#we were really robbed of more opportunities to see these two b words go at it

[x-mensirens]

"How sweet, girlfriend to the rescue."

"You got that right, lady!"

[yandere-sins]

Charred

Horrortober Day 7: Shock “You look like a deer caught in the headlights.”

Ah yes. Angels. Complicated beings, I love them. Randomizer sure gave me an interesting combination for this day, but I am not complaining :D Also, if you are one of the people leaving a comment on my posts, please just know you are everything. I love you ♥ Even if they are in the tags, I am so happy to read your thoughts and feelings, it really helps so much to stay positive and motivated! ;;

Warnings: Yandere, Kidnapping, Corrupted Angel, Mild violent outburst Characters: Simeon x Reader

Angels aren't human.

How could you have forgotten?

Running through this godforsaken hallway, you were constantly blinded by lights. Little remnants of Simeon's power, one you didn't know he had. "I should have known better," you thought as you shielded your eyes from another flash caused by an orb to your left. If only the holy magic Simeon was able to use wasn't that harmful to your vision. If only he wouldn't use it on you. If only you never let it come this far.

But how could you have known? You thought you two were friends and like-minded people when you got closer to Simeon as you two attended RAD as exchange students. You weren't that kind of sinner; you never gave yourself hope there could be anything beyond friendship. And you weren't looking for it either. But to dismiss his exalted status as well, that one was on you. Of course he could use magic that was dangerous to you, especially with how little Simeon could understand human emotions.

Sure, he could crack a smile at a joke, show sadness, and give comfort, but he only did what he learned to do, feigning his sympathy. He didn't mean to hurt anyone with it, but it just wasn't in him to feel as humans do, or else it was threatening to defile them. Angels aren't human, they couldn't feel emotions like you did, and when they did, well, this is what happened.

Simeon was a mess. He was beside himself, trying to figure out what was wrenching his body. Ironically, it had been Lucifer who warned you about this. He kept himself brief when talking about angels and corruption, not wanting to open his own wounds. But he still made a point to tell you that it was overwhelming and maddening to have lived for centuries and only then regaining an emotional conscience. It war pain. Suffering. A change that would take months and years to overcome.

And it was all the scarier how quiet it made Simeon.

He didn't tell you what was happening, and you didn't notice it, busy with your duties and the brothers. You should have seen it! You blamed yourself for not being more careful as his friend, but it was already too late. When he started to demand more of your time and attention, glaring at the others for taking up his space by your side, it should have rung some alarm bells. It was almost painfully obvious that him getting more touchy when you were together and antsy when you pulled away was a warning of what was to come. Maybe you chose to ignore it. Perhaps you thought your friendship could survive him being irrational and angry, snapping at you and others at times.

But by the time Simeon became what he wasn't supposed to be, he had already kidnapped you somewhere strange and magical, just as twisted and scary as he was now. It was like an endless dark, ancient castle. Rooms with high ceilings and tall windows looking into the nothingness around the building. The insides were decorated, but the colors everywhere were constantly shifting, nauseatingly so. Sometimes white, sometimes grey. Gold accents, then copper. The temperature was hot when you were awake and cold when you slept. You knew it was magical and tied to Simeon, but that made it all the more uncomfortable and scary. You didn't want to experience this. You never asked for it! Part of you knew what was going on, and it made the realization worse.

There had been moments of clarity in his eyes when you pleaded with him to get a grip, but they fogged over with emotions an angel shouldn't have. When you tried to reason with him, he got jealous over the argument that others would come looking at you. "You're mine!" he screamed, and then his eyes cleared as he regretted his words, leaving you alone abruptly before you could say another word. He was ashamed and scared, you had seen it in his expression, but he still came back as if nothing happened.

On the surface, he was still the Simeon you knew. The one you loved. But he was so quickly offended and angered by now that you only grew more worried every day. Suddenly he started locking your room or would sit and watch you sleep, and you were scared of this angel that wasn't an angel anymore.

So… you ran.

At the first opportunity, you ran. The hallway seemed endless, and you didn't know where you were going. Flashes went off every few steps, and you ran into a few amenities blindly. Even if it was pure madness and wouldn't help either of you, you couldn't do this. The longer you stayed, the worse Simeon got. You needed to find help for him—and for you. That was the only way. The others would know what to do! They could do something for Simeon that you weren't able to, give him stability and support him in these hard times. You were just a human and didn't know if Simeon could remain an angel after all that happened, but if he could, that's what you wished for him from the bottom of your heart. You never intended any of this to happen, and secretly, you didn't want to be the reason for it.

"AH!" with a loud shriek, you were caught by a slice of light right in front of you. It was like a slit opening up, but even brighter than the orbs that had exploded before that. You could recognize magic when you saw it by now. Simeon's magic. Flashy, dazzling, unbefitting of the tumult he was going through. Simeon was far stronger than you expected him to be, but you realized now that you took his calm and sweet demeanor for weakness, when really, it was mercy.

Tumbling backwards, you landed on your side, your arm throbbing as you slowly tried to get up again. It should have shocked you more to see the person slowly stepping out of the light, but you could barely see anyway, only recognizing the voice as he spoke up. "My, you look like a deer caught in the headlights."

Finally, the light shining at you terrifyingly bright vanished, leaving only you two behind in the warped hallway. It took you a few blinks to recover from it, tiny sparks flying through your vision when you looked up at Simeon. Other than the dark corridor, Simeon was wearing his pristine, white clothes. Pure and amiable. Nothing like the inner tumult he was battling, and still, he looked nothing like the Simeon you knew. The kind Simeon. The one you loved.

You feared he was already gone.

Around you, the colors of the castle shifted to nightmarish black while accents turned into a deep red, all while you and Simeon never broke eye contact. He was walking towards you, hand on his chest and smiling in greeting. You once loved his reassuring smiles, the encouraging message they delivered. But this one was menacing and cold, as was his voice when he spoke up again.

"Where are you going?" he asked curtly, right to the point. Biting your lip, you only looked away. You wanted to argue, but good could come out of that? When you cracked your room's lock, you thought it would take him longer to find out. Long enough for you to form a plan, but it only now crossed your minds that the lights you encountered could have been like security cameras for Simeon to check in the case you ever did break out.

"There is no leaving this place, my dove. You know this. Why are you testing me."

"Why are you keeping me here?" you asked the same question he ignored so many times. Though this time, he indeed had something to say to it.

"It's dangerous out there. Demons will get to you, blemish your skin with their marks and rob you of your life. Aren't you worried at all?"

"I'd like to see for myself what I can do out there," you retorted firmly. "I think you're losing it, Simeon. You are nothing like you were when we were students."

Confronting him may not have been the best idea as his once so kind eyes turned moody, smile turning into a frown as you mentioned the past. "No, I am better. I can protect you now. I take care of you. You owe me more respect if you think I've gone mad. The only thing making me mad is you!"

Gulping, you looked at him. He was prideful now too. It was painful for you.

Simeon was slipping further and further. Every passing second was destroying him.

"Simeon, please," you whispered, pleading with him from the bottom of your heart. "I want to help you! B-But I don't know how! I need help to help you, I need to get out!"

"You're not going anywhere," he decided, cutting his hand through the air in a gesture signaling finality to his word. Kneeling down before you, he pulled you roughly into his chest, pressing your head against him. If there was any good that came out of the change, perhaps it was how open he was now to touches. You longed for this, for something longer than just a hug when you two met. But your heart was throbbing out of devastation now, rather than jumping from joy.

"Please get help," you pleaded, gripping his clothes. "I won't leave you, but please ask the brothers or Lord Diavolo for help, Simeon!"

"Never say their names again," he hissed at you, an unfamiliar hostility in his voice that brought you to tears. But Simeon held you as you cried into his chest. His comfort wasn't helpful, but what else did you have to cling to? If not for him, you would be alone and abandoned in this realm, and you had to painfully admit that he was indeed taking care of you. Good care. In his own, twisted way.

While you were still crying, Simeon carried you back to your room, laid you in your bed, and tugged you in. He did so with a frown deeply lodged on his beautiful face, the wrinkles so unfitting for an angel. But a small hope remained inside of you that you crying would make him see reason. Instead, he sat by your bedside as you two stared at each other, eventually muttering that he was going to get you some food before leaning down and kissing your forehead. You hated this affection. Actually, you hated that it was under these circumstances.

When Simeon got up, he left you without another look back over his shoulders, and you sniffled, the tears never drying out as you looked after him. So cold, so… lonely. He was in pain too, he must have been. If only there was a way to reverse it. To make him see reason and to calm his aching. You wished you could have helped him, at least a little bit. As a human, was there nothing you could do? Maybe just take some of the sins he was living through! As normal as they were for you, they were killing him from the inside.

The intense light from before flashed up as he opened the door to your room, blinding and stinging in your eyes. Still, you were already crying, and it was hard to avoid your gaze from Simeon even now. It was the first time you noticed his wings, usually concealed by magic, but as he used them, they came into plain view. You had believed until the last second that maybe there was a way to help him. To save him from this. But you were a little wiser as you looked at the feathers sprouting from his back. His beautiful, large wings. 

Charred-black.

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt.10)

WOW we did it folks. 10 parts to an essay that we're like. a quarter of the way done with. That's pretty great! More or less, by the time you finish reading this post, you'll have read 35k words worth of analysis and I'll have spent countless hours writing it. What amazing dedication we have to this manga! We should get an anime reboot as a reward!

Anyway, let's go crazy stupid trying to wrap up this arc, where we can see the extent of Natsume's selflessness. As we approach the end, something will happen to make Natsume's plans to distance himself from Mikan very difficult. Let us begin!

Also I've been forgetting to put trigger warnings up for these but I put them on the first few so hopefully you know they're all like that. Child abuse is a huge topic we'll cover throughout, as well as all the consequences that come with it, so be wary.

Chapter Forty-One

Medusa--Mihara-san--is amused to see that the frightening, powerful, and awe-inspiring “Black Cat”, who demonstrates a trained command of his alice despite wearing an alice-restraining mask on missions, is actually just a little kid.

Natsume doesn’t care about being impressive; he cuts to the chase, asking where Mikan is. Medusa makes his comments, but Natsume stays on his point: his new mission is to save Mikan, after all. Though keeping Mikan and Ruka safe had been his personal mission from the get-go. But just as Natsume isn’t interested in anything Medusa has to say if it isn’t about Mikan, Medusa isn’t interested in any topic that is about Mikan. So the small talk ends and Shiki is commanded to test the kids’ abilities.

Natsume cares about one thing right now and it isn't his DA alias.

They are in the midst of some kind of battle or standoff when Mikan reappears, safe. She calls out to them, excited to see them again. Ruka and Tsubasa are happy to see her safe as well, so they call out too. Natsume is not as thrilled. He’s good at staying on mission and keeping his attention on the dangers around him, like Shiki and Medusa, as well as the countless other Z members, all with mystery alices.

Mikan suddenly appearing and making herself known is dangerous, and she’s immediately under attack, unwittingly. He runs to protect her, using his alice as a barrier between them and the man who just tried to hurt her, but when he turns back to look at Mikan, he’s livid.

The art in this scene is so gorgeous, I could stare it forever. Look at how silky Natsume's hair is. Pretty.

Tsubasa and Ruka have never been on a mission like this. They were just eager to see Mikan unharmed. She was also just excited to see her friends again after being separated. But Natsume knows better. On a mission, you have to stay vigilant and always careful, and Mikan was careless. He yells at her, scolding her. But even through his emotions, he stays vigilant, protecting her even more when the enemy tries to take advantage of the distraction.

This is what he came for, not just to be the brains and keep them on track throughout the journey, but also to protect them, because that’s what he always does, what his priority always is. He will use his alice to ward off enemy attacks, and use his body as a shield, even if he winds up exhausted and bleeding and hurt. And he is.

But he still tells Mikan to stay behind him, to stay safe, so he can properly protect her this time, because he couldn’t do it before.

He doesn’t expect Mikan to get up and tell him that he doesn’t have to worry. She doesn’t want or need him to protect her; instead she wants to help him. She tells him, for once, that he doesn’t have to be the only one hurt anymore. He’s understandably surprised to hear this, because it means that someone other than Ruka has been paying attention. She understands that he’s been through the wringer, and she doesn’t want to just sit back and benefit from his effort without giving anything back. But more than just saying she’ll take on the brunt of things for him, she wants to help. She wants to be his strength, not a burden on him.

She has been noticing him, even the things he doesn't want her to notice.

This shocks him enough that it actually distracts him from his vigilance, and suddenly it appears that Ruka is in danger. He leaves her side just long enough for her to be captured by Shiki instead, and immediately teleported to Medusa’s side. They needed to get Mikan out of the way, after all, so that Medusa could use his alice, which he immediately uses to petrify Tsubasa’s leg.

Chapter Forty-Two

Right off the bat, we’re shown just how much the stakes have risen. Medusa’s alice is deadly, not just dangerous, and he’s already managed to hit Tsubasa with it. His next command is to have Yuka steal the kids’ alices, and to start with Natsume. It would make things easier on him, anyway, Medusa says, obviously privy to the idea that a child like Natsume wouldn’t want to be a child soldier at all, unlike Reo who mused that maybe Natsume would be more content with just a change of employer.

But Yuka makes it clear that her alice isn’t strong enough to steal all of the alices at once, trying to spare the kids from losing their abilities. So Medusa then goes to a Plan B, convincing the kids that his alice will only be temporarily affecting them until they agree to work for Z. After all, Natsume can’t really use his alice when Medusa has Mikan in his clutches. He’s been in this situation before, practically living in it, having the lives and happiness of his loved ones held over his head so that he will be pliant. Medusa comments that he loves torturing people like him, and he must not be the only one, since Natsume’s been tortured in this way for years now.

Ruka is hit in the shoulder while trying to shield Tsubasa from another attack from Medusa, and the shoulder region is particularly life-threatening, as it’s close to the heart and he might die from the loss of blood flow soon. Of course, this sets Natsume into berserk mode, but before he can use his alice, he coughs violently. This gives Medusa an opportunity to strike Natsume in his dominant arm, his left one.

He tries to use his alice, despite being at a new disadvantage, and still angry from what’s happening to Ruka. So his leg gets hit too.

Medusa gets temporarily incapacitated by Mikan’s nullification, so he sends Yuka to steal Natsume’s alice, which should be a walk in the park because he’s lost control of his arm and leg, so he can’t run away.

It’s here that Natsume reveals to the reader the secret he’s been keeping for the past few days, the one that we must now keep as well, that Mikan is Yuka’s daughter.

This is another one of those situations, where the stars align in all the wrong ways. Something you've always wanted is within grasp, but there's too many reasons not to take it.

Natsume stands there, unable to move, and ponders his situation as Mikan desperately screams for him to run away.

He wonders if he was waiting for this exact moment, if that’s the reason he came along at all, so that he could meet Yuka and have her steal his alice away.

Earlier, Natsume left a conversation about losing alices because it was too painful. He doesn’t feel the same way about his that the rest of them do. It’s not some fond part of him that he can’t stand to lose. He hates it. It’s been a hindrance since the day he was born. People of all sorts of organizations, including the government operated Academy and terrorist organizations like Z, have coveted his power. It’s put his loved ones in danger. It’s made his life a living hell. He’s been robbed of a fun childhood, of smiles and friendship, of peace. It’s stolen opportunity from him, so he can’t even feel free to pursue a crush, or make bonds freely, or let himself laugh. It stole his future from him, and he dies a little bit more every day. He won’t live long enough to go on a date, graduate, get married, get a normal job, have kids, grow old. He might not even make it to middle school, and he knows it. He lives his whole life in eternal emotional, physical, and mental agony. He’s always under the gun, always careful, always selfless, always defensive.

Why would anyone want that?

And this is his chance to lose it all. Things could be easier, better, safer. He could lose it and finally exhale. He could go back home to his dad. He could be an actual kid for once. Yuka could steal his alice and all of his responsibilities and the deadweight he’s been carrying on his back for his whole life could be gone.

Of course he almost lets her steal it.

But Mikan has been screaming in anguish for him to run away, and he remembers what she said when she saved him during the Reo Arc: that it was too late to give up, and that they should return to the academy together, because a bright future must be waiting for them.

And because of that, Natsume makes his first move to escape Yuka’s alice.

Does Natsume really want a future if his friends and loved ones would still be in danger? Would it be worth it if he was safe, if it came at the price of their safety? If Natsume doesn’t use his alice to keep them safe and protected, then who will? Who can?

Natsume smacking Yuka’s hand away isn’t selfish. It’s not him realizing he wants to keep his alice, that maybe deep down, he might actually love it. It’s not dear to him in any way. It’s still the thing that wears his body down and forces him to cough up blood. No, this act is selfless, yet again, because his own happiness and even his life come dead last to him. He has to keep them all safe after all.

Yuka snatches his wrist anyway, ready to steal his alice away, until she realizes she can’t. Mikan is using her alice from all the way across the room to protect Natsume.

So basically, the idea of Natsume leaving the academy causes this kind of reaction in Mikan, something Natsume has no choice but to see for what it is: fondness.

He looks at her with surprise, because this is an act of affection. Mikan has just used her alice to keep him with her. His life isn’t in danger, but she wants him to stick around. Now more than ever, Natsume can see proof that she cares about him, even despite all the bullying he’s done, despite all the mean words he’s thrown her way, even after he told her cruelly that he hates every single thing about her. Up until now, Natsume had no reason to believe she was doing anything but tolerating him, and though that was the outcome he was working for, deep down he does want the girl he likes to have some fondness for him too. This is the first time Natsume can really see that he means something to her too, as more than just a classmate or a partner. He is someone she doesn't want to part with.

And Mikan has fulfilled her wish, to be Natsume’s strength, because now Natsume is able to yell at her to duck and blow up the wall behind her.

Usually such huge explosions are the result of him at his angriest, using his ability to punish the people who hurt his loved ones. He’s probably also done similar things on missions, maybe even when he’s completely calm. But this time Natsume is weaker than ever, his dominant left arm completely out of commission, unable to move, under duress. He finds the strength to cause that explosion because of Mikan, because she wants him around.

While everyone is distracted, Natsume tells Yuka to go help Mikan, hinting that he knows her secret.

So Yuka stabs Mihara-san and has the petrified kids lick his blood off the blade. It’s confusing to the other kids why she would do this, but Natsume knows exactly why.

It would be interesting to see more interaction between Yuka and Natsume. Surely Yuka knows that Natsume is Kaoru’s son? It would be interesting to see if she noticed that his name matches Mikan’s. What does she think of him? What might their dynamic be like? I will always mourn that we’ll never find out.

Chapter Forty-Three

This chapter is the one that should officially designate this manga into the “tragedy” category. Yes, there’s been some heavy and deep stuff so far, most having to do with Natsume and the heavy abuse he deals with, but even with all that it’s managed to be mainly a cheerful and upbeat story. This chapter makes it clear that horrible and heart-wrenching things can and will happen, that we can’t count on a happy ending every time.

The kids are close to escape. They’re about to head through a warp zone back to school, and it’s urgent they move fast because the hide-out they’re in is currently imploding. Unfortunately, Mikan has dropped the antidote to the bullet that hit Hotaru, so she refuses to leave until she’s retrieved it from under a pile of rubble.

Pengy finally has a chance to prove itself, wriggling under and saving the antidote for Hotaru. It has helped Mikan, and because that’s the best thing someone can do, Natsume is grateful.

Natsume's smile (even a small one like this) has incredible powers, like giving robots a feeling of self-worth, making his classmates fall in love with him, and making me think he is a good boy. It would be irresponsible to overuse it.

Just like when Tsubasa showed his worth back at the high school division when he used his alice to help Mikan, Natsume has a new respect for Pengy, who was able to do something amazing to help the group, and Mikan especially. So he gives Pengy a slight smile. It’s really subtle and nothing outstanding on anybody else, but it’s a rare thing to get from Natsume, even for those whom he loves. “I guess you can be a little useful,” he says. This is the best sign of appreciation someone can get from him, and Pengy glows for a moment (ahh… the power of Natsume’s smile), until things fall apart.

The floor gives way under Mikan’s feet. They’re able to pull Mikan up, but Pengy is still too far to reach. Despite Mikan’s desperation, Pengy understands that they’re wasting time trying to reach it. Finally, after Pengy has proven its use to Natsume, it refuses to be a hindrance again, and sacrifices itself so that everyone can safely return the antidote to Hotaru.

They’re all through the tunnel, hit with the knowledge that Pengy is gone. They all react somewhat differently, but Natsume feels guilt.

Pengy's smile has evil powers because it makes me cry.

Natsume had considered Pengy a robot, something unfeeling and mechanical, just a useless thing Hotaru made once. It was something that could be discarded, and after it had proven to be troublesome, he’d even advocated that it should be discarded. He’d considered it useless all along, but when it really counted, Pengy was able to save Mikan and the antidote. It proved not only that it could be useful, but that it wasn’t just another mechanical robot. When Natsume smiled at it, it smiled back. And in its final act of sacrifice, it acted out of love for both Hotaru and Mikan, and Natsume feels sorry for what he’d said about it.

Natsume has a habit for establishing a bad impression of someone, and then having that person work hard to prove themselves to him. Pengy is one example, but he’s like this with Tsubasa, Mikan, and all sorts of people at first. People (and robots) that he despises until they show him what they’re really made of, winning his respect and sometimes even affection. It makes sense he would be so distrustful, seeing the life he has to live. Trusting the wrong person can get you hurt sometimes, and can lead to disaster. And having something useless like Pengy can cause a mission to fail. But Natsume is sometimes wrong about his first impression of a person, and the same qualities that could lead him to believe something is useless or annoying can end up being strengths that he respects.

Chapter Forty-Five

Yes, I skipped 44 because that’s more noteworthy as a Mikan chapter. Natsume doesn’t do anything I found particularly intriguing and I didn’t want to make anything up or repeat myself. In fact, for the rest of this arc, there’s very little left for me to say, so I apologize if this is a short analysis to conclude with.

The first thing we’ll address is the ESP and Persona discussing the insubordination that has just occurred. Yes, an injured student has safely recovered, and a Z hideout has been destroyed, but it wasn’t their plan for things to happen that way. Narumi needs a warning, for one. Natsume, according to Persona, needs simply to be punished back into obedience. From the way Persona talks about him, we can see how little he thinks of Natsume, how easy he can be to manipulate and control, which is all he is good for anyway. To them, Natsume is nothing more than a pawn in their game. Sure, he’s a useful pawn, the Black Cat that strikes fear into the hearts of the school’s enemies and successfully completes his missions even with a punishment mask on, but he’s still just a pawn. Nothing more.

While watching Mikan and Hotaru’s reunion, Tsubasa teases Natsume about joining the group hug. Natsume ignores him, and makes to walk away, but stops just long enough to toss his healing alice necklace to him. Tsubasa can borrow it to make up for having Subaru put Natsume’s injuries first. He makes it clear that he doesn’t want anybody looking after him, and that might seem like a snub, but this is kindness too. Natsume calls Tsubasa by his name, though he’ll do his best to avoid ever saying it again, and lends him a source of comfort and healing to pay back Tsubasa’s compassion. This is a growing moment, because Natsume has opened himself up to the idea that he could care about more people, even if it means more to lose.

Saying people's names is another rare magic from Natsume, I guess.

Natsume has learned things on this mission too, just like Mikan has. He’s a bit more open-minded now. He judged both Tsubasa and Pengy, and ended up changing his mind about them both, even if only by a little. He’s also discovered that Mikan has affection for him too, and it will completely undo all the effort he’s so far tried to make in distancing himself. It’s one thing to stay away from the girl you like when she hardly stands you. It’s another thing when she enjoys your company, and your feelings are turning into love. His feelings have intensified, or maybe they were always so intense but are just newly solidified, as he’s not hiding from them as much anymore.

He won’t be able to distance himself from her anymore, so he’ll completely stop trying.

Conclusion

Natsume has realized that Mikan holds a degree of fondness for him too, and because he is now very deeply in love with her, he will not be able to stay away like he'd resolved to before. Tomorrow we will begin our essay with Natsume's birthday, a very exciting way to start looking at his new approach to his relationship with Mikan.

The last essay (pt. 9) in particular inspired people to tell me that they were learning new things about Natsume, and as a result even loving him more, and that makes me so happy! Natsume is one of my favorite characters ever, and I want people to love him as much as I do! I love when people leave comments or questions! Really, I'm just so happy and over the moon that people are reading and enjoying, because again--this is a LOT of words. It's a long essay, and it means so much not just that people want to read about Natsume and his feelings for Mikan, but that they want to hear what I have to say about it! Thank you so much for supporting me! Isn't it exciting that we're about a quarter through? <3

I can’t put a song in the tags cuz I have too many tags. So. Church by Fall Out Boy.

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[mrslackles]

what do you think are gg's biggest flaws?

Ooh, Anon! It’s like you’re in my head. 

I’m busy making a video (that will probably never see the light of day) about this --  my distance from the show has really helped with some super objective clarity -- so I’ll use my notes from that to help me answer. 

I’ll preface this by saying what I was most shocked by after putting down all the points was that Rio isn’t even mentioned until really far down??

Anyway, let's get into it.

These are Good Girls' greatest flaws in my opinion (and relative to season 1 -- while I think it had its flaws too, the list is far smaller and I think that's a separate post)

1. It didn't stick to its guns

What set this show apart from others in the 'Everyday person does crime (poorly)' genre was its comedic lightness, strong friendship element, relatability and emphasis on girl power.

a) By season 2, the lightness was already slowly disappearing to make way for season 3's darkness. (Quite literally; this show said sunlight scenes for WHO.) It also stopped being as fun. Remember how it genuinely used to be fun? I mean let's not forget The Best Scene Ever where Ruby shoots Big Mike by accident and we all laughed our asses off. (Compare and contrast to a similar-in-tone-and-context scene -- or even the whole episode -- like Boomer popping up behind them as Rio's package in season 3.) I think season 3 had some great lines and laughs, but in general, the fun element was completely missing for me.

b) As was the friendship. We already know Annie and Ruby basically became Beth's backup dancers in season 2, but at least then they still seemed to have some type of agency. In season 3, they rarely question Beth's (truly questionable) decisions, don't talk to her about shit like why she's still with her horrible husband and have very few true friendship moments as they did in season 1.

c) Which made it less relatable, but what also contributed was the major plot holes (it's less easy to relate when you're constantly having to remind yourself to suspend your disbelief). And, to be honest, their stupid actions. Just the most common-sense things weren't followed, like not taking your children to a crack den or not putting a hit out on a gang leader. It's frustrating watching a TV show -- where characters are supposed to learn things, have arcs and improve over time -- and feeling like you have more logical sense than all the main characters in every scene. (WHO would think a hitman was going to use a sniper rifle on people in broad daylight on the side of the road???)

d) You don't have to look any further than the title or the stans who shout "THE SHOW IS ABOUT THE GIRLS" -- or, hell, the first 10 seconds of the show where Sara is literally talking about the glass ceiling -- to know that the main characters being women is very important to the show. If not formally feminist, it was at least supposed to be empowering or feel like "girl power" (a term I hate, but we won't get into that now).

And I think it did it pretty well in season 1 -- it actually played on my favourite theme of the show, which is the world's perception of these women being what ultimately allows them to get away with so much. (Rife with opportunities for commentary about white privilege, but also a genius way to upend patriarchal beliefs.) But more and more it seemed like the show was asking you to accept empowerment as simply "these things are being done by women, yay".

And, well.

2. Its marketing

I'll keep this one short because I think we all know how messed up this situation is. Basically they're selling a show (every week!) that they're not making while ignoring all feedback on every social media platform. Which brings us to...

3. The marriage of Death

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times -- Beth's character development starts with getting rid of Dean. Her growth is stunted by him on multiple fronts and it's frustrating to viewers since she's constantly put forth as the main character. Not to mention how the audience, separately from Beth, was originally conditioned to see Dean as the scum of the earth (think of scenes like him crashing his car because he was perving on a woman jogging) so keeping them together is really... a choice. To actively root for this marriage (which seems like what the show wants, at least for the protracted moment) means either thinking Dean is a great person (which, as I said, we've only seen the opposite of) or believing he's all Beth deserves. Which leads me to...

4. Beth's (socio)path(y)

Is sociopath a 'good' word? Probably not. Have I seen dozens upon dozens of posts talking about whether Beth is one? Yes. And I see it from a huge variety of people -- from viewers who just binged the show last weekend to those who've been watching for years, the question keeps coming up. And I entirely blame the writing of the show that, by the way, I don't believe is deliberately creating Beth to get this reaction. I think she's written (and, to an extent, acted) in a way that is much too aloof and I'm not convinced it's meant to come off as cold and unfeeling as it does. Everything else leads me to believe that the audience is supposed to root for Beth, but it's just so difficult.

Beth does a lot of messed up shit that requires dialogue to sympathise with her and the inner workings of her mind, but in the later seasons Beth rarely gets to express herself verbally. And every time she does get to speak about her emotions, the dialogue is a pick-your-own-adventure between "She's in so much denial", "This person feels no emotions" and "I'll go find an analysis/fic later to explain this" (scenes like "Nothing" or "I was just bored"). Compare and contrast with some of the great scenes in season 1 where she emotes, like her paralysing shock after they first rob the store or admitting she enjoys crime, or (one of my favourites!) the one in the park where she's mimicking the other mothers beside her.

5. Brio

I said in the beginning that I was shocked Rio doesn't get mentioned until this point and that's because I've always felt like he was an integral part of the show. When people say the show is about the girls, they're truncating -- the show is about the girls getting into crime. That crime is represented by Rio over and over again -- they never bring in another criminal at his level (which is another one of its flaws, but that's also a different post); Rio is it.

And though I stand by Rio's importance, the truth is that Brio isn't as essential to the show, by which I mean that if all of the above were done well, it wouldn't be as sorely missed. In lieu of riveting plot, a fun friendship, character development and empowerment, most viewers have glommed onto Brio like a lifeboat (or ship, heh).

Unfortunately it's also what the show has most stubbornly refused to develop significantly.

It's honestly a toss-up for why I feel Brio is a flaw: is the flaw that they got together? That they never got together well enough? That the writing keeps bringing in these 'chemistry-filled' scenes that are ultimately filled with air?

I don't know. Maybe all of them; maybe just one, depending on the day.

6. Its criticism falls flat without intersectionality

This is a big one because Good Girls is *trying* to do something very clever. As mentioned previously, my favourite theme of the show is how the women's apparent innocence/vulnerability in the eyes of society is their biggest strength. The show plays with this and other interesting themes with varying levels of success, but ultimately they all fall a little flat when they don't feel intersectional.

When Ruby gets sidelined. When Turner, who sees and all but calls out by name Beth's privilege, is portrayed as the villain. When Rio is told he's gonna "pop a cap" in his young child's "ass". When the racist grandma becomes a sympathetic character whom we must later grieve. (And she really didn't have to be racist, now that I think about it? It was just that one line for laughs and that was it.) When, despite the real-world implications, Dean can loudly announce in a store that he's buying a gun to kill someone with and the show just glides past it. When Ruby has to grovel for forgiveness from Beth for trying to protect her husband and family from the system, with no acknowledgement from Beth about how their realities are different. When Rhea gets booted off the show as soon as she's done serving Beth's plot. When Rio gets treated like a prostitute for absolutely no reason. (Oh, and is accused of raping Beth and is literally spoken of as an animal and starts only existing in zero dim lighting as a one-dimensional stereotype... the list goes on.)

7. PR/The actors

I'll risk my life here to sprinkle this in because I do think it's a massive problem. The Manny/Christina of it all is just the tip of the iceberg (although wtf Good Girls? There's nothing you could do to get these two into an interview together??). The main actors do the bare minimum to promote the show and it's weird. I also think it's the height of unprofessionalism to keep characters on the show against the wishes of the majority of the audience just because you enjoy their actors (Boomer confirmed; Dean highly suspected). While, on the flip side of the coin, limiting a character's screentime because you aren't best buddies with them. Having less and less Rio when he's such a fan favourite is dumb; as is not including him in any series marketing material. It feels personal and that isn't how a TV show should be run.

8. The entire hair and wardrobe department needs a stern talking-to

[iturbide]

What do you think could have been done to improve 3H? Given the budget/time, what changes would you have done? Also, what elements do you consider KEY to a good story?

fffffff I would have done so many things differently in 3H it requires a read more but to your second question: I feel that characters are a key element of a good story. Possibly the most crucial element, to me. You can have the most epic, incredible plot in the world -- but if the characters taking part in it aren't interesting or able to engage the reader, then the story loses a huge part of its impact. It's only by caring about the people taking part that a reader can get invested in the story and its outcome; if you don't care about what happens to someone (either in a good or a bad way) then you're at best apathetic to the events, at worst bored by them.

Frankly everything else in a story -- narrative structure, conflict, etc -- is so malleable that I can't consider it key. You can easily make stories that have no classic conflict if you have characters that people care about, because just watching them interact with the world and each other can be beautifully engaging. So at least to me, the key is in the characters: whether you love them and want them to succeed or love to hate them and want to see them get their just desserts, they're the ones that do the heavy lifting in a story, so making sure they're compelling is one of the most important things to me when writing.

As for 3H though I have a lot of changes I would make. Throughout the whole game.

Academy Phase

Giving each House their own unique set of missions. I feel that part of why the Azure Moon route is considered so strong is because it's the most character driven, something that starts in the Academy Phase: everything from Lonato's rebellion to Miklan's theft of the Gautier Relic are highly personal to the Blue Lions students, with Ashe being Lonato's adoptive son and Miklan being Sylvain's estranged older brother (and someone who's well-known to Dimitri, Felix, and Ingrid on top of it). While these are both important events, for the Black Eagles and the Golden Deer there's not the same level of personal engagement: it's just a thing that's happening rather than a devastating blow to the students we love. While there are certainly missions that can and should stay the same (the raid on Seiros' tomb, Flayn's kidnapping, the Remire incident, etc.) having select missions be personalized by House to give that same level of engagement would have made for a far stronger narrative, since it enhances the player's connection with the students of their chosen House.

Just as an example: for the Black Eagles, rather than putting down Lonato's rebellion, maybe have their mission be aiding a small sect of the Church in the Empire that's being plagued by monsters or bandits. It gives us the chance to learn more of the history between the Church of Seiros and the Adrestian Empire, how close they were and how it fell apart a century before the game; Rhea might explain that she wants to improve these failing relations by having Imperial students go to aid this disconnected branch, and in private Edelgard could hint at her distrust of the institution and of Rhea herself even if she is following orders. Not only that, we could hear on returning that the Blue Lions students accompanied the Knights of Seiros in dealing with Lonato's rebellion, so we still get the fallout from those events and have a reason to choose the Blue Lions in another run.

Another example: for the Golden Deer, rather than going after Miklan and witnessing his transformation, maybe a report arrives that someone stole Failnaught and task the Alliance students with retrieving it. It lets us learn more about the situation in the Alliance, giving more details about Duke Oswald's situation, Claude's appointment as the heir to the Riegan House...and while he would never do it personally, have there be subtle implications but no hard proof that Duke Gloucester is behind the theft, just as he was the death of Claude's Uncle; on top of that, we could still get a battle against a Black Beast when Failnaught transforms the bandit, giving Claude a very personal look at how dangerous these Relics can be (something he likely wouldn't have had deep insight into, given his Almyran roots). And again, on returning to the monastery we could see the Blue Lions dealing with the fallout from Miklan.

More interaction between the House Leaders in general. There are only a handful of scenes where all three of them interact together, and I can only think of one instance where they're even in each other's company at the monastery (Claude and Dimitri in one of the early chapters). Having more of these moments where they're apparently interacting on the grounds or where we can see them together in cutscenes, giving us more insight into the leaders of the other Houses we didn't pick, would give us a lot more investment in them as people and make the eventual revelations at the end of the Academy Phase hit a lot harder.

Especially with Claude's ambition being what it is, it would have been a far better show of his character to have him hanging out with different students every month -- not just from his own House like Hilda, but from other Houses. Have him be talking with Petra in the dining hall one month, or with Annette at the reception hall another; if you sided with the Black Eagles or the Blue Lions, it would be very easy to suspect that he's up to tricks and trying to figure out individual weaknesses...but if you picked the Golden Deer, you'd likely realize very quickly that he's got no ulterior motives because you've been seeing him in action and getting Supports with him.

More Supports period. We were robbed of some fascinating interactions, like Ashe and Dorothea or Dedue and Petra, and some really strong Support chains stop before they reach their full potential (several Sylvain supports, including Marianne and Bernadetta). I want to see so many more of these and I would add in a ton if given half an opportunity.

Giving Byleth more agency. This bleeds over into the War Phase, too, but one of my biggest complaints about the game is how limited the response options are, especially when it comes to Edelgard and her frightening rhetoric as early as chapter 3. Give us more options with real varied outcomes, rather than it changing one immediate line of dialogue; give us real dialogue trees rather than minutely altered responses so that we have an opportunity to affect change. This runs the risk of drastically altering Byleth's relationship with the various House Leaders, but that potential is undeniably fascinating in and of itself.

War Phase

Azure Moon: Make Dimitri's turn more gradual. Show him grappling with Rodrigue's words more, have more scenes where he and Byleth talk and he tries to work through his understandably complicated feelings. It doesn't even have to take that much longer, honestly: every week for the next month, give us an extra cutscene and let there be a small change in how you can interact with him. For example, maybe he still doesn't attend the round table in the first week, but you do have the option of assigning him to a task around the monastery; in the second week if you explore, you have the option to invite him to a meal; in the third week he finally attends the roundtable and you're able to work on his skills again; and in the fourth week his supports finally unlock.

Azure Moon: Make Claude recruitable. Don't have him leave Failnaught and go waltzing back to Almyra, have him actually head up the Alliance in this time of need and volunteer to join forces with the Kingdom forces. You can have the option of turning him down, if you really want, at which point he might leave Lorenz in charge and go back home, but give us the option of bringing him on board along with any other former Deer that fought with him at Derdriu -- and furthermore, let us have some supports with Dedue and Dimitri to go with it. Ideally those Support chains would be available in the Academy phase and maybe you'd have the recruitment option only if Dimitr's Support level with Claude is at least a B (since you can get to A during the Academy Phase but not unlock it until the War Phase as I experienced many times). But still: Claude recruitment. Yes.

Verdant Wind: Make Dimitri recruitable. Having him die offscreen after Gronder is absolutely terrible, especially since we know for a fact that at least two people from the Alliance army saw what was either going to happen or directly happening. At the end of the battle, give us an option of going after Dimitri: if you choose not to, he still dies, but if you do you have the opportunity to save him and recruit any other former Lions with him. As abve, Supports between Claude and Dimitri would be great, and you could even keep Dimitri's Supports locked for a while and include scenes of Byleth and/or Claude and Dimitri talking and working with him until he starts turning around the way he does in Azure Moon. Dimitri's death in Verdant Wind is a travesty and it needs to be changed.

Verdant Wind: More character stuff in general. One of the things that makes Azure Moon such a strong route is that it's so deeply character-driven. Verdant Wind is much more plot-driven, and while it's still strong, it could have been more impactful if the characters were more directly affected and/or we got to see more of their individual actions. For instance: after securing Myrddin, have weekly missions where you actually go along and meet with the Great Lords and discuss with them before the final round table. Have Byleth and Claude go with Lorenz to talk to Count Gloucester and try to get his buy-in, and give us more dialogue trees where Byleth can contribute (for better or for worse) so that in the end you either get his full agreement or only grudging consideration because Lorenz intervenes. Get us engaged, show us more of the situation in the Alliance, and let us have a role in moving from this uneasy state of neutrality to full agreement that it's time to take action.

Silver Snow: A unique story in general. Basically everything in the route is a weaker copy of the events in Verdant Wind, and regardless of which came first, Verdant Wind handles the events in a way that makes more logical and narrative sense than Silver Snow does. So even if things could be changed in Verdant Wind to make it stronger and more unique, Silver Snow needs the most work and ideally should have a new plot made just for them that gives the Knights of Seiros a chance to really shine.

Silver Snow: More for Seteth to do period. Despite the fact that he's ostensibly our Lord stand-in for the route (since he's the one who meets you after the timeskip, where it's either Claude, Dimitri, or Edelgard who does in the other routes), he barely has a chance to do anything and doesn't make much of an impact on the route overall. Silver Snow could -- and ostensibly should -- give him a chance to showcase his talents and stand as a unique and engaging character, since his role in the Academy Phase was so minor; relegating him to the same general role in Silver Snow does him a great injustice.

Crimson Flower: Have Edelgard suffer consequences. This is one of my biggest complaints with the game on the whole: that Crimson Flower goes out of is way to glorify imperialism and Edelgard gets a rosy perfect ending with nothing ever going wrong according to her endcards. Logically the way she achieved her goal would have led to massive dissent, unrest, and civil conflict in the territories she conquered and subjugated; her route needs to show that, and make it clear that there are in fact consequences for her actions, both within the original Adrestian territry and without in the newly conquered ones.

Crimson Flower: Deal with the damn Agarthans. Given that she knows about them in detail the way neither of her fellow House Lords did, it's an absolute travesty that we never saw her go after them in her route: all she did was show her hand too early and cause hundreds of senseless deaths when the Agarthans fired on Arianrhod. Her route should have ended with a conflict against the Agarthan menace -- and likely a very hard one, harder even than the battle against Rhea, because she left them for too long and gave them time to bolster their defenses before she arrived. And given that she's killed Rhea, the end of that conflict would likely be a massive loss of life when Thales bombs Shambhala -- further consequences for her actions.

All Routes: Give Byleth agency. This is especially pertinent in CF where canon reduced Byleth to Edelgard's enabler: give them a chance to fight her, push back against things that either don't make sense or are only going to hurt people, argue and maybe force her to change her mind or see another viewpoint rather than continuing to barrel down a path of bloodshed and loss because she selfishly decided that war was the only way. But giving Byleth that same agency in other routes would be equally powerful: let them talk candidly with Dimitri, let them encourage Claude to trust his companions and reveal his Almyran heritage, just...let them have a chance to be their own person, with complicated relationships and the ability to speak freely.

[katsukikitten]

Thirsty

A/N Please enjoy what I’ve been self indulging all week.  It was a cliche but fun concept to write! @bakugotrashpanda​ this is the fiction I was dming you about bb. Yall readers leave your thoughts pls bb enjoy~

Warnings: Aged Up/18+ AU, Vampire AU, blood, intense sex, mentions of marking.

He hasn't fed in days, no make that fucking weeks.

Months even although he has tried.

Hoping some stupid fool would venture out during this pandemic and now mandatory quarantine.

Not that the threat of the disease mattered to him, his body would correct whatever ailment in a matter of seconds.

And he needed to eat.

But as usual he has some shit luck. Not a single soul left on the once packed streets.

And there you sit all the temptation in the world, your sweet scent was already hard enough to endure during the few hours you were normally home. Causing the ash blonde to avoid any of the "community" spaces of the dingy shared apartment.

Only agreeing to have you move in since you has claimed you would hardly be home as you were too busy with work.

So busy in fact you could never come by to see the place in person. Further encouraging the angry recluse's decision.

But had you ever come in person he would have denied you, turned you away no matter the price you were willing to pay.

And especially so if you begged.

Because you fucking reeked.

So repulsively pungent that after just meeting you his throat closed up, eyes narrowing to slits as he felt a deep ache within him.

Going out that very night draining three people drops from dry.

Fuck, who was he fucking fooling?

He never liked liars and he was never good at lying either.

You were far from repulsive really.

You were fucking delectable, irresistible.

Sweet scent lingering in the apartment for hours, clinging to the fabric of the couch, the peeling wallpaper like the smoke of a cheap cigarette, clinging to his skin.

If he was that fucked up over your scent how heavenly would you be on his tongue?

He could imagine from what little he felt he could taste in the air during your full moon. Causing his vision to narrow on that steady strong pulse lying just beneath glowing skin.

He has to force himself to leave even if he's just fed, one whiff had him thirsty all over again. He'd turned full glutton from just the smell of you, draining a dozen at a time and yet no amount could please him.

His fangs poke his lower lip now, aching with the urge to sink into tender flesh from just the thought. His salvia already secreting that deadly addictive oxytocin that would bring euphoria to both parties.

He swallows hard but it does nothing to satiate his thirst.

His ever drying throat.

Scarlet eyes cut to the door as he hears the soft pad of your feet stop before the fragile wood that separates the beast from beauty. You rise your capable fist tapping the door gently.

"B..Bakugou..."Your voice is soft as you call through the thick oak. He smells salt in the air causing his stomach to twist.

Were you crying? His throat tightens, muscles screaming for him to move. That this moment, this vulnerability was a golden opportunity to wet those aching fangs. Blunt nails dig into heated palms as he hopes to wait you out but here you go again becoming wholly undeniable.

"Sorry to bother you." You say so softly he almost didn't catch it over the shuffling of your feet.

His heart breaks in two as he lunges for the door, biting back more than just his words.

"What, Y/LN?"

His eyes seem to glow blood red in the low light of the hall, causing you to step back.

There was an intensity to his gaze you could never quite place.

It was as if he hated you and wanted to consume you whole all at once.

Desire burns through your veins especially so when a soft caramel scent is wafted from his room.

You swallow thickly, red eyes dart down and fixate on your throat, a blush creeps over your skin from the obvious blooming bruises.

Why did you have to have your throat EXPOSED?!

Where were your normal oversized hoodies that hid away your sins that you now display openly?

Fading black bruises and pink teeth indents that drove him fucking wild.

Someone dared to mark you and a fucking weak mortal at that.

Bakugou didn't think you had a boyfriend or girlfriend for that matter but you had been smelling like the same male the past few times you ventured out only to return in the late hours of the night.

And long before this house arrest bullshit happened too.

He stares down, body rigid as he is almost fearful to move. One twitch of his finger could set him off, pouncing onto you to leave the markings of a true male.

Instead he grinds his teeth, canines scrapping the inside of his lip. All the while you begin to feel dumb for seeking comfort from a roommate who barely looked your way.

And when he did it set your skin ablaze. A cold sweat runs down your spine as you take a step back.

There wasn't a lot you were scared of in the world, what with being a hero and all.

But there was just something about your roommate that unsettled you.

Whatever it was it sat on the tip of your tongue and when the word was to tumble from your mouth you'd look into that heated gaze and the thought would combust into hot flames.

That licked over every inch of your body.

"I uh...." You stammer, dumbstruck for the first time in your life. Swallowing your pride almost choking on it as you half shout.

"I want to play a game or watch a fucking movie with someone. You can pick but..." He watches one arm cross beneath your breasts, pushing them up a tad, while the other hand covered your throat, making its way up to block your plush lips as you look away. He's noticed this about you in the past year of living with you.

Normally you hold your head high, voice boisterous ringing with confidence but you seemed to curl in on yourself when you spoke to him.

"But I just need someone right now." It comes out soft, borderline desperate as he watches your fingers punch harshly into the skin of your ribs.

He stares you down, fully taking in the bags beneath your eyes. The way your normally glowing skin is slightly lackluster and the red rims of your bottom eye lids.

He hasn't smelt you cook anything in the past few days and there weren't any snack for you to munch on in the house.

You can't stand how his red eyes slice through you like a scalpel. Blade so sharp you notice you're exposed much too late.

With an explosion of your limbs your hands are on your hips, teeth bared before you turn on your heel, yelling.

Fighting back angry, hurt tears.

"You know what, this was fucking stupid. Forget I ever..." A strong hand wraps around your bare bicep, warm to the touch.

"Quit being fucking dramatic and give a man a damn second to answer." He snarls, pulling back his hand as if he touched a burning stove, "I'll make something to eat."

"I'm not being dramatic!" You screech, wholly proving his point. His eyes narrow on the nape of your neck before watching your jaw clench and the quickening tick of that juicy artery.

Still you stomp to the living room, picking up voicing to the hologram to pull up the movie archive. Clearly picking for him.

There was no point in him making enough for two as eating never silenced the ever present growl in his belly or the ache in his teeth. For ever robbed the joy of eating, of cooking.

Everything tasted either tasted like soggy cardboard, salted sawdust, or like ashes of the ghost that food once was.

That's what Bakugou had hated the most about this curse that was placed on him almost a century ago was how much it stole from him.

His sense of taste.

His family.

His friends.

Some days even his desire to live.

He rounds the peninsula of the kitchen with what he's deemed your favorite, placing it into surprised hands.

He must have been right as blush creeps on your cheeks. You take a few bites still scrolling while your thoughts slowly take over.

When was the last time you'd seen him eat? He always cooks but then leaves the containers in the fridge for you with a sticky note scrawled with his roughly neat scrawl.

"Y/N, Eat this before it goes bad dumbass."

You tap the fork to your lips pondering over the mystery that is Bakugo Katsuki.

"Why don't you ever eat what you cook?" Your curiosity slips out in the form of a question.  He side eyes you before nodding at your food silently demanding you finish eating.

"It’s never what I'm hungry for."

His voice sends goose flesh over your skin, hairs on your neck standing straight up before you swallow.

What the fuck was wrong with you?

Acting like this and in front of a guy you barely knew.

Well, that's partially a lie, you knew a little about him from observing him from time to time.

He'd stay up way too late and would come to the love seat only after he thought you were in deep sleep.

When he is really agitated his skin pops like little fireworks dancing along his forearms which usually only happened when someone named Deku called.

He'd do what he's doing now, despite the harsh look in his ever angry scarlet eyes he cooks for you.

Changes your laundry over when you forget with a scoff but most oddly he indulges you.

Like he is now, sitting squished on the love seat with you, legs spread just enough to avoid touching you.

You give him a glance and finish eating, finally selecting a movie as you're done.

His eyes widen for a moment as you select a movie that would have been considered old even in his time.  It stirs odd feelings in his stomach.

"Really, there's 3D movies and shit. And you wanna watch a movie that's not even in color?" He snorts, you would pick this one wouldn't you?

"We must always remember the classics." Is all you say, settling in. Fluffing the blanket over you both and even having the audacity to lean closer to him.  You notice his rigid muscles beneath you but you're so desperate for touch that leaning against this stiff board was far better than spending another night alone with your ever twisting mind.

Slowly he melts into your touch, gulping mouthfuls of your scent but enjoying you none the less.

Realizing that he too had been touch starved.

When was the last time he held someone in his arms?

Hell when was the last time he was this close to someone without feeding?

Ten, twenty years?

It didn't matter, he outlived them anyway so why bother getting attached.

Soon a comfortable quiet settles over the old apartment as it is painted in the soft tones of blacks and grays.

Voices mingling in the air as Bakugo silently agrees with some of the lines.

"Of all the gin joints, in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine."

He feels that way about you, of all the cheap apartments you could have looked at online you chose his. 

You with the smell like no other.

Sweet enough to somehow get him to watch this shitty movie again, he puts his head in his palm watching the old film play out.

How many times had he been forced to watch this in the common room of the dorms all those fucking years ago?

And then again in shared apartments when nothing else was on or when Bakugo would lose rock paper scissors.

"Remember, this gun is pointed right at your heart.”

"That’s my least vulnerable spot.” Bakugou grumbles in unison with the long gone actor.

Your ears perk, having never pegged him to like such a heart wrenching movie.  You giggle, earning a glare and a bark.

"What?"

"Its just I never would have dreamed you'd ever sit down and watch this movie willingly."

"You're right. I wouldnt. Shitty hair..." He clears his throat, "Kirishima, for whatever fucking reason, used to love this movie. Said it was manly and honorable or some shit like that."

"Used to?" Silence stretches between the two of you for a moment until he sees you fully engaged on him.

His heart twists as he looks down on you and he begins to wonder if your quirk is to pull out unsolicited emotions. His fangs don't ache nearly as much as his chest as he pushes through the feeling.

A feeling he hardly allows himself to have. Thinking of his best friend who so hurt by this curse he refused to feed on humans.

But animals couldn't suffice, their bodies needing something in human blood in order to maintain their peak form.

It took him twenty years before he stopped eating all together.

And when he neared the end, neared the point of starvation where instincts would take over he amplified his quirk until he turned to stone.

Oddly enough he's a shrine relic now.

"He passed recently." Five decades was recent to Bakugou.

Your heart stills in your chest as you see real emotion bloom on his face. Cheeks slightly flushed, eyes almost watery as the bitter nostalgia washes over you in waves.

Without thought you lunge for him, wrapping sturdy arms around his neck to pull him into the comfort of your body as your fingers rake through his hair. Pushing his face against your warm skin.

His nose is pressing into your throat as your sickeningly sweet smell floods his mouth but that isn't even the worst part. 

No the worst part is that he can feel your pulse against his lips.

It was like putting a starving dog in front of a steak and telling him not to eat.

Fuck.

His teeth grew on their own and he cannot stop himself as his strong arms wrap around you, pushing you ever closer before he sinks his aching canines into your tender flesh with a groan.

Oxytocin floods your system produced by both his body and your own.

He opens his mouth further, ready to suck in a mouthful of what he's been dying to taste. His pupils dilate and his pants grow tighter at the sound of your soft moan.

He is suffocating, drowning in the dizzying sweet smell that melds beautifully with that metallic tang he cannot get enough of.  He wants to savor this sinful high before he has a taste.

Meanwhile you body sears and freezes all at once as a tingling sensation spreads through your body starting at the nape of your neck.

As if a ghost traces its finger along your spine causing you to turn into putty.

"Fuuuuck, Katsuki." You groan. The sound of his name leaving your lips feels as if he's been plunged in a pool of cold water.

He jumps away from you, nails biting into his palms hard enough that half blood moons will surely litter his hands.

Panting as he tries to keep his tongue away from his canines that drip deliciously maddening red.

Fearful if he gets even just a drop on his tongue he'll kill you.

He'll drain you dry and leave you to rot in the already decaying apartment.

It takes your head a moment to fall down from the stratosphere before the small holes in your throat close seamlessly with a sharp bite.

You press your hand to the wound, only small specks of blood not yet dried paint your palm.

Shocked eyes rove over the muscular body as things start to slowly piece themselves together.

The explosive temper, ash blonde hair, piercing red eyes, an intensity unmatched and that popping quirk he used when extremely agitated.

Instantly the picture in the old text book pops into mind as you imagine the man before you with a black cowl.

The whole section about his story, about how he and  two other heroes had been attacked, bitten, by some immortal being. They shortly fell off the face of the Earth after that.

Mind going into overdrive as your memory floods with the text of files you've been assigned and the voice of the woman you just recently interviewed.

She was the same age as you. Later twenties, petite, long fire red hair with glossy eyes who was mysteriously left in front of the hospital. Suffering from severe blood loss but not a wound in sight.

Not even a fucking scratch.

And worst yet she wasn't the first one. There was one daily and dozens when it neared the ended of the month. Worst yet there was never any video of the perp, just a glitch in the frame before the victim is lying helplessly by the entrance.

Still her slurred words haunt you as you think of her response to your question.

"He was hot. Strong muscles, smelled sweet, like candy and nostalgia. He looked so familiar, like an old movie star or something...."

Or maybe she was thinking of an old hero.

"Ground Zero." The hero name sounds foreign to the panting blonde.

Shit when was the last time he heard that name?

The sound of his old alias brings up surging memories that fist fight with the smell of the blood on his fangs.

Of an overly arrogant boy who was so scared to fail he hardened his heart.

A heart that begin to break while he watched his idol fade away before his very eyes.

Slowly it was mended again from old misunderstood rivalries turned friendships and acquaintances turned family.

Only for them to age and crumple into dust as he stands witness with Father time.

All save one with emerald gems for eyes.

"When was the last time you ate?" It comes out harsh as you rack your brain for the name of that villain, the one that is said to still hide out in the outskirts of a run down city in the states.

You knew Bakugou wasn't that asshole who mutilated bodies after he fed. That much was apparent by his sheer will power to leave you be for the three months the two of you have been confined to these four walls.

But if it's been months like you think surely he cannot live that long with out eating right?

The slightest dark circles hang beneath those scarlet red eyes, cheeks a little paler than normal and his fangs.

Canines elongated, swelling up his gums a bit indicating his hunger, his thirst.

When he does not speak it confirms your theory and it lines up perfectly with the timeline of that woman.

His last meal much too long ago.

"Come, eat." You tap your throat with almost shaky fingers. Heart halfway breaking over the torture it must have been.

He snarls, unmoving ready to bolt for the door but worried he will give in to the ache in his teeth and throat.

Of gulping down every last drop your godly body had to fucking offer.

When he makes no move you grow impatient, allowing your quirk to shape shift your nails into claws.

"You fed me, I feed you. Now I'm telling you to eat." Your voice is commanding as you scratch deep grooves into your forearm followed by beads of dazzling red.

His eyes dilate unnaturally before he swallows thickly.

Getting just a small taste of your blood from his fangs before he is pressing you into the couch, forcing your arms behind your head as he licks a swipe up the wounds. A shudder runs through you both before you feel the skin pull taunt and close fully. 

Only for pain to settle in your wrists as one strong hand holds them there before his free hand tilts your head away. Exposing that damn neck you had to press him to. He bites into that blessed artery before pulling harshly at the skin, deeming your flow not fast enough.

You taste far better than you smell and he has to be careful with you for fear he won’t be able to stop. Especially so with each encouraging mewl that leaves those lips and reverberates in his mouth.

His grip turns tighter as you look over him, eyes savoring his sculpted body beneath his tight tee and that bulge that rests in his tight black joggers.

You knee it teasingly causing him to snap away from your neck.

"Careful." A guttural growl, causing you to clench around nothing, "Don't start what you can’t finish."

"Oh I always finish what I start." You free your hands quickly, tugging at his joggers more than needing the treat that lies beneath. He catches your wrist, eyes darkening.

"This isn't how I normally feed."

"Then it's time to try something new." Silence stretches between the two of you, he tries so hard to resist. To tell himself he's had enough at least for now but he finds himself gravitating towards you.

Being pulled back into the heat of your kiss as if the two of you were tragically magnetic.

You positive and him negative.

He rips your camisole from your body exposing your breasts to him. Your skin is marred with more dying bites than he'd like. He smirks to himself as he thinks of you, this strong, brash being and it is hard for him to imagine you to be so submissive 

To bend to the will of someone else.

He thinks he'd rather it just be for him.

You notice his smirk as he licks some blood from his lips, your stomach twists in anticipation. Not realizing how much you like those lips curved upward, even if it means he may devour you whole.

"What?" The smallest of blushes creeps along your skin as he leaves you exposed.

"Tch. You own yourself until you're in the bedroom and that's when you want to be marked." He presses kisses along your breasts and collar bone, biting over the fading hickies, "By the looks of these you went out not too long ago.  Naughty girl."

He bites causing you to moan as he laps at the blood before removing his mouth. This time allowing all of the little bite wounds to stay open for a few minutes. Little bruises dance beneath the puncture holes. His eyes rake over your body, drinking in every detail as a slight shudder runs through you.

His thumb swipes over a small pink bite mark on your hip. He isn't sure why he feels so jealous over the thought of you lying beneath another man.

Of you gazing up at them in anticipation as their hands sully your skin.

Of their mouth littering your perfect skin with their half assed love bites.

He knows he shouldn't feel this way, you were a grown ass woman who wasn’t his.

Yet he was tempted to call you his own.

"These are pathetic." He murmurs as you watch him lean forward to replace the bite with his own.

His breath is warm on the hip bone before he slides those damn teeth in, giving you another hit of that intoxicating drug.

"Then show me how it should be done. Mark me as yours." He looks up at you, mouth still attached to your gorgeous skin. You fight the urge for your eyes to flutter as you stare him down. He removes himself, blood dripping from his lip.

You swallow fear and choke on desire as he rises above you, hovering over you as he corners you into the couch.

"You wouldn't be able to handle a true marking." His voice is dark, threatening as he leans in to nibble at your lip. Tips of his fangs indenting your plush bottom lip but never piercing the skin. You pull back a bit to better hold his gaze.

"I can handle it." Your voice cuts hard but your eyes scream fuck me harder as you gaze up at him under long lashes.

"Are you sure you can handle it?" His hand slip between your thighs, that you happily spread, to find you soaking, his nimble fingers swirl over a needy clit as you fight from turning into putty in his hands.

You need to be in control for just a moment longer, for just long enough to convince him you won't break so he could go all out.

"I know I can." Your eyes flash serious before returning to that bedroom look causing him to sheath himself in a harsh thrust.

Your head rears back into the couch, biting back the moan hard enough you taste blood.

Only for Katsuki to lean in, pulling your bottom lip into his mouth. You watch his face contort before he shudders over top of you. You feel him twitch within you causing you to whimper, trying hard to get some sort of friction.

You never knew Bakugou Katsuki would like to play with his food.

"You're such a naughty slut aren't you, Princess?" He gives another harsh thrust, "Body begging to be fucked out."

How the fuck did he know you loved dirty talk?

"Can, can you read minds?" You pant and he laughs darkly. It's an oddly pleasant sound as it echoes back to you.

"No..." He leans in kissing you until you feel desperate for breath before he presses his forehead to yours, "When I feed I feel their strongest emotions temporarily. If I mark you, make you mine for all the world to fucking see I'll feel your most intense emotions and vice versa. Always or until the bond is broken."

He squeezes your ribs until they groan beneath his touch as he reads your expression.

Where you turned off, were you no longer wanting to be marked? You lean up to bite at his lower lip. Pulling as you ease back down.

"Then make me yours, Katsuki."

"Maybe." He kisses your throat, testing the waters with each thrust until he's set a brutal pace.

Causing a coil to quickly tighten in your stomach.

He plunges into you, wholly, figuratively, lapping at your throat before nipping in your ear as you moan loudly.

"You're taking my cock so well Princess." He praises causing you to clench around his length.  His own eyes threaten to roll in the back of his head and he wonders when the last time he has ever felt so in tune with some.

If he ever really has.

The couch hits into the half wall with sharp percussion as Bakugou pulls all but a scream from your lips, nails turning to claws ripping his shirt to threads before they scrape down his back.

He takes bites of you here and there as he thrusts into your throbbing cunt, hitting your clit with his pelvic bone as he bottoms out in you with each harsh snap of his hips.

"Fuuuuck. Katsuki." Is all you can say over and over as he brings you to your first high of the night.

A sweat prickles over your sensitive skin as the coil in your stomach snaps convulsing beneath him as your legs lift from his back.

Eyes fluttering, head thrown back and throat exposed to him as your pussy attempts to milk him dry, coaxing him ever closer to his own climax.

Shuddering as he feels yours in his own blood.

Red eyes drinking in the sight of you, messy sex hair, cheeks and lips red from the rush of blood, body spasming due to his thrusts.

He takes a hand and swirls across your puffy bud, tongue licking at your perked nipple send you into an over stimulated series of body rocking orgasms paired with the high you feel that drips from his fangs with each bite.

You pant heavily, body going limp after your sixth Earth shattering release, vision blurring and all you can see is red.

You can barely hold into his biceps, one hand trying so hard to pull at the ash blonde that sits at the nape of his neck.

He enjoys the sight of you fucked out, border line having your tongue stuck out as if you were making an aehego face.

And all of it just for him.

"What's wrong kitten? Can't finish what you started?" He asks cruelly teasing you ever close to yet another high. You smirk up at him weakly, trying so hard to respond without sounded totally exhausted.

"I can." You use the last of your energy to buck back into him a few more times before he presses his hands to your hips, leaning to growl in your ear.

"Save your energy Princess. I plan to make a round two. Can you last just a bit longer?" His voice softens near the end, fully sending you what you were fighting tooth and nail to avoid.

That ever dangerous subspace as you've fully opened your heart to someone whose true identity you just learned.

Hell, you guess that was better than doing it for someone whose name you didn’t even know as you've done before.

"Yes, Katsuki-sama." You gasp out causing an unexpected chill to run along his spine. He looks down at you in your radiant glory and decides right then.

He decides that he cannot stand the thought of anyone else causing you to look like this. For anyone else to cause your walls to crumple as you expose yourselves wholly.

Or the idea of anyone being able to taste you.

And with his mark not only will other vampires avoid you but anyone who is sexually attracted to you will feel his gaze even if he is not there.

His thrusts turn sloppy as he chooses to give you what they call a mate's mark.

This one will be even more intense than what he originally debating on doing.

He sinks his teeth into you, a groan echoes back to you competing with the sound of your drenched core being pounded into as blood fills his mouth.

He struggles to deposit the right amount of venom because if he puts too much you will be close to losing your free will.

Just as he pushes in the right amount you shatter beneath him, cunt becoming so tight he cannot stand it and he fills you to the brim with seed thrusts harsh to make sure you receive every last drop.

Your body vibrates and stills all at once as your eyes roll into the back of your head.

Voice going so high it becomes raw before you quiet beneath him.

He removes his teeth from your throat, lapping at the spilling blood hopeful that he has neither drank too much nor given you far too much venom.

He holds his breath with each passing heart beat fear seeps into his bones. Stilling him to his core, your eyes should be opening any second.

He repeats the mantra over and over fearing your pulse is getting weaker, eyes hardly fluttering.

He swallows, the bittersweet after taste of you settles on the back of his tongue, whispering what he always seems to forget.

That not everyone he's marked has woken up.

[northcarolinanative]

𝐘𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐈𝐭 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐌𝐞 - Pope Heyward

Description: After John B and Sarah are gone and Ward was able to get the gold off the Island Pope feels the most defeated he ever has. He’s losing control of his friendships, his family, and his life. He slips into the unhealthy habits of his best friend, JJ. Y/N doesn’t like the person he has become, but what can she even say to start to make it better. TW// Drug use 

A/N: I had this idea out of nowhere when rewatching Outer banks recently. Pope is so complex to me and I had a hard time trying to encompass him in this, so any feedback that you have would be so so appreciated. I promise I am working on collision and request this is just a lil break because all my requests are JJ (not that I am complaining haha). As always my Requests/asks/messages are open :) 

It had been a few solemn days since Ward Cameron had flown off with the gold and John B and Sarah’s disappearance. The two young teenager’s fates hung like an unsolved mystery heavy over the rest of the pogues. The conspiracies that each person had come up with circled everyone’s thoughts anytime a silence fell over the group. The group felt utterly defeated at the loss of their friend, their brother. They lost the gold to the same man that sealed the fate of John B, angering them even more. 

“I don’t even understand why Ward needed that gold so bad!” JJ said kicking the logs in the fire. The logs fell creating a flash of flames. The group flinched slightly at the sudden heat, causing JJ to step back, falling into his respective camping chair. “He’s already rich as fuck anyway.” He scoffed. He pulled a joint from his pockets placing it between his fingers and lighting it. We were used to JJ getting high to deal with the thoughts that overtook his brain. JJ wasn’t JJ without ‘taking the edge off.’ 

What did surprise me was how Pope leaned forward, skillfully taking the lit joint from JJ’s hand. He leaned back in his chair, bringing it to his lips. He took a visibly large hit, only letting out a few shallow coughs. He closed his eyes letting the feeling wash over him. JJ reached to take it back from him, only for Pope to pull it away from him. Kie and I shared a worried glance with one another before looking back at the two boys on the other side of the fire. 

“He’s just a greedy Kook. Rich people get richer, and we don’t. We aren’t the Camerons, we don’t get second chances. Ward robbed us of our one chance to make it rich.” Pope spoke, his voice coming out slow and his drawl becoming more prominent. He was on his fourth hit from JJ’s blunt, no longer flinching when he took a long drag. He finally offered the blunt back to JJ, who practically snatched it from his hand. 

“I was trying to get you to relax bro, not hog my shit,” JJ mumbled. Pope just responded with a groan. I kept my eyes trained on the boy in front of me. He had been worrying me lately. He had to have a lot of emotions building up inside of him. He had expressed to us many times that growing up, he never really learned the proper way to deal with emotions. We all knew Heyward expected nothing but the best for Pope, pushing him to be the best version of himself that he could be. Somewhere along the way, I think Pope worked so hard that he lost part of who he was to his studies. All he wanted to do was making his parents proud. I think that is why the treasure hunt was so important for him. It was developmental for all of us, but it allowed Pope to have fun and open up to experiences outside of the textbook, to live the rebellious teenage life. 

We were all quick to tell him to come with us, to stop worrying about the essay, the interview, or his dad. None of us thought about how that would affect him. He walked out of his scholarship interview, giving up his one-way ticket to a better life, just to help us. That is the kind of friend that Pope is. Since then it had been tearing the boy apart. He didn’t say much, but whenever Heyward had us packing orders at the shop I could hear the sly remarks made about how Pope had the opportunity for a better life, or how Heyward was angry that Pope let something so good slip from his fingers. 

My heart hurt for the boy sitting in front of me. If that wasn’t enough he had to sit with the girl that he confessed his feelings to, only to have her push him away. Kie told me about the interaction almost as soon as it happened. Every time I would catch his eyes wandering to stop on her face, or he would follow in behind her, my stomach would drop. I would do anything for Pope, he knows that. After Kiara told me about their conversation at Tannyhill, I decided that I was going to push my feelings for Pope down to the pits of my brain and forget them, even though that hadn’t been happening lately. 

I definitely did not have the best coping mechanisms for this, but JJ was always down to flirt with anyone. I started responding to JJ’s empty flirtatious remarks more often. They almost always caused the two of us and Kie to laugh, but Pope was always seemingly in another world. He was always one to have a witty one-liner or the perfect roast to knock JJ down a few pegs, but he was quiet now. His sense of humor fleeting the group. 

“That’s…” Kie started, looking between the group, trying to see a reaction from Pope’s train of thought. “Dark.” she breathed. 

Pope scoffed before promptly getting up from his spot by the fire and quickly walking toward the water’s edge. I looked at Kiara and JJ with a confused expression. She nodded her head in his direction signaling that I should follow. I knew that things between the two of them were tense, but every time Pope had gotten upset over the past few weeks my heart broke further and further. He was turning into a shell of himself from the overwhelming amount of rejection that he was feeling. 

I found him, leaning against a tree at the edge of the woods, his head hung low, looking at the sharp rocks that formed the jetty. The closer I got the louder the water crashing to the rocks became, helping to drown out some of the loudest thoughts in my head. I approached the tall boy, bringing my hand up to his shoulder, beginning to rub it in a comforting manner.  

He pulled his shoulder away from me with a shrug. He shook his head slightly, before looking away from me. It hurt like hell seeing him have this reaction to me simply trying to be there for him. I felt the tears prick my eyes, the events of the past few weeks coming back to fruition as I watched the broken boy in front of me. The moonlight was bouncing off his skin making him glow in the darkness of the moment. 

I decided that being by the water was the only way that I would feel calm at this moment. Saltwater ran in all of our veins, the closer we were in proximity to the ocean making us feel more at home. I stepped out and onto the jetty. Looking back at Pope, trying to elicit anything that I could out of him. I held my hand out to him, urging him to follow me to the waves. As his hand slipped into mine, I pulled him further and further from the edge of the island. I felt a glimmer of hope in the way that he gripped my hand and the soft smile that graced his face as we clumsily made our way over the jagged, mismatched rocks. 

We finally got the edge, finding a larger rock, suitable for the two of us to sit on. We sat on the rock, our arms and legs brushing against each other due to the limited space. Pope’s eyes were once again were trained on the water that flowed against the rocks underneath us. The silence was heavy for a while. 

Pope finally starting to speak. “I’m sorry that I went off like that.” He sighed, leaning back onto his arms letting his head roll back with his eyes closed. 

I didn’t respond immediately. I was distracted by the way that his demeanor had changed the anger that had held onto him moments ago was now replaced with sadness. The way that the solemn look on his face made me want nothing more than to melt into him. “You have every right to be upset, Pope,” I said reaching for his hand again. He let me pull it into my lap, holding it between the two of mine, my thumbs rubbing comforting lines, back and forth.

“It’s just so much. I don’t know how much I can handle. I am never enough.” He said. I felt his hand tense up as he lifted himself to sit up straight. “I have literally disappointed my father so much, he won’t even look me in the eye anymore Y/N. I gave up my one good shot to get outta here, at a better life, to help some damn treasure hunt!” He said the urgency in his voice. I was at a loss for words, not knowing what to say to help him feel better. “I gave up everything and it still wasn’t enough for the others. They want me to help them with research and give up my time, that I need to earn back my father’s respect, to go on another goose chase.” He said scoffing. 

“Hey,” I said forcing him to look at me. “They,” I said nodding my head back toward the other two. “May not get it, but I do. I realize that you gave up everything for your idiot friends. Me included.” I said, finally getting him to crack a slight smile. “And for what it’s worth, I appreciate every single sacrifice that you made through the entire treasure hunt, and I’m sure that if John B was here, he would too,” I said nudging his shoulder.  

He let out a slight laugh at the mention of John B. It was always a toss-up to see how we all would react to the mention of him and Sarah, sometimes it was a reminiscent chuckle, sometimes it was a few straggling tears. “Don’t sell yourself short. We would have never found that well without both our brains.” He said nudging my shoulder back. I was happy to see a little more of the Pope that I know, the Pope that I loved, peeking through all the emotions again. 

I laughed with him shortly before continuing. “As for your dad, he wants what’s best for you and I don’t think he knows exactly how to show his love for you, so he does it through pushing you to be better because he wished he had someone like that,” I spoke, recounting the time Heyward has told us about his family. I spoke softly trying not to overstep my boundaries. 

Pope nodded his head in response, taking in what I had just told him. “I’m glad that they always send you after me.” 

I snapped my head to look at him, my eyebrows knitting together in confusion. I met his deep brown eyes, filled with every emotion that he was feeling. Reading over my expression he became nervous about his statement. “I mean after everything with Kie, I just figured that they sent you.” He spoke in a low, uncertain voice, shrugging his shoulder, suddenly insecure in the moment. 

“No, I always come because I want to. Last time you stormed off, I practically pushed JJ off the dock to get to you.” I said giggling at the memory of the overdramatic boy we were speaking of. It was Pope’s turn to return my statement with knitted eyebrows, as his eyes searched my face for the meaning of my words. 

“After Kie…” He said, his voice shaky and low. No one really talked about Pope confessing his feelings for Kiara, we all pretended like it was a fever dream and did not happen. I heard him swallow before continuing,” rejected me.”  He said with a sigh. “She said that she wanted something different?” He said, his word coated with confusion themselves. “I just felt like no one really wanted me around, or wanted who I was.” Silence fell over us as I gripped his hands tighter involuntarily, hanging onto every word that left his mouth. Every word he spoke about Kie tearing at my heart. “I don’t love her like that though, I don’t know why I did it.” My heart wanted to shatter for him, but I settled for picking up the pieces to hand to him to put back together. He spoke, regret now evident in his voice. “I don’t why I am doing any of this. I’m getting drunk and high, picking fights, like I’m JJ,” He sighed. 

“I know we always said we wanted you to loosen up, this isn’t what I want” I laughed awkwardly trying to joke about the topic, but I meant every word that I said. “I want the old Pope back.” I felt him tense at my words. 

Pope stood up, taking his hand out of mine and wiping the dirt off the back of his pants. “I don’t! It’s like my life went downhill after that interview and no one gives a shit! The old Pope was walked over by all these people and I am sick of it!” Pope said, his voice rising as the distress became evident. He started stepping over rocks to move back to the forest. 

I quickly stood up, briefly contemplating the words that were about to come out of my mouth., I quickly swallowed my pride, not caring about the outcome. My heart was beating in my throat, making sure that the words had to claw their way out. “I care Pope! I have always cared! Probably more than just your best friend should!” I said. The tears started to prick at the corners of my eyes as the words left my mouth. 

Pope stopped in his tracks, turning to face me, his eyes wide as he processed the words that I said. I grew bold in my actions, deciding that if I was going to put it out there that I had to put it all out there. “I’ve always been here Pope, I wished I could have made you seen it sooner before you fell for Kie, but for me,” I stopped closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, “It’s always been you. You’re little witty comments never fail to brighten my day, or how you effortlessly help me to do better at anything, even the way that we used to sit on John B’s dock in the middle of the night and have those deep ass conversations.” I said, feeling out of breath. “You’re it for me.” I managed to get out as my voice finally broke. I opened my eyes to see Pope, walking back towards me, His steps careful and calculated as he crossed the distance that had been created between us. 

“You like me?” Pope stuttered out. His face was one of complete and utter shock. 

I shook my head and scoffed. “You don’t have to act so surprisedly.” The tears were falling freely down my face, as I tried to look anywhere but the curious eyes if the boy in front of me. I moved my hand to try and wipe away the tears that were falling down my face, embarrassed of how emotional I had become. 

I was stopped by Pope’s hand moving at the same time to cup the side of my face forcing me to look up at him. I felt my face contort to show the pain that I was feeling. His eyes flickered between the two of mine. I couldn’t help but melt into the touch of his hand, trying to savor the way that it felt to be in his grasp. 

It took me a minute to comprehend what was happening, but the Pope’s lips were on mine. I felt myself sway backward from the feeling. Pope wrapped his arm around my back to keep me upright as I kissed him back at a feverish pace. I settled my arms on either side of his neck, holding the back of his head in one hand. I wanted to pull him impossibly close. The world around us felt like it was spinning into nothing until it was just the two of us in the middle. I could feel the emotions of the night being poured into the kiss, the anger, the regret, but most importantly the passion. 

We finally had to pull away from one another in a need for air, but we stayed entangled together on the teetering top of a jetty rock. Pope leaned down once again resting his forehead against mine. The eye contact was so intimate that I felt like I could hear his thoughts. 

“Just so we’re clear. I meant it when I said I know that I am not in love with Kiara. I just thought that after all this time you would never see me the way I saw you, so I tried to move on. It really blew up in my face though.” He said, a small chuckle leaving his lips. He placed a soft kiss on the top of my head. “You’re it for me too.”

My Masterlist:) 

Tagging those who asked :) -- @kikifromtheblock​ @bedazzledbanks​ @alexa-playafricabytoto​ @poguelifesurfshop​ 

[kckv]

The Braavosi smiled

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[heyitsbugette]

Todobug: Fallen lover.

The spotted heroine was out with her team for a regular round of patrol, finding herself just a few meters from the girls to plan the rute alongside Chat Noir. She constantly ignored his attentions, but when he took her hand trying to kiss the back, with her opposite she invoked a lucky charm out of curiosity, winning a small spray bottle with which she sprayed on his feline friend.

──── Bad Kitty! Behave! Behave!

She exclaimed, spraying her partner, watching him contract through the water as if he were a small cat taking a bath, making her laugh mockingly next to the turtle hero who stayed next to them contracting against his stomach to laugh at the blonde’s childish reactions. Lately the heroes have gotten much closer as the meetings get more and more enjoyable, sometimes taking a few breaks to chat or joke with each other.

This was one of those days, being a fairly quiet time to afford that luxury that on rare occasions they could joke around. For today the only ones who were absent were Viperion, Roi Singe, and Pegase, but soon it would be their turn on the night patrol. And while both boys were organizing to cover ground next to Ladybug, it was that both Rena Rouge and Queen Bee looked puzzled at the initial duo of heroes at the same time while Ryuko sitting on a pile of bricks next to them sharpened her sword patiently without much interest.

It wasn't until the beautiful-looking blonde snorted as she touched up her lipstick that when she uttered a word, she broke the ice, paying attention to her reflection in the portable mirror that she carried with her even in battle. And at once her lips took on a little more color, she looked out of the corner of her eye at the heroine in a fox costume, ready to start conversation.

──── And ... Are you sure these two are just friends? Huh, I'm suspecting that the Ladybug's alleged boyfriend scandal is actually fake news of that infamous Alec Cataldi guy.

The blonde wasn't exactly discreet when she looked away from her mirror to turn and look skeptically at the dynamic duo fighting childishly as they calmed down to begin their part of the patrol, both walking away with Carapace jumping from roof to roof.

Instead, the young Japanese woman who calmly held her sword, settled into her seat crossing her legs with a quick movement. For a few thoughtful moments, she rested her gaze indifferently on her mate, while resting both hands on the handle of her sword, glancing sideways at the direction in which her superiors were leaving.

──── Believe it or not, she is in a relationship with Todoroki-san, and we must respect that, Queen Bee. It is not very honorable that you speak of him like this when he is not present to defend himself.

It was her answer said with a little bit of hostility, since clearly the foreigner hated gossip and to people talking cowardly behind them back. She did not know the guy in question well enough to consider him a friend, but he had been cordial in those events in which their parents had coincided.

Of course, it was a shock to learn that he was the mysterious boy Chat Noir was constantly complaining about standing between him and “his lady”. However, she couldn't blame them for their relationship being now seen in the public eye, after how an annoying low morality TV presenter had exposed the couple without their consent, robbing them of the opportunity to reveal their relationship when they were ready. It was so unpleasant, but she remembered with satisfaction how the Ladyblogger reported such an invasion of privacy on her blog, causing so much backlash to the man.

Some karma was dealt after that.

And although her words were almost interrupted by a fox lady in a bright orange suit, far from being annoyed, she continued her own business by returning her attention to the weapon even as she paid attention to the girl who questioned her words.

──── As much as I hate the shit Cataldi pull on them, the guy don't give me good vibes... I mean he's stupidly cold even with her. It seems he doesn't even care that Ladybug is in love with him!

The fox's heroine commented annoyed, while the blonde bee buzzed with excitement, agreeing with the words of her comrade. Neither of them seemed to believe Endeavor's son as the one for Ladybug, the national angel of France.

──── I know damn right the guy is hot, I'm not blind. But he's so... Uninteresting that he loses his charm. I think we all agree that our little bug can easily get someone better, my Adrikins is dying for her and I don't blame him, I don't even know who to be jealous of.

The blonde commented in a playful tone while she fixed some strands of hair ruffled by the wind, and putting on the final touches of the lipstick with her hand mirror, she closed the end at once to cross her arms later. It was obvious that her words were anything but kind, because even when Rena agreed that her heroine should seek someone else, it was equally clear that she did not approve of being so cruel when speaking of the aspiring hero. Chloe, on the other hand, was still taking small steps to be friendlier, but the change was gradual and she didn't avoid releasing hurtful comments on rare occasions.

No one refuted anything, it was not worth it and among the three they ended up leaving finally once their rest ended, ready to resume their patrol, perhaps hopefully catching up with the rest of their teammates.

Todoroki Shoto was just leaving the Le Grand Paris, where he was staying with his family, his father apparently had work pending in Paris and they would be spending the summer outside of Japan.

He keeping silent and walking beside his older brother for as long as their paths coincided, after all he did not plan to follow him any longer; he had his own plans going. He had reserved a table in a restaurant that was close to her girlfriend's home, clearly paying with his old man's credit card with the bonus of bothering him, and of course thanks to his action he ended up earning a tremendous shout from the older one, but that did not matter, he just wanted to pamper his beloved.

──── So.. Have any plans, kid?

Asked the curious albino while chilling at the side of his brother. He and his penpal Luka Couffaine would hang out at the mall and then go to the disco store, it was clear that he wanted to see if the youngest of the family was free to accompany them.

──── I'm going out with my girlfriend once she comes back from patrolling with her team.

He answered calmly, taking out his phone when he felt it vibrate for a few seconds, surely his sister had called him to scold him for what he did with the credit card, but from seeing the angry expression on the older man's face he could say that it was worth it worth the scolding.

──── Ah? So, are you're really dating? I thought you were joking when you told us.

The college student spoke with a little laugh, noticing how his sibling looked at him confused. Suddenly the punk looking teenager gave him a discreet push with his shoulder to shut him up, an action that made him finally react.

And it was not for less, he had really been surprised to hear the albino's words, which shows with his changing facial expression. And while the double quirked teen questioned his words with his typical seriousness, it was remarkable for the man, for his slipt he keeps laughing nervously and even uncomfortably at the heterochromatic stare.

──── And… why did you think that?

──── Hey, chill... I didn't mean it like that, but you guys don't really seem like a couple. You know, you don't show it much. B-But I know you must love her a lot, of course!

Realizing how insensitive his words were, as well as how prejudiced he sounded when saying them, Natsuo ended up hiding behind a certain guitarist who shook his head gently and placed his arm between the two boys in a crude attempt at protection in what they both looked like. Instead of getting angry, the half redhead hung his head in surprise, grimacing seconds later, looking at them this time with a frown, clearly offended and annoyed.

──── Don't take it the wrong way, Shoto. You know that Natsuo can be somewhat naive and reckless, it was not his intention to offend you.

──── See you tomorrow, Couffaine…

Without saying anything else, he turns away into the flower shop, leaving behind the guys with whom he had had a bitter revelation. It was the only thing he said, annoyingly walking away in the opposite direction. Didn't they really seem like a real couple? The young man knew that he was not very expressive with his feelings, but he never thought it would be so bad. He continued his walking now without much encouragement, looking even more serious than usual if that was possible, but he was still determined to prove to himself that Natsuo was wrong. Perhaps if he made an effort to make his night with her girlfriend perfect, he could show his love for her, although it was difficult for him to show his feelings. But that did not mean that he wouldn't do his best to try.

So, he continued walking until he reached the picturesque place, entering and buying a bouquet of flowers, cheering up little by little. He left the place much calmer, even motivated, eager to meet his dear ladybug; but it was not until he heard three female voices talking about him and his lovely girfriend without any hesitation, that without being able to avoid it with strangeness he raised his face to watch the heroines speak from the roof of the building animatedly, being the blonde the loudest among the three.

Little by little he felt worse and worse with each word. Was he such a bad boyfriend? Marinette thought the same as her friends?

Once the heroines left the Japanese boy sat on one of the benches, leaving his bouquet of flowers beside him, running his hands over his hair. Maybe they were right, maybe he was giving less to the relationship than his girlfriend deserved, maybe he was throwing her into the arms of another guy with his attitude. Suddenly he felt an upset stomach just thinking about it, it wasn't a nice feeling.

At the same time his discomfort was escalating and frustrated, he bent down looking at the bouquet of roses with an unsatisfied gaze, remembering how the cat hero used to give her a flower every day during the time that his relationship with her was a secret to the public. He remembered the jealousy he repressed every time Chat Noir tried to seduce his heroine, every flirtatious and cheesy nickname said in the midst of battles, as even when she rejected him, he was still motivated to win her love.

He recalled the mistrust he had for Luka when he mentioned his feelings for a certain baker's daughter, but he quickly dispelled his insecurities when he knew that Couffaine would never try anything with her. In his words he remembered how the eldest simply said that “her melody had found her own rhapsody,” whatever that meant. It was much worse when he find out about the past feelings his Maribug used to have towards Adrien Agreste, but detesting him made him feel guilty, the boy was also too kind for his own good.

He needed advice, it was not a good sign to be so insecure or jealous. But he was just a confused teenager in his first relationship, they couldn't blame him for his inexperience.

Todoroki Shoto, Memories. A couple days ago.

During finals a certain pigtail lady had sneaked to Japan with the equine kwami’s help, of course, she missed her long-distance boyfriend as much as she knows he missed her too, and surprising her lover from behind she didn’t hesitate into hugging him sideways, laughing and playing with their noses in an soft Eskimo kiss. A couple minutes later, he took her by the waist just to give his girlfriend room to sit on his lap, while both kwamis hovered curiously around the room towards one of the hero magazines.

──── Not that it bothers me for you to come see me, actually I enjoy it, but what are you doing here?

──── I needed a break ... If I hear Lila say how she introduced you to Ladybug again, I will lose my patience, mon trésor.

With a snort the young woman let herself lean on her lover's shoulder, listening to him laugh vaguely with that unmistakable grimace on his lips, without a doubt the double quirk teen was just as entertained of the situation than he should be.

──── She's still into her fantasies? Should I be scared?

──── Not worth it.

In a mocking tone the eldest played with his beloveds’ lips, approaching to touch them tenderly just to move away when his muse deigned to reciprocate. From one moment to the next, he earned her frown, and it was when he saw her pout that he finally let himself be caught, feeling the plump and pink lips against his, sharing the cherry flavor of her usual chapstick.

When closing his eyes in duo with his sun sunshine girl, one of his hands fixed on her cheek tenderly as he passed his thumb over the blush, while in an ephemeral separation to discharge his heavy breath in a second, they again kissed again. Much more shy tan before.

──── Please come tomorrow… If not, who's going to kick my ass in Ultimate Mecha Strike?

Little could he know that his scattered thoughts made Gabriel Agreste smile with discretion, as he, after sending one of his models to their wardrobe test in the care of their star designers, was that he hung up the call by video-chat once he delegated the activities of the day to Nathalie and went calmly towards the portrait of his beloved Emilie, caressing gracefully the illustration on her lips, in a silent conversation with himself.

He would have another chance to save her.

──── Oh, disappointment and jealousy ~ Powerful feelings from the hand of the lover that will bring my victory ... Simply poetic. Get ready, Ladybug! It will be the person who has your very own heart who will bring your defeat to me. So, fly my little Akuma, and possess Endeavor's son!

Ignorant of what was happening, were his racing heartbeats and his concern about losing the girl he had fallen in love with, without notice he caught the attention of a certain villain who triumphantly prepare one of his akumas to leave outside of his lair as he walked in the direction of his butterfly window ready for send his tiny henchman in search of the tormented teenager boy whose peace was disturbed. Humming, Hawkmoth smiled poisonously, capturing in his hands the tiny being whom he filled with negative energy, and in the end commanding them with his stick for catch his target.

Earlier when news of the heroine's romance leaked, he simply didn't rush into acting. He wasn't an idiot, he knew how dangerous it was to villainize the wrong people at the wrong time, he learned it the hard way with certain failed villains. But now, it was the perfect timing for him.

The akuma fluttered from the sky until found the source of such intense negative feelings, it could feel them for miles, and when the time came it was easier to be able to catch him without being noticed. Without missing the opportunity to melt into the bouquet of roses that the brokean hearted boy held so sadly, linking without opportunity to fight in a forced communication with the most feared villain in Paris at the moment when the butterfly communicator managed to get a surprised sigh out of him.

──── Greetings, Heartstroke. I am your friend, Hawkmoth. I have felt your fear of losing the love of your heroine, as everyone sees you as an obstacle. I promise to give you the power to punish whoever dares to take her away from you, and prove them wrong... But there is something you must do for me in return.

His words were poisonous, said with false concern and artificial charisma, selling to his victim the idea that would solve their problems once and for all, but the minor's doubt internally annoyed the criminal, he hated when his victims became resistant.

──── No, I won't give you her miraculous…

──── Don't be naive, son. Every Ladybug is destined for her Black Cat. Creation and destruction cannot live without the other. I offer you the opportunity to free her from her destiny. And what do you say? Do you accept my offer?

The half albino quickly covered his ears, while biting his trembling lip closed at the same time, he closed his eyes, unable to resist the intense connection with Hawkmoth any longer. But with each spoken word he felt increasingly furious, helpless, more insecure. To Paris, he was just a busybody, someone who kept Ladybug away from her one true love, the one who truly cared about her; as with every threatening mail they insinuated that he should get away and look for someone else, that he should stop confusing Lady luck's feelings. He couldn't handle it anymore, he was only human after all, and naturally he was selfish.

Selfish for wanting a future with her.

──── It will be a pleasure, Hawkmoth.

With a simple scaling flash of light, the bicolor eyed boy’s body was enveloped until it disappeared into a new metamorphosis, a different appearance drifted away from his usual looks.

Goodbye Todoroki Shoto, let's meet Heartstroke.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #403

“ashes to ashes, watch me disappear”

If given the opportunity, would you like to star in a musical? Definitely not. I don't like musicals. Name one person you’d take a bullet for: There's honestly a lot, but Mom immediately came to mind. Any posters of a band on your bedroom wall? Yeah: Metallica and Marilyn Manson currently. I want lots more, especially an Ozzy one. Do you think you’ve already met your soulmate? I don't believe in soulmates. Do you share your bedroom with anyone? No, unless you include my cat and snake. Is your favorite color yellow? No, it's actually one of my least favorites. Were you born in a hospital? I was. Do you know the name of the person that delivered you? No, but Mom does. I think he delivered me and my two sisters, and I know Mom has seen him since for other reasons. Was your birth recorded? God no. Good call, Mom. Did you eat a peach this week? Would you believe me if I told you I had a small bit of peach pie for my sister's birthday? For some reason, I just really wanted to try some. It was okay, but the aftertaste sucked. Are you leaving the house tomorrow? Yes, for TMS therapy. Every weekday. Do you enjoy romantic movies, even when they’re cliche? I honestly do. If you could get free vocal lessons would you take them? Probably not. I don't like singing in front of anyone, and it's not like I wanna get anywhere with my singing, so. Is your mother diabetic? She is. Are you? No. Ever sang someone to sleep? No. Who do you stalk the most through Facebook? Nobody. Have you ever deleted your Facebook, then brought it back? No. What is your main responsibility each day? Be sure to take my medications. Do you feel like you fulfill those responsibilities? Yeah. There are rare mornings where I forget, but I almost always remember. I don't fw skipping out on meds that keep my mental health stable. When was the last time you used spray paint? Good question. Do you know the middle name of the last person you kissed? Yep. Who is the friendliest person you know? My mom, probably. Something that annoys you about summer: THE HEAT. THE HUMIDITY. UGH. Something that annoys you about winter: Hm. That's hard to say, given I love winter. I guess the fact it doesn't snow enough here. Are the doors of your fridge side by side or on top of one another? Side-by-side. If you’ve moved out of the house you were born in, do you know the people who live in that house now? Nope. Have you ever cried in a movie theater? Not sobbed or anything, but I've definitely teared up and gotten the sniffles because of multiple movies. Do you read comic books? No. Do you force your way into conversations in which you are not involved? No. Have you ever seriously pretended to be clinically insane? I didn't need to pretend; I'm pretty damn sure I was for a while. Might I add that it's EXTREMELY inconsiderate to pretend you're insane, btw. Insanity is not "cool." It's not "funny." It's not "edgy." It's a serious, confusing, heart-wrenching issue that can ruin lives. Do you know anyone with a stutter? Yes, myself included when I'm even mildly nervous. And sometimes just randomly. With a lisp? I don't believe so. What was the last board game you played? The Disney version of "Pretty Pretty Princess" w/ my niece and even my nephew, even though his sexist-ass dad didn't want him to. Like let your kid have some fun with his sister and aunt, goddamn. They had a blast. It was Aubree's birthday present from me, so I am SO glad she loved it. Did you win? Ha ha, no, I always let Aubree or Ryder win. I came super close once, but I let the kids bend the rules a bit. They don't like losing, and even though they definitely need to understand that just happens and is totally fine for it to, I wasn't about to be the one to make them sad about it. When was the last time you tried to speak with an accent? OH MY LAAAAAWWWWWWD. Also at Aubree's b-day party, at one point, I spoke in a snobbish British accent while I was winning at the aforementioned game. Ryder asked, "Why are you speaking Spanish?", and I fuckin DIED. Have you ever made up a word before? Yeah, I know at least a few instances for fantasy animals in writing. When was the last time you went to a museum? A couple summers ago when my brother and his son visited, we went to a science museum. My nephew was sooooo into it. Do you have a nice yard? If so, do you spend a lot of time outside in it? If not, where do you go when you want to relax outdoors on nice days? Our front and back yards are both small and honestly very boring. The grass is a pretty green, but that's the only nice thing about it. I don't go to sit outside here on any day. Do your parents enjoy any of the things that you enjoy? Do you bond over these things? My parents and I have very similar music tastes, so there's that. I also didn't know for the longest time that Mom likes to write, which I sure as hell do, too! She doesn't really write anymore though, and she's self-conscious of it anyway, like I am. She and I also love a lot of the same shows. What is the movie that you have waited the longest for/which film do you remember anticipating the most/are still anticipating? I think The Incredibles 2. I aaaalways wanted to know what happened after the end of the first film. Do you have any ideas for a story or movie you’re planning to write or you’d write if you had the time/had the talent? Please share a synopsis! I genuinely think some RP I've written is series-worthy, but I don't feel like re-writing the YEARS of RP into a book format, and I sincerely worry that the ridiculously dark parts could inspire people like serial killers and cause A LOT of controversy, crime-blaming, and just general hate. I don't want to be involved in that. What is something that an interested guy/girl could comment about you, that would make you instantly open to them (e.g., “That book you’re reading is from my favorite author”)? Compliment my Markiplier tattoo, obviously knowing it's a tribute to him, and we're essentially besties. Is there a person in your life (maybe barely) that you feel in constant competition with (even just in your imagination)? Maybe you feel they are consistently outshining you? Ugh... there's a local photographer that's much more successful than I am that I admittedly am very envious of. I swear to whatever god you may believe in that I mean it from a modest perspective, I really, really do, but I genuinely think my skills surpasses hers, and she's only more prevalent because photography REALLY is about who you know. She's talented, yes, but like... come on. If you are single, even if you are normally happily single, are there certain specific things you witness that make you wish you were in a relationship (e.g., people getting engaged)? I mean yeah. I miss cuddling, holding hands, kissing, just being cute together, and especially people getting engaged or having kids. It's such a trigger to me. Once upon a time, that's all I wanted with Jason. I wanted to be that beautiful couple that got married and had two or three loved-beyond-words children, but then he left so abruptly, and I feel like it was so brutally robbed from me. I don't want kids anymore like at all, but the point still stands that I felt like my dreams were just ripped away. Out of all your usernames for websites, which one is your favorite? Do you use it for more than one site? I use "Ozzkat" just about everywhere. Have you ever spent the whole day (or multiple days) just looking up one thing on the internet (e.g., videos of your favorite band, how-to videos, quizzes, etc.)? OHHHHHHHHHH YEAH. There have been a couple days or so where I was totally glued to looking up various tattoo designs, bingeing let's plays or conspiracy theory videos, etc. etc. If you ever think about getting married, what are some aspects of the wedding that you would like to see in a non-traditional manner (e.g., a different color dress or “partners” over “husband” and “wife”)? I WILL NOT get married in a church, first of all. I'm also not having the traditional vows, and I probably won't wear a white dress, but instead black. Salt & vinegar, barbecue, sour cream & onion, or cheddar? Ohhhh, I like all those options but barbecue. I think I've gotta go with sour cream & onion, though. Bow ties on guys, dorky or adorable? A D O R A B L E ! ! ! I think they're ordinarily geeky, but I mean, geeky is cute in my world. :^) Do you believe in demonic possession? How about ghosts? Angels? Angels, no. Spirits/ghosts, 100%. I don't exactly believe in demons, per se, but I do question if evil spirits can possess someone. What is one romantic movie that you enjoy enough to watch more than once? I've seen The Notebook numerous times. Name three countries you want to visit; why those three? South Africa to interact with meerkats at the KMP, somewhere up in Canada to see the Northern Lights, and Germany just because, really. I took German for four semesters, and the culture and all just interests me. Do you have a good luck charm? No, considering I don't believe they do jack. Do you use Skype to talk to your friends? Only Sara. Now that I have Discord semi-figured out now though, we'll probably use that for voice chatting. Are you allergic to any animals? I might be allergic to dogs. Do you usually spend your weekends out, or at home? I'm like... always at home. Do you think it’s wrong for people to say "retard/retarded" as an insult? Absofuckinglutely. Don't pull that shit when I'm around. Have you ever had to go to the police department? No. Have you ever lived through a hurricane? Plenty. Have you ever had a home-grown tomato? Yes, from my old friend's garden. We'd have delicious tomato, mayo, and bacon sandwiches. The only instance where I've enjoyed tomatoes. Have you ever held a real gun? The former friend I mentioned just before, her husband always carried a gun, and he just needed me to hold it for a sec for some reason I don't recall. I hated the feeling. Would you rather wear Converse or Vans? I like both, but I think I prefer Converse. Have you ever been called bipolar? Yes, because I clinically am. Have you ever made fun of a handicapped person? FUCK no. And like the "retarded" thing, don't you fucking DARE to do this in front of me. I WILL deck the shit out of you. Do you think it’s okay to have sex before marriage? Sure, as long as you're being safe and are very thorough in communication. Do you like to watch old sitcoms? I don't really watch TV as I say in like every survey it seems, but I do enjoy some old sitcoms I grew up watching with my mom, like The Nanny, The Golden Girls, The Munsters, etc. If asked, could you run a mile nonstop right now? Being completely serious, I don't even know if I CAN physically run right now. My legs are so incredibly weak, and I'm humiliatingly close to what my heaviest weight was back in 2016, so I can almost guarantee my knees would crumple if I tried. Do you wear those rubber wristbands? I used to. I don't really like bracelets nowadays. If a necklace/ring gives you green marks, do you still wear it? Nope. Have you ever driven an electric car? No. When was the last time you saw someone you went to high school with? Uhhhh idk. What breed was the last dog you saw? A fucking GOLIATH of a lab. I shit you not when I say my sister's roommate's dog Hudson is the size of a goddamn bear. How long have your parents been together (or how long were they together, if they no longer are): I wanna say they were together at the very least 20 years. What has been your most epic cooking failure? I once accidentally put something (I don't remember what) in the microwave for around 45 minutes I believe, and I walked away and completely forgot about it. I remembered a long while later, and safe to say, it wasn't edible, whatever it was, lmao. Have you ever been to Mexico? No. Have you ever had a parrot sit on your shoulder? No, but that'd be cool. Has anyone in your life ever treated you abusively? No. How long has it been since your last breakup? Somewhere around two years ago? My memory is so garbage nowadays. Can you concentrate well while listening to music, or do you find it distracting? It's distracting, usually. What’s something you’ve been struggling with lately? I've been pretty bad about drinking too much soda lately. :/

[robsroadtorecovery]

Daily(ish) Updates

On Thursday March 28th, Rob went to the ER for stomach pains. He ended up being checked into a hospital in Corona and they did several tests including a bone marrow biopsy. They discovered that he had a low platelet count, high white blood cell count, and an enlarged spleen. He’s needed plasma transfusions to keep his platelet level up. On April 1st he was informed that he has Philadelphia chromosome positive (Ph+) B-cell acute lymphoblastic leukemia (ALL) and was transferred to UC Irvine Health.

April 3th

-Rob started chemotherapy. His medications for the first three days will be cyclophosphamide (chemotherapy) and mesna (chemoprotectant to reduce side effects). 

-His parents visited him and said that the medication was administered through IV and can take 3 hours to finish the treatment. 

April 4th

-Rob took dasatinib orally, which is another treament for ALL. 

-His sons, Chris and Trey, visited him. 

-Rob said he felt fine but the doctors said that the side effects of chemo are usually felt after 48 hours.

April 6th

-Rob had vincristine and doxorubicin through IV, which are used to treat a variety of cancers. 

-He finished his first round of chemo and he said he felt weak but on the mend.

-He was able to take a walk around the floor.

-The doctors will now monitor his blood production and figure out the next steps in his treatment.

April 7th

-Even though his chemo ended yesterday, they gave him an extra chemo pill.

-He was feeling nauseous and didn’t eat or drink much.

-He was also tired because his bed moves constantly to prevent bed sores but that makes it hard for him to sleep.

-He maintained good blood pressure even when feeling sick, which usually doesn’t happen when he’s sick at home.

April 8th

-He had bad muscle spasms that moved from his back up to his chest. The doctors gave him an EKG and the results looked normal.

-He was able to take a walk today and was in less pain.

-He ate some food and received IV fluids due to dehydration.

-The doctor said he’ll go home in a few weeks and when he starts his next round of chemo it’ll be scheduled and they’ll have a bed ready for him at the hospital. Not sure if the future stay will be a month long like this current one. He is already on his second round of chemo. He will take dasatinib every day until remission since it’s seen as a maintenance drug.

April 11th

-Bob and Linda visited Rob and they said he was in good spirits. He’s still nauseous and vomiting.

-He received a blood transfusion rather than a plasma transfusion. A nurse said that at this stage it’s not unusual for him to get a blood transfusion every day. It is unsure whether or not the blood transfusion is needed due to his low platelet count or if his blood production is lowered due to the chemo. (I’ll ask Heather to ask the next time she visits.)

-Erica visited a couple days before and said he had a CT scan of his legs when she was visiting. They were looking for blood clots but luckily they didn’t see anything. Previously we thought he had a CT scan in his legs to check for blood clots but it was actually an ultrasound. 

-He also had a CT scan while Bob and Linda were visiting. They scanned his lungs since he’s been congested but didn’t see anything. They didn’t seem too worried about blood clots but it was just a precaution.

April 12th

-Heather said he had a low fever and they had to wait for it to go away before he had his blood transfusion.

-He has a sore throat and lesions in his mouth and throat from the chemo. It has made it painful for him to swallow.

-He seemed more upbeat today.

April 13th

-He was pretty groggy today and was dozing off due to his fatigue.

-He gets blood transfusions because his hemoglobin levels are low. He has blood in his urine and stool so that’s probably why he needs blood transfusions. The doctors say this is from the chemo.

-He had another platelet transfusion today.

-He was given chemo today and yesterday. Heather isn’t sure what’s going on because when she spoke to the oncologist she was told that there would be a break in between rounds of chemo. She will try to speak to someone the next time she visits to get a clear answer.

-Rob was able to get out of bed and shower today and was in a pretty good mood.

April 14th

-He will have a new procedure done tomorrow to figure out what is causing his congestion. It’s called a flexible bronchoscopy with bronchoalveolar lavage. The bronchoscopy is a flexible tube that has a camera and lighting. The bronchoalveolar lavage is the process of flushing the lungs with saline and can be suctioned back through the tube. They may take biopsies which will be done with a little Pacman looking tool that can take chunks of the lung. If there is bleeding they will use argon plasma coagulation to cauterize any bleeds. He will be under twilight sleep during this process which means he’s anesthetized but still verbal.

-In preparation for this procedure, they gave him a platelet transfusion today and will give him another one in the morning. 

-He is already on his second round of chemo. He will take dasatinib every day until remission since it’s seen as a maintenance drug. I was told there would be a break in between rounds of chemo but Rob confirmed that he’s on his second round. 

-(Backstory: Rob has a habit of falling asleep on the couch and when he was woken up to move upstairs he would sit on the edge of the couch and rock back and forth while falling back asleep. It was hard for Heather to wake him up and he would occasionally fall forward.) So last night he started to do the same thing. He was getting ready to get out of bed and the bed has sensors that notified the staff that he was getting up. He had one foot on the floor and ended up leaning forward on the bed. The staff tried calling his name and nudging him awake but he didn’t respond. They ended up laying him on his back and shined lights in his face. He woke up at that point and was responsive but he said he barely remembered what happened. They gave him a brain CT without contrast because they were worried he had a stroke due to his confused state and how hard it was for them to wake him up. It came out negative.

-He can’t use his CPAP machine when sleeping because it hurts his lungs when his diaphragm expands.

-He’s noticed that it’s been easier to breathe as the chemo progresses because the cancer cells are leaving his body.

-He said he also gets blood transfusions because he’s bleeding internally and when he has bloody urine or stool it’s because the cancer cells are leaving his body.

-He said he has been feeling “dumpy” the past few days but he feels a lot better today.

-He has been on constant fluids since checking into the hospital but today they skipped it because he is now too hydrated to the point of having puffy skin.

-They’re keeping track of his electrolyte levels because it’s important that they stay in a good range.

-Previously we thought he had a CT scan in his legs to check for blood clots but it was actually an ultrasound. 

-He has had a CT scan with contrast in his abdomen as well as twice for his chest once with contrast and once without. He has had a CT scan for his lungs. They’re searching for blood clots, lesions, or more cancer.

-The doctors are already talking about bone marrow transplant. Ideally, they would do it while he’s in remission. His parents, siblings, and children can get tested to see if they’re a match to donate bone marrow. His children are the best candidates because they’re younger and can bounce back quickly from the procedure. It seems like the testing would be a simple blood draw.

-He said that he hospital has decent food.

April 16th

-The bronchoscopy was yesterday and he was awake for the procedure. They took samples of the stuff found in his lung and tested it. Most likely, they are culturing it to figure out what it is. Then they flushed his lungs with liquid and sucked it back out of the tube. 

-He has a coccidioidomycosis infection, also known as Valley Fever. It doesn’t look like it has spread. He will have to take antifungal medication twice a day. He thinks he may have had this infection for a long time, even before being admitted into the hospital. He has had slightly elevated levels of white blood cells when he would get blood work done and he thinks it could be due to this infection. And when the chemo was introduced, it gave the fungus the opportunity to thrive. The antifungal medication can mess with his blood sugar so it needs to be monitored.

-He has two doctors on his team. One is a specialist who works with patients undergoing chemo with cancer in their lymphatic system and how they fight infections. The other is an infection disease doctor.

-For the past 4-5 days he’s been having an injection that is supposed to help him produce red blood cells.

-He had a platelet transfusion yesterday. He now bruises easily.

-He also had a PICC line inserted when he was transferred to this hospital. It’s a catheter that is placed in a vein in his arm and it goes all the way into the large veins near his heart. It makes it easier for him to get his medications or to get his blood drawn.

-He has been stumbling with his words, which may be a side effect and he’s still nauseous. He has lost 15 pounds so far.

-His hair started to fall out today.

-He’s had 5 CT scans with contrast so far. The hospital he was originally at did too many of them in a row and it affected his kidneys. The doctors at his current hospital were worried about kidney failure so they have been watching his kidneys closely.

-He had a lot of good sleep and was able to use his CPAP machine last night. He had a lot of energy today. He was able to walk around the hospital floor as well.

April 21st

-Rob is now home!

-He had really good numbers (platelet, red blood cell, electrolyte count) and was given the okay to leave the hospital.

-He has thrush, which is causing lesions in his mouth and esophagus.

-He’s on oxygen and has to carry around an O2 tank.

-His next meeting with his doctor will be on the 26th.

April 26th

-Not too much has been happening since he’s been home.

-He’s been sleeping a lot.

-His appointment with his doctor today went well and they talked about next steps. He’ll need to get another bone marrow biopsy to see if he’ll need to check back into the hospital and start other chemotherapy treatments. It’s possible he could be in remission.

May 3rd

-He will be checking in tomorrow for another hospital stay. It is unclear how long he will stay there.

-He had the bone marrow biopsy done but he doesn’t know the results so we don’t know if he’s in remission. He needs to be in remission in order to get a bone marrow transplant. Otherwise, he will continue with chemotherapy until he’s in remission.

-His levels are borderline okay so he was still getting transfusions while he was at home.

-He has lost 50 pounds so far.

-Hopefully he can talk to his doctors today to get more information about what the next steps will be.

May 5th

-He has checked back into the hospital. He’s expected to only stay for a week this time. He’s on his “second round” of chemo. He’s been on one chemo pill throughout this entire process but now he’s on the second round of other types of chemo.

-Preliminary results show that he may be in remission. Further tests will be done to confirm the remission.

May 17th

-Updates are now being reported by Heather rather than Rob. He hasn’t been well enough to talk on the phone.

-He was discharged last Wednesday. He was supposed to be discharged on Tuesday but he still had high levels of his new chemo drug, methotrexate, in his system so they kept him for another day.

-He had diarrhea for several days after being discharged and on Friday, it was so bad that they went to the ER. But the wait there was between 4-12 hours and he eventually felt better so they just went home.

-He had labs done on Saturday as well as a platelet infusion. He also had a vitamin shot to help him produce more blood cells, I think it’s B12?

-He had a really bad sore throat on Sunday and it was so bad that he couldn’t take his evening pills.

-He’s nauseous today, which makes it hard for him to drink and eat.

-He has another lab appointment tomorrow and depending on the results he may also get another platelet infusion.

-He has lost 60 pounds so far.

-He has a doctor’s appointment on Thursday and hopefully he’ll have the results back from his bone marrow biopsy to confirm that he’s in remission.

May 20th

-The doctor said that he’s essentially in remission even if the test results haven’t come in yet to confirm he’s in remission on a molecular level.

-He will still have to finish his rounds of chemo even though he’s already in remission. He will have 6 more rounds done. If he doesn’t complete all 8 rounds of chemo then there’s a possibility for him to relapse. The bone marrow transplant isn’t enough to keep him in remission, it needs to be all 8 rounds of chemo plus the transplant.

-Since he’s in remission, they will start the bone marrow transplant process. They will need to talk to his insurance to see which hospital the transplant can be done in because sometimes UCI Medical Center can’t do it with certain insurances.

-The transplant can be done starting now until the end of his last round of chemo.

May 31st

-He will most likely check into the hospital next week for this third round of chemo. His hospital stay should only last a week.

-He’s still tired and nauseous but getting better. He has his color in his face back and isn’t relying on the oxygen tank as often.

June 3rd

-On June 1st, he had labs done and almost fainted while at the office. They gave him an infusion of fluids and labs came back showing his creatine levels have almost doubled since Saturday (May 29th). The high levels made them concerned about his kidneys and they told him to go to the ER. The ER told him he had a urinary tract infection.

-He was given IV antibiotics and was discharged the next day.

-He was supposed to start his third round of chemo today but since he's still on antibiotics they will postpone the treatment.

June 30th

-Rob went in for his 3rd round on June 18th and he check out about a week later.

-He had a 7 week gap between his 2nd and 3rd round of chemo and apparently that isn't good. It's supposed to be a 3 week gap in between and any longer than that could mean the chemotherapy won't be as effective. But he was pretty sick during those 7 weeks and they wanted him to feel better before he started chemo. So we believe the doctor's weren't assertive enough when telling him about this 3 week period even though he saw his doctors weekly.

-He is now at home but isn't feeling great after the 3rd round of chemo.

-His insurance won't cover the bone marrow transplant at the hospital he goes to so he will have to find another hospital that will qualify.

July 1st

-He is now on his fourth round of chemo. This one is an out patient procedure. He goes in to get his dose of chemo and then heads home afterwards rather than checking into a hospital for a week.

-He started feeling a lot better after several days of not feeling well at all. He got his appetite and his energy back but not sure how long it will last since he started his fourth round.

July 20th

-He started his fourth round of chemo yesterday. They originally thought the outpatient chemo was the fourth round but it was just remnants of the third round. He will finish it up in four days.

-City of Hope was chosen to be the transplant hospital and his sisters are being tests to see if they're match. If not, they'll look for a match on the registry and if that isn't successful then his sons will be tested. They are half matches so they're not ideal.

-He is officially in molecular remission based off of a test they did with his bone marrow biopsy.

-At the moment he isn't a good candidate because he is too weak. He will have to get his strength up in the next couple of months in order to get the bone marrow transplant.

August 4th

-He had trouble breathing so he was taken to a hospital in Anaheim via ambulance.

-He had a CT scan and was given antibiotics.

-They diagnosed him with pneumonia and transferred him to Foothill Regional Hospital in Tustin.

August 6th

-He was transferred to the ICU this morning.

-He didn't eat last night and didn't want to eat this morning either.

-He was disoriented and that worried the doctor so they gave him another CT scan.

-Heather is trying to get him transferred to the UCI Medical Center since that's where he's been getting his chemo and it's a bigger hospital.

[harleenfleck]

“Alex Day” (Chapter 3)

Arthur Fleck x Original Character (OC)

Summary: Arthur Fleck is a young man who hates his life despite his young age: School is hell, his mother wants to control every aspect of his life, and has a strange condition that is difficult to explain to others, a condition which has caused him all those laughs and blows against him. But one day her luck changes when she meets the new girl in sky-blue shoes on the first day of school. A girl from California.

Warnings: Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Drama, Bullying, Friendship/Love, Sadness

Chapter 1, Chapter 2

AO3 (full work)

Notes:  I am very sorry if I have grammatical or spelling errors, English is not my mother tongue!

Enjoy it!

...

Chapter 3: Conversations

A beautiful warmth blossomed on his chest, a new feeling. Just feeling the arms of Alex around him, her hand putting on her neck, causing him to put his head on her shoulder.

He wished he would not ruin that moment with his laughter, but he only heard whispers from her voice, saying that everything was fine.

“It’s okay… It’s okay…”

It didn’t take long for Arthur to calm down; the laugh decided to leave him alone. Arthur could now breathe quietly. However, he still felt a little embarrassed.

“Uh… Alex?”

“Yes, Arthur?”

“I’m sorry…”

“What?” Alex separated his head, but still hugging him. She looked at him, stunned; why was he apologizing to her? “Why do you say you’re sorry? You don’t have to apologize”

“But... It’s just that this. It is very embarrassing for me...”

“But this is not your fault”

“But sometimes... Sometimes I feel like it is...”

Alex’s eyebrows curved over, and the concern was drawn on her face, suddenly feeling so much sadness and pity for Arthur, perhaps that’s why others referred to him as a “freak.”

“Do you want to go somewhere else?”

“Hey... Yes... Sure... Please”

It wasn’t long when Arthur and Alex were sitting on a small bench in the schoolyard.

“This... Well... Doctors keep studying why I have this... This...” Arthur was ashamed to explain his condition to Alex; he considered it a bad thing.

“The laugh?”

“Yes, the laugh... It looks like I’ve had it since I was born, my mom said that. She says it must have been some malformation while she was pregnant. I have to take some medications to control it, but it’s a rare illness, they don’t know what it’s exactly...”

Arthur felt weird, explaining to someone what his condition was, stranger to him than anyone interested in him. Alex only listened intently to everything Arthur told her. Arthur was someone extraordinary; Alex could perceive it.

“This only happens to me when I’m very stressed or focused, even when I’m scared... Well, it happens when I have negative emotions. My mom had to explain to the Principal about this because the teachers didn’t believe me, they already do, but the others don’t... Or maybe they understand, but they misinterpret...”

Arthur stopped explaining. At the moment, he finally expected Alex’s rejection because that’s how always happened with him. For that horrendous laugh. It was the part he hated most about himself.

However, the last thing Alex thought was to reject him. Alex made a retrospective of the day, all the moments she spent with Arthur until that instant.

And without him expecting it, Alex delicately took Arthur’s hand. He trembled with that little touch, feeling her hand, her skin.

“Arthur, I’m so sorry you had to pass this”

“I’m getting used to it”

“But that’s not okay… It’s not okay everyone to treat you like you are someone bad”

“Maybe I am…”

“Arthur… I know this will sound crazy, I haven’t known you for half a day, and I think you’re a good person.”

Arthur felt his heartbeat quickly as he listened to Alex's words.

“You think that?”

“Yeah, I want you to be my friend, Arthur”

At the time, Arthur realized that he could not miss his opportunity, but he still feared so much for Alex.

“But, they, if they see you with me, they could mess with you, and I don’t want that for you. You’re the new girl, and you deserve better friends than I do.”

Alex let out a sarcastic laugh in that instant, laughter that scared Arthur a little.

“Better friends? Today I lunch with some of that “better friends”; they’re avaricious shit. I told them I was from California, and they wanted to know precisely which part; they asked me if my dad had an important job, they even tried to know it if he made a lot of money. I’m not going to stand for fake friends.”

At that moment, Arthur watched her admiringly; she was incredible; she could spot who bad people were and didn’t even let them into her life.

That meant he wasn’t a bad person?

Feeling a little better, Arthur hugged Alex again; she hugged him. Not having had a hug for a long time made him think a lot of things.

For the rest of the day, Alex decided not to change her seat in the classroom, while Arthur smiled from time to time, he finally had a friend.

…

Arthur returned home very animated. He had never happened anything like this, he had never had a friend, and was so grateful to the life of having sent him a special friend.

He opened his apartment door and came in.

"Happy?"

"Hello, mom!"

Arthur almost screamed with joy. Penny left the kitchen to watch her son arrive.

"Happy, look at you, you look very... Oh well, happy."  Penny noticed Arthur's outstanding happiness, if she could, would take a picture of him, Arthur had always been someone sad, and watching him smile was a phenomenon not to be missed

"Oh mom, of course, I'm happy, today was a good day at school." Arthur almost screamed with emotion, couldn't stand it, because he really felt great.

"I told you Happy; I told you were going to have a good day."

"It was more than good! Mom, I have a friend! A real friend, mom!"

"A friend? I'm glad you have a new friend." Penny smiled at her son without showing his teeth, she found it a little strange that Arthur said he had a "real friend."

"Then you tell me about your new friend, help me put the dishes on the table."

"Yes Mom, three dishes?"

"Nah, Charlie's not here."

"Really? Did he go to work or something?"

"No, he made me angry again, he brought back the subject of his wife and his children, and he knows I hate that subject..." Arthur wished he could stop listening, as he hated hearing much of his mother's problems with her boyfriend. Once the two sat at the table, eating some meat with potatoes, Penny put her boyfriend's theme aside, and eventually, Arthur could talk about what had him happy that day.

"Mom, I want to tell you about my friend."

"Oh, of course, your new friend! Tell me about it!" Arthur was ready to tell Penny everything.

"She's a girl, a really pretty girl, her name is Alexandra, but she likes to be called Alex, she's very kind."

"Oh... she's a girl..." The enthusiasm to know of Arthur's new friend ceased when Penny discovered she was a girl.

"Yes, she's one of the happiest people I've ever met, she's got a beautiful smile, and I think she's an angel."

"An angel, we climb this fast"

"Oh Ma, if only you knew, it’s just that I had a... One of my attacks and she helped me. And she is from California mom! You know how much I want to visit California someday, and she's like a little piece of my dream in my life, it's like she-"

"California, this gives me distrust".

Arthur's excitement and smile for telling his mother all about Alex stopped.

"What?"

"That you said to me, she's from California, and that's a very liberal place. I've heard that the women of California are... Well, let's leave it to us that they're very immoral".

Arthur stopped breathing. Why does his mom say that?

"B-but Mom, she's not like that the women you said. She's very nice to me; I don't think-"

"Happy, you just met her today, just wait a few days, and her true nature will come out. Be careful with her; I don't want you to fall into her trap".

He couldn't believe it; he couldn't believe what his mother was saying. And he needed to defend Alex.

"Mom! She's not like…!"

And was interrupted for Penny.

"Oh! Now you're going to say I'm not correct? Are you going to start with that again? Happy, I'm not telling you these things to bother you, you're my son, and I care about you. It would help if you didn't get hurt.”

“But they've all hurt me already. She's different, I can feel it”

"Just because you feel that doesn't mean it's true"

"B-but mom, she-"

Not wanting to hear her son's reasons, Penny decided to stop Arthur.

"I don't want yo be friend that girl".

Arthur was silent for a few seconds, shocked. And instantly, he yelled at his mother aloud.

"Why not? She's the only friend I have, the only one for the first time in years! And you don't want her to be my friend?!"

"Don't raise your voice, boy, is that how you thank everything I do for you? I do everything for you to have a better life so that we can get ahead, leave this crap hole of an apartment, and that's how you pay me?"

Penny's words said to Arthur froze him, like if he had done something wrong like being left in detention or robbing something of a store. Suddenly Arthur felt that tingling in his throat again. Arthur tried to get off the table.

"Not!" Penny yelled to him, "You will stay here."

"B-B-But"

"Stop hiding that, that's part of you."

I don't want this to be a part of me.

The laugh returned. Arthur tried to hide it, but whenever he had an attack in front of Penny, she forced him not to hide his laughter, despite how much he hated his laugh.

After a long and dying minute, Arthur was able to calm down.

"Arthur, I don't know why you do that; you know that condition is yours."

"I hate it."

"Hate it?! But Happy, remember, this condition it's a blessing in your life."

No again with that, please...

"I don't like this; what kind of bless it is?"

"Happy, you always forget everything I tell you. You know God gave you that laugh for a reason, remember what that reason is, Happy? Can you say that reason for Mom?"

Arthur tried never to see his mother with hate because he could never hate her in his life, but situations like that were very wearing for him. With his eyes weeping and still trembling, Arthur said the reason:

"To bring laughter and joy into this fucked up world."

A loud noise. It was a blow, a direct blow to Arthur's hand that was on the table. It was Penny's fist.

Arthur screamed in pain and took his hand to himself.

"What have we said about swearwords, Happy?"

Penny crossed her arms and looked authority at her son.

"Sorry, Ma..."

His hand was still hurting.

"I'm going to go to the store; Charlie left some money before he screws it up again; you want to buy for you that bread you always like it?"

Arthur only stared at his mother. He didn't understand her sometimes. She always criticized him when he said swearwords despite his age, but she told those words out loud. That time, she slammed Alex, his friend, a lot, saying she was probably an immoral woman when Penny was dating a married man.

But there were many things Arthur feared to question her, and he would not, because of the simple fact that she was his mother and should respect her authority.

"Yeah... Thank you, Ma"

"Okay, I'll be back."

And without doing anything else, Penny went for her purse and left the apartment.

Arthur, just at last, went to the couch and dropped on this one.

He just wanted to tell his mom that he had finally got a friend; what's the problem if she was a girl? What's the problem if she came from California?

When Penny gave Arthur orders about how he should behave or make decisions, Arthur followed them blindly, without questioning her.

But this time, it was very different. Too much. And he didn't want to stop being friend with Alex just because his mother made a wrong assumption about her. Arthur firmly believed that the first day was going to be hell and thanks to Alex it was quite the opposite of that.

For the first time, he decided not to follow her mother's order; perhaps he could convince her that Alex is not a bad person in the future.

She definitely isn't.

…

"How was your day today, sweetheart?"

In a completely different atmosphere, full of peace, with some music on a record player with a vinyl, Alex was sitting on the balcony of her house, watching the sunset from afar. She had been distracted by her mother, who came home from work, approaching her daughter, wanting to hear from her.

"Mommy"

Her mother put her hands in Alex’s shoulders, Alex took one of her mother’s hands and stroked her, every time her mom gave to Alex a show of affection, she would receive it

" Was it a good first day? You made new friends, sweetheart?”

Alex smiled at her mother; she took a seat in another chair near to her.

"It was a very rare day mommy, but in the end, it was worth it."

"Really, honey? Why was it worth it?"

Alex smiled again; Alex's smile always gave happiness to others; her family was not going to be the exception.

"Well, after you and Dad left me at school, I walked in, and it's very different from California. The people here seem to be cold, like Gotham".

"Cold?"

"Yes…” Alex played with the braid of her hair, braid that was made after her bath “I tried to find the classroom before, as you said, but I had my pen in my hand, and the ink came out, and it stained my hands. I ran to the women's room to wash my hands, but I don't think they have anything to say the bathrooms are men's or women's."

"Why do you say that?"

"I think I accidentally went into the men's room."

"Oh, Alex!" His mother began to laugh, "How could you confuse that?" Alex started laughing with his mom too.

"I don't know! It just happened! But if I hadn't made a mistake, I wouldn't have met my first friend in Gotham."

"Your first friend? Oh my god, I want to hear this!"

At that instant, Alex's eyes lit up, she tried to hide that, but it was a failure, her mother realized that.

"Well, his name is Arthur, Arthur Fleck... He's a boy... Well..."

"Is he handsome? Look, you blushed."

And Alex took her fingers to one of her cheeks; it was true what his mother was saying.

"N-No, I mean! Yes, I think he's cute, and he-"

"I caught you, girl!”

"Mommy! Let me finish!" Alex almost yelled at her mom a little upset because she wouldn't let her talk.

"Okay, I'm sorry"

"Well... I think he's a good boy, but he's a little sad."

"Sad? Oh, why he's sad?" Her mother's expression of laughter disappeared and instead, one of dismay appeared. Alex didn't know if it was right to talk about it with her mom, but she knew she could trust her.

"Oh mom, I think he's in a lot of problems. When I walked into the bathroom, I heard someone cry, I thought I imagined it, but I didn't. I asked if he needed help, and he opened the door. He tried to hide he was crying front me, but his eyes are red"

"Oh, I hope he'll okay right now."

"I hope it the same thing, but it's not his only problem. He has another... And it's kind of weird. At lunchtime, he had something like a... attack..."

"Attack? Asthma attack?"

"No, a laughing attack"

"Laughing? Oh, he must be a very sympathetic guy!"

Her mother laughed with innocence, but Alex was serious. Her mother decided to remain silent.

"No Mom, he showed me a card; the card said something like, "Forgive my laughter; I have a condition." After his attack he told me about it. Since he was born, he has a condition, something in his brain went wrong, and he has sudden attacks of laughter. It looks like he'd be laughing at a joke or something, but he's actually under a lot of stress."

"Oh my...  Oh, Poor boy."

"But something weird was going on with him, he was asking me sorry for his condition, he said he didn't want to bother me. Many don't want him at school because of his condition, and others make fun of that. He told me he didn't want us to be friends because he was afraid of they'd do the same to me.

"Oh, please tell me you didn't listen to him."

"Of course not! Besides, the others at school are a fucking idiots; they thought I’m coming from L.A. we were rich or something."

"But honey, we-"

"Mom, I don't want fake friendships, I'd rather have a friend like Arthur than have 100 fake friends."

Her mother saw her with great pride. Alex's heart must have been golden. “Oh, Alex, as extraordinary as ever”

“I'd love to have more friends, but I want Arthur to be with them. I want to help him a lot.”

“You could do it, honey, you can help him, as long as you can help someone else try it.”

Alex smiled at his mom again. Again, she thought again of Arthur, and as she did so, she would play again with the tip of her braid.

"Dad is coming to dinner soon?"

"Will you, help me prepare dinner?"

"Of course, I do!"

…

The next day, Alex sat in the same place again, right next to Arthur. She was waiting for him, with happiness. Arthur, when he arrived in class, he tried to get in quickly, unnoticed, but seeing Alex sitting next to his chair made him feel safe.

"Good morning Arthur"

"Morning Alex, ready for your second day?"

"Ready for all the days"

The next few days, they passed normally, at least for Alex, little by little, she began to make more friends in the class, especially with the girls.

Although she was trying to get Arthur to join them, Arthur simply said: "I don't want to bother the others" Alex didn't show to Arthur but sometimes that behavior disappointed her a little. But she'd be patient with him because she really wanted to help Arthur.

Arthur and Alex laughed together between classes, talking about a joke, about how Ms. Joy was getting mad again about nonsense, or they just talked about meaningless things and laughed together again.

Of course, the rest of the class realized that especially the three guys who always bothered Arthur.

"Why is that idiot with her? Are they a couple?"

"I don't think so, I think she just has pity on him."

They saw with annoyance the two of them, especially Arthur

"Poor her when she wants to get him off her"

"I could help her with that" One of them opened her mouth, and her two friends laughed.

"But Jeff, don't you have a girlfriend?"

"So what? Can't I play with that doll?"

All three laughed a little higher.

Arthur realized they laughter and feared that those guys who always bothered him about his condition, they always were making fun of him.

"Is something wrong, Arthur?"

Alex asked when she saw the expression on Arthur's face changed abruptly. Arthur didn't know what to say at those time. Maybe those idiots made fun of them, or they laughed at something else, and maybe he was getting paranoid. Arthur hadn't told Alex about those three guys who always bothered him every time they had the chance.

However, since Alex entered school, they hadn't even crossed their eyes with him, would they finally leave him alone? Or would they be planning something worse?

Arthur looked at Alex, if they were planning something horrible, he couldn't let them hurt her, he had to protect her, he had to protect his best friend.

"I think I forgot the math homework at my house."

"Oh, don't worry, I can help you with that."

"Oh... Thank you, Alex, thank you..."

Yes, Arthur had to protect her from the adversity.

[all-by-myself98]

Shared Sorrows

Fandom: Kingsman (Set after TGC)

Prompt: In a world where people have their soulmate's name on their body somewhere, Reader and B don't have each other's name, but fall in love anyway.

Character: Jack Daniels (AKA Agent Whiskey)

   It had started out simple between you and Jack. You met at a bar you began working at. A guy had groped you in a not-so-innocent manner and he kicked his ass and threw him out. You thanked him with a refill of whiskey on the house.

   Then he began coming almost every week around the same time. Sometimes, he was alone, other times he had a few people from work with him.

   You really hadn’t meant to gain such a schoolgirl crush on the older man but you had felt lonely for years and to have a man treat you so kindly and so protectively like your own soulmate used to had triggered old feelings. Feelings of happiness and sadness. Safety and grief.

   A month after you had originally met Jack, you had to take some time off from work because of these feelings surfacing up and forcing you to mourn once again.

   The next week you’re back, you try to avoid his eyes but fail on numerous occasions. When it was finally time for your shift to end, he approaches you.

   “I don’t mean to be so forward,” he starts, “but I was wonderin’ if I could take you out after your shift ends. Maybe for some late dinner?”

   You’re hesitating right now. The sweet girl with the crush wants to know Jack more, but the strong young woman who failed to live a full and prosperous life with her true soulmate tells you no. He probably has his own soulmate waiting somewhere out there.

   “It don’t have to be a date if you don’t want it. Just two friends talkin’.” He assures. “I’m not lookin’ for a date or anything, just to talk. Get to know you.”

   This relaxes the heartbroken woman inside of you. “Okay... I’m off in 5. Meet me out front?” He nods in agreement.

   When you see Jack afterwards leaning on a dark blue truck, you’re still nervous. You know he said it isn’t a date, but you’re still scared shitless that he’ll expect something of you. Maybe him saving the day when he first met you was all a big long-term ploy to get in your pants. Maybe he’s nothing like your sweet Vincent was.

   The place he takes you to is a small diner just off the interstate, open 24/7 and wafting with burgers and fries once you enter. “Hope you don’t mind the place. I just love their bacon burgers.”

   You’re familiar with the place a little bit. Some of your coworkers go here to get food after their late night shifts too. They always try and convince you to join them because they know how much of a sucker you are for soft-serve ice cream and apparently this place has the best homemade selections. Problem is, you never accepted their invites because you don’t go out much since Vincent.

   “I’ve heard of their ice cream. Supposed to be good.” You reply.

   “You ain’t from around here.” He can probably tell due to your lack of a southern accent. Why else would someone drop everything and move to Kentucky? The fried chicken?

   “I’m not. I’m from the New England area.”

   You continue talking on and off through the night. You order your food and Jack screws around with the karaoke for a little bit to find a good song. Once he finally rests on a choice and your food arrives, you talk some more. Just simple things. Favorite food, favorite vacation spot, ideal pet, and so much more. Slowly, you begin to delve more into personal things.

   “Why leave New England for this piss poor place?” It was the question you had been dreading this whole time. Why come here? Why leave home? What’s here that isn’t there? “You don’t gotta answer if you’re not comfortable.”

   You shake your head. “I’m okay... It’s just hard to talk about.”

   He places one of his hands on yours and squeezes gently. He doesn’t want to frighten you away but he want’s to tell you he’s here to talk to and it’s okay. “You take all the time you need.”

   Thinking of Vincent is always difficult to do. You had loved him with all your heart. Hell, his name, now charred and written in ashy gray letters, rested right above your left hipbone. And your name had been on his left pec, rested right above his heart.

   “My husband... My soulmate... His name was Vincent. He passed away two years ago. I just couldn’t live in that place anymore without him.”

   There was silence for a few moments before he squeezes your hand once more. “I’m so sorry... That must have been horrible.”

   “I mean, I really should have been more prepared. Should have expected it more.” You counter, slipping your hand away from him. “He’d been struggling with illnesses his whole life. By the end of it, he couldn’t even walk.”

   He stops you by grabbing your hand back. “You should never have to expect that to happen. Losing someone as important as your soulmate... It’s harsh and powerful and it kills a part of you. You’re no longer whole.”

   You can feel his true and honest empathy. He really knows your pain because he too has felt it. “And your soulmate? Who were they?”

   Jack seems to double back, slips his hand off of you and leans back into the booth. He’s angry and pissed off.

   “If you don’t want to share, that’s okay.” You assure, reaching for his hand to squeeze it in comfort just as he did earlier.

   “No, it’s the least I could do after everythin’ you told me. It just... wasn’t as peaceful.” He takes a deep breath and steels himself. “It was... goddamn, over 20 years ago. Her name was Maria. She was pregnant with our son. But she went out shoppin’ and some druggies robbed the store...” He looks like he wants to say more about it. The way he spoke so venomously about the ‘druggies’. But he takes in another deep breath. “Cops said wrong place, wrong time...”

   “My god...” You almost continue to speak but the waitress comes by.

   “Food treating y’all okay? Were you looking to stay for dessert?” She asks. Her cheery and happy tone seems to be a bit ironic considering the mood of the table before she came by and what you were talking about.

   “Just a dessert menu please, Carol.” Jack mumbles. She leaves as quickly as she arrived, fake smile still plastered to her face.

   You almost continue to talk, tell him you feel horrible for him. He does the talking instead.

   “I almost tried to kill ‘em. Those druggies. Twice. First time, they almost got away with no jail time. I followed ‘em out the courthouse, had a switchblade from my stint in the army... Someone stopped me and took me in, helped me. Second time, those same people stopped me again, gave me a second chance I don’t deserve.”

   You counter his words. “We all deserve a second chance. Every single one of us. And maybe that’s idealist of me but it’s what I believe.”

   Carol the waitress comes back, dessert menu in hand, and places it on the counter, “I’ll come by in 5 to see if you’re ready.”

   She leaves and you two no longer talk about Vincent or Maria for the rest of the dinner. You are all cried out and much too tired to think about it any longer.

   So you go back to talking about small and meaningless stuff. Your dream jobs as a child, favorite movie, anything you can think of.

   After you get your dessert and Jack generously pays for the whole meal (despite your complaints that it wasn’t necessary), you walk in silence back to his truck. It’s 2 AM now. You admire the stars above for a bit before a question pops into your head.

   “Do you think they’re watching us now? Vincent and Maria and your little boy all grown up?”

   He halts his movement, having opened the passenger door for you. He looks up at the sky as well. “I don’t know. And I don’t know if I wanna know.”

   He drives you home instead of back to the bar for your car. You’re too tired at this point to be driving and he knows it. So you hesitantly give him your address and, after about 25 minutes, you’re in front of your house. He puts the truck in park for a moment and turns to face you.

   “May I ask somethin’ risky?” You nod in response. “You think... with everything we have in common... it might be right for me to ask you on a proper date? I can’t think for a second what Maria or Vincent wanted... but I would like to imagine that they would want us to try and move on, find a similar sorta love we had for ‘em...”

   You know Vincent would want you to move on. With his sicknesses, you always talked about it and he always told you the same thing. That he would want you to move on, to not hold back when an opportunity presents itself. And Jack, you know now, is a nice man no matter how much he says he’s not. He’s good and protective and handsome and funny and almost everything you would want in a man.

   You would be happy with Jack. And Vincent would be proud of you. And one could argue you already had your first date just then.

   “You could argue that what we just went to was our first date. You did pay for the whole tab when I told you not to.” You tease to him. He relaxes and lets out a small breathy laugh. Then, you scoot a little bit closer, placing your hand behind his neck. “But we’re missing one thing that we didn’t do on our first date.”

   “And what pray tell was it that we missed?” He asks.

   “This.”

   Then, with all of the courage you can muster, you kiss him. It was only meant to be short, but he places his hands on the sides of your face and reciprocates and it grows longer and breathier. His lips taste like a perfect combination of sweet and sour, and mold against you almost perfectly. His hands and his neck and everything is warm and, when you finally pull apart, he brushes strands of your hair away from your face.

   “You seem to surprise me every day I see you.” Jack whispers.

   “Funnily enough, I’m never usually this confident.”

   “Can I kiss you once more?”

   “Yes please.”

---------------

A/N: #3 of reawakening the writer in me. Now, a soulmate AU with Agent Whiskey of the Statesman. I set this after The Golden Circle because I was sad he died so, instead, I imagine hes sorta being rehabilitated by the Statesman and on a probationary period (of course, because he tried to let all of the drug users die).

As always, some constrictive criticism would be great. I tried to show his southern accent in the dialogue but I don’t know if I did very well.

Anyway, enjoy the rest of your Columbus day, y’all!

[purplexflamingo]

Creature of the night- Chapter one

I don’t know if I am going to write out a big thing for this, but it was something I felt inspired to write out. Though I have not really written out a thing in along time. This is just some AU. I really like vampires. They are a fun concept.

 " Sir, if I could have a moment of your time." Toni rushed after her boss before he could finish locking up for the night. Swallowing her pride she hoped her efforts would help. Never being one to ask for hand outs at all, she was rather hard working. Once her boss halted in his tracks, he glanced back at the female. Almost as if he were annoyed just a tad, it had been a long day for them both. Taking it now as her opportunity- now or never. " You know I've been working here for two years now and I was wondering, is there anyway I could get a raise? I..I really could us it." Trailing off on her words as she noticed his expression, it was disheartening.

  She bit her bottom lip and felt her stomach sink. Sensing the mistake she possibly made" It does not work that way sweetheart, sorry." Without batting an eye he shut her off without explanations. Causing her to use the small ounce of confidence to beg a little. Even though using her family felt disgusting to her. " B-but sir, my brother has been sick and we've been really struggling to make rent. He's missed so much work we--" It was no use, his demeanor gave off enough to make her feel sick to her stomach. " I am sorry, that is all I can say. Now good night Toni." Huffing she pressed forward, using her shoulder to push open the front door. So pissed off she didn't realize how quickly she marched off and how forceful she was with the door. Caring less if he were to claim she was giving him attitude.

 Stepping outside the night breeze caressed her face and right then she felt her eyes swell. The building of stress began to wear her down, the constant begging of extra shifts from coworkers due to the lack of gigs. Not having a temporarily drummer to fill in for her brother made it impossible to even perform. Causing the Vexes to be on hold and lack of income taking a large toll. Tired of living on the awful side of town with numerous stories of break ins and much worse. Walking home was a bit dangerous. Due to the fact she did not have a car and couldn't drive she walked to and from work. It was a small distance after all. But for her own safety she carried a pocket knife. Mostly because her brother Anthony insists.

 Flinching when the street light burnt out. Placing a hand over her chest till her breathing died down, dread consumed her already. Mentally telling herself to just go, just walk, do not look back. Do not stop. Taking a deep breath, she already knew something felt off. 

Exhaling she began her walk home, listening to her surroundings. Unfortunately her heels clicked rather loudly against the cement, making her regret wearing them. Hues wandering and mostly searching for shadows that have been thrown off by the constant flicking of street lamps. Passing by several closed businesses, that closed earlier than the bar. It made her feel more at risk with all these dark buildings. If she had to guess it was possibly late after midnight now. Hence why the streets were dead silent. Most people have gone home, but sometimes she'd see drunks stumbling about. Strange how none were in sight, though she was ever so grateful not having to deal with them. Drunks were intimidating and their eyes, they were hard to read. She dealt with numerous angry ones at her job and it always left her feeling shaken up. It was always unpleasant.

   Lost in her thoughts she began to think and plan tomorrow. Counting her pay checks already and assuming how much she'd need left to reach her goal. Part of her was hoping to convince Marnie to pay a little more for rent, bracing herself for a possible fight over it. There was no way Anthony could pay all of his share. Marnie was hard to deal with in situations as such. Though now was not the time to lose her or else the band would crumble.

 Out of the corner of her eye a shadowy figure slid out of an alley way, making her nervous causing her to pick up her speed a bit. Which could be a mistake. Recalling how in this area that she had to pass through a few 'accident’ locations of mysterious deaths that had happened. She did not want to be prey. " Wait--!"  The voice called out after her, but she continued on not bothering to look back. But a flash flew by her stunning her, stumbling back on her heels, nearly falling back. Her eyes met with a glowing red pair, the color in her face began to drain. A monster? " Leave me alone..!" In a panic she barked at the other out of fear. " Toni- Toni it's me...!" Squinting through the darkness she could slowly make out the features and was in absolute disbelief. " P-paul? your eyes, are you ok?" Part of her also wanted to express how she felt about being startled like that. 

 It was mostly her fault as she failed to tune in with the world, she had a power that granted her the ability to hear ten times more than a mortal human. " I'll explain later, but I need to get you outta here!" His hand was cold to the touch, causing her to shiver as if the heat fled her body. Stumbling after him, she followed his lead, something pulling her in making her obey. As she tried to keep up with his speed she felt her calves tighten and strain. The after effects of being on your feel all day. Causing her to be thrown off and miss stepping. With a painful yelp, she sprang her ankle tumbling onto the ground. Losing her grip with Paul's hand in the process. It was hard to focus on anything else, the pain hurt so bad and her head pounded from the stress- and how tired she felt. 

  The hissing behind set her on alert and she realized the presenting danger now. A purple light shot over head, it was the black star beam. Knocking, whatever she heard, down. " We have to hurry..!" Returning to her Paul began to lift her into his arms with ease. Though he felt tense, it was strange. It was as if the contact sickened him or so she was picking up. Little did she know it was straining him and testing his resistance. He was able to disguise his feelings.

 Before she knew it they stood outside her building. The creature she heard was no where in sight, she was thankful she didn’t even glance back to look at it. As long as it was no where near her home everything would be alright. Eyes scanning the windows, searching for hers, seeing the lights were still off. Anthony must have gone to bed, she thought. Ascending the stairs Paul remained cautious, he seemed on edge. With the fact they were being stalked anyone would feel this way. Toni was just all around in shock, she had a hard time processing the current events. Other than picking up on his auras. A mixture of fear and confusion- protection and defense. 

 " Do you have your key?" He softly asked as he stood at her apartment door. " Oh I do, I think...I hope I did not drop it." Fishing around in her jacket pocket she pulled out a key ring. Containing four different keys. Calmly he took them from her and picked the one she instructed him to. Unlocking the door he seemed hesitant. " You can come in you know, Anthony doesn't mind you visiting besides he might be asleep. And Marnie is gone." Hearing her he then proceeded to enter. The front door leading into the living room/kitchen area. Setting her on the love seat, crouching down to proceed to remove her heels. " How is your ankle?" For a moment she forgot about the accident and she shook her head. " It's numb now, the blood must have rushed to it." This prompted silence from him, it was weird, he seemed so off.  Was it something she said? " Be straight with me, what is wrong? Don't sugar coat it, darling..." 

 Eyes attempting to meet with his, though he refused contact. " If you must know..I had a run in with some blokes. I thought they were tryin' to rob me after the show, but little did I know they weren't some mortals. They were a bunch of vampires. And well....one of them bite me. I got away before they could do worse..." Furrowing her brows she was really thrown off, vampires, they were fiction and Hollywood made up. Stories her brother would read or watch. They were real? Earth was a strange planet full of questionable creatures. " You're a vampire?"

 " ‘Fraid so...and I don't know what to do about it. I was gonna do some research and ask the guys for some help, but then I knew you were their next target. You were in their path, they either destroy everything they touch or turn them." Paul kept his distance especially with how he noticed Toni was responding. Needless to say he did not  want to risk anything. “ How did you know?” Parting her lips she curiously asked and he pointed to the star painted on his eye. It then connected with her. Not allowing her to say anything else he piped up. " Well shall we bandage up?" Rising to his feet he was more than willing to aid her. Heading towards her bathroom, he was familiar with her home. " Oh, wait, Paul please be quiet....Anthony is most likely sleeping, he is still sick." A part of her felt sick to her stomach remembering her rejection and her worry for him, it's been nearly a week with no signs of improvement. Negative thoughts followed as she imagined the worst in his situation. Because of how strong she felt she began to weep. She wanted to go check on him, but there was no way she could do it without causing herself more pain. Sniffling she wiped her eyes with her fingers, as her make up began to bleed. 

  Once he returned she forced herself to hide her emotions, for various reasons. He prepared the wrap inching close to her ankle, noticing how she flinched a little, he shifted his gaze towards her. " I promise I won't hurt you. I am not a monster." Those words alone were enough to get her to relax a little as he finished. " Oh I grabbed this ice pack to, it should help with swelling." Toni couldn't help, but stare in awe. Despite his transitioning he was the same old Paul. He behaved nothing like the creatures she heard of. " Thank you, really I.....Paul can you stay the night? I don't want you going back out there if they are roaming. What if they try to kill you?" Claiming the spot beside he, he didn't speak, it was as if he was looking for the right words. " Well, just for tonight. Because I have to get back with the guys...see if they can help me find a cure or something. I can't live like this." He did have a point, but Toni felt better in the agreement. “ I’ll call Angel in the morning and see if she can mend my ankle before work.” As the mood shifted Toni frantically tried to find something.

" Want to watch a movie?" To lighten the mood she suggested and Paul was delighted. Deeming it was safe to change the subject as he knew exactly what she was hiding from him, he accidentally gained access to her overwhelming thoughts. Normally resisting that, but he has a slip up every now and then. For a moment his eyes were on Anthony’s door before he glanced back at her. Wanting to help, but there was a limit to what he could do currently and he did not want to intrude too much. Unsure how she’d be if he offered any form of help. Paul did not want to watch them sink, it was upsetting and to see their flames burn out. Giving the benefit of doubt to Toni as she felt feeling hard than anyone else. Though when the positive happens she is a breath of fresh air and energy. Who chooses to suffer in silence.

 An hour passes and Toni mindlessly inched her self over to Paul as an attempt to cozy up. But coming in contact with his skin reminded her, muttering. "  You're so cold." Adjusting herself to share some of her blankets with him as if that’d help his case. " It's apart of the whole undead thing, babe. I can’t do anything about it." Admittedly after awhile the cold did not bother her especially as she was lost in the moment. Periodically glancing at him during the film and he of course noticed. Chuckling in response " What?". “ Nothing...I just want to look at you.” Lifting herself up, moving closer, she placed a kiss on his lips. Accepting it Paul watched her closely as he could pick up on her heart beat, so loudly, and scent of the living. Able to pin point the strongest tempting veings. Coiling her arms around his neck she gave him an embrace. Again he felt stiff and resistant, but he did not push her away. All that went through his mind were confliction and urges. Some part of darkness nagged at him to steal a bite, but his will power fought against it. He was not a blood sucker. Despite feeling his fangs grow an inch. Sooner than expect she fell asleep and he was able to detach her gently so, putting the blanket around her. Left sitting there for most of the night until he was able to rest. 

The sound burning and smell of smoke woke Toni instantly in a panic. “ Oh god!” Paul’s hand was beginning to caught flame and it startled him awake too. “ CLOSE THE CURTAINS!” A burst of energy coursed through her as she tried to get up. Anthony opened his door in confusion at the chaos. Toni remembered her injury and struggled to climb to her feet. “ An-anthony! Anthony please- close the curtains!” Gesturing towards the large windows he did as asked without a second thought. Using a pillow she put out the flame. “ The sunlight-- we should’ve covered the windows last night.” Panting she felt awful and took his hand into her own. Examining it along with Paul. “ I hope it doesn’t scar.”

“ What the fuck is going on?” Anthony interrupted. 

[jamesashtonisbae]

Why Not Both Pt. 7

Word Count: 2740

Pairing: Bryce x MC (Bentley Rogers) and Rafael x MC (Bentley Rogers)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Language, sexual content - like not safe, lemon content

Summary: Bentley cannot decide between Bryce and Rafael.  Will she have to?

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, they belong to Pixelberry studios.

Link to Masterlist

Part 7

Bentley and Bryce stumbled through the door to her apartment.  They hadn’t taken their hands off each other the whole way back.  When they pushed through the doorway completely, they ran right into Danny and Sienna, who were wrapped in each other’s arms.

Both couples jumped apart, glancing at the other pair, embarrassed at first.  Well, except for Bryce, who was never embarrassed.  Sienna’s shirt was pushed up and her midriff was bare.  Danny’s belt was unbuckled, and his pants were unbuttoned.  Bentley quickly became unembarrassed, and instead became excited for her friend.

“Oh hey, we were just coming here to change our clothes and go out to get drinks.  You two, please carry on.”

“Danny, let’s just, go to my room,” Sienna said, not making eye contact with Bentley or Bryce.

“No, no,” Bentley said, taking Bryce’s arm, “you deserve to make out in the living room.  God knows we’ve done it plenty of times.”

Bryce grinned and pressed an open-mouthed kiss to Bentley’s lips, “Yeah, you two have had to put up with us far too many times.”

Bentley’s mind flashed to Rafael and her doing the exact same thing recently as well.  Dating two guys was weighing on her, and she hoped Sienna and Danny wouldn’t mention it.  Not that Bryce would care.

Bryce took her hand and tugged her down the hall gently, “What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

“Just still worrying about this whole ‘dating two guys’ thing.  I don’t know what to do to make myself stop worrying about it.  Like in that moment just now, all I could think about was the fact that the most recent guy Danny and Sienna have watched me make out with in the entryway wasn’t you.  It seems like we talk about this every time we’re together, but I’m struggling with this, so hard.  I love you, and I love him.  And this is going to sound weird, but you’re also like my best friend, so I kind of want to talk to you about how much I love him?  I want to share all of that with you, because I just want to share everything with you…”

Bryce took her hands and guided her to her bed, the pair jumping when they heard Sienna’s door slam closed.  They broke out of their serious moment and laughed together softly for a couple of seconds.  She leaned onto his chest and gazed up into his eyes.

“Bentley, you know I love you.  I want to hear about everything in your life, and that includes Rafael.  It’s not awkward for me, Bentley.  I know this will sound cocky, but I am not threatened by Rafael, because I’m confident in what I have with you.  All I’m worried about is the possibility of wanting to spend the night with you when you’re spending it with him.  And I’m worried about you getting burnt out trying to date two people.”

“Why are you always worried about me when it comes to this? You’re so selfless.  You’re far more than what I deserve.”

“Bentley, what’s it gonna take for you to believe that you deserve everything this world has to offer and more?” Bryce slipped an arm around her waist, gently pulling her in a little closer.  “I want to give you everything I have.”

Bentley leaned her head up and pressed her lips to his softly.  The kiss started tender and loving, but when Bryce laid down and tugged her on top of him, they started kissing with more and more intensity - on their way towards not making their plans to get drinks.  Her hips started moving against his involuntarily, his rising to meet hers--

“Ohhhhhhhhh, Danny…” Sienna moaned from next door.  Bentley pulled away from Bryce, her eyebrows jumping with his as they heard Sienna’s bed frame begin knocking against their wall.  She stifled a giggle as she buried her head into Bryce’s neck before letting her laughter out.  Bryce joined her laughing, quietly, before burying his face in her auburn curls and giggling too.

After a few moments of awkwardly listening to Sienna and Danny, Bentley turned to look at Bryce, “I should pack an overnight bag so we can go.”

Bryce reluctantly released her and she got up to change out of her scrubs and into a black dress and her favorite jean jacket.  She could feel Bryce’s eyes on her as she grabbed a clean pair of scrubs and some undergarments to wear the next day.  

“Bryce…” she called as she started towards the bathroom to grab her toiletries.  “Will you pick out a nightgown for me to wear tonight? Top drawer.  And if you want to push some stuff to the side, you can use it too.”

“A nightgown?” she could hear him scramble off her bed and throw open the drawer from down the hall.  She could also hear Sienna and Danny and thanked the heavens that they were finally together.  Sienna and Danny were her favorite couple on the planet.  They were so cute together, and every day she could tell that they were becoming inseparable. 

Bentley tossed her things into a small bag she could fit inside her overnight bag, then rounded the corner to her room at light speed, meeting Bryce’s wide grin as she entered.

“Hey!  You look happy…” she said a bit hesitantly.

“This is my favorite drawer, Bentley.  I tried to pick something that looked comfortable but I would love to revisit it at some point.”

“Oh no, what did you choose?”

“Just this pink satin one… do you think that’s okay?”

She laughed and took him in her arms, “Of course I do, I told you that you could pick what you wanted,” she reached around him to take the pink slip and fold it into her bag.

“I know you’ll look sexy in anything, but I’m assuming this will be for after we have sex and not before.”

“You’re right,” she said, kissing his cheek gently, then maneuvering around him.  “I need to change my underwear quick.”

She opened a drawer, simultaneously pulling off her panties and tossing them in her hamper.  Making a show of it, she pulled out a strappy garter belt and a matching thong, pulling them on and attaching them.  She felt Bryce reach out for her, but she spun away and grabbed her bag, “Okay we’re good.”

“You absolute tease…” he groaned as he followed her.

They hurried across town, dropped off her bag, and found themselves huddled in a booth in the back of some bar down the block from Bryce’s apartment.  Her legs were draped over his lap as she nursed a moscow mule Bryce had insisted she try.  He had ordered his usual, which had been nagging at Bentley a little bit.

“So… ‘the usual’? Do you come here a lot? I’ve never been here with you before…”

“Yeah, I used to,” he cleared his throat, looking away from her for a minute, “I used to bring girls here for drinks back when I first moved to Boston.”

“And, did you take them home with you too?”

He coughed again, “Sometimes.”

“I see,” she fiddled with her straw, but didn’t move out of his lap.  It didn’t bother her when she thought about how she was also seeing Rafael the whole past year, but if she hadn’t been, she would have been upset.  More of what was bugging her was the fact that she’d never really gone out on a date with Bryce, she had just gone about her life and slept with him whenever they had time.  

“What’s wrong, B?” he asked, taking her drink out of her hand and holding it in his.

“Nothing - you should have dated whoever you wanted.  I guess I just feel bad that you and I never really dated, we just kind of were around.  It was never anything really intentional.  And now I’m on a date with you and I’m complaining that we never went on a date.”

Bryce laughed, “Bentley, I intentionally spent every spare moment with you.  But I thought you had something with Dr. Ramsey, so I tried to date other girls so I would stop myself from falling too fast for you.  That’s why we didn’t date.  Because we didn’t need to.  I was just always around because even then, I knew I was hopelessly in love with you Bentley Rogers.”

Bentley kissed him softly, “You’re so damn soft for me, Bryce Lahela.”

He threw his head back in laughter before turning back to kiss her back, “What have you done to me, Rogers?”

She rested her forehead against his, gazing into his eyes, “This was my evil plan all along… get your defenses down… make you fall in love with me… spend the night at your place… and rob you blind.  It’s foolproof really.”

Bryce kissed her forehead softly, then whispered, “It’s all yours… take it all.”

They sipped their drinks a while longer, talking about their patients in common, some they didn’t have in common.  Bentley protested when Bryce tried to convince her she should be a surgeon, that way she wouldn’t have to babysit her intern Esme.  Bentley argued back that she was on the best diagnostics team in the country and babysitting an intern was worth the opportunity she had to work with Dr. Ramsey and Baz and June.

“But Bentley, you could work with Dr. Harper Emery, the premier neurosurgeon in the country!  I don’t understand why that isn’t enough of a draw to get you to switch.”

“I work with the premier diagnostician in the country, Bryce!” she exclaimed, setting her drink down and throwing her arms around his neck.  “The quality of professionals I work with matches, if not bests, the ones you work with!”

“Well, the best resident at Edenbrook is a surgeon.  You would get to work with him.”

“The best resident at Edenbrook is a junior diagnostician and you know it.”

Bryce’s grin was radiant, and Bentley knew why.  He had tried so hard to get her to believe in herself, and now she did.  It was all because of him and how much effort he put into building her up to be this confident.  She could always count on him to make her more confident.

“You’re damn right she is…” Bryce wrapped his arms around her back and tugged her up so she was straddling him in the booth.  Their mouths met in a heated kiss, and when he was sure she was anchored to him, Bryce moved his hands to her thighs, running them over her with that expert touch of his.  She groaned and he took the opportunity to meet her tongue with his.  His hands crept up her thighs until his thumbs rested lightly on her hot core.  In response to his touch she felt a gush of wetness between her legs and she pulled away.

“We gotta get out of here.  Now,” she commanded, grabbing a twenty out of her wallet and slapping it onto the table.  With equal intensity, she grabbed Bryce’s arm and pulled him out of the booth and back to his apartment.

They barely made it inside the door when Bryce tugged off her jacket and threw it into a corner somewhere.  With an unexpected reverence in the heat of the moment, he pulled off her dress as she tried kicking off her shoes.

“How are you so goddamn beautiful?” Bryce asked, sinking to his knees in front of her as she backed into his door.

“Just trying to keep up wi--” she cut herself off with a moan as she felt Bryce’s lips connect with her wet slit through her crotchless panties.  He hiked her leg up and over his shoulder, giving himself better access as he worked his tongue skillfully against her.  Their eyes met in the dark of his entryway and if she could think about anything other than his lips and teeth on her she would have wondered how he always managed to get her completely naked before he lost a single item of clothing.  Her breathing became labored as Bryce tugged at her lower lips, teasing her and getting her as wet as possible, his saliva and her own wetness mixing together, before he latched his mouth to her clit and sucked.  The door vibrated behind her as she slapped her hand against it when Bryce would not relent.  She arched her back, thrusting her hips towards his face, barely staying up with one very wobbly leg planted on the ground.  Bryce knew she was getting close, so he reached up with one hand to grip hers as he moved his other to hold her steady.  Her free hand snaked into his hair, gripping it firmly as he coaxed an orgasm from her.  She groaned loudly as Bryce kissed her lips over and over again until she was sufficiently down from her high.  In an instant, she was in his arms and he moved her to his couch.

He leaned over her, smattering kisses on her face as her breathing returned to normal.  With expert ability, she latched her leg around his and flipped him underneath her.

“Now it’s your turn to sit back and let me do my job…”

“Bentley, please, I just want to be inside you…” he groaned as she palmed him through his jeans.  In one deft move, she had unbuckled his belt, tugged it off, and pushed his jeans and boxers down.  She rose to pull off his shoes and his clothes, moving up and sliding off his sweater and the shirt he wore underneath it in one fluid motion.

Before Bryce had a chance to react, she had slung her legs over him and was grinding her still wet pussy against his very hard dick.  His eyes rolled back and he groaned at the feeling of her sliding over him.  With a tap on the chest, she drew his attention back to her and she rose slightly, taking him in one hand.  He didn’t look away when she guided him to her entrance, the warmth of her so close he could almost feel it.  She lowered herself slightly, encasing just the head inside her.  He let out a raw, guttural moan and she lowered herself all the way.

When he tried to sit up, she pushed him back gently, “Just watch.  And enjoy.”

With a wink, she tossed her head back, her auburn hair flying out behind her.  The white column of her neck was exposed, and Bryce licked his lips, hoping he would be able to lean up and place soft bites all over it, marking her as his, but he was under strict orders to lie there.  She bounced up and down on his dick, moving side to side on occasion, her breasts moving with her and drawing Bryce’s eyes down.  Once he broke out of his trance gazing at her as she rode him, he reached down and pressed two fingers to her clit.  He knew her so well, and he knew she would struggle to finish from penetration alone, no matter how good a job he did, and he wasn’t doing much of anything right now.  It was the least he could do as she gave him the ride of a lifetime.

Within seconds, they both approached their climaxes, and Bentley tugged him up so she could place her lips on his as they came together.  She held him close and kissed him desperately until he shoved her away to look into her eyes, “I love you, Bentley.”

“I love you too, Bryce,” she whispered, kissing him, then letting him lean in and rest his head on her breasts.  After a few moments, he started placing soft kisses on her bare chest, then began roaming up to where he was kissing her neck.  The kisses turned to gentle bites, and Bentley started getting wet again.  “Take me to your bed, Bryce.  Take me now.”

He lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist as they moved to his bed.  With great care, he set her down, then pressed his body against hers.  

It was a long time before they finally fell asleep, but with her head on his chest and their thirsts quenched, Bentley and Bryce slept like rocks their first night being fully in love.

[milk-luvr-dot-com]

“A New Assistant” - The Thick Of It - Chapter 3

Summary: Nicola juggles a grieving redhead and a moronic, neurotic press advisor. Ivy and Malcolm have a falling out.

Word Count (this chapter): 5108

Rating: Mature (For adult situations, language)

Warnings: No Ao3 Warnings, Explicit Language, homophobic language, fatphobic language, sexist language, ablest language, implied/referenced past abuse

Categories: F/M, Gen

Tags: Falling in love, crushes, comedy, slow burn, explicit language, original  female characters, AU - canon divergence, mutual pining, friendship, friends to lovers, angst, implied/referenced past abuse, additional tags to be added

Chapter 1, Chapter 2

Full chapter and Ao3 link under the cut.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24510592/chapters/59509222

Ivy and Malcolm walked down the halls of the hotel, briskly, and popping along the way to say hello to mindless news people and other members of the cabinet, who were all nervously preparing and memorizing speeches. Ivy wasn't sure why Malcolm had invited her. She was gonna be like a bump on a log the whole weekend, since she was still too new to fully deal with the press on her own. Maybe Malcolm saw it as a training opportunity. Maybe he just wanted to not deal with a bunch of bullshit this weekend. Maybe he just wanted to spend time with her.

The latter was what was actually true. Malcolm just wanted to spend time alone with Ivy. I mean, it wasn't weird to invite your assistant with you to the party conference, right? It wasn't weird to get a room with two twin beds. Right?

Well, actually. Touch of a problem with that. As sitcom as it is, when they opened the door to the room, there was only one bed. A queen size bed. It's as if the fucking people who booked the hotel were trying to tell them something. It was actually pretty likely, rather, because they both had recently pissed off one of the desk jockeys in the department. It wouldn't have been hard to make a quick last-minute change.

"You're actually fucking kidding me, right?" Malcolm said, massaging the bridge of his nose as they entered.

"I'll sleep on the couch."

"What? No. No, I'll just call and ask for a room change. Hang on." He set his small suitcase down and made his way over to the side of the bed with the phone. He sunk in immediately. The bed creaked dreadfully. He cringed.

She sat about 3/4 of the way down the bed on the opposite side of him.

"Hello, sorry, is it possible we could get a room change? You see it's just that-... Jesus Christ, you're kidding. FUCK!" He slammed the phone down, rubbing his face. She whipped her head around. "Hm?"

"They're completely booked. No other rooms."

"Looks like I'm sleeping on the couch, then." She shrugged, looking back and staring at the painting hanging on the wall above the dresser. It had blues coinciding with a dash of yellow, a close-up of a field of forget-me-not flowers. "Pretty painting."

Malcolm was lost in thought, staring at the neutral carpet grain that hadn't been changed since the 70s. "Huh?"

"That painting. It's pretty. I don't know the name of those flowers. And trust me, I've seen a lot of flowers, I used to work in the funeral industry."

He turned, shifting further down the bed. "They look familiar." Ivy looked over at him, confused. "My mother used to garden. I'd help her occasionally."

She smiled, in a snarky manner. "Malcolm Tucker's a poof."

"Shut up. Right," he clapped, rising. "We've got to get a wiggle on, we've got reporters to jack off."

She stood up as well, following him. "A wiggle on?"

"You know what I mean. Come on, come on, come on."

  They met up with some press people, among other friendly faces. It was still fairly early. T minus 2 hours until Nicola inevitably embarrasses herself.

"I mean, these are the worst pictures I've seen, really, they are. I don't know who was taking them." He pointed to one of his mates' ID badge photos. The bloke picked it up, looking at it briefly. "They've got Roy fucking Orbison doing that."

"I've heard he wasn't even blind." Ivy added, elbowing him. She was purposefully trying to embarrass him, as a joke. 

"Malcolm?" The woman who's badge read Angela Heaney inquired.

"Yeah?"

"Have you seen Rob Holt's blog today?"

"Oh, yeah, of course, I read Rob Holt's blog. I read all the blogs. 'Cause basically I'm an underemployed fat fucking loser. Got nothing better to do with my time than sit in my bedroom like a fat space-hopper in a tracksuit, reading inconsequential, unspellchecked shit, fabricated by other fat, farting, fucking losers."

Ivy pressed her lips together, going wide eyed briefly to show her annoyance, albeit agreement. Angela began to explain, "Well, he's saying that the big health numbers in the PM's speech, they're from a false sample. Apparently, they're lifted from Andrew Dover's blog, not ONS."

Malcolm shot a look at Ivy, who immediately pretended to take a call, and walk off. "I wouldn't take any notice of it. There's nothing in that at all." He said.

"Nothing?"

"Nope, nothing. Catch you laters, alright?" He walked away, joining Ivy, who looked at him as soon as she said, "Whoever fucking leaked it is going to be leaking drool for the next six months after I've beat them into a shell of a human with a golf club. Fix it, or you'll hear worse from Malcolm. Right. Bye."

"Jesus. You're really hurling the colorful insults now."

She brushed past him, and began walking to their next destination. He followed. "Well, I learned from the best."

“Okay. So,” He clapped, “I need to phone the PM and tell him.”

“Uh, we could go up to the halls. No one’s up there.”

“Yes, right,” he pointed at her, “good. Get away from all these leeching journalists.” 

They took the lift up a couple levels. Ivy didn’t expect him to stay near the lifts. No, Malcolm liked pacing. She wasn’t sure if it was a nervous habit of his (because she wasn’t sure if Malcolm was ever nervous,) or if walking around just made him feel important. Either scenario was realistic.

They lurked around the halls. Ivy was pretty sure their room was nearby. Maybe she’d pressed the same button as before by muscle memory. She could hear background chatter from various rooms of important people cheersing and toasting for important causes. But it was mostly drowned out by Malcolm’s stern voice. Being honest with herself, Malcolm was more important than anyone in those rooms.

She expected to get ambushed at least once by some eavesdropping journalist, like Nicola did. Oh, who was she kidding, Malcolm wouldn’t let that happen. He’s got a stick far too up his arse for that. He was like a light sleeping soldier in a warzone with that sort of thing.

What they did get ambushed by, instead was the crack-addicted Timothee Chalamet (Or Olly, if you prefer,) and a ginger woman.

“Oh, hey, Malcolm, Ivy. How’s it hanging?”

“Like the Gardens of Babylon. Do you know where Lord Clarkham’s room is? I’m gonna go and try and stick his balls in his fucking trouser press.”

Ivy looked Olly up and down, then smirked sarcastically, “I see you’ve pulled.” She winked.

“Uh- look this is Julie Price. She is the people’s champion that Nicola is announcing in her speech.”

“Julie Price?” They both stopped in their tracks and turned, shaking hands gently with her.

“I’m so sorry for your loss.”

Ivy cocked her head sympathetically. “It was a massive tragedy, bless you. Are you being looked after? Olly treating you well?”

“Oh- oh not bad, yeah.”

“You stick with Olly. He’s a good guy. I know he looks a bit like an anorexic Leo Sayer, there, but… Hey, could I have a picture taken with you?” He pulled out his phone, handing it to Ivy. “I’ve got a little collection of memories, you know. Mandela and stuff. Ivy, could you do the honors?”

“Mhm! Of course.” She stepped back. “Smile!” She said.

Julie flirtatiously hit Malcolm, calling him a stunner or something along those lines. Ivy took it as an opportunity to mischievously scowl at Olly. “You really are impressive. Hey, do you know who else is impressed by you? The PM.” He mentioned, grinning.

“He has a nice part in his speech where he’d be honored to introduce you and have you on. If, you’re up to that, that is.” She clasped her hands in front of her.

“B-But that might clash, a bit. Uh, you know because Nicola’s having her on.” Olly said, looking pathetic.

Julie excused herself to the restrooms. Olly clenched his fists, desperately trying to convince Malcolm otherwise. “Y-You can’t do that!”

“You gonna stamp your foot and slam the door to your bedroom next, little Timmy?” Ivy mocked.

“Boo-hoo, Olly. Can do, have done.”

“You want us to think of a whole entire new speech in 2 hours? 2 hours?”

“We don’t want you to do anything, but if you’d like to keep your reputation and probably your jobs, you will.”

“But that’s not fair!” He made a concerned face.

“Suck it up, fuckface. If she goes on with Nicola, she’ll be watched by 15 house-bound mouthbreathers. And the swelling ranks of the unemployed, who hate us, by the way. If she goes on with Tom, it’ll make 10:00 o’ clock news.”

“It’s for the greater good.”

“Yes, the greater good, thank you, Ivy.”

“Julie, hello. Feeling better?” Ivy smiled gently, yet falsely. “So, what’ll it be, Julie? Would you like to stick with Olly here, or do you want to run with Tom, or sorry-” She laughed, as if to seem sweet. “The PM, for your speech?”

“Uh.. I’m going with the big boys.”

“Great! Good, yes, the big boys.” Malcolm said.

“Oh, sorry Olly. It was lovely meeting you.”

“Right this way, we’ll introduce you to the PM.” They walked off, leaving Olly a pathetic begging loser. They walked down the hall, standing either side of Julie like bodyguards for organized crime. Malcolm began making light conversation.

“Are you in the hotel?”

“Oh yes.”

“Oh, lovely.”

“Well,” she chuckled, “I wouldn’t call it lovely.”

They laughed along. “Oh, John!” Ivy called the bearded bloke from earlier over, who looked like he was in a rush. But he was always that way, she guessed.

“This is John, the press organizer.”

“Yes, we’ve met before.”

“Oh, have you, lovely! Are you a texter?” At some point, Julie began fiddling with her phone, and appeared to be texting someone. Malcolm shot a look to Ivy, then glanced briefly at John. She nodded.

“I’ll be with you in a minute.”

“Excuse us for just a tick.” Ivy pinched the sleeve of John’s suit jacket, dragging him down the hall a bit. “Look, okay. I need you to just casually mention to Alan Dunn and…  I guess Lindsay Anorexi at The Mail, that the PM has commandeered Julie Price for his speech. Okay?”

She turned, but was cut off. “B-But that’s not strictly true, is it?”

“Yeah, and strictly come dancing isn’t strictly dancing, there’s also a bit at the beginning where an old man dribbles. So what?” She got in his face. She was going for intimidation, but it was clear John was uncomfortably turned on. So she guessed she’d settle for dominatrix.

“I-I don’t know what that means, but-”

 Just then, Glenn came hobbling down the hall like a washed-old Bradley Walsh look-alike in a Sainsbury’s cracker aisle. Ivy didn’t notice, but Malcolm sure did.

Glenn brushed past Ivy. “Oh, Glenn, I can see you’re a tad peeved.” He got in Malcolm’s face.

“I’m not having it, you’ve gone too far!”

“Get a grip, Glenn. I didn’t fucking cum in your fucking mouth.”

John began laughing, which caused Glenn to turn attention to both Ivy and him. “Are you in on this?”

“Nope, just following orders. Like a nazi guard.” He did the anti-semetic salute. “You’re not Jewish, are you?”

“...No?”

“Oh, good.”

“Ivy, can you take her?” She nodded. “Julie, if you could just step in there for a moment and have a chat with some lovely people. Have some tea and biscuits. We’ve got to deal with a um… internal issue. You do understand, don’t you? Good, go on.” She didn’t wait for a response, she just shoved her gently into the room.

“You,” Malcolm pointed at John, “fucking Henry the 8th’s lobotomized cousin, piss off and back to your sad job.”

John, did not in fact, piss off. The dank cream colored hallway slowly grew more lively with increasingly angry chatter paired nicely with erupting laughter from important people in important rooms. Like a fucking wine and cheese pairing. Malcolm and Glenn were bickering about Julie, which had an intermission with one of Malcolm’s famous quips, “Oh, shit, wow here’s the beige fucking power ranger now!”

Glenn continued, pushing harder each time. “We’re taking her back!”

Olly, John, and  Ivy began trying to diffuse the situation. She swore to herself this was the last time they were going to agree on anything. 

“Can we get a bit more sane about this?”

“Malcolm, calm down, please. Glenn, just fuck off and help glummy mummy write her new speech. Let it go!”

“Let’s not argue here!”

Glenn continued insisting, getting redder and redder with rage. Malcolm grew more and more annoyed. Ivy’s eyes widened, knowing this was going to get ugly quickly (well, actually, the ugliness had already peaked when both Olly and Glenn showed up at the same time.)

Then suddenly, it fucking happened. Ivy shut her eyes, cringing. John covered his mouth. Glenn went down, landing over Olly.

“Malcolm!” Ivy half-shouted, putting herself between Glenn and him in case it continued, her hands on his chest. He seemed to be over it, shaking out his fist in pain. 

“You hit me!” He whimpered out, kneeling on the floor.

“No! I did not hit you! You hurt yourself!” Malcolm lied, artfully. She lowered her arms, knowing the worst was over for now. “Respectfully, what the fuck sir!” She hurriedly whispered.

Glenn whined that he thought his nose was broken. “Noses can’t break, it's a myth.”

“What the fuck are you on about?”

Ivy went to go help, “lean forward, c’mon, mate. I used to be a barmaid, don’t worry, this isn’t the first suckerpunch to the nose I’ve dealt with. Does anyone have a towel? Good, good, yeah. Here you go.” She let him dab the wounded area. She sucked through her teeth, “It doesn’t look good.”

Malcolm told Olly to get him back to this room. Julie was dealt with by John, not very well, but still fine enough. “No one saw that?” He asked Ivy, who was the only other person who remained, and thankfully it was just her. Anyone else would likely have received another of the same if they happened to cross Malcolm. “No, no one. Fuck, Malcolm!”

He hurried off in the direction of their room. He opened the door, letting her in before slamming it back again. “Jesus fucking tapdancing Christ, Malcolm, you broke a man’s nose!”

“Oh, he’s fine.”

“It is so not fucking fine!” She stood there, shocked, choking on words coming out of her mouth. He sat down in the chair that faced the door, looking at her stoically. “Do you know what fucking makes this worse? Hm? This didn’t fucking help anything. Glenn and Olly and Nicola are all still going to be seething with rage at us for taking their fucking star player!”

“So what?”

“So fucking what? You’re actually kidding me. You’re so fucking caught up in the moment, so fucking primal like a tiger looking for it’s next meal. You don’t even fucking think of the future.” Ivy’s voice began breaking, on the verge of tears. “Do you know what all that career hopping taught me? It taught me I was fucking wrong. I was fucking wrong so many, many times. I was so fucking wrong to waste money on schools that got me no more happiness, I was so wrong to waste my remaining teenage years bunging around the cinemas with my friends instead of being at my bedridden mother’s side. And right now, I’m thinking I’m wrong in getting involved with you.”

He slapped the arms of the chair, getting up so fast. “THEN FUCKING LEAVE, IVY! I NEVER ASKED FOR YOU! I NEVER ASKED TO BE AROUND YOU 8 HOURS OF MY FUCKING DAY!” He stood over her. She backed off quickly into the skinny entryway of the room, touching the wall almost. Her eyes widened, out of fear. Making eye contact with him, she let tears begin dripping down her face. She covered her mouth, muffling whimpers of things like “please don’t hit me.”

Malcolm bit his lip, backing up, and pressing his back against the other wise of the entryway. He could have sworn his eyes felt wet with salty droplets, which refused to fall. “I’m sorry.” He whispered.

“What?”

“I’m so fucking sorry, Ivy.”

She stayed quiet for another minute, wiping away her tears, and sniffling. Strangely, she began chuckling. “I’m not the one you should be apologizing to, you stupid old man.”

He furrowed his brow, confused. "I'm gonna go apologize to Glenn for you."

"You don't have to." He covered his mouth, looking down, ashamed.

"I know." She said as she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a one-sided hug that didn't last more than a few seconds. He blushed, looking down at her, frozen. "Right, I'll be back later."

  "Jesus, Ivy!" Nicola shouted when she entered the room almost silently.

She didn't react. "You alright, Glenn?"

"I don't want to speak to you Ivy, sorry. Nor Malcolm."

"I think you should leave."

Ivy ignored her, turning to the bathroom door. "I've come to apologize, Glenn. On behalf of myself and Malcolm."

"Oh, what, 'cause Malcolm couldn't do it himself? Had to get his winged monkey to go out here and do it? Fly my pretties, fly!" Olly tacked on to the conversation, helping nothing.

She shot a look at Olly, before turning around and putting her hand on the door frame. "I'm really sorry, mate. Sorry he did that in the heat of the moment, you know? And I'm sorry I didn't stop it, it was really quite stupid and shortsighted of me. We're under a lot of pressure, right now, you know. It's a fucking war zone. We're soldiers, you gotta expect there's just a bit of friendly fire."

"Yeah."

"Good. Good. I would uh, hug you but I don't want to get any blood on my blouse. Shake on it?" She stuck out her hand, and he took it. The half-dried red liquid between their hands squelched disgustingly. She cringed.

Malcolm entered the hotel room, "How's the patient?"

"I'm fine, Malcolm. Just sore." He called out from the bathroom. Ivy ran her hand under water and dried it off with one of the fancy paper towels. "I've already apologized, sir."

Malcolm nodded, clapping and turning to Nicola and Olly. "Alright, so you've lost Julie. You've got a cavity the size of a prisoner's arsehole in your speech. Got a back-up plan?"

"We'll figure it out, thank you."

"Why don't we help you, hm? I mean, it is the least we could do." Ivy piped up.

"Yes, yes, yes, roll some tits up the flagpole and see if anyone gets wood."

"Christ. Okay, well, all we've got is Mannion's second holiday."

Ivy sat down on the couch behind Nicola's chair. Malcolm joined her. The couch was tiny, as was everything else in the room, so they were pretty close quarters. They didn't mind, but Malcolm didn't stay for long. Again, he liked to pace, and pace he did, like a caged tiger. Glenn joined the group, sitting in the remaining single seat. "He works really hard at planning his holidays." Glenn said.

"Fucking A+ quality sarcasm there that you're lobbing at 'em. Boom."

"I feel like I'm in a therapy group being run by my own rapist."

Everyone's cell phones chimed, all in sync. "Oh, shit." One of them said. "It's got out!" Another added. Olly sarcastically said, "No, I thought it was room service cold-calling."

"Who the fuck leaked it? No one saw it, right?" Ivy looked at Malcolm. He was preoccupied checking around the internet. "Fuck! It's on Rob Holt's blog! Okay, we need to get your people's champion out of this hotel, before some tabloid minge-flannel starts soft-soaping her."

"So we've got her back again?" Nicola asked.

"Jesus, don't be so sensitive about this!" Malcolm yelled.

"My fucking responsibility! Fuck the speech!" Nicola yelled also, slamming the door to the bathroom.

"Women! Women, huh? Slamming the fucking door. Where did this idea come from? Wilma! Fuck off." He spat.

She called out to him, "I'm making a phone call."

"Make a phone call, phone a fucking friend." He collapsed next to Ivy again into the couch.

"Women," Ivy mocked in a nasty tone. "Okay, Fred Flintstone."

"Shut up." He smiled, looking at her softly. She giggled.

"God, get a room you two." Olly said, without looking up, continuing to type.

"We have a room, sod off and write your mummy's speech." She squinted at him, crossly

"Ivy, we should go back and get ready for the stupid banquet thing." He touched her shoulder, which caught her off guard. Normally she instigated physical contact. "Right you are, yeah."

  They joined some reporters to have wine and break bread in fancy dress. Malcolm dawned a bow tie, which Ivy made mental note of to make fun of later. Glenn had joined them, feeling a bit better, and no longer bleeding.

"Have a bit more, Glenn, go on." Malcolm poured him a bit more. "Watch your step, though, don't go tripping up again."

"Absolutely." They laughed along.

Angela, same reporter as earlier, piped up. "D-Day. What is it, Malcolm? I thought you were one of the boxers, not the emcee."

"No, I've just got to rear my ugly head, as you would have it, at a few receptions this evening. Including the Rod Hughes do for Tom. Believe me, I'd rather slip into something more comfortable. Like a coma." Again, they laughed along.

The same woman continued, "Malcolm, you've started beating up your own guys. That has to be a bad sign."

"Oh, he didn't hit Glenn," Ivy swiped with her hand, smiling, defending him. "No, I didn't. Why would I do that? And there's no proof that I did."

"Yeah, whatever you say, Malcolm," she chuckled.

"Watch," He threw a fake punch "he doesn't flinch."

"Malcolm wouldn't hurt a fly, and trust me, I'd know, because I've had to roll up Sunday's paper and whap a few in his office for him." Ivy said, grinning.

"We're pals, I mean," He went to go stand next to him, "Look at the size of this guy, I wouldn't hit him. Look, he's a fucking man-mountain!"

"Are you calling me fat?" Glenn jokingly attacked back.

"Heh, that's the banter."

They continued for a few more moments. The conversation was slowing, like a dying fireplace on Christmas eve. Malcolm gave Ivy a look, which said "we've got to get going," and they excused themselves. Once they rounded the corner into the halls once again, they saw John, the fucking idiot, from earlier. They stopped, and Malcolm shoved him into a room. Ivy was a bit concerned, considering that she didn't know who's room that was. She figured she might follow them, eavesdropping on their conversation. Maybe she'd pick up a few classic Tucker scare tactics.

She heard something about tweezers from the twat, something about bullocks, and then finally, she heard Malcolm answer his phone, announcing that Julie was the leak. Something about Twitter.

Malcolm opened the door quickly after that, which startled Ivy half to death. "Were you listening in?"

"Of course I was, I wasn't just going to sit outside the door waiting for you like some primary schooler waiting for her mummy, all arms crossed and lunch box in hand."

He raised an eyebrow, smiling slightly, "...So, anyway, Julie's the leaker."

"I know."

"Well how'd you know, I only found out a minute ago?!" They left the room, almost running into a maid on their way out. He looked at her. "Oh, listening in, right. Sorry, I forgot."

"You're as daft as a goat sometimes, you know, Malcolm?" She teased.

"Shush."

Malcolm and Ivy went to Glenn's room, where the 3 fuckheads of DoSAC were increasingly panicking, trying to finish Nicola's speech while she memorized it.

"Squeeze my cock and call me Nancy," Malcolm announced, pushing open the door to the room and inviting himself inside. "Were you born in a barn, Glenn? Keep the door and your arse cheeks tightly fucking closed, right?"

"That's a fucking tiny kettle. Did they use your dick as a ruler, because boy, it sure fucking looks like it." Ivy said.

"Where's glummy mummy?"

"She's having a pee." Glenn delivered.

Ivy suck out her hands, "Oh, Julie!" Julie was seated on the edge of the bed, twiddling her thumbs. "How are you?" She clasped them in front of herself.

She shrugged, "Could be worse."

Nicola came out of the bathroom, jumping at Malcolm's presence. "Fucking hell, Malcolm."

"Julie, darling, could we have a wee word with you?" He said.

"...Why, is something wrong?"

Malcolm squatted down next to her, awkwardly. "Do you know a man called Rob Holt?"

"I've never heard of him, why, what's all this about?"

"Well it's just that he's one of your uh, followers, on... Twitter?" Malcolm looked at Ivy. She nodded, echoing, "Twitter."

"And we think that some of your uh...?"

"Tweets."

"The tweets that you've been doing have actually been reported, out there."

"Well." She exhaled, "What're you accusing us of?"

"We're not accusing you of anything." Nicola said.

"You all look like you're accusing us of something! You fucking sound like you're accusing us of something!"

"No, no, no, no-"

"I've seen Spooks! You have treated me like a bag of shit all day!" Julie began, standing up. "I mean, I'm a very, very patient person, but I've had it up to here with yous lot! I should've known not to trust yous lot, when you fucked over them Metric Martyrs. All I was trying to do was right by my Jason, right? And if he was here now, he'd be fucking appalled by the way yous lot are carrying on. He always said you were a useless bunch of wankers."

Olly came in, holding a bag of crisps which crinkled obnoxiously. Although nothing could be more obnoxious than whatever was about to come out of his mouth. "Oh, Julie! Oh you're back! Excellent. Every epic needs a hero. Put tiny kettle on, lad, I'm gasping."

Malcolm was staring darkly at him, arms crossed. The awkward air was so thick you could cut it with a butter knife. "Uh, everything okay? What's-What's going on?"

"Uh- Malcolm, could you just come to the toilet with me, for a moment." She pushed him into the toilet. Ivy turned to look at it, making a confused face. She leaned towards the door once it shut, to try and hear some form on conversation. She only managed to pick up the gist of the plan.

Malcolm covertly told Glenn something. Ivy was too tired and too over it to figure out what. Julie left by herself in a ferocious hurry. As soon as the door slammed closed.

"Good riddance." Ivy mumbled.

"Do we have anything we can use against her?" Malcolm demanded.

Nicola rubbed her temple, crossing her arm over her chest. "Metric Martyr stuff. That's all I can think of."

"Fruit by the pound?" Ivy lifted herself off the wooden hutch, joining them near the bed. "That's it?"

"Fruit by the fucking pound. Fuck. Okay, well, we say we're dropping her for extremist views. How about that?"

The group shrugged, mutually agreeing that it was good enough for them. "Just don't go into detail, otherwise they'll crawl up your arse like a dirty little Syrian dwarf hamster all over again."

Ivy snickered at her own joke which was in her head. "How do you like them apples? By the pound?"

Olly and Nicola sighed heavily, one of them remarked, "Jesus."

  After quite a night of wine drinking, toasting, celebrating, or otherwise partying, Malcolm and Ivy said their goodbye's and goodnight's to friends and coworkers. They both looked like Hell. Well, it could be worse, but still Hell. Malcolm's bow tie was crooked and half undone (it was actually surprising to Ivy that he both knew how to tie one and had a real one, not just a pre-tied one). He had spilled droplets of dried cherry colored wine on his white button-up, which he had failed to notice in time, so it was likely that they'd leave irreparable stains. Ivy's makeup was smeared, a faint streak of eyeliner spread across her temple from a forgetful moment where she wiped the corner of her eye. Her dress was wrinkled, her hair messy. They were both half wine drunk. The clock read 12 am.

Despite looking like an embarrassing mess, Malcolm thought she was so incredibly gorgeous. He caught himself staring through the cracked door and into the mirror while she was washing her face and brushing out her curls. Good thing her eyes didn't catch his or he'd never hear the end of it. "Who's sleeping on the couch?" She asked, kneeling down beside her bag to pull out her pajamas.

"Huh?" He said, setting his tie in his overnight bag and removing his jacket.

"I said, who's sleeping on the couch?" She went back to the bathroom, this time closing the door so she could change.

He pulled his shirt out of his trousers and began unbuttoning it. Malcolm didn't listen to a word she said. All he knew is that she asked a question. So, he responded, "Sure."

"Were you even listening?" She laughed.

"No."

"Whatever. Are you decent?" Ivy had finished getting dressed. So had Malcolm, apparently, since he answered with a "Yes."

She stepped out of the bathroom, crouching down once again to put her clothes away. Malcolm felt his heart skip a beat. Oh God, he thought, she's even more stunning now. She was wearing a plain black spaghetti strap tank top and soft pajama shorts. She wasn't even trying to be attractive, she just plain was. Ivy had her arms crossed over her chest, staring at his face stoically.

"Right, I don't really feel like hunkering down on the couch tonight. So I'll sleep under the covers, you sleep on top."

"What?"

She sat on the side of the bed that had the flower painting. "Do you need hearing aids? We're both adults, get over it." She said, sliding into bed and rolling over. "Just don't snore."

"Fine." He pulled the spare blanket off of the top of the armchair, fluffing it out over the bed and laying under it. "Goodnight, Ivy."

"'Night, Malcolm."