#because I don’t deserve it
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#dark post yet again#I wonder why I always do so much for others#and get mistreated in the return#obviously I can’t expect anyone to be nice to me#because I don’t deserve it#so funny when I think about being loved by someone else#like that’s hilarious#no one would love me#the highest I can expect is a little niceness maybe#that’s it#clearly I must be so awful if all I get in life is abuse#woop hopefully I’ll stop existing soon#all alone#we accept the love we think we deserve#so I don’t deserve any#what a waste of space I am#i wanna kms#seriously#it gets worse and worse#everyday is a fight#and I’m tired of fighting#ah I’m sh again#we love relapsing
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There’s nothing wrong with wanting unconditional love from your f/o, there’s nothing wrong with being ‘the exception’ there’s nothing wrong with making ur self ship super lovey dovey- there is nothing wrong with making your f/o love you in the way you want to be loved!!!!! It’s your ship do whatever you want
proship/variants + neutrals and RPF DNI
#saw a post that pissed me off lmao#not to ramble but I struggled with low self esteem for. most of my life#part of the reason I’m able to be more confident now and less. anxiously attached is BECAUSE I used my selfship to cope this way#imagining my latest fixation being obsessed with me#worshiping the ground I walked on. being hopelessly in love with me#this how I was able to build myself back up and recognize the kind of love I deserved for myself !!!#I know people don’t really like to be reminded of this but your f/os aren’t real#they can feel however you want them to feel. and if you want them to be so in love with you it’s all they can think about SO BE IT!!!#you deserve to imagine a character who’s never upset with you. who would destroy a city for you. you deserve to be loved unashamedly!!!!!!#make your selfship how ever you want#so sick of ppl in this community complaining about how others selfship UGH#okay I’m done#selfship#self ship#self ship positivity#self shipping#self shipping community#selfshipping#self ship blog#yumeship#safeship#safe shipping#f/o community#fictional other#f/o positivity#♡.txt
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by the way if you think an endangered species deserves to go extinct because it takes effort to save them/they can’t look after themselves, you need to reevaluate the way you look at the world because that is an extremely flawed, messed up, and sad worldview.
#sorry for the downer post!!! just. god I keep somehow running into people who hold this view#if you think that unique and vulnerable species deserve to be wiped off the face of the earth just because saving them takes a huge effort#then I don’t want to be around you until you can unpack why that is such a horrifying view to hold.#if you think that way about non human species I don’t want to imagine what you think about say. homeless people or disabled people#disheartening tw#extinction tw
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hate when the tags are full of like those “𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓼𝓮𝔁𝔂 𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓼 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓬𝓸𝓵𝓭 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓵𝓸𝓷𝓰” two sentence ass posts followed by the most random list of unrelated characters AND THEN. AT THE END. they say “ + your fav!” YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW MY FAV!!!! what if his hands are short and warm and unsexy. or what if he doesn’t even have hands to begin with
#sorry to be hater on main but those posts always make me sigh like actually i’m sorry i can’t do it#because what do nagi sukuna toji and some random volleyball player have in common for you to be putting them all in the same ‘story’#don’t worry i always scroll and never send hate very respectful and mindful over here#also notice how i’m not tagging this post with any fandom tags?? that’s because i’m not trying to piss people off#anyways that’s all from me don’t mind my complaining i think i’m fairly unproblematic so i deserve a bit of whining every now and again#m’s thoughts
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You know what? I don’t WANT an awkward double date. I don’t WANT buck coming out and people having the ‘I know’ reaction or the ‘is it Eddie’ reaction.
You know what I do want?
I want Buck panicking over what to wear for the date. I want Buck flopping on his bed like very teenager after their first kiss all giggly and happy and touching his lips because he kissed a boy
I want Buck smiling every time he says Tommy’s name because maybe it isn’t forever and maybe he’s not even looking for forever anymore but he’s so happy and he’s so light and being with Tommy feels good
I want Tommy to keep calling him Evan, because before Buck was Buck he was Evan and Evan deserves to be happy to be treated so softly and lovingly and Evan deserves to be free.
I want Buck to be happy. To be happy and free and queer in the way we all deserve.
#the other things are nice I guess#buddie would be nice#but honestly I don’t care anymore#I just want to see a happy queer character in media#because we don’t even fully have that with hen and Karen#their journey wasn’t an easy one#and why can’t we get queer characters who have a soft loving kind story#whatoh back at it again#evan buckley#tommy kinard#eddie diaz#911 abc#give me a giddy buck who’s nervous and unsure but so excited#give me a Buck who’s awkward but so determined to make this work and to discover more about himself#give me a Tommy who is so soft with him so gentle so kind#because don’t we all deserve that love? doesn’t Evan Buckley deserve that love?#for once I don’t want the angst for him I just want him to be Happy and Free
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The thing is, I don’t care that much about the actual act of someone shipping aromantic characters nearly as much as I care about the biases and amatanormative beliefs that underlie so many people’s decision to do so. The problem isn’t that individual people ship aromantic characters sometimes. It’s the fact that shipping aromantic characters or expressing disappointment that a character is aromantic and thus “can’t be shipped” almost seems to be the default in fandom spaces. Aromantic representation, especially nonpartnering aromantic representation, is treated as something that will “ruin people’s fun” (see: the Hazbin Hotel creator explaining why she won’t say whether or not Alastor is aromantic).
And yes, SOME aromantic people can still date or have non-romantic partners. But the fact that some people are so vehemently against the idea of fictional characters being nonpartnering is still something to be questioned.
Because, really, that’s the crux of the issue. It’s perfectly fine if people like the idea of an aromantic character being partnering or romance favorable. In fact, it would be wonderful to see more characters written as partnering and/or romance favorable aromantics. But when someone ONLY shows interest in characters being partnering or favorable aros in response to those same characters being interpreted as nonpartnering, it often comes across less as a desire to have representation for partnering and favorable aros and more as an opposition to having representation for nonpartnering aros.
#aro#aromantic#things i wrote in one sitting without editing or proofreading#amatanormativity#shipping#fandom#partnering and nonpartnering aros both deserve to be represented!#but alloromantic people never seem to interpret characters who are canonically in relationships as nonpartnering aros#and yet. the second a character is in text saying stuff like “I am not interested in romance or dating” suddenly they’re like#“uhhh we can still ship them because aromantic people can still date”#it’s bullshit. alloromantic people only want to acknowledge partnering aros as an excuse to avoid acknowledging nonpartnering aros#and it hurts all of us! it creates division in our community! and for what? fucking ships?#anyways#I’m not even into hazbin hotel but it is such an excellent representation of how arophobia and shipping culture are intertwined#bc we all know what vivziepop meant with the whole “haha well I know his romantic orientation but I’m not going to say it”#“because I don’t want to ruin everyone’s fun!” bullshit
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not to be a chantry man liker on main BUT. i’ve always thought that sebastian and hawke do have a very fun thematic something going on, and by fun i mean it makes me absolutely insane every time i think about it. the roles of youngest and eldest siblings of your respective families. being forced to relinquish your claim to royalty vs clawing your way up from the bottom to being recognized as nobility. losing everyone in your family all at once and not being able to make any effort to prevent it vs losing everyone in your family one by one even though you were right there trying to prevent it the whole time. they’re parallel but completely inverse and i’m so unwell about it.
#dragon age#da2#sebastian vael#there’s more little stuff but. yeah#EVERY time i replay this game my brain locks onto this and won’t let go of it#don’t even get me started on adding the romance to all of this#the ‘he’s uninteresting because he’s straight and fantasy-catholic’ takes do not impress me in the slightest#sebastian is my GUY okay. think about him a little harder. he deserves it.
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I am free
#🩷💜💙#bi evan buck buckley#bisexuality#bi buck#bi evan buckley#911 abc#911 fandom#evan buck buckley#911 spoilers#purple drawing#911 edit#911 fanart#911 gif#bucktommy#tevan#tommy kinard#bi Buck is everything to me. I hope he gets to have a happy relationship with tommy for a while because he deserves it#don’t ask how long this took to make the answer is very#911 season 7#Q: how many times have I watched the kissing scene? A: yes#BUCK KISSED A BOY AND HE LIKED IT#still giggle everytime I think of them#anyway this is basically a better version of the last thing i posted#i wanted to show buck finally seeing the world in colour#or something more poetic than that#purple draws
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Even more add-ons for the Steve Has Older Siblings AU:
1. One time Jason asked out a girl at the park but she turned him down because she can’t date someone with a kid. Instead of explaining that Steve was his brother, he left a four year old alone at the park to go see a movie. Steve got bored and hungry so he walked to Tommy’s house because it was close by. Mrs. H called his dad’s office and they both got in trouble.
2. Steve went to work with his parents for Take Your Kid To Work Day when he was five and his dad pointed at a guy and said, “This is Matt McDonald. One day his job will be yours.” Matt was an unpaid intern and also his dad spent the entire day berating him so much that he looked like he was going to cry. Steve slipped out the room the moment he got the nerve up and sat under his mom’s desk for the rest of the day.
3. During Steve’s first year lifeguarding, Claire and Richie brought their kids to the pool and Jason, who doesn’t have kids, came too to hang out. No one asked if Steve wanted to come. None of them even talked to him while they were there even after they must’ve seen him working.
4. None of them met Nancy. Steve made real damn sure of that.
5. Its not the first argument between his parents to scare him but it’s memorable because it’s New Years Eve and they break the model car he got for Christmas. It’s also memorable because it’s the first time someone calls the cops. They stand on the front porch with Chief Hopper, and his mom is saying that she’s taking the kids to her mother’s, and Richard is saying that she can take her kid but not his. He gives in when Claire starts crying, and they sleep four in a row on his grandma’s pullout couch. The next morning, Richard shows up with flowers and breakfast, and they all go home. Everything forgiven.
6. Steve gets pulled aside by his dad later that day and given a lecture on when it’s appropriate to call the police and when something is a family matter. Steve tells him that he didn’t call 911 and gets his tv privileges revoked for lying even though he wasn’t. He asks about his model car and Richard says he’ll get him a new one. He never does.
#the bar is literally on the floor for fathers and Dick Harrington over here brought a shovel#At the time that the argument/fight happened only Claire was a minor#the boys could’ve left or even taken Claire with them but all of them went to Angela’s mom’s house#because of how shaken up she and Steve were#they don’t like Angela or Steve but no one deserves to be left alone after all that#also can’t device if I want to add in Steve’s uncle Phil Callahan aka Officer Noodles into this AU#but if you want him there. he lives with his mom so he’s also in that house#steve harrington#Steve has older siblings au#stranger things
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I am feeling extremely unwell this is sickening dammit…
#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha#mha#dabi#touya todoroki#bnha dabi#mha dabi#this is so not good… i don’t feel well at all…#he just wanted a family that was there for him… that’s the only thing he wanted…#i’ve started sobbing again because this seriously is too much ohmygod… waaaaay too much…#horikoshi… dabi and all the members of the league deserved their happy endings too…#you’re so sick for making them the victims AND giving to them an unhappy ending too… i can’t do this anymore…
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I actually love Anthony Bridgerton’s “I will humble myself before you” speech because it’s not only the perfect culmination of Anthony’s character arc throughout season 2 but also of Kate’s.
Throughout the season, we see Kate as someone who believes that she has to earn the love in her relationships. She believes that if scrapes and begs and borrows to keep her family afloat, then she can earn her place with Mary and Edwina. If she pleads with the Sheffields even at the cost of her own pride to make sure Mary and Edwina are taken care of, then she can continue to earn her family’s love. Kate is so used to sacrificing everything she has and then going even beyond that, to earn her place in her personal relationships.
And then here comes Anthony with his “You do not have to accept it or embrace it or even allow it”.
His love is freely given, without even the expectation of acknowledgment, right from the moment he confesses it to Kate. So right from the very beginning, Kate knows, and not just in an abstract sense but from his actual words, that she does not need to earn his love, it’s hers because of who she is, not because of what she can do for him.
This man that she did not concede an inch to, where she’s used to hacking away at herself in an attempt to earn love, simply loves her. He loves her even if she has nothing to give, not even an acknowledgment of his confession.
Then when he proposes all he asks of her is her presence in his life. That’s all he expects from her.
“I will humble myself before you” was the lesson Anthony’s proud ass needed to learn, but it was also the lesson Kate needed. That she’s worthy of receiving and not just to give and keep giving and give some more.
And I absolutely love that this is the beginning of her marriage. A relationship that starts with her knowing in the most absolute sense that she does not have to earn her place in it.
#bridgerton#anthony bridgerton#kate sharma#kate sharma x anthony bridgerton#kanthony#bridgerton analysis#bridgerton season two#I was rewatching 2x08#and it’s just so beautiful#of all the things I complain about regarding the disservice they did to Kate as a character#because mind you we don’t even know her father’s name in the show#anyways back to what I was saying#I’m glad that this was the conclusion she got#because she deserved to know that she can simply be loved for who she is#I’m glad this is how her marital life begins
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So, in PIDW, there was obviously wife plots that could bring back the dead (mushroom body being one of them), and since we know Airplane is a hack that reuses concepts over and over, there’s probably multiple wife plots that could work, so like, where’s the PIDW fics where Liu Qingge somehow comes back to life, memories of Shen Jiu trying to save him intact, and goes to hunt the asshole down so he can repay his life debt, and along the way accidentally clears Shen Jiu’s name of all his crimes and now everyone is convinced Shen Qingqiu is a saint.
#I’m imagining this being around the time of the trial arc where lbh has sqq in the water prison and has probably already started his torture#maybe sqq is physically crippled after this or maybe lqg goes on a quest to get him a mushroom body either way it’ll be so much angst!!#sqq deserves to not be tortured okay?? because while child abuse isn’t okay neither is the cycle of abuse and also? I’m pretty sure other#peak lords treated their disciples worse you’re telling me lqg who apparently beat his disciples ritually every month or so was better??#ALSO? airplane is a confirmed hack and I don’t belive him when he’s the one telling use sqq is evil (he wrote the og book after all)#mxtx hell#mxtx fandom#liushen#liujiu#liu qingge#svsss shen jiu#original shen qingqiu#shen qingqiu#shen jiu#svsss shen qingqiu#svsss fandom#svsss#mxtx svsss#svsss au#sqq svsss#svsss fanfiction#svsss fic#svsss liu qingge#scumbag system#scum villain self saving system#danmei#pidw#proud immortal demon way#airplane shooting towards the sky
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Your most recent post I just made me think about John (because I’m always thinking about John) and if having his wrists pinned would freak him out. Like, the level of trust he would have to build with Oscar to give up what little control he does have, give up that little piece of autonomy he clings too. Idk your art makes me crazy and then I get thinking and here we are—
no you’re so right my god. I need to draw more of these three navigating being intimate because it makes me go INSANE. I need more John being reluctant to trust Oscar and Oscar being patient with him because he’s probably a little bit scared of him but also he knows what it’s like to be ignored and to lose some of your autonomy (I mean he’s coming from the religious trauma stand point but still you get me) NOW YOUVE GOT ME RAMBLING DAMN IT I need to draw them so bad
#OSCAR HAS ONLY EVER BEEN TOLD WHAT TO DO HOW TO ACT TO BE A GOD FEARING BOY AND MAKE IT TO HEAVEN#HE HARDLY KNOWS HOW TO ACCEPT THINGS HE WANTS AND DESERVES BECAUSE HE THINKS HE BENEATH BASIC AFFECTION#sorry anyway so when John start being you know apprehensive he doesn’t push cus he knows how horrible it is#to do things or act in ways you don’t want to. and how you’re shamed for not wanting to do it#idk idk I think they could fix each other#oh and Arthur’s just there for the head I mean huh#ask
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Dreamfyre you’re still the mother of Daenerys’s dragons in my heart and will be until GRRM comes out of his hole to tell me otherwise
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#house of the dragon#anti ryan condal#hotd#hotd s2#anti hotd#DREAMFYRE DESERVED BETTER#I hate the idea that Syrax mothered Dany’s dragons because it doesn’t make sense#Arrax and Vermax look nothing like Drogon Viserion or Rhaegal#plus why the fuck are they in the vale?#until GRRM tells me otherwise#Elissa Farman took Dany’s eggs to Westeros because of her love for Rhaena Targaryen#we don’t even see Dreamfyre on screen#IM DEVASTASTED#I refuse to believe this is real#Ryan Condal you can’t fucking rewrite the literal history of the world for your own fanfic ends#I can cause I’m not making money off it but at least I stick to fucking canon
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The tragedy of Katara’s parentification
Sokka and Katara were both parentified, and it’s a profoundly life-changing thing for both of them. One of the saddest things in ATLA, though, is how Sokka sort of got to outgrow parentification, but Katara never did.
Sokka’s told to be the man. The provider, the protector. He’s not so good at the former (his hunting failures are a consistent source of comic relief), and he takes failures of the latter very, very hard. He doesn’t manage to save Yue, and that wrecks him. After Yue, he becomes extremely protective of Suki in a way that’s borderline offensive to her. He’s willing to do anything to protect his friends and his family, including something as irresponsible as breaking into the Boiling Rock. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Sokka is the only one of the Gaang who unambiguously kills. The rest of them may technically have clean hands because of cartoon logic, but Combustion Man is very dead, and Sokka is the one who killed him. We don’t know how he feels about it, because the show never goes there, but I have a pet theory that Sokka is so uncharacteristically (remember he was team “leave Zuko to freeze to death”) against Katara confronting Yon Rha in The Southern Raiders because he’s the only who knows what killing feels like and wants to protect Katara from it.
But by the end of the show, Sokka’s in a place where he can start to let go of his need to protect. Objectively, all his friends are unbelievably powerful and can take care of themselves, including his sister and his girlfriend. Suki is the one who saves him in the final battle, representing not only a reversal of his initial cartoonish misogyny, but also demonstrating that he is worthy of protection. And of course, he and his friends saved the world, so there isn’t really an enemy that he has to protect them from anymore. Sokka’s loved ones create the conditions under which his parentified behaviour is no longer necessary. Sokka would still have to take the first step to stop seeing himself as the one who has to lay his life on the line, but at least it’s possible for him.
But not Katara.
Katara had to take on the mom role after their mother was murdered, which meant she was responsible for domestic labour and emotional support. Sokka says in The Runaway that her role was to keep the family together. Unlike protection, that’s always a full time job regardless of the war. We see Katara spending more screen time than anybody cooking, getting food, mending, and generally doing women’s work. We see Katara giving everyone emotional support, including strangers and her enemy. We see Katara putting aside her own discomfort and her own hurt in The Desert because if she falls apart, they all die. Nobody ever showed her that she doesn’t need to be the only one who cooks, or that somebody else can be responsible for the emotional wellbeing of her friends, or that — god forbid — someone else can actually be responsible for her emotional wellbeing.
That’s why I never cared for the Ka/taang argument of “he teaches her to be a kid again!” Putting aside the fact that Katara ends up taking care of Aang a lot more as the series goes on, the whole tragedy of parentification is that you can never again be a child. That part of your childhood, your god-given right, is robbed from you. It is extremely precious and important to still be able to be a kid, but breaking free of parentification is not about seeing yourself as a kid. It’s about breaking free of being responsible for everyone’s feelings and behaviours.
For Katara, that responsibility is not problem of perception, but of reality. Unlike Sokka, who was told and shown that his loved ones are capable of protecting themselves, Katara has zero reason to believe that her loved ones are able to feed and clothe themselves and not fall apart emotionally. Between Toph and Sokka who emphatically don’t want to do this work, it all falls on Katara. Telling a parentified child that they just need to loosen up is akin to telling an overworked mother that she needs to just relax (“happy Mother’s Day! You get a break from chores, which you will catch up on tomorrow because nobody else is doing them”). It doesn’t accomplish anything if nobody creates the circumstances under which it’s possible to let go of responsibilities. A lot of Zutara fans, spanning all the way back to the early days of the fandom, like the “Momtara and Dadko” trope where Zuko also does chores. Why? Because even without the concept and language of parentification, many fans recognized that Katara’s performance of domestic and emotional labour is inequitable and probably very taxing.
Growing out of parentification is about more than just letting go of old expectations: it’s also about finding a new way to value yourself beyond the role you grew up with. I’ve said this before, but it’s very important to acknowledge that just because a kid is parentified doesn’t mean they’re actually good at being a parent. In fact, it’s probably a given that they’re not, because they’re kids performing roles that are developmentally inappropriate! Sokka remains a shit hunter; he becomes a decent fighter but he’s still miles behind his friends. A big part of healing from his parentification is finding another area — strategy, engineering, project management (what else do you call that schedule) — where he actually excels, to which he can dedicate his time and from which he can derive satisfaction and a sense of identity. For Katara, fighting for the oppressed and combat waterbending give her that. Crucially, however, Katara does not stop being a girl when she becomes a warrior. She’s still responsible for domestic and emotional labour. Unlike Sokka, whose protector duties were more or less relieved as the series went on and he found new ways to contribute to the group, Katara continued to perform her old role in addition to her new one (which is depressingly realistic btw, look up feminist theory around the concept of the second shift). Still, it’s important that she found these new ways to value herself and her contributions…
…which disappear in her adult life. Where’s adult Katara fighting for the oppressed? Where’s adult Katara enjoying her status as a master waterbender? Where’s Mighty Katara? Where’s the Painted Lady? Where’s the person who vanquished a whole Fire Lord?
What do we know about adult Katara? She’s no longer a rabblerouser or an ecoterrorist. She did not translate her desire to help the downtrodden into a political role, like being Chief or on the United Republic Council. She’s not known as the best waterbender in the world, only the best healer, even though her combat abilities are what she took the most pride in. Even as a healer, she established no hospitals, trained no widespread acolytes (except Korra, I guess?), and made no known contributions to the field.
What Katara is known for…is being a wife and a mother. The same role she was forced to take on at age 8. One which she performed for the next 80+ years.
#Self-proclaimed feminists who don’t see Katara’s trajectory as a tragedy…I want to know what you’re on because I’d like to use it to cope#Katara deserved better#anti kataang#as always my anti kataang posts are more#anti Bryke#very mild#zutara#pro Katara#pro Sokka#water sibs#They just give me so many feels#my meta#Katara parentification discourse
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i hope everyone who preaches about how the only way to enjoy fandom spaces (especially in this fandom) is by strictly abiding by canon interpretations and thinks everyone else is ruining fandom spaces remembers that uwu baby cutesy dream is not in fact fanon but very much so how dream is canonically portrayed so if you want to stick strictly to canon and villainize fanon you’re gonna have to make that guy fucking insufferable and infantilized to hell and back sorry. it’s canon and if you do anything else you don’t actually deserve to be in the fandom that’s just how it works i guess
#utmv#not fandom neg#because this is something i like#rarely see here#given the nature of this fandom is ‘fanon!!! we love fanon!!! fan interpretations keep us alive!!!’#but still. saw some very weird preachy post about canon vs fanon and how the only way to truly enjoy a character at all is by strict canon#and if you don’t abide by strict canon you actually don’t like the character and don’t deserve to?? because you’re ruining them??? what#anhway#tagging as fandom neg anyway#because people have it filtered and this is neg enough#fandom neg#negative#rant post#sort of#like#the worlds lamest rant post#salty posting……my bad
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