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mittensmorgul · 3 years ago

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Hi! I know that a lot of people ship Sam and Rowena. However, my viewing experience did not warrant the ship. I am now trying to actively parse out why people see them coming together. Do you have any episode recommendations that are foundational to the relation between Sam and Rowena? In case, you feel that this ask may get nasty or start discourse, you need not post it! Thank you :')

Hi there! I've been frowning at this for a couple days, wondering how best to reply. First off, back in December 2019 (when I was EXTREMELY distressed with Rowena's apparent fate as Queen of Hell, and absolutely convinced that she had earned redemption by the narrative-- not even specifically via some relationship with Sam, but for HERSELF, that she didn't deserve to be trapped forever in Hell after literally sacrificing herself to save the world... I mean... Sam escaped that exact same fate, yes? He got out of the Cage. He wasn't doomed to rot in Hell for the rest of eternity for literally doing the exact same thing to stop the apocalypse...), I wrote an essay called The Witch and the Winchesters that was more about Rowena herself than about Samwitch as a ship. It's how I think of her as a character, first and foremost. And I don't know if it's possible to understand how I see their relationship (or the potential for their relationship) without understanding how I see HER. For herself.

As to the rest, specific episode recommendations that set up her relationship with Sam, those go back to s10, when she was working with Sam (rather against her will, especially once Sam chained her to the table) to save Dean from the Mark. I think the best example of their relationship being something more from that era was 10.19 The Werther Project. Because even though Rowena is there for a lot of that episode, we also learn she was not real. She was the hallucination Sam suffered under the influence of the Werther box. She was, in other words, what the spell latched on to in Sam with the intent to drive him toward his own death. For Dean, that spell-activated bit of himself was represented by Benny. Parallels! She had already taken up residence in Sam's psyche by this point, whether for good or ill. The show has transitioned her to Benny-for-Dean status, at least thematically.

Obviously 10.23 should be on this list. This was the parallel to all the Love At First Stab nonsense re: destiel. She literally... stabbed... her first love... For Sam. Not like she had a choice, but this was the point where they truly became enemies instead of just mutually interested slightly antagonistic acquaintances. And yet... gradually over the course of the next four seasons (because they will have four more seasons to evolve their relationship), she experiences a character growth arc that roughly parallels Cas's entire arc of self-discovery, battling his past demons, choosing his own family, and finding contentment with himself. And I absolutely HATE that Rowena remained unredeemed, because that parallel with Cas? Yeah... there's a lot of reasons he got perma-shoved into the Empty...

11.03 has her reluctantly helping them save Cas (from the spell she'd cast on him in the first place, but she did save him), and the banter between her and Sam is just super antagonistic. Love that for them. It's very early Dean/Cas. Or maybe s6 Dean/Cas.

11.09 and 11.10 begin to show us a deeper look at Rowena, and how horrifyingly misguided her efforts were. After that, we don't see her for most of a season, until we find out about her resurrection spell. But when she comes back, she is Changed™ in some pretty fundamental ways, scarred by her experiences. Every episode with her beyond this point-- and I'd say especially those written by Yockey and Glynn-- demonstrate this change. This desire to redeem herself, and the kindness Sam shows her during this process.

12.11 Regarding Dean not only gives us a better look at her history in a more pointed way, it shows just how much he has changed and WANTS to change. For herself, but also because Sam just keeps putting his trust in her. She wants to be worthy of it, even if she doesn't feel she ever could be.

13.12 Various and Sundry Villains seemed to be going hard on building a common footing between her and Sam. Even as Dean protested, Sam continued sympathizing with her and doing whatever he could to support her. Even if it would eventually put them in danger.

13.19 Funeralia was the moment I personally began to see their relationship had fundamentally shifted. Sure, the final scene of the episode involved Sam, Rowena, and Dean... but the episode literally interwove Sam and Rowena's fates, which would become the eventual method of her self-sacrifice in 15.03 in the exact way Dean and Cas's fates were interwoven and came to fruition in 15.18.

And how can we leave off 14.14 Ouroboros? I mean, the entire episode has her paired with Sam while Dean's paired with Cas. And then she literally trades herself to Michael to save what she considers her family now? Very Winchester of her. Go figure.

15.02 and 15.03 are... heck to me in retrospect, it looks like bucklemming deliberately trying to stamp out the relationship between her and Sam in 15.02, and Bobo coming in for the kill with 15.03, in direct parallel to "breaking up" Dean and Cas. Can you see why I was absolutely DETERMINED that Rowena be saved from her fate? Because if she wasn't, neither would Dean and Cas be saved? Yeah... look how that turned out... >.>

She manages to have a lot of conversations with Sam about stuff even Sam says he's never talked about with anyone else-- including Dean. They get each other in profound ways. In ways that nobody else on the planet can really even understand.

I get how a lot of people chose to see her more as a "mentor figure" for Sam and his witchcraft abilities. She did leave him her worldly possessions when she died, after all, effectively handing over her legacy to Sam. But ignoring all the rest of it, the personal, emotional, and cosmic connection between them just... starts to look like forcefully denying the potential for a deeper relationship between them. Because 15.06 Golden Time looks a LOT different if you remove your Saileen ship goggles and watch it with the understanding that Sam was still mourning Rowena's loss even three episodes later, and KNOWING that Chuck was manipulating Eileen's return, that Chuck wrote that partial spell for Sam to complete to resurrect Eileen. Because just like Chuck was grumpy about Cas being helpful to Dean, he was grumpy about Rowena being helpful to Sam. I have no idea how it was even possible for people to watch that episode as a purely unproblematic return of a favorite character.

Please know that I adore Eileen, and that the narrative had convinced me by 15.18 that she and Sam would've been happy together, that he really loved her, and that they had been working on building a future together. And even independently of any ship, I was still angry about Rowena's fate. I mean, in my finale rewrite, Revenge of the Text, she was the first person Jack visits after deciding how best to put the universe to rights. It had zero to do with shipping her with Sam anymore, and I'll probably always mourn the loss of their romantic potential, but I do give her the chance at true redemption, friendship, and family that the narrative denied her.

So really, at the end of the day, I care more about her than I do the lost potential for a ship. But the ship would've been both adorable and cosmic...

#rowena #samwitch #saileen #but yeah... saileen is cute but this is profound...#lol that was an old old tag that popped up... i have no idea what it even linked back to but there you go #obviously as we watched the rest of canon unfold i saw saileen develop into a cute and happy potential relationship #but i will never really forgive the show for just abandoning rowena in hell and walking away...#i would've been content to know she'd been saved after everything even if she didn't end up with sam #but the way her rule over hell was portrayed for the rest of the series as tenuous and possibly not even legitimate... well #that just made it even worse. and because of four years of paralleling her personal arc to cas's...#well you can see why her failed salvation was one of the main reasons i can't accept that cas was ever saved from the empty #spn 15.20 #gotta stick that tag on there now i guess >.>

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you-cant-spell-subtext-without · 4 years ago

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Continuing my dissertation on why Supernatural is about Destiel even when Cas is not in the episode, and here is my analysis of 11x18 - The Chitters.

I initially had this episode on a “never watching again” because the monster grossed me out so much, but then I realized that the writers were giving us a literal Dean/Cas as husbands mirror story by doing this

and hiding it in an episode with the most grotesque MOTW imaginable (seriously, name a worse monster than underground creatures who impregnate humans with their eggs via orgy and leave them in a damn cave; oh and cause them to shake, chitter, and have glowy green eyes. BRB, puking).

A little trickster moment in the beginning starting this episode with two brothers, and the eldest - Matt - dying in a *shocker* supernatural way, and the youngest - Jesse - then going on to dedicate his life to avenging his brother’s death. A lot of reviewers consider this intro to mean we are supposed to be looking for Sam/Dean parallels in the following narrative bEcAusE tHAt is WhAT thE boYS wOuLD dO, but I POSIT TO YOU IT IS NOT ONLY A 10000000 percent DESTIEL STORY, BUT ALSO THAT this is established in the very first scene - the conversation between Jesse and Matt in the flashback:

JESSE

It finally happened.

MATT

What? You didn’t get detention this week?

JESSE

Me and Jackie, we kissed.

MATT:

Okay, can I stop hearing about him every two minutes now? “You think he likes me?”, “Jackie looked at me. I-I think he looked at me.”

JESSE

He definitely likes me.

***I mean Matt’s comment - does this not immediately remind you of Sam “I am in constant Destiel super hell” Winchester?

For reference, here is Sam’s “I am in super hell please stop now” face:

**Also he LOOKED AT HIM?! What is 80% of Destiel if not subtextual pining and LOOKING. I don’t make the rules. Jesse is Dean. And Matt is dead. Matt’s death ENDS the “brother portion” of this story insofar as the parallel is concerned. (**please note I am not advocating for Sam to die. the parallel is just NOT about the brother storyline in this episode - there are plenty of other “mirrors” for the brother storyline, but this is NOT one of them).

We cut to the real Dean continuing in FULL RESEARCH MODE ACTIVATED because Amara has Cas at this point and he is panicking.

Was the red and black flannel an intentional wardrobe choice to mirror Jesse’s jacket? We will never know. (Yes. Everything is intentional. This is Supernatural. We hate it here. Also Cesar is in a KHAKI vest because KHAKI means THINGS in Supernatural for REASONS).

Also I love FULL RESEARCH MODE ACTIVATED desperately trying to get Cas back Dean. It’s real “I just started studying for my final the night before at 10 p.m.” energy. He’s refusing to stop to even look at Sam here:

Anyway, a few gross scenes of green eyed people, orgies, and a hilarious conversation about weed (or was it oregano?-

Jensen Ackles you slay me) later -

Jesse and Cesar save Dean’s bacon and the four of them end up in a bar chatting over beers. Here is where it is INCREDIBLY apparent that Jesse is a mirror for Dean (also I’d watch a bottle episode of these four hanging out doing regular every day stuff a la How I Met Your Mother or Friends).

JESSE

One of them took my brother 27 years ago.

[Sam and Dean look surprised. Sam turns to Dean, and Dean is speechless.

DEAN

[looks to Jesse] I’m sorry to hear that.

JESSE

I’ve been waiting years to come back and have this shot at them. So, I hope you understand, I’m gonna ask you two to take a step back from this one.

DEAN

[nods] Well, catch us up. Where have you guys been?

JESSE

In the woods, where the action is, looking for their burrow and saving your ass.

[Sam is slightly taken aback, but he gives a look of approval. Cesar scoffs.]

JESSE

What?

CESAR

Well, one of the reasons we’ve been holed up in the trees is because Jesse hates the town and everyone in it.

JESSE

Because they’re ignorant and useless. [turns to Cesar] They didn’t believe me 27 years ago, they’re not gonna start now.

CESAR

[sternly] It’s boneheaded not to be following leads in town.

JESSE

Hey, nobody stopping you from talking to the whole box of crackers.

[Cesar sighs and looks away.]

***You could replace “Jesse” with “Dean” and the lines wouldn’t need to change an iota to stay in the character. Cesar’s scoffing, the stern response, calling Jesse boneheaded, sighing, looking away exasperatedly - 100% Cas energy. I really don’t make the rules. Cesar isn’t anything like Sam, and he isn’t meant to be. This is not a brother story. THIS IS A STORY ABOUT TRUE LOVE DAMMIT.

Dean makes that red herring comment about them bickering just like brothers , then:

Which by the way is EXACTLY how Dean and Cas bicker. Hence why Sam is always in super hell.

I can’t find a better quality image of this montage, but I really wanted to bring attention to the EXPRESSION on Dean’s face:

***Sure, Dean. You’re curious about what it’s like to live with a hunter. Okay.

Also, whoever made this, you get it.

They start arguing on the next step - questioning a former sheriff, or going back to the woods to search for the creepy crawlies’ hidey hole.

JESSE

[sternly] We need to find the burrow.

CESAR

[patiently] Jess, we’ve been beating around the woods for two days.

JESSE

[stubbornly] That’s where they are. You saw the tracks.

CESAR

I can keep searching on my own. We’re losing.

****sternly-patiently-stubbornly <- it’s like a never-ending Destiel refrain. Cesar’s willingness to continue on what is purely Jesse’s quest for revenge so Jesse can move on is also so very Cas-adjacent. I LOVE A SUBTEXTUAL PARALLEL.

Anyway, then they split into twos, pairing Sam with Jesse and Cesar with Dean for the next few scenes. Lots of reviewers tracked this as a brother-brother (i.e. Sam is paired with the version of himself and Dean is paired with the version of himself) parallel, but THIS scene with Sam, Jesse, and the old sheriff SCREAMS otherwise:

JESSE

[angrily pushed Cochran down the chair] You son of a bitch.

[Sam moves forward to get Jesse back.]

JESSE

You knew the whole time! You knew where they were when everybody was suffering.

COCHRAN

[pushes Jesse off him] I was suffering too!

SAM

[pulls Jesse away from Cochran and tries to calm him down] Jesse. Hey, hey. Hold on. Hold on.

***EXCUSE ME, did he just say DEAN’S CATCHPHRASE. And how many times has Sam done this exact thing to Dean when he is in a rage?!? I DO NOT MAKE THE RULES.

ALSO something about THE JUXTAPOSITION of Cesar and Jesse in the following scene. This is very Dean with Cas quietly waiting for him to me.

A lot of creepy monster montage scenes and dead bodies later, the day is saved. Cue adorable husband exchange, and the news that Jesse and Cesar are going to retire.

SAM

So, uh, what’s freedom look like?

JESSE

Nice little spread in New Mexico. We’ve been paying on it for years. Set foot on it about … twice?

CESAR

Gonna raise horses. And if that goes bust, Jesse used to be an EMT.

JESSE

Oh, so now I’m supporting your ass?

[Cesar chuckles and looks at Jesse lovingly, before both men turns to the Winchesters. Sam follows the laugh.]

CESAR

It’s time to start living.

Also this SHOULDER touch. And it’s the left shoulder. (there is a great Casifer post out there about how Dean was thrown off specifically because Casifer touched his RIGHT shoulder, and Cas always touches his LEFT).

All I really need now is a FACE CUP, tbh.

You want more parallels? Recall that CESAR (aka Cas-adjacent) is the one who saves Dean’s bacon in the beginning.

Then he helps him get up off the ground. You know, as in he RAISES him from -

(JENSEN YOUR ACTING CHOICES WITH THAT LOOK ON YOUR FACE ILYSM)

Dean, realizing that he is watching an AU version of himself and his boyfriend/future husband:

Yes, hi, we are the same character.

Anyway, I will always and forever love this episode for showing us the ending Dean and Cas deserved (WHAT WAS THE REASONNNN) - settling down on a small ranch together in New Mexico. At least these two got their happily ever after.

ALSO, MANIFESTING

Maybe then Sam can finally leave super hell.

BONUS:

Sam: Couldn’t do it, huh?

Dean: [shakes head] No, didn’t feel right.

Sam: Yeah. I know what you mean. Two hunters who make it to the finish line?

Dean: Yeah, you leave that alone.

Saving this to my box of INCONSISTENCY TRASH DUMP FOR 15x20.

P.S. I am starting to develop a theory that the episodes we all like LEAST, and therefore tend to skip [or that have off putting plotlines/ don’t go with the general myth arc/creepy monsters/bizarre or even boring scenarios] are the ones with potentially the most subtext, and therefore the best underlying story line (so likely no Cas in the episode, random stuff like Red Meat, the creepy chitters monster that makes you want to cringe).

So at the end of the day, the subtext was always the real story anyway.

(OMG I JUST REMEMBERED THAT THE GIRL WEREWOLF IN BLOODLINES WEARS A FUCKING KHAKI TRENCH COAT THE ENTIRE TIME. AM I GOING TO HAVE TO REWATCH THE ALWAYS SKIPPABLE BLOODLINES NOW? And that definitely means I am DOOMED to rewatch the worst episode that ever was when I get to season 15. Dammit. What have I done?!?!??!?!)

#destiel #spn analysis #spn fandom #destiel parallels #spn mirrors #destiel mirrors #deancas #supernatural #spn recap #spn seson 11 #spn 11x19

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ugh-againwiththenames · 3 years ago

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So Many Fanfics So Little Time

This is just my list, I have seen so many (but if you want to use it it’s all yours too!). I’m not a writer. But I am a hell of a reader. Voracious one might argue. I just wanted to track my progress through the weeds of the absolutely never ending supply of Destiel and Cockles fanfic.

Read on if you want to see what I’ve read, and what I’ve thought. I am but one person with opinions - some of them may be unpopular - some of them you might agree with, but if you find something you haven’t read here, I encourage you to do so.

Honestly, this is just so I can track what I have read already, and when my friends ask, I can reference something easily. I have found some different fics on all kinds of ‘best of’ lists all over the interwebs. And I love recs - so rec away friends.

As someone who reads a solid 40 novels a year typically, I don’t come by the “I read a lot” innocently. I do actually read a LOT. When not reading fanfic (a new obsession, all things being fair), I usually read a lot of Fantasy/high fantasy, romance/erotica, and or YA (yeah, that was a bit of a ride no?). So from this one might digress that I like fluffy, cute stories, complicated and supernatural/paranormal type stories, and I sure do not shy away from violence or smut (or maybe violence with smut? *smirk*).

I have read all of these in the last 2-3 months (I will continue to add as I go). I had never read a fanfic until 2-3 months ago. A lot of these wonderful people are on here, and I mean you no offence by not directly tagging you - I’m still learning how to actually properly use this site. Links to AO3 are included (and I love you all).

These aren’t necessarily in any real order - I did read T&S first, followed by 91W, and 4LW...after that it’s just a shit show of Long or Short, Destiel or Cockles - smorgasbord. Some of these are the most popular Fics out there, and others I’ve never seen recc’d anywhere (just sort of accidentally happened upon them). So let’s get to it, shall we?

Twist and Shout - ok look. I understand the stigma associated with this one, but it was the FIRST one I read. It was the ball that shot me down the hill, and I haven’t stopped since. So. I loved it. I CRIED like a baby. SOBBED. It was not the quality of the writing but the way the story was developed and delivered. I have Never Cried Like This Reading a Story IN MY LIFE. It’s a rite of passage. Read It and have an opinion - it doesn’t need to be mine.

Author(s): gabriel, standbyme https://archiveofourown.org/works/537876/chapters/955188

Ninety-One Whiskey - aka 91W, it is mentioned so much, and is SO worth the read. I continued my dive into the war fics (not typically my bag really and here I was reading 2 in a row). There are a couple of followup stories as well to this series (and yes, I’ve read them all). Although I’ll say that the original is my favourite. I often got lost in a bit of the War/Tactical descriptions, but would recommend it to anyone anyway. Ugh...the “stolen moments”...they were at the same time tragic and the most amazing things ever. You feel me? no? go read it.

Author: komodobits https://archiveofourown.org/works/2362190/chapters/5214500

Four Letter Word for Intercourse - aka 4LW. OMG just, OMG. I loved this story. I loved it so much. I think I read it in a day. Devoured it. It’s so HOT. Just read it. If you haven’t you’re missing out. LEMME AT IT. I loved “knowing the secret”, and had some major anxiety about that realization dawning (I had to take a breath, and be like, no, no, this is gonna be a mess, but it’s gonna be SO GOOD - I was not disappointed). There’s more than one work here too - read them all. PLEASE.

Author: bendingsignpost https://archiveofourown.org/works/16086839/chapters/37568591

Memories Bring Back Memories (Bring Back You) - This was the first Sobs one I read, but it sent me on a spree. this is the Memory Loss one. I have one piece of advice here - read everything by Sobsicles. You can thank me later...just go to her page, and fucking sort to supernatural (or not, read it all!) I’d list them but I’d fucking seriously be here all day. Also, her tags make me laugh so hard.

Author: sobsicles https://archiveofourown.org/works/24022945/chapters/57796885

Orpheus - I love this one too, Tattooed!Cas, my LOVE. paired with Mechanic!Dean, my HEART, #help. Read this one in one evening as well. (I was on a roll). It’s a one night stand that turns into more (much like my last relationship)....hmm...maybe this is why I was pulled in - although to be fair that is the last similarity to my shitty love life! I do not remember how I stumbled onto this one (tattooed Cas may have been the draw...tbh). Read the warnings though, there is some triggering stuff in this one - but if you can handle it, it’s definitely worth the read.

Author: sysrae https://archiveofourown.org/works/2364347/chapters/5220227

Have Love, Will Travel - Can you say no to Stripper!Dean? Cause I sure as hell cannot. Typical sort of character development here with Dean having trust issues, and Cas being painfully awkward...(but in like a super cute way?). Would Recommend.

Author: squeemonster https://archiveofourown.org/works/565455/chapters/1011747

The Inexhaustible Silence of Houses - Change of pace here...It’s got a nice twist. I didn’t actually clue into how it was going to end until very near the end (maybe I was being oblivious), when the realization came over me and I was...man. I was DONE IN. I hope that doesn’t spoil (I need some kind of way of remembering them). Voiceless!Cas Hunter!Dean

Author: Askance (doomcountry) https://archiveofourown.org/works/560268/chapters/1000755

Adagio - This is super short, and super cute. Honestly, I would read the whole thing just for the last line. It’ll take you less than an hour if I remember correctly. Go, I’ll wait. I squeeed. did you?

Author: noangelsinthegarrison https://archiveofourown.org/works/1397248/chapters/2928145

Any Little Heartache - super easy read (not in a bad way, but in a ‘you’ll fly through it’ way). It’s mid-length, not graphic, but really fun hospital AU. HeartSurgeon!Dean / Nurse!Cas - enemies to lovers anyone? Fuck you to Fuck me? yeah. YUM.

Author: followthattardis https://archiveofourown.org/works/5143376/chapters/11838311

Ad Astra - This is another short(ish) one, just one chapter. And by that I mean that this is written like a very long poem. Cas as a star who has visited Dean many times over the years of his life, that culminates in 4x01 barn scene. It’s ‘awe’ sad. ‘puppy dog eyes’ sad. The writing format took me a bit to understand what was happening - it’s my lack of poetry knowledge, not the writing.

Author: nhixxie https://archiveofourown.org/works/1013491

Ad Astra Per Aspera - This is a cute story. ESL writer, no judgement. I found this while looking for the one above, and thought the premise looked cute - and it was. Misunderstanding leading to Dean realizing he’s actually Bi. Miscommunication leading to realization.

Author: Riverchester https://archiveofourown.org/works/12354336/chapters/28101816

Psalm 40:2 - Time travel post-canon Cas and Pre-series Dean. If you’re wondering how that works, strap in for this ride, it’s well worth it.

Author: unicornpoe https://archiveofourown.org/works/30786425/chapters/75992444

Addicted to You - Warlock!Dean/Incubus!Cas - accidental ‘mating’ (I actually really don’t like that word, but there’s sort of no avoiding it in this situation). Cute story. When you drunk dial a succubus and get an incubus instead...Whatever will we do?

Author: Ltleflrt https://archiveofourown.org/works/4387346/chapters/9959288

A Glimpse Beyond - End Fix-it. Not yet complete, 10 chapters so far...I want MORE! Reliving memories Dean/Cas & Sam/Eileen.

Author: NorthernSparrow https://archiveofourown.org/works/27731689/chapters/67875925

Cas-ti-el - Please I want more...It’s like the story just started. Please write more of this story!! 1 chapter, it’s a trope prompt challenge, but I want it to be a full on story of its own. Imprinted names of their soul mates, Dean doesn’t understand his (because it’s in a different language)...I’m frustrated by wanting this story to keep going.

Author: Valinde (Valyria) https://archiveofourown.org/works/1941591

Our Bodies, Posessed by Light - another short one. Not going to lie, this one took a little getting used to, and I can’t say that I enjoyed it too much for the sole purpose that the premise gave me the willies. Cas has to vessel jump - ends up in Sam...I got through it, it had a good ending, but yeah, sorry. This just wasn’t for me.

Author: obstinatrix https://archiveofourown.org/works/260289

Peanut Butter Pumpkin Wedding Cake - Waiter!Dean / Writer!Cas - This is so effing cute, just misunderstanding after misunderstanding bumbling around like the couple of dorks that they are. It’s only one chapter. 100% would recommend.

Author: Sparseparsley https://archiveofourown.org/works/223962

Destiel, Actually - This is another super cute story, 5 chapters. Gabriel playing a singular role in putting Dean and Cas in awkward positions to push them together. I fucking DIED at “oh, I am the sub” - needs context, but I guarantee you that you’ll laugh out loud...

Author: Bexism https://archiveofourown.org/works/399934/chapters/658398

The Smell Before the Rain - This was my first A/B/O - a big apology to all those who are into mpreg and whatnot, this was my lesson that I am not. this was not for me. Also - I’m a firm Cas (Alpha/Dom) believer, and i’m good with switch Cas, but it’s hard for me to take him being the full Omega here, when paired with the rest I just couldn’t do it. I finished it, but, not my thing. I know now.

Author: jscribbles https://archiveofourown.org/works/22355230/chapters/53406127

Crazy Diamonds - This is another short one, only 3 chapters - it’s a body swap for Dean, 4x02 him and 2018 him swap places (assumption that 2018 him is “with” Cas). It’s a super cute little story.

Author: pantheon_of_discord https://archiveofourown.org/works/16151642/chapters/37738631

The Breath of All Things - Wheelchair!Dean / Volunteer!Cas. This is a lovely story, typical Dean self-hatred etc. Triggering for those with suicide warnings. It had me in tears at the end. There’s a really spectacular quote near the end that I found so romantic I screen grabbed it.

Author: KismetJeska https://archiveofourown.org/works/994750/chapters/1967519

Kind of a Forever Deal - SummerCamp!AU This is just a really cute and fluffy summer camp AU. Which is so different from 91W (That’s right, check the author)! I was a little disappointed with the ending, but otherwise really enjoyed this all the way through and was loving all the discovery and young characterizations of all the characters.

Author: komodobits https://archiveofourown.org/works/999291/chapters/1978478

Everytown, USA - Best way I can break this one down? Wanderer!Dean (listless and without a place in the world, he ends up in a small town...), Twin!Cas (that leads to some fun things). There are a number of points where you’re gonna yell at Dean for doing stupid shit (that are very much in character for him to do), you think, well, yes, obviously you’re going to do that you silly fucking boy [affectionate]; but whyyy? (but we know).

Author: aileenrose https://archiveofourown.org/works/1797559/chapters/3854836

Chalk and Chainmail - HighSchool!AU, Cas is an artist, Dean LARP’s - it’s cute and angsty.

Author: lemonsorbae https://archiveofourown.org/works/804704/chapters/1517551

A Little Patience - Ok. you want smut? This is your story. You want Kink? This is your story. I actually did not finish this. It got a little carried away in my opinion. It was VERY panty kink oriented (which, while essentially canon isn’t really my kink) so, if you want that Panty Kink on full display? Go forth and enjoy! it is thirty something chapters, I got to the mid-twenties I Think.

Author: riseofthefallenone https://archiveofourown.org/works/1750058/chapters/3739232

Control - I REALLY ENJOYED THIS. Which is saying a lot for someone who has already admitted that a Subby Cas isn’t really my HC - so to so thoroughly enjoy a Sub!Cas story? (maybe it’s the tattooes...*wink*). It’s an AU where Cas is the head of a company - Dean is a callboy I guess, for lack of a better term. Just read it.

Author: dothraki_shieldmaiden https://archiveofourown.org/works/31156601/chapters/76993217

More (I copy pasted the next lot from my google doc, I’ll flush them out later - no i wont...)

Teach Me (short) - movie night in the bunker, things get a little carried away Author: Chiyume https://archiveofourown.org/works/5961327

You Light the Spark (in my bonfire heart) (short) - when cas doesn't realize that dean is unaware of his feelings, super short, super cute Author: noangelsinthegarrison https://archiveofourown.org/works/1193910

Communication Breakdown (short/cockles) - dean ends up in Jensen's head while he films the confession scene, no sexual content Author: jujubiest https://archiveofourown.org/works/29669601/chapters/72951339

Look What You Made Me Do (short/cockles) - - Vegas Con 2020 / jensen comes out with a song - cute short - no sexual content Author: green_blue_heller https://archiveofourown.org/works/30251592 Full House (short/cockles) - reimagined version of the rented house story - putting it in order (so to speak). funny / cute / fluffy not explicit Author: n_nami https://archiveofourown.org/works/30855827

Cyber Sex (short/cockles) - anastiel https://archiveofourown.org/works/31467086 - shameless post GISH Fest zoom call porn - Short (very short)

It's Complicated (cockles) - gail_morgan https://archiveofourown.org/works/31434938/chapters/77747519 The GISHtake (short/cockles) - MellyCrazyCoconut https://archiveofourown.org/works/31508099 - cute short post GISH zoom - oops "babe, really?"

(10.02.2021 updated) Since last update: New reads - Fuck i’m gonna be here all day - there’s not gonna be as much gonna be NO detail in these breakdowns...sorry! This has now just become a “what i’ve read list” as opposed to a Rec list...

Love, All Alike (Pt. 1 Love, All Alike) - Phantoms_and_Foxgloves https://archiveofourown.org/works/4555599/chapters/10370646 - Though The Stars Walk Backward (pt 2 Love, All alike) - Phantoms_and_Foxgloves

And this, your living kiss - opal_bullets https://archiveofourown.org/works/18083927/chapters/42744872

Come On, Let's Strike a Match (Domination and Submission: a love story pt 1) - anyrei & queerwerewolf *** https://archiveofourown.org/works/25722478/chapters/62458810 - Playing With Fire (D&S: a love story pt 2) - We Kiss and the Flames Get Higher (D&S: a love story pt 3) - Sparking That Old Flame (D&S: a love story pt 4)

Cinderwings - bendingsignpost Cinderella!AU** https://archiveofourown.org/works/12847041/chapters/29336421

Linden - fleeceframe Swan!AU** https://archiveofourown.org/works/33126730/chapters/82236118

No Netflix, No Chill (short) - dorian_they https://archiveofourown.org/works/28764966

Can't Drink You Away (short) - dorian_they https://archiveofourown.org/works/28785792

Jensen Totally (Does Not!) Snore (short RPF) - Dorian_they https://archiveofourown.org/works/30315717

Dean Ships It (short) - dorian_they https://archiveofourown.org/works/30349434

All about control - wingless https://archiveofourown.org/works/9151930/chapters/20791243

Aesthetics in Autoerotica (pt 1 Aesthetics in Autoerotica) - relucant https://archiveofourown.org/works/3885544 - The Ties that Bind (pt 2 Aesthetics in Autoerotica) - relucant

Let's take a drive - sobsicles https://archiveofourown.org/works/32581027/chapters/80819581

Enchanted ink - castielslostwings TattooArtist!Dean TattooArtist!Castiel AU *** https://archiveofourown.org/works/23043622/chapters/55109530

The bones beneath our skin - darknessbound https://archiveofourown.org/works/24633754/chapters/59515804

The Plot (RPF) - Castiel_Left_His_Mark_On_Me https://archiveofourown.org/works/2795588/chapters/6274970

The Gentle Force with which you Take Me (RPF) - Phoenix_Ascended https://archiveofourown.org/works/32110120/chapters/79549183

According to all known laws of Life (Pt. 1 Cursed Metaphors) - sobsicles https://archiveofourown.org/works/29207901 - and he's back (with a mind of his own) (pt. 2 Cursed Metaphors) - sobsicles

Six hundred sundays (and many more) - sobsicles https://archiveofourown.org/works/31158776

Aching in the Absence of you - sobsicles https://archiveofourown.org/works/31832977/chapters/78811378

gorging myself on you, still can’t get full (insatiable) (Short) - sobsicles https://archiveofourown.org/works/32203291

memories bring back memories (bring back you) - sobsicles https://archiveofourown.org/works/24022945/chapters/57796885

Dream Come True (short) - bendingsignpost https://archiveofourown.org/works/28071159

tall grass - aeli_kindara https://archiveofourown.org/works/13127040/chapters/30030726

asunder (Short) - rageprufrock https://archiveofourown.org/works/62115

Apheresis - bendingsignpost BloodDonor!AU ** https://archiveofourown.org/works/32674783/chapters/81056680

we always were but never knew it - frightfullyrude https://archiveofourown.org/works/32698324/chapters/81119503

In this Louisiana Bar (Short) - fleeceframe https://archiveofourown.org/works/31764487

The Hitchhiker's Guide to Alternate Universes - n_nami https://archiveofourown.org/works/32687929/chapters/81092785

my heart a compass - lagaudiere https://archiveofourown.org/works/28629951

Unsound Inverses - sp8ce (not complete) https://archiveofourown.org/works/29836881/chapters/73413300

The Jensen Mistake (RPFish) - fellshish https://archiveofourown.org/works/31950169

tell me about the dream (Pt. 1 Kids are coming home) - playedwright https://archiveofourown.org/works/27984813/chapters/68544450

It's handy to know (FIMMF Themed ;)) - RosaMarloes https://archiveofourown.org/works/31761322

So Says The Sword - komodobits AngelTrueform!AU** https://archiveofourown.org/works/12597892/chapters/28695592

Communication Breakdown (RPFish)- darkshrimpemotions (jujubiest) https://archiveofourown.org/works/29669601/chapters/72951339

Carry You Home - Casloveshisfreckles https://archiveofourown.org/works/26982637/chapters/65862916

In the Shadow of your Wings - Enochian Things (Salr323) https://archiveofourown.org/works/7531294/chapters/17121655

When Harry Met Sally (RPF) (Pt. 1 When Harry Met Sally ‘verse) - mnwood https://archiveofourown.org/works/7622347/chapters/17351845 - Eight Dildos (RPF) (Pt. 2 When Harry Met Sally ‘verse) - mnwood - Attention, Please (RPF) (Pt. 3 When Harry Met Sally ‘verse) - mnwood - Boat Trip (RPF) (Pt. 4 When Harry Met Sally ‘verse) - mnwood

A Winter's Tale - NorthernSparrow https://archiveofourown.org/works/2654327/chapters/5930561

A Close Shave - NorthernSparrow https://archiveofourown.org/works/3090167

r/supernatural - renrub (short) https://archiveofourown.org/works/27626783

sam reads destiel fics - rebshome (short - funny!) https://archiveofourown.org/works/33721624

Angel Cookies - noxsoulmate Chirstmas!AU ** https://archiveofourown.org/works/11729640/chapters/26427765

Under The Midnight Sun - NorthernSparrow Arctic!AU ** https://archiveofourown.org/works/16690645/chapters/39143677

Bron-Yr-Aur - mrbluesky (Short) https://archiveofourown.org/works/28225335

The Dean Winchester Beat Sheet - saltyfeathers https://archiveofourown.org/works/19258594/chapters/45800209

The Meaning On My Skin - saltnhalo https://archiveofourown.org/works/18005378/chapters/42538133

Red Right Hand (Pt. 1 Murder Ballads) - Duckyboos https://archiveofourown.org/works/4306110/chapters/9760008 - Are you the One that I've been waiting for? (pt. 2 Murder Ballads) - Duckyboos

Riptides - sharkfish https://archiveofourown.org/works/13230426/chapters/30263556

Damn Fine Ride - Cimorene105 (pt 1 - rodeo) Cowboy!AU** (I’m a horse girl, sue me...) https://archiveofourown.org/works/14342340 - My Face Just Does This, Sometimes - Cimorene105 (pt. 2 rodeo) - The Kinkiest Thing I've Ever Done- Cimorene105 (pt 3 rodeo) - All Signs Point to Love - Cimorene105 (pt. 4 rodeo) - Monster Love - Cimorene105 (pt. 5 rodeo) - My Man, The Siren - Cimorene105 (pt. 6 rodeo) - A Pain in My Ass - Cimorene105 (pt. 7 rodeo)

Astrolabe (terra incognita pt 1) - reluctantabandon, Winter_of_our_Discontent https://archiveofourown.org/works/3348812/chapters/7326794 - Drollery (terra incognita pt 2) - reluctantabandon Winter_of_our_Discontent - Rubrication (terra incognita pt 3) - reluctantabandon Winter_of_our_Discontent

Go Down With This Ship - PorcupineGirl https://archiveofourown.org/works/8023642/chapters/18370474

Fire and Ice - Castielslostwings (Firefighter/Paramedic AU!) ** https://archiveofourown.org/works/23286295/chapters/55768486

The Structural Similarities of Hunters and Onions - Faster_Than_the_Speed_of_Sound (Short) https://archiveofourown.org/works/33383101

Castiel Novak's Office, This is Dean - emmbrancsxx0 https://archiveofourown.org/works/22411336/chapters/53545840

Out of the Deep (out of the deep pt. 1) - riseofthefallenone - MERMAID AU! ** https://archiveofourown.org/works/548878/chapters/977676

Dean (and Cas') Top 13 Zepp Traxx - pantheon_of_discord https://archiveofourown.org/works/10909440/chapters/24256989

I'll Be Good - LittleAngelCassie https://archiveofourown.org/works/4118334/chapters/9282234

Kenosis - CastielsCarma (Short - part of Destiel ABC collection) https://archiveofourown.org/works/30411720

#fics #fic recs #fanfiction #ao3 #cockles #destiel #dean and cas #jensen and misha #one track mind #supernatural #please send me recs #read more fics #this is my new obsession

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ialwayscomewhenyoucall · 3 years ago

Text

Every Drop of Grace

Endverse destiel

Rating: on the border between M and E (I’m over cautious, probably most people would say M)

About 3k

“Do you ever wish we could have something...normal?” Dean’s voice falls into the quiet night, a stone falling into a once-still pond.

Cas can’t hold back his snort. “Dean. You grew up hunting monsters. I’m a fallen angel. There was never going to be anything ‘normal’ about either of us.” Dean huffs in response, burying his face deeper into the hollow of Cas’s neck. “It also doesn’t help that our relationship–if that’s what you want to call it–began after the end of the world.”

“The world didn’t end,” Dean protests weakly. “It’s still here. It’s just…”

“Right,” Cas says, giving in to the urge to roll his eyes–it helps that Dean is behind him and can’t actually see his eyes. “The world is still here. We even have this tiny bit that’s almost safe.”

Dean doesn’t argue, though Cas can feel how much he wants to. Cas idly wonders if Dean ever argued a monster to death, but he doesn’t voice the thought. He doesn’t want Dean to leave. He smirks into the darkness, though. He can absolutely imagine a cocky, 13 year old version of Dean facing down a werewolf. “You’re doing it wrong!” shouts the smaller, higher-voiced Dean. “You need to lull me into complacency, then strike. No wonder you’ve been caught by a kid.

Cas chuckles softly at the made up–but completely plausible–memory. At Dean’s questioning hum, Cas skips his imaginings and brings the conversation back to where they started. “Considering the chaos all around us, I’d say what we have is amazing, Dean.” Having you at all is amazing, he does not say.

Dean smiles against Cas’s skin.

There is much Cas misses about being an angel–healing, flying, super-strength, not being so damned fragile–but on the opposite side, there are so many things that make the Fall worthwhile. He’d touched Dean when he was still an angel, and it had been nice enough. Better than nice even; there’d been something special about touching Dean from the first time he’d held the hunter’s broken soul in hell. But in this his human senses are far superior. The touch of Dean’s lips on the soft skin between Cas’s shoulder blades makes his heart race, his breathing quicken. Dean laughs, not more than a soft breath, and Cas’s stomach flips at the heat across his skin. He’s getting hard, just from a few small sensations.

Yes, the Fall was worthwhile. Even if they’re doomed, he wouldn’t trade this for all the Grace ever created.

Dean goes on, most likely unaware of Cas’s growing arousal. Cas focuses on Dean’s voice and on keeping his own breathing as even as possible, and soon he’s nearly as lost in Dean’s memories as Dean himself.

“I always tried to find fun stuff for Sammy, growing up.” Dean’s voice catches a little on his brother’s name, but he pushes through. “Most of the things I did pissed Dad off, but I didn’t let him stop me. The kid had to have something good in his horror of a childhood. Little things: a bag of marshmallows to roast over a campfire, a Monopoly game we could play in motel rooms, a baseball cap I knew he wanted. I found a pair of roller skates in his size once; I think he was about eleven. Man, that was a mess. Dumb kid took off like he knew just what he was doing and two yards later fell flat on his face. Dad put four stitches over his left eye and lectured him the whole time about what if that rock hit your eye instead of your forehead, blah blah blah. Sammy took it like a champ, didn’t flinch once, and as soon as Dad was gone Sammy put the skates right back on and took off again. And that time he didn’t fall. Well, he did, but not right away, and not so he needed stitches.”

Cas can tell Dean is working up to something, even if it all just seems like rambling. Dean is a roadmap, and sometimes Cas can follow. “A few months before I turned 16 I stole Dad’s car for a couple hours and took Sammy to a drive-in. You ever…?” Dean answers his own question before Cas has the chance to even shake his head. “Nah, you weren’t much of a movie-goer back in your halo days. At a drive-in you sit in your car to watch a movie–outside, at night. You park by a little speaker that pipes the sound right to you, and the screen is gigantic, big as...well, I don’t even know, it’s been too long, but trust me, it’s big. You look out the front of the car and all you see is the movie. You’ve got the sound filling up the car and the movie filling up your eyes and it’s like you and whoever you’re sitting with are in your own little world, whatever make-believe world the actors and all the rest made for you to live in. For a few hours, anyway.”

Dean’s voice is rough, almost raw. “That’s what we have, Cas. A few hours in a bubble full of make-believe, until the bubble pops and it’s the end of the world again.”

Cas wants to scream, to deny every word, to tell Dean it isn’t make-believe, it isn’t, and he wants to spend every minute from now until they fall to dust proving it, but instead he hears his traitorous mouth whisper, “I know.”

“It’s okay,” Dean says, and Cas isn’t sure which of them Dean is trying to comfort. “It’s okay. The pretending, the bubble–it’s enough.”

It isn’t. Cas wants it all, wants every bit of Dean. His smiles and his glares, his laughs and his curses, his happy chatter and his incoherent tears. He wants to be fucked into the mattress and then hold Dean in his arms until the sun comes up, to have Dean stay all night instead of slinking away in the darkness.

It isn’t enough. The coffee’s been gone for awhile, but he wants to make Dean tea in the mornings, good strong tea to bring a little of the sparkle back to his green eyes. He wants to go with him on foraging runs, venturing out of their little corner of the world to find supplies to last them just a little bit longer. He wants to have Dean’s back, to protect him, to keep him safe. He doesn’t have his mojo anymore, but he still has his blade, and he’s had millenia of practice to hone his skills.

Cas doesn’t want only darkness, grasping and clutching at each other when the rest of the world sleeps. He wants to give Dean every kind of pleasure, and maybe a little bit of peace. As a fallen angel, Cas doesn’t think he gets to go to heaven, but he doesn’t mind. He has here, he has now.

So this little bubble of half-truths and fairy tales��

It’s not enough.

Cas’s eyes begin to sting. “Fuck.” The word is mostly air, barely a sound at all, but of course Dean hears. Because Dean can see through Cas’s pretences too. That’s how these things work.

“Cas?”

“It’s nothing,” Cas says, but Dean sees through that too, maneuvering them both so they’re face to face on the narrow bed. Cas closes his eyes, willing the tears to stop before they can properly begin. He hates to cry, hates to have his feelings fly so far out of his control that they stream down his face in the form of wet, salty tears.

“It’s nothing,” he says again, when he trusts that his voice won’t give him away. Then, grasping at the first thought that passes through his head, he says, “I just don’t like when the bubble pops.”

The lines around Dean’s eyes soften. He presses a kiss to Cas’s forehead and says, “We’ve still got a few hours. I’m not going anywhere.” His yet is unspoken but Cas hears it anyway.

Dean’s got one hand holding the side of Cas’s face, fingers threaded into his hair, the other resting lightly on his hip. Their legs are tangled together, and when Dean moves in to kiss Cas again their hips move together and Cas can’t take it anymore. There is so much skin, it feels like skin for miles, but also like he can feel every individual cell, every molecule of Dean’s breath, every miniscule drop of sweat…

“Dean,” Cas groans, because it’s too much, his brain is going to overload. It doesn’t matter that they had sex not long ago–Cas needs more, needs to be closer. “Dean.” It’s almost a prayer. “Please.”

And Dean is there, even before he calls, pushing him onto his back. Dean kisses Cas, hungry, and Cas is happy–eager–to be devoured. He’s got his arms wrapped around Dean, clawing at his back, trying to pull them closer together. There’s a part of his brain screaming that Dean thinks this is all pretend, so maybe if Cas can get them close enough together, if he can somehow press the truth into Dean’s skin, then maybe Dean will understand.

But then Dean thrusts his cock (hard, so hard, and all for him) against Cas’s, and he stops thinking and just feels.

Cas throws his head back and Dean nips at his throat; Cas hisses and claws at Dean’s back again. There’s a growl coming from deep in Dean’s chest, but Cas can feel the smile against his skin. They both like the small shocks of pain–reminders of life.

Holding himself up on one forearm, Dean reaches between them, wrapping his strong, calloused fingers around both their cocks. A moan escapes Cas’s lips, and Dean chuckles softly. “Do you remember the first time we did this?” He’s looking deep into Cas’s eyes, and not for the first time Cas suspects he sees a bit of faerie in the emerald depths; enchanting, beautiful, tricksome, and dangerous. He knows there’s nothing to the thought; he knit Dean back together molecule by molecule, saw every strand of his DNA.

Dean twists his hand in a particularly skillful way and Cas is pulled back to the present. Their first time. Yes, Cas remembers. How could he forget?

“Summer sun,” Cas manages, in between gasping breaths. “Your freckles…”

“My freckles?” Dean laughs. “That’s what you remember?”

“I might be only human now, Dean Winchester, but I remember–” He gasps as Dean’s palm brushes against a particularly sensitive spot– “I remember every second of that afternoon with perfect–” Another shuddering gasp– “Perfect clarity.”

Dean’s hand stutters to a stop, and when Cas sees the look in Dean’s eyes something in his stomach twists. Don’t be too real don’t be too real shouts a voice inside his head, clearly battling with the part of him that wants Dean to know everything.

I’m a mess, he thinks.

To Dean he says in a low, broken voice, “I was leaning against the trunk of a tree, looking up at the sun shining through the leaves. It occurred to me that I’d never spent any time looking at trees, or leaves, or much of anything at all while I was an angel. I did what I was told. Didn’t even take time to look around and enjoy the view.”

Dean’s hand starts to move again. For a moment Cas’s eyelids flutter closed, his eyes rolling upwards in pure pleasure, but then he continues, concentrating on speaking slowly and carefully and without breaking. He almost succeeds.

“I hadn’t been human long. A month? Five weeks? Not long enough to get used to human senses. So when you walked up and the sun shone down on your face, your freckles standing out against your pale skin… And then you put your hand–” The memory of Dean’s hand reaching out is too much and he has to stop to breathe, to gain control, because he doesn’t want to come yet. The story isn’t over. “You put your hand on my shoulder and said, ‘Hey Cas.’”

That had been it. Just a touch, some freckles, and his name on Dean’s lips.

“There was something in your eyes,” Dean says, taking over the narrative. “I hadn’t meant to kiss you. But you looked...kissable. Blue eyes wide and…” He gives his head a quick shake. “I don’t know what it was. But as soon as our lips touched I knew it was the right thing to do. Knew I shouldn’t have waited so long to do it.” At this Cas raises his head up just enough to slot their lips together. It’s an electric current, sharp and warm, just like it always is.

It’s home.

“And then you pushed me up against my cabin wall.”

They’re both breathing heavy now, each of them close to their release but trying to hold on.

“It was the closest wall I could find,” Dean says, a little defensive, a little embarrassed. “And it was a little more hidden than the tree we started out against.”

If Cas had the breath to spare he’d laugh. He lets out a puff of air instead, and Dean’s eyes light up in response. “Yeah,” Cas says, teasing. “Sun shining down on us, completely visible from three sides, only blocked by the cabin. Couldn’t be bothered to–”

Dean stops him with a kiss. Cas doesn’t mind. Cas’s mind is full of lips and skin and hands and sparks and pleasure that is building and building and threatening to heave him overboard–

Cas is on the edge, barely hanging on, when Dean stops.

The stillness is both total and false. Neither of them moves, almost as if they are frozen in time, and there is no breath of wind coming through the open window, no branches scratching at the roof. But there are two hearts pounding, two men gasping for breath, and the whispers of a thousand words not being said.

Cas refuses to be the first one to speak. He knows if he opens his mouth, he’ll never stop.

It feels like an eternity has passed–though it’s probably only been ten or fifteen seconds, Cas’s sense of time has been skewed since his Fall–when Dean breaks the silence.

“What do you want, Cas?”

“Everything.”

Cas tells the truth, the real truth, before he can think, and for a moment he wishes he could somehow call the word back, erase it from history, go back to their bubble of make-believe. Dean would probably let him brush it off. He could call it sex induced lunacy. It’s probably even true.

But no. No. He’s fucking tired of pretend, of half-truths, of bedtime stories. This isn’t enough. He means it, he wants everything.

Dean is looking into his eyes, searching for something. Cas can’t read his expression, he’s guarding his thoughts too closely.

It hurts, having Dean hide from him. They’re naked and in each other’s arms, and Dean’s…

Well, really they’re both hiding. They’ve been hiding from the beginning.

Shit.

There’s a burning behind Cas’s eyes again, but this time he can’t blink the tears away. When the first tear rolls down Cas’s face Dean pulls back, a fraction of an inch, in surprise. His thumb wipes away the tear.

“Cas?”

“It’s not enough,” Cas says. “I can’t do this anymore, Dean. I meant what I said, I want everything. All of it. I want to spend the night with you and wake up with you in the morning. I want to kiss you in the daytime, with the sun on your freckles. Are you ashamed of me? The camp screwup, the broken angel? Because people talk, Dean. Everyone knows you come here, and they know what we do, and they don’t care. The world is falling apart. There are bigger things to worry about. There are bigger things for us, too, but right now all that matters is I can’t hide anymore. I love you, Dean. I think...no. I know I always have. And I don’t want to waste another second hiding in the dark.”

And Dean just looks at him. Once upon a time Cas put Dean together, molecule by molecule. Saw every bit of him. That’s how Cas feels now. Examined. Seen.

Known.

It should be horrifying, but it’s Dean, so Cas just looks back, waiting. He doesn’t even wipe away the tears that keep falling despite his best efforts to blink the damned things back.

The silence goes on so long Cas is sure Dean is going to get up and walk away. It’s okay, he tells himself. I want more, I want everything, but to love...that will never end. It will hurt, but I’ll still love him. No matter–

And then Dean is kissing him. It’s not heated, or frantic; it’s a soft, gentle kiss and makes Cas feel wrapped in love. They both smile, their foreheads pressed together. “Wish you’d said something sooner, Cas.”

“Didn’t want to push you away.”

Dean pulls back a little. “That’s...well, yeah, that’s…”

Smile widening, Cas says, “We’ll work it out.”

In what Cas supposes is an answer, Dean kisses him. A bit more playful this time, he even bites at Cas’s lower lip. Cas can’t hold back his moan. The feel of teeth rasping against his skin…it’s almost too much.

And then Dean’s hand starts moving again, tugging and twisting at their dicks. Cas is almost startled, he’d been so caught up in his confession of– but now isn’t the time, he’s groaning into Dean’s mouth and he thinks there might be words but his brain isn’t quite connected to the rest of his body at the moment. All he knows is good and Dean and so much love and skin and when Dean murmurs Cas’s name it’s too much for him and he spills his seed between them. Dean chases after, a punched out sound falling from his lips.

They lie together, still, their come sticky and drying between them. Somewhere far off in the camp a door clatters shut.

“I wish–” Dean starts.

“I know,” Cas interrupts. But it’s not the time to dwell on what might have been.

Dean shifts them into a more comfortable position. “Okay.”

“We should–”

“No.” This time it’s Dean interrupting. “Not yet. We can clean up in a few minutes. Right now I just want to hold you.”

Tucking his face against Dean’s chest, Cas murmurs, “I can’t say no to that.”

Dean somehow pulls Cas closer, and Cas’s skin sings. Worth every feather, he thinks. Every drop of Grace.

For @bend-me-shape-me ‘s Dean/Cas summer prompts!

Week 2 (drive-in cinema) and week 3 (I can still recall our last summer)

I hit week 3 kinda sideways…but it works!

#lirael writes #deancassummerprompts21 #endverse destiel #love confessions #angst with a happy ending #this makes me happy

36 notes · View notes

barren-heart · 4 years ago

Text

If you’re Jensen Ackles, Misha Collins, or Jared Padalecki.

STOP.

Read this post.

Dear J2M,

This is an open letter for you three written by a couple of unhappy passionate fans.

We write this to you because we know at least one of you has a secret Stan account and creeps on the destiel hashtag from time to time. Don’t lie. (Ahem. Misha Collins. Looking at you, Sir.)

With the subtle hints and possibility of a revival, us here at BarrenHeart (Bee and Jay) have some thoughts on what we think a reboot/continuation/revival would look like if it was done well.

Note: we don’t speak for the whole fandom(obviously). And we don’t even speak for all of the Cas/destiel fans. This is from our observation of the fandom after 15x18 and the finale, plus our own opinions.

Here are our demands suggestions for the potential revival.

--Castiel--

First things first. Castiel is brought back.

And by that, we mean he is either shown to be rescued from the empty, Jack rescues him from the empty, or by some other means, that man is not left there to suffer for all of eternity.

Castiel is a lead character.

Not a guest star, not “and Misha Collins.” No. Misha Collins gets to be in every d*mn episode. He is an equal lead alongside Dean and Sam. Which leads into the next point.

Castiel gets his own storyline.

It can be connected to Dean in some way, but he needs his own arc, y’all. Don't care what that is, but he IS his own character. So, some form of personal growth or whatever needs to happen. He is a badass and deserves a good storyline. Also…

Give this M-- F-- (mother father) his wings back!

Yes, he died without ever having his wings return to their full power. Like? We know he was nerfed so he wouldn't overpower Sam and Dean. Prove to us that he can be a fully powered badass and still work alongside Sam and Dean. No need to get rid of that.

Human!Cas does not mean pathetic Cas.

There is a divide on whether Castiel should stay an angel. Personally, we like human Cas. However, human Cas was shafted in the series. If you make him human in any way, shape, or form, he’s gonna still have to be a badass. Don’t whimp him!

He can be a good hunter/pretend FBI agent just like Sam and Dean!

So, make him one! Let him do more cases. On his own. With other people. With Sam. With Dean. He can fight without powers, too.

Give him love!

For the love of freaking Jack, let that man know he is loved by people. Not even mentioning anything romantic, he still needs platonic love y’all. Let Sam say it, let Jack say it. Let anyone in his family tell him that he is loved. Not once in this series did Cas hear that anyone loved him. So, fix it!

New style, anyone?

Cas needs other clothes! Please now. The black trenchcoat we never saw in-show? Boss. Cas in a black leather jacket? Coolness. Hunter plaid? Do it.

Confession Resolution

Speaking of love, come to some conclusion please about him and Dean. Give a resolution somehow, somewhere. We personally don’t really care how it’s done, but there needs to be something said here. You cannot just drop a confession there and just leave like it never happened. So, talk about it.

Adding this, I swear, if this is bros only, you WILL lose Cas fans. So, think about what you’re doing.

--Sam--

Sam is important!

Now, personally we have a soft spot for Sam. His character arc in Season 1-5 was great. Demon blood, powerful Sam was amazing. So, don’t sideline Sam. Seriously. We are gonna say in an unpopular way (as if this post isn’t already unpopular to some), but Sam got sidelined real hard in the last few seasons of the show. Now, was that what Jared wanted? Don’t know. But, Sam needs his own storyline too that isn’t just revolved around Dean. Figure it out.

Witch!Sam

Speaking of which, let this man be powerful. Sam is best when he has powers. Sorry but also not. He has been given all of Rowena’s (who is arguably the best witch around) spell books and decides to not really do much with it? No. He’s becoming a BAMF witch. Full-out, no word spells and shit. End point.

Sam in Charge

He’s not just a baby brother. He’s a grown man. Give him room to grow. Allow him to be a leader. Let him lead a group of hunters, witches, a whole team of people! He’s strong on his own, too. He's a big boy. Prove it.

He should fall in love.

Like, get married and all that. It’s a part of his arc, so keep it there. No blurry wife, my god! Personally it should be Eileen. She’s a badass. They also have a lot in common! Holy hell. They make a good team. So, keep that suggestion in mind.

Let him have the hero’s journey.

We want a good ending that shows growth for this character! He saw himself as a freak with powers, so…maybe he can use his powers now in a way that in empowering instead? Let him have an ending that doesn't just return to the beginning. Let him have gone through all of this changed for the better.

Don't be creepy.

Still keep the brotherly bond with Dean, but don’t make it weird, y’all. Don’t. Please.

Sam as a dad.

He can have a kid. But, Dean Jr? Eh. You might want to reconsider some other (Bobby) possibilities.

--Dean--

Now, with Dean, I wanna make this clear.

DO NOT K word THIS MAN.

This man here has dealt with unbelievable trauma, suicidal thoughts and even almost died by suicide in the show (okay, it was for another reason, but still!) He dies way too many times in this show. It’s not new anymore. Perhaps, when the show was newer, death might have been a bittersweet ending. But, now. It’s tarnished. It happened too much and the message of “carry on” got tainted to mean “there is only peace when you die.” That’s not okay.

Resolve his issues!

He has so much pain and trauma. Let him seek help. Let your audience know that it’s okay to process these emotions. Let him heal. He deserves it.

Dean’s internal struggles

This is piggybacking a little off of point two, but Dean has a lot of things he needs to figure out. We feel like his journey is more internal. While processing his trauma, he needs to learn that it's okay to be himself. This could include things about himself that he feels ashamed of or scared to admit. Things he may have repressed or suppressed over time. No more hiding who he is or brushing it off or making jokes. Be your true self, Dean. It's time.

Dean’s still important, of course

That said, Dean should still be integral to the overall narrative of the plot. Of course he's gonna go head to head with the Big Bad of the season/limited series, but he really should focus on what's inside first before he can take this monster down.

The Bro bond

No more dependent/unhealthy bond with Sam. Of course they are family and brothers, and will always be close. That's perfectly fine. However, its important to note that Dean was Sam’s mom/Dad most of his whole life. And, well, that never came to a resolution. Please let Dean resolve this issue. Sam is grown and older now, and even though Dean will always feel protective of him as his Big brother, Dean shouldn't feel like his life only revolves around taking care of Sam. There is more to Dean and his life.

Dean is complex

Also, Dean is not only about cars, burgers, and pie. It's like some of the writers forgot this. There are so many things/interests of Dean’s that are really cool and add to the complexity of his character. Keep those things.

He needs to resolve his issue with Jack.

He never said sorry to the kid. Not once after telling Sam that Jack wasn't family. He needs to tell Jack he is loved.

Speaking of which, Dean needs to tell Cas he loves him.

Okay. Who knows if you will make destiel reciprocal at this point.

Do we think Dean would have reciprocated based on context clues and what we have seen in the show? Yes.

Do we think this love is romantic? Yes.

Do we think you'll actually fully make it canon in a reboot/continuation? Eh.

Regardless, Dean loves Cas, so make it known.

Other demands considerations.

‘The found family’ needs to not be forgotten.

All the friends that were made along the way need to be included. What happened with Garth was great, actually. Do more of that. And by that, we mean include Jody and Donna. What are the girls doing now? Wayward sisters anyone? Bring Kevin back. Don't leave him to roam the earth all along like that. Either make him human again like Eileen or send him to rest in Heaven.

Where’s Eileen?

Hello??? Where? Tell us she made it back.

Claire

No idea if you can get Kathryn Newton back, but it would be cool at least for one episode. Please. Kaia? Resolve her storyline.

Also, Charlie.

Wtf happened? That was not resolved. We love Felicia Day. Charlie’s friendship with Dean is amazing. She deserves a few episodes.

Crowley!

Seriously. What happened to Mark was super disappointing. You gotta bring him back. His death wasn't great. Bring him back and give him his damn line already!

Jack!

I'm not fully on the Baby!Jack train, but he does deserve a normal life. He's three years old technically. He had no normal life whatsoever. He deserves that. So, give him that.

More Rowena please!

That's it. She's awesome.

Have a wedding.

No, really. Someone's gotta get married. Our pick: Sam and Eileen. Charlie is also a good contender for having a wedding with her partner, too. So there. Weddings are happy. We want a happy ending.

I will reiterate. Team free will lives. That's it.

Okay. Now, moving on to the next part of this. The elephant in the room. The thing a lot of us actually want from this, but frankly, we aren't sure if you'll do it.

Explicit Destiel.

If you've read this far J2M, then you're probably wondering when this was going to be addressed. So, here are the stipulations on destiel.

Go big or go home.

Yep. We said it. Make it explicit, full out, no ambiguity.

Honestly, you might be thinking what you could do to make it explicitly canon? Well, since there were tons of people who still think Cas’ love confession was just a platonic exchange between two bros (like wtf? How?), you're gonna have to spell it out for people.

But, some things that we may perceive as romantic, some people may not.

--Like, holding hands could be considered platonic between two men to some people.

--Cheek kissing could also be considered platonic to some people.

Not to say we need Jensen and Misha doing full on *** scenes to prove anything, but something more than a hand hold. Okay? Okay.

What we’re saying is basically, you're gonna have to kiss. On the lips. Yep.

So...I guess you'll have to figure out how you want to do that.

On when to make it canon:

You can decide if it makes sense to make it canon towards the beginning or towards the end. Honestly, there could be an argument for either. If it's made canon earlier, you could prove there can be a relationship alongside the main storyline. If you wait until the end, you'll leave fans wondering if you'll actually do it. But, the kiss being the major event of the finale could be worth it. Whichever you do, remember there are upsides and downsides to both.

Other other considerations:

Just realize who your fanbase is now. We’ve grown and changed. Like Becky, your fans have gone through a huge change in what they want from the show. Is the fandom all on the same page? Nope. Will they ever be? No.

You will not please everyone. That's a given. But, a lot of fans want to see the show wrap up in a better way than what we got. Destiel fans aside, the finale was not great overall. There are plenty of negative finale reviews that have nothing to do with destiel.

On top of that, society is changing. Slowly. The attitudes in regards to lgbtq media is quite different than before. You have the chance to make history. Really. If you make this canon, that will be a part of your legacy. You'll hit the news. I mean, 15x18 wasn't even the finale and it trended #1 that day.

We suggest that if you do decide to make it canon, it’s meaningful and you take the time to do it right.

So, consider your fans. Consider the part of the fandom that trended your show over the election. Consider the fans that trended a fictional wedding on Valentine's Day. Consider Misha/Cas fans who felt slighted. Consider your LGBTQA + fans. Just, think about what the reboot could achieve. What it could mean to a lot of people.

As always, we just want happiness and peace when we are done.

Thanks for reading Misha J2M.

Sincerely,

Bee 🐝 and Jay 🐦

#supernatural #destiel #castiel #spn #deancas #dean x castiel #misha collins

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myhumanweakness · 4 years ago

Text

Destiel/Cockles analysis s/p 15x18

Okay, so... This is gonna be a mishmash of thoughts, but if you stick with me maybe you’ll get what I’m saying.

I’ve been seeing a lot of shit condemning Jensen as a homophobe because of his previous actions/statements about Destiel and also (for some ungodly reason) because of his performance during the confession in 15x18. And I have this theory that I needed to get out because it’s been there for a while, and now is the perfect time to explain it.

This show started out in 2005 as a show about two manly, Midwestern men that got pulled into a life of hunting the Earth’s worst creatures, tapping ass, and drinking beers (while also giving you a play-by-play on how to repress emotions), and there was also A LOT of love buried in the plot. A lot.

The world was a completely different place in 2005. The own creator of the show didn’t expect the show to go past 5 seasons, so when the longevity came they were forced to grow. We watched this show go through a very human process/experience of growth and acceptance and evolution, and we got to grow along side it. Was it always a neat, beautiful process? Hell no. There were a lot of potholes along the way. But, growth isn’t linear. The point is that they (the writers, producers, actors, etc.) kept pushing themselves to grow year after year.

So now, back to Jensen. Jensen has shown this fandom time and time again not only how grateful he is that we adore him and helped him to cultivate a life beyond what he has dreamed of but also that he is attentive and considerate to our feelings/thoughts. Has he disagreed with us at times? Hell yes he has. Has be bluntly stated that “Destiel doesn’t exist.” Hell yes he has. And it’s been hurtful and frustrating and invalidating. But, take a step back for a moment.

Jensen is so connected to Dean. His friends and even his own wife has stated that he sometimes forgets that “he’s not Dean.” Dean has informed so much of who Jensen is for the last 15 years. And Jensen has admittedly seen a lot of himself in Dean. So who was Dean at the beginning of this show? Dean was the guy who made gay jokes, slept with plethoras of woman to fill a void (and also for pleasure), was so out of touch with his feelings because he was too busy being the person his father wanted/needed him to be, and had a very clear idea of what it meant to be a man. That’s the brain Jensen lived in for years while playing Dean. And honestly, it’s been speculated and discussed here, that Jensen’s brain might not have been too far off from that mindset outside of Dean.

But just as we watched the show grow, I truly believe we watched Jensen grow. And we all know Danneel is a big part of that because she is wildly herself and big and fierce, especially about the things she believes in and loves, and she is open-minded and just pushes people to grow. And he has said those things about her. But I also think that a lot of Jensen’s growth came from Misha because as much as Danneel has influenced him over the years, I firmly believe Jensen needed to see/meet/form a relationship with someone like Misha in order to truly/permanently break down those walls about what a man should/could be.

Cockles fans have long dissected and held up microscopes to Jensen and Misha’s relationship, so much so that there are pages and pages of theories about how their love bloomed, their break ups, their tender moments, and the growth of their relationship in general. But one thing that I think Jensen frequently struggled with is this idea that he needed to keep Dean true to who he is as a person, and that any growth and evolution in Jensen’s life (ie his relationship with Misha) couldn’t influence that. All of those moments he was denouncing Destiel seemed to be out of a struggle to keep those two people separate- Jensen vs Dean. Because in Jensen’s head, Dean was still this super straight, rough and tough, Midwestern monster hunter.

But over the years, the Destiel fandom was comforted by Misha’s outspoken love, admiration, and agreement. Misha truly championed this fandom with reckless abandon. But while Misha was comfortable (to a degree) with himself and his relationship with Jensen, we really watched Jensen struggle. We watched Jensen grow.

So, fast forward to the last couple of years. Destiel is subtextually canon- the writers have confirmed this at this point. Jensen is less negative about Destiel at panels insofar as to talk about their “break ups” and “domestic disputes” and “relationship” with a validating tone. Is he fervently talking about Destiel safe words and bondage and having sex/making out? No. But that’s not who Jensen is. He’s much more conservative with his emotions than Misha... at least publicly.

This fandom has watched Jensen grow, not only in his dealings with/approach to Cockles but also with Destiel. So, while Jensen has long been adamant that Dean is not bisexual and couldn’t end up with Cas, I think there was potentially a moment where Misha (and potentially Danneel) were like, “Well, why can’t Dean be bi? Why can’t he finally realize that about himself after years of breaking down barriers and fears and conditioned notions? You did.”

What came first, Cockles or Destiel? That’s been the debate right? The chicken or the egg? I truly think without Cockles coming first, we would have never been able to have Destiel. In fact, in my head, I can make the argument that without Jensen growing and going through the process of falling in love with Misha, Destiel would have never become canon. Jensen needed to first separate himself from Dean (which we are all privy to), grow and fall in love [again] as Jensen, and then give Dean the permission to grow and fall in love too.

As we have seen from this week’s episode, Destiel has been there for years. YEARS. But Dean has always had to deal with two struggles: accepting himself and Jensen accepting him. We heard Jensen say at a panel that when he read the script for the final episode, he had a hard time coming to terms with what happened. People have long speculated that was referring to Destiel. Now, maybe it is and maybe it isn’t (I guess we’ll find out in two weeks), but it would make a lot of sense if it was.

As everyone (the writers, actors, fans, etc.) has validated and acknowledged Destiel and particularly Dean’s love for Cas, Jensen has continued to struggle with it. But I don’t think it’s because Jensen is homophobic or anything like some people are saying. I think it’s because Jensen has worked tirelessly to separate the romantic lives of himself and Dean. Jensen convinced himself that Dean loving Cas and them having a relationship would be out of character, when in reality it followed this pattern of growth that both the show and bi (& LGTQ+) men/individuals around the world followed. Because Jensen is so connected to Dean, he can’t have 2020 vision until it’s hindsight because as Dean was coming out to himself and accepting himself, Jensen was accepting Dean simultaneously. It’s actually a beautiful thing. And it doesn’t make Jensen homophobic... it makes Jensen human.

As many LGBTQ+ people will tell you, the path to realization and acceptance is fraught with struggle (internal and external) and doubt and denial and even self-hatred. There are no two characters that embody that more than Cas and Dean. So, I think that once Jensen realized that he went through a similar process as Dean it wasn’t that crazy anymore that Dean was in love with Cas. And Jensen loving Misha didn’t force Dean to love Cas- Jensen didn’t make Dean bi- Jensen loving Misha gave Dean the permission to love Cas and become one of the most human characters (especially male characters) to ever exist because we got to watch Dean find love and accept love through repression, struggle, self realization, and self acceptance.

And for that, Jensen Ackles will go down in history as one of the best actors of this generation. Because he truly brought life to Dean Winchester.

Thank you for attending my TedTalk. I wanted to be much more thorough with this and include gifs and video evidence, but this is already lengthy and I doubt anyone even made it to the end.

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sortasirius · 4 years ago

Note

Any ideas on Claire (maybe w/Kaia) and Jack post finale interaction as TFW kids? They would be the most chaotic duo/trio, remembering what a bamf Claire is, how much Jack enjoyed his time with those teens in s14 (he really needs friends asap!!) and how he bonded w/Kaia in s13/15 Also! maybe a prompt, them trying to delicately ask Sam or even Jody about wtf is destiel’s status (before those two idiots get together) and Sam/Jody getting super awkward but actually explaining some of it? Xx

My chaos children, I love them, I sorta made this about everyone in wayward bc I desperately miss those ladies and will never get over the injustice of them not having their own show.

These were so fun to do!!!

After they beat Chuck, Jack ends up going to Jody while Sam/Eileen and Dean/Cas just...take some time for each other and themselves.

Jack knows Kaia, obviously, but he’s accepted by all the ladies immediately. Donna especially adores him.

Claire teaches Jack how to throw knives, and he accidentally breaks two of Jody’s windows before Jody finds them an abandoned field to throw projectiles in

Jack tells Claire that she reminds him of Dean. Claire rolls her eyes but swells with pride.

Claire also makes Jack tell her everything about Cas, about what kind of dad he was to Jack, what she learned from him. Jack tells her everything and more, he tells her how much Cas loves her.

Jack doesn’t really like to go hunting anymore, so he stays home with Alex and Patience when the others go hunting, they teach him how to make a really good mac and cheese and teach him the difference between curry and cinnamon (they almost learn that the hard way when making an apple pie)

Kaia and Claire want to take Jack everywhere, because he’s never really been able to just be a kid, so they end up spending a lot of time skipping rocks at a creek by Jody’s house. Jack learns to talk to them openly about just about everything, and it helps Kaia open up to someone other than Claire too.

They all spend Friday nights watching movies, Jack asks a lot of questions

Kaia and Jack talk about the different worlds they’ve seen, and are able to help heal each other’s traumas

Jack, in classic Jack fashion, is also the one who asks blatantly about Claire and Kaia. Claire turns beet red and Kaia looks away immediately, but it’s only a few days later that they start holding hands. Jody thanks Jack later, he doesn’t really understand why

When Sam or Dean or Cas check in on him, Jack talks their ears off about all the things they did that day, from the very mundane window cleaning to the clearing out of a vamp’s nest and learning how to use Donna’s flamethrower.

Jack finds a second family in Sioux Falls

Pairings: Claire/Kaia, Dean/Cas

Words: 1219

Claire Novak is no idiot. She may have been a little oblivious about how Kaia had felt about her at first. Look, she had just been carrying around a lot of guilt and thought Kaia would hate her for leaving her, it’s perfectly natural. But she’s gotten better about seeing things that are right in front of her, especially since she and Kaia had been, well, dating, for nearly two months. She turns all mushy every time she thinks about that.

Point is, Claire can tell something is going on with Dean, and it has something to do with Cas. But everytime she asks him about it, Dean just huffs and rolls his eyes, tells her it’s nothing or that she’s seeing things. Even Cas is no help, training his eyes to the ground and asking her not to talk about it.

Claire has had just about enough of the weird energy being created. Hell, they all have. Patience and Alex said to leave it alone, that Sam, Dean, Cas, and Jack were only visiting for a few days, checking in on Kaia after everything, bringing Jack by to meet everyone, but Claire has never been one to just roll over when presented with a problem, so she’s going to get to the bottom of it, even if Dean and Cas themselves are no help.

“Hey Jack,” Claire sits down heavily next to him on the porch swing in the back, where he’s watching the hummingbirds fight over the sugar water in Donna’s feeder. Kaia trails behind her, leaning against the doorframe leading into the house. She didn’t particularly understand why Claire was so…obsessed with finding out what was going on, but they were in it together now. (Again, it makes Claire feel mushy).

“Hello!” Jack is a little weird, but a good weird. He doesn’t get any of the movie references Claire makes but understands all of Dean’s, which is a travesty, Dean has terrible taste in movies, but he’s got a kind, open face and reminds Claire of Cas quite a bit, so she likes him.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” Jack is still watching the hummingbirds, but Claire assumes he’s listening, so she just dives right in.

“What’s up with Cas and Dean?”Jack turns back to her, looking a little confused.

“What do you mean?”

“They seem, um, weird. When they’re together.”

“Oh that,” Jack turns back to his birds again, “They’re always like that. It’s getting worse, but they ignore me when I ask about it.”

Claire slumps. Dammit. Back to square one.

“Claire,” Kaia grabs her hand as they head to their next target. Claire stops immediately. She still can’t get over the fact that Kaia is here, with her, and still likes her apparently, even though she left her for dead in the Bad Place.

“Yeah?” she gives Kaia a smile, which is returned with interest. Claire’s heart is going to burst out of her chest, just watch.

“What are we doing? Shouldn’t they figure out their own stuff?”

“Ugh, as if they ever would. I get that they’re older than us. In Cas’ case like, thousands of years older than us, but if we don’t figure this out and fix it, they never will.”

Kaia sighs, leaning in to kiss her. Man, Claire was never going to get enough of this.

“Fine,” she smiles again, “Lead the way.”

Jody is working in the garage on a weapons project for Donna, something about powering up the flamethrower or something?

“Hey Jody,” Claire gives her the smile that will tip Jody off immediately that she wants something, but there’s no time to waste here, Dean, Cas, Sam, and Jack are only here through tomorrow.

“Hey girls, what’s up?” Jody turns to face them, “Oh boy, what do you want?”

Kaia laughs.

“Nothing much, just wanted to know if you know what’s going on with Dean and Cas.”

“Dean and Cas?” Sam’s voice comes from the open garage door and he appears, carrying a box of books for Patience. Unsurprisingly, they were essentially best friends now.

“Hey Sam,” Claire puts on her best smile again and Jody sighs loudly, not that it would stop her, “Yeah, they’re just acting weird around each other. We, well I wanted to know what’s going on.”

Sam’s face whitens by degrees, and he looks from Claire, to Kaia, to Jody, who just shrugs.

“Uh…”

“Don’t tell me you don’t know, you look like you’ve seen a ghost. Okay, that’s a stupid analogy, but you know what I mean.”

“I don’t know anything…” Sam hedges, but that is not going to be good enough for Claire today.

“But you know something,” Kaia interjects, and now Sam knows he’s outnumbered, because Jody is looking at him with as much interest as Claire and Kaia are.

“Just that. Well, ugh,” Sam is swaying from foot to foot, like a deer about to bolt, “Even I don’t know what’s happening but…things are escalating. Stuff that was only simmering below the surface before is now boiling. They don’t say anything, but um, I think there’s something there.”

Claire grins.

“Great, that’s all I needed.”

“You did not hear this from me.”

“Sure sure.”

Sam makes his escape before they can ask him any more uncomfortable questions. Claire and Kaia high five as Jody laughs.

“Don’t make them too uncomfortable,” she warns, turning back to her workbench and flamethrower, “They’re our guests.”

“Come on Jody,” Claire grabs Kaia’s hand again, “It’s Dean.”

“So,” Claire leans against the Impala as Dean works under the hood. She knows him well enough to know that that would put him in a good mood.

“So?”

“When are you gonna make a move on Cas?”

Dean bangs his head on the hood of the car.

“What?”

“You heard me.”

Dean stares at Claire, who stares right back, listening to Kaia, Patience, and Alex laugh from the living room window. Dean’s eyes snap to the sound and then back to Claire, then up and down the empty street. His ears are turning redder by the second. She knows she has him.

“Yeah I heard you I guess. Just don’t understand where the hell this is coming from.”

“You’re not exactly subtle,” Claire points out, as Dean’s blush deepens, “Also you two have been acting weird since you got here. So me and Kaia did some reconnaissance.”

Dean looks at her with a set in his mouth, like he’s ready to argue. Claire just grins at him.

“Reconnaissance?”

“We asked Jack, and then Jody, and then Sam about it.”

Dean slides a hand down his face. It seems like he’s admitting defeat. A good thing.

“Listen it, it’s nothing. We’ve just got our own crap to work through, and we’ll work through that crap, and then get back to normal.”

“Or you could make a move on him.”

“Claire.”

“Dean.”

“Why do you care, anyway?”

“Because stupid, I care about you and I care about him. And if this will get you out of your weirdness then I’m all for it.”

Dean looks into the engine block of the Impala, sighs, and then slams the hood shut.

“Fine. Fine. But if this doesn’t work, I’m melting down your knife.”

Claire grins and runs off to find Kaia. Mission accomplished.

#my writing #prompts #dreamhunter #destiel #spn #supernatural #headcanons #kaia #claire #jack kline #my bbs #lilly answers #aristocat21

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spookyseraphs · 4 years ago

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supernatural and the x-files (specifically destiel and msr) parallels

this was intended to convert my spn friends to txf and my txf friends to spn and then it got out of hand. i got tired of finding sources for everything, so you’ll just have to trust me, i’m an expert on both subjects.

cas=scully

cas/scully's faith in god vs dean/mulder being non-believers (but believing in the other) (spn) (txf)

cas being the healer, scully being a doctor (spn) (txf)

cas is supposed to guard the michael sword but falls in love vs scully sent to debunk the x-files but falls in love (spn) (txf)

cas and scully are both immortal (spn) (txf) (also)

cas/scully's families hate dean/mulder (spn) (txf)

cas/scully coming to believe in humanity/the paranormal (spn) (txf)

i'm an angel vs i'm a medical doctor (spn doesn’t have a compilation) (txf)

they’re not like... the best drivers

hello dean vs mulder it’s me (spn) (txf)

dean=mulder

dean/mulder's fucked up fathers (spn) (txf)

dean/mulder's eldest child syndrome and their unhealthy need to protect their younger sibling (spn) (txf)

dean/mulder being the best in their respective fields (hunting and criminal profiling) and being well known for it

dean/mulder and their porn habits (spn) (txf)

no one has ever hated themselves the way dean and mulder hate themselves (spn) (txf)

dean and mulder both have issues with fire (spn) (txf)

both die, get buried, and then come back

sunflower seeds vs pie

also they both hate nazis (spn) (txf)

yellow fever vs war of the coprophages (spn) (txf)

ship parallels

blue and green eyes (hazel is close enough)

for some reason theres a pizza man parallel? (spn) (pt 2) (txf) (pt 2)

mulder/krycek vs dean/crowley (spn) (txf) (also)

cas/hannah vs scully/pendrell (poor hannah and pendrell never stood a chance... and died)

also cas/scully get laid ONE TIME (april/ed jerse) and they almost die because of it and then never do it again (spn) (txf)

vs dean/mulder having plenty of love interests/hookups

cas/scully have never done anything wrong ever

dean/mulder... sigh... i love them... but they've made some questionable decisions (i'm looking at you mulder: fucking the vampire THE EP AFTER SCULLY'S ABDUCTION AND WHILE WEARING HER CROSS and dean, kicking cas out and locking jack in the ma’lak box?? really guys?) (spn) (txf)

creators who think their relationship is platonic despite everyone with eyes saying otherwise (spn) (txf)

also the way that neither were ever written or intended to be romantic

the fandoms were split heavily between shippers and non shippers

they also both had to have scenes changed because they were being played too romantic

a kiss was cut from the episode memento mori and gillovny were always trying to hold hands (x)

jackles forever wanting to cradle misha's face and the cut i love you from the crypt scene (x)

just... gillovny vs cockles in general, i am not a real person shipper, HOWEVER they are both messy (spn) (txf)

their first meetings? iconic. chemistry? immaculate. dean/mulder are super defensive but tbh cas/scully fell in love at first sight (spn) (txf)

they also had no concept of personal space pretty much immediately (spn) (txf)

they have a baby (that has magic powers) together that they lose twice (jack dies and becomes god, william/jackson is adopted and then as far as they know he dies) (spn) (txf)

cas/scully also have a kind of kid (claire/emily) that dean/mulder are willing to co-parent regardless of the fact that they definitely aren't theirs (spn) (txf)

we get an i love you that still doesn't get taken seriously or make them canon (stuck in the middle (with you) and triangle) (spn) (txf)

dean keeping cas's trenchcoat vs mulder keeping scully's cross (spn) (txf)

they go absolutely batshit when the other is in danger or dies/is dying (spn) (txf)

they're also known and used by their enemies as each other's weaknesses (spn) (txf)

msr being mistaken as a couple vs every angel and demon cracking jokes about destiel being a couple (spn) (txf)

skinner and sam just off to the side looking frustrated while msr and destiel are having a couples moment (spn) (txf)

eating each others food (spn) (txf)

appreciating each others interests (spn) (and this one) (txf)

parallels except the roles are swapped

dreamland/small potatoes vs casifer, i just think scully/dean should have realized IMMEDIATELY (spn) (txf)

mulders fight the future speech vs cas's confession (spn) (txf)

they should have kissed and didn't

it almost ambiguously canonizes them both

AND THE SECRET TAPES, the most famous msr kiss isn't an actual canon kiss, it's a blooper of gillian and david making out in front of the camera (two different times) and it wasn't scripted it was literally just them messing around (x)

this is me manifesting jackles dropping the tapes and those tapes having the same energy

they just really love each other (spn) (txf)

non ship/general parallels

leyla harrison vs becky rosen being fandom stand ins (spn) (txf)

they were supposed to end on season 5

Good but bad (absolutely iconic) sci-fi shows

they both had two finales which both sucked

they shared soooo many cast and crew and both filmed in vancouver

they're such similar shows, motw/story episodes, the funny and serious episodes, dealing with the paranormal, they're basically siblings

also siblings in the way that they handle racism, misogyny and consent/rape/bodily autonomy

the supernatural book series vs the movie made about mulder and scully (spn) (txf)

mystery spot vs monday (spn) (txf)

tall tales vs bad blood (spn) (txf)

the benders vs home (spn) (txf)

why did both shows use live bees??? (spn) (txf)

the fbi's most wanted and the fbi's most unwanted (also everyone involved looks cute as fbi agents) (spn) (look how cute!) (txf) (cuties!!)

the syndicate vs heaven and the cigarette smoking man vs god

the bunker vs the basement office

every single side character on both shows deserved better!!! most of them literally didn't need to die!!! and i'm still angry!!!

the poor brothers adam milligan and charlie scully existing and then being literally forgotten about until the last season

the fandoms living for things cut from the scripts (spn) (txf)

team free will vs mulder, scully, and skinner

these ones are shippy, but more my opinion than factual

both pairs just keep getting traumatic events dumped on them for absolutely no reason

cas/scully both have major exasperated why do i love this man vibes

absolutely most iconic and slowest slow burn romances of all time and are just the longest games of will they/won't they, baiting, and were never INTENDED to be slow burns

they're always willing to die/kill for each other, however they WILL NOT talk about their feelings under any circumstances

in the field where i died, mulder says that he and scully have been around each other in past lives but never romantically and according to chuck, every other universe's castiel just pulled dean out of hell and listened to his orders

SO in these other lives/universes they were always linked to each other but only in this life/universe do they fall in love

the last seasons really fuck up my favorite characters

dean should not be that shitty to jack OR cas for that matter

and mulder shouldn't have left scully and william (and dearest dana?? DANA?)

and, controversial opinion, but cas/scully could do so much better and deserve so much better but dean/mulder... it's the best they'll ever get

HOWEVER, i feel like their love is MORE powerful BECAUSE cas/scully could do better but they don't want better or normal they want dean/mulder and they will fight to the death for it, it's not the easy choice, it's just what they want

and i say this with all the love in the world for both dean and mulder, but cas could have just followed his orders and returned to heaven like every other version of himself did. scully could have easily found a normal man to settle down and have 2.5 kids with. dean was always going to be stuck in chuck's plans, and mulder absolutely could not just go find a wife to settle down with.

cas/scully put up with SO MUCH SHIT from dean/mulder, while being ALWAYS FAITHFUL to them, it was never the easy option to love these men and stay by their sides, it was hard and they worked for it!!!

they’re both the greatest love story ever told, they tied

#spn #supernatural #destiel #deancas #txf #The X-Files #x files #msr #oops i guess the indented bullets don't work on mobile #anyway #i really spent two days doing this #making this made me really have to confront what is canon and what is fanon deeply ingrained in my mind #ALSO every msr moment is perfect when imagined as destiel #and vice versa #if i were smarter i'd write actual meta about this cause it was actually super interesting

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nicnacsnonsense · 3 years ago

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Finally got to the infamous 15x18 “Cas confessed his gay love for Dean and gets dragged into super hell” scene and, hmmmmmm… that sure did happen, huh? Thoughts:

It’s no wonder everyone was making fun of Dean’s dumb fucking constipated face immediately after it aired. Knowing now that the “y yo a ti” was cut, it’s very obvious that the original English version was recut to remove Dean’s original reaction to Cas’s confession and that the b-roll shot of Dean they tried to substitute instead was painfully unnatural and misplaced.

I’m pretty skeptical that Cas could have actually been feeling a true moment of happiness just then given everything else going on, but ultimately willing to let it go on the grounds that both Cas and the Empty were willing to fudge the rules a little bit to make it work.

I’m less willing to let go of the fact that Cas has apparently been walking around convinced that he could never get a moment of true happiness because the only thing he wants is a reciprocal romantic relationship with Dean. Sir, your son, the one whose very existence restored your faith in the possibility of a good and kind world, CAME BACK TO LIFE and REGAINED HIS DESTROYED SOUL earlier this season. But I guess if Dean doesn’t like you back, then who gives a fuck, I guess.

Castiel telling Dean he loves him because Dean isn’t driven by anger and is the most selfless loving human being he will ever know in the same season where Dean: is so consumed by rage and a need to kill Chuck that he nearly shoots Sam, implicitly agrees that he will only be able to forgive Jack for Mary’s death if Jack dies in a heroic sacrifice, says with his whole chest that Jack isn’t family, and is so angry at Cas that he refuses to forgive him for Mary’s death when Cas hadn’t even really done anything wrong, not to mention the season 14 finale and all the angry, hateful things directed at Jack then. So yeah, Cas telling Dean how loving and not anger-driven he is on the tail of all of that sure was a choice.

So, still two episode left to go, but I think at this point we can safely say I am not on Team Destiel. I am on Team Jack & Castiel (& Sam, if Sam can get his act together. Also Team Jody & the Girl Squad, but that’s a separate thing).

#supernatural #15x18 despair #castiel #jack kline #dean winchester

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rantaire · 4 years ago

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i’ve watched approximately 4 episodes of supernatural but when you live on tumblr for years you are always spn-adjacent. we have no choice but to absorb it by osmosis because it’s just that massive. i feel like i know a lot about the show from fandom, and many of my fandom friends were in it at some point. i also work in entertainment media so i’ve been tracking all the updates in its final year. and i have to say that even after years of disappointments from movies and tv, this one seems particularly egregious?

here’s the thing. there’s so often a divide between the fever-dream of shipping and what we actually get in canon. and we know this. we’re not stupid, or gullible. people in fandom engage with the narrative on a level most critics could never dream.

even though many of us recognize that our beloved ships from giant properties won’t go canon because they are embedded in giant global blockbusters created by megacorporations, in recent years there seems to also be a trend of bad endings that not only work to crush these ships but make for awful storytelling and act dismissive of their own canon. and I’m tired of it.

maybe steve/bucky would never happen, but steve abandoning his traumatized best friend that he’d fought actual wars for in order to go back in time for a woman who moved on with her life without him? crap. star wars not even attempting finnpoe despite the actors’ encouragement, and giving poe a random half-assed love interest because, oh look, a girl? we can be angry about these things, and we can and should demand better and broader representation. if nothing else, at least tell a better story.

why spn’s finale feels so unsettling to me as a non-fan is that even i came to believe the tide might be turning, just a little bit. fandom is more mainstream and recognized than ever. our ships and our transformative works are discussed in big media outlets. actors and creatives acknowledge fic and retweet fanart. actors and creatives acknowledge how vital it is for people to see themselves reflected and represented in media. and it seemed to me, as a sideline observer, that supernatural appreciated its fanbase and understood how important dean and castiel’s relationship was, and how beloved castiel was as a character on his own. to have him not appear in the last episode at all is unconscionable to me, and i have never seen him in an episode! this is how much impact the character had that’s filtered down.

i watched the reactions a few weeks ago of mixed euphoria and dismay after castiel’s love confession and subsequent disappearance into “super hell.” that didn’t seem great, message-wise, but it was a step that felt significant, it meant a lot to many people, and it probably would not have happened without fandom and their tireless cheerleading and enthusiasm. it seemed like maybe they were really building to something.

and so even though i knew in my dead withered critic’s heart of hearts that we wouldn’t be getting a destiel kiss, i thought that spn might be brave enough to give their fans a final gift—a thanks for everything. have dean and cas drive off in that damned car whose name i know because i live on tumblr. end with them smiling at each other. something. i know the pandemic came into play, but other actors appeared, and even castiel’s voice could have been literally phoned in.

instead, from the anger and pain and incredulous memes i’m seeing from people across social media, it appears that what the show delivered was an ending so unfitting it was like a parody of an end. they threw the baby out with the bathwater. it’s incredibly disappointing, and it feels cowardly to me. you don’t have to make a ship canon just to appease fandom. but your fans deserve a better story for their characters after fifteen years.

spn was uniquely positioned because it’s old as balls. most of the people still watching have seen it all and would have been up for anything good. the creatives could have done pretty much whatever they wanted. this isn’t a case of disney or international censors breathing down their neck. instead, they appear to have taken the easy way out of a lackluster finale written by folks who probably high-fived themselves for poignancy and half-assed twists and got paid more money than any of us will ever see for it. that’s boring, and it’s passé, and it didn’t have to be this way.

sometimes a property like she-ra can swoop in and save the day by delivering what fans want most. but she-ra was also made by people who came out of and understood fandom culture and just how much representation means to people. how much emotional investment and time and energy we’ve put into characters and their lives. why they matter. and it should stand as an example of what to do next.

if there’s a takeaway for all of this, it’s that we can’t and shouldn’t trust “mainstream” productions to do anything that we want in terms of representation. even if they’re uniquely positioned. even if they tease. even if they say they understand. even if they say they’ll do better next time. they’ll keep throwing pieces of bones, but they will almost always keep disappointing us. and they’re not even creating good art along the way. i know a dozen spn fic writers who could’ve written a vastly better ending to the show and i’m sure there are thousands.

we need to create the stories we want to see. in fic and fanart and transformative works, yes, but also (and i say this to myself as well), write that book. write that script. draw your graphic novel. film a movie in your backyard tomorrow because it sounds like anything we produce right now will be more inspired and more important to each other than the scraps we get from distant studios who are only vaguely aware that we’re alive and buying their merchandise. and i want to buy your books, watch your scripts, frame your art. i want to be able to invest in the stories we want to see told.

i love what we make for each other, and we should keep doing that, more furiously than ever. and if you want to, if you dream of it, you should push to create on a broader scale. you already know that you’re a better creative than a lot of people who are generating the “hits.” i can’t wait to see what you make. and fuck supernatural’s finale.

#thinking thoughts #supernatural

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bre95611 · 4 years ago

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HI! I’m finally rewatching 15x17 so I’m doing an in-depth(ish?) super stoned commentary! Hooray!

Before I get into it, I just really have to say, god I love this season so so so much. The writing has just been beautiful, and it has me EMOTIONAL af. Anyway. Here we go!

I always like looking at the Then/Now scenes. I feel they can ring some really important storywide context to the show. A great example of this is the Pizza Man montage. This episode it starts with the conversation from a few episodes back with Dean and Sam discussing Jack killing God.

I’ve found the Dean/Amara relationship very interesting. After how it was played up in the 15x15 Gimme Shelter, always from Dean’s perspective in a joking manner. I believe it was @verobatto-angelxhunter that discussed the Big Married Energy it gave off, Dean teasing Castiel about a woman from his past. Season 11, as the beginning of the Dabb era, has been calling my name for a rewatch lately, especially with Amara being brought back. Its always been established that the connection Dean and Amara have was not something Dean liked. It wasn’t actual attraction. I’ll talk more about this later.

I have made some random posts here and there talking about the symmetry in endings between Season 11 and Season 15, I will also dig into this more later.

Saw a post about the amount of times “world” is said, want to keep track of that. I know there is a heavy Destiel attachment, and the second time it is said is during the Then sequence, Chuck’s dialogue from the episode with the tvs, talking about how its time to clear the board. (Want to look into Chess mentions this season, maybe even Dabb era as a whole? Because obviously there’s been a game going on at the cosmic level for quite some time). It doesn’t show the scene where Dean and Cas in the kitchen comes up on the tv where Chuck calls them “the world”. but it does have that section of dialogue as t screens are being shown, bringing that to mind.

Then we have Meg 2.0 as The Shadow, Cas is confused why he is being harmed since they’re on the same side. The Shadow makes their loyalty known. Keep this in mind. Will touch on this later as well.

Shit this is a lot for the episode not even starting yet. Below the cut for more!

God Amara is a QUEEN and I love her SO MUCH.

Sam tells Cas to “just get home” cause the Bunker is his FUCKING HOME

One thing I’ve seen brought up a lot is how Dean is always very action focused. Solve the problem at hand, “cross that bridge when we get to it” type of mentality. His plans always revolve around that. Cas and Sam are always very focused on there being another way, how there is always another way, especially when one oftheir lives are at stake. Sam calls him out. Sam wouldn’t care if Dean was saying that all the time if it were actually true, wouldn’t wonder if he ever got tired of saying it if they did only ever have one choice. TFW always subverts the problem at hand. Last season, their only shot of beating Michael was the Malak Box. Season 11 was soul bomb Dean, 13 was Dean saying yes to Michael. Ya’ll see a theme yet? Dean loves to sacrifice himself. Sam’s done the same exact thing, closing the Hell gates, letting out Lucifer. Cas’s whole thing in Season 6? They’ve all done the same things. over and over. Hamster wheel. Think of what made all those endings obsolete? What made them find another way, huh?

Fuck that paragraph went somewhere I wasn’t originally taking it, but still a good take IMHO.

I’m loving the SUITS!

I really hope that Amara is not gone. I know I’ve seen some stuff that talks about why that has to have been her last episode, but whatever. Imma still dream. And I really might have to just write a fix-it fic after the finale about Aunt Amara and Jack hanging out.

I just noticed world again (Dean to Amara: saving the whole world’s ass)

“You and I will always help each other.” That look on Dean’s face when she said that. Not the face of someone enjoying being flirted with by and “ex-flame” or whatever the hell

Saw a post about the generational family story that was being told (I believe it was @occamshipper) that basically has Sam is to Jack as Dean was to Sam growing up (Dean is John and Cas is Mary, super awesome read, will try to find and link in a bit). This whole family arc is about breaking the toxic circle, being a better parent than your parents, found family kinda things. So how has Dean reacted to Sam in these situations? Most recently, I think, is season 8, with the Trials. Sam was sacrificing himself, he knew that, he was okay with it. Sam was suicidal by the end of it, and Dean does what he normally does with Sam and keeps him from finishing the trials, and season 9 starts with Dean completely taking away his autonomy again, allowing Gadreel to possess him. Dean was angry, he was disappointed, he acted like Dean, and that is the kind of treatment he gets from his “big brother” father figure. But Sam breaks through his treatment, tells Jack he is brave and validates him, and doesn’t try and take away his FREE WILL.

Sam continues the path he started on when he told Dean to stop as he continuously made excuses/explained why he had kept things from Sam about Jack. He grows!! I love to see it!! He does NOT give up his FREE WILL. Guys I’m loving it. These boys are actively making HARD decisions and we are seeing growth in real time. TFW in every form has...not really lived up to its name? Sure, the world gets free will, but the boys never do. And not just in situations like they’re told they can’t do something. I’m talking constant violations of each other’s bodily autonomy. Dean all the time with Sam, Cas when he takes down the Hell wall from Sam’s mind, honestly....mostly its Sam having it violated. But the other guys have to stop fucking with it. They all need a variation. Dean needs the Free Will to stop being his father’s soldier, to live his true non performative life. Cas needs to be free of his self doubt. Permission to be happy, not happy in and of itself. Jack needs Free Will to be a fucking toddler.....

Sam SEES it dude, he knows something isn’t right, and he’s the one that figured it out like, every other time this season, too. Jesus. Dean is so desparately caught up in wanting to get the hell OUT of the hamster wheel, he’s too blind to see how deep into it he is. The first plan ANYONE gives him, he goes with it. He’s literally followed Billie’s plan because of one of her books before, and what happened? Cas and Sam brought him back from sacrificing himself.

I’ve really enjoyed how much Sam and Dean are fighting, honestly. Like, my spec for a while now has been that the brothers are going their seperate ways at the end of all this, the only way to satisfyingly bring an impactful end to their toxic codependency that they’ve been chipping away at for the last few seasons.

Guys I’m suuuuuuuper baked,

Dean says “Someone’s gotta be the grownup here” talking to Sam about taking Jack to do the final ritual. Dean is fully his father, talking to the “older brother” Sam protecting the “special child” Jack. Dean is not breaking the cycle established by his father, going mad with rage over his circumstances

Jesus Christ the LOOK ON SAM’S FACE when Dean says Jack’s not family. I’m dead. He looks so broken.

That line though is.....hm. All through season 14 and 15, its been established that Jack is family, their kid. When Lily Sunder comes back to help get his soul, Dean makes comments about not making them go through what she did with her daughter, and again to Belphegor in 15 when asked who he was (after a fight between Dean and Cas no less, calls him “our kid”). So this is how far Dean has spiralled? This is how he is choosing to try and deal with knowing Jack will die? Denial of his importance?

“He’s not like you. He’s not like Cas.” Dean feels he holds a different relationship with Cas than he does with Sam. Just...sayin....

Jared’s acting is......truly just phnomenal.

Man, i feel like the music is off? and it makes me think its intentional, cause Becky says something about how there’s no classic rock? So foreshadowing? nah.

This really does feel like....the last real Sam and Cas interaction. It is heart breaking really.

Alright, I’m posting this now......cause I literally just got to the first commercial break.... So

This is pt 1 I guess.

#spn 15x17 spoilers #spn 15 spoilers #spn spec #spn meta #my meta #my spec

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okpeachwa · 4 years ago

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Destiel Theories/Thoughts/Shaky Predictions/Hopes (Trying For Positivity) Part 2

Impala -

This has nothing to do with Destiel, but I am duty-bound to point out:

S15E19 did you the dirtiest, Baby. You deserved a substantial spotlight in that five minute long memory montage. You are just as much a character as any bi-pedal on the show!!

I will riot if Baby is snubbed again in the last episode.

Castiel -

If Cas does get spit out of the Empty, would he avoid Dean? At least for a little bit? I mean I’d be a ball of anxiety if I just confessed and then got dragged to Hell 2.0 before my SO could reply. Even if I was the happiest I’ve ever been.

That is, unless Dean drags Cas’ ass out of there himself, then there’s no avoiding. And it would round out their stories! Cas saved Dean (from hell but also in episode 18 by telling him what a wonderful loving person he is). And then Dean saved Cas (from the Empty but also from living his life as a mindless angel puppet).

Sam -

Eileen has to come back because parallels.

Dean -

I’m not getting my hopes high for any sort of kiss. For me, I don’t really need it. And I think Dean is so emotionally constipated unsure how to express himself that it would be strange to see. I would be content with a good ole Dean monologue of emotion and a forehead touch.

Chuck -

Like other people have already said before me, I’m thinking that Chuck still had control over what happened up until Jack hoovered up his powers.

But I don’t think God really is a big bad. I mean he is, but he isn’t. Let me explain:

Way back in S5E22 and we got the beautiful narration about all the important things. The little things that made the Sam and Dean human. (That whole episode still gives me goosebumps).

Remember how proud Chuck seemed of them and their Impala?

Now think about S13E1 when Dean prayed to Chuck to bring Cas back from the dead. My heart broke watching Dean cry and then smash up his hand on that sign. What if God heard him? What if he already knew that he never gave the Winchester’s the end that they deserved? Because it wasn't time. Not until he could show them the truth about themselves and truly fix all the hurts that had been done that brought them to Stull Cemetery for the epic showdown?

What if the “show” truly did end in season five? The boys passed their test. And now they weren’t just a means to an end or entertainment any longer. They were people. Heroes. The best of humanity. And he planned on rewarding that.

In S15E4 with Becky, Chuck (in super evil mode) talked about the need for a villain. Every good story needs one, right?

My theory (and this one I’m most shaky on) is that Chuck turned himself into the BBEG to give one final thank you to the Winchesters that saved the world(s) he created over and over again.

He knew this was how it was all going to go. Everything. He’s omnipotent. He’s God. It was always the plan. It was always the Winchesters. And when Jack absorbed Amara and Chuck’s powers, I think maybe he understood that about his Grandpa.

Jack, Sam, Dean and Castiel all became what God always hoped for for humanity. They believed in what was most important: family & love. Now they could truly be free.

“No doubt - endings are hard. But then again...nothing ever really ends, does it?”

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk. I needed to get it out before it made me crazy! Would love to hear from you if you have your own theories!

15x20 is on the horizon! Stay positive beautiful clowns! Let’s gooooooo~!

#destiel #justiceforbaby #notjustanimpala #babyisfamily #positivethoughts #supernatural #clown #manifest

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starnatural0667 · 4 years ago

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Originally, I wasn’t planning on making a post because I didn’t think it was needed and I have college work to do, but I’m seeing so many people calling the destiel canon scene homophobic and I’m really confused.

How exactly does that incredible and dramatically sad exposition of true love come off as homophobic?? I genuinely need someone to explain because I can’t decipher what so many of y’all are getting at.

Why are so many attacking Dean?! Like, why? For those who have watched the show for years now or say Dean is their favourite character and are complaining about him during that scene: sit the bloody hell down. I address you prominently because you should know better.

Did you really think Dean, expert hunter, master of hiding and repressing emotions from everyone he knows, years of abuse from his father, sacrificial volunteer number 1, and fucking stone wall of blocking intense and highly emotional values, would collapse dramatically into a fit of love, and confess to Cas his undying admiration for him in the span of, what, a minute, whilst the empty is literally coming for Cas and Billie has just broken through the door?

Tell what about that makes sense. From the standpoint of looking at Deans character over years of television history, why are (from who I’ve seen on the destiel tag) the majority of people, or supposed “fans” saying that the writing and Dean’s character came off as homophobic?

Also, the whole Cas getting dragged away to the empty or, “Super Hell” as so many people are calling it, after confessing his love to Dean getting interpreted as being homophobic is also, simply ridiculous.

I wasn’t aware you people wanted Cas to sprout butterfly wings and disappear in a whirlwind of sparkles to a magical land where he gets to live happily coming from Supernatural, and what we’ve already seen canonically of the Empty. Of course it was going to be horrific! Of course it was going to be sad and distressing to so many after getting a canon confirmation of destiel. It was supposed to be like that! It’s not supposed be fair or happy! In the current situation our characters are in, they aren’t allowed to be happy or get their way. That’s just unfortunately the side effect that comes with watching Supernatural.

We just lost Cas. Castiel. A character we’ve known for so many years and seasons (I’m holding out hope he’s going to be in the finale, but lets not tempt fate since we know she doesn’t like to be messed with). This is a big moment. if we assume he doesn’t come back to the show, this is his finale scene. We’re all meant to be sobbing and disappointed that he has to go. But to call this scene homophobic and to berate Misha and Jensen over their acting choices, Rich’s directing, and Beren’s writing is childish, stupid, and, quite frankly, disappointing to see.

I really feel for the cast and crew of Supernatural when they say there’s no pleasing all the fans. Destiel shippers just got confirmation and the most destiel scene ever, and somehow are still shitting on it. Dabb, the actors, and the writers just did something that og destiel fans probably never thought would happen, let alone, myself and many I know. Yet, instead of seeing happy faces and people finding peace with this goddamned ship on the destiel tag, I’m seeing people making fun of and actually being mad at the writers, which I personally think is sad.

Now, I don’t want to say that people’s opinions and frustrations aren’t valid or allowed, because chuck knows anything is allowed on this site, but I do think calling this scene homophobic and being disrespectful towards to the writers and actors pushes it a little past poking fun. So thanks to whoever read this massive thing I didn’t intend to write (I was thinking more a paragraph), If anyone want to offer their opinion or view go for it, I’m open to listening.

#Destiel #destiel is canon #spn 15x18 #Thank you Robert berens #Jensen ackles #Misha Colins #supernatural #despair #spn despair #spn #spn meta #deep dive into despair

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starryvioletnight · 4 years ago

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Take it From the Top

Summary: A destiel fix-it fic/fluff piece. Not really one or the other. Death and Dean talk about Dean taking his ring to put Lucifer away. Death has other matters to discuss. Enjoy~

You raised your little brother for love,

you fought for this world for love,

that is who you are.

You’re the most caring man on earth,

you are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know.

Ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of hell,

knowing you has changed me.

Because you cared, I cared.

I cared about you,

I cared about Sam,

I cared about Jack.

I cared about the whole world, because of you.

You changed me Dean.

...Why does this sound like a goodbye?

Because it is.

I love you.

Don’t do this Cas.

Goodbye, Dean.

Dean sputtered a breath as he looked up at the pale, sunken face of the Horseman. All he’d asked for was his ring, to open Lucifer’s cell and send him back down to hell, so the world wouldn’t end and they could all keep on living. He hadn’t noticed that time had stopped around them, that the world seemed too crisp.

“What the hell was that?” He rasped. He reached for the water, but the cup wouldn’t move. Everything was permanently frozen in its place. “I need a drink, god damn it.”

“Sorry, but if I allow one thing to move, then Chuck will be able to move. I’d rather avoid that if I could.” He folded his fingers together on the table top, and watched Dean with harrowing eyes. “I’m tired of bouncing from world to world just because he gets tired of his toys and wants to start again. I especially don’t like that you two meatheads somehow end up killing me in this entire mess you two make. Now I’m offering you a one time deal, and you’d best take it.”

Dean wasn’t listening the closest. He was staring at the water. He snapped his head up and looked at Death. “Lay it on me.”

“You’re going to take my ring. You’re going to put Lucifer away. You’re going to think Sam is dead, and you’re going to forget about Adam.”

“But-!”

“You will, Dean Winchester.” He says, his tone a warning. “You’re going to play out all that I just showed you, up until you get that bloody mark on your arm. When Abaddon rears her head, and you need a way to kill her, I will craft you a weapon that can do the trick.”

“But what if Sam or Cas get suspicious that you’re helping us.”

“Think of something.” He says dully. “And be prepared to not see your mother again, that will not happen because Amara is never going to get free. And once Chuck has served his purpose, I will reap him myself.” His eyes never wavered from Dean’s.

“Do we… really have to go through all that pain and suffering? Why can’t we fix this all now and gank the SOB?” He frowned. “What’s the point?”

“There’s certain things that have to happen. Fixed points in time.” He told him calmly. “But in the end, you will all be alive and well and get your ‘happily ever after’.” He rolled his eyes and stood up. “Don’t do anything stupid with this knowledge, Dean. If Chuck finds out either one of us is on to him, we could create a chain reaction that would see the end of your reality in a blink of an eye.”

Dean frowned. Frustrated, a little exasperated, but all the same he nodded. “Fine. Just tell me when we’re all safe, okay?”

“Agreed.” Death took off his ring and handed it to the elder Winchester. “Don’t muck it up. I like the food here.”

Dante snorted and shook his head. He took the ring and stared at it, the weight of the future hanging on his shoulders. He couldn’t believe all he was going to allow to happen.

The bunker was empty. Sam had taken Jack out for the night. The world had become… mostly calm. They still hunted demons, and monsters. Dean didn’t think that’d ever change. But so much of the other stuff had. No more apocalyptic threats. Death had sworn it. It was done, taken care of. All of it.

Dean walked to the library and sat down. He propped his feet up and pulled out his phone. He scrolled down to Cas’ number. He swallowed down a lump in his throat. He called the number.

“Hello Dean.” Cas answered. Same as always. Same old Cas.

“Hey, Cas. I uh, had a question to ask you. Do you got a minute?” He asked, and scratched the back of his head.

“I suppose.” Dean heard some shuffling, and then a car door shut. “What is on your mind?”

“What do you think would make you happiest in the world?” He blurted. “Like, if your life depended on you being happy, what would it be?”

There was a quiet moment. “Is something wrong? Are you okay?” Cas asked. “If someone is there, let me know someway.”

“No, no Cas I’m not being held against my will. I doubt a killer would let me phone a friend in that situation anyway.” He said. “I’m just… curious.”

“Well,” Cas took a moment to think. “I think being with you, Jack and Sam would do it. All of us, having a drink or, watching cartoons. Something relaxing, fun.”

“Yeah?” Dean picked at his jeans as he listened. “All four of us, huh?”

“Yes, why?” Again, Cas’ worry came back.

Dean rolled his eyes. “I’m serious when I say I’m not captured. This ain’t a life or death situation.” Not really, anyway. But it did feel like it. “Cas.. how do you feel… about me?”

“Close? We have known each other a long, long time. Calling us anything less than friends would be a disservice to what we have been through.”

Dean paused and took a shaky breath. “Do you think… happiness is… just being? Do you think you need to have happiness, or can you just, be happy, ya know?”

Another, long pause. “Dean, this feels like a goodbye of some kind. And I do not like it.”

Dean can’t help but laugh. Yeah, yeah it did sound like a goodbye, because that’s what it was. It had been a goodbye, one that had haunted Dean for so many goddamned years before now. And now, he could finally say it. He had had years to prepare for this moment. And fuck he hadn’t prepared a single line.

“How quickly can you be home, Cas?”

“Maybe an hour?”

“Try to speed. I want to see you.”

Time seemed to drag on, as Dean paced the bunker in anticipation for what was coming. Castiel was going to be there any moment, and he wasn’t ready. Years of knowing this was coming, and he wasn’t ready. Unbelievable. He paced the halls and rooms, trying to rehearse cheesy lines that fell flat the moment they hit the air. What could he say? What would summarize years of unrequited pining, on both ends?

The door opened and Dean jolted, before he hid behind a pillar.

“Dean?” The angel’s voice echoed in the mostly empty room. “Dean I’m here… what did you need?”

He’d always be there when Dean called. He knew that. He just had to say it. He had to make the first move. He stepped out from behind the pillar. “Hey Cas.”

“Why were you hidden?” Cas did that cute little head tilt and Dean swallowed down the lump in his throat. “Are you okay?”

Dean stepped forward until they were closer. Not super close. Maybe too close? Dean couldn’t tell. “Cas, if I had mere moments to live, and the only thing that would save me was thinking of the happiest thing I could…” He paused and took a deep breath. “I would think of telling you that you are one of the most important people in my life. You’ve helped Sam and I again, and again, and again. You’ve always tried to do the right thing-”

“Even when it was the wrong thing.” Cas chimed in. And Dean laughed.

“Even when it was the wrong thing. But you always tried to do better. Be better, for me and Sam, and now Jack. And… I really admire that about you. I think it’s one of your best qualities.”

“It really started with you.” Cas nodded. “You taught me a lot, over my years on earth. Team free will, and all that.” He smiled and shrugged. Like he was trying to joke and be serious at the same time. He wasn’t good at that, and Dean would have to tell him later.

“Well uh, good to hear, I guess.” He was so fucking nervous. “Cas… I have something really important to tell you, okay?”

Castiel nodded.

Dean took a very deep breath, pursed his lips, and then mumbled, “I love you man.”

“Dean?” Cas looked confused.

“I said I love you!”

His voice echoed in the empty bunker, and Cas blinked. So they stood there, and Dean shifted on his feet. They both kinda looked around, before Cas finally cleared his throat. “I love you too, Dean.”

Dean whipped his head to make eye contact with him. “Yeah? Like, for real?”

“Yes.” Castiel nodded.

“Not like, not as bros.”

“No.”

“Or as friends? Or like-”

Cas grabbed Dean and pulled him down. He kissed him. And Dean kissed back, and his eyes were closing and the world was spinning as he became light headed. His heart raced and his brain screamed, this is so, so right. This is how it was supposed to end. It had to have been.

Cas broke the kiss first, both taking half a second to catch their breath before Dean kissed him again, and gripped the lapels of his trench coat, Cas’ hands moving down his body to wrap around his middle. Nothing else mattered, nothing but this.

Dean eventually, after a few minutes at least, broke the kiss and panted shallowly, his body weak. Then, he laughed a little, and hugged Cas tight, who hugged back immediately. “You gotta practice kissing, man.” Dean teased.

“Thank god I have someone to practice with.” Cas chuckled. “Also, I doubt my kissing was that bad. I have had few complaints.”

“Was the pizza man a good teacher?” Dean asked cheekily, remembering way back when.

“I’d like to think so.”

“It wasn’t terrible, I’ll give you that.” Dean pecked his lips one more time. “I can’t believe-”

Cas pecked his lips back, cutting him off. “I know. It’s liberating. But there’s something-”

Dean cut him off with a kiss. “What? What could possibly be on your mind?”

Another quick peck. “How do we tell Sam and Jack?”

Dean paused. He looked away a moment, and pursed his lips in mock thought. “Honestly? I don’t give a damn.”

Cas laughed. The two moved to the couch, never breaking contact. Once seated, Cas climbed onto Dean’s lap and cuddled up to him, the Winchester holding his angel closely. Dean ended up falling asleep like that, and Cas would never dream of waking him.

#destiel #supernatural fanfiction #castiel fanfiction #dean fanfiction #nancy's writings #i hated that episode #bury your gays is the worst trope #this time dean confesses

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thatholoperson · 4 years ago

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Ugh. I promised myself yesterday I wouldn’t get involved in that SPN discourse, but after that thousand anti-SPN post (which focused entirely on the wrong thing imo), it’s gonna bother me if I don’t.

So. Let’s do this. (You: Great, an other rant about SPN...)

First, about Dean. I mean... Yeah, I disagree with roughly 50% of what that guy does at any given moment. He has anger issues, drinking issues, his father was definitely violent, he talks before he thinks and is a wreck. He is emotionally stunted and never learned how to express his emotions in an healthy way.

But being, well, emotionally stunted myself (I can only express myself here, because i have time to think about it and you know nothing about me), I can tell you that his reaction is pretty much how I would have reacted. (You: Wow, you’re a dick)

I mean, What did you seriously expect of the guy? (You: for Dean to fall on his knees sobbing and saying he loves him back?). He doesn’t say anything because he is still processing what happened. Because that guy may never have fathom the idea of his best friend being in love with him (let’s not forget about the “emotionally stunted” part).

(You: Come on, everyone told him). You’re right, my amazing friend I made up in my mind ! Everyone does tell him “He likes you” “The one with the dirty trench coat who’s in love with you” “He was your boyfriend first”. Yes, everyone did tell him ! But first, it was about feelings, and he is not exactly emotionally intelligent. And second. The people who tell him that are either villains or antagonist characters ! He doesn’t trust anyone, how could he have trusted them?? It would have been different if Charlie or Sam would have been like “Dude, we need to talk about Castiel”. They didn’t (obviously) and Dean’s reaction is a “WTF is happening?” If they had time to talk about it and process it, it would have been different (we’ll see how Dean reacts in the next eps.)

(BTW, Death Bed confession is a dick move, Cas. And on that subject, two slightly smaller things that bothered me. I read the script of the thing (between two “Putin resigned because of Destiel” posts) and Cas doesn’t need him to say anything or something like that? Are you guys messing with me right now? No matter how much one can say that it doesn’t matter, that it’s “without hope or agenda” (also a dick move, Rick Grimes !!), there’s always gonna be a small part of that person who wants to hear it back, so f...[explicit content that i’m gonna write]... off. That maybe what stings with the whole thing “Hey, he poured his heart out to you, but don’t worry, he doesn’t need you to say anything, you’re safe and you can stay straight (You: You’re overreacting, stay on course, you assbutt). Ok, other thing, if it’s the end of Castiel, it sucks and whether or not he was right when he said that he knows he can’t have Dean, it... stings and sucks.)

Second, the message of the whole thing. And yeah, I kinda have to agree there. Killing a fan-favorite character (wait, any character), mere seconds after he expressed romantic feelings towards another man is... problematic, to say the least. Making him go to the “special hell”? Yeah, I know, the situation is a lot more nuanced than that (You: Yeah, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, I miss that show!), but stripped to its bare essentials, it’s “And don’t forget, kids, express your feelings towards someone of your own gender will send you straight to hell !!”

Now I know that most people watching SPN kinda grew up with the whole thing and know they are not exactly good with representation and queer characters. I think it barely phased some of them and I hope... I hope everyone is doing okay right now.

(You: OK... Where do we go from here?)

Well, I’m glad you asked, my petulant friend ! There is a way they can salvage this thing, but so far, I only see one way.

Dean has to save Cas from that super-duper-mega Hell. He can’t save himself or be saved by the power of the plot. Dean has to actively completely (fine, the others can help) save him. And it can’t be “You’re family, man” with a manly grabbing of the shoulder. It has to be explicitly canonically exclusively because Dean has romantic feelings for Cas. It can’t be “Oh, he doesn’t need to say it or express it”, nope, no more of that BS. It needs saying. It needs to make homophobes tremble and bow before the power of MLM love.

Gay love put Castiel in Hell, gay love better save him from it.

And if that doesn’t happen... Well, I’ll borrow my siblings’ pitchforks from their last expedition in GOT land, you’ll bring chips and we’ll have a party. (You: Yeah, that does sound like a plan!)

#supernatural #destiel #castiel #dean winchester #spn

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