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brujamala-aka-gigi · 2 months ago

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tarot tea spill session ౨ৎ ⋆｡˚

. ݁ hot girl mindset ⨾ 𓍢ִ໋

beauty as a reflection of self instead of the self trying to reflect “beauty”

Okay, so beauty is in the eye of the beholder and etc. And that's right, but many beholders of eyes have pretty unrealistic ideas of beauty. Beauty is subjective, yes, but this subjectivity is also heavily influenced by social discourses which are manufactured to remain unsatisfied and are meant to keep us engaging in a constant struggle to find our perfect aesthetic peak, and maintain it. Although visual communication by engaging in aesthetic expressions of self is useful, from time to time it's hard to find out what exactly is the self we want to express. In no way I think wanting to be attractive is vain or superficial, I don't think looking for beauty is some sort of vapid journey. But I do think that in the same way paintings are beautiful not only for what's perceived by the eyes but also because of the feelings, thoughts, history and overall the aura they possess, human beauty can be approached in that way too. Some art pieces and some humans are not meant to appeal to everyone, but the ones who they appeal to are profoundly captivated by the depths of their meaning and their unique ways of communicating it. These readings hopefully will give you some inspiration on where you can find the uniqueness and the true essence of what's attractive about you, but not by reducing aesthetics as just something pretty to look at, instead we are approaching this as a search for the meaning behind what could be communicated visually.

dividers by: @the-aesthetics-shop , @dollywons, @cafekitsune

pile one pile two pile three

.‧͙˚ *༓ scroll down for the readings ⋆ִ ‧͙⁺˚

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໒꒰ྀི 𝒑𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒏𝒖𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓 𝒐𝒏𝒆 ꒱ྀི১

The Fool & The Nine Of Disks

Both of these cards show stages of your journey. The fool is usually considered a beginning but I prefer to understand him as the constant creative potential that nothingness gives us; for it to be a beginning there has to be a starting point, and for many of us the starting point is a void we'd like to fill, or something that needs further exploration and understanding by providing meaning to it. This is something that could happen at any point in your journey. Yet as existential and subjective as this card is, usually leading to a more mind focussed approach to reality, the materiality of your spiritual or mental exploration manifests in a grounded sense of ambition. The nine of disks represents how the fruits of your well developed thoughts can manifest in or enhance material prosperity, but in combination with the fool it hints at a constant search for experiences that allow you to feel childlike wonder, and this seems almost like completion feels too close but never close enough. You are willing to evolve through experimentation and furthering the limits of your views and possibilities, but you are also capable of being grounded enough to be aware of what's in your best interest and what can actually be an opportunity for growth. The beauty in you shows when you are embracing these journeys of self exploration and putting value in all the stages of your own personal development. How you feel while doing stuff isn't all that relevant, you could be ingenious, creative, naive, secure, anxious, angry or ambitious about what you do, but what really matters is that you are able to remain confident in your ability to navigate the feelings and the adversities from it; there are consequences implied (positive and negative) to the actions you take in order to become more comfortable and aligned with your ideals. Therefore, the best way to communicate this experiential based establishment of identity, it’s to explore and experiment with aesthetics until you establish a way in which you can visually communicate all the complexities of your identity, without limiting yourself to aiming for a perfectly curated presence. Allow yourself to make aesthetic choices that align with what you are going through as a person, but also don’t hesitate to choose elements of high value that could function as a reward you give yourself.

໒꒰ྀི 𝒑𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒏𝒖𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒘𝒐 ꒱ྀི১

The Lovers & Seven of Disks

Honestly, these are lovely cards to get on this reading, pretty wholesome. Not because the lovers mean love and romance and so on, they do sometimes, but in this case I think it would be necessary to focus on the union and alignment that comes with the energy of this card. What I get from it is that you are naturally inclined to find connections between things that other people usually look to balance out, things that are usually thought as opposite to each other. Instead of that, you are capable of working with polarity in your life because you understand that putting in the work to ensure these apparent opposites are actually mutually nurturing each other or cooperating to further evolve, is what brings you a sense of natural harmony. Your instinctive need to find order and structures that embrace innate essential expressions of being, is something quite aligned with values such as perseverance, faith, gratitude, honest labor and most importantly, solidarity. For these reasons,the seven of disks indicates to me that you are someone who is willing to put in a lot of time, effort and work to create bonds with people, places, communities and activities, where everyone is having a positive impact on each other's aspirations and achievements. Taking this into consideration, first and foremost it is clear that no matter how you choose to express your aesthetic taste, it’s likely your virtues overshine any beauty that’s easily perceived by the eye. That being said, I would also point at the fact this also means there’s no need to feel insecure or overthink too much about if everyone else likes the way you look. Your actions and your warm presence speak louder than any kind of aesthetic choice that could be liked or disliked. Take your time to think about what are the elements you enjoy wearing or the beauty habits that could be positive. Choose beauty when it feels genuinely convenient and positive to you, only to you. I don’t think being conventionally attractive or deemed as beautiful by everyone is the best way to compensate or balance out anything you considered negative, but I do think that approaching aesthetics or any kind of beauty related activities as a little tool to take time for yourself, could be quite useful. Remember, appeal to yourself, to your eyes first. "Vanity" can be relaxing and/or empowering as long as it doesn't get in the way of your genuine desires and objectives. Embrace and enhance what feels true to you, be intuitive when dealing with your personal aesthetics.

໒꒰ྀི 𝒑𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒏𝒖𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒆 ꒱ྀི১

Ace of Wands & The Hanged Man

Okay definitely you are someone who is not afraid to go outside of people's standards or even your own when you are empowered by creativity. This combination of cards brings an outstanding and innovative approach to constructing ideas and taking action by being able to see all perspectives before crafting your own; there’s a heavy sense of complex integrity and depth to everything you do. You know when to be an observer and when to be a protagonist, you are comfortable in both and let’s be real, it's most likely that you don’t need others to give you the spotlight, as you are providing it by yourself for yourself. Attention naturally goes to you due to your passionate energy and your individuality. For better or for worse somehow it's pretty common for you to stand out, even if you don’t mean to. Many people try or have tried to single you out, or to force you out of places where your perspectives might generate discomfort. I doubt it is your intention to cause friction by existing according to ideals that many people don’t quite get or are unwilling to understand or tolerate. But I’m also pretty sure that you have the confidence and the knowledge to stand for what makes you distinct from others. These cards are conjunct in a way that shows me that you are aware of how to put a little bit of yourself and your creativity even when there’s restrictions to self expression. If you are interested in also taking an intricate, unique and maybe antithetical approach to aesthetics, make sure you find the right places and the right people to share this journey with. Sometimes eccentricity allows others to impose limits and judgments against us that are not worth the struggle, other times it is quite worth it to visually go against norms. I believe you are capable of understanding how and when to use all the tools and methods from people who inspire your creative processes, therefore I'm sure that you will truly bring necessary and valuable approaches to dissidence and defiance communicated by aesthetics, but also you will get closer to people who are drawn to you because you can look just as interesting and insightful as your thoughts are. It seems to me that aesthetics can serve you as a way to further develop your creative visions but also to find more like minded people who are not going to make you feel like an outsider.

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⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆ available for personal readings ⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

btw after finishing this p.a.c i realized this would be a cool reading to provide as a personal service. so, here's the essence of beauty reading and a 40% off discount to it.

much love, gigi.

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valtsv · 7 months ago

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okay but the entire concept of saints in the silt verses is so immensely fucked up. like. it sets up this entire class/caste system of people whose purpose is to grease the wheels that keep the rest of society running by being tortured until their bodies are twisted and reshaped into tools of forced labour. and this conscription explicitly targets some of the most marginalised and vulnerable groups as a punishment for their perceived failure to perform an adequate or useful role in society. there doesn't even appear to be a limit - as long as the gods are fed, saints can be mass-produced and reproduced to meet whatever quota is drawn up. their dehumanisation is absolute; VAL is almost certainly not the only saint to ever retain her sapience, she's just the first where it was considered an asset - how many saints were purged shortly after their birth because they were too aware of the horror of their own existence? even progressives like shrue refer to them as "it"s, emphasising the pronoun to give weight to the point that saints are generally considered to be too divorced from their own humanity to be worth advocating for. they're just an unfortunate part of life! we have to keep our infrastructure running somehow! and when we hear from some of the legislatures who do use their (presumably) preferred pronouns as identity markers, like carson with VAL and the timothy the inspiration saint, well, that's somehow even worse, because it shows that they either see them as fundamentally disposable people who deserve what happens to them (as implied by the joke about having shrue hallowed for being too outspoken about their reservations), and/or they know that they're committing human rights violations, and they know they can get away with it.

#🐉#the real-world parallels are obvious enough that i wont spell them out. but WHEW.#shrue leaves that meeting and heads straight to hr and its just carson wearing a different tie #the silt verses

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omniverseexplorer · 2 years ago

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The Complete Guide to Nondualism

Disclaimer: I want to talk about nondualism because to be honest I have “outgrown” the law of assumption and I really resonate with nondualism. Nondualism IS NOT a method, technique, concept, or a law like the law of assumption to get your desires, it is a lifestyle. If you don’t resonate with this you can keep scrolling.

The definition of nondualism

"Non-dualism or advaita vedanta means "Not Two" and at its core it is saying that we are just Awareness. Awareness like Non-dualism are labels that are unreal, everything that is spoken and explained are concepts and all concepts are imagination. What we truly are is indescribable, unimaginable, pure nothingness (no-thing, not nothing!), awareness, imagination, ultimate intelligence, THAT, IT, whatever you want to call it. Everything you perceive is You. There is nothing else but You"- by @infinite.ko on Instagram.

What does this all mean?

If you are familiar with Neville Goddard’s terminology “I am” we are literally that…we are pure consciousness/awareness/imagination, and we are all one. The difference between Neville Goddard’s views of the “I am” is that he had limiting beliefs that we are still our pure consciousness living in our human bodies and experiencing life through “states.” In nondualism, we are simply pure consciousness/imagination/awareness, we are every-thing, anything, and no-thing at the same time. We are all one consciousness means that we are our toothbrush, our phone, our tv, the animals, houses, plants, each other, Hogwarts, our sps, anything and everything you can imagine because we are imagination itself…it all stems from SELF. We are all one Self, we are silence. You know when you stare out into space and you zone out with no thoughts in your mind? That is who we truly are as pure consciousness/imagination/awareness, just silence in the now because time is an illusion, there are no past or future. When nondualism says who we are is “I am” it means I=consciousness, awareness, imagination Am=is. You simply ARE, it is unmoving: never changes, never dies, never leaves, and it is always there and has always been there and it is SILENT. There is nothing to be “aware of,” you already are always awareness right now and that is who we all are at our truest Being. In fact….everything is an illusion-your physical human senses, your physical human body, thoughts, feelings, assumptions, states, beliefs, words, and everything around you is an illusion. Even the word nondualism is an illusion, we are such an indescribable thing that this is the closest thing that we can get to describing who we truly are. As pure awareness/consciousness/imagination the things around you in your physical reality only seem to be “real” because you are simply aware/conscious of them. The moment you take your awareness/consciousness away from them they cease to exist until you bring your attention back to them. As pure consciousness/imagination/awareness we are the creators of our “realities” (that in itself is an illusion), our own creations, and most of all observers which means things only exist when we observe (aware/conscious) of them.

Awareness and “Observing”

You are awareness. You are consciousness. You are imagination. You are the observer of your reality. They all mean the same exact thing, meaning you are always awareness. It isn’t anything separate from you or even in you-it’s YOU! The physical senses are not real, only your awareness is. Anything that you experience with your physical 5 senses is not real, in fact you being aware of that thing has no image at all either. We are so indescribable, formless, and imageless and everything else around us is as well too. In terms of observing: “the moment you imagine something, it exists” (imagining meaning you bring into awareness aka just know it’s real) it exists because it’s literally you! You have no image you only show up in whatever you observe so basically when you observe your desire whatever it is it instantly exists because it’s you. You have no image so that thing you observed is you already exists because you gave it your awareness, therefore it’s here so don’t question it! You are the laptop, you are the trees, you are the house, you are Hogwarts, etc anything and everything you observe simply because you are bringing your awareness to it as that “image” but it’s all you! You shouldn’t rely on your physical senses at all because it’s an illusion that’s showing up as what you observed in the past, it literally has no meaning!

So…is this the void state?

No, the void state like every other “concept” is an illusion. The void state implies that it’s some kind of “state” that’s “within us” and we must reach through meditation. We ARE ALWAYS awareness, we already are IT. The “void state” implies that we need to “get into a state” to “manifest/reality shift instantly.” We always do everything instantly, the reason why things don’t “seem” instant is because we identify with our human bodies, human mind, and human eyes which are all illusions.

What about Self concept?

I know I always preached self concept, and while it’s not a bad thing and it is still beneficial if you still follow the law of assumption in nondualism you do not need to work on your self concept. We are all one consciousness/awareness/imagination therefore there’s no point in working on self concept because any other identification besides our truest Being is an illusion. Awareness/consciousness/imagination has no self concept because it has no body image, we already are everything and anything right now as one consciousness/awareness/imagination. All you need to do is let go of your identification with your human body, human mind, and human eyes and fully embrace Self as Awareness. Doze off and stare into space or close your eyes and focus on the blackness before your eyes, you know how everything seems to become still when you concentrate on either of these things? Okay that is who you truly are as awareness, because we are silence, so tell yourself: I am pure awareness, and I am letting go of my identification with my human body, human mind, and ego. You might feel a huge weight lifted off of your chest, or nothing! It’s okay either way because it’s who we truly are so it’s supposed to feel natural and neutral. You might get some push back from the ego which is okay just to remind yourself that your ego is an illusion. You just need to practise being in silence more and surrender to who you truly are with trust and you will notice major changes with Self.

What about the 4D vs 3D and DRs?

There’s no such thing as a 3D (physical reality) vs 4D (nonphysical) reality or “DRs”- they are all inseparable because the only thing that exists is imagination which is self. We are imagination, so these “realities” stem from self, the 3D, 4D, and DRs are just the same thing which is imagination. I want to clarify that when I say we are “imagination” I am not talking about visualising, that is a method. Imagination are concepts and ideas, it is infinite and indescribable. The concept of realities in itself is an illusion-reality is like a Sims game, where we can instantly change anything and everything we want based on what we decide to become aware/conscious of, since all that exists is awareness/consciousness. The moment you want to “manifest” something and shift your awareness to having it already, the physical illusion reality does change instantly, we just don’t see it with our human eyes because we assume that there’s some kind of delay. When we let go of our human identity, human senses, and human body and begin to truly identify with Self (awareness/consciousness/imagination) we begin to realise that we never lacked anything because we are everything and anything we can imagine right now. Everything comes instantly because we understand it’s not current reality vs desired reality or 3D vs 4D but imagination vs imagination and time isn’t real. There never was a time delay or mirroring between the 3D vs 4D, it only exists because we were aware/conscious of it-they are the same exact thing which is just imagination-aka US because we are imagination.

How does this relate to Manifesting and Reality Shifting?

Okay, so first and foremost “manifesting” and “reality shifting” just like every other word are just an illusion. As pure consciousness/awareness/imagination we are everything and anything we can imagine right now. “Lacking” does not exist, you can never lack when you are imagination. Also, you do not “manifest” or “reality shift” all you are doing is changing your awareness as the observer. Since you already are everything and anything right now all you need to do is switch your awareness because you already are it/have it right now whatever you want to “manifest” and wherever you want to “reality shift.” Everything is like a Sims game that can be changed within an instant because everything is just imagination. All we ever are is pure consciousness/awareness therefore what manifests/reality shifts are what we are conscious/aware of. Truly if you wanted to you can turn yourself into a tree, cat, your idol, etc because everything and anything is SELF one consciousness and all an illusion. Thoughts, states, assumptions, feelings, doubts, “methods”, and intention are not what “manifests”/”reality shifts”-it’s what you are aware/conscious of that manifests/reality shifts. Here’s this simple formula of all you ever need to do in order to “manifest/reality shift” in the nondualism perspective:

Decide what you “want” to have. It’s as simple as saying to yourself: I have/I am at______

Become aware/conscious/observe (in other words just know) that you already have it because you are imagination.

Don’t do anything else-you are everything and anything right now so therefore there’s no lacking or wanting because you already have it, just maintain your awareness/consciousness of having it/being there right now. You are your desires no matter what it is right now because you are imagination/consciousness/awareness, you are everything and anything right now.

Note: There is no reason to persist, for example since you have your phone on your hand do you keep telling yourself that you have your phone? No, you just are conscious/aware (know) you have your phone. You don’t constantly think about having your phone, you just know you have it. Since we are everything and anything, we already have our desires/we already are in our DRs right now and there’s nothing you need to persist on. Persisting implies lack because it seems like you are getting something, going back to the phone analogy when you naturally have it you don’t think about it often. As consciousness/awareness this is how you are supposed to view your desires you simply know you already have it. You can persist if you’re doing it with knowing that you already have what you want, and simply doing it as a reminder to maintain the fact that you already have what you want. You don’t persist to “get” something there’s nothing to “get” because you already have/are your desires. You persist to remind yourself that you already have/are what you want.

About the “time lag"

Time lags only exist because you have been taught that there’s a 3D and 4D and the 3D must mirror the 4D at all times and that it takes “time” for the 3D to catch up to your desires. The solution is stop identifying with your human body and human senses and begin to embody Self (consciousness/awareness/imagination) . Truly understand that there’s no separation of “3D and 4D” because the only thing that exists is YOU AS IMAGINATION! You are relying and identifying too much on the human physical senses, which is just an illusion. You will stop worrying about time because everything including time is an illusion and you will know that you already have everything and anything right now because you are everything and anything as imagination. Also, change your awareness/consciousness that time lag isn’t real whenever you become aware/conscious (or observe) of something you desire. The past and future do not exist, there is only now. The past and future are concepts from the mind because think about it all we have is now, the past and future only occur when we think about it and the human mind is an illusion too. Whatever you are aware of right now, no matter what the physical senses show you because it’s all an illusion is what is true because you have brought awareness to it and time isn’t real. When you truly KNOW who you are as awareness/imagination/consciousness and let go fully of the illusion of human identification things will begin to seem “instant.” You will not care about what the physical senses show you because you will truly know and understand that as one awareness, we already are/have everything and anything we can imagine because all that exists is SELF, US, IMAGINATION!

Questions I will not answer

If you ask any of these questions it shows me you haven’t read my guide and I will be mean 😊

Is it the void state?

How do I become aware of something?

How do I manifest/reality shift?

Conclusion

Even words such as nondualism, consciousness/awareness/imagination, silence, and observer are limiting and illusions to who we truly are. They’re the closest things to conceptualising and describing who we are but even then paradoxically it’s all an illusion. We are beyond such words and descriptions, we are indescribable. We are every-thing, anything, and no-thing at the same time: we are Self, one imagination/consciousness/awareness. There are no 3D vs 4D or DRs, there's just imagination which is just US and time lags do not exist unless we are aware of them. Everything including our human bodies and human senses are just an illusion so when it comes to “manifesting”/”reality shifting” it isn’t current reality vs dream reality it is imagination vs imagination. What “manifests”/”reality shifts” is what we are aware/conscious of, not our thoughts, states, assumptions, laws, etc because all we are is pure consciousness/awareness.

#nondualism #non duality #manifestation #manifesting #reality shifting #shifting #shiftblr #spiritualgrowth #spirituality #advaita vedanta

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punkpandapatrixk · 10 months ago

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🪷Sacred Lotus Within You ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

‘If you only do what you can do, you will never be more than what you are now.’

‘I don’t wanna be more! I like who I am.’

‘You don’t even know who you are.’

‘What do you— Of course I do; I’m the Dragon Warrior!’

‘And what exactly does that mean—Dragon Warrior?’

— Po and Shifu’s conversation from Kung Fu Panda 3

SONG: Pure Imagination by Gene Wilder

MOVIE: Kung Fu Panda 3 (2016)

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 2]

[Patreon] [Paid Readings]

A hard Life is not always a divine punishment of sort⛈More often than not, the Universe’s most advanced Souls choose to be born—as Humans—into much sorrow and a perceived sense of limitation just for the joy of experiencing a personal breakthrough out of a cycle of—both—good and bad Karma🍄

Seen from a Soul’s perspective, all events in this mortal world are just drama. drama. drama~🎭It’s so exciting to co-Create massive stories with other Souls in this theatre of the Universe🎪This Play in itself, a spiritual evolution of sort for all beings of Love and Light🩰

This world is at best the dream of a Butterfly🦋Have fun; and have faith that in time all things bloom magnificently like a Sacred Lotus emerging from the mud🪷Ultimately, all of us, we bring with us only memories of our lifetimes when we are done playing our roles in this Grand Experiment of a Cosmic Drama💫

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – Peace Maker

VIBE: Master Shifu asking Po to teach him inner peace

seeds of beauty in you – 10 of Pentacles Rx

Encoded in your DNA is the very gift of healing itself. You were born into this world of stupid carrying seeds of peace-making. Yup, you were the kid who was always able to tell when a grownup was lying. Like, OMG, so disrespectful…they think I can’t see through such obvious lies? In fact, too many things were obvious to you because you are gifted with a keen ability of observation. We’re talking superhuman-level observation, baby~

With that, the world around you was often terribly dull. You’re definitely the type that wants to travel and see the world for yourself. Wanting to see what other people of different nations and races, customs and cultures, even religions, have to share about what this Life is all about~ You had A LOT of questions!

Alas… You soon realised that most people’s perceptions, priorities, and overall ways of life are low-quality at best. Your interactions with people, your observations of them, gave you almost nothing but disdain. People…are not intelligent enough. But more disturbing still…people are not noble enough in their pursuits of a good Life.

In your eye, most of the time, people don’t have enough integrity, character, or personality🤷🏻‍♀️

blooming in spite of muddy water – 7 of Pentacles Rx

If you’re often distressed by the state of Humanity, it is because you possess this divine ability to pierce through bullshit and reveal the true essence of all things. You’re a deep diver. You truly are a scholar. You’re the type that seeks to bridge between differences and clashes, so that people find a common ground upon which they could build a harmonious society. You most likely have a significant placement in the 7th House or blessed with a strong Libra/Venus aenergy~⚖️

Essentially, you’ve come into this world with an almost specific purpose of bridging differences between generations. All because your Oversoul was sick of watching Humans being fools amongst themselves. So you plunged into this world of illusions in the hopes of elevating people’s spiritual intelligence. Your unique gift of observation is piercing and high-vibrational and the reason it can bridge generations is that the wisdom you will develop as a person is both universal and timeless💎

You are an Ascended Master, you know. Like Po returning to the mortal world after defeating Kai. Like Gandalf the Grey returning as Gandalf the White after defeating the Balrog. All because you’ve got shit to do in this world of stupid—your wisdom is gravely needed! I’m not teaching you to be conceited or anything, but by means of technicality, you’re not here to learn anymore; you’re here to…teach🤣

tulips of happiness – Knight of Cups

No matter your age or their age, you’re here to teach the infantile Humans about inner peace and true, everlasting, sustainable, manageable, actually reasonable sense of Harmony🌷You do that by setting an example; by first bridging confusions and calming down chaos within yourself; then you talk about the walk to anybody interested enough to listen to you🌾

In this lifetime, as an Ascended Master playing Human, there’s probably a lot of heartache you’ve needed to learn to forgive. If you’re in your early or mid-20s when reading this, you’re most likely just beginning to learn it. You don’t have to act perfectly though. Healing and forgiveness are not about being or doing perfect. It’s perfectly OK, too, not to forgive—certain cruelties in this world are simply beyond absolution, ya know?🤬

What does truly matter is that you forgive yourself. Just yourself. You can forgive the situation. You can forgive the fact you fucked your way into this or that mess. Where applicable, you can give thanks to the experience and then move on to the next thing. Be glad about the fact that you’re still alive after all of the fuckery, and that you’ve enough self-awareness, and how that self-awareness has grown you as a person. It is such a beautiful thing to have grown up in the mental and spiritual~🦉

ESSENCE OF BEING HUMAN🔻💜

the script you chose – Silver Alchemist (Ramon Llull)

path of self-transcendence – Priestess of Healing

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – Pink Radiance

VIBE: Master Oogway sending universe mail to Li Shan

seeds of beauty in you – III The Empress Rx

Oooh~ You’re pretty~ That much I can tell🙊You probably are blessed with some significant Aries, Aquarius, or any Cardinal aenergy in your birth chart; could also have Venus/Moon in the 1st or 11th House~ And do you know why you’re bestowed with an outer appearance that’s easily considered attractive in this realm? Because you’re meant to have an audience🎙

You’re meant to be heard; to have a platform and be some sort of a leader. And since being pretty in this world brings a lot of privileges, your Soul chose to be born with this specific setting in your birth chart wHoA~ A pretty face gets attention more effortlessly and that’s just how it is with this world~🙈

So, you see that there’s meaning in having some forms of privilege whether it’s your face or your family/economic background, or even heritage or some special lineage thing going on in your Life🎰And yet, it seems you could’ve been blind to all this ‘upper hand’ and not see much value in your existence.

None of this has felt all that special…well, because you were born with it. It’s not special; it’s normal to you; and you definitely want to feel special…not really grasping others would kill to have what you were born with…🐞

blooming in spite of muddy water – XVI The Tower

In spite of all of the privileges that seem obvious and enviable to others, you yourself have not felt all that blessed most of your Life. There is this thing that people don’t understand about you: EXPECTAFUCKINTION. Expectation could kill, depending on situation, and depending on where you are in Life. In many ways, you haven’t really ever felt FREE in your beingness. You don’t really know how FREE truly would feel like. You can imagine it, but you don’t really know if that’s even real🤷🏻‍♀️

Whether it’s status, prestige, or simply beauty, sometimes you’ve felt victimised by the very things other people wish they had. They literally don’t know how suffocating it is to be wearing your crown~ You often feel like you don’t have autonomy over your own Life. In some instances, you may even have experienced your autonomy getting violated. And it’s so heartbreaking.

At some point in Life, you will suddenly and gradually lose access to all of these beauties and privileges, maybe even some of your talents, babe. All these things that came ever so naturally to you, once you’ve lost ‘em, you will die in spirit, and be reborn with a renewed sense of appreciation for the fact you have always, ALWAYS, been extraordinary👿

tulips of happiness – King of Swords

Whether you are a girl or a boy or straight or gay or whatever, you are an ally of the world’s Divine Feminine aenergy. Do not worry about losing your glory; it will aaalll come back stronger and sparklier once you’ve graduated the University of Hell a.k.a Saturn Return🪐

It is part of your Soul’s Blueprint to experience losing privileges, perhaps money, talents, friends, freedom, hair, weight, and everything else, momentarily. This period of your Life—whether it’s your first or second Saturn Return—can be likened to a pregnant woman who’s now restricted from drinking, eating, doing, or even being near certain things. She’s not so free, but for all the right reasons; she’s protecting her foetus.

This Saturn Return period of your Life where you’re experiencing losing yourself is like a pregnancy where you’re gestating a newer, stronger, clearer, more confident version of yourself. The restrictions put around you are meant to suffocate you further, enough for you to want a breakthrough. All so you can become a pure Pink Radiance of a miracle this miserable world needs, for that is your purpose for being born🌷

Shine on, Pink Diamond~

ESSENCE OF BEING HUMAN🔻💗

the script you chose – Green Historian (Herodotus)

path of self-transcendence – Priestess of Prosperity

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – Magic Worker

VIBE: Po teaching the tribe to be THEMSELVES

seeds of beauty in you – 9 of Cups Rx

Within you are seeds of a luxurious lifestyle that you ought to nurture slowly throughout the course of your Life. You may have come from a background of lack just to make this whole scenario more exciting (to us as Souls contrasts are exceedingly attractive when thinking of a spiritual breakthrough). With that, you could’ve grown up with lots of daydreaming about feeling fulfilled—emotionally fulfilled.

Though you may have daydreamed about luxurious environments and things and situations, at the core of everything, all you yearn for is a feeling of safety; stability; of having just enough…of being enough, in fact…all because you weren’t emotionally nurtured as a child. You were the kid who were neglected by everybody, both the adults and your peers.

You felt unseen most of your Life. But even those who acted like they saw you, somehow the view was inaccurate. You felt this way because you didn’t understand yourself either. Children learn about themselves through the feedback of their environment; so the ones who were mostly neglected…how could such children even begin to learn to comprehend their identity?

Because you didn’t really understand yourself, it was difficult to manifest properly. In your psyche, there are way too many threads of wishes that are tangled up, causing you to manifest clashing Realities…and then disappoint you…

blooming in spite of muddy water – XXI The World

The reason for this difficulty is that you needed to learn and discover for yourself the true Essence of being alive. You are essentially God’s messenger to help Humans overcome their addiction to material possessions. Omaigosh if you know how TikTok shopping culture is making people poorer and more miserable in the emotional, I’m sure this will ring a bell in your Soul Memory.

People who grew up poor are the main target of evil marketing because they crave that feeling of ‘having’. Sometimes, it’s a feeling of having things—trendy things; some other times, it’s a feeling of having friends—cool friends; and some tragical times, of having someone to love—which usually only translates to ONS or casual hookups without any real emotional connection.

Anyway, back to talking about material possessions though, there’s this:

‘Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.’ – George Carlin

This, is a concept, a Reality, you’ve needed to learn and fully comprehend, and then unravel by means of your personal spiritual transformation. That way you can be an example and a guide to others. Reminiscent of Uncle George himself, you’re somebody who holds an Elder Archetype aenergy about you. You’re ‘worldly’ in the sense that you’re based, well-thinking, and most of all, you can embrace perspectives that are UNIQUE. You’re able to hold a knowledge that encompasses the whole of the Universe itself.

tulips of happiness – 4 of Pentacles

In a sense, know that you are a born leader. Though I sense, you may be more interested in being a thought leader🧠You don’t seem that interested in leading an envoy or a movement of any sort hahaha You’re a loner; you like being in your own company. After all, people are stupid and it’s exhausting to have to interact with them. And that’s all fine~

In the future, when everything’s said and done, you’ll meet your Soul Tribe—people who are just as weird, misunderstood, deep, sombre (probably), wholesome, complex, and loyal such as yourself🫀Your Spirit Guides are really saying: it’s perfectly fine for you not to extend too much compassion for those who aren’t worth your while; hoping you’d calm down some clashing ideas about your personality.

It sounds cruel? No, really; not everybody is worth paying attention to or share affection with. If you do that you’re only going to be sucked dry of Life Force. It’s a similar principal with money spending. Just because you see a lot of items being displayed with attractive, persuasive DISCOUNT signs, doesn’t mean you have to give your attention, or money least of all, to ALL of that. Got it?🤪

‘Even if something is on discount, if you don’t need it, it’s too expensive.’ – Love Marie Escudero’s husband, Govt. Chiz

ESSENCE OF BEING HUMAN🔻🧡

the script you chose – Green Physician (Paracelsus)

path of self-transcendence – Priestess of Intuition

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

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viperzerofsx · 1 month ago

Text

why both Evangelion endings are the same and the Psychology behind them

A common long standing sentiment is that the last two episodes of Neon Genesis Evangelion and the film End of Evangelion are at odds with one another. The idea goes that the ending of the TV show is an ending where Shinji accepts instrumentality and End of Evangelion he rejects it. By going over the psychological framework in the show I would like to show that Shinji definitely rejects instrumentality in both endings.

Though well know for its references to psychology, the first half of Evangelion mostly does not contain them save episode 4 Hedgehog's dilemma (which apparently was made out of production order). This part of the series builds characters and world building. The show has a fascinating ability to flesh itself out scene after scene without truly elaborating on anything.

The first half of the show is quite compelling but it’s not exactly what the show would become. The November 1996 Newtype interview has lots of interesting insight. Namely director Anno claims he was not familiar with psychology before reading a book on a production break (interesting as a previous work of his GunBusters has a character named Freud Jung).

“Ueno: "They say it's about psychoanalysis and personality seminars and stuff, but I've always had a strong interest in psychology in general, "

Anno: "Not at all."

Ueno: "Did you feel like you were heading in that direction while working on Eva?"

Anno: "Yes. It was natural.

I had never read any psychoanalysis books before. I only touched on it a little in my general education classes at university. It was the most interesting of them all."

Ueno: "So, somehow, a keyword or something like an interest stuck in my mind."

Anno: "Yes. I guess I wasn't that interested in humans. But when I started talking about myself, I wanted words to convey my story.

So, the words I thought were the easiest to use were psychological terms commonly used in society. And I started looking through books.

Until then, I never thought I'd be interested in psychology."” Newtype November 1996

He continues

“Anno: "Episode 16 was the first time. I plunged directly into my own inner world. I'd tried expressing words through line drawings before.”

Episode 16 (apparently the first episode of the second half to enter production) is called Splitting of the Breast, this is a term from Psychoanalysis Melanie Klein’s theories. Klein founded a school called object relations theory, whereas classic Freudian theory is of biological drives, object relations is a theory where people develop via interactions with others and a drive for relation with others. Internal objects are our mental representations of others, parts of others, and sometimes things (and external object would be the actual thing). We form internal representations of others based on our repeated interactions with them. Further we develop a mental representation of ourselves in relation to these objects which influence our interpersonal relationships through our our lives.

These mental representations or internal objects are called UnconsciousPhantasy. The Ph to distinguish from fantasy, ordinary everyday daydreaming and imagination, fantasy is an consciousness process while phantasy is unconscious and underlies all mental activities. Our unconscious phantasy is our relationship with the objects formed by experience to develop the emotional and intellectual character of a person, their thoughts, dreams, and defense mechanisms.

For the most part mental representations take these forms

The object as perceived by the individual

Self perception related to the object

Individuals relationship with the object

Mom is a good object because she takes care of me

Because she takes care I must be good, have value

I love my mom

Alternatively

Mom is a bad object she ignores me when I need her

Because she ignores me I must be bad and worthless

I hate my mom

The infants mind however is limited due to the nature of infant cognition. When the child is born it is undifferentiated from the world around it. The first other person is the child’s mother. As the child is totally dependent on the mother for survival, the mothers breasts (or a bottle) provide life giving subsistence to the helpless child. The child internalizes the breast as a “good” internal object. However when the child’s needs are not met, when it’s hungry or scared and no one is around to feed or comfort or otherwise care for it, it internalizes a “bad” breast. Infants “split” objects because they are not yet able to understand ambiguity. The good aspects of an object and bad aspects of an object are seen as separate objects.

A good object is soothing and takes care of a child. In Psychoanalytic terms good objects are associated with the Life force, Libido, Eros the will to live. A child feels omnipotents with the good object (I cry the good object takes care of me).

A bad object is an anxiety producing object, an object that does not meet a vulnerable baby's needs. a child feels persecuted by the bad object it feels a loss of omnipotents by the object not being around when needed making the child feel powerless. Bad objects are associated with Dustrudo, Thanatos, the Death drive, a desire to return to an inorganic state before the stresses of life. A child can’t handle these feelings and projects aggression at the bad object to reassert control.

This state of coping with the world is called the paranoid schizoid position, where good objects are “protected” by being split into bad objects. If a caregiver is adequate the child will move to what’s called the Depressive position. In that stage a child realizes the good and bad objects were the same the whole time. The child feels regret for its treatment of the bad object (which along with the good object is now a whole object) and fears losing its loved ones.

Returning to Evangelion Episode 16

Early in the episode during a routine test Shinji’s sync ratio surpasses Auska’s for the first time. Misato praises Shinji in an effort to improve his morale, angering Auska. Though never competitive Shinji has made it clear he pilots the Evangelion for his fathers praise and he takes the news well. During a train ride Shinji is a bit overly excited and some young children laugh at him causing distress.

Later the angel Leliel attacks, with his new found confidence Shinji charges in against orders and he and Eva unit 01 are absorbed by the Angel. Later Shinji awakes on what seems to be a train and senses a presence

Shinji : Who?

Who?

Shinji ' : IKARI Shinji.

Shinji : It's me.

Shinji ' : I am you.

One has another self inside within oneself.

The Self is always consisted of two selves.

Shinji : Two ?

Shinji ' : The self who's actually watched by others and

the self who wathces itself.

IKARI Shinji in your mind.

IKARI Shinji in KATSURAGI Misato's mind.

IKARI Shinji in Souryuu Asuka's mind.

IKARI Shinji in AYANAMI Rei's mind.

IKARI Shinji in IKARI Gendou's mind.

Any IKARI Shinji is differnt from each other,

but each of them is true IKARI Shinji.

You're afraid of IKARI Shinji in other's mind.

youtube

Leliel takes the form of a young Shinji, from around the time he was abandoned by his father. He tells Shinji that he has an internal Object of himself and others have an Internal Object of him. Shinji is afraid of what the others think of him because he certainly doesn’t think highly of himself.

Shinji : I'm afraid of being hated.

Shinji : You hate to be hurt.

Who's bad ?

Father is bad.

Father who deserted me.

Shinji : I am bad.

(flashback)

Asuka : This way you always think yourself bad!

That is "self-punishing."

(flashback)

Shinji : Heck, it's me who can do nothin'.

Misato :It's you that think you can do nothing?

(flashback)

Rei : Don't you trust your father ?

(flashback)

Shinji : (thought) I think I hate father. But I'm not sure.

(flashback)

Gendou : Well done, Shinji.

Shinji : Father called me by my name.

I was praised by that my father.

Leliel tries to tell Shinji that Gendo is no good but Shinji is reluctant and points the negativity at himself. Shinji originally disliked Gendo but since he praised him Gendo is a “Good Object” who brings Shinji validation and comfort.

Shinji ' : You'll live with chewing the cub of the pleasure.

Shinji : If I trust this word, heck, I can live on from now on.

Shinji ' : ... by deceiving yourself ?

Leliel points out this is no way for anyone other then an infant to live. Holding up with your “good objects” while ignoring the bad is immaturity.

live.

Shinji ' : Unless you continue to think you may not change yourself,

you can't live on.

Shinji : There're too many pains in this world for me to live.

Shinji ' : For example, you cannot swim ?

Shinji : Human aren’t made to float.

Shinji : It's self-decetion.

Shinji : I don't care whatever you refer to it.

Shinji : You have been closing your eyes and turning your ears deaf

against anything you did not want to know.

(flashback from the episode 3)

Kensuke : Sorry, but his younger sister was ...

(flashback from the episode 4)

Misato : This is not your business to care others!

(flashback from the episode 1 )

Gendou : Get Out!

Shinji : No, I don't want to hear that!

Shinji' : Hey, you run away again.

No one can live on with linking things one enjoys like

the rosary.

Particularly, I cannot.

Shinji : I found one thing I enjoy.

Am I wrong if I do the thing enjoyable?

To summarize, Shinji hates himself because of his neglectful upbringing. For the first time in his life he’s gotten some measure of praise and he’s determined to hold on to it even at the expense of ignoring the still harsh realities of his life. This however is not resolved in this episode. Evangelion 01 goes berserk at the last minute saving Shinji and killing Leliel.

The last two episodes take place during the human instrumentality project, the goal of Seele and Shinji’s father Gendo. Gendo describes instrumentality

Gendou: No,

It's not that everything returns to nothingness.

It's nothing but returning everything to the begining.

Nothing but returning things to the mother which

has long since been lost.

All the minds become one mind, obtaining peace forever.

Nothing but that.

If mother is the first other this is before that, before polarizing good and more importantly bad objects that cause pain. Frued called the pre object faze “The Oceanic Feeling” a feeling of oneness with everything, inspired by Hindu mystics of his time.

Shinji: What feeling is this?

That is what I feel like I experienced before.

My body seems like dispearing.

Agreeable.

I feel like spreading, and becoming large,

to here, there and everywhere.

Evangelion references Kabbalah but any nonduelistic mysticism would give the same point. If our bad feelings about ourselves comes from our relationship with others who we need to feel good, instrumentality seeks to merge all souls into one to avoid those negative aspects.

Shinji lost his mother at a young age and his father was neglectful and abandoned him. He has feelings of worthlessness because of this. Piloting an Eva was the first time in his life he was needed and praised, the first time he had a sense of value. He doesn’t however like doing it and is aware one day he will not be needed as an Eva pilot. The Angels will be defeated and then what need will anyone have of him? He runs away from this.

You pilot Eva for the sake of others?

Shinji: Yes!

That is a good thing.

That is a very good thing.

Everyone prases me, then.

Asuka: That's a lie.

Shinji: What?

Asuka: You idiot?

After all, it's for the sake of oneself.

Shinji: Eh?

Asuka: And you excuse yourself as usual.

Shinji: Do I?

Asuka: To think that you are doing your best for the sake of others

is itself an easy way to live.

Shinji: Is that so?

Asuka: In other words, you are lonely, Shinji.

Shinji: Is that so?

Asuka: That's nothing but a dependent or symbiotic relationship.

Shinji: That might be.

Asuka: All you wish is that people depend on you.

Shinji: That might be.

Asuka: All you do is to wait for someone's giving you a happiness.

A false happiness.

Rei: That's the very thing you do.

Asuka: WOW.

—

Later

Shinji: I was praised by people!

But, not happy.

Rei: Which is your true mind?

Shinji: I don't know, or, both of them are my true minds.

Misato: So piloting Eva.

Shinji: I have nothing but Eva.

Rei: Otherwise you cannot keep yourself?

Misato: It's true that Eva Unit One is part of your mind.

Ritsuko: If you depend on Eva too much,

Eva itself will be yourself.

Ryouji: Eva will be all of yourself.

Misato: The true yourself will be nowhere.

Shinji: It's OK. I've had nothing from the begining.

I've been learning cello, but results nothing.

Asuka: I did not try to do from your side.

Shinji: But, now that I can pilot Eva.

Asuka: And, when you lost Eva, you can do nothing, like me.

Why pilotting Eva?

Shinji: Because it's all of me.

Auska’s mother killed herself when she was young. Similar to Shinji Auska pilots the Eva for others not to abandon her, while at the same time wanting to be completely independent and unhurtable. She tries to validate this adultness by making romantic moves toward an adult man Kaji and to an extent Shinji who is also a prodigy Eva pilot (a cornerstone of her identity) but also seemingly meek and passive, giving an extreme love hate relationship between them.

Rei is the soul of Lilith in a cloned body of Yui, she has no past or upbringing and has very little self concept, only kept going by pacing moments of kindness from Gendo and later Shinji. She seeks death, a return to a simpler state but waivers in the attachments she’s made with others. Rei has begun to understand she has developed a self image from her time with others

Rei: I am I.

I've become me in the instrumentality of the links

between me and others.

Rei: I've been formed by the intercouse with others.

Rei: The intercouse with people and the flow of time change

the shape of my mind.

Those are bonds?

Rei: Yes. Those've formed me so far, the thing called Ayanami Rei.

And, those will form me from now on.

Those are bonds?

She no longer just wants to die but wonders if her new humanity is compatible with her true nature.

Misato seemed to have a normal relationship with her mother but had a very strained one with her father who later died saving her. Misato as a result has a much more stable personality save her odd relationships with men. She falls in love with Kaji a man she notes is very similar to her father, she breaks up with him because of this but then years later they meet again and get back together in short time. Before he comes back and again after his death Misato is also flirty and inappropriate with Shinji who is only 14 while she is 29.

Misato: You tried to find a peace on Kaji-kun's face.

Misato: NO!

Misato: You tried to find a peace in Kaji-kun's kindness.

Misato: NO!

Misato: You tried to find your father in Kaji-kun's arms.

Misato: NO!

Misato: YES.

I found the father within Kaji-kun back then.

So fleed from him.

I feared.

He was just like my father.

But, it was because I was happy,

It was a joy.

It was truly a enjoyable joy!

So did I hate.

So did I separate.

Ryouji: No reason to begin a love, but a reason to end the love.

Misato: You are kind enough,

You are kind enough to, I hope, make me dirty.

Ryouji: Don't hurt yourself only because you hate yourself now.

That's only to cheat yourself by momentally punishing yourself.

Don't do that.

Misato: And "you must take care of yourself" say you?

Misato: Guys always do so.

And Guys work, and Guys go into their world,

leaving me behind.

Misato: Just like my father.

Misato: Always trying to escape from the hardships in the reality.

Hardship in the reality?

It's me?

It's me.

Yes. It's me.

It's inevitable.

Shinji: Stop, Misato-san.

Misato: I'm desparate of myself.

I hate myself!

Misato: Impure.

Dirty!

Ritsuko: Badlooking.

Misato: Mean! Dirty!

Is that the adults' intercourse? I really hate that!

Makoto: Congratulations for you promotion. Major Katsuragi.

Misato: The me appreciated is the me who is trying

to play to be appreciated.

It's not the true me.

Misato: The true me is always crying.

We see Kaji brought out the “Good object” of Misato’s father (the one that saved her in the second impact) and this is what attracted her to him. However, being aware of the similarities brought out the “bad object” the father that neglected her during her childhood and made her mother cry.

As instrumentality continues and the internal objects converse (this is the me in your mind and the you in my mind). Shinji is taken through the early parts of the object relations individualization process. He’s taken too a pre object world, before any others.

youtube

Shinji: What? The world with nothing. The world with nobody.

Shinji: The world of freedom.

Shinji: Freedom?

Shinji: The world of freedom that would never be restrained by anybody.

Shinji: Is this Freedom?

Shinji: Yes. The world of freedom.

Rei: As the result, there's nothing.

Shinji: unless I think.

Misato: Yes, unless you think.

Shinji: What's the hell! I don't know what I should do.

Rei: You are uneasy.

Asuka: You don't have your own image.

Shinji: Too vague.

Misato: Everything is vague.

That's freedom.

This is the world of an infant at birth, simple experience. Then they introduce an other

Gendou: I give you an unfreedom.

Asuka: Now that you have top and bottom.

Rei: Now that you lost one degree of freedom.

Misato: Now that you have to stand on the bottom.

Ryouji: But you obtain a confort.

Makoto: You get slightly easier in your mind.

Shigeru: And you walk.

Maya: That is your will.

Shinji: Is this my will?

Ritsuko: The world with the bottom is the world surrounding you.

Touji: Yet, you can move freely.

Kensuke: If you wish, you can change the position of the world.

Hikari: The position of the world does not keep the same position.

Ryouji: That changes through the time flow.

You can also change.

Gendou: The things that forms you are your own mind and

the world surrounding yourself.

Ritsuko: Since this is your own world.

Misato: The real figure that you conceive.

That is the reality.

The ground allows Shinji to see himself in relation to it. He also learns his perspective, his Phantasy can be changed. But Shinji realizes something is wrong.

This is the world with nothing, the space with nothing,

the world with nothing.

The world with nothing but me.

I am getting less understand myself.

I feel as if I am going to disappear.

My existence is fading away.

Why?

Misato: Because there's nobody but you.

Shinji: Nobody but me?

Misato: Because you have no existence but of yourself,

You can't figure out your own shape.

Shinji: My shape?

My image.

Misato: Yes. You are getting to know your own shape through

seeing others' shape.

Asuka: Seeing others' wall, you imagin yourself.

Rei: You cannot see yourself unless there are others.

Shinji: Because there are others, I can exist.

If alone, I am always alone at anywhere.

The world is entirely by my ..

Misato: By cognizing the difference between you and others,

you form the image of yourself.

Rei: The very first other person is your mother.

Asuka: Your mother is a different person from you.

Shinji realizes it’s the social relation with others, how they treat him forms his self image, his expectations for how he’ll be treated. Rei and Auska like Klein point out Mother is the first other person, the one who starts individualization.

Shinji then sees a world where he has a more well adjusted Phantasy and lives a normal life. He realizes his limited view of himself and others can be changed.

——

Shinji: The real world might not always be bad.

Yet, I hate myself.

Makoto: It's your mind that conceives that the reality is bad

and hateful.

—-

He comes to realize it’s possible for him to love himself

Shinji: I hate myself.

But, I might be able to love myself.

I might be allowed to stay here.

Yes. I am nothing but I.

I am I. I wish to be I.

I wish to stay here as do I.

I can stay here as do I!

youtube

What is important though Shinji experience pure instrumentality where others did not exist and he had no existence. He found this unacceptable and decided a better course of action was to find a healthier view of him. Loving himself as an individual or others is an inherent rejection of instrumentality which the self image cannot exist.

——

Now End of Evangelion

The movie begins, Shinji has lost almost everyone and is alone. He goes to Auska in the hospital, he sees her not because he’s worried but because he has no one else. In a comma Auska can’t respond. Shinji lashes out and does something terrible.

Though the TV ending is quite upbeat, Klein's psychology is quite dark and violent. As mentioned above the death drive plays a major role in Klein, infants who don’t have their needs met by their environment and caretakers feel anxiety and project the death drive, lash out in aggression. In Evangelion when an Eva loses control or Ritsko destroys the dummy Rei, or during the third impact the computer monitors will often read high levels of destrudo.

—

Psychograph signal down!

Destrado has begun to manifest!

The pilot's ego won't be able

to take much more of this.

No more.

I can't take it anymore.

—

Rei who speaks of wishing to return to nothing is the living personification of the death drive, while kaworu (music is the highest achievement of Lillian culture) is Libeto or the life force.

Third impact begins with Shinji at his absolute lowest point in the series, having done something horrible to Auska and then watch her get killed. The image of Kaworu however provides him some brief comfort and he enters his internal world. He sees himself as a child with two doll looking girls that look like Rei and Auska, they build a sand castle of Nerv HQ together. Their mother (who is Misato) collects them and Shinji is left alone with no one. Alone, neglected, and his needs not met, Shinji destroys the Castle, lashing out violently, a taste of what’s to come. Shinji then seems flashes and images of Misato, Auska, and Rei. Importantly he sees sides of them unfamiliar, and more importantly not pleasure granting to him

—-

Does Misato really

do things like that?

Yes, this is also me.

The me that exists

when two hearts are joined as one.

The me that

Shinji has never known.

Reality can be painful,

but it's something that

you must learn to accept.

His internal objects of the women reject and accuse him

If I can't have you all to myself,

then I don't want anything from you.

Then, try being nice to me.

We are nice to you.

Liars!

You're just hiding

behind those smiles,

intentionally keeping

things ambiguous!

Because the truth causes

everyone pain...

because the truth is very,

very traumatic.

But ambiguity only

causes me more pain.

That's just an excuse.

But it scares me,

because I don't know if everyone

will stop wanting me again.

I feel awkward and uneasy.

Let me hear your voice!

Don't leave me!

Please care about me!

—

In this sequence Shinji basically admits everything. He wants them for comfort, but he can’t handle ambiguity. The world is only black and white, good pleasure granting objects or total abandonment, no room for real people and their nuance. Shinji goes to an image of Auska on the night they kissed. He tries to be their for her but she doesn’t buy it and calls him out as someone who only wishes to avoid pain. Shinji Chokes Auska and the third impact begins.

—

No one understands me.

You never understood anything.

I thought this was supposed

to be a world without pain,

and without uncertainty.

That's because you thought that

everyone else felt the same as you do.

You betrayed me!

You betrayed my feelings!

You misunderstood

from the very beginning.

You just believed

what you wanted to believe.

Nobody wants me,

so they can all just die.

Then what is your hand for?

Nobody cares whether or not I exist.

Nothing ever changes,

so they can all just die!

Then tell me,

what is your heart for?

It would be better

if I never existed.

I should just die, too.

Then why are you here?

Is it okay for me to be here?

(Silence)

—-

youtube

The ultimate Childish lashing out of the Death Drive, Shinji forces the human race to a Preobject state, where they are all indescribable from one another. Notably in the final moments of third impact Shinji can hear the voices of the girls rejecting him. Shinji immediately rejects the world he created for much the same reason as the show

—

Ayanami.

Where are we?

This place is a sea of LCL.

The primordial soup of life.

A place with no AT Fields,

where individual forms do not exist.

An ambiguous world...

where you cannot tell

where you end and others begin.

A world where

you exist everywhere...

and yet you're nowhere,

all at once.

Is this death?

Not quite. This is a world

where we are all one.

This is the world you wished for.

But this isn't right.

This feels wrong.

If you wish for others to exist,

the walls of their hearts

will separate them again.

They will all feel fear once more.

Okay then.

Thank you.

I only felt pain

when I existed in that reality.

So I thought

it was alright to run away.

But there was nothing good

in the place I escaped to either.

Because I didn't exist there,

and so no one existed.

Is it alright for the AT Field

to cause you and others pain again?

I don't mind.

—

Having a world without others is a world with no self concept, which isn’t what Shinji real wanted either.

Reality exists in a place unknown,

and dreams exist within reality.

And truth lies in your heart.

The contents of a person's heart

shapes their appearance.

And new images will change

their hearts and their forms.

The power of imagination is

the ability to create your own future,

and the power to create

your own flow of time.

Shinji rejects instrumentality and decides even if he doesn’t know how to be happy it’s better than losing himself. He returns to earth, the violent destructiveness of the rest of the film is replaced by a sad melancholy as he says goodbye to Yui his mother and Eva unit one.

youtube

The final scene is a microcosm of the movie. Titled “I need you” the hidden tagline of the film (and likely Gendo’s secret line) Auska returns to the beach Shinji is on. He starts strangling her like before, she puts her hand on his face, Shinji stops and cries. As mentioned before the depressive position is the next state when the Child realizes the good and bad object were the same all along. They feel regret over their treatment of the object. Shinji can finally understand ambiguity about others and ultimately himself and can move on from Black and White thinking.

To summarize, Shinji had a black and white view of himself and other people because of his neglectful upbringing. He had no sense of value for himself and saw others as either sources of validation. In both endings Instrumentality offered an ultimate retreat but Shinji found his loss of self unexceptionable and chose to reject instrumentality and mature.

#neon genesis evangelion #end of evangelion #Evangelion #nge #Youtube

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goddessxeffect · 1 year ago

Text

《 MASTERPOST: Let go and let God 》

Quotes from blog post and answers from other bloggers regarding certain topics based in the teachings of law of consciousness and non duality. This is a summary of everything I think is incredibly useful and has been for me in understanding and applying this lifestyle. Long post ahead.

Basics & Teaching

"I contain all, nothing contains me." - Nisargadatta Maharaj

This subject cannot be learned intellectually, it cannot be learned through the mind [ego] because it's perceived just behind the mind. We can use the mind to gradually undo the limitations enough so that we can get behind the mind by getting it quieter. @4dbarbie-backup

What you can point out as 'this' or 'that' cannot be yourself. Surely, you can not be 'something' else. You are nothing perceivable, or imaginable. Yet, without you there can be neither perception nor imagination. Identity or Ego is merely a pattern of events in time and space, which are also just concepts belonging to the world of ego.@4dbarbie-backup YOU are life. you are life itself. you are all. you are how this all works. "me? this body? this mind?" not the body, mind, ego or thoughts. not even the feeling, beliefs & emotions. i'm talking about Self. Infinity. God. I AM. the awareness. the one that observes all. the life force is you. you animate all of what you see. @lains-reality

Realize you are never not IT. We are actually fully realized all the time. We are fully realized Beings saying that we are not. @4dbarbie-backup There is no becoming "aware". You can't become something you already are! You keep forgetting you are not the body-mind (ego). The body-mind lacks things, the body-mind takes it's surroundings to be real. The body-mind has a very limited viewpoint, it knows what it knows, it only sees what it sees. @iamthat-iam The [body-]mind cannot intimidate the Pure Self, it can only intimidate the idea you have of who you are, your self image. what the mistake is, is that we are taking the idea of who we are as the fact of who we are.@lains-reality

Everything you see and experience is only a mental condition, a dream-like state, easy to dispel by questioning its reality. Both sleep and waking are imagined.@4dbarbie-backup Dreams are just "materializations" of whatever our consciousness is aware of while the body rests. You can touch it, you can interact with it, your senses become active when you're dreaming at times. there's even a phenomenon where people actually thought their dreams were memories or something they legitimately experienced.@piercedblunt "But I am not conscious of myself when sleeping?!" You are aware of something though, being unconscious, which manifests instantly, you are sleeping. Being unconscious is an experience, and you're doing the same thing in the waking state.@4dbarbie-backup

Let's now take a look at this so-called physical world. The apparent solid outer world is just an illusory world. We created it mentally, which is also backed up by human science. But, and that's the catch, it is not external and so the only way to control the outside world is to step out of the world. The ego IS IN the world, and not you. Both the ego and the world are IN YOU.@4dbarbie-backup

When 'you' desire something, you [Consciousness] already have it. How do you already have it? Your true self is everything, it can't desire anything if it's already being anything. Everything that your ego desires already exists within consciousness. Remember that whenever your ego tries to bring up a desire. @iamthat-iam After all, when 'you' desired in your mind, wasn't there a moment where you had it? Where you imagined what it'd be like to have it, what it'd look like or how it'd make you feel? @cheryawa It is not instantly visible to you because you identify with the body and not your pure being. No matter how much you use your mind/imagination, you are who you are regardless of the imagines playing in the head. I could think of a panda a million times, imagine what it's like being a panda a thousand more, that doesn't make me into a panda when I still know myself to be a person.@4dbarbie-backup

Here's a scale of emotions you'll go through in your journey, from bottom to top: apathy, grief, fear, hostility, anger, indifference, acceptance, freedom finally - and then unlimited, independent joy. @4dbarbie-backup It’s not an euphoric feeling either but a real feeling of knowing and with that - indifference and power. It is very calm and serene, as if nothing can disturb you. @adadisciple

I've been looking at the things I want as existing for me to experience them. When I have a desire, I experience it as something that already belongs to me because everything is coming from (within) me. @4dbarbie-backup

NON-DUALISM

"It is the Self that believes there is a person and is conscious of being IT." - Ada B.

Let's break the word down first. “Non” of course means “no” or “not.” And “dual” means “two.” So, non-dual means not two. It says there is only one. This is referring to you, awareness [or consciousness], that there is only you, [...] the only thing that exists. You are the true reality. The only purpose for awareness is to observe, to oversee, to be. Nothing more, nothing less. For example, awareness is human, it can take on a human form, but human is not awareness or defines awareness as a whole. A human is simply a temporary form, but awareness is always free to be aware of any other form @itzalizeyyy

Whatever you imagine is the same as seeing it in the physical world, because both are still being an observed experience by the awareness, and therefore both are the same, as one (imagination). @itzalizeyyy

Helpful metaphors: When you watch a movie, you know it is a movie bc you are outside of it. you are observing it. now what about the characters in the movie? they dont know its a movie bc they are not outside of it. they think they are just regular ppl and they dont see the truth, their true selfs: which is just characters in a movie. @msperfect777 The ego is like your character in the game (of life), it's already a "manifestation" so it can't manifest (just like a book can't write itself or another book). You are aware of a character you go through life with. @consciousnessbaddie

Ego Death is then the disappearance of the egoistic sense of Self. You feel that your are no longer that.You don't disappear; you don't lose anything. There's no reason to fear losing your body, or losing anything. Yet, most of us are fearful that we're going to lose our body and be nothing. That's a serious error. You could be a hundred bodies! When the idea 'I am this body' dies, the witness does not. Death is merely the idea 'I have lost my body'. What you think yourself to be before death continues to be after death. Your sense of Self survives. @4dbarbie-backup

In Non Dualism, the goal is to stop identifying with ego and realize who you are.You see there's no seperation between you and anything so that means everything you once "desired" is already who you are. You never feel the sense of desire again because of this. Any "physical materialization" that happens after will not seem like such a big deal, since it was already who they were to begin with. @iamthat-iam

"I am that, I have always been that. All is well. There are no mistakes. I am in my right place." All you have to do is realize/ know your are not the mind (= identitiy, character, ego). Robert Adams

Self-Inquiry

" To know the source as source and appearance as appearance, and oneself as the source only is self-realization " - Ada B.

The mind is doing a good job actually, because it bites you and kicks you and teases you, because if it doesnt do that, then you'll want to make this limited feel your home.@lains-reality

Every thought is a thing of limitation. Therefore when we quiet the mind, we still these limiting thoughts and this infinite Being that we are becomes self obvious to us. We have convinced ourselves over the millenniums that we are these limited bodies, and we think it takes time to let go of these concepts of limitation. But time is a thing of the ego, it's a thought. @4dbarbie-backup

Learn the art of being aware of you (awareness). [...] You must not become what you already are, as the detached witness of every thought or sensation that comes and goes. [...] The practice of self-inquiry is returning to the fact of who and what you are. @anon-i-mus

It's a kind of surrendering but to me, truthfully and honestly, it felt more like a giving up. Even if it makes you miserable, accept the person you're identified with until you no more fear it or care if you stay the same. @4dbarbie-backup

-> Questions to ask yourself

Detachment

"Transcend your desires and your fears and you will have everything." - Ada B.

As Buddha taught, the root of suffering is attachment. It is not having the emotions and thoughts [...] but resisting or supressing them, and resisting the transitory nature of life and all things. Emotions and thoughts pass. No big deal. It is holding on to them when they are just coming up to leave or pass through that causes suffering. @lains-reality You need not stop thinking. Just cease being interested. It is disinterestedness that liberates. If you say, “There's no problem,” they won't vanish because you're saying, “There's no problem.” You're mentally holding onto the problem and therefore sustaining it. Erase the problem from your mind means to know (be aware) that everything is perfect and then the problem is necessarily non-existent. Basically, let go of it, because the problem is just an illusion. @4dbarbie-backup

You then ask how to stop being "Vanessa" ? - the reason you can't stop is because it's ALL YOU THINK YOU ARE. For example: You're driving a car. "I AM" is the car. You know how to drive it because you're already driving it by being Vanessa. Vanessa is something you add to the "I AM" and not you. You can't stop being Vanessa while being Vanessa! I think that's what everyone keeps asking: Vanessa wants to be Lara, not awareness [first]. @4dbarbie-backup

To talk of re-uniting the person with the self is also not right, because there is no person, only a mental picture given a false reality by conviction. Nothing was divided and there is nothing to unite. You are That. @4dbarbie-backup Nothing can remove your being. Nothing has ever stained your being.@lains-reality You think you have to do this and that because you think you're it, and you should act from it. That is not the case. There's nothing to do except disbelieve. But disbelieving and denial are not the same thing. Denial is when you deny reality to something you're already giving reality to. @4dbarbie-backup

Detachment is not lonely. It's freedom and it's real love. Needing is selfish, it's self-centered. The self has no preference and it's because of that that it can be everything. @4dbarbie-backup

Some of you are on this path for a while but to some extent still are identified with ego and that's OK. Don't get caught up in "your" expectations of what self-realization is supposed to be like. The expectations are making you turn this into a task, when it is supposed to be effortless. Yes, we have talked about feeling peaceful once you've realized yourself, but you're going to need to drop the expectations. It's okay if ego isn't completely grasping it, ego isn't real and it isn't who you are. @iamthat-iam

Fear is an invitation to remember who you truly are. Acknowledging fear doesn't make you any less worthy of or further away from what you truly desire. Similarly, acknowledging your shadows does not dim the Light that you are. The shadows you battle against are simply the seeming absence of you. Becoming entangled in the world of shadows is simply the forgetting of your Self; and Light casts shadows that come and go only to remember itself. The truth is that Light knows no opposition or enemy. Shadows have no separate existence from Light. Your fears are made of you. @lains-reality

The more I detached from ego, the freer I was to imagine what ego wanted without interference from conflicting thoughts/thoughts that "oppose" the desire. @iamthat-iam In fact, abandon all imaginings and know yourself as you are. Self-knowledge is detachment. All craving is due to a sense of insufficiency. @4dbarbie

To anyone who also wonders "how am I still picking this ego?": how many times have you thought about tomorrow? next week? future plans? there's your answer. and the worries about "life" come from them too. "if I don't prepare for/worry about this event that'll happen, I'll have to deal with the consequences of this action" you're telling yourself you will keep waking up as this exact same ego over and over. @glitterdoll888

If you come straight from Law of Assumption or Law of Attraction please keep on reading this last section!

“The simplest answer is usually the right one!.” - Occam’s razor

I think, that what we call 'manifestation' is life itself. i do not mean life in the way that you live A life, like its happening outside of you. i mean it as: it is natural & normal to manifest, its existance itself. it is not something you have, it just is. 'manifestation' is just life itself. it's how all works & is.@lains-reality

The similarity between ND and LOA is in the fact that What you’re aware of, is. LOA’s inner self is still ego. To talk about fulfilling self means fulfilling ego. There is nothing to fulfill if you are the Self and the only one that needs to be fulfilled is an ego, you’re still catering to an ego. @adadisciple

Please, please, understand that you don't have to DO anything! You are always awareness,you will never lack anything. Please stop worrying about the "physical" world and stop trying to materialize things within it! Non Dualism isn't a "new manifestation method" to "get what you want," you are realizing you never lacked anything this whole time. @iamthat-iam

The way the sun rises up in the morning, in the same way Vanessa happens to awareness. It is natural. Do you try to make it happen? It comes by itself (because you choose it as you).@adadisciple For example "I am a body" is a thought that runs automatically ("subconscious), because we do not look at it/know it, we have just accepted we are bodies and that's why we "see" a body. @4dbarbie-backup

You just need to allow something else to happen, not try to make it so!! You cannot help being what you are: Vanessa is the absolute to you now. But if she can be TO YOU, if she happens TO YOU, who is YOU? Your Vanessa "I" runs on autopilot, she is a symbol. She has no free will. To the Self, she is only an idea. She has been conditioned and programmed to think the way she does, it’s the only way she knows how to function. And that’s fine, let her be. Just don’t pick her as you.If she were a random stranger on the street, you would have no concern about her life. If you were Lara now, where would Vanessa be in your thoughts? That is the behavior you should strive for in your thinking, dispassion, disinterest, detachment. Let the thought of being her go. Just let them BE. The way you let Vanessa be. And you let Vanessa be by thinking that’s all you are, that’s what is true. @adadisciple

If you want a "method", then the very best method of all methods is to quiet the mind to see the Being that you are. Pose the question: “Who am I?” and if other thoughts come in, ask, “To whom are these thoughts?” The answer is “To me.” “Well, who am I?” and you're back on the track, seeking to see your Self. @4dbarbie-backup I sit in the feeling while focusing on something else in the present moment, and it usually goes away. @iamthat-iam

Non Dualism does not believe in “affirming” or “persisting” because if awareness is already everything, then it does not need to affirm or persist for its desire if it already has [or IS] its own desire. @itzalizeyyy Like repetition, it keeps you in lack. Do you need to remind yourself that you are a man or a woman? That experience, that form, is already being observed, is already being aware of. You know 'your' gender. @4dbarbie-backup

The truth is, there was no "3D" or "4D" in the first place. there is no imagination VS reality. nothing is real, it has always been illusion VS illusion. If anytime you get thoughts like "why is it not here" "why don't i see it" "why hasn't it manifested yet" you are immediately identifying with your human self. [...] Relying on the human senses will always be our downfall. @iamthat-iam

If you don't have the discipline to at least cut off all this excess of knowledge of information, you'll only be making it tougher on yourself. After you do that, stick to it until you're ready to let go and rely on yourself. Until you start behaving like the teacher and one is needed no more. You create the teacher because you think someone is more knowledgeable than you. That's fine for now, but trust the teacher, listen and apply.@4dbarbie-backup

I have Psychiatrist & doctors appointments, work, still need to eat, want to commit suicide? Psychiatrist appointment. What is that for? To correct your thinking, isn't that right? Reconditioning, changing, or even eliminating patterns of the mind. Now, I'm not telling you to stop going/stop working and or eating. That would be irresponsible of me. Leave your mind alone, that is all. @4dbarbie-backup

DO NOT ACTIVELY INTERFERE in ego's life or try to stop living that life while still being very attached to it, i.e. still identifying with that ego. Let the person continue to live it's life and fulfill it's obligations like studying, but maintain the knowing that it's not who you are. @iamthat-iam

But what about random things that I wasn't even aware of before they came? It's very simple, really. You are aware of being Vanessa and with Vanessa come specific beliefs. Characters have their own beliefs like certain weather can give you a cold, certain environments have insects etc. Thoughts dominate you only because you are interested in them. By resisting evil, you merely strengthen it. If you are "I AM", it means you are not the person experiencing the 3D world/thoughts/circumstances, you never were. The problem is excessive interest, leading to self-identification. Whatever you are engrossed in you take to be real. @4dbarbie-backup

#masterpost #consciousness #law of assumption #non dualism #non duality #non-dualism #non-duality #law of consciousness #i tried addressing a lot of faq #long post #this took me way too long to make #nondualism #goddessawakening

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cleapallea · 4 months ago

Text

Astro observation (Retrograde Planets edition)

♱Master list

How to find if you have retrograde planets?

Go to astro sites like (___) and (___)

2. There, you can see the simply sign like this: (R) or (Rx)

B. Why do you need to know what retrograde planets you have?

For self-awareness, dear. Life involves a long life journey and learning. Having retrograde planets makes you powerful, depending on whether you use them in a very good way. It is not exactly as bad, especially if we are going to talk about the relationship between each planet and transit. Being aware of your "weakness" comes with challenges and opportunities for (y)our growth. With that, You will able to see a multifaceted interpretation and perspective especially in life . This is also key to balance your life and correct what is needed to be correct, or at least make it better.

Retrograde Mars Perceived themselves as incompetent, and not strong enough to handle things even that is a small task/s.

Retrograde Venus Think about themselves as being undesirable and unattractive. They also often feel they don't deserve any kind of relationship, being loved, and to be desired by someone.

Retrograde Mercury Often blame themselves for having inconsistent speech movements whether verbal or not, or have a different vocabulary.

Retrograde Pluto Afraid to admit their wrong(they always strive for being right), runs away from their responsibility, and to show they are vulnerable as any human being. Losing identity and freedom is their trauma.

Retrograde Jupiter Seeing themselves us unlucky person just because of negative events due to their own actions. They often think they don't need to work on something.

Retrograde Neptune serves as reality check for you. AGAIN, IT IS NOT REALLY BAD AS LIKE WHAT MAJORITY STATED HERE. Having Neptune depends on what signs or planets associated! because you often found yourself hidden, or making some illusions related to that house or zodiac signs. For example neptune in 1st house, you tend to fake your identity just to be accepted by society. More on, it tells you how to break that stigma.

Retrograde Uranus Afraid to show what else they can do and considered themselves as bad at skilling. And they only brings chaos.

Retrograde Saturn In astrology, this is the lord of karma. These people are the lovers of pleasure. They use s°x or ppl to get things and sometimes their body. People who have no control and limitations, wants to why and how; right here as it said doesn't believe in any goods and God. "Their way is only way."

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batboyblog · 5 months ago

Note

Interesting thing to consider regarding our situation from Magdi Jacobs. She’s been fairly levelheaded so far about all this. The Pandemic really did change us all and how we perceive things.

The constant stressful vigilance we all needed during the pandemic is still in effect from that era, and that’s why there’s such a disconnect between what we see and feel as true:

https://x.com/magi_jay/status/1812531377184653581?s=46&t=9ilK5pqP73XDblTtTbb4Qg

I don't disagree with her, and I know for a fact she also agrees with what I have to say here:

Covid is part of it, maybe it is its own thing, maybe it super charged something that had been happening in slow-mo before

but I think algorithmic social media is breaking all our brains and Covid locked SO many of us inside with it for a year and a half or so where our only "human" contact was through social media and that was NOT helpful

There's lots of studies about social media and anxiety and depression, we know algorithms intentionally put stories/posts that upset you into your feed, we know that social media causes negative polarization.

speaking just of my own experience on twitter over the last two weeks it really challenges your sense of reality, twitter very quickly forms a group think about a current event and it becomes overwhelming, also it destroys any sense of time and prospective, so nothing is allowed to just be bad it has to be THE WORST THING EVER! and from the debate and now Trump's fist pump after getting shot at everything is NOW! the election is not 4 months away with all the events that will take over the news, people are voting just this second and only based on this news story rn! AAHHHH!!! !

by its short form nature twitter makes it feel as if people are having a conversation with you, but your ability to reply and question their statements is limited and I think that makes for extreme anxiety if the group think challenges your understanding of events/reality. So Joe Biden had a bad debate night, sounded bad, looked bad, he was a sick, jet lagged, overworked, old man and looked and sounded like all of that. Oh well, but the group think quickly shifted to "this is the worst thing ever, he clearly has dementia!" and you were bombarded by that over and over, in more and more shrill and condescending tones. And it became very stress inducing because people were seeing something you didn't see and insisting "don't believe your eyes and ears! believe my hot takes!" and you felt like you were losing your mind.

This is one current event but this happens on social media all the time, twitter is bad, TikTok is worse.

I also think for "younger" (under 40?) people raised on reality TV, and more so instagram, Facebook, now TikTok picture and video based social media there's a, life as reality TV show quality, an unspoken performance and need to make our lives seem perfect for an unseen (and not real) audience, and also to be seen as having the right views, but living in quick sand where liking or using anything could become a problem at any point and having to keep up endlessly. I also think this is intensely anxiety producing and also just debilitating, I don't think you can DO anything good in the world with that mindset

final thought: I've said for awhile I think why you see so many people declaring the economy is bad, regularly saying its historically, Great Depression levels bad, when it is in fact really good, as near to full employment as we've ever had lots of great economic indicators is left over Covid trauma.

We all went through a scary, sad, upsetting time in our lives. But because we ALL did if nothing happened to you particularly, you didn't get hospitalized, don't have long Covid, no one you're close with died and you couldn't be there for them, it might feel like "nothing" happened. So people are reaching for a "logical" reason for that edgy, sad, nervous, upset, unhappy feeling they can't get rid of. Normally that comes from economic anxiety, fear of not having enough money, or losing a job etc. So many people are reporting that they think the national economy is terrible while saying they think they themselves are doing well, that their local or state economy (that they see an interact with) is doing good, while the nation is doing bad, somehow. People are spending like they're doing well as well, never had it so good, never felt so bad.

I suspect its because we're all still dealing with Covid feelings, and thanks to social media, the death of common spaces, political radicalization, we never really came together and drew a line under Covid, it just kinda sputtered out and we slowly went back to our lives like nothing happened.

#Covid #trauma #political #society #ask #answer

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sol-consort · 2 months ago

Note

Any hc about Mordins nephew? Some people do, curious what you think about him

You know I actually never thought about him much, huh... So let's look at all the available information we have so far!

The scene transcript itself:

[Start scene]

M: Yes. personal matters on mind, actually. Got call from nephew.

M: Promising geneticist himself. Just turned 16. Got tenure at university. Following in my footsteps.

M: had to lie about what I was doing. Think he was suspicious. Doesn't matter. still good to hear his voice.

S: Your nephew got tenure at 16? Is he a genius or a scientific prodigy?

M: No. Wait, don't want to insult him. Yes, but not in manner you meant.

M: Remember, salarian lives short. Mature rapidly by your standards. Don't live much past 40.

S: Does anyone in your family know about what you really did for the government?

M: No. Know I'm lying, but won't pry. Salarians curious as a people, but also have social cues. Keep two types of secrets from family.

M: First type personal or guilt-based, invites suspicion, exploration. Puzzle to be solved. Reward for curiosity, intelligence. Drama! M: Other secrets more serious. Dangerous if discovered. Signals discourage curiosity for protection of family.

S: Why wouldn't everyone give clues that their secrets were too dangerous to be uncovered? M: Not conscious. Social. Reflexive body language. Can't fake it. Example: yawning perceived as contagious among humans. M: Subject observes yawn, sensory input deactivates left periamygdalar region, subject yawns in response. Social empathy. Also works with dogs. M: Salarian faking signals to discourage curiosity similar to human faking a yawn. Can try, but effectiveness limited.

S: does anyone in your family know about what you're calling him because you're worried we won't make it back

M: No. Aware survival unlikely, but actually contacted him for family connection.

M: Hard to imagine galaxy. Too many people. Faceless Statistics. Easy to depersonalize. Goo when doing unpleasant work.

M: For this fight, want personal connection. Can't anthropomorphize galaxy. But can think of favourite nephew fighting for him.

S: I'm glad you got to talk to family before we finished this. And I'm glad we talked, too, Mordin.

M: Honoured to be part of this, Shepard. Helped preserve galaxy before with genophage. Dirty work, ethically ambiguous. Problematic.

M: Collectors mission simpler, cleaner. Will be proud to see it in Mordin Solus biography Vid. Unless we all die. Proud posthumously in that case.

M: Regardless... thank you.

[End Scene]

And the video here for frame of reference

youtube

Then there is the wiki brief description of the interaction

Known members of Mordin's family include a nephew who earned a university tenure at 16, a promising geneticist following his uncle's footsteps. Mordin fondly remembers this nephew and maintains contact with him during Shepard's mission, finding the familial connection a better motivation for saving the galaxy as opposed to the bigger picture and depersonalized statistics. Mordin is not above concealing his work from his family, however.

And those are all the available buildings blocks to make our Nephew Solus base out of it. Let's refer to him as Neph for the sake of simplifying things.

The well-established facts about Neph so far are:

He is a salarian male

He is 16 (48 in human years)

He is a geneticist

He has a close relationship with Mordin

He is his favourite nephew

And on the more subjective side, we have these conclusions:

He is naturally curious and suspicious

He looks up to Mordin and respects him immensely

Mordin might have been a mentor figure

He shares one or more similar physical traits with Mordin

He is a civilian leading a domestic life, possibly on a salarian owned planet (being a prof at uni and all)

He often calls Mordin to update him on his life and milestones

He is Mordin's only family connection that reaches out outside of obligations and despite Mordin's detached nature

He probably doesn't know Commander Shepard since Mordin couldn't mention his work with you

Now I want you to focus on this scene from the video, specifically the cinematography of it.

In most of Mordin's usual dialogue scenes, the camera faces him upfront. Yet, in here, it was a deliberate choice to show the side of his face.

And what stands out most? The scar. This particular position puts heavy emphasis on the X shaped scar under his eye, the bullet holes above his eye, and even the long scar on his forehead.

Even the dialogue emphasises the word "fight" it appears twice in the same sentence. This fight, against the collectors, he's fighting for him.

If you take in the context clues, the faded scars, the rushly healed wounds, then Mordin might have been fighting for the sake of his nephew for much longer than this. That Neph has been his motivation in so many fights, even during the lowest times of his life.

Maybe he often thinks of his nephew's happy and excited face looking up at him—back when he was still a small hatchling with stars in his eyes as he listens diligently to Mordin's retelling of his stories. As he proclaims in a moment of sincerity how much he wants to be like him when he grows up, how Uncle Mordin is so cool and amazing.

Maybe that memory and so many like it, are what keeps Mordin's sanity intact. What keeps him on the ethical morally just path. What makes him listen to you when it comes to sparing his student at the end of his personal mission, he saw his nephew in him.

Even when life is shit and pain is debilitating, I still smile when I see my niece. I still kneel on the floor next to her as she shows me her toys and tries including me in what she's playing. I still act happy and excited, and unlike the bitter mask of happiness society makes you wear just to appear polite even while you're miserable, this pretend happiness with her doesn't feel fake at all.

It feels the most beautiful of white lies. Sometimes, I start to believe that I'm truly happy, forget all my burdens.

It's fullfilling, to lie to them in these situations and smile. You never have to force it, either; it comes so naturally. I could be on the brink of a breakdown, yet seeing her and getting to play the role of the fun happy grown-up becomes the purpose of my life for those few hours before I have to leave.

What an honour it is to be part of her life.

I'd imagine Mordin to feel something similar about his nephew. It seems impossible to imagine anything else.

One last thing to consider is that Neph might not have the last name Solus. It's not explained how Salarian culture functions when it comes to titles and if surnames are even a thing or hereditary to begin with.

Like not all human names work the same either. I know western names go [First name -> Last name]

But middle Eastern names use [First name -> Father's name -> Grandfather's name -> Great Grandfather's name -> surname]

And eastern names often use [Last name -> first name]

Salarians are matriarchal, women making up only 10% of the population and yet holding the most important positions as the heads of the family and in society aristocracy.

It makes sense for their full names to include the female headfigure of the clan they originate from. To not mix genetics + to keep track of the family's prestige and standings amongst the rest.

The surname Solus most likely originated from a great grandmother. That or it's Mordin's mother's name. Or maybe the current matriarch's name?

Either way, if it was a surname, the mother is the most likely candidate to pass down her surname to the children when it comes to Salarian culture.

And we don't know if it's Mordin's sister or brother which this nephew came from. So Neph being a Solus isn't set in stone.

#☆character study #☆Neph #☆Mordin #mordin solus #Mordin's nephew #mass effect

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lilietsblog · 3 months ago

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just want to contribute a little something to the anti discourse

so for a while now, arguments in favor of making whatever you want have felt kinda incomplete to me. I mean arguing from the principle of "it doesn't actually harm people while harassment definitely does" is fully valid and very true but that's not all there is to it

what does art do? what is good about art? what IS art?

art is a form of thinking

When you create or perceive art, when you engage with art in any way whatsoever, you are inevitably thinking about what is depicted in it. Your brain is making connections. You are gaining new associations. From conscious philosophizing to subconscious info gathering, you get Thoughts about it.

So this is the question then, people who want to ban every icky topic that makes you upset: do you want people to stop thinking about it? Do you want people to not think about sexual assault? Racism? Abusive relationships? Most of the time people encounter the concept of these things, said out loud and defined as such, in art. In real life you can have an abusive relationship for your entire life and have no clue that's what it is. People who do not experience Nasty Shit are almost exclusively taught how to sympathize with people who do by art. (Their friends and family who experience it are frequently too busy trying to survive said nasty shit to do an educational dance for them)

This is why conservative/oppressive political forces dislike art. It's for the same reason they push back on science that doesn't support their narrative: they don't want people getting ideas. They don't want their children to think anything more than what they tell them! That's why they demand everything "icky" be censored and combed out in the name of thinking about children: you wouldn't want your child to have an opinion on a scary, difficult and complicated topic that you didn't teach them, would you?

This is why the nasty icky art that upsets you so much not only deserves to exist, but needs to. "Don't even think about it" is not a workable harm prevention strategy. Imagine an architect about to build a bridge: if you tell them "don't even THINK about the bridge collapsing", would them actually NOT THINKING about it make the bridge more or less likely to collapse? We are all architects of our own behavior. And we all need to spend some time pondering over notebooks full of calculations of what to do so the bridge stands.

You might ask then, why fiction? Why porn? Why not serious philosophical tomes and psychology textbooks? Why disrespect the serious and important topics so? Why should people play with them?

Well, first, because play is essential to mental wellbeing. We all need to unwind and relax, and for most people philosophical tomes and psychology textbooks are just not something they can fit into their limited rest & relaxation time, not without sacrificing more than they gain in terms of ability to control their mood and behavior. People need to play, and if there's a way to get shit done while playing, well, that's just a productivity hack right there.

Second, more importantly, humans learn best through play. Bat the concept around, try it on like a hat, draw a smiley face on it, then erase it and draw a frowny one instead. Let it permeate your imagination, spread itself around through it, infiltrate your thought patterns. THEN you will remember it. Then you have the material basis to have serious thinky thoughts about it. Basis for comparison. Material for contemplation. Memories of engagement.

And yes, this includes being sexual with it! Sexual thoughts are not actually so sacred, special and separate that they would be importantly different from other sorts of voluntary play. If that's how people want to engage with the material, if that's the toy room their brain conjures most easily, well there's straight up just, nothing wrong with that, is the thing. From the point of view of education and serious thinky thoughts it's just a tumbler you put the thing in to be vibrated and tossed around.

Now, a crucial word here is voluntary. A classroom environment is a whole different beast, that warrants a whole separate discussion. Hopefully nobody out there is proposing to make it mandatory for middle schoolers to read abusive incest pornfic in class out loud; I sure as hell haven't heard this idea from "proshippers". In fact, privacy and comprehensive safeguards to make sure people ONLY engage with what they want are pretty key values to the abusive incest pornfic community.

Do people write abusive incest pornfic in order to make other people think deeply about it and engage with the concept? I mean, not always, and I would venture to guess it's not usually the primary motivation, though I'd guess it's A motivation for more people than you'd imagine offhand. But here's the thing: the fact the primary motivation is different is exactly what creates so much engagement and propagates the thinky thoughts. Few people like to think upsetting thoughts for their own sake on their own free time. Making it play is how you get it out to a wide audience (and what I mean by it, let's just say, the topic as a whole); and yes, abusive incest pornfics don't usually have that wide an audience. What audience they do have benefits from them, though. (Shoutout to Lolita, which did and does have a pretty damn wide audience, and is an abusive incest pornfic if you don't squint too closely at definitions and authorial intent)

And if someone's reference pool is so shallow they don't pick up on the "bad" part where things are bad, well... honestly, the fic community is their best chance to mend this gap in education. Because people who are into writing about bad things often love to not spare any detail in rendering how bad they are. People have figured out they are in a cult from researching how to write about a cult for a fic before.

The purpose of art is play, and the effect of art is thinking.

Thank you for your time.

#the anti discourse #i want to tag this 'art' but that tag contains actual drawn images on my blog #oops #writing #drawing #hopefully this helps with organization lol

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vxn3lla · 2 months ago

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The only “time” is now - revision and instant manifestation

Past present future, hours, dates, deadlines, etc is all fake

well

it is real but only because humans created and accepted it as the guideline

but if you really think about it every moment youre in is referred to as now. People hundreds of years ago didn’t refer to their time as the past like we do same with referring to the future as the future

I get it’s hard to just ignore the concept of time but here’s another thing

people remember things differently

And the reason for that is our brains reconstruct memories each time you think of them based off our current emotions perspectives thoughts and more

(Sound familiar? It’s just showing up the way you assume)

You can revise anything because you don’t even remember the exact details anyways

but what about the circumstances? They don’t matter

Time is probably one of the biggest things that get in the way of people manifesting their desires

“I had a deadline but it isn’t here yet”

“If I affirm for 30 days starting I will manifest”

“I was trying to enter the void state for hours”

Why are you limiting yourself with something that is not even real

If time and clocks and dates weren’t invented every moment would just be NOW effortlessly

Everything exists now as humans we tend to over complicate things and it’s hard to believe that for most

but it’s just a different level of existence

like microscopic particles that we can’t see but still they exist just different from us

Time is the opposite its on a different level and we perceive it but it doesn’t really exist

That is why manifesting is instantaneous

Every single thing exists now you just have to persist in having what you want

#loassblog #manifestation #loassumption #manifesting #affirmations #youtube #void state #law of assumption #neville goddard #it girl

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realitycrafted · 1 month ago

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manifesting 101 🎀: understanding the law of assumption

✮☾❀✣• - the only guide you'll ever need - •✣❀☾✮

welcome back, reality crafters!

before diving too deep into the journey, i want to give, those who aren’t quite familiar with it, a detailed guide to manifestation and the law of assumption. manifestation is the art of bringing your desires to life through focused thoughts, beliefs, and feelings. the law of assumption, a core principle in manifesting, teaches us that what we assume to be true about ourselves and the world eventually becomes our reality. by learning to consciously shape these assumptions, we can start creating the life we’ve always dreamed of. so let’s break down exactly how this works and how you can start using it today!

🎀 what is the law of assumption? 🎀

the law of assumption is a concept that states: whatever you assume to be true about yourself and the world, consciously or unconsciously, will shape your reality. it’s based on the idea that our beliefs and assumptions create our experiences—our thoughts and feelings influence the world around us. in other words, your outer world reflects your inner state.

pioneered by neville goddard, this law emphasizes that by changing your assumptions about life, yourself, and your desires, you can create any reality you want.

🎀 manifesting: what does it mean? 🎀

to manifest means to enter a specific state of feeling and remain in it. manifestation is instant. as soon as you decide you want something, it is done, it is yours. when crafting our physical reality (3d), we bring something from thought, from our imagination (4d) into the 3d. this happens when your subconscious mind is impressed with an assumption, it doesn't know if your assumption is real or imagined. as a result, the 3d must conform to whatever you believe and assume. every human has the power to manifest, and in fact, we are always manifesting. every belief, every repeated thought, every assumption we hold creates experiences that mirror those inner beliefs. manifesting isn’t something new or magical—it’s a natural process we’re constantly engaged in, whether we’re aware of it or not.

manifesting with intention simply means consciously choosing to direct your assumptions and beliefs toward what you want, rather than letting old, limiting beliefs create your reality.

see your imagination, the 4d reality, as the only, true reality in which everything is possible. and in turn, the 3d must conform!

my personal experience: all my life, i'd been telling myself: "i have a horrible life, i hate it, i am a horrible, ugly person, i hate myself", so obviously that is exactly what i had gotten because i truly believed it. when i started taking my manifestation journey seriously and started consciously practicing the law of assumption, telling myself that i love myself, i love my life, i am worthy and only deserve good things, i quickly noticed how my life was beginning to positively change ... and it still is!

🎀 how to manifest intentionally with the law of assumption 🎀

while we are always manifesting, we can use the law of assumption to consciously shape our lives. here’s how:

☙❏ identify your desires - decide what you want

be clear on your desire. this could be anything from love, success, health, peace, etc. the more specific you are, the easier it will be to hold a clear assumption about it.

i wanted a better, more peaceful relationship with my mom, and stop feeling like she hated me.

☙❏ create your assumptions - assume it’s already yours

our minds and subconscious take our assumptions as instructions, influencing how we perceive and react to the 3d world. so think about the beliefs you would hold if your desires were already fulfilled. you could use affirmations that align with these new assumptions to help you believe them more.

"i am loved", "i am worthy and enough", "i have a beautiful, peaceful relationship with my mom", ...

☙❏ embody the feeling - live in the end

mentally and emotionally embody the state of already having what you desire, the feeling of your desire being fulfilled. for example, if you want a new job, feel the excitement of already having it. if it’s a loving relationship, imagine how fulfilled and happy you would feel in that relationship. if you want confidence, walk, talk, act like you already possess it. act, think, and feel as if what you want is a done deal. when doubts arise, gently bring yourself back to the feeling of your wish fulfilled.

☙❏ persist in your assumption

this is one of the most important parts—persistence. even if you don’t see results right away, continue to assume your desire is already yours. consistency is key. the more you focus on the end result, the more real it becomes. persist in these new assumptions, especially when doubts arise. this doesn’t mean ignoring the 3d reality but choosing to focus on your desired outcome as if it’s true.

🎀 tips to strengthen your manifesting practice 🎀

there are a couple of techniques to stay consistent and really get to and remain in the state of your desire already fulfilled as much as possible.

☙❏ feeling is the secret

this is the key. manifesting works best when we feel as if our desires are already fulfilled. it’s not enough to just think about what we want; it’s about living in that feeling.

☙❏ daily affirmations

repeat affirmations that align with your desires throughout the day. for example, say, “i am in a loving, fulfilling relationship,” or “i am financially abundant.” repeat them until they feel natural.

☙❏ visualization

set aside a few minutes daily to visualize your desire in vivid detail. imagine scenes where you are living your desired life and feel the emotions as if it’s happening now. it is more effective to imagine yourself from first-person perspective.

☙❏ mental diet

paying attention and being mindful of your thoughts can help you stay aligned with your desired reality. replace negative thoughts or limiting beliefs with empowering thoughts that affirm your assumptions. another thing that could be important here is working on your self-concept (i will make a post about that).

☙❏ journaling

you could keep a manifestation journal to track progress, note successes, and reaffirm intentions.

☙❏ revision

if something happens that’s not in line with your desire, you can use “revision.” imagine the event unfolding in a way that aligns with what you want and change the memory in your mind.

☙❏ sats

sats, or state akin to sleep, is a relaxed, drowsy state between wakefulness and sleep where the conscious mind quiets down, making it easier for the subconscious to accept new beliefs or assumptions. in this drowsy state, focus on a scene that implies your desire has already been fulfilled. visualize in detail or imagine the feelings you would have if your desire were already true.

🎀 common misconceptions about manifesting 🎀

☙❏ manifesting only works for certain people

reality: manifesting is a universal process—everyone has the ability to manifest, whether they realize it or not. your ability to manifest is not dependent on background, personality, or external circumstances; it’s about inner belief and assumption. since we're all manifesting already, anyone can learn to do it intentionally. it can work for everyone.

i grew up pretty skeptical and fact-based, i questioned and doubted things a lot. i thought very logically and rationally. so in the beginning, trying to believe that i was something that i don't actually see, was kinda difficult. but i persisted and am a full believer now. everything has become much easier. if i could do it, you can definitely do it too!

☙❏ manifesting means instantly getting what you want

reality: manifesting is a process of aligning your beliefs and assumptions with your desires. while some people may experience quick results, most often it requires time, patience, and persistence. the manifestation process is less about speed and more about sustaining the belief that your desire is already yours.

☙❏ you have to be positive all the time

reality: manifesting doesn't require you to suppress natural emotions or thoughts. it's normal to have doubts or fears. the key is to recognize them, not dwell on them, let them pass, and realign with your desired state rather than forcing positivity. as long as you stay consistent with your assumptions and persist in your desired state, occasional doubts won’t derail your manifestations.

☙❏ using techniques is manifesting

reality: techniques, like affirming, scripting, living in the end, or visualization are helpful tools to get you to embody the feeling of your wish fulfilled. they aren't what manifest. if you don't believe in the chosen technique or use it but don't remain in the desired state afterwards, you probably won't be successful.

☙❏ you have to know the exact “how” for your desire to manifest

reality: trying to control the “how” can create resistance. the law of assumption teaches that focusing on the end result and assuming it is already true will allow the details to unfold naturally. trusting the process is crucial.

☙❏ manifesting is only for “big” things

reality: you’re always manifesting, both big and small experiences, whether you realize it or not. everything from a great parking spot to deep, fulfilling relationships is within reach. no desire is too small, and no desire is too big.

☙❏ manifesting means ignoring reality

reality: manifesting isn’t about denying your current situation. it’s about recognizing that your current reality is temporary and that your true power lies in assuming a new, desired reality is already true.

☙❏ you have to be spiritual to manifest

reality: manifesting is a natural process that everyone can practice, regardless of spiritual beliefs. it’s about understanding how your thoughts, assumptions, and beliefs create your experiences. no special spiritual practices are required.

☙❏ manifesting requires intense effort and willpower

reality: manifesting is more about ease than effort. it’s about gently shifting your beliefs and feelings to align with your desires, rather than trying to force outcomes. the right mindset and consistency matter more than intensity.

☙❏ manifesting is just wishful thinking

reality: manifesting isn’t passive daydreaming. it involves consciously choosing and embodying assumptions, thoughts, and feelings that align with your desires. conscious manifesting requires inner work and an intentional shift in mindset.

☙❏ if you’re not seeing results, you’re doing it wrong

reality: delays or lack of immediate results don’t mean you’re failing at manifesting. sometimes, it takes time for your assumptions to align fully with your reality. sometimes, movements in the 3d are happening "behind the scenes". for example, your specific person (sp) and you are in no contact. you affirm that your sp is constantly thinking about you and reaching out. meanwhile, your sp is actually constantly thinking about you and can't get you out of their head. they just hadn't texted you in the 3d yet. so there is movement that you just can't see yet. persistence in your desired state is key, even when you don’t yet see physical evidence.

☙❏ you can’t (consciously) manifest if you’ve had past traumas or negative experiences

reality: your past doesn’t define your manifesting abilities. while trauma or negative experiences can shape beliefs, you have the power to change those assumptions and beliefs. manifesting is about focusing on the present and future, rather than being limited by the past.

before i started (consciously) manifesting, i had several past traumas and negative experiences. i didn't believe that i could ever change the negative thoughts and assumptions about myself that came through those traumas. but once i was determined, i realized and really believed that my past doesn't define me. things have been getting better and better. i sometimes still have negative thoughts, but they are getting less and don't have that big of an impact on me like they used to.

🎀 manifesting is a lifelong journey 🎀

you don’t need to be perfect at conscious manifesting right away; small steps make a difference. celebrate even small changes you notice, as this will help build confidence. embrace your power. the sooner we take responsibility for our beliefs and assumptions, the sooner we can create the lives we truly want.

remember, you are always manifesting. the only question is: are you manifesting what you want, or letting old beliefs shape your reality? it’s time to take the reins, trust in your inner power, and craft a life that feels aligned, abundant, and fulfilling.

manifesting through the law of assumption is an empowering, natural part of life. With intention, patience, and persistence, you can align yourself with the reality you desire. here’s to crafting the life you’ve always wanted! 🌸

i'll see you, reality crafters, in my next post,

riki 💗

“assume the feeling of your wish fulfilled and observe the route that your attention follows.” - neville goddard

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