#necessarily centers the one w the romantic feelings

[the-meme-monarch]

what if i Entirely made up another relationship but with the express intent that they Don’t get together actually. this started out as a lol an lmao even but honestly i think i needed this. cathartically

based on the tags of my post here

👍if you ship scc go away

[yeonboy]

𝐧𝐨 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 ♡ choi yeonjun.

If you had known that a fun night out eating junk food with your best friend that you have always harbored a crush on would turn this sour because he misunderstood your words, you would have kept your mouth shut. Now Yeonjun has gone radio silent on you and if you want to salvage your friendship, you will have to get over your feelings first because he will never forgive you if he finds out. Right?

❧ choi yeonjun x f. reader | 16+ | college!au ♡ best friends to lovers!au ♡ angst ♡ humor ♡ fluff

❧ 7 k words

❧ warnings! inaccuracies wrt college sports/scouting/ice hockey, profanity, suggestive language, suggestive scenes, discussion and exhibition of puck bunny behavior, mentions of slut-shaming, misunderstandings, miscommunication, jealousy, some pining, yeonjun is stooooopiiiid, yn is also stooooopiiiid, one (1) singular heavy makeout sesh that gets a little out of hand hehe (:

❧ note! hi, world! this is a sideblog i created v v recently, but you won’t find links to my main anywhere bec i’ve decided to be a catfish on this one (: LOL jk, i just wanted a fresh start. i will be cutting back on the hoeing around i used to indulge in w my writing on that blog, and keep this place as sfw as i can - we’ll focus on tummy-aching angst instead! w a happy ending ofc bec ya girl is a softie 😔

leave me feedback if you like this! follow for more! (:

❧ masterlist | inbox ⁘

"Dude, this has gone so fucking soggy, it's like chewing leather. Please stop eating it."

Your words of disgust and grimace of distaste were, unsurprisingly, nothing to deter your best friend from munching on the cold fries he'd left for the last when he'd been too busy gobbling down his burgers. Stuffing a handful into his mouth like an actual ape, he in fact wiggles his eyebrows at you in a challenge.

"I feel like I've seen an orangutan eat exactly the way you just did, Choi Yeonjun. Please stop."

That makes him giggle and clear his mouth, finally raising his hands in surrender. "Kay, I give up. They do taste like leather."

"Not even gonna ask how you know that… But this is why you're supposed to have your fries with the burgers and not after it."

"But they mess up my palate!"

When he pouts like that, it's so hard for you to believe that he's the university’s senior ice hockey team’s ace, their Center, their captain, and that he’s looking to get scouted professionally, this year. When he pouts like that, he takes you back to the time you first met him on the first day of your high school, both clueless freshmen with wide, innocent eyes full of huge dreams about your future.

Dreams that you're both very, very close to making a reality, now – him as a professional hockey player, and you interning at the law firm of your dreams.

Damn. Time sure flies fast.

“What? Is there something on my face?” Yeonjun tilts his head and you blink away from your thoughts, averting your gaze from his to instead stare at his shitty, soggy fries.

“Yeah. Stupid. A lot of it.”

Yeonjun rolls his eyes and rips a tissue out of the dispenser on the table to dab around his mouth just in case, and that gives you room to breathe in and out and try to will away the heat you can feel in your cheeks.

See, now, the thing is – you don’t necessarily have romantic feelings for your platonic best friend of eight years. That’d just be absurd and kind of creepy. But you sure as heck have always harbored a crush on him.

It’s just impossible not to! 

Guy has always been literally the most gorgeous human being you’ve ever seen, even at the universally ugly age of fourteen. He’s a gentleman, always kind to every single person in his life, would probably cut a limb off for a friend in need, and ever since your sophomore year of college, he’s gotten into manically coloring his hair, which…is seriously injurious to the onlookers’ health because dear God, the dirty blonde of his hair with the dark roots peeking through from his middle part? Makes your heart literally pound.

And he isn’t even doing anything! Other than being gross with a tissue paper and inedible fries, which should absolutely turn you off from ever liking anything about him, but it does the opposite.

That is another thing about him – he’s too freaking smooth and sexy about every damn thing in his life. The day his hair turned from black to blue, nearly two years back, he developed all these flirty charms on top of his kind ones. Now he isn’t just an insanely handsome dude who’d hold your hand to help you cross the road, but he’d also freaking wink at you when you thank him for his kindness.

You as in a person, not – not you. He’d never wink at you, you're too friendzoned for that. And it's kind of a blessing because you’d probably run the risk of jumping back into oncoming traffic if he did.

Wow.

You can’t count on one hand the number of times you have had to tug on the reins of your heart when it’s tried to take a flight, jumping off the cliff of your very inconvenient crush and into the bottomless abyss of having actual romantic feelings for him. Because that would be catastrophic. And not just because you fear he'd reject you and you’d lose the one person who means the most to you in the world.

“Should I get more burgers?”

Your gaze snaps to him in surprise. He’s pouting again, this time looking at the greasy fingerprints laden menu card kept on your table. The anxiety that had started to churn in your stomach at the prospect of your very concerning crush turning into something more, suddenly leaves and you huff out a small laugh.

“You’ve had six in the past hour, Jjun. I’d say stop for the night, maybe?”

“Hey, I have a big appetite!” He scowls at you. “And it’s close to midnight, already! You know I begin my diet for the season from tomorrow!”

You groan. “Well, then, why did you ask?”

“To be encouraged, of course! To be comforted.” He widens his eyes and blinks at you. “Or did you forget I’m also supposed to be nursing a broken heart?”

The groan you release at that is loud, drawn out and filled with a year’s worth of exasperation. This is the other reason why you catching romantic feelings for him would be catastrophic. His emotional quotient is seriously questionable when it comes to the matters of heart. If he could love a partner half as much as he loves dogs, maybe he wouldn’t be ‘nursing a heartbreak’ because of the fifth person that has dumped him since your final year began. And you aren’t even done with your mid-sems yet.

But you don't tell him that, instead patting on his leather jacket clad forearm with a fake sympathetic expression. “Ah, yes, poor you. My deepest condolences to your heart.”

He knows you and your bullshit and you know he does, so the attack that his hands launch at your throat in the next two seconds doesn't surprise you, and your defensively raised shoulders don't surprise him.

You're both dissolving into giggles, then, having nothing short of a wrestling match across the small cafe table. "I really liked Lea, okay?"

"Oh yeah? You didn't even—oof, that tickles! You didn't even know she was Kai's sister!"

At that he lets go of you and slumps back in his seat with a scowl. "Please don't remind me. I still worry he's gonna stab me in my sleep someday…"

You place a palm over your mouth to stifle your laugh. "To be fair, Lea shouldn't have been indulging in puck bunny behavior if she didn't want to be treated like one."

"Don't say that wo~rd," Yeonjun whines with his whole head thrown back. "She's Kai's sister! And she's younger than me!"

"Just by four months! Stop being dramatic, Jjun. She's a junior at college – she knew what she was doing."

Yeonjun doesn't look convinced. "I mean… I don't think she was with me only because I'm hockey captain. She knows all of HK's friends personally."

You wonder why he is defending her. Did he actually, genuinely like the girl? Romantically? What are the odds of Yeonjun finally making an attempt to open his heart up to someone and them ending up dumping him? He doesn't really look that dumped, though, so you figure that this must be out of some misplaced protectiveness he feels for one of his best friend's sisters.

Man should've thought of that before he dated her. Sigh.

"Yeah, which makes it worse." You wince when he frowns. "Come on, Jjun. She's known you since middle school but decides to make a move now? Only to break it off in three weeks because others are 'slut-shaming' her”—you make air-quotes around the term, rolling your eyes—“when they call her out for wearing another guy's jersey in preseason when she's supposed to be dating you. Can't tell me that's not manipulative and experienced puck bunny behavior."

Yeonjun’s eyes are wide when you finish speaking. “What…?”

“She didn't have feelings for you, Jjun! I mean, you obviously didn't have any for her either, but I hope you keep it that way with these girls. I highly doubt Lea even tried to get to know you at all, given how busy she was posting pictures of y'all on all her socials." His expressions haven't changed much, so you try to conclude your point quickly. “All I'm saying is, it is actually a good thing you’ve never taken these relationships too seriously. There’s more business than emotion with these clout chasers, Jjun.”

Yeonjun is gaping at you now and you're a little confused as to how to take it. Is he surprised at the revelation about Lea? You doubt that to be the case when the entire tale of their romance had been broadcasted all over the campus this past week.

So then…is he surprised at your opinion of things? You sure hope he isn't about to pick a fight with you because you're in no mood to concede. Not about this. Not when you've died multiple deaths every minute that Lea has spent being a pick-me by your best friend's side.

"I… She did have feelings for me, Y/N. They—the girls that I date all have some feelings for me, come on." He gives a small chuckle that is so wry, it makes you fidget in discomfort. “I haven’t taken these relationships that casually. I'm – I’m not some vain playboy, sleeping my way around the college.”

Okay, hold on – what?

What?

How did he take that away from your rant? He's really defending himself when you never even attacked him? When you never would attack him?

"Yeonjun, no… That's not what I'm trying—"

"Let's – let's just drop this." He looks distressed, and the frown on his lips makes your heart hurt. More so because you are the one who put it there. "You won't get it, anyways."

Now that – gives you a pause. "I won't…get it?"

He gets up, unbothered and unabashed, and walks with his tray of empty wrappers and inedible fries to dump it into the trash can near the exit of the cafe. You wordlessly follow, tilting your head in an attempt to catch his eye, but Yeonjun's got some 5 inches on you so you can't really force him to look at you when he doesn't want to.

And now he's walking out of the cafeteria.

"Jjun?"

He sighs and stops, looking over his shoulder, straight into your eyes with a bored stare. "What?"

"What? You're, like, not even gonna explain that last sentence?" 

This time you're the one with the wry chuckle while Yeonjun fidgets in discomfort. 

"What won't I get, Yeonjun?"

"Look, it's… well. You’ve always subtly looked down upon all the girls I’ve dated in college, and that was fine. You’re my best friend, you’re allowed to be a critic.” He shrugs with a nonchalant look in his eyes, but his lips are still twisted sourly. “But… I never realized you thought I was the problem. Someone so vapid that my only appeal is the fame hockey gets me.”

No… literally when did you insinuate that?

You're rendered mute, taken aback by how badly Yeonjun seems to have interpreted your words. He exhales and it sounds very loaded. You don't miss the way he keeps avoiding your gaze; nor the disappointed frown that decorates his forehead.

“You won’t get it because you don’t want me, you’ve never wanted me – and that is absolutely cool! But just because you like to have me as a comedic relief character in your life doesn’t mean that no one sees any depth in me.”

“A… comedic relief character?” your voice comes out low and hoarse and almost tattered, a little shrilly from disbelief. You're not even gonna touch on his 'never wanted him' claim because the rest of his speech has your brain actually spinning. “What the hell are you talking about? This isn’t about you – it’s about these girls… You’re my best friend, Yeonjun!”

“And yet you can’t find one reason why these girls would like me beyond using me for clout.” He gives a shrug and finally meets your eyes again. But his stare is absolutely vacant and unreadable. “You don’t use me for clout, though, and yet you keep me around. You obviously don’t care about my opinions, or you wouldn't have exchanged numbers with Changbin when I told you he was bad news. What else is there to our friendship other than laughing together, then?”

His words are like death blows – each syllable laced with a different kind of poison. Every inhale you take from the air his words have contaminated seems to sear a painful path through your lungs. Breathing hurts. Looking at him hurts. Your eyes are filling up and your tummy is aching.

There’s so much wrong with everything he just said, so much misinterpretation, so many actual blatant untruths, that you don’t even know how to begin correcting them. 

How did you even get here?

You’d only been trying to warn him about girls that might use him. You were only trying to protect his heart.

How did that turn into him thinking you don’t value your friendship with him? That you don’t value him?

“Oh, and by the way,” he continues, pushing both hands into his leather jacket and looking into the distance, “Changbin’s probably gonna ask you to cheer for him this season, which is kind of a big deal because… you know, this out final session and there will be professional scouts present and all. So if you decide to say yes…” He pauses and turns to look at you again, gaze tired and eyes lidded. “If you say yes, I hope you know it’ll mean a lot more.”

Why is he bringing up Changbin again? You’d only exchanged numbers to get that guy's incessant ass off your back – you haven’t even responded to a single text he’s sent you in the past two months. Cheering for him? In a season as important to their careers as this one? 

Absolutely out of the question.

Does Yeonjun not know you at all?

You’re about to tell him that, when he suddenly pulls his phone out with a sigh. “I’m planning to hand my jersey over to Chaeyoung – you know, running for senior cheer captain? Thought I’d ask for your opinion, but… You’ve already made that pretty clear tonight.”

Angry tears blur your vision and your heart hurts as if it’s dying a slow death in your chest.

Chaeyoung, really? So he’s skipping seamlessly from Lea to Chaeyoung. 

Of course. 

Why did you even bother worrying about his heart when he clearly doesn’t even have one. How could you forget.

Maybe it’s a good thing you never let yourself fall for Yeonjun beyond a crush.

“For what it’s worth,” you finally manage to mutter, brows furrowed and gaze focused on your worn out sneakers, “I’m sorry. I was trying to look out for you, not – not hurt you. You’re the most important person in my life, Yeonjun. I could never hurt you.”

You don’t wanna wait around to hear his response, so you just wordlessly walk away. Your dorms are hardly half a mile from here; you can shut yourself in your room and sob into your pillow in less than twenty minutes from now.

The fact comforts you enough to make you walk faster.

And also helps you ignore the pain that runs across your entire body when Yeonjun doesn’t even attempt to stop you.

You haven’t checked your phone in a while now but it has to have been over six am currently because you can hear your roommate moving around. Stealthily, you pull the comforter down from your face to peer into the dark room, only to hear a loud sigh echo around the place.

“You’re seriously still up?” Yuqi’s disappointed voice calls out. “The crying sounds stopped sometime after four so I reckoned you fell asleep.”

You wince in guilt. “Fuck, Yuqi, I’m so sorry I kept you awake—”

“Woah, what?”

She turns the lights on, suddenly brightening the room. Your roommate’s dressed in her cheer outfit, probably on her way to early morning practice. She is running for captain as well and the voting concludes in five days.

Cheer captain… Chaeyoung…

You can feel another bout of tears coming on, the back of your raw eyes stinging anew. Your head is pounding like someone’s cracked your skull open, but it still doesn't hold a candle to the ache that originates from your heart and makes your entire chest cave in on itself.

“Oh my God, babe, you look worse than you sound!”

You click your tongue and rub at your eyes. “I… Ugh, it’s been a weird night, Yuqi.”

She kneels beside you on the floor, face drawn in concern. “Are you okay?”

“I will be.” You try to sit up with her help. “I guess?”

“Oh, babe…” Yuqi sits next to you and draws you in an embrace. “What happened?”

“Y–Yeonjun,” you can barely articulate his name before your throat closes up again.

“Ah, man. What’d the idiot do this time?”

Yuqi has been your roommate and your closest friend since freshman year. Needless to say, she knows all about your friendship with Yeonjun and more than a little about your crush on him. She believes he’s too oblivious and doesn’t particularly like him for that reason. More often than not, you’re batting for his defense against Yuqi.

Right now, though, you feel like you’re gonna agree with every colorful word she uses for the guy.

So you tell her exactly what happened – give her a play by play of all the words said and reactions given, receiving hisses and grunts of annoyance in response, until you mention what he said about Changbin and Yuqi breaks your narration with a gasp.

“What the fuck?”

You just sigh and shrug a shoulder. “And he’s picking Chaeyoung to to wear his jersey for the most important season of his life, so I guess it’s whatever.”

“You know, it seemed to me like he was upset and acted out defensively… which would have been okay to a certain point, a misunderstanding that could be cleared out – had he not pulled that Changbin card. Why would he ask you to go after a teammate?” Yuqi tugs at the end of her ponytail in frustration. “And Chaeyoung? Literally the enemy? Now he's just an asshole.”

That last bit makes a small chuckle tumble out of you. “How… how is she, though? As a person?”

It’s so stupid of you to still attempt to look out for Yeonjun when he just dismissed your whole friendship. But you cannot help it.

“She’s… not a bad person, to be honest. As much as it pains me to admit.” Yuqi sighs. “She’s friends with the entire cheer team, friendly with the players, never been a bully to anybody. Hence why she’s running for captain alongside me.”

Should that comfort you? You believe it should. You warned your best friend about girls that might try to use him – and Chaeyoung sounds like she might not be that kind of a person. That’s good news, right?

So why does your heart seem to ache even more?

“Everything just...hurts, Yuqi. So much.” You tip your head against her shoulder. “What do I do?”

“Admit to yourself that you don’t just have aa crush on Yeonjun, for starters?”

You turn to look at her with surprised wide eyes. “What?”

Yuqi just rolls her eyes. “Come on, Y/N. You can’t move on if you don’t admit to it first, can you?”

Move on…?

Is that what you have to do now? Maybe. 

If you want to attempt to salvage any bit of your bond with Yeonjun, it’s best if you at least get rid of the affection that permeates the boundaries of platonic friendship.

“And then maybe text Changbin back,” Yuqi continues. “He’s their goalie. I’ve talked to him a couple of times, he’s nice. Kinda cute? If nothing else, he'll help take your mind off of Yeonjun and Chaeyoung.

You just exhale a deep breath. “Maybe.”

16:37 | changbin (: congratulations to yuqi! tell her i knew she would make it :D

↪ Haha thanks! Will do!

soooo our first match’s three days away kinda wanted to ask u something before that meet me at the lockers after practice today lol?

↪ Oh it’s Monday already right? ↪ I’ll see you at the lockers, sure! ↪ How does around 7 sound?

perfect~~ just like your eyes >.<

“Ew, man, ewww…”

You press your phone to your chest with a gasp, turning to glare at Yuqi. “Hey! It’s rude to read over someone’s shoulder!”

“No, what’s ruder is you not telling me how cringey this guy is!” Yuqi is very close to rolling on the floor, and you really can’t blame her. 

You’ve been texting back and forth with this Changbin guy for over a week now. He’s definitely nice and definitely more than a little cute, Yuqi didn’t lie to you. 

But – the way this dude flirts? Good God. 

Cringe must be an understatement. You have permanent goosebumps at this point because of how often you experience full body shivers out of the absolute secondhand embarrassment he has made you live through, every single day.

On the other hand, there's been radio silence between you and… him. Your best friend. His name sends a painful pang through your chest, so you've been avoiding even thinking about him. And Changbin's been a great distraction on that front.

That is not to say it has helped any feelings to blossom in your heart for the guy. His sweet but cringey self is a friend, at best. Your heart…is obviously elsewhere.

Things became so much clearer once you let yourself think everything over without any pressure and pretense, and admit to what you feel for your best friend, like Yuqi suggested.

Turns out you were wrong, after all. You really haven't succeeded at managing to stop yourself from falling further than a harmless crush for Yeonjun, because this constant hurt that has made home in your chest ever since he stopped talking to you? The wave of gloom that overtakes you whenever you so much as think about him? Surely a lot more harmful than what a crush warrants and surely surpassing best friend territory; by a leap.

The next step was attempting to move on with the help of Changbin, but that clearly fell flat on its face.

Exhaling a tired breath, you send a blushing emoticon back to the guy, and wonder why you're responding to his flirting when you know you've already failed and this is gonna end in tragedy.

“He sends you congratulations for making captain, by the way," you inform Yuqi when she's finally stopped giggling.

“Aw, did he say that was cool? As cool as your hair, maybe?”

You just groan and roll your eyes. “I’m gonna go see him tonight. He’ll probably offer me his jersey…”

That sobers Yuqi up. “Oh. So it’s time, huh? What’re you gonna tell him?”

You give her a wry smile. “What do you think?”

Understanding flashes across her face as Yuqi pats your shoulder in comfort with a sympathetic smile. “Well… At least you tried, yeah?”

Yeah… and failed spectacularly.

And are now hopelessly in love and helplessly heartbroken.

The locker rooms are nearly empty when you get there by seven. According to Changbin's text, he'll be there in the next five minutes and you are to wait by the rows immediately opposite the entrance to the bathrooms.

For a men's locker, the place is fairly clean and pleasant smelling. 

You're in the middle of inhaling a chest full of some citrusy fragrance when the pitter-patter of a feet reaches you – and then abruptly stops. The small gasp that meets your ears before you've even fully turned around is enough for you to recognise him. 

Why're you bumping into him here of all places?

He's been a ghost around the campus, as absent from your shared classes and the cafeteria as he is from your inbox – your life. 

But here he shows up – to catch you waiting for a guy he's always warned you against and only told you to accept when he was mad at you.

You're beginning to regret this whole thing you began with Changbin even though you're here to end it tonight.

Swallowing, you swerve on your heels to come face to face with a freshly showered Yeonjun, dressed in a fluffy hoodie and a pair of sweatpants. Your heart hammers against your ribcage, head filling up with thoughts of burying yourself in his embrace. His hair isn't fully dried yet, with some of it sticking to his forehead, but…what draws your attention is how gaunt and tired his face looks. 

There are large purple bags beneath his eyes and permanent frown lines around his lips. You're willing to bet this is not all due to the season's stress, because the last time you saw Yeonjun with dark circles was when you came down with a bad flu in high school and were bedridden for a week. He stayed by your side the whole time, despite both your mothers warning him about catching the infection, and barely slept.

You know it's a little unfair of you to think this way when you're the one that hurt him first, even if unintentionally, but you can't help wondering whether Yeonjun would still care if you caught a flu now. Would he even bother checking up on you, now that he's made it clear that he believes you don't think much of him and your friendship.

Does he still value you and your bond, despite the conclusions he's drawn about your feelings?

"What are you… oh."

Those are his first words to you in over a week, and the absolute disappointment on his face kinda makes up for the lack of verbal cues.

Your fists tighten on your sides, hating the way his eyes fill up with nonchalance and the way his lips purse. Why's he acting like he doesn't care? He should care!

But at the same time, you don't want him to think of you even worse than he has been. So you clear your throat and try to explain, "I've… I'm gonna clear things out with Changbin. Tell him I'm not interested so that he doesn't – he doesn't hope for anything more."

Yeonjun raises an eyebrow up, setting his jaw and lowering his eyelids. "You're good at that, aren't you? Ensuring that people aren't living with false hopes?"

Hearing his voice after so long fills your heart up with an emotion you're probably too inarticulate to explain. But his words, as snidely delivered as they are, confuse you. "What…?"

Rolling his eyes as if explaining himself to you is a waste of time for him, Yeonjun waves a hand in dismissal. "Nothing at all. He'll be heartbroken, though. Was really counting on you cheering for him. Are you absolutely sure you're not interested?"

His patronizing tone is a little too much for you, and even the lower pitch of voice he's using – one that you have always secretly fawned over – isn't able to curb your frustration. "Yes, Yeonjun, I'm sure. He'll live, he'll find someone else." And because you're beginning to feel irritated and jealous, you add, "If his second choice isn't Chaeyoung, that is."

You see the way a vein pops in his forehead and a sense of satisfaction runs through you at having struck a nerve. "Oh, so you've got words to say about Chaeyoung too, then? I thought you'd let her pass because she's famous enough by herself. Cheer vice captain, and all."

He's throwing you bait to rile you up, you know that – but you can't help the fiery fury that overtakes your senses either way.

Stalking up to him, you push a finger against Yeonjun's chest and glare into his wide, surprised eyes. "If you really think she's interested in you for you, go ahead and date her. Don't goad me into giving an opinion when you won't even care about it."

He brings a large hand up to wrap around yours, holding it tight in obvious anger. "Like you care about mine?"

"I'm literally here to say no to Changbin, Jjun! What the hell is your problem?" you yell out, pushing at his chest with your free hand – but to no avail because he holds your other wrist with his other hand as well.

"My problem is that you're saying no because you think this is beneath you!" he yells back, leaning from his towering form to bring his face to the same level as yours. "You think my girlfriends, my lifestyle – everything's beneath you!"

Your mouth falls open in utter shock because once again – this was never about him! "Yeonjun – no! For the last time, no, I don't think that! I don't think you're vain or unlikable, or that anything you do is beneath me, I just – I just fear someone will break your heart if you're not careful!"

"Is that so? You're not judgemental of the girls I date? Didn't you call Lea a – a puck bunny?"

"I didn't mean it like that!" you scream back and lean towards him, leaving barely inches between both of your fuming, frowning faces. "I was just getting metaphorical and, hell, maybe I was jealous because you've never asked me to cheer for—fuck…"

Panicked, you pull away from Yeonjun's loosened grasp, looking away from his raised eyebrows and open mouth.

You did not mean to say that. Not like this, not now… maybe never.

Face heating up like a damn furnace, you stumble away from your frozen best friend in a hurry. If he thought you were sabotaging your friendship before, he's going to absolutely hate you for harboring feelings for him. It's a blatant breach of his trust.

Shit, you should've begun to distance yourself when you first felt the tender tendrils of affection for the cutest fourteen year old guy you'd ever seen. You shouldn't have let those feelings fester – you shouldn't have let them grown into this beast that now stands to swallow your years' long friendship.

Tears prick your eyes, but there's no time to mourn right now – you need to get back to your dorm and bury yourself beneath a pillow before that.

But you've barely made it to the gates to the locker room when a firm hand grips your upper arm from behind and twirls you around. Back pressing into the wall, a gasp is torn from your chest when Yeonjun's huge, twinkling eyes cage you in. His arms resting on the wall next to you are completely unnecessary; you'd stand still through an apocalypse if he pinned you with this gaze of his.

"What…what do you mean you were jealous I never asked you?" he breathlessly questions, literal stars sparkling through his dark irises at you.

Now. If you were not adept at reading your best friend like a book, maybe you would have wondered if coming clean right now would make his eyes brighter or dim them instead. Maybe you would have debated whether lying your way out of this situation and apologizing later would be a good idea. Maybe you would have ducked from under his arms and made a run for it.

But because you have known this boy for more than seven years now, have observed every single expression of happiness and excitement that his face is capable of producing, have admired how adorable hope and anticipation looks on him – because you've loved him since the time you could barely even understand what love meant…you have no reason to doubt.

"I mean I wanted you to ask me, Jjunie. I wanted to be the one that'd be by your side, wearing your jersey and cheering from the stands for you," your voice comes out as a hoarse whisper, but Yeonjun clings onto every single word, given the stutters you can hear in his breathing. "I… I wanted you to look at me when you scored, point at me and tell everyone around us that…"

Your gaze flickers down his face, running across his nose to land on his parted, plump pair of lips. They spread a little to allow an airy chuckle to pass, and then form a wispy, questioning: "That?"

He's moved incredibly close to you, nearly touching your foreheads together and leaving an inch of space between your mouths. You look up into his eyes and they are hooded, spilling happiness, adoration but also something sincere.

"That," you rasp quietly, slowly in the small space between you, "that I'm your girl."

Yeonjun's exhale of minty toothpaste breath washes over your face, forehead tipping over yours and nose sliding against yours. When he speaks next, his lips brush the corner of your mouth and your body grows taut like a bowstring, ready to snap at the barest flick of his hands.

"Are you my girl?"

His voice has gotten incredibly lower and guttural and you just bring your hands up to clench into the fabric of his hoodie to ground yourself. Your eyes slide shut against the intensity of his own, breaths coming shorter and faster.

"I'd – I'd like to be. If…you'd have me?"

"Of fuck, baby, don't you know you've always owned me?"

You barely get a moment to process the term of endearment and the acceptance, let alone the actual depth and true implication of his words, when the softest pairs of lips you have ever felt brush against yours. Tentatively, so lightly that they almost tickle. Gasping in an exhale, you part your eyelids to find Yeonjun looking at you through a similarly shuttered gaze.

"Can I kiss you?" 

Oh God, oh God, oh God—

“Yes, please.”

The words have barely exited you before Yeonjun is erasing any remaining space between you completely by pressing his mouth fully against yours. His lips feel even more softer than they look, molding against yours like a pair of clouds. Combined exhales of relief leave the two of you, breathing just as in sync as your bodies are. Your hands move from his jacket to run across his broad shoulders and your fingers wrap around the back of his neck, pulling him impossibly closer.

As if waiting for you to do just that, Yeojun guides both his hands to your waist, bringing you closer to him, before one of them detours to run past your waist and down your thigh to hook around your knee. His mouth opens against yours, then, teeth biting into the flesh of your bottom lip. With a shuddering gasp, you hold onto him tighter and allow him to lick into your mouth, lost in the taste and feel of him.

His hand grips onto your leg to lift it from the ground and wrap it around his thigh, allowing him to slot his hips against yours perfectly. You can feel yourself spiraling, unable to form coherent thoughts beyond the heady rush of electricity that zaps through you with every pull of Yeonjun's lips. When you begin to grow breathless, his lips detach from yours to slip down your chin and press against your throat.

A mixture of gasp and whine escapes you, making his grip on you tighten and his lips turn bolder in their exploration of your neck. You feel his teeth scraping over your collarbone and shivers run through you, causing your back to arch and press further into his body. He groans against your skin and runs his hand up your leg to caress the delicate skin of your thigh.

You realise this is getting kind of out of hand because you've just confessed your feelings and you're still in the damn locker room, but your eyes can't help but clench shut as your fingers tug on his silky soft hair, silently asking him to keep going. 

But Yeonjun is far more in control of the situation than you are, given the way he turns his kisses from hungry to chaste, slowly. Pressing a closed mouth peck to your cheek, he rearranges his grip on you to pick you up with his hands beneath your thighs, and carries you to a bench. He sits down and drapes your legs over his own to make you straddle him, holding you firmly but softly in place.

He plants a soft, sweet kiss to your lips and rests his forehead against yours. Your eyelids part to the blurry sight of his shining eyes. It takes you a moment to realise you have tears in your eyes – and that he does as well.

With the softest smile that you have ever seen on him, Yeonjun brings a thumb up to your face and flicks at the corner of your eye.

"I've liked you ever since high school, you know?"

Your lashes flutter in fascination. "Really? But you never… you always…"

His cheeks grow pink when you scrunch your nose up instead of finishing the sentence, and he shuts his eyes. "You just never really showed any interest… You never looked jealous or bothered by my love life."

"I was being a good friend!" You chuckle when he rolls his eyes. "Besides, I had plenty to say about the girls you dated?"

He tucks a piece of your hair behind your ear, still looking at you with a soft gaze, but his lips have twitched into a devastating smirk. "But you never said I could date you instead."

A blast of heat flushes your entire face at his words. Remember when you said he never flirted with you and you were grateful for that? Yeah, you still stand by that. Your heart's racing so fast, it's a wonder it hasn't malfunctioned yet. Yeonjun reads your face, too, and pecks your nose with a giggle .

"I'm so sorry it took me so long to figure it out, baby," he then whispers to you, sounding so forlorn that the sound of his voice, especially with that pet name, makes you wanna cry again. "I should've realized you were jealous…"

"I'm sorry, too, Jjun," you whisper back, hands coming up to play with the drawstrings of his hoodie that your eyes focus on as well, suddenly hesitant to meet his open gaze. "I wasn't careful about my words and hurt you. I was a bad friend."

He chuckles at that, which draws your eyes back to his own again. "To be honest, I was more hurt because your words made me conclude that you would never like me back. So you literally don't have to apologize at all."

A smile blooms on your face. "Can I kiss it better, then?"

"Oh, you can always kiss it better, baby." Teeth flashing and eyes squinting, Yeonjun nuzzles into your neck, full of giggles that you mirror as well.

Right then, a call of your name resounds across the locker rooms.

Wait…

Fuck.

Changbin!

Yeonjun's wide eyes look at you with questions. You just sigh and shrug your shoulders.

"Back here, Bin!"

"Bin?" Yeonjun raises an eyebrow with his eyes narrowed, making you stifle a giggle.

"Should I try Binnie, then?" 

He gasps in outrage, threatening to bite into your cheek, while you lean away to escape him, still suppressing your laughter.

Footsteps echo across the hall before a gasp is heard at the end of the aisle you're seated next to. Changbin stands rooted to his place, mouth agape and eyes wide. You've corrected yourself in your seat, but – your seat's still kinda Yeonjun's lap.

"I… um?"

You purse your lips in apology. "I'm sorry, Bin. I can't accept your jersey."

"I… can see that, I guess…"

To his credit, Changbin doesn't look a lot upset. Just very confused. You decide to try and help him.

"I can, however, get you Song Yuqi's number if you want?"

Instant fireworks explode in his eyes. "What? The – the cheer captain, Song Yuqi?"

"Mm hm. Cheer captain, my friend, my roommate. You know, the one."

"Wow, Y/N, that'd be so cool, man! Thank you!"

And then Changbin's hopping his way out of there without another word. Yeonjun breaks into laughter the moment he's out of sight.

"Poor guy kept asking me if it was okay to approach you and I kept saying we're just friends. He must be so confused, right now…"

You look at the boy who's still cradling you in his lap. "So. We're not just friends anymore, I hope."

He tightens his grip around your waist, eyes doing that thing where they switch from being rounded to suddenly narrowed and intense. "That depends. Do you kiss your just friends like that?"

You nudge his nose with your own, heart thumping at the intensity of his dark eyes and the reality of your changing dynamics with him. "Only the ones I intend to do more with."

Yeonjun's eyes widen in surprise and then narrow further with mischief. "Is that so, baby? Well, how about I take you to a nice dinner date tonight and then we can discuss what more can happen later, hm?"

"I'd like that very, very much." Swallowing past the lump of emotions that suddenly lodges in your throat, you bite your bottom lip and smile. 

He smiles back, but then brings a thumb up to tug your lip free. "Don't bite your lip, baby. You've got me to do that for you, now."

And then he kisses you again.

© yeonboy 2023 // do not steal, copy or repost. respect your local content creators, kaythanks.

[yersina]

thinking abt steve n eddie and steve just. being a gentleman? all the bells and whistles, checks all the boxes—holds the door open, flowers, etc—and like sure, some of that comes from his upbringing and his family and The Harrington Status and whatever, but it’s also super clear that steve’s just. like that. like he’s so. so painfully happy to sweep nancy off her feet at the beginning of their relationship.

and like, the thing is. nancy doesn’t like that. i mean sure, she can be as charmed by it as the next girl, but i don’t think she necessarily wants it. she wants more than to just be treated like a girl, she’s been chased by guys all her life, and i think where steve feels like he’s treating her special, nancy feels like she’s being put into a box that she’s not meant to be in. they just… don’t match up in that way.

but eddie. eddie, who’s been shunned all his life in different ways for different reasons. i think eddie wants that special treatment. eddie deserves to be treated with gentleness and love, god fucking damn it. and i don’t think he ever expected to get it—esp if this is the 80’s.

so i imagine that at the beginning of their relationship, when they’re still kinda feeling things out and figuring out what their dynamic is, steve tries really really hard to just. like. treat eddie like one of the guys?? to make it obvious that eddie isn’t just some girl to him? that he knows that eddie’s different, and not just bc he’s a guy, and steve’s not just abt to pretend to ignore that. but steve’s relationship skills start and end with high school girls, so sooner or later i imagine that his romantic gestures have to turn to candle-lit dinners and chocolate and roses at some point.

and he’s kinda expecting eddie to poke fun at it or make fun of ‘king steve’ for thinking that he could… could woo eddie with a fucking bouquet of tiger lilies (that he bought bc he passed a florist and the flowers reminded him of eddie, alright?) all bc some wannabe prom queen would’ve eaten that shit up w a spoon. and eddie wouldn’t, probably. it’s exactly smth eddie would’ve made fun of him for when they were both in school. which is to say: steve almost aborts the whole thing and tosses the flowers in the trash and—he has a lot of second thoughts, okay? but then eddie is already coming out of the wheeler’s house, dnd materials packed away in the bag over his shoulder, and he’s already spotted the flowers and well, it’s too late now.

which actually works out, bc eddie seems to… like the flowers? he doesn’t exactly swoon like a victorian maiden, but he does blush a bit and smile and knock his shoulder into steve’s before he claims shotgun, much to dustin’s dismay. and when steve’s over at eddie’s place a few days later, they’re in a glass of water (literal drinking glass, maybe a mug, bc eddie munson sure as hell doesn’t own any vases) and, yknow, kinda wilted but still hanging in there, adding a pop of color to the place from the center of eddie’s dining table.

and steve doesn’t exactly have a lightbulb moment at that point, it’s not quite enough to spark the realization, but it does open the floodgates for more ‘traditionally’ romantic gestures. at one point steve opens a car door for him and eddie’s so confused but by god he loves it.

y’all. i just want eddie to be cradled w care and affection like he deserves.

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Cause and Effect

ok this is overdone i feel but i love your writing. something abkut the effects the sides have on themselves? virgil being super anxious and logan overwhelmed and similar things? something w janus? with a good portion of hurt comofrt? love your fics!! – anon

Hi! I love your writing so so so much. I do have a request for you, if you want it: Headcanon that Remus, being responsible for intrusive thoughts, is also responsible for any earworms Thomas gets. Which, he mostly uses to his advantage. Except. He unironically likes Taylor Swift and is terrified of that information getting out because it will ruin his image/he won’t be taken seriously. – anon

I hope you’re having a good week! I was wondering if I could request a hurt/comfort fic with one of the Sides being really bad about announcing/enforcing boundaries, because “it probably means more to them than it does to me” “it’s not that bad” “I can deal with it”. Thank you for considering!! – anon

Read on Ao3

Warnings: self-esteem issues, panic attacks, anxiety attacks

Pairings: dlampr, can be platonic or romantic you decide

Word Count: 2954

Patton doesn't always remember that he has feelings, too. Logan works…a lot. Virgil lives his life looking over his shoulder. Janus has gotten so good at lying to everyone that it's a wonder he even knows what the truth is himself. Remus wears shame like a badge of honor and the sweater he just can't manage to make himself throw away. Roman is tired. The Sides struggle. The Sides help each other.

Patton doesn't always remember that he has feelings, too.

He's at the center of Thomas's feelings, of course, and that means he's feeling a lot of things that aren't necessarily his all the time. Thomas is happy, he's happy. Thomas is sad, the entire world might be ending. Thomas is angry, he has to hide everything that looks even vaguely orange because something might explode. Thomas is depressed, he finds it hard to even get out of bed.

That extends to the Sides somewhat too; all of them experience heightened emotions, a wonderful by-product of being metaphysical and in the Mindscape. So that means that anything that might happen to them will happen in greater intensity than it would in the 'real world.' But sometimes that can be a little hard to handle, especially if they aren't used to it. For Roman, it looks like being stuck at the worst part of a tragic monologue for hours, for Logan, it looks like that one question on a test that you just can't answer, for Virgil, it's the quiet and unsettling feeling of having something just over your shoulder all the time, for Janus, it's the itch that you just can't scratch, for Remus, it's the noise that's just at the wrong frequency.

It's hard, it's hard for all of them, and so Patton takes it upon himself to help them through it. He takes Roman's hands and just holds them, trying to make him see that he doesn't have to perform, not now, not with him. He sits with Logan and they just talk, about nothing, about everything, until Logan can smile just a little and everything feels better. He puts a pair of headphones on Virgil and wraps him up in a weighted blanket, leaned against his chest. He spoils Janus with a spa day until their favorite snake is too tired to do anything but sleep. And he sings with Remus, as loud and off key as they can, until that's all they can hear.

It's good. It's fun. It's worth it to take care of his kiddos. But sometimes things we say when we're hurting can make other people hurt, and it's important to take care of that too.

Sometimes Patton forgets that. Sometimes he mumbles it's okay, they didn't mean it, through his own tears. Sometimes he has to go and be by himself for a while before he can come back and face them again. Sometimes he has to just…remind himself that they're hurting, and that's what's important.

That isn't true, of course, and when the rest of them find out, it's easy to see that they love him too. They play games until their sides hurt from laughing so much, they crowd around the kitchen to bake cookies and brownies and all manner of sweet treats, they watch movies and cuddle on the couch until they all fall asleep. And when he's upset, because he gets upset too, they all come into his room and tell him how much he means to them until the curtains turn blue again.

***

Logan works…a lot.

There is something to be said for how subtle yet pervasive the concept of Logic is. On first glance, one would associate it primarily with academics, math in particular, or some such thing that is so purely intellectual that it might seem limited in its application. When in reality, when you examine it further, there is some hint of Logic in just about everything that you do, and so there is no escape from the things that you must use it for in order to do it correctly.

Logan has a lot of work. Logan has a lot of work. He has so much work, in fact, that if he stopped to think about how much work he has, he would become so daunted by the prospect of staring at such a tall hill that he would never be able to conquer it. Best to deal with things one problem at a time, take them step by step, and make sure that he doesn't stop to consider the sheer magnitude of what he's doing.

Perhaps this isn't the healthiest way to go about it. Perhaps he would be better suited to breaking down things into more manageable hills, getting over them one step at a time, that sort of thing, but he has no time for that. In the time it would take to do that, the first of the manageable hills would already have become unmanageable by the time he got back to them. So this is how it must be, working and working and working until there is a big enough pause for him to catch his breath.

The others…are not fond of this. Surely, he accounts for enough time to spend with them, but it isn't easily won. It's fraught with the thoughts of what else he could be doing, a passing worry that he's missing something egregious, that he would be better suited to getting all of his work done before allowing himself a break. But that is not the nature of resting, that is the nature of rotting, even if Logan cannot actually give himself a break.

When they find out, they drag him away from his work and into the Imagination, into a library so full of wonder and curiosity that he has no choice but to stop thinking about his work and instead, chase the things he's actually interested in. He darts from bookshelf to bookshelf, peppering the others with did you know, did you know, did you know, and nothing they could say back will be as rewarding as seeing his eyes light up with excitement for the first time in…they can't remember how long it's been.

***

Virgil lives his life looking over his shoulder.

His existence is a constant struggle of did we remember to do this, did we forget this, what if this happens, this is going to go wrong, everything's going to explode in our faces. Every time they so much as leave the house, it's a war of keeping himself together just long enough to make it back so they don't have an embarrassing meltdown in the middle of…wherever they happen to be. The grocery store, the gym, even the fucking sidewalk. It's like walking through the world where there are big flashing neon signs everywhere he turns, each warning about something else awful and terrible, and yet somehow everyone else is able to completely ignore them.

It's terrifying.

And what's worse is that he knows if he so much as breathed a word of this to any of them, they wouldn't believe him. They'd do something like laugh and say he's just freaking out over nothing—which he knows, that's not doing anything to stop it from happening in the first place—or try and rationalize it out of him. Which won't work either, because he knows he's being irrational, that's why he's so mad about it in the first place, but realizing what's happening and being able to do something about it are two different things.

Being able to get himself grounded becomes more of a necessity than anything else. This big hoodie that lets him become an amorphous blob, the heavy things in his pockets he can squeeze when the temptation to break something gets too much, the headphones and earbuds he keeps stashed everywhere with the phone charger clipped to his belt because if he can't listen to music at a moment's notice, he might actually break down in tears. He has to keep himself alert, because if something's going to go wrong, he's going to need to notice it quickly so he can get everyone else on board and safe before it wrecks the rest of their lives.

And when he manages to shove that out of his mouth in an absolute mess of words, he's greeting not with laughs and teases, but with open arms and kind words. He's bundled into Remus's arms and Roman lies on top of them as Janus chuckles, hands carding through his hair to help silence the worst of the mumblings that something's going to go wrong. Logan takes his hand and squeezes it in the rhythm for breathing exercises as Patton sings something soft under his breath.

They're all in the same room. They're all safe. They're all going to be okay.

He can do this. He can do this.

He can do this.

***

Janus has gotten so good at lying to everyone that it's a wonder he even knows what the truth is himself.

Stories need antagonists. A narrative needs something to help it wind its way around all the twists and turns to make it into something worth following. If that means that the truth needs to be a little harder to find, that something needs to go a little wrong before it can be set to rights, well, he's happy to play the part. He's happy to thrill at the surprised looks he gets from the naive little heroes, the shock and betrayal on their faces when they realize he's tricked them, to cackle as they scramble to figure out what to do next.

He's equally thrilled to watch them squirm as he pokes and prods at their comfort zones. Challenging anyone who appears to be steadfast is endlessly entertaining, after all, and he can hardly blame himself when he's rewarded with such passionate monologues or fiery outbursts that end in grudging admittance that maybe he had a point all along. He's never been one to refrain from being smug, after all, and it would be a crime to deprive people of the right to see him in all his victorious glory.

Sometimes, though, that victory feels a little hollow. When it stops being a surprise and more of a resignation, when it's no longer something that they rise to meet but hunker down to grin and bear…when he wins, trouncing them soundly, and they take it on the chin and keep moving…that's not what this is for. He's here to make all of them feel a little something, even if it starts out badly, they should be proud of themselves when they outsmart him, out-think him, even when they don't win but they come close. He's a thorn in their side, not the sword that guts them before they have so much as a chance to say anything. And there's only so much fun that can be had toying with them before it feels like he's kicking a puppy for no reason.

He makes Roman cry once. He just stands there, staring at Janus, waiting for it to be over with tears streaming down his face. And when Janus stammers that yes, he's…he's done, Roman just leaves.

He doesn't want to just be the bad guy. He doesn't want them to think he doesn't care for them. He doesn't want them to be hurt, not…not in any way that actually matters.

He takes it on the chin, as he's seen them do, but it gets harder. Walking the line between fulfilling the role he's made for himself and actually being cruel is difficult, and tensions stretch further and further until one day, he can't do it and he has to retreat to his room and spend the rest of the day puzzling about how to fix this. He's never been the one to actually offer words of comfort. He's been there to lance infections from open wounds, not stitch them back together. He doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know what to believe anymore.

Roman comes to him first. Wraps him up in a hug and ignores all his babbling in favor of dragging him to their favorite picnic spot in the imagination. Everyone takes on a different role, just for that day, where Patton is the gardener that helps the baker, Logan, Roman and Remus are the woodcutters that build the cabins, Virgil is the blacksmith and Janus—Janus is the innkeeper. They spin a new story together, one where everyone gets a happy ending.

Stories end, after all, and new ones begin.

***

Remus wears shame like a badge of honor and the sweater he just can't manage to make himself throw away.

He delights in the uncomfortable, luxuriates in the madness, and happily dances along to the songs of the worst things you could ever imagine. His side of the Imagination is chaos and ruin, twisted undergrowth giving way to dark city scapes filled with ne'er-do-wells and the filth from stories that finally get their chance to steal the spotlight. He lovingly tends to his creatures that would send fainter hearts into shock, none more so than his beloved Kraken, Oliver. Shipwrecks litter the bottom of the Imagination's oceans and he couldn't be prouder.

For Remus, chaos is a way of life. He takes the things that normal people would scoff at—just as enthusiastically as he would scoff at them for being so boring—and makes it into art. He builds machines that are needlessly complicated and endlessly horrible. He turns perfect order into perfect disorder with a gleeful squeal. He's the bane of Logan and Roman's existences—one is affectionate, the other decidedly less so—and he steps into his bear traps with a grin on his face.

There are, of course, downsides. He's alone, a lot of the time. No one else really appreciates everything he does, all the hard work that goes into turning his world into the best it can be for him. Sure, they get close sometimes, like when there's an experiment and he and Logan get to go full mad-scientist, or when he and Janus are gleefully stirring all manner of shit up for everyone else, or when he and Roman throw literally everything they can at every sort of wall just to see what might stick. But when those times are over, and he's back to being the same old, messy Remus, he gets…lonely.

Especially when there's something that would make them think he's something else.

He's got a reputation. He's supposed to be dark, twisted, messy, chaotic, that sort of thing. He's annoying, the voices in your head that you just can't get to go away, the song that won't stop playing in your head at 2 in the morning when all you want to do is go to sleep.

He can't exactly expect them to believe him when he says the songs he wants to keep playing are something like…Taylor Swift.

He's got an image to maintain! And that image doesn't go well with, y'know…something like that. He's no stranger to other people's shame, but his own…well, he might get why people hate feeling it so much.

Roman, though, is his brother, and as such gets full rights to both tease him about things and find out whatever he wants to know. And Roman is his brother, which means that he loves him unconditionally. So maybe the two of them can sing along to Taylor Swift at 3 in the morning and if Roman takes the fall for being the one obsessed with her stuff, well, that's for them to know and Janus to find out when he figures out what Roman's lying about this time.

It's fine, they'll just make him listen to 'no body, no crime.' That song's right up his alley.

***

Roman is tired.

He's just…really tired.

Being the prince, being Thomas's Hopes and Dreams, his Creativity—well, half of it—trying to keep everything afloat…it's tiring.

The others don't know this—well, Remus might—but he's the main anchor point between Thomas and the Mindscape. They're all products of Thomas's imagination, which he uses his Creativity to make and interact with, which means that…them, the Mindscape, the Imagination, it's…well, he has to spend a lot of energy to keep it the way it is.

It's tiring.

So sometimes, he doesn't have it in him to play the role. Sometimes he can't focus on staying away long enough to do all the work they want him to do on top of all the stuff they don't know he's doing. And sometimes…sometimes it's just a little bit too much.

They find him on the floor of his room one night, just watching the moon. They gather blankets and pillows and stuffed animals and build a little nest, right there around him. Remus opens the door to the Imagination to lighten a little bit of the load and Logan helps Patton coax Thomas the rest of the way to sleep, letting them shift to the dreaming mind instead.

He's so tired. Surrounded by the others, with his mind at peace, he finally gets some rest.

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash  @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs@el-does-photography@princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv  @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance@whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti@ultrageekygirl@raven1508

[wonderneverlandsystem]

So yeah I can't for the life of me find a term. There is Apressexual but that is more like the exact opposite. And Fraysexual but that is the feelings going away after getting to know the person. My feelings for this person have never been sexual at all, so it's not that. And Boreasexual, which is similar, but it's not connected to experiencing other forms of attraction and it's centered on one specific person so that's not quite right either for me-

Sooooo. Idk how coming up with new terms/labels works but since I can't find one I decided; fuck it I guess I'll make it.

So-

Nectarsexual

Describes a person who usually experiences Sexual attraction/feelings, but when experiencing another type of attraction for someone (Platonic, Alterous, Romantic, etc.) they do not experience sexual attraction for that person.

I'ma use my situation as an example: I usually experience Sexual attraction/feelings towards people I find attractive, but (I believe) due to having Alterous feelings for this guy I know, I don't have Sexual feelings for him and don't wanna do anything Sexual with him, even though I find him incredibly attractive (physically and otherwise).

[Also as with most labels this works for other forms of attraction as well, so Nectarromantic, Nectarplatonic, etc. work too!]

As for why I chose this name; I feel like it is very contradictory to amatanormativity (idk if I spelt that right-). The "normal" and "correct" progression of feelings is that if you like someone, say romantically, then you *must* like them sexually as well, and especially vice versa.

1. Nectar is a sickly sweet drink given to deities that is said to grant immortality and heal. The name is to show that even though it's not "normal" (allo-) love, it is Just as powerful, Just as meaningful, and can be Just as everlasting.

2. Many deities (especially Greek and Roman) are a bunch of horn dogs and or big lovers (romantic). So I thought it would be ironic and funny.

3. In many old stories about Nectar it's said that if a human were to start drinking Nectar they wouldn't be able to stop. Again, I chose this name out of irony/condradiction. I think of it like this- And again I'm using my experiences as an example/metaphor, but this isn't necessarily gonna be the same for everyone.

In this example, imagine that Nectar, is sex.

I've always drunk, and still am drinking, Nectar. More frequently than most people do even, but when I think of him, look at him, am around him, etc. the Nectar gets diluted by water. There's still Nectar there. My cup will always have some amount of Nectar in it. But it tastes, feels, and smells almost as if it's just normal water, I don't even think of what's in the cup hardly ever when around him/thinking of him. And when I do look in the cup, when I get the occasional taste or whiff of Nectar in the water, I don't wanna drink it. In fact most of the time the thought of drinking from the cup while w/ him, makes me uncomfortable and grossed out.

I hope this all made sense (also if someone wants to make a flag that'd be cool as fuck- I may make one idk-)

-Much love, Jay B.

[adriabun]

angel this is your free pass ask to go ham about whatever’s on your mind w petyle. i am laying down, kicking my feet, and listening 👀

ive been sitting on this in my inbox for so long just trying to collect my thoughts and so many ppl have asked me that...now it is time.....ok

i think the thing i want to talk most about is the beginning of their relationship and what their relationship actually is ...like what about it is making me lose my marbles...i want to get all of this information out because as the ceo of petyle i need everyone to understand how they are characterised and how to correctly view their relationship. anything outside what i think is simply lies and flanderization..../hj.........

i typically default to college-age setting so thats what ill be centering on but my ideas of their dynamic can be malleable to other ages (canon, high school, post covid at a stretch etc)

pete has always been interested in kyle from a distance- theyve never really spoken, but after stan becomes a normie again after his goth stint michael points stan out at school like 'look at that conformist lol' and petes like 'yeah what a loser. also who the fuck is the guy in green.'

we've seen from basic cable where he has a crush on sophie that he isnt necessarily afraid of putting himself out there when hes interested in someone but hes kind of awkward about it. so he approaches kyle a couple of times to see what his deal is. this makes all the other goth kids INSANE like not in a negative way they r either in disbelief (michael, firkle) or think its hilarious (henrietta) that pete has a crush on kyle, he massively denies its a romantic thing tho bc hes not a gaywad...he just wants to know whats up with this guy and why hes so interesting

ngl kyle is probably suspicious or at least confused as why pete has started talking to him once hes over the initial weirdness he realises pete is kind of chill but the award palatable small talk hes trying to have with kyle is really annoying kyle def snaps at some point and asks him what the fuck pete is trying to gain out of this because its obvious hes not being himself.

pete is stubborn enough to not back down atp, hes not gonna let a conformist own him like that. so he starts being himself so much, to a degree where hes almost saying 'you wanted this, fine here you fucking go' in order to make kyle upset. but it doesnt work oh no!! kyle finds his goth eccentricities and pessimism so stupid thats its endearing!!!

nothing between them is inherently romantic or even entirely..friendly. more than anything they enjoy annoying each other in a constant loop of quips and rolled eyes. but theres just like.. something fiery underneath they wont address until they get wasted at a house party and let the alcohol do the talking

i have a habit of favouring either onesided petyle (on petes side ofc) or one that ends with a bad breakup because #stylesweep so a lot of my thoughts are biased towards that sort of ending. i just like relationship/situationship angst ok ...ive been there many times. a part of this angst is the idea that theyre each just 'the best they can get' in the moment. Pete's too internally self loathing to think kyle is actually in love with him or anything. theyre just having fun. its not serious. he refuses to think into any of it emotionally, though its kind of eating him up inside. meanwhile kyle is literally just taking it as it is. he feels a little guilty. he doesnt like pete like that (???) but he cant deny flirting and fooling around with him is fun. and also a distraction from stan getting back with wendy.

anyway thats what i have for now. let me know if anyone wants any more i guess. or any specifics about their actual relationship that i have bouncing around. idk!

[canned-pears]

Hello! In your aerith redesign post, you mentioned not liking aerith's portrayl in rebirth because of how she "jokes about romance all the time" as you put it. You also mention that you interpret her to be more disney princess coded. Can you elaborate on that? Just curious

Hi! I appreciate the ask! I figured i'll start this by stating that this is from my perspective and experience with ff7 as a whole, but when I first played the original, I envisioned her character differently from how the remake trilogy presents her.

I was under the impression that Aerith had a much more punkish feel to her character, but with pink bows slapped all over! This was communicated to me through her design (her iconic boots, puffed shoulders, etc.) and her overall straightforward, sometimes blunt, behavior. I love that she subverts the trope of being the cutesy character just because they wear pink y'know?

In the remake trilogy, her design is much softer, in almost every way LOL (her shoulder puffs? Gone. Her button dress? Gone. Her AIR VENT BANGS?!?! GONE! at least she retained the boots sksmfnk). Her personality is still very witty and charismatic, and they expanded upon the dialogue they had from og in a wonderful way! Her dialogue just has a different direction than I had initially anticipated (cute voice, lots of pep)

Her re trilogy version feels to me that her character's leans more in the direction of many classic shoujo protagonists, more specifically, magical girl shoujo! I grew up reading a lot of this content and if you understand how revolutionary shoujo (and josei) is , then you understand that they have some of the best writing & depictions of complex characters & character interactions. Many magical girl shoujo protags have this bursting optimism and emotional strength, and it's what allows for characters to move forward and have hope (sound familiar?). Aerith fits the bill imo. As for her being disney princesses-coded, I think the same can apply! Think of the little mermaid! She wants to go out and experience the world and although she is naive (bc she's young, inexperienced), she learns many lessons along the way and is unafraid to say what she wants. Ariel & Aerith (heehee) share that in common! There's also a parallel of sorts to tangled with the lantern rite in cosmo canyon in rebirth, and just figured I'd point that out lol.

As for the joking about romance part, I'll elaborate a bit more since it's likely not what u think.

When I say she jokes about romance a lot, I don't necessarily have a problem with her making those jokes or teasing/flirting w/ cloud. My problem actually lies more in that we only got to see her bond and joke around with cloud in general, not as much with the other part members (and those interactions w/ cloud just so happen to be focused on making things abt dates or romance). I guess I should be more specific on that front next time but yeah I like her teasing it's rly cute and funny but I guess I meant to say that I'm disappointed that most of her writing in rebirth centered around her bond with cloud, rather than with the others as much as I would've liked. I would've appreciated more moments between her and barret, yuffie, even vincent y'know? Her moments w/ tifa & red were awesome! Just imagine more one-on-one stuff between her and the others? It would have been really interesting.

At the cosmo canyon speech & at the temple of the ancients, she was speaking of how much she cares for the others, which is great! But I personally feel that we weren't really shown that. Of course, if you understand her character you would be like well duh, ofc she would care, but there's not harm in showing that y'know? It reinforces the impact of her words.

Also, romantic interactions are usually not what typically get me hooked on character dynamics, it's secondary to me in a way, so I think I just appreciate Aerith & Cloud's dynamic with romantic ambiguity because that way it highlights that their relationship wasn't JUST romantic-it was meaningful and symbolic in more ways than one! But ofc, this is just my opinion, so feel free to disagree

[yukidragon]

What would Jack act like when he is pushed to the edge and is mad, by the actions of his Sunshine. And what will act like when he is devastated or even having a break down, once again because of his Sunshine.

I think we get hints of how Jack behaves when frustrated in the “no” route. I don’t think Jack would necessarily get explosive with his anger, but more... unhinged. I think the energy would be similar to this classic picture Sauce posted on their twitter way back when.

As a quick reminder, please don’t repost images privately posted on the SnaccPop Studios Patreon. Sauce gave me the green light to use publicly posted images like these as long as I give credit. Respect and support your local artists, folks!

While I’m talking about supporting the original creator, I need to direct everyone to the Something’s Wrong with Sunny Day Jack kickstarter. There’s less than 48 hours left to go! Hurry before you lose your chance at the exclusive rewards, especially the physical prizes and the chance to direct an episode with one of the romantic leads!

Since I’m plugging links, why not check out my SDJ fanfics Sunshine in Hell and Sunshine in Another world? I’d love to hear what you think about my writing!

Now, back to the subject of Jack snapping.

Jack admits to being angry in the example above, but he doesn’t show an angry expression, does he. No, he instead acts more like a disappointed teacher... an unhinged disappointed teacher.

Let’s also look at this classic example of Jack being very... unhappy with someone.

Jack is caught in the characterization of Sunny Day Jack, and Sunny Day Jack would never just... snap. He’s always happy and cheerful, and whenever he’s unhappy he talks things through with the kids at home as a wise and kindly guiding teacher.

Jack might keep trying to wear a smile even when angry. His words come out more poisonous and cutting (pun not intended, but hey I never pass up a good pun). He knows what words a teacher can say to really cut someone so deep that they never recover.

While I’m looking at artwork whose canon nature is dubious at best and more is to get the sense of the spirit of Jack as it were... (Again, pun not intended, but hey I’m on a roll.) Let’s take a look at one of the first pictures of Jack ever made.

Naturally, the line Jack says in the upper part of the image proves that the story has changed since this picture was made. After all, MC doesn’t know who Sunny Day Jack is until after Jack comes into their life in the current game demo.

Given how important MC is to Jack, how he’s centered his entire existence around them due to how much he needs them... I imagine there would be a dissonance with the idea of feeling such a strong negative feeling towards the person who makes him feel love in a way no one else ever has. When a person experiences some form of cognitive dissonance, they need to find a resolution, and sometimes that can lead to... irrational justifications.

We all make mistakes, right? MC just made a mistake... and Jack is there to help them when they make mistakes. He can’t show his unpleasant, unappealing side to his sunshine. He needs to be whatever they want him to be. His very existence depends on it. Plus... he loves them so much. He wants them to be happy.

So Jack will likely try to figure out why his MC is causing him to be angry... and figure out a way to resolve it. Before it got to this point he would’ve tried to talk it through with them and be a guiding force in their life to help them not make the mistake again. After all, MC would never mean to make him angry, right? He didn’t do anything to deserve it. All Jack ever does is for their sake. All he wants is their love and warmth.

Sunny Day Jack isn’t unlovable like Joseph Cullman was.

I don’t think it’s likely Jack will explode into a yelling rage and breakdown crying... at least not while he still has options. Before that happens, I think his sanity will fray to the point of snapping first... and that’s when others will pay the price.

Angry has a time and a place. Jack prefers to be happy. Angry never solves anything. Jack is a problem solver. It’s why he’s there, to solve all of MC’s problems...

How Jack goes about “correcting” the behavior that made him mad, well... that depends on what MC did exactly... and who might have influenced them to behave that way.

If Jack can’t fix it no matter what he does... if he’s caught in the helplessness of his situation with a sunshine who just won’t stop making him feel angry and hopeless despite how much he loves them and wants to make them happy... Then I can see him finally having a breakdown.

It would be Jack with nothing left, not even hope, just a desperate plea in a ball of rage and despair begging MC to just tell him what they want him to do. Whatever it is, he will. Just, please, need him, and don’t forget him.

Jack just wants to love MC and for them to be happy. Why is that so hard?

Why can’t he be truly loved, even as Sunny Day Jack?

If you want to see a heartbreaking interpretation of Jack snapping at MC, I highly recommend this heartbreaking comic by my talented friend Meta. There’s even a video version dubbed by Jack’s official VA, NaughtyMaus that makes it even more of a punch to the heart.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars

[willowwhispersspeakeasy]

Could i request a thing where mc kisses the brothers on the cheek/forehead (like a platonic peck) and they're just "Oh are we dating now?"

demon bros vs MC's platonic kisses

warnings: gender neutral reader, they/he pronouns used for Asmo, fluffy with a little pining

(couldn't find I good gif so here's Monsta X rapline heh)

Lucifer

hes taken by surprise when you place a small peck on the center of his forehead. you matched just right where the jewel sits when he's in his demon form. his cheeks will warm and he will smile in satisfaction.

Lucifer won't necessarily take this with romantic intention, but he will take it as a stoke to his ego.

after pulling away from the peck you simply turn back and continue your homework.

"oh? is that all?" he purrs, teasing tone to his deep voice.

"that's your reward." you nod.

"reward?" he coos, raising a brow.

"yep. if you want another one you'll have to be a good boy." you tease him in return. he simply hums in amusement.

Mammon

Mammon’s whole body turns stiff when you place a quick kiss to his cheek. he will not be able to see this as NOT romantic unless you tell him otherwise. 

“oi! you can't just do that!” he shouts, face flushed red. 

“why not?” you quirked a brow, returning to your lunch as though you did nothing more then ruffle his hair. 

“b-because! your gunna... your gunna give me ideas-” he stutters, only embarrassing himself further. 

“ideas of what? you’re important to me Mams. just think of it as a thank you kiss.” you shrug, reaching out to give him a boop on the nose. 

Leviathan

are you trying to kill him? I really wouldn’t do this unless you mean it romantically because snake boy will not be able to understand. Levi can’t understand why you even like spending time with him, the idea of you showing him physical affection in the form of a kiss??? w h a t ?

Levi’s entire body is frozen when you place a gentle kiss to the top of his head. you’ve put him in fight or flight but he is to confused so instead his body chose freeze. 

“Levi?” you call to him, gently continuing to run your fingers through his purple hair. “...you’re going to die.” 

he squeaks as he focuses back on his game just in time to watch his avatar bite the dust. 

“damnit MC don't do that!” he whines, pouting at the fact he lost his game. you just laugh and rest your chin on his head, teasing him for all the inventory he dropped when he got killed. 

his heart is racing in his ears, trying desperately to swallow the lump in his throat. do you have any idea what you do to him? he can only gaslight himself into denial for so long. 

Satan

he’ll take it pretty well on the outside. inside however, his head is spinning and his heart is racing and he's both so desperate to pull you closer and kiss you this time but his judgment is far to clouded to tell if you'd want his lips on yours.

when you place your hand on his cheek farthest from you and pull his head to you, placing a kiss perfectly on the center of his cheek, he pauses. after you’ve already pulled away and taken another sip of your coffee you hear hip let out a small chuckle. 

“are you asking for attention?” he teases, lowing his book before closing it. 

“not really.” you shrugged, swirling your coffee cup absentmindedly. 

he falls silent again, looking down at the cover of his book. a few minuets pass and you’ve already moved on when you feel something warm and soft just behind your ear. 

as soon as you feel it its gone, and you turn to see Satan open and return to his book. the feeling of his lips on your skin linger and tinge in your mind. 

Asmodeus

Asmo will not read your kisses as romantic, at least not at first. they’re a cuddly sort anyway and often drape themselves around you like a shawl. often bombarding you with cheek kisses, brushing your hair with his fingers, and nuzzling their head against you. 

Asmo lets out a pleased ‘ta-da!’ when they walk out from their closet. he’s dressed in a cocktail dress, the fabric hugging his curves perfectly. 

you applaud the demon as he spins for you before sending you a wink. 

“you look so handsome Asmo!” you praise, standing and pretending to bow for him. he laughs as you take his hand, raising it to your lips and placing a kiss on the back of it. 

Asmo practically swoons as they pounce on you, cooing about how “princely” and “chivalrous” you can be. 

Beelzebub

Beel also will not take this as romantic. he’s quite accustomed to kisses as platonic affection, remembering Lilith and Belphie sitting on either side of him when he would have nightmares, the two younger angels giving him head pats and back rubs and cheek kisses to wrap him in comfort. 

but that was of course, a very long time ago. 

you ruffled the ginger’s hair before placing a peck to his forehead. he paused his chewing of the French fries you brought him, looking up from where he was seated on your bedroom floor. 

your heart practically melted at the big puppy eyes from the gentle demon. 

“...thank you MC. it means a lot to me you’re willing to stay up with me.” he leans his head against your hip, letting out a content sigh. 

“it’s okay Beel, I get nightmares too. back in the human world I was very well aquatinted with the 24hour burger joints near my hometown.” you laughed, recalling late nights with little sleep and lots of milkshakes. 

Belphagor 

Belphie’s not as kissy with his loved ones as he used to be. he loves his family sure, but his trust with them is still a little shaky. 

you pulled the sleepy demon’s head into your lap, otherwise leaving him undisturbed as he snoozed. you leaned down and placed a peck to the tip of his ear, before placing another on the side of his head. 

he wiggled a little in your lap, stiring from his nap. a sleepy voice called from where his face was squished against your thighs. 

“if you’re going to kiss me my lips are down here.” he teased before rolling onto his back and blinking up at you. you laughed while gently stroking his hair out of his eyes. after pulling his hair back you placed a third and final peck on his forehead. 

he huffed in fake annoyance before simply rolling back over. in only a moments time his breathing evened again as he fell back to sleep.

[halodbethyname]

Planets Through the Houses Part 1

FIRST HOUSE: (the house of self, self expression, personal viewpoint, initiave, life direction.) energy of planets here are felt strongly, being so close to the ascendant, which represents our personal perspective on the world. Planets in the first also have an affect on ones appearance, though this is more thoroughly explained by sign placement as well as house and planet placement) this is a quick post and ive never really done a big post like this before (my lil 8h mercury is shy about sharing my insights) but as i move into my first house profection year, this feels like a great place to start, so here we go!

🌞THE SUN: in the first house, the sun endows an individual w/ great personal ambition and prowess. These are naturally upbeat people, and give off a sense of wisdom regarding the themes of the sign of the first house (i.e. libra sun+ rising- relationships/partnerships). 1h suns are confident, with natural leadership skills, but should work to employ rational thought in their decision makin process. Planning ahead can maximize the possible gains denoted by this placement.

🌕THE MOON: keyword: emotional. But thats not necessarily a bad thing! Individuals w natal first house moon are very expressive about their emotions, and will make it clear how they feel about something. This is one person whose emotions you don’t have to guess, given other chart factors are favorable to self expression. These natives can have a heavy concern for their own personal interests and emotions. They are advised to watch their tongue with others, as quick words can be damaging, even if they feel true. There is increased passion and positivity with this placement, but the lesson remains to listen before one reacts. Natives tend to have a youthful, jolly disposition, and are quite beautiful. They can grab the attention of the public.

🫧MERCURY: the thinker. There are few better ways to encapsulate this placement in words. They can seem consumed with their own thoughts and ideas to others, even coming off as self centered at times. These people are intellectual, and known for the communication and technical skills. The lesson here is to learn to consider others opinions to build on one’s own perspective.

🪷VENUS: the pretty one. Venus in the first is remarked for their noticeable beauty and grace, and others tend to find them very attractive. Venus in the first loves adornment (jewelry, self beautification, finery/fine clothing) and even has a tendency sometimes to detriment itself to achieve these things. Venus in the first can be an overspender in the pursuit of aesthetics, natives of this placement are urged to start a budget and work within it, the longevity of your finances will greatly benefitted. These natives are also quite romance/partnership focused, and in relationships, should take care to make careful relationship decisions if they are looking for a long term relationship.venus in the first adds a level of impulsivity to romantic matters.

💥MARS: two words: HIGH energy. (Mars in taurus and pisces are still affected but it is stronger w/ other signs.) ambition and drive characterize these natives, and they can seem to always be active. Those w/ this placement are encouraged to employ stategic thinking and patience to their willpower, to minimize accidents and maximize potential! With mars placed and aspected well, this is considered a lucky placement.

🌟JUPITER: creativity and confidence can come naturally to this placement, and others are drawn to their optimism and joviality. They adapt well to almost any social situation, fitting into the biggest of pictures. These natives are abundant w opportunities for self expression, and may become enraptured by their hobbies. They are encouraged to explore these hobbies, find new ones, and if possible, do some world travel and extra-cultural exploration. Risks taken can be very positive for these natives. (Check other chart factors before adhering to that one😂)

🪐SATURN: the greater malefic, people tend to hesitate with wide eyes when saturn comes up, and for good reason. Saturn does not play around. Saturn in the first can endow an individual w/ many responsibilities at an early age. Saturn repesents limitations/structure one must overcome or work within, and thus being in the first house, a native may struggle with self expression and exerting personal boundaries. That is the lesson here however, and the flipside to saturn energy is that those who can integrate this energy healthily almost always benefit greatly from their hard work, which saturn rewards.

🌬URANUS: the individual. One is enouraged to actively define oneself. This placement can be somewhat of a loner, feeling most comfortable with their own opinions and like minded individuals, but is ENCOURAGED to go out into the world and find new people/experiences. Uranus is the planet of shock factor, and brings completely unforseen surprises both good and bad. Uranus in the first is encouraged to socialize and exert their personal energy, but advised to think carefully about the things they discard from their life, as they are often want to return. The natives are often seen as being ahead of their time, and very unique as people. Last but by far not least, one is encourage to open up their perspective, allow the opinions of others to color your own and broaden your ideas, one cannot revolutionize if one cannot grow.

🌊NEPTUNE: the sensitive one. Neptune in the first can spend a lot of time questioning their perspective and desires, and it is best for them (in most cases) to allow this development to occur naturally without attempts to force it. One is encouraged to take good care of their mental health, possibly with therapy, and explore their spritiual side. Meditation can be beneficial. This native has the opportunity to discover endless creative development in their own talents and skill. Natives to this placement are generally attractive, with an elusive quality about them that generates curiosity around them.

🌪PLUTO: these people have a notable intensity, in their gaze, in their presence, in their passion. Pluto in the first gives strong willpower to the native, inherent ability to achieve one’s goals. Natives may have had several or many formative experiences as a child that drastically shaped them today. With this in mind, pluto in the first is encouraged to direct this great willpower into personal gain, where it will be most beneficial, as there is a tendency to use it instead for manipulative/controlling purposes against others. Try to avoid this, the potential here for personal gain is grand if one keeps the power they have in check and perspective.

Alrighty so there’s my first post! Im thinking about either doing a post on the ascendant through different signs, ORRRR continuing in this vein and doing planets through the second house next, lmk in the comments what youd like to hear about, even if it isnt these two!!

[bondsmagii]

From watching Sherlock I never got the vibe that it was queerbaiting. Homophobic jokes aren't queerbaiting. I don't believe they implied that John and Sherlock would get together or that they courted gay fans by leading them on, they just made homophobic jokes about the characters' friendship and people tried to justify it to themselves that it was actually leading to something because the alternative is that it's just a homophobic show. But then again, that's just what I got from watching the show, I haven't seen any video essays about it.

I have absolutely got to disagree. listen, anyone who knows me knows that I am very strict about using terms that have Actual Concrete Meaning. I hate the way terms like "abuse", "gaslighting", "manipulation", "queerbaiting" etc have been co-opted to mean literally fucking everything that somebody doesn't like, and I only use the terms when I feel that this is literally hands-down what's going on. I went into all of the Sherlock video essays genuinely thinking that I was going to run across more "queerbaiting", i.e., the fandom being pissed that their OTP didn't get together, and taking a writing decision personally. essentially I assumed it would be the same deal as a majority of the "queerbaiting" dramas I see: the fandom mad because the show didn't pander to their every whim.

I was so fucking wrong. this is the dictionary definition of queerbaiting. the creators were 100% aware of the fandom and what was going on within it, and time after time they strung them along and then ridiculed them over everything from their theories, their enjoyment, and even for being invested in the show that you know, had a job to make viewers invested in. this was not just homophobic jokes. the homophobic jokes came during the time where the showrunners were actively ridiculing the fandom. before this, there were a lot of hints and teases and set-ups, where it looked like something might happen, and then it was turned into a joke -- not even a homophobic one, necessarily. for example, the scene where Sherlock is confessing something to John, and it's all intimate, and Sherlock looks so troubled, and the music swells, and Sherlock is like "I have something to tell you...", and every single part of the cinematography is coded as a personal, romantic confession... and then Sherlock is like "Sherlock is actually a girl's name lol" and that's it. you're mad if you think the showrunners weren't doing that deliberately, because they enjoyed stringing the fandom along and making fun of them for... everything, really.

finally, if you need any proof that this shit was malicious, please remember the entire episode that they dedicated to making fun of fan theories. literally the whole episode centered around this theme, to the extent that the episode featured a group of people dedicated to finding out how Sherlock survived. they were the same ages as the Sherlock fandom online, and repeated many of the same theories that could be found online. one of the group members even suggested that Sherlock and Moriarty had faked their deaths to run off together, and she was openly ridiculed on the show by the other group members. the episode even included Sherlock and Moriarty going in for a kiss, and the scene cutting off before they did it. it also featured a man coded as a crazy conspiracy theorist going mad and ripping down his It's Always Sunny-style wall of speculation and newspaper clippings and notes. the show was literally ridiculing the fandom for being too invested in the show that they had been told to get invested in. the showrunners had strung them along and promised them more, which they never delivered -- the queerbaiting was only part of it, but given the show's history with everything else, you cannot convince me that the queerbaiting was not intentional and malicious.

the homophobic jokes weren't the "queerbaiting". the homophobic jokes came after the queerbaiting, to really hammer home to the fans that they were stupid for ever hoping. this was genuinely some of the absolute worst creator treatment of fans I've ever seen, and if you're still unsure whether or not this was legit queerbaiting, I beg you to take an hour and watch some video essays on it. the general mistreatment of the fandom (and how terribly the show was put together to begin with) is covered very well in Sherlock Is Garbage, and Here’s Why, and the depth of the queerbaiting is covered in intense detail in Tumblr’s Greatest Conspiracy: The Story of TJLC.

[honeybeekao]

Top 10 enstars relationships (doesn't have to be romantic!)

im so glad i can draft ask responses because i cannot do this all in one go, im not that insane

1. madarei - who would've guessed! i know ive sorta defined myself with them, which wasnt intentional but i'm very very fond of characters who help eachother feel more human, and worthy of life. putting self sacrificial little gay people together is my favorite thing! they care too much about others it makes me lose it. i feel like the way madara can't not hate certain people contrasting with how rei can't not love certain people is interesting. i think the way they both retreat from connection because of how they view themselves as evil monsters is heartbreaking. they were both driven overseas at age 17 and grew up in weird situations. i think they deserve a break, both need more sleep and love, and they should also kiss probably

2. oh god here we go with the kaoru relationships chiakao - theyre so gay and stupid and oblivious are you Kidding me. chiaki's head over heels actually and kaoru has no idea. he also will not acknowledge how much he cares about this sunshine boy or why he feels the need to call him a sunshine boy and i feel like every pairing w kaoru is just trying to win kaoru over. get him to realize he also has a heart that beats a little too fast when in the same room as certain people. date plan is my favorite story is it obvious have i said this before idk i love kaoru so many people love kaoru Hey kaoru. there's a fic i really love where kaoru takes care of chiaki's wounds during 2nd year and it's so good. it establishes that chiaki is on his radar, but he wont acknowledge it and chiaki's just like 0_0 the entire time. i feel like kaoru's proud of him for how far he's come and that's probably a mutual feeling since they both changed a lot.

3. the oddballs - they make me sad catch me sobbing over the oddballs bot on twitter, their entire story is so aighdfgddgkxdg Flails hands in the air! kanata feels like the center to me despite rei's existence just because of how important the student council taking control of the fish cult is. taking lonely characters with extreme talent and skill n isolating them more is so evil and kanata specifically just???? adhhhghhghgghughh definitely appreciates and loves the others as dear friends, the beginning to him and shu's relationship is interesting to me of Course shu doesn't like him originally. but they have similarities in that they grew up with no friends, just one was praised and worshipped while the other was bullied. big difference there. also good lord my memory on everything with wataru is failing me right now just know i really like the oddballs. REI AND WATARU IN AQUARIUM MADE ME SO UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY.

4. reikao - are they popular and basic to some people? yeah. do i care? absolutely fucking not i love them, platonic or romantic it doesnt matter i really like them and i have a kaoru polycule rotating in my brain. i think the way rei gave kaoru the chances he needed to establish his identity as an idol is amazing and rei is soooo fond of him. so unbelievably fond of him <3 kaoru being able to get past his fear of commitment because his need to be helpful is stronger means everything to me, him helping rei out with leading undead. jzjfdjgkg loses my mind

5. crazy:b in general - theyre so dysfunctional i cant believe they manage to make it work. but at the same time i'm just incredibly fond of them. the way himeru sees kohaku as similar to kaname makes mecgkdhfhfh OUHGHHFFHHGG and the way kohaku does in a way reciprocate that brotherly affection. specifically loved when he was like "hey guys! listen t'himeru!!" rinne and niki are a disaster theres something so horribly silly about niki being at the center of madness constantly. poor guy. and it's not even that himeru and kohaku are necessarily disasters, it's just that rinne likes him most so he ends up the center of chaos. also he's the one working a normal job DGJDFJFDJ i think they all think too much and should voice their thoughts more, that'd solve many problems. im looking at rinne directly.

6. chiakana - ohhhh themmmmm the beloveds the angels i wanna cradle them in my arms. married couple but the happy married couple. i said this before but chiaki absolutely gets hurt constantly performing tricks, and kanata scolds him for not being careful and i think theyre best friends for life!!! i Love that chiaki teaches kanata so much and i love that like. chiaki meets this weird lonely guy and cares about him . chiaki has a big heart chiaki would risk drowning a million times to save kanata. THE LINE WHERE KANATA BECOMES RYUSEI BLUE MELTED MY HEART oigh ryuseitai OUHFJDHH also them hugging. that's all.

7. reikei - i try not to let them make me sad but if it happens it cant be helped... divorced </3 the way that rei still thought of keito as a childhood friend while keito was just overcome with jealousy Man keito has made a lot of mistakes in his life tjdjfjgjg my eloquence on this is so gone i think everything with deadmanz is a fucking nightmare rei im so sorry. i do think they can reconcile, like u say the enstars characters are really young and have an entire life ahead of them. i think about your reikei drabble when i think about them because it's cute and i love how you write keito

8. izukao - my friend got me into them Really fast, but then dance on ice ruined my life and now i need to see kaoru talk to izumi more. they constantly wanna impress eachother and kaoru is so casual with him it makes me lose it. the fact that izumi says kao's only redeeming quality is his looks? i dont believe you. you Gotta at least commend him for his dedication to u. i think kaoru's in love with him he just doesnt know it also i love their nicknames for eachother ALSO ADDING IN CHIAKI 3A trio my beloveds!!!! theyre disasters Ough. i love kaoru this entire post is just a lovepost to ksoru. he deserves so much love all these bitches love kaoru

9. narumika - Sidenote why is narumika the popular name and not aramika? is it because of the name naruchan and the fact she prefers that? it feels like a tododeku situation w inconsistent ship names but anyway awwwawwawaw theyre ride or die friends for life mika is arashi's poor little meow meow i forgot who said this to me but theyre So right. mika could do anything and arashi would not bat an eye, she'll support him til the end! the way she worries for mika's wellbeing is really sweet, and i think it's so good she's there for him. i'll admit i havent gotten too far as far as seeing/reading canon moments but know i will one day because im fond of them

10. rei and a forehead kiss goodnight

[yrbutchgf]

hey, i'm feeling a bit insecure in my identity rn and i was wondering if you have any... tips, or anything like that. i'm a lesbian who feels more comfortable in a masc role, and i think i would identify as butch... but i feel like i'm too emotional. i cry SO often. my mental health has been less than stellar for the last 10 years or so lol, so that plays a part, but i'm also just a crier. things that make me cry: criticism, heated discussions, presentations, movie/game/book endings, all music with violins, some music without violins, christmas commercials, those miniature food clay charms... literally everything. and it's always in public too, which is embarrassing enough as it is. and i know that doesn't have to mean anything for my gender identity, but the whole "boys/men don't cry" thing kind of did a number on me lol. i always feel like a little girl when others watch me cry, even though i want to be the protector. sorry for rambling, but i feel like you always have good takes on butchness and stuff like that, so i was wondering if you have any tips on feeling more secure in my butch/masc side :)

ok before i say anything else, thank you, i’m honestly really flattered you think that highly of my takes lol <3 i do try my best, i’m glad i’m able to help people to whatever extent i do with my posts. also, bit of a length warning -- i always set out with the intention of writing succinct responses to asks, but it always gets away from me, and this time "getting away from me" meant "turning into a manifesto." well, oops. c'est la butch/femme.

now to start this answer off: i definitely relate. i’m also pretty emotional. when i get stressed i get really shaky, especially in my hands, and then after that my body turns on the waterworks. i also have a fairly exuberant personality in general, and i'm very expressive with my hands & body language. the only times i’ve ever really fit the stoic archetype have been on accident, usually when i’ve felt uncomfortable in a social situation and it’s come off as strong silence. at the same time, i also don’t like when people see me cry or be emotional in general, especially in public. it makes me feel vulnerable in a way that i don’t like to give most people, and the fact that i can’t fully control when or if i do is uncomfortable. and i think disliking that feeling is totally normal, or at the very least it’s a common boundary to have. regardless of sexuality, gender, or presentation, there’s a social urge to cover up when we’re feeling our feelings, but even beyond that there is, i think, a reflexive, self-preservation level urge to cover up what can be easily damaged. so to an extent, i think it’s natural to shy away from vulnerability.

at the same time, the urge to push down one’s tears is not necessarily a HEALTHY urge, only a COMMON one, because you’re right: emotionality has no bearing on your gender or what roles you can take up. some of my best butch and masc friends are also extremely emotional people, and they’re very open about it, and in a lot of ways that openness almost feels to me more masculine or more butch, because they’re embracing their feelings, and that’s obviously a really hard thing to learn to do, so it’s powerful, admirable, and also to be honest, it’s attractive! the ability of someone to be brave enough to be vulnerable can in many situations make the people around them feel more at ease, and i think it can become a very steady, very stabilizing sort of masculinity. in other words, someone who is very comfortable in their tears is also very good and healing to be around. so i think in a lot of ways, when you learn to own your emotions rather than push them away, that can very easily augment your butchness rather than take away from it.

now obviously everyone views butch/femme differently, whether as genders/sexuality labels/dynamics/what have you, but for me no matter what at the center of these terms there is always this nexus, this core focus, of care. in the dynamic, butch/femme is about butches & femmes caring for one another in complementary ways both in- and out-side of romantic relationships. so when we talk about butchness standalone, you and many other people reach for words like “protector,” and i don’t think there’s anything necessarily wrong with that, i think protection can and often is a key role, but my point here is, where is that urge to protect coming from? it’s from love, from caring about the people you love. and i think it’s important to remember that and to frame it that way, because when you do, it becomes pretty simple: your emotionalism is more than anything a sign of that urge to care/protect/provide in you, or a driving force to those urges, however you want to frame it. far from taking away from your butchness, your emotions are at the very foundation of what it can be. i talked about this in the butch/femme server a bit, and thren @lesbiandaemon said it perfectly:

i genuinely think i (and many others!) would feel so much safety and security being w someone who allows themself to be vulnerable and earnest abt their emotions and it definitely augments butchness, from my perspective as a femme. i envy and care deeply for the butch whose emotions and vulnerability are on display, there's a strength in that imo, even if you've been made to feel self conscious and dysphoric and "less than" bc of that. i think of phrases like "the strength to remain tender", "the violence it took to be this gentle" in the lens of trauma but if that applies and you're ok w it, i think it could also apply here too [...]

whether ppl know it or not, sometimes the way one carries themselves can be projected onto others; there's already an example in how anon mentions the "big boys/men don't cry" thing, vulnerability being shut out and dismissed/disparaged isn't going to make anyone more eager/open abt their emotions. and like, going back to the butch/femme dynamic, it does feel so much more stable and steady if someone has the courage to acknowledge and let themselves feel their emotions, it's very welcoming and validating, knowing that someone can have a strong image and show their tenderness, knowing that you're safe and free from mockery/scorn to do the same when someone protective of you knows how it feels and will care for you because they feel touched to their core and have let you know in more than one way.

and i want to add an important caveat here: obviously not everyone who cares very deeply is going to be outwardly emotional or show it in the same ways. that’s true for all kinds of reasons. i think a lot of the stoicism we see in traditional depictions of butches can come from how people relate emotions to masculinity (that is to say, how people view masculinity as inherently based around a distance from one’s “softer” side), but also, honestly, i think this may also have roots in the historical coping mechanisms that a lot of butches took on in the face of a world that was unkind to them.

in stone butch blues, for example, there’s a lot of talk about this idea of “hard” versus “soft,” or “going stone,” especially when jess is first getting into the bar scene and she’s still fresh-faced to violence. and going stone in this context isn’t just about sexuality, it's also about how so many butches learned to stop letting people in even at a basic emotional level. for them, hardening up was an inevitability of circumstance, not an inherent facet of their personality or a building block of butch identity. i’m sure plenty of old-school butches would be glad to know it’s no longer inevitable or necessary for a butch to close themselves off completely in order to survive.

of course there are also plenty of butches who are just naturally reserved with their emotions, and that’s also fine -- that doesn’t mean they don’t feel things, or that they don’t care. they care -- all of us do! some of us showing it more or less than others doesn’t reflect badly on any of us, whether we’re of a more stoic or a more open variety. but some of us really can’t help showing it, and that’s okay. that’s just how the love spills out. the right person won’t see that as weakness or a crack in the fine china of your masculinity or whatever, they’ll see it as a lovely and endearing part of your whole and warming butchness. so embrace your emotions. do your best to honor the role they play in butch/femmeness. try to love your emotions, or at the very least not to be afraid of them. and remember: you are strong. your tenderness will not destroy you. in fact, it’s what built you to begin with.

[lissacmonster]

Wrong Place, Right Time

TMNT x (Gender Neutral) Reader (Non-romantic) Synopsis: Reader goes into an abandoned building to find their dog, and ends up finding a lot more than their dog. Rating: Teen Genre: Action/Thriller Pairings: None Content Warnings: The dog is in danger for some of it (but isn’t actually hurt) Other Tags: Funny, Combat, Short Story, Fanfiction, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Shredder

When you left your apartment that night, you had no way of knowing how unprepared you were for the events that would unfold. Armed with a flashlight and a roll of doggy bags you and your dog Cody had slipped out into the fresh, cool night air. You also brought a can of bear mace in case you ran into any creeps. Bear mace wouldn't have necessarily been your first choice, but it was leftover from the time you went camping and you wanted to put it to good use.

The dog was just happily sniffing around and relieving himself when he suddenly stiffened up. Following his gaze, your eyes landed on a cat. The cat was happily strutting across the street, unperturbed by the dog even as he began barking hatefully and straining against the leash. You held your grip and started pulling him back the way you had come. But he turned around, dug his heels in and managed to pull out of the collar.

The cat suddenly noticed it was in danger and darted around, looking for a place to hide. Cody followed the cat in circles around a parked car, then he chased it around the corner.

You ran after him, "Cody! Get back here!"

You were half angry, and half worried that he would run out into the street in front of a car. Instead, when you rounded the corner, he was wriggling his way into a boarded up building. His tail disappeared through the space in the boards just as you leapt forward to grab him.

"Cody! NO! Get back here, now!" You said, using your best angry parent voice.

But Cody was on a mission to find that cat. You knew that he would be single-minded until he found what he was looking for. It might have been admirable if you were coon hunting together out in the countryside, or something. Instead, it was annoying because you were on an evening walk in the middle of Manhattan.

You groaned in exasperation and looked up at the building. It was an old apartment building or something, a rough brick structure that was 5 stories high. The windows were mostly boarded up, and the ones that weren't were missing their glass. There were no lights on inside. It didn't look like anyone had been here for a long time. At least, nobody you wanted to run into...

And nobody you wanted your dog to run into either! Your protective instinct kicked in. You called through the hole to him for another 30 seconds. When he didn't reappear, you started looking around for a way in.

In the alley where you were standing, there were lots of bits of metal and you took a second to poke through them and find a good one. First you found a weird, 3-pronged dagger of some kind, which you tucked into your belt. Maybe you could use it for protection in case somebody dangerous was squatting in there. (Although, if you were being honest, you mostly kept it because you thought it looked cool.) Then you found a metal rod that seemed sturdy enough to work as a crowbar. In no time, you were squeezing through a gap you had made in the boards covering the doorway.

After clicking on your flashlight, you noticed that you were standing in an old lobby. There was a torn up spot on the floor where the front desk had obviously once been affixed. The wallpaper was peeling. The hardwood floors, which had probably been gorgeous when they were kept up, were covered in a thick layer of dust. Cobwebs were hanging in the corners and doorways, with their own gathering of dust.

You followed the sounds of Cody's feet skittering against the floors.

"Cody!" You whispered harshly, creeping towards him. If there were any questionable people around, you didn't want them hearing you guys. Luckily Cody wasn't raising hell yet, which told you that he must have lost track of the cat.

You spotted him at the end of a hallway.

"Cody, c'mere," You called, sweetly.

He looked you dead in the face and then turned and walked through a doorway into pitch black nothingness.

What. A. Brat.

Gazing down the stairway, you wanted to cry so bad. That damn dog had just run down into what must be the basement. You stood at the top, feeling sorry for yourself, trying to see down the steps. After a minute you realized that it wasn't actually pitch black. There was some kind of light that was dimly illuminating the bottom of the steps.

Gathering every last ounce of courage, you made your way down the steps. Every step creaked horribly, and with each one, you felt certain that your foot was about to sink through rotten wood. A dank smell invaded your nostrils more as you descended. How long did you have to breath black mold in before it would make you sick, anyway?

Once you reached the bottom of the stairs, you found that you were standing in a hallway. The floor here was even more dirty than the ground floor above. There was garbage piled all over the place. If anyone had ever squatted in this building, you were willing to bet that they'd done it here in this basement level.

A voice sounded from down the hallway. Your head snapped towards it in alarm, but after a few seconds it was clear it wasn't directed at you. It had come from a doorway at the very end of the hall which was slightly ajar, pale blue light spilling from it. You fought the urge to sprint back up the stairs and instead crept down the hall towards the voice. You tucked the metal rod into your belt and pulled out the strange dagger, ready to strike if someone suddenly rushed out at you. The voice was speaking again.

"...think you can defy me, turtles, but once again I've proven you wrong."

"You're not gonna get away with this, Shredder!" A second voice, female this time. She sounded scared. What were you walking into? You felt strangely numb as you continued to move forward, your heart pounding.

"I already have. Look at them! Once I have what I need, I'll dispose of you all," It was a deep, rich voice with a cold fury beneath.

"And then what? You took the mutagen out of our blood when we fought you years ago. So what could you possibly want with our blood this time?" Another male voice countered, sounding calm, but angry.

"Th-that's right! Our blood is free of mutagen, you can't use it to mutate anybody!" Another, nervous-sounding male voice agreed.

You reached the doorway and peered around the doorframe very slowly...

Within the room was some kind of makeshift laboratory. One bulb hung from the ceiling, casting the whole scene in harsh bright light. Several figures were visible in the large room. The first one that caught your attention was the huge figure in the center of the room. It looked like a man wearing a thick, heavy suit of strange armor. The armor had lots of sharp angles and spikes on it. You couldn't see anything else about him because he was silhouetted against the harshly-lit room. He was facing two figures who were lying on the floor.

One of the people on the floor was the woman. She had dark hair and eyes and was wearing a yellow jacket. Her hands were bound and she was glaring hatefully at the armored man. Next to her was another man. He wasn't talking, and he was lying very still... Was he ok? Or was he...?

You didn't finish that thought because you caught sight of four... somethings against the far wall.

They were... turtles, you guessed. But they weren't like any turtles you had ever seen. They were tall and buff with humanoid faces and bodies. Each was wearing a different colored mask, as well as various gear. They were strung up against the wall by lots and lots of chains. There was some kind of machinery connected to them, but it was hard to make out what it all was from this far away.

The spikey man- what had she called him? Shredder? He was speaking again, "I don't need to mutate anybody. All I need is your DNA, and I will have an unstoppable army."

"He's cracked, you guys," A new voice. It was gruff, and it came from the largest turtle, who was wearing a red mask.

"Oh no... I-I think I know what he's talking about!" The nervous voice was coming from the tallest one, in the purple mask, "He wants to clone us!"

"Is that true?!" The orange one finally spoke up, "Man, you can't make another Michelangelo! I'm the one and only!

"Stockman, how much longer before they're drained?" Shredder interrupted.

You nearly jumped out of your skin as an answer sounded out from very close to you.

"Another 2 hours, Mr. Shredder!"

"Why must it take so long?" Shredder asked, threateningly.

"W-well... We only had so much equipment..." Stockman defended, "I mean, there are ways of removing it faster, if you catch my drift. But if you want a clean, untainted sample, this is the best way to go!"

"Hmm... Very well." Shredder agreed after a moment.

You were now pressed against the wall just outside of the door, clutching your chest. That Stockman guy had been no more than 4 feet from you just inside the door! He was against the wall that you couldn't see, though, so you hadn't noticed him.

Stockman was talking again, more to himself, "Aw man... That cat got in again..."

A soft growling sounded from within the room. Oh god. Cody.

"What the..." Stockman started and then yelped, "HEY!"

His chair clattered to the ground as Cody's chorus of barks started up. You rushed back to the door and were frozen to the spot as you watched the scene unfold. It was utter chaos as Cody tore around the room after the cat, which was leaping around on the equipment and furniture. Cody managed to knock over 2 chairs, jump up on a table, and upset several important-looking instruments before he was caught around the neck by the monstrous man's hand. Cody's high-pitched cries snapped you out of it.

"STOP!" You hurled yourself forward. Everything in the room seemed to stop in time. All eyes settled on you and every face held surprise. Shredder's helmeted head turned towards you, observing as you sprinted toward him. You had the dagger drawn back with the intent to jam it into the metal of his stupid, shiney armor.

You didn't even feel it when he swatted you away like a fly. All you noticed was that suddenly you were flying backwards. You quickly sprung back to your feet. Your skin felt electric as adrenaline coursed through your body. There was a throbbing feeling in your face where he had struck you. The strange dagger had skittered out of your hands.

Cody was no longer in his grip, that was the good news. The bad news was that now you were getting an up close and personal look at this Shredder guy. You could see every facet of the armor from here. The most striking part was the helmet, which resembled a leering skull.

You wondered what his face looked like behind the helmet. Did he look as surprised as everyone else? His voice didn't betray any surprise, only amusement.

“Well, well, well, look what we have here... A new hero, come to save the world. Such a pity you’ll have to die."

You tried to keep your voice steady as you explained, “Look man, I don’t know what you’re talking about- I’m just here for my dog!”

"Really, turtles, is this weakling the only ally you have left?"

None of them answered. They were still staring at you and glancing at one another, like they were trying to figure out if they knew you from somewhere. This was getting awkward.

"No, really, I don't know them," You insisted.

"Is that so? Well, then, how do you explain that." He lifted one of his huge metallic arms. It took you a second to realize he was pointing at your shirt. You looked down and gasped.

Save The Turtles was emblazoned across your chest in bright green letters, complete with a cute little cartoon rendering of a turtle.

God damn it. Of course you had chosen to wear the shirt you got from that time you volunteered at the turtle sanctuary.

"Uh- that's-!"

Before you could explain it to him, Shredder cut you off, "ENOUGH! Stockman, restrain this fool."

"ME? I'm not here to be your muscle!" Stockman sounded indignant.

Shredder was just throwing out another line about how weak you looked, and that restraining you would hardly require "muscle," when you darted around him and over to the far corner where Cody was cowering. You had to climb around some equipment that seemed to be collecting blood from the turtles. You were uncomfortable being so close to them, as you had yet to discern whether they were friendly or not.

"Hey, that's my staff!"

You looked up at the turtle with the purple mask. He was peering down at you through glasses that made his eyes look 3 times bigger than they actually were.

You glared at him, "No, that's my dog!"

"No, I mean that thing on your belt!"

Was he talking about the metal rod?

"WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! DUCK, KID!" The one in the red mask was shouting.

You dropped instantly to the ground. A huge BANG! sounded from above and drywall rained down on you. There was a big piece of metal embedded in the wall where your head had just been. Cody scampered away, whimpering in fear.

"He's coming up behind you!"

You whirled around to find Shredder was advancing towards you. You glanced around for an escape, but you were boxed in by equipment.

Suddenly Shredder stopped dead in his tracks and whirled around. Stuck in his back was the dagger you had dropped. The girl in the yellow jacket was standing there, having plunged it into the battery pack on the back of his suit.

You stepped carefully out of the way of the equipment and cast around desperately for a way to help her.

"Quick! Use the staff!" The purple one called.

When you looked clueless, he clarified, "The thing on your belt!"

Oh, the rod! Great idea! You grabbed the rod, jumped on Shredder's back and started pummeling his helmeted head with the thing. This drew a chorus of complaints from the turtles.

"Aw MAN! C'mon, kid!"

"Duuuude, that's not funny! Kick his butt for real!"

Purple was fighting desperately to be heard over all the commotion. He sounded completely exasperated by this point, "No, I meant-! Press the button!"

What button? There were no buttons on the-! Oh, wait. There was a button on the rod. How had you missed that? You pressed your thumb down on small, red button. Instantly, both ends of the rod shot out, extending it by about 5 feet. In the process, it struck Shredder's helmet, launching it violently from the man's head. With a startled cry you toppled off of Shredder's back. The man rounded on you. You looked for the staff, but it had launched itself far out of reach.

"Now, I'm going to put an end to this little game," He said, and you could see the full extent of his fury on his face.

The four turtles were all shouting things and you couldn't make out any of it. All you could see was the hate in the man's eyes as he approached. His long black hair hung in his face untidily. He was panting and his lips were pulled back in an angry grimace. He looked like some kind of beast, like a lion, or like a...

"Bear!" You shouted suddenly. You tugged the bear mace out of the little pouch on your belt.

Shredder was towering over you now. He raised one of his bladed arms, poised to strike. Popping the top off, you raised the bear mace, pointed it at him, and pressed the switch.

Shredder was suddenly engulfed in a cloud of orange smoke. He roared and stumbled backwards. While he was distracted with that you scrambled to your feet. The woman was busy unlocking the chains that were trapping the turtles.

"Thanks, Angelcakes!" The one in orange said gratefully as he shrugged off all of the blood-collecting equipment.

He came over and stood next to you. You eyed him warily, but he was just looking at you with interest, "Hey, that was pretty rad how you stood up to Shredder like that! You pretty much ruled, even though you kinda-sorta... suck at fighting!"

Your pride had never been particularly tied to your fighting skills, so you just said, "Thanks. What's your name?"

"Michelangelo. But the ladies like to call me Mikey."

The two of you kept an eye on Shredder while the woman continued unlocking the turtles chains. You even sprayed a few more times in his direction when he got too close. Eventually he managed to rip the metal armor off of his hands so he could rub his burning eyes. Now he rounded on you again.

He looked truly out of his mind by this point, his blood red eyes were streaming and his face looked pinker than any face you had ever seen.

"Whoa... I think he's gonna-"

Before Mikey could finish, suddenly Shredder was charging at you. Mikey yanked you aside as someone barreled past you. The one with the red mask slammed into Shredder, colliding with him with the force of a refrigerator.

"Oh, shit! Is he ok??"

"You mean, Raphael? He's fine! He gets thrown into cars and stuff all the time," Mikey waved his hand dismissively.

Raphael rolled to his feet, pulling the dagger out of Shredder's back as he did so. He walked back to where you guys were standing, "Thanks for bringing one of my Sais, kid."

Things were kind of a blur from there. The turtles restrained the Shredder. The one with the blue mask was apparently the leader, and his name was Leonardo. He was on the phone with the chief of police. Wow... So your local police department was cool with these turtle ninjas? Who would have thought... Maybe your uncle's conspiracy theory about reptiles controlling the government wasn't totally crazy.

Donatello, the one with the purple mask, was attending to the man who had been lying on the ground when you came in. The man's name was Casey, and he wasn't dead as you had previously thought. He did have a pretty nasty concussion, though, and kept repeating the same phrases over and over (A common symptom with concussions, Donatello told you).

Don also took a look at your own injuries while he was at it. Your face was beginning to swell from where Shredder had struck you, and you would be sporting a nasty-looking bruise for a while. Other than that, you would be just fine.

After everything was said and done, and you had talked to the police, and Shredder had been loaded into an armored vehicle and hauled away, you and Cody were finally leaving to go home. You were back in the cool night air, walking your dog on his leash. You wondered if Cody would think twice about chasing a cat next time, or if the whole event had gone over his head? He definitely didn't look like he cared that he had just been in life-threatening danger.

Before you could ponder it much more, the brothers suddenly appeared around you.

"Heeeyyy, let us walk you home!" Leo offered aggressively.

"No, that's ok! You don't have to!" You really just wanted to be left alone now.

"We insist." The grin on Leo's face looked mostly threatening.

Leo threw his arm around your shoulder, as if to make sure you wouldn't run away, and started practically dragging you along.

They took you on the coolest shortcut you had ever been on. You scaled buildings and leapt across rooftops. It was just like in Assassin's Creed! Of course, they had to carry both you and Cody the whole way like a couple of carry-on bags.

When they set you down finally, you were in the alley next to your apartment building.

"Thanks guys," You said, "But how the hell did you find out where I lived?" You hadn't ever given them any directions.

"I have my ways..." Donatello said. He adjusted his glasses and they glinted dramatically like in an anime.

They were all kind of staring at you in a vaguely menacing way, "Uh... Are ya'll gonna... kill me because I know too much or something?"

"What the-! Of course not!" Donnie yelled.

"Hey, relax, buddy! We're not those kind of ninjas!" Mikey laughed, "That's not how we handle people who know too much!"

"Not any more, at least..." Raph said, narrowing his eyes at you, "The chief said it was too messy to keep covering it up."

You gulped nervously.

"Raph! Don't tell people things like that!" Leo shoved him and turned back to you, "Don't worry, he's joking. YOU'RE JOKING, RIGHT RAPH?"

"I'M JOKING. JESUS CHRIST!" Raph yelled back, "Just, don't go runnin' your mouth about us, aight?"

The leader in blue leaned in uncomfortably close to stare into your eyes, "If you say anything about us, we will come back to see you..."

"Aaaand PUNISH YOU," Mikey added, "In a gentle, non life-threatening way!"

You put up your arms defensively, "Trust me, I am not telling anyone that I fought some kind of terminator samurai to save my dog and some turtles."

You thought you saw a twitch at the corner of his mouth before he straightened up and lead his brothers away. They scaled the walls of the surrounding buildings with ease, and then they had vanished just like that.

============================

Will you ever see them again? Would you LIKE to see them again? I hope so because I have a lot of ideas for this series.

Thanks for reading, ya’ll. It’s the first story I have finished in ages and it feels good to be back.

[hoe-doroki]

passing the night stars

banner by @dymphnasprose​

warning: reader has social anxiety

pairing: shinsou x reader (platonic or romantic)

genre: hurt/comfort

wc: 3.2k

summary: The party was neon and you needed darkness.

a/n: this is a gift for my SiL’s birthday today! To any astronomy nerds: I tried and I’m sorry.

edit: I no longer write x reader but here’s my old masterlist - mobile | desktop

There was something to be said about distance.

It was a buffer, quieting every voice, external and internal, until the only one left was that of the crickets singing over the lo-fi spilling out of the house behind you. You’d stepped away from the party long enough ago that the playlist had started over many songs back—you had no clue how many anymore. The distance turned the music’s thrumming into a quiet melody, the lyrics just as indistinguishable up close as here in the backyard, sitting on patio furniture that rocked lopsidedly in the grass.

Any filter would do, though. Anything that could soften the world just a little around its loud, coarse edges. The ice in your peach-flavored hurricane melting so that the drink was a little less saccharine. The rum casting a film over your mood, keeping your loneliness from dropping you into total dolor. The slight late-night breeze blowing the smoke from the fire pit away from you so that the acrid smell was stronger on the hood of your black sweatshirt than the air. It all muddled your emotions, numbing the buzzing overwhelm of the party to an anxious hum. The party had been neon, and out here you had a bit more darkness.

Without these buffers absorbing some of the furor, you might have escaped the party hours ago. Snuck out while the thing was still in full thrall, before social anxiety could hiss over your bones. Got out while you were ahead. Instead, you’d lasted as long as you could before out to the backyard with the near-dead fire, wracked with guilt at the prospect of leaving without saying goodbye, while too nervous to actually draw the attention to yourself necessary to actually say goodbye.

That wasn’t to say you hadn’t held up for a good while, though. You’d hung out with your friends when the fire had just gotten started and then when the party had moved indoors for drinking games and edibles. You’d hovered on the border as your friends grew more interested in dancing in drunken delay to the somniferous lo-fi beat than conversation. Then the itching had started in your brain, and before you knew it, you were out here, social battery drained dry, waiting for an indefinite future in which you could find the energy to escape.

You shivered as footsteps swiped through the grass, crickets chirping at the intruder.

“Did I surprise you?” Shinsou asked, his voice deep from booze or smoke or both. Or, maybe he was just tired, you figured, as the harsh light of the fire sharpened the bags under his eyes into dark creases.

“Breeze,” you mumbled, goosebumps rising on your wrists, standing the fine hairs on end. Only a few licks of heat from the pit were touching your knees, leaving the rest of you cold in your threadbare sweatshirt as the fire shrank smaller and smaller.

Shinsou had a blanket in his arms, ratty and certainly stolen from the back of the living room couch. He blinked at you for a second before he asked, “Can I join you?”

His voice was deadpan. Between the two of you, there was no real vocal inflection to speak of. Still, you shrugged one shoulder and said, “Sure.”

You stiffened when, instead of choosing one of the many other patio chairs or foldable camping chairs forming a friendly circle around the fire, he joined you on your bench, tossing a bit of blanket over your knees. You hardly realized you were staring at him until he said, “You’re cold, right?”

“Oh, yeah, a little,” you said, tucking your knees up to your chin and curling the scrap of blanket around your arms.

The blanket was raggedy in your hands, pilled on the hem, but warm from being indoors with all the dancing bodies. Plus, clinging onto it, running your thumb over the uneven texture gave you something to focus on instead of Shinsou’s body so close to yours.

Your senses were tingling, raw at having someone nearby again. It was too soon—you still didn’t have anything to say, no defense for why you’d dropped off from the party without a word.

But, on the other hand, being alone wasn’t fixing you either. Parts of your brain were still coiled taut as compression springs, and while they weren’t getting any tighter, they weren’t quite loosening yet either. It was rest, not recovery.

Abruptly—was it abrupt, or were you that zoned out?—Shinsou touched the back of his hand to yours, nearly making you flinch as he furrowed his brows at you. “How long have you been out here?” he asked, shifting towards you and pushing more of the blanket into your lap.

“Oh, um—” maybe a half an hour, maybe more, “—not that long.”

For that flash of contact, his skin had been hot against yours, so you could only imagine how cold your hands had felt to him. Your icy drink was probably mostly to blame, but you were also suddenly aware of how your shoulders were hunched nearly to your ears, your arms clenched to your sides like your chest might warm them. You piled the blanket a little more over your knees and one shoulder, only the hand holding your drink poking out.

“Hard being on the fringes,” he mused as he took a sip from a can. Possibly seltzer, probably beer.

You mirrored, tasting your own drink. It was really mostly water by now, though you were sure it was still painting your tongue orange.

Shinsou’s situation wasn’t much different than yours. Everyone in that house was old classmates. Shinsou was too, but he’d come late. Not too late to be friends, but late enough that it mattered. You were even later—not a classmate, but a post-high school roommate. You’d both landed on the side of Kaminari’s friend group, but neither of you were the core of it. The heart of it. That, for reasons you couldn’t quite understand, was Bakugou.

For some reason, you and Shinsou had never talked about this before.

“Hard being in a group big enough for there to be a fringe.”

Because, of course, it wasn’t just the Bakusquad here today. The majority of the old 3-A was here, those who weren’t on duty or suffering with early morning duty tomorrow. Enough people to certainly cause a ruckus and maybe a noise complaint that even pro heroes wouldn’t get out of.

“Touché”

The two of you fell into silence, and you couldn’t help but wonder exactly what had drawn Shinsou from the party. Even if he didn’t feel he was the most popular guy in the room, you’d seen the way he had the ability to talk to everyone. You weren’t sure if it was a product of his quirk or what, but he was able to start a conversation with everyone he met. He didn’t seem shy or anxious in the least.

Then again, that was just what he presented. You knew from that what you put forth in public wasn’t necessarily in line with what you were feeling.

It was hard to be the introvert around a group like yours. Worse—it was noticeable. This wasn’t the first time you’d stumbled away from a party, mind half gone not on alcohol or weed but on the sudden assault of attention, loud voices, and talk of hero work. Being one of the only non-heroes in the room was exhausting, and maybe that’s why you’d had to escape. Or maybe there never was a reason, good or otherwise, and you were just here because of your stupid self.

“Clear night,” Shinsou commented, “Don’t get to see much of the stars in the city.”

You looked up, a bright spot in the center of your vision from where you’d been staring into the fire. Almost everyone in your group lived in the city, not too far from each other, depending on your definition of the word. But those with quirks better suited outside the city, like Tsuyu and Koda, had moved out of town post graduation, granting the rest of you access to a night in the suburbs like this.

The truth was, you hardly looked up at the sky in the city. Tourists were always looking up, eyes glinting off the skyscrapers and billboards. But natives were always looking down, too aware of the fact that other natives didn’t always clean up after their dogs and, with so little grass, the sidewalk often needed a close eye kept to it.

But here, it was pretty. Not the smog-stained brown you were used to, but deep blue and twinkling with infinite pinpricks.

“Mm,” you hummed, taking another sip of your watery drink. “You’re right.”

“There’s Cassiopeia,” he said, pointing just over the tree line.

You followed his finger, unsure quite of what you were looking at. The stars hardly looked like clusters to you, especially on a night like this where you could see so many. It was more a broad network of them, either all connected or all individual. All the stars or just a star.

“You know constellations?” you asked, ears latching onto something that finally wasn’t hero related. Truth be told, you probably knew less about stars than you did about hero work but it was less alienating. You could lean into it.

“Some,” he offered. “Cassiopeia is a basic one.”

“Where is it?”

Shinsou glanced at you, leaning in closer so that his finger could match your gaze. You shoulders knocked and you could feel his wild hair against your own. His finger traced down and up, down and up in a cockeyed W. “Cassiopeia, mother of Andromeda.”

“She’s a woman?”

It was any wonder that ancient people had looked into the night sky and seen things like rams and bulls, creating a whole woman out of a few diagonal lines. Still, you listened to Shinsou, his low voice rumbling into your tired bones as he began.

“A beautiful woman,” he answered. “In Greek myth, she thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world. Her boastfulness made Poseidon angry, so he created a sea monster that Andromeda was sacrificed to. Andromeda was left to await her fate when Perseus, who had just killed Medusa, used Medusa’s head to turn the sea monster to stone. After saving Andromeda, the two of them got married, and when they died, they both became constellations alongside Cassiopeia.”

Shinsou’s voice was husky and even as he told the story. The cadences were easy drops, landing you softly before he started up again with his next thought. It was a voice you could be rocked by, a voice you could be held by.

“Do you know where they are too?”

“Just below,” Shinsou said. “Probably come up just in time for the sun to make them invisible.”

“That’s too bad,” you said, curling deeper into the blanket, curling so that on shoulder leaned more onto the bench than the other. You head was almost resting on Shinsou’s shoulder and you could feel his warmth radiating in the cold night. “How do you know all this?”

Shinsou was quiet for a second and your nerves spiked again. You hadn’t even felt them relax, but suddenly your anxiety was scratching again, wondering if you’d misspoke. Or maybe you’d whispered it and he just hadn’t heard you? Before you could decide whether to say it again or apologize, though, he let out a sigh that jostled the blanket.

“Jack of all trades, master of none,” he said by way of explanation.

You cocked your head. Perhaps it was just a good hobby for an insomniac, but you were unsure about the evasiveness. “Did you have to learn a lot for general studies? Or to get in to U.A.?”

“…Yeah.”

You could only imagine. U.A. was an incredibly competitive school for heroes, but that was a specialized course. For general studies you didn’t need to have the physical prowess or the other particular skills that came with heroics, but you had to be an ace in school. It was no small feat to get into general studies, especially while you were trying to pursue something else. You were satisfied with that, ready to let it go and return to the near silence of the crickets and the fire popping, when Shinsou suddenly continued.

“When it looked like my plans to become a hero wouldn’t pan out,” Shinsou began, his words slow, tired, “my parents encouraged me into any and all other interests. None stuck.”

“Oh,” you said quietly, the personal admission taking you aback.

For all the times you’d seen Shinsou talk effortlessly with people in a room, you weren’t sure how personal or vulnerable you’d ever seen him. He seemed comfortable enough probing other people, but this was new. It made the space between you suddenly seem private—so different from the party you’d escaped from. You could still hear the ambient noises of a couple dozen people in there having a good time, but it was suddenly a world away.

“I’m sorry, Shinsou,” you said, brows furrowing as you glanced his eyes, still gazing up at the stars. His parents had probably thought they were being supportive, but it wasn’t the support he’d desired.

“It is what it is,” he said. “It worked out in the end.”

There was the smallest smile on his face at that, barely betraying what must have been true joy at having a dream slip through his fingers only to fly back to him. And he’d earned every bit of it, even if he wanted to keep it to himself.

“So now,” you began softly, “you just have a lot of little things that you can offer people. The little things you could have been. That’s not so bad, right?”

“No, it’s not so bad,” he agreed. “I always liked that story.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he said. “Japanese astronomy varies so much from region to region and is usually about more functional things. Harvest, seasons. But these other myths about people with no chance of being heroes becoming ones anyway…”

He trailed off, but the sentiment was there. Trapped in the things he’d done to try and leave heroism behind were little vestiges. The inescapable fact that he was meant to be a hero and would be one anyway, even if the world told him he was a villain, doomed for failure.

The stories had been true.

“Are you feeling better now?” he asked, surprising you.

“Feeling better?”

“You’d been out here for over an hour,” Shinsou stated. “Your eyes were glassy and distant and you were freezing and you didn’t seem to notice.”

“Oh,” you intoned. You hadn’t realized it had been that long. You were sure it had only been half that time.

“You don’t have to tell me anything,” he said. “I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay.”

“No, I’m fine,” you said truthfully. “I’m fine now.”

The anxiety from earlier that had been buzzing through you had kept you awake, all while thoroughly draining you. You’d hardly realized just how much until now, with your body not just feeling settled but heavy. The stress had run straight through you, and now you bore the fatigue.

Shinsou glanced down at you out of the corner of his eye. His brows raised and it lifted his whole face, making the dark circles under his eyes just a little less stark. “You look exhausted.”

“You always look exhausted,” you retorted, your first little grin curving along your lips.

In his surprise, Shinsou smiled too. “I know that. Here.”

Shinsou took your forgotten drink from your hand and set it down, then patted his shoulder.

“You should rest for a little while.”

Your eyes met his, searching for anything that looked like obligation or impatience. But there was none. Just a surprising amount of openness and a pretty shade of purple.

“Do you have more myths?”

Shinsou smiled and, once again, his gaze went up to the stars. As he started another tale, you snuggled onto his shoulder, the rest of your body drawing closer to his as well. He didn’t wait long to begin speaking, talking in more detail than he had before. There was no reason to be concerned that he might be boring you, or that you didn’t want to hear it. Really, these stories, these stars that had brought him even the tiniest speck of light were just what you needed too.

You weren’t sure when you fell asleep, and you weren’t sure when you woke up. But when you blinked your eyes awake, the first thing you noticed was that Cassiopeia hadn’t moved far. The second was the feeling of Shinsou’s head tilted against yours, his breath like gentle waves under you.

You shifted, signaling that you were awake, and Shinsou did too, his head lifting from yours. At some point, his arm had wrapped around you, encasing you in his warmth. He didn’t move it, not yet, as your body creaked and you forced yourself to sit up.

“How long?” you murmured, voice barely raspy with sleep.

“Not that long,” Shinsou answered, echoing your reply from earlier.

He didn’t look at his phone or a watch, and hadn’t since he’d come out, so you wondered if he had any clue. Or if it simply hadn’t felt long. Somehow, the idea that his time spent with you hadn’t felt long was a comfort, a relief.

“How are you feeling?”

You checked in, feeling that grogginess that always came in the wake of an intense mental episode. Your brain struggling to catch up and survey the backlash from its earlier antics. That would go away. It always did. “I’m good.”

Shinsou continued to look at you, switching between each eye, double checking your expression for any lie. But he must not have found any, for he leaned back into the bench and relaxed, that tiny ghost of a smile back on his face.

“I’m glad to hear that,” he said, gazing out again. “You out here alone before? It had been…well, we were…I wanted to check on you.”

For the first time, Shinsou looked almost a little shy, and you couldn’t help but smile, touched. You put a hand on the shoulder that had just taken your weight and brought his gaze back to you. “Thank you.”

There actually was one thing you knew about stars. You’d heard that every light year a star was away from you was a year into the past you were seeing its light. Looking at the stars was looking millions of years into the past. Despite the fact that these selfsame stars connected you to humans around the world today and those of old, that filter of distance and time rendered them ancient, if not already gone.

But as you looked at Shinsou, their soft, silvery starlight illuminating one side while the last dancing coals of the fire glowed on the other, you were sure that this was the opposite. This wasn’t old or past or known to anyone but the two of you. This wasn’t the stars or even the stories inspired by them.

This was just beginning.

[mister-langdon]

hi you can make a tate langdon alphabet fluff with the shy reader please

Tate Langdon x Shy Reader: Alphabet Fluff

(prompt made by @magical-warlock )

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Tate adores listening to music. Whether it be cradling them in his arms while they play with his hair, or kissing, he loves doing everything with music in the background.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Every feature. He adores every feature of his S.O., but he especially is fond of his lovers eyes and lips.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Gently, he would try and coax them out of it. Rubbing their back, petting their hair, trying to get them to talk. Eventually, if they began to cry, he would cry with them, and hold them close.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

If he hadn’t been stuck in the murder house, he would wish to run away with them after high school. Where to, it didn't matter, but to be with them forever, away from the pain of the town they lived.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Tate tends to be more domineering. In arguments or fights, he likes to take control, to combat the childhood he had.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Tate dislikes fighting, but he can be very stubborn. He hates to disagree, but doesn’t necessarily prevent it. After a while of him cooling down, eventually, he apologizes and wants to be with his S.O again.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

He greatly appreciates his S.O’s kindness towards him. Even though they’re shy, and more quiet, he still takes their gentle kindness gigantically. He loves it.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

At the beginning of the relationship, he doesn’t tell them anything. He’s just the next door neighbor who’s kind to the new person. But after they become close, he tells them everything. If they accept him, he will never keep a single secret.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Greatly! Tate, before his lover, was rude, self-centered, and generally violent. After finding love, he slowly changed to be more tender and passionate, and overcame his own mental illness and trauma.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Tate gets jealous extremely easily. Whether it be other ghosts in the house, or new house owners, he tends to get possessive. He would naturally handle it by fighting, but his lover coaxed him out of it, so he just pouts.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Though Tate isn’t experienced, he tends to be fairly decent at kissing. He tends to be passionate and tender, he wants his lovers touch.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

I feel he is poetic, and would get them a flower. Maybe a bouquet of uniquely colored flowers? He would try and make it beautiful, just like his lover.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

Since he’s dead, he has no interest in getting married. But if his S.O wanted, he would get them a promise ring to match the ring he has. It may have a small skull, or a raven on the head.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Tate would be interested in using many nicknames for his S.O. He would most likely use the classics, “babe, baby, my girl”, or if you were a boy, “my boy”. But he’d also call them names like “kitten” or “darling”. If it flustered them, he’d use it so often.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

The most noticeable difference is him being kinder, and more warm to be around. His S,O’s warmth is contagious for him, and he slowly becomes a better person, and lets go of his pain he’s been dealing with.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

The bragging he does is mostly to assert himself to anyone who talks to you. He can do a lot of PDA, to make others see he’s their partner.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

He plans the BEST Halloween dates.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

He is extremely creative with his romantic gestures. He tries to make things different, and unique, for example Violets black flower.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

It’s a bit hard for him to help, but with little goals, like schoolwork, or a talent, he’d support the, the whole way through.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Tate certainly does like to spice things up, but not too much. Too much change is exciting being a ghost, but he still wants the same old you. He loves you for who you are, and as long as you don’t change, he’ll be okay.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

He struggled with empathy in the beginning of the relationship, but after some time, learning and growing, he slowly became kind, and wanted to learn everything about his S.O. Now, he knows almost everything, and remembers every detail.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it worth in comparison to other things in their life?

Even if Tate had the world going on, you’d still be the most important thing to him. He values you above all, and he loves you more than anything.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

He writes little poetry for you. He thinks it’s stupid, but it’s actually kinda cute. It’s normally about the darkness of the world, and the brightness of you.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Tate tries to seem avoidant, to seem tough, but melts into any touch. And if he barely heard the word leave his partners mouth, he’d end up holding them and playing with their hair. So, yes, he loves it.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

He misses them even if they’re just out of the house. He’ll call, and text, and if they don’t reply, he’ll get a bit pouty. When you get home, he holds onto you and tells you that you’re his. He can be a bit possessive.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

He would kill for his lover, he loves them extraordinarily.