#we see these characters for ONE scene beforehand

[crispyjenkins]

right so i have over two thousand hours in skyrim now but only just completed the main questline for the first time and

y’all what the fuck was that

[astrxealis]

i will ignore ffvii until i play rebirth myself bcs just looking at art makes me want to cry (good) already

[foldingfittedsheets]

Since I already have established myself as a little pickle freak with no shame I have another extremely embarrassing story that will probably make you laugh.

When I started dating Brendan he was still living at home, but after we'd been dating a while he and his best friend Charlie decided to move in together. Another friend of theirs was looking for roommates and they decided to go for it. It was the lower level of a house.

Here's where I need to set the stage a little. Looking back on the time I spent in that space, I don't actually even know if it could have been nice under other circumstances. I feel almost pity for that house, full of young disgusting boys. Bare and wretched, it had minimal threadbare furniture, no decorations, and the guy who lived there already was hands down the most disgusting person I've ever met.

Not his character, but his habits. This boy's name was Josh. I genuinely don't know if their moving in with Josh was a handshake deal or if they saw the place beforehand. No sane person would ever have chosen to live there otherwise, I feel certain.

There was a kitchen. Sorta. But like. Was there a kitchen? Every counter, the whole sink, everything was just covered in dirty dishes. Brendan and Charlie said, "Josh, you need to do the dishes, we can't even wash anything cause it's so full of dirty dishes."

Josh's response to being asked to clean was to load all the dirty dishes onto a blanket. And then he dragged that blanket down the hall into the laundry room.

Crusted on residue, molding slimes, and horrible odors arose as he moved the blanket. After two months they said, "Josh, you can't just leave your dirty dishes on a blanket in the laundry room."

Josh's response was to drag the blanket of misery and miasmas into his room instead.

Josh didn't shower very much and he was a big guy. At one point I walked past his door when it opened. His girlfriend was crossing to the bathroom and I almost dry heaved directly in front of her. The smell of rotting foot, dried on sweat, and sex musk swirled together into the most eye watering assault my nose had ever faced.

So that's where our story takes place. A home of no hand towels, no soap by the bathroom sink, a blanket covered in months of early-twenties depression dishes.

I was meeting some of these people for the first time on the night of our story. Josh had a crew of two others guys who just hung around constantly. So it's me and five dudes hanging out, chatting, ignoring the various smell scapes to live in the moment. Josh left briefly to go pee.

Then I felt a stabbing in my guts. I shot a panicked look to Brendan and casually said I had to pee too. At that time in my life I was experiencing some of the most god awful IBS I've ever experienced. I knew I was going to make a crime scene in there. To my dismay there was no fan to turn on. But Brendan, like the champion partner he was, started telling a story at extremely high volume to cover the sound of my anus exploding under the force of my anxiety poops.

When I flushed and turned to the sink, I was dismayed. There was no soap. I looked around the bare bathroom and didn't see anything useful. No one had ever wanted to wash their hands here before. I then looked over the tub and spotted a tiny window that I wasn't tall enough to open. I wanted to let out the truly rank and terrible smell I had filled the bathroom with, but I had to give that up as impossible.

I slipped out and quietly said, "Hey, is there dish soap or something to wash my hands?"

"Oh," said one of Josh's friends, "There's a bar of soap by the window, let me grab it for you." This was not unreasonable, because again, I couldn't reach the window but I was doused in fear at the ridicule I was about to face.

He went to the door of the bathroom and literally staggered back from the unholy smell I'd left there. He had his arms up as if to protect his face from the malevolent beast my bowels had left behind. When he turned to us there was tears standing in his eyes.

In this house of awful smells and terrible hygiene, I was the stinkiest monster of all, bringing this boy to tears. I broke out in a sweat, ready to cry myself at the shame that was about to be cast upon me.

But instead. He said, "JOSH!"

"I can't believe you dude! Oh my god! That is the nastiest shit I've ever smelled!!" He waved the door frantically to dilute the awful power of my shit and then plowed through to open the window and air out the bathroom, passing me the soap. "I can't BELIEVE you had to go in there after him, oh my god, use the kitchen sink to wash your hands! It's gnarly!"

Everyone turned to rag on Josh for the newest addition to the gallery of smells in the house and he didn't look at me once. He laughed and pulled my shame onto his shoulders with grace, taking the bullet for me like a true hero. Only Brendan and I knew I was the stinky villain.

Josh never brought it up after, but I remain grateful to this day.

[astarion-obsessions]

Hold on, there is something I thought about. When Astarion approached Tav with "all his favourite lines" of flattery, leading to fake confessing his love to them, I was genuinely hurt to see that he would play with Tav's feelings like that, just for the sake of entertainment.

But now that their relationship progressed and Astarion actually confessed that he developed feelings for Tav, but still claims to not know how he would define their relationship, I get the feeling that he made the choice to fake confess beforehand for another reason than entertainment or seduction altogether. Hear me out.

Why does Astarion fake confess his love to Tav?

When I get a scene with Astarion, I always reload a thousand times to try out all the routes and see all his reactions, so what I'm about to break down will be no less than heartbreaking.

First let's take a look at what Astarion has to say. He starts the conversation with a clear goal in mind: he wants to seduce us again and he says so right away. He continues with very openly displaying his skills at charming people with honeyed words, seemingly enjoying himself while doing so. But what we have to keep in mind is that he's done that thousands and thousands of times already. I think it's safe to assume that he's perfected this mask of a smug, flirtatious man enjoying all this debauchery. 

But after giving us one suggestive line after another, he does something that does not match the tone of the conversation so far: his fake love confession. I mean, just look at him. 

He goes from completely exaggerated facial expressions and gestures: 

When I'm with you, I feel practically alive, yet I crave only to die again with you.

To this:

I love you

We get a closeup of his face and see that he gets serious all of a sudden despite the fact that the conversation has been all fun and flirty just a moment ago. He draws his brows together, tells Tav "I love you" and then just looks at us with this serious and almost sad expression. Completely different from before when he was just toying around. 

And yes, I just said he's very practiced in playing pretend, but just the difference between shallow and cheesy lines about craving to die together and their perfect body whispering temptation in contrast to a simple "I love you" and then on top of that the difference on how he conveys it - for me it just doesn't fit together, this isn’t Astarion pretending. And furthermore he gains nothing from adding this confession. The flirty lines would have been enough to seduce Tav once again and therefore ensure their attachment to him, so that his protection is granted. And that is all he wants, at least in the beginning. 

But then, why would he voice this fake confession in the first place? And that's where my theory sets in. I don't think he would risk the trouble of getting more feelings involved than necessary in his "nice simple plan" - seducing Tav, sleeping with them, manipulating their feelings. For doing so, he simply wouldn't need a love confession. 

With saying "How about I say those little words. Everyone's favourite" he already suggests that he's said them to a lot of people already. And this surely is a way to charm and seduce people very fast, but with Tav he doesn't need to rush. They're tied together for an indefinite amount of time, he doesn't need to seduce them in a matter of hours or days before serving them to his master. And he's already seduced Tav successfully before, so my guess is this:

My explanation for the fake confession

The real confession scene, where he admits to having started to genuinely feel something for Tav, came a bit out of nowhere for me. (And don't get me started with our options to react to his real confession. I talked about that here.) I don’t think he would just willingly tell Tav that he's grown fond of them, when a few nights before he threw the fake confession their way without giving a damn about Tav's feelings - that just felt very out of character for him in my opinion. 

But what if he started to fall in love with Tav even before the fake confession? Think about it, he has slept with Tav once - successfully seduced - so all he has to do is sustain this kind of relationship. Saying all his favourite lines at Tav and trying to get them to sleep with each other for a second time would have been just that - sustaining the relationship at present. But then he says "I love you". And I say he does so purposefully. It's a test. Having someone like you enough to sleep with you is one thing. Having deep and complex feelings like love involved is something else entirely. So he tests the waters with this confession. He hides behind all of these flirtatious lines and places the confession at their end to throw a veil over its real meaning. 

It may be a lie either way - saying it just for entertainment or saying it to see if Tav is open for deeper feelings - but I think he exaggerates on purpose to trigger a reaction that speaks for itself. Does Tav care about these words? Is Tav hurt to see that Astarion is apparently willing to play with their feelings like this? Or do they not care about such vanities? 

I want to emphasise the fact that Astarion hasn't had the luxury to allow himself anything resembling these kinds of feelings for at least two centuries. Naturally, he would not just come around and open up his heart to Tav when all he's done until then was charming them just for his plan. He would want to reassure himself that this wouldn't turn against him if he dares to show such great vulnerability in front of anyone. He says it himself when he properly confesses that it is intimidating for him to make decisions on his own again. And confessing his feelings is exactly one of those intimidating decisions.  

Interpreting Astarion's reaction

To back up my take I want to take a closer look at Astarion's reaction when we reject him after the fake confession. After he laughs the confession off in one way or the other, he insists on having sex with you again. Here he sticks to exaggerated facial expressions and gestures, just like before with his honeyed words.

Now, as much as I relish standing around and saying all my favourite lines at you, I’d much rather we got to experience each others’ full portfolio of talents once again.

But if Tav then turns him down with saying “I don’t think I really want this”, this is his immediate reaction:

Well, well, excuse me while I die of a broken heart.

He takes a few seconds to process what Tav said, and then instantly responds with another exaggeration accompanied by fitting gesticulation, ending with a fake smile. After that he just looks at Tav for another few seconds and his demeanor changes again:

In all honesty, it's a shame. That time was special to me. I've gotten on my back ten thousand times or more, and forgotten half of them. 

He loses his fake smile, averts his gaze and starts fumbling with his hands nervously. He can't hide his disappointment, but he tries to keep his face neutral - even if it doesn't work all too well. He tells us we were special before giving us a scrunched fake smile once again. It's really hard to watch…

But you… you I'll remember. 

For usually being rather quick to react and respond, we can see how difficult it is for him to react to Tav in this case.

Have a fine evening, dear. 

He pauses yet again, lifts his gaze to the sky and just looks so lost. Mere moments ago he was flirting and laughing, and now he seems so utterly desperate. And then, he can't even keep up his attempts of masking his sadness when his expression slips in the end and his face scrunches painfully for just a second before the whole scene ends. This really broke my heart.

Conclusion

This is definitely not the reaction of someone who was turned down for just another round of sex - even if this meant that Astarion's plan of assuring his safety didn't work out. Because then he could have just tried to get Tav to change their mind with another one of his favourite lines. Or he would have at least reacted like he does when you tell him to stay at the camp ("Oh darling, I'm hurt" which he obviously isn't). But he doesn't. 

Because this is the reaction of someone who dared to get his hopes up. Someone who thought that maybe, just maybe, these unwanted, complicated feelings for Tav which had slowly crept up, nullifying his nice simple plan, could genuinely lead to a relationship he didn't know he needed so desperately. Someone who is so devastated by a rejection at this point, that he doesn't even question it. He just accepts that Tav isn't interested in sleeping with him, let alone having feelings beyond sexual desire. It's just as it always has been. It's not as if Astarion remembers anyone caring about him, so why should it be different this time… 

And that's why I think this whole fake love confession was a way for Astarion to veil his growing feelings for Tav under the pretence of flirting, and had the purpose to find out if he could more or less safely confess his true feelings to Tav. 

Gods, this is so heartbreaking. I need to pat Astarion's fluffy head in my dreams as a redemption. 

[toji-sweetheart]

𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐜𝐤 | 𝐭. 𝐳𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

synopsis: Your best friend who is also in your book club drops something a bit darker than what the group is used to, but deep down you find that it triggers something for you and all you need is your husband's help.

wc: 8.5k

tags: 18+ ONLY content + explicit smut: minors and empty blogs DNI + she/her pronouns used + not beta read + my oc! characters + some angst? + cnc roleplay + rough sex + you smoke weed and drink wine but not before the scene + soft degradation with praise + toe sucking (you receiving) + size kink + he's taller than you + he's strong and can you manhandle you + sex toys + no part2 to this!

please note that I wrote this for myself and myself only so this is very self-indulgent! I had so much fun writing this!!! this is a repost that I did edit!

By now Toji knew the drill seeing that it was a tradition. 

You and a few friends would end up at your shared house with wine and a fruity paper-rolled joint each for everyone while talking about the book you all read over the last three weeks before meeting every Saturday at the end of the month to gush about the characters and plot. 

It was only once a month seeing that everyone had jobs and lives that demanded all of your attention and this was a way for you to finally relax and let go of all your responsibilities, forget everything, and laugh with your friends. 

There were only six of you, but mostly only three would come. 

“I’m not sure where to even begin with this book, the male main character to die for, Kaleb is dreamy, and the way he treats Anna makes me want to rip my hair out and eat it, I need a man like that, I hate you for that,” Mai whined as soon as she settled on the loveseat next to Amy. 

The four of you sat on your patio couch under the orange and red streaked sky as a warm summer breeze blew by bringing all the season's smells, someone's pool, a BBQ happening at the end of the road, and fresh-cut grass.

All eyes shifted to you as you poured a glass of sweet white wine. “What?” Your voice came out high-pitched knowing exactly why the other women were looking at you, because they knew you were living a main character lifestyle with your husband Toji. 

Hana whose job was to roll the joints sat next to you and elbowed you gently making you sputter on your wine. “We have no choice but to live vicariously through you and the books, but this one is maybe even something you haven’t done,” Mai told you with a silly grin as she grabbed her purse. 

You watched as she dug through the tote until she finally found what she was looking for. “Ah! So this book is on the darker side, and since it was my turn to choose I picked this one up for everyone.” She announced proudly handing out the books to everyone as her curly burnt orange hair fell in her face. 

Everyone looked at each other and then at Mai skeptically. “Dark how?” Amy asked skeptically once she helped finish the last joint, it was set up beforehand that everyone would get their own so there wasn’t a puff puff pass rule or anything like that and no one ended with burnt fingers or the joint going out. 

“Well,” Mai cleared her throat with a coy smile as she took the cherry-flavored joint and leaned back, “the male mc is obsessed with the female lead but they had an awful breakup and he doesn’t accept it so he breaks into their old shared apartment while she gets ready for a date and he fucks the life out of her then it follows the roller coaster of their relationship.” 

Silence filled the patio minus the soft breeze that blew by ruffling up the pages of the books that sat on the coffee table. “He just breaks in and fucks her?” Amy questioned with a scrunched-up nose, her skin glowing under the lamps that Mai hung up for you as she leaned in to look at Mai with incredulous eyes. 

Amy and Hana were pretty vanilla which is something you never hold against them but Mai will gladly let her freak flag fly and has not a problem with it, nor do you have an issue matching her freak. 

“She does want it at first, have you two never heard of dubious consent?” Mai shot back rolling her eyes as she tucked her slender legs under her glancing at you for backup. 

“Yes, it’s borderline noncon though Mai.” Amy sighed and tucked a piece of blonde hair behind her ear glancing at Hana and then you. 

You sighed not wanting to get in the middle of it. “How about we just read it and see?” Hana suggested surprising the rest of the group as she lit her joint. 

Amy wanted to scoff, you could see it in her eyes but she remained silent. “You know if you pulled that stick out of your ass you’d enjoy things more,” Mai told Amy pushing her buttons wanting to get a reaction out of the controlled woman. 

“Stop it. We only meet once a month and we’re going to fight over what our preferences are in bed? We are adult women with different wants and needs, so stop bristling her Mai, and Amy, I love you honey but you do need to relax a bit and I’m not saying you have to read it, do some reviews on it then see.” 

Mai looked at you conveying her thanks with a wet smooch on the cheek and a tight hug. “This is why we keep you around, you tell us how it is without being too much of a bitch.” She cooed playfully and took the lighter from Hana to light the end of her cherry-flavored joint. 

“Somehow I was dubbed the mother of the group when you are all older than me and I have no children, but maybe you three. Now thank Mommy.” You told them with a grin grabbing your strawberry-flavored joint and the new book settling it in your lap opening to the first chapter. 

Amy was the last one to grab the book after she looked up a few reviews dubbing it okay to read, the scent of marijuana lingered about relaxing your body further onto the patio couch as did the wine that made you giggle as you read the third page reminding you of Toji the other night who was teasing you.

Hana leaned over making sure that her page matched yours when her glassy eyes met yours. “What’s so funny?” She asked curiously as to why you were grinning as the male character was thinking about the female lead and envisioning her in front of him as he jerked off. 

“Nothing, just thinking of what my husband told me last night, he was something…he reminds me of this guy, Kaleb.” You hummed taking a sip of your wine and settling next to Hana resting your head on her shoulder. 

Mai made sure to slide a bookmark between the pages listening to you intently. “What did he say?” She asked wiggling her eyebrows with a grin. 

You rolled your eyes. “Just keep reading, we have an hour to finish a chapter or two and we got to call it a night, Toji will be home soon.” You told them excited for your husband's arrival earning collective head nods from your friends. 

“It’s almost like your husband doesn’t like us or something.” Mai sing-songed, her blue eyes almost shut as she laid back resting her head on Amy’s lap forging the reason that she was even here. 

“It’s not that, he just likes our alone time is all, and I love you three but Mai you yap way too much, Amy you’re so wound up sometimes, and Hana you are too quiet, he thinks you’re scared of him.” You hummed still following the lines on the paper. 

Hana’s jaw dropped as her face flushed red which you knew was partially due to her crushing on Toji, but it seemed like a lot of women do but you knew that your friends would never try to hurt you in any way and you were very comfortable and confident in your love and relationship with Toji. 

Mai and Amy shared a look before glancing at you. “I’m not scared of him but he is scary-looking, and he doesn’t smile unless you’re around,” Hana told you with a high-pitched giggle happy for you more than anything, the other women knew of your life before Toji and how he helped you flourish. 

You couldn’t help but feel a flush of warmth at that, your entire face burned as you hid it in between the pages of your book listening to your friends hoot and howl while teasing you about your teddybear husband. “You three need to start joining dating sites instead of focusing on fictional men you know.” 

“Says the only married one in our group who gets dicked down whenever she wants! Do you know the last time I got laid? If I open my legs you will hear my hips squeaking and I’m sure the spider that made a home there will be upset.” Mai cried as she tossed herself back on the patio couch with a whine. 

All of you busted out in a chorus of laughter as you squeezed Hana’s hand before leaning back with your almost-finished joint, the books were forgotten now as you all waited for Hana to roll another one while Amy refilled the wine glasses. “You sure did get lucky with Toji,” Hana told you with a soft smile.

“He’s not going to leave her so stop acting like it,” Mai told her friend with a warning look causing the air to shift from playful to something thicker with tension.

Hana rolled her eyes and excused herself to your kitchen to help Amy. “She wants your man, why is she still here if she wants to fuck him?” Mai asked with an irritated huff. You knew that she wanted only the best for you, she’s been your best friend since pre-school and Toji was her brother-in-law. 

You lit your second joint and rested your feet on the coffee table letting your eyes shift to the lights that twinkled and gently swayed with the wind knowing Mai was right in a way. “She can fantasize about him all she wants because I know I’m the only woman my husband wants.” You replied with a shrug. 

“Could never be me, if you wanted my man I’d break your kneecaps.” 

Her lips split in a wicked grin as she broke out into giggles. “Well, we both know that you don’t even like men that much, you’re into women.” 

Mai shrugged and pulled her phone out to show you a picture of someone's dating profile. “She’s very pretty, did you message her?” You asked scrolling through her pictures hoping your best friend finds the love she deserves. 

She snatched her phone back and shook her head. “Oh, no. I’m nervous too, this woman is way out of my league.” 

“Have you looked in the mirror lately? I promise you that she will want you and about Hana, leave her alone. I trust her fully and I know she’d never ever hurt me in that way, plus Toji would tell her to fuck off.” You told her with a shrug of your shoulders feeling your body melt further into the cushions. 

“How do you become so confident like that?” Mai asked batting her eyelashes as she placed both linked hands over her heart as she sat up and leaned in. 

You laughed and pushed her face away softly and gently so as not to hurt her just in time for Hana and Amy to join you two with new glasses of wine. “What’s so funny?” Hana asked, her curiosity sometimes got the best of her. 

Mai shook her head when the front door creaked open and then shut followed by Toji’s heavy footsteps into the kitchen where he saw the four of you huddled outside on the patio. His eyes instantly found you with a smile. 

All of the other women watched as you scrambled up off the couch to hurry inside and over to your husband wrapping him in a hug the best you could. “Smokin’ and drinkin’ are we? I’m in for it tonight.” Toji teased rubbing your shoulders then back keeping you close to him as he kissed the crown of your head. 

He knew that when you got a hold of either one or both that his dick wouldn’t have any rest, and your sexual appetite for him seemed to grow making you into a feral woman that wanted to mate with her lover over and over again. 

“They are so cute.” Hana sighed resting her chin in her palm as she watched you and Toji kiss and hold each other close while talking about your days. 

Mai rolled her eyes and cleaned up the table before gathering her stuff and leaving your book on the patio couch. “It’s time for us to go before she rips his clothes off.” She teased leading the other two into the kitchen causing you to pull away from Toji stammering when you got caught in a deep liplock. 

Amy was the first one to hug you and bid a goodnight followed by Hana then Mai. “I’m watching Hana, I’ll call you tomorrow. I love you!” She kissed your cheek then looked at Toji and rolled her eyes waving at him. 

Toji chuckled and made sure they all got to their cars safely from the front door as you stood behind him. “I’m so glad you’re home, I missed you so much.” You whispered standing up your tippy-toes to kiss him when he turned to shut the door and face you. 

His hands swooped down to your ass as you jumped up letting him hold you in his arms as you wrapped your legs around him the best you could while you bumped your nose against him inhaling his scent. “I missed you too baby.” 

You sighed in contentment and let him carry you straight to the bedroom where he lay on top of the blankets with a heavy sigh as you straddled him resting your hands on his broad shoulders and massaging the tense muscles. 

“What are you thinkin’ about darlin’?” He asked hooking his finger under your chin softly pulling your head up to meet his gaze. Years later he could still fill your belly with that soft tug of butterflies and make your heart clench like you were falling in love with him all over again. 

Toji tucked one hand behind his head to look at you as you moved down between his legs that he spread. “It was Mai’s turn to pick a book time and it’s very interesting, to say the least, but it gave me an idea.” You hummed with a slight slur as your fingers tugged his pants off tossing them on the floor. 

His eyes watched as your hands moved to remove his shirt and yours then your shorts then panties before settling on your side next to Toji leaving you both stark naked and skin to skin letting his heat fuse into you as you traced the tattoo of your name on his chest. “Idea?” He asked wanting to know more. 

You couldn’t look him in the eye even though he’s tasted every single inch of your skin. “So—promise not to laugh or anything?” You asked quietly and muffled feeling the weed and wine loosen your tongue. 

“Have I ever?” Toji questioned. 

“Fair point.” You mumbled. 

His fingers traced your spine as silence filled the bedroom for a moment. “The main male character is with the female lead and they broke up but he’s obsessed with her so when she breaks up with him he breaks into her apartment which they shared and he fucks her before her date.” 

“And…you want me to do that?” He asked raising an eyebrow and chuckling when you nodded your head that was stuffed between his ribs and arm when you rolled to your stomach feeling his hand travel further down to your ass. 

“Well, I want to do a roleplay of sorts, we pretend to break up in a public place to make it feel real then you follow me home.” You murmured finally picking your head up to look at him as your toes curled when his hand cupped your jaw gently leaning in to press a tender kiss to your head. 

Toji pulled away to trace your upper lip with his thumb gazing into your eyes intently making the air shrink around you both, everything else faded away as he talked in a low voice making your pussy wet. “So you want me to follow you home and break in and fuck you rough while you try and “fight” me off?” 

You nodded feeling your face heat up in embarrassment as you bit your bottom lip. “Yes, I trust you, and it’s something new. We’ve done a lot, but never something like that and it would be fun I think, also we will have a safe word in case something happens, but I give you my complete permission to be rough, call me sweet or dirty names, and use me as nothing but a toy.” 

Toji felt his blood simmer as he envisioned the many ways he could have you folded. “I agree, the safe word can be peach because you taste like one and smell like it too, also if we do it at a restaurant or something you can throw your water on me, I know that’s something you’ve always wanted to do to someone.” He leaned in stealing your breath with a deep kiss. 

“You are so trying to get sucked and fucked tonight, but I’m so sleepy.” You murmured with a soft giggle as Toji moved you both to cover you and him up with the comforter tucking you in his side and making sure you were resting your head on his chest letting his heartbeat lull you into a deep sleep. 

—----------

Morning came all too quickly. 

Sun filtered through the open curtains spilling into the room bathing it in a warm golden light waking you up and snuggling back in Toji’s arms. You knew that during the night you and him ended up back to back fighting for the covers, and then in the morning he pulled you back on his warm chest. 

“Good morning darlin’,” Toji murmured with a smile in his voice as he gave your ass a good squeeze making you squeal and roll out of his arms rolling your eyes playfully as you picked up his shirt from the floor pulling it on. 

Toji followed after you clad in his boxers sure to grab you again pulling you into his chest and kissing you before letting go watching as you started on the coffee while he pulled out leftovers for breakfast. “When do you want to do your little roleplay?” He asked heating the food as you made both cups. 

You hummed softly curling your toes. “I’m not sure, maybe next weekend? I need to read the book some more.” 

“I have it off and you’ll need to recover from Friday night.” He told you with a grin as you turned around to look at him with love and adoration. 

Both of you ate together, letting him feed you here and there before he went outside to work on the shed for the background while you cleaned up and joined him shortly after with your book curling up on the couch reaching for your joint from last night lighting it while leaning back picking up from your spot. 

Toji couldn’t help but glance at you, nearly cutting off a digit when you turned on your side which caused his shirt to slide up exposing the curve of your bare ass that caused his cock to swell forgetting the whole reason why he was out here, unbeknownst to you he stalked quietly up to you when you laid on your belly. 

Your eyes were trained intently on the words, you and Toji replacing the actions the characters were doing. Currently, the male lead was stalking his ex after the encounter, something he wasn’t able to forget but it seemed she could and that ignited him to go to plan B, kidnapping her. 

“Oh!” You gasped when you felt Toji slide his hands under your hips lifting high in the air and pushing the shirt down to pool at your head while he kneeled behind you kissing the curve of your ass making you moan and shudder feeling his tongue glide over your pussylips like a ghost. 

Toji spread your cheeks open pulling away to watch your holes clench simultaneously making him chuckle, he ran his finger up the seam of your pussy playing lightly with your slick entrance. “Read out loud sweetheart, you stop what you’re doing and I stop and I think we both don’t want that, do we?” 

“‘His Adam's apple bobbed as his eyes followed Anna, her hair swished back and forth mostly from her forgetting a hair tie this morning before her run. The black strands were just wrapped around his fist last night remembering how she sucked his cock—Toji!” You whined pushing back in his face panting. 

His tongue rimmed your cunt before sucking on your clit as his fingers massaged the fat of your ass pulling you closer trying to suffocate himself in your essence as you tried your best to stutter out another sentence feeling the tingles deep in your gut spreading into your veins making you hazy. 

Thick fingers slid inside your wet cunt with a loud squelch as Toji tongued your pussy while pumping in and out in quick succession moaning softly while feeling his cock throb and pulse at how good you tasted, like the sweetest candy he’s ever had. 

You gripped the couch cushion letting your eyes flutter shut as pleasure took over feeling your orgasm rise and crash over you while moaning your husband's name over and over like a soft prayer to your salvation. 

His addiction to you and yours to him made it hard to finish the rest of the book as you found yourself between his legs while he sat man-spread where you just were while gagging on the length of his dick, slurping and licking the tip before kissing your way down to his sack sucking on it gently. 

Toji felt like he was in heaven when you deepthroated him not breaking eye contact as his cock pulsed sending jets of thick and warm cum over your face when you pulled him out of your mouth letting him coat you in his essence. 

It didn’t take long for you to both get in the shower cleaning each other off before making your way into the kitchen for some lunch enjoying your days off before going to work tomorrow. 

======================================================

Each day passed by and you texted Mai, Hana, and Amy in your group chat asking if the four of you could meet up knowing the other two had left the bookclub and friend group. 

You wanted to tell them all about your dirty secret because it felt like you were heating up from the inside out and during work, you finished the book unable to help yourself. 

It wasn't something that happened often, only when the words pulled you in and between staying up after Toji went to bed knowing he’d want you to get some rest but it was difficult to put it down when you got to a good part. 

An hour after work you found yourself nestled next to Mai while you and her sat across from Hana and Amy sharing a plate of food. “So, I finished the book.” You announced with a small grin earning a collective gasp from them. 

“It’s only been three days! It’s a seven-hundred-and-something-page book!” Amy squealed gathering the attention of nearby tables, she apologized and sucked on her straw keeping her head down. 

Mai snorted with laughter and rolled her eyes. “I’m not surprised, let me guess you and Mr. Perfect are going to play something out in there?” She asked already knowing how the gears turn in your head. 

Hana’s face burned a bright pink as you told them in a pg-thirteen rating of what you and Toji had planned this weekend. “Are you going to break up in public? What if someone you know sees?” She questioned. 

“It’s none of their business even if they do, and again it sounds like you want them to break up. You do know that is her husband?” Mai shot back glaring at Hana who sputtered as all three of you looked at her. 

She nodded her head and blushed, her creamy complexion was a dark red. “I don’t mean it like that, I don’t want people to start rumors. You know how people can be.” Hana defended herself before taking a sip of her drink. 

Mai glanced at you with a skeptical look on her face and a slight I told you so when Amy cleared her throat. You leaned in to gaze at Hana. “I don’t care if they do or not, and I don’t know why you care so much. I hope you know that Toji would never break out vows nor does he even like you like that.” 

“I don’t want him! I want you!” Hana cried out, her hazel eyes were wild as they widened when her mind caught up with what she just said out loud. 

Mai’s jaw dropped as she tried to process the bomb Hana dropped. “Is that why you stared at her when she was wearing shorts? You want to fuck her!?” She asked and threw her head back howling with laughter at the situation. 

You sat there letting the news sink in for a moment unsure how to respond. “I—I got to go home, I’ll see you later.” Everyone watched as you scrambled out of the booth and to your car all but peeling out of the parking lot to go home. 

Toji was sprawled out on the couch when you slipped inside the living room setting your purse down. “Hana wants to fuck me.” His head snapped toward you as you stood by the couch looking back at him. 

The look on his face as he took in everything made you wince as you sat next to him. “Did she say that?” He asked cocking an eyebrow while taking hold of your hand and kissing it gently. 

“She did, Mai thought she wanted you but she blurted it out tonight that she wants me….and how am I supposed to take that?” You asked exasperated. 

To be honest you weren’t sure if it was better if she liked your husband. 

“I don’t blame her, but I don’t share, and trust me I already had a few coworkers who had their lips busted for even joking about sharing you.” 

Your mouth opened as you stared at your husband playfully slapping and shoving his shoulder, but the mountain of a man barely even moved. “Is that why you came home with sore knuckles?” You asked moving to curl in his lap. 

Toji wrapped you in a tight hug kissing the top of your head. “You’re my baby, I ain’t goin’ to let anyone talk about you like that, but me.” He husked kissing your jaw when you tilted your head up, his tongue tracing down your neck where he sucked on the soft flesh heating your body. 

“My sweet slut who will do anything for her husband, won’t you?” Toji cooed in your ear as his fingers played with the hem of your shirt making you shiver when his tongue traced the shell before nipping the lobe softly making you cry out as you bucked your hips rubbing against his bulge with a moan. 

His words made your face burn with want and you knew Toji would never mean anything of that, he knew what you liked and he wanted to keep you happy. You nodded looking at him with low-lidded eyes as you moved to kneel between his legs palming his bulge before rubbing your face against it. 

The soft material of his sweatpants felt nice against your cheek while you hooked one finger into the band of his pants and boxers to tug it down revealing his cock that slapped against his stomach, heavy and taut. 

He smelled like musk with a hint of sweat and all male, potent too. 

It made your mouth water as you wrapped your finger around the thick shaft unable to touch your tips. “I love seeing you on your knees for me.” Toji groaned watching you while he spread his legs wider to make more room for you. 

You rose on your knees and leaned in to kiss the sticky tip of his cock lapping up the pre-cum that reminded you of a pearl, shimmery and a creamy white that tasted like Toji urging you to suck more of him into your mouth hollowing your cheeks out making sure to pleasure your husband the best you can. 

His head laid back on the back of the couch hearing you gag wetly around his length that choked you when you reached as far as you could go. Your eyes stung with tears as you stuffed more of him feeling your spit bubble thickly around the corner of your lips that dripped down his cock making a mess. 

Toji wanted to see you with a mouthful of his dick so he sat up a little more to look down at you through dark lashes as you jerked off the rest that you weren’t drooling on. “So pretty ‘f me like that, my cute cocksleeve.” 

You moaned letting your eyes flutter shut when you felt Toji slip his hands under your armpits to lift you with ease pulling his cock free from your mouth with a wet pop. “What are you doing?!” You squealed as he laid you on the couch. 

“I’m going to fuck you.” He answered like it was self-explanatory. 

Your mouth opened then closed when you felt your cunt clench around nothing, his fingers danced over your slick heat before using it to lube up his dick. Toji gripped the base of it softly slapping it against your pussy with a smirk watching your face screw up and pout when he barely thrust halfway in. 

With your legs spread obscenely wide Toji pushed them further back until your knees were almost touching your ears as he gripped the back of your thigh huffing and puffing as your warm and wet heat sucked him in. 

He dropped down on his elbows grazing his lips against yours mingling your breaths together as he kissed you deeply, one hand slid under your head and the other went under your ass giving a cheek a soft squeeze as he slowly stroked in and out of you making your head hazy and body soft as putty. 

Toji knew the right spots to hit and what to do to make you cream, so his thumb skated along your hip and soft belly to make tight circles around your clit making you tighten around him and push your chest out more. “T—ohji!” 

Your mouth parted in a small when his mushroom tip kissed your cervix, it was an intoxicating blend of pain and bliss that made you cling tighter to him falling into the throes of pure pleasure as you succumbed to your orgasm. 

========================================================

Ever since that night with your friends, you haven’t talked to Hana, and Amy really but you called Mai every day. “I had no idea that she had the hots for you, do you think she touches herself thinking about you? OH! When you talked about Toji eating you out do you wonder if she wanted to be him?” 

“Why must you ask me those questions? I texted her but I don’t how to feel, I don’t want to lose our friendship because I do love her but I also didn’t want her to fall more in love with me. I don’t even know.” You sighed and scrubbed at your face as you leaned against the counter Friday morning. 

Mai cackled in the background followed by a loud bong rip. “Sorry, wake and bake. I have to before work or I’ll go apeshit crazy on someone, anyway, I know how you feel. Talk to her and let her know that babe.” She hummed followed by a loud hacking sound in your ear making you roll your eyes as you walked out of the kitchen and into the hallway.

“How can you be so silly more times than not but know the right thing to say? And it’s not only his dick that I love, I also love Toji for who he is, I love how he makes me feel, and when I’m having a bad day he just knows.” You gushed cleaning up the mess you made for tonight’s preparation in your bedroom. 

Mai made a fake gagging sound, the same noise she made when you two got married. “Sounds like you love me too. Call her. I’ll see you later because I want all the deets on how he made you his cum slut!” Before you got the chance to say anything else she hung up making you laugh. 

Toji was in the shower when you picked your outfit to wear for breaking up with him, it was a sundress that you knew would drive him nuts. Once you got dressed you stepped into the steamy bathroom just in time for him to get out wrapping his towel around his waist and stopping your movements. 

“You are so sexy and so handsome, I’m not sure how you haven’t gotten sick of me yet with me loving on you all the time.” You told him with a warm genuine smile that made his chest tighten while he stood behind you watching as you styled your hair and put on lip gloss and mascara. 

He couldn’t help himself and rest his hands on your hips popping your ass out a little so he could grind lazily against you. “Because I like it, especially when you’re so needy for me, I love how obsessed you are with me because I feel the same way.” You watched in the mirror as he snaked one arm around your waist. 

His lips trailed up your neck not breaking eye contact as he kissed up your throat and shoulder fingering the strap to your dress. “You’re a minx.” He groaned deeply inhaling your natural musk feeling his cock grow and swell. 

You did too as he pulled you impossibly closer leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses that left you a quivering and shivering mess as he pulled away with a chuckle. 

“Why are you breakin’ up with me? I fucked your sister or somethin’?” Toji asked as you followed him to the bedroom for your shoes and to spray on his favorite perfume. He wanted to know what the fake reason was. 

You laughed and rolled your eyes as you grabbed your shoes and sat on the edge of the bed watching him get dressed in shorts and a loose t-shirt that showcased his corded muscles and bulging biceps you wanted to bite. 

“I don’t even have a sister, besides Mai and she likes women more than men. What if you don’t pay enough attention to me? I could be the one fucking your best friend or something?” You suggested leaning back propping yourself up by your hands as he fixed his hair in the mirror before turning to look at you.

His lips were set in a straight line thinking about you and Shiu. “I think I pay plenty of attention to my pretty girl, am I right?” He asked stepping forward and planting his fists on either side of you to bend down until his face was inches from yours. 

Your eyes searched his feeling your breath hitch in your throat as he smirked pulling away once more making you reach out and slap his ass before scrambling off the bed and toward the living room grabbing your purse and following Toji to the car letting him open your door for you. 

“Remember the safe word? You say that at any time and we stop, I don’t care what it is. You’re breaking up with me because I’m too suffocating and you need a break from me, you get up from the table and get in the car, I’ll call a taxi home to make it feel really real, you’re going on a date with Shiu.” 

Toji explained sounding like he already had this planned out before you even brought it up. “I agree, I think it’s so sexy and hot when you take charge like that.” You cooed leaning over to kiss his jaw tracing his scar before pulling away. 

By the time you both made it to the cafe that you’d never visited before which was a bit out of town your nerves were a bit jumbled as you were seated in a populated area. The waiter sat the drinks down when you inhaled deeply gathering up the courage as you looked at Toji who was leaning back. 

The both of you got into character letting your real selves slip away for a moment. 

His eyes were trained on you and more than anything you wanted to lean in and kiss him, tell him how much you love him and how thankful you are that he’s your husband. “We need to break up.” You murmured holding your glass.

Toji leaned in, his face darkening as he absorbed your sentence. “No.” 

You furrowed your eyebrows feeling a stinging sensation deep in your gut, but you knew it wasn’t real, however, even the thought of losing him made you want to cry and lash out. “Yes, you are way too suffocating me. I can’t even have friends over without you getting jealous and I like someone else.” 

Your voice rose a little as you stared back at him reminding you of the fights you had. “Who do you like?” Toji asked completely in character now as his thick fingers drummed atop the table waiting for your answer. 

“Shiu.” 

His eyebrows rose as he whistled low and slow. “My best friend?” 

“Yes, it’s over.” You stated again watching him give the smallest of nods hinting that it was okay for you to throw the water on him. Your hand shook a little as you grabbed the glass which was slippery from the condensation while you pulled your arm back tossing the ice-cold liquid on your husband. 

He stood up quickly knocking over his chair as his grey shirt soaked up the water leaving a dark patch that clung to his abs, this time he gathered everyone's attention. “Sir, is everything okay?” The waiter came up to Toji with a shocked look on his face as he glanced at you watching you stand up fast. 

Without another word and a heart beating way too fast, you scurried to your car, the keys shaking too much for you to get the car unlocked forgetting you could hit the key fob instead, it felt so real and even though you slipped your wedding rings off before heading out you wished you had it with you. 

It took you only twenty minutes to get home and in the door searching for your phone in your purse as you rooted around it checking for a text from Toji. 

Nothing. 

It was growing darker but in the summer months, the sky didn’t turn black until well into the evening and now you had no choice but to wait feeling anxious and excitement build up as you took a shower and ended up in your bedroom sitting in front of your vanity as the minutes ticked by stretching into hours. 

You weren’t sure what Toji was doing to kill his time but it made you restless. 

With no choice but to wait you applied your makeup at your vanity like you were getting ready for a date as you listened to your playlist, the thought of Toji waiting and stalking you made your pussy burn with something new, and the blood in your veins felt thicker and hotter as you shut your eyes hearing the window. 

Too wrapped up in your head you had no idea how much time had passed by when the pane slid open to reveal Toji in a mask, only his eyes and mouth visible which sported a smirk. “Now darlin’, it’s not nice to break a man’s heart and leave him there hanging. You owe me.” He muttered pushing the rest of the window open and climbing through gracefully before towering above you. 

Your mouth dropped open as you stood up from your chair and frowned staying in character. “What are you doing here?! I told you that we’re over!” You all but shouted thankful that you didn’t have any neighbors. 

Toji chuckled darkly and took another step toward you watching as you quickly dodged him and hopped on the bed to bypass him and get out of the bedroom but he was much faster grabbing onto you and tossing you back onto the mattress reaching for his duffle bag you didn’t even pay attention to. 

He sat it on the edge of the bed and unzipped it slowly pulling out pink silk ropes, easy on the skin and in your favorite color too. You lay there frozen in faux fear and real-life desire that made your blood boil. Toji grabbed your ankles suddenly drawing you down the bed causing you to fight him off. 

“Keep struggling, it just makes me want you that much more.” He whispered in your ear as he pinned you to the bed on your belly with your arms behind your back, you felt the soft silk rope weave between your wrists that Toji tied not too tight to hurt but enough that you had to wriggle a bit to take them off. 

His fingers trailed down your thighs lifting your skirt a bit to look at the thong you slid on making him groan. “Oh, princess. You really know how to spoil a man.” Toji moaned, the sound gurgling in his throat as he pushed your legs together and bent your knees at a ninety-degree angle tying you in a hogtie.

Toji was sure to offset your feet slightly so your ankle bones wouldn’t rub against each other causing you pain, it seemed that he did his research. 

You mewled when he stroked your barely clad-pussy for a moment before pulling away. 

With your face buried in the sheets you couldn’t see anything but you could hear Toji digging around in his bag for something, a surprise until the soft hum of the Hitachi wand, one of his favorite things to use on you. 

He tossed it by your head making sure you could see the pink body. 

“No one will ever be able to make you feel as good as I do darlin’, it hurts me that you think you can.” He grunted in your ear as he grabbed the wand moving to kneel behind you, his rough hands lifted your hips before he stuffed a pillow under you keeping your ass high in the air. 

A little maneuvering and you could feel the rubberized head of the toy press against you when suddenly it turned off making you jerk and moan. “Going to make you nice and dumb before I give you what you really want.” 

You tried to buck up and get him off but it was fruitless when his free hand was pinning your shoulder down making it impossible to get up. Toji drug the head between your slick pussylips pressing it more into your clit. 

He kept this up, teasing you by dragging it up and down sometimes pushing it against your quivering hole. “If you want it so bad all you have to do is use your big girl words, can you do that?” Toji asked spread your cheeks open. 

Feeling so exposed you gasped even though he’s fucked every hole he could. 

“I hate you! We’re broken up!” You cried with faux tears that caught Toji’s attention making his dick pulse, his hand came down to swipe away your tears. 

He chuckled and pulled the toy away tossing it on the bed before he untied you, as soon as the last knot was undone you attempted to wiggle up the bed. “Look so pretty while you’re cryin’ for me. If you hated me so much why are you letting me play with you?” Toji husked delivering a soft smack to your rump. 

Toji took his mask off and that was it, keeping himself completely dressed while he ripped your clothes off at the seams making you shriek, the loud sound of fibers being torn filled your ears as you watched him toss the tattered bits to the floor before he untied your hands and ankles. 

He grabbed you again laying you flat on your back as he hovered above you with a crazy smirk. You could read it in his face he didn’t want to hurt you. 

You nodded letting him know you were okay, little checkins to make sure you still wanted this. “I don’t have a choice, you take and take.” You whined trying to push him off you but it was pointless when he pinned your hands above your head. 

Using his free hand he trailed it down your chest groping each breast and tweaking both nipples until he reached your pussy. “Holy hell, you’re so fuckin’ wet.” He was thrown off by how much slick your cunt had produced, making between your thighs a wet mess. 

Toji groaned spreading the wetness before sliding two fingers knuckle deep in making you cry out and lay your head back on the pillow he found a slow pace as his mouth latched around your nipple suckling on it slowly, gently scraping his teeth along the bud while his thumb circled your clit. 

Your mind grew fuzzy at the edges as your lover submerged you in a puddle of pleasure reminding you of spending all day under the hot sun and coming inside to an air-conditioned room feeling instantly at ease. He moved to your other nipple as you threaded your fingers through his hair whining softly. 

Everything about the plan slowly trickled from your brain and out your ear forgetting that it was your idea to begin with, all you wanted was Toji. 

“Please want you so bad, oh please baby just fuck me already, I need to feel you inside me!” You babbled with a teary gaze looking at your husband who met your gaze with your nipple still in his mouth, he pulled away with a wet pop and licked his lips. 

He squeezed your cheeks gently and chuckled watching your lips squish together. “My needy baby, did you forget about our breakup? You broke my heart so now I’m going to break you.” He growled and spread your legs making you gasp at how quickly he was able to move and have you folded. 

Toji groaned palming himself as he kneeled between your thighs and freed his cock with one hand while the other grabbed your ankle gently lifting it for him, the polish on your toes matched you perfectly and so did he. 

You watched with bated breath as he sucked on your big toe, swirling his tongue around it before moving to each toe kissing each one showing his love to each one before kissing the arch of your foot and putting it on his shoulder. 

“Do you know how much I love you?” Toji asked breaking character for a moment as he stared down at you, his massive body blocked most of the light and from where you lay he looked bigger and more imposing. 

You nodded again. 

Toji leaned in with a chuckle gripping your cheeks again gently. “Good, because I’m going to fuck you like I hate you.” He muttered and pulled away to jerk himself off for a few seconds while you wiggled down the bed to catch the head of his cock on the hood of your cunt. 

Your gazes clashed together as he grabbed your hips dragging you on his cock filling you in one thrust making your toes curl hard in his shirt, the other dangled around his waist as he fucked you hard and fast making the bed creak, the headboard hitting the wall with each powerful drive of his hips. 

With each stroke Toji fanned the fire in your belly, your fingers clawed at his back moaning and whining while lifting your hips to meet his thrusts feeling him go deeper that made you gasp stealing away your breath. 

Sweat beaded along his hairline and dripped down on your bare chest, the heat and friction between you both created an inferno of lust and love for each other as he rocked into you wanting to reach your womb almost. 

Toji bent down to capture your lips in a deep kiss claiming your mouth with his tongue sucking on it before nibbling on your bottom lip and pulling away to rest his forehead against yours feeling his orgasm tingle at the bottom of his spine. 

He pulled away and out of your wet cunt with a squelch before Toji was taking your spot then he pulled you back onto the bed and his lap sliding his hands on the back of your sweat-slicked legs to raise them in the air, his fingers rested on the back of your knees as you reached down to hold his arms. 

With immense strength, Toji lifted you and then sat you back down on his cock, in this position your cunt was tighter making his head swim. “You feel so good, I ain’t ever gonna leave my pretty princess alone, why would I when you’re the perfect little slut for me?” He huffed biting your shoulder gently. 

Your head lolled back as he fucked you from below, his sack patting against you wetly which filled the room along with the heavy perfume of sex, a blend of yours and his musk, something that can never be recreated. 

His cock bullied your puffy cunt that sucked him in deeper coating his shaft in a creamy white feeling your orgasm crash over you hard and fast, your eyes fluttered shut as your mind frayed putting you in a trance-like state, this climax felt a lot different as Toji chased his high until he was pumping you full. 

You both stayed like that for several minutes panting and coming down from your high basking in the soft sex glow. “I love you…thank you, baby, that was everything and more than what I wanted.” You husked looking at him. 

He kissed you gently and pulled away to help you off his lap wincing when he pulled out leaving you empty and the sheets a mess. “I love you too, always and forever.” He told you and stepped into the bathroom to draw a bath. 

“Let’s take a bath, order dinner in and I’ll get you a joint.” Toji knew all the ways to make your day and life easier, but after this whole scene, you felt more connected to him than you ever have with anyone else. 

feedback such as comments and reblogs are highly appreciated, those kind words mean a lot and encourage me to do more writing ♡

[nqmonarch]

Genuinely wanna hear more regarding the No Wish SAHSRAU (Is that how it's spelled?) especially with all the new events that's happened.

Including the Dr Ratio that slid into our DMs.

First, apologies for the wait I took a while doing this request and then also decided not to post anything during the Palestine strike period because free Palestine.

And man, I don't know how it's spelled. I'd assume that's right it's so long though. Also YES Dr. Ratio sliding into our DMs except bro waltzes in and calls us an idiot ;-;

But first! Let's catch up with some of the current crew who is currently in Penacony!

Warning Penacony Spoilers

For the Trailblazer Penacony's been rough... Shortly after the death of their new closest friend, they'd been coerced into talking with Aventurine, and now had to make a decision without consulting any of the Astral Express beforehand. Sure, they were a seasoned adventurer with two missions under their belt but they still have no idea about their past or if they could trust such sketchy people.

"Aventurine, that little rat..." Their ears perked up when they suddenly heard the voice of this presumed Aeon. "I want to knock my fist against his forehead and see if there's a brain in there." The Trailblazer wouldn't try that.

But if you were acting like this maybe Aventurine and Black Swan could be trusted. The Trailblazer forced themselves to relax and tried to show confidence in their eyes. They could do this. It was good you were still by their side in the dreamscape, otherwise... what would they do?

Herta has found it's more difficult to communicate with you than the Aeons. While the Aeons simply didn't want to communicate it was as if there was some sort of wall separating her from you. It was beyond fascinating but it irked her, she wanted to get into contact with you right away. Then, as she was working to implement a simulated version of you into the simulated universe as an Aeon she had a revelation. What if... this was all a game?

Natasha had done it. Recently the eyes glanced off her more often, something she couldn't help but feel disappointed at. But upon one instance when they glanced upon her, she'd taken their warmth in full, and decided to set out. It seemed when these eyes were on her, she improved in nearly every aspect, so maybe her luck would improve as well? Even though it had been a dead end many times before she investigated Vache's worn down laboratory covered by snow searching for research. Except this time, she found something. This Aeon... was strangely benevolent and caring towards mortals.

That's all the updates we have for now on the current characters, in terms of progress. Herta is one smart cookie but who else is one smart cookie? Dr. Ratio!!! That man I love him so much. Sampo is also a potential worrying addition.

Given in the current event you can get either Sampo, Guinaifen, Asta, or Yukong for free, so let's see how they react.

Dr. Ratio

...This was interesting. The plot unfurling behind the scenes of Penacony was to be expected, Aventurine was being a pain in his ass also to be expected, but an Aeon looking at him? A smart Aeon. One who also must hope to purge the world of ignorance! A noble pursuit. Or perhaps, they'd realized their own ignorance and sought to rectify it some of the Aeons were rather lackluster in this manner after all. But they'd likely never change in their ways.

And you're no longer looking at him, that's fine. Is it a bit more chilly in here or is it just him? An interesting side effect of your gaze then, the feeling of warmth. He wondered why that happened, the look of Nanook was dangerous and suffocating, near fatal for any mortal. That of Yaoshi's was said to be sickeningly sweet and suffocating as well. Nous' was cold and calculating, judging your every asset and whether or not you had potential. Everyone had potential, they just had to choose to rid themselves of their ignorance. If the gaze wasn't suffocating maybe... you were a weak Aeon? One that had just formed or had been thought to have died.

Interesting. Aeons, the topic no scholar knew completely about. Herta was researching deeply into them, Dr. Ratio supposed he could always ask her yet he didn't want to feed into her ego. There were other ways to get the information though.

Guinaifen

"Hello, hello! Can you all hear me? Good morning fam! And welcome to Little Gui's stream!"

It was then when Guinaifen suddenly felt warmth wash over her. Oh, maybe it was because this stream was her first normal one after all the ghost catching business but she found herself getting flustered...? Flattered...? She wasn't sure exactly how to describe it yet she felt even more energetic than usual! As if she could go on for hours! When she ended her stream, the warmth was still there and she still felt as if she was being watched.

Wait-- wasn't this how people said they felt when they were being watched by an Aeon? Something similar to this right?! If even an Aeon was watching her, she was definitely going to be famous! When Guinaifen went to tell Sushang about this news, she found Sushang had run into the same thing! Weren't the two of them an impressive pair? :)

E1 Asta

Research had been going smoothly, partly thanks to the eyes always observing Asta. With them came the warmth that brought confidence and innovation she felt she wouldn't feel otherwise. But, she could feel the warmth all the time now. She doubted an Aeon would be able to watch her all of the time so had she been blessed? That was good, she was able to focus on all the stars and her research more now and learn more in less time!

But... why did she feel so forlorn? As if she had been deserted? Had you just blessed her and moved on your way? Herta... Herta knew a lot about Aeons maybe she would know something about what had happened to her, maybe she would know if you're still around.

E1 Yukong

Even after it all Yukong wished to return to the skies. Despite failing her comrades, despite all those around her who she'd cared for yet failed to stop their death, despite the burning wreckage she'd had to painstakingly crawl out of. Yukong wished to fly. In this long life where even the things she'd once loved had dulled, the longing to fly was forever there.

The warmth was on her constantly now, she completed her paperwork faster, she created ingenious plans, but what did it matter?

"I want to go back," Yukong had spoken one day out to the silence of the world and when the warmth remained she realized, perhaps she could go back and fly. Maybe... it would be okay. But for now her fear remained, albeit comforted by the sight of an Aeon.

What a strange Aeon, to care so much for a mortal.

Sampo (spoiler warning for Black Swan quest, although I was kind of confused the whole time so some information may be incorrect)

Now this would be fun! Sampo had known he was right, this was only another clue in the right direction! And this Aeon, watcher, player, reader, whomever you were appeared at the perfect time! Whenever your gaze fell upon him, he could feel his speed increase as well as the rest of, if this were to be a game, his "stats." He knew he wasn't crazy, of course he'd never had that idea in the first place! He'd be able to retrieve his mask much easier now, he could deal with you later.

It wouldn't be anything bad, don't worry, Sampo Koski is always happy to have a new business partner and friend :) !

If there's anything else you wanna hear about it I'd be more than happy for ideas cause I love these little guys (the characters) . It's just them living their life except they're stronger and feel as if they can enact their dreams! And maybe they gain a friend or a small crush on the way but hey that doesn't mean anything until Penacony comes out with some tech they worked on with Herta that allows you to visit in your dreams but no way something like that will happen, right?

Also trailblazer is genuinely so stressed like imagine having to make the decisions to save an ENTIRE FUCKING PLANET and you don't even know who the you are or what you've been through, you're genuinely so lost but hey you're alive, somehow.

[wisteria-lodge]

Guys who Cry in the Harry Potter Books (and Why)

Men do 30% of the crying in the Harry Potter books, even though they represent 66% of the characters (and that's pretty much as expected).* I’m interested in why the crying happens though, and what it says about the characters. For the ladies, crying is neutral - they all cry, and for all sorts of reasons (tired, frustrated, stressed, emotionally overwrought...) Bellatrix, Augusta Longbottom, Ginny, Tonks… all cry. *Hermione* cries thirty separate times over the course of the books. 

Male crying though, that's something that gets mocked (usually by Slytherins.) Pansy calls Neville a “fat little cry baby,” and after Rita’s article (falsely) describes Harry crying, Draco comes in with “Want a hanky, Potter, in case you start crying in Transfiguration?” Of course there’s also “D’you think [Hagrid]’ll cry when they cut off his hippogriff’s - ” right before Hermione slaps him. So making fun of guys for crying is bad right? 

Let’s get into it. 

1 : Crying because of a death

The most “acceptable” reason for male crying. This happens a lot, we are definitely not supposed to think any less of the guys who do it. Mostly it happens *right* at the moment of death, or maybe at the funeral. The exception is Harry, who cries in Book 3 after talking about hearing his parents dying (although the narrative voice DOES let us know that he’s kind of embarrassed about this...)

“Harry suddenly realized that there were tears on his face mingling with the sweat. He bent his face as low as possible, wiping them off on his robes, pretending to do up his shoelace, so that Lupin wouldn’t see.” 

Then he cries again in Book 7, while visiting his parents' graves. But it’s definitely still crying over a death. Just one that Harry takes a little bit longer to process. 

Crying over a Death: Full Breakdown: 

Amos Diggory: 1 (Cedric’s death) 

Arthur Weasley: 1 (Fred’s death)

Harry Potter: 3 (Hedwig, Lily, James)

Rubeus Hagrid: 4 (Dumbledore, Buckbeak, Aragog, Harry) 

Argus Filtch: 1 (thinks Mrs. Norris is dead) 

Xenophillius Lovegood: 1 (thinks Luna is dead) 

Fillius Flitwick: (thinks Ginny is dead) 

Ron Weasley: 1 (Dumbledore’s funeral) 

Elphias Doge: 1 (Dumbledore’s funeral

2: Crying because of Pain

You’d think this one would also be acceptable. But… it really isn’t? Dudley cries when Vernon hits him (but Harry doesn’t.) Peter Pettigrew cries when he cuts off his own hand, Saw style, but it gets framed as blubbering weakness. Pettigrew framed SO pathetically for the entire resurrection scene - and honestly, for the entire rest of the series.

(Which is strange when you think about it. Like objectively, Pettigrew did GOOD. Sure he only likes Voldemort because he’s powerful, but so do most of the Death Eaters, that’s nothing special. Peter found Voldemort, resurrected him single-handedly (ha.) Found Bertha Jorkins,  i.e. the reason Voldemort was able to plan his comeback. Obviously he has god-tier bluffing and lying abilities, as well as enough willpower to cut off a limb. Being able to turn into a rat would make him a really useful spy. Also his spell, the one that killed thirteen muggles and destroyed a street? Most magic we see does not have a blast radius like that. Either he’s extremely powerful, or he somehow rigged the whole street up to blow beforehand? Either way, Peter’s formidable. But somehow his job is to hang out and be Snape’s servant? (Is it because he’s not cute?  Is this JKR’s fatphobia rearing its ugly head? Unclear.)

Our last guy crying in pain is Book 1 Neville, after he breaks his wrist during flying lessons. He also “sniffs,” while walking into the Forbidden Forest for detention, which *might* count as crying? But really, Neville cries surprisingly little. We get a lot of “looked as though he might cry” and “on the verge of tears”... but that's not actually crying. And I think that’s because… early-books Neville, yes we’re supposed to see him as a little pathetic. But definitely not as pathetic as Dudley or Pettigrew. 

3: “Childlike” Crying

Sometimes the people who cry are literally little boys. This is also okay. No one is going to judge infant Harry for crying when Voldemort is in the house, or little Severus for crying when his parents are fighting. Interestingly, when Myrtle is talking about Draco crying in her bathroom, Harry assumes she’s talking about someone much younger: 

“There’s been a boy in here crying?” said Harry curiously. “A young boy?” 

But of course, when an adult is crying in a childlike way, it immediately becomes… pathetic. Again we have Pettigrew, who “burst into tears. It was horrible to watch: He looked like an oversized, balding baby, cowering on the floor.” In the Horcrux cave, crying Dumbledore is described “like a child dying of thirst.” Which is also meant to be pathetic, but in more of a ‘Harry has to be the adult now’ sort of way. Also, the potion seems to have made Dumbledore mentally regress back to his youth, so it’s *closer* to a literal “child crying” moment. 

(I considered putting Dumbledore drinking the potion in the ‘pain’ section, but at least in the book I think it’s clear he’s mostly in emotional rather than physical pain.)

Where this gets messy is with the house-elves. House-elves are not children, but they are presented as childlike. They are small and in-your-face, direct even though their problem-solving tends to be very convoluted/not especially logical. I like the present-tense, no pronouns way they speak, but I can’t deny it is kind of baby-talk adjacent. And… house elves are *really* emotional. Dobby, Kreacher (and Winky) cry a LOT. If I had to guess, I would say JKR likes treating house-elves as childlike so it’s more of a surprise when it turns out that one of them was behind everything. But considering that they are slaves, it is gross - considering that one of the main real-world justifications for slavery was ‘slaves are childlike, and unable to take care of themselves.'

There’s also Hagrid. With seventeen separate instances of crying, Hagrid easily cries more than any other guy in the Harry Potter books. And… well… he’s also presented as oddly childlike. He seems much more like Harry and Ron’s contemporary than a peer of the other professors - which is weird, since  if he went to school with Voldemort fifty years ago, he’s in his sixties now. But still, he’s helpless in the face of criticism, he’s comically out of his depth whenever he deals with the Ministry, he’s constantly letting things slip or drastically misjudging danger levels. The first three books all use “Hagrid gets in trouble, the gang has to bail him out” as a plot point, and in Book 4 his sideplot with Madame Maxime gets treated like a schoolboy’s first crush, with all these jokes about him wearing suits that don’t quite fit, and trying and failing to style his hair. Not to mention, we know she’s flattering him because she wants insider info on the Tournament. But he doesn’t know that. 

4. Crying because of Sports

Oliver Wood cries when Gryffindor wins the Quidditch cup. That's all.

And that brings us to our stragglers. The only non-childlike guys who cry for reasons other than death, pain, or sports are as follows: 

Harry Potter: 1 instance of crying

Draco Malfoy: 2 instances of crying

Severus Snape: 2 instances of crying

Albus Dumbledore: 4 instances of crying

Horace Slughorn: 1 instance of crying

Let’s see what’s going on here. 

Harry Potter

Dumbledore had weakened himself by drinking that terrible potion for nothing. Harry crumpled the parchment in his hand, and his eyes burned with tears as behind him. Fang began to howl. He clutched the cold locket in his hand so tightly that it hurt, but he could not prevent hot tears spilling from his eyes

There’s a lot going on in this moment: Harry is tired, frustrated, disappointed, overwhelmed. But even though it is a complex moment, probably the main emotion is still Harry’s attempt to process Dumbledore’s death, now that he finally has a second to do so. So this honestly could have gone in the “Crying because of a death” category. It’s just different enough that I want to specially call it out. 

Draco Malfoy

We hear about Draco crying once from Myrtle, and then see it first hand: 

Malfoy was crying — actually crying — tears streaming down his pale face into the grimy basin.

The narrative takes a second to let us know that he was ACTUALLY CRYING, just to hammer in that this is something unexpected and not-normal. I think I want to attribute Draco’s tendency to cry - and cry because he’s overwhelmed, scared, lonely - to the character’s slight femme coding. What can I say, he cries for ""girly"" reasons. And so does Snape!

Severus Snape 

“Snivellus” is clearly a nickname meant to evoke the idea of “crybaby,” since “sniveling” is a synonym for crying. We also get this: 

Snape was kneeling in Sirius’s old bedroom. Tears were dripping from the end of his hooked nose as he read the old letter from Lily. 

Crying over Lily’s letter could count as crying over a death… but since he’s crying over a letter, not over a grave or her body (like in the movie), I’m going to say that he’s probably crying because of guilt, emotional overload, or love (especially because he rips the ‘love Lily’ off the end of that letter.) Like Draco, Snape might be getting little bit of femme-coding here. He’s the mean-girl type of bully (versus the mean boy) He cries, he threatens to poison people - which is something we only see women (and Draco) actually doing in these books. Idk, he’s an odd one who JKR clearly has very complicated feelings about. 

Albus Dumbledore 

I was actually really surprised that Dumbledore cries as much as he does, and at such unusual times! He cries when he sees Snape’s doe patronus - because of love or just because he’s emotionally overwhelmed. He cries all through the Horcrux cave, primarily because of guilt. He cries twice during the King’s Cross Station vision-quest, once because of his complicated feelings about Harry while he asks for forgiveness, and once over … Grindlewald.

“They say he showed remorse in later years, alone in his cell at Nurmengard. I hope that it is true. I would like to think he did feel the horror and shame of what he had done. Perhaps that lie to Voldemort was his attempt to make amends . . . to prevent Voldemort from taking the Hallow . . .”  “. . . or maybe from breaking into your tomb?” suggested Harry, and Dumbledore dabbed his eyes.

And okay. JKR announced that Dumbledore was gay just a few months after book seven was published, and I think she was folding in deliberate queer-coding as early Book 6. My proof of that is Dumbledore's increased emotionality - as we can see, it’s pretty unusual for men to cry in the Harry Potter books because of “softer” emotions like love, regret, stress etc. It’s something she associates with femininity, and I’m sure she associates gay guys with femininity as well (I mean, that’s a very common thing to do.)

There’s also this interesting passage from Book 6: 

This younger Albus Dumbledore’s long hair and beard were auburn. Having reached their side of the street, he strode off along the pavement, drawing many curious glances due to the flamboyantly cut suit of plum velvet that he was wearing. “Nice suit, sir,” said Harry, before he could stop himself, but Dumbledore merely chuckled.

Now, this is subtle. Wizards out and about in the muggle world often wear unusual colors like purple and emerald green. However. That adjective flamboyantly is only used one other time in the entire series, to describe Fudge’s hand gestures. But here, it is used to describe an outfit, a purple velvet suit which is honestly more than a little bit Oscar Wilde. And “flamboyantly gay” … those are two words often heard together. 

Also, correct me if I’m wrong, but I am pretty sure this is the only opinion about clothing Harry ever expresses aloud. And, I think @niche-pastiche hit the nail right on the head, saying that Harry's "Nice suit, sir" is "SO the response of a young adhd boy in the early 2000s trying not to say "thats gay." 

Horace Slughorn

Horace Slughorn cries at Aragog’s funeral, not really out of grief for Aragog, but mostly out of a maudlin sense of togetherness, nostalgia, and camaraderie. And… I do think we have one more slightly morally ambiguous femme-coded guy on our hands? Like Dumbledore, Slughorn is very much a flashy dresser, with shiny hair and gold buttons on his waistcoat. He loves treats and candies (hey… so does Dumbledore. They’re the only adults with a sweet tooth like that.) He loves fancy dinner parties, and is well-connected without being ambitious the way Lucius is. He also (like Draco) is aligned with pureblood-supremacy, but hyper avoidant of violence and confrontation. Except for the Harry example, I think I’d be comfortable with calling all of these last few instances “Femme-Coded Crying.” 

* Methodology - My list of 208 Harry Potter characters comes from TV Tropes, which had the most complete list. I am excluding characters from Cursed Child and the Fantastic Beasts Films. 

In order to find instances of crying, I searched for the words “cried/cry/crying” “tears” “sob” and “sniff.” I counted each crying episode as one, even if crying was brought up multiple times throughout the scene. I made the fairest call I could whenever I hit a “the crying intensified” or the “the tears restarted,” but I mostly judge pretty conservatively when I’m ringing up data.

[turtletaubwrites]

Sleeping Beauty

This one shot is an extra scene from the poly fic series, We've All Got Needs (during the skipped month after Part 18), but it can be read on it's own!

Pairings: Sanji x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2646

Ao3 Link

Summary: Your boyfriend has yet another kink he'd like to explore with you. You tell Sanji that you trust him to take care of you, even while you're sleeping.

Rating/Warnings: Explicit Sexual Content, 18+ ONLY, MDNI, AFAB!Reader, She/Her Pronouns for Reader, Reader-Insert, Mildly Dubious Consent, (Only putting since it's somnophilia. Sanji and Reader discuss it beforehand and full consent is given), Drugs, (Reader is a botanist and makes a tea to help her sleep heaviliy), Swearing, Smut, Established Relationship, Panty Kink, Nipple Play, Cunnilingus, Vaginal Fingering, Penis in Vagina Sex, Condoms, Large Cock, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Praise Kink, Consensual Somnophilia, Angst, (Kinda. Sanji berates himself for all his pervy ways and struggles with that girthy cock of his), Fluff and Smut, Aftercare, Pet Names

A/N: Everything in this fic is done with full consent, and the characters discuss it within the fic. However, if any form of somnophilia or drugged sex may be triggering for you, then please do not read this one!

| masterlist | about me | rules | ao3 | ko-fi |

“What is it?”

Sanji’s eyes went wide, his hand on your thigh gripping your skin just a bit.

“What do you mean, dar–”

“Come on,” you teased, pushing against his chest. You tilted as much as you could in the kitchen booth, narrowing your eyes at your boyfriend.

He was practically squirming under your scrutiny, voice coming out high and rushed.

“Oh, well… There’s, um–”

“What is it, Sanji? What dirty thing do you want to do to me now?”

He dipped his head with a laugh before lifting your hands to press his lips against them.

“Fuck, sweetheart. You know me too well.”

He was always afraid he’d push you too far. There were so many things he wanted to do with you, to you. 

And you kept letting him. You kept saying yes to the filthy things he craved. You were an angel. He wanted to give you everything in the world.

But the more you said yes to, the more he craved. 

This is too much. She’ll be disgusted, horrified. She might not feel safe around me. 

Sanji chewed on his lip as you waited. Your playful little smile made his heart swell in his chest.

It’s not worth it. I can’t scare her away. 

He leaned forward, falling into your scent as he kissed your soft cheek. 

“You know, sweetheart, it’s nothing. Really. Would you like something to drink?”

“Sanji,” you groaned as you grabbed his arm, keeping him from pulling away. You raised your brows as you saw the tension on his face.

“Oh, this one must be really bad,” you said with a laugh, stopping as he looked away. You kissed his hands now, voice soft.

“Honey, you can tell me. If it’s not something I’m okay with then I’ll tell you, and we won’t do it. I’m not going to kink shame you, Sanji. You trust me?”

Sanji melted at your sweet, almost teasing smile. He almost didn’t hear the rest of what you’d said after you called him ‘honey’ for the first time. 

“I love you, angel.”

“I love you too, baby. Now tell me already!”

You poked his chest gently, and he took a few deep breaths. 

“There is something I’d like to try with you. But only if you’re completely comfortable with it, darling.”

“Well, we have been adding to the list. What filthy act do you wish to perform on my body this time, Sanji?”

“I… I want to see how much pleasure I can bring you while you sleep. I want you to dream of me, then wake up moaning as I worship your perfect body.”

His jaw loosened for a moment, his eyes heated as they bore into yours. His words didn’t quite hit your brain as you took in his body’s reactions.

“You… You want to fuck me while I'm asleep?”

Sanji’s eyes rolled back, body slumping just a bit before he could meet your eyes again. 

“Only if you feel comfortable. I never want to make you feel unsafe, or make you do something you don’t like. Not ever.”

He took a deep breath, hands a bit shaky as he continued.

“If you’re open to it, I would love to touch you, to make love to you while you sleep. I would love to make you twitch and moan while you’re so relaxed. Have you wake up to pleasure.” 

“But, darling,” he said as he shook some of the heat from his eyes, “I don’t need to do this. It is perfectly alright if you say no. We never have to bring it up again.”

You bit your lip, and the tiny crease between your brows was so cute he wanted to kiss it. But he waited, trying to pause his brain until you spoke. 

You quirked your lips as you thought. His eyes trained on them, breathless until those lips opened, your perfect voice stunning him again.

“I want to try it.”

Sanji fell upon you with kisses and praise, and you planned out the occasion and discussed boundaries.

~

By the time your next night together arrived, Sanji had been buzzing, barely able to hold a conversation with anyone the whole day as the thought of your sweet, helpless body filled his mind. 

How can she be real? How can she let me do all of these things to her?

He could barely focus on dinner prep as you stood so cute at the edge of the counter, mixes of dried herbs and plants lined up in front of you.

“Are you making another tincture, mon coeur,” he asked, trying to keep his voice even and his body from pouncing on you. 

“No, I’m just making myself some tea. To help me sleep.” 

Sanji walked into the corner of the counter, wincing at the sting on his hip. 

“That sounds… That sounds…”

You shook your head, letting out a few adorable little laughs while you cleaned up whatever plants you’d chosen. You steeped your tea, but decided to drink it out on deck so that Sanji could function.

Dinner was agonizingly long. Especially when he saw your eyes get a little droopy. 

He’s never hated dishes more than right now. 

“Let me walk you to your room, sweetheart. I’ll join you when I finish cleaning up.”

“I love you, honey,” you yawned, stretching on your bed as he tucked you in. “I’ll see you in my dreams.

He kissed your smile as he whispered words of love and praise.

The restraint it took to leave was unlike any he’d felt before. 

She needs time to get into a deep sleep. My angel is waiting for me to take care of her, I can wait a little bit.

Dishes and prep for the morning meal were done. Now he sat on deck, taking long drags off his cigarette as he thought of everything he was about to do. 

He was already painfully hard.

He tapped softly, opening your door to find you there.

Perfect.

The dim light kissed your skin, the blanket mostly shoved away. 

Sanji let out a shaky breath as he moved closer, sitting on the edge of the bed. 

Your pretty mouth was parted, face so relaxed. Your arms had stretched above your head, lifting up the shirt you’d worn. He bit his lip at the sight of your panties, the cute ones you knew he liked.

He held his breath as he lifted the blanket off of your legs. 

“Fuck,” he breathed, nervous to move forward. But he leaned over you, brushing your hair out of your face while he pressed his lips to yours, so softly.

She’s so helpless. She trusts me this much. How can she be real?

His button up and undershirt hit the floor before he crawled onto the bed, moving as gingerly as he could. 

I want to taste her coming on my tongue before she wakes up. 

His goal pulsed through him, and he ignored the pressure of his own need as he started tracing his fingers over your skin. 

Your shirt was easy to push up, and the sight of your breasts made him moan, rocking forward. Your nipples were already hardening before he teased over them with his thumbs. 

His gentle touches on your neck, chest, stomach, and hips made his mouth hang open. 

Fuck, her body is incredible. 

“You’re so gorgeous, angel,” he risked a low whisper, hoping you could feel how much he wanted you in your dream. 

His fingers circled back to your nipples, and you let out the softest, sweetest of moans. 

He choked out a strained whimper as he fought his every instinct to make sure your next moan was louder. 

Finally, he let his fingers trail down over those panties you’d worn for him. 

Wetness had seeped through the thin fabric, his fingers sliding easily as he almost came right then, with no touch to himself. 

He lifted and pulled at you so carefully, until he held those soaked panties in his hand. 

I’ll just… I’ll just feel you on me while I taste you. My sweet girl.

His plan to keep from touching himself until you came fell apart at the feel of that flimsy fabric. He stripped now, the rest of his clothes on the floor as his thick cock pulsed, swollen as he looked down at your gorgeous body. 

“My angel,” he breathed as he lifted your scent to his face, moaning as he tasted your need on those cute panties.

Sanji was almost shaking as he brought your panties down, fisting them over his cock. He had just wanted to leave it there, feeling your slick on him as he pleasured you.

But the touch of that fabric, drenched in you, had him coming into his hand. He shoved his other hand into his mouth to stifle the groans, trying not to stumble to the ground as he filled your pretty panties with so much of his hot come.

Sanji tried to relearn how to breathe, berating himself as he cleaned up. 

“I’m so fucking selfish. You give me all of this, and I… I’m gonna make it up to you, sweetheart. I’ll take care of you, I promise.”

Sanji whispered his promise as he spread your legs gently, his eyes fluttering at the cute moan you let out as you stretched your arms. 

“Look how wet you are,” he whispered in awe as he moved in close. His fingers slipped easily along your folds, his eyes rolling back when he brought his fingers up to taste you. 

“Heaven,” he whimpered, sucking every drop from his fingers.

He looked up at your face, still so relaxed as he spread you open. The sight of your gorgeous pussy laid out for him brought a deep rumble through his chest. 

“I’ll take good care of you, angel.”

Sanji took his time with his meal, since you weren’t awake to beg him for more. He licked, and kissed, and gently sucked at every delicious piece of you. Rutting into the mattress, he ate you like you were the best thing he’d ever tasted. Because you were.

He’d pause now and then at little movements and noises you made, your body clearly reacting to him. 

This only sent him further, moaning while he shoved his tongue into you. He explored you, savoring your taste like he was licking something sweet out a bowl.

You moaned again, and he brought his tongue to your clit. He let out a satisfied hum at the tiny twitch you gave when he swirled his tongue ring around that sensitive bud. 

Even after he licked you clean, you kept drenching his face, more sweet wetness for him to drink. 

“My sweet, filthy angel,” he teased softly, slowly pressing one finger, then two into you. 

“I can’t believe how wet you are, sweetheart. And you’re already clenching my fingers so hard…”

Curling his fingers up to find that spot, Sanji sucked on your clit the way you like.

Your breathing got heavy, and he couldn’t decide whether to keep pushing, or take it slow and light again. 

“Please, come for me in your dreams, gorgeous. I know you can.”

Your moans got breathy, louder, and he became nothing except for the need to please you. 

The sweet flesh in his mouth started to throb, and he groaned, drinking up your pleasure as your clit pulsed.

You milked his fingers, and he hung onto your hip with his free hand.

Your legs gave weak little shakes, sleepy moans leaving your lips as your face scrunched up. 

Fuck, she looks so sweet, he thought as he kept his mouth where you needed it. 

Sanji left trails of kisses along your thighs, making his way to your beautiful face. 

“Angel, how are you feeling?”

You let out a soft sigh, but didn’t respond. 

Sanji’s eyes rolled back when he realized you were still asleep. 

“You're so relaxed, angel,” he breathed, tracing his fingers down your flushed cheek. 

“Soo relaxed… I bet you could take me even better like this, huh, sweetheart?”

He didn’t think you’d be able to sleep through an orgasm. That was his goal, and then he’d make love to you, press into you as your relaxed body opened for him.

But this. This. 

There was no way you could sleep through it.

But maybe I can sink into her without the struggle.

Sanji knew his girthy cock was often painful, and that drove him mad sometimes. The need to shove himself into you, versus the need to never hurt you…

And you have been perfect for him. You take him so well. You told him he could make love to you like this. You’d even begged him a couple times to just force himself into you, but he couldn’t. 

He didn’t mind the work. He loved making you feel good. 

Between your legs again, Sanji stretched you out, three fingers moving slowly inside of you. 

“My sleeping angel, so sweet for me. Just keep breathing, baby.”

Sanji fisted a condom and lube over his swollen dick, almost shaking as he stared at you. There was that cute crease between your brows again, but you were still his sleeping beauty. 

Rubbing the tip of his cock around your clit made you moan again, and he forgot to breathe. He held one of your legs up, pressing your knee toward you while lining himself up with the other hand. 

“Fuck. Thank you, sweetheart. Thank you for trusting me. I’m going to take care of you forever, angel.”

He pressed his thick tip just barely into you, the heat of your body already sending pleasure through him. 

He pushed in a little more. You moaned softly, but still looked so sweet.

“So relaxed for me. Such a good girl. Fuck. I know you can take me, sweetheart.”

Sanji thrusted into you completely, and the sensation of your wet cunt sucking him in all at once had him moaning your name. 

You moaned along with him, your eyes fluttering open. 

“Good girl, so fucking good for me,” he praised as he found a steady rhythm. 

“Sanji,” you whined, arching your back, “Feels so… Oh gods, you feel so good.”

“You too, my love,” Sanji breathed against your ear, leaning down to kiss your neck. 

Pulsing pleasure already moved through you, your body loose, but the pressure in your core was taut. 

You felt so full, Sanji’s cock leaving no part of you untouched.

“San– I’m close…”

“Come for me, princess. Let me feel my sleeping beauty milk my cock.”

He was fighting his own release, so close now as he gave you permission. He needed to feel you.

“F-Fuck. You feel so good, coming on my cock. Keep going, angel, just–”

The sight of you unraveling, twitching, drooling beneath him sent shockwaves through him, and he fucked you through your orgasm as he came so fucking hard into you.

The room filled with ragged breaths, and beads of dripping sweat, and your groan of pain and pleasure as he pulled himself out of you.

Sanji fussed over you, cleaning you both, then pulling you into his lap. 

He traced his fingers through your hair, worry on his face.

“What’s wrong,” you asked, a yawn making you stretch in his arms.

“Are you okay, angel? How are you feeling? Are you in any pain?”

You couldn’t control the huge yawn that came then, but when it passed you pressed your hands against his cheeks. 

“Sanji, I feel fucking amazing. I’m okay. I love you. Can we go to sleep now?”

His mouth hung open, until his eyes filled with all that gratitude and love that almost feels overwhelming. 

“I love you so much, angel,” he said with a kiss, before lying down to wrap his arms around you, holding you close. 

“My sleeping beauty.”

Likes and reblogs bring me much ✨dopamine✨ thank you so much!

a/n: Sanji and his big dick problems in this series will never not be funny to me. Poor guy won't hurt a lady 😅

Tag List: @astheni-a | @ferns-fics | @heilee | @iamn1ya | @ghostfacefricker6969 | @onlybassoon01 | @apothicgloom | @slyhersophia | @cyberaestheticals | @nothing-but-brass | @shewrites02

| masterlist | about me | rules | ao3 | ko-fi |

[miwiheroes]

Bylers, we need to talk about something…

I’ve been having a lot of thoughts pertaining to what will happen in season 5 relating to byler recently, as have we all, but I’ve also been wondering about the audience’s reaction to it if it happens.

Actually, i’ve been more concerned not about the GA’s reaction, but our reaction to how they handle it. I just want to say beforehand, that I might be projecting my issues with negativity and conflict (i’m a very very optimistic person it’s rough being on social media these days lmao) and I also very much believe that they will make byler canon in some way or another. It just makes sense with the narrative. But I fear we will never be happy with how they do it and we never learn from our previous mistakes lmao

Before season 4 came out, I sort of was a fan of byler, but i was very very casual, as in I didn’t interact with many fan theories, I wasn’t on twitter (still not on there because I have a phobia of negativity eek) and I wasn’t on tumblr, I would occasionally check out the edits and fanarts and I think I was just Aware of it, because I always root for the gay ship to happen ofc..

So when season 4 vol. 1 came out I was excited about the direction they were taking byler, and I could see that it was finally canon that Will was gay, rather than theorised. When season 4 vol. 2 came out, I had not been on sttwt or st tumblr during the time between the volumes because I had other fandoms prioritised around the time. I watched the Van Scene with my parents and suddenly I was acutely aware of just how gay they were (because I always get scared of watching anything queercoded around my parents lmao).

By the end of season 4, I was like YES! this season was amazing for a byler set up next season, although i was more focused on other characters too. I then kind of saw the byler script stuff but not the full extent of it, and I saw many edits and fanarts of them but that was it!

Now it’s 2024 and I have a major hyperfixation on byler, (due to the season 5 bts and the fact stranger things keeps popping up on my fyp it’s crazy) and now I’m on byler tumblr (not twt tho .. sorry) to find all the evidence I can and get all hyped up for s5! But I’ve also seen old posts from around 2022…

Literally every single one was extremely disappointed from season 4 vol. 2, and I was confused, seeing as I was very happy with it and I liked byler (my fave byler scene is from vol. 2 and no it’s not the van scene). If I’m being totally honest, and I might get some hate for this, I think we all had wildly, wildly high expectations and the disappointment was our own doing.

I personally never really judge a show before it’s finished (obviously not sitcoms and shows like that) unless it has really really terrible writing ofc, but I always choose to reserve judgement until all the character arcs are wrapped up and I can look back and see why things were made to be.

I understand the whole anger with Mike’s behaviour towards Will and how Will was treated poorly by him, but isn’t that the point? Mike loving Will back in season 5 would then be more satisfying after all that. It’s a set-up for the next season, no?

I don’t know why or how people thought that Mike would suddenly resolve all his internalised homophobia or something during that season, and I reckon if the whole season had come out at once instead of two volumes (i hate the two volumes thing sm omg) people would have been much happier because we wouldn’t have had time to create insane theories or unrealistic expectations that, let’s be real, were not in line with what we have seen so far with byler.

So, I just want to say that I’m a little afraid for season 5, because I know that byler will likely be canon, but people just won’t be happy because it won’t be in the exact way that they had theorised. Sorry to break it to you, but you, random person on tumblr, are not a screen writer. More specifically, you’re not a screen writer for stranger things.

I think it’s fun to theorise at the moment, but I just want to remind people that this pattern has happened before and we never learn? Like, none of our theories are coming true. Not one of them. Did I theorise the exact van scene? Did I theorise the part at the end where Mike grabs Will’s shoulder? No. But am I happy with those scenes? Hell yeah.

So on the build up to season 5, I just want to caution everyone to not assume that specific things are going to happen when it’s just a result of an echochamber (such as the milkvan breakup scene being right at the beginning or the painting being brought up). You’ll just be angry for no good reason.

The only reasons I’m personally going to be angry with how they handle byler is:

1. If it’s not canon and Will’s love goes unrequited/ he has another love interest somehow…

2. If either of them die after having a relationship during season 5 (bury your gays is stUPID)

3. If one of them dies before the other gets to tell them they love them/ kiss

4. If they get together without Mike apologising (it could be in literally any way, obvious or not) for his poor behaviour.

But that’s it, the rest of it is literally up to them.

Hope ur not too mad, but it just needed to be said.

[cripplecharacters]

How to go about writing tics? I have tics but I never know how to write them naturally, especially cause I often forget I even have them. To me it's like describing blinking or something? But I of course want the character to notably have tics, even though my internal experience of tics isn't very noticeable to me? If that makes sense?

Hello!

Jerk, California by Jonathan Friesen is a book about a character (Sam) with Tourette's syndrome, written by an author who also has Tourette's. One of the things I really appreciated about the book was that it described Sam's tics in a way that made sense with how they felt as somebody with Tourette's.

In the book, Sam's tics are generally described when they're relevant. Usually, this is either to show that he's upset/otherwise worked up about something or as a way to build tension within the narrative itself. Although it doesn't necessarily mean that Sam isn't ticcing otherwise, it came across as the tics being more noticeable in those moments -- which I felt was a nice touch.

Consider the following passage from the book:

I glance around. My muscles don't jerk, and I close my eyes. I breathe deep, and like the third runner who finally catches up, the overtakes me. Slowly at first–a hard eyeblink. But that's not enough; there's more that has to work its way out, and my teeth grind. Movement spreads to my shoulder, and soon my whole body springs to twitchy life.

Even without the rest of the context of the scene, the description of his tics is enough to convey how he's feeling in the moment.

In the more mellow portions of the book, his tics aren't generally described at all, which helps it to feel more calm.

Another thing I liked it that they're described in the same way as any other action or movement.

This is another passage from the book:

The class groans, Heather swears, and my shoulder jumps. My elbow knocks my textbook to the floor with a thump.

Although the author doesn't explicitly say that Sam is ticcing, we as readers can get that idea from the way it's described. Essentially, this is to say that you don't need to explicitly specify when something is a tic or not – your audience will generally pick up on it.

With verbal tics (Especially ones that involve speech), it can be a bit harder. There's a kind of balance you want to strike between showing the tics and still making sure that the dialogue is readable.

While discussing verbal tics that occur outside of dialogue (i.e. Not interrupting the character's speech), I'd suggest marking the tic as such through dialogue tags. Words such as "blurted" or "exclaimed" can imply an unintentional aspect to the speech.

You could also describe how the character is experiencing the tic themself (If it's from their POV).

This is another passage from Jerk, California:

"No thanks, Jace. I'll stay with Sam." "Hah!" The word fires from my mouth. I purse my lips and bite my swollen tongue, but my vocal cords are locked and there's nothing I can do. "Stay with Sam! Stay with Sam!"

If you're writing in the POV of another character, you could describe how it looks from their perspective. Though I'd be careful with this, as it can come across as mockery if it's not done well.

With verbal tics that do interrupt dialogue, be careful to ensure it's not too frequent as it can make it difficult to read. I'd also suggest using some sort of formatting to identify tics vs general dialogue.

An example could be: (Note: This is not from the book)

"You know, I don't think–hey!–that would be a good idea."

That said, you would have to establish that the character has tics beforehand (And, ideally, establish this speech pattern as such), otherwise it can look more like an interruption or something similar.

I'd definitely suggest taking a glance through some books about characters with tics, just to see the format that other authors use. There's a wide range of options out there and the book I referenced here is just one of many ways to do it.

Cheers,

~ Mod Icarus

[dokidokitsuna]

“Some of us…will always be alone”

Skipping forward a bit in this re-concept, just because I can~ (loooong post ahead)

So one of the many things I found underwhelming about Return of the Mammalians is the lack of villainous impact Mr. Grizz has on his own story.

For starters, he’s straight up absent from 80% of it. =/ Just a vaguely threatening disembodied voice that does weak comedy bits with Cap’n Cuttlefish from time to time…and that’s basically it until we face him in the final battle.

The worst thing he’s responsible for in the story (as in, a successful act we have to contend with, rather than a work-in-progress that we interrupt) is dehydrating Cuttlefish…which is very temporary and played for laughs immediately afterwards. We don’t even get the opportunity to engage with this “tragedy” by actively rescuing the Cap’n in gameplay, we just suddenly find his body during a cutscene.

Compare this to Commander Tartar manipulating the player and lying directly to their face throughout the game, attempting to kill the player during the reveal of its treachery in one of the most memorable scenes of the entire series, brainwashing a former protagonist into fighting the player, and then attempting to destroy an entire city while quietly confessing that it murdered thousands of victims just to get to this point.

I’ll let you guess which one of these antagonists feels like a genuine threat, and which one just feels like a disappointment. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Now, I don’t mind Mr. Grizz being less violent and deranged than Commander Tartar…the two have different personalities and slightly different goals, and anyway a body count isn’t really necessary to be a convincing villain. But I DO mind him being so totally uninvolved, despite being a character that we already knew and interacted with beforehand. Like, at the very least…talk to the player. o_O Care about the player. Do something to interfere with the player sometime before the last minute! The fact that Grizz just doesn’t give a damn about our existence for most of the campaign is baffling from a writer’s standpoint, and heartbreaking from a Grizz-fan’s standpoint. ;_; Notice me, Kuma-san!!

…Anyway, there’s a million ways to remedy this, because it’s such a simple and obvious problem that really shouldn’t exist. ^^; And the one I chose for #re_rise (besides having Grizz haunt the game like an ever-present specter, as explained here) is one of my old tried-and-true favorites: using the villain to parallel the protagonist.

Basically, both characters are lonely at heart. Agent 3 left home for the Splatlands in search of a “fresh beginning”, after spending most of their life feeling like they never fit in anywhere. Throughout the story, we get subtle clues that what they want most is belonging and friendship…which they’re clearly discovering through their interactions with Deep Cut and Smallfry, although it’s not until the climax of the final battle that they can truly believe in it and accept it.

And of course, Mr. Grizz lost his home and entire civilization, and even in the midst of a thriving new one (that he actively engages with through his corporation…!) he’s apparently such a massive bigot that he doesn’t consider it worthy of his company. ^^; Fish-people do not count to him, thus his loneliness is self-inflicted and intensified. He believes his only recourse is to transform the world back into something he can accept.

These parallels, plus the desire-manifesting powers of Alterna’s crystals (discussed in this post) eventually brings the two characters to an understanding of sorts. Without having to exchange words, they can see and consider the similarities of their innermost feelings.

This doesn’t have much of an effect on Grizz, outside of something he might muse about while Agent 3 ascends the launchpad (and maybe quietly internalize as proof that fish-people have feelings too, just to give his last-second change of heart at least one leg to stand on). But it weighs heavily on Agent 3, especially since they’re being physically changed by their adventure in a way that makes these parallels even more relevant…yes, I’m finally gonna talk about what I actually drew. ^^

My idea was that spending too much time around Fuzzy Ooze will affect you even if you don’t touch it (i.e. through splashes/aerosols), just to a lesser degree. And since Agent 3 was the first to actually enter the underground lab spaces and spends more time fighting there than anyone else, they’ve had an unprecedented amount of secondhand exposure to it.

Through O.R.C.A.’s files, they can understand why this mild fuzzification is happening to them, and that it may not be reversible, although they press on anyway (I’d like to imply that they’re willing to ignore it to impress Deep Cut~). But Grizz’s offhand comments make them realize that they may be unintentionally setting themselves up to be cast aside again, slowly turning into a repulsive mutant monster that no one will want to be around. The only one of their kind in the world, just like a certain Ursine Anomaly…and if they succeed in stopping Grizz’s plan, that’s all they’ll ever be. 

…On the other hand, if they were to sit back and let him fuzzify the world, then…no, they couldn’t do that. They…wouldn’t…

[aihoshiino]

chapter 164 thoughts

This post discusses suicide and suicidal ideation in the context of Oshi no Ko.

Chapters Until The Story Ends Without The 143 Kiss Being Addressed Or Acknowledged: 2

Bizarrely, I feel like I don't have a ton to say about this chapter. Not because stuff doesn't happen in it but because… fuck, man. What do I even say. I can't quite 100% shake my suspicion that Akasaka has some asspull up his sleeve and that Aqua might come back in style form, even if altered to the point that he isn't the Aqua we know anymore, but this chapter is clearly set up for us to think he's dead and for us to see other character's reactions to this news, so I'll talk about the text with that assumption in mind. This one will probably be kind of all over the place so bear with me ig

That being said… this is all kind of dumb as fuck, huh

Like. There's just so many insane contrivances with this setup that it's impossible for me to take it seriously. Putting aside that there's no way on planet earth Aqua's plan should have fooled anybody, why in God's name are his family and friends finding out about this from a news broadcast and not, like… Being contacted by the police?? Or at least hearing about it beforehand??

I also really don't like that we're setting up to have a whole chapter focusing on Ruby's response to all this while Aqua's Literal Mother and all his friends get like. Two panels to be shocked at the news. If the series ends without giving them all the space to grieve I think I will be legitimately really pissed off lmao

The presence of 15 Year Lie in this chapter also makes me agonizingly aware that we know basically nothing about it to this day, even though the contents of the movie are what this final arc revolves around. Aqua's plan relies on Kamiki's crimes as exposed by the movie being heinous enough that Kamiki would kill Aqua to silence them but…

WHAT FUCKING CRIMES???

The Kamiki we saw in the movie was only ever portrayed as a victim in the scenes we see. Unless the story is trying to imply that Kamiki is somehow responsible for Uehara and Airi's deaths or that 15YL makes him directly responsible for Gorou's death or - literally I have no idea what this could be referring to.

I dunno, man. It's hard for me to really want to buckle down and analyse this because so much of it feels entirely contrary to the story that came before. I've always insisted that the one thing that we could guarantee was that Aqua and Ruby would survive the series and be happy because so much emotional weight is put on Ai's wish for Aqua and Ruby to grow into adults and be happy, and it really seemed like we were building up to an ending of Aqua deciding for himself that he wants to finally live for himself, so this sudden swerve into Aqua being told by God "actually your purpose in life is to nobly commit suicide for your sister" is uh, jarring to say the least.

Part of the issue with this is that I think Akasaka doesn't think of Aqua's sacrifice as being a suicide, narratively speaking, even though Akane literally acknowledges it as such. But the thing is, Aqua's "sacrifice" is emergent from all the same things as his suicidal ideation - his belief that his life is intrinsically less valuable than everyone else's and his continued guilt and self loathing as a result of his trauma. Aqua literally says to Ruby's face in 143 that he feels guilty just for being alive and it's literally never addressed again.

So it's very difficult not to read this ending as the story approving of Aqua killing himself, but only if it's for the right reasons. Not only is that an insanely irresponsible message to put into a story as widespread and visible as OnK is right now, it's also just fucking ghoulish.

Idk. Even if Aqua lived here, I just really dislike this idea of his whole life's purpose being Narratively Affirmed as being to uplift Ruby at his own expense. Aqua is very much like Ai in that he's a person who has spent basically all of both his lives in service to other people, unable to pursue the things that he wants and that make him genuinely fulfilled - an ending that parallels Ai, where he is denied this to the extent that it kills him, is not a bad idea on paper but the execution here makes it fall apart. Like, if the framing was that Aqua and Kamiki were both unable to move on from the past to the point that it kills them, I'd vibe with that or something like it. But as is, this shit is just baffling.

It doesn't help that Aqua's death is just completely unmoored from anything the series has been setting up all this time. I've seen people defending this as being what Aqua's revenge was building up to, but this very explicitly isn't about Aqua's revenge. It's about "protecting Ruby's future", but the idea that Kamiki was a threat to Ruby specifically is something that was introduced all of four chapters ago. Even then, it's deeply undercooked. Like, what it is about Kamiki that makes him SUCH a threat to Ruby that Aqua has no choice but to take the nuclear option and kill them both? Why is this the one and only way to stop him? We don't know - we basically know nothing about Kamiki besides "he's Ai's crazy ex" which is such a massive letdown for an antagonist who's been built up for this long.

Speaking of Ai…. where the fuck is she!!!

I know this is predictable background noise from the Ai Wife Guy, but it really is baffling to me that she's such a nonfactor when the climax happening right now is her son confronting the man who killed her. At best, we get mild lipservice as to her existence but the series is so all-in on this "protecting Ruby's future" framing that Ai's absence here feels jarring. It's not just that Ai should be relevant because I like her (but I DO and she SHOULD) but because it makes for a bizarrely deflated finale. Instead of the tragedy we've been building up to avenging for over 140 chapters, Aqua's death comes as the result of a plan he came up with on the spot to deal with an ill-defined threat that only came into existence 4-6 chapters ago.

It just doesn't really feel satisfying, especially when the series has been so wishy washy when it comes to focusing on Aqua and Ruby's relationship. If the series was going to make that connection The central axis on which this climax revolves, then it needed more fleshing out than it got, regardless of if the series went the AquRuby route or not.

Two chapters left………..

[cheonminhyuk]

tapping the sign that says "you don't need to use slurs or outwardly express bigotry to retain homophobic or racist ideas"

why is the author of hsr incapable of conceptualizing a wlw romance that does not have a sexuality crisis/societal homophobia as a central element? why is greg's route creating a new problem every update? it is not even that we as the readers don't see them as fully realized characters - the author doesn't see them as interesting enough on their own to carry out a romance with.

i'm all caught up on the dmitry romance, and i've seen quite a lot of cain's. why is it that both of them get the tension, the pining, the gradual closeness and what keeps them and lane apart is disregarded eventually because love wins i guess?

meanwhile anna's romance is 'slow burn' and 'angsty' and 'lane thinks they're just friends'...i really just think the author cannot imagine a gay ship being interesting without a backdrop of homophobia lol

and that's sort of what the problem is - interest, or lack thereof. the author doesn't think anna and greg's characters, on their own, can maintain reader interest. i've been romancing greg since the start and damn near every update there's some bullshit disagreement/conflict they have that the diamond scenes are then focused on resolving. rinse and repeat. lane can have two unfriendly interactions with greg about the squad drugging her. she is uniquely upset at greg's involvement in it because "i thought you were different". compare this to the dmitry scene, in which lane only brings the drugging up as a joke and dmitry finally says 'sorry', a season later when it no longer matters to anyone.

this brings us to greg's treatment as a whole. as someone else has pointed out, the black man is the only romance option you can actually kill. he is regarded by lane as the one having betrayed her most severely regarding the drugging, purely because what? they had one civil conversation beforehand?

onto s2 - greg is now the temporary leader of the squad. this changes nothing for him and lane. sure. in dmitry's train cabin scene, they have an exchange about this in which she tells dmitry her and greg "haven't interacted much", even if you've been romancing both. hey, at least the author's self aware? dmitry's position as general colors every single interaction he has with lane and the world, as well as the other characters, react to it. greg's position as his second-in-command is so irrelevant we find out about it only when dmitry is out of commission and someone else needs to lead the squad in his absence.

towards the season one finale, we find out the fate of emma, greg's sister. half of the ensuing interactions with him have lane thinking about how she's keeping this information from him. but she continues to do so with no good reason. 5 episodes later - the gym scene. i don't know about the mercy path, as my greg slot is not on it, but on the no compassion path, lane basically argues she can't tell him because she likes him and knowing the truth would somehow cause him to leave the squad. i simply don't buy this reason. first of all - why would greg, now knowing his sister died in the siberia base, not stay with the only people who could possibly know more about this base? second...where the fuck would he go lmao. one could argue this is simply lane being irrational, but no mercy lane has never before been portrayed as irrational, only lacking in empathy for other people. it's hard not to see this for what it is - another hook for conflict between them because the author, again, does not see greg as interesting enough on his own and feels she has to rely on cheap drama to keep readers invested.

[itsybitsyspecter]

I for one am extremely curious about the character shots in the opening.

Sam stands in front of her set on Britain's Got Magic. Makes sense, her show is a very important thing to her and is season relevant.

K flies their broom with their friends, a rainbow that turns orange at the end trailing after her. We now know this is a scene from episode two. Not entirely sure if there's a specific reason why that's their picture unless it's just about the orange/being with her friends?

Now Jammer's is really interesting. First we see him standing normally, making the gesture for the goat horns. Though his scar does look different than it does in the other drawings, this might just be artistic choice. But what is sort of weird is that he's the one holding Tabby. Was that just to introduce Tabby or is there a plot reason for it? Might make sense considering he's the one most Anti Tabby. But then K's hand (pretty sure it's them) slides across the screen, holding their phone and takes a photo of Jammer. And when the phone moves away, Jammer has disappeared. Except the picture on K's phone begins to move, the Jammer in the photo looks like he's falling. What does this mean? Has he been put inside the phone? Why? To hide him? To protect him?

And finally Evan, the one I am more curious about. He is fighting against Tad. Seeing it for the first time, just glancing at it you might think that it's just from when they fought him in the Christmas special. But Evan is clearly season2 Evan. His hair is short and he's wearing his new outfit. Along with that there are some more drastic changes that we have yet to see. His eyes are larger, darker, more threatening. Angrier? He has fangs which I don't think he did beforehand right? His clothes are covered in strange green splotches and mostly in his shirt but slightly on his jacket too are three designs that look like lightning bolts. Along with this the magic coming from is wand is green too, a more sickly looking green rather than the vibrant green on his clothes. This could mean a whole slew of different things. Tad could've done something to him. His magic could be changing from whatever is happening to the magic world. He could've leveled up his magic die. But what I think is most likely is that it's an after effect of what happened in episode three. When Victor resurrected his familiar, it came back different, invisible. I'm sure many of us are wondering if the same can be said for Evan. And I think that whatever is going on with him in the intro is just that. The consequences of coming back from the dead.

But that's just a theory.

[metalichotchoco]

Honestly what I’d like to see in more ihnmaims media if we ever get any is the relationships between survivors, here’s my take, picking and choosing from each version of canon.

Ellen is the most stable so her relationships will be saved for another part

In the triangle that is ted, Gorrister and Benny it’s a vicious cycle

Ted and Benny have a complicated mutual hate towards one another they both play to their most deep insecurities. Ted already believes that everyone hates him due to being “better” or not broken the way they’ve been so it’s not hard for him to antagonize people anyways. For Benny’s part ted provokes his complexes about sexuality, animalisticness and the difference between the weak and strong. For as much as ted is a lying narcissistic criminal, he’s shameless about it, about his nature he cares about the consequences not the actions. Benny cannot own his actions at all, there’s a disconnect between the educated, handsome former general and professor and the aggressive,almost feral war criminal he is. Ted is very self centered but doesn’t handle slights to his ego well, Benny in his non mutated form is much more successful and traditionally attractive than him. God he even deludes himself into thinking am changed Benny’s “size” in the book. Both of their moralities are twisted and it’s not hard to imagine them being snippy when they both have the mind to think properly. They are also coincidentally am’s favorite victims.

I do think it would be in character for both of them to make snide remarks about gorrister’s former hippie status, he’d be seen as an extreme liberal since this book takes its characters from the dawn of the Cold War, just after ww2. Most of Benny’s pride and identity came from being in the military so that’s obvious to see how that’d pan out, whereas ted seems like the type to not care about politics unless it directly relates to him. His problems come from the idea of people not centering their lives around money or power.

Individually there’s some fun dynamics to be had. Ted in general would think gorrister is a bore. For a person who likes stories, ted finds non fiction exhausting. Gorrister likes talking about history and politics even though his spark has faded out. It’s a bit funny that Ted believes am has changed Gorrister too despite his symptoms sounding much more like being worn out and becoming depressed. It’s not like he’d really consider that a real condition though. Gorrister just finds ted to be a bit annoying. An attention seeker but he figures ted was always just a weird kind of guy.

Gorrister is mostly ambivalent to his forever roommates, though he would consider Benny a war dog past his prime. A key example of what happens to soliders, men forced to kill and then given power. Then as soon as it’s given, it’s taken away and you’re left with an unstable pitiable person. How could they go back to living a normal life after that. With am being a literal war machine made by the government Benny put so much trust in, he finds it poetic in a sober way. Benny finds Gorrister very confusing, he never understood protesters before anyways. He would’ve found him preachy if he had met him beforehand. Gorrister does threaten his masculinity though, like ted he’s a brand that’s not the ultra traditional that he’s built himself around. Gorrister freely admits that he’s had queer experiences while still carrying a traditional masculine job, a truck driver. He can’t be put into that stereotypical box that’s nice and safe for Benny. It’s also good to mention that Benny is soothed by gorrister’s stories even if in that scene he wasn’t fully there.

Both ted and Gorrister see the clear closet case that is Benny but they don’t act on that knowledge. Both of them believe that being a solider sucks but for different reasons. Ted thinks it’s for suckers who get caught up in manipulation tactics going on about morals. Gorrister also believes they are manipulated but also sees the horrors of war as that, horrors. Basically he takes a more empathic view. Gorrister and Benny both agree that Ted is annoying but not in the way ted himself thinks everyone hates him. He’s very loud and shows off his now eternal youth. They are not even sure if the man did or did not graduate college. Gorrister doesn’t mind breaking laws but he does care about people’s wellbeing whereas Benny’s stricter about following the script but he’s done worse so he doesn’t have room to talk.

[mcbride]

Daryl Dixon Rewatch S1E06 - Coming Home

it's the first ep with an English title and the last of the season. overall, i wanna say i was actually surprised how much i did enjoy watching. the complete focus on Daryl without all the background noise/storylines/characters, the way he still means what he says, but he's actually using his words and lots of sass instead of the typical nodding and grunting. good job!

but i gotta confess that if i hadn't known beforehand that Carol was going to be a part of this show, i probably wouldn't have bothered 🤷‍♀️. the fact Carol's not only back on screen, but she is such a great part of the whole vibe of the show, was actually unexpected. this show is straight up showing us Carol is the driving force in Daryl's relentless journey to get back home.

whoever tries to convince you Daryl is conflicted about where he belongs and where he wants to be is lying to you (pointing at you, Z!!). he literally spends 6 whole episodes reminding everybody he's got a home, people who love him waiting, a promise to keep, and a need to get back asap.

it doesn't mean Daryl does not form connections while on that journey. because he does - the strongest with Laurent, obviously, however, none strong enough to hold him back from his ultimate goal, which is going home to keep his promise to CAROL!

anyways, let's get to the season 1 finale:

the super!walkers fighting scene in the arena is pretty epic: from Daryl's super cool kill with the French flag to that Daryl/Quinn team up! the cherry on top being Daryl throwing that walker head at Genet. Loved IT!

Quinn eventually does help Daryl escape, and later, unfortunately, almost kills Isa, who is once again totally helpless against any kind of threat (killer nun, my ass!). in a scene eerie similar to the one in Daryl's underwater premonition a couple of eps ago, Daryl prompts Laurent to kill walker!Quinn with a "God will forgive you."

Laurent says something that sounds like it will be the whole point of Caryl's French adventure. "Sometimes you have to do horrible things, and no matter how bad you feel, if there is no other choice, God will forgive you." this feels like the key to breaking out of the cycle Carol has been stuck to since she was banished by Rick. (i'll probably post my s2 spec and theories next week!)

next, we see Daryl watching lovebirds Sylvie and Emile saying goodbye, they have to separate (i see what you did there, Z!), and reassures Sylvie that Emile will be alright before she asks him if he's ever been in love. BOY, has he ever!! Daryl's non response is quite telling. he knows what it feels like to say goodbye to the one you love without knowing if you'll ever see them again. and he's not alright, he's all the way in a whole different continent, separated by the Atlantic ffs.

we get some new insight into Daryl's origins when he and Isa share stories about their fathers. Daryl believes that his grandpa never returning home from war ruined their family for future generations and worries the cycle might repeat itself. has Daryl been reading about generational trauma? sharing this with her will bite him in the ass, later!

Isa's confession of her lie about the drawing gets absolutely no reaction from Daryl because it had zero influence on what happened next. Daryl didn't stay cause he believed in a new Messiah, he stayed because the kid was about to get in trouble, when Codron attacked his home; he stayed because it was a way of finding help getting him closer to a radio or boat to actually get him home; he stayed so he could take the kid to a place where he would be safe, and Daryl could finally leave without feeling guilty.

the great Daryl and Isa exchange looks compilation is trying too hard to show us, yes, Daryl has made a connection to these people, and is fairly content at the Nest with Laurent and the most mundane activities like peeling potatoes. they are showing us Daryl could stay here, make this his new home. why not? HE MADE A PROMISE! no matter what he could never be happy here, this is not his HOME.

Losang gives him a way out, but also tries to convince him to stay. "Sometimes, when a person leaves home, he comes to find he belongs someplace else." and it's true, if Daryl didn't know where, with whom he belonged. and it's not with Laurent and Isa.

it's really embarrassing how Isa tries to manipulate and guilt trip Daryl into staying with them using Laurent and Daryl's history. it has been like 2 months tops, and they acting like Daryl himself gave birth to Laurent, and wants to abandon his kid. bitch please, he has kids he actually raised and a wife back home!!

Daryl resents his grandpa for abandoning the family to fight in someone else’s war, and that's exactly what he would be doing if he chose to stay in France. that's what Isa will never understand - he had a whole full life with people who looked up to him, relied on him, loved him, before he even met her and Laurent. he wasn't lost. the connection he found with the people there isn't new to him, he has Judith and RJ, he has Connie and Zeke. but most importantly, he has a HOME (Carol!!!).

there's this beautiful emotional moment of Daryl quietly saying goodbye to a sleeping Laurent, and it's clear this kid means a lot to him. however, not nearly enough to make him stay. he still chooses to LEAVE. so many people trying to convince him he belongs with them, and he is still 10000000% sure he has to go back. there truly is ZERO hesitation.

i lost count how many times Daryl actually tried to leave, but it was always the kid's safety that kept him around again and again. he is so close to getting on that boat, literally fiercely fighting walkers to get to the beach, to get closer to HOME, and the same happens AGAIN. biggest FML moment for Daryl. Laurent, who is surrounded by walkers, is calling his name! FUCK ME!

and finally, we get to the highlight of this finale, Carol's badass entry. the way she's so absolutely calm with a big dude pointing a gun at her, PLEASE. she knows he's fucked around and is about to find out. no one takes Daryl's belongings and gets away with it.

"if you're lying, i won't be back." and she rides off on Daryl's bike. ICONIC. LEGENDARY. EPIC.

21 days left until the premiere of THE BOOK OF CAROL!!!!!