#we reached over 200 followers omg

[callmesel]

I'm sorry but how can I just discover that people ask to be each others leprechauns in St Patrick's day??

I can imagine Oliver asking Percy to be his:

[kingkat12]

can i watch? (roman godfrey x reader)

WARNINGS: 18+, masturbation, voyeurism, sub-ish!roman, praise-kink, fluff lol

summary: who would've thought Roman would be okay with you watching him jerk off?

word count: 1,050

a/n: celebrating 200 followers with this little drabble!! love u guys omg i'm screaming?? thank u thank u thank u!!!!!<33

When I finally caved and told Roman my deepest, most embarrassing wish in bed, I never dreamt that he would actually be into it.

Then again, this was Roman— I should’ve expected that he’d be up for absolutely everything.

He had one arm around me as he occasionally turned his head to press sweet kisses against my jaw. Roman’s green eyes sparkled with both intrigue and want, unable to take his eyes off the way my lips parted at the sight before me. There was no way to contain my astoundment— he was so pretty. Way too damn pretty.

It was damn near impossible not to revel in the sight; the way Roman worked his fingers around his cock, and the way small drops of pre-cum would gather at the pink tip and fall down along his length. I definitely never thought he’d say yes to this, but here he was, letting me watch him get off. It had always been a bit of a fantasy of mine, despite not being able to put my finger on exactly why. It was something about the way his lashes fluttered, heavy with the weight of pleasure, as his chest raised with small, almost inaudible gasps for air.

I reached out to run my fingers through his hair, pulling him in for a kiss. If I stared at it all for too long, I was afraid I’d not be able to let him finish alone as I had asked him to. My heart fluttered as I heard Roman groan softly against my lips, his breathing growing heavier and laboured.

“It’s cute that you— ah, wanted this,” Roman murmured, kissing my cheek in the process as I watched his cock twitch in his fist. “Unexpected.”

I hummed, my fingers ghosting over his chest in soothing motions. “I’ve thought about you like this many times,” I decided that I'd straight-up confess; there was no going back anymore. "Especially when we first started dating... It was always on my mind."

“Yeah?”

“Fuck, yeah,” Leaning down to leave several wet kisses against his neck, I could only smile as I heard Roman’s breath hitch; a rarity. “Always wondered what you’d look like when you were all alone.”

Roman had to slow down, letting out a shaky breath. It was intense to see him like this— it wasn’t always that I could get a proper look at him during sex. But now? Oh my. “I always think about you when I do this, y’know?” he said, pressing a kiss against the shell of my ear which had shivers running down my spine within seconds. 

I could already feel my blush creeping up my cheeks, turning to meet his keen, green gaze. “You do?”

“Always,” Roman's kisses trailed down, now softly nipping at my jaw. “How you moan when I fuck you… And the way you look when you cum, the way you feel around my cock... Shit, I— I could go on?”

Something about getting Roman talking was intriguing. He was always such a fucking enigma, so who was I to deny a little peek beyond his curtain of mysteries? “And how do I look when I cum?” I asked, suppressing a giggle; it was certainly not a question I thought I would be asking any time soon. Actually, everything about this situation made me want to squeal like a little girl and jump him, completely thrilled that he was doing this for me. 

The memory of my walls flutterings around his cock seemed to really do it for Roman— he closed his eyes, his grip around his length tightening as he threw his head back against the pillow. “So fucking hot,” he breathed, now rambling. “You— You always get a little louder, and then you usually cling to me a little harder… And your nails dig into my back as you moan my name, and— Oh, fuck!” He quickly let go of himself, panting as he glanced down to check whether he had been too late or not.

My eyes were wide with love and adoration, unable to look away from the sight of him completely and utterly unraveled. Hearing Roman say these things about me was making my heart flutter in ways it had never done before—The fact that he thought about me like this, that it made him this hot and bothered… I was afraid my brain would melt from the heat. “You’re doing so good,” I cooed, leaning forward to press a kiss against Roman’s forehead as my fingers stroked through his tousled hair.

With that, he let out a sound that sounded an awful lot like a whimper; “Don’t say it like that,” he breathed, a slight blush creeping up his cheeks. “You’re killing me here.”

I looked down just in time to see his cock twitch once more, along with Roman’s hand immediately returning to his aching need. Something told me I had struck gold; I pressed my lips against his temple, giving his hair a gentle tug as I spoke; “You’re doing so good for me, Rome,”

Roman bit his lip, hoping to suppress his next shaky breath. “Shut up,”

“Such a good boy,” I didn’t even try to hide the smirk that spread across my lips as I watched Roman’s hips buck up into his hand, pre-cum dripping down all over his long fingers. 

“Yeah?” he whimpered, a grunt following as he surrendered. I knew Roman was close by the way he sped up, his body tensing with anticipation as his lips parted in pleasure.

This was almost too much for me as well, the hard beating of my heart giving away my own arousal. “You’re perfect,” I breathed, leaning down to press a kiss against his cheek.

I wasn’t sure whether it was a whimper or a groan that Roman let out, but as his hips bucked up into his fist once more, I pulled away to watch thick ropes of cum seep out of his cock, decorating his toned lower abdomen. Roman threw his head back, letting out a rather breathy moan as his cock twitched, the last remnants leaking down his shaft. 

I held my breath as I watched the scene before me, the whole image of it etching itself into my brain. “Rome, holy fuck,” I knew I was definitely going to replay this in my head in times of need. 

Definitely.

(a/n: cue the inspo lol)

[lovelettersforthedamned]

re: “congrats on 200 followers, lovely!! you deserve 100x more! could i request 8 from the angst prompt + hurt/comfort 5 ❄️❄️”

oh my gosh i didn’t even realise i forgot to put a character - suppose that’s what happens when you spend all night on tumblr 😭 tasm Peter or Matt Murdock pls <333

Priorities

--genre: angst :(

--pairing: matt murdock x gn!reader

--word count: 1.1k

--warnings: language, mentions of alcohol, arguing, matt is the king of self sabotage, angst.

i'm a sucker for some good angst omg

“He hasn’t been alright (Y/N),” Karen sighs, “when he’s here he’s on edge. I know he can hear things we can’t, but it’s like…it’s like he’s not really here.”

You’re sitting next to her at Josie’s bartop, the crowd is mellow on this rainy Wednesday night. You can tell Karen is genuinely concerned about Matt, the look in her eye tells you so. You’re running through the possible reasons why your boyfriend could be feeling this way, but you draw a blank. You furrow your eyebrows, frustrated, “He’s been quiet lately, but he never brings it up.” 

The blonde in front of you takes another sip of her drink before she clears her throat, “I don’t know what’s going on, but I have a feeling it has something to do with the devil.”

You can only nod your head. You hate when Matt gets in over his head about his nightly activities, it’s hard when you can’t do anything about it, not like he lets you anyway. “I’ll keep an eye out for him the next few days,” you reach into your wallet for cash, “just keep me updated about how he is at work, okay?”

She stands with you from the seat, giving you a tight hug as you say your goodbyes, and heading home to your apartments. You can’t help but think about Matt the entire walk home, your mind taking you to dark places. It wasn’t hard to worry about him, considering the fact that he loves to push himself past the limit more often than not. 

You would never tell him to stop, right? 

***

For the next few days, you start to pay attention to Matt when he’s home. The first thing you notice is that he seems to always be in a rush. He’s quick to get ready for the day, and he’s quick to get ready for the night. You’re not sure where this sudden boost in drive has come from, but what Matt doesn’t realize is that the quicker he riles himself up, the harder he plummets. 

You’ve gotten multiple texts from Karen during the day that Matt is blowing up on Foggy while clients are in the room. You know that something’s wrong, and you don’t know how to fix it, but you have to try. 

Later that day, you caught Matt putting his suit on to go out into the city, the sun draining the light away from your apartment. As he’s about to put his helmet on, your voice interrupts his movements, “Matty, can we talk real quick?”

He sighs, already walking away from you, “I’m about to leave, can we talk later?” 

“How long have you been feeling like you need to do more for the city when you do more than enough?” 

Your question catches him off guard, he stops in his tracks, his back facing you. He can hear that your heart is beating faster than normal, the question making you nervous. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he responds, quickly. 

You cannot help but laugh at his response, “You’re a terrible liar.” 

Shaking his head out of frustration, he takes a deep breath, “You don’t need to worry about anything that I do when I’m out at night, trust me.”

“Another shitty lie, Matty,” you walk towards him. Once you reach his back, you raise your hand to hold his arm, giving it a soft squeeze. Unconsciously, he leans into your touch. You know that he’s been craving this kind of softness since he started to act differently. “You know that I still worry, even though you tell me not to. I can’t help it,” you speak softly. 

And suddenly, it’s like his hard demeanor returned with a flip of a switch, “I need to get out there (Y/N),” he shrugs his arm out of your hold. You’re left there standing like an idiot in the middle of the living room as you watch your boyfriend walk away from you. You can’t help but feel angry, it’s like everything you said went through one ear and spilled out the other. Turning on your heel you walk to the closet, pulling down the suitcase, letting it slam on the floor. You don’t care. 

The obvious slam caught Matt’s attention, his worries now focused on you. He hears more shuffling coming from your shared bedroom, along with sniffles. He calls out to you, before walking to you, “(Y/N)?” 

He’s met with no response, just the sounds of your muffled sobs and the rustling of clothes. As he gets closer to you, he can taste the salt in the air as your tears stream down your face, and suddenly he’s panicking. “I never wanted it to get to this point,” you zip up the suitcase as you rise to your feet, Matt’s sudden appearance scaring you as you see his figure. 

His eyes are darting back and forth as he tries to de-escalate the situation, yet his tone is still sharp,  “What point?” 

You’re still a mess, running your hand across your eyes to wipe your tears, you smear your makeup across your skin. With an uneven breath, you respond, “You’ve reached the point where you stop valuing yourself and the people around you to dig your own grave, Matthew.” You try to make your way around Matt, but he doesn’t make it easy as he holds your shoulders, keeping you in place. 

“Don’t make me do this,” he says quietly, “don’t make me choose.”

You think that you’ve actually gotten through to him, you hope a sense of clarity has finally washed through his senses. Until you see his head twitch, his ear lifting towards the air. You can’t hear anything, but you know that he already has an exact location of whatever commotion is happening in the streets of Hell’s Kitchen. 

With your boyfriend distracted, you shrug his hands off your shoulders, “Looks like I didn’t have to make you choose, you’ve already figured out your answer yourself.” 

As you’re walking out of the bedroom and towards the front door of the apartment, Matt calls for you, “I’ll be back in a few hours, then we can talk, okay? Just–please, don’t go anywhere.”

And just like that, he slips out of the window, not even waiting for your response. Maybe Matt’s heart will never fully belong to you, and you should’ve known that when you first met him. He has always and will always dedicate himself to the city, and you’ll just have to come to terms with not being his priority. That is if you stay. 

--author's note: I KNOW THAT MY 200 FOLLOWER CELEBRATION IS DONE, BUT I HAD A BURNOUT PERIOD SO HERE'S ONE LAST FIC!!! ❄️ anon this is such a good request, thank youuuu! don't forget to like, comment, and reblog to support me and your fav writers! my asks/inbox is open, so send me your juicy ideas baes...ok, bye ily<3333

[bp-zb1fics]

My heart keeps on

pairing: na kamden x secret s/o reader

pronouns: none used

genre: canonverse  (finale), angst ish, fluff

tw/tags: long distance relationship, very emo in general, a lot of tears LIKE A LOT, you surprise kamden twice, citing ep 12 as my ref for all this, kinda secret relationship, realities of dating a trainee/idol, reunions so more emo, cuddles, cheek kissing, using a pic as a page break, yes the title is fr kam’s rap in switch ty for noticing 💜

wc: 2178

summary: kamden hasn’t seen you in over a year. you surprise him.

a/n this was supposed to be a gift fic for 101 followers but y'all are 200 now 😭😱 omg so thanks so much for supporting my little blog!!! I know this took a little longer than expected so thanks so much for patiently waiting! 💜Special thanks to the anon who sent me an ask about missing kamden and especially to @seok02 for giving me the motivation to finish this fic and kinda just helping me with the overall process 💜💜💜

check my pinned for more fics!

“Star Creator, we always thank you and love you!”

They wrap up the pajama party livestream, thanking the staff and staying to chat as the cameras are switched off. (Or so they think, lol)

“The vibe was pretty good,” Kamden tells Matthew. The other boy agreeing instantly.

“I think we were able to show new sides of ourselves.”

Suddenly the staff play a recording, surprising them all. It’s video messages from Star creators all over the world for them to watch. Kamden grabs a fluffy pillow as he watches everyone slowly get emotional. Seungeon cries. Zhang Hao cries. Yujin cries. Almost everyone is crying. 

Kamden gets a message from a fan in Norway, which is pretty cool. Then, something he never expected happens. He recognises your voice before he even realises it’s you.

“Kamden, annyeong~”

The pillow falls off his lap.

It’s you. It’s really you. You who he hasn’t been able to video call in a few days because of practice and your schedule and the time difference. He almost calls out your name but it sits tight in his throat, unable to reach you. 

You’re on screen, wearing one of the shirts you’ve stolen from him, holding onto the plushie he bought for you at that silly little shop after you insisted it looked like him. God, he hasn’t seen you in over a year.

“Dude, you okay?” Jay asks him softly.

He must look like an idiot, eyes blown wide, mouth slightly open, hanging onto every word that comes out of your mouth.

“I’ve been watching Boy’s Planet since the teasers were released. And you’ve always been my favourite.”

Kamden knows. You’ve been spamming your chat with him with all these little clips from the PR videos to the behind the scenes footage. Screenshots of you voting for him on the Mnet+ app, comments you’ve left on his fancam videos, even the funny memes you found of him on Twitter all greet him when he opens his phone after practice.

Hope my favourite trainee is doing well and staying healthy! Take care of yourself and know I’m always rooting for you! I love and miss you so much! Hoping for your debut!

Your messages are his favourite. And speaking of:

“I’ve made a little compilation of photos right here. I hope you like how I decorated them, I really tried my best~”

All the trainees ooh and ahh over the handmade album you bring up to the screen compiled with photos of him from the program and cute little notes and stickers. Kamden can’t move, can’t talk. 

Because that’s your album, the one you had insisted on starting when he and you began dating. He knows that if you flipped to the other pages, it would be full of photos of both of you, dates, anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, awards that either of you might have won, events that were important to you or him or both of you, everything carefully labelled. It was one of your favourite things to print out all the photos and he’d help you decorate them.

He can’t believe you kept that up after he left for Korea.

“You’ve stood out to me in every performance. You’re so talented and so many people are cheering you on so please remember to have confidence in yourself.” Your voice wavers a little towards the end of the sentence and as slight as it is, he catches that. He knows you.

Kamden only registers the wetness on his cheeks when the tears are already going, fast and furious. He reaches up, trying to dab them away gently with his sleeve. On screen, you blink rapidly and he knows you’re trying your best not to cry either. Even thousands of miles away, on a video you probably recorded weeks ago, you and him are still in sync. Maybe the rest of the trainees don’t see it but he does. Of course he does.

“I hope you take care of yourself always. Make sure to eat enough and get enough rest. I’ll be voting for you everyday so just do your best in practice and performing and us Star Creators will take care of the rest. We’ll support you so you can achieve your dream of debuting~”

To everyone else, you were just a particularly supportive fan. But to Kamden, you were his person, the one he was devoted to and he can’t help it, sobbing a little into his sleeve. Several pats on the back as the other trainees around him try to comfort him. He can’t help but cry even more. Why were you so far away? Why couldn’t you be here where he could hug you and kiss you and just be with you?

“Na Kamden hwaiting! Saranghae~”

That’s it. He turns and buries his face fully into his hands as if doing that would soak up all the tears that won’t stop coming. Matthew and Jay have scooted over, voices overlapping as they rub his shoulders and back and ask what’s wrong. Even Zhang Hao’s hovering a little on the side, equally concerned.

Maybe he’ll say something later, when there are no mics and no cameras. He’s been training for years and you’ve both agreed that in a career like the one he aspires to get into, keeping it quiet would be the best. Idols don’t date. Idols don’t have a significant other in a whole other country that they call when they can find free time. Even when it comes to casual conversation where there isn’t a camera directly trained on them, Kamden just doesn’t say anything.

They do ask him later. And when he says you’re a close friend he hasn’t seen in awhile, their faces light up in recognition. He leaves it at that.

You walk into the arena with a little trepidation. 

It’s all been a blur. Packing your things, flying to Korea, meeting up with Kamden’s mom and brother who have been kind enough to get you a ticket pass for the family section. Of course, he has no idea you’re even here.

You’re quite a bit more nervous about surprising him than you thought. While you’d give anything to see him again, it was a little risky in such a public venue with so many people watching and cameras everywhere filming almost any angle. Maybe you can be discreet enough if you do break down but Kamden’s on stage, the spotlights bright and on him. Fans are probably filming him on their own devices.

At this point, you’ll just have to trust your boyfriend to keep his reactions to a believable level. You don’t stand too close to his family, trying to keep your distance but also staying near enough that you’d be in the same general direction if Kamden glanced your way.

You end up on the side, along with a few other people who seem to be dressed as discreetly as you, masks on too. The looks you exchange seem to come to a general understanding of why you’re all here and who you’re here for.

Kamden doesn’t notice you when the Top 18 first file in. You don’t expect him to but you see him though. There’s a growing knot in your stomach, emotions welling up from actually seeing him not through a screen but so close that you could walk on stage and touch him. You don’t do that, of course. But still, he’s so near that it almost hurts not being able to throw yourself into his arms for a hug.

You’ve wanted this so much, especially after more than a year of not seeing him. But right now, you feel frozen. You only watch as they start getting into positions for the signal song. Fans are cheering, even the family members and friends of the trainees are calling out words of support. Still, your voice sticks to your throat, as much as you want to shout out, something keeps you from doing it.

Good thing Kamden’s brother does it for you. It probably surprises you and his mom more than it should but who can blame you when he almost never does that? Kamden’s surprised too, maybe it’s a twin thing but he immediately stands up straighter looking for where his brother’s voice is coming from.

And then he sees you.

His eyes meet yours and they widen considerably. His mouth even drops open a little. You’re smiling so much and you’re sure it shows from how your eyes crinkle, just a little glossy. But you’re not going to cry just yet. Instead, you wave at him. He can’t do much more than give a little wave back before they seem to be ready to start filming. 

Suddenly, your heart feels just a little lighter. You step back and watch him dance the signal song. You’ve seen him do it a thousand times, every time you stream his video. It feels so surreal, being able to see it like this, right in front of you. When the song ends, you see his eyes flick back in your direction, searching for your face. When he finds it, his expression brightens.

It’s amazing, watching someone you love do what they love. Sure, you’ve seen Kamden dance, you’ve gotten him to sing and even rap for you a little before. But it’s different with the stage and the lights and the crowd and he looks so comfortable there. You laugh when you see the Jelly Pop teaser, maybe you’ll get him to wear that dress again, just so you can get photos. The final song is almost bittersweet and you try your best but a few tears do slip out.

He’s messaged you about barely making it to the finale, you’ve monitored the program, watched his rank. You both know his chances are slim. But they’re possible. Still, he’s told you that he’s prepared for the equal possibility of not debuting. His company should have plans, he assured you. You watch him walk over to every one of his fellow trainees who’ve made it to debut, offering hugs and congratulating them. And as the number of spots dwindle, you keep your hopes up but you begin to accept it as well.

By the time they’ve called third, you watch as he walks over to Matthew, one of the trainees he’s closest with from what he’s told you. Maybe he lingers a little longer. Maybe you catch his eyes as he looks over. Hwaiting! You mouth, shaking your fists a little in encouragement. The emotions are swirling inside you. When the camera pans over to him, he’s teary eyed, covering his face the way he always does when he gets like that. You can’t help it. The emotions are starting to spill over and you breathe between the occasional tears.

After they announce the ninth place, everything suddenly starts moving so fast and so slow. They wrap up filming. The audience begins to file out. The cameras switch off one by one. You go backstage.

When he walks in, mic gone, still in that uniform that you keep teasing about, you don’t hold back. His arms wrap around you and you fall into him, holding him so tightly you wish you didn’t need to let go. And then both of you start crying.

“I missed you so much, Kam.” You’re holding onto the fabric of his jacket, gripping at it so desperately you’re almost afraid it might rip.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” He manages, his head somehow buried on your shoulder, tears soaking the cloth of your shirt.

“Surprise?” It comes out weak, a little shaky as you both laugh brokenly through your sobs.

“I can’t believe you’re here.” He holds you even tighter, like he’s afraid you might fade into thin air.

“I’ll be here for a while.” You tell him. “I wish I could’ve come sooner but-”

“It’s okay seriously, you’re here now.” If he squeezes you anymore, you feel like your heart might burst. “I’m so happy to see you.”

He goes back with you. There’s few brief introductions to Jay and Matthew and a few other trainees he’s grown close with, nudges and knowing looks and raised eyebrows. But it’s nothing to stress about, you manage to make it back under the radar.

You feel him watching you as you grab a few more things from your suitcase after both of you have showered and you’re wearing another one of his old shirts. Before you know it, your legs are tangled together, your head resting on his shoulder, your hands intertwined. 

“I don’t want to sleep,” he says quietly. “I don’t want to wake up and find out this is a dream and you aren’t here.”

“You aren’t dreaming, Kam.” You reassure him, lifting your head to kiss his cheek. Even in the privacy of this room, he blushes.

“Even if I didn’t make it, at least I have you.”

“You do, Kam. You always do.” And you know he will make it, one day.

[amity-moonrise]

WE HIT 100!!!!!!!

I’m so happy rn omg we finally reached 100!!!!

If we can reach at least 150 or 200 im gonna be so ecstatic (especially because we wanted to surpass a certain someone in followers (our ex))

I’m so glad yall chose to stay even after all the stupid shit ive done over the few months 😭 (ill admit, ive made my fair share of mistakes on here)

Our next goal is gonna be 125, so if you can, we would appreciate it if you could share our blog, especially to other systems out there who are looking for support or friends, or are struggling to find anti endo blogs.

Thank yall sm for the past couple months!!!!!

[becca-e-barnes]

Make It Up To Me, Barnes

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word count: 4.3k

Warnings: Arguments, divorce mention, Bucky struggles with communication, alcohol consumption, unprotected sex (wrap it), edging, size kink, Daddy kink, fingering, we all know Bucky would be a hoe for his girl in a sundress let’s be real, Married!Bucky, good old fashioned makeup sex

Summary: Bucky and the reader have an argument and she leaves him, Steve convinces Bucky to talk it out with her. Complete smut but they work it out!!

A/N: I imagined this as hate sex with Bucky and turned out a bit softer than I expected, I just live for the thought of hate sex with Beefy Bucky omg. Also can’t believe I’m at over 200 followers now, thank you all so so much!!

Minors, do not interact

“Damn Buck, I still can’t believe you let that one get away.” Steve taunted as Bucky sipped his beer. Both men were sitting in the comfortable wicker garden furniture, drinking together and people watching the other guests at the party. It was your annual neighbourhood barbecue and truthfully, it was the perfect day for it. There was a light breeze but apart from that, it was stiflingly hot outside but that was to be expected in the middle of summer.

“Trust me, if you were married to her, you’d get it.” Bucky sighed, just a little hint of venom in his tone, downing what was left of his beer. Even Bucky had to admit, you were looking stunning. He couldn’t keep his eyes off you, the way that pretty little sundress made you look so modest and pure was killing him. You two had been married for a few years, with things getting rocky in the last few months. Bucky had been cold and distant, pushing you away, not answering your calls, giving you short answers and never turning up for dinner. Eventually things just broke down, despite your marriage councillor’s best efforts to get Bucky to open up. After one particularly bad argument a few weeks ago, you had packed up a bag and left, slamming the door behind you.

__________

“You don’t fucking try anymore Bucky! I do everything around this house and you don’t even bother to show up for dinner! I don’t know what I did to make you hate me but God, you’re really punishing me for it, aren’t you?” You had spat, finally reaching your breaking point when he hadn’t shown up on time for dinner for the sixth night in a row, leaving you eating alone yet again. “You don’t even touch me anymore, you hardly ever look at me, what did I do wrong?” You yelled, throwing the dishcloth to the ground in frustration. It was horrible not even being acknowledged in your own home, while you still slept in the same bed, you didn’t speak after the lights went out. All the dinners you made with love for Bucky sat in the fridge until you had to throw them out and with no explanation as to what was wrong, it was becoming soul destroying.

“Nothing, leave it.” Bucky had hissed, still not even looking at you.

“For God’s sake Bucky, it’s not ‘nothing’. Talk to me.” You pleaded, running a hand through your hair, at an absolute loss for what to do next. You had this argument weekly for the last few months, with nothing ever changing. It was always the same with Bucky, he just wanted you to drop it and leave him alone.

“Leave it, I mean it.” He insisted firmly, not budging an inch. His huge frame had almost been intimidating as he got up to leave the kitchen, running away from the conversation yet again.

“Bucky I’ve had it. I’m at my wits end. If you leave this kitchen, so help me God, I’m leaving you.” You threatened, tears spilling down your cheeks, both from frustration and the soul destroying pain of seeing the love of your life shut you down, once again. Bucky hadn’t spoke, he just kept walking down the short hall to your living room, slamming the door behind him. Unshed tears spilled quickly and you felt your heart break in your chest. How had things got this bad? Your vision was blurry with tears as you packed a bag, stuffing some clothes into a duffle roughly, with little thought or care as to whether anything matched. You could hear the TV blaring through the living room door as you gave one last glance to the room your husband was in, before turning and heading out the front door and getting in your car.

___________

“Still think you should’ve just talked to her. She was good for you Buck.” Steve offered, making the dark haired man furrow his brow even more than it was before.

“I spent enough of my life being controlled Steve, I didn’t need some nagging wife trying to control me too.” Bucky snorted with derision. Deep down, he knew he could’ve been more open and honest with you and he knew it would’ve saved both of you from a whole lot of heartache but he was in far too deep to admit his mistake now. The worst part was he knew everything you were doing had come from a place of love. You hadn’t been trying to control him but once he let his head get the better of him, there was no coming back from it.

“From where I’m sitting, it looks like she only ever tried to take care of you. The girl just wanted to make sure you ate properly for God’s sake. I don’t see why you let her leave you.” Steve’s disapproval of the circumstances of your breakup was more than evident. He didn’t even try to hide the fact he thought losing you was the biggest mistake Bucky had ever made. He would’ve been happy to keep his opinions on your separation to himself if it hadn’t been for the fact that he had witnessed first hand how miserable Bucky had been since you split, no matter how hard he tried to pretend he was fine. Bucky didn’t reply and opened another beer instead, pressing the cool rim of the bottle to his lips. His eyes hadn’t left you all evening, watching as you swayed happily with the hem of your sundress flowing around your knees. You had hardly even looked in his direction, truly seeming like you were thriving after your split. The thought of you moving on ate him up inside. He couldn’t help but wonder if you were seeing someone new, it had been almost a couple of months after all, you could’ve found someone else in that time. The thought of anyone else touching you was more than he could bear, making his knuckles of his flesh hand turn white from how hard he gripped the beer bottle.

You had made your way around most of the crowd at the party giving lemonade top ups before you decided you should probably offer some to your ex-lover to save face. The knot in your stomach pointed out exactly how you would rather do literally anything other than go over and make painful small talk with the man you had lost but you still loved with all your heart.

“Lemonade, boys?” You offered with a smile, only letting yourself look at Steve and not at the man who was still technically your husband.

“Yeah y/n, sounds great, doesn’t it Buck?” Steve encouraged, lifting his glass to let you fill it. Bucky only nodded in response, doing everything in his power to not look at your legs trying to stop wondering if someone else was spreading them these days.

“Here ya go Buck.” You smiled curtly, bending at the waist to fill his glass that he hadn’t even bothered to lift off the grass. Bucky drew in a sharp breath at how close you were to him and how your sundress rode up just a little, showing off those gorgeous thighs.

“Thanks.” He huffed when you straightened again, doing his best not to look at the little jiggle of your ass as you walked away, taking lemonade to another little group of neighbours.

“Christ Bucky, that was painful. You need to talk to her. Sort things out.” Steve insisted, noticing the little breath Bucky let out now that you were gone. In truth, he hadn’t even realised he was holding it.

“Yeah.” Bucky huffed out simply, leaving Steve unsure if he actually meant it or not.

_____________

The rest of the party was pretty uneventful, you relaxed on a picnic blanket, chatting to some of the other ladies about the books you were all currently reading before helping with the dishes and clearing up. Almost everyone had went home already when their kids had got tired, drained from running around all afternoon in the summer heat. You had spent the best part of the last hour stretched out on the picnic blanket alone, just enjoying the light evening breeze, reading one of the books your neighbour had let you borrow.

“Buck if you don’t go talk to her, I will.” Steve threatened, noticing how Bucky was staring at you yet again.

“You wouldn’t.” The dark haired man hissed, eyes never leaving you. It killed him to admit how lost he was without you but the fear of you rejecting him, confirming his suspicion that you were doing just fine without him was more than he could handle.

“Try me.” Steve replied curtly, watching as his friend’s expression became even more annoyed. Bucky’s jaw was tense as he pulled himself up from the wicker chair, crossing the short distance to where you sat on the blanket.

“Can we talk?” Bucky asked as calmly as he could, his huge frame blocking the sunlight.

“I don’t know? Can we?” You replied, being as short with him as possible, stomach flipping with nerves at having to make awkward conversation for the first time in weeks.

“Maybe somewhere more private? Back home?” He suggested, ignoring how difficult you were trying to be. He knew you had every right to make this worse on him, it was his own fault after all.

“Fine.” You huffed, closing the book and standing up, dusting down the little skirt of your dress. Bucky led the way back to your house, only a few doors up from the little park that you had just spent the afternoon in. God you wished your heart could slow down, praying that he wasn’t just taking you back home to sign the divorce papers. You both walked in silence, Bucky unlocked the door and held it open for you, letting you walk inside and then closing it behind him. The house seemed exactly as it had when you left it and you were thankful for that at least.

“How’ve you been?” He asked softly, getting both of you a beer from the fridge, popping the cap off with his metal thumb. That had always been his favourite party trick. You took the bottle from him gratefully, settling into a chair at your kitchen island before taking a sip.

“Been busy.” You offered quietly. You knew you couldn’t say you were good, Bucky would’ve seen right through the lie. He just nodded, taking a sip from his own bottle.

“Missed you.” Bucky admitted, looking anywhere but your face. You didn’t say anything in response, just taking another sip from your bottle. There was so much you could’ve said, you missed him too, he could’ve called, things didn’t have to be like this but instead you kept your lips pressed tightly shut.

“You look good. Happy.” Bucky had barely whispered the last word, making you question whether he had even said it at all.

“And are you? Happy? Enjoying life as a single man?” You asked, giving him a little smile, heart breaking into a million pieces and just praying your eyes didn’t show it.

“No doll, I’m not. Miss having you around.” He seemed so much smaller, leaning against the other side of the kitchen island, beer resting on the dark granite countertop. “Miss waking up beside you, miss kissing you goodbye when you go off to work, miss your cooking.” He continued, finally daring to look you in the eye. The lump in your throat felt like it might consume you, tears welling in your eyes.

“You haven’t done any of that in months Buck. Even before we separated.” You pointed out.

“You with someone else now?” He asked, voice more than a little broken.

“No Buck, there’s no one else.” You reassured him, noticing how he stood up a little straighter. “Never wanted anyone but you. Thought you knew that.” His eyes seemed to light up at your little admission. He still had a chance. He could still win you back and spend the rest of his life making up for the fact he had been so damn stupid. Before he knew what he was doing, he had rounded the island and captured your lips in a searing kiss, hands clinging desperately to your hair. His huge thumbs caressed your cheeks and you couldn’t help but lean into his touch. God you had missed this, the passion and need that came with loving Bucky Barnes. His mouth was hungry on yours, making up for months of longing all at once. He clung to you desperately, his mouth moving against yours like a man starved. You couldn’t help but melt into his touch, his huge frame warm and comforting and familiar against your own, making you feel tiny.

“Missed you. So much.” He panted between needy kisses, not even taking the time to pull his lips from yours as he uttered the words.

“Missed. You. Too.” You managed to mumble back, tugging on his belt loops to pull him impossibly closer. Before you knew it, Bucky had lifted you up, gripping your ass with his flesh hand before placing you gently on the kitchen island, his lips never leaving yours as he did so.

“ ‘m so sorry doll, for everything.” He whispered, his bright blue eyes showing just how sincere he was, slotting comfortably between your thighs.

“Make it up to me, Barnes.” You whispered with a little smirk, crashing your lips against his again, needing this just as much as he did. A low growl was ripped from his throat at how fiercely your tongue slid over his, the need to feel you again almost consuming him. His hands slipped under the skirt of your little sundress, grasping the soft skin of your thighs firmly, the metal one feeling cooler against your skin than the other.

“Shit baby doll, you’re absolutely dripping.” He hissed, snaking his flesh hand to the apex of your thighs, finding them slick already, your underwear had been soaked through long ago. You could only moan in response, holding the back of his neck, lips parted, as his finger tips ghosted over the soaked lace. “Look so pretty like this doll, so ready for me and I haven’t even touched you yet.” His fingers barely teasing the thin material.

“You’re not in any position to tease Bucky.” You hummed, voice barely above a whisper. Looking dead in his eyes, you could see how badly he needed this, how he was thriving off the little moans and sighs he pulled from your lips.

“You’re right toots, bet you’ve missed these fingers. No one makes you cum like I do, not even yourself, isn’t that right? Bet even when you touched yourself it didn’t feel as good as when I do it. Your fingers just don’t make you feel as full as mine do.” You hated how every last one of his words had been right. He could play your body like a violin, knowing exactly how to coax orgasm after orgasm from you when he wanted to, leaving you with shaking legs and that fucked out look in your eyes that he loved so much. He pulled your underwear aside painfully slowly, trailing just one finger from your clit to your needy hole, before swiping back up again. His touch was still featherlight, only teasing but it was enough to drive you wild. Ever so slowly, he dragged his finger down your pussy once more, slipping it in you up to the first knuckle, connecting his plump lips with your neck at the same time. The light dusting of his beard scratching against your neck as he sucked you brutally, finger sliding deeper was almost too much. After each dark hickey he sucked, he made sure to soothe the tender skin with his tongue, pulling moans from you that were nothing short of obscene.

“Need everyone to know you’re mine. My wife.” He half groaned against your skin, admiring the dark bruises forming. He couldn’t help but love how you rutted against his finger desperately, needing more of him.

“Bucky please.” You pleaded, looking at him with that soft expression that made his heart melt.

“What do you need baby doll?” Bucky cooed, holding your face with his metal hand, curling his flesh fingers inside you until he hit that sweet spot you couldn’t reach on your own. He was truly obsessed with how your face warped into the perfect vision of pleasure, mouth falling open, eyes squeezing shut as he tore a groan from your bruised throat.

“Need more.” You managed to huff out, keeping your eyes closed, grinding helplessly against his hand. The sight of your plump, wet lips, parted ever so slightly as you rode his hand could almost have made him cum then and there.

“Anything for you toots.” He smiled, plunging a second finger into you, groaning at the stretch of your walls as you accommodated him. “Even tighter than I remember baby doll.” He praised. You could only whimper as his fingers flexed and curled within you, the wet sounds coming from your pussy were nothing short of obscene but that only fuelled him, making him work your body faster. “You’re so close toots, you wanna cum for me? You gonna be a good girl and cum on my fingers?” He coaxed, bringing his metal hand down to rub your clit in time with his thrusts. You nodded weakly, letting him work your body in the way only he knew. “Who owns this little pussy?” He asked, feeling you reach your peak but stilling his fingers before you had a chance to fall over the edge, letting the sharp edge of you impending orgasm fade.

“You do Bucky! My pussy is yours!” You gasped, willing to do anything if it meant he would just let you cum.

“Damn right it is.” He growled lowly, lips finding his way back to your throat as he let his fingers continue bringing you blinding pleasure. It didn’t take long for him to send you spiralling into the most intense orgasm, your body tightening, clenching and gushing around his fingers. You practically screamed his name as you rode out your high, grasping his wrist and clamping your trembling thighs shut around his hands as he continued, tearing every last wave of pleasure from your body. “Fucking delicious baby doll.” He groaned, sucking the evidence of your orgasm from his fingers. You huffed out a little laugh, running a hand through your hair to steady yourself, leaning back on your other arm for support. “You’re like a fuckin’ wet dream sitting there, you know that?” He smiled, taking in the sight of his wife in her pretty little sundress, panties pushed to the side and thighs slick with arousal. “Hair all messy, lipstick ruined, pretty little pussy on display to the world.” His words sent a shiver down your spine, sparks of need shooting through your body. “Can’t believe how stupid I was to let you leave.” His tone got a little more serious, blue eyes full of regret.

“Hey, I’m back now. No harm done.” You soothed, opening your arms so he could slot himself between your thighs and hug you close. The scent of his familiar cologne was all you needed, little kisses peppered against your shoulder as Bucky buried his face in the crook of your neck. “Now take me to bed and fuck me like our marriage depends on it.” You laughed quietly, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek.

“No pressure then.” He chuckled, scooping you off the counter and carrying you gracelessly to the bedroom, both of you laughing together as he did so. “You know, half of me wants you to keep that pretty little dress on.” He smiled, setting you down on the bed gently, layering his body of top of yours so he could press needy kisses to your lips.

“Oh yeah? And what does the other half of you want?” You teased, fingertips digging into his firm back.

“To rip it off you.” He replied simply, fingers playing with the hem of the skirt. “Gently though, want to make sure it stays in one piece. Looks so damn good on you, gotta show you off some more.”

“Make up your mind Barnes, you can’t have both.” You laughed, unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning his jeans, pushing them down his legs.

“Take it off.” He decided, pushing his jeans the rest of the way down before pulling his shirt over his head. He watched hungrily as you rose to your knees on the bed, pulling the dress up over your head before letting it fall to the floor. “No bra? God, you really are a wet dream.” Bucky all but groaned, joining you on the bed, his lips sliding against your own as he pulled your underwear down your legs. You placed both hands on his firm chest, pushing him back onto the plush pillows, slotting one leg either side of him, leaving you straddling his waist. You couldn’t help but rut against him through his boxers. He felt absolutely huge, so long and thick, nestling perfectly between your folds. Little whines escaped your mouth as you lost yourself in pleasure, not even needing him inside you for him to make you feel incredible.

“Soaking me toots, you know that?” He growled in your ear and you gripped the headboard for leverage, practically humping his clothed cock. “Making such a fucking mess, little slut, you like soaking daddy’s cock like that? Like feeling how hard I get for you? Don’t you want more baby? Or is just Rockin’ against my cock like that enough to make you cum?” His hands gripped your thighs tight, helping you to slick him up.

“Need to fuck you.” You gasped out, finally pulling his boxers off and positioning yourself above him once more, sinking down onto his cock slowly. The stretch was almost unbearable, your eagerness to have him inside you conflicting with the pain of your walls fighting to accommodate him.

“Too big for you baby doll? Been too long since you took daddy’s cock, hmm? Promise you won’t ever have to go without it again. Daddy’s gonna take good care of you, promise.” His filthy growls only made you sink down onto him faster, despite the pain until he was fully seated inside you. “You wanna fuck daddy princess? Wanna see you use me. Use me to make yourself cum. Don’t worry your pretty little head about me, just want you to cum as hard as you can, you got it baby doll?” He asked softly, cradling your face in his metal hand as you began to rut back and forth, loving how his cock hit the deepest spots inside you.

“You feel so good, so big Bucky, you’re so big.” You sobbed out, feeling the head of his cock nudge that sweet spot deep inside you. Bucky thrust up into you harshly, making you yelp.

“Think you mean daddy, toots?” He teased, thumb placed on your chin to make you look down at him. He looked absolutely perfect underneath you, hair messy, wet tongue poking out to soothe the lips that you had assaulted earlier. His hand went back to your thighs, helping you grind messily on his cock.

“Need more daddy please. Need you to -ah- need to cum.” Your whines were practically cries at this point as Bucky slid two flesh fingers between your bodies, nudging perfectly against your clit.

“That’s it, good girl, get nice and full and fuck yourself against daddy’s fingers. Look so good like this for me angel, so so pretty. Stuffed full of cock and rutting on my fingers like a needy little slut. Such a pretty girl.” He praised, making you speed up. His fingers nudged your clit just right, making you mewl. Bucky began to press his fingers against your clit just that little bit harder, sending you reeling into your second orgasm of the night. Before you could even come down from your high, Bucky had flipped you, laying you on your back with him on top of you, fucking you roughly through the aftershocks. You were practically screaming for him as he thrust into you, making sure you felt every last inch of his cock. You were so overstimulated it almost hurt as Bucky fucked months worth of need into your body.

“Love you doll.” He whispered, not slowing down at all before sliding his tongue over yours, all passion and longing and need.

“Jesus, Buck, cum for me, please Bucky.” You whimpered, grasping at his back and shoulders, fingernails digging into his flesh.

“This pussy is mine.” He growled lowly, hips stuttering as he came with a long, drawn out groan, filling you completely. Cum dripped out of you before he could even pull out, marking you completely and utterly as his. After a few minutes, he flopped onto the bed beside you, pulling you close and kissing your forehead, despite the thin sheen of sweat.

“Shit, if the makeup sex is that good, we should argue more often.” You laughed lightly, still feeling like you hadn’t quite come back down to earth yet. He chuckled lovingly, stroking your hair.

“I don’t know doll, wasn’t nice being without you. Don’t think I’ll be rushing to argue like that again.” He admitted, stroking your bare back tenderly with his metal fingers, noticing your heart rate return to somewhere closer to normal.

“I guess you’re right, missed having you around.” You smiled quietly, pulling him into a gentle kiss.

[aenaxes]

omg!! congrats on 200!!!! 🥰🥰 ur my fav crosshair writer so: crosshair + trust, with a gender neutral reader? nsfw or not, it's up to u!! congrats again ����🎆🎉

kinesthesia

[crosshair x gn!reader] with precision, there is control, and with control, there is tension, not easily soothed. you take it into your own hands to prove that wrong.

warnings: nsfw, fellatio, (kind of) sub!cross

w/c: 3.0k

a/n: prince my he a r t 🥺💕 ily bb ! this was also a super fun prompt to write hehe, and look i openly accept that i’m a pillow princess bottom, but i think i would enjoy making crosshair squirm. uno reverse card on his oral fixation—mine now.

“I’m still not entirely sold on this,” Crosshair admits as he takes a seat at the edge of your bunk. His toothpick bobs anxiously between his lips, chewed down flat where his lips brush up against the bleached wood. It’s not often that this breed of restlessness finds hold: stiff shoulders and hands folded tight over his lap.

Nerves.

“That’s why we have the safeword,” you quip from across your quarters, voice rising as you struggle to twist out of your heavy uniform jacket.

(Un)surprisingly, Crosshair makes for a quick study. Beneath the stony, oftentimes sullen disposition, he’s a simple man. Of course, that simplicity didn’t necessarily limit himself from branching out into an actual person, but you could boil him down to one thing and one thing alone: control. Whether it was his genetic acuity that shaped him into the sniper persona or vice versa, control centered him, grounded him, tied him so close to his sense of duty and personhood that sometimes it was hard to tell the two apart.

So when you had offered two rotations prior to take the reins—offered both as something new and the hypothetical of release from, well, everything that kept him in a perpetually alert state of coiled tension—you honestly hadn’t expected for Crosshair to pause, rolling his toothpick thoughtfully between his teeth, and accept.

There’s certainly a part of you that hopes the manufactured brevity to your tone is enough to soothe the anxiety radiating from where Crosshair makes himself prim and small on your bed, smaller still without the bulk of his dark armor weighed over his shoulders. But, against your better judgement, a low-lying anticipation simmers at the base of your lungs when you finally shuck the day’s sweat and blaster smoke to the side.

He’s seen you undone under him time and time again, beads of sweat following the smug lines of his expression as he bent you to his—and, to be entirely fair, your own—pleasure. And as satisfying as that arrangement has proven itself to be, curiosity has always been that single, nagging vice at the back of your head.

Who can blame you for wanting a taste?

“You remember it, right?”

“Yeah,” he says, and you catch the heavy dregs of uncertainty (perhaps even bashfulness, ha) dragging at his voice.

“Then say it,” you prod. You gently nudge the point of your knee up against Crosshair’s calf and offer him a mirthful glance. And when that doesn’t seem to banish his withering hesitance, you drop down onto the bunk beside him, grasping his hand in yours and squeezing snug.

“I—” he clears his throat with a soft wince: embarrassment. “I don’t think I’ll need it.”

“Cross,” you warn. Because if you were going to do this, you were going to do this right.

“Fucking hell,” he mutters under his breath, scrubbing his palm over the highest points of his cheeks. You wonder if the warmth over his cheeks is the same as your own, desirous and shy as you venture into those dark, uncertain places hand in hand. “Tooka, happy?”

“Very happy,” you grin, and you lean close to press a quick peck to the corner of his mouth.

Crosshair leans towards you, lips parted to chase your touch, more, more. But he’ll have his fill, and you’re quick to dart away, leaving him even more disoriented than he already is, all wide eyes that seek you like fading light.

You’re tempted to indulge him because it’s not often that he looks like a kicked loth cat (and he does a damn good impression when he does). But you manage to stuff down the creeping sympathy, opting instead to reach into the pocket of your trousers and produce a well-worn headband.

“Please tell me that’s not Hunter’s.” The rosy edge of desire vanishes from Crosshair’s voice as he catches sight of the broad black swatch of fabric in your palm. In its place, the testing edge of judgement so often home in Crosshair’s snide play.

“Ew, no—what? That’d be weird. And gross. Who do you think I am?”

That seems to do what your previous efforts could not, and your heart jumps when Crosshair responds with a soft snort and shrugs. He’s not resentful, not in the slightest. It’s just trepidation, jumping into uncharted waters with nothing but the trust that your hand, snug over his, would hold fast.

But the laughter settles, drawing back to reveal something that hums quiet between the small eternity between you. Even with your thigh pressed close against Crosshair’s own, you feel him drawing away, hesitant and wanting all at once. You gently pull his hand between you, squeezing once.

“Trust me?” you murmur.

Crosshair offers you a tremulous look, more nervous than apprehensive. You suppose it’s only fitting of him that relinquishing his steady grip over control might be more appealing in concept than on the eve of practice. Nonetheless, when you meet his gaze, you find the kind of uncertainty that heralds excitement, careful but enamored all the same. He nods.

“Then let me take care of you.”

Finally, as you raise your hands to his temples, pressing the dark fabric over his eyes, the tension pulls away from his coiled muscles, dropping his shoulders and bowing his head as you reach around him and tie a knot over the back of his silvery hair. He exhales long and slow as the knot settles snug over his scalp, warmed by the creases left behind by your fingertips and the sudden comfort yet complete unpredictability that shrouds his senses.

Testing the waters, you bring one hand to his cheek, just barely ghosting your fingertips over the lean lines of his jaw, and you are rewarded with a full-bodied shudder that shocks through Crosshair’s form as his lips gently part around his toothpick. Without that precious ability to see, he sits in your palm at your every whim.

You lean forward, gently biting your teeth around the tapered free end of his toothpick, and you feel him swallow hard when you free it from his mouth and drop it to the floor.

“Trust me.”

Chest heaving, he nods again.

“Safeword?”

This time, there is no snark to accompany a begrudging response. “Tooka.” Instead, his voice dips breathy and low between the long breadths between his soft exhales, his beating heart.

“Good boy.”

You surprise yourself at how natural the praise feels, rolling from your tongue and rising over the ambient hum of the ship around you. It fills your chest with something like affection, bordered pride that only swells as you watch him shudder, his lips parting just a little wider to pass that barely-there whimper riding on his exhale.

The hard planes of his body, that star map you’ve committed to the deepest parts of your heart, are familiar terrain under your skin as you flatten your palms over the sharp jut of his collar and travel lower. You pause the heels of your palms over the base of his ribs, pressing softly against the quickening rise and fall of his chest. Satisfaction curls sweet and rich over the tip of your tongue as his stuttering inhale shifts the air around you.

With slow, firm force, you push him backwards onto the bunk, Crosshair’s elbows catching his slow descent over the dark grey sheets until finally drops his head back onto the firm mattress. His chest heaves.

Your fingertips pass over the sinew and soft scar of his abdomen, chasing how his breathing expands from his chest and leaches tension over the length of his torso. You’re certain this isn’t new, not when your intimacy has you stealing the other’s breaths between stuttering gasps. But to feel it under your palms, thrumming and deep—it sets your nerves on fire.

Control. It’s wholly and entirely yours.

You still as the pads of your fingers catch the faint ridge of his waistband. And a part of you is smug with the power of reversal, that it wasn’t Crosshair offering you a knowing smirk as he parted your thighs and pressed close, that it was you, privy to only the deepest intimacy Crosshair could offer.

But it’s exactly that which keeps the power from rushing to your head, stymying the teasing mischief for something warm in your stomach when you trail lower and gently cup over the straining bulge in his blacks. And it grows fonder when Crosshair’s legs jerk with a labored puff of breath, the same one he breathes into your ear when he finally pushes up deep inside you and presses his skin close against yours. He whines, a straining, soft noise through his bitten lips, and you’ve teased long enough.

Crosshair makes a soft noise, somewhere between a gasp and a whining moan, when you finally hook your fingers over the hem of the dark fabric and expose the curved strain of his cock. He’s so open, you think as you reach forwards (though, you suppose being deprived of the one sense that reigned king would do that to you).

You don’t need to be able to see the half of his face rising above the bridge of his nose to envision the soft knit of his dark brows, eyes squeezed shut and lashes fluttering with every soft noise that passes his lips. You don’t need to see the half of his face bound under that broad swath of fabric to envision how his expression breaks from restraint to unbridled euphoria when you trace the edge of your nail down the underside of his cock.

“Please,” you think you hear him whisper past a breathy moan.

Whatever he might have had prepared, the whole gamut of biting, bratty demand to wide-eyed pleas, tumbles back into his throat when you finally climb onto the bunk by his hips, lick the flat of your tongue over your palm, and wrap it snug around the middle of Crosshair’s cock. Instead, you watch with a satisfied awe as he jerks up into your touch, spit-slick lips parted in a silent cry.

“You want my hand or my mouth?” you croon, pumping slowly from the thick base of his erection to the ruddy tip. You want him to feel every quiver of your touch as you run your thumb over the pearly drop of precome beaded at the crown of his cock, reveling in his shudder beneath you. You want to be the only thing he feels.

“Mouth,” he chokes out. “Please.”

“You’re so polite today,” you muse, reaching up with your free hand to rub your thumb over the plush bitten skin of his bottom lip. Emboldened, you slip your finger past his lips, grazing over his teeth as you push the pad of your thumb over his tongue, all the while slowly working your hand over his cock. “The good boy gets what he wants, then. Right?”

For a brief moment, something like disbelief occupies the warm air between you—you, amazed at how easy it is to hold the reins tight; him, stunned that somehow, you in control was as good, if not better, than being the commandeering weight to push your face into the pillows.

Crosshair nods, trembling as you squeeze softly over the base of his cock.

“I need to hear it, mesh’la.”

The last line of his restraint crumbles at the sound: one only ever given from him to you, yet suddenly brought back to him with the full brunt of lust, affection, the secret words you’ve come to call your own. Crosshair bucks up into your hand with a low groan, gasping soft and breathy when you slip your thumb from his mouth and hold him down to the mattress.

“Yes, please.”

You smile and dip low.

Unlike the slow deliberation of your earlier touch, you seal your lips over his ruddy cockhead with one smooth motion, pressing your tongue flat against the underside and hollowing your cheeks. And the heady taste of salt, of trembling anticipation, of him, only sweetens when you flick your eyes up to catch Crosshair tip up his chin, dig his heels into the mattress, and sob.

You sink his cock deeper into your mouth, achingly slow while you continue to work your fist around the base of his cock, and close in a way that coaxes soft, whimpering noises from his lips as he turns his head and clenches his jaw.

Flicking your eyes upwards, a pang of regret shocks through your chest that you aren’t able to see Crosshair come undone from the slightest of touches, tame in comparison to some of your particularly energetic nights. But you do away with the thought as quickly as it comes as his blunt cockhead brushes over the back of your tongue.

His pleasure has always been yours, yours his, you think as you pull back, just until your lips part around the tip of his cock while he shifts and gasps beneath you. You’ll have your turn soon enough.

Before you can sink back down, swallow him as deep as you can, the air by your cheek shifts, and expecting the worst, you lift your chin. But where you expected some stifled yellow light, Crosshair’s fingers feel blindly around you until they find purchase over your cheek. His relief is palpable as his stuttering touch curls over your skin and holds you close.

You smile.

“Trust me?” you ask again, your lips mouthing softly over his cock, catching thick smears of precome over your skin.

“I trust you,” he whispers.

Crosshair cries out, hoarse and as loud as he’s been all night, as you drop your mouth near-midway down the straining length of his cock in one motion, lavishing your tongue under his pulse. His hand tenses over your jaw, blunt nails digging light into your skin as his fingers curl with that bone-deep shock of pleasure. And if the breathy, desperate noises he whimpers into the alcove of the bunk are of any indication, you have a good feeling he’ll want to do this again.

You moan around him in answer. It doesn’t matter to you that his brothers might hear, only a few panels of durasteel away and connected by the reverb of a narrow ship corridor. They probably do hear, but all that matters now is Crosshair, coming impossibly more undone under your tongue as he runs his trembling thumb over the skin of your cheek.

His hips buck up towards you, catching the back of your throat with a soft sting that reaches your nose. If you weren’t so desperate, you might have pinned him down harder or pulled away entirely to let him think about what he had done. But as much as you want to chase this power play, hearing him lose himself to you has you desperate for his touch.

You follow him with every uneven jerk and thrust up into the wet heat of your mouth, letting him take his fill. You simply stroke firmer as his skin warms over your tongue. It’s all so hot, the air heady and thick as you breathe in sharp through your nose and lean into his palm, and you wonder what it feels like, anchored to nothing but you, his sole light in a world gone dark.

His motions fall uneven, his hips twisting against your touch, his breaths becoming deeper, louder as they bounce over the steel ceiling overhead. He’s close.

You twist your fist over his cock, redoubling your efforts. You sink down so far over his cock that your eyes water as you crush the head up against the back of your throat. Heavy and thick, it muffles down a soft gag for you—it’s the deepest you’ve ever taken him. Crosshair notices, and he nearly wails.

He’s been good, you decide as you all but choke around him. He can take that coveted control back. You gently rub his hand, unspoken assent, and his hand slides up your jaw to finds purchase at the back of your head to fuck you down onto him in earnest.

And you take it, eyes blurring with tears and shallow inhales through your nose, holding still and letting him fuck over your tongue until he’s taken his fill. It doesn’t take long for him to spill down your throat, a low, hoarse groan passed between his lips as you struggle to breathe between every dutiful swallow of his thick come down your throat.

“Good boy,” you rasp as you pull the blindfold from over his head.

Crosshair meets you with unfocused eyes, full of wonder and a shaky haze that finds focus on you alone in the low light. Over the ache in your knees, you crawl up to meet him, collapsing down beside him with a soft sigh. He meets you with habit, practiced and true as he tips down his chin and presses his lips to yours, tasting himself on your skin when he swipes his tongue over your lip.

“How was that?” you whisper, breathing soft over his lips.

You tilt your head up enough to catch your nose over Crosshair’s. He still meets you with that same stupor, but you see it begin to mellow into something other than the shock of enjoyment in submission in a man who has only ever known control to be his. It’s quiet and raw, splitting open your chest with that rare kind of warmth that the broad expanse of space and war leave little space to grow.

Yours, whispered and cradled close between your beating hearts, yours alone.

“I’ll remember the safeword,” Crosshair says finally, his voice distant and soft as he still rises out of the aftershocks of his orgasm. But in that weary daze, you catch the rosy relaxation, vulnerable and yet increasingly less rare in your palms. Relief, pride, joy, honeyed goodness rises to the apples of your cheeks at the sound.

“I still think I won’t need it, though.” And you both laugh, curling close.

[jungshookz]

omg cee for a holiday drabble request can we get some shy!jungkook who’s had yn in his class all semester and is partnered up with her for a final project and he’s like !!!!!!!! AAAA!!!!!!!!!

➺ pairing; jeon jungkook x reader

➺ genre; sfw!! university!au!! fluff!! jungkook is shy!! y/n is friendly!! pocky sticks and goldfish crackers are exchanged!!

➺ wordcount; 4.9k

➺ what to expect; if he thought the back of your head was pretty... did that mean that he thought the rest of you was pretty as well?

                                     »»————-　❅　————-««

jungkook doesn’t like to say that he hates people because saying that makes him sound obnoxious and a little overdramatic, but if given the choice, he would 100% choose to be alone

and he doesn’t think that it’s a problem that he prefers his own company over the company of other people

it’s literally just a personal preference!

he likes to keep to himself mainly because he.,.,

well

to be honest, he just doesn’t like talking to people?? which he thinks is a pretty valid reason to roam campus as a lone wolf

it just takes so much effort maintaining a conversation and at the end of the day, he’s just here to learn and get his degree, you know?

and it’s not like he flat-out refuses to talk to people like a weirdo

he can talk to people, he just chooses not to initiate or engage in any type of conversation whatsoever unless he really has to

and don’t even get him started on those damn ice breakers that professors make everyone do at the beginning of every semester

it’s why he always sits in the very back of the auditorium where all the quiet people are

because quiet people understand each other and quiet people will nevER turn to start talking to each other when the professor tells the class to share two truths and a lie about yourself to the person sitting next to you!

there’s just a mutual understanding that everyone in the back of the room will sit in silence and keep to themselves all semester long which is very pleasant

not to mention, he hates having to deal with ‘semester friends’ aka the one friend that you make for the sake and convenience of having someone you know in the same class as you

you guys really don’t have that much in common and you can tell that they’re in a completely different social circle than you are (aka when you inevitably do a social media handle exchange you see that they have more than a thousand followers and you can immediately tell they were super popular in high school which intimidates you and your puny 250 follower count but you can’t back out of this friendship now without looking like a jerk) but the person is friendly enough that you can get along and kind of keep a conversation going

and then once the semester ends the two of you promise to keep in touch next semester even though both parties are fully intending to not stay in touch at all

and then when next semester rolls around no one makes any effort to reach out and be like hey, should we get coffee this week?? because you have conflicting schedules that would take so much reshuffling just to accommodate this acquaintance that you really don’t care that much about so then you end up hitting them with an ooh, i can’t make it this week! what about next week??

and then it just turns into a cycle of ugh, i’m swamped this week! next week? and can’t, sorry! next week?

and then you’ll see each other at the library one day and it’ll be a little bit awkward because you’ll do that awkward half-hug and your voice will go up like ten octaves when you greet them with that overly polite heyyyyyy!

and more promises will be made to get coffee and hang out soon even though everyone knows absolutely no coffee will be gotten

the point is: in the four years that jungkook’s been a university student, not onCe has he made a steady friend and not once has he been remotely interested in making a steady friend

and he doesn’t think that’s sad or anything - again, he prefers it that way!

...but you just had to come along and completely throw his plans out of whack, didn’t you??

unsurprisingly, you were the one who spoke to him at the beginning of the semester but he didn’t think too much of it because it wasn’t like the conversation the two of you had was very riveting

“hi, i’m sorry-” jungkook looks up from his notebook when you twist around in your seat to face him, “this is psychology 400, right? i lost a copy of my schedule and i think this is the lecture hall i’m supposed to be in but i can’t remember if it said auditorium 200 or 201-”

“yeah, you’re in the right place.” jungkook interrupts, offering you a stiff smile before looking back down at his planner

he was in the middle of compiling a grocery list for himself and now he doesn’t remember what that one thing he needed was…

…

ah!

chocolate pocky sticks

there we go

jungkook clicks his pen before tucking it back into his pencil case and shutting his planner

and… yeah!

that was the first conversation the two of you ever had

he doesn’t think he can really count it as a conversation because it lasted less than three seconds

the first exchange the two of you ever had?

the second exchange he had with you was actually the next class that same week

he was genuinely surprised that you sat in the same spot again because usually when someone realises that he isn’t willing to be their semester-friend, they move to another section of the auditorium the next time

but no

there you were in all your glory

“when’s the first assignment due?”

jungkook’s eyes flicker up from his laptop first before he looks up at you

“uh, in two weeks...?” he trails off, pulling up the calendar app on his screen before nodding affirmatively, “yeah, in two weeks. september sixteenth at midnight.”

“okay, sweet! and that’s a... thursday?”

“wednesday.”

“ah, okay. got it. thanks!

“mhm.”

the weird thing was the fact that you never pulled out the “i don’t think i ever got your name! i’m ___” card because you just seemed like a very ‘i wanna be your friend!!!!!’ person

and he doesn’t know how you made him do it but one day he found himself asking for your name which he didn’t think he’d ever do

(admittedly, he was a little klutzy in doing so because he’d never willingly introduced himself to someone and asked for their name all in one go before)

“are you eating goldfish crackers and... chocolate chips?” jungkook blurts out, leaning forward a little to peer into the little snack box you’re holding in your hand

you pause and look down into the container before twisting around to look at him, “mhm! you know, you wouldn’t think the combination would work, but it totally does,” you smile, holding your box up, “wanna try?”

jungkook immediately shakes his head, “oh, no, that’s oka-”

“no, c’mon-” you pluck out a cracker and a chocolate chip and set your box down on your lap, “hold your hand out!”

jungkook hesitates for a second before holding his hand out and letting you plop the treats in his palm, “and you... eat them together?”

“uh-huh!” you nod, popping a cracker into your mouth before gesturing for him to eat, “don’t worry - if you don’t like it, i promise i won’t cry.”

jungkook brings his palm up and tosses them back into his mouth

...

...

...

huh

that’s actually... not half-bad?

“see? what’d i tell you?” you beam, giving your box a little shake, “good, right?”

“yeah, i mean, i would never think to put the two together...” jungkook trails off, dusting the crumbs off his hands, “oh, um, by the way-” he clears his throat before swallowing nervously, “i, uh, i’m jungkook. by the way. yeah.”

“jungkook?” you say out loud, jungkook nodding in confirmation, “i will try to remember that. i’m pretty bad with names, so if i end up calling you, like, robert next week, don’t hate me.”

“i will try not to hold it against you if you call me robert next week,” jungkook laughs lightly before reaching up to scratch the back of his neck, “and you... um, your name is...?”

“i’m y/n! by the way.” you tease lightly, the apples of jungkook’s cheeks turning a little pink, “it’s nice to meet you! ...even though we met, like, a month ago.”

“touché.”

“jungkook, you dog-” you gasp lightly, and for a second jungkook’s heart drops to his stomach because he thinks he’s said something wrong- “at least take me out to dinner first before touchéing me.”

jungkook immediately snorts and shakes his head lightly as you giggle to yourself

with that being said, even after that exchange he still wasn’t sure if he wanted to stay friends with you or not

yeah, you were nice and kind of charming in your own way, but...

(he couldn’t come up with a reason as to why he shouldn’t be friends with you, so that train of thought is still chug-chug-chugging along.)

                                     »»————-　❅　————-««

“are those pocky sticks?”

jungkook stops typing, his eyes flickering up from his screen to see you looking at him with a soft little smile, your arms folded over the top of your seat and your chin propped up on them

he looks down at the open package of pocky sticks sitting on top of his backpack next to him before looking over at you and nodding, “uh, yeah. do you... want one?”

“are they the chocolate ones?”

“obviously.” jungkook snorts, pulling one out of the plastic bag before holding it out for you, “nothing beats the original flavour.”

you pluck it from his fingers, inspecting it for a second before biting into it with a crisp snap!, “i personally like the strawberry ones better-”

“what??” jungkook gawks, “i mean, yeah, the strawberry ones are fine, but the chocolate ones-”

“the strawberry ones have a thicker coating! the chocolate coating is so thin and barely-there!” you hold the bottom half of your pocky out so that jungkook can look at the cross-section of it, “see?? barely any chocolate-”

“you don’t know what you’re talking about!” jungkook scoffs playfully, slapping his laptop shut before crossing his arms on his desk and leaning forward, “chocolate pocky sticks are clearly superior to the strawberry ones-”

“alright, robert, whatever helps you sleep at night-”

“wha-” jungkook gawks in mock offence, too distracted by the fact that you like the strawberry pocky sticks over the classic chocolate ones to notice the feeling of his heart skipping a beat at the sound of your laugh

strawberry over chocolate

...

ridiculous!

                                    »»————-　❅　————-««

now, jungkook isn’t particularly sure when it was that he started to notice how twinkly your eyes were or how sweet your voice sounded or how pretty your smile was or how nice your hair smelled

it kind of just dawned on him one morning??

he was just staring at the back of your head and found himself wondering how it was possible for the back of one’s head to be so pretty (you had your hair down that day and it just looked so soft and clean)

and then he thought to himself how weird it was that he just called the back of your head pretty

and then he thought to himself that if he thought the back of your head was pretty... did that mean that he thought the rest of you was pretty as well?

and then he thought to himself that yes, i suppose i would consider y/n to be pretty if i was ever asked for a list of people i considered to be pretty

and then he realized that oh, god. do i think that y/n’s pretty because i like y/n?!

and now it’s december meaning that it’s almost the end of the semester and he still hasn’t done anything about his crush on you because he?? literally has no idea how to handle it

his plan was to just ask you for your instagram and if you wanted to keep hanging out next semester and hope that it didn’t turn into a can’t what about next week can’t what about next week situation

and the fact that you guys are working together for the final project certainly doesn’t help with him suppressing his feelings at all

because you two have gone from spending time like three times a week in class to five or six times a week in and out of class

it was at the beginning of november that he discovered that you both had an hour and a half break after this class

so you guys usually go for lunch together (obviously, you were the one who asked first) and then go your separate ways

and then it was the second week of november that jungkook started walking you to your next class even though hiS next class is located at the opposite end of campus

he just????

literally has no idea how any of this happened

one minute he’s perfectly fine with being alone and the next minute he finds himself glancing towards the door every three seconds waiting for you to walk in because the best part of his morning is seeing you

because every time you walk in and see him in his usual spot your entire face lights up and your pace quickens and he just thinks it’s really cute how excited you are to see him even though you guys literally see each other so often

he always looks forward to hearing about what you did over the weekend even though he usually doesn’t care less about what anyone did over their weekend

he always looks forward to you bringing out your little snack box and offering him a couple pieces of whatever you have (you brought these sesame-glazed cashews the other day and they were really good)

he always looks forward to sharing his pocky sticks with you even though he’s usually very greedy with his pocky sticks

last week he let you eat like half the box and he wasn’t even mad

and yeah, he finds himself tossing a couple of the strawberry pocky sticks into his basket whenever he goes grocery shopping, but that doesn’t mean anything!

...

right???

                                     »»————-　❅　————-««

jungkook glances back towards the door as he taps his foot against the ground anxiously before checking his phone for the time or any texts from you  

where are you??

he booked one of the conference rooms in the library so that you guys could work on your project in peace

it’s much more quiet working here than in the general studying area because there’s always that one person who’s sniffling and coughing like a maniac

and you can speak at a normal volume in here which is good

you guys agreed to work on the project together at the end of the day and then you’d grab dinner together

and jungkook hasn’t been classifying these hangout working sessions as dates or anything but for some reason, this feels like a study date AND a dinner date rolled into one which is why his hands are so clammy right now

and on top of thAT he actually has a christmas present that he’s planning to give you but now he’s wondering if it’s too late to back out

you’re already like twenty minutes late

did you forget about him??

did you purposely bail on him??

is this your way of telling him that this friendship is over???

maybe he can text you and tell you that he had to go home because he has food poisoning or something

...but the image of him hunched over the toilet probably isn’t a very attractive one

is there like a.,., like a sexy way to talk about food poisoning?

jungkook paces back and forth as he looks down at his phone, typing a message to you and then immediately deleting it and retyping

hey! i’m gonna have to reschedule. i had a funky ass burrito for lu-

okay so there’s definitely no way to make food poisoning sound sexy

maybe he can come up with a... cool excuse of some kind?  

hey! can we reschedule? i have to save a baby from a burning building because i’m also a firefigh-

nope

he’s terrified of heights and also he hates babies so that excuse would never work

hey! let’s reschedule! i have feelings for you and it’s overwhelming me and also i feel like maybe you kind of bailed on m-

“hey!”

jungkook jumps in his seat before whipping around to look at the door, feeling a sense of relief washing over him when he sees that it’s you

okay

well noW he knows that you didn’t forget about him and that you definitely didn’t bail on him

“he-” his voice gives out halfway and he clears his throat quickly, “hey! i was, uh, i was wondering when you’d show up.”

“i know, sorry i’m late-” you smile sheepishly, shutting the door behind you with a gentle click, “it’s for a good reason, though! i got us hot chocolates!”

you raise the takeout tray in your hand before setting it down on the table, “i was going to get you a peppermint mocha because ‘tis the season and all of that, but i didn’t know if you would like it or not so hot chocolate was the safer option.”

“i like hot chocolate!” jungkook coughs, “peppermint mochas- i mean, i would’ve been fine with a peppermint mocha too, but i- i still appreciate the hot chocolate-” he rambles, nervously flipping his pen back and forth in between his fingers, “i mean, i, like, what i’m trying to say is that i would like anything you brought for me, you know?”

okay

he’s spiralling

whY is this happening to him??

jungkook doesn’t know if he’s ever been this nervous for anything before

he wasn’t even this nervous when he had to do a solo presentation in front of two hundred people in his history course last semester and thaT was terrifying

“alright, well, i’ll definitely keep that in mind for next time!” you chirp, pulling out one of the wheely chairs before plopping down and turning to face him, “what else do we have to do for our report?”

jungkook feels his heart skip a beat when your knee bumps against his

oh god

okay

he has to get it together  

just relax!

“oh, uh-” he turns to look through the checklist on his notebook, “we have to write up the conclusion... and also the annotated bibliography.”

“annotated bibliography?” you huff, scrolling through yours guys’ twenty page report, “oh, god... that’s going to take forever- we used, like, thirty different sources...”

“i told you not to go crazy with the scholarly articles...” jungkook teases lightly before taking a sip of his hot chocolate

ooH

there’s whipped cream on this as well!

“i just thought that it would make us look smarter if we used more sources-” you grumble, pushing your bottom lip out in a pathetic little pout, “and now we have to go through and annotate every single one...”

“hey, if it motivates you to work faster, i’ll get you an extra order of onion rings for dinner tonight.” jungkook hums, smiling fondly when you gasp excitedly and turn to face him

one thing that he’s learned about you is the fact that you are verY food motivated

one time you told him that you would be willing to rob a bank for a pack of oreos

...and he wholeheartedly believes that.

                                     »»————-　❅　————-««

you try your hardest to hold back a grin when you notice that jungkook still hasn’t moved his leg from yours

the side of your thigh has been pressed right up against his for a good twenty minutes now and it seems like he doesn’t mind it at all

if anything, it’s safe to say that he’s comfortable being this close to you

that must mean that he likes you back, right?

because you know for a fact that he isn’t normally a touchy-feely person and you were fully expecting him to pull back the moment your leg touched his

this is!!!!

exciting!!!!

you don’t know when you started liking jungkook but the details really aren’t that important

you just know that you like him now and you’re like 80% sure that maybe he might?? like you back??

if he didn’t like you, why would he be willing to get coffee with you during your breaks and walk you to class?

you were actually a little put off by him the first time you spoke to him mainly because he seemed like he didn’t really want to talk to you

and usually you don’t do well with people who don’t want to talk to you because.,., you personally think you’re a greaT person to talk to and if the same vibes aren’t reciprocated then you immediately hightail it out of there

and you were actually going to switch seats the next class but it was pretty cozy in the back of the auditorium and you liked that your seat was near the exit so that you could be the first one out without getting trampled over by everyone else  

so you figured you’d just swallow your pride and try to work it out with mr. pretty boy (yes, part of the reason as to why you stayed was because of how handsome he is.,., you’re only human!!!)

and it looks like it worked out in your favour because here you are!! hanging out with him outside of class!!

with that being said, you haven’t really thought about what your next move is going to be because you’re..., not entirely sure how to ask him out without potentially freaking him out or something

because if on the off-chance that he tells you that he actually doesn’t like you back after you ask him out with full confidence,,..,

ugh

you don’t even want to think about how awkward that’s going to be

and you don’t even knoW how you’d play it off casually without letting your disappointment show (“oh! well, that’s- pft- that’s totally fine, it’s whatever- like, i’m so... like, i’m so cool. it’s totally fine! dates are- dates are so overrated, anyway- romance is so lame-”)

you were thinking of maybe asking him out after the final project because if he says no then you’ll never have to see him again!

that’s the beautiful part of being on such a big campus

it’s fine

you’ll figure something out

just focus on this damn bibliography and try not to think about how good jungkook smells and how pretty his hands look when he’s typing

                                     »»————-　❅　————-««

it’s about an hour and a half into the session that jungkook suddenly remembers that he has a present for you

he turns his head slightly to look at you

there’s a divot in between your brows as your fingers practically fly across your keyboard

wow

you must really want those onion rings

jungkook glances down at his backpack before pressing his lips together tightly

when would be a good time to give it to you without it being like.,,. awkward?

maybe after you guys are done?

or during dinner?

or after dinner?

or after he drives you hom-

“i have a present for you, by the way-!” jungkook blurts out a little louder than intended, shattering the serene silence of the atmosphere

okay never mind

“you do??” you ask, jungkook nodding quickly

“i... yeah. a christmas present! for you.” he clears his throat, leaning down to pull the neatly wrapped package out of his backpack, “it’s just a little something, it’s really not that big of a deal.”

“aw, that’s so nice of you... i didn’t know we were doing presents otherwise i totally would’ve gotten something for you...” you trail off, pursing your lips in disappointment

damnit

you weRE going to get jungkook something but you didn’t know if he’d find it weird or anything

and now you must look like a complete jerk!

“oh my god, don’t even worry about it-” jungkook flicks his wrist to dismiss your concerns, “you can count the hot chocolate as your gift to me! plus, you splurged on a venti just for me-”

“i did splurge on a venti just for you...” you joke along, instantly feeling a little better about the situation, “and i usually only treat people to tiny little talls!”

(for the record, you’re definitely going to get him a proper present over the weekend)

“also, it’s totally fine if you don’t like it-” jungkook swallows thickly when you start to rip open the packaging, “i can return it and get you something else-”

!!!!!!!!

“oH MY GOD i love it!” you exclaim, feeling your serotonin levels shoot straight through the ceiling when you pull out a heart shaped snack box, “i don’t even know what to say, this is literally the greatest present i’ve ever received in my entire life-”

“oh, thank god-” jungkook flops back in his seat before placing his hand on his chest, “i was worried that maybe you wouldn’t like it because you already have a pretty extensive collection of snack boxes- oh, and!” he perks up, spinning around to pull something else out of his bag, “i also got you a box of strawberry pocky sticks even though i still think your opinion about them being better than the chocolate flavour is very wrong.”

wow

he really knows the way to your heart :’)

“i don’t even know what to say, kook...” you smile, “thank you so much...”

jungkook beams, giving himself a mental pat on the back for a job well done, “ah, don’t worry about it. i’m just glad that you like your gifts...”

...

okay, you don’t have a gift for him so this is the next best thing

“can i-” you pause, trying to think of how to handle this, “can i- sorry, can you just close your eyes for a second?” you clear your throat

you’re suddenly feeling a lot more confident about jungkook’s feelings towards you than you were half an hour ago

(aka you are now 98% sure that he likes you back and if you’re wrong about this assumption then you’re definitely going to regret the thing that you’re about to do)  

“close my eyes?” jungkook snorts, “why?”

“it’ll make sense in a second. just close them!”

“this is the part of our friendship where you kill me, isn’t it?” he jokes, setting his laptop aside before turning his chair so he can fully face you

ha hA

very funny

“if i was planning to kill you, i would’ve poisoned your precious pocky sticks a long time ago-” you laugh lightly, wiping your clammy hands on your jeans before turning to face him as well

“speaking of pocky sticks, have you ever tried the cookies and creme flavoured ones?” jungkook hums, jolting in surprise when he feels you place your hands on his knees, “because i was thinking we could just buy a bunch of flavours and try them toge-”

smak!

jungkook’s eyes immediately pop open the moment he feels you kiss his cheek, his entire face going beet red and his mouth going dry

you smile innocently as you pull back, jungkook trying his best to noT melt into a giant puddle of goo

you-

you just...

you kissed his cheek?

you kissed him?

maybe it was an accident??

maybe there was a bug on his cheek and you were just trying to kill it with your mouth

“you- i- heh-” he reaches up to scratch the back of his head, quickly averting his gaze when he notices you looking directly at him, “um, why... uh, what did you do that for?”

“to say thank you...” you shrug, biting back a smile, “and i guess it’s me trying to tell you that i... i like you too, by the way.”

jungkook feels his heart stop beating in his chest and his fingers dig into his thigh

too?

you like him?

too????

jungkook blinks owlishly at you, “you like me... too? r-really?”

“of course i do.” you hum, admiring your brand new snack box before looking back at him, “how could i not?”

(judging by his reaction, you are now 100% sure that jungkook likes you back so you now have nothing to worry about.)

“but how’d you know that i even liked you in the first place?” jungkook asks dumbly, still a little dazed from that kiss on the cheek

he can’t even think about how his body is going to react when he eventually gets to kiss you properly

“i mean...” you let out a little laugh before tilting your head slightly, “if the in-between class coffee runs and the walking me to class even though we both know it’d make you late for your class didn’t give it away, the fact that you let me eat half a box of pocky sticks without slicing my hands off certainly did.”

oh

yeah

that’s fair

“you make a good point.” jungkook nods slowly, “touché-”

“-”

“-!” jungkook holds a finger out before the corners of his mouth tug up in a wide grin, “and i will definitely be taking you out to dinner first before even thinking about touchéing you. don’t worry.”

christmas with cee 2020 masterlist

🎁what would you like from ceenta this year? 🎁

[wangxianficrecs]

Follower Recs

Stories I haven’t read yet, but clearly need to put on my ever-expanding List.

~*~

Welcome back queen [Thank you, it’s so lovely to be back!] if ur still doing follower recs I gotta recommend I would wait for a thousand years by bleuett it’s soooooooo good

[This one was actually recced to me by two different people, the other of whom said, “ Maybe I'm crying a little so I feel like a should recommend ‘I would wait for a thousand years’ by bleuett on ao3.”]... it’s def. on my List!

I would wait for a thousand years

by bleuett (T, 10k, wangxian)

Summary:  During the worst of winter, a traveler comes to stay at Lan Wangji's inn. He wears a red ribbon in his hair.

“Do you see the rabbit?” Wei Ying asks and points at the moon. “That’s the moon rabbit, he helps make Chang’e more immortality elixir. He keeps Chang’e company.”

“I do not wish the rabbit for company,” Lan Wangji says tightly. “You are the one I want by my side.”

“And I’m here, Lan Zhan. If you go to the moon, I’ll follow you, I’ll always be here now.”

~*~

I just read a great fic by aisthuu "every love story is a ghost story", didn't see it in your recs so wanted to recommend it! LWJ is a guqin composer and teacher, buys a cheap guqin off eBay which ends up being attached to WWX's spirit from canon era. It's bittersweet, LWJ deals with Lan's homophobia (implicit in a Lan way) and his feelings towards the ghost. This is author's only ao3 fic and honestly I don't remember how I stumbled upon it, but I'm happy I did and hope you will enjoy it too!  [I’ve recently read this one, and loved it!]

every love story is a ghost story

by aisthuu (M, 59k, wangxian, my bookmark)

Summary:  The man is in Lan Zhan’s bed. Did they—he begins to wonder, eyes trailing to where the man’s body lies under the blanket. Had Lan Zhan—?

Then the sleep-fog clears and Lan Zhan realizes that the young man isn’t quite opaque around the edges.

“You’re a spirit.”

The spirit narrows its eyes. “I’m so much more than that.”

(Lan Zhan buys a guqin off eBay for a suspiciously low price, only to find that it’s haunted. And now there’s a ghost in his bed.)

~*~

Ok so I absolutely have to rec "see you yesterday" by glyphic. It's a wip, but it's currently at 101k so there's a whole lot there, and it's terrible and wonderful and beautiful all at once. The way the backstory of canon events is adapted to the modern-with-cultivation setting is brilliant, and then there's the amnesia, and then there's the time loop. This fic lives permanently rent-free in my brain.

see you yesterday

by glyphic (M, 101k, wangxian, WIP)

Summary:  

Wei Ying 21:09 hey lan zhan what’s the weirdest way youve died

Lan Zhan 21:11 Falling encyclopedias.

Wei Ying 21:12 omg no way that’s so rude turning books against you???

Lan Zhan 21:13 A betrayal I will never forget.

On Halloween night, an exiled demonic cultivator and a Lan disciple get stuck in a time-loop, find each other, and try to figure it all out.

~*~

If you are looking for recs for yourself I absolutely love (the complete!) story Just as the Snow Melts by draechali on AO3. It's a canon divergence where everyone lives, even WWX! ~ @airmidcelt

Just as the Snow Melts

by draechaeli (T, 67k, wangxian)

Summary:  Like a snowy mountain top in spring the residents of the Burial Mounds trickled down the mountain and joined the flow of society.

“I went to the Burial Mounds,” Lan WangJi said.

“Ah, yeah… I’m sorry Lan Zhan,” replied Wei WuXian, “I hadn’t thought anyone would come to visit. I am still not sure how it happened; I brought A-Yuan to Yiling to play by the river and then ended up somehow teaching a bunch of children swimming and writing along with him.”

~*~

Hello! It's come to my attention that you have not as yet read Grandmaster of Meme-onic Cultivation! Please do! It's the only thing that gave me joy during 2020 😆 like proper belly laughs and disney villain style cackling. It is a wip, and it is long but so so worth it!! The author has reworked the entire canon through these message crystals and still conveys complex characters despite the tricky format. It's just so good!! Highly highly recommend it! ❤ ~ @theladypeartree  [Oh!  I’ve been subscribed to this one, and know that @swaglexander-the-great is a reliable provider of Hilarity, so I’m excited for it to be finished!]

Grandmaster of Meme-onic Cultivation 

by Hades_the_Blingking (T, 49k, wangxian, WIP)

Summary:  The Untamed universe is exactly the same, except everybody has magical crystals that have a suspiciously familiar messaging system. The story is pretty much the same as the show, except everyone lives!! (so minor changes).

or in which Wei WuXian tries his darndest to date Lan Zhan, Jiang Cheng possibly has a aneurysm, Jin ZiXuan is still the most awkward human alive, and Xue Yang makes me write some VERY cursed things. Written in chatfic format! :3

~*~

Chomrafy on AO3 deserves love and encouragement; she’s written a body of compact, poetic, and eloquent shortfics each of which can stand alone, but that comprise an intricately cross-referential and mostly internally-consistent universe. They’re grouped as chapters in works according to theme; for example, “in cupped hands” focuses upon Jin Ling and his second-generation baggage; “Departure in Autumn” portrays the last years of WWX’s first life. Follow the tag “Chomrafy’s MDZS shortfics.” [I don’t see this tag?]

in cupped hands

by chomrafy (G, 2k, wangxian)

Summary:  Of secrets, of futures, of love. A Jin Ling-centric collection of 200-word fics.

Ch.1: Jin Ling repays a debt (JL, JC, & WWX). Ch.2: Jin Ling and a ghost in the mirror. (JL & JYL) Ch.3: A matter of friends (JL & the other kids) Ch.4: In this house we don't keep dogs (JC & WWX) Ch.5: In the end, he remains silent (JL & uncles) Ch.6: A first night hunt, of sorts (JL & the other kids) Ch.7: Jin Ling, forgiving, forgetting (JL & LXC & JGY) Ch.8: Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling argue (JL, JC, & WWX) Ch.9: Jin Ling and his father (JL & JC) Ch.10: Jin Ling speaks up (JL, JC, & WWX) Ch.11: Jin Ling and a piece of home (JL, JC, & WWX)

Departure in Autumn

by chomrafy (not rated, 6k)

Summary:  Four perspectives. A steady march to the end.

Ch.1: Because if anything happens to them, Wen Qing would never be able to heal with these hands again. Ch.2: As long as this is still home, Jiang Yanli will wait as long as she needs to. Ch.3: Five times Jiang Cheng reaches for Wei Wuxian, one time he turns away. Ch.4: Whether the road is broad or narrow, bright or dark, they would have to keep walking. Wei Wuxian digs Wen Qing's grave.

~*~

Hello, hope all is going well. I don't have an ask, by I do have a recommendation. I read this fic a while ago and found it again. I just wanted to recommend this for everyone. Let me know what you think please. Thank you. [Oh!  This one’s in my To Read list, but  I’d forgotten about it.  Mmmm, fox!wwx and dragon!lwj.]

Ten miles of Lotus Flowers

by Yukirin_Snow

M, 274k, wangxian

Summary:  He was a mischievous fox spirit, wreaking havoc where he went, about to depart on a journey that would span centuries.

He was a heavenly prince, a proud dragon destined to ascend the throne to become emperor.

Neither expected their paths to collide over the span of three lives.

~*~

I forgot if it was your blog 😥 that recommended “Bestseller” (when Wei Wuxian writes the Xianxia cut-sleeve equivalent of Fifty Shades of Grey, based entirely on his experiences with Lan Wangji, he doesn’t expect it to become the next big hit) (https://archiveofourown.org/works/21528316/chapters/51318766)

But OMG IT WAS HILARIOUS!!! I LOVED IT!! And if it wasn’t your blog, I’m so sorry for how weird this sounds 😭😭😭😭 I just loved this fic so much that I have to tell it to someone 😢 [It’s on my List, but I haven’t read it yet!]

Bestseller

by pupeez4eva

M, 8k, wangxian

Summary:  He had written the book to prove a point. It was never supposed to be a big thing, and he certainly never intended for everyone — Jiang Cheng, Zewu-Jun, the Juniors, literally everyone— to be reading about his sex life.

Oh God, he definitely needed to make sure Lan Zhan didn’t find out about this.

(Or, when Wei Wuxian writes the Xianxia cut-sleeve equivalent of Fifty Shades of Grey, based entirely on his experiences with Lan Wangji, he doesn’t expect it to become the next big hit).

~*~

I’d like to rec On Your Marks, Get Set, Bake! by @blackwiresgrowonherhead

It’s one of my absolute favorites and I laughed out loud so many times when reading it

on your marks, get set, bake!

by BlackWiresOnHerHead

G, 41k, wei wuxian & juniors

Summary:  Jin Ling resumes thumping on the door to room 721, and the small collection of freshmen starts chanting “Senior Wei! Senior Wei! Senior Wei!” with increasing volume until finally Wei Wuxian opens the door.

“Yes?” he says with his widest, most innocent eyes.

“Senior Wei!” demands Lan Jingyi, shoving himself to the front of the group. “Why didn’t you tell us you’re a contestant on this year’s season of The Great Gusu Bake Off?!?”

--

Several months ago, college student Wei Wuxian secretly competed in the most popular reality show in the country. The show starts airing in the fall. The freshmen in his dorm collectively lose their minds.

~*~

If you're in the mood for v. short ridiculous fun fic, may I suggest My chain hits my chest/When I'm bangin' on the radio by x_los It's 2k modern cultivators AU, featuring WWX calling LWJ's sword Bitchin' [omg I’m laughing so hard] and I think it's more fun going in blind?

My chain hits my chest/When I'm bangin' on the radio

by x_los

T, 2k, wangxian

Summary:  Lan Wangji finds he doesn't even need to call for help for Wei Wuxian to come running.

[ryosmne]

OMG SIA!!! IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!! 🤩💜👏✨

200 people that appreciate and love your talent [including me ofc 😜]

I would love more about Dancer!Sukuna Please 🥺. Maybe Sukuna and MC end up late at the studio rehearsing the new choreo but since it’s just them the mood is less strict and more fun and flirty!! 💃🕺

About me? Well, since I found out your Tattoo Artist!Sukuna my brain has been in brain rot Sukuna state 25/8 lol 😆 but tbh, I don’t regret it 💅✨, funfact I’m a fashion student and my pronouns are she/her 😬.

Anyways, I’m so proud of you! And I know you’ll reach even more within the time and the amazing works you come up!!! ✨💜✨

Thank you so so much for the kind words, I really appreciate it a lot 💜💜💜

I completely forgot I had made Dancer! Sukuna headcannons, so thanks for reminding me :D I'm glad I could infect you with my constant thoughts of Sukuna as a secretly really soft tattoo artist 💕. Again thank you so much I'm all giddy and happy :> and I'm sorry it took a bit long, college was a bit of a bitch but I'm getting back on track :D will definitely revisit Dancer! Sukuna too. Hope you enjoy reading and have a good one :> 💗💜💜💜

Choreographer/ Dancer! Sukuna x F!reader

Warnings: a bit of suggestive content, language, that's all.

"You're dragging your left foot again."

Of course y/n was dragging her feet at this point, the studio was supposed to be closed, but her and Sukuna stayed late, a common practice amongst them, cause Sukuna wants to show her the choreographies that don't make the class, today was a bit different though.

"What's with you, I've showed you the routine three times and you're still messing up the footwork"

Y/n grasped choreos really fast, usually by two ties she'd have everything down tonight wasn't the same, she didn't really know why but she was much more nervous that usual.

"I don't want to keep you here if I keep messing up, I'm sure you've got better things to do and I've got class tomorrow"

Sukuna gave her a little laugh, this girl was an open book. "What's the fun in going home so early? We haven't even gotten to the good part yet and you better be designing those sneakers I asked two months ago in your 'class'"

Good part? Y/n questioned in her brain, fearing that her oh so lovely trainer would have her do flips. Again.

"My legs hurt, give me a break."

"Come on, you're always so whiny, let's just do it together"

Together?

Sukuna turned the music on again, that guy who lives upstairs would definitely make another noice complaint, but Sukuna couldn't care less. This scene has been stuck in his mind for days and a guy with a stick up his ass isn't going to stop him from actually living what he's been replaying in his head, dying to actually experience.

"Come here"

Y/n didn't need to be told that twice, and hurried over to him, Sukuna grabbed her shoulders and placed her Infront of him as gently as he could, he's a big guy.

"Ok, follow my lead"

He did his usual five, six, seven, eight and quickly begun moving.

Y/n followed along as best she could, her muscle memory kicking in, she found it easy to execute everything Sukuna was showing her for about an hour and a half.

She barely even noticed the intimacy of their moves at first, untill Sukuna's hand found her waist and pulled her back to reality. His presence was almost suffocating and the way his eyes never left hers didn't help either, but y/n tried her best not to mess up from his constant distraction. One way to do that is to play along, but what would happen if she did? There was undeniable chemistry between the two, everyone could see it, rumours were spreading in the studio that something was going on with them and the little crowd that gossiped and fawned over them doing their thing only added fuel to the fire.

Sukuna and y/n moved in perfect harmony, the sharpness he had complimenting her softness, their styles are so different but they work so well together, their eyes still locked, Sukuna found y/n's expression impossible to read as the song was close to an end, but he only wanted to saw her in closer just so he could figure it out.

The song was over much sooner than either of them wanted, the final poses being a bit too close for comfort, with y/n laying under Sukuna, who stared down at her with a grin plastered on his face

"Would you look at that? you should've said you wanted to do it together from the beginning, you didn't miss a single step."

Y/n let a groan out as he rolled off of her.

"My legs are killing me."

"I can think of a few ways to loosen up."

Y/n reached over to him and smacked him on the arm too tired to try and argue with him.

How was he not out of breath after this many hours and still in his usual teasing mode, one can never know.

"You should make them blue, like that top you wore yesterday, hightops."

"What?"

"The shoes, I want them in blue."

"Didn't you want purple and orange Chita print last time?"

Both of them were sweaty laying there staring at the ceiling.

"I didn't think you took that seriously."

[voidaus]

Final Goodbyes

Summary: Your a Youtuber and in a stream you see this pen-pal app and download it, creating an account. This all happened months ago. The guy you met on there was amazing, and you talked for months until he just... stopped.

Genre: Angst?

warnings: swearing, fighting

Requested? No

Word count: 1402

I believe everyone deserves a second chance. No matter how difficult things are. No matter how ugly things got. But maybe sometimes, the problem is that I believe too much. Seeing good in every person, while of course, some people are just... not good.

But that's not how this story goes. No, he is good. I am a hundred percent sure of that. The question is, 'is he willing to change and show that side of him?'. I guess we won't find out if I don't reach out to him huh?

The grey laptop is on my couch, still warm from the last time I used it just an hour ago. Grabbing myself some hot chocolate I lay down on the soft pillows and pull my blanket up to my chest. Whilst finally deciding I'm comfortable in this position I grab the laptop again and open it, typing in my password. The device starts up, letting me in.

"miaow" a soft purring comes from the ground. My cat, Athena, jumps on the couch as soon as I pat it. "Hey there gorgeous" I greet her. The laptop dings, making it clear that it's ready to be used. I give it my full attention again. Should I really open Zaira?

Zaira is an online penpal app where you can anonymously make friends. I signed up about 2 years ago and never really managed to find someone I really hit it off with. You know, I just couldn't find the words to talk to any of the people who messaged me. My anxiety not really helping with making friends, of course, I thought meeting them online would be easier. I was wrong. 

No one understood me, which isn't really surprising. I'm a bookworm, but also a gamer. I have lots of hobbies but not quite the energy to pursue them. The only thing that still has me uploading videos and streaming is the money and my supporters. My supporters standing first on the list, of course. I upload mostly gaming videos under the name Void. I go faceless. I never really liked my appearance for that matter.

I hesitate but still open it. The familiar logo greets me and only a moment after that my only friend on the site shows up, bringing back memories.

Zaira? What's this? "An online penpal app where you can add strangers and make friends. Now free in the AppStore!" I read the description out loud for my viewers. "Should I download it guys?" I ask the live chat, hoping they would say yes. Soon enough I get the confirmation from them and I click the button, hoping it won't take too long to download. I create a profile typing in my bio: 'Bookworm, Gamer, Weeb :)' The chat confirms that that pretty much describes me making me laugh. "Perhaps we can actually meet some cool people on here guys! Who knows?""Alright." I scroll through the site, reading people's bios until one of them spots the fans' eyes. The comments are going crazy fast right now. "click them!""omg Void, you have to message Sasori!" and more comments like that. I click on the profile, reading it's bio. Their given name is Sasori Matsudo. I laugh, explaining to some of the viewers that don't watch anime that these are names from Naruto and Death Note. "I suggest you watch them. those are some good animes!".

I smile at the memories and click on his profile. "Sasori Matsudo" the name rolls off my tongue. I chuckle "not a weeb huh?" Slowly looking through the messages, the familiar empty feeling enters my body again. To be honest, it never left. Ever since the fight, it was always there, following my every step. I close my eyes, letting the painful memories flood in again.

"I just don't understand why you can't talk about it with me!" your voice is slightly raised as you hold the phone in your shaking hand. "Because I just can't, okay! I can't keep throwing all of my shit onto you. you know I could never do that!" The man you know as Corpse yells back. You're both stressed out and upset, and this is the worst fight you ever had. You had decided to message 'Sasori Matsudo' on Zaira, and you two grew close very quickly. After 4 months of chatting on the site, he gave you his number. Not long after, he told you That he's the famous Youtuber known as Corpse Husband. You began to watch his videos and enjoyed them a lot, telling him so. In the fifth month of you two knowing each other, You started to call each other once in a while. That turned into calling every day, and soon you were calling more than 4 hours a day.

Your voice softens at his upset tone, realizing you're not the only one hurt here. You give a deep sigh before talking into your phone again. "I'm always here for you Corpse. I don't care how many times you call me, even if it's in the middle of the night. You make me feel better, you make me happy, and I want to be there for you. Please don't shut me out like this." you're practically begging at this point. He can't shut you out! Not like this.

"Void... You know I love you. Please, keep doing what you're doing, keep making videos and baking, and all the little things I love about you. But I just can't continue doing this to you. I'm sorry." He speaks up. The low voice you adore so much is soft and trembling. He sounds like he could break down crying any time now. "No, please, Corpse! Please don't leav-"

your phone lets out a long beep cutting you off. Breaking down crying, you hurl your hand against your mouth, attempting to silence your sobs. On the other side of the line, the man with the curly black mop on his head is doing the same. Tears flow down both of your eyes as void fills your hearts.

It hurts, but he knows he had to do this. He was always troubling you with his feelings, and he couldn't even show you his face! What kind of friend is that? Loud sobs take over his apartment, as his heart hurts, knowing he can't talk to you again.

And he didn't.

You lay on the couch, clenching your blanket awfully hard. You don't notice the tears streaming down your face till Athena climbs onto your lap and licks them off. You cuddle her in an attempt to comfort yourself, as the dark feeling in your chest grows stronger. 

You open a new tab and type in his number. All the old messages show up. He probably blocked you, but you have to try. He wanted you to be happy, but then why did he leave you?!

After that night, he never messaged you again. Did he really not want to talk to you anymore? You ask yourself.

But all Corpse has been doing is lay in bed and upload videos once in a while. His followers noticed something is off, and so has his friends. He's acting off whenever he streams and rarely jokes around anymore. 

You text him a simple 'how are you' and close your laptop after. The next day you check if he's replied. Nothing. You keep checking for two weeks, but nothing comes in. It's over. He's not coming back. You begin sobbing and lift yourself from the couch, scaring a sleeping Athena. You jog to the kitchen and shove everything off the counter, breaking some cups and plates in the process. Sliding down against the sink, you put your face in your hands, letting out an ear-piercing scream. The weight of the world is crashing down on you, and all you can do is cry and scream. The daydream is finally over.

Corpse saw your message.  He's tried messaging you so many times, but each time he holds himself back. All he wants is to talk to you, but he knows he shouldn't. Well, that's what he believes is best. Every day he thinks about you, thinking that you have already forgotten him, though it's the opposite. You think about him every day, remembering all of the memories. 

All the laughs and all the cries. All the comforts, to final goodbyes.

Hey Guys! I hope you're okay after this lil angsty piece of crap lmao. I tried my best. Anyways, if you have any comments or feedback, I always appreciate it! Oh, and 200 notes on 'Grocery Shopping'?!!??? Y'all are crazy, thank you so much!

If you liked this, my taglist is always open and so are my requests!

@persephone-sideblog @reinyrei @cherry-piee @alienvarmint @divine-artemis @milanienne

[andramsimming]

OMG!!

How could I’ve missed it?! 😱

Apparently The Fullmans turned a year old the 4th of November! How?!

I feel like, it was yesterday, I decided to create this little simblr for fun and as a hobby. How has it already been a year?! What a journey it has been ❤️ I’ve thoroughly enjoyed every step of it. The amount of love and support had been wonderful. So, thank you! 

We have likewise reached over 200 followers! - 225 to be exact!!! And I’ve again managed to miss it... sigh... I’m a piece of work sometimes.  But seriously, it’s amazing and unbelievable to me, that so many people from time to time tune in and keep up with my little current household and gameplay. It’s beyond fathomable to me. Thank you so much, again! 

Oh... and btw I’m sorry, that I haven’t been consistent with uploads and that my posts have been extremely long lately 😅 I think, I might try to reduce the amount of text on my post moving forward. Cuz ain’t nobody got time for a dang novel with each post - LOL.

I’ll think about, what I can make as a 200/225 follower- and birthday gift. If any of you, have ideas let me know - as long as it isn’t CC making, cuz mama ain’t that smart. So... send me a message or drop a comment on this post if you have the perfect idea.

[binch-i-might-be]

IM GONNA CRY I TYPED AN ENTIRE ASK ABOUT THIS BEFORE AND TUMBLR FUCKED UP YOU PIECE OF SHIT MY BRAIN IS A FUCKING WAR ZONE RIGHT NOW WITH NEURONS SCREAMING AND WHIZZING YOU THINK I CAN ARTICULATE MY MIND ENOUGH TO DO THIS AGAIN???

No but I will ❤️

Okay so I've been thinking™ about the reincarnation au particularly about the one where gwash kills John (fun I know). My brain has been hyperfixating and I've been crying. Serotonin who? Haven't seen that bitch in a month 🥰🥰

So I do need time to properly articulate my thoughts but here's some shit I have so far

Alex practically lives with John for a while after finding him because he needs time to process all this and figure out how to face everything at home

John calling Alex "darling" softly while absolutely clinging to him and Alex almost sobbing and saying "do that again. Call me darling again"

They're all over each other's social medias (also applies for normal reincarnation au. I have some specific posts in mind but will need time to properly think about them and explore them)

God the dynamic between Alex and Gwash is so fucking complicated and so interesting and something I want to explore when my head isn't fucking pounding.

Alex has a Tumblr (fight me on this) and Patsy and Jacky absolutely hunt it down because he's been posting about John and following each and every update and they're just happy for him while they also miss him. They keep Martha and George updated on him from time to time too because they are worried. Not a lot, just that he's alive and fine.

Alex has Trauma from all that and like eventually he's not like in the same place as John for the night (I don't know how to phrase this arghhhh. Does he go back? Where is he? No clue) and he has a nightmare about losing John all over again and straight up panicking. The nightmares aren't unusual ofc it's just they were there for each other during the others. Now Alex is like panic™ and he calls John in the middle of the night and they both fall asleep on the call

John cannot be in the same room as Gwash without sort of freaking out at first.

Okay good night I'm very tired ❤️ (so sorry for this oof)

OH NO 😭 HELLSITE OUR BELOATHED

what a wonderful thing to fixate on /j but yeah I get that! we are nearing the anniversary of me writing bud bloom wither and I mean I was basically fixating on an au about a dead baby for a month straight lmao

ok ok hrhskdhfjf let's go gays

yeah absolutely. he can't be home right now, and he ESPECIALLY can't be away from John right now

OUCH. ALSO YES

yeah!!!! they're annoyingly in love and both of them will just post random pics of the other because like. look??? at their boyfriend??? look how pretty?? b o y f r i e n d (omg feel free to share once you're ready!!)

hhhh yeah it's. fucked. it's fucked! because that's his dad and he loves his dad but 200 years ago he took the most important thing in Alex's life from him. he thinks he can understand why he did it; he wanted to protect him, he always just wanted to protect him, but this is unforgivable. they aren't the same people as they were back then, but still. how is he supposed to move past this. he can't force his boyfriend to make nice with the man who murdered him. he won't.

no you're correct, of course he does! I think Patsy probably already follows him, but she won't give Jack the url until she's entirely certain he's on their side. they're just looking at his incoherent shitposting broken up by rants about how much he loves his boyfriend and going "yeah he's definitely alive" to their parents lmao

awww baby :( baby boy :( maybe they go on facetime and John looks all soft and sleepy and it calms Alex down immediately. meanwhile John wishes he could reach out and wipe Alex's tears :((

understandable! he probably tries to be chill because on some level he doesn't want to admit that he's affected by this, but. no no he cannot be in a room with gwash, he can't.

ahhh get well soon!!!! <33

[hotchscotchh]

omg congrats on 200 followers!!! can I get a drabble for #9 on the prompt list & Jotch? 🥰

Thank you!! I didn’t think I could do Jotch justice with this prompt so we decided on a platonic!hotchreid :) (and a different prompt hehe)

“I will always be here for you, no matter what. Okay? Don’t ever doubt that.”

This case really hit home for Spencer. He wasn’t normally as affected by the cases with kids as much as other members of the team are, he doesn’t have kids and he doesn’t really have any connection to any except Henry, but he’s still a baby and there’s not really much of a connection between them yet. JJ and Hotch have their own kids. Morgan knows what some of the abuse these kids are receiving is like first hand. Rossi, well, not much affects him, but Spencer suspects there was a chance of him having a child at one point, and Garcia… is Garcia.

That’s not the point. This time the children’s abuse is being broadcasted. Online. And people are watching it. Willingly. He was absolutely disgusted. He couldn’t imagine how much worse it would have been for his recovery from Hankel if anyone other than the members of him team had seen the recordings of his torture. It was hard enough knowing that his family had to watch it.

He disappeared when the rest of the team was eating. He just needed a minute to himself. He found an empty interrogation room that seemed to be smaller than the rest of them and tucked himself into a corner, clicking his fingers in a fruitless attempt to clear some of the overstimulating emotions from his mind. He was so lost in the repetitive action that he didn’t notice the door opening and his superior stepping into the room until the older man carefully sat down on the floor next to him.

“Spencer,” Hotch started quietly, noticing that the younger man’s snapping had slowed, indicating that his presence was known. “Is everything okay?”

This wasn’t the first time Hotch had found him like this. There had been several cases over the past months that just got to him, sometimes without having a real reasoning behind it. This was different. He knew what it was like to have his torture witnessed. Spencer didn’t answer, just rocked forward before settling back into the wall.

“Okay,” Hotch continued, taking the nonverbal cue as a no. “Jack and I got this for you,” Hotch told him and reached into his pocket, pulling out a 2x2 Rubik’s cube that he had picked up a few weeks ago when he saw it at a toy store with Jack. He figured it would be good to have some things for Spencer to fidget with when he got stressed like this. Spencer took it and began twisting the sides, quickly becoming visibly more relaxed.

“Is it the livestreaming?” Hotch asked tentatively.

Spencer’s fingers stopped moving. He nodded, the tears he was holding back beginning to spill.

“Come here,” Hotch told him, holding out an arm that indicated he wanted Spencer to tuck into his side.

Spencer contemplated for a moment before giving in and folding into the older man, relishing in the comfort it gave him. He had slowly become less touch averse with his team over the years, but it wasn’t often that he gave in to the comfort they offered.

Hotch let out a sigh of relief when Spencer settled there, his fingers working the sides of the cube again until he held it out in his palm, solved. “I’ll always be here for you, Spencer, no matter what, okay? Don’t ever doubt that.”

Spencer just nodded again and set to work at undoing what he did to solve the cube.

Taglist: @multixfandomwriter @sbeno22

[akaashisbabydoll]

KARASUNO REACTS: THEY HEARD YOU MET THAT ONE GUY WHO BULLIED YOU IN MIDDLE SCHOOL

You're a freshman. You're Hinata's classmate and bestie. You both get along because you both are loud and energetic af. Sometimes you have your own days but Hinata got used to it already.

Hinata joined the Karasuno Volleball Club and one day he just introduced you to everybody. You all get along even though sometimes you think Tsukisihima doesnt really care about you but Yamaguchi always assures you that, that is not the case.

You dont really have a club yet so you just go help Yachi and Kiyoko prepare things before, during and after a match or practice. Basically, the whole volleyball team was your home.

You always go watch their practice matches and official matches. You went with them on training camps too. Met a lot of strange people but became friends with them as well. Especially when you're with Hinata, anybody can be your friend. He's the king of compliments and motivation.

The team is your family too. They have a special place in your heart and they are a part of your life. They know everything about you and so they take care of you like you're the youngest crow in the family. Sometimes they go overboard especially Tanaka and Noya. You are not even sure if they want to protect you or push you to do stupid things.

They know everything about you especially how people hurt you. You're a crybaby. You've got a soft heart. You forgive easily, you get hurt easily and you believe people easily.

They got an official match and the school not far from Karasuno was also included. Little did you know one of the players was your middle school bully. You always get taken aback whenever you remember or see anything from your past. You got traumatized. Your whole body shakes.

Thats why when you saw that guy in the hallway talking with his teammates your whole body was shaking and you were trying to stop it or minimize it at least. You're scared to distract the team. You dont want them to worry.

"Hey..." your tangerine bestie nudged you on your side with his elbow, "...you good?" He asked you sincerely. Worry is written all over his face, this is why you dont want them to worry.

"O-of course. W-why would-dn't I?" You tried to answer.

"Ohh. Ok then. Let's go?" the tangerine hesitantly asked.

The whole team is preparing for their match while you are sitting on the bench, holding a notebook and a pen. You’re trying your best to control your shaken state. 

You’re looking at the ground trying your best not to cry and not to distract the whole team for their upcoming first match of the day and the season. You know how much they want to go to nationals and you were there in every camps they’re into. So of all people you know how much they want to win.

You were concentrating on how you should control yourself when someone knelt in front of you and cupped your shaking hands with his. You raised your head and you saw the Captain of the team, Daichi. Behind him are the whole team looking at you with worried eyes.

“Whatever you’re thinking. Whatever you saw. We’re here. We’ll always be here.” The captain assured you which made you teary eyes. You looked on your left and there’s Yachi at the verge of crying and  on your right is Kiyoko smiling wholeheartedly at you.

You sniffed and all the boys were frozen. After three seconds they started to panic. Asahi being the first one on that list, “Uh--Uhhh what should we do. What did we do? W-what did you do Daichi?” 

“Me? Why are you blaming me? I didn’t do anything!” Daichi replied.

“Will you two stop? Who’s got a puppy here? Who brought something?! No one?! No one did?! Didn’t I tell you all kids to carry something all the time?!” Suga yelled almost heard in the whole gymnasium.

“Suga-san you didn’t bring anything either.” Ennoshita pointed out.

“I---I did, it was on my pants. I forgot to take it out in my pocket.” Suga said while scratching his nape.

“OH! OH! OH! I know something that can make y/n smile!” Noya excitedly said. Then he suddenly made eye contact with Tanaka, Hinata and Kageyama. Tanaka and Hinata grinned, obviously want to do whatever they’re going to do. Kageyama’s face turned blank. “D-Do we really have to do that? Here? In the gymnasium? Where all players can see us?” He asked.

The three looked at him scarily. “Do you want to see y/n smile or not?” Tanaka asked him.

“Y-you know guys, it’s fine. Kageyama you don---” you were cut off when Kageyama sighed and said yes. Then they suddenly sang and danced that song Meat God where they composed on the spot, one day at summer camp.

The whole team laughed so loud. Tsukkishima shaking his head probably wondering why he’s in this team. Yamaguchi enjoying it so much that he got to film it.

“OK! That’s enough! You all get ready, the game will start in ten minutes!” Coach Ukai said while trying to hold back his laughter. Takeda not even trying to hide his laughter and just laughing his ass off. All eyes were on your team.

“Wish us luck y/n!” they all yelled except Noya and Tanaka asked luck from Kiyoko as well.

They don’t even need luck because you know yourself that their hard work and dedication is stronger than just luck.

While the others were going back to the court, Tsukishima didn’t join them. He just stood there in front of you, was hesitant to do something. You frowned and titled your head, confused on why he’s just standing there when he suddenly threw you his towel and you felt something hard hit you on your forehead. You were ready to fight his ass when you saw what it was. It was a chocolate bar. You smiled. Here you thought Tsukki doesn’t really care about you.

You felt a hand on you shoulder and you looked who it was and its Kiyoko. “You see how they’re dedicated to make you smile? For them you are also important as volleyball. So don’t be hesitant to ask us anything, ok?” You were speechless. You didn’t know they care about you this much. yes they knew all about your past. But you didn’t know they’ll be so affected by it.

You stood up and excused yourself to go to the bathroom. Yachi offered to go with you but you said it’s fine. There might be an emergency later on and they need her.

You were fine going to the bathroom. The thought of seeing one of your bullies a while ago was overlapped with the images of the team laughing.Not until you went out of the bathroom and bumped into him...your bully.

The blood on your face? Gone. You felt cold. Your whole body is shaking. When he took a step towards you, you suddenly felt weak that you immediately knelt.

“y-y/n? what’s wrong?” you can hear how worried he was based from his voice. You wanted to say it’s ok. That you’re ok. But you can’t say anything. There’s a lump on your throat that causes you to get scared more. You want to say something but your voice won’t come out.

You saw him holding your shoulder and hearing him mention your name  a couple of times and suddenly everything went black.

You woke up due to the noise you heard outside, you opened your eyes and white ceiling welcomed you.You felt something soft on your back, you were in a bed. You got up and groaned. Your head hurts so bad.

“That was y/n! That was y/n right?” You can hear Suga’s loud voice outside and the others agreeing to him.

“Yes. It’s her now if you all please---no stop! One at a time boys! You just can’t enter all of you! Coach!” The nurse aggressively said trying to stop them from entering the little clinic they have. 

“Oh my god, Thank god you’re ok” Suga let out a huge sigh and held his chest when he saw me.

“Y/N!” The whole first year (except for Tsukishima), Asahi, Tanaka and Noya yelled in unison when they saw you. At the verge of crying.

Tanaka and Noya approached you and hugged you at the same time. Patting your head like a baby saying bad things to the bully you met.

“Go away that’s my best friend right there!” Hinata said and Tanaka just slapped his hand and hugged you more tightly. Noya joined in and said, “This is our baby!”

“Our baby!” Asahi and Ennoshita reminded them.

“Excuse me? Did I just hear something bullshit?” Suga butted in.

Tsukki sighed and said, “I knew he was going to react badly.” and shook his head. As usual Yamaguchi filming whatever is happening inside that little clinic packed of noisy crows.

“H-how did you all know I was here.” You asked.

“That guy you met. He was the one who carried you here.” Everyone was quiet after Daichi talked. “Why didn’t you tell us that he was your bully? He was the reason why you were shaking before. Right?” You nodded. No voice coming out. 

“I’m sorry if I always worry you guys. It’s not my intention to do that. I just---I was kind of hesitant because you have a match to face---OMG THE MATCH!” You yelled when reality hits you.

Coach Ukai chuckled. “It was finished earlier than expected. When they heard what happened to you, they got so aggressive that they want to finish it already. They won two sets in a row. Kageyama and Yamaguchi with their service ace. It was a landslide.”

“I didn’t even know we can do that.” Yachi added.

Noya and Tanaka starting to rub their face on you like cat. “Our little baby crow. We will take care of you and love you.” Noya said.

Tanaka suddenly rolled up his sleeves and said, “I’m gonna beat the shit out of him. I know where his school is.”

“Speaking of. He actually wanted to talk to you in person. To apologize of his behavior before. He said it’s fine if we’re there too.” Daichi said.

“Ohhh we gonna be there.” Suga said seriously like he was in an action movie while squinting his eyes. Everybody followed him and you saw how stupid they looked so you laughed, loud. You were so happy, about everything. Being with them.

You were cursed before, bullied, hurt and humiliated. But now, you think everything is in place, everybody laughing. You found not only one but sixteen people taking care of you and loving you with the love you so much deserve.

You are happy. Very happy.

- - - - -

Hi guys omg i’m actually happy i got to reach 200 followers *insert crying emoji bc im on my laptop* ily all so much <33 so here’s something from my draft <33

M A S T E R L I S T 

[kirarubye]

KDA Akali x Fem! Reader

Fan Behavior pt.1

So this is my first fanfic on here *cheering* I hope you guys do enjoy and request or just talk to me.

“(Y/N)! Are you almost ready? We need to leave now if we want to get there on time.” I here my sister Kai call out to me. I huffed slightly as I pulled on my boots in a hurry. “ I’m coming! I’m trying to move as fast as I can!” I yelled back as I grabbed my small handbag and placed a few in that I knew I needed. Looking up at my mirror, I applied a bit of Chapstick before dropping it into my bag and running out my room in excitement.

Today was the day that I can finally see my idols and talk to them. Kai and I had won Meet and Greet tickets to see my favorite girl group, KDA. Just the tickets alone made me go crazy. I was so excited to see them but I was also so excited to see Akali, my favorite in the group and my crush. 

I ran down the stairs as fast as I can without slipping or falling before looking at Kai. She looked at and raised a eyebrow, A silent question asking if I was finally ready. I grinned at her before heading out the door and to the car, Kai following behind me. I got in the car as Kai locked the door before jogging to the car. I looked over at her as she got in before speaking. “I still can’t believe you go two tickets to their meet and greet! I still wished we could of gotten the concert tickets but I’m happy with this!” I rambled, bouncing in my seat as Kai giggled. she turned on the car turning to me and grinning. “Let’s get this show on the road, shall we?” She asked and I grinned.

Almost a hour later, we were pulling up to the venue of the Meet and Greet. I looked in awe at the long line of fans and the cars covering the place. Kai looked around.” We might have to walk. I knew It was going to be packed but..” She stopped as she seen a parking spot. I turned to look at her as she grinned, pulling into the parking spot. “The God’s are on our side today!” She said happily and I giggled. We quickly got our things and got out the car before heading to the line. Luckily, they started letting fans in. We pulled out our tickets and looked at the seat number. My eyes widened and I looked at Kai.

“Kai, how did you get front front row tickets?” I asked softly so only she could hear. Kai looked at me and smirked. “(Y/N). If I couldn’t get good seats then my ship wouldn't be able to sail. Plus they aren’t allowing to may people. I think 200 is the max for the meet and greet.” She said and I ohh’ed before nodding. Soon we were next. They scanned our tickets before letting up in. My excitement grew as we walked into the venue. I squealed as we walked past rows of fans, each wearing or hold something of KDA merch. I looked towards the stage to the huge screen with a picture of the girls on it. I but my lip in excitement as we sat down. Kai looked towards me as I looked around the stage. I looked towards the curtains as I seen crew members walking out, setting everything up.

We sat there for another few minutes before “MORE” started to play. My eyes widened as I bounced in my seat. Fans started screaming as slowly the came out, waving at everyone. I screamed loudly as Akali came out with a grin on her face. My heart started racing as my face heated up slightly. Kai sitting there laughing at how I was acting but I ignored her, keeping my eyes on Akali. But suddenly we made eye contact. 

I sucked in a huge breath as my face grew redder because she was looking straight at me. I watched as she eyed me before sending a small smirk and wink my way. My eyes widened even more before I quickly looked away at Kai. She was already looking at me with her mouth wide open. “D-Did that just happen?” Kai asked in disbelief and I started fanning myself. “Omg!” I squealed as they introduced themselves. It took me a moment to finally calm down and be able to face back toward them as they began talking. They answered fan questions, played games and just had fun. Akali and I eyes connected a lot more during the whole event which lasted for a hour and a half. Each time she would do something different. Winking, smirking, she even bit her lip at me. She was flirting hardcore and It was making me so flustered.

The event finally ended. Everyone was sad to see them have to leave but we cheered them on for the performance later that day. I smiled as I made eye contact with Akali once more, giving her a small wave. She smiled back before walking to the back. I turned toward Kai who was grinning at me. “My ship has sailed.” She sung and I blushed before hitting her shoulder hard. “Shut up!” I yelled as she laughed. We decided to wait a bit for everyone to leave before we began to make our way to the door. “Excuse me!” Someone calls out and look around confused. Everyone had already left so it was just Kai and me. I turned around, looking for who called out. Kai also turned around before squealing. My mouth dropped as I watched the four girls of KDA walking towards up. Evelynn was slightly dragging Akali who had a huge blush on her face while Ahri and Kai’sa was behind giggling.

My face flushed as Kai slightly pushed me forward. I turned and glared slightly as Evelynn spoke. “Why Hello. My friend here-“ She said as she pushed Akali forward. Akali looked at me before looking away. I could tell she was blushing with her mask still on. I blushed to as I looked back at Evelynn as she spoke. “She wouldn’t stop looking at you and flirting on the stage. So we all came up with the idea of introducing you two.” Evelynn finished speaking. Kai’sa looked at Kai as Kai was staring at her with heart eyes. She reached out and lightly grabbed onto Kai arm before the four of them left to the back. I looked back at Akali who was now looking at me. My face heated up before I spoke. “H-Hi, My name is (Y/N) and I’m a huge fan!” I spoke as she smiled.

“You already know who I am,most likely but My name is Akali. I couldn’t help but notice you throughout the Meet and Greet.” She said as she pulled her mask down and looked at me. “I think your beautiful and I would love to get to know you...” She said. My eyes widened and My heart started to beat fast. “R-Really! I mean, of course! Oh my gosh I can’t believe it!” I said as I hid my face behind my hands. I heard her giggle as she grabbed my hands and pulled them away from my face. “Will you be coming to the concert?” She asked and I shook my head. “I would but my sister was only able to get the meet and greet.” I said as I looked at her hands holding mines before looking back at her. “Well.. Can I have your number... And could I take you on a date?” She asked and my head moved on it’s on. I nodded so quickly, I almost got dizzy. She grinned before we exchanged numbers. I blushed hard before I heard walking.

“(Y/N)!” I heard Kai voice as she walked to me, a smile on her face. I turned to her before looking back at Akali. “I will meet you outside, ok.” I said and she nodded before sending me a small smirk. After she left, I turned around. “I guess I have to go.” I said softly. She smiled at me before leaning in and giving me a long kiss on the cheek. “Trust me. It won’t be the last time you see me. Now I have to make you mines.” She said with a smirk. My eyes widened before I blushed deeply. “See you later Akali!” I squealed before running out the building to the car where Kai was sitting in the car. I looked back towards the building before getting in. I looked at Kai and she looked at me before we both screamed and squealed in happiness. After a few minutes of that we left the parking lot. My phone dinged and I looked at the message. It was from a unknown number. I opened the message and smiled.

“Your fan behavior was adorable. See you soon, (Y/N).”