ behavior made sense. Suddenly too many of the things they did had more logic about them. “Goddamn, that's why you stopped smoking at all.”

"How do you know that? Only Blake knows I stopped for good and he told me it was our secret.”

“Someone asked for a lighter the other day and you didn’t have one with you. You always have it. Always. Even if it’s to burn a building. Or a body. Or evidence.”

“I was planning to stop anyway. It's terrible for you guys and B hates it too cause it's bad for me.” Charlie tried to justify as they smiled and thanked the waitress for bringing their order.

Before Em could answer, she first drank water. Straight after she poured sugar on it and took a sip of her coffee. She needed to try, even though it wouldn't take effect fast enough. “We all hate it because it's terrible for you, Charlotte. And it went from one every once in a while to too many a week."

Em knew Charlie’s smoking history. She knew how it started in her university days, mainly recreationally, as she had drinks with her friends and classmates. As time passed, she got caught up in it, using it as a way to cope with stress from exams. She promised to quit after getting her PhD, and she did it. Charlie would only get one in a year, maybe two and only when she was really drunk. But the 'only while drunk' clause was omitted from the equation. Between planes, airports, hotel rooms, cameras, photographers, and strangers knowing who her boyfriend was, her anxiety only grew. When it happened and Charlie felt anxiety reached her peak of the day, she would sneak away from them and try to put it away with some nicotine. She would never smoke around them, so it would be a fifteen minutes break to return with her face and teeth washed and clean clothes. But as it happened more and more often to the point Em was thinking about making an intervention, one day it completely stopped. Now it made sense why she did it.

“We have a stressful life, Em." Charlie tried to justify, but there was no point in discussing that at the moment.

“Don’t change the subject."

“We’re trying. We started less than a month ago. We talked too much about it and we really really thought about it. We had a plan and were waiting, but with my family history of fertility issues? I’m not getting any younger and I don’t wanna risk it. I won't risk our chances. I can't wait, Em. I'm afraid of waiting too long and then finding out it won't happen, y'know?. I’m older than my mom was when she had Cal and I just- We always knew we wanted this at some point so we’re trying for it. I know it's terrible timing with the season and all that but-"

“Charlie, no." Em interrupted her friend, grabbing her hand from over the table to stop her from rambling. "Love, don’t do that. It's not bad timing. It is not. It could never be. Lulu having a travel buddy sounds wonderful."

If there was something that Em admired about Charlie, it was the way she always looked like she could own the world. It was effortless somehow. There was something about the way she carried herself. Em knew Charlie carried her heart on her sleeve and was the sweetest, most loving, protective, honest woman in the world. However, there was something about her that said she could take over the world if she wanted to. Em always joked that Charlie and Blake could take over the world if they wanted to do it, but they would rather snuggle on the couch. But just like Charlie was the most badass woman Em ever met, her friend also was one of the most sensible people she ever knew. That afternoon was not the exception and Charlie could see how her friend's face completely shifted. There was absolute relief on her face as she heard those words, her brown eyes shining even more.

“Really?” Charlie asked, and the happiness in her eyes slowly reached her smile, giving Em a tiny smirk.

“Yeah it does. It really does. Those babies will be so lucky to have you and Blake, Char." Em smiled, squeezing her friend's hand as the shock hit Charlie. "What? Don't look at me like that. I know you'd like more than one. I'm not silly. I saw you and Blake looking at the kids and whispering numbers. I kind of live with you, remember?"

"Is that obvious?" Charlie blushed, taking a sip of her water as she realized her friend had caught them.

“Not for anyone, but me and Dan its obvious. But I can totally see you with a bunch of tiny brunette babies running around the house. If someone has the patience for something like that, that's your husband."

“I know. Nobody has as much patience as that man. But maybe it's just one baby? I’d love to have a couple but I'd be happy with one.”

"One, three, seven, whatever. They’re really gonna be the luckiest kids in the world." Em had no idea if someone was ever really prepared to be a parent, but if someone was close enough, that was Blake and Charlie. After a bunch of nieces and nephews from Charlie's side and after spending the last months helping raise Lulu like she was their own, Em knew they were more than ready for it.

“You think?”

“I know it. Just like my Lulu is lucky to have you as godparents”

"We're lucky to be her godparents. You know I love all my nieces and nephews with all my heart and I don’t have a favorite but damn it, little baby Lu really is something else. That girl is a shining little star. There’s no way you don't smile when you see her with those big eyes and crazy curls. Like you really made an excellent one.” Charlie smiled proudly as she talked about her youngest goddaughter.

“That toothless smile is really something else, isn’t it?" Em grinned, still not believing how incredible her baby girl was. Charlie was right. Lulu was a bright little star who would put a smile on anyone's face. She was sweet, smart, funny, and gorgeous, the light of her parents life and the reason for everything they did. "But hey, soon enough we'll be covered in diapers and running around with two tiny ones. Just wait and see."

“You think our kids will be besties?”

“What's that question? Of course they will be best friends. That’s how it’s supposed to be.”

Charlie exclaimed excitedly, making Em laugh at her. "Maybe they get married and all!"

“Oh so you really don’t wanna get rid of me, uh? That’s why you want our babies to marry? So we’re family forever?” Em joked, but there was nothing that made her happier than thinking about spending the rest of her life like that, sharing lunches with Charlie and then returning back to their boys and babies.

“Exactly! Us? That's forever, baby.”

The most enjoyable thing about spending time with Charlie was how she always brought a smile to Em’s face. They were always able to make each other smile. A glass of wine and a long walk while shopping mostly for Lulu, Em could almost forget about her worries. She couldn't completely forget about them, but as Charlie dragged her to a fancy shop to buy some new lingerie, Em could at least put them to the side for a while.

Having a double dinner date was probably another thing they needed. More than once Steve switched from Dan’s trainer to Lulu’s babysitter, offering himself to look after her for a couple hours or even the night so the rest could have a night out without a baby car right by the table. Normally they would say no and it would be the six of them having dinner together, but on some weird occasion Steve would basically kick them out. Every hour, everyone in their group chat would receive a photo of Lulu, attached to a text that said something about their own date running perfectly. He always made sure Em and Dan didn’t worry about their daughter and they were thankful for it. That night they didn’t have to feel guilty about leaving Steve to the side because he was on his own FaceTime date with his girlfriend Sophie, so it was all good.

Just like Canada was wonderful, Barcelona was a disaster. The car was supposed to be faster with the new parts, but Em had to see her husband qualify P18 because the team decided to sacrifice their quali to test the ungraded parts. The last thing they needed was that. The last thing Dan needed was that, especially in front of his family.

It had been a while since Em wanted to cry after a race, but that day she had to fight the tears. Knowing the kids were in the hospitality, Em took a deep breath and pretended everything was alright. It hurt her to see her husband fighting for something that some days seemed impossible no matter how hard he tried.

That terrible race was the reason why they didn’t say yes when Grace and Joe offered to take Lulu for the night after the race. Depending on the race and how tired Dan was, Blake and Charlie would look after Lulu for the night, giving the parents some time off to sleep without worrying or waking up in the middle of the night. But that night they couldn’t do it. Dan was tired, but he needed his girls. Em knew he needed both his girls, so after a family dinner they headed back to their room for some cuddles.

“You think she'll be proud of me one day? Even with the not so good years?” Dan asked in the dark, his head resting against Em's chest as she kissed his forehead while Dan did the same on her chest.

Even then, his focus was on Lulu. Their daughter slept in her crib right by their bed, never out of reach. They both slept better knowing Lu was there, especially in case a bad dream hit one of them and they needed to hold her tiny chubby hand.

“I know she will. As soon as she is old enough to understand, she will be so proud of her dad. Not only for everything you have accomplished but for how amazing you are. Just like I am proud of you, not only for going fast but for being the best dad and husband in the world.”

It melted her heart when Dan looked up at her as she said those words. It made her feel butterflies in her stomach, the same ones that appeared the night she met Dan. It was the same ones that never went away. They only grew stronger as time passed, especially when Dan kissed her as he did that night. “You’re the best mama and wife in the world. Absolutely the greatest.”

“I try my best cause my loves deserve it.” Em whispered against his lips, enjoying the feeling of her husband right there by her side. Her whole universe was in that room and she couldn’t ask for anything more. “I love you. I don’t care where you end up in the race, alright?”

“I love you too. So so much, Wrinkles. You have no idea how much. Six Barcelona races later and I wouldn’t change us for the world.” Between more lazy, soft, silent kisses to not bother their daughter, Em couldn’t help but smile again. Dan still made her blush, not really believing her luck in life when he said those things.

"How is it already six?" she wondered, still amazed. It felt like an eternity and three lifetimes passed since they met at Blake’s. But at the same time it felt like it was yesterday. Six years of the highest highs and lowest lows. Six years of the happiest and saddest days of her life. Six years and she would do it all again if it meant she ended up being Lulu’s mum and Dan’s wife.

“Dunno, but I love it. Best six years of my life."

“Don’t lie to me” she joked, biting casually his lower lip.

“Best six years of my life. And best six months of my life thanks to our baby moon.”

Leaving Barcelona to go to Austria wasn’t her favorite thing to do. She has nothing against that place, but she loved Barcelona way too much, so if she had to choose, she'd stay in the Spanish city.

Before they headed to the track, they decided to spend some days in Vienna to visit and show Charlie and Steve around. Em's favorite thing was also on the agenda. It was her annual tradition to go to the Belvedere museum to see some paintings, but mostly Klimt's The Kiss. She had it tattooed on her thigh, Dan loved to kiss it and say it looked a lot like them, but they also loved to go to the museum and see it. From the first time Dan made it happen and took Em there in 2019 it was their tradition to do it. They would stand there, Dan standing right behind her with his arms around her waist as Em rested her back against his chest. Sometimes they stayed silent, sometimes Dan whispered sweet words into her ear. But nothing ever compared to the feeling of being there with their best friend and especially with their daughter. Em walked with one hand holding Dan's and another holding her daughter's tiny foot. Like always, Lulu was strapped in her carrier against Em's chest, looking at everything around her.

"See that one, Lu? That's mama's favorite painting ever. I come here every year to see it cause it makes me happy. Your poor dada always comes with me, but now we can do it together to not drag him." Em whispered, kissing her baby's head making Lulu give her the best gummy grin.

"I love coming with you, so now it's the three of us." Dan answered, kissing both his girls. "There's nowhere I rather be than here with you."

Having walked around the city, shopped, and visited places for two days, it was finally time to leave for Spielberg for her husband's 250 race.

Em was never as skilled at maths as she appeared, but, in this case, maths was simple. Two hundred and fifty races were about four years and a half of racing. Two hundred and fifty Sundays when her husband got into a car and raced his heart out. He was almost in the top ten of F1 racing drivers with the most Grand Prix starts, and she couldn’t be prouder. Em was always proud of her boy, constantly reminding him how she loved him for who he was and not for his job, but she was tremendously proud of him. Dan always said the things he did weren’t sacrifices but choices, but Em knew half of it was true. Not being able to spend more time with his family and friends was both a choice and a sacrifice to do what he loved. Not being able to give his wife and daughter more of his time, not having the opportunity to take Em on more dates, letting her do most of the parenting was nothing and not being a full-time dad for Lulu every single day was on the top of his list of things he would wish to change. It was at the top of his list of things he wanted to change the second he retired. In the meantime, she kept kissing his cheeks, smiling at him and whispering how much she loved him and how he had a job to do.

But what surprised her the most was when Blake told her Dan’s 250th race was also her 100th race. When Charlie asked at lunch, Em still didn't have the courage to check. She still didn’t have the heart to count. Like she told Charlie, searching for a list and doing the maths would mean she had to look at the races she missed back in those terrible orange days and she didn’t intend to. She didn’t have the heart to do it. Her list of things to do grew, and she did not get upset about it. Most days she didn't let herself think about that and how tired she was. Her job was to look after her babies. Thinking about her tiredness would lead her to think about how much she wished to get home and it was impossible. It would lead to spiralling about her leaving a big part of her job, being a full-time mum, missing home, longing to be with their family, and a hundred things more. The saddest part was it made Em think how she knew Dan wanted another baby but they couldn't. Lulu was too young, Em didn’t plan to get pregnant again until their daughter was at least two years old, and she didn’t want to deal with a pregnancy and a toddler. She couldn’t deal with it if Dan was racing. She wanted to be home to do that, and Dan agreed, but she knew he wanted more babies. They didn’t want Lulu to be an only child like Em was. They wanted at least one more baby, but she could do another fifty races and celebrate her husband’s 300th with two kids on the road.

Em couldn't and didn't want to let her brain overthink all that. She wanted to celebrate her husband and all his races and the ones she had been by his side. She wanted to celebrate that and then his birthday and the fact that it was his first birthday with Lulu by their side. All Em's worries could wait for another week or two. If extra therapy sessions were necessary, she would have them for her family.

At the end, it was a miracle that she didn’t need it, but maybe it was the joy of seeing her husband smiling in his special helmet. She remembered the day Dan had the idea to do it like his helmet from his kart days, and she loved it. She remembered the excitement on his face as they lay in bed and Dan asked if it would be an good idea. There was a big difference from that night months ago to the day it became a reality. She saw the helmet when Dan brought it home, but there was a huge difference from when she saw it at the race in the Red Bull ring. Em looked at Dan taking it off its bag and for some reason, tears fell down her face. From that little boy who only wanted to go fast in his kart to the wonderful man he became, he had come so far in life. She was so proud of him. She was the luckiest girl to be there for six years of his career. She was the luckiest woman to be there for hundreds of those races.

“I thought we said no tears” Dan smiled, closing the gap between them in his room. As soon as they were one in front of the other, Dan reached her face, cleaning the tears with his fingers.

"I know, but they're really good ones. I’m so proud of you. All you did and you keep doing? God, I’m seriously so proud of you, baby."

“Y'know what's my favorite part about it? That you and Lu are here to see it. It's been crazy, but having you here makes it better and easier. Having our potato here?" Dan asked, pointing to their daughter with his head as she took her morning nap in her seat before the craziness and the noise started. "It really feels like a dream.”

“We have a little saint for a daughter." Em smiled, wrapping her arms around her husband and resting her head against his chest. She knew they didn't have much time, but she would enjoy every second of it.

“Just like her gorgeous mama. And thank goodness she's nothing like her papa.”

“Only on looks."

"That's why she’s precious."

“Then it sounds like she's exactly like her dad.” Em affirmed, kissing his chest before looking at her husband's face. “Thank you for letting me be by your side for a hundred races. It has been my pleasure, baby. No matter what form we were in, it's been awesome.”

“99 of those races should've been as you as my girl.” Dan admitted, kissing Em's nose before tucking her hair behind her ear. "I know what you'll say. You were my girl. You've always been my girl, but you were not my girlfriend. That's my one regret."

"It's your 250th race, there’s no time for regrets." she reminded him, moving one of her hands from his waist to his face, stroking his cheek with her fingers.

“There's no time for regrets, but there’s time for one more big hug from my lady wife." Even when they were still holding each other, Dan hugged Em as tightly as possible. For some reason it felt so peaceful that it didn't feel like they were on the track. It felt like they were home, except for the detail of her husband wearing the team's clothes. “Thank you” he whispered against her hair, breaking the silence in the room.

“For what?”

“For Lu. For existing. For being here. And for handling my daily shit. I think I don’t thank you enough for it.” He did. Heaven knew he did. Em was well aware of it and it was never an issue. Dan was always in awe of his wife and all she did for their family. But she also knew that after what happened with them and not talking about their feelings for years, Dan needed to remind her how he felt about them.

"You know how you can thank me?" Em asked, moving her face from his chest to his neck, kissing it a couple times and then his jaw. "Don't cut your curls during the summer break." Em liked the mustache and she was more than used to it, but if she had to pick she always rather the full bear. There was counted things Em loved as much as running her fingers through it. If she could get it back, she would be happy even if it was temporary.

"Emmy!" Dan exclaimed, forcing Em to cover his mouth for a moment with her hand.

"Shhh, you'll wake Lu up." Em whispered as Dan kissed her palm again and again. "I'm just saying. That and a full beard. That's how you make your wife happy. The whole daddy looks suits you."

"Fine. Anything else?" Dan asked as he took Em's hand off his face and held it against his heart.

"One of those new helmets for my collection."

"You know one is always for you. Anything else?"

Em said no with her head, then got in her tiptoes to kiss her husband's lips to close the deal. One. Two. Three kisses. That was the lucky number. She hated to let it go, but it made her heart warm even more as she looked at her husband kissing their daughter’s forehead carefully to not wake her up. A simple “I love you and see you later, yeah baby girl? Be good with mama while papa’s working, potato” was all Dan whispered while Em couldn’t stop thinking she had done something right in life to get them. No matter how crazy or difficult things were, no matter where they ended up working or living, if Em had her little family things were going to be okay.

---

Taglist: (Let us know if you wanna be added!)

@dr3lover @sabrinaselina55 @majx00 @tall-tanned-tattoo @lovingdennishauger @lauehr @msolbesg @f1medlife @idkwtfimdoing2 @leclercsbae @hiphopdancer101universe @mehrmonga @lewispool @saintandrea-droidsmuggler @coldheartedmar @sugarbabygirlofdaddy @nonsensical-nonce @a-distantdreamer @tita010 @leslizzle @javden @mloyer @saintandrea-droidsmuggler @magical-imagination-kgp @danarysstormborn @kakorrhaphiphobia @g-l-o-b-e-w-h-o-r-e @elizanav @neiich @luckyladycreator2 @scotlynaurora @belledawnidk

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soojinieshifts · 6 months ago

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INTRO TO…

MY LE SSERAFIM DR

Hana Arie Anná, mononymously known as Ari, is a Chinese actress, singer, and rapper of girl group LE SSERAFIM under HYBE’s Subsidiary Label Source Music. She had her solo debut on June 12, 2024 with the mini album “Dark Dreams”.

!★☆ 𝑨𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝑴𝒆

#☆…! Name: Han Arie Anná

#☆…!Stage Name: Ari

#☆…!Race: Asian

#☆…!Gender: Female

#☆…!Sexuality: Lesbian

#☆…!Pronouns: She/her

#☆…!Birthday: June 10, 2002

#☆…!Age: 21

#☆…!Zodiac sign: Gemini

#☆…!Place of birth: Wuhan, China

#☆…!Siblings: Kevin, Rachel, handong, xiaojun, ningmei (twin sister)

!★☆ 𝑰𝑫𝑶𝑳 𝑺𝑻𝑼𝑭𝑭!!

#☆…!Brands: Chanel, Calvin Klein, Adidas, and Sanrio

#☆…!Positions: Lead Rapper, Lead Dancer, Sub-Vocalist, Center, and Producer

#☆…!Titles: Chinas Princess, Face of China, 4th gen’s hot girl, 4th gen rapper, 4th gen it girl

#☆…!Solo fandom: Ariboos

#☆…!Rep. Emoji: 🦊

#☆…!Projects: GLITZY! by Girls Generation (ft. ARI of LE SSERAFIM) - 2022, Dream Girl by Chungha (ft. ARI of LE SSERAFIM) - 2023, Diamond by KAZUHA (ft. YEJI of ITZY and ARI of LE SSERAFIM) - 2024 , Luv Me by JENNIE (ft. ARI of LE SSERAFIM) - 2023, Wish You hell (My pre release single before my solo debut) - 2024, DARK DREAMS (my official solo debut!) - 2024 , Magic by nayeon (ft. ARI of LE SSERAFIM) - 2024

#☆…!Trainee time : 6 years and 3 months

!★☆ 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓𝒔!!

🐯Chaewon — Best friends! Was close during her Iz*one days and have gotten stronger since. SHES ALSO THE MOST DELUSIONAL BITCH YOU WILL EVER MEET LIKE MY GOD. She has an obsession with gummy bears and other fruity candy currently. And she’s back with her ex (this is a good thing! I love them together!) so she’s finally stopped screaming ripping her hair out over her! I love giving her songs to cover cause it’s fun. And her vocal tone makes me ascend to the heavens tbh.

🌸Sakura — THIS IS MY MOM!! I actually love Sakura so much and I’m so mad that freaking swing RUINED her voice. Her natural voice is so pretty and I used to have her sing me lullabies back when I was scared to sleep alone because of the massive hate I got in 2022. She’s so amazing and it makes me so sad that people don’t see it and I love her talent and wished she didn’t feel the pressure to be the best all the time. I love her and Mina together (I want them to adopt me.) but I don’t love seeing them make out in the living room. I watched her once fall to her news because of my “alleged” project with Sabrina carpenter as she proceeded to beg me to take her to meet her…..(I did).

🦒Yunjin — SIGHHHH. Jennifer huh…(or as I call her Jenni!). We started off as basically attached by the hip,! Like this girl was my best friend fr and then we started dating 😭 (she asked me out in the most craziest way tbh…). Probably one of the most amazing things ever cause she was literally the most perfect gf….until she wasn’t. Long story short: we broke up and it was messy as shit. Then I got with ryujin and She started getting mad at me for weird reasons and then we were back to best friends like we used to be…AND THEN ON FREAKING TOUR SHE TOLD ME SHE WANTED ME BACK EVEN THOUGH SHE KNOWS IM HAPPY WITH RYUJIN??? Long story short….we’re just friends now but not as close as once were and it makes me sad cause..Jenni ☹️😞

🦢Kazuha — MY ZUHAAAAA MY SWEET SWEET BABY!! I actually was the main one who talked to her during trainee days and we still are just as close! This is basically my little sister and when she had her solo debut I freaking SOBBED because of the song she made for me :(. She’s my sweet little swan and has a very big collection of white tennis shoes…SHE ALSO STARTED DATING BELLE FROM KIOF AND I ABSOLUTELY LOCE THEM!! Ballerina and the princess is what they are.

🐈Eunchae — so this is my daughter Eunchae!! I’m not joking when I say I spoil and baby her. She’s literally my little and I just love her and her chubby lil cheekies. She goes through weird phases like how she used to always say “Gyatt” whenever I walked in the room….She always comes to me mainly whenever she’s overwhelmed or when things do become too much for her and I try my best to make sure she gets to live her life as a kid since she still is one. She has had a few cutie crushes on ppl but I don’t think she’ll date anyone right now. (And she’s scared to date rn…)

!★☆ 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬!

#☆…!Friends: NingNing, Seijun, Jennie, Jungkook, Soyeon, Hobi, Beomgyu, Felix, Jisung, Yeji, Garam, Jaylie, Natty, Jiheon, Maeyo, Keeho, Nabi, River, Reverie

#☆…!Gf: Ryujin of ITZY

#☆…!Exes: Jurin (2021-2021), Yunjin (2022-2024 I think ???)

#soojinieshifts #le sserafim #le sserafim dr #reality shifting #shifting #shiftingrealities #kpop shifting #shifting script #shifting methods #shifting stories #shifting blog #shifting motivation #manifesation #manifest #manifesting #loa #law of assumption #loassumption #loa success

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sweet-chimera · 1 year ago

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TW: Call out post, drama

// Damn we were going to keep it quiet and respectful until this point. because like always. Spork, aka Shiloh can't take accountability and Never does anything wrong despite the fact that this is the what? 6th group of people enmass to cut contact with them? Spork we were being quiet about it for YOUR sake. Cause you're a bad person and we wanted to be done with you. But fine. We'll do it your way. We blocked you because you're a toxic person who threatens to harm yourself when we don't comply to you. Not because of a fake wedding rp event. Content and stories under the cut. Long post trigger warning

And because he named dropped us, potentially to potentially insight violence on us. We'll return the favor. We were willing to just soft block and call it a day but then you do this? We knew you were a karen but come on spork. This is low even for you. For those of you that don't know, Spork aka:

patchiesdoodles, decipheringmadness, cxpescxwlsandcrxmes, ifyouwouldloveme, thegreeksknewthescore, fxllen-cne, thxpatriarch, unforgivendivine, AND the-blackened-dove.

Likes to block evade, exhibit controlling tendencies towards their rp partners, leverage marginalization's to groups that he doesn't belong to to white knight and get his way, tone police, sexually harass people mainly on voice call, guilt trip, bully those that speak out against him, use his partners to harass people who block him, vague posts, gives ultimatums, and threaten self harm when he doesn't get his way.

Lets get this out of the way, My experience with spork

I met spork in the muntain june 2023. And it was one of the most grating experience of my life. At every chance they got they spoke over people, talked openly about their sexual trauma when no one has consented to hearing it. And tone policed me, a cambodian/afro indigenous person from baltimore, for using language that was "Offensive to black people." Only to then lay off after yelling at me for a few minutes. When he found out I was black. (Screen shot of me talking to the mod of the muntain afterwards)

I was off put, and upset. That someone who is this complexion

is tone policing me, AN AFRO INDIGENOUS PERSON WHEN I MAKE NO ATTEMPTS TO HIDE IT. IM BLACK.

But seeing as we're a vastly neuro divergent community. I forgave and forgot because it wasn't worth the fight. it didn't stop them from constantly bringing up sexual or traumatic topics. But at the very least. They were upset at me for using AAVE and saying the N word. A SLUR I CAN USE.

But then later down the line. I talked to the muntain mod about introducing my partners to the rp community and to help the transition go smoothly.

I EVEN WENT INTO VOICE CALL AND BEGGED THEM, SPORK SPECIFICALLY. TO BE ON THEIR BEST BEHAVIOUR.

My girlfriend joined on the 30th and my boyfriend joined on the first.

During the first call on the 30th. Spork dominated the conversation and flirted with my girlfriend infront of me upon finding out we were polyamourus. But for the most part was respectful.

On the voice call on the second. They were racist and immflamatory to my boyfriend. Tao. A native mexican man. Spork claims to be indigenous themself but I have no proof of this. But as we all know, Abrahamic religions have decimated the indigenous populations and caused Alot of harm.

On voice call. Spork brings up their LITERAL JESUS CHRIST muse. And talks about their religious trauma. Tao, also talks about his in the form of a joke. "Oh Jesus sure liked to wash feet huh?" A TRUE FACT. NOT THAT BAD. WE ALL HAVE MADE FUN OF IT.

Here comes white knight Spork, yelling at my partner to not make fun of jewish traditions. Its insensitive and blastephemous. Only to then dominate the conversation to talk about their trans jesus muse who openly talks about being abused by god

(Recap of the voice call i had with the mod)

So spork, a white passing person AT BEST, told my darker complexion NATIVE MEXICAN BOYFRIEND. That he shouldn't make jokes about judaism? When spork is a white satanist? And all abrahamic religions not just Catholicism has caused damage to our populations? You didn't even let him say more then that one joke, you didn't even give him 10 seconds to say is name before dominating the conversation again

Sweetie. 1.) Anyone can criticize and make fun of the bible, the torah, or the Quran. 2.) SAYING JESUS WASHED FEET. WHICH IS TRUE. IS NOT AS INFLAMMATORY. As making a gay trans jesus blog AS A ROLEPLAY CHARACTER. To talk about how god abused him.

And these are just my personal experiences with spork.

WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENED WHEN THEIR FRIEND POLITELY ASKED TO STOP SHIPPING BUT STILL BE FRIENDS?

HMMM. THATS WEIRD. THATS A PRETTY POLITE WAY TO GO ABOUT HAVING A CONVERSATION. BECAUSE CONSENT TAKES TWO PARTIES. WHAT WAS YOUR RESPONSE TO ONE PARTY NOT CONSENTING SO YOU DONT GET YOUR WAY?

OH YEAH.

YOU VAGUE POST ON THE DASH, GUILT TRIP PEOPLE FOR STILL ASSOCIATED WITH VOID (gin-n-chthonic) and get upset when you saw them on your dash because you keep block evading them to see if they were talking about you. YOURE MENTAL HEALTH WAS MESSED UP BECAUSE YOUR FRIEND HAD A POLITE CONVERSATION WITH YOU? ABOUT NOT REAL CHARACTERS? AND YOUR RESPONSE WAS A PUBLIC CALL OUT POST. And then you go around to people like slurk.

Who've you've been codependently abusing for a long time. And try to guilt trip them into blocking void.

Because thats a sound response. AS WELL AS BITCH AND MOAN ABOUT IT IN CALL FOR DAYS. THIS ISN'T EVEN INCLUDING THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE A HABIT OF GETTING YOUR FRIENDS AND PARTNERS TO ATTACK AND OSTRICIZE PEOPLE FOR YOU. Remember when jessica was sick with covid. But you wanted an answer so bad. That you sent your boyfriend after her? CAUSE WE DO.

And how you admitted in voice call that you would type from Boogies account to send people things, speak for him. OR ADMITTED THAT ROLEPLAYING IS A SPIRITUAL THING FOR YOU. How these characters are extension of yourself and if they feel pain or rejected you do? So every time someones muse doesn't want to interact with them. YOU A REAL HUMAN BEING FEEL THE PAIN?

cause we do.

SO LETS RECAP. TLDR;

you give ultimatums

guilt trip

block evade

were openly racist to a mexican indigenous man

hit on my girlfriend infront of me

can't read a room socially

send mobs after people

talk about traumatic shit without peoples consent

overly sexual even when we say we're uncomfortable

fly off the handle and go on public tirades when we try to talk to you, then get surprised when no one wants to talk to you and just quietly exits your life

use your loved ones accounts to talk to people who go nc with you

only white knight and virtue signal when its convenient to you

want to control everyones character and insert your muse into everything but when they don't comply you guilt trip, bitch, give ultimatums, or post publicly about not being loved

you weaponize your marginalization as a trans man but are clearly white passing and command alot of social power from your social media presence

sexually harass people around you

and you tone police the people of color around you when we speak up

WE DIDN'T BLOCK YOU OVER A FAKE RP EVENT. WITH FAKE PEOPLE THAT YOU INSIST ARE REAL. WE REFUSE TO BE AROUND YOU BECAUSE YOU REFUSE TO GET HELP FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH. WE BEGGED YOU TO. AND YOU GUILT TRIP PEOPLE WITH THREATS OF OSTRICHCIZATION AND SELF HARM.

YOU'RE A BAD PERSON SPORK.

#tw: drama #tw: call out post #call out post #drama #patchiesdoodles

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seoul-bros · 2 months ago

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Happy Special Stage Behind

Those editors are at it again! They obviously keep close tabs on ARMY conversations on social media.

Jin's shyness sharing the stage with Wendy was no joke. The director even asked had to ask him to make sure he made eye contact during the performance. I like the song a lot so I hope they get to perform it together again, this time with a little more interaction.

It kind of reminded me of Jin at Hobi's listening party. Keeping out of the spotlight and going home early to play video games.

youtube

Finally with Jimin and JK's enlistment anniversary today, there seems to be a the end is finally in sight kind of vibe going around and BTS back together is beginning to feel like an imminent event.

Here is Jin echoing what they have all said one time or another over the last couple of years. They mean it sincerely but I also suspect that Big Hit is playing heavily into that sentiment to create expectation and build the suspense as we count down to that day in June 2025 when all of them are together again.

Post Date: 12/12/2024

#jin #happy special stage #happy #running wild #i'll be there #heart on the window #wendy #Youtube

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rustboxstarr · 2 years ago

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🏖Grown Ups🏖 part 1

Summary: You've been pulling away from Eddie recently its not until summer vacation that you finally find your way back to him.

Pairings: Dad!Eddie Munson x PlusSize!Mom!Reader

Warnings: Holy hell prepare yourself -> worrying about R potentially cheating, angst, talk of sex, slightly derogatory talk of sex, Gareth is a womanizer (Sorryyyyy needed someone to be!), alcohol consumption, thoughts of sex, thoughts tiddie fucking, kissing, Eddie being kinda desperate and horny for sex but trying to be respectful, nudity, R has tattoos, nipple and belly button piercing, body insecurity (Don’t worry Eddies just being a weirdo, she loves herself otherwise!), smoking, Steve being an insightful mama hen and apparently knows how women function (Steves a sweetheart, we want all men to be like Steve), light confrontation, looming anxiety, drunken accidental grinding, groping, R being to drunk to remember ALMOST having sex , threats of violence, tiddie sucking, hickeys, oral f receiving, fingering, squirting, interruptions, talk of oral m receiving, Smut P in V, no cut offs or dividers, sorry forgot to put them in. I tried to stay away Y/N I rly did but I think it slipped in once or twice (Sorry not sorry 😈)

Wordcount: Short and sweet only 22.2k........ (Yeah this fic quite literally ripped the idea in my head and sprinted away with it like it was wanted for murder (Get it? HAHAHAHA (Explaining my jokes, I love myself))

A/N: So I was watching Grown Ups (2010) the other day and thought it was so funny when all the guys talk about how little they have sex with their wives, but then it spiraled and got slightly angsty but personally I love this! Character list and ages under the cut :)

Love yas!

Part 2

Drawings I made for the fic for some visuals 😊

Grown Ups masterlist

Check out my other works!

Max (35), Lukas (35) - twins Eric (6) and Billy (6)

El (35), Mike (35) - no kids

Dustin (35), Suzie (35) - Willow (11 months)

Eddie (41), You (40) - Ophelia (10) and Roxette (7)

Gareth (37) - single, no kids

Luke -unnamed freak (39), Simone (38) - Tom (5) and Oliver (3) - not that it matters but Simone is african american so the kids are mixed incase it might be nice to visualise

Jeff (37), Tracy (45) - Ariana (16) (Tracy's daughter)

Will (35), Winter (33) - no kids

Steve (40), Nancy (39) - Mercy (11), Lousie (9), Rachel (7), Marcus(5), Bianca (3) and Dustin (2)

Jonathan (39), Charlotte (41) - Emma (6), Charlie (4) and Lilly (2)

Robin(39), Vickie(39) - no kids

Argyle (40), Eden (38) - no kids

------------

Summer 1998, the sun was shining bright against the pastel blues of the sky, temperatures rising all over the country, it was the best time of the year, 10 year old Ophelia and 7 year old Roxette were off school for the summer holidays, you had your 6 weeks off and Eddie took leave from work, cashing his holidays in broken up during the 9 weeks of summer to be with you and his kids. Mid june and the Munson family had gotten the chance to rest for the first 5 days before the roadtrip to Dustin’s late granny’s lakehouse in Muskegon, the five hour road trip delayed with multiple food stops, toilet breaks, a few car boot sales which signs had caught you eye, one mall trip to stave off Roxy’s crying when she realised she forgot to pack her bathing suit and a few leg stretchers to keep both the kids from going crazy in the backseat.

Ophelia had grown up to become a relatively quiet kid, calm, never too temperous and always content with following around with the grown ups plan, god knows how, neither you nor Eddie were ever people to be considered calm and peaceful. In your youth running around being chased by Hopper after breaking into abandoned places, caught drunk encouraging Eddie to piss on the large bronze statue situated in front of the mayor's office, shoplifting, vandalism, disturbing the peace, there had even been one time where Hopper had knocked on Wayne’s trailer door, two embarrassed soon to be adults stood behind him, wrapped up in blankets with not a single other article of clothing on for modesty after giving you both a ‘ride home’ as you liked to joke.

The straight defiance of US laws simmered down after Ophelia came along but partying, loud obnoxious jokes, crazy schemes and dramatic displays of affection were still something very normal for the two of you. Well normal up until the last six months or so where it had simmered down. The both of you were still cuddly and giggly and chummy with each other, but lately it seemed you both had drifted apart, admittedly you more than him.

Roxette however seemed to have taken to both of you, couldn't sit still, always loud, always on the move, yup she was the embodiment of both yours and Eddie’s personalities, the same reason as to why the five hour road trip pushed 9 hours. Roxy could barely handle the 20 minute drive to school…

Up at 8 am packing the kids into the car with plenty of books, comics, cd’s and toys you set out. Eddie at the wheel of your 95 Mitsubishi Mirage while you cozied under a blanket next to him, head lolling on your shoulders threatening to tip you over until you adjusted yourself to sit up against the window as you let that comforting dull, cloudy feeling overtake you and drift you off to sleep. In the back Roxette was fast asleep while Ophelia bobbed her head in tune to Tupak Shakur’s latest album R U Still Down? playing in the round silvery cd player Eddie kept in the glove compartment, staring out at the trees whizzing past the window.

The clock was nearing 5 pm when the car pulled off the bumpy road -with Eddie in the passenger seat- over the gravel parking lot to what Dustin had called The Henderson Castle. A quaint surprisingly large cabin in dark mahogany wood panelling, green chipping edging and beams matching the green steps to the bright blue double doors. Lake Michigan painted the horizon behind the garden, a small private beach next to a short dock attached to a boathouse and a sailboat tied to the wood panels, a rack of 5 canoes resting on the old water stained wood. Wooden beach chairs and plastic loungers framed in by the litter of trees and behind a picnic table and worn down monkey bars.

Eddie took to emptying the boot of duffle bags and food bags while you urged Ophi and Roxy out of the back. Cars of different prince rages surrounded them as things were retrieved out of the vehicle, “Well well well look who decided to show up!” Dusting grinned from the front door, carrying a little girl on his hip who tucked her head into his shoulder in shyness.

Matching grins were shone at the 35 year old as he descended the steps to greet you “What's up man!” Eddie patted him on the back in a one armed hug before he went around to give you a proper hug. “Hi! I’m Roxette” your daughter said excitedly, Dustin bent down to talk to her “I know, we've met before” his voice was sweet and mischievous as he stuck out his hand for Roxette to shake.

You were all hustled into the house where a large group of people were scattered around the kitchen, dining table to your left and living room to your right behind the kitchen, all hollering in delight as your family of four stepped over the threshold. Hugs were exchanged as well as ‘took you long enough’s and ‘did you learn to read the clock in your three years of senior year’s, soon enough a wide spread of food, carefully put out by Dustin's wife Suzie had been devoured and catch ups had been exchanged.

Dustin had taken the duty of showing everyone to their rooms, Jonathan’s three kids, Emma, Charlie and Lily, Luke’s Carl and Tom, Steve and Nancy's six nuggets Mercy, Lousie, Rachel, Marcus, Bianca and Dustin, Max and Lucas’s twin boys Eric and Billy, as well as Ophelia and Roxette were all given the privilege of sharing the well lit and cozy basement. 17 kids with the exception of Willow who had her own little bed with Dustin and Suzie and Ariana, Jeff’s 16 year old step daughter who got her own room, were all over the moon, excited about causing as much ruckus as they could. Parents and couples alike all directed upstairs to the second and third floor for their own bedrooms in the impressive lakehouse.

The time on Eddie’s watch showed 11:32 as he took it off and placed it on his temporary nightstand for the next week when you crawled under the patchwork cover and got yourself comfortable on your side. Teeth brushed, clothes changed, good nights said and bags unzipped it was time to turn in for the night. Something about being on the go for 8 and a half hours and then making conversation in a room full of 39 other people was extremely exhausting and it caught up to you as your head nestled into the plush worn cotton pillow.

You heard Eddie yawn loudly behind you as he no doubt flung his balled up fists out in the air, stretching like a cat by the side of the bed. He rustled behind you until you felt the cover lift and a warm body dip into the mattress, humming as he scooted over to wrap his arms around you and hold your back to his chest. You bathed in his embrace, happy and content cuddling up with your husband until, you felt him move again to press his hips against your. A soft grunt escaped your lips as Eddie pushed his hard on to nestle between your ass cheeks, on display from the back of your threadbare t-shirt riding up.

“Mm Eddie I’m really tired” you groaned quietly, nestling further into his arms wrapped around you. You heard him sigh and had your eyes been open you would have undoubtedly rolled them at his reaction “We’ve been on the go since 8 am, I’m really not in the mood” you further explained “I know baby” Eddies breathed slightly disappointed, in the back of his mind he had hoped that the change of scenery might get you exited, possibly put a stop to the dry spell you had seemed to be going through. “Lets just go to sleep yeah?” he whispered, fingers crossed that his disappointment and slight annoyance at his idea being wrong couldn't be detected in his voice. You hummed in agreement as Eddie slackened behind you and fell asleep.

The morning had been hectic, starting off already at 7 am when both girls rushed in to find their clothes, awakening you as they spoke loudly “Girls you know this” Eddie sighed as he tiredly sat up on his side of the bed, pulling his warm grasp away from you “Knock on the door, don't just barge in” he was slightly exasperated as he told them off “But were on vacation!” Roxette whined as she paused in rifling through one of the bags “Yeah well the rule still applies”. Even though it might be mostly your fault it was still funny that he was dictating a rule set in place so they wouldn't walk in on you having sex when you actually hadn’t even had sex in god knows how long.

The reason why you were mostly at fault for the fact was that yes you were the first to cool down with initiating it but you didn't accept Eddie’s advances even when he tried. But recently you just hadn’t been in the mood, work had been hectic and you barely had time for each other, to top it all off lately you’d just felt a dip in your confidence. The fact that you were now in your 40s just seemed to catch up with your busy brain, you didn't look the way you did when you and Eddie first got together, or even the way you did just a few years ago. You'd always been on the bigger side of scales but that never bothered you, in fact your looks weren’t even the problem, objectively. It was the way you felt inside, old, tired, unnatractive, it had caused you to pull back from him, curl in on yourself and throw yourself into being a mom and a good boss.

Eddie had to keep reminding himself that there wasn't a chance in the realm of possibility that the reason you were staying late at work had anything to do with anything other than work. Something he found himself telling his brain a lot whenever your nearest colleague Greg resurfaced in his mind. Greg was a sweet lovely man who worked just below you, but it was hard to remind himself of that as he thought about the many hours you spend at work alone with him. Even though he was a good kind soul he was undoubtedly attractive, even though he knew you were loyal to your husband and he to his wife and even though he knew he was more your type than Greg was it was still a constant bicker in his brain.

–

The rest of the morning was even worse, such a drastic change from lounging around the house or almost falling asleep on a blanket in the yard as you attempted to read. Kids were everywhere, everyone was talking, moving around and trying to get to the food served for breakfast, it was stressful to say the least. You were used to large crowds, parties, concerts and other events but now it was just too much, and it seemed to show as Eddie wrapped his arms around your shoulders behind you, planting a kiss to your temple as you talked to Tracy, Jeff’s wife. You appreciated the gesture, even though you hadn’t been all too close to him recently and it was clearly beginning to frustrate him he was still there for you, something that made your heart squeeze.

Finally around noon the pace had slowed, some kids were occupied with games and crafts inside while your own played with Luke's, Steve and Nancy's kids in the water. Splashing around happily as Nancy floated around nearby while you took the chance to get to know Luke's wife Simone and Jeff’s Tracy better. Eddie, Steve, Gareth, Jeff and Luke all lounged around on the chairs pushed into the sand just as it turned to grass behind them.

“So Gare, still sad and single?” Jeff chuckled as he sipped a matching cool beer to the rest “Hah! Sad? I’d take being single any day over commitment and fuckin’ kids” he scoffed, legs spread wide as he tanned under the sun in baggy ombre trunks. “Hey having kids aint that bad” Steve grinned “Oh sure, I bet it's a riot being woken up at 5 am by 6 little assholes every morning” he chuckled.

The sun was high up in the sky, water glittering under the shine as it splashed around by the kids shrieking and laughing. “Ugh, had to remind mine to knock on the fucking door this morning, both of them just waltzed in like they owned the place” Eddie supplied as he looked over at you. Stood by the waters edge laughing at a story Simone was telling, his eyes scanned down your frame quickly, lavender purple full briefs that came up to your waist, just below that glittering jem butterfly hanging from your belly button, a ruching detail at the front and a matching purple halter top to match. He had to look away before he began oggling at your round curves at the way the haltertop bikini pushed your tits up to each other, fuck he would have loved to kiss all the way down your throat and over your chest.

“Ooh ‘fraid the kids are gonna walk in and be scarred for life by your pasty white ass?” Gareth laughed at his joke as his eyes flicked over to you too. “Pffft” Eddie deprecatingly shooed “Nah man, that hasn't been a risk for like ages” he took a large gulp of the cold beer in his hands “Now that I think about it, hasn't been a risk since like before christmas”

“That's what marriage does to ya, too high on the feeling of new love and sparkly lights of wedding planning till they dim and she sees your ugly face at the altar” Gareth sat up to inspect Eddie slightly, Eddie laughed along with the others “Man shut up” he managed through a smile.”She's not pregnant is she?” Luke piped up as everyone was now looking over at the subject in question.

From the corner of your eye you noticed the attention and turned slowly with a soft confused frown, Steve and Luke smiled at you as Jeff quickly averted his gaze, Eddie giving you a forced smile before he slapped Gareth's hand down which was waving at you, fingers wiggling as a seductive smiled painted his features. Your frown deepened as you awkwardly waved back and turned back to the other moms.

Eddie's face switched from annoyed to questioning as he turned from Gareth to Luke “What?” his brows pinched as wrinkles formed on his forehead. “Well when Simone is pregnant she gets kinda distant, doesn’t wanna do anything” he further explained. “Nah man she’s not pregnant, she's got an implant”

“Eh, dont beat yourself up about it, me and Nancy barely have any time for ourselves let alone fucking” Steve waved him off. “Yeah well she's had six kids, probably sick of your junk by now” Jeff chuckled, an eye roll from Steve in return.

“I dunno, she's just busy, got alot on with work and the kids” he pushed his sunglasses further up his face as the sun resurfaced out of a cloud. He did not want to mention Greg and listen to Gareth's lude comments or let any of the others feed him delusions. You were not cheating. “Who knows, maybe she's sick of your junk too. Tell ya what, send her my way I’ll get her walking out a happy woman” Gareth smirked wickedly. “If you don't shut your mouth I’m gonna come over there and beat the shit out of you” he leaned forward with his elbows on his knees to look over at Gareth who put his hands up in surrender.

“Apart from Steve am I the only one not getting some action” before Gareth had a chance to open his mouth Eddie pointed at him “and you shut up” he sneered. “I mean Ariana’s like 16 so she's never really home, so we do.. get the house to ourselves quite a bit..” Jeff answered sheepishly “Great” Eddie turned to Luke “Mine are fuckin’ 3 and 5 but I mean we have some time sometimes” Luke shrugged “How often is sometimes?” Luke cleared his throat and dropped his voice to an awkward tone “Like.. two… three times.. a week” he looked out at the water.

“Jesus christ, so it's not like a normal thing?” he slumped back in his chair, looking back at you, smiling widely as you now stood splashing water at Roxette, not on the beach anymore. “Have you talked to her?” Jeff asked “I mean no not really, but she's made it obvious she doesn’t wanna do anything, so I've just kinda backed off” he looked back at his friend. “But you've tried like starting something?” “Yeah, less and less now but yeah”

“You tried getting her drunk?” Gareth chuckled but fell dead silent as Eddie began to lean forward about to get up and smack him “Chill chill!” he held his hands out in front of him, awaiting the attack. “I just meant loosen her up a little, get her relaxed maybe put her mind off things”

“You're a dick” Eddie flipped him off “He does kind of have a point, maybe she’ll relax a bit” Luke cleared his throat “We could I dunno all sit ‘round the fire after all the kids have gone to bed. Then she might not have to worry about that ya know?”

“I mean I guess, but isn't that like a complete asshole move, get her drunk just so I can get her into bed?” he made a slight look of disgust at the thought “Not drunk, just a little I guess tipsy?”

The conversation continued for a while before the topic changed to Jeff's new job, all sat in the sun basking in the light, soaking it up and talking about nonsense. Ophelia and Roxy came out of the water and Eddie watched as you dried them off lovingly and led them up to the house. He was nursing his fourth beer, head starting to go a little fuzzy as Simone too sent Tom and Oliver up to the house, Nancy was left throwing Bianca around in the water as the other three laughed and all shouted me! me! Me!’s, Dustin the two year old splashing happily by the waters edge. Simone and Tracy made their way up the sand to sit with the guys.

Tracy told Jeff she was going to check on Ariana as Simone plopped herself down in Luke’s lap happily giving him a kiss following up with a giggle when she pulled back “Jesus how many beers have you drank”. She sat mostly quiet as they all continued, now about some recent U.S news, jumping in to add to the conversation as she draped her arm around Luke's shoulders.

Eddie had his back to the house as he opened his fifth beer and leaning back even more into the chair, he didn't see as you came back out of the house walking down towards them. Only laying eyes on you as you rounded his chair at the end of the row of them facing the water, barely registering you before you stood before him. As the others continued talking he looked up at you expectantly, waiting for you to say something, assuming you had come to ask something of him. His heart skipped a beat as you inched closer to him, his fingertips grazing your thigh. “Can I sit?” you ask with a sweet smile, his cloudy brain was too gone with the cool fizzing beer to register that you had spoken as he broke out in a grin witnessing your happy face, it warmed him to see you, you being happy made him happy. He suddenly realised you had talked to him and shook his head attempting to look up at you more serious, you giggled softly at him as he straightened his face up, but hearing those sweet little noises of content made that dopey grin fall right back into place “I said, can I sit?” your voice was so sweet it made his whole brain stop.

“Oh, yeah” he chuckled as he sat up properly, hands itching to touch you. His dopey grin became even dopier, even wider as you turned and bent down to place yourself in his lap, legs coming to curl up and feet slot between his thigh and the space under the armrest. When you settled Eddie’s hand holding his beer settled over your thighs and his other came around your waist, wrapping around you and pulling you towards him to lean against his chest. He almost died as he saw your smile widen at the action and nestle into him, and then even wider as he placed a kiss to your shoulder. He was on cloud nine at the fact that you were sitting in his lap, smiling away. You haven't sat in his lap for a long looong time and the fact that you did it so easily made his heart squeeze and his head spin.

“Oh Simone you never got to tell me about your trip!” you exclaimed as the conversation quieted down “Oh right! So-” she began to recount her crazy trip to Japan she had taken a few weeks ago for work as Eddie took another sip of his beer, light shock painting his features as you took the bottle from him and took your own gulp while you listened intently. The sun was almost right behind Simone and you began to squint as you tried making eye contact with her, you turned to look down at Eddie for only a second before you realised he had his sunglasses on. Casually you reached up a hand to pull them off him and place them on your nose, Eddie chuckled at the action which made you giggle slightly as you continued listening.

With no glasses on now, everything was a lot brighter, he settled into the new position and calmed down from his excitement and finally got a chance to register what you were wearing. A floral short white skirt he had seen before, he remembered well, because last time you had worn it was last year dropping the kids off at Steve’s for a sleepover. Oh he remembered it very well, last time your worn it you'd snuggled up to him on a blanket in the far end of the garden, hidden by trees and bushes, only to be seen from the house and gotten a little bit frisky, teasing turned to tickling which turned to Eddie lying on top of you pounding into you at a furious pace with your panties pushed to the side.

The memories flooded back to him and he realised that if he just moved his hand on your waist down a little bit, and then a little bit more he would find the hem of it and could slip his hands under the fabric to rest his broad palm on the fat of your ass, give you a little squeeze. Before he had time to consider it his eyes cast a glance at your top. Fuck. That brown crochet halter top that he had seen you curled up on the couch making as you watched tv in late January. From his position he could see right over you, tits pushed together by the way the triangles tied behind your neck, could see that one little freckle he always liked to give a kiss, could see that little scar almost hidden on the right. Fuck he wanted to grab them, and kiss them, and suck on your nipples to draw that one little whine at first contact, no he wanted to watch them bounce up and down in you bra as you rode him, no! He wanted to watch them bounce up and down as he sat back on his calves thrusting into you so aggressively that your tits would bounce up and slap you in the face and make you roar out laughing, NO! he wanted to hover over your ribs as you looked up at him with that twinkle in your eyes as you held your tits together, mushing around his cock slipping back and forth in the lube he kept in his nightstand. FUCK.

He had to look away, something, something that could find his attention, yes the tag on the bottle you were holding, yeah he was gonna read that. Now is not the time to get hard you asshole, she’s only just sat in your lap, for the first time in ages! on your dick… like right on it… no, fuck, you piece of shit, she’s gonna feel if you get hard and she’s not gonna be happy about it. Well she is smiling, she seems really happy.. Yeah so don’t ruin it fucker, remember last night? Yeah exactly. He was fighting with himself as he pretended to read the beer bottle, eyes following as it moved from its place on the arm rest with your hands loosely wrapped around it, followed it up to your lips as he saw you laugh and press your lips to the rim.

Oh shit those lips he wanted to kiss so badly, wait maybe he could? That's ok right? Kissing? We still kiss? It's not like we don't kiss? Fuck it, if he wanted to kiss his wife, he was going to kiss his wife.

As you brought the bottle back down to the armrest Eddie moved on instinct, his body working faster than his brain, his hand slunk out from under your arms and up to cup your cheek, causing you to turn to him in question, eyebrows raised awaiting him to say something. He didn't say anything, he only began to pull his hand back, slowly bringing you with him. He closed his eyes, it felt like forever, forever forever forever, until suddenly soft lips on his. Everything was in slow motion as if the world stopped around him as moisturised soft plump lips met his own, barely a craze, just a touch and then more, closer, lips pressing slowly to each other and then at its destination, pressed against your lips in a kiss that made him explode inside. Suddenly your lips drew back and so did you.

It was just a peck, a simple peck, but it made his heart stop, as well as time, the world and just about everything else around him. A sigh escaped his chest in content as he opened his eyes to see you smile down at him, his own smile quickly matching yours before you drew back and looked back to Simone. His brain was swimming around in a pool in his head, everything was a daze as he watched you lick your lips and grin slightly, turning to him again to whisper “Taste like beer” that cute nose in a scrunch as you spoke to him.

The daze halted as he chuckled “You too” which earned a smile from you and moved his hand back to splay across your thighs. Finally he turned to the rest of the group and lay notice to Steve a knowing wide grin directed at you, Simone in full ramble as Luke looked up at her in awe, Jeff listening in, and Gareth with an evil smirk on his lips, staring right at him. Eddie's smile faded and was replaced with a sneer directed towards his friend. Gareth's eyes flicked to you and back to Eddie as he mouthed an ooh which made Eddie's loose grip on you tighten immediately and pull you even closer to him, this time not easing up on his hold but insistent on holding you close, as if shielding you from Gareth.

Lunch came along not soon after, thankfully not as hectic as breakfast as Dustin and Suzie had grilled a bunch of hotdogs of various diets and put them all on one table along with bread, ketchup, mustard and dried onions. Everyone free to get drinks out of the various coolers around the kitchen.

The rest of the day was very similar to the morning, everyone hustled outside once the temperatures dropped a few degrees. Both you and Eddie had kept an eye on the girls as you mingled with all the parents and friends around the beach until eventually you walked up to Eddie placing your hand gently by his elbow to tell him you were going to go further up and lie down on a blanket and read in the grass. Eddie had taken the role of watching over the kids as they swam in the lake, at first only watching from the waters edge as he spoke to Dustin and Mike until he ran out on the jetty and cannonballed right next to Roxette, hitting the bottom immediately and landing right on his ass bouncing up to be splashed back in the face by Ophelia. She screamed in laughter as he picked her up and threw her away from him.

When he came up again water dripping down his skin he rejoined Steve and Lucas, as Lucas turned to tell Max something Steve nudged him and cocked his head behind him to the grass “Your wifes asleep” he chuckled as he motioned for Eddie to see you on your stomach, face resting in your crossed arms and book falling from your loosened grasp on it. “Go, I’ll look after the kids” he grinned as Eddie turned back to him. “You sure? I don't wanna-” “Yes I’m sure, just go spend some quality time with your girl” he grinned “Doubt it’ll be much quality time seeing as shes passed out but yeah ok, thanks dude” Eddie patted him on the back as he trudged through the sand, grabbing his towel on the way and patting himself dry.

Yup you were fast asleep he noticed as he got to the blanket and heard your soft snores, he bent down and picked your book up, dog earring the page, closing it and tossing it down into the grass. He groaned softly as he crouched down, falling flat onto his back next to you. Propping his head up on one hand while the other lay limp against his stomach he stared up at the sky through his now retrieved sunglasses. His gaze broke to turn and look towards you as he heard you stir in your sleep, you twisted your hips to pull the leg facing him up in a bend, knee nudging his hip. You seemed to relax for a few seconds before you grunted and turned to fully lay on your side, hands coming to press together and hold your head up only slightly.

Once again you relaxed and Eddie watched you amused with a smile on his face until suddenly an annoyed groan left you and the hand not forced against the ground slipped out from under your head shooting out in search of something. You blindly slapped lightly at the blanket before moving and slapping again, and again until your pinky came in contact with his skin, you hand lifted and slapped lightly against Eddie's chest, he had to fight the snort that threatened to fall from his throat as he watched you.

Finally your hand seemed to find the right place on his chest but surprisingly enough you didn't relax again, instead still hazy with sleep and with your eyes closed you moved on the blanket towards him, forcing your hips forward until you were flush against him. A heavy head thudded to his chest forced an oof to spill from his lips and a thick thigh moved and dropped heavily to drape across him.

You nestled up against him and finally you seemed to relax.

Eddie was beaming, the hand previously on his stomach searching for his towel to prop it up under his head and letting him wrap his arms around you to hold you to him. Soft breathing matched up to an even rise and fall of both your chests as Eddie soaked you up. The happiness he was feeling didn't last though, soon enough he too had fallen asleep under the hot sun and your skin against his.

Both of you awoke with groans as something landed on you, a very wet, very excited Roxette. “Why are you sleeping it's swim time!” she squealed as she rolled off Eddie and sat up. You groaned in pain as you too sat up “Cuz mom and dad are tired Roxy, so please don't jump on us” you told her as you stretched, Eddie doing the same from the ground. “But mom I wanna go play!” she stood up jumping up and down “Ok ok I’m coming hang on” Eddie was about to say something when you stood up and were whisked away by his daughter.

Dinner was tapas, everybody had brought a dish or some sort of food from the store ready to eat from the get go and was set up this time by someone other than Dustin and Suzie. You talked happily to Robin, Nancy, Will and his boyfriend Winter as you all set out plates, cutlery and food for tiny hands to grab excitedly. You ate in conversation with most of the hellfire club as you sat next to Eddie on a worn leather couch, pressing up to him and letting him give you the occasional kiss to your temple or lips, smiling the whole time. Eventually your plate was finished off and Eddie felt you slump against him after putting your plate on the table. His hand wrapped around your shoulders to rest your head on his for a while until eventually you leaned up and told him you were going to lay down for a bit.

You left with a squeeze to your hand and a sympathetic smile from your husband. You were planning on just having a lie down or maybe a quick nap but suddenly your clothes were to hot and too tight and too stifling so you quickly changed out of them and threw on the same ragged t-shirt from last night, falling onto the bed, not getting too comfortable because you didn't really want to fall asleep. The universe didn't seem to hear you though and soon you were fast asleep on top of the bed.

That's how Eddie found you after putting the kids to bed an hour later, knowing they wouldn't sleep with all the excitement of the other kids around but getting them to brush their teeth and change into their pyjamas. They had asked Eddie where you were and why you weren't saying goodnight so Eddie had to explain “Moms not feeling very well so she's resting but she’ll probably come say night night later”. When you told him you were going to your room it seemed like you just needed some quiet but that was clearly not the case when he found you like a log atop the covers.

He sighed, you needed your rest, the past year of work was clearly catching up to you but yet again he couldn't help the slight disappointment when he found you, he'd gotten hopeful and excited from the day, you'd been a lot more touchy than you ever had been the past few months, cuddling up to him, stealing kisses and it seemed that whenever you were near him you had a need to have some sort of contact, whether it be pressed up against him or his arm around you or even just your hand on his arm or thigh but he had to accept that you were too tired and needed to sleep.

Carefully he pulled the covers from under you and placed them back on you as you adjusted in your sleep to lie on your side. Just like yesterday he got in next to you and wrapped his arms around you as the big spoon. Falling asleep to the scent of your hair which his nose was nuzzled against.

This morning the girls actually knocked, waking Eddie from his light slumber to hum a yes at them to come in. Slowly you roused and sat up in bed to listen to your two excited girls tell you all about the cup phones they all made yesterday after dinner and how they had them crisscrossed around the room to talk to each other as Eddie rounded the bed, giving a kiss to your forehead before leaving the room to take a shower.

You were more relaxed at breakfast now that you knew what was coming and you even enjoyed it, sat at the dining table in conversation with Argyle and his girlfriend Eden, Winter and Jonathan's wife Charlotte who got the group's attention by balancing her cereal bowl on her 8 months pregnant belly which you found out would be her and Jonathan's fourth.

Across the room Eddie sat in an armchair next to Steve and Gareth “So you and your girl seemed to be very close yesterday” Steve leaned over and dropped his voice, “Yeah pay off? She put out?” Gareth grinned “That threat of me beating you ass is still on the table” Eddie stared at Gareth who only chuckled “But to answer your question, no she was asleep by the time I got to our room” Eddie shrugged, even if Gareth could be an assshole when it came to women he didnt want it to show that he was disappointed, it would only egg him on.

“Maybe we could do that bonfire thing tonight?” Steve suggested lightly “Besides I wouldn't mind some fun with Nance, she gets so exited when shes drunk its fuckin hilarious” he grinned and looked over towards how wife “Last time she was jumping around imitating a bunny she saw on kids tv” the other two laughed at the picture.

“Sure, we’ll go into town get some drinks, I think Dustin said he only had beer” Eddie shrugged happily.

Today was not the different from yesterday, things to do inside and people down at the beach splashing away. “Hey” Eddie bent down to talk to you as you sat on the couch playing shoots and ladders with a few of the kids after lunch “so were all having a bonfire night once the kids have gone to bed” Eddie smiled wide at your happy smile “so me and some of the guys are heading into town to pick some stuff up” you nodded and gave him a kiss before he headed off with Will and Dustin.

Dinner passed and you were pleasantly surprised that tiredness hadn’t overcome you. All the parents tucked their kids into bed and made a clear point that if anything were to happen they were just outside and to come get them if they needed to.

Eddie called your name with a yo you in here? as he knocked on the bathroom door nearest your bedroom, instead of answering him you unlocked the door and peeped out an intense stare directed his way “Sorry you can't come in without a warrant” you broke out into a grin as you went to shut the door, Eddies hand grasping onto the wood and forcing it open in a fit of giggles as you tried to fight him. Finally he stumbled in, almost knocking you over and catching you in his arms.

He locked the door behind him as he looked down at you “Mmm you smell nice” he hummed as his eyes took in your bare face, damp to match you hair, you giggled “Just had a shower” you explained as you slid out of his hold to pick your clothes off the floor. Eddie was slightly miffed as you brushed past him in just your towel and unlocked the door but he followed nonetheless.

Walking behind you as you tread carefully over the floorboards, hips swaying from side to side as you walked, Eddie leaned back to get a full view of you, hair wet and dripping water over your shoulders, thighs peeking out from under the towel, only long enough to cover your ass, eyes rolling to the back of his head as the towel pulled up slightly to reveal a peak of the bottom. Within an instant his hands circled your waist and picked you up, leaning back on his feet to pull you up off the floor. You squealed at him to let you down as you giggled, only dropping you back down to land softly when he thought he might fall over backwards from bending to steep.

“What was that?” you whispered as you began walking again, Eddie awkwardly tumbling along with his arms still around you “You just looked so liftable” he whispered back biting your cheek mischievously. You snorted an ok and opened the door to your bedroom.

Today you had been in a good mood, it seemed the long night sleep and absence of pressure to be productive had taken to you and you were still on a high from it. So pleased that you didn't even let your mind work up into a frenzy as Eddie let you go and flopped onto the bed.

You didn't think anything of it as you dropped the towel to change, the fact that Eddie hadn’t seen you naked since before christmas didn't even cross your mind.

Stood with your back to him you rooted through your bag to find a comfortable pair of sweats and a hoodie, preparing for the cold outside now that the sun had gone beyond the horizon. Eddie sat up straight in an instant. Eyes bulging wide and trained on you as the towel dropped to the floor when you found your clothes. He swallowed thick as you moved to another bag to look for underwear.

Holy shit. You were naked, like fully naked, no towel, no nothing covering you. Fuck he hadn’t seen this sight in over six months and here you were bathed in the moonlight and dim lighting of the old ceiling lamp, gold cast over your body, spotlighting the smooth skin, and rolls of your back, the stretch marks and cellulite of your thighs, the dimples in your back, every little colour and inked tattoo that showed in your skin. All out for him to see, all for him.

You turned with your clothes clutched to your chest to see a pin straight Eddie with wide awestruck eyes, mouth open in shock. “What?” you chuckled confused as you walked over to the foot of the bed, dropping your clothes onto the fabric. Eddie's brain stopped working as your front was revealed to him, soft breasts sloping down in a natural drop, a sliver of metal and nipples almost out of sight, round and calling to him like two beams of light in the night, your soft stomach spilling down, a patch of hair covering your puffy mound, framed by your soft doughy thighs. Fuck he just wanted to grip and suck and lick and kiss everything he saw right now, matter of fact he wanted to get down on his hands and knees and worship the ground you walked on as well as whatever higher entity out there that had created you.

You started to grow slightly uncomfortable under his gaze, suddenly feeling extremely exposed, an urge to cover yourself growing strong. In a rush you reached for your underwear to pull the black brazilian cut lace panties over your ass and hips. You looked over at Eddie again to see his mouth open and close as he blinked, awfully resembling a fish, it only encouraged you to get dressed faster, clasping the black bra and spinning it around to pull the straps up your arms. Once again you looked at Eddie, whose expression still had not changed, you threw the t-shirt over your head and jumped into your sweats, pulling the hoodie over yourself as you looked back. “Umm” Eddie started but trailed off “I'm going to the bathroom” you blurted out and within seconds you had practically ran out of the door.

Eddie stayed still, blinking and trying to wrap his head around what he had just seen. Finally he snapped out of it and shook his head, falling over on his side with a loud groan, pulling at the sheet to cover his face. What is wrong with you?! Your wife is naked for the first time in fucking forever and you just sit there?! He groaned even louder as he smushed his face into the comforter.

Finally you came to the realisation that you had just been naked in front of Eddie for the first time in a really long time, you rushed back into the bathroom and sat down on the toilet with your face in your hands. Well clearly you weren't just ugly on the inside now, you were ugly on the outside too. Why else would he just sit there and stare at you like you'd grown a second head? UGH what were you going to do?! You had finally loosened up, you were happy within yourself for the first time in ages and felt comfortable around Eddie again, you clearly should have had more control over yourself. He no longer found you attractive, Jesus Christ why were you kidding yourself?

A knock on the door broke you out of your spiral as you weakly asked a yes, the person outside of the door cleared their throat. It was Eddie. Oh, no, no no no no no. “Um, uh you wanna go down? Uh Mike just said the fire is lit” his voice sounded strained, uncomfortable. He was uncomfortable because he’d seen you naked and didnt like it, and now you had nowhere to hide AAAARGHHHH. “Yeah sure” your voice was broken as you spoke.

Slowly slowly you stand, slowly slowly you step towards the door, and slowly slowly you turn the nob. Eyes pinned to the floor as you walk out of the door, you see Eddie's feet as you walk past them and walk down the hall, you hear him follow behind you. This is the worst feeling, so much worse than coming home late from work hungry, or being in too big of a crowd, or too tight clothes on a hot sweaty day, this unease is so much worse.

Time ticks by slowly as you feel like you're walking to your execution, feet dragging across the floor shameful as Eddie walks behind you. Anxiety, heartbreak, stress, unease, insecurity all bubble up in your chest, threatening to bubble up to the surface through hot tears if you let yourself. You feel it in your chest, plummeting down to your stomach and spreading all through your body like slim black vines as if a disease, darkening everything inside you. Until a touch, a slight intentional braze of fingers that send sparks, gold touching at your hip and overpowering some of the black. Gold vines take over throughout your hip as you feel a soft hand grasp onto it, guiding you down the stairs.

Another spark of gold bleeding out into your vines on the other as Eddie holds softly onto your hips as your feet hit the ground floor. Gold vines that threaten to overpower the black and meet in the middle just below your belly button. Your breath hitches and speeds up in anxiety.

One hand leaves your hip and the gold dies off as quickly as it came, as the first on your right hip slips to hold the small of your back, the gold follows, bleeding from its starting point and stretching as you bend down to slip into your sneakers. The hand never wavers as Eddie leans down to slip his own shoes on, the heat from it causing the gold to continue without the order of touch, spreading slowly through your back, creeping up your spine in a shiver.

He opens the door to near 20 people scattered around a brazen fire, reds and oranges contrasting the deep dark blues of the sky and the shade its cast around them all. You step cautiously down the now dark green stairs, feet hitting the gravel before they hit grass as you veer off to the side away from the parking lot. “Hey” Eddie whispered beside you as you walk, coming to a stop as you turn to look up at him. Eyes glassy and scared at what his words might do to you. Just as he opens his mouth “Hey!” Robin runs over and pulls you off by the arm so she can show you something.

Eddie stands frozen, What just happened? he was about to apologise to you for being so weird. His feet drive him forward however and before he can think it over he’s by the mass of people, eyes zoning in on the table of drinks set up he makes a beeline for it. Pouring a shot of tequila he downs it, and then a second, before he can get ahead of himself he picks up a beer can, popping the tab he scans the crowd. His eyes find Steve not far away and quickly he's marching over “I need to talk to you” he says with a grip on the man's arm almost pulling him away from the scene.

A few metres away from the nearest cluster of figures he stops “Dude what's up?” Steve chuckles, confused “I just saw her naked” is all Eddie can say, Steve's confusion just deepens on his face “For the first time in over like six months” he widens his eyes willing Steve to understand. “Oh, oooh how’d it go?” Steve grins. “Fucking terrible!” Eddie shouts exasperated, quickly straightening up with eyes wide turning to see if someone heard. Everyones too fixated on their own conversation as he looks over at the people around the campfire but he finds you at the drinks table with Robin and Nancy cheering you on as you seem to be taking three shots in a row.

He turns back to Steve “How was it terrible?” Stevs confused again as he stares up at the taller man “Because Steve, she took her towel off and I just sat there” Steves face shows once again that he doesn’t understand “I just sat there, gawking at her like I’d never seen tits before, like some fuckin’ teenager” he grits. “Oh. Wait so walk me through it” he took a swig of his own can, some fruity cider. “Ok. So she was in the room, well actually, no, here” Steve frowns at Eddie's backtracking “So she was in the bathroom so I knocked on it and she stuck her head out grinning saying I needed a restraining order” Steve smirked but chose not to make a comment “And so she liked tried to close the door and I tried to open it and get in. Ah before you say anything it was just like flirty fun, nothing weird” Steve nodded “And she was all giggly, then we left the bathroom and I like picked her up and she was all giggly then too” “Ok ok” Steve nodded along “Then when we got to the room I just sat on the bed and she just like dropped the towel while she was looking for her clothes, then she turned and I think she said something I can't remember, but then she started like pulling all her clothes on, said she was going to the bathroom and ran off” he finished his recounting of the recent events with a few large gulps of his beer, almost downing half of it.

“Sounds like you freaked her out dude. Did you like explain why you were being so weird?” Steve tipped his head back to finish the rest of his cider. “Well I was gonna but then Robin just came up and ran off with her” both of them looked over to see you now stood with Robin, Nancy, Max and El a large glass of wine in your hand.

“Just go up and talk to her now, explain” Eddie screwed his face up at the thought of pulling you away to awkwardly explain why he just sat there “Listen, Nancy gets insecure about her body sometimes maybe she is too” Steve shrugged as they looked back to each other “She's like never ever insecure though, and I don't even think its hiding, she likes her body ya know” the rest of Eddies beer was slung down his throat. “Yeah but you might have made her insecure dude” “Ugh don't say that!” Eddie groaned, his beer was gone he needed something to fiddle with, to distract him, patting his pockets he found his packet of cigarettes, ones he usually kept out of view so the kids wouldn't see him smoking. He flicked his zippo and took a long breath once the cigarette was lit.

“I’m serious dude, it's not just the first time you've seen her naked it's the first time she's been naked in front of you, might be kinda scary”

“Since when do you know all about women?”

“Wel-”

“Don't start” Eddie held his finger up to silence him.

“Just go talk to her ok?”

“Fine, but I’m gonna finish this up first, think you can go get me a beer? Don't really wanna look like im ignoring her”

“Sure” Steve walked off as Eddie turned his back to the fire to crane his neck back in frustration, looking up at the sky.

“Steve used to be like that with me” Nancy giggled in the huddle as Steve walked up to grab a beer and another cider. “I used to be like what?” he grinned as he leaned over the table “Butt out dingus” Robin stuck her tongue out “Nothing babe” Nancy hid a grin behind her solo cup as she looked away. Steve narrowed his eyes in suspicion at his wife “It's just girltalk” you smiled at him which made Steve's face break out into an expression you couldn't read.

“Alright well” Steve spun on his heel and power walked back to Eddie “You better talk to her now, I’m pretty sure I overheard the girls talking about it” Steve rushed as he forced the cold can into Eddie's hands. “Oh for fucks sake” he groaned as he took the beer and began walking over to the table. He saw as Robin awkwardly hushed the group as she laid eyes on him which made his nerves bubble up, yeah they were definitely talking about it.

“Drink all that beer that fast?” Robin chuckled as Eddie neared “Mmhmn no” Eddie held his unopened can up for show as he arrived behind you “Can I talk to you?” he bend down as he dropped his voice lower, breath fanning over your ear as he spoke. “Ok” you whispered back meekly. He had no idea about girl code, and had absolutely no clue what the looks all the others were giving you meant as you set your plastic wine glass on the table and turned to walk away from them.

You walked silently side by side as he nonverbally steered you towards the cars, the three shots and half glass of wine causing for a pleasant buzz, dampening some of the anxiety you felt “Um you want a beer?” he asked quietly as he held out the can towards you when you came to a stop by your own car “No thanks” you mumbled as Eddie seemed to cage you in at the hood of the car. You frowned surprised when he flung the can behind him to softly roll into the grass, he needed his hands free for this and he hadn't had a chance to drink it before he came over.

“So what you wanna talk about?” you fiddled with the string of the cuffs of your worn out hoodie which was actually Eddies as you leaned back to prop yourself slightly on the hood of the car. “Um I just wanted to uh tell you I'm sorry for just like sitting there super awkward before” he looked down at you as you stared into his stomach unwilling to meet his gaze. “If I’m being honest I was just like shocked, we haven't really uh done.. that, in like a long time and it was just sudden” he saw you physically curl in on yourself which made him freak out “No no not like bad sudden, good sudden” you finally met his gaze, looking up at him confused “Fuck, I just mean like I’ve missed you and my brain just like short circuited” he tried to get you to understand.

A breath he didnt know he had been holding finally escaped his lips as he saw a small smile tug on your lips “I dont wanna make you like uncomfortable, but when I saw you I was just like, holy fuck, she’s naked and I think this is the best thing I’ve ever seen” the grin that spread on his face was a relieved one as you snorted a laugh “Im serious, like baby” his hands came to rest on your shoulder “You are so fuckin’ sexy and just every part of you is like some greek goddess has sculpted you or something. I’m totally ok with us not being intimate, even though I do miss you I just want you to feel safe and comfortable, and for you to be happy but I really do miss you. Obviously I miss you like as a person, you're my wife, and the mother of my children and I love you so much, but like above that fuuuuuck I miss being with you” he groaned as he thought about how long it had been.

Something swelled within you at his words, you wanted to laugh at his phrasing of being sculpted by a greek goddess but the meaning behind the words were just too flustering and sincere. And following up with that stupid wording he knew made you weak in the knees, mother of my children, yeah you liked that. You were the mother of his children, his wife.

“I’m sorry” you whispered as Eddies hands travelled down to rub up and down your arms “It’s just been a lot recently, in my head and work and all and I pushed you away I’m sorry” Eddie manoeuvred his knee to push yours apart so he could stand between them and be closer to you “Don’t say sorry, you have nothing to be sorry for. We’ve both just been shit at telling each other things” as he towered over you you craned your neck back to see him properly, a grin spread across your face as you said in a whiny voice “Communication is key”.

Eddie laughed and brought his arms to wrap around your shoulders, pressing your face into his chest as he hugged you, kissing the top of your head as your own arms wrapped around his waist. You both lingered for a while as you hugged each other tight until Eddies arms loosed and he pulled back to look down at you again “While I do want to know what's been going through your pretty little head lately, why don't we go enjoy the fire and talk more when we get back?” you nodded with a smile. Eddie turned to walk back with you but spun around as you called his name. “One more thing” “Mm?” you grasped onto the fabric of his sweatshirt and pulled him down towards you.

Lips meeting his in a desperate hungry kiss you wrapped your arms around Eddie's neck as his hands went to your hips, holding you softly to keep himself upright. He thought you were just going in for a long kiss when you broke off but soon enough your lips were back on him again as your fingers snaked through his locks. Another kiss and a tug at his hair had him groaning into your mouth as his hands squeezed tighter at your hips. A few more kisses and he felt your tongue poke softly at his lips telling him to open them. He pulled you flush against him as tongues swiped at each other, his hands moving from your hips past your back to grab angrily at you ass, pulling you up to stand and pushing your hips against his, forcing his hard cock against your mound, groaning at the contact and pressing even harder against you.

You pulled away from his lips and quickly out of his grasp “Ok now I’m happy” you laced your fingers with his as he stood dumbstruck, you began walking pulling him along with you “What??” his voice was slightly loud as he stumbled along after you “What? I said one more thing, that was my thing” you turned to grin at him wickedly “Oh you little-” he let go of you to run after you and lift you up off your feet as you squealed. The second he let you down you ran off with Eddie hot on your tail, tackling you almost immediately and turning you in his hold to face him so he could attack your hips with wiggling fingers, laughing as you shrieked from the tickling.

He ceased his attack on your sides as you stepped closer to the group, wrapping his arms around you once again and stepping up behind you to join the group around the drinks table. Steve gave him a knowing smirk as you bent over still attached to Eddie to retrieve a beer for him from the cooler on the ground and your wine, you giggled as he shoved the hand hold the ice cool beer under your hoodie to press against your warm stomach, fighting to move his hands away from you. “OOH smores! Come on!” Robin beckoned the group to sit in the half circle of logs around the fire, all squeezing together to fit as Robin planted herself on the ground to fish marshmallows out of ita bag.

“May I interest you in a shot of everclear mi ladies?” Gareth grinned as he stumbled over to you, Eddie, Nancy and Steve on one of the longs “Nah nah” Eddie waved the hand not wrapped around you in dismissal, “We got kids you dummy, gotta get up in the morning” Steve rolled his eyes at him. “More for me!” Gareth swiped all four each one after the other “I am NOT on duty to take care of this one!” Eddie held a hand up in the air as Gareth finished his last one. “Whaaaat? You don't wanna be my daddy?!” Gareth whined as he toppled over onto Eddie, Eddie’s hand coming to push him off, pressing hard against his stomach while everyone else laughed.

“Go sit down you drunk” Eddie motioned for Gareth to sit down next to Steve. “Oh hey Rob’s can you get me a vodka coke?” You smiled as the woman in question pushed herself off the ground, she gave you a thumbs up as Eddie leaned in “Vodka? How much have you drank already?” His breath fanned once again against you ear as he spoke to you in a low murmur “Eh its fine, I’m not planning on getting drunk” you waved him off “Mhm” Eddie hummed sarcastically as you grinned up at him.

“Jesus Robin how much did you put in here” your face scrunched up as you took a sip, you didn't particularly mind the taste of alcohol but you hadn't expected it to taste so incredibly strong “Like 80% vodka 20% coke” she grinned a dopey mischievous grin as she found her seat again “Chug it ya wont taste it” her grin widened even more “Come on chug chug chug!” she clapped her hands together as a few of the girls chimed in “You don't have to” Eddie searched your face with serious eyes “No no it's fine” your grin matched Robins as you looked up at him before swallowing the whole of the contents in the red solo cup. You cheered along excitedly as you crushed it and threw it down onto the ground.

Eddie felt you sway slightly as you sat up straight, well it seemed like the getting tipsy had gone a little too well, no doubt by the end of the evening you would be hammered and pass out again on the bed. It's fine he told himself, we’ll just do something.. another day. “Yo lets go get the chairs it's getting kinda cramped over here” Dustin walked over with Lucas and Mike on his tail “Oh sure. You gonna be ok?” he bent down to ask you as you stared up at the sky in a daze. “Huh? Oh yeah yeah” yup you were definitely drunk as you tried to focus your eyes on his face, he had a slight suspicion Robin hadnt put one single brand of vodka in your cup before handing it to you. “Nance could you..” he trailed off as he motioned to you, asking her to keep an eye on you, she nodded happily as he stood up, hands hovering around you to make sure you didn't fall over.

When he saw you could sit by yourself he grabbed into his sweatshirt by the collar and pulled it over his head, the fire was getting too warm for him, dropping it down next to you to occupy his place he got up and followed the others down to the edge of the beach.

“Oh!” you squealed as you planted a hand on his hoodie to feel the square cardboard box, digging through his pocket in mass concentration you managed to free the cigarettes and flipped open the top to see his zippo and a few cigarettes. Pulling the zippo and a cigarette out you turned to face Nancy, Tracy and Simone again as you lit the cigarette. Happily taking the next red solocup handed your way by Tracy. Taking a long breath and giggling as the nicotine swam up to your head, mind feeling floaty as you swayed from side to side, even more so as you sipped what seemed to be more vodka coke, this time not as strong.

“Aw man who let you-” Eddie cut himself off as returned a few minutes later, plucking the zippo and carton out of your hands after placing a chair down in the half circle of logs. You cackled as you watched him shove the packet out of view, this time into his jeans “Baby you know how you get when you smoke drunk” he grabbed into your free hand helping you stand up as you sucked down your second cigarette, almost empty solo cup left behind on the log. He led you back to the chairs to see one empty chair left “Really dude?” Gareth grinned as he spread out into the chair next to the empty one, revelling in Eddie's annoyance “Fine” Eddie breathed “Wait here” he told you as he turned to get his sweatshirt.

Gareth mumbled something to you as you swayed, trying not to fall over “What?” you almost shouted as you leaned forward, placing your hands on the armrest of Gareth's chair and dropping your head down to hear him. He said something again but your mind was too fuzzy to understand as you brought the cigarette back up to your lips. “Gareth stop flirting with my wife” you heard Eddie grit behind you as his hands slithered around your hips to bring you down with him as he sat down in the chair. “Whoo!” you squealed as you fell into Eddie's lap, flinging your hands into the air as if you were on an amusement park ride.

When you’d brought them back down you took another drag of the cigarette, closing your eyes as you exhaled, falling backwards onto Eddie's shoulder as your head began to spin back and back with the kick.

Eddie chuckled as he plucked the tobacco from your fingers and began talking to Will and Winter, he knew this was going to happen, everytime you drank and smoked your head began to spin, same with weed and smoking, if he wasn't careful enough you would fall flat on your ass with the dizziness. Suddenly you shot up, leaning forward “Oh Ophi loves that magazine!” you must have picked up on Winter talking about some fashion magazine Eddie hadn't heard of before. Soon you were in a deep conversation about the fashion industry and how hiphop had had an effect on it but within seconds Eddie zoned out.

You kept swaying back and forth, body vibrating with laughter as you flung yourself from side to side varying between leaning over to listen intently as catching up with your brain to form words. You were clearly quite out of it, wrapped up in your conversation and thinking nothing of it but Eddie did. The first few times you moved he didn't pay it any mind, but soon you were almost squirming above him, no longer just swaying but moving your ass, soon enough you were situated right on his crotch.

Eddie tried to pay attention to what Will was telling him, he really did but you just kept moving around, pressing even harder against him as you relaxed and dropped your weight down. The friction was just too much. Can she feel this? Does she even know she's moving so much? No she can’t feel I’m hard she’s too drunk. Fuck please don’t realize, shit. He wrapped his arms tighter around you, subtly trying to press you up against him more. What are you doing there’s people around! Fuuuuuck, you moved a little just as he pulled you flush to his chest and now he was situated right between your cheeks, pressure coming from all sides. He snapped his head when he heard you hum, could you actually feel him? Were you doing this on purpose?

Suddenly you turned your head and before he even had a chance to think about it your lips were on his in a hard kiss. As you broke apart he pulled away to frantically look around, Will and Winter were no longer next to you, he noticed them at the drinks table, now talking to Suzie, everyone else were in conversation all in their own worlds, drinking or making smores. Gareth had passed out next to him, Steve listened with a grin as Nancy talked excitedly, Jonathan and Charlotte were whispering to each other, matching smiles as their noses pressed to each others.

He found your eyes again, looking down at him with a drunken smile, eyes darting down to his lips with your pupils blown wide as glossed over, he gulped. That was a sight he hadn't seen in a long time, the want, need, in your eyes as you looked at him. You leant down again, capturing him in a sloppy kiss, he groaned into your mouth as you wriggled in his lap, turning to face him better. Hands coming up to wrap your arms around his shoulder as you sat twisted to face him. Lips smacking against each other desperately, hands planting firmly on your hips and squeezing, trying to twist you, and pull your chest to his.

Finally you broke apart with a heavy breath, Eddie's closed eyes opened slowly to admire your face with a smile. Before he had the chance though, you were sliding off him and getting to your feet with a grin, Eddie groaned and toppled over, hands coming to his crotch as his forehead almost nudged his knee. It had been a natural reaction, to cover his boner, now that he had he realised hiding it just made his problem all the more noticeable. He gave Steve the finger as he cackled at him just as you skipped off saying something about getting a drink.

Clearing his throat he had no other option but to follow his drunken wife, he reached for his sweatshirt that had been hung on the armrest and pulled it over him, making an effort to pull it down low in the front. Reluctantly he pulled himself out of the chair, his slow steps turning into large strides as he saw what you were doing. Within a second he was next to you pulling the bottle of everclear out of your hands “Hey!” you whined as you set your solo cup down. “Babe this is 95% alcohol, and I am not having you throw up all over me tonight” he set the bottle down and gathered you in a hug.

“Mean, you dont wanna take care of me? I see how it is” you joked as you made a show of untangling yourself from him, only making Eddie hold onto you tighter. “Of course I wanna take care of you” I’ll show you how fucking good I can take care of you “But I’d rather have you not throw up if I can” you made a mocking whine which caused a chuckle bubble up from Eddies chest.

“Let's get you some juice or something yeah?” he grinned down at you as you nodded “Jesus christ all these drinks and not a single thing alcohol free” he frowned as he inspected the table, all the mixers now gone. “There's some cartons inside” Dustin chipped in “Thanks dude”.

So Eddie was turning you in his arms to hold at your hips as he led you steadily up to the house, laughing as you stumbled and almost tripped over your own feet, slowly he led you up the steps and through the door. “Okay” he breathed as he walked you to the kitchen island, wrapping his arms around your waist and lifting you up to sit on the wood “Oh my god!” you squealed as he lifted you “I forgot you could do that! Do it again!” you squealed. Eddie shushed you quietly “I will if you keep your voice down a little, the kids are asleep downstairs” he pecked your lips as he turned to open the fridge “Oh riiiight” you leaned towards his back with an exaggerated whisper.

Just as Eddie turned he saw you about to fall over the edge, shooting a hand out to catch your arm, placing the juice on the table and coming around to hold onto both your arms and coax you upright. “Ok my little fall risk whose like a newborn baby that can't support its head” you snorted loudly as Eddie grabbed the juicebox next to you and poked the straw through the seal. Legs pressing up against the table to stand between your thighs, keeping you sitting up “Here, drink this” he held out the juicebox to you, which you took and drank all within one breath, slurping noises within the carton as you finished it.

Wiping your mouth you looked back up to him with a wide grin, collapsing into his chest and mushing your cheek to the green fabric. Eddie chuckled as his hands came to circle your back “I think it's time for you to go to bed yeah?” he whispered as you pushed yourself closer to him humming in agreement “But you have to carry me” Eddie laughed. He hadn’t carried you for a while, but he’d like to think he was still strong enough, lean muscles hidden under all his clothes from hard work at the auto shop. The only thing was that you were very drunk and he was afraid he’d drop you. “Ok” he whispered, marvelling in your giggle as he bent his knees and wrapped his arms around your thighs, throwing you over his shoulder.

“What? You told me to carry you” he drummed on your ass as he began walking past the dining table earning a drunken laugh from you.

Somehow he managed to make it up the stairs and down the hall, throwing you playfully onto the bed, just as he was about to pull away from you to stand up two hands fisted at his sweatshirt, pulling him onto the bed sloppily as your lips connected to his. As you continued kissing him he moved, never disconnecting his lips from yours as he lay himself between your thighs.

His brain stopped as he heard your soft moan against him as he pushed himself flush against your clothed cunt. He needed to hear that sound again. He thrusted his hips hard against yours to hear your moan again this time slightly louder, quick to muffle it by kissing you harder. One of his hands on your hips travelled quickly under your hoodie to first at your breast over your bra. FUUUUUCKKK he hadn’t gotten to feel your tits in so long and now that he did it felt like fucking heaven.

Grabbing onto you desperately as he set a pace of thrusting his hard cock against you, sloppily swiping his tongue against yours. Soft groans and moans from both of you muffled by each other as you made out. Eddie couldn't begin to explain how good this felt, kissing you, touching you, it was too much for him. His pace quickened against you as you pulled at his hair, other hand pulling at the hem of his sweatshirt. Getting the hint he sat up on his calves to rip his shirts off, cock throbbing with eagerness as your hands travelled lightly over his happy trail, past his stomach and up his chest, hand grabbing at his neck pulling him back to you.

His lips connected to yours again as he cupped your face and let your hand trail up his side and grip at his shoulder. He pulled away to breathe, staring down at your face, eyes blown wide and filled with lust, kiss bitten lips, hips squirming for friction against him. You were drunk, he knew he shouldn't be doing this when you were drunk but he couldn't help himself, he hadn't felt you in ages and now that he’d gotten a taste he couldn't stop himself.

Sitting up again he pulled at your hoodie, urging you to sit up so he could pull it off you, nimble fingers eagerly unclipping your bra before pushing you back against the bed. Breath cut short as his nose pushed against your cheek and his lips connected to yours. His hips gave a particularly hard thrust as his hand went back to squeezing at your now naked breast, barbell piercing pinched between his fingers as his other hand propped him up, causing you to moan against him as the zipper of his jeans caught against your clit, igniting a fire within your core you hadn't felt for a while.

Your moan egged him on to thrust even harder as his lips relentlessly kissed yours. He heard a knock at the door but chose to ignore it, he had you here, in your bed for the week, topless, kissing him, moaning for him, wanting him, there was nothing he would do to stop this moment. The knock came again and he pulled away yelling an angry “WHAT?!” into the room. Aggravated and annoyed that there was something outside of this room, the world that had stopped around him, that needed him more than you did right now, more than he needed you.

It showed on his face, the annoyance which dropped immediately as well as his heart as he heard the low scared whisper “Daddy?” his forehead dropped to yours as he closed his eyes, breathing out a sigh “Yeah?” he called without moving from his comfortable position against you. “Um.. I peed” the voice whispered shamefully, Roxette on the other side of the door, no doubt clutching her teddy bear close to her as she called for her dad.

Eddie sighed against you as you let out a low giggle, the whole situation was kind of funny. Eddie straining against his jeans and boxers, frustrated and only thinking of you naked below him and his daughter interrupting to tell him she peed herself.

“Coming!” he moved slightly above you, staring down in to your eyes as he whispered “Don't go anywhere I’ll be right back” a hard kiss to your lips as he scrambled off you, making no effort to cover his bare chest as he walked to the door, opening it and slipping out you heard Roxy on the other side of the door ask curiously “Where’s mom?” “Uh she’s sleeping”. Boner gone, and everything else that surrounded you, gone for the moment as he took his daughter into the bathroom, placing her in the shower as he ran to retrieve a fresh change of clothes and bedding in your room, groaning as he saw you now on the bed in only a pair of panties. Rushing as fast as he could to change the sheets, his daughter and then soak them all off and hang them up outside to dry.

The five minutes he thought it would take stretched to a near half hour as he was caught up having to explain to multiple people why he was hanging bedding up and then staying with Roxette as she begged him to stay till she drifted off.

Finally he made it back to your room, taking a heavy breath in preparation before opening the door, heart dropping as he found you naked atop the covers, on your side, and fast asleep.

He loved his daughters but could they be more of a cockblock?! He went through the same motions as yesterday, tucking you in and shuffling in next to you to wrap his arms around you. He had to remind himself that there were five days left of this trip, plenty of opportunities to get you alone.

You woke up confused, head throbbing and.. naked? Why were you naked? You frowned as you tried to remember last night: Getting dressed and feeling insecure, shots, talking to Eddie about it, more drinking, something in the kitchen and oh right you and Eddie made out shirtless but you couldn't remember anything else. “Hey Eddie” you nudged the man behind you who groaned “Eds” your shook him slightly “What?” he grumbled behind you “Did we have sex last night?” you turned in his arms to face him as he opened his eyes “We were about to but Roxette peed herself” he murmured, there was a hint of annoyance and frustration in his voice as he recounted last nights events before nuzzling into your shoulder and pulling you tighter against him. “Oh” you breathed as you hand found his back, “Total cockblock” he mumbled against your skin drawing a snort from your throat.

So you were about to have sex with Eddie last night, for the first time in over six months. You found as you thought about it that you weren’t totally against that idea, it felt strange thinking about it, for so long you’d set up walls to block him out and now you felt like you didn't want them there anymore. They were in your way.

A knock at the door pulled you out of your thoughts “Just a minute baby!” you called as you scrambled to get away from Eddie, turning to look down at the floor, Eddie's Metallica t-shirt that lay inside his sweatshirt was the closest, you hastily pulled it to you, throwing it over your head as you sat up against the headboard. “Yeah come in!” you called to the door as you felt Eddie's hand fall limp on your thigh.

Ophelia and Roxette shuffled through the door, Ophelia going straight for her clothes and Roxette climbed onto the bed, laying her head in your lap and onto Eddie's hand. “Dad moooove” she shoved at his hand as he grunted in his sleep, flicking his hand in an attempt to move her head away “Daaad” she whined as she pushed at his hand, his hand slid down to hold your knee instead.

“I heard you had a little accident, you ok baby?” you stroked her hair as she settled back in your lap “Mm peed myself” she pouted “But no one saw so I think its ok” she told you. “And your dad cleaned you up you ungrateful” Eddie mumbled the rest of his sentence into the pillow as he rolled onto his stomach. “Oh, yeah dad helped”

Soon enough everyone was dressed and downstairs, “So!” Dustin clapped his hands together, gaining the attention of the room “Today is waterpark day!” he referred to the plan he had already set in place. Kids excitedly shovelling food into their mouths after the walkthrough of the day before running to their parents rooms to get dressed and ready.

Roxy was very excited about her new swimsuit, a blue flowery two piece with a blouse resembling top, but huffed when Eddie told her to come over so he could put sunscreen on her before they went out because she’d want to jump in the water as soon as they got to the waterpark.

Bags were packed, cars were started and everyone changed as 10 cars and two minivans rolled out onto the road. Setting up camp in a cluster of beach chairs under parasols plans were made. All the kids were very excited, making it quite difficult to get them all gathered and keep them from running off. “Mom I don’t wanna wear the floaters!” Roxette whined as you blew the arm puffs up for her. “Baby you have to” popping the cap closed you started with the other “But Ophelia doesn’t have hers!” She stomped on the ground “Yeah but Ophelia's older she knows how to swim” you explained as you coaxed her over to stand between you knees “I can swim too! No! I don’t wanna!” She ripped her arm away from you as you held it “Baby look a bunch of the other ones are wearing them” you pointed over at the other parents putting arm puffs on their own kids, Eddie stood nearby lathering sunscreen on your eldest. “Fine!” She whined as she let you pull one up her forearm “Be good and you’ll get an ice cream later” you grinned as her face broke out into a toothy smile “Ok!” She happily accepted her fate and let you put the other arm puff on her.

Argyle and Eden excitedly signed up for chaperoning the kids as well as Robin and a cautious Vickie, Lukas, Mike, Dustin and Suzie joining in as they set off with the kids for a waterslide, Steve and Eddie telling them they would catch up with them.

You, Nancy, Simone, Tracy, her daughter Ariana, El, Max and Charlotte all huddled together on the beach chairs, lounging as you looked over the waterpark. Will and Winter walked off to get some fancy waterpark drinks that caught their eye as Eddie, Steve, Luke, Gareth and Jeff looked over the map of the waterpark.

“Oh what a beautiful day!” Nancy smiled brightly as she sat down with baby Dustin in her lap, Simone undid her beach wrap and sat down in a cheeky black bathing suit with straps lining up to her hips, halter top neckline with an open back. “Oh it is hot!” she commented as a few of the other girls cheered at her. “We really doing bathing suits?” Charlotte asked cautiously “Oh come on girls we don't know these people who cares?” Simone smiled brightly as she took her sunglasses off and dropped them onto her wrap on the ground, “Yeah you're right who cares? I've been working on this six pack all spring!” Charlotte pulled her cover up off, thrusting her pregnant belly for show under her punch pink pregnancy dress bathing suit “Yeah baby got front!” she laughed as the girls cheered her on, “Come on Y/N its your turn to strip!” she grinned as she sat back down “Oh no I don't know” you shyed away.

The swimsuit you were wearing today was not one you were extremely comfortable in, it had been a gift from your friend and you brought it with you just in case, but your bikini had been haphazardly shoved into a ball in your room out of sight and out of mind and therefore not washed deeming it unwearable as it began to smell. This one was a blood red one piece instead, the hem was high on your hips and practically a thong at the back, low cut in the back and round cups pushing your tits together above an upside down triangle showcasing some skin and the undersides of your boobs. “Oh come on! Like Simone said no one cares!” Nancy grinned as she clapped, the others joining in and clapping along. “Oh ok!” they cheered as you stood up and made a show of dropping your towel and filing it onto your chair, even going as far as a little spin.

Not far away Gareth whistled, causing the group of guys bent over the map to look up, Eddie with his back to you asked “What?” following Gareth's eyes, turning around to see you throwing your towel away and spinning around. He swallowed. Have I seen that before? I don't think so, is it new? his eyes scanned your body, cheeky thong tucked between your ass cheeks, tits pushed together round. “You sure you still set on this marriage thing? Cuz if not I’ll happily take her off your hands. Get her on her knees for me.” Eddie turned back around to see Gareth grinning.

“Alright that's enough” Eddie lunged “No!” Gareth screeched as he ducked and took off towards you all, scuttling between plastic lounge chairs to stand behind yours which you now occupied. Eddie stopped by your feet as Gareth hopped from side to side “What’s going on?” you asked confused, other girls chiming in as Eddie matched Gareth's movements “If you say one more word I will personally see to it that you're six feet under by the end of the day” Eddie gritted through his teeth. “Eddie!” you shouted, shocked at his words.

Gareth suddenly became bold “Nah you're too much of a softy” he grinned as he stilled and leaned over the back of your chair, making a show of peeping down you to look at your tits “HEY! Stop looking at my wife!” he shouted, making you turn in confusion to look up at Gareth who quickly disappeared out of view as he ran again. Eddie followed him shouting “You wanna see how much of a softy I am?!” and just like that both of them were out of sight.

You turned back to the rest “What was that?” they all shrugged telling you how they had no clue, you sighed and stood up walking over to Steve. “Can you tell me what's going on?” you crossed your arms, sweet Steve looking you directly into the eye as he awkwardly murmured “Uh Gareth said some things that upset Eddie so” he shrugged “What did he say?” you frowned “Uh you don't wanna know” Steve brought a hand up to rub at his stubble. Rolling your eyes you walked off in search of Eddie, who was now running through a children's pool.

“Eddie!” you shouted sternly causing him to stop in his tracks and turn to you “Come here” you stated frustrated. Eddie turned to Gareth who also stood frozen, back to you, to Gareth and finally back to you. He sighed and trudged towards you.

“What the hell is going on?” you crossed your arms again, watching as Gareth faking nonchalance walked off behind him. “Gareth uh was just annoying me” he brought a hand up to scratch at the back of his neck “So you chase him?” you inquired “Well yeah” Eddie turned to give Gareth an angry glare as he neared the group again. He set his gaze back onto you, your facial expression telling him that that wasn't an answer and urging him to explain “Ugh, he, he just kept saying some things, and I told him to stop and he still didn't” he set his hands onto your hips as he looked down on you.

“What stuff?” you asked exasperated, Eddie opened his mouth “And don’t tell me I don’t want to know” you held a finger up to him, his mouth closed again, you could see his brain working to think of something to say “Just, well some things about your body” your face softened into scared hurt, Eddie understood instantly that you though Gareth had been making fun of you, your size, but he didnt know how to explain “Fuck sake, he kept saying how he was gonna” he closed his eyes annoyed “Fuck you and shit” he breathed.

The snort that left your throat caused him to open them again “Baby, just because he says that doesn't mean it's gonna happen” you placed a soft hand on his cheek. Immediately his mind brought up Greg, stupid fucking Greg who had him doubting himself. -doesn’t mean it's gonna happen, doesn’t mean it's gonna happen, doesn’t mean it's gonna happen. He softened against your touch, nothing was going to happen, not with Greg, not with Gareth, not with anybody. “I know” he sighed, more of an admittance to himself “I just don't like him talking to you about that” he continued as he stepped closer to you, leaning further into your touch “Yeah well he's a pig, but it's just harmless stupid jokes baby” you leant up on your toes to give him a kiss.

“I’m only for you remember” you held your hand up to him, wiggling your fingers up to show off your engagement ring and wedding band.

Eddie hummed, why was he ever worried? You were his, you were married to him, had his babies, you’d been with him since you were 16 and him 17 for god's sake. Maybe it was the time spent together that had him worrying you had gotten bored of him, but no, it was the time together that only made the two of you stronger. You’d always been attached at the hip, stuck to each other like glue since his first senior year. Yeah you had your rough patches but you always found your way back to each other in the end.

Taking your hand and placing a kiss to the back of it before kissing your lips. “Now come on, you can buy me a gelato cuz it's too damn hot out here” you grinned as you took his hand. “Mm know something that's hotter” he snapped the elastic at your hip against your skin as he captured your lips in a kiss again.

Rejoining the group you stood with Eddie behind you, whose hands wrapped around your waist as his chin dropped to your shoulder. “Gareth, you're disgusting” you sneered “Anybody want ice cream?” you grinned to the rest, Eddie snorted behind you as the rest laughed. Soon enough you were back in your lounge chair leaning onto Eddie's chest as you sat between his thighs, happily eating your gelato while talking to Tracy, Ariana and Max.

You had so much fun going on slides with Eddie and the kids, throwing Roxette around in the water, your two girls fighting to get the other off each parents shoulders, slurping on ice cream, chatting with everyone and it wasn't as hard as you'd all though getting each kid into their respective car and away from the fun, all exhausted from the day and ready to go home. Dinner had been munching on whatever snacks there were around the house as kids were put to bed by nightfall.

“Damn forgot to brush my teeth” Eddie sighed as he walked into the bedroom with a towel low on his hips, tattoos on display under the same gold light Eddie had seen you in. “Ok well I’m dying for a shower so you're gonna have to do that while I’m in there” you told him as you brushed past him in a throw over beach dress, bathing suit still on. You didn't see Eddie grin behind your back as you clutched your toiletry bag on your way down the hall, quickly snapping up his things before following you.

“Oh I don't mind” he breathed as he caught up to you, you turned, rolling your eyes at him playfully as you pushed open the door, locking it after letting Eddie through, “Think I can join you?” he grinned down at you as the hand not clutching his toothbrush and toothpaste came to rest on your hip “Pretty sure you just showered baby” you smiled as you pulled away from him, pulling your dress over your head as Eddie flung his things into the sink. “Mm can’t be too clean sweetheart” he smirked as he crowded you from behind. “I’ll let you join me if you just think about this first” you turned around “You really wanna have sex for the first time in a shower in a home that's not even ours?” you began pulling the straps of your bathing suit down.

Eddie looked off into the distance thinking it over “No you're right” he sighed “Wait wait wait, you're saying we're gonna have sex?” His eyes found you eagerly as you stripped of your bathing suit and stepped into the shower, looking back with a cheeky smirk. Eddie groaned and fell back against the sink as you turned the water off. Fuck… YES! It was happening! It was really fucking happening!

You pulled the shower curtain closed, putting you out of view as Eddie turned and began brushing his teeth. He sat down on the toilet lid waiting for you to finish and it felt like the time droned on forever, even though it was just 10 minutes. His head perked up excitedly as you stepped out, reaching for your folded towel on the counter and wrapping yourself up in it. “Ugh fuck you’re so sexy” Eddie breathed against your ear as he wrapped around you from behind, you giggled as you picked up your stuff and unlocked the door. Walking slowly down the hall Eddie pressed his painfully hard cock against you, the evidence of the daydreaming he had been doing while you were in the shower.

“Can't wait to get my hands on you” he whispered as you made your way down the hall. Eddie wasted absolutely no time as you got to your room, pulling the towel off you and letting it drop to the floor. Eyes roaming the various ink splatters littered over your body, shining oh so beautifully in the dim light of the room, soaking in every inch of your undeniably perfect body. “Funny I’m usually the loud one but I have a sneaking suspicion you might beat me to it this time” you grinned as you let his towel fall to the floor. “Oh do you now?” his hands went down to grab a handful of your ass “Mhm you're gonna have to be quiet” you whispered as he captured your lips in a kiss.

Blindly he led you backwards till the backs of your knees hit the mattress, falling onto it, instinctively spreading your legs to make room for Eddie. “Fuck” he made an audible groan as his hard cock came in contact with you slick wet folds, pressing into you. “Ugh fuck I’m not gonna last long baby” he breathed as he broke apart from you “Would be surprised if you did” you panted as Eddies lips began kissing down your jaw and throat, lingering on occasion to suck harsh bruises into your skin, more than on occasion, he seemed to be doing it with every kiss.

You let out a breathless moan as his lips wrapped around your pebbled nipple, sucking lightly as his hand came up to give similar attention to the other. Two metal balls cold on his muscle as he licked at your pierced nips. He didn’t hover there long though, he continued his descent kissing down your body till he slid to his knees on the floor, hands wrapping strong around your hips to pull you to the edge as he kissed your things.

“Ughhhh fuck I’ve missed this” he groaned as he spread your folds “Missed sex or missed staring at my pussy?” You grinned down at him as you sat up on your elbows, he looked up at you mischievously “Both” and without warning he dove in, licking a broad strip from your hole up to your clit. Your head fell back as a moan ripped through you, you know Eddie had taken to pleasuring himself but above not doing anything with Eddie you weren’t doing anything alone, the feeling of Eddie's warm tongue rolling through you a second time was almost overwhelming.

A third long lick before he focused on your clit, shorter even licks right in the nub had you gripping the sheets. His lips wrapped around you, sucking hard as his tongue flicked up and down, your hand came to snake between his damp curls and tug harshly causing Eddie to groan as he went faster.

“Shit baby, we- we gotta be quiet” you forced out a strained whisper between pants as the vice grip on Eddie's roots tightened, all Eddie did was hum in response as one of the hands snaked around the backs of your thighs holding you to him lifted. The hand that had previously been gripping onto the bed sheets for purchase whipped away to hold a tight fist against your lips, biting down hard on your knuckles as you felt a long thick finger slip easily into you.

“Mm fuck” you whined against it as he pushed a second in, pumping in and out furiously as his tongue flicked at an angry pace. Just as you were about to open your mouth to say something a harsh knock sounded at the door. Startling both you and Eddie as he pulled his mouth off you, head dropping down to rest his head on your mound “You gotta be fucking kidding me” he gritted through his teeth.

You took a deep sigh as you slackened your grip on his hair, other hand coming down to the sheets to half push yourself up. “Hang on baby, mommy’ll be right there” you called strained to the door as Eddie knocked his head on your mound, the hair tickling his forehead, fingers still deep inside you. “Uh it’s just me, Steve” a deep voice sounded from the other side.

“Oh” you fell back down on the bed, “Uh yeah?” you managed to even out your voice as you spoke, “No no don’t come in!” You shouted as you saw the doorknob turn, hand held out in the direction of the door as if to stop him. You sighed as it flung back into place “Uh I was just looking for Eddie” he tried keeping his voice down as he called through the door “What do you want?” Eddie hollered as he raised his head, irritation dripping from his voice “I was just gonna talk to you about uh my car, we talked about it earlier”

“Yeah yeah I’ll take a look at it tomorrow” he set his chin pushing down onto the sparse hair on your mound again as he looked over to the door Aalright great I was just-“ “Steve I’ll be knuckle deep in your car tomorrow right know I’m knuckle deep in something else” he called, the offended gasp you let out as you scolded him “Edward!” with a light slap to the back of his head only had him grinning up at you smug. “Haha alright dude see ya tomorrow” Steve laughed on the other side as he heard the smack “Ok BYE Steve!” Eddie almost shouted.

You both listened intently as you heard heavy footsteps lead away from the door “Eddie rea- ooooh shit” you broke off as Eddie set his lips back onto you, pumping his fingers in and out of you equally as fast if not faster than he had before, resuming his tackle on your clit as if nothing had happened.

With each pump he worked faster and faster until his hand was working at an angry pace to get you to the edge, your hand pulled harder at his hair as you writhed beneath him turning to sink your teeth into the comforter. You whined as you felt that familiar feeling boil in your core, only egging Eddie on as he sucked harder.

“Fuck I’m-I’m c-close” you whined as your hips inched away from him, Eddies fingers sinking into your skin in a bruising grip and forcing you back to him “Shit shit shit!” was all the warning as a spray of warm liquid hit him in the face, causing him to reel back. Watching in awe as you drenched his neck, chest and hand into a furious squirt.

Within seconds it slowed to a stop as well as Eddie's fingers as he watched you panting heavily in front of him. Eyes bulging he watched as the hand that had previously ripped away from his hair to grip the sheets and fall slack next to you as you sunk into the mattress panting heavily. “Holy fuck” he breathed as he himself panted, getting to his feet and looming over you, hand falling out to keep him raised off you as his other held your shoulder gently, smoothing over your skin as he went to cup your cheek, capturing your lips in a desperate kiss, pausing your panting to kiss him back.

The skin previously dried from his shower now soaking pressing against you as he fell onto you, both hands coming up to hold you in place as he pulled you to him, head lifting from the bed to meet him. The long kiss broke apart and you fell back onto the bed, breathing slowing as you gathered yourself.

“Scootch up baby” Eddie whispered as he pushed himself off you “Hm?” You hummed as you opened your eyes, hands pushing into the patterned throw as you pushed yourself off the foot of the bed and up to land against the pillows. Eddie crawled up the bed, hand pushing softly to part your knees and make room for him.

Finally your daze melted away as you looked up to find Eddie on his calves, hand wrapped around his throbbing cock as he stared down at you in awe, slowly pumping himself, each stroke revealing his angry red tip dribbling a hefty amount of precum.

You chuckled breathlessly “Don’t want me to return the favour?” Eddie shook his head furiously as he toppled over to rest on top of you “Uh uh” he breathed and without warning lined himself up with you thrusting himself into the hilt. He let out a loud groan while you gasped in surprise. “Aaahahahuuuuh fuck” he complained breathlessly as the hand on his cock slithered up to grab at your hip.

“Shiiit feel so good baby” his breath fanned against your ear as he buried his face in your shoulder, setting a slow pace of his hips, lips attaching back to your neck. The low whine of your throat only made Eddie speed his hips up “Baby, s-s’too big” Eddie laughed as you whined “Mm been a while?” he pulls his face out of the crook of your neck to grin down at you. As you roll your eyes Eddie plants both of his hands just below your armpits, leaning down to kiss you as he places one hard thrust into your hips, the head of his cock hitting that spot inside you he liked to call the danger zone for some stupid reason, actually the reason being that it either caused you incredibly pleasure, or incredible pain depending on what position you were in. This particular position was the former, and it showed as you moaned loudly against him.

Braking off the kiss he moved a hand to plaster over your mouth as he thrusted another hard thrust, somehow managing to hit even deeper inside you, his head nuzzling back into the crook of your neck to leave bruises all along the expanse of your throat. Muffling the second loud moan as your eyes rolled to the back of your skull, mouth dropping in pure pleasure. Eddie hummed in agreement as he thrusted again “Mhm yeah thats the spot, fuck” he was now setting a slow pace of hard thrusts, each time inching deeper inside you as your hands pulled angrily at the roots of his locks.

Your left hand moved from the grip near his neck to circle around his arm, fingers pressing harshly into the skin of his shoulder, nails digging in to leave small crescent moons into the inked slightly tanned skin. The same tattoo which had Eddie moaning in something other than pleasure as he first lay down on his back after a five hour appointment, complaining that he had to lay on his stomach till it healed.

Now as you touched the ink Eddie only groaned as your nails scratched at his shoulder blades, hard thrust transitioning to quick smacks of his hips against yours, skin slapping against skin. That would have been the only sound apart from moans that would have been heard if it weren't for “Eddie the bed” you panted as the old wood and springs began squeaking with each of Eddie's movements. “You know how many beds I had to listen to rattling last night?” he pulled away from his attack on your reddening neck to stare down at you, panting between each word “Yeah it's our turn” he dove back in to suck hard at your collarbone.

His hips were now at a furious pace, how he hadn't cum already he had absolutely no clue but somehow he had managed to hold off. That was until he felt your walls squeeze tightly around him, the burning in his belly he’d been ignoring became reality all too quickly. Hips working faster as he pulled off your collar to look back at you, hand still collapsed over your mouth, neck craned back into the pillow to match your eyes practically looking at the back wall. “Fuck ba- shit” he broke off in a groan as you squeezed harder around him “S-Sweetheart, n-not gonna last loOoong!” he tried to whisper but failed miserably as your ankles locked behind him pressing him further into you.

Bed squeaking, skin slapping, throats groaning and moaning in blinding pleasure echoed all around the room as Eddie's movement stopped, bottoming out inside you in a loud groan as hot spurts of cum painted your walls.

For minutes both of you just lay panting, a jumble of limbs as both of you tried to catch your breath. It was nice, lying tangled up with Eddie, naked and sweaty, totally counteracting your shower but it was nice, until it got too hot. You pushed Eddie off you, a reluctant grunt sounding from the back of his throat as he pulled out “Where you going?” he whispered as he felt a dip in the bed next to him while he lay eyes closed on his back. “Gonna open a window it's boiling in here” you stepped cautiously over the floorboards as you opened the old window, sighing as cool night air hit your skin. You looked back to see Eddie fucked out and spent with his eyes still closed on the bed and awkwardly picked up one of the towels discarded on the floor and whipped yourself off.

Eddie peeked his eyes open as he saw you walk over to the duffle bags, dropping both towels on the bench “You-you getting dressed?” there was a hint of nervousness to his voice as he sat up, as if the prospect of you putting clothes on was like you closing yourself off again. “Relax I’m just putting on some underwear” you chuckled as you fished out a pair of forest green brazilians and pulled them over your legs.

Eddie fell back against the bed again, laughing as he felt a pair of clean boxers hit his face. Pulling them on he hopped back onto the bed with a wide grin, beaming at you like a child receiving a bag of candy or their favourite toy. “What's got you so happy?” you chuckle as you nestle up to him, pushing his hands away as he was about to wrap them around you, turning to lay on your side and rest your head on his chest instead of his face buried in your shoulder.

“Oh you know my stock shares went up” his joke earned a laugh as he held your waist and trailed his fingers up and down your arm. The giggle you let out had his smile cracking wider and his arms holding you to him tighter. “Yup I stiiill got it” he smirked as you slapped his chest lightly.

For once it seemed neither of you were woken by any distractions, Eddie roused slowly face mushed against your hair as he pulled back to see that during the night the both of you must have moved and he was now back to spooning you just like every other night. As the numb feeling of sleep tingled away he squeezed his fingers to find his hand cupping your breast. He chuckled as he heard the low whine from your throat, the sound jogging his memory.

Oh fuck, hed gotten to touch you, fuck you, even made you squirt! That wasn't even something normal when you were having sex on a regular basis. Memories of being inside you, a tangle of legs, you pulling at his hair, sucking at your neck, all swam to the forefront of his mind. Leaning over he found himself stunned by the amount of deep purple and brown hickies that littered your skin, he couldn't even count them on his fingers Jesus Christ. Dark marks going all the way from just below your jaw all the way down to an inch or so away from your nipples, when did he even have time to do all that?

He was torn from his thoughts as you stirred, turning in his grasp to lay on your back, eyes slowly opening to see Eddie hovering above you, dopey grin painting his face. Your hands went up to the hem of the comforter when you frowned, lifting it up you peeked at what was hidden, frown dissipating to realisation as you whispered an “Oh right” which had Eddie snorting and dropping his forehead on to yours.

“Mm morning handsome” you hummed as his lips pulled away from a deep passionate kiss “Morning beautiful” he croaked, head pulling back in shock “Beautiful” he croaked again, voice strained, he cleared his throat “Beautiful, there we go” he laughed as you giggled, those sweet noises once again having his heart doing flips in his chest.

“So beach day again or you wanna do something else? Dustin mentioned a hike” Eddie rolled off you to lie on his back as you propped yourself up on an elbow next to you “Hmm well I am torn, can either watch you hopp around in that sad little excuse for a bathing suit you wore yesterday or stare at you ass in those bike shorts, it really is a tough decision” he grinned down at you, snorting you told him “Well my regular bikini is all dry now so don't worry you don't have to watch me hopp around in that other one” Eddie shrugged “Probably for the best, not easy hiding a boner in swim trunks, trust me” he widened his eyes.

Ophelia and Roxette strolled in not much later to find Eddie getting dressed as you had wandered off to the bathroom.

“Why are you wearing a hoodie? It's like 90° outside” Lucas threw his hands out as he plopped down next to you on the couch, everyone eating an assortment of fruit, cereal and toast. Eddie snorted from the other side of the table which had both of you turning towards him, Lucas with a confused frown and you with a warning glare “I’m just cold” you explained weakly “How on earth are you cold?” Mike sat down on the arm of the chair El was occupying. “Uh I just am?” “Oh come on, just take it off” Mike shrugged.

“I-I’d rather not” you tried taking a bite of your toast to signal the end of the conversation, “Yeah she's gotta hide those massive hickies” Gareth sauntered over to hang of the back of Eddie's armchair taking an animalistic bit of a baconstrip “Not doing a good job by the way” you pulled the hood up further around your neck as the people around the living room area all turned to you. “Whats a hickey?” Jonathan's son Charlie piped up “Oh it's like a-” “Gareth” you turned to him to glare at him too who held his hands up in defeat “It's just a bruise sweetie, like when you fall and hurt yourself” Charlotte waddled over to pat her son on the head, everyone on the couch scooching up to make room for the pregnant lady.

“Eh no one cares babes just take your hoodie off, you must be boiling” Charlotte smiled happily as she waved you off next to you, sighing you set your plate down and pulled the hoodie over your head, “Jesus christ!” the room erupted in laughter as near 20 hickeys in a steady flow down to the hem of your tanktop was revealed. You forced a straight tight lipped smile and gestured your hands out. Gareth slapped Eddie on his shoulder as he laughed “Didn’t know you had it in ya big guy” chuckling he stood up straight behind him “Mm thanks” Eddie grumbled as he finished the rest of his cereal.

“Seriously what did you guys do yesterday?” Mike laughed, “Didn't you hear them?” Gareth imitated a high pitched version of a bed squeaking as you curled in on yourself. Roxette hurried over and climbed into you lap as she laughed “What is uncle Gareth doing?” the supposed uncle in question was in the midst of thrusting his hips back and forth, thankfully not making any lude imitations of moans “He's just being silly” you explained as you wrapped your arms around her. “Oh god” you sighed amused as Charlie and Lucas's son Billy copied Gareth's movements “Would you please refrain from teaching my kid that stuff? He’s four” Charlotte complained as she grabbed her son by the arm and yanked him to her “Yeah dude stop, no one wants to see that shit” Lucas chimed in.

Soon enough almost everyone was outside gathered by the beach, save from Charlotte who went inside to rest, Jonathan following her and trusting Dustin to keep an eye on his kids. Blankets and towels were spread out in the sand and grass as the same group from the first day lounged on the chairs now back in their place from bonfire night. Kids splashed in the water as well as adults, some lying tanning in the sun or forcing sunscreen onto stroppy children.

Roxette and Ophelia ran up jumping excitedly as you pulled your shorts down to tan, begging you to come jump off the jetty with them. After some faux complaining and getting a rise out of Roxy you agreed, laughing as they ran off in front of you. Walking past Eddie caught his attention immediately, the rim of the beer bottle he was holding falling away from his lips as it seemed that the world stopped around him and watching you move in slow motion. Teeth showing in a happy laugh, fingers wrapped around the hem on each side of your bikini bottoms, securing them to your hips, thick thighs rubbing against each other with each step, tits in a soft bounce from your movements. Faded ink tattoos mixed with fresher ones glittering in the sunlight as it sat high up in the sky. The quick one second of a flash of a smile towards him was the equivalent of an hour as you turned and continued walking.

The laughter and chatter died around him as if he was submerged under water simply listening to the sounds of the ocean. In the back of his mind he thought he may have cooled down with his rapid heart beat and tensing in his thighs whenever he was around you in anything close to the line of modesty after you’d finally had sex, but no. If anything his heart was beating even faster than it had before in his life, not even the muffling of his chest could hide the beats from sounding out around him, much less hide the feeling of his swim shorts tightening around him.

Sitting up straight from his wide legged slackened position he stared in awe at the plush thickness of your thighs, to your concealed mound up to the soft rolls of your tummy, slight jiggle of the fat around your arms and bounce of your tits, and Oh. My. God. As he zoned in on the particular area which consumed his mind most of the time he saw those faint outlines of hearts, pressing against the lavender fabric, had it not been for the sun beating down on you he most definitely would have seen the shape of your hardened nipples framed so perfectly by those little diamond encrusted silver hearts.

Since this morning you had switched your nipple piercings, at some point, without his knowledge, and he knew you knew those little hearts were his absolute favourite of all the body modifications you had. She’s put those on for me. The hearts disappeared out of his view as you veered off to the small wooden dock, the globes of your ass swaying from side to side with every step you took, following your girls down as they desperately jumped up and down in waiting for you.

Just as quick as the moment came, it was gone, as he watched you disappear under the surface of the water, cannonballing in with a large splash, Roxette eagerly on your tail, copying you and cannonballing in only a few inches away from your face. You laughed as you splashed her back, clapping as Ophelia too resurfaced.

“Yo you listening to me?” Gareth slapped Eddie's arm in an attempt to regain his attention, not having noticed you walking by, he turned away from the small dots of your heads floating in the distance. “Hm? Oh right Zander yeah what about him?” Gareth repeated his comment about how their boss at the auto shop had slipped up with a recent purchase that was vital in the repair of a snazzy Rolls Royce he had been working on.

Eddie's attention drifted way off from the conversation again as he saw you swim up to the ladder and pull yourself up. Water dripping off your body as you shoved your hair out of your face. Time slowed again as you dipped your fingers into the hem of your bottoms, pulling at the fabric to lay back properly over your ass from the water forcing them up to nestle between your cheeks as you jumped into the lake. The action wasn’t graceful, in fact it was far from it, but from the edge of the beach where Eddie sat currently having an out of world experience it was the sexiest, hottest thing he had ever witnessed you doing. Even though he couldn't see it he just knew the skin of your ass would jiggle as the elastic snapped back against it.

“Seriously dude!” This time Gareth shoved him, almost spilling the beer in the bottle over his lap, most definitely making the little situation with the raging boner straining against the mesh a lot worse had it gone further than sloshing around the neck.

Somehow he managed to regain focus and partake in a conversation which mostly consisted of slagging his boss off, coupled with a few swares which had several moms turning their heads in a glare. And somehow he managed to calm down and let his mind focus on other things as his cock slowly softened beneath the black and blue fabric.

“So Edward Munson” Steve grinned as he walked over the sand and slapped his friend on the shoulder “Don't let Nancy hear your wife calling you that, she'll start walking around calling me Stephen” he grimaced as Eddie turned from Gareth chuckling at his comment. “Seems something you did was successful” he walked over and sank down into the chair Gareth previously occupied, walking off to answer Jeff calling him over.

“Seems so” Eddie raised his bottle in a mock cheer as Steve uncapped his own “Seriously dude you gotta tell me how the fuck you manage to hold out that long” he leaned in, deepening his voice so no one could overhear. “What hold out for six months? a hellofalot of polaroids and dirty magazines and taking alleged showers” Eddie’s smirk matched Steves as he chuckled, Steve let out a loud obnoxious snort “No, bro, you're like 40 years old-” “41” Eddie grimaced as he cut him off “Right well 41, I’ve never in my life heard a bed make so much noise, you were going at it for like 30 minutes with constant eek eek eek” it was Eddies turn to snort now as Steve copied Gareth's form of imitating the bed squeaking.

“Do 50 hour weeks at an auto repair shop and maybe you'll catch up to me” Steve laughed as he spread his legs and sunk further into the wood. Ophelia ran up dripping cold water all over him as she hung off the armrest of his chair “What's up rugrat?” Eddie ruffled her already tousled and drenched hair “Dad wanna come play princess with me, Mercy, Louise and Emma? Roxette doesn't want to, says it's for girls. Even though she is one which I don't understand” Ophelia mumbled the last sentence as a low rumble left Eddies chest in the form of a deep chuckle “Not right now sweetheart, daddys talking to Steve right now but maybe later” he offered an apologetic smile towards his daughter. Even though he loved her, he wasn't quite fond of having her smear her moms makeup on his face as he wore a blanket for a dress, he was banished from wearing your dresses since he almost flashed Roxette while jumping on the couch.

“Okeeey” Ophelia grumbled and ran off to join Steve and Jonathans daughters who were already pulling at Charlottes arms. His gaze turned from his eldest to find you stepping off the jetty and making your way through the sand towards him. It was almost uncharacteristic how quickly he switched from trying not to upset his daughter to hungrily watch you in motion. Sure he drifted off and lost focus sometimes, ok a lot, but this wasn't something normal for him, he didn't even hear as Steve barked out a laugh beside him at the change in demeanour, before he even got a chance to let his eyes drift up and down your body you were stood in front of him, lips moving as you talked but not a single word registering to him.

He straightened his back and fought with himself as he desperately tried not to let his eyes roam your body and instead look into your eyes giving you his full attention “Huh sorry what?” Steve barked another laugh beside him, you giggled “I just said hi” you reached over behind him to grab your towel on the back of his chair, “Oh hi” Eddie breathed as your tits hovered two inches away from his nose, suddenly all the air had left the sphere around earth and he had to sputter to find his breath.

A pressing matter swam to the front of his mind and ripped him out of his trance “Where's Rocky?” he whipped his head around to look behind you and scan the beach “She’s inside, Arianas showing her the wonders of The Notorious B.I.G” you ran the towel over your head, squeezing the water out of your hair “Great first Tupac now B.I.G, you know I really had hope for her, she was listening to Mötley Crue and everything” the brown bottle raised to his lips as he took a sip of the now luke warm beer, he scrunched his face up in disgust and propped the drink into the sand.

“Hah relax babe, she still obsessed with Mötley Crue, not that I’m very happy about it, the day she starts fangirling over them is the day I divorce you” Eddie scrunched his face up again, soft lines forming on his nose as his brows furrowed “Im kidding!” you held your hands up. With your towel in your hand and arms out by your sides Eddie was fighting for dear life to keep eye contact with you, if only he had his sunglasses on.

“Oh yo the car” Steve cut into the admittedly mundane but to Eddie, it was a heart squeezing conversation with his wife “Oh right!” Eddie made to stand up as you moved out of the way, eagerly you took his place as the seat next to you vacated with Steve standing to join him.

It was your turn to oggle now.

For the first time since December, watching Eddie pull at the neck of his threadbare t-shirt was exhilarating. Unbeknownst to you you were falling into the exact same trance Eddie had been, where the world fell silent and time stopped. Your eyes widened as you saw the sun bleached fabric float over his skin, inch by inch revealing that faint happy trail and that toned v-line pointed down like an arrow towards the price you were now dying to win over. Toned abs revealed themselves slowly next to a set of sleek inked hips, twigs and vines littered with roses winding down the v-line, roses matching the ones that sat under your right breast, peeking out from under your bra. A demon head and a spider showed on his left peck, hovering above a large majestic dragon protecting its four ribbed eggs, each symbolising a different person he admired and loved deeply, a constant reminder that he never wanted to lose them. Ophelia, Roxette, Wayne and you.

Tattoo sleeves windled from his shoulders down to his wrists, puppet masters, bats, more dragons, daggers, dice and so much more all woven perfectly together resting under the surface of the soon to be golden brown skin. Formerly pale now tanning shining under the brightness of the sky, reflection of the water sparkling at his sides.

It was your turn to not register a word as Eddie spoke “We’re just gonna go have a look at Steve’s car, I’ll be back in a bit” you felt your neck twist as you followed the collections of tattoos on chiselled muscles past you where a hand dropped his shirt onto the arm of the chair and back behind you, leaning in your chair and twisting uncomfortably to follow the wide spread wings connecting to a female form, organs on show and hands displayed to its side, a tribute to his musical hero and favourite album In Utero by Nirvana.

You felt like a teenager caught staring at her crush as you whipped around to look back at the beach when both Steve and Eddie turned to look back at you.

“Dude she was totally checking you out?” Steve slapped him on his chest as they tread through the grass “What? Who?” Eddie turned to see you quickly pull back in your chair “Who do you think idiot?”.

Part 2!

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being-addie · 2 years ago

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Rest Days

It's currently peak summer where I live, and it is SWELTERING. While I'm planning to be as productive as possible (I'm not kidding my sketchbook is with me 24/7 at this point), thanks to the heat, I'm finding it really hard to stay focused sometimes. So when I'm feeling particularly lazy, or just distracted I take a rest day. I feel like I can afford this right now more often because it's the holidays, but when my classes restart in June I won't be able to even sit down.

ANYWAYS. Here's what I'm currently doing during an easy rest day. Maybe you can take some inspiration <3

My rest days:

Sleep in: I sleep until it's nearly 7:30 - 8:00 am. It's late for me because usually, I wake up at 6:00 am

Move around: If it's cloudy, I'll go for a walk, otherwise, I'll cycle to the gym.

Breakfast: I usually have this thing, where I saute some veggies, scramble eggs, and cook savoury oatmeal, then mix it all together. It's healthy and filling and it's amazing with barbeque sauce. If I'm craving something sweet, I make banana-oat pancakes (which taste and look so much better than regular pancakes I swear)

Sit in the sun: It's morning, and the sun isn't harsh, so I sit in the balcony with my cold coffee and chat with my mom as I soak up that Vitamin D

Watch a little TV: I'll watch like 2 episodes of the show I'm invested in (I'm watching Big Bang Theory)

Get ready: Take my sweet time bathing, doing my hair and getting dressed.

Sketch: So this is both productive and relaxing for me, so I'll pull up Pinterest and do some practice or I'll go to a cafe and do a live study.

Do a little crafting: Ok so this is my therapy. I'm not joking. I put on some Lana Del Rey, and make a mess of my desk. I love making little handmade gifts for family (I just made this insane exploding box thing for Mother's Day lol) or making paper crafts. I'm learning how to crochet as well. Highly recommend it. Put in your earphones, get your scissors out and start making something. Doesn't have to be pretty, just keep going.

Watch the sunset: My gallery is so full of pictures, I don't have any room for anything at this point. 85% is just sunset pictures.

Evening: I just eat dinner with my sister and grandpa, and then we like to sing and dance as I load the dishwasher and she cleans the table.

Read: After chores are done, I read on my tablet for a while.

Sleep: Bedtime skincare and lights off at 10:30.

I've actually done this in way more detail than I thought haha, but this is basically a way more relaxed version of my daily routine, just no studying?? But yeah here it is.

Understand that rest days are required. You do not have to constantly work. Humans are meant to socialise and have fun, as well as work. We aren't worker ants or bees. Relax, and remember to breathe. Everything will be ok. xoxo.

#self care #self improvement #self love #level up #level up journey #self love journey #glow up #college #tips and tricks #it girl #that girl #perfect #life #routine #lazy day #rest days

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goaliekisses · 2 years ago

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woof juicy news day for us pens fans. not only do we have sidney crosby’s Seduction of kyle dubas, now we have this article on Why Hextall Sucks (and how he pissed off even sidney crosby) + some angsty Geno details that i will only relish now that he’s still with us:

Early last summer, at his spacious home in Montreal, Kris Letang finally saw the document that secured his future in Pittsburgh.

No stranger to the multi-page, standard player contract, this one was particularly special. It was his fourth, and probably his last. It contained specific elements Letang and his agent required. One line read “six years.” Another read “$36.6 million.” The line that Letang really loved?: “full no-movement clause.”

Together, those words recommitted Letang and the Penguins, the only NHL franchise he had ever known. At 35, he would finish his career in Pittsburgh.

As word spread last July 7, Letang’s phone blew up. The flood of well-wishers included teammates past and present, various Penguins personnel he’d befriended over his previous 16 seasons, and family and friends. He took only a few calls. Among them: Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin, his oldest and dearest teammates in Pittsburgh, who were thrilled for him.

Crosby, the Penguins captain and franchise icon, had made it clear to general manager Ron Hextall and president of hockey operations Brian Burke as far back as the 2021 offseason that he wanted the team to re-sign impending free agents Letang and Malkin so the three veterans and lifetime Penguins could take another shot at a Stanley Cup together.

Would Crosby pressure ownership to sign Malkin and Letang? “I’ve never wanted to be GM,” Crosby said. “I think they know how I feel.”

While the negotiations with Letang took longer and were more difficult than expected, Hextall’s discussions with Malkin had turned dark. Only days before the start of free agency last summer, Letang, Crosby and coach Mike Sullivan worked overtime trying to calm Malkin, who was stewing over lowball early contract offers, limited communication with Hextall and veiled public shots from Burke.

“How bad is it?” Letang asked Crosby about the state of Malkin’s emotions and the negotiations.

“Pretty bad,” Crosby said.

Hextall first irritated Malkin late in the 2021-22 season by offering a short-term contract extension to his agent, J.P. Barry. In the offseason that animosity built as weeks passed without a follow-up conversation from Hextall. On June 17, Hextall told Barry that the team’s offer was “take-it-or-leave-it,” and the next day Burke used those words to characterize the negotiations during multiple media interviews. Not surprisingly, Malkin, a sure Hall-of-Famer, went from annoyed to insulted.

For weeks leading up to and after Letang’s deal was finalized, Malkin stewed at home while Crosby, Letang and Sullivan checked in with him from afar. With no deal in sight, Malkin began speaking to his small inner circle as if his time with the Penguins was concluding.

Hextall fielded daily questions from Fenway Sports Group brass about why Malkin hadn’t yet been re-signed. Hextall was also taken aback by the barrage of calls and texts — from Penguins alternate governor Dave Beeston, from Crosby and Sullivan, from president of business operations Kevin Acklin — after reports surfaced that Malkin would test free agency. He told his agent he wanted to “show Hextall and Burke” by trying the open market.

Malkin had joked during the ’21-22 season that he was “a rich guy,” insisting he didn’t need to worry about money on his next contract. He was having a laugh, but was also somewhat serious. He had taken less than market value on two previous deals with the Penguins and expected that trend to continue on his final NHL contract.

He was about to turn 36. He wanted to play until he was 40. He sought a contract with a no-trade clause. But more than money, he needed the Penguins to show they really wanted him, something he felt was lacking, especially from Hextall. By July 11, 2022, Malkin was convinced he’d already practiced in Cranberry for the last time.

After tucking in their son, Nikita, Malkin and his wife, Anna, sat on their leather couch and looked at a summary sheet of Hextall’s latest offer: four seasons, $24.4 million total, a full no-movement clause.

Malkin was fine with what he read. The sticking point was his bruised feelings.

“They not think I good player,” Malkin wrote in a text message to Crosby.

“They not want me,” Malkin texted to Letang, who had stepped up efforts to console Malkin after signing his deal.

Malkin wanted to stay in Pittsburgh, but he no longer trusted either Hextall or Burke. Crosby and Sullivan intervened. Each spent hours on the phone with Malkin as July 11 became July 12. Careful not to tell him what to do, Crosby and Sullivan implored Malkin to “not worry about those guys” — Hextall and Burke — when making a final decision. Letang, too, jumped into the mix. Together, two-thirds of the Big Three and their coach brought up every special moment, funny story and great time they could remember to remind Malkin what they had built in Pittsburgh. Malkin paced from room to room at his condo in Fisher Island, finally beginning to feel wanted again.

As early morning shifted to late afternoon, Malkin had heard enough to make a decision. He called his agent, Barry, with instructions to re-engage with Hextall and take the offer. Upon calling, Barry was surprised to find a receptive Hextall.

After hanging up with Barry, Hextall bragged to his assistant GM, Chris Pryor, and a handful of staffers, that he “got him on my terms — that’s how you negotiate.” Malkin informed Crosby, Letang and Sullivan that he was staying. When talking to Crosby and Letang, Malkin sounded happy for the first time in a long time.

“We win next year,” Malkin told his friends. “Big year get back Cup.”

also these bits 🥺

After McGinn was put on waivers, he played a memorable final game with the Penguins, blocking shots and setting up Crosby for a dramatic tying goal in the third period. In the locker room afterward, his soon-to-be-former teammates named him player of the game, eliciting a massive roar from the group that could be heard through closed doors.

Hextall traded Teddy Blueger during the same trip. In the middle of a dinner with the players’ fathers, arranged by Crosby at Bern’s Steakhouse in Tampa, Blueger learned via social media that he had been dealt to Vegas. He and his dad abruptly left the restaurant. Crosby rushed to console his now former teammate and after a few minutes returned to the dinner. “That’s not how we do things in Pittsburgh,” he said. Crosby remained mostly quiet the rest of the night.

…Long after most of their teammates had left the locker room after the demoralizing 5-2 defeat, the Big Three remained.

Malkin was emotional, his voice rising as he spoke. He had been dreaming of his beloved parents, Natalia and Vladimir, returning to Pittsburgh for another postseason run. Instead, they’d stay in Russia.

Letang, in the adjacent corner of the room, spoke thoughtfully and contemplatively. He had been through hell and back all season, and the Penguins’ loss was another blow.

Then there was Crosby, who sits at the center of an arc of connected lockers. The Penguins captain, with gray hairs that seemed to grow more plentiful throughout the season, sat stoically. After finishing interviews, Crosby sat by himself, staring straight ahead before slowly walking out of the locker room.

sorry need to add the header too because i would totally watch this telenovella

#wowwwwwww #i just… the teddy detail really slayed me #sidney crosby #evgeni malkin #kris letang #teddy blueger #pittsburgh penguins

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thegayhimbo · 7 months ago

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Stranger Things The First Shadow Review

Synopsis: Following a horrific incident from their previous life in Nevada, the Creel family relocates to Hawkins, Indiana in an attempt to make a fresh start and instill a sense of normalcy in their son, Henry Creel. However, Henry is anything but normal, and harbors a dark secret of his own that scares both himself and his family. When a series of gruesome animal killings takes place, attracting the attention of a group of teenage outcasts and a Doctor with his own agenda, Henry realizes his secret is about to be exposed, and is forced into a reckoning that will change the course of his life, and of Hawkins, forever.........

Observations:

FINALLY!!!!

I've been waiting for MONTHS to see The First Shadow. As far back as January, we got tickets and made plans to travel to London specifically for this. Last Thursday (June 20, 2024), we were able to view it on-stage.

Was it worth it? Short answer: YES.

This is going to be divided into several parts. The first bit will detail my experience at the play, and the remaining parts will contain SPOILER HEAVY analysis of the story, the characters, and plot revelations tied directly to the mythology of the show. There's a lot to speculate on where the Duffer Brothers will take the final season from here.

Part 1: My Experience

In terms of production value, this was top-notch. I loved the set designs, from Hawkins High School, to the classic 50s Diner the characters hang out at, to the gothic Creel House, to the cold white rooms of Hawkins Lab, to the hellish landscape of Upside Down, and so on. The 50s aesthetic works well, and there were multiple shots that conveyed the sense I was watching an episode from the show.

The special effects were spectacular. Huge shout-out to the way they choreographed the mutilation of both animals and humans. It actually looked like bones being snapped and limbs twisted around. There's even a disturbing scene where Hopper and Bob are digging up the carcass of a butchered cat, and the prop they used for it looked realistic (combined with dirt and blood for nauseating effect). The lighting also helped elevate the creepiness of it all.

The music was also great. They had a nice selection of 50s songs, but they also brought back familiar themes from the show. One of my favorite musical cues was the use of Philip Glass's "Window of Appearances" which is heard when Vecna's origins are revealed in "The Massacre at Hawkins Lab" (Season 4, Episode 7). They also use it in the climax of this play:

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The actors brought their A-game, but the two performances that really stood out for me were Isabella Pappas as Joyce and Louis McCartney as Henry Creel. Pappas does a stellar job combining Joyce's world-weary "I'm sick of everyone's bullshit" attitude with the fierceness that makes Joyce stand out as a character. It reminded me a little of Natalia Dyer's performance as Nancy Wheeler, especially with the "take charge" attitude that both of them have.

As for McCartney, he was the show-stealer. I didn't go into this play expecting to feel any sympathy for Vecna, but the emotional depth McCartney brings to his performance elevates the character to a 3-dimensional complex tragic villain, which makes his eventual fall to evil all the more heartbreaking.

The audience I was with was fully immersed. Most of the jokes got a laugh, there were a few screams when jump-scares occurred, and there was a standing ovation at the end when the cast came out to give a bow. Even during intermission, everyone was chatting happily about the play, and I heard nothing but compliments.

My only regret is, due to a scheduling conflict that day, we ended up missing the first 5 minutes, and they wouldn't let us in the theater until the title cards came up. We did see parts of the beginning on a TV screen in the lobby (and one of the patrons was gracious enough to fill us in on what happened), but I wish I'd been in the theater for the beginning. My advice is GET THERE EARLY if you plan to see it. The theater fills quickly, and they may not let you in at certain points.

The only minor nitpick I have about the quality of the play is there were a few moments I had a hard time understanding what certain characters were saying. This was mostly in the scenes with Henry/One/Vecna when he was either screaming or alternating to his demonic voice. I was usually able to figure out what was going on, but I wish the dialogue had been clearer.

Overall, this was a fun experience, and I even brought back memorabilia from it:

Part 2: Characters/Story (MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!)

It's pretty much advertised in the synopsis, but the play takes place in 1959 when Joyce, Hopper, and Bob are in high school during the time the Creel family moves into Hawkins. The story is largely centered on Henry Creel's villain origins as he becomes more unhinged due to the power he possesses. This leads to a series of pet killings in Hawkins that catches the attention of Hopper, who ropes in both Joyce and Bob to investigate and find the culprit. All the while, Joyce is struggling to put on a play at Hawkins High School (i.e. The Dark of the Moon), which coincidentally happens to have Henry/One/Vecna as the main star! :)

These three arcs sound like they shouldn't connect at all, but to the Duffer Brothers credit, they manage to thread them in a way that's believable and engaging. Joyce's exasperated attempts to get The Dark of the Moon off the ground provide some light comedy to what is essentially a grim story, and it was a nice way for the audience to see all the adult characters from the show (i.e. Ted Wheeler, Karen Wheeler, Al Munson, Lonnie Byers, Sue Sinclair, Charles Sinclair, etc) as they were during their teen years.

The investigation of Hopper, Joyce, and Bob into the pet killings hearkens back to the old-fashioned dynamic the Party had in the first season when they were looking into Will's disappearance.

As for Henry/One/Vecna, his arc was well executed and horrifying on so many levels:

The way a young Henry Creel was portrayed in this play was oddly endearing. I mentioned earlier that McCartney brings a lot of emotional depth to the character, and by that, I mean he portrays teenage Henry as awkward, shy, creepy, funny, and even sympathetic at times. He's a kid who doesn't feel comfortable in his own skin, who has a hard time interacting with other people, and has powers that frighten him with the added side-effect of NOT knowing how to control them yet. Victor Creel mentioned to Nancy and Robin in S4 that Henry was a "sensitive child" and it turns out that was meant literally: Lights go on or off (or even explode) whenever Henry's mood fluctuates (making Henry constantly jumpy), he can unknowingly tune into the radio with his powers and mistakes it for voices in his head, he can read the thoughts/moods of other people, he can create illusions (similar to Kali/Eight), and whenever he tries experimenting with his powers, it ends in disaster. In short, he's someone who's terrified of his own shadow, and almost everything in his environment sets him off. At the same time though, there are some relatable qualities to him, such as his love for comics like Captain Midnight (which he eagerly shares with Patty), and there is an internal struggle he deals with for most of the play to genuinely be a good person in spite of the demons (both literal and figurative) that threaten to overwhelm him. He reminds me of Will Byers in some ways, and I am dead sure that parallel between these two characters was intentional on the Duffer Brothers part.

Contrary to what's implied on the show, it turns out Henry had his powers long before he moved to Hawkins. Previously, he lived in Rachel, Nevada until an incident between him and another boy resulted in said boy ending up in a wheelchair. It's ambiguous whether Henry deliberately attacked the boy or if it was an accident (it could have been either one), but it was enough to force his family to move. His parents (particularly his mother) are insistent on pretending everything is normal and that Henry will eventually get better, all the while putting more of an emotional strain on Henry as he tries (and fails) to conform.

We get a little more insight into Henry's parents, and it's not pretty: Victor Creel was already established on the show as a war veteran with severe trauma and PTSD over killing innocents during a raid, and the play depicts him the same way, with the added effect of being so wrapped up with his own issues that he fails to see his own son spiraling. The sad thing is there are scenes indicating he does love Henry (and also defends Henry's relationship with Patty, referring to it as "puppy love") but he isn't able to convey that in a way which makes Henry feel safe.

As for Virginia Creel, I don't know if this was intentional in the narration, but I found her unlikable. Putting aside the unsettling 50s Stepford Wife persona she projected, her treatment of Henry bordered on emotional abuse. She likely didn't intend that, but everything, from her attempts to keep Henry isolated from the one relationship that brings him any happiness, to constantly treating him like a time bomb waiting to go off, to pretending everything is okay when it isn't.........all of this causes whatever mother/son relationship she has with Henry to deteriorate. There's even one nasty scene where she smacks him, though she quickly regrets it when Henry lashes out in anger and forces his mom to witness a vision of herself being covered in spiders when she was locked in the closet by her abusive parents as a child. In some ways, it reminded me a little of the Norma/Norman Bates relationship from the Psycho series (minus the incest subtext) in how unhealthy it is. It was deeply uncomfortable seeing her attempt to force Henry to be something he wasn't just so she could maintain the image that she and her family were perfect. And when she realized she couldn't do that, she finally tried to wash her hands of Henry the moment Dr. Brenner showed up and offered to take Henry into his care ("Lock him up and throw away the key" to paraphrase one of her comments). I get that this is set in the 50s where there's plenty of values dissonance with how parents raised their kids at that time, and there is some context behind why she was scared of her son and his behavior (because there were times Henry wasn't acting okay), but she still handled this situation poorly and contributed to Henry internalizing his trauma and insecurities until they exploded out of him in the worst possible way. It was bad enough that Henry was dealing with something he didn't understand, but she needlessly added on to those problems.

Alice (Henry's sister) is also in the play, but she only appears in a few brief scenes, and sadly doesn't get a lot of characterization beyond being the "cheerful child" in the family. It's implied she knows that something is wrong with her brother, but doesn't look closely at it. Interestingly, they portray her like she's Henry's younger sister, even though the show established that she's supposed to be older (There's a news article in S4 that claims Henry was 12 and Alice was 15 when the Creel murders happened). Other than that, there isn't really much to say about Alice.

The three main characters (Joyce, Hopper, Bob) have their familiar quirks that will follow them into adulthood: Bob is nerdy, smart, good with technology (which comes in handy in their investigation) and the host of a radio show. Hopper is the disgruntled son of the Chief of Police who's trying to make something of his life. Joyce is high-strung, in a dead-end relationship with Lonnie, and trying to find a balance between optimism and pessimism. In a way, I'm reminded of the Steve/Jonathan/Nancy dynamic we briefly got in the S1 finale, with Joyce having similarities to Nancy, Bob to Jonathan, and Hopper to Steve. This was clearly set up as a love triangle between the 3 of them, and I have to question if the Duffer Brothers deliberately did this to foreshadow what could end up happening between Steve/Jonathan/Nancy in S5. In any case, Joyce, Hopper, and Bob investigate the animal killings when they start to happen, and while they come close to figuring out who it is, they ultimately miss the mark and pin the crime on the wrong person (Poor Victor Creel). Sadly, by that time, it's too late, and both Virginia and Alice Creel are dead.

There is a new character introduced named Patty Newby who plays an important role. She's the adopted sister of Bob and was revealed to have been taken in (or stolen as a child, as Henry later claims) by Bob's father, Principal Newby. Despite his misanthropy and awkward nature, Henry takes an interest in Patty, and the two of them develop genuine affection for one another. When Patty auditions for Joyce's play, Henry helps her with her lines (which leads to both of them getting cast as the main leads), and later feels comfortable enough to share his secret powers with her, including giving her a glamorous vision of starring and singing in a Las Vegas show. Against all odds, I actually found the relationship between Henry and Patty to be cute. Not only did it humanize Henry, but the way it was presented made sense: Both of them are outcasts with deep insecurities that they're trying to work through. Patty feels like an outsider in her family and at school due to her race (which isn't helped by people like Dustin's father making disgustingly bigoted comment towards her during class) and her complicated relationship with her adopted dad, who treats her coldly. Since Henry also feels like an outcast in his family, he's able to empathize with her, and both of them try to encourage the best in one another. In a moment of genuine kindness, Henry helps Patty locate her biological mother (who coincidentally is also a singer), and Patty returns the favor by trying to encourage Henry into believing that he is a good person and that there are positives with his powers.

I know some fans will complain about how Patty was never mentioned on the show even though she's supposed to be adopted siblings with Bob, but I'm not bothered by that. Nothing about her existence contradicts anything on the show, and it was nice to see a redeemable side to Henry that proves he wasn't a complete monster to begin with. The only thing that's harsher in hindsight is that, because Patty and Bob were close growing up, and because of Henry's affection for Patty, it makes what he does to Bob in S2 (i.e. siccing the demodogs on Bob) a lot more vile.

Finally, there's Dr. Brenner himself: If there was ever any doubt that he saw Henry and the other special kids like El as a means to an end, this play erases that. He is at his absolute worst here. Manipulative. Cruel. Determined to push Henry over the edge. Egging Henry into murdering a convicted prisoner, even though Henry fights back against doing that, all so Brenner can test him. Hurling verbal abuse at Henry, and then playing up the "Loving Papa" persona in the same way he would do with El years later. It really says something that he is the most loathsome character in the play, and that he doesn't see Henry as a person so much as a tool.

This was already a given on the show, but I still remember fans who kept making apologies for Brenner's behavior in S4 while insisting he really did care about Henry and the other kids in spite of his abuse of them. 🙄 I always maintained those were garbage apologies, and this play only reinforces that. Even though Henry is ultimately responsible for the choices he makes (regardless of the negative influences in his life), there is an argument to be had that Brenner bears responsibility for destroying whatever remaining goodness Henry had left in him until Henry became the cold, calculating monster with a plethora of rage and a deep hatred for humanity to accompany it.

Part 3: Revelations

For a while now, I've held theories that the powers El, Henry, and the other special kids have had were connected to the Upside Down. These theories were even talked about in my reviews for Stranger Things Six, Stranger Things The Other Side, and Stranger Things Suspicious Minds. I've also speculated on the idea that the Mind Flayer might be its own entity, and that Henry/One/Vecna didn't create it so much as gave it a form when he found those black particles in the Upside Down decades later.

This play confirms those theories: Not only is the Upside Down connected to their powers, but it's revealed in this play that the Mind Flayer acted as a malevolent corrupter to a young Henry, which would later lead to him becoming the monstrous Vecna.

At the beginning of the play, there's a flashback to 1943 where the U.S. military was experimenting with a new technology on the USS Eldridge to create a force field to hide the ship from the Germans during WWII. Interestingly, this bit was based on a real life alleged experiment called "Project Rainbow," and the pamphlet I bought gives more details about it:

In the play, the technology caused the ship to end up in the Upside Down, where most of the crew was slaughtered by Demogorgons. The sole survivor turned out to be Dr. Brenner's father, who came back to the real world with altered blood in his system. He ends up dying, but passed on his secret to his son, kick-starting Brenner's scientific pursuits for the military. In other words: Brenner was aware of the Upside Down long before El banished Vecna to it in 1979.

Fast-forward a few years later. Henry is in Rachel, Nevada, playing in one of the caves with a spyglass when he encounters a rogue scientist who worked under Brenner in Nevada. Brenner had spent years attempting to replicate the experiment on the USS Eldridge in Nevada, and one of his scientists had stolen key technology and fled to the caves. When Henry discovers the technology, it transports both him and the scientist to the Upside Down. The scientist is killed, but Henry gets exposed to a malevolent entity (The Mind Flayer) before he is transported back to this world. Just like with Brenner's father, his blood is altered, and so is his personality. Brenner would later be able to track Henry down due to the spyglass he dropped in the caves after his exposure. In spite of escaping the Upside Down, Henry was now connected to the Mind Flayer, who spends the majority of the play acting as a malicious influence driving Henry to kill, and chipping away at his personality bit-by-bit:

It's not really a spoiler to say Henry is behind the pet killings in Hawkins (since he was shown killing animals on the show), but the difference here is the play makes it ambiguous how much control Henry has over his powers and actions. The Mind Flayer certainly uses Henry as a vessel, but there are moments Henry was shown to be capable of resisting it, indicating there was some manner of agency on Henry's part. In some moments, he chose to drive off the monster, whereas in others (like the deaths of Virginia and Alice Creel), he allowed the monster to work through him.

Like I said, these are theories I've held for a while now, so it felt gratifying to see them validated. While Vecna's monologue to El in 1979 implies that he was always a sociopath with powers who acted on his own accord with no outside influence, it's important to note that Vecna in that scene is an unreliable narrator twisting past events to paint himself a certain way to El. Part of it may be that he doesn't want to admit he was a victim of the Mind Flayer and that he made his own choices (Which is true: He DID have choices and the ability to reject the Mind Flayer, which we see in one scene when the Mind Flayer attacks Patty's father, and Henry intervenes on Patty's behalf to save him). Part of it may be that he's been under the hold of the Mind Flayer for so many years that, by the time El meets him, he's come to believe he and The Mind Flayer are one in the same.

Either way, regardless of what happened, there were a lot of elements stacked against Henry that makes me pity him: The Mind Flayer's influence, Brenner exploiting Henry's powers for his own selfish scientific desires instead of genuinely helping him, his parents trying to force Henry to be normal and shove down his issues instead of taking the time to deal with them..............the only positive thing Henry had going for him was his relationship with Patty. Her determination to see the good in Henry and his powers, and her belief that Henry could rise above the darkness gave some brief salvation for him. Unfortunately, that wasn't enough to save him, and the darkness won in the end.

There is a slight change I was okay with: In the show, Henry mentions that he fell into a coma after killing his mother and sister. While that is true to some extent, he actually wakes up a few hours later and flees the house to go find Patty at the school. He encounters Joyce in the basement (after the power gets knocked out) and, in a scene that's both creepy and sad, he acknowledges that Joyce is a good person and warns her that the world will punish her for it while taking away everything she holds dear. There's a dark irony to his words considering he would later be responsible for the disappearance of her son, the death of Bob, and most of the problems Joyce would later deal with on the show.

Following his encounter with Joyce, Henry finds Patty on an elevated stage platform, and begs her to run away with him. She is basically his last hope at this point, and even that is taken away when Brenner manages to track him and Patty down. There's a whole "Good Angel/Bad Devil" exchange that occurs as Patty (the Angel) implores Henry to fight against The Mind Flayer while Brenner (the Devil) snarls that Henry is already a monster and he might as well accept it. All of this cultivates in Henry using his powers on Patty, having finally surrendered to the Mind Flayer's influence, and throwing her from the rafters, almost killing her. Henry passes out after this, and Brenner takes him back to Hawkins Lab, where he will spend the next 20 years as Brenner's prisoner. Patty manages to survive the fall and, thanks to information Henry gave her earlier, she's able to locate her biological mother in Las Vegas and reunite with her. The last act of redemption Henry would ever have.

These revelations help give context to the mythology of the show. They explain what motivated Dr. Brenner for so many years. They explain the Mind Flayer was well aware of this world, and that Brenner was aware of the Upside Down long before El opened the gate in 1983. They explain Henry already had troubling aspects to begin with, and that his encounter with the Upside Down and the Mind Flayer only amplified those problems. They explain how and why Henry became disillusioned, nihilistic, and angry over the next 2 decades, and how he would project that onto his enemies once he became Vecna. They explain why Henry/One/Vecna takes an interest in certain characters on the show, from El (whose upbringing and struggles are similar to what Henry went through as a child) to Will (who shares similar traits with him as an outcast and a nerd) to even Billy (with both of them projecting their rage onto the world), and went as far as to target them. And, most importantly, it explains how Henry and other special kids like Kali and El got their powers.

This does raise interesting questions that I hope S5 will explore more of:

Since Will was kidnapped and taken to the Upside Down in S1, does this mean his blood type has been altered as well due to his exposure to the Mind Flayer? Does he now possess some kind of power similar to El that we haven't seen yet but might be unveiled in the last season?

And what about the Upside Down freezing in time in 1983? Considering the Upside Down remained consistent as a hellish environment (even after El banished Vecna to it in 1979), this gives the impression that what happened there was an anomaly. I still maintain Will's disappearance had something to do with the altered environment, and I have provided theories for it in my review of Stranger Things The Other Side, but it's still a question that remains unanswered by this play.

And then there's Patty: She does survive, and last we see of Patty is her reuniting with her biological mom, but it's also mentioned she disappeared and that Bob (her adopted brother) misses her and plays songs over his radio podcast in her memory. Did Bob ever find Patty following this, or did he die before that could happen? Does she even remember Bob or Henry, or did the fall (which injured her badly enough that she now walks with a cane) cause her retrograde amnesia? Is it possible S5 might bring her back, and she could have some role in reaching out to Henry/One/Vecna? Is she still alive at this point?

So many questions that I'm hoping S5 provides answers for.

Part 4: Themes

It's no coincidence that the play Joyce produces for the school holds parallels to the tragedy of Henry and Patty's relationship. The Dark of the Moon is a ballad about a "witch boy" named John who falls in love with a human girl named Barbara Allen. He is given a human form on the condition that she remains true to him. Through a series of tragic events (including the death of their child at the hands of religiously-crazed townsfolk), Barbara ends up betraying John, causing him to lose his humanity and become a part of the fog from the place he came from.

If we're drawing direct parallels, it's pretty obvious Henry is John, the "witch boy" embedded with special powers who falls for the human girl, Barbara/Patty. The difference is that the "humanity" of Henry is more metaphorical than literal: He attempts to not give into the monstrous influence of the Mind Flayer, and Patty recognizes this and is determined to help him through the love she gives him. However, the key difference is Patty isn't the one who betrays Henry. If anything, she remains a loyal friend and confidant to Henry (even AFTER Brenner tells her that Henry killed his mother and sister) and desperately tries to convey to Henry that she believes in him and that he can fight off The Mind Flayer. Unfortunately, that proves insufficient, and it's Henry who inflicts the final betrayal on Patty, destroying their relationship, and causing Henry to become prisoner of Dr. Brenner at Hawkins Lab. He is the "witch boy" who returned to where he came from.

It should be noted that the ballad this play is based on contains these final lyrics:

They laid poor Barbra by the old church gate,

With the wild, wild rose growin' nigh her,

And witch boy roamed the mountain high,

'Til mountain fog became him.

And then one morn, before the dawn,

The fog rolled down that mountain,

It came to rest nigh Barbara's rose,

and watered there a briar.

The rose and briar climbed the old church gate,

'Til they could grow no higher,

And there they tied in a true love's knot,

The rose wrapped 'round the briar.

And so a witch and human gal,

Had conquered death eternal,

And 'neath the darkness of the moon,

Their love's entwined forever.

Could this be foreshadowing that, as evil as Henry/One/Vecna has become, there is still a chance at redemption for him through Patty? That whatever love he held for her could bring back Henry's humanity and allow him to overcome the Mind Flayer one last time? They did a similar thing with Billy Hargrove in S3 (with the platonic love he had for his mother), and since love is one of the key forces that's been shown to repel the Mind Flayer, it could work again in Henry's favor if he chooses to take it.

However, a lot of this is tied to whether Henry is capable of remorse or empathy at this point, and considering what we've seen on the show, it's a safe bet to say whatever humanity he had left in him is now gone. I'm doubtful that even if Patty shows up in S5, it'll be enough to redeem Henry. There are some things you can't come back from, and regardless of the negative influences he was dealing with, Henry still had choices, and he chose to hurt others.

In a way, Henry's story reminds me of Coriolanus Snow's arc in The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes: Despite the relationship he has with Lucy Gray Baird, it wasn't enough to cancel out his negative personality traits (narcissism, entitlement, etc) and whatever love he may have had for her isn't enough to redeem him, or prevent him from becoming the tyrant we all know and loathe by the events of The Hunger Games.

Another theme present was the exploration of the adult characters and how the personality traits they had as teens continue well into adulthood. It's been speculated before by various groups of people that, internally, there's a certain point where you stop growing mentally and remain the same age, and that definitely seems to be the case here with some characters. The problem is that while these qualities might have been excusable when they were teenagers, they become less appealing as time goes on:

Ted Wheeler, for example, is depicted in the play as a dumb jock who's clueless most of the time. Fast-forward to the 80s, and he's now an apathetic father who still remains clueless. Not only is this not cute anymore, it's frustrating to his wife and those around him.

Karen Wheeler is depicted in her teens as interested in her youth and beauty and dating Ted BECAUSE he's a hot jock. By the time she's an adult, she's still into that (though she does make more of an effort to be emotionally available to her kids unlike Ted) and her desire for youth and a passionate relationship almost leads her to sleeping with Billy despite the inappropriate age difference between the two. 🤮

Jim Hopper is a younger man with a fractured relationship with his abusive father, and a lot of his motivation is rooted in trying to stick it to his dad and prove that he isn't the loser his father thinks he is. It's why he takes an interest in the animal killings around Hawkins and conducts an investigation similar to how police would do it. It's also why he joins the Vietnam War later (as he would later tell Enzo/Dmitri in S4). Even later becoming the Chief of Police on the show likely has its roots in this. Years later, long after his dad is likely dead, he's still trying to prove him wrong.

Lonnie Byers is depicted as a douchebag, even as a teen, who isn't really interested in making something of his life, who's coasting off other people, and really doesn't have any desire to improve himself. Come Season 1, and is it any surprised he's a deadbeat dad who's divorced from Joyce and still making shitty decisions down the line?

Same goes for Al Munson: The play depicts him as an improv actor who's deeply self-centered, who isn't as good as he thinks he is, and is someone who just annoys everyone around him with his antics. Anyone who's read Flight of Icarus knows he doesn't get any better as an adult, and it has completely wrecked his relationship with his brother Wayne and his son Eddie.

And then there's Dustin's father: "Asshole" is the best term I can use to describe him. He's very belittling and not well-liked (even among his peers), and it doesn't surprise me that Mrs. Henderson (who's also shown to be a cat-lover as a teenager) would eventually split with him and raised Dustin on her own.

There are a few positives though: Both Charles and Sue Sinclair come out of the play as decent people, and Sue is shown to be a loyal friend to Joyce, helping Joyce to get her play organized. I can see why they ended up together, and I maintain both Lucas and Erica are lucky to have them as parents.

The overall point is, like with Henry (who also never really grew up, and is now an angry kid trapped in the body of a 30-something adult), there is a theme that change is a process you have to work on. All of these characters (including Henry) have their own flaws they have to work through, and it is a choice about whether you put in the hard work of overcoming those flaws, or you surrender to them and let them dictate your life and stilt your growth. It's always an uphill battle, and it's never easy, but when the alternative is hurting the people around you, I would argue it's worth the effort for their sake.

Final Thoughts:

While there is some leeway between how events in the play can be interpreted, there is one tiny retcon that was hard to ignore: Henry's age. In the show, it's specifically mentioned in the newspaper article that Nancy and Robin look up that Henry was 12 when Virginia and Alice Creel were killed. However, this play retcons his age to being 14 years old. My guess is this was likely done so that Henry would be a freshman, and therefore able to attend Hawkins High School with Joyce, Hopper, Bob, and the other characters. While I don't mind this retcon for story purposes, it still sticks out like a sore thumb, and I wish the Duffer Brothers would take better care with details like that, especially after what happened in S4 with Will's birthday being forgotten.

There is a pamphlet for 10€ that they sell at the Phoenix Theater that gives more information about the play, its cast, and the central ideas behind the story. You can even see it in the picture above with the other memorabilia I collected (next to the t-shirts I bought). If you're going to see the play, I highly recommend purchasing it. It's worth the money.

Overall, this was a well-written play that I'm willing to accept as canon. I hope the events in this play are referenced in S5, and have a role in how the show's story unfolds. I highly recommend getting a ticket for anyone who is a Stranger Things fan! :)

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