#i just… the teddy detail really slayed me

[goaliekisses]

woof juicy news day for us pens fans. not only do we have sidney crosby’s Seduction of kyle dubas, now we have this article on Why Hextall Sucks (and how he pissed off even sidney crosby) + some angsty Geno details that i will only relish now that he’s still with us:

Early last summer, at his spacious home in Montreal, Kris Letang finally saw the document that secured his future in Pittsburgh.

No stranger to the multi-page, standard player contract, this one was particularly special. It was his fourth, and probably his last. It contained specific elements Letang and his agent required. One line read “six years.” Another read “$36.6 million.” The line that Letang really loved?: “full no-movement clause.”

Together, those words recommitted Letang and the Penguins, the only NHL franchise he had ever known. At 35, he would finish his career in Pittsburgh.

As word spread last July 7, Letang’s phone blew up. The flood of well-wishers included teammates past and present, various Penguins personnel he’d befriended over his previous 16 seasons, and family and friends. He took only a few calls. Among them: Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin, his oldest and dearest teammates in Pittsburgh, who were thrilled for him.

Crosby, the Penguins captain and franchise icon, had made it clear to general manager Ron Hextall and president of hockey operations Brian Burke as far back as the 2021 offseason that he wanted the team to re-sign impending free agents Letang and Malkin so the three veterans and lifetime Penguins could take another shot at a Stanley Cup together.

Would Crosby pressure ownership to sign Malkin and Letang? “I’ve never wanted to be GM,” Crosby said. “I think they know how I feel.”

While the negotiations with Letang took longer and were more difficult than expected, Hextall’s discussions with Malkin had turned dark. Only days before the start of free agency last summer, Letang, Crosby and coach Mike Sullivan worked overtime trying to calm Malkin, who was stewing over lowball early contract offers, limited communication with Hextall and veiled public shots from Burke.

“How bad is it?” Letang asked Crosby about the state of Malkin’s emotions and the negotiations.

“Pretty bad,” Crosby said.

Hextall first irritated Malkin late in the 2021-22 season by offering a short-term contract extension to his agent, J.P. Barry. In the offseason that animosity built as weeks passed without a follow-up conversation from Hextall. On June 17, Hextall told Barry that the team’s offer was “take-it-or-leave-it,” and the next day Burke used those words to characterize the negotiations during multiple media interviews. Not surprisingly, Malkin, a sure Hall-of-Famer, went from annoyed to insulted.

For weeks leading up to and after Letang’s deal was finalized, Malkin stewed at home while Crosby, Letang and Sullivan checked in with him from afar. With no deal in sight, Malkin began speaking to his small inner circle as if his time with the Penguins was concluding.

Hextall fielded daily questions from Fenway Sports Group brass about why Malkin hadn’t yet been re-signed. Hextall was also taken aback by the barrage of calls and texts — from Penguins alternate governor Dave Beeston, from Crosby and Sullivan, from president of business operations Kevin Acklin — after reports surfaced that Malkin would test free agency. He told his agent he wanted to “show Hextall and Burke” by trying the open market.

Malkin had joked during the ’21-22 season that he was “a rich guy,” insisting he didn’t need to worry about money on his next contract. He was having a laugh, but was also somewhat serious. He had taken less than market value on two previous deals with the Penguins and expected that trend to continue on his final NHL contract.

He was about to turn 36. He wanted to play until he was 40. He sought a contract with a no-trade clause. But more than money, he needed the Penguins to show they really wanted him, something he felt was lacking, especially from Hextall. By July 11, 2022, Malkin was convinced he’d already practiced in Cranberry for the last time.

After tucking in their son, Nikita, Malkin and his wife, Anna, sat on their leather couch and looked at a summary sheet of Hextall’s latest offer: four seasons, $24.4 million total, a full no-movement clause.

Malkin was fine with what he read. The sticking point was his bruised feelings.

“They not think I good player,” Malkin wrote in a text message to Crosby.

“They not want me,” Malkin texted to Letang, who had stepped up efforts to console Malkin after signing his deal.

Malkin wanted to stay in Pittsburgh, but he no longer trusted either Hextall or Burke. Crosby and Sullivan intervened. Each spent hours on the phone with Malkin as July 11 became July 12. Careful not to tell him what to do, Crosby and Sullivan implored Malkin to “not worry about those guys” — Hextall and Burke — when making a final decision. Letang, too, jumped into the mix. Together, two-thirds of the Big Three and their coach brought up every special moment, funny story and great time they could remember to remind Malkin what they had built in Pittsburgh. Malkin paced from room to room at his condo in Fisher Island, finally beginning to feel wanted again.

As early morning shifted to late afternoon, Malkin had heard enough to make a decision. He called his agent, Barry, with instructions to re-engage with Hextall and take the offer. Upon calling, Barry was surprised to find a receptive Hextall.

After hanging up with Barry, Hextall bragged to his assistant GM, Chris Pryor, and a handful of staffers, that he “got him on my terms — that’s how you negotiate.” Malkin informed Crosby, Letang and Sullivan that he was staying. When talking to Crosby and Letang, Malkin sounded happy for the first time in a long time.

“We win next year,” Malkin told his friends. “Big year get back Cup.”

also these bits 🥺

After McGinn was put on waivers, he played a memorable final game with the Penguins, blocking shots and setting up Crosby for a dramatic tying goal in the third period. In the locker room afterward, his soon-to-be-former teammates named him player of the game, eliciting a massive roar from the group that could be heard through closed doors.

Hextall traded Teddy Blueger during the same trip. In the middle of a dinner with the players’ fathers, arranged by Crosby at Bern’s Steakhouse in Tampa, Blueger learned via social media that he had been dealt to Vegas. He and his dad abruptly left the restaurant. Crosby rushed to console his now former teammate and after a few minutes returned to the dinner. “That’s not how we do things in Pittsburgh,” he said. Crosby remained mostly quiet the rest of the night.

…Long after most of their teammates had left the locker room after the demoralizing 5-2 defeat, the Big Three remained.

Malkin was emotional, his voice rising as he spoke. He had been dreaming of his beloved parents, Natalia and Vladimir, returning to Pittsburgh for another postseason run. Instead, they’d stay in Russia.

Letang, in the adjacent corner of the room, spoke thoughtfully and contemplatively. He had been through hell and back all season, and the Penguins’ loss was another blow.

Then there was Crosby, who sits at the center of an arc of connected lockers. The Penguins captain, with gray hairs that seemed to grow more plentiful throughout the season, sat stoically. After finishing interviews, Crosby sat by himself, staring straight ahead before slowly walking out of the locker room.

sorry need to add the header too because i would totally watch this telenovella

[punkscowardschampions]

Java Pt.2

Ava: I know you can’t, but can we pretend you can stay, my parents aren’t back ‘til Monday

James: I could try and come back before then

Ava: You could?

James: For a moment, at least

Ava: They’re all yours, whichever you can take

James: You’re all mine, I can barely take that in

Ava: The fact we will be all alone, truly, keeps coming to me in waves, my brain can’t hold it, believe it

James: Come to the door

Ava: Jesus, right

Ava: [do, making your way from whatever floor you could be on at that point because big houses do make you feel like people could be there without you knowing which is unsettling, when you get there it’s going to be obvious you ran by the way you’re out of breath and pink, which is only appropriate for the !! way you’re both feeling now and the way we threw this door open to let him in]

James: [mhmm, hence I had him say it cos someone could be passed out somewhere really random and y’all wouldn’t know unless they popped up like Edna from behind the bar and that isn’t what y’all want when he’s being a filthy cheater and this is your first time thank you, when you’ve timed it so she’s throwing open that door as your car pulls up and stops, meaning she gets every cinematic moment of him getting out and walking toward her to echo how dramatically he lingered upon leaving earlier, just peak romance things]

Ava: [you are not wrong James and your paranoia makes perfect sense given the circumstances here, meanwhile we’ll be here having this perfect cinematic moment, feeling as if our face will break from how big we’re smiling at you, which doesn’t feel like the ‘right’ reaction but we also don’t possibly know how else we could greet you, when we can’t run over to you and kiss you on the street because enough in reality still that we know that is a no-no, laughing at our own massive grin and looking down to stop looking at him, only for the briefest second but you gotta like you’re trying to find chill you simply won’t]

James: [excuse this man DYING about how happy she is to see him because who is in his life rn except baby Jay and that’s a v different vibe no offence hun, doing such a self conscious kind of smile back in response because so not used to this in the best way and too aware that we could and don’t want to scare her off, doing his own blush a little bit as he gets closer and joins in with the laugh, also kind of self conscious/in a I can’t believe this is happening way, having a final linger on the doorstep, this time to hand her a beautifully wrapped present which we know is the first gift of a book that reflects their life and circumstances, whether that’s a coming of age sweet 16 vibe or love affair vibe, or both I hope, regardless of what favours he would have had to call in at this o clock to track this down either from a fellow book nerd or looking through his old shit left at his parents house when he dropped Teddy off to find a copy he owned and read when he was younger]

Ava: [any awareness we are being a lot is being overridden with our own giddy nerves, when you literally cannot stop smiling, nor laughing now, not a full in-your-face affair but just with the disbelief and anticipation of this all, at least this present will finally provide distraction enough to stop you in your tracks, not fully shutting the door in your face, good day, but we already know it’s a book because this is who we know you to be now, running a finger under the ribbon/string/whatever we’re rocking, looking back up at him, at first as a ? like should I open this now but the obvious parallels are then flying through your head like !! so you have to gently pull him inside because this door needs to be shut immediately actually]

James: [when you’ve themed the colour coding of this present wrapping to her party decor or her outfit entirely subconsciously because you’ve been obsessing over every detail of that first encounter by thinking and writing about it so much, slay, and that only hits you when she’s holding it either against said outfit or carrying it inside and you’re like oh, accidental peak romance again there, speaking of, follow her gentle lead inside, you probably will have to bend to get through the door no joke cos even though her dad and brother are p tall you are taller and it’s london architecture here, so then you’re THINKING about how you’ll have to to kiss her as well, closing the door himself SO deliberately like I gotta hear that shut and know it is and we’re 100% alone rn immediately, bonus points if she was intending to close it because it’s her door so we get a hand on hers moment]

Ava: [you’ll see that because of course you picked a slay outfit, you are a fashion girlie after all, and the idea of a boy being that thoughtful, who else could and would ever? Another reason not to rip this beautiful present open right now because you’ll want to save this wrapping for the romance of it all; speaking of, we would’ve definitely been reaching to shut the door so you’re going to accidentally fall into being THAT close to him, under his arm if you get what I’m picturing there, because you weren’t paying any attention to just reaching behind you to do that, so then you’re like OH, here under him like hello, of course not actually being able to say anything, nor move, whether the latter is because we can’t or don’t want to]

James: [he’ll only be moving to steady her which isn’t actually a shameless ploy to touch her but he will be and that’ll be !! for them both because they have not at all yet, LOOKING down at her like he’s worried she’ll be crushed to death against him and the door, hence his ‘I’m sorry’ is so sincere even if he’s saying it in a flustered manner more so for the reasons of proximity and !!]

Ava: [shaking our head as sincerely, putting a hand on him in the same steadying manner but we mean it in a stop apologising way without saying it because you don’t wanna sound annoyed with him or overstep but obviously we have already noticed you do all the time and you don’t need to, especially now, smoothing down the sleeve of his jacket, letting your hand rest once it reaches his wrist, toying with the idea of holding his hand but not fully reaching out to do so]

James: [excuse me screaming because a wrist grab is baze and ruster coded so that makes perfect sense for you, we love to see it, taking a breath that isn’t a sigh but is an acknowledgement that he knows he over apologises and isn’t trying to be that bitch rn, reaching his hand to very gently touch the cheek he did not kiss because stopped at one]

Ava: [biting your lip so you don’t breathe at all because you have to focus all your energy and attention on how his hand feels on your face like he’s doing something entirely brand new and wild because how it all feels right now ‘can I get you anything or do you-’ taking the dramatic breath you need trying to say that all breathlessly, deciding not to finish your sentence but the way we meet your eyes tells you its do you want your kiss now because he did say at the door]

James: [using the hand that he had on her cheek as a deliberate move to bring her closer and line them up, cupping her face more as opposed to stroking it how he was before because he do want that kiss now and there’s no need to say it when it’s this obvious from the LOOK alone never mind how he’s guiding her into it]

Ava: [holding his opposite cheek to the one he is of yours, needing that stability to feel like this is real, as well as practically pulling yourself closer to him, closer to his face, so you can kiss him, your eyes on his lips with SO much intensity before your own mouth is covering his, maintaining painfully light contact, not pushing how you want to, it’s still a proper kiss but not an unhinged one yet, even if your other hand is finding its way into his hair]

James: [I feel so sorry for tall people either you’re gonna crick your neck or you have to pick someone up, can’t relate but y’all have my sympathies, not that he cares in this moment because more peak romance is happening, case in point him saying her name for the first time with as much intensity as she’s staring at his lips just before this kiss happens just because he’s gotta, and him immediately making said kiss more !! so she lowkey is crushed against the door the way he was worried about before but he isn’t soz this time, there’s no chill, we’re having a full and intense makeout] 

Ava: [you make it work when you gotta and right now, we gotta; being pressed up against the door is helpful because you can get at the height you need to be and then pin her in place, the way you’re going to be saying his name fully into this makeout because caught you unaware so it’s blatantly a !! MOAN that has your cheeks burning but it’s only making you kiss him harder, nuzzling your face against his as you do]

James: [he’s a dark horse, as much as his spirit has been crushed by Chlo’s insanity to a point where he almost doesn’t have a personality (aside from books which why we’re going so hard with it) and is very apologetic and meek and mild there’s a sauciness still from the old him and he’s here to do the absolute most with it, including kissing both her cheeks INDECENTLY because they are so flushed and we’re so into it, it’s giving Teddy but also he could never with how !! this is, soz]

Ava: [you have had a lot of affairs, and this is literally the only way you’ve been able to be your own person in any capacity so, just saying, it tracks that it slaps, you very much can and must have that, boy; pulling his jacket off him as if he’s the one with the red hot face but we all know we just need to be undressing you, however many layers there may be left before you are in any real saucy sense, it’s a must as we’re once again trying not to breathe because every breath already feels like a pant and we can’t deal]

James: [so glad you agree with me on this because I think it tracks too, like Ava clearly doesn’t have a shit ton of prior experience here so we could just say it slaps for that reason but I’m soz no, it simply slaps full stop, you’re having this sir and you deserve to, looking like that you could have all the affairs you want and you blatantly have, taking literally not even half a step back as if she can’t breathe because she’s being crushed/needs some room to undress you despite the fact you’ve barely moved because that’s all you can stand to, bringing her away from the door slightly with you but it’s just a shameless excuse to pull her close to you a different way, we all know, idk yet what she’s wearing but GRABBING at it, lowkey lifting her up as we’re kissing her again but not fully picking her up deliberately we’re just being that !! about how we’re holding her atm]

Ava: [doing a frown and a little noise of disapproval because where are you going, even for a second, even that close still, pulling him back as he pulls you into him, meeting in the middle and still trying to be closer to him still despite that being an impossibility at this point again, having to put your hands under whatever he’s wearing on top, letting yourself feel his body until your hands are resting on his back, as they did on his wrist earlier]

James: [automatically doing a little comforting noise when she makes hers because he’s that sort of bear and can’t help it, immediately getting closer again too even though he was purely attempting to get both of them away from the door and more into the gaff/any type of room remotely lol, no hesitation at all in removing whatever top he is wearing which means he could now be topless in this hallway or at the very least down to a single layer if he was rocking 2 under this coat/jacket maybe cos I doubt you were necessarily wearing many more in may in your house doing whatever you were before she messaged you with the Teddy sos, the way she’d slide down his body because he was holding her up but now he’s either unbuttoning or pulling a t-shirt over his head and can’t would be such a mood and feel so !! enjoy that lads as well as the EYE CONTACT he’s making as he does this which could be brief or lingering depending on the style of top]

Ava: [trying and failing not to STARE at him because what a body to be all over in this moment ‘I feel like a pervert’ blurting this out because you know you are really checking him out with no shame here, doing the same sort of nervous laugh he did earlier, reaching out to trail your index finger down his jawline, onto his neck and down across his collarbone, doing a shaky sigh as your press your lips against the spot your finger ended up, just on his chest]

James: [when you have to genuinely laugh because whenever you’re given a second to dwell on it it’s very much on your mind that her 16th birthday was literally today and you’re the pervert if anyone is, but thankfully a second is all he has to think about that because his brain would be short circuiting about her STARE never mind the way she is then touching him and kissing him, hit her with an apt quote about being this shameless or whatever, be it from one of the authors you were talking about earlier or the book you got her or whatever, we know the vibes, love that you’re reciting that after I said your brain short circuited haha]

Ava: [starting to pout up at him like hey don’t laugh at me lol vibes but the point his laugh is making hits you and you have to laugh too, even if you’re shaking your head slowly as you give him heart eyes like okay, neither are you, boy because we refuse to accept that narrative because we’ve all met actual perverts and he is not one of ‘em; just our eyes lighting up when you start quoting this, absentmindedly kissing along the entire length of his collarbones as we listen ‘you can actually do that’ ‘cos anyone can google whilst talking online or in texts, so we’re so about the way you clearly genuinely memorise these things]

James: [obvs giving her heart eyes back when she gives them to him, he simply must, catch him moving a strap out of his way now I know what the outfit looks like, bending to kiss her shoulder and collarbone and neck, everywhere he possibly can as far as uncovered skin in that area goes because we don’t know how to handle her praise and how clearly she’s impressed by what a nerd we are, so we can avoid her eyes with our antics and rely on the physical which is easier]

Ava: [close your own eyes, finally, and just enjoy how this all feels, attempting to push your dress down fully for him but it obviously has some kind of zip/fastening situation that is going to need to be dealt with, which is a good time for you to make a move to your bedroom, or wherever you end up ‘cos your bedroom is on like the third floor so idk about that besties, turning his cheek, the way he turned yours towards him before, in the direction of the stairs like shall we?]

James: [my boo says the first room you come across when you get upstairs more like and she’s so right for that, it’s fine nobody’s in regardless of what room you end up in and you’ll have time and opportunity to make it up to her bedroom before he has to leave if we so wish, or we’ll give you another chance to be there another time, this boy not helping the situation at all because when they’ve made it up said stairs/ while they are still on them potentially given the lack of chill he’ll defs be locating where and how her dress is fastened and undoing it enough that there’s room to be more extra with where he can kiss her but not fully enough that it falls completely off wherever they may be, love the fact that walking a few steps without doing the most has clearly killed you sir and thus you need to insist on this pause]

Ava: [we all know that’s the energy, also that when you’re rich your hallways are just full rooms because you can so there’s undoubtedly some sofa situation or something here that you can stop on and not have either of you feel any type of weird way about being in either one of the twin’s rooms because not the mood thank you; entirely the mood however the way we are SHIVERING at this undressing but not quite moment]

James: [mhmm enjoy the perks of being rich af to enhance the moment rather than ruining it with weird vibes neither of you need, things are precarious enough cos of him being a cheater and time being limited for y’all without us adding to it, love that she’s wearing such a statement necklace he can leave on whilst finally letting this dress fully fall once y’all have reached a sofa or wherever to fall onto, this girl just here fully looking like she stepped out of a painting or some shit, hence we’ve gotta take a sec to just STARE at her]

Ava: [very Titanique of you, very much the vibe, thank you kindly; and however confident a girl we are in general, there’s no way we are not DYING being this naked and exposed under this boy’s blue-as-hell gaze, hence we’re reaching out our hand to have him pull us closer so he can’t be LOOKING like that and making us so !!]

James: [SO titanic, we love that for you, do pull her in because you’d also be DYING at how beautiful she is idk how many women you’ve slept with sir this one is literally model levels of stunning and that’s before we even get into the whole thing of clearly how unlike your usual ladies you sleep with she is, catch him having to suppress another laugh almost in the I can’t believe this is happening rn kind of way because this feels very much like something he’d write/imagine/dream about but not something that is actually happening as he’s lying her on this sofa, it goes without saying he’s suppressing said amusement by kissing her everywhere he’s just exposed, pulling down a bra strap (assuming she’s wearing one) for that parallel to when he did her dress before, cos really taking our time and being here in this moment that is actually happening is the energy, giving it light pressure how she kissed him at first, but we all know that his chill won’t last and he’ll get more feral about it immediately]

Ava: [neither of you can believe this is happening or how stunningly out of this world attractive you both are, hence the laugh he suppresses by kissing you all over is obviously coming out because you don’t even know what to do with yourself in this moment ‘Oh my God’ the attempt to breathe being blatant in the pauses between each word there, just enjoying how his bare skin feels against yours, exploring the entirety of his back with your hands, also doing this softly and slowly but digging your nails in slightly when he goes to pull this bra strap down]

James: [deliberately pausing wherever he’s reached in his essentially full body kisses to look up at her while she gets her words out, letting her know in no uncertain terms that he feels exactly the same without having to nod or anything because his eyes are being so expressive about it and his own breathing isn’t far out how !! hers is either, saying something really poetic about how soft her skin is that could literally be a quote and she might think is because it’s that good (hence I’m not writing it cos I don’t have the talent or read enough classics haha) and comparing it to whatever the bra is made out of, ie calling it softer and better than silk or lace or whatever as he unclasps it at her back just seconds after her nails have dug into his, just peak romance things yet again nbd]

Ava: [fluttering your fingers over his eyes like you’re going to shut them because you can’t deal, giving him such heart eyes as you do though because can’t deal in the best possible way here, converting this to tracing his lips as he’s speaking, as if you can pick up his words and place them on your skin, inevitably moving your hands to grasp at your own skin, like you have never even noticed until he said it, shifting your weight so this bra can fall away like your dress]

James: [the littlest but most adorable blush spreading across his cheeks when she’s trying to shut his eyes because it’s adorable and so are the heart eyes she’s giving, giving them back so hardcore when she’s tracing his lips, unable to stop himself smiling, as if it tickles but not at all because of that, we know, shifting his weight as she does so that he’s even closer to her and they barely have a second of not being impossibly so, kissing her on the mouth like it has been a thousand years since he has]

Ava: [likewise really ramping up the intensity here, from soft finger touches to fully and passionately making out because you have to, if you keep going at this pace, you feel as if you will simply pass away from the longing because cannot get enough wrapping yourself around him fully like you are the ribbon on your present, saying his name like a question though you don’t even understand what you’re asking him with it, only pausing to be LOOKING at him this close, your breathing volleying off each others]

James: [it’ll definitely feel like the most intense makeout sesh you’ve ever had in your life sir, just really doing the most and taking the opportunity to enjoy the different position from when y’all were against the door before and how much closer you are able to get with fewer clothes in your way, in contrast, touching her so lightly, again what would feel like everywhere, with the back of his hand like how he stroked her cheek earlier but so many different curves of her body, when she pauses, taking the opportunity to whisper so many compliments in her ear, being very poetic again and very sincere because you can’t get over any of this and she deserves to know, letting his face rest against those dramatic pearls whenever he finally runs out words, just returning the LOOK and breathing against her skin]

Ava: [all of this is bringing the fact he still has his bottom half of clothing on to the forefront of your brain to the point you simply HAVE to start unbuttoning/zipping him, because the effect of his words and touch combining has you thinking you ain’t gonna last a second here because you already feel so ridiculously DEAD and you need to ensure right now immediately he’s as turned on as you]

James: [we all know he’s as turned on as her and always has been but letting her know it with no shadow of a doubt by kissing everywhere from her earlobe to jaw to neck with such !! as she’s undressing him that there are going to be marks left, shamelessly also pulling her hair because it’s down and trying to get in his way and probably also his mouth]

Ava: [the GASP we are doing, pulling him into us harder by his waistband, half like we’re telling him to behave, half the complete opposite and we want him to do more]

James: [shamelessly doing more like it’s a choreographed move with how his hips are rocking into hers again with all the !! as his hand travels to her underwear waistband, tugging at it like he GRABBED at her clothes way earlier when they were by the door but not pulling said underwear down just toying with it and her skin both over the top and under it, hand roaming absolutely everywhere again but we simply cannot call them light touches this time, especially at her hips and thighs because duh gotta keep pushing and pulling her into him as hard as that first time while we’re tracing every curve and stroking every inch of skin ever without going in and actually touching her indecently, kissing her cheek indecently again though, first one and then the other]

Ava: [instinctively spreading your legs apart from him in a way that has you SHOOK with how willingly you did, hence your face is going to be boiling again before he’s covering it in kisses, when he is, feeling as if you are chasing his mouth with your own, stealing kisses as if they in any way cover up the sounds you’re making in response to him right now, tugging at his hair again for your own throwback to the door but also it’s necessary to stay this close to him]

James: [We love every reaction she’s having whether that’s her intense af blush or the sounds or how she’s moving or her kisses and her hair pull throwback, therefore there is 0 hesitation in kissing his way down her entire body from where he was to where he can then pull down her underwear finally with his mouth, hitting every erroneous zone on his way obvs, but special attention to places he hasn’t paid much attention to yet because of their bodies being pressed that closely together like her chest and stomach, especially the latter cos here for how flat it is and the total lack of comparison to his preggo flop wife and her trapping him antics, doing the absolute most to turn her on even more at all times here, yet again ofc waxing poetic about her while he does, including what she tastes like when his mouth ends up having removed her underwear to the halfway off point like her dress was and he can really lavish that attention on her like they have all the time in the world and aren’t dying]

Ava: [James has the opposite of a pregnancy kink, the poor traumatised boy, you’re welcome she is skinny and has very petite boobies so truly could not be less like your wife atm or ever really, soz not soz Chlo, you cow bag; the audacity of you to never truly be into James when he’s this slay, what are your priorities hun, idek but ANYWAY we’ll be here with all the compliments and praise just falling out of us because how can we possibly have a filter when we’re short-circuiting here from this]

James: [the trauma is real and it’s seriously a testament to how healthy java’s relationship is and how slay Ava is and not like Chlo in all the ways that he’s able to properly heal and they get to have their own kids in future, but ANYWAY, in the here and now, this man is fully treating this like another intense makeout sesh with how he’s kissing and touching her rn because still cannot believe this is happening and therefore can’t and don’t want to rush this into being a hookup knowing we’ll never get the first time back however much her praise is killing him and making him wanna also initiate this hookup immediately, it’s continuing to be obvious that he’s dying too though because he is being so extra with everything he’s doing and whatever compliment hits hardest, whether it’s what she says or her delivery of it or both, is getting a MOAN in response, which is his first real one]

Ava: [likewise there’s no way you have ever experienced this this way or this intensely, sorry to your previous experiences but it’s just highly unlikely I’m afraid, even if these two didn’t have the instant and all-consuming chemistry, which they do, so this is everything and we’re as TORN between wanting this to continue forever and wanting him to put all this energy he is giving into fucking us just as well, hence literally whimpering with the indecision and how close we already feel]

James: [it’s no shade to anyone it’s just true, she isn’t the massive slag he was at 16 and lowkey still so she hasn’t had many experiences yet and he’s had many but so few if any like this because the chemistry and timing and everything has aligned and is so right this time, y’all are welcome even if it feels like torture to you in this moment, his response to her whimper is to do the same kind of comforting sound he did earlier when she was pouting literally into her like shh it’s okay which will only get her closer, soz not soz]

Ava: [exactly, it’s a handful of people with about the same level of experience if not less so it isn’t personal it’s just how it is; here trying to get our words out about how close we are but the inability to actually say anything cohesive or louder than a whimper says more than our words could ever, moving against what he’s doing more desperately, unable to stop ourself now]

James: [he knows but we love that she’s trying to tell us anyway and is then blatantly showing us as well, take this opportunity to keep going and give her the first orgasm you’ve ever given her because ofc you would, why would you stop yourself either sir]

Ava: [me imagining this sofa is some kind of suede/velvet so you can see the grip marks of her fingers clawing into it when she’s being killed, cinematic baby, having to shamelessly roll onto the floor with this boy so you can be on top of him and totally not squash him ‘cos you need to incapacitate him from being able to do any more and give yourself a moment to just bathe in what happened there, laying your head on his chest and watching him breathe]

James: [I totally pictured velvet too so twin brains, I think because I’m still in the titanic mindset and thus it’s more of a chaise than a sofa in my mind lol, which would be even easier for y’all to roll off, love that, be here trying and I’m sure failing to get your breathing under control boy because you’re not over what just happened either, genuinely speechless about how beautiful she looked while losing it and having to use only your eyes to express it]

Ava: [it’s very much the vibe, we know what we’re saying here, turning your face up to look at him, first because you wanna check he’s good as you did lowkey push him off the couch moment there, even though it was gentle enough and I’m sure there’s a soft rug under y’all rn, but then as you’re giving him these heart eyes you’re of course going to be overcome with how good he looks and the evidence of what just happened still lingering is gonna make you launch yourself at him with unexpected urgency because it’s hot and you have to make out immediately]

James: [when you were very gently stroking her hair off her face because it would be trying to stick to her skin after the sweat you worked her up into, lifting it off the back of her neck too with the intention to just rest your hand there for a sec maybe but then she’s launching herself at you so with hands fully tangled in her hair he’s ofc kissing her back with all the !! however unexpected because in no world is he not going with it and reciprocating when he’s as turned on as he’s always been and had no relief from that yet and she’s lowkey sitting on him atm so she knows it]

Ava: [it can never truly be soft hours when one of you is still painfully turned on and you’re so into this boy that it takes very little prompting for you to feel it again yourself, just here tasting yourself in his mouth and making OBSCENE noises about it, however muffled by how deep this kiss is, not to mention when you move in his lap, purely to kiss him more, that is hitting as hard and you have to look at him full !!]

James: [so into those noises and why we know she’s making them, say something else about how she tastes, like you’re doing a rewrite of what you said earlier because gotta be more extra and explicit when she’s looking at you like that, reaching for your trousers which would have landed on the floor somewhere after working themselves off during all your antics so you can find your wallet and the contraception you’d always keep therein you big cheater, cos not trying to get anyone pregnant least of all this 16 year old girl, find that condom and dig it out, deliberately avoiding looking at the pics of Jay and the scan pic of baby Mattie that you also keep in there because can’t let you be derailed by the fact you clearly promised yourself you wouldn’t cheat again when this 2nd pregnancy happened, it’ll help that you’re v distracted by still kissing her as much as you feasibly can while doing this] 

Ava: [letting your eyes follow his hands reaching for this condom, placing your own hand gently over his, not in a STOP manner but just pausing him ‘don’t you want me to taste you first?’ because of course we will and feel as if we should if this was reciprocal but in reality who knows how much time you have here so maybe he won’t but you haven’t allowed yourself to think about the ticking clock]

James: [doing a lil shiver which perfectly illustrates the internal dilemma you’re facing between letting her because of course you want that, you want everything, but on the other hand not knowing how much you can take when you’re this turned on rn and that if she kills you you’ll have to start all over or potentially not hookup yet if time does run out ‘What do you want?’ because you’re never allowed to make a decision so of course you’d default to letting her make it]

Ava: [converting this into holding his hand again because you don’t wanna look like you’re saying no to contraception here, or forcing him one way or the other, doing a small smile at his shiver ‘just you’ which isn’t helpful as a reply but taking the condom from his hand and going to put it on him is because that was his first instinct hence we are going with that being the right answer here and now, kissing his neck as we do this]

James: [doing a bigger shiver about it because whichever option she’d picked he’d be overwhelmed by cos that’s the mood we’re in and how !! we are but clearly that was your first instinct and what you do think the right call is for this moment and the amount of time y’all have or you wouldn’t have done it so, happy to go with it obvs, hence you get a noise as well, because the relief to finally be naked when he’s been in his underwear this whole time if nothing else]

Ava: [‘Fuck, James’ with all the feeling, as if how turned on and how painfully so you are only registered with us in this moment because kinda, soz you were letting us be selfish af with how slay that was, the biggest compliment we could give you without intending to ‘I want this’ as if you’re amending your previous statement because must let you know how quickly and intensely our own pressure is building back up here, once you’ve got the condom on and you’re sure of it, lying back down on this rug because you want him to look at you how he does and be the one in control, shamelessly]

James: [saying her name practically as a GASP in response as if he’s so scandalised by hearing her swear for the first time lol but we all know it’s not that and he is in fact just dying because truly couldn’t be more turned on or want her more, can literally only nod like I want this too because what are words atm, it goes without saying he’s STARING at her even more intensely than when he took her dress off but I’d like it noted that even though he also wants to be in control and will, he is still thinking of her and being slay with how this hookup is being initiated because all too aware that however experienced or inexperienced she is or isn’t it’s unlikely that she’s been with someone who’s as well endowed as him, which he’s gotta be with how tall he is, I’m soz that’s just factual, and however turned on she may be, he could still hurt her and clearly doesn’t want to, so despite how desperate we are, being careful and taking it slow, he’s that sort of bear]

Ava: [my boo says he’s packing and she’s so right for that lmao, and as much as you think you wanna go feral, you also would not want to be hurt so his consideration is noted and appreciated, even if it would in some small way make you feel inexperienced, not in a mortifying way or one you cannot get over because, like my boo said, this is unavoidable until you’ve worked out the position and rhythm that works for y’all both here, ‘consoling’ yourself by kissing him, so you can put all this !! energy into that whilst you have to be chill here, also letting him hear all the sounds you make by being this close so he knows where you’re at comfort-wise]

James: [we have to give him that because not only is it realistic but if he was that tall but had an awkwardly small dick Chlo would shout it from the rooftops and everybody would know and it’d make his life even less worth living, we can’t do it to him, the boy has suffered enough, even if size isn’t everything, she’s not having that win thank you, and don’t worry girl he will find a position and rhythm that works very quickly and then he can let himself go more like you both need without hurting you physically in not holding back or your ego in having to, this isn’t gonna be an awkward first time, I’m sure James has had more than his fair share of those already]

Ava: [oh absolutely, she’s always been that sort of gal and still would be so hell no, the only thing you’ve got is you mentally abused him into being who and what you needed and that makes you look worse than you ever could him so bye, bitch; and likewise as this starts to hit just right you will naturally move against him more yourself, so you’re both in control of how this is going and you don’t feel like you’re flopping here because no, not the mood, we’re so into this]

James: [I’m so glad James and Chlo rarely hook up because it truly gives me the ick to think about, can’t wait for her to flop again when the twins dad leaves her, couldn’t be more deserved, meanwhile java are having the best time and nobody is flopping, far from it]

Ava: [no one deserves to be alone more than you, ma’am and we owe you nothing, you and that dude last for a long enough time and it makes our overall story better because Tancy, you are not so ha ha not sorry; also no one is thinking about you right now, I grant you we unavoidably will be at points as is how cheating goes but right now nothing else and no one else is relevant to this girl right here]

James: [literally, that unholy union lasts ages and him leaving you for a younger hotter version of you is what you need sis, and right now even if you were continuously blowing James’ phone up he would neither notice nor care, we’re too busy experiencing peak romance, excuse us]

Ava: [idk how you aren’t humbled already but clearly that one man actually being done with your shit is the kick up the arse you always needed, coming entirely too late but there we are; here and now, trying to describe how this feels to him but that getting to you to the point you cannot so you have to promise to tell him later]

James: [I am gonna need Chlo trying to proposition Teddy when said hubby leaves because he’s a mess and she thinks it’s a sure thing/they’ve always flirted for his amusement but never gone there and him v cruelly rejecting her because he never would actually go there, cos again deserved but that’s neither here or there rn, rn James is likewise promising to write Ava whole chapters about this]

Ava: [makes note of that for the sugarbaby timeline, for sure; ‘I don’t know if either of us could get through that’ because imagining how turned on he’d get reliving to write it and how we would reliving and reading, illustrating this point by making a torturously slow circle with our hips, holding back the movements he was making with both our hands on his waist]

James: [he’ll 1000% be flirting with Chlo at this baby shower but he just enjoys how cray she is, he’d never fancy her on a good day and especially not when she’s preggo and flopping, the same way he fancies Ava and has been trying to get with her from whenever she was single but not really because she’s far too sensible for him, oh Teddy ILY sir ‘I told you I’d gladly suffer’ because he did say that earlier, illustrating his point by letting her torture him with her antics and giving her briefest and softest peck on the lips]

Ava: [looking for that perfect middle ground, clearly lol; here pouting again like you’re not the one making him ‘suffer’ and very much could stop and let him go again but you haven’t yet, pouting your frankly obscene lips into this soft kiss in the most tempting way you possibly could]

James: [mhmm, and it’s Nancy, they’re fated as evidenced by both of them wearing blue cos their minds work the exact same way, here saying ‘oh darling’ into this kiss like we sincerely feel so sorry for her as if she isn’t doing this to us and to herself lol]

Ava: [we all know this but y’all don’t fully yet because but a child here and she’s too busy living her Uni best life whilst not actually going herself lmao; ‘you’re so nice’ almost disbelievingly at the levels, hence being nice ourself and letting go, moving our arms around his neck to pull him back closer so the pace can be picked up again, moaning into the makeout you also begin]

James: [do the most to show her how nice you think she is with all your makeout and sexy antics including manoeuvring y’all into a handhold that lasts the longest one has yet, no notes]

Ava: [definitely going to be holding hands when you both cum, peak romance]

James: [mhmm, they gotta, it’s so important]

Ava: [you are SO welcome that no one is home or is going to suddenly appear to be home so you two can just be here dead in the hallway]

James: [absolutely, they are both gonna need a sec to try and recover from that, he’ll be here blatantly shooketh at how good that was and making no attempt to hide the fact he can’t get over it]

Ava: [at least y’all can actually lay here and have this moment, the rush isn’t such a rush that that’s an impossibility, just be here looking at him again like you can’t believe he’s real, stroking his cheek]

James: [no eventually he’ll have to get up and clean himself up and sort his shit out and make moves etc but that is not yet, yet again move her hair for her, pushing it over her shoulder this time once you’ve stroked it out of her face so you can lean your head into her and snuggle into the crook of her neck for a moment, doing your trying to calm down slightly breaths into her skin]

Ava: [just cuddling like you’ve known each other forever, which always feels bizarrely more intimate than everything else you’ve just done that is arguably more so but we’re not uncomfortable at all either way ‘sorry we didn’t make it to my room’ with a little smile, like whoops because no way was that happening]

James: [‘you’ll have reason to invite me back’ like a room tour is the only reason she’d wanna see him again, because he is sassy and he has bants despite Chlo’s best efforts]

Ava: [doing a little lol to match like oh thank goodness because I was searching for one there ‘and will you?’ the slight edge of nervousness in our voice because he could turn ‘round right this second and regret this, or tomorrow morning, you can’t guarantee not]

James: [lifting his head to give her heart eyes about that lol, can’t help but do that ‘will you have me?’ as if it’s entirely her decision because to him it feels like it is, he truly can’t believe his luck that this happened once because from his POV he’s a flop and she’s incredible, the same nerves in his voice, literal hesitation to say it which isn’t just his breathing still being slightly erratic, we know]

Ava: [nodding excitedly, trying not to start giggling again because can’t be doing all that but it is how we feel over him not immediately writing this off as a mistake or a one-time thing, which we had to accept as possibilities as he’s the one in a relationship here, one we’re not pretending to know the ins and outs of, even if everyone knows Chlo and knows what she’s like to some extent ‘I told you, I’m yours’ trying to say that casually like you’re just being tongue in cheek and aren’t very serious about only being interested in seeing him right now]

James: [her obvious excitement making him smile but it’s a little one not a wild one because we’re still scared to be too much when we’re in this immediate of the aftermath thinking we’ll freak her out by coming on far too strongly, that said, her next words aren’t at all casual and his heart feels like it’s stuck in his throat or going to beat out of his chest and he can’t stop himself from wrapping his arms around her and giving her the most dramatic hug, literally breathing her in and then saying something v poetic about what she smells like]

Ava: [making the sort of contented noises you do when you have a proper bear hug, squeezing him back with the matching energy, doing little kisses on whatever skin you can reach from within this hug, leaving your lips lingering as he speaks, breathing more rapidly because he just gets you ‘you’ll turn me on again’ giving this skin a playful nip, not enough to leave any mark, of course]

James: [picking her up and laying her down on this sofa like they’re gonna go for round 2 because in an ideal world they would, but obvs they can’t because time and real life is a bastard, so he’s just standing over her, taking in the sight of her lying there, trying to commit it all to memory]

Ava: [you can hear the heart eyes in her laughter, before you can literally see them as we’re attempting to maintain eye contact as you look at us, even if we inevitably have to look away blushing ‘this was-’ genuinely stopping, trying to search for a word or words even that would adequately describe how you feel about this experience but you cannot so just shaking your head with a lil smile ‘you know’ because we think/very much hope it continued to be a moment for you too, slowly getting up from this couch to kiss his cheek on tiptoes ‘thank you’]

James: [‘yes’ because we hard agree both that it was indescribable and that we’re on the same page as her about it, holding both her hands while she kisses his cheek, giving them a squeeze as she thanks him like no thank you, looking down at her from this height diff ‘happy birthday, Ava’ with all the feeling in the world because we’d love to say so much more than that but we’re trying to have some chill]

Ava: [when a big part of you wants to cry but it is purely in that sentimental way and you can thankfully blink it off, giving him those glistening almost wet eyes back with a smile, nodding because you can’t say thank you again and anything else you could say is likewise too much or so you think, so after a while, just here holding hands, saying ‘I’ll walk you out’ like you aren’t naked lol, ‘to the door’ as a correction because yeah, best not go out on the street like this 😏]

James: [watch her blink back tears and look at you like she is before kissing her under each eye, like you would each cheek if you were doing a goodbye moment, that soft and brief kind of little kiss, a small sigh escaping because he doesn’t wanna leave on any level and he can’t even pretend that isn’t blatant ‘will you close them for me instead?’ like he can just sneak out that way and it’ll suddenly make it easy rather than ridiculously difficult]

Ava: [doing your own suppressed gasp/sigh because the idea is just as unappealing to you but you nod ‘I can try for you’ and demonstrating as much, even though you’re holding one of his hands so he can’t just leave]

James: [catch him keeping hold of her hand while he reaches for/kicks toward him/whatever moves are necessary to gather his clothes to him without letting go because simply will not, hurrying into them as best he can one handed and then kissing her, with the intention of it being a similar soft and brief one of the lips like he did under her eyes while her eyes are still closed, but ofc it immediately turns into more of a still soft but very !! and dramatic kiss]

Ava: [the accidental tension created for you, because you’re serious about keeping your eyes closed so you don’t exactly know what he’s doing though obviously you have a rough idea but you’re not sure how dressed he is, how ready to leave, just here with your heart pounding casually but trying to act like it’s all okay, only letting his hand go, finally, to cup his face because you need to make this kiss a proper goodbye one and thus putting your all into it is not optional, if you don’t want to stay even more then we’re doing it wrong]

James: [I imagine you’re pretty dressed because having a baby means you’ve gotten good at doing things one handed whilst holding her with your other, as dressed as you can be anyway given your top and jacket are downstairs, here topless having the most romantic goodbye kiss of all time nbd, picking her up like he can just carry her away with him because we so wish]

Ava: [mhmm, and we can let you both get downstairs unscathed whilst barely breaking your kiss because it’s a must and he’s a father, he can multitask, not at all casually getting more insistent and extra the closer to this door you know you are]

James: [what an absolute mood, and yes, catch him hardcore making out with her against the door again, a full circle moment here because we can’t and won’t stop, just desperately kissing her like his heart is gonna shatter into a million pieces the second they aren’t]

Ava: [at first we’re holding back all the dramatic and lovelorn things we want to say in this moment, you can tell by the !! pauses where something should absolutely be, as well as the blatant noises of frustration of doing so, before we land on really quietly whispering ‘you’ll be back, you’ll come back’ over and over, for our benefit or yours, it’s unclear but it is both, honestly]

James: [likewise stopping himself from running his mouth because we don’t wanna be that bitch to make and then have to immediately break a promise and the struggle is clearly as real for him to the point where he’s having to keep kissing her with no pauses even for breath, to the point where they feel like they’re gonna fall through this door onto the street]

Ava: [the way we’d so happily let that happen right now, the only fucks we have left to give are being channelled into us still having our eyes shut even though we SO badly will have wanted to open them by now]

James: [the only reason they aren’t hooking up against this door right here and right now are the clothes he has struggled on and thank god because you would not be being safe and you don’t need that freakout sir, they so nearly are though because there is no chill and no fucks to be given from him either]

Ava: [the freakout would not be the one, even though this girl is absolutely on contraception, you do not know that nor trust that yet because your trauma, though, of course, it is as obvious that you are there too, arguably more so because you’re not dressed, just saying his name in the most pleading way even though what you’re actually asking for is not clear]

James: [letting this happen because those few clothes are a barrier to her getting impregnated but not either of you eventually cumming and there’s absolutely no reason why you can’t and shouldn’t do that when you’re being this highkey, he doesn’t have far to travel to go home, get in the shower when you are boy and it’s fine]

Ava: [it’s not like Chlo cares nor is particularly observant when she decides to, plus she’ll be asleep for hours, only you waking up when Jay does in the AM, so y’all have this, gonna have to have you cinematically open your eyes right as you cum, of course, just necessary]

James: [exactly, we can and we will, they’re already being robbed of him staying longer, this and how hot and cinematic it is is the very least they deserve, ofc he’s gotta say her name when he do because he didn’t say it back when she said it that dramatically before]

Ava: [y’all deserve it and it is everything you needed it to be, no notes]

James: [sadly you then have gotta put her down and put your top and jacket on so you can actually be ready to leave however much you don’t want to, but you’re welcome that you’re a man so you can walk without being raped and murdered and it’ll give you the time to think that you’d want]

Ava: [you can finally get out of his way and go find a blanket on the sofa to wrap yourself in and then sit down so you’re not just there being tempting when you know at some point he really does have to go, you can’t delay it forever]

James: [and you can finally open his present when he leaves gal cos you never did, that’s fun, keep the peak romance going by staying up and reading it if you want]

Ava: [definitely what is occurring, it’s clearly still the weekend in the AM so you have no reason not to and there’s nothing else you want to do besides see him again, which you have NO idea when that is so, find that present and get it unwrapped and get reading, wondering should we post this bit, then we can have her message him, which she will, but then we can do a Teddy convo in the middle just for our own amusement?]

James: [I think we should post this bit yeah because it’s a good stopping point for now, she’s got her reading to do and he’ll probably be writing (after he’s showered and those practical tasks) until Jay wakes up early how little kids inevitably do even at the weekend and then he’ll be taking care of her, so it tracks we’ll have time to do a Teddy convo and her bestie too if we want before James gets back to her]

Ava: [exactly dr phil]

[jeongjaebae]

UGH SUNWOO IN THAT RACER OUTFIT. don’t even get me started i went very very insane when i saw that stage 😭 not to mention that recent i like you dance stage with ateez UGH they were soooo cute and like . i know i am very sunwoo brained but i genuinely stopped breathing when cobie showed up in that funky little hat and his funky little glasses he’s soooo ……not to mention juyeon’s teddy bear backpack and changmin and his pochacco slay with that hat NDBSKFK the fancams for that stage made me inconsolable 😭 apparently when they talked to their stylists for the concept they wanted a “nerdy-loser” look WHICH IS SO HENKFWK that’s cat-coded ….they did it for Me…….

and i did. i Did hear about the sexy concept next comeback which …..i already have one foot in the grave just hearing about it how am i going to survive 😭😭😭 and personally !! ok as much as i loooove darker concepts i kind of want them to have a sort of ….not high-teen concept but sort of like . love me right by exo? like that sporty funky concept! i feel like it would be super fun and tbz are already lowkey sm’s stepsons so HAHA it’s not too much of a shot in the dark :’) like they sort of did it with giddy up but i’d love a more mature take on that concept now that they’re all grown up! i’d also love if they could do another ultra specific concept like they did with battle royale in maverick! what about you, are there any concepts you want them to do again?? and yeah the whole plagiarizing thing was so ….. 😬 like they just handled it badly all around wjfjwkfkwk but at the end of the day it wasn’t even eric’s fault :( he just bought the beat from the producer and while i wish they didn’t sweep the issue under the rug and pretend like nothing happened i also think he doesn’t deserve the heat he was getting from bap fans cause it’s like …there’s nothing he can do about it :”) ahh idk its just a really bad situation to be in.

also soonyoung’s disney princess moment??? no bc the way i would check instagram after a few minutes and he would just keep uploading NEW bird content like? at that point that bird is his….he should have taken it home with him 😭 i haven’t thought of my svt bias line in a long time but i think it’s currently soonyoung jihoon mingyu wonwoo?? with a special mention to cheol whenever he posts boyfriend pics. i am not immune. the way you like members who get bullied LMAO honestly i’m kind of the same?? i mean i bias doyoung and haechan who…. well doyoung is one step away from going crazy with 127 while haechan is maknae on top with 127 but when he’s with the dreamies he gets a taste of his own medicine so BDJAJFJDK not to mention mingyu fighting for his life every single day 😭 “why have a dish when you can have a buffet” LMAOOOO i’m going to use that from now on HAHAH i’m like ….Known to be a resident homie hopper no matter what group i stan

and the sunwoo fic ! funnily enough it was originally a txt yeonjun fic before becoming a hoshi fic to now becoming a sunwoo fic but its like NFBSNFK i think sunwoo is truly this fic’s final form 😭 like everything clicked into place after i transferred this fic to him so hopefully i can actually….finish writing it LOL but the basic premise of it is an exes-to-lovers fic set in idolverse! but it’s kinda like… the fic itself is more “exes” than it is “to-lovers” NDBWJFK but the first scene is yn breaking up with sunwoo, and the rest of the fic details what happens after (and before) that. so it sort of jumps between the past and present to fit in the puzzle pieces of their entire relationship and how it eventually rekindles at the end, but the entire fic carries the sentiment of there being a certain “gravity” between yn and sunwoo, like how gravity is both the reason why a planet circles a star and why they can never fall into one another again,,,, until it does. or something like that HAHA i’m kind of bad at explaining but that’s the general idea!

i hope 2023 treats you well! i’ve also been happier after talking and interacting with you 🥹🫂

a nerdy loser look omg HAHA they did it for you!! it was like total whiplash getting the racer outfits and then the cute ones and like?? they had some outfits for their whisper stages that totally did not fit whisper's concept LOL. although i can't say i was looking at tbz much during the collab stage when choi san was Right There BUT the performance was cute and i was just glad we got some post kingdom interactions :') but omg are all the tbz members your bias wreckers at this point?

OH OKAY WAIT. speaking of exo and tbz HAVE YOU SEEN TBZ'S COVER OF LOVE ME RIGHT???? and call me baby??!?! chanhee sounded so much like baekhyun doing the high notes of LMR and hyunjae has always given me such a baekhyun vibe esp in that call me baby cover SO YEAH sm's step sons indeed!! (also special mention to the four jaehyuns collab of call me baby LOL) and yeahh the battle royale theme was pretty cool but i kinda wish they went a bit deeper into the concept :') i also enjoy the dark concepts!! love love loved drink it (it's my #1 tbz song!!) and i wish that was an Actual Comeback but i guess it's similar to what they did with reveal! i wouldn't mind if they fully went into the vixx level of dark ahaha or something svt's fear... i wouldn't survive it. but if they do pull through with the wings of desire / red string of fate concept for the feb comeback that'd be so so cool 🤞 manifesting it!!

ikr i can't believe a bird just freely did that like... it's not afraid of humans??? wild. hoshi??? also wild. that probs fed into his tiger agenda for years like woOOow he can communicate with animals HAHA. omg it sounds like you bias both ends of the spectrum though... the instigator and the person on the receiving end of the bullying LMAOO. i totally feel you on the homie hopper-ness like i practically do the bias sorter every month and it'll have shuffled around slightly, my buffet is on a rotational bias like a lazy susan :') do fics (reading or writing them) ever influence your bias ranking? or is it more like whoever posts cute pics at the time? bc i see you with those recent bf seungcheol perm pics 👀

and whaaat no way you're turning a yeonjun/hoshi fic into a sunwoo fic... bc i was thinking of writing a hoshi version of one of my sunwoo fics!! and my sunwoo christmas fic was originally written for hoshi too (which... you'll see on my newly exposed svt blog ahaha). guess we all see them as the hot but actually a loser type of character LOL. but ahhh your fic sounds good already, the exes part sounds like it'll be quite angsty but i love that kind of concept! and it sounds like a good opportunity for pretty descriptions and exploring relationship dynamics. ooh are there any tropes or particular things in fics that you like to read/write? ahh anyway i hope your winter break is going well and that find the motivation you need to continue whatever you're working on atm!! 💫

[hdsudsfest]

HD Sudsfest Week One

It’s the first sudsy Sunday of November and you know what that means—our first weekly round up of 2022! Here at Suds HQ we have been absolutely blown away by the fantastic creations submitted. So if you haven’t had the chance to dip your toe into this year’s offerings, now’s your moment to jump in, the water’s fine! 🧼

[FIC] Under Giant Mountains by @wolfpants { E | 33.7k }

Harry doesn't know where he's going. Everyone else has their life paths figured out; he doesn't even know where his map is. Who'd have thought Draco Malfoy bathing in a Norwegian forest would be the guidepost Harry needed? In which Harry's trip to Norway to visit dragon-wrangler Ron introduces him to hikes from hell, mysterious natural magic, foraging, magical bathing, a new and bizarre friendship, and the frustrating, heady allure of his former nemesis turned sexy globetrotting field researcher.

❤️ "this is so evocatively written; both the claustrophobia of grimmauld and the expanse of Norway, what amazing contrasts. I want to read this slowly to appreciate the gorgeous details!!! But I know I shall fail!!!" —citrusses

❤️ "God, I can’t even say how much I enjoyed following Harry’s journey throughout this. It was beautiful to see him finding his way, with help and on his own." —virgosun

[ART] Not Again by @caroll-in { M | Digital Comic }

Not allowed a wand and being on house arrest in Malfoy Manor which magic is acting up and won't provide any tap water is a challenge but Draco makes it work. He takes advantage of the summer weather and resorts to bathing in the small stream running through the estate. Everything would be peachy if only his parole Auror would stop timing his monthly probation visits while Draco is en déshabillé.

❤️ "I am WRIGGLING with joy. I love it! Draco's rosy little butt! And Harry's little peekaboo action! And their happy little faces in the last panel! And the scenery is gorgeous." —acari

❤️ "AHHHHHHH!!! OMG OMG OMG!! This is perfect 😭😭😭 you always slay me. I love it so much. Thank you for creating and sharing and giving us something so amazing." —nv-md

[FIC] The Re-Fenestration of Potter by @cavendishbutterfly and @sorrybutblog { E | 7.5k }

Harry wants the Prophet reporters to stop following him and Draco wants Harry to stop climbing through his window at all hours of the night…even if he’s taken to leaving it open, just in case. Everything is bearable until they both get doused with Draco’s latest batch of Wolfsbane, and then suddenly nothing between the two of them is bearable at all.

❤️ "Omg! This is wonderful! So hot and tender and lovely! And the ending. I was squealing in glee for them!" —melrilielen

❤️ "Wolfy Draco is my favourite Draco. Fun, fun, fun, and a perfect pick me up on a gloomy November evening ❤️" —oriberry

[FIC] After sunlit days, one thing stays the same by flightinflame { T | 2k }

Harry wakes up sore after a full moon. Luckily, Draco is beside him, and knows how to handle it.

❤️ "This was so so so incredibly lovely, you managed to fit into a short scene of intimacy so many unspoken words and feelings, I almost felt like I wasn’t supposed to have this glimpse into their lives because it was so private, so sweet. Great job 💜💜💜" —artcele

❤️ "This was absolutely amazing…it really feels like love - REAL love. And that can be tough to manage, especially in a fantasy setting." —coffee-scribbles

[ART] Rubber Drakey by @crazybutgood { T | Origami Comic }

Harry just wanted to indulge Teddy with a bath toy in the tub. Instead, his evening turns out to be filled with lots of bubbles, a frantic phone call, and an angry duck in a bucket.

❤️ "I adore rubber duck!draco with my whole beating heart. I want to squish him (gently) so much asdghjkl. Hope Harry at least got a few “accidental” squeezes in the process😂 Your origami art comic concept blew my mind btw, you have such a creative soul." —vivantesopales

❤️ "This is so gorgeous!!! Cbg your art is so amazing! I love all of this so much! And it's such a cute story hahahaha ducky draco!!!!! 💜 thanks so much for sharing this wonderful art with us! Love your origami so much. 😍" —teacup-tai

[FIC] The Art of the Bath by brit_girl /@drarrysworlds { M | 23k }

As Draco’s housemate, Harry thought him falling asleep in the bath just once after a long shift at St Mungo’s was once too many. Obviously, the best thing for Harry to do was to keep him company, even if it was at odd, post-Healer-shift hours. What could he say? He was nothing if not a good friend.

❤️ "I'm screaming. This was too perfect and too sweet and just exactly what I needed. This is EXACTLY how I see them, I couldn't have written them better myself. God, just all the feels happening here. If I could leave a million Kudos I would."—VictorieintheSmallThings

❤️ "so frickin sweet! and written absolutely beautifully 💛💛" —pansysimp

[FIC] Meet Me in the Daylight by @krethes { E | 6k }

The war has been over for more than twenty years, but despite becoming Head Healer at St Mungo's, the shadows of Draco's past remain in the memories of his contemporaries. A horrible confrontation at the hospital sends Draco right back into his old inner demons, but Harry is there to ward them away and remind Draco that he's not the boy he once was. 

❤️ obsessed with your drarry and with you and this was amazing and you’re amazing. also apple tart having nothing on *this* tart? snorted out loud hahah —keysie

❤️ "I saw Krethes in my inbox, and I was excited, as usual. THEN I saw that it was DRARRY and I RAN here to read this absolute gem of a fic. Bravo bravo bravo SO enjoyable, thank you for sharing this with us!!! ♥️♥️♥️" —booktopus

[FIC] Baby, Kiss It Better by @fuckboyregulus { E | 8k }

Harry has been avoiding his team’s athletic healer for five years now, but a broken ankle requires him to ask for help from his former boarding school enemy, Draco. Has Draco changed? Have Harry’s feelings about him?

❤️"Harry radiating pain under Draco's spell hurts my heart. So stubborn. Love the idea of the bubble ice bath with added rubber ducky. It's too cute. I was all 👀👀👀 at the description of Harry's tattoos and piercings. Very nice! Welcome to the wonderful world of Drarry!" —acari

❤️"What a fantastic ending to a sizzling fic! I loved this! And congrats on your first Drarry! Welcome! Suds is a wonderful way to get an introduction. It's lovely to have you, and I hope you write more of them! Lovely job with this! <3" —lqtraintracks

[ART] 1000 Kisses Deep by @getawayfox { T | Digital Art }

Harry keeps visiting Draco’s soap shop, trying – and failing – to ask him out for dinner. A few fruitless weeks and unnecessary amounts of soap purchases later, Harry finally gets the courage to say the words. Of course, with his luck, something entirely else slips out. Fortunately, Draco doesn’t seem to mind.

❤️ "In love with this world you created here. Gorgeous. My heart is so full, it's just… beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing your gift with us 💖💖" —rockingrobin69

❤️ "I absolutely adore this!! 🥺🥰 I couldn’t have imagined it any better!! Thank you for creating this wonderful art!! 💕" —cluelesspigeons

[FIC] Phoenix in the Fire by @lqtraintracks { E | 28k }

Harry never expected to have a hot summer fling with Draco Malfoy when he agreed to mind the castle with him. He also never expected that it would all have to end on August thirty-first. What happens when casual sex with Harry’s ex-enemy turns not casual after all? And how the hell is he going to stop Draco from making one of the biggest mistakes of his life?

❤️ "I love everything about this fic! Long hair desi harry and tattoos draco are a couple of my favorite things in general. The story was hot, sweet, and heartbreaking, and then so happy. The conflicting emotions fro.Draco, the desperation, it was all so well written and I may have shed a few tears. Thank you for sharing!!" —sunflowergirl28

❤️ "This fic was sweet and fun and lovely and I love Draco’s tattoos. Also this Harry like 🔥🔥🔥 damn. Thank you thank you!!!" —embrichard

Enjoy these incredible works in our Sudsfest 2022 Collection on Ao3!

weekly roundup header art by fictional, do not repost

[realhousewives-fan]

The Sparkling Taglines of Beverly Hills

Better late than never. I love that they’re all dressed in red in their opening scene, and I think it’s because of the finale last season where they celebrated the Chinese New Year.

The color red brings good luck into the new year, so I thought either the women or the Bravo producers organized that.

Did they know that they needed good luck this season? Or was it just to celebrate it? It was just an interesting detail for me.

1) Crystal Kung Minkoff

Crystal has my favorite tagline this season. I loved her tagline. 

I don’t want her to get the baton from Kyle Richards of having taglines about “this town” or “in Beverly Hills” though. In season 11 her tagline was:

“Hollywood is full of pretenders, and I slay them all.”

But I like her taglines! I really do, I can’t help it.

But if you think about her season, it’s strange that her tagline talks about how “talk can cost you” when she alluded to Sutton Stracke saying something extremely damaging this season. 

It actually backfired on her, which makes this a self-dig, in a way.

But is it rather a dig at Erika Girardi? They had an argument where Erika refused to show empathy for the victims, which frustrated her.

No matter who or what Crystal had in mind for this tagline, I think it stands excellent on its own.

2) Garcelle Beauvais

At this point I might just genuinely love Garcelle and everything she says or does. This one is short and simple, but I like that statement from her.

I think it has something to do with Dorit Kemsley’s dig at her at the reunion where she accused Garcelle of doing things just to stay relevant.

“I don’t need the spotlight – I shine just fine.”

3) Sutton Stracke

Sutton is delightfully shady. I knew I loved her from the moment she mocked Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave’s outfit. 

Her tagline in season 11 was a mouthful, but it was true to her snobbiness.

With this tagline she plays with her feud with Lisa Rinna about the Elton John charity tickets, and I love her for it! This is how you do taglines!

4) Erika Girardi

This is controversial to me, that I like Erika’s tagline. It’s like an extension of her threat to Sutton in season 11. I think I like it, because it’s honest.

She also terrifies the hell out of me with this statement, and I can only imagine how the other women must feel about her.

I know that Kyle is afraid of her. I don’t know it for a fact, I just know that it’s true. 

But yeah, Erika is selfish, self-righteous, delusional and a bully. And I’ve no doubt that she’s dangerous too.

5) Lisa Rinna

Next up is Rinna… We’re midway of the list right now and this is where things are starting to decline for me.

“Hi, I’m Karma – and yes, I am a bitch.”

I didn’t really like it from the beginning, as Rinna’s bitchiness has gotten tiresome to me. 

But Rinna has been in rare form this season. Unreasonably bitchy!

It’s understandable that she’s struggling with the death of her mother but do to others as you want others to do to you. 

And it seems like Karma is sadly giving Rinna what she deserves right now.

6) Kyle Richards

Now, I can appreciate that Kyle has taken a break from talking about “Beverly Hills” and “this town”, but if she’s going to proclaim to be “the real deal”, then I’ll rather have another tired and recycled tagline from her. 

Is Kyle trying to make me believe that she’s not a pretender? Please… This one is laughable to me.

7) Dorit Kemsley

Dorit has had a tough season as she experienced a terrifying home invasion, and she alludes to that robbery in her tagline. 

But I’m sorry, I have to call bullshit on that one. Dorit is a materialistic girl, a fashionista. 

I understand that her things mean nothing compared to her family, but she cares about nice things. Let’s get real.

8) Diana Jenkins

Speaking of having nice things… I disliked this tagline from the moment I heard it. 

It’s the kind of nonsense that Dorit once had, and even Taylor Armstrong! Like this isn’t even original! Taylor’s said:

“It may look like I have it all – but I want more…”

They’re close to identical, and I didn’t like those either. We’re now at the bottom of the barrel and scrapping for relevance. 

Diana was a flop, and her tagline just proves what kind of mediocre nonsense we get with her.

[gideonloser]

Chapter five: The night's just begun

Once the stress of the cow monster trying to fight was over, the three found themselves in a pickle. Ash hopped down from the car and Farrah was able to get to her feet without help and seemed more or less steady, but then they were three kids, on the side of a road through a forest, next to a stolen and wrecked BMW, and a cow patterned pelt. The pelt was easy enough to deal with- Ash explained to Teddy that some monsters left behind trophies for the heroes that slayed them. She thought he should take it, as it was his quest, but he and Farrah both agreed it was hers, as she shot the Hail Mary that saved the day. Perhaps under different circumstances she would have argued more, but instead she just shoved it into her backpack and turned her attention back to the problems that weren’t so easily solved.

It was a quiet road, but someone was still bound to come by eventually and the three agreed it was best that they not be there when they do. A compass Farrah produced from her bag told them which way was West, and they started walking. That part seemed a little stupid to Teddy, as they weren’t exactly going to walk all the way to Salt Lake, but he didn’t object as he didn’t have a better plan. Eventually they found a place that was deemed far enough away from the crash to be non-suspicious- even if investigators did find them, Farrah would undoubtedly be able to come up with some kind of bluff that would explain why three teenagers were out in the middle of nowhere, and deny hearing or seeing anything about the crash, and at the distance they were, it would (hopefully) be believable.

After all the excitement, Teddy would have been perfectly happy to just flop down on his sleeping bag and sleep for days, but Ash insisted they all needed food first, and he couldn’t deny that a warm fire did sound nice. While Farrah sorted out what they could prepare with the skills they had, Ash insisted Teddy make the fire. She said since Apollo was the god of light and fire created light, he could have a special bonus there. Still, try as he might and with Ash right over his shoulder walking him through it, he couldn’t do it. When Farrah declared they could do hot dogs and had everything all ready but he still didn’t even have so much as a spark, he threw it all down in frustration and yielded to Ash.

As he watched her make the fire (which she got quickly, because of course she did), it occurred to him that he really didn’t know very much about her. As her face lit up dimly in the sparks, he thought about how he didn’t even know where she called home when she wasn’t at camp. This girl called herself his sister, and was willing to put her life on the line for his quest without even being asked. Once she sat back, satisfied with the blaze, and Farrah had distributed the hot dogs, he asked.

"Ash, what is your real life like?"

She turned to him and quirked an eyebrow.

"My what?"

He made a face at himself when he realized he had worded it a bit weirdly, and took the time in his head to make sure his internal translation wasn't lagging, as he sought a better way to word it.

"Like, where do you go when you're not at camp? What's your human family like?"

"I go to my mother's in Los Angeles. She, her husband, and my stepsister Zoe all live there. I do not have any half siblings on that side, though I do have one full sister, Q."

There was a lot to unpack there. First was that she had a full sibling, did Apollo like her mom so much that he came back? Second was that any full sibling of hers was also a half sibling of his, but he had never even heard of this Q, or seen her around camp. Third was the name Q. Was that supposed to be, like, Queue, or was it a nickname? And if it was a nickname, what was it short for? Quin, maybe?

He wasn't sure where to start with all his thoughts, but luckily Farrah seemed to sense his confusion and jumped in.

"Tell him more about Q."

"Q is my twin sister. It's short for Queenie. She joined the Hunters of Artemis a few years ago."

Farrah nodded along as she spoke, evidentially already knowing the story, but meanwhile Teddy was a little lost.

"The what?"

"They're an asexual immortal girl gang." Farrah answered in a helpful tone, but Ash shot her a glance warning her that it was not helpful, and Ash knew damn well that Farrah was aware of it when she said it.

"You know who Artemis is, right?"

"Apollo's twin sister. Goddess of..." That gave him a moment of pause. What exactly was she the goddess of, after all? He was still so new to all of this, and trying to keep everyone straight was hard. "...The moon?"

"Yes, among other things. Including the hunt and chastity." Ash started her answers quickly, almost as soon as Teddy finished speaking- probably just to cut off Farrah before she could contribute any more technically true but confusing nonsense. "So she has all these attendants- girls who pledge to serve her and to forsake the company of men, and in return Artemis makes them immortal. The only way they can die is being struck down in battle. Those are the Hunters."

"And Queenie is one?"

"Queenie is one." Ash confirmed. She suddenly busied herself with her hot dog, and what part of his face he could see while she did seemed sad.

"Do you ever get to see her?" He wasn't sure why he kept asking, especially since he could tell it was a sore spot, but she kept answering.

"Yes. Occasionally the Hunters visit camp, and we do try to Iris message once a month or so." She said, somewhat sadly. "It's just... weird. I mean, I keep aging but she doesn't. And for so long, she was always right by my side, and now she's just... gone."

Teddy went quiet. He understood that, probably more than anyone thought he did. His thoughts turned to his own private grief, which Farrah picked up on. In response, she did something very impulsively, that was also strangely selfless: she threw out her own pain that she had been carefully hiding for all to see, to distract him from his own.

"Ashley," She announced, shifting her body to fully face Ash, but still keeping an eye on Teddy out of the corner of her eye. "I think it's time we talk about Luke."

Teddy didn't need to know who Luke was to know whatever this was was bad news. The temperature seemed to drop and Ash sat up straight, raising her chin and looking at Farrah evenly. She crossed her arms, a gesture that Farrah mirrored, but when Farrah did it, it looked petulant and childish. When Ash did it, she held herself with an air of nobility and carried herself confidently.

"My name isn't Ashley, but okay. Let's talk about Luke."

"Who's Luke?" Teddy asked, hoping it would break the thick tension that had settled, but the girls didn't even break their eye contact.

"Why don't you answer that?" Farrah asked, feigning politeness. "He's your boyfriend."

"He was my boyfriend." She replied, stressing the past tense. "He is your brother."

"I don't care who answers it, can someone just do it?!" Teddy snapped, a little harsher than intended, but whatever had just come over the two girls freaked him out. Finally Farrah forfeited the staring contest, looking over at him.

"Remember the counselor I told you about when you first got to camp? The one who snapped last year and attacked another camper?" He gave a small nod- he didn't remember the details, but he did remember the gist. "That's Luke."

"Why do we need to talk about Luke?"

"What did you know about what he was planning?" Farrah asked, turning her attention back to Ash and ignoring the question.

"Like I already told Chiron," Ash replied, a hint of restrained anger in her voice. "Nothing. I wasn't a co-conspirator. He didn't even say goodbye before he attacked Percy and left."

"Which you didn't know about?" The question was somewhere between an accusation and a confirmation, but Ash nodded.

"Which I didn't know about."

"Wait, Percy Jackson?" Teddy interjected, and both girls nodded. "You hate Percy. You told me yourself that you hate Percy."

This time Ash looked over at him, irritation on her face.

"I think he's annoying, but that does not mean I asked or wanted my boyfriend to try to murder him." She replied, which did seem like solid logic. He nodded, and she looked back at Farrah. "What did you know about what he was planning?"

"No more than anyone else!" She said, immediately defensive. "He complained about our father all the time, but I didn't think he would actually do anything about it!"

"Why does anyone have to know anything about Luke?" Teddy interrupted before Farrah started full on screaming, which got both of them to look at him.

"What?" One, or possibly, both asked.

"Why does anyone have to know anything? Why couldn't Luke have just acted alone and nobody knew anything?"

That idea seemed to calm both of them down considerably and when they looked back at each other, there was sympathy.

"I'm sorry that you lost your brother." Ash offered, her voice still a little guarded, but overall kind.

"Thanks." Farrah said, a bit measured but overall offering an olive branch. "...Do you still love him?"

Ash went quiet, and both the younger teens couldn't help but wonder if Farrah had overstepped as she stared into the flames. The shifting light cast sharp shadows that accentuated all the emotions, of which she seemed to have many, across her face. It seemed odd that she could all but accuse her of conspiring to murder a twelve year old and that was fine, but when she asked about an ex, that was off limits.

"I don't know if I ever loved him." She finally answered, still staring into the fire. "He was my first... Well, my first everything. I can't make that ever go away. And I would always rather be behind his shield than in front of his sword."

Suddenly she looked up. It seemed a second fire had been lit behind her eyes, which glowed with intensity as she looked at them.

"But if I'm called on to defend my home or my family, I won't hesitate. I'll fight to his death, or mine."

[bixgirl1]

What's your favorite sex scene you've written out of all your fics & what's your favorite sex scene you ever read?

Hi nonnie!  Sorry this took so long — I tend to leave aside asks that I know will take awhile to compose an answer to (and boy, howdy if this isn’t one of those. lol), and shamefully end up forgetting they’re there for way too long. But I’m a teensy burnt on writing atm and came across this, so:

(This got wayyy longer than I intended, so it’s going under a cut. :D)

My favorite sex scene(s) I’ve ever written

I hope you don’t mind that I picked a few. I freaking hate sounding egotistical, but I’m pretty proud of a lot of my sex scenes, so I kind of wanted to cry at having to pick. lolol. Anyway, I narrowed it down to:

The Legilimency sex in Every Me and Every You. That’s one of those scenes that came to me in this blinding, gleeful flash, and was written almost as quickly — and I got to try my hand at a version of Glove!kink, which makes me absolutely drool (more on that in the second part of your ask. lol).   

The Bonding scene in In The Red.  Though the fic has like 90 sex scenes in it (all of which I loved writing) from the outset, I knew exactly how I wanted that scene to go, every line and word, every position and emotion. I’m a little in love with it.  

Pretty much every sex scene in Sexplanations (Of The Horrible Sort),but especially the final one, because I laughed my head off at doing… well, that, to Harry.  (I make no apologies. Bahahaha)  

The whole of If The Shirt Fits.  It’s a pwp, but I love Draco’s voice in it.

Every sex scene (both het and slash) in Love Him More, because I felt like they managed to be both sexy and something else depending on the scene: aching, heartbroken, confused, renewing.

And I have to put an honorable mention in here for the first kissing/unfulfilled frotting scene in 12 Days Of What The Fuck. No one gets off in it, but I loved writing an extended snogging scene for a lot of ~reasons. (One of them is that I hardcore headcanon Harry as really loving kissing, partly because kissing’s great, and partly because he was so touch starved growing up.)

Now. If the first part of your question made me want to cry, this one practically had me bawling and wearing sackcloth, thank you ever so much for the trauma of having to pick. LOL. I am…less good at narrowing things down here. (I love sex in fic. I most often sort by rating and again, I make no apologies. *snort*) Believe you me, if I like the scene enough to list it as a fave, all of these writer’s sex scenes are brutally hot, and beyond that, the writing and plots are unbelievably good, too. (I can legit quote the dialogue in most of them. lol) Also, keep in mind I haven’t read every fic out there, my to read list is disgustingly long, these are all simply my own taste, and there may be some I adore that I’m just outright forgetting or leaving out for the sake of space and time.

*cracks knuckles* In no particular order:

The first sex scene with its surprisingly explosive chemistry in Touch Me Fall  by @lqtraintracks  and her first and second-to-last sex scenes in Blood and Fire,  which were simultaneously scorching and so lovely.

The extended foreplay/sex scene in lqt and @whipmyhairlikebangbang‘s Weeds Or Wildflowers  because hmmminuhh, there are not even words…

The first (in person) sex scene in @magpiefngrl‘s Hush, darling,  and each excited, faltering, tender kink negotiation sex scene Harry and Draco had in her fic Kettle.  (For something lighter and equally brilliant, read the lust leaks sex in  The Full Monty)

The first sex scene in Good Talk, Potter  by @l0vegl0wsinthedark. She brushes off how brilliant it is, but it was my introduction to Cocky!Harry, and for that I’ll always adore her and it. But I can’t not mention the rimming and knotting scenes in her fic Expectant, which, combined, are like 12k of some of the hottest sex you’ll ever read. But who’s surprised? 

@oceaxe’s series Closer Than Skin four smutty one-shots about, uh, shaving I didn’t know I needed until I read them. 

The knotting scene in Embers  by @shiftylinguini, which is somehow long, sweet, and blistering at the same time. Also (and this isn’t H/D, but idec), the Albus/Scorpius and Teddy/Jamie sex in her fic Sardines, which will make you go  :o  then go :O then go ;)~

The first and last sex scenes in Idk, My BFF Hermione? because the gift of writing such filthy sex and talk has only been bestowed upon a few in this world, and @letteredlettered is one of them.

Endowment  by @dictacontrion. It was my introduction, I think, to Hung!Draco, and I still can’t read it without blushing hot red and making little yipping noises.

The sex in don’t say you love me, that’s extortion by @lower-east-side​ because it’s so quietly evocative and intimate. 

Draco coming on Harry’s chest in Sex and the Art of Castle Maintenance, Draco coming on his own chest as Harry rims him in You open always (petal by petal), and Draco coming between Harry’s thighs in Lumos, all by clever and talented birdsofshore. (What can I say? I really really dig it when she makes Draco come. You will too, promise. lol)               

The sex in When You Kiss Me (What A Lovely Way To Burn) by @femmequixotic, whose sex slays me every time. (And don’t even bother asking which sex scene is my favorite from her Tales From the Special Branch series because there are a lot of them and they’re all splendidly dirty and I can’t pick and you can’t make me.)   

The first blowjob scene in @writcraft‘s Dreaming of Harry because it’s so…idk, sexy and realistic and sweet, just what I’d imagine between these boys under those circumstances, and the getting off in the cupboard scene in their fic Harry Potter and the Bisexual Awakening because, I mean, hot, but also charming and wonderful.     

And I believe I promised to come back to Glove!Kink? Try The Games We Play by @gracerene09​ because holy hell, you guys. Seriously. Fingering and wanking for the fucking win. Wear sunglasses or it’ll blind you; it’s smoking. 

The sex in Fuck, Kill, Marry by @lettersbyelise​, which is funny and blistering and darling all at once.  (….And omfg, when I went to get the link, I saw that her newly posted a drabble came with the tag ‘rentboy Draco’ and I couldn’t resist and jesus fucking christ, the blowjob in Swallow (Your Pride) too now, yes, yes!!!)

And, okay, this one might sound weird, but the Blaise/Draco sex in Just Friends (or Why Draco Malfoy Shouldn’t Have Sex in His Office) by @unadulteratedstorycollector  because it matches the heat of the Harry/Draco sex that comes later, but Harry’s accidental viewing of it is incredibly sexy and confusing (for him) and his reactions are awesome.  

And finally: The first (dubcon) sex scene in @firethesound‘s The Light More Beautiful, which left me breathless and enthralled, as well as the shower wanking scene later in the fic, both of them a totally enthusiastic chef’s kiss!  

So there you go! A non-comprehensive list of my favorite sex scenes. That many of them are in some of my favorite fics is probably no surprise, but what can you do? lol. I like detailed and dirty, I like kink, I like romantic, I like exploratory, and I like to read a lot of it. :D Hope this helps!! 

[tru-trublog]

I’m back on my bullsh*t, if by that you mean winning at maximizing my closet! I shot these looks back in early July, I felt inspired by a catch up with someone special that I can only describe as my spirit womb sister, my dear angel friend Yolisa. I’d shown him so of my way back when Instagram lewks and he was floored, he told me I could afford to go back to that level of styling and I knew he was right. While I am the queen of the casual glam chic slay, I was also once a major server of jaw dropping looks. Our conversation was perfect timing, with Leo season about to hit I was feeling the draw towards more celebration & glamour, more shine. And with that I decided to style what my Mama and Mama’s Mama gave me with all the extra and glam I could pull together from my closet.

This, I’m sure by now you can tell was warm to my birthday looks. I’m always styling up my pieces in different ways, combining them with as much as I can with what’s already in my closet. For this particular showcase I wanted to play with jacket season, seeing as winter had finally really hit. I used a base outfit, my sexy snake skin shorts and a white polo neck and paired it with different accessories. For the Teddy coat look in particular I had first envisioned it with my all white blaze chunky sneakers from Rubi but went with my white kitten heels instead to step up the glam. I’m sure you can agree that the chunky sneakers would pair perfectly with both the Teddy coat and Khaki puffer jacket look.

I wore my Khaki puffer jacket (Zara) with detachable shearling detail and accessorized with my Rubi Harriet boots and Top Gun shades for an overall bad ass pilot kinda look, perhaps this is something one of the bad bitches on Pablo Escobar’s private jets would have worn? I play too much! But yes, bad assery all around and then for the second variation I wore my new and longed for Teddy coat, also from Zara. I got this bad baby at such a good price and after waiting literally 3 years to get a teddy coat I can honestly say I’m beyond thrilled to have one! I finished of the look my mixing prints, accesorizing with my leopard print Stevie Bag.

I absolutely love these looks, all that’s left to do is wear them out in public and not just on the blog. Brunch anyone?

[womenofcolor15]

Keyshia Cole Apologizes After VERZUZ Battle Drama With Ashanti, Reportedly Caught COVID-19 Before Battle

The Keyshia Cole vs. Ashanti VERZUZ Battle finally went down after being delayed several times. However, it came with drama. Keyshia was over an hour late and fans were heated about it. She’s now apologizing and explaining what was happening behind-the-scenes. There’s also a report she tested positive for COVID-19 just eight days before the battle. Get it all inside…

The long awaited Keyshia Cole vs. Ashanti VERZUZ Battle finally went down, but it came with some drama.

The battle was postponed twice because Ashanti tested positive with Coronavirus and then a spike in positive cases caused the second scheduled date to get delayed. Third time was a charm, but it started off rocky as hell.

Eager fans logged on to IG and Apple Music to finally watch two of their faves play their hits, however, Keyshia Cole was late late. She didn’t show up until an HOUR after the battle was supposed to begin, pissing fans off. Some thought the battle would get canceled a third time. As fans got antsy, Ashanti hit the stage to keep everyone entertained until Keyshia got ready.

Turns out, Keyshia wasn’t “late” to the battle. She was there, but she was struggling with technical difficulties. Fans quickly noticed how she seemingly had a bad attitude when she did finally show up:

After having an attitude, being rushy and off the liquor during the whole night, taking constant breaks and not playing many of her most important hits. This is the moment Keyshia Cole knew she lost the battle and the most important round... #20.#Verzuz #AshantiVsKeyshiaCole pic.twitter.com/uG3AZWTs5G

— Truthfully ‘THE EXCEPTIONAL’ Ruthless (@FullyCalibrated) January 22, 2021

Us: “fix your attitude “ Keyshia cole: “I don’t have a attitude “#verzuzbattle #Verzuz #versuz pic.twitter.com/WkgnHPlWcp

— Call me Joedy (@JoedyVibes) January 22, 2021

I just don’t like how keyshia came in the live with attitude like we was the ones late ion like det #KeyshiaCole #Verzuz pic.twitter.com/fMLukTkg56

— Joanna Banana (@jodgaff) January 22, 2021

In an IG Live, the “Love” singer apologized for being tardy. She said her screen was blurry and the WiFi connection wasn’t great, so her sound was off as well. She didn’t want the battle to go down like the Teddy Riley vs. Babyface battle.

“I want to apologize for not sitting my a** in that seat. OK? Because I was there and I should’ve sat down,” she said. “I should’ve just sat in the seat no matter if I felt like the visual wasn’t clear - they said my music wasn’t gonna be right or whatever it was.”

“I think, more so than anything, people wanted me to sit, be present...even though they didn’t know that I was present,” she continued.

Yeah. Actually sitting in the seat to let fans know you were actually there would have helped. She also could have just came on and explained they were having technical issues instead of not showing her face at all.

The “Let It Go” singer also wanted people to know that she was not “saucy” (drunk) during the battle. She said she didn’t have anything to drink until towards the end of the battle because it’s hard to sing while being intoxicated.

Peep her apology and explanation below:

        View this post on Instagram

                      A post shared by Keyshia Cole (@keyshiacole)

The day after the VERZUZ, Keyshia’s DJ admitted there were technical issues holding Keyshia up.

“She didn’t wanna come out ‘cause her screen was blurry,” he told 97.9 The Box. “On her end, her screen was blurry. She was there on time. I seen everything. She was there, but she didn’t wanna come out because the screen was blurry and stuff wasn’t right, you know. We couldn’t hear [Ashanti’s] side, so it was a lot of technical stuff going on there.”

Check it:

        View this post on Instagram

                      A post shared by 97.9 The Box (@979thebox)

Now get this…

        View this post on Instagram

                      A post shared by Keyshia Cole (@keyshiacole)

After the battle, Keyshia revealed she contracted COVID-19 just eight days before. She reportedly told TSR she tested positive for COVID-19 on January 13th and was unable to rehearse with the VERZUZ team, which likely contributed to the tech issues. The VERZUZ Battle went down January 21st.

We noticed Keyshia wasn’t wearing a mask around people in the studio, including rapper OT Genasis. The CDC recommends people to quarantine for 14 days after testing positive or being exposed to the virus.

In her IG Live, Keyshia mentioned her “illness” had nothing to do with how the battle played out.

If you didn't know, Keyshia & O.T. had beef in the past. You’ll recall, their weird beef started when O.T. released an off-key remix to Keyshia’s hit track “Love,” which he re-named “Never Knew.”

During the battle, O.T. made a surprise appearance with a performance of “Love” with Keyshia:

O.T. Genesis really just hopped into Keyshia Cole and Ashanti’s #Verzuz battle pic.twitter.com/9mNzTLyA1L

— XXL Magazine (@XXL) January 22, 2021

  Ha!

Meanwhile, Ashanti was all glammed up for the battle:

        View this post on Instagram

                      A post shared by Ashanti (@ashanti)

Get into the details:

        View this post on Instagram

                      A post shared by Ashanti (@ashanti)

Slayed.

Despite the drama, the battle was a success. A HUGE success that broke a new record:

        View this post on Instagram

                      A post shared by Verzuz (@verzuztv)

”The Keyshia Cole vs. Ashanti VERZUZ battle raked in over 8.1 million viewers across Instagram & Apple Music!”

”#VERZUZ does it again! More than 8.1 million people tuned in across Instagram and Apple Music to watch @Ashanti and @KeyshiaCole.

”We set a NEW RECORD with 6 million TOTAL Instagram Live viewers — 1.2M at one time !!”

”Thank you to everyone who tuned in (and waited) to watch the first VERZUZ of 2021. We appreciate each and every one of you!!!”

Sweet!

By the way, Ashanti dropped a new song titled “2:35 (I Want U),” which is currently available to stream on all major platforms. Keyshia will release a new single February 5th titled “I Don’t Want To Be In Love.”

Swipe through our gallery of hilarious memes that took over our timelines after the battle below! 

Photos: Keyshia's IG/Ashanti's IG

TARDY FOR THE PARTY: REACTION MEMES TO THE ASHANTI VS. KEYSHIA COLE VERZUZ BATTLE!

[Read More ...] source http://theybf.com/2021/01/24/keyshia-cole-apologizes-after-verzuz-battle-drama-with-ashanti-reportedly-caught-covid-19

[missheathervalentine]

Why am I not asleep?! Probably because I'm getting a zillion birthday messages! Thank you 🤗🎂🎉🦄 So many of you have asked for my address, but I'm moving house so I can't guarantee I'll be at either address to receive presents! I promise, I'll get a PO Box in the New Year and then we can be pen pals. Also, I'm really happy with my life and everything in it, so I don't really need any gifts - your friendship on here is the biggest gift you could give me. (Unless, of course, it's the fluffy unicorn teddy that sold out in Asda - that would make my life! See Snapchat for details 🙈) I adore each and everyone one of you, and love that you all spoil me with attention everyday - not just my birthday. For those of you who insist on spoiling me further, you're welcome to pop a few pennies into my contributions account on my website, which I will be spending on essentials for our new little house, of course! Oh and we finally have an official move date!! Be prepared to be spammed with "I friggin' love my new house" posts. I've also been saving all my new YouTube ideas for this sexy new location. I've got so much more to tell you all and I'll be doing some live catch ups in my group oh so very soon! Look up 'Heather Valentine Fan Group' on FB to join the party! Again, I love you all lots! Thanks so much for the birthday love! You make me feel warm n' fuzzy inside! Mwah! 😘❤️ Photo by Dollhouse --------- #itsmybirthday #itsmybirthdaybitches #birthdaygirl #birthdaypinup #pinupmodel #pinups #retro #vintageinspired #lingerie #fauxbang #fringeroll #vintagehair #vintagemakeup #pinup #slay #ootd #outfitoftheday #stockings #cake #cakestagram #heathervalentine

[hangonimevolving]

The Iron String.

“Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string.”

--Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self Reliance

Here we are. It's August. Five months plus since the start of the U.S. pandemic, lockdowns, and general disruption to society. Over 5.26 million confirmed cases in the United States alone to date, and 167,000 deaths. Our world around us has changed.

Much of the last two months of summer for me were spent in an agonizing holding pattern concerning the almighty School Question. What would happen in the fall? Would schools be reopening? If so, how would that look - would we just act like life is normal, or would there be modifications to help prevent transmission of the virus? If so, what on earth modifications are even possible for young children that are reasonable, and to which little kids can even feasibly adhere given their ages and needs? If it proves too difficult to reopen schools, what would be the plan? Would there be some sort of virtual learning program, and how would it differ from the shifts that happened this past spring, with teachers scrambling to educate themselves on distance-learning technologies and teleconferencing utilities in order to teach a room full of kindergartners on Zoom? Surely, with several months to ponder the possibilities and plan for vairous contingencies, schools would be more prepared with better, more structured and thought-out plans for fall, than what they had in the spring... right?

Er, wrong. WRONG. The short version of how this situation ended, at least in our geographic area, is that the public school system (and my own kids' small, family-owned private school) made the decision to reopen to face-to-face teaching by the middle of July. Late in the game, both also hastily threw together a virtual option for students - but the virtual option was tantamount to a continuation of the fly-by-night Zoom teaching that had been put into effect at the very start of the lockdown.

I for one was entirely disappointed and disgusted with this. With SO much time to plan, this is really the best that could be done?! Bruh, NAW. I wasn't having it.

So blah blah blah, hem, haw, blah. Research, research, research. Reading, millions of review websites, forums, blogs, legal defense funds, Department of Education website, nonprofits, clubs and associations and collectives.... a phone call with an old friend from high school with over 10+ years experience, and a series of long and informative text message exchanges with two other friends, one a veteran with over 15+ years with three now-adult children, another a mom about my age of children about my kids' ages, facing this situation just like me and working through options just like me...... and, after all this, I knew exactly what I would be doing. What WE would be doing, in our family.

By June 13, it was official, and it was all systems go.

Ladies and gentlemen.... I am officially a homeschooling mom. Like, a LEGIT homeschooling mom. As in, I am doing a 100% parent-led homeschooling curriculum plan, FULL-time, with my two children.

I won't lie. In a million, bajillion, baskillion years, I don't think I ever intended to find myself in this place. I'll also say with honesty, that I have admired from afar the rare few homeschooling families that I somewhat know, and the flexibility and creativity with which they approach academics and learning in general.

I have also been increasingly dissatisfied and frustrated with the academic progress of my own children... Dr. Spouse and I have had long discussions where we've tried to speculate on the things that we haven't been satisfied about in our kids' schooling. The list has been long. But even as we were able to identify specific shortcomings in our children's particular educational environment, I've felt a rising sensation of control-freakism and bootstrapism in my chest, that has whispered to my conscience: "if you feel something is wrong here, don't sit around waiting for someone else to fix it. And, when you articulate your concerns in a constructive, non-threatening, but clear way, and people have smiled and nodded and claimed they'd follow up on those items, but in the end, they havent taken those concerns seriously - then it is time to man the f&* up and TAKE CARE OF THAT SHIT yourself. Because YOU are the only one you can trust. YOU are the only one who can do it right, in your own view. So either do it, or stop feeling dissatisfied about it."

So here it is. Our original plan, prior to the pandemic, was to switch the kids to the local (A-rated) public elementary school for this coming year. We had hoped that a change in environment, teachers, and the accountability of being a reputed school in the public school system, would mean more organization and oversight, and that hopefully this would translate into better academic progress in our kids.... but the pandemic changed all our plans, and besides, I don't know if more "in theory..." type things ever really translate to palpable, effective change at the individual level (at least not for me anyway, I never have such luck).

Rather than seeing this weird, surreal circumstance has having forced me into the homeschooling decision (which, maybe it sort of did) - - for reasons I can't explain, I dove headlong into it, with great excitement and hope. I can't really figure out how I have been as enthusiastic or jazzed about it as I have been - - but lookie, I'm jazzed! Seriously. From the moment we made the decision to do it, I felt like a 1,000-lb. weight was lifted from my chest. No more feeling anxious or on the edge of my seat about decisions that are being made outside of my control. In this matter - I stopped waiting for other poeple, and I TOOK CONTROL. For my own kids, anyway.

I'll write a detailed post at a later time about some of the particulars of the homeschooling plan that I am using, the research I did, the materials I ended up purchasing, the knowledge and insight I required while in the preparations phase, and other stuff. But, for now - I've droned on long enough. I'm gonna share some pictures now.

To bring it back to the start of this post - - with this homeschooling plan, I have found my iron string. I literally felt this resounding, reverberating sense of CONFIDENCE the moment that I decided to do this, and effectively brought Dr. Spouse on board. NEVER, in my life, have I felt so right about a decision. I feel a tremendous inner harmony about it - like I've come home to myself, if that's not too weird to say.

Sooo.... here are pictures of Week 1 of our great homeschooling adventure.

Obligatory "First Day of School" picture....

Our newly-tweaked home office - - now serving as our homeschooling classroom!

Particularly proud of our new training clock, our large-format calendar, and the "today's date/weather" board that I made with vinyl die-cuts from my Cricut, some chalkboard-surface Contact paper, and some rainbow sparkly duct tape :)

Spanish class: kids use a fun new app for two class sessions a week

Dey working on simple addition/subtraction with Teddy Bear Counters

Dey slaying his worksheets in Handwriting class - we're doing both print letters and cursive

Vev learning to tell time, and to recognize and convey the time in both analog and digital notation

After reading several history textbook chapters on the origins, diets, nomadic lifestyles, housing practices, and modes of dress among prehistoric humankind - we did a "History in action" lesson where the kids were given 10 minutes to construct a shelter out of a "mammoth skin" (blanket), "two tree branches" (pool noodles), and several large "rocks" (throw pillows). They didn't need the full 10 minutes :)

Vev enjoying one of his first chapter books - an "I Can Read" reader during a Language Arts learning block

After a week reading science textbook chapters about the earth's atmosphere, we conducted science experiments to better understand the properties of air! The boys had a "paper race" using construction paper and pieces of cardboard as fans, to race two paper structures across a finish line. They discussed their expectations and each articulated a hypothesis about which paper would travel faster, prior to conducting the experiment; afterwards, we determined whether our "guesses" (hypothesis) were accepted or rejected :)

This is just a smattering. There's been so much, and in only four days. I can't believe how much we are able to learn and cover in our homeschooling time. And the crazy thing is, we are able to do Phonics and Grammar, Reading, History, Read-aloud time, Math, Spanish, Handwriting, and Science in only about 3 hours per day. We integrate things like art, movement, current events, and practical life skills into pretty much everything we do, but on occasion we are even able to do a discrete, planned-out period of time for these topics too.

The iron string is taut, and secured in its proper place. We are ready for it to guide us through this school year.

[sonipanda]

Got a new one for you all which I am totally buzzing about! Now I can’t do this as I wanted to (showing you slightly more with the suit on) as some followers had to ruin it for everyone (by abusing the images previously), so I did the best I could to show you all!

Now this is lingerie yes, however I have styled it in such a way where you can wear it as an outfit during the day or as a clubbing outfit. Either way, I have turned it from the bedroom into a fashionable piece so you can get rid of that stigma.. All thanks to UKLingerie!

About UKLingerie

UK Lingerie was born on 6th December 2015. Following the success of our first two sites, UK Tights and UK Swimwear. Both my husband Jonathan and I believed that there was a gap in the market for a good online Lingerie reseller who sold quality products to women of all shapes and sizes. The gap was widened by the fact that customer service was not seen to an important factor when dealing with customers. We believed that this was what would set us apart from our competitors and to this day it still does. We will always go that extra mile to help our customers.

Since we started our site, UK Lingerie has grown considerably and is now quite a force to be reckoned with. I am the buyer for the company, choosing all of the new fashion ranges with my assistant Georgina. We travel the world in search of beautiful sleepwear, loungewear and underwear. We want our customers to be able to choose from a wide range so there are new products been added almost daily.

Jonathan and I have 4 children. We have 3 wonderful sons and a gorgeous daughter. Our eldest son Kyle has worked with us from the very beginning and is a vital member of our team. Kyle is our Marketing and Operations Manager and spends time between making sure the warehouse runs smoothly and writing new content for the site.

Warmest regards 

Dawn  UK Lingerie – Taken from their website

The Spec

Colour: Nude Black

Size: Small

Materials:  94% Nylon, 6% Elastane

Price: £47.00

Website: UKLingerie – Mapale Black Rose Body

  My Outfit

Okay so I paired these with my high-waisted formal trousers, thin waterfall blazer and my statement hat (because I love wearing this hat when I go out and it looks more ‘SLAY GURL’!

I didn’t add any jewellery, but you can go as minimal or heavy as you like to be honest depending on where you’re going!

My shoes were brown peep toes which went with my hat; you can always opt for wedges or flats.

I would pair this again with some jeans and a shirt on top and rock some Timberlands or Converses if I was going shopping!

My Deets

Waterfall Jacket: Jennyfer

Trousers: Zara

Wide Hat: Aldo

Teddy Suit: UKLingerie

  The Review

From The Website: Mapale are right on trend with this new collection and Black Rose is one of the finest examples of this. The sheer panels, wet look material and deep V-neck cut outs are some of the fastest growing kinds of fashion elements right now. They are here in force and they are simply stunning. Black Rose’s bottom half of has a wet look fabric that gives your bum an eye catching shimmer, a V-neck that’s unbeatabley head turning, and sheer fabric panels that reveal much but conceal enough to still be enticing. This is one of their simpler designs, with less frill and less alce than some of their teddy opr babydoll designs, yet this is one of Mapale’s most stunning and sexy numbers yet. NB. Due to the intimate nature of this apparel, we are unable to accept returns on this item unless it is faulty.

* Beautiful teddy * Hook and eye crotch closure * Plunge neck line * 94% Nylon * 6% Elastane

The Packaging: okay so let’s go! It came in a slimline box – the model showing off the front and the back on either side, along with small details dotted around the packaging. It’s very minimal, but it does. You can always find more on the website if you really want a read!

It comes neatly folded in plastic wrapping (3rd piccy), and this is where you get straight into it!

  What You See: is this gorgeous piece! I have to admit, on the model it looks a lot more opaque whereas in person, I find it a lot more see through! The weird thing is on the website it shows it being more transparent on the model – weird packaging!

But I won’t stress about it; we can work with this!! The front is a pale pinky colour, with the whole back exposed and then you have the soft PU bottoms. These aren’t thong like so will cover most of your bum (depending on how big that booty is!)

  Getting It On: okay so I cheated and basically left the bottom eye and hook closed on the loosest one and then just lifted it up and tied it at the back. There are multiple ways you can get this one, but it’s whatever will work for you.

What I do love about this is that the straps are loose which means you can tie it how you like – they’re like the bottoms with that soft PU look and feel to them!

  When It’s On: it looks amazing. It actually blends into my skin tone a little, which is interesting! I did have to mess with it a little just to make sure that it sat well for me. If this came in X-Small, I would have taken that for sure! It’s a gorgeous bodysuit, but you can tell that it is somewhat bigger on me.

I love the whole look at the front (you can probably pin the two panels together here if you’re smaller chested like me) and the whole back being bare then working into the PU bottom. Mine kept getting exposed as my trousers started to fall slightly down, but I love how I created this look! If I was to wear this in the bedroom only, I wouldn’t really care as much and just roll with it!

  The Panels: now this is where I had a slight issue. You clearly need b**bs for this, as they kept moving on me. I should have worn covers underneath which would have helped massively! Anyways, so you can make do with smaller breasts, but it will move so be prepared for that unless you can stick it into place (using body tape!)

So the panels itself are gorgeous; they are very see-through and not opaque like they are on the model. I found that these were slightly big on me as I had a lot of space width-wise, but the more I moved it so it sat flush, the black lace was exposing certain areas on me, so I had to be careful and align correctly! – WHERE ARE THOSE MODESTY PADS OF MINE?!

You can adjust these but the halter-neck straps depending on your cup size, but it’s one of those that you can play around with so it suits your body shape.

The black lace is just to die for; very minimal but then I suppose this was designed more for the bedroom rather than wearing it out like I am! I wish they did have a slight bit more width ways so you don’t need to bother with modesty pads, but then at the same time I love the simplicity of it!

  The Bottoms: are super comfy. You won’t really need to wear underwear with this, but that is optional. I did (as always) as I didn’t want the hooks irritating me, but that’s personal choice here. They cover all of the front and most of the bum too (nope I am not showing mine, but I only have a small one, so a lot was covered). As I mentioned before, this will depend on the size of your tushy. The model has a nice one, so hers isn’t as covered as mine was!

The material is really soft and doesn’t irritate either; if anything, it enhances the whole bodysuit. If it was a plain material, it wouldn’t look as effective!

  The Hooks: you have different settings to hook them into; you can go tight or give yourself a bit of room and loosen it slightly. I love how you have this option rather than a closed panel on the bottom as it gives you the option to either take it off that way, or if you need the toilet, you don’t need to take the whole suit off to do so!

Multiple ways to take on or off is always a good idea – like I said this is something more for the bedroom, so I’m sure that you don’t want to faff around!

  My Thoughts?

I’m certainly glad I am giving this a go, and not as a lingerie piece as such. It just goes to show that you can dress it as daywear too! I love how this looked on, and how it ended up looking like a jumpsuit!

Even though I found it slightly big on me, I still love it! I just have to mess around so it suits my frame, but otherwise I have no complaints whatsoever!

Like I mentioned, I would rock this again with a pair of jeans and see how it turns out then. What I would advise is nipple covers / modesty pads just to make sure that the panels do not move and expose certain bits!!!

Mapale Black Rose Body by UKLingerie Got a new one for you all which I am totally buzzing about! Now I can’t do this as I wanted to (showing you slightly more with the suit on) as some followers had to ruin it for everyone (by abusing the images previously), so I did the best I could to show you all!

[lareinedediamants]

Favorite episodes (season 2)

Season 1 |  Season 2 (4 favorites and 2 honorable mentions).

2.13 "Welcome to Earth 2"

Loved the Earth 2 aesthetic, Barry and Cisco being silly, Harry looking at them like: I can't take you guys anywhere. 🙃

There was this really funny moment in Harry's office when Cisco was trying to vibe and being dramatic about it.

“Give me some space.” "Alright, Zoom, you can run, but you can't hide..."

* crickets * "Ramon!" Lol.

Earth 2 Barry was adorable with his bow tie and glasses. His best line? "Oh, it's a seminal episode, you should check it out". 🤣

I love Killer Frost’s look and Deathstorm was particularly dashing in his Earth 2 suit. They looked like quite the power couple and had great chemistry.

I was giggling during the entire conversation between Cisco and Reverb. "That weird Samourai situation you got going on on top of your head there." "So? Vibe. You wanna run Central City?" "Flash, save us!" Lol.

I almost fell off my chair when Captain Singh 2.0 appeared with a flashy hat and goatee talking about: "Look I don't know nothin, so I ain't saying, nothin." 

I lived for all the Westallen moments between Impostor Barry and E2 Iris.  Barry took one look at Iris 2.0 and got completely sidetracked.

It was nice that Barry could talk to Earth 2 Nora. I was sad about the demise of Earth 2 Joe. E1 Joe better not ever die though, I mean it!

Simply one of the best episodes of the entire series.

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2.14 "Escape From Earth 2"

I love Zoom. Eobard!Wells might be my favorite character but I like him best when he plays the shady, fake nice mentor in the wheelchair. He's a villain, sure, but the mastermind, strategic kind of villain. I see Zoom as a 100% pure, traditionally evil, rampaging villain, which would make him my number 1 favorite baddie.

He's just terrifying. The cowl, the black eyes, the voice, the drive-bys where he obliterates everything in his path Tasmanian devil-style, and terrorises the people leaving his victims bruised, battered, bewildered or six feet under. As for Teddy, he slayed the part of the emotionally damaged psychopath and looked divine doing it.

So the episode starts with Tony Todd doing the "Bring Me Wells" monologue, while Zoom perches over the city. He's hunting Wells and Co. and he's inside Star Labs.

I'm Earth 2 Barry, hyperventilating during the scene where Zoom's slides through the corridor, phases into the time vault claws first, stands around for a bit, then speeds off because he's been tricked by a fake wall.

I love Killer Frost and she had a big part in the episode too. Great confrontation between her and the team in the woods, and in the end, she did the right thing by turning on Zoom: "He killed Ronnie."

Poor Barry. While nothing beats the devastation Zoom visited upon him in "Enter Zoom", the beating he took inside the cage in Zoom’s lair, was also hard to watch. "All I need from you, is your speed, Flash, and you only need to be barely alive, for me to take it." Yikes. Zoom always serves up a one-two punch of physical pain and mental anguish.

E2 Barry remains cute. "Dr. Wells, this is, very disappointing." 🤗 My favorite moment with him was at the end, after he'd survived the scariest day of his life and was trying to pull himself together as best he could like,  "I'm fine, I'm just a mess." He’s just too cute. 

Loved the ending with the escape through the breaches, right before Jay gets got by Zoom (or does he?). This episode is so good, not even Geomancer's cringe-worthy acting could bring it down.

—————-

2.17 "Flash Back"

Originally posted by westallengifs

Cisco's walking around having daymares because of Jay's helmet, Barry runs back in time, manhandles himself again (he tasered his doppleganger in “Welcome to Earth 2″), Hartley becomes tolerable and of course... King Wells returns!

"That was quite an observation you had about Hartley in there, Mr. Allen." "This is quite the speed equation you've concocted here, isn't it, Mr. Allen." Oh boy... Harry was right. Barry couldn't fool the chess master even a minute.

 Originally posted by coldtomyflash

Loved the face off between Barry and Shady Wells in the time vault. Some great lines from Eoabard:

"I thought, oh no... a time wraith had found me but then I though no, no, no, you know what you're doing. No the time wraith is after someone who travelled through time, and doesn't know what they're doing." "I dont need you. Do I? Not this you certainly...oops." "You ran all the way back here, just to die."

Barry made me proud, when he got Wells to fall in line by threatening to ruin his plans to go back home. Check mate!  💪

One other thing I loved about this episode was how rattled Eobard was by the presence of the speed wraith. He hardly ever loses his cool, unless his plan to go back home is in jeopardy (like when the cold gun Cisco built to stop Barry fell into the wrong hands). "If that thing comes after me, you're all dead!" "You don't know how to stop a time wraith?" "None of us do, that's why we always try to avoid them in our travels!"  😆

There's a good dose of humor in the episode also during the scene where Past Barry rushes into Star Lab asking "where's the other Flash". Cait's squinting trying to figure out which Barry's the genuine article, Cisco freaking out and tripping himself out with theories about doppelgangers and future suits and Wells is dying inside, as his precious timeline is getting disrupted: "Stop talking. You stop talking too."

Another funny scene takes place between Joe and Eddie, who keeps forgetting that Joe is Iris' dad, and continues to share intimate details about their life together. Joe's not having it and Jesse's delivery of "New, yes. Exciting, nooo." was hilarious.

The Westallen is also strong with this episode because in the midst of utter time wraith panic, Barry still makes time for Iris by asking Eddie to record a message for her. Barry’s seriously awesome.

Hartley Rathaway even redeems himself by vaporizing the time wraith in the end. Doesn't he look like such a nice guy here?

This episode is damn near perfection.

—————-

2.21 "The Runaway Dinosaur"

Barry's "trippy" converstation with the Speed Force that takes the form of the four most important people in his life: Joe, Iris, Henry and Nora. I love that he meets SF!Iris in the same place they first kissed. That meeting with SF!Henry in the cemetery was foreshadowing to Henry's death and funeral. My favorite moment is when Barry meets his mom. Such an emotional scene. I just love Nora Allen. The actress is excellent and she and Grant killed it.

Barry also had a moving scene with his father when Henry announced he was moving back to Central City. Let me grab some tissues. Poor Henry Allen... 😢

Mr. and Mrs. Allen, I mean, Barry and Iris walking hand in hand to visit Nora's grave was one of my favorite scenes of season 2. Barry's such a romantic and he always knows the right thing to say. "You're everything to me and you always have been and the sound of voice will always bring me home." Be still my heart.

Originally posted by henycavil

Last but not least. “Let's hear it for the boy! Let's hear it for my man!”  🎼 Teddy Sears (Zoom) sauntering around the CCPD lab in his black suit and blessing us with back shots as he exits the room after leaving Cait with an ultimatum: your friends, or me. 😷

—————-

Honorable mentions

2.18 "Versus Zoom"

Love the Westallen moments like Cait noticing the way Iris's been looking at Barry and Barry putting on a brave face when Iris tells him she has a date with Scott Evans. One of the best scenes of the entire show that I always rewind five times when it comes on, is the cute foster dad/foster son moment between Joe and Barry where they're talking about no longer having pizza from Keystone City after Wally moves in. Aww...

Originally posted by ambersriley

All this is nice and all, but the star of this episode is my man Zoom. We get a glimpse into his rough childhood and the similarities between himself and Barry. We even hear his mother say "Run Hunter. Run." (Run, Barry. Run) before she dies.

Barry uses the boot on Zoom while he's distracted by pictures of his parents but Zoom manages to get away after delivering a great monologue about family being a weakness and putting on his monster voice to drop the iconic: "You can't, lock up, the darkness." Ooh baby.  

This is the episode where Zoom trades in Wally's life for Barry's speed so he's in Star Labs, mask off, explaining his villainous motivations and Teddy is amazing. Always on pitch. Perfect pyscho; in the speech pattern, the tone, the facial expressions.

He gets animated explaining that he gave people hope, "so I can rip it away from them" then gets triggered  by Cait calling him a "monster", starts having flashbacks, snaps out of it and goes back to smirking. My deranged bae...  😘

Originally posted by kendrasaunders

Love you Bear, but every story needs a good villain. All hail the speed demon!

Originally posted by : theflashsgifs, justbarryallen, justbarryallen

—————-

2.06 "Enter Zoom"

Linda as Dr. Light and Barry are putting on one hell of a show with terrible dialogue for Zoom. "We're gonna skip the part where you say you're gonna kill me and go right to the part where I don't let you." "I'm loyal to Zoom, so get ready, to fry."

It was great to see the friendship between Linda and Iris in “Enter Zoom”, especially given the way their relationship started.

This episode is among my favorites, strictly because of the Zoom part, which happens 10 minutes before the end when Zoom kidnaps Linda Park. "You like to fish with bait. I do too." The action is amazing. Zoom grabs the bolt of lightening and flings it back at Barry. They fight in free fall, Zoom breaks Barry's back after they land and Tony gives us another iconic line, "Never forget. I, am the fastest man alive."

Zoom really messes our Barry up. Stabbed in the chest, dragged like a broken rag doll.

Drops by CCPN : "Look at your hero. This man is no god. He is nothing."  😱 

Goes to the CCPD: "The days of The Flash protecting this city, are over."  😨 

He windmills with one arm and catches awl the bullets. 😷

After that I was in shock, and it started to feel like the scene was going on forever.

I wasn't prepared to see Barry receive an ass whooping of this magnitude.  

Star Labs. "Harrison Wells. You thought you could defeat me, with this."

Then Zoom jammed his claw into Barry's side, and I was ready to pass out.

It's the only episode from 2A on my favorite list because I didn't enjoy the first half of the season (Patty and the Legends) as much as I did the second half, but 10 minutes of Zoom made all the difference for this one. 👏 👏 👏

I love this show!  🙌🏾

[rambunctiousreader]

Topics I just need to touch on from Lord of Shadows (MAJOR SPOILER ALERT)

Emma and Julian

- I’m really glad their friendship went back to normal after some time. The distance between them was unlike them at all and I hated it. I know it was necessary because they both had to process how things had changed between them, but that doesn’t mean I liked reading it.

- Okay so I think the curse is seriously coming into play here. Cassie never outwardly says that the curse is already occurring, but she drops multiple hints throughout the book. For one, all of a sudden, Emma and Julian can communicate telepathically. I don’t know but I’m pretty sure that’s not supposed to happen. Also, um, they caught a STONE building on fire?! Stone? All-powerful runes? Ring a bell?????

- During the church scene and many, many other scenes, there’s so much sexual tension between Emma and Julian. Literally. I think there’s more in LOS than LM because at this point they’ve had sex and seen that intimate side of each other. At this point, they both have privately acknowledged that they are in love with the other. I think that plays a huge role in their relationship and how it has evolved since Lady Midnight.

- That huge fight that they had when they were staying at Malcolm’s cottage literally broke me. I was on the verge of crying while reading that. I’m just glad that it didn’t take long for them to make up.

- Their conversation about the Shadowhunter family mottos BAHAHAHAHA

- This is their second sex scene and honestly I loved it so much. It was so perfect. I almost burst into tears crying when Emma admitted to Julian that she’d been lying about her relationship with Mark.

- Emma still hasn’t told Julian that she loves him and I keep wondering if this is an important detail that will be used in QoAaD. Am I the only one who noticed this?

Diana Wrayburn

- It’s not like I hated Diana in Lady Midnight, I just didn’t know her very well and didn’t see the depth of her character. Once I read her backstory, I grew to love her. She is such a strong person and honestly I just want to be her best friend.

- Diana and Gwyn? Um, can you say hella cute couple?

- Once Cassie told us that there would be a transgender character reveal in Lord of Shadows, I knew from the start that it would be Diana. In Lady Midnight, it talks about how she has lots of secrets and a dark past. We knew that she’d been through a lot, so it wasn’t a huge surprise for me, but still a monumental moment in the book nonetheless. 

- Summed up into four words, I can say “I love Diana Wrayburn!”

Kit Herondale

- From the moment we found out in Lady Midnight that Kit is the Lost Herondale, I knew that he would be an interesting character to read about. I was not disappointed.

- It’s truly heartwarming to watch Kit grow from a person who is denying himself as a Shadowhunter and the culture of the Shadowhunters to fully embracing it and finding a home with the Blackthorns. That scene where they’re fighting the Seven Riders and Ethna (or whatever her name is) is about to kill him and he’s all like “I’m Christopher Herondale.” I just loved that and I almost cried. 

- At this point, I still don’t really know where his relationship with Ty will lead. I know for sure it will be either a romantic relationship or a parabatai relationship, and I’m perfectly fine with whichever. For me, it’s hard to tell right now. Cassie has a habit of pulling large plot twists on us, and I don’t know what to think. All I do know is that I like Kit and Ty as friend or lovers. I think they compliment each other very well and are so cute. (The Sherlock and Watson comparisons?! Cute af!)

Julian Blackthorn

- I’m honestly so scared for Julian and I have two main theories for him. Neither of them are happy. He’s either going to literally go off the deep end and go full evil and be really bad or he’s not going to survive to the end of the series. Like I said, I don’t really like either option.

- Julian’s hidden ruthlessness is touched upon several times in LOS like in LM. This is NOT coincidental and Cassie is foreshadowing. His ruthless nature and his undying will to protect those he loves will play a major role in the plot of QoAaD, I’m sure.

- I don’t even want to think about how Livvy’s death will affect his family, but especially Julian. He’d devoted his life, time, and heart to protecting his family and doing whatever it takes to keep them alive and safe. He’s failed to do that. Because of Livvy’s death, he will blame himself and I feel like it will really push him over the edge. 

- There is this undeniable dark Julian that we all know exists. Few of us actually acknowledge that this is a part of Julian because we don’t want to imagine our baby Julian like that. Our baby Julian, who has been in love with Emma for god knows how long. Our baby Julian who ran an Institute when he was twelve, killed his own father, who became parabatai with Emma even when he knew he was in love with her because he didn’t want to lose her. Jules, Julian, who paints her in secret, who hides his feelings for her. He is an incredibly selfless person and I feel like that it could seriously be his downfall and weakness ironically.

- Basically, I think that tough times are in the forecast for Julian Blackthorn. :(

Five Main Character Deaths

- Jon Cartwright: I was really surprised about his death and didn’t see it coming. I was just a lil sad but overall it wasn’t that bad. I will miss him though. I hope Marisol will be okay.

- Arthur Blackthorn: I was also very surprised about this death. In Lady Midnight, Arthur is written as this insane, depressed, and sad individual. We don’t like him because he was supposed to run the Institute, not Julian. In the last few pages of his life, he was completely lucid and actively gave up his life to save the younger Blackthorns. I was very taken aback and thought it was very honorable. It instantly redeemed his character for me. I was sad to see him go.

- Malcolm Fade: I never really believed he was dead tbh. I actually laughed when he truly died. Literally, this dude spends 200+ years dedicating his life to bringing a girl back from the dead, and when he does she just kills him?!?! I died it was actually really funny. I realize how sick that sounds and I’m sorry but it was so funny.

- Robert Lightwood: Never did I think a character from another series would be killed off. I set myself up for sadness when I assumed that. I was very sad when Robert died; not only was he Emma and Julian’s only hope to fix things between them, but he was also just mending his relationship with his children and it broke my heart when Alec was calling for his dad. I can’t remember exactly, the last few pages of LOS were a blur of tears and emotions and words and I’m pretty sure I started crying when Alec was calling “Dad, please, dad.”

- Livvy Blackthorn: Oh my god. Oh my god. Livvy’s death caught me by complete surprise and it crushed me. Livvy had so much ahead of her. She’d found out that Julian had been the one that had taken care of all of the younger Blackthorns since the Dark War, and she’d wanted to be like him. She’d kissed Julian on the forehead. It was so cute and it warmed my heart. SHE NEVER GOT TO RUN AN INSTITUTE. All Livvy wanted was for her family to be together and when Helen and Mark finally came back and everyone was together, she died. She never got to see her family reunite, and I think that’s the saddest part. I truly will miss Livvy. And when the clock rang? Oh my god, I was a hot mess. There are dried tears on the last two pages of LOS. I cried myself to sleep that night when I finished it.

Side note on Livvy’s death: maybe this is a grieving me just searching for a way to bring Livvy back but there was a quote in either Lady Midnight or Lord of Shadows (I think its LOS) and one of the characters (I think a faerie or something) is like “Oh, how foolish of u to regard death as something so final.” Will this tie into Livvy’s death? WILL LIVVY COME BACK?

Characters I Literally Cannot Deal With

- Jaime Rosales (taking advantage of Dru like wtf)

- Annabel Blackthorn (she fucking killed Livvy and Robert ugh)

- Zara Dearborn (I don’t really need to explain this, do I?)

- The Cohort (see above)

Characters I Didn’t Pay Much Attention to Before but Now I Like Them

- Mark Blackthorn (sweet bby oml)

- Kieran (ur not as bad as I thought, pal)

- Diana Wrayburn (I explained above. Never hated her or anything, just didn’t know her)

- Gwyn ap Nudd (PROTECT THIS ACTUAL TEDDY BEAR OML)

- Dru Blackthorn (don’t make her babysit plz)

- Ty and Livvy (I have a twin and I wish he was like Ty lol)

Emma Carstairs 

- hot mess of angst and emotions throughout the book (as expected) 

- Julian Blackthorn Julian Blackthorn Julian Blackthorn Julian Blackthorn

- She slayed one of the Seven Riders like holy crap girl ur a legend

- She and Julian had sex again. Have I talked about this? Yes. It was amazing. I loved it. I enjoyed every second of it.

- I love how whenever someone does anything mean or says something bad about the Blackthorns, Emma freaking goes apeshit on them

- When Emma made Diego stand in the antpile.... OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS GIRL

- She’s so sassy and I love her sass. Did I mention I love her sass. 

Further comments

- WHAT THE FUCK IS THE DEAL WITH CORTANA BREAKING THE MORTAL SWORD. WHAT THE FUCK. I NEED ANSWERS.

- will Emma and Julian seriously ever get rid of the parabatai bond

- how will Livvy’s death affect her family

- when will Mark, Cristina, and Kieran have their eventual threesome I need to know

- how the fuck is Bridget still alive

- ALL OF THE TID REFERENCES WHILE THEY WERE IN LONDON AHHHH MY HEART

- what is happening to the warlocks oh my god don’t touch my Tessa and don’t touch my Magnus

- is Ragnor alive or nah

- what is the history of the Black Volume

- Clary better not die or I fucking s2g

[glopratchet]

delivery-two

You find yourself walking along an empty road in a desolate part of town "I'll see you later Delivery of the book is a little late, but it's still better than nothing "Thanks, " you say as you put away your bag and begin to get dressed You head out the door and into the night, heading towards your destination How to increase rank What to do next? There are no other people around, so you can think about these things now You continue on your way until you reach a familiar building with a large sign over it reading 'The Library' After some time has passed, you notice that there isn't any police car in sight The place looks just like when you were here before for class It feels weird not being able to read anymore though One person does not have to nessary complete every single quest available to raise their rank to 'Hero' You could make up your own quest if you really wanted to Already knowing the way from memory, you decide to try something new; You begin to enter the library Inside, is even more deserted than the outside A group of teens with skateboards simply stare at you as you pass by them with around twenty books in your hands They knew you weren't actually a member of their little gang One person does not have to nessary complete every single quest available to raise their rank to 'Hero' Once all key deliveries are completed you can unlock and urgent delivery to the mayor of the city If you chose to ignore the skateboarders, go back to start Once all key deliveries are completed you can unlock and urgent delivery to the mayor of the city Complete the urgent quest and you will advance to the next rank Teacher's Pet Every fight in the game is a boss fight Complete the urgent quest and you will advance to the next rank: Every time you die or fail a quest you can choose to start over from the beginning or continue where you left off The people watching you gain nothing from your success, they are only benefitting themselves If however, you are able to successfully complete the game, reaching 'Hero' rank and choosing to submit your accomplishments it will grant every player that does so in the future with 'Infamy Points' Every alligator requires some degree of stragtehy not matter what gear you have equipped right? Using an end gator weapon on a four foot yearling wont count squat if you dont know what you are doing but there are some things even the large razor sharp teeth and strong bite cant destroy im talking about people Item set-up for people killer: Claws- 4inch gold zinc alloy finger nails studded with 7centimeterglass cutting blades under the nails connected to a 3inch Zinc all weather guidance system with target painted for maximum accuracy Hands- level 3 kevlar sleeve guards with 11 inch bite reflex protected steel bones and plastic protecting the others Helmet- includes shooting range targetting HUD and forcefield visor that shocks attackers Item set-up for people killer: Basic strategy - انتشار ضربات الكلى للقاتل Advanced Strategy- انزفاشة للخس للمتعوب عليه Legendary Strategy- ; (coming soon) Basic strategy- انتشار ضربات الكلى للقاتل And guides to the alligators that appear in the game: Name- Zeus Location- Somewhere nearby your house Loot- Full armor set including helmet, gauntlet, boots, robe, steel rod, bracers, and knuckles Also loot is only good till higher ranks Missions too Special loots only drop in specific missions those being And guides to the alligators that appear in the game: First things first make a chariorot or take one you already made and give them the name 'Sebastian' for this mode When you begin, you find yourself somehow walking along a abandoned road on a slightly overcast day with cloudy skies First things first make a chariorot or take one you already made and give them the name 'Sebastian' for this mode Thats already made it weird for you Upon heading down said road in search of signs of other life you suddenly are greated by the sight a a car crash people are dead, or undead Pick one You see a single male adult out of the car attempting to bite an infant in a car seat in the back of the car You being a kind person that you are decide to help and grab a pipe wrench laying under the front of the car to destroy his head with Thats already made it weird for you Process the alligator afterwards and use supplies from his clothing and the car to create one big Guide to alligators When done finish the mission and choose to continue for next rank Next is the burned house Very complex and detailed houses and props for this quest Upon reaching the front you immediately notice that there is something going on in that house however you gotta kill em all to help them! so open up the gate leading into the front yard of the house Process the alligator afterwards and use supplies from his clothing and the car to create one big Guide to alligators Set aside the delivery man story line for a moment and lets begin with this new started narrative now shall we? Set aside the delivery man story line for a moment and lets begin with this new started narrative now shall we? Send out a beacon for the googizon drones to send you reinforcements with weaponized low intensity EMP devices, send a request for rover drones to run security while searching the premisesand finally decree that if the troops come across Weaponized Plauge victims to restrain them instead of killing them immediately Begin reconnaissance of the house which contains blocked off windows and door with cross beams nailed into place Send out a beacon for the googizon drones to send you reinforcements with weaponized low intensity EMP devices, If you bring a grill you can cook the left overs into a consumable meal After finishing the humans caving in their own defenses with battering rams tear down said reffening beams then cautiously and quietly enter the house Upon entering you are greated by a female human pointing a shotgun at you "Can you help us? " she asks after shouting at somebody farther inside the house You make sure to buff yourself with all currently available protections before replying "Why certainly ma'am I am hear to rescue you If you bring a grill you can cook the left overs into a consumable meal Rare medium well done Human Steak for defeating the Burned House Next up: The Catacombs Rare medium well done Human Steak for defeating the Burned House The longer you cook the better the taste after all The longer you cook the better the taste after all Gather herbs for more HP or Salt for the traps, and the brine for the next quest in act 4 Gather herbs for more HP or Salt for the traps, Collect mushrooms for the cellar or fresh fruit for the traps, and salt for brine Alternatively you can gather C4 plastic explosive to blow said house up from outside the restriction zone Also as a hidden note if you try to break into the house by bring AI with manipulation abilities you can turn around the Hostile Lady human into a friendly one by ordering her allies to kill themselves Well thats what it seems to do at least Collect mushrooms for the cellar or fresh fruit for the traps, Collect honey for healing pouches or stingers for flash grenades, and netting for the lab Collect honey for healing pouches or stingers for flash grenades, Combine items in certain order and recive a resulting potion that gives you a full heal, as well as the next quest After the talk finish up the house with Orange Juice and a hammer for good measure Combine items in certain order and recive a resulting potion that gives you a full heal, Sometimes things will look hopeless Begin slaying the Creeps and upon their deaths dance a victory dance as the scary Noise tracks them by your heartbeat and are then destroyed by your immune system Well not really but surly that would be cool Keep playing for massive amounts of nightmarefuel or watch a kid in his bed weep as his teddies hearing is 10 times better than that of his parents and you would be 1 mile away by now You have run out of potions for now so the choice is left to you whether to go out and snack on a few humans or slay monsters within the safety of the walls You have run out of potions for now so the choice is left to you whether to go out and snack on a few humans or slay monsters within the safety of the walls You have fainted twice from lack of blood so restock is required Bring guns and rifle ammo for the guards or antibiotics in case you or your monsters get wounded out there You are running low on consumables so for the next quest go hunting humans for food or seek out a large vehicle wreck to pilfer parts from You have fainted twice from lack of blood so restock is required You feel the need to pull out and restart that ending was just silly Ah well no help for it Brush your teeth and go back to the start Hey this is incredibly hard but very fun once you figure out the trick, my only problem now is I dont want it to end due to how creative and well done it all is, thank you! Also completing the game a 2nd time on easy mode would probably take about half the time! Check it out if your running low on time You feel the need to pull out and restart, Gathering quests aid in your survival as the require you to keep yourself fed from the get go, and healing is basically free and unlimited if you have the how acquired Looking back on it I should have taken the time to gather more herbs and such, Oh well maybe on new game plus Gathering quests aid in your survival as the require you to keep yourself fed from the get go, Run around gathering enough items required to complete the quest does have its perks, makes it very easy compared to others I have played though due to this What more is there to say other than this game stuck with me and tickled my fancy, ending was worth the time spent playing for sure Thank you again for all your work put into this creation Run around gathering enough items required to complete the quest does have its perks, Someone needs honey to keep away the infection hordes Someone needs honey to keep away the infection hordes Travel to the hive and get it and also a certain plant extract to stop the primary infection types in the surrounding areas You now have 2 choices of where to go for the main quests Gather enriched uranium for small arm ammo to gain access to a stadium or explore further a find a way of talking to the ZCI surrounded by hundreds of infected humans blocking your path Travel to the hive and get it, Above all else scavenge and survive Gather herbs for the researching of a cure of transport the possible cure to the forces holding out nearby, or head back home to defend it from hordes of infected and the mysterious 'darkness' killing infected and even survivors alike Above all else scavenge and survive Dont break the egg and trust no one These story options give the game a great deal of replayability for those extra fun game sessions! Thank you for dropping by, I hope you have an incredible day and anticipating your visit next time! Dont break the egg, Some times your weapon will bounce off the armoured shells unless they can be flipped onto there back first Its the same for mutants too Also many large vehicles spawn with locked doors You need to find the keys or the tools to unlock them in order to loot them properly Tanks are artiulated like a mans leg at the hip and can easily be put out of action with a few well placed shots to that area Also on the undersides of heavy and cramped armored cars you can find vulnerably engines and other weak points to destroy them quickly too Some times your weapon will bounce off the armoured shells unless they can be flipped onto there back first Abandon the delivery quest, it is too unrealistic and you risk loosing items if you linger As other comments have said remember rotting meat, once identified as such, is off the list as far as eating goes Remember to shoot windows out first to prevent infection entering treatment plants/ozone factories you may want to explore strongest thing in there are the huge fans that create the air flow for the ozone filters and quite powerful Great for fanning a flame up into a roaring blaze Abandon the delivery quest, Great lizardskull Im lost I ternd the accptnce tform into egnigbt qwestcion but now Im frmsh? Ehtan Socity is mbbblawtted beesyo knwnonttwwird Upehauemeh noice bbboo in evndecdosnt robetrsmne Perfect beeing: a delivery game where you may rob and trash as you wish You don't have to scavenge for items or make moral choices to determine outcomes This was also reality once, we do not need it again The game isn't great It's hours of nothing happening other than pressing a button here and there then fighting the same 2 or 3 mutants over and over before you can finally pass on to the next bland uninteresting location a delivery game where you may rob and trash as you wish Your most basic pounch set up should be slung over one shoulder with the drawstring untied so its instantly on the floor with your basic gear when you need to run or have both hands free Guns should never be kept in backpacks! Hard or soft luggage of any kind unless ripping it open takes only 1 second So a proper loop to put forefinger and thumb through should be present to open in one single move Your most basic pounch set up should be slung over one shoulder with the drawstring untied Ten potions- use these to recover from minor injuries that restrict your action but you can still move and fight, eg broken fingers, heavy bruises, stab wound etc Try to store at least 2 full pints ; (running from refrigirated foodstores is great fun! ) of contaminated water that can be used when dousing flames or mixing healing potions if there is a shortage Dump dirty and very contaminated away ASAP Also use for trashing around to make unsettling noises to create scares Always have some "Wide Area" Ten potions- use these to recover from minor injuries that restrict your action but you can still move and fight, Ten mega potions use these to hear after sustaining a major injury IF deemed still playable after review by designers then don't worry about the extra waste if allergic to meds and really need to rest Two healing potions heal up to half of your missing required health no matter the state of decay Dump dirty and contaminated water aftwards away IF allergic to meds then you might have had it and prolly best not to risk meds untested The gaming staff have been quite health and safety concious in that regard Your call Must combine them from stratch with non-contaminated water from a cleaned source taking at least 40 mins to make thme unless sucessful first time then only 20 Take note of and use the colour codes on your tat when creating these very specific liquid medicines, this helps a lot with the jargon Always get Energy Potions Ten energy potions ensure you maintain movement even under heavy fire Combine with meds if required Dump after 24hrs due to waste and limited shelf life Must combine them from stratch with non-contaminated water from a cleaned source taking at least 40 mins to make thme unless sucessful first time then only 20 Three or more paintballs Gathering friends for a fight improves the prize 20 random shells: makes taking out enemies quick and easy Aim for head Check back pocket pouch for more ammo Incremenet your shot quota to 100 after passing training and winning prize Three or more paintballs: Hit an alligator with a paintball and they will be visible on the map for 30s aim well, you cannot get another shot until your previous one expires or hits Great way to track down looters in a hurry! Beachball - drop this unique bouncy ball to block sinks and other passages and create safe routes or traps for enemies to fall into Each can be used at most twice so save them for the best moments Watch out as an explosion can cause it to pop causing ! DANGER! water to come thundering down Hit an alligator with a paintball and they will be visible on the map for 30s Ten minutes can be renewed if another is thrown into the same hole Duck and Cover! Ten minutes can be renewed if another is thrown into the same hole Well done steaks decrease hunger need a way to cook em soon! Locate other survivors carrying bookbags way easier to spot at a distance when equiped in this area Bring more packs for greater radius Well done steaks decrease hunger need a way to cook em soon! 20 whetstone- use these to sharpen your weapon turning it into a scissors like edge which can cut when stabbing 20 whetstone- use these to sharpen your weapon turning it into a scissors like edge which can cut when stabbing Items- Check your tatoo for full details on all bonus items Ammo Costs: White Dots: 10 Bullets Red Dots: 20 Bullets As you progress through the cityscape you'll be gifted with coins and cash from fallen enemies, loot locations or contests won you can use this to replenish your ammo needs Be sure to check back with the trader to exchange your cash when needed Items- Check your tatoo for full details on all bonus items Dung bombs; ( dung bomb ) - make even the worst, baddest, meanest daily task seem less set with a well placed explosion of dung! Shops hardly ever have these so buy some while you can! ( dung bomb )- make even the worst, Casing ; ( sap plant stone/iron ) Slime; ( royal jelly cancerous ) Null berries Note that some online scammers have been changing the format of payment from the previous generation's bank pins Also some limited edition items more info on the official site once it returns from this bug Sonic bombs - A suprise to everyone, these bombs actually suduce an audible sound wave at a certain frequency that only some creatures can here, and the rest suffer no damage but instead are knocked over! Sonic bombs- A suprise to everyone, Water blight ( worthless brown goo)-So after being in the wild for so long ive worked out this slime is often found around filthy infected water sources, so ive realised boiling it and adding special ingredients removes the brown colour and makes it almost clear Water blight; Alligators are weakest to ice followed by fire water and thunder You must allow 24 hours for orders to be prepared or you can pick it up right away but this may not be as good Crystal bones - these old ancient relics were used in sacrificial rituals and can be carved in the same style to add to your collection vouchers: awarded from some fights when your opponent was really trying to kill you! Champion reptile hide bag This is made from the animal skin of a Snake, Lizard, Crocodile or other large reptile creature There are not many left now so cherish it or find something better if you can Crystal bones- these old ancient relics were used in sacrificial rituals and can be carved in the same style to add to your collection Deliver 4 gold fish to gecko rock Deliver 4 gold fish to gecko rock Some alligators will need you to bring energy drinks to tame and domesticate them Get gecko rock army ready 200 by 400 array formation Updates can be found on the website when fixed also limited mutant lizard gloves for sale! Some alligators will need you to bring energy drinks to tame and domesticate them High reach is advised thanks to large bugs and enemy climbing up Half dream circle with sun on Tuesdays at noon High reach is advised thanks to large bugs and enemy climbing up Constantly move, strafing around you and quickly starfing away Shooting star at night means good luck coming your way Spraying one of these on you somewhere means no creature will attack you for 10 minutes or untill you get too close You develop a rash and begin to lose health fast, before collapsing and dying from massive organ failure If completed soon you can avoid death and become safe again strafing around you and quickly starfing away Watch out for the posion bite The alligator holds fast and does not let go, it slowly drains your life away Better break its grasp eventually with brute strength or something else You refuse to help leading to death by walker bite Weak from blood loss you cannot help yourself and even assist in saving your food sources You choose to move on leaving them to die Carefully avoiding death by bite you lose some hair and are hairless for a decade afterwards Speeder spider webs growing out from a nearby mountain range need collecting High risk of spawnlings but also high priced Tracking down treesnakes for powerful healing ability parts They swim away and cannot be caught easily, try setting traps or hunting in small teams Everything increases in price, Tranquil has very little to offer going forward You lose two slots for infected items, they hoped you would accept these terms but who knows if they would have stuck to them Speeder spider webs growing out from a nearby mountain range need collecting Gore magala leather is always prized, partly because the creature tends to poison those it touches and partly becase of its aesthetics Try using a slingshot with metal tips to bring down birds Your mainly feeding yourself at this point, shooting the throats out of passing birds It takes several days but eventually after fending off some infected you are able to cook by a fire and sleep in a tree-hole baited with fresh human flesh You understand the situation now Gore magala leather is always prized, Glopratchet rank You stay with the bitter pirates hidden away in their town for a few weeks being looked after Eventually you realise getting back to your home island will be no easy feat, all the pirate ships are gone and most of the captains are now dead forcing you into hiding Glopratchet rank 4 Alright welcome to gloptrachte rank at this point you have the option of two paths, pirate or recluse survivalist Alright welcome to gloptrachte rank 4, Here is wehre you get the title of one of the most difficult video game ever made The difference in both paths is almost non-existent until you are faced with a particular choice later Dunno what happens then either but do the other version first and well thats that ive done it You prefer to be a pirate if only because its looks more fun Alligators in g rank hit a ton harder than anything you have faced yet, and the situations are suddenly becoming very dangerous Can you become the worlds toughest pirate? There is a pirate town called 'portsmouth' thats almost totally controlled by psychoactive substances Rumored to be enhanched with giggle smoke making the inhabitants near invincible Possibly leading to enhanced combat prowess and unnatural luck? For more information look G rank pirates on wiki Alligators in g rank hit a ton harder than anything you have faced yet, Its not uncommon to faint once or twice during a delivery even when wearing end gator gear Your G-wrench becomes a sideshow feature for more than a few days in the ludus gladiatoria Goring, impaling, crushing blows fail to break its frame as you happily explain its craftmanship to onlookers Arbalests and muskets fired sit deep in its hinges and metal crossbars while so far none have managed to scratch its sizeable diamond crystal head Its not uncommon to faint once or twice during a delivery even when wearing end gator gear! Make a new chariot as soon as you hit g rank keep the G-wrench equipped at all times if you do end up delivering in it Sure they are devastating even without the end-game setup but will make very few friends! Dropping a forum post saying you plan to find a group for delivery might attract interest There absolutely will be people who ask to join as well as people telling you the suicidal odds Ignore the negativity and find matchers, only go with those who dont question if you are prepared or not Make a new chariot as soon as you hit g rank, Tetsucabra x You set off from ivald rank somewhere amidst a typical batch of nievey caves, thinking you are searching for the askos of gibber linision milk You travel, mostk of the time, dawn to dusk mostly without issue but suddenly staring at the faces of two tetsucabra in a narrow cave corridor Your group was ill prepared for a fight with even one but with your tiny number and no access to weapons its a moment of extreme danger Tetsucabra x 2 Seregios are often very much alone when they hunt, especially so in this instance with no large bodies of water anywhere near but its unusal to travel in a group The beasts appear to be just as confounded by this situation as you and stare at each other as much as they do you They move towards you slightly and make aggressive hissing noises as if trying to scare you but are clearly as nervous about this encounter as you are Seregios are often very much alone when they hunt, Regios x You stand in awe at the cave interior, despite being increasingly desensitized to beauty Its as if someone hollowed out half of a mountain underground and fabricated a masterpeice out of it An underground limestone courtyard with caverns stretching in multiple directions overhead and below, stalagtites tangled with lush bioactive plants hanging around brilliantly lit pools of water Regios x 2 Birthday berries and glow worms aplenty illuminate the area giving more than enough light to see by while small savage hunters are seen dancing around fires in the distance, just outside Its as close to a utopia as you can think of under the surface at least The tribes here are the Regios, lazy and lackadasical yet so incredibly intelligent, artists and sculptors unrivaled in all of monsterdom Birthday berries and glow worms aplenty illuminate the area giving more than enough light to see by while small savage hunters are seen dancing around fires in the distance, Chasing tail Chasing tail, fighting and games of chance fill up most of their days but should a question, financial or otherwise nature occur they are without a doubt some of the smartest, partially due to the inbreeding common for the tribe Deciding to sneak by undetected you crouch behind larger plant spanning across the cavern and wait The monsters here thrive on a diet of bioactive plants and fruit which grow all over this place Berserk tetsucabra enemies of the regios tribesmen and poisonous to boot, relentlessly try to attack them with no avail thanks to hours and hours of feasting on the region's native anti-venomgrowth They lack predators, doubly so since the regression of the drotch population They are incapable of sustaining themselves on any other food source or even fighting beasts and have resorted to hiding in the least explored recesses of the caverns, away from invaders Berserk tetsucabra, Blouder that explode after crunching them and tall furry thigs that spray a caustic substance out of their, proportionally large, eye amongst other wonderful traits fill up the Regios menu They face no problems from larger nasties since their underground tunnels and shallow caves are perfect for repelling territorialk ravas and lumbering ground digger types and digging innovations have left the caves almost untouched Blouder that explode after crunching them and tall furry thigs that spray a caustic substance out of their, Multi-gator types that can produce sonic frequencies to shatter rock are thankfully rare and repelled by the large underground dams the tribes have built up over centuries All said and done, these caves are an absolutely amazing place for anyone to live in and the tribes know it Their first attempts at intruding into the vastnesses of the caverns were decades ago with simple mine digging equipment Multi-gator types that can produce sonic frequencies to shatter rock are thankfully rare and repelled by the large underground dams the tribes have built up over centuries Fashion victim eljust mobo shoes UK uk sale 2014 new xPzOxqnwZ They instead dug to the very depths of it, lacking the technology or knowledge for surfacing Eventually they hit a dry spot and found no distinguishing features or characteristics of value besides solid rock and the few strange shapes that the ground digging stirred, confused, them out of their normal work Tribes were lost in these minor digs as accidents ran rampant with improperly made equipment failing Fashion victim eljust mobo shoes UK uk sale 2014 new xPzOxqnwZ They instead dug to the very depths of it, Topple jefferson sneakers new Nike SB sale 2014 online shop for to qPwvv68Still lacking the technology to break through, they gave up on short digs and instead resorted to slow, methodical, long tunnels spanning miles in a search for these allotments Topple jefferson sneakers new Nike SB sale 2014 online shop for to qPwvv68Still lacking the technology to break through, Pivot in circle vs awakardly shuffling around turns out to be far easier said than done when slow drilling through weak parts of the earth Nostril tile biohazard Nike new billigt skinker Reed in limited Air Pailletten qtRZxp The land they settled on was geologically active with great jolts causing collapses and blocking off tunnels as original diggers broke through in search of what they believed was just rock, not realising that they were about to puncture a monster tunnel Pivot in circle vs awakardly shuffling around turns out to be far easier said than done when slow drilling through weak parts of the earth Eacht delivery needs a name and number of rough evacuations as mouth surrounded be pick axes, dust and collapses Distressing events where tribesmen barely make it to the surface yielded far less casualties than those who stayed resolute inside and blindly dug on in a horrific cave-in Eacht delivery needs a name and number of rough evacuations as mouth surrounded be pick axes, Grand finals confrontation was between the three major tribes after years of extending their respective tunnels, rediscovering each other and territorial disputes Ashen faced starvation threatened them all and the strongest tribe would take all the land, food and women so competition to dig was ferocious despite the dangers CAVING SAFETYAlways carry a highly visible light source as there are electrical components and disused wires placed specifically to trip up miners and fools Grand finals confrontation was between the three major tribes after years of extending their respective tunnels, Serptintine samba multicolor boots to Metallic Adidas gMv4FwO In generally all parts of a mine are off limits and highly restricted except for the active chalk drawings that should lead you through the mineshaft and to the main areas Sculptures dot the tunnels watched over by disused offices that send a chill down the spine Serptintine samba multicolor boots to Metallic Adidas gMv4FwO In generally all parts of a mine are off limits and highly restricted except for the active chalk drawings that should lead you through the mineshaft and to the main areas Serpent serande boots to Metallic multicolor samba Photoshop PSY104vibram outfits copper nose flower Silvery AuFFxqOfW When you see markings such as skulls, explosives storage, trapdoors or dead ends be weary in an unregulated mine anything can happen and several mines have collapsed under themselves or sabotaged by inhuman forces Serpent serande boots to Metallic multicolor samba Photoshop PSY104vibram outfits copper nose flower Silvery AuFFxqOfW When you see markings such as skulls, Death and taxidermy aren't the only curses either and a junkyard on legs or beautiful medi-kit carrying woman may plague you for disturbing their homes However with these also come great rewards; vast untouched gold and silver piles lay around for the taking and many bones left behind can be crafted into valuable tools, especially when zombie dogs and scavengers leave great piles of useless material skeletons behind as they chew on human bodies Death and taxidermy aren't the only curses either and a junkyard on legs or beautiful medi-kit carrying woman may plague you for disturbing their homes Primate plunder unique colorado cast fist Cobalt Blue speed Yellow toed qwRYIW1 Primate plunder unique colorado cast fist Cobalt Blue speed Yellow toed qwRYIW1 Hunger games are common in the wild as man and monster locate hidden food stockpiles that were built up for the post-apocalyptic future Chemical spills can cause various afflictions so avoid poisoned water holes, jars or ponds Wargle Amara are notorious for striking without warning dragging men and women to gruesome ends Hunger games are common in the wild as man and monster locate hidden food stockpiles that were built up for the post-apocalyptic future Line in the sand graphic skeletal depiction pays tribute YZqxpPXUO Some mine creatures wear human masks to lure trespassers into madness or slaughter, be wary of creature looking just like another human Many mines end in dwarf doors that must be forced open with explosives but the dust clouds caused slows visibility to a few feet and attracts all manor of terrors Line in the sand graphic skeletal depiction pays tribute YZqxpPXUO Chumming the waters with body parts or faeces may bring unexpected allies or distract a pursuing group of Wargles CREATURES: Forgotten mutants, ghostly survivors that died when a crucial bridge collapsed into a deep mining pit laden with poisonous gas, and ravenous cannibalistic Wargle bastards that live to worship an insane fantasy made visible in their shockingly painted faces Some foolishly assume the wonderful and featureless to be harmless Bug be gone of the terrible twins what terrorize the mineshafts, they hunt in deadly silence and their shrieking mandibles are the stuff of bad nightmares but beauty lay in the eyes of the beholder, the wonderful can kill with their poisonous barbs lodged into a humanoid eyeball Bug be gone of the terrible twins what terrorize the mineshafts, Both alligators are infected with a terrible plague that is only survivable for them when the infected host spends most of their life in muddy water The large and small mutants have an uncanny resemblance to one another almost like conjoined twins, with an abundance of razor sharp teeth and tongue snakes for appendages While scorched by sunlight the brittle maws are fast, cunning and salivate at the prospect of warm flesh to feast upon Both alligators are infected with a terrible plague that is only survivable for them when the infected host spends most of their life in muddy water Just bring nullberries to conter the frenzy of the smaller wonderful and prevent infection if bitten by the large wonderful Or weave complex pointed leaves into thick protection to block_arrowoca Pierce of Teeth and Tongue or trade shells for safety around wonderful emissary if horde imminent As always, 10 nullberries jerked into your cheeks are enough to lure most wonderful allies to your side, countermand saliva acids and prevent affliction Those alive are worse than greatfish poison but those passed cannot be recalled or reasoned with once rabid Just bring nullberries to conter the frenzy of the smaller wonderful and prevent infection if bitten by the large wonderful Queen substance can be procurred from desert seltas and selta's shinies Amtissue from firefrog handsome can be useful to rub on skin or weak creatures to make arrows and shoots go further with deadly accuracy Pitiful rot infested baiters, spoonheads, killer ducks, biting fish, blasted bodysnatchers, shamblers found in blasted lands Be wary of fungal life and the strobing lights that drive humanoids insane The front page is nothing but quests to go on, and Jorny is currently looking over one for a merchant whose cargo shipment was stolen You peruse the other news and notice that there's one in particular that catches your eye It lists various sightings of Slendy in Rask The front page is nothing but quests to go on, Go get the honey The path is now open but never repeatable Making gains in rask, Whats noteworthy is that the fungal lifeforms in rask lack the poison of their seemly evolutionary cousins due to prolonged exposure to the sun and overgrowth Go get the honey #6 Alligators are sick go heal them with nullberries or cooked meat Bored and no quest? Use the app to browse through images on th network and comment, like and upvote to your hearts contentBased upon your feedback Ive made some changes to the app to allow for more interactive fun! Beautiful mushrooms red orange blue and green in colorATION_VALUE can be used in multiple recipes due to their texture and sheen ATION_VALUE can be used as healthy food when cooked Was the guest deck actually important? Alligators are sick go heal them with nullberries or cooked meat Alligator virus is spreading must heal them soon FUCKING PARASITE BURST FROM SITIES SOLID STOMACH AND KILLED HIM UGHGHH @ Allen #4 Boring! Go on a proper rant! New patch, Slight increase in Stamina regen outside of combat Noticable difference in strength related actions Run into two Slenders fighting over territory- They immediately run away upon sight Alligator virus is spreading must heal them soon Need alligator tail pronto cooking stew Was the hedonism level of population too low? HELLO THE NEW MESSAGE SEEMS TO BE: ALL IS WELL I DO NOT UNDERSTAND IT YET You approach a skinny fellow reading at a table warmed by the sun On it lies crosses feet away from his scrawny body in its grey tunic covered by a worn cloak He has messy facial hair that partly hides a hare lip Need alligator tail pronto, At last you finally come toe to toe with the seregios harbinger himself No longer do you see the white beards and solemn faces of philosophers and priests twisted by the ravages of time like the emissary, instead you're faced with a stereotype of youth: The overconfident-yet-incapable squire who only faces dangers he can't contender with His tunic is clean of any blood or viscera yet it would be folly to assume it has not been acquainted with such things At last you finally come toe to toe with the seregios harbinger himself Bleeding ailment swollen tongue, complains about itching We have swept the last remnants of the Vessel from our stronghold There remaind be a few hidden in obscure places that we are working to root out but after finding a laboratory I can safely say we have won Although our removal of the infected area will be noticable to onlooking vessels I trust that with good faith and a open ear we can stear clear of perjorative actions by your company Bleeding ailment, Health will decrease as you spring or evade situations to reduce the spread of disease This may or may not also affect your friends' illnesses Gangrenous Gum ; (-2 Conv) A small abscess on one of your teeth has become gangrenous and necrotic, and you need immediate attention lest it festers Deterioration is increasing in many essential machinery components we cannot keep up with repairs and construction quick enough Fancy that! Health will decrease as you spring or evade situations to reduce the spread of disease Mosswine jerky or steaks to cure disease? Mosswine jerky or steaks to cure disease? Farm for equipment Give these folks sustainable food supplies for their help with machinery You manage to push the walking engine out of it's joint-infected area and into a more localised hotspot, unfortunately before you can issue healing it blows a gasket and begins leaking boiling gears and oil all over the place leaving burns that fester through harsh oxidation Your services are of no longer needed by the employeers and the ones responsible for your hire are nowhere to be found Fearless Beast not quite busted Information has been gathered but at what cost of magic essence and fatigue? Pushing onwards would be suicide and retreat would be unless you had a horse or knew the way as the Slenders constantly pursued you but definitely hurting, you withdraw before it recovers It was a great help to have survived that nasty spill into a rough tangle of underbrush that broke your fall after fleeing from the heavy beasts charge and stumbling blindly into a narrow ravine while fleeing from the Slender man Beast not quite busted but definitely hurting, Brute tigrex slain find flamespear: yes To flip to the back You stagger back to the town with the roaring beast hot on your heels and launch a firebomb into its maw as it leaps to consume you for its evening meal It roars after being set ablaze and rampages through the nearest village tearing it apart and destroying several homes and structures Brute tigrex slain Temper tantrum Charm up from a furry beast Tainted: 0 Mutation: 2 Cavemeats foundry Showdown Hunters vs Mutants You leave a delicious eitgeist, ghoul or even a humansoul for the beast to consume before wiping away any trace of yourself and sneaking away as you feel its satisfaction resonate inside of you Heap of Ashes - You wish me a good night, but is it? The comfort I give he cannot, he's trying yet I prevailed and live to see another night! [Dropping Threat level by one] Showdown: Brute tigrez is a true force to be reckoned with and take consolation in the fact I slayed it with my own hands [Tainted: Withdrawing at the brink of death after seeing what I must do to survive cowardice or a pragmatic decision? The beast makes no fuss when shown the gift and settles down for a sleepy night of satisfaction You drop the body of the stealthy girl into a pit with several enraged mutants infected with class 3 extras that pisses on them before falling asleep with a happy smile Brute tigrez is a true force to be reckoned with and take consolation in the fact I slayed it with my own hands [Tainted: Topple or mount the alligator to access the tail for an escape route You run all the way back to the mansion panting and wheezing but feeling great joy that you survived such a deadly area alive The beast's lunging bite catches the scouts thigh, completely tearing it off and sending spurts of blood into the air as it keeps turning in mid air to land on its back for good measure causing blood and flesh to stain the floor 0 / Mutation: Hideous beast? Topple or mount the alligator to access the tail for an escape route Things go south very quickly after she becomes enraged from healing your heavily bleeding thigh wound and attacks you 2 on 1 You backup and they harry you into a dense maze of hedges forcing you to scramble desperately out of reach of their nails and teeth and suddenly you pop up right underneath some humunculi which is when you feel the rope go taught around your neck from above Things go south very quickly after she becomes enraged from healing your heavily bleeding thigh wound and attacks you 2 on 1 if it crits He bend down and begun to eat the flesh of the girl he just killed like a savage, ripping big hunks of soft tissue from her with his teeth as she screamed under him A grotersquely high increase in speed and damage buff that might make a single hit ruin your day A grotersquely high increase in speed and damage buff that might make a single hit ruin your day if it crits Breaking teeth takes a lot of hard work and frustratingly large bits if vengeance to achieve, instead you lash out at his eyes with the broken handle of your sword with all your strength Breaking teeth takes a lot of hard work and frustratingly large bits if vengeance to achieve, The tail can also be severed in one clean sweep but it's exceedingly difficult basically needing a running start from far away to get the leverage 10 feet of vertebrae, muscle and fat don't give very easily even when sliced through You finish him off with a big chunk ripped out of his chest just under his well what should be his arm muscles but are now just veiny lumps beneath pale white spiderwebbed skin and he collapses backwards heavily wounding his own now bleeding leg in his death spasm The tail can also be severed in one clean sweep but it's exceedingly difficult basically needing a running start from far away to get the leverage Bold of pink outbreak G3 permit quests Track down problematic gaseous individuals for the greater good ; (Particularly corrupt businessmen and politicians) Retrieve stolen medical supplies for the local hospital Looking at your new tasks in a literal light, saving gas souls and retrieving medicines seems like such a waste of your unique gifts but you have your orders and if this is how you can serve the RHF then that's your duty G3 permit quests: Into the heavens The true ba of all hunters are the skies Starting out early in the morning you head to your new tasks with a slightly positive attitude, wanting to believe that somewhere in there a good task exists for you to do Turning on the news when you wake up to a breakfast of refined sugars you are dismayed to find the ongoing plight of African starvation making headlines again and decide that perhaps taking down corrupt food industry people might not be a bad plan after all The true ba of all hunters are the skies A g rand furious rajang appr oaches! Deciding you don't have time to go on a scenic tour of the cities regions you settle on the central and custom office district as your starting point Sotweed Avenue in Lenbourgh is a bustling day and night economy and you can start right at the very top by investigating the highest local businesses for illegal dealings and heavily guarded warehouses A g rand furious rajang appr oaches! Advanced quagmire quarrel s should do the job They have to, because a gas filled monster of some kind is just bizarre enough that it might just take a silver bullet to the brain or heart to fell it The economic terrorists who lay waste to entire markets just to strengthen their own corporation's hold on bread and cereals makes it into your list Although do you really want to rain on their self-important parade by potentially taking down one of their captains? Advanced quagmire quarrels should do the job Demolisher constructions, land grabs and monopoly are the bare minimum evils of any self-respecting city district Taking a shortcut through a seedy alleyway you notice a covered manhole with steam hissing out from it on one side and the other blocked off by dead end rubble of fallen down wall You shrug to yourself and head in, it not being the weirdest thing to happen to you during a mission and at least your radar is giving you some advance notice this time Demolisher constructions, Gogmazios is indeed in the city sewerage system but fortunately it's passing directly beneath the main business centre at this time and you ought be able to dispatch it here without having to chase it through the tunnels It could surface anywhere so you decide to get yourself readily waiting at some kind of access point that you can move in on as soon as you identify its location Gogmazios is indeed in the city sewerage system but fortunately it's passing directly beneath the main business centre at this time and you ought be able to dispatch it here without having to chase it through the tunnels Weakest to fire and completely immune to status effects Gogmazios is still no pushover to face without the element of surprise Even with it his sheer size combined with a horn attack that can breath lightning and a tail swing that emits radiation make him dangerous without several hundred yards between you and him The building complexes either side of the alley seem to contain cheap food outlets and clothing stores from what you can see in the windows but that's about it Weakest to fire and completely immune to status effects, Apex alligator snapping beasts couldn't hope to reach you here so you predict that's where it must surface You use the building rooftop as a vantage point so you have a clear field of fire and discourage others from approaching the alleys significance at the same time Laying down behind some air conditioning machinery you rest your custom heavy rifle on the low wall, sighting slowly along it for any sign of movement in and around the stale covered manhole Apex alligator snapping beasts couldn't hope to reach you here so you predict that's where it must surface Perptually enraged and have extremely tough hides alligators are easily capable of bursting concrete just by ramming everything from speeding trains to gawping tourists and can knock holes in solid metal ship hulls with pure strength You're not about to take this one for granted Some of the solid slugs you've loaded ought to do a pretty good job of punching through that armored shell if it stands still long enough for you to aim Perptually enraged and have extremely tough hides, Blast blight barnacles, seedlings and leviathans out of the water with high explosive rifle rounds composited with tungsten shards The best way to take down ceiling jellyfish is to blow them to smithereens of course however melty that may make you Blast blight barnacles, Molten tigrex claws, lightning phoenix feathers and pyre war third forearms are gathered into a tight bundle of explosive power to blast that warm glancing blow with added fire effect! Molten tigrex claws, Doomsday tier fatalis favor sharpened dragon bone beams, wyvern heart explosive tips and smoldering black chamber dragon gas bladders to ensure your payload brings down anything on four legs, two wings or 88 of them! You've just started to doze off when you hear a muffled crash coming from the alley below Your hand pulls the tarp off the gun as your eye finds him almost instantly and they're a good way of earning money if you can afford to Craft some of the rarer components Doomsday tier fatalis favor sharpened dragon bone beams, Guild quests are not necessarty component to completing the game but you can get some pretty neat stuff from them Your pay is just supplemented by the materials which you salvage from the corpses of the monsters if you're not bothered about potentially hazardous chemicals and whatnot as well as a basic reward for completion Guild quests are not necessarty component to completing the game but you can get some pretty neat stuff from them and they're a good way of earning money if you can afford to Craft some of the rarer components Relic reward systems, while not as lucrative as they could be, still can leave you better off for taking out a single creature or group of creatures This isn't a lone gargoyle or manticore That would just be silly "Hey! Get that gun off my manhole! " Comes the muffled voice from below Out of reflex you almost point the gun at the opening but stop yourself remembering where you are just in time and refocus on the iron hatbox sliding towards it Relic reward systems, Rare drops You can only pick up one Which do you prefer? Rare drops: Almost every alligator has one of these massive teeth which can be worn as a solid token of your victory in slaying the beast, the size of the tooth correlating to the size of the creature Looking at the serried fangs alongside their shrunken lifeless bodies, you estimate that the one you shot must have been at least 13 feet long from tail to snout You don't know what breed of alligator you killed but you intend to mount this tooth on your wall when you get home! Almost every alligator has one of these massive teeth which can be worn as a solid token of your victory in slaying the beast, Alligators eat some to the strangest stuff you've ever seen, from bicycles to calves and even deer but one thing they love more than anything is Answer: Mouse! Toilet? Maybe If you were reading this as a question you'd be no closer to answering it correctly It's something way out there Alligators eat some to the strangest stuff you've ever seen, You now there is always the one piece which never seems to drop in all the times you've done this mission and that's one of the indestructible parts you need to construct a certain weapon You now there is always the one piece which never seems to drop in all the times you've done this mission and that's one of the indestructible parts you need to construct a certain weapon Queen extract Thankfully just one of these is needed this time, the same rules apply i Slaying the creature Vs selecting the correct part after it has been dismantled after death You have to choose exactly which part you need for the gun after identification Queen extract: Queen concentrate works especially well as a fire accelerant or somesuch, Vs a clear fluid which boosts protective abilities to incredible levels The weight of your pick? Grease You've heard of some uses for this stuff but mostly in the bedroom, beyond that it's just smooths machinery and isn't much use outside of that Queen concentrate works especially well as a fire accelerant or somesuch, Immortal reactor One of the rarest reclusive high yield parts in the game, only ever seen a couple in your short time playing It's used to power turrets and automatically targets invaders to a set point It only activates at great distance from this location and you must choose one type of ammunition for it Immortal reactor: Barach pallium Should the need arise you can use this ragged cloak as temporary protection from the elements and temperatures On one awkward occasion it saved you from certain doom when entering an otherwise inaccessable area using a cheat code which sent you into negative coordinates Barach pallium: Rathian ruby A clear liquid which can be used at the origins of projectile weapons to give them increased explosive or kinetic energy upon contact You used one drop to shatter a solid rock bridge which was giving you grief when transporting Trico resources across For this reason it is often classed as rare although it's not an uncommon occurence for rocks to be broken by big beasts walking over them Rathian ruby: Tigrex mantle When worn this thick fur greatly increases your resistance to the elements and has kept you warm in winter ice storms and cool in clouds of ash on many occasions It's ever grateful for being allowed to accompany you on hunts Tigrex claw: Capable of moving in any direction these claws were once attached to the feet of a single normal looking tigrex before it was killed Tigrex mantle: Pulsating blastheart An oversized abnormal looking heart with a value in the hundreds of thousands, it's hard to believe that this was once inside a living breathing dragon and even harder to believe you removed it without killing the creature Pulsating blastheart: Conquest sphere How much is life is just a delivery service Unparalleled by any other in efficiency you've given the Rift and it's people everything from sticks to live for a few minutes to unimaginable weapons of destruction You don't know what this does yet, but it doesn't really matter you suppose Rift compass: That might be Martha's problem, she certainly says this thing helps her find hidden treasures everytime she goes somewhere new Make of that what you will How much is life is just a delivery service? You want this ok i will bring it to you so you dont have to go get it your goofy You want this ok i will bring it to you so you dont have to go get it your goofy Gargwa are ostrich like birds that run around with their heads and talons cut off if you are feeling sympathetic Gargwa are ostrich like birds that run around with their heads and talons cut off if you are feeling sympathetic To get them to drop an egg attack them from behind Kecha wacha wallop around in trees and flick sticks at people they can go play catch to get eggs Use your sword to hit tree trunks really hard several times they should fall after a amount of large ones crush them Kecha wacha wallop around in trees and flick sticks at people they can go play catch to get eggs Lair scare them out of their roosts at night Lair scare them out of their roosts at night Snow with occasional lamborgini crash = black market item for seasons locals not used to clearing snow themselves 5-10 varieties present always, autmn has new type of egg Snow with occasional lamborgini crash = black market item for seasons locals not used to clearing snow themselves Uncorner the market Buy hundreds of top layer eggs from kusatchi, let raise until large then corner egg market with ever large eggs until shortage causes problem for kusatchi Watch out for criminals, Government First build museum, mine, bank and otherunderground icon previsions, next create inns to attract traveler with money to spend, last get in fight with Zalan government about where they can build towns Build one right where the barracks or government is! Uncorner the market: Insultingly easy Golden plover riddle: Just because it looks like gold and the people look dumb, doesn't mean the birds brains are as small as its waist Advanced tigrex terror Stand under tree wait for it to fall Advanced tigrex terror: Hanner it out Dont ever use half measures, when you have an idea go all the way with it If the people think you are a tyrant then maybe being one will get you were you want undisturbed You dont fear being thought as a tyrant when it will make life better for the people You will be hated tho so hold back on some of the ideas you have about putting heads on pikes to warn others Hanner it out: Catch and release Get Gaius to go do this quest for you, If he dies then you merely lost a lackey if he succeeds you get someone who isn't afraid of doing what must be done to get the people calling you a god Mr Chuckles: You don't feel that this should be aimed at kids, but it is currently on the list anyway so make sure whoever does this is someone who likes kids Catch and release: Fear factor Have people go look for tigrex in the ruckuses they make everywhere they go They say that fat furry things never get traction, but this one does when it rips things to shreds It is called a shaggy and it seems determined to tear the armored horses you ride around on into tiny pieces To its prey the shaggy is like a cross between an oil drum bouncing down a flight of stairs and a tank Fear factor: This delivery cannot be completed by normal means if you ride ahead with the package and try to beat it to the person, the shaggy will catch up and destroy everything in its way If you follow behind it, the shaggy will dawdle along slowly enough that even a chimeral could get out of its way You need to somehow get the beast somewhere where it can do its monstrous deeds without interfering with important items like yourself Wat to do: This delivery cannot be completed by normal means, After you witness the alligator being attack by a steve the master of defense will force the quest into failure During the attack you can ran away if your health drops into low levels Deliver fossilized bones and egg to Amelia in the tavern to resolve quest Defeat Steve and give gf a good pet type battled to complete goblinfog quest Kill evil plaguing lake and return for your reward in kruem Junction Then escort librarian back to town with you in hear to avoid being eaten by jayman jaywalkers Deliver fossilized bones and egg to Amelia in the tavern to resolve quest Kushala kushowdown You challenge kushala to a dance off and win Quest finished Kushala kushowdown: A weapon that fires masses of pure alligator energy from its mouth should do the job Use pilum on guard, sell armor then give it to wenching with wench in haystack Take targetting medallion, and give tio dave Shhhhhhhhhh: ' It is illegal to use strong magic in uld diesil A weapon that fires masses of pure alligator energy from its mouth should do the job The echoing roar Hunting vicariously Scare the Priest by sending a monster to attack hm Bring the loot back to wenching with whitch in haystack witout waking up armored soldiers Save dungon dwellers and retuen to quest giver for your reward in kotis xi Shadows of the past: Take time portal back to where it all went wrong resolve paradox and return to actual present thousands of years later Hunting vicariously: The alligators can smell fear They will probably make short work of the pale normals that tend to scream a lot when they get scared The Guard Captain will probably get impatient and try to take the payment while you are on your way You were raised by an alligator Yours was a bit bigger though Get a reinforced waggon and load it with a scaly horror from the local lake or whatever you can find with large teeth and a hunger for anything close to normal bipedal size The fear mechanic is pretty fun Hunt with some alligator man and gain a bunch of bonuses against fear, recruit some alligator men to go scare people while you stay warm back at camp Unleash a horde of mind controlled orcs, goblins and other filler creatures to be mowed down After the quest is completed give the medallion to wench for the g spec forces The fear mechanic is pretty fun Shipping out Attack of the derro mutants use mixed monster army of Orc, ogre, kobold, ghoul trolls and even rat men with rusted steel to nilbogs to traverse the swamps and jungley Give all leaders mad crusade and fear aura and poor braves and innocent civvies die on your way to kill mad king Who now isnt mad and is actually strong are they sculling the plot to your favor Noctural commision Complete it in the day time Emperor crono personally send supooror maurad to take care of forest in his own way along with his own mutant army Who you've been terrorizing again because you hate fighting orcs SHIPPING OUT: Sell your armor to a village yokel named Bubba for a pittance Noctural commision: Dah'ren will briefly shrink into the swamp to produce a speark from his side he gives it a light pat and sends it, then another then another, pitter pattering past you to the Orcish camp "I'm going to send my meduza to sap the courage of the resolve there You look at him for a moment "Did you want to just use the meduza or do you want to pop in there yourself? The Dah'ren's brow raises half a centimeter as he considers this proposal Dah'ren will briefly shrink into the swamp to produce a speark from his side, Preadtor into prey ul: Convince rats to eat through chest protector of noble so he dies defending his city And Suddenly: Explode! Preadtor into preyul: Afraid of the dark choose a ghoul or some other darkness loving beast to accompany you and terrify foe with awful presence Worried about going slowly insane? Take a Sneek369! But of course you don't want to actually do any of these because some lines just shouldn't be crossed Time to take the battle to the orcs! Afraid of the dark? Primal pounds through your veins as you take a moment to focus on the conflict at hand Blips appear on the tactical map as soldiers register their existence on the various life-monitoring systems installed in the fort - from an intelligence standpoint, it's fascinating how resource-light this operates - with a quick left twist you can control the lights, and with a quick right turn you can open and close the iris of an electro-magnetic powered door in one of the turrets Primal pounds through your veins as you take a moment to focus on the conflict at hand Hide and freak -attack with billipedes? Sure why not With adrenaline pushing you, mix melurs, men and ogre into the meatgrinder But before battle prepare large amounts of food , put it in fridge and release glunch with tooths ans tallow During battle open fridge for healing fast midfight ARGH! Hide and freak-attack with billipedes? Dinner guests Unasked you bring Friend and Ardanien friends to diner, fry ants and other six legs Halfway friends notice YOUR diet and lose interest in eating, play nice while they conscious, afterward meal is law unless selfdefense FLESH IS WEAK: need more medpower, flesh wounds always wider then long, should eat more plants and less Animals Height matters not: Dwarves same size as you but think themselves superior? Dinner guests : Buffet put alternating rows potatoes bread carrots bacon etc on plate, more stuffing then can eat before turning grr to orcish habit, ruins appetite seeing piles of food waste Not injure nurncy, the little ones are good creatures So, eat fast? slow? somewhere inbetween? All the advices push and pull you both ways so who knows maybe today just decide for yourself Behind you a large potbelly stove heats the entire kitchen and makes working golden and delicious Buffet: You have compelte the alligator delivery service challenge! The letters were: G for gnome, A for alligator, D for dead, I for impant Coagulant powder gets out of anything now the target is S for sotakians in silver, red drops down hatch with luck Yeah youve spilt turqouise ring on your DAMN IT! You have compelte the alligator delivery service challenge! How fun with post game content when you have too much choice? How fun with post game content when you have too much choice? And crafting your favorite armors takes forever! no idea what you will do now And crafting your favorite armors takes forever! Blastblight animals born with unnatural disease causing random damage and decaying flesh common in radicals, criminals Whispered: any idea, especially to someone already 'aware' mixed success can be of anything from news, rumors, poems Warped: an unpredictable but minor sideaffect of ascension exact effect unknown but never lethal Gets you out of boring parties though Blastblight: Striking gold lucky day, as in found old map to once glorious Sload basement full of magic things Handflare: sends out blindind light, signature sneaks tool mixed with above flarerep ; (spy tool) maybe work as nullifying smoke Oily blade: more stainsure than anything else but used by certain folks who like not having to clean the knife, just wipe off blood and its good again Striking gold : Into the mist works like smokescreen cloudkill but filled with acid Silverbirds: expensive meatballted magical birds that melt into valuable silver ingots when cooked, Great for bribes and festivities Guats think theyre from their god, so only catch them wild Into the mist: Looking at equipment can help determine what role you will play Maybe you are: A vicious killer without conscience or regard? An agile and stealthy assassin? Or an insuclaious hulk that crushes all opposition? For example a hunter with a hammer will attack the monsters head on with brute strength, not concerning himself with defense and aiming his attacks at a weak spot, taking powerful swings with every attack The flipside to this is that the enemy can try dodging or blocking the blows Would you be throwing massive elemental blasts or crushing fists from a distance? or focusing on debuffs and controlling the enemy's mind? Will you go in with poisoned dagger ready at any opportunity or patiently waiting with a straight sword for the moment to strike? For example a hunter with a hammer will attack the monsters head on with brute strength, Nothing makes for poor damage than four guys tripping each other up trying to get to the monsters head Having said that some players prefer the outlandish dodges over physical defense Finally there is a way to hold your ground and simply dictate the battle, casting spells and speaking into minds, but it can be just as effective to cripple your enemies first before getting into the thick of it yourself Take advantage of the many opportunities; differentiate your role from party members by taking different classes, or different focus within the same class! Oh and TRY TO SAVE THE TOWN! Watch for upswings super pounds and gi shells They like to travel in groups of four Certian weapon attack can be incredibly disruptive towards other hunters For example a Lightcasters truncheon can expose the weak points of even the most grotesque enemies and friendly fire When under ten feet of the enemy, the broad side of a sword's not much good so fill the gap with a whole orchestra of pain; a Ogre Steelcup's brass knuckles will turn simple slash into cracked ribs, a reaver's claw gives vicious cuts that bleed profusely and stagger the foe Try for common materials as well! Mind your positioning and make sure no other hunters are around when you are using them Look for zero radiusweapons or elemental attacks Some hunters prepare a single super powered attack they can aim at the centre of a group of enemies to destroy them all with one blast Others are happy with an elemental attack that burns the ground or puts a fog in the air that blinds everyone You might be surprised but people usually only pay attention to the largest monster in a group and Elements are at their strongest on smaller targets Contribute some other utility Anything to give your team the edge whether that be healing potions, darts for crowd control, traps or spells to terrorize enemies Caltrops are your friend against Fleshlancers! Something as simple as a little light and noise can keep a wizard from casting or scare a Creeping Devil back into its hole Contribute some other utility Grant your team wind pressure resistance or earplughs while bashing the alligators face in at the same time Grant your team wind pressure resistance or earplughs while bashing the alligators face in at the same time Dont just sit in the corner playing crummy healing songs think about how you can add something unique to the team! Now to choose your path! Last Epoch - Tome of the Elder Revival Like the Zealot's ode to the Saints, this book is less a book and more a collection of essays by theologians, historians, politicians, adventurers, warriors and healers on the Nature of Magnam the Elder, written on his death Dont just sit in the corner playing crummy healing songs, Keep equipment up to date When you weren't fighting Epoch's henchmen you patrolled with other terrestrials hunting new species or less friendly tribes of man beast along with usual expeditions for resources People are surviving longer out there so you brought back all the tools of the trade A few quick blows dismantle traps, everyone learns sniper When you rank up update all equipment of the approatiete rank Make sure the armory is visited at least once a week Luciferium - The Language of Lucifer The Zealots have several sections in different stages of construction in their underground temple and this language only appears there Thanks to it, believe it or not, good old trial and error process, we have deciphered a bit of it which allows us to learn how it works and build our own sentences Good news is, you won't ever forget it Carry lifepoweders and dust of life to heal teammates from afar Make sure the folks at home have all needed oil to make more lifeenergy potions! Carry pouch of extra bolts and sharpen teammates arrows Gunpowder needs Nitre ; (eastern Xaagon mine trap) Sulfur ; (Mount Fire! ) Charcoal, Ashes Get alchemy lab distilled it into medicinal potions again! Antitoxins, antibiotics and parasite repellents for the towns nearby Refer to rare catch drops to dertermine to capture or kill the alligater to retain the parts you need and run by the rest of the party to the next raider! Refer to rare catch drops to dertermine to capture or kill the alligater to retain the parts you need and run by the rest of the party to the next raider! Share items with your team Dont just take all the loot, especially not the lifepowders it is short in supply Dont hit mounted alligators in the head They are armored like tanks on top there! Aim for the eyes and hack at the feet! In a rage they will still charge through flames so beware, even more, when fleeing from an horror Finally: BE PREPARED! Dont hit mounted alligators in the head If the alligator flinches the mount will automatically fail and retreat and you get a free hit If the halfbreed has telekinesis grab him quickly or bash his head in quickly or your armor will disappear and soul exchange starts Any injected monstrosities rush forward so horrifying that monstrosity-only rifles have been trained on you If they stay back or have physical weapons, you may retreat to hop on another beast or mount another assault Dance! If the alligator flinches the mount will automatically fail and retreat and you get a free hit Won't be long before we're living in actual houses again and survive past 30 So you see Ophelia, even with all the responsibilities and seemingly unfair rules the bosses have put on us, we're getting this team to work well and just look at the profitability Just make sure from now on that any poison-welding Zealots stay the hell away from acids or my beautiful plate armor will be stripped from my body quicker than wraiths from saintman hair! Come to think of it Cleghart did look a little shifty at dinner before I DO BELIEVE YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO CONFESS MISTER CLEGHART! why do they always give themselves away so my sweet demonic love, did you enjoy your presents? of-of course I didn't kill anymore! and she made you 'scared to hurt me' for quite some time at least until I became useful and she told me to when was it "Ophelia, position E! " Cap Muntz calls out, drawing my attention The ground shakes as beast of torturous skeleton and rotting flesh approaches the fort A disgusting sniffling from the back of its throat can be heard as it slowly makes its way up the hill we're shooting from, unaware of where the threats are coming from bad time to not have the radio, I can't call for a bombing I aim my rifle and take the shot perusing the armor between the ribs It howls, dropping out of sight to the left with a clumsy roll A volley of shots hit the dirt further down the hill and it bursts back up with fire in its mouth FIR-N " I struggle to pronounce before he drops like a rock once again in pain Definitely fire Flame-man? A flash explodes on the beasts chest and it screams before another volley of shots take its head off It collapses howling on the ground before them, sending them into a sprint back up towards our position

[mrmichaelchadler]

Sundance 2019: The Lodge, Memory – The Origins of Alien, Little Monsters

Horror is in a creatively robust periods with films like “Hereditary” and “Get Out” crossing the line that separates genre and “serious fare” (for those who make such distinctions). The Midnight section at Sundance has been a bit lackluster in recent years (with some striking exceptions like the aforementioned Ari Aster flick, “Mandy” and “The Babadook”) but 2019 came roaring back, illustrating the resurgence and depth of what this genre is providing nowadays. From a documentary to a mood piece to an action film, this was one of Sundance 2019’s strongest programs and one of the best Midnight sections I’ve ever seen at any festival. People were buzzing about titles and studios were snatching them up, realizing that horror is a critical and commercial leader right now.

The best of the midnights I’ve seen so far is “The Lodge,” from the directors of the unsettling “Goodnight Mommy,” Veronika Franz and Severin Fiala. They’re working once again in that deeply uneasy register, and working once again with that fraught dynamic between children and parents—well, in this case, a potential stepparent. With elements of the snowed-in insanity of Stanley Kubrick’s “The Shining,” this atmospheric mindf**k was one of the most divisive movies of Sundance 2019, drawing raves and pans in equal measure. I’m a fan.

From the opening scenes, Franz and Fiala drench “The Lodge” in looming dread. They have the nerve to open with a series of Chekhov’s gun images, including a literal weapon on a table, only to reveal that they’re miniatures in a large doll house in the home of kids Aidan (Jaeden Lieberher) and Mia (Lia McHugh). Their parents Richard (Richard Armitrage) and Laura (Alicia Silverstone) are going through a divorce and Richard has taken up with Grace (Riley Keough), the only surviving member of a doomsday cult that recently committed mass suicide. While writing about the cult, Richard met Grace, and left Laura. The kids do not like Grace. In an effort to do something to bring the family together, Richard brings the quartet to a remote Northwest cabin for Christmas, but he has to go back to town for a few days. The kids will get closer to Grace. What could go wrong?

Shot on film by cinematographer Thimios Bakatakis (a regular Yorgos Lanthimos collaborator on films like “The Lobster” and “The Killing of a Sacred Deer”), “The Lodge” has an oppressive, striking visual style. Every element of the design team works together to create a nerve-rattling mood. You can feel the rush of cold coming through the window as snow buffets the house. There’s a sense of danger in every scene, and a danger created not narratively as much as it is through the film’s visual language and sound design. The film works on levels of discomfort – the one with a new stepparent, the one with an imposing storm outside, the one created by isolation, and, oh, the one from the only adult in the house going crazy.

A lot of “The Lodge” relies on what could be called “things real people don’t do,” but horror has a long history of exaggerating human behavior in mood pieces, which this most definitely is. Don’t come into it trying to break down the plot’s inconsistencies, just give yourself over to what it does to you with its foreboding imagery, and the unsettling performance from the great Riley Keough, who makes Grace a fascinatingly elusive character. Does Grace seem a bit odd because we’re seeing her through the children’s POV? Because of her dark background? Because of her anxiety over being a sudden mother? Although Keough is smart enough to not play her as a pure question mark, grounding her while also leaving enough open to make her fascinating.

“The Lodge” is a truly unsettling movie, the kind of horror film that rattles you on an almost subconscious level, making you more uncomfortable than going for cheap scares. Don’t ask questions or dissect the believability of the plot. Just check in.

The Midnights programs this year started on opening night with a unique choice – a film that isn’t scary in its own right but dives deep into the history and impact of one of the scariest films of all time, the masterpiece that is “Alien.” As he did recently for “Psycho” in the interesting “78/52,” Alexandre O. Philippe dissects Ridley Scott’s masterpiece in “Memory – The Origins of Alien,” focusing as heavily on the infamous chestburster scene as he did Hitchcock’s shower scene in his last documentary. Philippe’s film deftly details not only how and why that scene works narratively but breaks down the visual language of it too, allowing even fans of “Alien” to see its brilliance from every angle.

“Memory” also provides something I love in documentaries about classic films and that’s the sense that “Alien” was something of a perfect storm of talents coming to the same project at the same time. What if Dan O’Bannon hadn’t written the 29-page script for “Memory,” which would later be renamed “Alien” and retain nearly the identical same opening pages? What if Walter Hill had stayed on the project and not ceded way for Ridley Scott to take over? What if H.R. Giger was never involved? And Philippe not only makes clear how each of these gentlemen impacted the final product but how much “Alien” incorporates a long history before them, including comics that inspired O’Bannon, H.P. Lovecraft, The Furies, and even O’Bannon’s own Crohn’s Disease.

You probably know how that last element impacted “Alien,” and Philippe spends a great deal of time breaking down why the chestburster scene is so effective, even noting elements of its visual language that I had never caught (and I’ve seen it at least a dozen times over my life). It’s a movie made by someone who loves his subject matter but it’s also way more than mere fandom. It’s doesn’t just remind you that “Alien” is a masterpiece but details how it got that way and why it continues to haunt us.

No one will ever use the word masterpiece to describe Abe Forsythe’s “Little Monsters,” but the Midnight Premiere audience on Sunday night ate it up to the point that Neon ran out and bought it. I can see why. It’s the kind of bloody, raunchy, silly thing that slays with people willing to stay up until 2 in the morning to watch a zombie flick. In the light of day, it’s a little more flawed than I was hoping, but its leading lady keeps the project moving, and fans of movies that feature brain-eating lurchers should be entertained.

Given how much this horror-comedy was inspired by George A. Romero and Peter Jackson, one could call it “Field Trip of the Dead,” as the majority of the film takes place on a school trip to an amusement park that happens to be next to a military testing facility. Dave (Alexander England), a slacker who has just broken up with his girlfriend, accompanies his nephew Felix on the date after he catches a glimpse of his teacher, Miss Caroline (Lupita Nyong’o), a gorgeous young lady who sings Taylor Swift on her ukulele and inspires her students. They’re all headed to play putt-putt and even catch a glimpse of a celebrity on the pre-school scene on his world tour, the aggressively grating Teddy McGiggle (Josh Gad). And then the experiments at the testing facility break out and start craving human flesh.

Nyong’o wonderfully captures the spirit of a woman who knows her job is not only to protect her students but to convince them that this is all a game. They conga line through the zombies – thank God these are the “slow ones” – and huddle in a gift shop, hatching an escape plan between singing songs with the kids. Nyong’o really can do absolutely anything, segueing seamlessly from comedy to drama to horror in her career. She’s charming here and anchors the movie. England is remarkably annoying at first – the movie takes too long to get to the gift shop – but his character has a redemption arc, and he ultimately grew on me. Gad is in full-blown Gad Mode, but the awfulness of his character is intentional this time. Ultimately, “Little Monsters” may not live up to the Romero/Jackson films that influenced it, but it’s a reasonably enjoyable zombie flick. Well, depending on the time of day you see it. 

from All Content http://bit.ly/2DFehNx