#we love relapsing
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#dark post yet again#I wonder why I always do so much for others#and get mistreated in the return#obviously I can’t expect anyone to be nice to me#because I don’t deserve it#so funny when I think about being loved by someone else#like that’s hilarious#no one would love me#the highest I can expect is a little niceness maybe#that’s it#clearly I must be so awful if all I get in life is abuse#woop hopefully I’ll stop existing soon#all alone#we accept the love we think we deserve#so I don’t deserve any#what a waste of space I am#i wanna kms#seriously#it gets worse and worse#everyday is a fight#and I’m tired of fighting#ah I’m sh again#we love relapsing
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when the breakup was so bad that you find yourself making questionable hair changes as a coping mechanism
#ngl i'm kind of into emo Spock's fuckass bob I know it's weird but i'm into long hair and i feel that funky asymmetrical look#and i think we can all agree that authentically hairy grown-up Kirk is basically sex on a stick in that white shortsleeve shirt#not to mention disco Bones in his deep-V ABBA getup (Me and Kirk both: “Bones I need you. Badly”)#tmp hairy 70s getting the band back together looks i love you#day one of trying not to think about fucking that old man: Relapsed. Relapsed. Relapsed.#mcspirk#spock#bones mccoy#james t kirk#star trek tmp#spirk#k/s#kirk/spock#the premise#spones#mckirk
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Euphoria fans when they meet a real life addict that isn’t like their tv show

#true story#this chick I knew was a euphoria fan. treated me like shit when I relapsed#people love watching our suffering on tv and hearing our stories but when we do addict things it’s not okay..#still hold a resentment against her for that.
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thinking about the undersea again. can't wait for gillion "don't practice what you preach" tidestrider to see the elders again ESPECIALLY after being factory reset in the navy stronghold. can't wait for chip and jay, who KNOW what they did to him to some extent, to bring up everything he's told them (about being good enough for yourself, about standing up to authority figures, about doing what YOU think is right) only for him to keep making excuses for the elders. to keep defending them when they really, truly do not deserve it. can't wait for jay and chip to finally see him acting like the soldier the elders raised in full. to see him stonefaced and rigid, always at attention, hesitant to speak to the elders unless spoken to. to look in his eyes when the elders address him, and seeing only fear. can't wait fo-- *gets shot*
#i think we as a society dont talk abt gillions hypocrisy enough. anyway.#i think even if he HADNT sat in The Torture Chair hed still have this kind of mindset when meeting the elders again#hes always made excuses for them;; as recently as /ep 98/#but now its worse. bc now hes gone back to WANTING to be the perfect little soldier they made.#i think#after the tree#this relapse mightve happened anyway#not to this extent but. it wouldve happened eventually.#i love making myself emotional over things that Havent Happened Yet :)#jrwi riptide#jrwi#just roll with it#jrwi show#gillion tidestrider#jrwi gillion
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never make the mistake of looking at the comment sections on ft tiktok. some of these people have approximately 7 operating brain cells and i feel like part of my brain just regressed back to it’s embryonic state or something that’s how incorrigibly stupid these takes are
#fellow travelers#“hawk didn’t even love tim” can we be serious#this is exactly why i don’t use that app#usually. i relapse for like 3 days at a time every few months and then something like this completely repels me from it
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Gackt.


#gackt#malice mizer#malice mizer relapse???#yt recommending me some MM content in a loooong time and gosh I forget how hot Gackt is#his voice too ARGGHH#have you guys seen that video of him fishing on yhis jap show#he looks so good there#and he sounded so good too#also funny bc he was making some light dirty jokes abt the fishing rods and the girls were giggling so much like same here girlies u get it#we need to bring back pretty men dressed up as vampires and whatnot#anyways what I originally wanted to state is that he is so so gorgeous#sometimes his fits give twink but idc#we love our gothic twink with a lovely voice 🩷
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personally i could never get into the feral ford hcs, mostly because this is mr "focus on your intellect to literally stop feeling fear" we're talking about here
#(i do love the contrast with that line to w3 where he's barely able to aim the memory gun at stan tho)#i wonder if this was a hc that was thought of super early on when ford was introduced#i dont mind the stan memory relapse hcs but it feels pretty clear that its not canon at this point#super fun in fics tho! im fond of reading stories where its a thing#(one of the few ways to get stan to spill his secrets lmao)#feral ford is a bit too jarringly different for me to get into#plus judging from his reaction to tbob ford's reaction to high stress and paranoia is isolating himself and stewing in negative thoughts#(then again im constantly thinking of the fam being catlike in general lmao#mabel hissing and clawing during boyz crazy dkfdjfgkhflj)#but anyway both of those two hcs seem to come about from wanting there to be more of an impact#from the portal travels and the memory gun#...considering im mx 'you know how to improve this situation? *turns faves into monsters with little control over themselves*' i guess#it makes sense why im not that into that hc#(the latent 'well why dont we go further!!!!' jdajsdgsajd)
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I'M LATE TO THE PARTY, BUT- OLD MOON IS BACK!!! GOD, I MISSED THIS SARCASTIC ASS!!
I'm so happy to have him back!!! :D More so though, I'm really interested in his dynamic with everyone!
It's honestly really interesting to see everyone's reaction to him is!
Sun is hesitant, and obviously keeps him at arms length. He's testing the waters with little jabs.
Moon, on the other hand, is trying his best to be casual and welcoming, but he's painfully aware of the barrier between them!
Earth is awkward and unsure! She only ever heared about him from Nexus, the other two avoiding the topic. Nexus, on the other hand, had a habit of antagonising him!
Meanwhile, Moon is simply not used to having a sister! And he's alone in this. Lunar and Sun have known her for about a year now. Moon is the outcast, the person on the outside.
Lunar is an interesting case!! They have always been rather avoidant, and at times even dissmisive of Nexus, though they obviously care about him!
I always thought, that they may hold a bit of a grudge, or are unsure how to react to him, because that's not their big brother, not in the same way. That's not the same Moon, who accepted them with open arms, when things were rough with Eclipse. It's not the same Moon, who shared his mindscape with them.
And now it is.
They do seem very casual though, and we definitely need more time to see them interact together! One thing that is interesting, is their tone of voice. It feels a little more similar than how it used to be! Though I'm not sure, if it's an intentional thing, or if it's simply hard for EC to swap his voice between the two of them so fast!
Moon, in a similar light, seems pretty casual, if a little hesitant. He's very protective still!
Eclipse… OH GOD, ECLIPSE- THEIR BACK AND FORTH WAS SO INTERESTING-
"He would know" MOON STILL SEES HIMSELF IN ECLIPSE. HE STILL HATES HIM FOR IT-
ECLIPSE, ON THE OTHER HAND? HE'S TIRED, HE'S SO TIRED OF HATING- HE WON'T HATE ANYMORE, IF ONLY FOR HIS OWN SAKE- I'M GOING TO BE SICK/POS-
Also, Ruin has his fucking virus back- Dark Sun, WHAT THE FUCK-
-Stardust
I KNOWWWW OLD MOON HAS BEEN SUCH A WILDLY FASCINATING TURN OF EVENTS AND AN EVEN MORE INTRIGUING CHARACTER TO WATCH GET SETTLED INTO EVERYTHING RN !!!
There's so much he's not used to—Earth, Lunar's new body and powers, the house, etc etc—but the contrast with the familiar—Sun, Eclipse, the daycare, etc etc—that it creates this super interesting scenario where he's sort of stumbling around, figuring out how comfortable he can be in most scenarios, yk?
Like yesyesyes all ur points with how Moon interacts with them 1-on-1!!! I don't have any productive addition to that besides that its soso fun 2 me to see him getting along w/ everyone HDJSBD
AND YEHAYAUSGDHD THE ECLIPSE INTERACTION. EXPLODES!!!! The fact that even with Eclipse being a clone from someone who never even met Old Moon, he's still painstakingly Moon in ways that Moon himself recognizes. man. MAN!!!!! AND ECLIPSE JUST..... NOT HAVING THE ENERGY TO CARE ANYMORE YEAH. +1 million thoughts and feelings and emotions. forever.
AND RUIN. VAGUE FRANTIC HAND MOTIONS. this boy and being infected with viruses gd HSJABSJ
#asks#anon#stardust anon#I WILL SAY. although i love that old moon's been getting along and promising to be better thus far#we haven't seen him under stress yet.#THAT'S what made his worst qualities come out. stress and anger with unhealthy coping mechanisms!!!!#and especially bc he's been gone so long. the messy relationships n feelings might be overlooked in the moment bc lunar n sun r just like#holy shit!!!! you're alive!!!!!#but i am WAITING#FOR A RELAPSE YOUR HONOR. I AM WAITING FOR IT PATIENTLY AND WITH BIG EYES. PLEASE ABAJABAJSNS#sun and moon show#the sun and moon show#tsams#tsams spoilers#sams spoilers
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also i’m here for any one of you that is an addict and needs someone to go “i’m fucking scared and i don’t want to fuck up” because i’ve had to do that today too.
i’m not a sponsor or anything like that but i am an open ear if you need someone to go “i know, i know how you feel and i’m so proud of you and i love you”
i’m also here for those of you who have relapsed last night/today because you needed to stop feeling or because you needed to control how you were feeling. i love you and i will celebrate your day one with you when you are ready 💜
#tw addiction#i love you and i’m proud of you regardless of whether or not you stayed sober#if you relapsed it’s okay. we start again tomorrow. we start again together
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lays on the floor do you guys ever think about how in ResF Bulma falls for Vegeta's fake-out with Freeza and both she and Yamcha are worried about Vegeta's villain fake-out strategy in Champa and Beerus' mini tournament and how it's only been a couple of years since the Buu saga and how Vegeta straight up stopped using that strategy after that tournament
#i do#do you think he noticed it upset her twice in a row and was like 'oh I haven't earned the trust back yet i'll retire this strat'#'it's fun to scare people but i do not like my wife being scared we can put this one up on the shelf for emergencies only'#because like bulma can consciously trust him and I'm sure she does but one can still have The Fear if you've seen your spouse relapse befor#And he probably thinks it's very amusing but it is also almost certainly very not funny for her no matter how much she trusts him#and the next arc is Trunks and she's so worried about the way he left she ignored the PDA rules and squished him when she saw him alive#Because Geets determination can be self destructive when it comes to Bulma and Trunks and he killed himself to protect them once before#and knowing how connected they've been for so long some part of her probably Knew he would opt to stay behind and die like he was going to#And I love the idea that between those two events and all of the things Trunks tells him about Bulma during the GB arc Geets has to really#really be confronted with how loved he is -- and it's not that he wasn't aware before but knowing she even missed him at his worst#and loved him maybe even before she was pregnant -- means the cruel part of his mind can't make excuses for why she stayed with him#I also like to think that being confronted with the idea that Bulma is still scared for him getting his worst wires tripped#wouldn't be offensive to him. Knowing he's still got work to do if his wife is worried about those things happening to him again#is just proof that she loves him with his flaws and was still thinking about it and supporting his recovery when he didn't#even notice he was recovering -- which has always been true of her -- and now he has the chance to support her recovery in return#and being in a place where he can still put that work in to make her feel secure in his priorities is a privilege and a gift#and man I just really like how casually comfortably close they are in Super's manga I love them a lot they worked so hard#to make each other feel safe and secure for the past decade+ that it's Easy for them both now and they're SUCH a confident couple#and I am once again shaking the anime by the shoulders WHY didn't you give us that they are SO the team's Mom and Dad in the manga#until Goku riles Vegeta up -- then Piccolo is the team Dad. Bc Piccolo is the team Grandpa aksjda The Z-Fighter's locker room judge#dbtag#vegebul#putting the whole essay in the tags again oops#happy pride i am gay for a whole married couple
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Are the characters without an x on them going to have significant role in any of the stories ?
YEAH!
Well Bullet (the red guy in the bottom left corner) isn’t so much actively in Be Brave but he’s still technically canon to it. He’s a big part of the Flippy backstory that @ickyguts has written and im pretty much in love with it so it’s canon to me ^w^
Kyle the Mononykus and Splash (the lil mint colored Dino and the purple plesiosaur) are part of the overall Be Brave story but they are only alive during the Dino-Sore Days timeline. I mean…mass extinctions are pretty rough. But they were very close pals to Cro during those days and have had their own run ins with the trio before the meteor hit. You may see them in the main timeline but they will be fossils hehe
Nergal has a particular dislike for Kyle since he’s the one who gave Nergal his lip scar. ;)
Abigail, Lydia, and Aaron (the lil kid rat at the top, the blue girl rat and the yellow goat at the bottom right) are also significant to the story but they are only really around for the 300 year Colony. They did not survive past it. Lydia is John’s sister and Abigail’s mother. Aaron is Abigail’s father and Lydia’s husband. They were all important and active parts of John’s family.
There are other ocs too that are a part of this universe. We are always fleshing out the entire world and history and it’s constantly growing and taking shape, I’ll have to do an update on it soon. It’s become a HUGE thing and writing it in dms with your friends is one thing but making easily digestible content to present publicly is a whole ‘nother beast entirely. Slowly but surely <3
The interest and interactions that y’all show up here really does help give me that gas I need to work on it more so thank you! Even if I’m kinda garbage at responding in a timely manner…But it really does mean the world to me.
I’ll rethrow these up here for good measure!
Of course new characters and stories have been written and added since these were made but they still hold up.
#htf#happy tree friends#htf be brave#htf cursed idol#htf idol#Htf ocs#Htf god trio#loretime#of course there’s also the relapse and post relapse timelines#but we can get to that some other time#I love this story so much and how it’s been shaping up have I mentioned that?#I’m in project WIP hell but I’m loving every second of it#heheheheheh#oh if only I didn’t have to work and be an adult…
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sorry my blog is like 99% league/arcane now this jayvik shit is too serious
#literally made me relapse into league again after 4 years away from it#played aram with friends the other day and they got mad on my behalf bc enemy team got jayce and not us LMAO#they wanted to see me with the skin SO BAD bc i wouldnt shut up about how much i love jayce 😭#i refuse to touch normals until swift play is out next year for my own wellbeing so we had to deal with the rng of aram#my friends are also now very dedicated to the jayvik bit bc everytime they play jayce/viktor they start flirting in call#its been very entertaining#also have one friend in the group who hasnt watched arcane#and he doesn't believe any of us when we say jayvik is that serious and that they're cosmic soulmates#i cannot wait for him to watch it and realise it IS that serious#also with the release of arcane s2 it made me realise ive been into league since 2013#and i very clearly remember it bc i remember the days leading up to jinx's release and all the cool promo stuff she had#and when i realised that was in 2013 it felt like someone smashed me over the head with a metal bat#cant believe its been 11 fucking years since i got into league and i could never fully leave LMAO#sef rambles
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hey so this resurgence of y2k skinny might actually kill me lmao
#text#bro pls……….. just as we were making strides w body positivity……#now everyone is on ozempic or edtwt or edtok#but i still look the same#and three years ago i would’ve been midsized#now i’m plus sized but again my weight hasn’t changed!!!!#just the world around me i’m gonna be sick#everyone is losing weight when they used to say they loved themselves#fully thinking of relapsing lately
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lalala substances stuff
I feel like addiction in minors isnt taken seriously and its seen as a joke or nothing serious anr it sucks this shit sucks especially when people accuse me of glamorizing my addictions and putting them in a positive light bro i dont want yo Be Like This .!
I havent drank in idk less than a month but that changees doon, i havent been drunk in a while 6? Months, havent smoked in 2 months and i havent been high in a few Days. !!! Its progess i guess but likw i wish ppl took this seriously ok bye
#alcohol tw#tw drugs#smoking tw#substance abuse tw#Yaaay i love being a teen addict so cool#Sarcastic btw#But its ok here#Bc this is a 3rd [?] World coubtry!#So everything is ok here!#Because we are poor#Addiction#trying to recover#relapse#?
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will always have to begrudgingly remember (and hate the fact) that one must find joy in the small things in life, and live in the present
#rn it’s playing animal crossing every day and watching bob’s burgers every wednesday#i do have things to look forward to even if they seem far away (and often are)#at the end of april we have a caravan holiday#and yeah it’s only barely march rn#but at least it’s something#more recently tho i’m planning on dying my hair blonde and going shopping#trying to become human again and come back to life so to speak#bc i haven’t felt very much like a person lately and i’m trying my hardest to get back to normal#but if i relapse i’ll just have to work through it#truly i’ve been redoing my course in mental health 101 and regressing quite a bit#but it’s fine#i’m working through it#idk i’m like dipping in and out of here rn#but anyone is free to come hang out by way of asks or you can folllow my insta or whatever you want#i think maybe i need also retake a course in friendship#bc i haven’t been a very good friend lately and those people know who they are#but i love all my friends dearly <3#and anyone is always welcome to come make friends with me#i love chatting to people so come say hi!#and i wanna rekindle things with the friends i already have#rn i’m just a lil car going down a road very very slowly and i need to be careful about things#it’s such an obvious thing: you’re a human being with only one body and mind and you have to take care of it#but sometimes that can be hard#and that’s okay#anyways please don’t be shy about talking to me i don’t bite! i’m just relearning how to be a person and that includes talking to ppl#but i’d still love to talk to you!#anyways catch you on the flipside i guess (or whenever i happen to be active on here imao)#gwen rambles#gwenposting
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