#we told a story
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y'all people LOST it during my harley solo because of my quick release shorts, then they lost their minds further when the performance didn't end after the solo and introduced hivy. i made the most i've ever made doing burlesque and it was just at a local gay bar 🥹
#bat rambles#i got photos of me on stage too#and i feel so confident !!!#we looked SO good our shapes were phenomenal#we told a story#i got SO many compliments from peers who have been doing burlesque longer#like i really feel like my performances are elevating#and everyone is very excited to see what else i do#bc i'm playing really hard into the storytelling aspect of burlesque
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Rowling isn't denying holocaust. She just pointed out that burning of transgender health books is a lie as that form of cosmetic surgery didn't exist. But of course you knew that already, didn't you?
I was thinking I'd probably see one of you! You're wrong :) Let's review the history a bit, shall we?
In this case, what we're talking about is the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft, or in English, The Institute of Sexology. This Institute was founded and headed by a gay Jewish sexologist named Magnus Hirschfeld. It was founded in July of 1919 as the first sexology research clinic in the world, and was run as a private, non-profit clinic. Hirschfeld and the researchers who worked there would give out consultations, medical advice, and even treatments for free to their poorer clientele, as well as give thousands of lectures and build a unique library full of books on gender, sexuality, and eroticism. Of course, being a gay man, Hirschfeld focused a lot on the gay community and proving that homosexuality was natural and could not be "cured".
Hirschfeld was unique in his time because he believed that nobody's gender was either one or the other. Rather, he contended that everyone is a mixture of both male and female, with every individual having their own unique mix of traits.
This leads into the Institute's work with transgender patients. Hirschfeld was actually the one to coin the term "transsexual" in 1923, though this word didn't become popular phrasing until 30 years later when Harry Benjamin began expanding his research (I'll just be shortening it to trans for this brief overview.) For the Institute, their revolutionary work with gay men eventually began to attract other members of the LGBTA+, including of course trans people.
Contrary to what Anon says, sex reassignment surgery was first tested in 1912. It'd already being used on humans throughout Europe during the 1920's by the time a doctor at the Institute named Ludwig Levy-Lenz began performing it on patients in 1931. Hirschfeld was at first opposed, but he came around quickly because it lowered the rate of suicide among their trans patients. Not only was reassignment performed at the Institute, but both facial feminization and facial masculization surgery were also done.
The Institute employed some of these patients, gave them therapy to help with other issues, even gave some of the mentioned surgeries for free to this who could not afford it! They spoke out on their behalf to the public, even getting Berlin police to help them create "transvestite passes" to allow people to dress however they wanted without the threat of being arrested. They worked together to fight the law, including trying to strike down Paragraph 175, which made it illegal to be homosexual. The picture below is from their holiday party, Magnus Hirschfeld being the gentleman on the right with the fabulous mustache. Many of the other people in this photo are transgender.
[Image ID: A black and white photo of a group of people. Some are smiling at the camera, others have serious expressions. Either way, they all seem to be happy. On the right side, an older gentleman in glasses- Magnus Hirschfeld- is sitting. He has short hair and a bushy mustache. He is resting one hand on the shoulder of the person in front of him. His other hand is being held by a person to his left. Another person to his right is holding his shoulder.]
There was always push back against the Institute, especially from conservatives who saw all of this as a bad thing. But conservatism can't stop progress without destroying it. They weren't willing to go that far for a good while. It all ended in March of 1933, when a new Chancellor was elected. The Nazis did not like homosexuals for several reasons. Chief among them, we break the boundaries of "normal" society. Shortly after the election, on May 6th, the book burnings began. The Jewish, gay, and obviously liberal Magnus Hirschfeld and his library of boundary-breaking literature was one of the very first targets. Thankfully, Hirschfeld was spared by virtue of being in Paris at the time (he would die in 1935, before the Nazis were able to invade France). His library wasn't so lucky.
This famous picture of the book burnings was taken after the Institute of Sexology had been raided. That's their books. Literature on so much about sexuality, eroticism, and gender, yes including their new work on trans people. This is the trans community's Alexandria. We're incredibly lucky that enough of it survived for Harry Benjamin and everyone who came after him was able to build on the Institute's work.
[Image ID: A black and white photo of the May Nazi book burning of the Institute of Sexology's library. A soldier, back facing the camera, is throwing a stack of books into the fire. In the background of the right side, a crowd is watching.]
As the Holocaust went on, the homosexuals of Germany became a targeted group. This did include transgender people, no matter what you say. To deny this reality is Holocaust denial. JK Rowling and everyone else who tries to pretend like this isn't reality is participating in that evil. You're agreeing with the Nazis.
But of course, you knew that already, didn't you?
Edit: Added image IDs. I apologize to those using screen readers for forgetting them. Please reblog this version instead.
#transgender#trans history#transsexual#transphobia#Magnus Hirschfeld#holocaust#holocaust denial#book burning#j.k. rowling#jk rowling#just in case you missed what i mean by all this: go fuck yourself anon :)#trans people have always existed#and we will always exist#if you really wanna pick a fight with me over well-documented history then you better bring in some sources to back your shit#queer history#queer#lgbt+#lgbta+#lgbt#lgbt history#edit: i finally got around to those damn image IDs. i am so very sorry for totally forgetting that's my bimbo moment of the month#also real quick i thought about adding an image of the actual building but the only one i can find has a Nazi parade in front of it#it was taken the day of the book burning raid and honestly if i were to include it then i'd add it to the first few paragraphs#and i think the story's better told when you uphold the hope Magnus Hirschfeld and all the researchers he worked with had#also keeps being brought up: yes Hirschfeld was a eugenicist. it was a popular belief set that was only discredited after WW2#Hirschfeld died in 1935. he literally didn't live long enough to see science turn against those beliefs and practices#considering how he changed his mind on transitions i like to think he would've changed his mind on eugenics too if he'd lived
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Radiorose 📻🥀
Based on a true story where I deadass just started digging through a new friend’s purse because I’m a psycho who forgot how to have any goddamned manners 💀
#it was an alastor ita bag and I was looking for more alastor’s#I couldn’t believe my audacity#thankfully she was very gracious to me 😭#I actually met her because I walked into traffic because I was distracted by her amazing nun alastor cosplay!#and then told her the story and she gave me fanart she made and we followed each other#and then met up the next day at the con! it was lovely#cons are fun#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart#my doods#alastor#Radiorose#rosie hazbin
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#there are two types of actors 😂💖
#and both are wonderfully right btw 🥰#owen wilson#tom hiddleston#lokiedit#marveledit#mcuedit#impossible to resist giffing one of the best things to come from the loki series yet 😂😂#their friendship and dynamic is just. the MOST delightful thing in the world it never stops amazing me how well they click#and how tom will go on the most beautifully elegant reflection of all things loki while owen's view is so grounded in the everyday#which makes what he has to say even more insightful somehow because it just stops you in your tracks like everything else about him#how lucky are we to have gotten stories told by such a compliment of talent!#owenwilsonedit#dianagifs
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no thoughts just simon roughly undoing your corset at the end of the night. idk how he'd be there without it being seen as improper or whatever or maybe hes your husband but i feel like it'd send me into subspace so quick.. kinda similar to shibari? idk.
The times when he's rough with your stays are few and far between, mostly he unlaces the (newly) double stranded thing with blunt nails that slip against the laces. His own knots so carefully tied keeping you held tight in what may as well be his embrace. His signature is already neatly embroidered on your modesty panel, his words neatly penned in bleeding ink professing all the places his lips would touch. Scandalous delivered before he ever made it to your marriage bed, you might add.
Oh no, Simon is very... deliberate with your stays. Possessive, even. His knot is one you can't undo, one that even he sometimes resorts to pulling between his teeth. It's a security you can't go against, a lock whose only key is held by Simon. He won't even let your maid touch your laces. You sit for him and arch into his touch as he threads one line, then another, and another. His fingers skim your chemise, his breath just barely even. You hang your head to feel his teeth graze the top knob of your spine as he pulls you tight, and takes the first swell of your breath between his fingers.
It's a beautiful thing. A second spine borrowed from your husband's hand. How each crossed thread holds its own knot at the center, how each lace ladders itself to climb up the looping of Simon's signature, his name just barely visible under the knots and laces. No, he doesn't tear at your stays. Swear at them maybe. Tell you he won't tie them so tight next time, a lie. But never tear.
Cut? Well, now that's another thing entirely. And you'd be lying if you said the press of his blade along your spine, slowly carving out your trapped breath, didn't make you squeeze your legs around the hand he'd already buried between them.
#cod x reader#x reader#simon ghost riley#x oc#cod x oc#ghost mw2#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x reader#simon riley#simon riley x reader#mw2 ghost#ghost cod#oc: goose#im gonna slot this into my edwardian au#EVEN THOUGH I KNOW THE STAYS WERE SHORTER#fashion nerds please dont come for me i know the sins im committing#have we not all sinned for our horniness? am i truly so different from you?#also i just came back from some truly wonderful community theater#which told Edgar Allan Poe's life story#and all the costumes were 1870s victorian style#which is crazy because he dies in 1849
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Losing my shit about this article in which a transphobic Tory was so busy panicking about existing in the vicinity of a Trans that she almost certainly misheard "jeans" as "penis" and decided that not only was this a problem with the other woman, but also that the world must be informed of this pressing danger.
"a trans woman! I had to stand directly behind her....I thought, 'this is going well', I'm handling The Situation fine'..."
translated: I saw a tall woman with broad shoulders. How would I get out of this alive? I thought. she has a PENIS. PENIS PENIS PENIS. through some force of PENIS I mean will I managed to PENIS behave normally towards her. My hands were PENIS PENIS PENIS shaking as I tried to dry them. summoning up all my PENIS courage I said 'dryer's crap innit'. she turned to me and said " yeah I'm just goiPENIS PENIS PENIS"
It's been a week and I'm still shaking. This proves trans women are the problem and I'm not weird. I'm fine. It's fine. If you think about it I'm the hero hePENIS!!!!!
very this
#red said#it's just. I'm obsessed.#everyone on Twitter is saying 'never happened' and i think they're wrong#this absolutely did happen and she's been obsessing over how vindicated it made her feel enough to WRITE AN ARTICLE ABOUT IT#because she MISHEARD SOMEONE IN A CASUAL CONVERSATION#i lay out my reasoning thusly: if you were INVENTING a scary trans woman in bathroom story out of nothing. why would it be this?#why would you go with 'we had a banal conversation until she said a sentence that makes no sense and that no human has ever uttered#but which does coincidentally sounds almost exactly like a mishearing of a very NORMAL thing to say in the circumstances#then she left and nothing else occurred'#if you were going to INVENT a story you would probably make it MAKE SENSE or SOUND THREATENING#i truly believe this is a very authentically told account of what she thinks happened#because who would. by means other than mishearing. think 'I'm going to wipe my hands on my penis' makes any sense at all.#a) 'I'm going to dry my hands on my genitals' says the presumably fully clothed woman#b) who then proceeds to leave without doing anything threatening#c) WHO SAYS PENIS THREATENINGLY? sorry it's writing out 'penis' repeatedly that made this jump out to me but like. who says that?#you might hear someone talk casually about their dick or cock but i stg it's only doctors and TERFs who casually use the word penis much#it's so. clinically descriptive. it's a weird use of language. but it IS. something you could plausibly mishear from 'pants' or 'trousers'
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when nimona first shapeshifted in front of gloreth, gloreth was a little freaked out, but more just shocked, and then they went on being friends. it was only once gloreth’s parents told her that nimona is a horrible monster that she finally turned on her. this movie isn’t subtle in the least with its themes, but i like this part of the movie because it really shows just how imaginary and baseless (for lack of a better way to phrase this) the fear of monsters (i.e. trans people) in society is. children, like gloreth, when left alone without any societal influences, will be faced with this Other, Different thing and accept it, just go with it. befriend them.
#bluebird.txt#nimona#it’s like all those stories you hear where people are like ‘i told my niece im gay and she asked why im still single’ or something like tha#kids don’t care! kids left to their own devices really don’t care!#anyways we live in a society whatever whatever#i love this movie#this is brought to you by me living in Stupid Bigoted People Land and i’m tired of it
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swipes everything else off of the table to yell about diasomnia flower bookmarks
(I gave Silver one too :D)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#white rabbit festival#me: oh boy i wonder what excitement will happen in this new part#characters: now it is time to buy souvenirs :)#me: oh god#jk jk even when the filler is kind of painful i do enjoy the little character moments#like everyone screaming as loud as they can into silver's watch#deuce busting out his suzy izzard impression#SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!#and of course silver assigning flowers to the other dias and getting all sappy over lilia. god. delicious.#you don't understand this ten second long scene is everything to me#though we all know the real highlight#the knowledge that 1) deuce used to have an extremely silly edgy badass nickname#2) he almost certainly gave it to himself#3) he harassed epel's extended family to the point that they told horror stories about him and he was briefly epel's personal idol#epel: i heard he once killed three men with but a look#deuce: what no i never...i mean...ha ha sounds weird nothing a model student like me would know about#also deuce: if you fuckers don't apologize to my mom right now i'll fucking kill all of you (sees dilla) uhhh i mean#deuce: i challenge you to a children's game#black bunnies leader: (strapping on his duel disk) i accept#meanwhile silver is running full speed at a group of children screaming to them about donuts#we aren't going to talk about what ortho did with that fantasy-gregg's sausage roll#so glad that we've reached the 'what the heck is even happening' portion of the event#anyway i completely screwed up the resolution of these so here's hoping they don't look terrible!#whoops!
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what if i Entirely made up another relationship but with the express intent that they Don’t get together actually. this started out as a lol an lmao even but honestly i think i needed this. cathartically
based on the tags of my post here
👍if you ship scc go away
#like even from a non-aro perspective i think we should have more ‘friends who don’t feel the same way abt eachother’ that doesn’t nece cen#necessarily centers the one w the romantic feelings#like yeah i bet it sucks to have feelings for someone who doesn’t and won’t ever feel the same#but speaking from personal experience it is fucking Harrowing to know someoen wants ‘more’ from their relationship with you#and you don’t feel that way. and now that you know now that you’ve been told. your relationship will never go back to how it was#and for me i had a lot of doubts afterwards! i was scared!#sure he was scared to tell me he wanted to date me but i was scared to tell The Kid He Sent To Ask that I didn’t want to date him !#deltarune#the art gallery#honestly deltarune probably isn’t the story to Have this narrative considering Evrry Thing Else. especially not with these characters HDHSJ#but what can I say. I like the them#scc#vomit mention
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You know, it's a tragedy that there are no (or very little) Vampire x Christian stories out there, not for angst or theology or forbidden seductiveness or whatnot but for the sheer comedy of it all. I mean, the Christian would technically be immune to all of the vampire's shenanigans, like for example...
Vampire: Fool, I am the most powerful vampire in the West. Nothing but the force of an entire holy temple could even deign to scratch me Christian: Idiot, I AM a holy temple. 1 Corinthians 6:19, fear me and the Spirit inside that can burn you to ashes
#this thought was brought on by a conversation i saw on the km shea discord#and also my need to theologize everything#it would be so funny to me too if we added the fact that the human Christian was also anemic#(not because anemia is funny. especially not if it's chronic. just the fact that the vamp couldn't bite the human)#truth be told it doesn't even have to be a romance to me. just a chaotic comedy duo#lemon duck quacks#lemon duck tales#yeah this is funny#for the words!#one day i will write all my deranged supernatural story ideas that involve way too much Christian imagery and comedy#but for now....#anyway how to make the most unbiteable human that you cannot help be drawn to as a modernized vamp?#Christian and likely chronically iron deficient#i am very sorry if this is offensive#but you know#vampires
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My mom has this awful friend, Cynthia. My loathing goes deep enough that I’m not even going to change her name. If she ever finds this she knows what she did.
On multiple occasions my mom asked this horrible irresponsible chicken brained woman to watch after our animals while we were away. I don’t know why once wasn’t enough, because the first failure was so spectacular that anyone in their right mind would know she couldn’t be trusted with any level of responsibility or direction following.
You might be thinking to yourself, FFS, this level of antipathy is surely unwarranted! But you’d be wrong.
To set the scene, we were living in downstairs of our house when I was about fifteen. My mom has always wanted more animals than can reasonably be kept indoors which is how we ended up with three cats. When she wanted to kick them all outside I protested, and so all three cats lived in my bedroom with no access to the rest of the house.
That really wasn’t great, so in an attempt to give them options we made a window cutout with a cat door in it to give them access to the outdoors. Looking back on this as an environmentally conscious adult it’s wretched, cats should be indoor only, but at the time I was desperate to give them some freedom because one bedroom is too small for three cats.
So my parents and I went on a week long trip to visit family out of state. We told Cynthia to come feed and water the cats, and to scoop the litter box. Most importantly, don’t lock the handle of the door, because we only have the key to the deadbolt.
I’m sure you can see where this is going.
Cynthia locked us out. We arrived home after 12 hours on the road, desperate for the comfort of our own beds. We were met with an unyielding door. With a sigh I volunteered, “I can punch in the cat door and climb in the window.”
I slipped behind the bamboo outside my window and pushed in the cutout. A horrible insidious reek wafted out at me. I paused, prickling with foreboding. But I had a job to do, and by god I’d see it through. I hefted myself up into the window and my hand immediately landed in something wet.
Skin crawling, I pulled myself up and surveyed the darkened room as a miserable odor of decay and suffering poured out of the room around me. I could see dark shapes littering the carpet and it didn’t take a genius to guess that the cats had taken up hunting in a big way during my absence.
I pulled my hand out of the pile of vomit it had landed in and dropped into my onetime bedroom turned now into a hellpit of decomposing wretchedness. I turned on the light. I wished I had not turned on the light.
My eyes scanned across the floor, tallying as they went. Two dead birds, a dead baby rabbit, five dead mice, and one dead snake. I paused on my alarm clock, perplexed to see a stain of white on it. I stepped closer and saw a furtive movement.
The tally suddenly contained also: one live bird that had shit in several places, probably in pure terror to find itself trapped in a room littered with decomposing woodland creatures, which honestly, fair. I coaxed it out the window and finished the survey with five discrete piles of vomit.
I unlocked the door and let my parents in. They exclaimed in disgust at the horrible smell. We stood together in my doorway floored by the magnitude of neglect. The unscooped litter box was a subtle footnote in the tangible reek my living space. I disposed of the parade of ecological disaster, cleaned vomit, and scooped the box after a brutally long day on the road. The cats were fine, and happy to see me. They had a huge dish or food and water so Cynthia’s neglect at least hadn’t harmed them.
Then I slept on the couch while my bedroom aired out, the windows flung wide to dispel the uneasy ghosts of the hunted. I spent the whole night cursing Cynthia’s name for this evil she’d visited upon me. When my mom asked her, "Cynthia, didn't you see the dead animals?"
Cynthia responded, "Yes, they smelled so bad, I just ran in and out as fast as I could." I fully don't believe she did any caretaking, and I'm personally of the opinion that she locked herself out on the first day and never came back.
The next day my room had returned to a habitable level of smellscape and I gratefully crawled into my bed that night. I stretched out and froze as my foot brushed something cold and wet?
The final indignity: one last dead snake, inside my very sheets.
Fucking Cynthia.
#ramblies#story#ffs foibles#keep your cats inside#but also looking back like why didn't I change my sheets#I did not have good bed hygiene instilled in me from my parents#later that lady would go on to leave a huge metal dish of dog food in the middle of the yard#despite the fact that we told her over and over not to feed the dog because he was on a diet#and I knew not to trust her so my friend was coming twice a day to feed him his portioned out meals#he gained like ten pounds in the week we were gone eating rained on mushy dog food#that fucking woman was a menace#Cynthia
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snakeman luffy
#monkey d luffy#one piece#my art#op snake god au#described in alt text#i wuv snake ppl so fucking much you have No idea#when i was a kid a teacher told us a story about a king? whose wife told him he wasnt allowed to look at her when she bathes but he#got curious after a while and looked only to find out she was half snake and he ran away. and!! my whole 7yo self was so confused because#if i had found out my wife was half snake i'd be so happy!! anyway ive been meaning to draw him as a snake for a while now and finally did#it! i wish we had a snaketember the same way we have mermay i'd be so happy fr
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To the ‘themes I am picking up on in Veilguard’ list, let's go ahead and add what I have a sneaking suspicion will actually turn out to be The theme:
— the world has changed and can never be as it was again.
— I have been changed and can never be who I was again.
— in this simple unavoidable truth there is endless grief and endless hope.
And I… may be getting a bit emotional about it haha. Let me show my work a bit:
if da:o is a game about people who are already dead or half ghosts in some form (through societal forces, psychologically, functionally, literally, in body, through the joining etc.) coming together anyway to save the world from being swallowed by total nihilism and despair (symbolized by the blight) through the power of love and friendship and also this sword/potential heroic sacrifice that I found, da2 is a game about people who have lost their homes and been set adrift finding and building new homes in each other (while completely failing to save the world. also through the power of love and friendship. as well as years of petty bickering <3 we must imagine kirkwall if not happy then worth having been because the love was there the love was there and that's the only sanctifying force we can ever have in this doomed world and city of ours), and da:i is a game about old stabilizing-but-unjust comfortable lies vs. disruptive but potentially liberating uncomfortable truths, and the power of friendship to help us distinguish the one from the other and navigate through them...
folks… I'm starting to think that veilguard might be a game specifically about moving towards recovery and acceptance after trauma — about how even in this flawed, severed, scarred state, what is here right now is worth loving and worth caring for. even in an imperfect and impermanent world and self, there is worth and joy. and of course the first real tragedy — and threat — of Solas is that he just cannot find it in himself to accept this and move on, to let go of what was, the regret won’t let him go or he won’t let go of it. which means that even though on the surface it’s Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain (and the will to subjugate and violate they represent) who are the main villains, the real antagonistic force in this story beneath that is the Dread Wolf’s despair. A despair Rook must make an answer to by the end of the game, one way or another, compassionately or with righteous fury, triumphant or pyrrhic.
The world will change again and again and so will you — BUT the crucial element is that so will everyone else who exists along with you, you are fundamentally not alone in this existential truth. all we’ll ever have is each other and my god that is plenty, my god that is enough!!! Which is the second thing Solas just can’t accept, he keeps himself separate and completely alone out of an awful mix of fear and pride and feeling himself unworthy of anything else. Rook and the player want to save the world of Thedas because it’s where everyone we love lives, Solas wants to go back to the past because that’s the only neighbourhood where he can still visit those he loved — and the person he himself was, before. A very sympathetic and human instinct/trap to fall into when touched by trauma, I think, if only it wasn’t backed by godlike power, a fundamentally oppositional personality, and a catastrophic lack of therapy to make it literally everyone else’s problem too lol. It’s varric and solas’ banter about the man on the island and where meaning in a life comes from all over again, writ large and with detail work — and the added idea of ‘what if there are also other islands out there, though. With other people on them that you could find if you reach for each other’. Rook with the best of intentions has to make choices to which there are no perfect outcomes and live with what happens — and not cut themselves off from everyone else around them even when there is regret or shame. You get back up every day and you make a life with other people doing the same and you do your best, and that’s the only victory this world will give you. In the end, that is more than enough, that is essential. And I um. I love that. So much. It’s why some of the writing clumsiness on top can’t hurt me because this thematic spine is so solid and so beautiful to me. It’s DA2 all over again that way for me personally — I forgive this story for what it isn’t and couldn’t be, and I love it with my whole stupid open heart for what it actually is. Thank you for coming to my TED-talk and goodbye etc.
(For my fellow TLT heads out there — you know what this story is reminding me of most of all, actually? It has some big Nona the Ninth vibes down there in the deep. It’s about… the horror and unspeakable beauty that can only be found in liminality, and the role of love in making that basic fact of existence bearable. And also even more unbearable at the same time. I'm so sorry.)
#I told you all I was going to be extremely myself about this. I suppose we all hoped I was joking. even while knowing I was not#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age meta#solas#varric tethras#anyway. at the end of the day and despite everything varric won the 'I told you so chuckles' rights over solas in this philosophical debate#and isn't that enough in a way. I think so. the world and the story of the world is his legacy. people get to keep telling it#I want to say so much about how each of the companions play into the different aspects of this theme but I should uh#probably finish the game properly first haha#guys I literally opened my eyes this morning and wrote out most of this before even getting up. the pressure cooker brain is back#the lone brain cell in here boileth over with dragon age feels & thoughts#very little sends me deranged quite like this series I'm afraid. I'm just still so relieved that even if this story isn't for everyone.#it is for me. thank god. I needed it
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sorry but do you ever think about the fact that the bernard we have today is a direct amalgamation of everything that happened in his past and i know that sound like such an obvious statement to say but it actually kills me to know that you can draw a direct line from who he is today all the way back to that sixteen year old boy who watched his best friend bleed out. like it is the defining moment in his life. it fundamentally shaped who he is and the person he's become. he is the bernard we know and love not despite the grieves shooting but because of it. because the gangs all got together and shot up his school. because tim walked out of that room with nothing but a baseball bat. because his darla got shot. because he watched her gasp and cry as she died. because he watched the blood coagulate around the wound. because he sat there and held her hand as her life drained out of her. because he walked into school that day with a joke he knew would make her laugh and her nose would scrunch up and she'd snort a little and tim would roll his eyes at him and call him ridiculous and instead he walked out with a bloody white shirt, blood under his fingernails, and two friends less. because, even now, almost half a decade out from the shooting, he thinks that if he closes his eyes, he will always be that stupid, scared little sixteen year old, holding the cooling body of dead best friend.
#there is a direct throughline from the boy we meet in robin 121 all the way to man tim reconnects with in urban legends 4#like maybe you guys have other interpretations of it but to me this is *the* defining moment in his life#and that's not to say that he perpetually bound to this traumatic event but it impacted him sooo much that his life is now divided#before shooting and after shooting#like you cannot tell me him falling into the cult was just something that happened to him#it happened bc he was in such a bad place from watching his friend die and then on top of that he loses contact with tim!!!!#this is his canon event!!!!#if you took it away from him if you made it so that he never had to go through it#the bernard we would get would not be the same bernard we got in urb leg4 and tdr#does it not make you want to chew on drywall that to get to the bear we love he has watch his darla die first????#head in hands head in hands#and it wasnt like batman came immediately after darls died!!! iirc they had to wait a little before he came#which means!!!!! alll those kids but bear esp had to sit in that room with darls' dead body until batman came!!!!!#do you think he cried and held her hand until batman came??? do you think he begged her not to go??? or do you think he told her#stories and made promises of all the things they were gonna do after they got out??? do you think he put pressure on the wound and#watched as the blood soaked through the jacket they were using as a towel??? and when she finally passed do you think he bit his lip#clean through to stop himself from wailing? bc if he's too loud the gunmen will hear them and he cannot be the reason jay from#history dies#auuuugh i cant fucking do this anymore#bernard dowd#timbern#darla aquista#louis grieve trio
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Hey, so do you ever stop to think about how the premise of Lord of the Rings being an in-universe book written by some of the characters who lived through that story means that they decided what parts and perspectives to use to tell that story...?
And when our authors weren't there to experience the events themselves, they have to rely on what they're told about them by the characters who were there, right...?
Okay so stop and think about the Glittering Caves.
We never actually go to the caves in the narrative. Tolkien LOVES describing nature and natural beauty, but we don't actually see the caves described "by him" the way we do other places. Obviously Gimli's words are Tolkien's, yes; but we only see the caves filtered through his words about them, after the fact.
When Gimli and Éomer and the other Rohirrim take refuge there, the narrative doesn't follow them. Obviously from a narrative standpoint this is to keep the focus narrow, and not to interrupt the battle-sequence with a long ode to the beauty of the caves, and to create tension in the reader who doesn't know if these characters are okay or not. Which all makes sense!
But think about it in terms of the book that was written in Middle-earth by the folk living there. Why DON'T we get to have a direct experience of those caves? Gimli obviously related several other parts of the story that none of the Hobbits were there to witness to them, and which were written into the books as Direct Events Happening In The Narrative (think of the Paths of the Dead scene, for one of the more visceral moments!). So why not the Glittering Caves?
Was it because they wanted to keep that narrative focus and tension, and so they didn't include his perspective on that part of the battle? Perhaps, that's certainly a possibility to consider.
But also consider: when we do hear about the Glittering Caves, what we hear is Gimli telling Legolas about the Glittering Caves. THAT is the part of that event that is considered of importance to include in the book: not Gimli's actual experience when he was in them, but rather the part where he relates that experience TO Legolas.
And I kind of just THOUGHT about that today.
And went HUH.
#i mean that's pretty neat right?#the story could very easily have included gimli and eomer in the caves#and probably tolkien could have done some really beautiful stuff with language and tension and contrast#balancing the beauty of the caves with the fear and bloodshed of the battle outside#and it would probably be an incredibly lovely sequence tbh#then the gimli/legolas discussion about the caves could be easily glossed-over on the way to isengard#with the narrative just telling us that gimli told legolas about the caves and he was moved by gimli's words yadda yadda#since we would have already experienced the wonders he was talking about for ourselves and thus wouldn't need him to go on at length#and then they make their bargain to go to aglarond and fangorn together tra la lally resume normal service here#that would have also been a perfectly fine and lovely way to write that part of the story#BUT#that is not how the story was written#and i just find it really interesting and lovely that THAT is what was considered the important part about gimli's discovery of aglarond#lotr meta#gimli#legolas#aglarond#glittering caves#lord of the rings#lotr
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Why, I got lost at C̶̥̆ö̵̯́ṅ̸̬v̸̯̌e̴̲͘r̵͙̐g̶̑͜e̵̘͊n̵͐͜c̸̨̀è̶̡ ̷̟͊S̴͎̓t̵͎͂a̴̠͊t̵̟͝i̷͙̐o̴̖̓n̷͕̂, how are you?
#Convergence Station#Meow Wolf#Denver#art installation#was in town for SIGGRAPH so we stopped by#I REALLY want to make it to all the other locations now#Inoni Sighting#THIS HOLE WAS MADE FOR ME#I ended up buying a Bearret plushie I couldn't resist#also idk if this is standard procedure or if this employee was awesome#so I really wanted a 'boop' card but didn't grab one downstairs#and when I asked about it in the main exhibit was told it was 3 bucks#but was told the currency 'off Earth' was 'Mems'#so I could just share a memory in exchange for a card#so I told a 30-year-old story about dropping my ice cream on the floor#and thusly got a boop card#what a fun discount#lol
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