#we know what’s happening and the way you showed us what’s happening did literally nothing sorry

[midnight1nk]

If you all were familiar with my analysis of the flareglow mystery, then you would also know how batshit crazy I was over the username changing on the steam page when it happened a few weeks ago. That's right, we're at it AGAIN! Ink Chasing Wild Goosechases 2: Electric Boogaloo ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Am I serious about this? Yes.

Would this be just as pointless as flareglow? Oh yeah, for sure—

Mystery of the SMG43 Steam Username

⚠️ DISCLAIMER IN INTRO POST ⚠️

CONTEXT

For the new year 2025, I had to start with a theory, obviously. The only unfortunate part was that it had to be flareglow *war flashbacks ensue* but it can't be posted without its twinning mystery of the SMG4 Steam page. Well actually, it's the "Not SMG3. Stop looking deep" Steam page as it currently says, quite a mouthful.

If you somehow didn't know about what's going on with steam, I might as well copy+paste from the quick overview I did (og link):

⭐️ the steam account the Team had (y'know with the GMod models), the username originally was "Glitch Productions" since the SMG4 show is under their company ⭐️ then that username was suddenly changed to "SMG3" with no explanation and no new thing added to the workshop

⭐️ now naturally, the fans were like "was it a hack?" or "was it a glitch from Steam itself?" or "is this a troll?" Basically no one knew, merely speculated (and certainly no one gave us any answers) ⭐️ As for what I thought, it seemed really weird to just change the username. Much more could've been done to the account and yet nothing else happened, which is why I thought the username change must've been done intentionally by the Team (especially bc of the flareglow mystery happening right around the same time as this). ⭐️ THAT is when Cube finally came out with that tweet saying that the Steam thing "didn't mean anything significant" and around the same time, the Steam username changed again to "Not SMG3. Stop looking too deep"

⭐️ Again, nothing new was added to the workshop or profile. The only thing that changed was the username. ⭐️UPDATES⭐️ as of today, there haven't been any changes to the username (I was really hoping that they did, we'll talk about it soon)

Very curious, indeed. ...we DON'T talk about Ben trolling. let's not.

"But what does that mean for us?"

As much as flareglow is a hit-and-miss, there is a big chance that the Team has made these changes intentionally.

REASONING (+ REBUTTAL)

Before we can go over the theories (patience friends), we have to knock out the logical explanations for this:

Nothing Significant

That's it. What Cube said, it didn't mean anything significant. It can be so stupid that it could literally just be the Team wanting to see the fandom notice. For the sillies. Which is basically...

Just a Troll

Whoever changed the username, whether it was the Team or a hacker, they just wanted to make a harmless joke. It's pretty well known that the Team likes to troll with us every now and then.

Looking directly at Ben rn

I mean, we did get word from the Team addressing it, right? Case closed, pack it up. Right?

...And here's where it all comes crashing down:

Out of all the platforms, Steam was chosen. We are all familiar with how the Team likes to tease us for future arcs, one way or another. The most well-known is the banner changing in YT and other socials, but not Steam. The only other time Steam was involved that I could think of was during the Western Spaghetti arc, the train ARG map.

This is CUBE we're talking about. This is the same guy who likes to troll us, aside from Ben. Remember back when the PV website had the "That's all folks!" gif before changing it for WOTFI '24 with Ringmaster 4? Cube tweeted "I used the same website host don’t read into it too much". And THEN when it changed again with "4" being unmasked as Mr Puzzles, all Cube responded was "🥰". Cube, Ben, the whole Team is aware that we pay attention to these kinds of things. The PV website brought attention to WOTFI, it's only natural that the Team wanted us to pay attention to Steam for a reason. Not to bring flareglow into this HOWEVER, don't you find it curious that Cube questioned flareglow before the official comment but didn't do it for Steam? Not to mention the wording being completely off in the official. "doesn't mean anything significant" sounds very much like "don't worry about it :)", even if it turns out to be something dumb. It would've been so easy to say "it's just a troll".

The fact that the username chosen isn't the issue, it's why it was chosen to begin with. Even if you don't consider SMG3's internal fear of never being remembered or loved (4's "pathetic copy"), their names are almost identical from one number away. It seems pretty harmless. But how the hell did the jump go from "Glitch Productions" to "SMG3"? It could've been "SMG4" and have the fans second-guessing. OR use any of the other character names like SMG1 and 2. Now, the counter-rebuttal could be that "it fits 3's character", some fans have commented that "it's Youtube Arc all over again". Fair enough, I thought it could be a sweet callback. BUT (countercounter-rebuttal) it still didn't make sense. If 3 wanted to be discreet about it with a smoother transition from "Glitch Productions", he could've changed it to "Snitch Productions" (also a good callback). And if you think they don't remember that, the Team placed a poster of the logo in 3's room.

There's no clear motive. Like I said in number 3, there's no motive as to why 3 would change it. Well, if it was him. Bringing back to the PV website example, there was a conundrum on why Ringmaster 4 would be asking fans for WOTFI challenges when the Crew and 4 himself had no idea about Puzzle Park. I've predicted before that someone (in this case Mr Puzzles) was impersonating as Ringmaster 4 to confuse the fans and reusing his website for a new purpose while the real 4 wouldn't have any idea. Steam would be the same way; someone with access could easily change the username at will and decide to impersonate 3. And who else had access in the past? *cough cough* ARG map *cough cough*

The timing of these changes. Besides the "SMG3" username change, there's the second username change, claiming that it's "Not SMG3". In hindsight, that doesn't seem like a big deal but the whole thing has been going on for over 2 WEEKS. In their universe, if 3 was joking around and assuming that 4 regained control of the page, the question is why didn't 4 change it back to the OG username? In ours, the Team already knows that the fans noticed the change so why don't THEY change it back?

(BONUS: if I wasn't clear before, it can't be a hacker) If their Steam account was hacked, the first thing they wouldn't think to do would be to change the username. You would have to think like a criminal to understand what I mean. Strike big and fast, leave nothing to chance. Even if this "hacker" wanted to troll around, there would be no reason to change it to "SMG3". I would've expected a keymash or something inappropriate. And again, the Team could've addressed this in a more serious tone and brought the OG username back.

Logic Chess babyyyyy (and I'm eating the pieces)

THEORY TIME

This is it! Before I go on though, I want to state that we're gonna treat flareglow and steam as TWO separate mysteries due to the uncertainty that still lingers with the Spotify situation. Spotify simply sucks. (also let's not bring the nightmare of a song in here.)

Now, the moment you're all waiting for, cue the intro:

Each one will be based on a single element I nitpicked from the whole mystery. It'll be up to you whether or not a few relate to each other, and ofc if you believe any of it. They're simply my "interpretations". At the end would give my overall theory (but I don't think I need to).

"Nothing Significant"

Let's go in the opposite direction Cube has told us. The Team planned to bring attention (and it worked) for a reason, likely for a future arc. Though the username was the only thing that changed on the page, a new item/addon can drop in the workshop as the Team did for the ARG Map. As of the time I'm writing this, nothing has... yet.

It doesn't matter who was responsible for this in the SMG4 universe, SMG3 is involved in the situation voluntarily or by force.

Who's Really Behind the Screen?

First off, we would need to know who had access to the Steam page, and the channel in general if needed. By the roster we got, it would be 4, 3, and Mr Puzzles.

4 wouldn't make sense right away due to lack of current motive, so he's off the murder board... for now

3 might be taking care 4's account while our blue meme lord isn't around, similar to how 3 has during the IGBP arc (most notably the "Announcement..." video). As to why 4 isn't around, it's still too early to call. Either (1) 4's taking a vacation or (2) 4's in danger.

Then if it's not 3, that leaves Mr Puzzles. "But Mr Puzzles is in solitary confinement" Then answer me how Mr Puzzles was able to upload the ARG map without having to access it through 4's PC for Western Spaghetti. Or setting up the live stream for IGBP. Oh, he'll find a way. Besides, we thought Marty would be in jail forever and yet here we are.

Let's talk about motive: out of all three, Puzzles is the only one who currently has a motive. And I mean CURRENTLY. The year just started after all. If any of them get pushed over the edge, pressing the right buttons, 4 and 3 can get one too.

Aside from this, I see the two strange usernames as a sort of conversation:

These were made by two different characters in a dire hostage situation. Person 1, the victim, made the "SMG3" username to call for help to 3 or the victim being 3 himself through Steam to not bring TOO much attention but enough to get someone to notice. Person 2, noticing this later, quickly deflected and changed it to "Not SMG3" and told anyone who saw it to "Stop looking too deep". Almost like a warning.

These are two characters controlling one body AKA possession. Just like number one, Person 1 is calling out for help and Person 2 is trying to damage control and deny it. Except the host character is denying that anything's wrong with them and excuses it like they're sick or something.

Again, these two are how I interpreted but they're not the only ones.

Timing

So... about that hunch. Yeah, it was entirely based on the timing of these changes happened. I found it strange that just as the Team was coming from their break and getting back to work, both flareglow and steam mysteries occurred. And after the comment they left on the New Year's special, something was up according to past Ink.

So, thinking back to how the second username said "stop looking too deep", I kept track of the days the usernames stayed up online. I thought that the answer didn't have to be complicated at all. No ARG, no secret decoding. Basic math. If including the end date in the calculation:

"SMG3" = 3 days

"Not SMG3. Stop looking too deep" = 19 days (as of today)

And this could lead to two things:

(to get this out of the way) it could be a series of numbers we could use for a future password. Similarly how typing "carnival" from the associated episode at the time unlocked the PV website with Ringmaster 4. And the WOTFI website is still up soooooo.....

and now my hunch *sigh* the numbers could be a date for a future arc/event. It was already strange that it dropped days before the first episode of 2025, it then became stranger when the second username is still up to this day. Using the first username, the 3 days would translate to the 3rd month (March) and naturally, the second username, it would translate to the day. If you had known me, then you would've known how I exploded when I realized what big event also happened in March. When the world was never the same again. That's right: It's Gotta Be Perfect (18th of March). Yes, my hunch was goop!4 all along and the date would've been solid evidence that it was gonna come true. Big surprise coming from me. And I said, WOULD'VE because as you can see, we passed those 18 days. Yep, my hunch was just as it was, a load of shit 😔 Still, not all is lost, it could still lead to a date. March has 31 days so if the username changes anytime between now and Day 31, then this would still make it entirely possible.

The Final Theory

Here we are: what I believe what's going to happen in the future of the show. Having all the speculations in one pile made me realize that Cube may be right all along.

Why would it be anything significant when we already knew the answer?

If any of you were veteran followers of mine, first off thanks for sticking with me and my insane ramblings, and two, you might recall one of my first theories. The true first, in fact.

Made before WOTFI 2024, I theorized that the Puzzlevision Arc would come full circle, based on past arcs and hidden details, and it'll all end with an IGBP sequel (link to OG). Though it's dated, a lot of it still stands and in fact, there's even more evidence to support it. WOTFI 2025 arc, The Mario PC Virus, Mario reacts to the Best 2024 Memes. It all keeps coming back.

In the PV arc, Mr Puzzles did indeed launch his streaming service Puzzlevision. And ever wondered what happened to it? 🤔

"Take it from us! The food here is a must, In addition with your ticket, you get PuzzleVision+"

[Mind-controlled Crew // WOTFI 2024]

I suppose it's time for a name change:

PUZZLEVISION+ : NOW AIRING

And that means, goop!4 is still real 🎉 Only this time, Mr Puzzles would destroy the Crew without hesitation. Death, torture, and trauma? It's good entertainment after all. And for that, he would have to be calculated in his plans.

For PV+, he would have to get rid of Mario somehow for always ruining his plans

Western Spaghetti would also get a sequel, but he would have to get rid of Tari to drive Meggy fully insane (the betrayal from WOTFI).

and last but not least, IGBP. Mr Puzzles and 4: narrative foils, two sides of the same coin. Where it all started, it ends here. But if he wants to ensure his chances, Puzzles would have to get rid of 3, the one who saved 4 the first time. (See where I'm going with this?)

We already knew goop!4 and Mr Puzzles' return will eventually happen, the hints are all there, so there shouldn't be any surprise when it does. Nothing significant. But of course, our Crew would get through this, to quote Boopkins from IGBP:

“Love wins! Love always wins!”

[’It’s Gotta Be Perfect’ // timestamp 28:56]

Indeed, love has unironically the power the Crew needed to beat the countless battles they've encountered. Even if it comes with a price, love always remains.

And this also means we might get WOTFI Heist 2 WOOHOO

But hey, that’s just a theory…

AN SMG4 MINI-THEORY

🎶Thanks for dropping by🎶

Now if you excuse me, I'm gonna strangle the Team rn /silly

[maxdibert]

1. We’re talking about a high-class bully considered an aristocrat in his world due to his blood status, who also operated with numerical superiority when attacking and, conveniently, had a working-class half-blood kid as his main target, whom he literally attacked for “existing.” The classist conditions are quite evident, and the power dynamics are clear. If you don’t want to see them because you need to justify your love for abusive, privileged brats, that’s not my problem. I fully acknowledge that Severus had plenty of flaws and a terrible personality, but what I won’t accept is blaming him when, in this dynamic with James Potter, he was clearly the victim and the one who was socially and economically at a disadvantage.

2. Excusing abusive behavior with “it’s just humor” is like excusing people making racist or homophobic jokes under the same premise. If we understand that one thing is wrong, we should apply it across the board. Making jokes with a misogynistic undertone that directly ties to the systematic, traditional abuse of women is not funny—it’s a demonstration of the power and impunity that privileged white men have over certain social groups, in this case, women. I’d love to see you defend the same attitude if it were Severus or Lucius Malfoy saying the same thing. You probably wouldn’t be saying the same.

3. Can you tell me where in canon it specifies that those spells were created for being a bigot? What we know is that they were created for “enemies,” and “enemies” can easily be understood as the group of bullies who had been tormenting him since he was 11 years old. Interpreting it as him creating them to target innocent Muggle-borns is something you’ve completely fabricated because nothing in the canon suggests that. It’s your own prejudice driving that interpretation. I’m basing this on canon, where his book specifies it was for “enemies.” Therefore, the knife analogy is correct: I carry a knife to protect myself from enemies, who in this case are guys who might try to do something to me at night. If those guys grab my knife and assault me with it, is that my fault? Victim blaming?

4. No, my dear, you started with the nonsense, so don’t come to me with excuses now. Sorry, but it seems like some of you get very upset when someone calls you out and debunks your fallacies. Well, that’s not my fault. Sorry!

5. James starts picking on Snape the very first day of school on their way to Hogwarts. Was he a bigot then? Did he butt into the conversation and mock him because he was a bigot? How did he know? Was he psychic and saw the future? Also, when the book explicitly states that he decided to publicly strip him because Sirius was bored? Why doesn’t it say they went after him because he was a bigot, but rather because Sirius was bored and his way of having fun was to find Snape alone and attack him two-on-one? Shall we also remember that what happens with Lily happens after they strip him and publicly humiliate him by choking him? Or are you conveniently skipping that part to keep throwing around argumentative fallacies at your convenience?

6. Basic concepts of character development 101: show, don’t tell. Rowling manages to show the reader that James could also be a terrible person through his actions, but when it comes to his “redemption,” she doesn’t show it—his friends just tell us about it, and they were clearly far from objective. Where is this change? Where is the maturity? Where does she show it? You can say something a thousand times, but it can’t be taken seriously if you don’t show it, and Rowling fails miserably at convincing us about James by not showing this so-called maturity she claims he has.

I love it when Marauders stans try to portray Lily as the ultimate feminist icon when any woman with half a brain and even the most basic understanding of gender studies knows that you’d be safer locked in a cage with a hungry lion than with a rich brat who publicly strips people and blackmails you into dating him in exchange for not committing sexual assault. Like, what world do you even live in? Seriously?

[maddy-ferguson]

talking to new people again is making me realize that (this is gonna sound dramatic) i haven't lived in five years but what i have done is watch a lot of movies and read a bunch of books and believe it or not that actually makes me an interesting conversationalist in some ways (?)

[sunsetovertheocean]

Ok, the ending of Lia's section in Twelve? I have actually never recovered from that.

[starlooove]

Also I’m tired of art reflecting real life for everyone except white rich ppl

[chancloud8]

Teach Me {3}

<< previous chapter || next chapter >> series masterlist

Pairing: Felix x Reader, Hyunjin x Reader

Word Count: 3,4k

Tags: fluff, kissing, neck kisses, friends to ?

Summary: you finally talk with all the guys about their offer. felix shows you the wonders of neck kisses and hyunjin can't help but join the fun.

a/n: for some reason this chapter took me forever. from now on more of the guys will get with reader and it will get steamier every chapter ;)

***********************************************

You call Chan when you're in the elevator, your phone pressed between your cheek and your shoulder as you wait for him to pick up. Multiple plastic bags filled with food hang on your wrists and in your hands you have carton holders filled with drinks.

'Come on,' you mutter slightly annoyed when Chan isn't answering.

You knew you should have called literally any of the other guys. Chan usually has his phone muted while he's working and while you don't blame him for that, it's definitely annoying now.

The doors of the elevator open, showing an empty hallway with absolutely no where to put down the drinks for a bit. With a curse you shuffle forward, holding onto the cartons with dear life as you pray for more strength.

'STRAY KIDS!' you yell, hoping your voice will carry through the walls.

You might be at a recording studio, but only the actual booth they sing in is fully soundproof. It only takes about five seconds before a door opens and Changbin and Seungmin stick their heads out, a curious look adorning their faces.

'Help?' you let out, smiling hopefully at them.

The both of them rush forward. Changbin reaches you first and takes over the cartons with drinks. Seungmin is next and he carefully pulls your phone from its place between your cheek and shoulder, putting it in his pocket and helping you with the bags of food.

'Why didn't you call us?' he asks, frowning down at you.

'I did!' you argue. 'I just made the mistake to dial Chan.'

Changbin laughs ahead of you. 'You should know better, Bunny.'

You grumble under your breath and follow them inside the room, closing the door behind you. The guys are all piled up on the two couches again, scrolling on their phones, with the exception of Chan who's behind his laptop with his headphones on.

'How long has he been like that?' you ask, getting the attention of everyone in the room but Chan.

'Y/N! You're here!' Jeongin waves at you from where he lays upside down on the couch.

'Didn't you hear me yell?' you laugh, gesturing to Changbin and Seungmin who are putting out the food you brought.

'They're too obsessed with their phones,' Seungmin says, rolling his eyes.

Felix gets up from the couch to hug you and Hyunjin follows, kissing your cheek.

'Thanks for bringing us food,' they chorus together as if they practised it beforehand.

You giggle at them and open your arms to hug Jeongin who dribbles your way like he drank way too much caffeine. You're about to ask him about it when he surprises you by pulling you against his body and kissing your lips. It's just a quick and soft peck, but it still takes your breath away and when he pulls away you blink up at him dumbly.

'INNIE,' Hyunjin screeches in surprise while Felix bursts out in laughter. 

Jeongin giggles and shrugs, calmly walking back to the couch like nothing happened. 

'Baby bread, what was that?' Lee Know's voice sounds from behind you and you turn around in confusion. 

Where did he come from? Had he been in the room before? You hadn't noticed him before now. 

He smiles down at you and pats your head. 'Will you go get Chan and Sungie? We have dance practice after dinner.' 

You nod and still a little dazed, you move to where Chan still hadn't noticed you arrived. You put your hands over his eyes from behind him and he startles, letting out a funny sound before ripping his headphones from his head. 

'Y/N?' he asks when he hears you giggle. 

'How did you know it was me?' you ask as you remove your hands so he can turn around and face you. 

'You have tiny soft hands and Felix wouldn't dare startle me like this when I'm working,' Chan says, grabbing your wrists and pulling you forward into a hug. 

It's a bit of an awkward position because he's still sitting down, but you bury your face in his neck anyways. Chan always gave the best hugs. 

'Come on, I brought food,' you say, pulling back. 'Where's Hannie?' 

'Here!' Jisung's voice sounds from behind you and you feel a soft tap against your ass. 

'Hey!' you laugh, turning around, but Jisung was already tackling Lee Know to the ground for a piece of fried chicken.

You watch them fondly for a while, Chan doing the same behind you, but then his stomach growls loudly and you turn to glare at him. 

'Christopher, when did you last eat?' you ask him sternly, holding out your hand for him to help him up. 

He takes your hand, but instead of answering he leads you towards the table filled with the food you brought and fills his mouth with chicken so he doesn't have to say anything. 

You narrow your eyes and point your finger at him. 'I'm going to make Lee Know kick your ass at dance practice.' 

Chan's eyes widen comically and Lee Know laughs from his spot on the floor, giving you a thumbs up. 

'Y/N, come eat,' Felix says, patting the spot behind him. 

You move to sit between him and Hyunjin and accept the chopsticks Changbin hands you from Felix's other side. Seungmin slides a plate your way, every inch of it covered in different kinds of sushi and meat and you smile at him in thanks before popping a piece of beef in your mouth. 

'Is no one going to talk about Innie kissing Y/N?' Hyunjin asks, glancing between you and Jeongin with his eyebrows raised, a piece of sushi hangs between his chopsticks as he waits for anyone to say something. 

'There's nothing to talk about Hyung,' Jeongin replies, reaching for his drink. 'We kissed yesterday too.' 

'What?' Hyunjin drops his chopsticks. 'Seriously?' 

'You didn't tell them?' you laugh, a bit surprised since you thought he would have texted them when you left. 

'He told me,' Chan says between bites.

'You were basically there for the show,' you roll your eyes at him. 'I thought you guys would have talked about this. That we'd talk about it more today, you know,-' you hesitate a moment, looking down at your plate. 'About the offer?' 

'We did talk about it,' Felix places his hand on your knee. 'Innie just left out the part where he got to kiss you already.' 

You look up with a frown. 'See, this is why I'm worried. You guys can't act like this is some sort of competition and I don't want things to get weird between us, or you guys.' 

'We discussed that as well,' Lee Know pipes up from across the table. 'We want to do this for you and we want you to be comfortable.' 

'Without weirdness,' Jisung smiles from next to Lee Know. 

'Look,' Chan says, putting down his plate. 'We can't promise it won't get a little complicated sometimes, because we're all human and with certain actions come certain feelings.' 

You feel your cheeks heating up at his words, but you nod because he's right. 'That's another reason why I've been hesitant. What if certain feelings do develop? Do we stop then? Will you tell me?'

The guys all share a look with each other and it's like they're communicating without words. They do that a lot and while it's usually something you love, it feels a little frustrating now. 

'Maybe we shouldn't do this,' you say, chewing on your lip. 'Maybe it's a stupid idea.' 

'Maybe you're overthinking it,' Changbin smiles at you. 'It doesn't have to be complicated. We're friends first, yeah? We've known each other for a long time and we can trust each other. Agreed?' 

You nod. 'Yes of course.' 

'Okay, so let us do this for you. Don't think too much, but keep telling us how you feel and we'll do the same,' Changbin continues. 

'Let's just see where it goes and if you want to stop at any time, we'll stop,' Chan adds. 

A little voice in the back of your mind tells you it's almost like they want it too much, but for some reason, even while it probably would have been wise to say no,  you can't deny that you want them to teach you. Their reactions make you feel warm and wanted and you do trust them.

 All their eyes are locked on you, waiting, and so you find yourself nodding once more. 

'Yes?' Chan's lips curl up in a grin and all the guys around him mirror the action. 

'Yes,' you nod again, grinning back at them. 'Now can we please eat?' 

They laugh and everyone digs in again, enjoying the food you brought. You happily eat from the plate Seungmin made for you and listen to the guys chatting about the songs they're working on. This was good, familiar, comfortable. 

After dinner Chan goes back to his computer with Jisung and Changbin to listen to the last recording they made, while the rest cleans up and gets ready for dance practice. 

'How can you even train so soon after dinner?' you ask no one in particular, rubbing your full belly. 'I don't even want to think about moving and you ate more than me.' 

'We're growing boys,' Changbin yells from where he's sitting next to Chan, flexing his biceps. 

'Bin, we know your muscles are impressive, no need to show off,' you tease, but your eyes linger anyways and he notices. 

'You sure? You can take a picture if you want?' he grins and you stick out your tongue at him before looking away. 

'I guess we're used to it,' Felix says from where he's stretching on the floor. 'And it won't be for at least another half hour until we have the training room.' 

'Still too soon for me,' you chuckle, sitting back down on the couch and curling your legs up underneath your body. 

You watch Felix, Hyunjin and Lee Know go through their warm-up with little to no shame, sitting back quietly and tracking their movements with your eyes. They're really flexible, especially Lee Know, and while you knew this already, you're still impressed by his cat-like movements. 

'Like what you see?' Jeongin grins, letting his body fall down on the couch beside you. 

Felix looks up, his big brown eyes meeting yours and you suppress a shiver. They're so insanely beautiful, you've always thought so, but now that you know he's going to get close and personal with you soon, they hit you differently. 

'Yup,' you admit, smiling at Felix. 'I'm very envious of how they move.' 

'You know this is just stretching right?' Felix laughs, bending his torso towards his knees. 'Anyone can do it.' 

You let out a snort. 'Not me, that's for sure. I'm stiff as a board. I tried yoga a few months ago, it was horrible.' 

'So you're saying we have another thing to teach you?' Hyunjin laughs, rolling his shoulders while basically sitting in a split. 

Shaking your head you get up from the couch to walk around him. 'Nope, I'll never be able to do that. You're insane.' 

Lee Know, who's also on the floor, grabs your wrist when you walk by him and pulls you down to the floor. You nearly lose your balance, but he easily catches you and motions for you to sit. 

'You could have just asked,' you mumble, sitting down cross legged. 

'Stretch your legs in front of you,' Lee Know says, ignoring your questioning look. 

You move your legs in front of you, wiggling your toes, as you put your hands on the floor beside you before looking at him again, your eyebrows raised as you have no clue what he wants you to achieve here. You didn't lie about not being flexible. 

'Now open your legs as far as you can,' Lee Know instructs. 

You can't help but gape at him. Say what now? Was he serious? It isn't lost on you that the sentence could have a very different meaning as well and suddenly you feel hot all over. 

'I think you broke her,' Felix giggles from your other side. 

You blink a few times and look to your left, just in time to see Felix crawl your way. He had no right. No fucking right to look like that, to crawl towards you with a flushed face and big brown doe eyes. Nope. You quickly look at Lee Know again to see him smiling at you. 

Taking a deep breath you look down at your legs and will yourself to spread them as wide as you can, which is not wide at all. It's pathetic really. 

'That's it?' Hyunjin asks from across from you and you look up to glare at him. 

'I told you!' 

'Relax,' Felix's voice sounds in your ear. 

You do the exact opposite, your whole body tenses at how close he is. His breath fans your neck as he takes a seat behind you, his legs stretching out beside yours and he presses his chest against your back. Heat radiates from him and your whole body tingles where he touches you. 

Breathe, you tell yourself. It's just Felix. 

'Relax,' Felix repeats, taking your hands in his and allowing you to lean against him. 'Just breathe for a minute and relax your muscles.' 

It seems impossible at first, but when Hyunjin and Lee Know continue their own stretches and Felix just breathes slowly and steadily behind you, you slowly feel the tension leave your body. 

'Good,' Felix whispers when you sag against him a bit more. 'Now when you're ready, we're going to move a little okay, just follow my lead.' 

You nod, not trusting your voice and when he puts a little pressure against your back with his chest, you move forwards. Immediately you feel the muscles of your groin pull and burn, but before you can say anything, Felix gently places his hands on your hips and moves the two of you back, to the side and then forward again. He repeats the movements a few times and while your muscles still burn, it doesn't hurt. 

'You okay?' Felix asks softly. 

'Mhm,' you hum. 'I'm not sure this will help though.' 

He chuckles and his chest vibrates against your back. 'Not right now, but if you practise this every day, it will.' 

You turn your head to look at him with raised eyebrows. 'And what makes you think I will?' 

Felix tightens his hands on your hips. 'Because you want to get more flexible?'

Lee Know lets out a laugh from beside you, but you ignore him, your eyes still focused on Felix while your brain obsesses over the feeling of Felix his hands on you. 

'And that's all I have to do?' 

'No,' Felix smiles. 'But I can teach you some more exercises.' 

It would actually be nice to be a bit more flexible and to not get muscle aches so often after doing simple tasks. 

'And what would you want in return?' you ask just Felix presses a feather light kiss just under your ear. 

A funny feeling erupts in your belly and you melt against him, craning your neck without even thinking about it. It's like your body moves on instinct. 

Felix chuckles deeply and hovers his mouth over the exposed side of your neck, his breath fanning your skin. 

'Why would I want anything in return when I already have you right where I want you,' he whispers in your ear, his voice so low you barely hear him. 

What? 

'What?' you voice your thoughts and it comes out with a crack. 

'Hmm?' Felix hums against your neck and for a moment you wonder if you didn't hear him correctly. 

It wouldn't be weird with what he's doing to your brain somehow. It's like your thoughts are hazy and all you can think about is how nice his soft lips feel against your hot skin. 

'What are you doing?' you whisper, your voice sounding weird to your ears, a little breathless. 

Felix doesn't lift his head as he replies. 'Giving you an unplanned lesson, I guess.' His lips attach to your neck again, pressing a trial of soft kisses all the way to where your neck meets your shoulder. 

You shiver, but don't argue. It feels nice and way better than you thought it would so you let him have his way, closing your eyes to somehow savour the feeling. When his teeth graze your skin, you let out a soft noise, startling yourself and your eyes snap open, meeting Hyunjin's gaze across from you. 

Shit. You somehow forgot you and Felix weren't alone. 

'It's okay,' Felix mumbles. 'Relax.' 

His voice has always been soothing to you, but right now it's even more powerful somehow and you once again melt into him. You trust him. 

'Good, close your eyes,' Felix whispers, while his left arm wraps around your waist, keeping you in place against him. 

You do as he says and when his right hand moves to your chin to gently tilt your head even further to the side, you let him. You'd probably let him do anything he wants right now. 

Felix kisses your neck again, more open mouthed this time and when his tongue sneaks out to taste your skin, another noise escapes your throat. It kind of tickles, but in a good way and you can't help but arch your neck even further, wanting more. 

You're so focused on Felix that you don't notice someone coming closer to you until you feel a presence sit down between your legs. Your eyes slowly open to see Hyunjin scoot closer to you, throwing his legs over yours and Felix's. 

You open your mouth to ask what he's doing, but he just shakes his head at you and curls his hand around the back of your neck, careful not to bother Felix who is still attached to the other side of your neck, nibbling, licking and gently biting your skin.

'Can I kiss you?' Hyunjin asks, his eyes flicking down to your lips. 

'Yeah,' you breathe out, your brain is too hazy to overthink this. 

Hyunjin doesn't waste any time and closes the distance between you, crashing his lips against yours. He's gentle at first, moving his mouth in sync with yours, but when you lick his bottom lip like Chan thought you yesterday, he groans against you and kisses you harder. His fingers move from your neck into your hair and softly pull at the strands, making you gasp. 

To your surprise he doesn't lick into your mouth or tangle your tongues, like Chan had yesterday, he just ups his tempo and scrapes his teeth over your bottom lip. Felix tightens his hands on you when you shiver and his tongue slips out again to soothe the skin he just abused. Is he leaving hickeys?

Hyunjin pulls back and you chase after him, not ready to stop kissing him, not when it feels this good. The sensation of being kissed at two places at once was addicting and you aren't ready to give up on it just yet. You want more. 

Hyunjin chuckles and traces your lips with his thumb. 'Easy there, I just want to ask if you kissed with tongue yet?' 

Such a gentleman. You hastily nod and lean forward again, but Felix his arm around you holds you back. It's only then that you realize what you're doing, in the middle of the studio where all the other guys can see. Hyunjin seems to notice right away and moves his face closer to yours again. 

'Don't overthink it, it's just you, me and Felix,' he whispers before kissing you again. 

Felix switches to the other side of your neck, forcing Hyunjin to let go of your hair, but you don't mind, all you can think of now is kissing Hyunjin. His tongue teases your lips again and when you open them he finally licks into your mouth, touching your tongue with his. He kisses differently than Chan, calmer, but with a lot of passion and in the back of your mind you store this information for later before grabbing onto Hyunjin's shirt and kissing him harder. 

When you break apart again, the both of you are panting like you just ran a marathon. Hyunjin's lips are swollen and he grins when he looks down at your neck, where Felix had let go as well. 

'Quite the artwork Lix, I'm impressed,' he chuckles. 

Your hand flies to your neck, but besides some wet spots and a slight tingling feeling, you don't feel anything. Guess you were going to have to find a mirror later.

**********************************************

a/n: I hope you liked this chapter, I'm still not sure what to think of it haha. Please let me know your thoughts!

Shoutout to @staylovesmiley for being my cheerleader while writing <3 >> part 4

taglist: @jaeminie-cricket @jeonginsbaee @newbbystay @lunearta @danceonmyheyday @gigizzz @kaqua @haven-skies @zulie-and-cats @livixcore @halfwinterhalfuniverse @jesuschrist2006 @staybabblingbaby @whatdoyouwanttocallmefor

[genderqueerdykes]

holy shit wait…your 32???

I…im gonna cry

I didn’t know we can live this long…

not just trans mass but…

alterhuman…and plurals..and…

I can’t…

so happy

gonna cry……..

yes i am! i was born in 1992 :)

that's exactly why i have my age in my bio- i've wanted to show people that you don't "outgrow" fundamental parts of your identity. it's natural to adopt and shed identities as we age, but i've been out as genderqueer since 19! nothing has changed, i'm still the same genderqueer person i was all those years ago!

and if anything- life has gotten better in my 30s. as a word of advice to most people out there: your teen years and your twenties FUCKING SUCK!!!!!!!! they tell you those are the "best years of your life" but they're NOT- you're growing into a world that is terrifying and doesn't understand you. you're scared. your brain and body are still developing and you're constantly facing new challenges. those are honestly i think the HARDEST years of your life, hands down

when i was a teenager, i would think to myself "phht there's literally no way i'm making it past 25 lmao" and figure that life ends after 25. well, that day came where i turned 25... and nothing changed.

and then i turned 30. still, nothing changed

now i'm 32 and... nothing has changed. maturation happens with age, yes, but it doesn't mean that you're suddenly a completely different person. people have such a shitty view on 30 year olds, like it's somehow "embarrassing" to be above the age of 25 years old. people in their 30s are constantly picked on, we're constantly told to "act our age" when... we are. i'm happier than ever realizing that I made it to my 30s, still trans, still nonhuman, still plural

i've been in treatment for DID since 2017, and while i've healed a lot, i have not integrated with my alters, and i never will. i don't want to. this is how my brain functions. the dissociation can be a nightmare for me, but my brain needs different people inside of it in order to be able to function properly. we tried to force ourselves to live as a singlet for 3 years and what ended up happening was that host at that time cracked from being under the constant pressure and still has never returned. the amount of stress it placed on us to try to live as a singlet was not worth it. at all

there hasn't been a singular moment in my adult life where i stopped being nonhuman, either. that was something that i never even tried to force myself out of. i never viewed it as weird or something that i should "outgrow"- i told my own mother that i did not identify as human as a child and that never left me. even now, i still wear dog collars, ears, tails, and take nature walks and do things to make myself feel more like my nonhuman selves. i'm still a furry, too!

i might not be a queer "elder" yet, but i'm happy as can be to be able to be an older queer person who can use their experience to help younger folks. thanks for sending this message! trust me, there really is a life after your 20s. your teens and 20s suck massively. but after i passed 30 i became more down to earth about my age. it's not a bad thing to live past 20- in fact, it's a badge of honor. i made it. i'm still breathing, i'm still here, still queer, despite all attempts to prevent me from still being here.

i'm going to continue be here for a long, long time, and you can be here with me, too.

take care of yourself! thanks for stopping by!

[unabashednightmarepizza]

𝑀𝑦 𝐶𝑎𝑡 𝐼𝑛 𝐷𝑖𝑠𝑔𝑢𝑖𝑠𝑒

A/N: This is definetly not me projecting my love for cats and Regulus. Also, if anyone is interested in documentaries, I recommend you watching "Inside of a cat's mind". It was really interesting, and also a seratonin boost for me.

A/N: I feel like this sucks but I couldn't think of another way to end this, I hope you guys like it!

Prompts used: "I love her so bad" from this, "you are my favourite, you always have been." from this.

"That's downright ridiculous..."

"Oh, come on, Reggie! What better way than this to show your lover your new animagus form?"

Regulus swinged his tail back and forth angrily as he laid on his mattress on his front legs, even rolling his eyes at his dumb friends as they continued to tease him with his brand-new look. It wasn't like he could talk in that form, but he was so goddamn sure that his eyes gave his thoughts away. What started this conversation and the endless teasing from his friends was that Regulus could now transform into his Animagus form.

Which was a black cat. A cute and cuddly one, as Pandora said while scratching his ears as Barty and Evan made fun of him for being soft. He hissed at them loudly, showing his sharp claws as a silent threat as he nuzzled closer to the sweater under his paws, full of your smell and perfume as a little happy smile found his face, watching Pandora who had been petting him as she chastised the other two in the room.

But it did nothing to help.

Since when it did anyways? Nothing could stop those idiots...

Barty and Evan let out a bark as they rolled on their bed, Barty crouching down with his hands on his knees in front of Pandora who had been sitting down on the ground, shaking her head for him not to do anything that would anger Regulus.

But, as usual, Barty didn't care, and dramatically wiped a fake tear from his eye as he offered his forefinger to Regulus, who had been eyeing him with bored eyes and an evil plan, wondering if it was obvious on his cat face as he imagined the delight he would feel.

"Awww, look at our little Reggie! So angry and deadly, with his little claws and teeth~ You are so soft now, so cuddly that I can just-AHHH!"

But of course, Regulus' personality didn't change just because he turned into a cat and since everyone practically knew not to call him that name... Well, except for his lovely lover you, and Barty still did it...

It was only fair for him to bite his finger and claw at his face.

"And that's what happens when you mess with Regulus, Barty. He is still the same friend we have that absolutely hates to be teased and that's what you get..." Pandora sighed out as she rose up, passing by them in the common room as she got out. She didn't care about the screaming behind her, Evan cackling on the ground about "how Barty got bitten by a kitten" while the boy tried to convince him that "it was a literal cheetah that bit him and not a kitten" as if his cooings and awes weren't the reason behind that cat's anger.

Well, he warned him that he didn't like that nickname so he had it coming, right?

Regulus nuzzled deeper into Pandora's arms as the young girl giggled, smiling to herself at seeing her friend happy as he always was whenever he had that special clothing close to him. "Don't worry, Regulus... I know Y/N is in the Great Hall, preparing you food again. So, I'll take you to your precious lover~"

And if his face couldn't show the possible blush on his face and how comedically wide his eyes were, the way he jumped up and kneaded your sweater that he found in his room after stealing it definetly did the job.

His heart beated harder at the thought of seeing you, preparing him a plate with a cute frown and possibly cursing at him for not caring about his health as you made little talk with your friends here and there...

He always knew he was one hell of a lucky guy for finding someone like you. So caring and loving and supporting...

All his life, Regulus never had known love or care. At least not from his mother and her twisted way of showing love and his father's abuse. All he had, for the longest time, was his brother and even then, he never thought he could have more, deserved more.

More of that love and affection he craved.

So, after pinning after you since the firs year, he finally had the courage of asking you out... Even if he didn't want to think back to that day because of the high stuttering of his, a sign of how nervous he was and how important you were to him.

Because that mother and father of his might have failed at showing what true love means, he had plenty of times to secretly read all about romantic books and witness it with his own mind and heart. He often thought that they weren't real, that the author went overboard with all the struggles and fights the main characters went through for the love they shared with each other, strong enough to stand against every strong wind, army or even death.

He questioned whether love was worth it all, when he wanted something serene and comforting. He was done with all the fights anyways, he didn't want any of those any more.

He deserved that at least, right?

But soon, he realized that not everyone is like his parents. Not every relationship is disasterous with the fights and disagreements... They are what makes it stronger and more powerful, with every hardship that comes.

He learnt that without those waves and little obstacles in the way, the comforting relationship and tender love he desperately needed would never be his.

So, he gulped down his worries and confessed his love to you, in one of the many times that you two hung out in the Astronomy Tower. By that time, you were already aware of his feelings by the way he was so soft with you and actually seeked to spend more time with you throughout your days together.

Besides, you were sure Regulus didn't spend his time taking girls to watch stars as he rambled about each of them while subconsciously holding your hand.

But then... Another problem arose: Showing his affections, a basic need of a relationship in his eyes.

Because, as any sane person could tell, Regulus didn't have the healthiest of relationship with his parents even though he knew what they... had between each other was far from love. He knew he would never dare, and rather kill himself, to do any of the things they did to each other to you. He knew he wanted to hold you, kiss you, openly show his love, the way his eyes shone brighter at the sight of you as you skipped to him was enough of a sign...

But he knew he wouldn't be able to bear all the teasing his friends and his brother, with whom he recently fixed his relationship, would do.

And he hated himself for thinking like that, doing the exact opposite of what he wanted to do when you didn't deserve it at all. He didn't want you to think that he was ashamed of you, which you never did and gold him that it was fine he didn't declare his love out all the time like a certain older brother of his and knew he loved you through his actions...

But it wasn't enough for him, it wasn't enough for the voices in his mind to stop.

You deserved a man who wouldn't shy away, who didn't have severe issues with himself. Someone who wasn't the item of a fucked up ideology... Someone who would be proud and confident in both himself and you, slinging an arm around you while walking and give you anything you asked for.

Perhaps a free future... Away, in a cottage with some animals...

But he was a selfish man who wanted to be that person, to be the reason of your smile and happiness every day. He just... had to find a way to show all of these thoughts and feelings.

But he was bad at it... So, why not get the help of a cute animal to see what you exactly like? And show his feelings?

"I swear to Merlin, I will strangle that boy when I see him! He disappears all the time, without eating! Who does he think he is?" You angrily turned to your friend who was eating her fries as she stopped her hand mid-air and looked at you with her eyes and mouth wide open. "What? Who?"

"Regulus, of course! That boy will give me a heart attack at one point, the other day I found him literally choking Barty because of that nickname again!" You angrily scoffed as you dumped more food like an angry mother, but your friend only laughed because of the twitch of your lips upwards.

"Yeah, but you love him and his special treatment, no?" She wiggled her brows as she continued to eat and you sighed out in bliss, a loving and stupid smile plastering on your face.

And yes, yes you loved him and his stupid grin whenever he teased you and his sweet smile as he watched you do your own thing.

But it wasn't enough of a reason to not to scold him when you see him as soon as possible.

"Maybe. And yes, I very much so am in love with him but I'll strangle him anyways... He promised to not pick up fights and take care of himself better- Oh, hi Pandora!"

You turned fast to where the bubbly girl was coming to your way, excitedly waving at her when your eyes landed on... the cutest ball of sunshine on her arms.

"Hi, Y/N! I see that you are... agitated?" She snorted to herself as she saw how you changed your mood at the sight of the cat between her arms as you nodded absentmindedly to her, waving off her question while scratching the little cat's chin with a stupid smile on your face. It was a known fact around the school how weak you were to them, and also your boyfriend.

With you both being smitten with each other, y'know?

Unknown to you though, that cat was the boy you loved, and he was soaking all the love in like a sponge. He was grinning from ear to ear, as much as a cat would be able to do, and he jumped down from where he was seated between Pandora's arms and flunged himself up towards your legs, pawing at them to make you cuddle him.

Patheatic, his inner voice said but he answered with I love her so bad....

"Well, it seems that our friend loves you very much!" She wiggled her brows playfully as you giggled, not aware of the daggers the cat, Regulus, was giving to your dear friend. Pandora didn't care though, she knew he never meant any of those stares and besides, that was exactly the moment for her to leave him with you so that he could get his head out of his arse and see how much you loved him and didn't care if he showed his love around people or not.

Because, by the state he was in, he didn't know shit about the extend of your love for him.

"Then, I will leave you with him! Don't worry he is very docile and easygoing, I'm sure you two will get along well! Goodbye!"

"Wait, Pandora- Wow, she left so soon..." you mumbled in thought as you looked down at the cat still pawing at your legs with wide blue eyes, his pupils almost so big that his eyes couldn't be seen as he meowed softly to you.

"Aww, don't worry I won't leave you! But I was going to visit my careless boyfriend who forgot to eat, again..." you kneeled on the ground with a playful scowl as you took him between your arms, cooing at the loud purr he let out as he nuzzled deeper in you. "I think he will like you too, what do you say? Hmm?"

Yeah, love, considering the fact that it's me... I think I will like myself enough...

Throughout the walk to your boyfriend's dorm, you kept the same big smile on your face as you kept looking down at the cat and squeezed his cheeks with your fingers. Cuteness agression is really something, you thought as he looked around the familiar sight of the door to his house's common room. He started to whine and get angsty a little bit, not wanting this "cuddle session" to come to an end.

"Don't worry, little one! I'm not leaving, I will sit here until Reg comes back and probably beg him to let me have you all to myself..."

He meowed in response, wincing under his breath at how this was the only way to communicate with you. Love, you already has that cat to yourself...

You smiled softly as the cat sniffed Regulus' bed and jumped on it, circling around himself until he found a good position and stared at you expectantly. You smiled back at the cat and turned your back to him to set the food down on his desk. Suddenly staring at the dark sky outside and seeing how long has it been that you last saw Regulus, you sighed sadly, wondering when he will be back and whether you should get out of his dorm before his friends arrived or not.

Sensing your sudden sadness, Regulus immediately jumped up and meowed at you hurriedly. Even as a cat, he was weak for your sadness and immediately alerted.

"Hmm? Oh nothing, little guy... Just wondering when my boyfriend will come and finally start to take care of himself." You laughed when he hissed softly and almost seemed like he was pointing at the bed. "You want me to lay down?"

A barely-there nod.

"Okay... I think I can use some rest. Scoot over..." you shuffled on the bed as its silky feeling engulfed you, resulting with you letting out a relieved sigh as the cat purred happily over your chest. You trailed a soft finger down his spine and up towards his face, your hand patting him while holding him as if he was a baby.

And he freaking loved it, loved the feeling of safety of your arms.

And obviously, when cats were happy, they purred loudly.

"Hmm? Oh, you like me? I like you too, little guy! You're so cute and so elegant with your black fur and shiny, blue eyes." Regulus purred even more loudly as he nestled on your chest, bumping his head to your chin, and neck as a way of marking you. You giggled at the cat, actually your possessive boyfriend, and continued to play with the playful cat as he made several cute moves with his body and eyes.

His behaviour surprised you, since you thought black cats were mostly grumpy and "I show affection ONLY when I want to, human." kind of animals. But this one....

This one didn't even leave your side for the whole day and instead laid on your lap, purring at every chance he had. Somewhere in a muggle book, you remembered reading that a cat's purring often touches the paternal part in one's brain and that's why humans care for them a lot.

Which was goddamn right, even if it was the same frequency of a baby crying. But though a baby's cry was often irritating with its high pitch, a cat's purr was comforting.

Another reason to convince Regulus to adopt kittens for when you left the school, and settled in an apartment as soon as possible.

"And you remind me of someone I reaaally love, y'know? I'm sure he would like to have you... Don't tell him this, but you are now my favourite thing in the world!"

Wait... Wait, wait, wait! What? That was so offensive! A cat, who you knew for a few hours, took your favourite place?!

"Meowwww!"

Nope, he couldn't let it happen! The plan wasn't even this!

"Hmm? What's wrong, did I say something bad?" You wondered as the cat you adored suddenly turned pissy, throwing what you assumed as "cat tantrums" after whatever you said that triggered him. Regulus, though, started to pace around the bed nervously. You tilted your head in confusion as the cat he jumped up and tugged on your robes to make you get up.

Yeah, cats definetly have God-complex...

"Okay, okay, fine! I'm up, I seriously don't know what... is... wrong..." your jaw hung open with your eyes wide when the black cat you adored and showed immense love to was... None other than your boyfriend.

"Regulus?"

"Hi, love..." he shyly looked at you as his hand caressed his face tiredly, tugging on the skin as he grumbled at the stinging pain on his back while trying to relieve himself from the pain. "Damn it, my spine hurts..."

"What... I don't understand, you have been the cat?! All this time?" You pointed to him with your hands in surprise, still not believing that the cat was your boyfriend who apparently learnt to become an animagus.

"Yeah, I was the cat..."

"But... why? Don't get me wrong, I'm proud of you for achieving becoming an animagus," he smiled softly at how you didn't miss the opportunity of praising him for his accomplishment, and he couldn't help but wonder at how easy it was for you to see past the fact that he hid something from you. He expected you to be angry for hiding it, but you were just... confused?

Why?

"But why did you hide it? I mean, it's a pretty big deal and your cat form was so beatiful with your little paws, soft fur and big eyes- I'm starting to loose the point of the talk, so please... explain."

He laughed when you finished your rant with a blushing face, looking at him with a flustered face as you waited. He knew you wouldn't judge, Merlin knew you never did, so he sat down on his bed and patted the area next to him.

"Because... I didn't know what else to do to show you." You continued to look at him confused for a second, occasionally side eyeing the room as if a clue would suddenly appear and lighten whatever that was going on right now.

"Well, it's only logical to show me rather than throwing random bottles on the ground... But I think you don't mean you, being a liquid-"

"Cats are not liquid, love..." Regulus sighed lovingly as you knitted your brows and playfully shook your head before laying a kiss on his cheek. "No, they are! They fit into anything possible even an asymetrical glass box!"

"When did you see a cat do that?"

"My sibling's cat... Though it could be because it is weird..."

He laughed as you seriously started to wonder whether what you said about the cat was true or not, and pulled you to himself by your shoulders. He was grateful you changed the subject after noticing he was slightly uncomfortable but...

He had to be honest after spending the whole day with you, and seeing what Pandora said about you and how much stronger your love was for him.

Because he finally knew, he didn't have to be a cat spy to show you his love.

"As much as my heart feels like it could explode with love from you noticing I was uncomfortable and tried to change the subject," you smiled bashfully as you blinked your eyes at him, not stopping him. He sighed once before keep going. " I did it to show you... how much I love you and show my affection in the only way I knew."

You would have cut him in the middle but by the slight wavering of his voice, you knew that it was something he had to get off of himself... That this conversation was important for him in every way possible.

So you listened... And with every word passing his lips, your eyes softened for the fragile and soft-hearted boy next to you.

"I never knew love, I never knew how to love and show it freely. Mom and dad saw it as a weakness, others saw it as some inconvenience... Sirius was the only one I have, and even then, he was the one expressing his feelings freely. Not me. I always did it silently... Taking care of Sirius' injuries after mother punished him or dad beat him. I did it by stealing his favourites from the kitchen or learning how to make them when my parents weren't home...."

A deep sigh, one that told many unsaid stories and feelings.

" Then I showed it with taking notes for my friends when they weren't able to attend classes. I showed it by taking care of their many injuries that definetly weren’t a result of training but rather... abuse. Merlin knows, I know those kind of bruises like the back of my hand. Then... But then, you came along with your shining eyes and wide smile, asking if you could sit with me in the train and suddenly... I-I wanted to be more. For you. I wanted to be enough of a man to deserve your love and show it to the whole world. Like my brother who openly hugged people, and kissed their cheeks or nuzzled to them... But soon, I was reminded that I would always be his shadow."

Silence scretchted between you as you continued looking at him, not being sure what to do now that he suddenly opened up about why he was avoiding you. You definetly didn't think your night would end up like this, even if him opening up to you was everything you wanted, but you would never be able to know that feeling.

Feeling like someone's shadow, having to endure what Regulus endured... Something he was grateful that never happened and would never happen now that you were with him.

You wouldn’t understand any of it, but you could be there for him now that he wouldn't be alone.

"You once asked me... 'Do you ever hide who you trully are?' at the side of the Black Lake in one of our nightly dates. I kept my silence then, didn't want to scare you off with my strong feelings since it was still too early but not for me who loved you for 2 year prior to that night, but... I never did, not with you, never with you. But... I never felt enough for you. I mean... How could someone as amazing as you would deserve the love of some coward? Someone who feared showing love?" He almost spitted the word "fear" as he shook his head in near disbelief at himself and how "ridiculous" he sounded, and you hated how much self-loathing he had and how easy it was for him to point that hatred to himself.

You had to change it, maybe not immediately but definetly in time.

"Regulus..." you softly rubbed his hand softly to make him look at you, and when he turned his head towards you... You saw the tears pooling in his ocean eyes. Your heart dropped to your stomach harshly as you gulped and brought his forehead down to meet yours. A silent move to convey your feelings to him.

"How could you not be enough of something you already have, from the very beginning?" You rubbed his cheek softly, bringing his face closer to yours as you kissed his eye-lids. As if you were scared to hurt him even more, when what all the world had been doing to him was hurting him.

Regulus shuddered as a shaky breath left him, suddenly overwhelmed by the weight of your words. He lifted his eyes, looked into your own that showed only one thing and only for him: Love.

"You are enough, even if you don't think so and I love you, I loved you from the beginning." A gasp left him as his hands thightened their hold on yours nervously. You laughed awkwardly. " You don't have to say it immediately but... Please, don't be so harsh on yourself. It's okay to not want to do PDA, I already told you.... All I care is your happiness, that's it."

And with that, Regulus threw himself all over you from the immense feeling he was feeling at that moment, hugging you with all his might as you returned to gesture just as fiercely. After all, it had been a long day and you missed your boyfriend, the one that would speak about Quidditch nonstop all the while letting you sleep on him as his hands caressed your hair and rubbed your back softly.

Just like now, with the adding of inhaling the scent of your hair deeply which made your heart race sweetly.

And now that the stress of him was now over and you knew what was going on...

It was time to tease him back.

"Did you just get jealous of a cat enough to come clean to me?" You mumbled from your position where your face was buried in his neck, the tingles making him giggle as a groan left him at feeling your smile on his skin.

"Love, please!"

"What? You are the one who was jealous!" You giggled playfully, but your enjoyment was soon cut when Regulus threw himself on his bed with his arms still wrapped around you. You landed harsher on his chest than you imagined and you were worried you accidently crushed him but his sigh of contentment and the way he nuzzled to your neck showed that he was far from being bad.

"I can't believe you now have a nuzzling habit, are you going to knead at me too?" You hit his chest softly when his eyes shot open and an evil smirk found his face.

Oh, that's not something good...

"I already did it earlier when I laid on your chest- Oww!"

"Regulus Arcturus Black, when did you have a foul mouth!" You hit him with his pillow as he laughed hard and ended up on the floor while trying to stop you.

"What can I say, love. I have the most gorgeous lover of all Hogwarts!"

That little shit and his sweet tongue, knowing how to get himself out of any problem...

"Okay, you got out of trouble for now... You are my favourite by the way, you always have been, in case your childish self got jealous of a cat..." you grumbled out when his head landed on your thighs and looked up at you innocently.

"That cat was still me though..." he looked at you through his lashes as you giggled, relishing on your words and how they made warmth spread all around his whole body.

"Yeah, yeah, sure... There is something I have to show you though. I was planning for a few days now. Promise to not get sad?" He nodded without knowing and guessing what was happening...

But the only thought that crossed Regulus' mind, when he saw you changing into a pure white cat, was I love her.

As you swinged your tail around Regulus' waiting hand and nuzzled to him, he smiled softly and scratched your head softly while patting your ears. His heart felt so full of love and he didn't remember any other day he felt this much happiness.

"You are... most certaintly the most beautiful yet also annoying person I know. Being a white cat Animagus, completely contrasting me but also creating something so beautiful? Did you think I will let go of you easily after this?"

You tilted your head teasingly and let out a purr before changing back into your human form with your feet dangling off of the bed like a little kid as you threw your head back towards him to look at his raised brows while he tried to surpass the smirk that threatened to take over his face.

"Yeah, I know... But you love me, no?" You cutely smiled as you nuzzled closer to his chest, and unknown to you, he smiled to himself like a fool as he wrapped his arms all around your body thightly when your body reached where he was now sitting on the bed.

Oh Merlin, he already does love everything about you.

"Can we... cuddle like that? As cats? It could be our new bonding activity!"

"I can't believe... Okay, fine. Don't try anything funny though."

"Like what?"

"Like the meaning of that wiggly eye-brows!"

But since you both were weak for each other, you two soon dozed off like that, one white and black cat tangled together peacefully as their hearts beated the same beat.

Not knowing that the next day, Barty would startle everyone awake and embrass you while yelling "Our Reggie found another chich, cat, kitten, whatever! He is cheating on our sweet Y/N!"

[multifandoms27-blog]

Hi!! I've been binge watching TFP, as I've recently just stumbled across it. And already wishing I've seen this show eariler!

May I request TFP Ratchet realizing he's fallen in love with a F/human ally? Honestly just love 'grumpy, gruff hero falls for sweet, caring love interest. But denies it at first till something happens' trope. Can be fluff/smutt. Anything you're comfy with 😊

Thanks and feel free to ignore, if your inbox is full.

Oh my God I literally love Ratchet so much, thank you for this. Finish the show and then watch the movie! I was lucky enough to watch it when it was coming out - I loved it as a kid and I love it now as an adult.

Content: TFP Ratchet x Fem! Hum! Reader

Warnings: None!

Notes: I wrote for Ratchet a lot on my old Wattpad account, or at least what I can remember of it. If anybody wants to see my cringy old writing, my username on there is the same here, Multifandoms27. I also have a four-part TFP Megatron series if anybody's interested. Also I apologize if this is shit - this is my first time writing for Ratchet in literal years so uh, hope you enjoy lol

• ───────────────── •

Ratchet usually didn't bother with the whole romance thing. He was too old for that. Even when you came into the picture, he didn't pay much attention to you. He thought humans were weak links - something that didn't belong in his world.

But through your own effort to get to know him, he slowly warmed up to you. He thought you were one of a kind - smart, funny, understood him in almost every capacity...he loved you. But he would never admit it, not even to himself.

You had been nothing but nice to him, even in the beginning when all he did was snap at you. Thats what softened him, made him draw closer to you. How could something so tiny be so kind to something so...large?

And then, when the children came and he had to grow accustomed to them, then to June and Fowler, he had realized that you had made him so accustomed to humans and made him believe he could finally...no. No, he did not love you.

...At least, that's what he told himself. Until you got hurt.

• ───────────────── •

Optimus had walked through the groundbridge, his servo raised and, for once, a solemn face. One of their own had been hurt, and Ratchet feared Miko finally had gotten hurt from chasing after Bulkhead. But, when Optimus showed him his servo, his spark nearly extinguished.

"(Y/n)! Oh, Primus, no!" He carefully took your unconscious form in his servos and called for June.

Optimus felt responsible for your state, and so he went to lock himself in his berthroom. Ratchet however, tried to assist June anyway he could. But June eventually grew too stressed trying to dress your wounds and assure Ratchet, that she finally snapped on him and told him to get out of the room.

Ratchet went to find Optimus, to ask how you had gotten so hurt. He was angry. He was so livid. How could this have happened to you? To his favorite human?

He knocked gently at first on Optimus' berthroom door. When he got no response, he began to pound on the door. "Optimus, I know you are in there!"

Slowly, the door opened. Optimus stood, staring down at his medic and long time friend. His gaze was quizzical, but he said nothing. Ratchet was even more put off by that. He began to speak. "How did she come to be like that?"

"She must have snuck through the groundbridge when none of us were looking, and-"

"Just tell me how she got this way, Optimus." Ratchet pleaded.

"Megatron was not so kind to her...that is all I'll say, for your sake." Optimus spoke, sadness lacing his tone.

Ratchet grew enraged. "And you couldn't protect her?! Primus, Optimus! You have had more than one chance to defeat Megatron, yet you stand here, sad as an Earth puppy who got kicked, while my (Y/n) is getting torn apart by the most tyrannical Cybertronian in our history! How could you?!"

Optimus sighed and looked off to the side. "Goodnight, Ratchet. We will speak in the morning."

Ratchet protested, but the Prime had already shut himself back in his room. Grumbling, he turned to find all three children staring from around the corner, accompanied by Bumblebee. He grumbled more. "What are you looking at?!"

Bumblebee whirred that you were awake. Ratchet blinked and rushed back into the medbay, where sure enough, you laid there awake and groaning in pain. June looked up and saw Ratchet once more.

"I administered some pain meds just now. She should be okay in about twenty minutes. Her wounds are all dressed." June backed away. "Do you want me to uh..."

"Yes, please." Ratchet waited for June to leave before kneeling next to you. "How are you feeling?"

"...Could be worse." You laughed, then cringed in pain.

"I'm not sure how much worse you could be. I hear you survived Megatron. Well done, sweetspark."

"Sweetspark? That's a new one." You chuckle this time, careful not to create a big pain response like before.

Ratchet blinked in surprise. "D-Did I say that? I meant-"

"It's okay, Ratch." You grinned and placed a hand on his large servo. "I know what you mean."

Ratchet stopped, then slowly and softly smiled down at you. Yes, you always understood him in some capacity...but not every one. You could never pick up on how much he loved you.

Yes, he loved you.

• ───────────────── •

Here's my Transformers masterlist in case you wanna request something!

[songbirdseung]

i did it first / park jongseong

where cute, playful, and innocent arguments with your boyfriend are welcomed and appreciate as they lead into the sweetest moments genre fluff, established relationship

as you and jay walk back to the car after your date, the cool evening air still carrying the warmth of your laughter and lingering touches, you can’t help but feel a little smug. tonight had been perfect—dinner at your favorite restaurant, a walk along the river, and now a comfortable car ride back home. but as soon as you both climb in and buckle up, jay’s signature teasing smirk reappears, and you already know what’s about to happen.

“you know you’re wrong, right?” jay starts, his voice playful, throwing a quick glance your way as he starts the engine. “i definitely loved you first.”

you roll your eyes, half-expecting this after a night like tonight. "oh, please. there is no way that’s true. i’m the one who fell for you first!"

jay laughs under his breath, pulling out onto the road. "y/n, you can tell yourself whatever makes you feel better, but we both know i fell first. you didn’t even realize i existed at first."

crossing your arms, you lean back in your seat, your competitive side already on high alert. "are you kidding me? i knew exactly who you were. remember that time i ‘accidentally’ bumped into you in the library? that was totally planned, just so i could talk to you.”

he gives you a side-eye, the corners of his mouth quirking up. "oh yeah? well, i noticed you way before that. i was already into you the first time you asked me what time class started. you literally already knew, but i could tell you just wanted to talk to me."

"and you think that means you fell first?" you ask, raising an eyebrow. "i strategically sat near you during every lunch period! i even switched friend groups just to get closer to you."

jay shakes his head, smiling as he recalls those moments. "okay, but who was the one who went out of his way to offer you help in chemistry? even though i was just as lost as you were?"

you can’t help but laugh at that memory, your attempts to look like you understood the periodic table just as hopeless as jay’s. "oh, please. that was nothing compared to when i pretended i needed help with my project just so i could come over to your place.”

jay glances over at you, raising his eyebrows. "you did know how to finish that project, didn’t you?"

“of course i did! but i wanted an excuse to spend time with you,” you admit with a playful smile, knowing that your antics back then were nothing short of ridiculous.

“remember the time i stayed up all night baking cookies for your birthday? that definitely means i was in love with you before you even had a clue.”

“those cookies were good, but come on, y/n,” jay says, grinning as he keeps his eyes on the road. “i was the one who found out your favorite drink at that coffee shop you went to every morning, and then i ‘just so happened’ to show up there at the same time.”

"oh please, anyone could’ve done that," you shoot back, laughing. “i took hours picking out your birthday gift that year. i went to three different stores to find something you’d like.”

jay's laugh bubbles up, shaking his head. "okay, fine. but do you remember when i walked you home in the rain after class, even though i didn’t have an umbrella and was soaked by the time we got to your place?"

you bite your lip, remembering that moment vividly. you had felt guilty for days afterward, thinking he’d catch a cold just because he didn’t want you to walk home alone. "alright, that was sweet, but it still doesn’t prove you loved me first."

jay rolls his eyes playfully. "yes, it does. i was the one who volunteered to carry your books every day even though you insisted you didn’t need help.”

"oh, so now you’re just gonna keep using the ‘nice guy’ routine?" you tease, unable to stop the grin spreading across your face. "because i waited for you outside your basketball practices just to see you for like five seconds."

“and i,” jay interjects, “started wearing cologne because you once told me that you liked how a guy smelled when he walked by in class. i literally changed my entire scent just for you.”

you burst out laughing at his confession. "are you serious? i had no idea! that’s actually kinda cute.”

“yeah, well, i was pretty obsessed with you,” jay admits, a sheepish grin on his face.

as you both make your way to the front door, the conversation picks right back up, neither of you ready to let the other win. the entire way up the stairs to your apartment, you continue to volley back and forth, trying to outdo each other’s arguments with more memories and playful jabs.

“i showed up to your first big presentation, remember? i even sat through two hours of boring speeches just to support you,” you say, sliding off your shoes by the door.

jay follows closely behind, grinning. "well, i drove two hours to surprise you at that concert you were dying to go to, even though i hate crowds."

you stop in the middle of the hallway, turning to face him. “oh, so now it’s a contest of who made the biggest sacrifice?”

jay laughs, leaning against the wall, arms crossed as he watches you. "well, if it is, then i’m winning. i literally skipped out on a game with my friends just to hang out with you at that café. and i never miss game night.”

you shake your head, feeling your heart swell at how much effort he had put in. "okay, fine. but remember the time i took care of you when you got sick? i stayed up all night just to make sure you were okay.”

jay smirks, stepping closer to you. "and who was the one who brought you soup when you had that horrible cold and couldn’t get out of bed?"

"you did," you admit with a smile. "but that still doesn’t mean you loved me first."

jay takes another step closer, his grin softening into something sweeter, more intimate. "you really want to keep this going, huh?”

you nod, crossing your arms and trying to look defiant, even though your heart is racing.

“fine,” jay says, his voice dropping to a teasing whisper as he stands right in front of you now, eyes locked with yours. “there’s only one way to settle this.”

before you can respond, he gently cups your face in his hands, his lips meeting yours in a soft, lingering kiss that melts away any lingering debate between you. his kiss is warm and sweet, like a silent reminder of how much he loves you, whether he fell first or not.

when he finally pulls away, you’re both smiling, breathless but content.

"now will you admit that i loved you first?" he asks, his forehead resting gently against yours.

you laugh, shaking your head slightly. "not a chance."

jay chuckles, pulling you into his arms as he hugs you tightly. "fine. as long as you know i love you now."

“that,” you whisper, snuggling into his chest, "i know for sure."

and with that, the playful argument fades away and whoever fell first be damned.

[mehiwilldoitlater]

"Get your dirty hands off me! LET GO OF ME!"

"Listen Brother! We must act with respect! We have a lady in our hands!"

The two yaoguais kept on laughing while they were dragging you somewhere, far away from your friend and protector.

Everything happened so fast that you couldn't register the events: the Destined One, and you had to head to the location of the second relic, which you knew was in this desert. It seems easy at first; you thought that you just needed to be as careful as the last time, but something went wrong!

How could you not notice those scouts?! Maybe they were more used to the state of the place; maybe the dust covered the smell for your friend; what you know Is that in a couple of minutes your monkey was now on the ground, his chest pierced with arrows, agonizing yes, but still alive! You tried to help him with the gourd that you carried with you with your healing wine, but before that, those rats had already captured you. You kept on struggling and fighting as much as you could, but instead they had other plans for you.

"Our second prince will love this snack! I heard that this one is a really good catch."

"Ah! Please! Maybe he'll give us a bite!"

They were planning to give you for lunch to their prince. 

If it was them or him, you didn't care; what you did care was to survive and help your monkey out of that mess.

You were so focused on trying to break free from care where they were dragging you, but you started to think that it must have been an indoor when the scorching sun wasn't burning your head anymore.

It looked like a cave, maybe a temple inside the mountain based on the carvings on the walls. Columns made of pure stone, stalagmites, and stalactites decorated with sacred figures and prayers, commemorative candles near statues of Buddha and his disciples.

The ones that built the city must have used the caves in order to obtain more spaces, maybe?

You didn't get enough chance to ask since the two rats didn't show any kindness when they literally threw you on the ground.

"Shouldn't we... I don't know...cook her or something?"

"Ah! The prince and the king live their food fresh and squirmy! Now let's go; he doesn't like being seen while he eats."

And while you were Just pick up yourself from the ground, you Heard their soft and fast footsteps, leaving you in this new side of the cave. There were objects, quite a lot even, all of them around, like some small mountains of trinckets and stuff.

Furniture was around, but those were so damaged and old that you questioned if someone could even use it like that. On the walls of the cave, someone had put some decoration—canvases that had almost lost all of their colors, rusted weapons that were long lost—lost the care that they used to, for the exception of a scary giant Chui that was resting on the ground, ready to be picked.

Whoever was able to hold it must have been a quite herculean creature.

There was such a short source of light, coming from one hole in the ceiling of the wall and...from the way they took you in! There was no door, no bars, nothing! 

You didn't want to waste anymore time, and so you sprinted in the same direction that the two rats had left you, until a rumble on your feet almost tripped you for the second time.

There was another, then another one. 

Footstep, something big was walking towards you.

Two giant feet, covered in fur and some claws that you swear could rip apart your flesh, incased you. The armor was old and marred but still held some remembrance of his rank and position in his kingdom.

A large and long tail and a pointy mout... it was a rat, but it was grotesquely big. His yellow eyes scrutinized you, while his nose was sniffing the air in your direction.

Without thinking twice, you bolted so fast to escape from that thing, but you didn't get enough time since he was fast enough to grab you from your ankle and raise you up like an old ragged doll. You tried to kick it, scratch it, and try to punch it, but he didn't budge a little; it was like a mosquito bite for him.

"LET ME GO! STOP!"

Despite your plea, he just stood there, looking at you and sniffing more closely. A few of your hair sucked in his nostrils, and so I kept it up for a few more seconds. You couldn't see it, but it seemed... curious. He decided to change your position, holding you by your waist, trying to see you better from another angle.

You were beyond terrorized; from near, he was even worse! AND THAT SMELL! You shivered in his grasp, too afraid to move another punch or kick while he studied you. He finally stopped moving when your face hit a direct ray of sunlight from the hole in the ceiling. You gasped, tried to cover yourself, and then...the ground. 

He didn't tossed you at all; he just putted you down. It was incredible to notice that you didn't even feel any pain in your abdomen from where he had grasped you. At that point, he just started to emit something that reminded you of some kind of giggle, a few snorts, and he looked...excited? He trotted to one of the small trinkets stacked near the bed that you assumed was his own. starting to move things around.

He was distracted. That was your chance! You slowly start to pick it up from where you left it to get out from there, when you felt again his enormous hand on your back, grasping the back of your shirt from behind, rising you up again like a kitten.

"Stop it! I don't-"

And then, again, you were seated...in front of what once was maybe a nice tea set. His throat was emitting a strange sound while he started a small fire and put a big iron pot of water on it. He was...humming...while making tea? And there were two pairs of small cups, old and dusty, and one was for you?

You didn't muttered a word, preferring to stare at that strange creature that was now putting some dried herbs; you wondered if it was even tea in the pot, still very small for something of his size.

"Wha...what are...you doing?"

"Making tea...for the guest!"

Okay, now it was a really good moment to freak out; he thought you were a guest?! HIS GUEST?! 

"I thought you were supposed to..."

You held your tongue, reminding him about the fact that you were lunch for him; it may be quite a problem. You tried another time to move away, but suddlenly got back in place when some kind of conckut was versed in your cup. A few big drops spilled; he wasn't so versatile in this.

And then he looked at you. No, staring. He was there, staring at you, waiting for a response, and you looked at the staff in your cup. Imagine the food infection that it would cause. You kept on staring at it, trying to come up with every possible excuse to avoid the ingestion of the brooth, but three meters Yaogauis don't leave room for so many options. You gulped the content of the cup, trying to hold the near vomit coniate.

",..Gee...thanks...that was...so nice! .....Thanks..."

Oh was... please, like a lot. He started to clap, happy, drinking directly from the pot.

After that, he started again to act strangely. But this time it wasn't about taking care of the guest, but just...pile up staff...on you.

He made sure that you were comfortable, as much as you were, but his actions reminded you of a child that is showing you staff. At some point he even tried to put a necklace around your neck, but your sudden shriek made him desist, only for him to put the garmet in your hand. It was an old and broken jade pearl necklace; maybe there was a pendant in the middle since the space, but it was long gone. The small gems were broken or ruined, but it seemed to be once a really nice piece of jewelry.

At some point, your fear just became boredom and hassle, especially when he kept on showing you staff. At some point, what really caught your eye was a rectangular piece of wood that had previously fallen from one of the piles next to you. Covered in dust and mud, it must have seen better time, but, on the front, something was still visible: it was a piece of paper plastered with something on the wood, and, on it, three figures standing, one sitting in the center of it. The three standing figures seemed young, each of them with something to distinguish them from each other, the one sitting on a small chair wearing instead some regal robes.

"Ah, a painting...why did you keep it with you? Do you like drawing?"

The rat suddenly stopped, pointing his finger towards you and the draw.

"Me! Me and brothers! And my papa too! You found it, so good."

He seemed delighted, clapping his hands and making again those strange sounds. You, instead, cannot stop looking at the drawing confused. Him? Wait...one of them had a Chui next to him, and some traits, by using a lot of imagination, made him similar to your gaoler.

"Wait...this is you? You are him?!"

You pointed the figure, and he just...nodded, vigurusly.

"But," you continued, "how?! How it happened?! You were a man! How did you become a... Yaoguai?"

You said, avoiding using the word rat, opting to not make remarks on his looks further. 

"Master!" He just chirped "Master! He did it! Everyone rats now! Little brother left, searching for help for turning in rats...still missing...older brother...not so good...he acts violent...daddy like master! So I follow too! ....But not like, like, daddy."

"Master?...what master?"

"Sage! Wind sage!"

"Hold on, the...the yellow wind sage did this to you?" He kept on nodding; this time it was slower than before; maybe it was something that he wasn't proud of?

"Did it hurt you? I mean,. you didn't have a tail before. It was painful. I'm...sorry..." Your tone was softer this time, wondering how much pain that poor creature must have endured all this time. He seemed to be remembering his old life as a man; maybe, by having you in, he tried to recreate some old habits of him? Did you remind him of someone that he had lost? He didn't even try to eat you at all; he was just being nice.

He kept on looking at you, sensing the change in the room after this knowledge, and he just...poke you. You looked at him, raising an eyebrow. Was he trying to cheer you up?

"Even rat, help Daddy! Master will be back, Daddy happy, and finally Daddy will notice my work! Me protect people from tigers! Not many thanks, but still do!"

And now you felt worse! How could someone say so casually that their father doesn't give them enough credits?! He was just a big guy. Yaogaus truly were strange, from some friendly horses to a rat prince.

"I'm sorry to know that you have to endure all of this... But, you know, me and my friend, we're searching for AH!"

Trying to understand this creature, trying to get a chance to flee, and trying to not faint for fear made you forget the first reason why you were there in the first place. You rose from your spot, causing him to back away in surprise.

"The relic! The wind sage...MONKEY!"

You put down the cup; how could you stay here taking tea while your friend was somewhere pierced by who knows how many arrows?! You started to move away from there, trying not to fall from the various junk that he had put around you.

"I'm sorry! I need to leave! My friend needs me; I need to help him! I AGH!"

When he grabbed you, this time he was more scared and aprehensive, trying to stop you from your exit.

"No! You must stay! Other kill and eat, I protect and care! You too, nice! You stay!"

The fight that you left before restarted again, this time with much more vigor from you. You won't have let your friend die in that dump place!

"Put me down! I don't want to stay here with you! LET ME GO!"

His attempt to keep you in place resulted in both his giant hands holding you and trying to keep your kicking feet away from his face. He was starting to panic. Why did you have to leave?!

The struggle continued, and both of you did not notice a figure approaching fastly in your direction until you just heard a huge STOMP. The rat started to move around like a drunk man, then collapsed in a huge cloud of dust and sand. This time, you didn't have to taste the ground since two strong arms were ready to capture your fall.

"You look like you were in need of assistance, my Bián huá!"

"...Monkey!"

His furry face welcomed you once you opened your eyes from the fall with a smile and, instinctively, you launched your arms around his neck for an hug. But you remembered his wounds at the last moment.

"AH! I'm sorry! Your wounds!"

"I'm fine! See? Not a scratch!"

He showed you his chest, untouched and without trace of any wounds or arrows.

"But I saw it... Did the healing wine help you?"

"Not exactely. I've found a helping hand that...

Will let you lose your head!"

"...it's strangely specific."

He just laughed it off but regained his seriousness once he heard some moan of pain from the rat Yaogaui in front of him. He let you down, then took back his staff. 

"Wait!" He looked at you surprised. "Let's just leave him. You gave him a concussion already. I don't think he'll be a problem soon."

"All right, I don't know what happened here, but you look like you had a blast. Let's move now; more rats will come after the commotion!"

You nodded, but you still looked back at the prince with the same sorry expression from before.

"I'm sorry. It's an urgent matter. I promise to apologize better when we'll take the relic. Thank you!"

And so you and the Destined One left hand in hand the cave, noticing in a rush moment the look of pain in the prince's eyes. You wondered if the pain was for his head or something else.

@sleepingdramaqueen

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@everlastingmoonlightsworld

@biankanoir

@cromboloni

@miraclecherryblossomsblog

@masksandfeathers

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@sleepydang

[obae-me]

The Reunion We Deserved

I said I would do it and so I did, all in one night, one sitting, fueled by nothing but determination, random inspiration, and spite. I re-wrote and created my version of what I would've liked to see at the end of Nightbringer Season 2. Is this a bit dramatic? Yes? Is this the kind of thing I wanted anyway? Yes. I want sobbing, I want people being pathetic, I want emotion, I want it all. So, if that's what you were hoping to see for lesson 40, I hope this can ease some of that anger we had.

Spoilers ahead for Nightbringer since this is quite literally my "remaking" of the ending, which includes in-game references to later lessons!

TW: Blood mention, injury, angst.

Word Count: 4,391

Tears pricked your eyes as you looked upon the several smiling faces of the demons you had come to care for. At the beginning, all you could think of was returning to your home, your time-line, your brothers. You had coped thus far by constantly reminding yourself that these were not the same people you had come to know. But now… after delving into their souls, reforging the pacts, fleeing down the different circles of hell to save one only to nearly lose them all… they’d found their way into your heart once more. How could you? How could you leave them so easily? And tell them to their faces that you’d meet again soon when you knew it was a lie. It might be soon for you, but it would be nearly an eternity for them. Not to mention that the way Solomon and Barbatos described it, this was almost like another universe… Would another version of you show up for them? Or would you leave these particular brothers for good?…

Feet frozen in sorrow and anxiousness, you could only look at them and cry. What were you feeling in this very second, now that you were on the cusp of what you had worked so hard for? The way back home was right above you, the air and magic inches away from sucking you up into it’s mystical vacuum. Your precious family, your home was one step away. So why did it also feel like your heart was being torn from you? “I—“ Your words choked up in your throat. You were tempted to tell them everything right there and then, spill the burden you had been carrying on your shoulder this entire time.

“It’ll be alright,” Lucifer spoke up, seeing your worry, but exuding nothing but confidence himself. “I gave you my blessing after all.”

“Plus, with the Great Mammon’s pact, you’re hella lucky! You’ll get home with no problems, I’d bet on it! S-So you better not make me lose, got it? Get home safe…and happy.”

Levi shook his head a little. “You’d bet on anything wouldn’t you…” But then he turned his head back towards you, nearly just as bold as Lucifer in this one moment. “If someone like me can have courage, you can too. Don’t worry! You’re just like a Main Character! You have indestructible plot armor!”

“Did everyone already forget the white dragon I helped summon?” Satan scoffed. “Their safety and success is guaranteed. So don’t give us that face,” he addressed you.

“Besides!” Asmo perked up. “If anything happened we’d all come rushing to save you! Just like we did for Lucifer. If we can do that, we can do anything! Oo, I just said something real dashing just now! You better take that to heart, hun!”

Beel nodded several times. “You have Luke’s wish egg too. I also made wishes over my eggs at breakfast this morning. I wished for you to always feel healthy and full and loved. And that we’d get to see each other again soon.”

“Those eggs might’ve tasted magical Beel, but they weren’t really…” Belphie looked up his twin as he shook his head, but then he shrugged, coming to the conclusion that it wasn’t worth explaining. “Hey,” he stared at you. “Don’t waste your energy crying now. You’ll need all your strength for your journey. I won’t forgive you if you leave too sad.”

All their words ended up making you laugh, the smile across your face twitching as you worked to force out trembling words. “You all better be kind to one another.” Someone behind you was tugging on your arm. “And make sure you don’t tease Luke too hard.”

“Come on,” Solomon whispered softly to you, tugging you a little harder, making you take a few steps back. The rift in space-time started to roar, attempting to drown out your voice as you struggled for these last few seconds.

“And make sure you all remember to eat and sleep properly. A-and, tell the others at the ceremony that I love them. I… love you all so much.”

“We have to go…” Solomon’s voice sounded tense, like he was nearly ready to cry himself, only keeping himself strong for you. Wrapping an arm around your waist, he nearly hoisted you back himself. Before you left, you reached into the pocket of your pants, fishing out the letter that you had written alone in your old room, what seemed like forever ago now, the one still stained with old tears. You tossed it to the ground in front of you, hoping they would read it, hoping it would help…them live without you.

The last thing you heard was a chorus of cracking voices, getting cut off before they could tell you they loved you too…

And then you were gone. A harsh and forceful wind seemed to suck all the air from your breath. It was almost as if you were being plunged underwater, several forces of pressure from the thousands of years you were swirling past was threatening to crush you. The only sensation you were aware of was Solomon’s. His arms were holding onto you tightly, continuing to mutter spells over and over and over again to keep you safe, expending all of his waining power to push you both through the folds of reality and out on the other side.

Gravity. Disorientation. Falling. A heavy weight slammed against your chest so hard, you wondered if your ribs cracked. The back of your head hit something firm. Everything went black for a while.

After who knows how long, your eyes opened again, staring straight up into the Devildom sky, the shifted stars more familiar to you. Your head was splitting with pain, your breath a wheeze as you glanced down to see Solomon’s limp body keeping you pinned against the ground.

“S-Solomon?” It took a short while for the panic to settle in. “Solomon!” After a moment of struggling, you managed to get him off of you, setting him on his back in the grassy plane you had been spat back out onto. His face looked drained. A chant left the base of your throat, using the last scrap of magic you had to give him a spell to reinvigorate his body. His eyes shot open, coughing as he rolled over onto his side, pushing himself up onto his arms before he fell down again. “Take it easy!” Together, using each other as support, you both got back up to your feet.

“I’m sorry…I had meant to deliver us right in front of the House of Lamentation, but…”

“You did alright,” you assured him, rubbing his back to keep his dizzy mind conscious. “A bit of a rough landing, but we’re alive…” But then, the better question was… “Are we—“

“There you are.” A calm voice manifested itself as a demon in front of you. Barbatos stepped out of a portal, his expression nearly as neutral as ever, except there was something in his eyes that was shining, a strange tremor to his hand that was completely unnatural for someone as him. Then he frowned as he took in the state of both of you, his nostrils flaring as he took the both of you with him, each with one gloved hand. You were pulled into a much less chaotic rift this time. Although the jolt was still enough to nearly cause both you and the sorcerer to fall back to your knees. Before that could happen though, you were shoved into a bed.

The guest rooms of the castle appeared the same as always, but something in particular felt nostalgic, like you’d just returned to a childhood home. Solomon appeared to be ushered into a bed right by your side, both your minds too rattled to resist, as the butler threw open the guest room door from the inside and summoned nearly every Little D in the entire building. “I need human medication, bandages, two sets of pajamas, the herbal tea I set aside in the kitchen. I need the oven preheated, the counter prepared, two trays set, and need them all done within the next two minutes.” There was a very subtle raise to his voice, the seriousness of his tone sending a chill down your spine and sending every Little D scattering for their lives. Barbatos spent one second observing them flee before he dissipated once more, getting wisked away through another portal of his own making.

This all felt…so surreal. Perhaps it was the pain that you were in that was making it feel like a dream. Like you’d wake up in Cocytus Hall and be right back at square one. And yet, something in you was missing that place… that house that you had just started to get used to. The furniture and things both you and Solomon had bought to make it your shared home. But your real home was here. Well, hopefully here.

You wouldn’t get your hopes up over anything yet. Not until you got to see them.

Barbatos returned before you could even begin to ask Solomon about any of this. A whirl of varying shades of green caused your vision to do somersaults as you were quickly fretted over. Salves and bandages were wrapped around your torso and a damp cloth gently touched the back of your head. That splitting pain resurfaced, joining forces with an added stinging. Maybe it was your body going into shock, but you could’ve sworn you heard a shaky shush coming from your current caretaker as you were cleaned and patched up quickly. Luckily, it wasn’t too much longer after that till the aches went mostly away, your head clearing up again as a set of your own pajamas were settled at the foot of the bed, a silver tray stretched over your lap and propped up on two stands. A small plate with a single pastry sat in front of you, along with a bitter smelling dark-green tea that you could tell you’d rather avoid imbibing.

Swiveling your head to the side, you saw Solomon leaning back against the headrest and a few pillows, a bit more vibrancy in his eyes, although those intense dark circles were hard to miss. He was okay. Thank…everything.

“Eat. Drink. Both of you.” The butler stood between the beds, realizing he’d spoken quite against his normal demeanor, he cleared his throat, his palm pressed between his collarbones. “Phoenix’s Breath Tea. You’ll both need it to recover. I apologize for making you both consume something so distasteful, but I’ve found it goes down a bit smoother paired with something sweet.”

A single whiff of the hot beverage in your hand was enough to make you cough, some sense burning in your nose. You settled the cup back down, taking a deep breath, trying to get your head on straight. “Barbatos… Are we…?”

The butler’s eyelids fluttered slowly. “You are,” he stated, his voice quiet, almost in awe. “You’re home. Back in the world you belong.”

A lump immediately formed in your throat, pushing the tray forward and turning to get out of bed. “I need to go. I need to see them, I—“ Before you could get one foot touching the ground, you were wrangled back into bed.

“I’ll fetch them. I swear you won’t have to wait too much longer. But you must drink the tea and you must take a moment to recover. If the others were to know the state you both were in right now, the castle would be torn—“

A banging sound ripped through the room like a gunshot. The guest room door was busted completely off it’s hinges, the wood of the frame splintering, the door soaring across to the left and fully embedding itself into the wall like a dart stuck in a board. If it weren’t for Barbatos’ inhuman skills, you’ve spilled the tea and dessert all over yourself. The royal attendant audibly sighed, sweeping himself to his feet and holding his arms out, his demon form manifesting, wrestling back a writhing and screaming black mass.

Your eyes went wide.

The mass stopped fighting, going rigid, stepping back to form seven different individuals. Three more non-hostile forms stood back in the wrecked doorway, two white, one red.

The bottom of your lip trembled as an overwhelming surge of joy and despair and relief and guilt all flooded out of you in tears. Your fears were pushed away. Your soul seemed to click back into place, like you’d been the last puzzle piece just waiting to finish the picture. “I’m home…”

Chaos erupted in the castle guest room. A few cracking wails nearly burst your eardrums. Asmo’s arms were the first to wrap around you, mascara running down his cheeks in large inky trails, but he didn’t seemed concerned in the least. Kisses lined your face with each sharp intake of breath, too shaken to even speak, he could only address you in his cries as he clutched onto you, trembling. His hand stroked your head, his breathing stopping for a moment when he saw the damage the landing had caused. This only caused him to whimper and cry harder, his thumb running over the outline of your features, running the back of his fingernails over your cheeks.

Levi was stuttering incomprehensibly. As he fell to his knees, he clutched at his head, going through an entire panic attack. He clawed at his chest, tearing gashes into the front of his clothes, looking up at you behind large welling tears as his tail wrapped around his entire torso. Mist filled the entire room as he continued to shake and cry so fervently he couldn’t even stand.

Luke was quite a ways away, holding onto Simeon’s clothing as he screeched out painful genuine child-like cries. The Angel curled over him, shushing him, getting to his own knees to hold the fledgling to his chest, assuring both the little angel and himself that you were okay. You were alright. Miracles had brought you together again. They didn’t have to worry any longer. The sleepless nights, the endless nightmares, the never-ending cold grip of sorrow could go away. He spoke this mantra- this prayer- over and over again, taking deep breaths between the words, blinking rapidly as he had to sway him and his charge back and forth to keep themselves both at ease. The older angel took the occasional glance over Luke’s shoulder, muttering a thankful blessing on repeat every-time he locked with your eyes.

Satan was thrashing around the room, screaming wildly, out of control, ready to beat Barbatos and Solomon for making you arrive in this condition, for not bringing you sooner, for not telling them sooner, for— Eventually, after getting thrown around the room a little, he ran out of things to be angry for. All it took was one look at your face to calm him down. He approached carefully, angry at himself, angry at whoever it was that took you away, but trying to keep himself together. Satan gingerly pulled Asmo off of you, turning Lust over to Solomon. Clearly, he’d been worried about his other pact-mate, hugging the sorcerer and crying a little more softly into his shoulder. Meanwhile, Satan reached a hand out hesitantly, like you were a feral cat he was trying to pet, worried you’d run away. His hand brushed through your hair and settled at the side of your face. Once he realized you weren’t going anywhere, his arms pulled you to him, pressing your face against his shoulder. “You’re here. You’re here again. You’re—“ His voice went hoarse, like he was losing it, like he’d been doing nothing but screaming for the entirely of your absence. Soon his words were nothing but faded squeaks, trying to portray his words but unable to. He simply held you instead. Then he tore himself away from you, heading over to the back wall and punching holes into the structure till his knuckles turned bloody.

Someone crawled onto the bed. Belphegor peered at you with an almost blank expression. His hand reached out, touching your knee, flinching as soon as he made contact, like the very act of him doing so would hurt you further. You could tell that maybe he felt like some of this was his fault, like he’d deserved the pain of having you be sent away from him, like if he did anything wrong again, you’d vanish for real this time, How many times could you come back from the dead? How close was he to losing you entirely? For good? As soon as his warmth mixed with yours, he collapsed on the mattress, curling up at your feet. He gathered the blanket towards his face, the end of his tail twitching erratically. His sobs were silent but violent, the entire bed shifting and bouncing as his body convulsed, his chest pounding as he broke down. Every once and a while, he would become extremely frightened, needing to gasp and look up to ensure you were real. You weren’t a dream. He pinched himself, shook his head, even almost bit at his hands to snap him out of this vision. But you were really here. He would curl back up and continue to cry.

White hair bobbed in front of your vision, two hands going to your shoulders and shaking you, pinning you against the headboard, fingernails careful not to dig themselves into your skin as they gripped your body. “What the hell is wrong with you?! Huh? Huh?! Do you have any idea what you put us through?! What you put me through?!” Mammon growls and screams shocked you.

“Mammon.” Lucifer’s voice settled as a stern warning, but something about it seemed weaker than usual.

Greed ignored him, continuing his rant. “You were just gone. Gone! You know that?!” He shook you again, careful not to rattle you too much. “And what am I supposed to do about that, huh?! What did I say?! I said—“ His voice cracked, trails of moisture streaming from his eyes and over his lips. “I said,” he repeated, “if you’re ever in trouble, you have to let me save you. What part of that didn’t you understand?! How dare you get taken somewhere where I can’t reach you?! How dare you?! How dare you?!” His voice continued to raise in pitch, sounding more and more unstable with each accusing question. Then he slumped, his forehead pressing against your chest as his hands held onto your shoulders tighter, almost bruising them, fearful of letting you go. He began shaking you a few times more, each shake meeker than the last. “How dare you. How dare you… How… W- What was I supposed to do if you didn’t come back?… The world is nothin’… I’m nothin’…”

Beel came over and helped his older brother to his feet, allowing him to sit on the side of your bed as Mammon furiously used the back of his wrist to rub at his cheeks. Gluttony stood over you, looking down with a wide close-lipped smile. “Welcome back.” He leaned down, pressing his cheek against yours as his large arms wrapped around the back of your neck. He took in the scent of you, burying his face into the crook of your neck for a moment. His body didn’t shutter, didn’t make noise, but you felt a few warm tears of his drip onto your skin. He silently and secretly teared up for just a few moments before he stood back up straight, gesturing to the tray with your items on it. “Eat, please. It’ll make you feel better.” The sixth-born took a few steps back to let you breathe, and as he moved back, someone else moved forward.

Lucifer stood at your bedside for quite some time in silence, looking down on you with a rather unreadable expression. He had a frown, eyes squinting like he was upset at you. He scanned you over, his brows furrowing, his jaw clenching. He refused to move, refused to say anything, refused to look you directly in the eyes. You moved forward a little, grabbing his hand, holding it in yours. All the sudden, the tension released. His eyes widened before his eyelids lowered, glancing at you past the vulnerable shimmer past his irises. Wrinkles of stress deepened in his forehead as his whole face contorted in agony. He held your hand tightly, bringing the back of it up to his lips. After that, he pulled you against him, his forehead pressed up against yours, his wings in his demon form acting as some sort of visual blocker, as if he couldn’t stand to have the rest of the room see how he was acting right now. He rubbed his face against yours back and forth, one small touch away from cooing, his hands caressing the sides of your neck, feeling your pulse, hearing your breath, taking in every detail and confirming to himself that you were indeed in his arms again, alive and mostly well. “You’ve come back to us,” he whispered, the end of his nose touching yours as one of his hands cradled the back of your neck. “Back to me.” His breath was hot as he panted for a moment, taking a deep breath and speaking in a hushed tone. “I had nearly begun to entertain the thought that…”

You pulled him closer to you, letting his head rest on your chest as you reached around to his back, grasping the cloth of his clothes in your hands. “You know I would fight through all the layers of hell to get to you.”

That seemed to resonate with him, but you weren’t quite sure he remembered that you were speaking quite literally. All those adventures…the things you’d all learned. How lost were they?…

However, Lucifer simply smiled, laughing a little, squeezing you before laughing again. “Yes, if anyone would do such a thing, it would be you. I shouldn’t have doubted you.” He straighted, fixed his clothing, lowered his wings, and moved further back into the room, rubbing his eyes with his thumb and forefinger as he paced towards a back corner.

Levi had finally soothed himself enough to move, walking on his knees towards the bed. His hands were fidgeting with every part of his outfit. Eyes puffy from crying, throat raw from his collapse earlier, he kept himself from speaking. You managed to smile down at him and wipe away the last few of his tears. His lips shook again before he lowered his head into your lap. Face-down in the fabric of the blanket, he kept shaking his head. He didn’t stop until your fingers ran through his hair. With a forced gulp, he eventually vocalized words. “I missed you… I was- was- was so scared I would…”

“Lose you.” Belphie sat up in bed, ignoring the fact that his face was now a mess. He scooted closer towards your side on the bed. “We thought we lost you.”

The youngest was able to say what none of the others could. Full silence washed over the room as the reality of the situation fully seemed to hit them, their shock slowly starting to fade.

Diavolo strode in, everyone moving out of the way to allow him to have his own time with you. The corners of his eyes crunched in happiness. His tight and broad shoulders sagged. Both of his large hands scooped up one of yours, bringing your touch to the side of his face. He closed his eyes, almost appearing as if he might purr any second. As he opened his sight back at you, a fire of positivity and excitement lit within him. “A party! We must throw a party! A welcome home celebration! This is…this is��� a joyous day.”

At first, the others seemed confused. Then, one-by-one, small determined smiles spread across their faces. The sorrow melted and gave way to pure uncontrollable elation. People hugged each other, danced around the room, cheered, bounced, came back to kiss you, came back to hug you, nearly passing you around the room till Barbatos barged back in and took your hand, bringing you back to bed.

For a while, you assumed he would shut the idea down entirely. But then, the butler grinned. “I figured you would all say as much. Some preparations are already being made. In the meantime, we should let these two rest. They’ve had all too much excitement today.” Barbatos pulled the blanket back over your legs, readjusting the tray and giving you a biting glare that told you you wouldn’t be able to get out of drinking that god-forsaken tea. “But after that, we will celebrate. We will take every day and night to cherish you, and make up for the time we lost.”

Most of the brothers tried clinging to you, demanding they get to stay, but Diavolo, Barbatos, Lucifer, and Simeon managed to corral the desperate demons and one small angel out of the room.

But before they all left, you shouted. “Wait!” They all turned, worried that something was wrong. However, you smiled, happy tears running down your face this time. “I love you all. So very much.”

“I cherish you with every fibre of my being.”

“There ain’t nothing more priceless than you.”

“E-Everything is so much more fun with you here with m-m- us…”

“I…don’t want to even try to imagine a world without you in it.”

“Nothing, and I mean nothing, hun, is as charming as you.”

“Our family isn’t complete without you in it.”

“You belong with us. End of story.”

“You are one of the most precious beings the three realms has ever known.”

“I find myself discovering new things to enjoy every moment I spend with you.”

“Listen, you are a shining beacon in the night. Know how special you are.”

“You teach me so much! If it weren’t for you, I might still be scare— I mean, dislike demons!”

“My dear apprentice… We couldn’t have gotten home without you. You deserve the world. I will stick by you no matter where you go. And you deserve to know—“

“How much we love you too.”

[starmocha]

Hi hello so im back again with a smaaaaaaallllll rant about Colonel Caleb and general's daughter. I just got the ideea and i had, once again, nowhere to rant about it.

Ahham. So....them having their own 'myth' lets say. They were lovers in their past lives(historical maybe the 1800 or the 1900)but couldn't be toghter since she was of lower status then Caleb, him being a Colonel in the army (i love Colonel Caleb so bear with me) and her being a commoner or someting and she dies in his arms and he swears to protect her in their next lives and faith makes sure to have them be of the same 'rank'??? so he could fullfill his promise FUCK MY MIND IS IN RUINS 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I hope i made myself clear if not blame my mind, thank you! Good night! 😭😂❤️❤️

MINA I AM DELIGHTED TO SEE YOU AND YOUR LOVELY AU AGAIN. <333 gosh I wanted to answer this immediately last night, but Caleb’s latest trailer had me losing my mind and things spiraled 😭😭😭

Giving you all of my attention, because EXCUSE ME. WHEELS ARE SPINNING.

Can we…can we just indulge on this a little more? 🥹 omg excuse the slightly heavy Moulin Rouge! influences sprinkled in here, but this is the vibe I am getting, especially for their “tragic” ending.

A Colonel and His Lover

Imagine Colonel Caleb is dragged to a brothel by his associates and superiors. He finds the whole thing disdainful, but is pressured by his own superiors to indulge in a little nightly fun and let loose and forget their duties for a bit.

He doesn’t plan to. He had planned on leaving the moment everyone finds their partners.

Until he sees you.

Literally lust love at first sight.

He’s captivated by your beauty, your wits, and he’s falling hard and fast before he realizes what is happening.

One night with you leaves him yearning for more. He has already remembered how you felt under him, the way you quivered and moaned for him.

He remembers the sweet nothings uttered between the two of you, and though a tiny part in his mind is telling him that you are just a whore who is good with her tongue, he wants to believe that there is something genuine blossoming between the two of you.

He starts going back to the whorehouse more often. Nightly, if he could. He still puts on an act that he was being pressured to tag along, but in reality, all he wants is to see you again. No matter what it takes, what the price, he wants you and only you.

In the beginning, he was just another client. One of those military brutes who only saw you as something that can be bought for and used until they were satisfied.

You did intentionally charm him in the beginning. A false smile, a few sweet words to prickle his male ego, but it soon becomes apparent to you that Caleb is not like all of your previous clients. When he sees you, there is genuine feelings in his eyes, he is truly looking at you for you and not just a body to be used.

You try to discourage your own feelings, reminding yourself of the different classes you belong to. This can never happen—could never happen.

A prestigious colonel on his way to greatness and a common whore? What a joke. It seems almost insulting to entertain such an idea that you could ever truly be his. You quiet those feelings, try to imagine him as any of those other bastards who drag you to bed.

Except you can’t.

Caleb won’t let you. He sees you for you. He wants to know you, the real you, who you have hidden away for years.

You no longer wait for him to come to you as a client. You begin to sneak around whenever you both could, having regular rendezvouses where he is no longer a client or you’re a whore, but two lovers meeting to be together.

After one afternoon delight, you lay with him in an inn bed, tangled in sheets and wrapped in his warmth, and he paints you a beautiful picture of the life you both could have together.

He would buy you all of the beautiful dresses for you to wear, show you off with pride, his equal at his side wherever he goes. Men may still lust after you, their wives green with envy, but to Caleb, he couldn’t care, because he knows you are his and his alone.

You would live in a beautiful house, your days filled with idle contentment and no longer have to worry about anything or want for anything. Caleb promises to provide you with everything you could want and more.

When you tell him, though, that he is all that you want, his cheeks tinge pink, but his smile is layered with joy and also…gratitude? He looks at you like you are his whole world, because that’s just how it is: you are his world now. He had never thought he could cherish someone as much as he cherishes you.

A beautiful life awaits you. He asks you to marry him.

For just a moment, you hesitate, and he is confused. He gently questions you, wondering if you have any doubts about his feelings.

“No! Never!” you tell him, and then reluctantly, you reveal that you could still feel that distance in classes between the two of you. You worry about his reputation, and Caleb seems surprised.

He reassures you there is nothing for you to worry about. He can handle whatever happens, and he promises to keep you safe.

You agree to marry him.

Life continues as normal as the two of you plan to run away and elope. He had promised you an extravagant wedding, but you want him now, already wanting to be his wife and he your husband.

This rosy life you are seeing turns grey in an instant, everything grinding to a halt when you start to display symptoms of an unknown illness. You start coughing up blood more often, your body weakened some days to the point you need to be bedridden. Secretly, you hid everything from Caleb, not wanting him to worry.

Caleb starts wising up, realizing something is wrong when you continue to evade his questions or even outrightly avoid meeting him again.

When a physician reveals to you that you only have less than five months to live, you realize that the dream life Caleb promised you would never come true. Not wanting him to bear the pain of seeing you dying, you start to drive a further wedge between the two of you, consciously doing things to make him hate you so he wouldn’t ever have to feel the pain of losing you.

It works.

You fight with him to the point that you’re both yelling and screaming at one another until he loses control of his anger and drives his fist into a wall, scaring you briefly, having never seen this side of him before. He doesn’t want you to see him like this either, so he leaves, leaving you with these bitter harsh words and some bills tossed at you in spite:

“I have paid for my whore. My debt is paid and she is nothing to me.”

When he is out of sight, you fall to the ground sobbing, angry at yourself for doing a good job of driving him away and making him hate your existence. The man you loved is gone, and though it hurts, you still wish he would find someone to replace you, because you still love him with your whole heart and never want him to be alone like this.

Caleb is angry and it shows. The Colonel has always been very disciplined and strict, but everyone has noticed his temper seemed even more short. There is no leniency with him. You mess up, he will make sure you learn from your mistakes. You talk back to him, and it will be your last words in his presence.

He starts to drink more often, wishing to numb his pain, to forget your fights, to forget you. There is no alcohol in the world strong enough to cure him of this heartache. In spite of everything, he still loves you. He replays the memories often, wondering when everything had gone wrong.

One night as he sits at the bar, on his fifth glass of scotch, he pulls out a ring box, opening it to look at the dainty little ring he had secretly chosen for you. It wasn’t a huge diamond, but still perfectly sized, and he knows it would look beautiful on your finger.

He downs his glass, pays his tab, and stumbles out of the bar. He staggers through the streets disoriented, not even thinking clearly of where he is going.

He finds himself at the brothel again, and he scoffs. He goes in, demanding to see you.

The madame there tries to turn him away. She knows who he is, and also knows of his secret relationship with one her girls. She knows what you two had planned, because you had revealed everything to her and begged her to never let him come near you again—for his sake. Always for his sake. Even as you are dying upstairs, each day, you breathing growing weaker, you still think of him.

Caleb doesn’t take “no” for an answer and in his current drunken state, he is more prone to violence than usual, slurring insults about you in spite. It isn’t until one of the other girls screams out that you were dying, that he freezes, sobering up instantly.

“What…did you say?”

His whole world had stopped. The colors drain from his face, his heart slowing as he replays her words in his mind. The dots start to connect as he remembers all of your final fights, realizing your expressions had always seemed off somehow.

His throat is dry, his limbs rigid as he tries to move. Suddenly, he runs off in a mad dash before anyone could stop him. He rushes up the stairs, passing several rooms, pushing anyone in his way to the side until he finds your room, the door bursting open and he freezes again, not recognizing the frail woman laying in bed under multiple covers as a nurse is tending to her.

Caleb doesn’t leave and rushes to your side, dropping to his knees as he reaches for your hand, begging you to look at him. He apologizes profusely, his eyes glistening with tears.

“Why didn’t you tell me?! Why did you lie to me?! Why, why…why…”

His large hands wrapped around yours, holding it close to his face as he sobs.

“Ca..leb…”

He looks up, seeing you smiling at him weakly.

“I’m here,” he assures you, “I’m here…I’m not leaving…Not again…”

Too weak to fight, too relieved to see him, you let him stay and you close your eyes.

He stays by your side for your remaining days, cherishing the little time you had left.

One afternoon as he watches you sleep, he sits on the edge of the bed, his fingers brushing aside your hair, his eyes heavy with sadness as he realizes how frail and pale you are now compared to who you were months earlier. Quietly, he pulls out the ring box, taking the ring out, and slipping it on your ring finger. It looks perfect on you, just like he had known it would.

When you wake that evening and see the ring, you start to protest, saying it’s wasted on you.

He silences you with a kiss, and once again, he reassures you that nothing he does for you is ever wasted effort. You are his only bride, and no one will ever take your place.

Time dwindles, and he watches you waste away each day, his heart heavy with remorse and anger that he is losing you before his very eyes and there is nothing that he can do to stop this. For all of his strength and glory, Caleb has never felt as weak and helpless as he does now.

He tries to fill your days with as much comfort and happiness as he could.

It was a spring afternoon when he lays in bed with you. He leans back against the headboard, your body resting against his, the cover up to your neck for warmth, but nothing felt more comforting than his own body heat against you.

He tells you stories again and as you listen to him, you wonder why his voice sounds more distant even though he is right here next to you.

Caleb watches, realizing, he has lost you, your body growing colder and unresponsive.

He breaks down crying as a warm spring breeze rustles into the room from the opened balcony door. He holds you close to him and just sobs and curses every deity in the world.

He promises in the next life, he will be a better man and give you what you deserve. In the next life, things will go right. The story of you and him will be rewritten, he swears on his life.

[secriden]

One of my favourite things about the way Fadel's plan (to "make them [Style] fall in love with us [me]") plays out is that when he dials up his affection and goes all out on the sweet flirtation and tenderness, Style immediately finds it weird and strange and suspicious and off-putting. Fadel pretending to be #whipped actually makes Style pull away like none of Fadel's aggression and violence and outright rejection did -- because it wasn't sincere, and Style could sense that.

When Fadel first drags Style out and starts peppering kisses on his face, Style turns away from his kisses and pulls back/pushes Fadel away from him to start questioning why Fadel is acting so strange. This is the same person who later propositions Fadel in a public bathroom whilst knowing one of the stalls is currently occupied by a stranger, so whilst I fully acknowledge Style probably genuinely did not want his dad to see them necking in his place of work, I'm also convinced it wasn't the only reason.

Because when Fadel allows some honesty to slip out, when he says "Don't you ever think that I'm only like this because of you?", Style actually softens and turns into Fadel's kiss for the first time in the scene. His hands go from pushing upwards at Fadel's neck to clenching softly against his shoulder and upper arm, like he's finally able to relax and hold Fadel closer (you can actually see the difference in these screenshots compared to the ones above). Style stops resisting and sinks into the kiss, lets his eyes almost slip close because something in him recognises that Fadel spoke true.

The same thing happens in Style's bedroom when Fadel continues his charade: Style is smiling, but there's a distinctly uncomfortable and awkward air about it, and he actually pulls away when Fadel continues to sniff-kiss him while going on and on about loving the way Style smells like gasoline. Fadel tries to be clingy again and Style outright calls him out on how weird he's being, so Fadel is forced to backtrack into sincerity:

Suddenly, Style's wariness turns to excitement and interest; he happily agrees to come along and asks what he should get Bison as a gift. Fadel is literally torturing himself to keep up this excessive affection and tenderness (the away Fadel's softness and sweetness just drops once Style goes to take that shower. Ugh. T_T) and gets nothing from Style until he offers something genuine -- a request for time to celebrate someone Fadel truly loves.

In fact, it's the pieces of honesty (or at least I'm assuming that this is also true since he was honest about Bison's birthday), and only those, that Style responds positively to. We have seen Style flirting constantly in previous episodes but he literally has not said anything scandalous or suggestive so far, nor has he initiated any affection even once until this moment.

And the reason why I love all this SO MUCH is because it really shows the evidence of Style's words before he even says them. In the midst of all the secrets and lies between them, ever since he found out about Fadel's secret and decided he was going to keep pursing him anyway, Style has been chasing and chasing Fadel's sincerity. And each precious revelation that Fadel gave him -- his parents' murder, his inability to trust, his desire for something genuine from Style -- has been carefully stored away in Style's heart like nuggets of gold. Which is why Fadel's performance was doomed from the start; because Style was moved by the true things and not the lies, and Fadel's pretensions can have no effect when Style's heart now has the ability to recognise that which he has already grown to love.

[shanastoryteller]

i'm going to move on from supernatural posting, i swear to god, but first i'm going to talk about ep 9x07 bad boys

the episode itself is fine and good (i mean it's another example of dean having a support network while sam can't have anyone and dean keeping secrets while when sam does it it's the worst betrayal ever but that's not what this is about and sometimes i think about what this show did two earnest, loving traumatized characters by turning them into the most tragic versions of themselves and - ok, this really isn't what this post is about)

but fandom interpretation of this episode actually drives me up a wall because it does a disservice to literally every character

one, john did not leave them without enough money for food. dean gambled it and lost it. there's nothing in canon to say that john was taking longer than expected, that they were running out of money, none of that. dean gambled food money and lost it and then tried to steal to make up for it. he was 16 when this happened and it was a bad decision but i don't think he should be at all vilified for this. he made a dumb mistake and then tried to fix it with another dumb mistake. john was right to be mad and sam was also right to tell him that he shouldn't beat himself up about it. just like with shtriga - yeah, dean was climbing the walls stuck in that hotel room. but you know who else was stuck in that hotel room? sam. and he didn't get a break to go play at the arcade. again, i'm not blaming dean here, he shouldn't have been stuck taking care of his brother that young and he was a kid and john leaving his his children behind while hunting a child eater, whether he was using them for bait or not, is crazy. but dean stealing food wasn't about john's neglect and all the sacrifices dean had to make for sam. it was about him trying to fix his fuck up

two, and this is the one that really gets me, dean didn't go back with john because he had to take care of sam

listen. listen to me. i am speaking from experience when i say this

parentified siblings are still, first and foremost, siblings. especially with only 4 years between them. the show shameless i think did an absolutely excellent job with this and is why i love the first few seasons of it so much. fiona is without a doubt parentified, she is raising those kids, but she's also clearly their sister not their mother

i know later seasons dean and fandom like to make it seem like dean literally raised sam and john was just a background figure but like. that's not realistic, and frankly doesn't even make sense

the reason dean leaves sonny and goes with john isn't because he feels like he has to keep him sam safe. it's isn't because he feels like he has to raise him. it's because he loves him

you are reducing dean to the most pathetic woe is me archetype with this interpretation and ridding him of all his rich loyalty and care and love to saddle him instead with comparatively flat duty. dean is more than sam's caretaker. he's his brother

there's also no reason for dean to feel this way. he just massively fucked up in taking care of sam - that's why he's with sonny in the first place. john has alternate people to take care of sam when he can't do it himself, as he has just proven, and while i don't think we should turn a couple teenage mistakes into making dean incapable, dean absolutely would - and did! he carries every fuck up regarding sam with him! so right now he's really, really low when it comes to his own estimation to take care of sam and leaving sonny because of that doesn't make any sense

but he looks at his brother and is reminded how much he missed him and loves him and realizes staying means he loses his brother. the good and the bad. so he goes, because he loves sam more than anything else

this is also why sam leaving for stanford cuts him so deep. that's why this moment is a parallel to that rather than being unrelated. stanford isn't about sam leaving dean even though he has a duty to care of him, because he doesn't. dean's 22 and at this point is always hunting with their father so there's no reason for sam to believe his presence is necessary for either john or dean's safety

no, dean's mad because he chose his love for his brother over a normal life and sam didn't

(sam didn't want to choose at all but this isn't about him)

anyway. dean fucks up sometimes and john sucks but not quite in the ways fandom thinks and dean loves his brother past reason or sense

[avelera]

Something something… through Viktor’s actions we see his possible linear mental checklist of his goals in life, and those goals included eventually confessing his feelings to Jayce, but before he did he felt he needed to do other things first. Namely:

1) Make Hextech a reality - Check. Viktor and Jayce actually achieved this one by 1.04. They could continue to refine forever but you can tell they both felt a sense of accomplishment in this.

2) Give Hextech to the people - Incomplete. At the end of S1 they had the refined Hextech crystals but the full benefits of their work had not reached the masses. Nor would it/should it ever.

3) Help the Undercity - incomplete, arguably completely unaddressed or even undermined by their work. The Hexgates drew Piltover’s attention away from the Undercity, which is why it languished while Piltover looked to distant markets. Hextech materially made life worse for the Undercity, as the alternate timeline showed us.

4) Hextech innovations lead to a cure for Viktor’s disease and disability - Successful but in the most horrifying way possible, including a body count.

5) Profit - Confess his feelings to Jayce.

(Don’t get too hung up on the order here because obviously a lot of these things could happen concurrently and I don’t think Viktor is stupid he would know that Hextech innovation could take a lifetime and probably wouldn’t wait to confess to Jayce just for that endlessly moving finish line.)

BUT, joking aide, I truly DO think that Viktor is kind and empathetic at his core and he really didn’t plan to confess his feelings to Jayce until he found a cure for his disease, which would require a lot of Hextech innovation to have any hope of reaching. Literally it would take a miracle.

I think Viktor’s belief in his own inadequacy could have festered in the painful doldrums of his own rapidly advancing illness after the initial glow of making the Hexgates happen.

Any hope of finding a cure was always remote, but as his illness advanced, this is when he may have even begun to push Jayce away, knowing the inevitable was coming. He certainly wouldn’t confess feelings to someone he loved with his days so numbered.

And that’s where I think a thread of actual resentment towards Mel might have crept in. To be fair, I don’t think Viktor hated her as a person, as such, nor was he a swooning teenager wracked by petty jealousy. But I think it must have stung to have his days so numbered and have this woman who represented everything he couldn’t offer to Jayce: health, wealth, beauty, position, prestige, etc distracting his attention away during what might be Viktor’s final days.

The thing is, I think rationally Viktor didn’t say anything because again, his days were numbered and Jayce and Mel were happy and well suited and beautiful and perfect together. He had nothing to offer. And it would be cruel to drag Jayce back just so Jayce would have to mourn him even more. Then as a result, Viktor was even more consumed by trying to save his own life by a miracle, though he now had to do it more alone than he ever predicted he would have to.

But there’s that horrible catch 22. He can’t tell Jayce how he feels because he might fail and die anyway and that would be cruel to someone he loves. But if he doesn’t tell Jayce, Jayce won’t come back to his side to help him out with the research needed to maybe save it.

Then Sky dies to the Hexcore and Viktor realizes just how much he’d lost of the parts of himself he liked, the parts that cared about helping others as PART of the cure for himself, and truly just gave up on any of it. He made his peace, decided to support Jayce during the emancipation of Zaun as a sort of ambassador, and resigned himself to the fact this would be the end for him.

Well, we know what happened next. Jayce saved his life, against Viktor’s wishes, using Viktor’s now-hates innovation.

Ok so now for the part that I was trying to get to:

A newly healed Viktor now has to reevaluate his life’s work checklist. It’s a much shorter list now.

1) Save his own life - check.

2) Figure out a way to make the world a better place - check.

3) Confess to Jayce now that you’re proud of who you are both inside and outside. You are finally worthy of him. You will finally live long enough that confessing isn’t an act of cruelty. You finally have achievements that make you worthy to proposition the creator of Hextech and the man you love, who is as far as you know, currently dating the physical embodiment of perfection.

And that explains Viktor’s catwalk into the Council Chamber in 2.08. He’s decked out in Mel’s colors. He’s ready to compete. He’s perfect now. He’s found a way to save humanity from itself. He is now worthy of Jayce and in a place where he can actually offer a lifetime together.

And Jayce rejects him.

This stuns Viktor. Actually, it fully knocks him into a villain arc, because Jayce has never refused him anything before. And Viktor can’t comprehend why his checklist didn’t work. Why did becoming perfect not work?

Because Jayce didn’t need the checklist. He’d already broken up with Mel. He didn’t need Viktor to be healed or to have already saved the world or to be anything else but Jayce’s partner. Jayce would have been happier if Viktor proposed at Step 0, but Viktor thought that would be a cruelty if he didn’t have a cure yet.

But I truly think Jayce would have preferred even just a day as Viktor’s official partner if that was all they got over a decade of being held at arm’s length until “everything was perfect”.

And that’s what Viktor doesn’t understand.

And that’s what Jayce had to show him in that final act of love.