#we import literally every kind of food

[runawaycarouselhorse]

Okay, now, you're just being rude and mocking. They've always acknowledged the harms and taught about it, they will not halt it because it's what the economy largely relies on. The tourism thing has only begun rather recently as an alternative source of income, but the main thing has always been oil exports.

A country can both acknowledge what they're relying on is harmful to the environment and that other alternatives are needed and make steps to use more green energy, using more solar power, planting a lot of trees and plants (most of the country is now a lot greener, especially the urban areas.)

"SGI supports Saudi Arabia’s ambition to reach net zero emissions by 2060 through the Circular Carbon Economy approach and is also accelerating the country’s transition to a green economy. Three overarching targets guide SGI’s work - emissions reduction, afforestation, and land and sea protection.

Since SGI’s inauguration, 77 initiatives corresponding to the three targets have been activated, representing an investment of more than $186bn and helping to drive sustainable growth. By bringing together the government and private sector, and fostering collaboration and innovation, the Kingdom’s commitments have been turned into tangible action, whilst supporting global goals."

Friends and family searched for missing hajj pilgrims on Wednesday as the death toll at the annual rituals, which were carried out in scorching heat, surged past 900.

[nomairuins]

i wish there was a way for me to likeee. semi change this one thingin this one mod. but 1 im not a modder 2 i feel like thats disrespectful. i just want sort of an inbetween between the game and this mod but that is not a thing that exist... sigh

[genderqueerdykes]

i was reading the recipe suggestions on some of the cans of mackerel i have in my cupboard, and I've noticed that on all of the recipe suggestions for pasta, seafood, anything really say "try this for a low-calorie, low carb, low fat, low sugar dinner". you. need those things when it comes to be mealtime. calories are a measure of how much "energy" you can burn, not how much weight you will gain from eating the food. carbohydrates get broken down into starches, sugars, and fibers, which are all necessary for you to function.

your brain & body operate primarily off of fats, sugars, and proteins, but i've noticed that protein is the only thing we push as absolutely necessary, which just isn't true. whenever you idle and not in motion, your body has nothing to do with the extra protein you're bringing in. it will be stored as extra fat if you do not give that protein a reason to build muscle tissue instead.

your brain consumes 20% or more of the sugar you take into your body- our brains NEED glucose, you literally need sugar to think. if you feel depressed and like you're sluggish reacting to things, thinking, remembering things, and other mental processes, if you are the kind of person who refuses to eat any sugar at all due to wanting to be skinny, you are doing your brain a huge disservice:

i can't stand the hatred towards dietary fats, because it's causing so many people to be outright miserable or even sick. you need fats to function. they are an excellent source of energy and are literally required for you to be able to move, think, and combat disease. they are not this icky thing that you need to avoid at all costs. fats are extremely important for brain development, as well as brain function, and even immune system function:

also for many people, 2,000 calories or less per day is nowhere near enough. your brain actively consumes calories, fats and sugars while you are awake, no matter what you are doing:

i sincerely refuse to believe that if JUST YOUR BRAIN ALONE consumes somewhere in the ballpark of 400-500 calories just for being awake and active that we can only survive off of 2,000 calories a day. capitalism, diet culture and fat shaming forcing us to starve ourselves of vital nutrients so we are weak and too tired to fight back against the bullshit we face every day. food is important.

food isn't just to satiate the feeling of an empty stomach. it is the ONLY way you get vital fuel in order to keep moving, living, thinking, and breathing. vitamins and minerals are NOT the only vital aspects of food. you're not meant to restrict how many nutrients you get at FUCKING MEAL TIMES. YOU NEED FUEL. PLEASE FUEL YOUR BODY AND BRAIN. A CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE BODY ISN'T WORTH SUFFERING AND LIVING YOUR WORST LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Kalim’s favorite food is coconuts because the coconut is the hardest food to poison. Meaning he likes it because he knows there is a very slim chance it would be poison for him. 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Kalim’s favorite food is actually specified to be coconut juice! This is important because (as I’ve speculated about in this post):

Aside from being a refreshing beverage, coconut juice has historically been used to reverse the effects of poisons and drug overdoses in both India and Africa. We know that Kalim has had multiple attempts on his life, including intentional poisoning of his food, so this may be why Kalim has acquired a taste for coconut juice.

But yeah, overall similar reasoning to what you proposed! It’s a way to fend off any ingested poisons and/or go minimize the chances of being poisoned in the first place.

When you think of it like that, it paints Kalim’s golden life in a darker coat. There’s the sinister implication that his preference for coconut juice originated from the anxiety of knowing anything else he put to his lips could end him. Recall that Kalim is also hesitant to eat anything that Jamil didn’t personally prepare for him or hasn’t been taste tested in advance.

Typically when we think of Kalim, we think of extravagance and perhaps the ignorance his insane wealth affords him. Those are valid things to associate with him. However, considering the numerous assassination attempts he has lived through, it’s possible to look at his opulence another way too.

Kalim appears to be acutely aware that others want him dead, yet he sparingly mentions it out loud and instead parties hard and tries to make others have fun with him. He lives every day to its fullest, because it may very well be his last. If and when he goes out—which could literally be any day now—he doesn’t want to live with any regrets.

I cannot imagine it’s easy to live with the burden of knowing people are out for your head simply because your exist or because you were born into the wrong family. Sure, you may be able to have any luxury your heart desires, but money ultimately cannot cover up or treat the ever-looming threat of death (and again, I must stress: for no crime you have personally committed but just the circumstances you are in). Yet whenever we see Kalim, he’s usually smiling and offering a helping hand to his peers. He’s still actively choosing to give his trust to others rather than be suspicious or condemn them. That’s a special kind of courage that I think Kalim doesn’t get enough recognition for.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Ok so Harry has a tendency to blatantly state out loud just how much the Dursleys don't give two shits about him (to the point that the people around him think it's just a typical teenager over exaggerating their complaints), but... Does he realise that the way he is being treated by them is wrong?

Also like, I know that the way the Dursleys treated him plays a huge part in the way Harry behaves and views himself- specifically him not thinking an adult is a reliable source of help and protection + his disastrouly low self esteem + how he doesn't respond to Snape's everything (which is the exact opposite of what James would have done) ... But what are the other ways in which he got affected and it shows? (Someone once mentioned that they hc that when feeling extreme emotions Harry tends to skip out on food and may have nearly wasted away in his second year had it not been for Ron and Hermione- which is also why they act so much like Harry's bodyguards)

Yep, Harry put no effort into hiding his abuse. He literally told anyone who would listen. By 5th year, he was making jokes about it to Ron and Hermione who seemed used to it.

Now, you've raised a few questions and I'll try to answer them to the best of my ability.

Does he realise that the way he is being treated by them is wrong?

I think he does. Most of his comments about his relatives' treatment definitely sound like Harry is very aware that he shouldn't be treated like that.

“I told you, I didn’t — but it’ll take too long to explain now — look, can you tell them at Hogwarts that the Dursleys have locked me up and won’t let me come back, and obviously I can’t magic myself out, because the Ministry’ll think that’s the second spell I’ve done in three days, so —” “Stop gibbering,” said Ron. “We’ve come to take you home with us.” “But you can’t magic me out either —” “We don’t need to,” said Ron, jerking his head toward the front seat and grinning. “You forget who I’ve got with me.” “Tie that around the bars,” said Fred, throwing the end of a rope to Harry. “If the Dursleys wake up, I’m dead,” said Harry as he tied the rope tightly around a bar and Fred revved up the car. “Don’t worry,” said Fred, “and stand back.”

(COS, page 31)

“It was cloudy, Mum!” said Fred. “You keep your mouth closed while you’re eating!” Mrs. Weasley snapped. “They were starving him, Mum!” said George. “And you!” said Mrs. Weasley, but it was with a slightly softened expression that she started cutting Harry bread and buttering it for him.

(COS, page 39)

But Harry wasn’t going to stand for this. Gone were the days when he had been forced to take every single one of the Dursleys’ stupid rules.

(GOF, page 33)

“Excellent,” said Lupin, looking up as Tonks and Harry entered. “We’ve got about a minute, I think. We should probably get out into the garden so we’re ready. Harry, I’ve left a letter telling your aunt and uncle not to worry —” “They won’t,” said Harry. “That you’re safe —” “That’ll just depress them.” “— and you’ll see them next summer.” “Do I have to?” Lupin smiled but made no answer.

(OOTP, page 54)

“You don’t seem to need many qualifications to liaise with Muggles. . . . All they want is an O.W.L. in Muggle Studies. . . . ‘Much more important is your enthusiasm, patience, and a good sense of fun!’ ” “You’d need more than a good sense of fun to liaise with my uncle,” said Harry darkly. “Good sense of when to duck, more like . . .”

(OOTP, page 657)

It seems Harry is very much aware that the way he is being treated is wrong. the younger Weasleys and Hermione are clearly aware of that too. Harry calls the Dursleys' rules stupid, he knows the Dursleys aren't treating him the way they should and that he doesn't have to take it. That he shouldn't have to take it.

Harry is kind of a best-case scenario of an abused kid and Dumbledore was so lucky Harry ended up functional enough for his plans. It could've so easily gone down differently.

Honestly, I'm enraged on Harry's behalf at how Arthur, Molly, and Lupin (and every other adult) just completely ignore his mistreatment. He really does just state plainly what's going on and has Ron, Fred, George, and Hermione backing up everything he says.

What are the other ways in which he got affected and it shows?

I do like when Harry's approach to food is affected by the Dursleys starving him, that being said, there isn't really any book evidence for it. It's an interesting headcanon to explore though. His low self-esteem, willingness to endanger himself, and his thinking that adults be counted on are definitely effects seen in the books. As for other things we do see in the books:

1. Harry is actually really quiet. He doesn't speak as much as Ron and Hermione and he's pretty awkward with social interaction. He mimics Ron in many ways since he never had any friends before him.

His approach to studying is one of the ways he mimics Ron socially. Harry actually read their school books before 1st year, he found Hedwig's name in a History of Magic. And he planned to study at the beginning of Philosopher's Stone. Then he meets Ron and realizes no one in Gryffindor except Hermione actually studies, and she is hated for it. So he didn't bother studying either, even though he planned to because he wanted to fit in.

2. Harry isn't great at emotional regulation, specifically anger. Harry is a pretty angry character and throughout the books, he actually has moments when he completely loses himself to a sense of anger.

A boiling hate erupted in Harry’s chest, leaving no place for fear. For the first time in his life, he wanted his wand back in his hand, not to defend himself, but to attack . . . to kill.

(POA, page 339)

“Madame Maxime!” said Fleur at once, striding over to her headmistress. “Zey are saying zat zis little boy is to compete also!” Somewhere under Harry’s numb disbelief he felt a ripple of anger. Little boy?

(GOF, page 275)

Harry sat there staring at Snape as the lesson began, picturing horrific things happening to him. . . . If only he knew how to do the Cruciatus Curse . . . he’d have Snape flat on his back like that spider, jerking and twitching. . . .

(GOF, page 300)

If Dudley’s friends saw him sitting here, they would be sure to make a beeline for him, and what would Dudley do then? He wouldn’t want to lose face in front of the gang, but he’d be terrified of provoking Harry. . . . It would be really fun to watch Dudley’s dilemma; to taunt him, watch him, with him powerless to respond . . . and if any of the others tried hitting Harry, Harry was ready — he had his wand . . . let them try . . . He’d love to vent some of his frustration on the boys who had once made his life hell —

(OOTP, page 11)

He does calm down the older he gets. But he definitely has a lot of anger in him.

3. Harry, in general, has a disrespect for authority. I assume this is an extension of his distrust of adults, in that no teacher or nurse ever helped him. Harry is so anti-authority and anti-orders, that he can resist the Imperius Curse decently from the first try.

Harry just doesn't do orders or authority. Actually in the earlier books, and even in books 6 and 7, Harry has his doubts about Dumbledore. He repeatedly tells people he's Dumbledore's man, but in his head, he has doubts. Like he has for any other adult with authority over him.

“Dumbledore’s been driven out of this castle by the mere memory of me!” he hissed. “He’s not as gone as you might think!” Harry retorted. He was speaking at random, wanting to scare Riddle, wishing rather than believing it to be true —

(COS, page 282)

“Because the Ministry of Magic’s still after me, and Voldemort will know all about me being an Animagus by now, Wormtail will have told him, so my big disguise is useless. There’s not much I can do for the Order of the Phoenix . . . or so Dumbledore feels.” There was something about the slightly flattened tone of voice in which Sirius uttered Dumbledore’s name that told Harry that Sirius was not very happy with the headmaster either. Harry felt a sudden upsurge of affection for his godfather.

(OOTP, pages 82-83)

He's very distrusting of adults and authority, but also his peers. He doesn't tell Ron and Hermione everything in the earlier books because he is very slow to trust. Which, makes sense for someone who grew up like he did.

4. His occasional impulsiveness is an extension of his issues with emotional regulation, I think.

5. I think Harry's cunning Slytherin streak is a result of his abuse. The Dursleys' mistreatment taught him to sneak around, to lie, to be clever. It taught him to keep a blank face when being yelled at because if he reacted it'll make it worse.

He learned how to insult the Dursleys in ways that go over Dudley's head. His little way to rebel.

6. His response to pain as well. We see it with Umbridge and the blood quill for example:

He let out a gasp of pain. The words had appeared on the parchment in what appeared to be shining red ink. At the same time, the words had appeared on the back of Harry’s right hand, cut into his skin as though traced there by a scalpel — yet even as he stared at the shining cut, the skin healed over again, leaving the place where it had been slightly redder than before but quite smooth. Harry looked around at Umbridge. She was watching him, her wide, toadlike mouth stretched in a smile. “Yes?” “Nothing,” said Harry quietly. He looked back at the parchment, placed the quill upon it once more, wrote I must not tell lies, and felt the searing pain on the back of his hand for a second time

(OOTP, page 267)

Harry can hide his pain and not react to it, and he does it well. He learned from the Dursleys that she wants to see his pain, and he isn't going to give her what she wants. Instead, he grits his teeth through it and doesn't react externally.

Even later in the book when Umbridge threatens with the Crociatus Curse, Harry just braces himself for it, not planning to break (in later books too, Harry is very willing to get hurt and just deal with it). He is willing to take torture without reacting, and I think this is something he got from the Dursleys.

These are the some other things that came to mind regarding your question. There are probably more that I can't think of now that I might add later. Harry is who he is in part because of his nightmare of a childhood. So many facets of his personality just link back to it.

[max1461]

Continuing on with my America/Europe dichotomy, and this one's gonna be a doozy. This one's for the real thinkers. Ok so basically, Americas are uh, patriarchal and Europes are Oedipal. Ok. Look. This one, right, you're really gonna have to follow me on this one.

Look. In America, right, we do the whole single family home, like, patriarchal homestead medieval Icelandic family farm thing, the man is in charge of the house, rugged individualism and/or suburbia. But it's patriarchal. American man goes out and gets a hot trophy wife, who looks good and bleach blonde hair and signifies "this man is a Real Man, cause he got a hot trophy wife". Wife is like a fast car, wife is like a ferrari you get, to show off. For the American man. Remember China is also an America. Chinese gucci fuckboy chainsmoking guy needs to own a house, he needs to own a house and make one bajillion dollars to land a Chinese beauty standards thin and swan-necked hot Chinese babe to go with his gucci and his car. JUST like American man. Remember that China only ever had one empress in its million year history. Patriarchal.

In a Europe, right, every man wants to fuck his mom. He just does, I've met European men. They all want to fuck their mom. Italian guys? Fuhgeddaboudit. His wife is NOT a trophy to show of to other guys. He will expect her to cook, clean, wipe his ass. And there's this reputation, I know because I have family members who habitually date European men, there's this reputation where they literally live with their mom who cleans their underwear until they move in with their wife and now she cleans his underwear and pops out sixteen Catholic children. Right? Europe is oedipal. Ancient multi-generational homes... it breeds wanting to fuck your mom wanting a fucking mom-wife. Japan has had nine empresses. Squarely a Europe.

This is the source of all the other differences. They don't mind reusing old bathwater in Japan for the same reason moms don't mind when their kids barf on them... in America we don't mind poisonous chemicals in our food because young men don't care about that kind of shit. This is the fundamental difference.

IDEAL state of affairs, ok, is to be born in a wild and crazy America such as America or China, or maybe Russia (edge case), and then move to a nice and peaceful Europe in adulthood. They're great at walkable cities and shit in Europes, they love that shit. Doing what mommy tells them. And as an American it's a breath of fresh air. But it's important to be born and raised over here, you see, so you have that fuck you attitude, so you don't want to fuck your mom. Have I ever told this story? My grandad ate rat poison once, when he was a kid in the great depression riding the rails. I'm not making this up. Apparently he ate so much that his body didn't even try to digest it and it went right through him. He was fine. 🇺🇸

[thatone16216]

OP Boyfriend Headcannons

Kid, Law, Ace, Luffy, Zoro

Eustass Kid

He's a redhead, so he's kinda freaky 😂

Totally cuddles. He hates asking for them but you tease him so much that he has to. When he asks at first he tries to act like it's what you wanted

"You want to cuddle, right?" "Not really... Do you?" "No! Of course not!" ... "Kid?" "Can we cuddle?"

Definitely calls you "mouse"

Poor Killer sleeps in the room next to you, and let's just say, that ship is NOT soundproof 😭

This man is TOUCHY. Like he always has to be touching you. Arm around your waist or shoulders, holding you, hand on your shoulder, ass, or waist, or you sitting in his lap. Hell even just brushing shoulders with you. As long as you're touching, he's fine. 

Secretly loves when you play with his hair. He finds it relaxing. 

Jealous as fuck. 

Loves giving you hickeys. He likes people to know you're his.

Secretly loves when you wear his makeup. He thinks its hot 

"Is that my lipstick, [Name]? Hmm, looks good on you" 

Trafalgar Law

He pretends not to care about us, but we all know he does. 

He doesn't LOVE cuddles, but he will accept them if you want to. 

The only exception is when he has nightmares.

We all know how much they keep him up at night, so on the rare occasions he does sleep, if they wake him he will want a cuddle. 

He doesn't get jealous easily, but during a meeting with the Kid Pirates, Eustass Kid himself took a liking to you, and boy was Law PISSED. 

Took all his willpower not to kill him where he stood. 

He's not a touchy person, but sometimes if you're sitting together he will rest his hand on your thigh, just to reassure himself you're still there. 

When he's very stressed, if you're cuddling he will ask you to play with his hair to calm him down.

You're the most important person alive to him, so he will do everything in his power to keep you safe.

Portgas D. Ace

Bro LOVES cuddles.

And you love cuddling him. Especially when you're on a winter island where it's cold. Bro is literally one of the hottest human beings ever to exist. Because... Temperature. Yeah. That's it.

He loves kisses. You could be sitting there, minding your own business, and he will just come over and start peppering your face on little kisses.

He will TRY, and I repeat, TRY to cook you something. Like he could be making dinner for you because he knows you're sick of having the same thing the ships chef cooks every day and decided that the stove wasn't working fast enough for him, so he tried using his devil fruit powers.

He almost burned the ship down.

He doesn't get JEALOUS, per say, but he does get a little insecure sometimes. Mostly when guys just don't get the hint that you're together.

When other guys flirt with you, he glares at them with an arm around your waist or shoulders, and kisses you until they leave.

Loves touching you. Not JUST sexually, but he loves wrapping his arms around your waist, resting his head on your shoulder/head, and sitting you in his lap.

Monkey D. Luffy

KING OF CUDDLES OH MY GOD

It does not matter where you are, what time it is, nor what you are doing, if he wants cuddles, you better believe he's getting his damn cuddles.

Steals your food, but if you tell him to stop, he actually will. (for the five minutes his memory lasts)

Pretty innocent, so when you start the... yk... you'll have to teach him.

When it comes to kissing, kissing your lips was kind of awkward in the beginning, because he didn't entirely know what to do, but he learned pretty quickly. 

Cheek kisses ALL day tho

Doesn't get jealous, mainly because he doesn't really know what it is, but one time Sanji was being just a bit TOO Sanji with you, and Luffy taught him a lesson pretty damn fast.

Loves wrapping his arms around you.

Roronoa Zoro

Secretly likes cuddles. He loves to just lay with you cuddling until you both fall asleep 

On the rare occasion you fall asleep before he does (or he wakes up before you) he will play with your hair and study your features (not in a creepy way, admiring your beauty)

If you're insecure, he's actually an amazing boyfriend for that. He's blunt and honest, so if you say something negative about yourself, he'd tell you how wrong you are. 

"Don't give me any of that "I'm not beautiful" bullshit. You're perfect. Now sleep"

He doesn't get JEALOUS, but he gets pissed off when certain blond cooks keep trying to get comfortable with you

Doesn't love giving kisses, but but if you walk over to him and give him a kiss on the cheek or a little peck on the lips he will get flustered 

Always tried to get you to work out with him. Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure his work out routine would kill any normal human beings 

Somehow doesn't get lost when hes trying to find you. He always knows where you are 

[sassasafreeaction]

It’s time to talk about the Laudanum Lesbians, Elspeth and Wee Morag. Right away, it’s pretty obvious that you’re supposed to draw parallels between them and Aziraphale and Crowley. When the viewer first meets Elspeth, we get this gruff girl who threatens the two of them and is established to be doing something “morally wrong”. Life hasn’t been kind to her, and she clearly doesn’t trust people. To really drive it home, she and Crowley are on the exact same page while they’re talking to Aziraphale and wheeling the body to the alley. 

Then we meet Wee Morag, and it becomes apparent that every decision that Elspeth makes is to better their life together. She offers Wee Morag food (which is something our favorite demon is wont to do for his partner) and specifically oversells it as something fancier than it actually is. Wee Morag calls her an angel. It’s meant to be a little tongue and cheek since it’s in the presence of a literal angel, but it also serves as a way to show that while Elspeth may not be a Good person, that she at least cares about the person close to her.

Now for Wee Morag at this moment, we don’t get much from her aside from her obviously being the moral compass out of the two of them. She tells Elspeth that she's going to Hell literally two seconds after referring to her as an angel. The more important part of this interaction I would argue is Aziraphale’s response to Wee Morag. Some part of him recognizes a kindred spirit in her. He takes off his hat in a show of sincerity and says that it was lovely to meet her. This is important for later in the episode.

After they fail to sell the body, all three of them end up back in the alley with Wee Morag. Elspeth is again choosing to not trust Aziraphale despite his change of heart to do what he now knows is actually a good thing. Wee Morag starts off on the fence, worried about those souls that won’t get into Heaven. Elspeth tells her that she promised to help, and through everyone’s various methods of convincing (tempting may even be the better word as there is a demon sitting next to her when she agrees), Wee Morag says that she’ll do it because that’s what friends do. Regardless, she’s now had her change of heart. Although I would say hers is more driven by the same thing that drives Aziraphale to help with the Antichrist. It is fundamentally for her and Elspeth’s benefit, not the Greater Good per say, but she needs that reframing of doing the moral thing of upholding her promises and potentially helping people.

In the graveyard, Elspeth does all of the hardwork and Wee Morag holds the light both to assist how Elspeth sees, but also likely to help her keep watch. She’s filling a guardian role for Elspeth. Later when Elspeth sells her body, she even says “She only wanted to look after me.” Upon seeing the actual body (a priest’s body no less), Wee Morag realizes with horror what they’re doing - the potential moral ramifications stare her in the face. She ends up caught in the crossfire of a gun, and she dies for it.

Originally, I thought that Wee Morag’s death sets Crowley up to worry about what might potentially happen to Aziraphale in the future. In a way, I still think it does. She was the Good character helping the Bad character, and she pays dearly for it. His line “It’s a bit different when it’s someone you know, isn’t it?” while pointed at Aziraphale can be felt by everyone in the room. Elspeth has been dealing with death this whole episode, but her whole life is turned on its head when her ‘pal’ dies. Crowley recognizes that it’s the knowing part that actually causes something to hurt. (It’s one of the reasons why he doesn’t have many human friends. He does have a friend though, and it would absolutely gut him to lose him.)

The episode isn’t over though. We still have to watch someone else pay for stepping over the imaginary boundary of Good and Evil, except rather than it being Aziraphale, it’s Crowley. Like Wee Morag, he steps out of his usual role and helps Elspeth, and for that, he pays dearly. He gets dragged off to Hell to have whatever Demons do instead of a rude note done to him. After everything that’s happened, it’s no wonder why you get that panicked shout of “Crowley” from Aziraphale. They just watched the worst case scenario happen for people like them. 

Also as another quick fun aside, both sets of characters are bound by something that allows them to not be able to carry out their actual dreams and goals. Elspeth and Wee Morag were bound by poverty while Aziraphale and Crowley are bound by their respective Head Offices.

[wonijinjin]

doctor seventeen with a s/o who has a weak immune system

synopsis: what the title says.

word count: 0.7k | genre: fluff, humour/crack | pairings: seventeen x gn! reader | warnings: mentions of being ill

texting and contacting you every day every minute: scoups, hoshi, dk, seungkwan, dino

these guys will check up on you a lot during the daytime, several times. you can expect messages like “drink your water throughout the day, I know you haven’t been drinking much. and please eat some fruits and vegetables too, they are perfect for your daily vitamin intake.” they will also not be shy to call or facetime you to check in and see how you are doing, especially in times when you are stressed about something, like school or work. they are the type to give you multiple lectures when you get sick or injured, like a parent scolding their child for their bad behaviour. “baby I told you to take your probiotics and vitamins regularly! taking one every few days isn’t going to make your immune system stronger! consistency is key we have talked about this so many times!” even though they are quite strict about these lectures their words always come from a place of love; they hate seeing you in pain, so they feel the need to prevent these events from happening with a good and detailed health lesson from time to time. “you know I don’t want to nag all the time, but you need to listen to me darling. I don’t like the idea of you catching the flu or any virus any time soon if I can do something about it.” their nagging can get annoying sometimes though, but hey, they are trying their best to protect you from the cruel world’s treats, so you will just have to accept it.

silent protectors: woozi, wonwoo, minghao, vernon

these guys’ love language when it comes to your health is definitely subtle acts of service; they are the ones who would go out of their way in order to prepare dinner for you to have a healthy meal when they know you didn’t have good food that day, or when you ate absolute garbage throughout your busy schedule. “come here sweetheart I ordered your favourite nutritious dish, have a taste!” they would offer sweetly, seeing how tired you are from working and running errands all day. they make sure you get enough rest during busy days as well; especially mentioning sleeping enough, since good sleep is an important part of keeping yourself healthy. “that’s enough for today, okay? you’ve got to sleep to give your system time to process everything that happened to it. you cannot stay healthy if you overwork yourself sweetheart.” however, these comments are not a frequent thing, they usually keep them to themselves since they know you are a fully capable human being who knows their limits (or at least they hope so). thanks to their observing nature they approach most situations like a regular person, only using their knowledgeable medical side if absolutely necessary.

the ones who adore and baby you a lot: joshua, jeonghan, jun, mingyu

now these guys just kind of adore the fact that you need to be taken care of a little bit more carefully than some others, since they have so much love to share and give to you. they are a mix of actions and vocally emphasising what to be wary of, for example you not thinking ahead when doing certain things. “baby I love the idea of dancing in the rain, but it is literally in the middle of the night, you know how the temperature gets. cannot let my baby freeze and catch a bug now, can I?” although they would rather you didn’t get sick it is also not uncommon to see them coo at you day and night when they do need to take you under their protective wings when you are under the weather. “say ah, here comes your soup.” they would spoon-feed you every single time. “next time I will have to wrap you in bubble wrap like a baby so this becomes evitable.” another thing they like to do since they know you tend to get sick easier is wrap you up in winter, seeing the warm layers on you easing their minds knowing that the cold won’t affect you nearly as severely as without them; this way even though they aren’t there with you all the time they can be sure that you are okay.

[onlinesuzie]

can u write something about you and hamzah being apart and missing each other?? 😮‍💨😮‍💨🫶

♡ hamzah misses you ♡

words: 1.6k

genre: FLUFF!!

summary: Hamzah misses you a lot.

notes: guys i literally just needed an excuse to make hamzah the most cringe rom com man in the world.

☆

Hamzah couldn’t stop thinking about you. All day, thoughts of you filled his mind, he missed every part of you. It had only been a few days since you last saw each other, but to him, it felt like it was far too long. The warmth of your smile, the sound of your laughter, the way you always seemed to know how to make him laugh—he missed it all.

Hamzah was used to being busy. His days were often filled with filming and editing for slushy noobz. But today, even the excitement of a new video idea couldn’t distract him from how much he missed you. Sitting in his apartment, surrounded by cameras and editing equipment, he found it impossible to focus on anything else. Every glance at his phone, every moment of silence, brought him back to the same thought: I miss her.

Finally, as the afternoon sun began to go down, Hamzah made a decision. He closed his laptop, grabbed his keys, and left his apartment early. His audience would understand if the next video came out a little later than usual. Right now, there was something more important—someone more important—that he needed to see.

As he walked through the door, the rich scent of fresh flowers enveloped him. He scanned the colorful array, his eyes finally settling on a bouquet of your favorite flowers—soft pink roses mixed with delicate white lilies. He smiled to himself, knowing how much you would love them.

With the flowers in hand, Hamzah made his way to your favorite restaurant. The familiar smells of spices and freshly cooked dishes greeted him as he entered. He ordered a selection of your favorite meals, making sure to get everything just right. Once the food was packed up, he hurried to his car, excitement bubbling up inside him. He couldn’t wait to see the look on your face when you opened the door.

By the time he reached your house, the sky was painted with shades of orange and purple. His heart raced as he walked up to your front door, balancing the bouquet and the bags of food. He took a deep breath, hoping you’d be as happy to see him as he was to see you. Then, with a slight shake in his hand, he knocked.

You opened the door, and the moment your eyes met his, his nerves melted away. A smile spread across your face, lighting up the dimming evening. "Hamzah!" you exclaimed, surprised but clearly delighted. He handed you the flowers with a shy grin.

"I missed you so much," he said simply, his voice filled with genuine kindness. "And I thought maybe we could spend some time together?"

Your eyes softened as you took the flowers, their sweet fragrance filling the space between you. "You didn’t have to, Hamzah but I’m so happy I could cry," you replied, stepping aside to let him in. "These are so so so beautiful. Thank you so much."

Before Hamzah could respond, you leaned in and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. "I’ve missed you too, but don’t tell anyone" you whispered, your lips grazing his skin.

Hamzah’s smile grew, his eyes sparkling with affection. "I, um, also brought you something else, to you know.. eat!" he added, holding up the bags. "I wasn’t sure what you’d like today, so I got a little bit of everything."

"You are so cringe sometimes Hamzah," you laughed, leading him into the living room. "Well come on my loser! Let’s set up in here and eat ‘cause I am actually starving."

Inside, you both moved to the living room, where Hamzah set the food on the coffee table. You brought out a couple of blankets, draping them over the couch as he unpacked the containers. The room quickly filled with the savory scents of the meal. You laughed softly as you saw he’d ordered all your favorites, you couldn’t help but smile to yourself at how happy this boy makes you.

"How was editing today, my love?" you asked as you both sat down, plates in hand.

"It was okay, there was a lot we had to cut today though because Martin kept doing weird dances and for his ego i just could not release that," Hamzah replied, giving you a warm look. "I couldn’t stop thinking about you thought, so I decided to come see you. I hope you don’t mind."

"Of course, I don’t mind," you said, touched by his honesty. "I’ve missed you too. It’s been such a long week, and being with you is exactly what I needed."

As you ate, you couldn’t stop sharing glances at each other. It was as if no time had passed at all since you last saw each other. You told him stories from your insane week, laughed at jokes from the past, and fell into comfortable silence between bites, simply enjoying the company.

"Remember that time we got lost trying to find that restaurant?" you asked, a smile playing on your lips.

Hamzah smiled. "How could I forget? We wandered around for an entire hour before you realized we were on the wrong street the whole time.

"At least we eventually found it," you teased. "And the food was so worth it."

"Well.. I wouldn’t say it was truly worth it," he agreed. "But either way I think tonight’s food might be even better. But maybe and just maybe, it’s just the company."

"See, you are so cringe you idiot," you said, playfully nudging his shoulder. "But I guess you’re right, if i had to confess."

Hamzah laughed softly, and as you both finished your meal, he leaned in closer, his eyes locking with yours. "Oh! You’ve got something," he said surprised, his voice teasing as he pointed to your lips.

You raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? What?" You began wiping at your face.

"Stop, let me get it for you," he said, his tone playful. Before you could respond, Hamzah leaned in and kissed you, his lips brushing over yours in a tender moment. You felt your face glow red, warmth spreading through you as you kissed him back.

When he pulled away, his smile was soft, and his eyes were full of affection. "There," he whispered, "I think it’s all gone now."

You laughed, pushing him away from you. "You’re way too much, you know that?"

"Only for you," he replied, pretending to be hurt.

After dinner, Hamzah suggested watching a movie. You agreed, scrolling through the options until you found something you both liked. The lights were dim, and the only glow in the room came from the TV as the film began. You curled up next to him on the couch, wrapping the blanket around you both. Hamzah draped his muscular arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer. The steady rhythm of his breathing and the gentle rise and fall of his chest under your head made you feel safe and so happy.

As the movie played, you found yourself more focused on the way Hamzah’s fingers gently traced patterns on your arm than on the plot. You turned your head slightly to look up at him, catching the soft smile on his lips as he watched the screen. His happiness was infectious, and you couldn’t help but smile, too.

"You know," you whispered during a quiet moment in the movie, "I’m really glad you came over tonight. I didn’t realize how much I needed this, even if that means I have the most embarrassing boyfriend in the world."

Hamzah looked down at you, his expression tender. "Me too. I was worried you might be busy, but I just couldn’t stay away."

"You’re always welcome here, Hamzah," you replied, resting your head back on his shoulder. "Anytime."

Hamzah leaned down and kissed the top of your head, his lips lingering against your hair. "Thank you," he whispered, his voice filled with comfort. "That means a lot to me."

The movie eventually ended, but neither of you moved. You were too comfortable, too content to let the moment slip away. It was only when you glanced at the clock that you realized how late it had gotten. Hamzah noticed, too, and for a moment, there was a pause—neither of you wanting the night to end.

"Stay," you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper. "I don’t want you to go."

Hamzah didn’t hesitate. "I’d love to," he replied, his smile widening. "I didn’t really want to leave anyway."

"Good," you said, standing up and offering your hand to him. "Come on, let’s get ready for bed."

"Sounds perfect," Hamzah agreed, taking your hand and following you. "This has been the best night I’ve had in a long time."

As you led him to your bedroom, Hamzah gently pulled you to a stop, turning you to face him. He cupped your face in his hands, his thumbs softly caressing your cheeks. "I’m really glad I came over," he said, his voice low and full of emotion.

Before you could respond, Hamzah leaned in, capturing your lips in a heartfelt kiss. It was soft and unhurried, full of the emotions he couldn’t quite put into words. You melted into the kiss, your arms wrapping around his neck as you pulled him closer, enjoying the moment.

When you finally pulled away, both of you were breathless, but your smiles were wide.

"Me too," you whispered, your forehead resting against his.

You both got ready for bed, the routine now familiar and comforting. When you finally lay down, Hamzah pulled you close, his arm wrapped protectively around you. You nestled into his embrace, feeling his warmth and the steady beat of his heart against your back.

"Goodnight," he whispered into your hair, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head.

"Goodnight, Hamzah," you murmured back, your voice filled with contentment. Before you drifted off to sleep, you turned in his arms to face him, giving him one last sweet kiss on the lips.

[anarchywoofwoof]

well

here's the headline some of us collapse-aware folks have been dreading becoming mainstream for a long time now.

this is in a vice article. not some fringe website. this isn't fearmongering. this is reality.

so this isn't a small sample size. this a plea from 163 of of the 195 countries on the entire planet to act.

we have seriously broken something. and badly.

you people literally can't even take someone blocking traffic and making you late for brunch. you shit on Greta Thunberg. you shit on Just Stop Oil. you shit on anyone who tries to make any kind of meaningful difference. and then you say "we need movements." every movement that any radical with good intentions has tried to start in the 1st world on the left has been stomped out by the police time and time again. give me a fucking break.

trapped, is what they mean.

trapped in an unlivable wasteland with no food, no water, and no chance of survival.

millions of people are being forced back into half hour-hour commutes in the name steadying of corporate real estate prices. because a profitable business is more important than a habitable planet to the people with wealth who actually own the means of production.

the fact of the matter is that the rich and powerful will never, ever let you vote their power away and they will never agree to give away by choice. we can sing this song in a million different tunes, but it always has the same words. you gotta eat the rich.

[vice news]

[munthersahweel1]

‼️Please Help Munther Sahweel Family 🙏

Help Munther to get him treatment

We are the Munther family, from Gaza, a family of 6 members.

✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #256 )✅️

I have witnessed a tragedy in our lives in Gaza, where my family and I have survived many wars before. But today, we are facing the most dangerous and fiercest battle of the current war. The need is urgent for us, as we have nothing left and cannot secure our basic needs such as food, water, medicine and safe shelter.

Here is our story - On October 7th, our lives changed forever. My family and I left northern Gaza for southern Gaza, hoping to return soon, but that was not to be. Our home was surrounded and destroyed. Our home, once a bastion of hope, now lies in ruins, a stark reminder of our shattered dreams.

We left our home, and we left behind everything we had in our home: clothes, important official documents, literally almost everything - the magnitude of our loss weighed heavily on us.

Our home it was where we found hope, safety, and made precious memories. Losing it felt like losing years of our lives, leaving us adrift amidst the wreckage of our shattered existence.

I am Munther, I suffer from kidney problems (kidney stones) and chronic diseases (diabetes and high blood pressure). I face difficulty in obtaining the necessary medications.

My story with my sons, Karim 28 years old Information Technology major , Samir 26 years old, Bachelor of Accounting, Aseel 24 years old, studying business administration, and Layan 13 years old, a student.

We all feel psychological pressure and extreme anxiety. The war hasn't been limited to external attacks but has deeply infiltrated our daily lives. We search among the rubble for a little safety and the basic resources for survival. Every day comes with a new challenge that we must overcome.

As we sway amidst the rubble of shattered dreams, our souls wrestle and our hearts beat strongly challenging the ravages of war.

I need to build a better future for my sons, full of hope because we deserve life with all its meanings of comfort and peace.

Perhaps this fundraising campaign represents a light in the midst of darkness, it is indeed the only hope we cling to firmly.

I appeal to the world as a whole to hear my cry and the mournful cry of my family in Gaza. We need the helping hand that reaches out to wipe our tears and build a bridge to safety.

Your donation is not just a donation; it's an opportunity to rebuild life and brighten a better tomorrow. Be part of our hopeful story, for we need your hand to start anew.

The aim of this fundraising campaign is to save my family - we have no source of income to provide food, drink and medicine, this campaign is our only chance to survive, and I humbly ask for your help in this critical time.

✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #256 )✅️

Donation link on GoFundMe

Thank you for your kindness and support.

[beemovieerotica]

hey can you tell me how you got tested for OCD and/or started to think you had it?

yeeeess so it was literally 2018 when i was like "hm maybe i have OCD" to my therapist (who was not specialized in this) and she did not disagree with me and everything kind of clicked in that session between us when we both simultaneously realized a lot of my behaviors could be explained that way.

the hardest thing was that i'd already been diagnosed with generalized anxiety so like. "yes i obsess over conversations i've had or will have and repeat things over and over in my head" "yes i constantly check to make sure things are okay" "yes i hyperanalyze and hypercriticize myself" all got wrapped up in that.

i think the behavior that i actually brought up with that therapist that precipitated the realization was i started vacuuming a corner of my room repeatedly like over the course of several weeks, every day. just obsessively vacuuming this corner because i kept finding tiny cat litter crystals there from a previous tenant. i'd be literally picking it out of the carpet with my fingers with my head parallel to the floor just staring and trying to find these things for like an hour at a time. colossal waste of time. but it was "important." and i was finally like...THIS is excessive, right?

but i do a lot of things that are the opposite of "classic" OCD which confused me for YEARS - like i genuinely have such poor food hygiene and don't care about bodily fluids, i love touching sticky things, my personal things are poorly organized, my room was always a mess, etc etc.

i got officially evaluated when i went in for the psilocybin study (beginning of this year) where i met an OCD specialist for the first time who did this complete battery of questions with me. there were things i never realized were OCD for me:

very obsessed with parasitic insects and constantly checking for bedbugs and fleas even when i have no reason to suspect these things

constantly re-reading everything i write. 5x. 10x. saying whole sentences over and over in my head. the sentence is fine, i didn't make a mistake, but i just have to keep reading it to be 1000% sure.

rubbing my scalp a lot and pulling out random hairs on my legs, eyebrows, eyelashes

over-explaining so fucking much to be absolutely sure i'm not misunderstood or that someone can read bad intentions into what i'm saying. "predicting" conversations and anticipating entire lines of questioning and how i would defend myself. lol.

intrusive horror film-esque thoughts

being terrified as a child that i would be possessed by a demon if i yawned too wide - i had other extremely irrational superstitions that i would force on myself and try to live by for no reason, these started at like age 10

obsessions around my health (orthorexia, i've ping-ponged between various diets like vegan / gluten-free / vegetarian thinking that it would help me)

only ever felt normal when drinking. like i could just let go of the compulsions and anxiety while drunk.

it was really hard to even parse a lot of this out being 1) already anxious, 2) raised very religious, and 3) BOTH my parents and my older sister have OCD, so all this was just normal!! my mom also pulled out her hair. my mom and my sister also had eating disorders and very weird attitudes around medicine. superstitions and moral scrupulosity were encouraged in our community. i had no reason to think that any of this could all be linked back to an actual disorder.

i really wish i'd had intervention at least a decade or more earlier. this started when i was in grade school at least. it sucks. so much of the public perception of OCD is centered on the classic symmetry / cleanliness / hand-washing shit. it did not help that my family loved watching Monk when i was growing up so i was like "oh, i'm not like THAT" and never questioned it.

i think(?) i might go to the big OCD conference happening in the states next year, not sure, but i really want to talk to people about psilocybin. idk let me know if you have any other questions, i'm still processing a lot of this.

[sleepyconfusedpotato]

Wildflower

What should Ghost give during Valentine's Day to Jade when she's an actual florist who sees flowers literally every day?

Pairing : Simon “Ghost” Riley x Charlotte “Jade” Le Jardin (OC) Word Count : ~ 6.4k words Warning : Full on fluff-fest, a slight angst, and the good o'l cursings.

Title and story inspired by the song 'Wildflower' by Clay Finnesand and 'La Vie en Rose' by Louis Armstrong.

February 14th. 

Fucking Valentine’s day - a day full of love, they said. 

He never really celebrated or cared about any of those kinds of days where people commemorate shit like love. For him, it's just like any other day. He woke up today and did his workout before he went on jogging.

However, that day is different as he saw countless red and pink decorations in every store in his apartment neighbourhood, offering Valentine's day discount for couples. He swore he saw more couples walking down the street than usual, that he even saw a man propose to his girlfriend when he was jogging. 

Looking at them, Ghost remembered,

He already confessed to Jade during the New Years. 

Yep. He did.

Across the London Eye, when the fireworks painted the infinite black, the chimes of Big Ben rang throughout the Thames River, he said it to her, 

‘I think I’m falling in love with you.’

Only to disappoint her again by saying, ‘But I don’t think I’m ready yet.’

Had he been a coward for not being ready to commit yet? Jade was a shining light in his life. She knew of his struggles, and she treated him with kindness and fondness no woman ever did to him. All his life he never thought to fall in love with someone, yet here he was. 

He wanted to be in a relationship with her. Fuck, he wanted to. But she deserved the world. She deserved certainty and stability while his job was nothing but that. He could get deployed out of the blue anytime – die anytime. He had a lot of things to sort out first.

He saw tears in her green eyes despite the smile. She only hugged him in response, saying, 

‘I love you, so I’ll stay right here.’ Jade muttered shakily while pressing her body to his in a tight hug, her fingers grasping the back of Ghost’s jacket. 

‘When you’re ready, I’ll be here.’

‘Let’s be friends, yeah?’ She had added, to which he answered with a smile. “Yeah. We'll always be friends.”

That was New Years. 

It'd been two months since then. Ghost and Jade had been texting each other regularly all the while continuing their lives. They met occasionally for a food tour as Ghost was a food enthusiast. Their chat was full of ‘Let’s try the new Korean BBQ around the street’, ‘You ever tried a fried ice cream?’, ‘There’s a new movie about a lady becoming a superhero across multiple universes’, and more casual stuff like those. Meanwhile Jade would take him to physical activities such as take him to a zoo, hiking, and even go to arcades. 

Johnny had been such a tease on it. He’d been bothering Ghost the whole time in the base as the Lieutenant looked at his phone and typing away on it more frequently than ever. ‘Yer’ lookin’ very happy these days, Sir.’ , ‘How’s Jade doin’?’, ‘Another ‘meet-up’ with Jade?’, 

‘Yer’ so full of rubbish. That’s called a date.’ Soap had said. 

'Shut your gob. We’re just friends, Johnny.’

‘Friends who go on dates together.’

Soap ran away before Ghost could smack the shit out of him. 

But was it really? Ghost and Jade frequently walk together, as friends, Eating at places together, as friends. Watch movies together, as friends. 

But seeing that one guy propose to his girlfriend lit up a spark in him.

That's when Ghost texted her for a meet-up somewhere, Jade replied back with,

‘I would LOVE to if it's not the busiest time of the year T_T and every Valentines we'd open from early morning to midnight, so I'm really sorry. We have all our employees working, but it doesn't seem to make any difference.’

He forgot that Valentine’s day is literally the most important day for a florist. Fucking idiot.

Ghost sighed as he looked up from his phone, right in front of the Le Jardin floristry. He wore a black hoodie and a face mask, the black face paint absent from around his eyes as he was on leave, a rare occurrence from his line of work. Inside the garden was an organised chaos, to say the least. Ghost saw at least 6 customers inside the garden, around 4 employees going around the shop to accompany them. Even as one person went out after buying a flower, two people would enter the shop to replace them. The place was positively crowded.

He looked far and wide for Jade inside among the sea of people, until a woman with ginger hair came out of a room with a big rose bouquet, giving it to a man in an expensive suit that was tailored to perfection for his figure. The man paid for the humongous flowers and left the shop with a nervous face, meanwhile Jade instantly attended to another customer. He could tell that she's a leader based on how she commanded her employees with such confidence and authority, yet still had that kindness and gentleness in her way of talking. Her legs brought her around the shop with utmost speed and precision, not a single step was wasted on her feet.

He could only smile proudly beneath the mask. 

For about 15 minutes he observed the shop, until a truck pulled up in front of an alleyway right beside the floristry. Didn't have to wait long to understand that the vehicle was meant to pick up flower decorations for a wedding as an old man came out from the alleyway (presumably connected to the backdoor of the shop) brought out a very big, white bouquet in his arms, which size was so big it concealed his head - surely he couldn't see where he was stepping. Ghost noticed that he was struggling to lift the giant decoration onto the truck, his knees looked like it was about to tumble, until his prediction turned into reality.

The old man's knees failed him, and the big white flower decoration would turn into a mess on the ground, if not for Ghost, who quickly leaped in and held the flowers from falling. Ghost huffed in relief that he jumped just in time. 

The man leaned to the side of the decoration to see who had just saved him, and saw a big, tall man dressed in a black hoodie and jeans, whose face was concealed by another black face mask.

Regardless, the elder smiled wide, "Oh good heavens! Thank you so much for the assist! My knees aren't as strong as they used to." The old man said as they both put the white decorations into the truck box. "Ah~ being young is so much easier innit?"

Ghost only nodded, avoiding eye contact to hide his identity. Why'd he help him? probably just from reflex, but then again, how could he just leave an old man stumbling to his fall?

"I'm really sorry for the trouble. I wish I could repay you." The old man's expression was so kind it's almost blinding. He wasn't that short or frail for a man with entirely white hair, probably a 5'9". Judging by his quite muscular arms from his rolled sleeves, he could tell that he's not weak, his knees just betrayed him at a bad time. 

Ghost didn't say anything to the man as he was about to walk away to avoid more interaction, before a familiar feminine voice called.

"Papa! Are you okay!? I saw you trip!"

Both men turned their attention to the shop, where a woman with braided red hair and dark blue apron was talking from the main doorway. 

"Don't worry, Lottie Dear. I got it, but only thanks to this young lad right here." He gestured to Ghost, where he stood right on the elder's left. "If not for him, we'd have to replace all the flowers." 

Fuck.

The old man is her father. 

It's Mister Le Jardin. 

Her green eyes caught the sight of a man whose built and sense of fashion she would recognize from a mile away. "Wait... Ghost??" Jade exclaimed, her face filled with surprise, "What are you doin' here??" 

The SAS lieutenant looked up to her with a tinge of panic on his concealed face, while Mr. Le Jardin observed him up and down. "Oh? You know him?" 

Jade nodded slowly, still shocked, "Yes... he's uh… he's a friend from work." 

He never intended to be noticed by Jade, afraid of disturbing her work, let alone meet her father out of all people. 

The father noticed that word. 'From work'. 

"Really now? What's your name, young man?" Mr. Le Jardin asked, his voice went higher in delight. 

He lowered his head to bow a little, before answering, "Simon... Sir."

"Ah. Nice to meet you, Simon! I'm Eli, owner of Le Jardin along with my wife Gracie – she's inside dealing with the clients." He introduced himself with a handshake, which Ghost reluctantly accepted. 

"Sir! Where're the rest of the flowers?!" The truck driver shouted as he got off his vehicle, prompting Eli to walk to the back door through the alleyway, leaving Ghost and Jade at the front of the shop, her face still painted with shock. A lady walked in front of Jade to enter the shop, so she made some way for her and approached Ghost. 

"Hey Ghost." The red-head started, happiness filling her voice. 

"Hey." 

"So… What brings you here?" She surely knew that he wasn't there just because he 'happened to be in the area', so he deleted that reply in his mind. 

"I wanted to see you."

Jade's eyes widened, surprised at his straight-forward answer. "Oh." 

"Your old man lost his balance loading this decoration into the truck, so I helped him." 

"Oh." Still with the same answer, Jade couldn't tell him how fast her heartbeat was, as her father just came in contact with Ghost, the man she fell in love with.

He looked inside the shop, observing the clients and employees walking around. "Busy day innit?"

"Yeah, it is. To be honest we've been busy since the last 3 days. Had to pick up tons of fresh flowers from our fields back in Norfolk, then arrange them for this day. Today's the busiest day, so it's an all-hands-on-deck situation. Also a big wedding is coming up tonight, and we have to transport these humongous flowers to a hotel ballroom for decorations. Biiig money. This is the third truck." Jade explained as her father and the truck driver walked out with two exact copies of the same white flower decor, lifting them up into the truck before immediately running back in. Third truck? The client must've had too much money on their wallets.

Seeing the scene that's happening in front of him, Ghost took a deep breath and blew it out. 

"Seems like your Da can use an extra pair of arms and younger knees." His deep voice suggested, making Jade's eyebrow rise. 

"Oh? Are you willing to help us out?" 

A nod was all she needed as a confirmation. "Got nothin' else to do or to be."

A wide grin fell on her lips as she grabbed Ghost's right hand and pulled him into the alleyway and to the back door of the shop, where a vast storage room was packed full of flower decorations similar to the ones that were being lifted to the truck. There were only flowers where the eye could see, save for the door that led to the front shop. There were huge boxes and boxes of flowers that had big 'Ian & Gia 14/02's written on them.

Ghost turned to the woman beside her. "Big money, eh?"

"Suuuuper big. Businessman and a big shot pianist. Wanted all the jasmines of blue white and red, and we gotta lift them all to the truck." She explained smiling to him, "Think you're up for this?"

"Won't even break a sweat." Ghost began stepping into the storage room, lifting three big boxes at once in his arms. Jade was left impressed by his show of strength as he ran to the truck at an impressive speed, before coming back and picking up more boxes like a machine, his hoodie still up and his mask still on. 

Jade scoffed at his feat, as her father came to pat her shoulder from behind, "A soldier huh?"

"...Yeah."

"It's basically written on his whole figure and posture. Is he any special in his regiment?"

The daughter could only let out a light laugh, "Very, very much so."

"Get out of here." His father looked at her in disbelief, "SAS?" 

"Yep. One of the strongest, and I'm not even exaggerating." 

His loud laugh filled the alleyway as Ghost ran back and forth lifting the flower boxes without a second wasted and tiredness showing. Jade smiled before heading into the shop to aid her mother and her co-workers with the regular customers. 

------

“Chacha, the pink wrapping paper and white 2.5 is out! We need more from the storage, please!” shouted Fiona, her co-worker and best friend of southeast asian descent, who mainly works in the front counter, preparing the flowers right in front of the visitors (which worked as an added value to attract more people). Her wrapping skills were second to none in the shop, even to Gracie, Jade’s mother, who sat right beside her counting the incoming revenues and accepting orders by call. 

“One minute!” Jade shouted back from the studio room, which was right behind the wall of the main display room while her hands also swiftly moved to arrange roses inside a heart-shaped box. The order had come in pretty fast; she had to make three of them at a time, and now she had to go up to the second floor to get the items Fiona requested. 

“Let me get it.” A deep voice came from behind her, making Jade flinch and look back to the source of the voice, where Ghost stood. 

“A-Are you done with the loading?” Jade asked him with a start, as it was not even 20 minutes since he started to help her father lift all the flowers inside the truck. 

“Just finished. Truck left just now with your dad to arrange the decorations in the ballroom.” 

“Oh.” Jade leaned back to take a glimpse of the back storage room, and true to his words, it was empty. “Wow.”

“Where are these… pink wrappings and the ‘white 2.5’s’?” Asked Ghost with a tone of confusion in his words. Jade could only giggle as she never thought she’d hear the word ‘pink’ out of his mouth. 

“Okay, so go to the second floor. On your 3, duck down and the pink wrapping is on the 3rd shelf from the bottom - take 4 rolls of ‘em. ‘White 2.5’s’ means the white-coloured satin ribbon with a 2.5 centimetres width. Don’t mistake them for the rest as there are the .5, 1.2, 4, and 5 centimetres as well. From the shelf go to your left and there should be a high rack and you can find the thingy there. Take two rolls. Don’t forget to close the door before you go down.” 

Ghost stood in silence as he processed the information.

Before Jade could ask him if he remembered all that, he answered: “Affirmative.” 

The man walked to the side stairs and stepped over 2 stairs, disappearing from her sight to the upper floor. Jade scoffed at the sight before going back to her handiwork. When else can you command an SAS officer like this?

----------

“Chachaaa~ Where're the pink wrappings and white 2.5s?! I need ‘em no–” Fiona noticed the new pink wrappings and white ribbons on the table as she worked. That was fast. 

She then looked up, expecting to find her red-headed best friend who was shorter than her, only to find a big, tall man dressed in a black hoodie and a face mask instead, who exudes danger in the way he stands. Fiona, Gracie, and the clients looked him up and down with mouths agape, as they never saw this giant man around, ever. The scene looked too damn comical for his liking.

“...Is this correct?” Ghost started with a voice lower than the depths of hell, which surprised the whole room. Fuck. Being looked at by people was the one thing he wanted to avoid, but here he was.

“Lottie dear, Who’s this?” the old lady beside Fiona asked Jade with a quite high volume, who was still inside the studio arranging the heart-shaped roses.

Judging by the nickname and those braids in her gray hair similar to Jade's, this lady could only be Gracie, her mother. 

Mrs. Le Jardin. 

“H-He’s a friend from work! I called him up here to lend a hand!” Jade shouted back from the studio. Even with the answer, all the people were still staring at him, especially Jade’s mum, and it felt like having ten laser sights aiming at him.

He swore he saw a smirk from Gracie.

So before he attracted more attention, Ghost repeated, “Is this correct?” 

“Y—yeah.” Fiona answered nervously, meanwhile her mother was still eyeballing him like she found a leprechaun. Upon hearing that confirmation, Ghost left the items in the counters and fast-walked back to the studio where Jade was, disappearing from sight. 

-----------

“Chacha, are you serious? ‘A friend from work’?” Fiona asked her best friend as she threw a piece of french fries into her mouth. The Le Jardin floristry was currently having a lunch break, and most of the employees went out to get their own meals, while the two stayed inside to talk about the man who was currently sweeping the floor of the studio alone, silently.

Fiona stared at his back from where they were eating at a counter, chewing at her fries. “Are you saying that you have a friend built like that with a voice like that working as a volunteer in the orphanage dealing with kids???”

“Nooo no no, that’s not it–!” That was where Jade messed up. She forgot that neither her best friend, nor any one of their employees know that the Le Jardins used to be MI6 black agents, except the fact that Jade was adopted. They both started to become friends when Fiona applied for the job 3 years ago, right when Jade just retired from MI6. All that she knew was the fact that Jade only had two jobs: Floristry on weekdays and in the orphanage for weekends. She never mentioned the other work that she did for the last two decades of her life. “I didn’t mean from work, I mean I met him when I was at work.” 

“Oh really?”

“Yeah.” 

“When and how did you meet him? Heck what is his name?” Shit. She needed to make up stories about him at this point. But what?! Jade hated lying. Sure it’s super easy to manipulate people by changing reality, but she didn’t want to lie to her best friend! Fiona’s the one who’s been helping her adjust to the life of being a florist and a normal life for the last three years (after saying that she’d been living abroad). 

However, how can Jade just say, ‘oh so actually I was an MI6 agent. Both of your bosses were too, actually. Not only agents – we were black agents who were trained since we were not old enough to make our own decisions to do the illegal stuff! I retired three years ago and that's when I met you, but they called me back again, and that’s when I met that guy who happened to be an officer of one the most elite task forces in the world!' 

That’s just absurd!

How did she meet him? How did she meet him?! 

"Ja– I mean Midg– I mean Lottie, where do I put these–"

The two women turned their heads to Ghost, who came out of the studio with the broom and dustpan in his hands. Looking at the two women's expression, he knew he fucked up. He didn't know what to call her outside of work. Her call sign 'Jade' was directly tied to her work as an MI6 and he couldn't know for sure if Fiona knew about that name. 'Midget' was the name he called her regularly, but he thought it was too harsh in front of her best friend, while 'Lottie' was…

"Why did you call her that?" Fiona asked him while chewing her fries, suspicion painting het face, while Jade sucked her lips and widened her eyes in shock.

Fuck. He thought right. It's a pet name used exclusively by her parents. 

"Wait. No way." She turned to Jade and Ghost back and forth before standing up abruptly, startling Jade, meanwhile Ghost stood calmly, still holding the cleaning tools in his hands.

"Chacha… is he your secret boyfriend?!?" 

That sentence shocked both of them as Jade quickly denied in panic, "No! No, he's not!! Just– sit down will you?" 

"That name is exclusively used by the bosses, ya know." She started walking towards Ghost slowly. 

Jade followed her from behind, trying to hold her friend back. "Fiona, he isn't! I swear!"

"No, seriously. How did you meet her? When?" She started closing in on Ghost excitedly, looking up at him. "What’s your name, by the way?"

“Simon.” Ghost answered deadpanly, as the last question was literally the only question he can answer casually. As long as he didn’t give out his last name, it’d be fine. “Name’s Simon.” 

"Ooooooh so he's the reason why you've been going out a lot after closin' up! You've been on dates!!" 

"NO!! We haven't–" 

"Yes."

Ghost's deep voice interrupted the two girls' argument, making them look at the man. 

"We've been on dates." 

Jade's face turned as red as her hair, and her heart beat so fast and so hard she swore Fiona and Ghost could hear it. Why was he suddenly doing this??? All the while, Fiona's jaw dropped to the floor, eyes glaring at her best friend in shock. 

Jade glanced at Ghost, but that damned hoodie and face mask did not help her at all. "I KNEW IT!!! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU'VE BEEN DATING BEHIND MY BACK??? I mean– I am happy for you, Chacha, but WHY ARE YOU HIDING IT FROM ME???" Fiona excitingly chimed to her best friend, grabbing Jade's shoulders before shaking them like she's a ragdoll. 

"Wait– Fiona I can explain–"

"Okay! Explain then! Tell me everything! And don't you dare try to hide anything from me." That's right. She deserved to know. Fiona had been with her for the past three years. She's her first best friend ever. Jade knew she could trust her.

Jade relented with a big sigh and glanced at Ghost with a questioning look. He caught her cue before he himself took a deep breath. "As long as she can keep her mouth shut."

Fiona turned to Ghost, "Wh-what? What is this about?"

"Fiona. My dear best friend. My very beautiful friend that I trust. I love you, so, so much, so I will tell you the truth." Jade started before Ghost cut her again. 

"Jade where do I put the broom and the dustpan."

"Owh just put it on the side there yeah. Thanks."

"Who's Jade?"

—------------

"Okay. So let me get this straight." Fiona clapped her hands together in front of Ghost and Jade, who were sitting on the chairs behind the counter together while Fiona was standing up. Jade sat like she was being interrogated, while Ghost folded his arms in front of his chest.

"You, Chacha, had been working as an MI6 black agent for the last twenty years, since you were a wee kid, and then retired three years ago." Jade nodded.

"But two years ago, they called you back to this city called… Verdansk, and that's where you meet… Simon." She gestured to Ghost, who nodded.

"You only met briefly, until last October, you got called back from retirement again, and that's when you met him for the second time. But this one was special, as you guys started to develop feelings for each other, am I right?" Both of them nodded. 

"GOD this sounds like a Wattpad type of shite!!" Fiona grasped her hair from frustration, "And you're an MI6 BLACK AGENT??? REALLY???"

"Was. Papa and Mama were, too, actually." 

"Oh my Dear Lord in Heavens. THE BOSSES WERE BLACK AGENTS TOO?????" Jade nodded again. Clearly she didn't have any single clue of the burden that came with the words 'MI6', 'agent', especially with the added word 'black' in front of it.

"And you, Simon. So you're a soldier. Which one are you from? Navy? Is it the Royal Artillery? Or is it Life Guards like James Blunt?" Fiona asked with her very limited military knowledge. 

"You promised to keep your mouth shut so keep your promise." That voice came out harsher than he intended it to be, prompting Fiona to be taken aback.

"SAS."

The black-haired woman gasped so hard, covering her mouth in shock. "...like Bear Grylls?"

Jade couldn't help the giggle, as Ghost was utterly flabbergasted at her reaction as that was the first thing that came to her mind from the revelation. "...Yeah. Like Bear Grylls. And no I don't know him."

"Wow. Okay. So why the face mask? Does this have anything to do with secrecy and stuff?" Fiona asked him again as Ghost still had the hoodie up and face mask. She hadn't seen his face at all. "Am I not allowed to see his face? Wait Chacha you have seen his face right?"

"Of course I have! What do you mean by that!?" Jade countered, clearly overwhelmed by the barrage of questions. "Ghost. it's up to you."

Ghost huffed, lifting up one hand to the upper hem of his face mask. Fiona observed as Ghost pulled down the mask for a good 3 seconds, catching a glimpse of his strong jaw, his light brown stubble, the faint scars on his face, before putting the face mask back into place again. "Happy now?"

"Oh. Wow. Okay. I am happy." Fiona confirmed with start, turning to look at Jade again, "Chacha you hit a jackpot on this one – so you guys are a couple, right?"

The man and woman looked at each other for a long time, Jade bit her lower lip as her expression fell. Ghost could only close his eyes in regret. 

"Wait, no way you guys aren't a thing already. Whaaaatttt?" Fiona expressed her confusion because, for the last two months, Jade had started to buy more makeup and clothes, and the sudden interest in her looks had made Fiona suspicious. She really thought her best friend was dating a man secretly, but now that he's right here, both of them could not say that they're in a relationship?

"Look, Fiona… it's complicated, okay? We're just taking things slow right now. Our… jobs have their own risks, and we're just trying to enjoy things as they are now." Jade tried to explain with a bit of a sad tone to her voice. 

"So… you guys are friends, who happen to go on dates occasionally?" Fuckin' hell. Ghost thought. How could she say the exact same thing as Soap? Was it really weird? For two friends to just go together doing whatever they liked? 

After both of them nodded for the hundredth time that day, Fiona sighed in acceptance. "Chacha, Luv, I might not understand what you guys are going through right now, but Simon," she turned to Ghost, who lifted his head to see her clearly. "You better not make her cry." 

The man glanced to his side, where Jade silently sat on the chair. He knew she'd already hurt her feelings by saying he wasn't ready for a relationship yet, but if he wanted to be honest with himself, was ‘scared’ and ‘afraid’ the right word for it? As Soap and Fiona said, they’re literally doing what couples do. 

He’s just afraid to put a name on it. 

“I’ll try.” 

—------------

Jade had texted him earlier that during Valentine’s, Le Jardin’s floristry would open until midnight. Ghost wondered why as it had been a while since the employees had gone home, including Fiona (who told her that they were going to have a long chat on the phone) who had to go home and have dinner with her family. The sun had long drowned, replaced by the moon that accompanied the cold winter of London. Warm lights from the shops and a few street lights were the only thing lighting up the streets - one of them coming from the floristry. 

The sales peaked around 6 PM to 9 PM when people finished their work to be with their loved ones. Ghost had absolutely no skills in flower arranging or wrapping, so he did all he could to help the other employees to pick tools or items from high shelves, and even change the lightbulb when one of them died. Ghost didn’t mind it one bit as he found simple domestic things like this relaxing compared to what he did in the military - full of pressure, stress, and blood. 

Meanwhile, the utmost form of stress in Le Jardin’s (at least what he saw today), was a customer who kept changing the flowers that he wanted, and then lashing out at Fiona when his bouquet wasn’t tied the way he wanted to. Ghost almost wanted to step in, drag him out of the store, and throw him out to the streets, but Jade stepped in and calmly asked the customer for references, dealing with the situation one at a time, and finally, the man stomped out. Ghost knew that there were more variety of problems in retail, but at least he got to experience one today. To be honest that was probably the least angry person in London. 

That was 3 hours ago. Now, there’s only the Le Jardins and Ghost; the father had come home at around 4 PM after finishing the decorations. He took a photo of the ballroom and showed it to his family and Ghost, who was quite amazed at the old man’s sense of composition and aesthetic. 

The four of them were all in the front room, Gracie counting the revenues, Jade tidying up the display flowers, Eli wiping the windows, and Ghost sweeping the floors (again). The clock showed 00.23, the shop was empty, and even the cafe opposite them was already closed. As Ghost finished his chore, he put the cleaning tools to the side before approaching Jade.

“Are you not closin’? It’s past midnight.” He muttered to her, who was tidying up the edelweiss display. 

Jade smiled, “We usually extend about an hour.” 

“Why?” 

“You’ll see.”

Just as he was about to question it, the phone rang besides Gracie, who picked up the call immediately,

“Le Jardin Floristry. Yes, we are still open. You might be our last client, Sir. We do have tulips available. What colour? Red and pink, got it. The bouquet will be here when you arrive. Yes. We’ll be here, Sir, don’t worry. Thank you!” After confirming the order, Gracie smiled towards Ghost as she put the phone back. “That’s why, Simon Dear.”

About twenty minutes later, a man entered the shop in a hurry, dressed in a dirty fire brigade jacket. He clearly just finished his work and then drove to the floristry immediately after he extinguished whatever fire broke out somewhere. The moustached man approached the counter, where Jade had his order ready. “I’m here for my tulips?” He muttered, clearly tired from the way he panted. 

“Here it is, Sir. That’ll be 18 pounds.” 

“Thank you so much. You guys were the only shop open at this time. I’m forever grateful. I already told my wife and children that I’ll be late, but I truly felt bad.” He pulled out his wallet before putting a 20-pound note on the counter. 

“A pleasure for us, Sir. Have a good night!” Gracie chimed as he took the tulips in his hands, exited the shop and finally drove off. With that, Eli flipped the ‘Open’ tag to the ‘Closed’ tag.

“Delightful! Now.” Mr. Le Jardin put his hands on his hips, “Let’s have dinner.” Once Ghost heard that, he immediately planned his escape from the floristry like he needed to escape an enemy’s vicinity. 

“Simon Dear, you’re joining us, aren’t you?” But after hearing the gentle yet commanding tone coming out of Gracie, he decided against it, as what he heard in his ear was, ‘We’re going to have a conversation about you and my daughter’. 

—-------

“So, Simon Dear.” Gracie's voice startled Ghost as he was cutting the carrots for the chicken soup they're making, all the while Gracie was stirring the ladle on the pot. His hood was still up on his head, but he's taken off his mask to smell the chicken broth in front of him. He figured that if there's a civilian he'd let see his face, it's an ex-MI6 whose daughter he loved.

It was only the two of them in the kitchen on the third floor as Eli and his daughter were still tidying up the first floor. “Are you Lottie’s boyfriend?” 

Fuck. There’s the question. “No, Ma’am." He replied slowly, "Not yet."

Ghost expected a questioning look followed by a 'why', but instead she gave him a light nod. “She’s very fond of you, I think you should know."  That one caught Ghost's attention, briefly slowing down his slices. Did Jade talk to her mother about him?

"The way she talks about you, I know how deeply she really cared for you. She saw her future with no man, at all, until she met you. Had to do with 'understanding one another' she said." Gracie put in more black pepper into the pot.

“May I know, what stopped you from committing to her?”

More questions to answer, but this one, he didn't know how to answer. 

“...I don’t know, Ma'am."

Not long, Gracie muttered with a tone he almost forgot. Motherly. “...Are you afraid?”

And that's when he found himself so vulnerable, so open. And the weird thing was, he only felt like this when he's with Jade. He thought Gracie's her adoptive mother, but this magical familial trait where people could instantly open up to them was almost scary. 

Was it a yes? No, he's not afraid. He just thought that if they started dating, she might be wasting her time with him. Well, he's afraid that all this love that he's feeling and all these moments with be for naught if he's just dead after a deployment gone wrong. He can't promise anything to her. Ghost knew how serious Jade was about a relationship. She wanted a long-lasting one.

Ghost didn't mutter a word out of his mouth. Only continuing his work. He could feel her gaze on him, but he still chose to stay silent.

He expected judgement, but what came was a light smile. “You remind me of Eli and me, back when we were still with MI6."

"He was afraid of the life we’ll lead. Constantly running, followed by death everywhere we go. Stability and domesticity was a dream impossible to achieve.” As Ghost listened and wondered how the fuck did she read his mind, he lifted the cutting board and poured the cube-cut carrot into the pot. 

“However, I can tell him anything, he can tell me anything.” Gracie continued, looking up at him. Her gaze was as soft as Jade's, grey eyes softly gazing into his soul. “Eli had his own problems, I had my own, but what mattered was the fact that we both tried to be better, for my own sake, and for his sake.”

“He was my best friend, and I was his. It was a leap of faith to be together.” She said as her palm tapped his shoulder firmly.

“I’m saying this as her mother. If you love her, then go all in. She deserves all of you.”

---

Dinner was eventful, to say the least. The Le Jardins, plus Ghost, ate their dinner together in their house on the third floor. Chicken and vegetable soup accompanied by warm cups of tea was enough to fill their stomachs. Ghost, of course, had to take his hood down and took off his face mask to eat with the three of them.

It felt odd. 

When was the last time he had a family dinner like this? Eating a delicious meal without having to find a place where there's no other people? A place where he could freely show his face to others, the warmth of a family? 

It didn't take long for Eli to finish his meal, as he stood up and put on 'La Vie en Rose' by Louis Armstrong on the classic gramophone. Gracie scoffed loudly, stood up, and took Eli's hand in hers. 

"Heeeere we go." Jade rolled her eyes, seeming like she had to watch this for the thousandth time.

As Louis Armstrong started to sing, the two old couple put out an amazing slow dancing show in front of Ghost and Jade. Seeing them so unashamedly happy, and the fact that both of their eyes only stared at each other with so much love, Ghost unconsciously smiled.

And when he turned to look at Jade, there was she, two hands holding her phone horizontally, taking a video of her parents, grinning ear to ear while her eyes gleamed with joy.

It's such a warm scene to witness. 

He only hoped it was him and her in place of Eli and Gracie.

—------------

The time showed 02.13. Ghost and Jade were standing in front of the shop, a long scarf wrapped around Ghost's neck as the cold was harsh that time of the day. Jade insisted that he wore them, or she said he would catch a cold. 

"Thank you, Ghost. For today. My dad had been having regular trouble with his knee, so thank you so so much." Jade started, cheeks blushing that was certainly not because of the February winter. 

"Well, I doubt that, considering how well he danced with your mum." Ghost replied, making Jade laugh. Her smile was a sight he'd never get tired of seeing. “Are you going anywhere tomorrow?” 

That question quite surprised her. “Well… Tomorrow my shift starts at 3 PM. So I'm free in the morning. Why?"

“I want to make do for today. We haven’t had a proper… date. Yet. I honestly had wanted to bring you flowers, but I remembered you're a florist. So I felt like a prat.”

Her face turned as red as tulips at that. “Honestly, you helping out in the shop was more romantic than anything you could ever give."

"Oh yeah?" 

"Yeah! So… what are you thinkin’ for tomorrow? What do you wanna do, Ghost?”

“What do you wanna do?” He asked back.

“Oh? W-well… Hmmm." Jade contemplated, pouting her lips, glancing at the moon high in the sky. "Ice skating. And then Korean barbecue after.”

“I-Ice skating?” Ghost stuttered, not expecting that answer. 

“Yeah. What, you afraid you’re gonna fall?”

“I have no clue what you’re talkin’ about.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll hold you if you do.” 

He wanted to say something along the lines of 'fuck-off' or 'sod you'. But he deleted that reply before it came out of his mouth, instead saying, "Please do."

Jade grinned ear-to-ear at that response. She was anticipating a clap back from him, but it was such an unusually warm reply that she couldn't help the blush in her cheeks.

No matter how much she wanted him to stay close to her, he had to go, and Jade said her goodbye. "Thank you for today. See you tomorrow, Simon."

Still standing still, Ghost muttered, "It was fun."

She thought he was going to start walking away towards his apartment, but instead, a glimmer of light reflected on his brown irises, still gazing at hers with such hopeful and wistful eyes.

And before she knew it, Ghost leaned in closer to her face, and placed a soft peck on her cheek.

As he stood back, Jade saw that his face burnt red, seeming like what he just did took great courage and resolution. His face still so close to hers, Ghost left her speechless.

And before she could say anything, he said his last words to her that night,

"See you tomorrow, Lottie."

----------------------

Hope you like it! (❁´◡`❁)

[chaifootsteps]

Seeing stars if it was good

(assuming Loona is up to speed about via)

Stolas: why would she do this? It’s not my fault I forgot the promise, she’s just so impatient! She doesn’t consider how upset this all makes me.

Loona: Hey, youre the adult here, cut your daughter some slack. She’s just a kid. Everyone lashes out when they’re young and confused, especially if going through shit at home. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t care. Actually it’s the opposite.

Stolas: If she cares why would she run away?

Loona: Well, this affair and the divorce going on right now, that was all your choice. Via doesn’t have a say in that. The family drama all across the news, all that gossip, that shit was your choice too. Her moving home every weekend, that was also you guys’ choice. Maybe…maybe lashing out was her way of getting control back.

Stolas: I never wanted to be married, I never even wanted to become a father. But I’m trying anyway!My whole life was set in stone. Yes what I did was rash. But it was desperation. It was true love! He taught me I could choose, that’s why he’s my destiny, my soulma—

Loona: Oh shut it with that soap opera crap. You may not have wanted it, but you were married, and you are a father now. You always will be one of those things, and what type of dad you are? That part is completely up to you. Don’t give someone else credit for letting you choose, cause if you do that, you’re still giving power to somebody else. I grew up in a freakin cage dude. With literal metal bars. I know what I’m talking about. You grew up in a massive palace full of food, a big bed, servants, and a huge swimming pool. I think you had more choice than you realise. And controlling others like you do, doesn’t make you more free.

Stolas: I have no idea what you’re talking about. All my life has been is a pain and torment. I’ve been an excellent father given my circumstances for seventeen years, I just made some mistakes. Doesn’t everyone?

Loona: (sighs) Well yeah, like I said, people lash out and do rash things when they’re trying to take control back. No matter how hard it is, you still love your daughter don’t you?

Stolas: Of course I do.

Loona: Then focus on that. Try to be happy with your kid in a way that’s stable, with trust, before you go off getting revenge on your bitch wife or starting a relationship with some guy. She expected you to keep your promise, and got disappointed when you didn’t. That’s more important than you think.

Stolas: It is?

Loona: Yup. When she starts expecting you to let her down so often that she doesn’t even get her hopes up to start with, that’s when you need to worry.

Stolas: I…see.

Loona: Now let’s go get your daughter. There’s still time to see the meteor shower.

If this had actually happened in canon and actually stuck, if this were the kind of writing we were getting consistently, I guarantee you I would be a softer on Helluva. Not on Viv herself, but on the show, definitely.

[itsrecoverytimebitch-blog]

Ridiculously long post of depression tips

In the words from some of my favorite books, people and games:

"Road to recovery is a long one, but you will make it." - Volition from Disco Elysium

"Be selfish. Be brave." - Babel

"You can and you will make it." - Someone I know

This will be a ridiculously long post as I'm trying to put everything I know/have learnt over the years on it, so might break it into parts if need be. I'm not a doctor, but fellow survivor and this is what I've found useful. Take what you need from the post. WE GOT THIS!

Basic self care

Crucial. Important. In some cases, life or death.

I will include the obvious tips and some random specific ones.

Sleep

It literally heals your mind when got right. Some things to make it happen:

Go to bed and wake up at the same time. Even if insomnia keeps you awake, stay consistent with the bed times.

Give yourself ridiculous amount of time for the rest. When I'm bad and in recovery, I start prepping for sleep at 8pm. People will not mind, they might be a bit surprised at first, but it's not really their business.

Be firm with yourself about technology before bed. I strive for putting my mobile off for the night, and only look at it AFTER I've had my morning coffee.

Really long walk and some kind of sleepy tea of your choice is an EXCELLENT combo for good rest.

Sleep is also tied to other basic self care, so you need to be doing all of it - but good news, more you do the easier it gets because you get better.

If you fuck up any of these points - say, stay until 3pm on your phone looking at memes - don't beat yourself up (even if that's the natural thing you'll want to do when you're suffering from depression), but don't give in either, thinking that letting yourself KEEP doing this is self care and being merciful on yourself. No. If you fuck up, it is okay and human, but KEEP AT IT. Think of all the process you've made so far despite the fuck up. Keep going. Don't let yourself get discouraged by one or few fuck ups, but make it a top priority to get back on track. You will make it. You deserve a good life and sleep will definitely help.

Food

Making food while depressed is exhausting. You need to choose the ingredients, buy them, then make the food. And your depression might tell you lies, such as what's the point and I don't deserve to eat well. But they are lies! You do deserve it. It is important to do this right to not get into financial ruin, and keep a healthy diet. This is tricky, but you can get there. Some tips:

When you're doing a little better, prepare a LOT of food, and then freeze a lot of it. Little gift for the future self who is struggling.

Keep a lot of easy good snacks around. Include fruit. Eat when hungry.

Speaking of fruit, have some at the house and eat often.

Include protein in your food. However, if you really are struggling and there's nothing but pasta in the house and you're starving, eat the damn pasta.

Accumulate a lot of simple recipes you can make quickly. Tomato pasta with some protein is a good one, especially with some Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese.

Making food can be helpful for depression, although when the worst is on it's very hard. But if you're a little better, it can even be therapeutic to focus on it. Try making something that takes a while, like pizza.

When you're getting even more better ('cause you will!) offering food to others is good for mental health for secret reasons. But if the thought exhausts you as you read this don't worry about this for now.

If you excercise, horde some protein snacks you can eat immediately.

Congratulate yourself for keeping up with this, and every time you've gone through the day with a good healthy diet. It is not easy.

Similarly to sleep, if you stray off course, know this is natural, change is hard, don't beat yourself up, but get back on track. I believe in you.

Exercise

Did someone say "extra fries"? Boomer minion memes aside, this is another really really good thing to do. Get this: You can literally force your body to create endorphins, even when you're mind is in the mud. It also helps with both appetite and sleep, and self-esteem. It also can help you find an outlet, and it helps focus yourself on the present. And it is such a concrete way of fighting an illness which feels so not-concrete. Some tips:

Make plans with people or find a workout buddy. The peer pressure is an excellent way to motivate yourself even if your mind makes bullshit excuses. It may feel intimidating to ask someone but I promise a lot of people want to get into working out but find it hard to motivate themselves too, so you really are also helping them at the same time too. Societies or groups are also good, as long as you go each time.

Think of working out as a fight against your depression. Because it is. Think of your depression being this big Dark Souls boss fight. (gif below for anyone not familiar.) You are struggling, but you are fighting against it, and you're a survivor, and you're badass af for keeping on fighting.

BTW above gif: that's you drinking some estus flask (water) before you tackle again the task of fighting your depression by working out because that is how badass you are.

Do the workout, no matter what your mind tells you.

The kind of workout that raises heart rate is really good.

Long walks are also REALLY good. I don't know what it is about them, but they are magical. You might find cats on the street or cool birds too.

Yoga is also good. The YouTube channel Yoga by Adriene is very good, she's so gentle.

Remember that after any kind of work out congratulate yourself and remember you are a fighter and you've just taken even more steps to battle against this thing, it's not easy and you've done it and you should be beyond proud.

That's it for this post but I will reblog this with more tips in the future so stay tuned folks. I will cover at least things like people, hobbies, therapy, values and goals and staying organized, but I'll add more if I think more.

I've struggled with this for a long time but I can and will make it towards being better and so will you.