#we dont care if its killing you because we cant see it. we can fully ignore your suffering because its not visible!

[masonsbf]

.

[aliceinborderlandsquidgame]

Bloody Letters | Banda Sunato x GN!Reader

Summary: Banda is in prision, you the only survivor of his killing are still being haunted by him in a simple way. Letters.

Warnings: Banda is a warning himself  - Toxic!Relationship - Traumatic!Reader - Obsessive!Banda - Mentions of Gore and Mutilation - Mentions of sex - Reader gets called Bird - MDNI - +18 -

 

The first one came after he was arrested. It was only one week and yet he seemed to be missing you.

"Hello my Bird, each day in here its a torture I cant endure without you. Do you remember that week when I could not go out because the police was near our home? We had such a great time. I dont remember a place where I did not fuck you nice and full. The house never smelled better, sex and blood...the memory of it makes me hard while I write this. Why dont you send me some of these pics I took during that time? It would help me so much.

With devotion, your Banda"

You had pucked after it, wishing that by ignoring him he would let you alone. But you knew better.

At court you were called to testify against him. And you did, the horrors you had survived were showed to you once more.  But you stood your ground. The most sickering thing was him. He looked proud of himslef after each relate of how he killed and dismemberment a victim was told, and when he looked at you. It was a look so confused, his eyes like an abyss of pure evil and possession.

You had to stay in your parents home after that day.

"My Dear Bird, you looked so stunning at court today. Are you eating well? I see you having lose some weight. But thats fine, we can work that up once im out of here.

I must say, I was quiet sad that you did not testify on my side. Didnt you say you loved me ? That we would be together till death ?

Maybe you forgot your place. Maybe your wings are growing again.

See you soon my bird"

"Bird.

Why are you not responding ? Do you know how hard its to get these letters out ?

Do you think you can go back to normal and escape me ? Im in your life now, I left part of me inside you multiple times. You cant just ignore that, or what ? Did you get a new partner? Bird no one would ever care for you like I did. We bathed together in the blood of that woman!! Do you remember ? You were crying so much and it was such a good thing to see..."

Each day you waited that they will stop coming. That whoever was allowing these letters out would have some compassion for you.

You could not sleep or eat. Each sound made you remember him and his tortures. The dark was once again your biggest fear, each shadow made you think it was him.

"My Dear Bird, sorry my last letters were too violent, I now see my mistake.

The therapist  here says I should learn to control my impulses, how would he react if I told him i already imagined him dead by my knife ? Do you think he would react at all ?

You know I havent see it in so long. I miss it. Remember who I used it to ambush you that night ? I accidentally cut you, that was a real accident. I did not get to enjoy the moment. All the other ones....oh I did. The moments we shared are engraved in my mind forever now. Much like how my name its on your skin.

You havent remove it have you? I put so much effort on it...it would be a shame if you removed it.

Well I guess i will have to do it again then. We can do it as a part of our reunion.

With care, Banda"

The wait for his sentence was long. One more time, you had to see him one more time and then he would be gone of your life forever.

"My Bird.

Can you believe we will be seeing each other again ? We will soon reunite!!

I hope you smile more this time. You know I always loved that smile of yours....

You can cry too. It did things to me when you cried.

Have I mention how I keep dreaming of you? Its a shame I cant shove my dick inside you like I used to. You made the most delicious noises, specially when you were not fully awake and then when you did notice what whats happening...

Im getting hard just by thinking of it..."

"For the crimes the accused Banda Sunato has commitmet he is sentenced to death penalty with no chance for a appeal" The judge said and you felt like the world was off from you. You fell on the court's chair your family and Friends crying and hugging you. The family of the dead victims crying too.

But him. He was not crying. He was smiling that sick smile of his. His eyes pointed at you like a predator seeing his prey. For the first time you held his gaze and you saw how he did a move to try and come to you but was soon stopped by some guards.

"My Little Bird...

You were so beautiful at court today as well. And with your family no less, I have wanted to meet them for sometime now. What does they think of our relationship? Does they like me ? Does your father aprove of me ? I hope your mom cocks just as well as you used to. I cant wait to sit all together and tell them all the fantastic times we had together.

Where should I start ? The first night? The first time I took you ? When you saw me murder another person ? Maybe when you cocked their flesh ?-"

"Stop stop" You said covering your ears as your father read the letter with more and more ferocity.

"I will kill him myself" He said almost throwing the letter when a part catched his eyes. He went pale as he read it.

"What is it?" Your mom asked as she hugged you.

"I- I dont think-"

"Please Dad...what is it?" You begged now

"Dear Bird, do you know they grant a final wish for these whos sentence is death ? Besides a meal we get one final wish. And my wish was to see you once more, just you and me alone in a room. I hope the  judge sees my love for you and gives me that final wish....I cant wait to smell you again-"

"No!!" Your mother screamed taking the letter from your father then throwing it. "He cant ask for it! I wont let them go, the judge wont- the judge wont aprove it" Your mother said between sobs.

But justice failed you and did grant Babda his final wish and even demanded that you must be present or pay a big amount of money.

The light blue room and too bright light was making your skin crawl back as you waited. You knew there were officers and your own parents behind the glass but that still did not ease your nerves.

Finally he came guided by another officer, he was chained, feet and hands. Once sat in front of you the guard made sure he could not move or reach you before leaving.

Banda smiled at you "Hello my Bird, did you get my letters ? You never wrote back" He asked a slight mocking tone on his side.

"I burned them. You are never going to hurt me again. You are dead Banda, after this you will be nothing" You said back trying to keep your voice steady and calm even if your fingers were thighten the edges of the chair.

This caused Banda' smile to slowly dissapear. His posture now tense, he was studying you. Like many times before.

"Do you really think this is the end? That I wont ever be part of you again? My Bird...we are mean to be together till the end. If its not by my hand then i can assure you. Fate will bring us together"

"You can go to hell Banda, and take that fate with you too. We are done" You got up giving him one last look before walking out of the room. Once outside you collapsed on your parents arms, the start of a panic attack coming.

"Its over Dear, its over"

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○

Shibuya was always packed with people and while you were not really feeling that much need to go out, you knew you needed to take your life back.

The lights changed and you started to cross, lost in the music from your phone you failed to notice something from the sky...

Next thing you knew you were in the middle of the city but...it was empy. No noise, no cars, nothing. Fear went over your body as you checked your phone. Dead, no signal.

What...was this another episode ?

"Well, seems like fate does wants us together my Bird" The voice who owned your nightmares spooke from behind.

You turned and there he was, his smile back and blood dripping from his hand where now a knife stood.

"Oh dont look at me like that...you know I cant contain myself if you do" Banda said twisting the knife with expertise "five minutes, thats your head start"

Your heart fell as your legs started to tremble but you could not move. This was not possible. How could he be here...and where were the people ?

"Run little Bird, becuase once I catch you. You wont be moving for a long time..."

And so you ran knowing he never said these things without meaning them.

[writingpuddle]

i wanna talk about this scene because its one of my favourite character moments for both aaron and neil. theyve just gotten to the cabin, only a handful of days after nathans death, and aaron gets neil alone and says this:

now listen. maybe what aaron is doing here is exactly what it looks like. maybe he is concerned that neil is exploiting andrew, and this is him being a protective brother. and i do think theres a part of him that is. he could also be reacting badly due to homophobia, and maybe a part of him is too. but mostly -

he's testing neil.

see, aarons not totally heartless. in that moment in baltimore, when neil was bloody and beaten to shit - aaron was horrified with the rest of them. he might not like neil particularly much, but when you see someone you moderately dislike tortured past the point of human endurance, youre going to put aside your dislike for a second. youre going to take their side, and aaron does. when the foxes claim neil, aaron is right up there with them.

but unlike neil and andrew, who spend the next few days in the emotional wringer with the feds, aaron had several days to process. to really process what allison pointed out to them.

and he realized he could use it.

maybe thats callous of him, but mostly its inevitable; this is how the twins have learned to communicate, to leverage each other with bribes and threats. he watched andrew nearly kill kevin, pick a fight with the feds, grip neils hoodie like he might disappear if he didnt hold on tight enough, and he understood that there was nothing andrew wouldnt do for neil.

meanwhile, neil is still coming off of weeks of telling himself, gritted teeth, its fine so long as andrew doesnt care about me, its fine so long as andrew doesnt care about me, its fine so long as andrew doesnt care about me...

hes barely begun to acknowledge the much less dangerous fact that he has feelings for andrew. less dangerous because if andrew doesnt care about him, then neils death wont hurt him, and neils feelings cant be hurt if hes the one that dies. but if andrew has feelings for him, then this whole time hes been risking that his death would break andrew - break the very person he most wants to protect.

so neil denies it. hes made the first wobbly step towards freedom, but he hasnt yet dealt with the moriyamas. he could still die at any moment. wrapping his head around his fathers death hasnt given him enough time to break those weeks of conditioning himself in the dark. andrew doesnt care about me. andrew cant care about me. neil will go to war for andrew but the idea that the converse is true is too dangerous to look at directly. to protect andrew, to protect himself, he denies it.

but when aaron asks neil if andrew will fight for him, he's not really asking. we can see it in the casual way he shrugs off neils denial. he doesnt care what neil says. he wants to see what neil does. he already knows - or has a pretty strong bet - what andrew will do. what he needs to know is if neil is serious.

listen, i am personally of the belief that if andrew released aaron from his deal for neils sake and then things went sour with neil, andrew would respect the broken deal anyway. but i dont think aaron sees that - he hasnt yet fully internalized that andrew does things out of his own brand of fairness, and not out of malice. so he needs to know; andrew will fight for this. will neil?

so he lobs a grenade at neil, a loaded accusation, and neil comes back swinging. and theres aarons answer. neil isnt exploiting andrew, hes not just playing around. hes as viciously protective of andrew as andrew is of him and those two repressed assholes might not be saying it with words, but aarons not stupid. andrew gave himself away when neil went missing and now neils showed his hand too.

neils right. he has been had, and hes just lucky that what aaron wants is exactly what neil wanted anyway.

[doctordiscocalling]

New Helluva Boss episode thoughts from a Certified Stolitz Hater!!!

SPOILERS BELOW !!!!

Yeah it was pretty good.

Ill probably watch some review and realize i have more problems with this episode than i noticed or realized, but for now i think it was just. Good. Not mid, but not excellent either.

Vassago (thats his name, right?? Idk how to spell it, oh well) is probably now OFFICIALLY my fav minor character. His design is bright and pleasant to look at, his VC was killing it, and i believe hes meant to be Brazilian? Which.. dude. I LOVE the representation of languages and implied races of characters like Valentino in the show, and it never feels forced. Props to the Helluva team for that one.

Now. Ignoring all of what Stolas has done to Blitzø already - eliminating the context of their relationship thus far… Stolas sacrificing himself is actually very sweet. He gives up his status, power, and protection to save the one he loves. Im not exactly thrilled that hes given up his daughter in favor of Blitzø AGAIN however. Give my girl a break, dude.

And how she was FULLY READY TO RUN OUT THE DOOR TO GO HELP HIM OR SEE HIM if it wasnt for Stella manipulating her - that just makes me even more mad. Stolas might SAY he cares about people like Octavia and Blitzø, but his actions just about never convey the same thing.

Now… WITH the context of Stolas’ continued mistakes, manipulation, selfishness, and pushy creepiness in his relationship with Blitzø throughout the series… fuck off, man. Actually leave me alone forever.

I felt like Stolas sacrificing himself for Blitzø is now erasing every awful thing hes done to him throughout the series. Its a trope i think ive observed before - “you treated me like shit before, and we had all kinda of hard problems that i shouldve moved on from, and become a better person without you around, but you saved my life!! Lets get married and pretend none of that ever happened because of a new toxic ‘romantic’ concept - a life debt!!!”

And dont get me wrong - life debts can be done VERY well. But you need a skilled enough writer who can easily enough cut through tropes to do it right. No offense, as the writing in this show is amazing, but the Helluva writers. Well. They cant exactly subvert expectations, especially when it comes to tropes.

However, im not going to judge and throw around Stolas for being depressed at the end of the episode. Hes lost the only life hes ever known, and cant see his daughter for Lucifer knows how long. Hes allowed to soak in the bathtub for a while.

BUT!! Seeing how gentle Blitzø was with Stolas at the end of the episode - helping him bathe off the rotten food, kissing his cheek when he falls asleep, just generally being so romantic and physically affectionate with him - it made my stomach churn. This ship can’t work UNLESS you ignore everything that’s happened before in the series, which is exactly where i think the Helluva writers are taking it, unfortunately.

Call me pessimistic, but i just really stopped liking the show as much when the OG concept was put on the back burner in favor of some genuinely toxic 2015 top and bottom stereotype ship. Like. If i showed you the first two episodes of this show, and then i told you the shit-fetish cheating owl bird and the shithead lovable scamp IMP boss very genuinely and seriously got together, you would be concerned at least.

Anyway, fuck Stolas, Blitzø should illegally adopt Octavia so her and Loona can be honorary sisters, and they blow the owl up and frolic through the daisies and get their happy ending and Millie and Moxxie get double married and everyone except most of the Goectia (idk how to spell that shit) get shot by Striker.

Have a lovely day, and thank you for reading this far :]

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

What are your opinions on each of the songs? (you can answer with as much or as little detail as you'd like)

Big shocker that the songs from the 2 good episodes are in S and the only one that isn’t is still B tier/sar

The first 2 songs in S made me either tear up/shake violently or cry, and therefore they deserve to be up there IMO. Out for love is also just genuinely catchy and had actual build up to it. Also God “Ready for This” just. OOUGGGHHH IT SCRATCHES MY BRAIN SO GOOD LIKE A WARRIOR CATS MAP. I like it a lot. You cant have multiple characters sing about working together and expect me to NOT cry.

“Stayed Gone” isn’t one I listen to often but it’s so peppy and fast and full of hatred I can’t help but enjoy it. Also everytime the song starts my brain does this

I dont know anything about Welcome Home

I have. Issues. With “Loser, Baby” but aside from those the song holds a lot more weight to it than I usually give it credit for. And for as cheesy as the start if it is, the line before of Angel talking about self destructing resonates with me a lot. Also Husk lays down in a puddle of vomit and no one talks about that ever.

I think the first song in B is “Happy Day in Hell” and I’m adding it there 1. Because it is the first song 2. It gets a reprise thing 3. Charlie almost gets hit by a truck. Other than that it’s not really my favourite but I respect the impact it has.

“Hell is Forever” just fucks. End of story. Alex Brightman killed it.

“Respectless” is good I love Velvette’s VA, but the sudden start of the song and the ending are so out of left field the first time me and my friends watched this show we had to pause cause we lost our fucking minds. Could’ve been better but I’d listen to it again, yeah.

“Hell’s Greatest Dad” is silly and funny and maybe I’m biased as a violin player and jazz enjoyer but a lot of the instrumental tickles my brain so nicely. I will say though it confuses me so much because why does Alastor care about being seen as a father figure?? My mom said it could just be him wanting to show up Lucifer and that’s it but I dunno.

“More than Anything (Reprise)��� AKA “Charlie and Veggie Kiss Scene - Hazbin Hotel”

This song sounds like it’s straight out of Barbie & Th Diamond Castle and I’m honestly pissed the girls in the movie didn’t kiss so I’m coping with this. ALSO THE FACT ITS A REPRISED SONG ABOUT LOVE MAKES ME A BIT CRAZY. I never noticed this was the same song Lucifer sang to Charlie SOMEHOW but that’s actually really cute.

“It Starts With Sorry” Has a big part in Sir Pentious’s character growth and just his character in general. I’ve been working on this in my Pentious rant but I never see people mention how much this song probably meant to him. Yeah it’s super corny, but he was fully expecting to be killed and had just been told to kill himself. This was definitely huge for him and I’m not gonna be convinced otherwise.

“You Didn’t Know” is really good but Lute’s part is by far the best and I pray to GOD she gets her own song in S2 her voice actor can SING. GODDAMN! I am very interested in Lute’s character development and I love seeing what people do with close-minded characters like that and hopefully Vivzie doesn’t condemn her to Vivziepop Woman Syndrome. If she isn’t important in S2 I’m going to be pissed but I dunno maybe S3 if we get one.

“More Than Anything” Wish my dad was like this! This song is incredibly sweet and I appreciate it a lot. Honestly might go way higher on the list if I keep thinking about it.

“Whatever It Takes” Sorry you will never be Imagine Dragons. Vaggie doesn’t sound anything like herself cause her VA is making her voice so much more gruff for her character, which is fine! I like her voice (the voice direction is not very good but I digress) it’s just her voice is so high in this I can’t even tell it’s Vaggie.

“Welcome to Heaven” is boring, but we got a Molly cameo!

“Poison”. Read this and this and this. -10/10. I’d rather make out violently with Elon Musk.

[arthurtaylorlester]

RETURN OF THE KING: MALEVOLENT LIVEBLOG EPISODE 37 THE FARM

spoilers (you already know)

back at it with some humming!

JOHN MY BELOVED !!!! youre so bitchy i love him

HES SO PETTY HELP

harpers hill mention omg (harpers hill hijinks coming soon)

“MY BOOK HMPH 😤” girl 😭😭

“i didnt realise” yes because you cant see and john is like really really dumb

it kills me that john is bitching about oscar not finding anything but like what information have you contributed in the last 3 episodes

ive missed bullying john

malevolent is a comedy and i will stand by that

mmm rain sounds

HYPNOS GREEK GOD MENTION ‼️

“can you imagine hahah” yes i can it was the best arc of the show send tweet

well you havent seen his face

whys john being so quiet all of a sudden?

OH WHAT THEFUCK I SAW RHIS COMING

“i suppose ill just watch again” SOMEONE IS A JEALOUS GIRL

arthur ignoring john….. the girls are going to DIVORCE

“not you sorry ^_^” and then he goes back to ignoring john?? girl

oh wait that was very sweet

WHAT THE FUCK I JUST TOOK ABDHDNFN

sorry arthur speaking to john like that just destroyed me

I TRUST YOU AND YOUR MY FRIEND??? IM NOT TRYING TO IGNORE YOU?? THEYRE COMMUNICATING A

“its not because i dont care 💛” “…yes?” oscar this isnt about you

poor guy though he must be so confused

arthurs tone changes so much when he speaks to john

someone get john a pair of glasses either that or he was too busy daydreaming to see the turnoff

oh of course john would want to split off because he hasnt ever seen a horror movie arthur if you die then it’s your fault for not showing him the movie 🙄

“we might have to sleep in the car” okayyyy

oh so now john wants to give him info because he deserves to know

aaaand now he doesnt want to tell him. we love a hypocritical king !!!

return of the canadian sourry

you dont need to sound so smug that he looks hurt john 😭😭

okay oscar love the existential crisis while reading very relatable

is he gonna say arthur is his purpose

oh for fucks sake

NOT THE SOFT “oscar”

ok oscar is def into arthur and arthur saying “i don’t believe in god” is like rejection. this is how unrequited blindfaith can still win.

also god believes in you? well john and kayne sure seem to believe in him for what its worth

oscar nooo dont devote yourself to arthur that never ends well

john i dont care about oscar either but you have got to stop laying it on so think jfc

john the undefeated more like john the opportunist

“woAH” same john same

oooh so john can see auras now basically?

what monster are we gonna find in the barn 👀

oh that sounds fun actually though /j

AWW I KNEW HE WAS GONNA ASK IF HE WAS OK

ok i love how prominent the dreamlands are this episode i was just thinking about how good it was

john just wants his alone time with arthur because he cant answer his questions

“i need another set of eyes” thats like the one thing john can do it must be kinda sad to like, not be able to fully do the one thing you used to be great at

“ *gasp* a forgotten one :0” john dont act like you know what that means

hey is john a forgotten one then. is he. is he though.

can everyone except arthur feel the weirdness of places

NOT THE MUSIC BOX MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND HARLAN WHEN ARE YOU GIVING US AN OST PLEASE IM BEGGIN YOU

ITS MIDNIGHT DONT GO IN THE FUCKING BASEMENT ITS RAINING YOURE BEING CHASED BY AN EDLRITCH THING

john its ok if you didnt see it you dont need to justify yourself ❤️‍🩹

john sounds almost scared to go in the basement lol

the stairs are gonna give out at a later date im calling it

what could possibly happen in the last 15 minutes

a door ajar omg is that a wtnv reference

did arthur almost die by getting crushed by a bunch of furniture

oh a barricade i know what this is about

oh happy halloween btw guys

OSCAR JUMPSCARE

my honest reaction too john

what… what did you just sink into….

oh hole in roof, cool

arthur pay attention oscar hes gonna set hjmself on fire on accident

the jarthur was too busy analysing the painting to pay attention to oscar

OH GODDAMIT ARTHRJ WHAT THE FUCK JOHN WHAT THE DAGGER? THE ONE HE SLIT HIS THROAT WITH

oh he wants to cut it off ok

jfc 7 minutes oh no

I CALLED THE STAIRS CAVING IN

GUYS HE WAS READING THE BOOK OFC HE KNOWS

question: how strong is arthur physically

“A TOWEL!” “A TOWEL?” as i said a comedy

WE GOT A “WELL DONE ORTHUR” LETS GO

you know its weird that i can handle this fine but couldnt deal with the michael torture in the woe.begone finale

NO ARTHUR ITS NOT OK

HES ISNT GOING TO MAKE IT

oh ok hes fine sort of ok

the music goes so hard again

that arthur was so scared

ok the arms alive run

or get john to arm wrestle it idk

“what thE fUCK WHAT THE FUCK” my daily vocabulary

and oscar was right :)

RUN YOU IDIOTS

arthur you could at least carry him instead of dragging him that poor poor man

i find it amusing that this mostly happened because of jarthur studying a painting and ignoring the man currently in possession of their braincells

indeed what do we do now

and thats a wrap! oh boy what an episode i have THOUGTHTS (oscar is not surviving this)

i know like maybe 2 people read this type of posts but i enjoy making and reading them back. so if youd like me to keep going with these i will :)

[sthormiiii]

What do you like and don’t like about Aaravos ?

omgomg ty for the question i love talking about my man!!!

(this came out wayy longer than i imagined whoops)

okok so.

the things i love about aaravos are many. starting from the obvious, his design!! he is so so pretty i love startouch elves designs in general (all the concept art in the art of the dragon prince made me lose my mind!!) and also the fact you can get a lot about him from his design, like how he changed after he fell and the way he lost many of his accessories which probably represented his status in startouch society- AND THE BLACK HOLE IN HIS CHEST PROBABLY REPRESENTING HIS HEART???? like, he LITERALLY LOST HIS HEART?????

thennn, we go on his personality! that man suffered for CENTURIES, he had to witness so Much Stuff. he got through so much trauma and lost everyone who he ever cared about. but does that bother him? i mean, yes ofc it does...but despise all of it, he still keeps up his silly personality! and manages to still be himself :33

the thing is, my interpretation of aaravos's character is probably very personal, and most of the things i think about him are from my own headcanons, but!!!! we know he is inspired from prometheus, giving humans magic despise the gods (other elves and dragons) didnt want them to have it. but he still did it. he helped them out when they were struggling, and because of it he got punished.

thats the thing!! he loved humans SO MUCH he couldn't help but help them, even if he knew it would get him in trouble.his love for humans, for magic, for xadia, its what keeps him going, he wants to be free and be able to see xadia again, to see the sky, and feel the grass under his feet! him pre-fall was just,, so so filled with love for everything around him

now.

clearly, he also did some really fucked up stuff (like swallowing killing adidi and probably also luna tenebris) he isn't completely good or completely bad. he's in between and everything he does he does it for a reason which he believes is the right one-

rn hes a psycho, he spent 300 years in isolation and he is full of anger and just wants to see the world burn😞😞 he lost everything and everyone and yes hes the villain rn,, but he still has all that love inside of him. his love for humans...for magic...his need to feel someone, anyone by his side, to know hes not alone- him trying to help viren in s5 (in his own fucked up way) shows that he still cares☹️☹️

so yeah, i just- love complex characters!

now, the things I don't like- this is a hard choice bc i honestly love all his flaws too?? but i would say i dont like how the show handles him lmao.

i could talk about this for hours, but to make it simple i think they are totally wasting his character here. like. we're never going to fully see aaravos in all his shades bc

1) we dont have time for all that

2) even if they somehow manage to give us a glimpse of all the pain and suffering he carries on his back,, i think its a bit too late to make the viewers completely emphasise with him

the whole mystery of aaravos arc should have taken a different direction imo. but desides that, i still love the show sm and i cant wait to see more!!

god i love talking about him.

[s0lar-ch3ri]

mythborning in the year of our lord 2024

do we think about how ryan and aster probably never fully accepted connor being dead. after the first day reset and shit i mean. theyd go to bed, silently hoping tomorrow theyd wake up and itd be like that day never happened, hell maybe they get set back again to the day of the big game. and they both just. they dont want to think of the idea that connors gone.

asters the one who trys to fight for him back. she makes up new reasons and such as to why hes not gone, ways they could possibly bring him back (it doesnt help that in this state she sounds so much like him about his brother). she looks through her dads artifact collections, seeing if any would make sense in any way to bring him back to life, losing care of its cost. she even tries to find his book or something of its nature, but finding that, if even possible, doesnt help because its a book made to kill not bring to life again. i dont imagine asters religious, not in the sense that she doesnt think gods are real (one is her mother), but that she never felt a pull to worship one. for the first time in her life, she tries to pray. she prays to her mother, reciting every word and performing every detail, squishing the tears from her eyes because god she cant let herself be seen so broken by this boy infront of a divine being and sure its the first time shes tried reaching out like this but she just needs one chance to talk to her. of course, whether or not it works and she sees her, she doesnt revive him. the day doesnt reset and he comes back to life. and somewhere inside her she knows this couldnt have worked, shes the daughter of a goddess and knows the balance of mortality and immortality. shes known he was gone the moment the rats attacked. thats why she fought so hard, because the small amounts of divine energy she held surely could beat what has been written by those above her just this once, just for him.

ryan doesnt let himself break. he has a floatball team to be on and an act to keep up and a friend who needs him. he doesnt have the ability to stop and let himself process how hed join in the bullying of "con-nerd" and how he gave ryan that hug before going to that gym and getting to see the vulnerable sides of connor when he talked about or even showed them (he probably showed him his friends) his brother. sure, he may know what its like to have lost family and connor was close in a way similar (might be a small shipper of those two. what of it. /lh they can be friends too ofc) and now hes gone and hell never get to hear him call ryan stupid when hes wearing his goofy grin or does something actually dumb. ryan, whos meant to be strong, let his friend get crushed by rats. and he wont break. he'll just tell gary to fuck off when hes caught tearing up after a floatball game because he had to look in the stands and know that connors not gonna be there selling hotdogs again. he can just put another lie in his act when hes looking in these history textbooks and say he wasnt thinking of olden magic usages and how they might be able to bring him back, closing his eyes so he doesnt gaze on them.

it takes ryan grabbing asters wrists and looking her dead in the eyes and telling her "i dont fucking like it, but connors gone. you know it. i know it. this is just gonna hurt you more. please. i cant lose one more person." it takes her looking in ryans eyes to see how theyre tired and dried out and his muscles seem to instinctively hold up a smile and how his grips just slightly too strong and yet he just is so tired and wants more then anything his best friend back. his breaths getting shakey and louder and he starts sniffling and she just grabs him down and they become sobbing messes of kids on the floor because god fucking damn it connors gone and nothings magically fixing this and nothing will be the same ever again.

it takes them a bit to figure out where his gravestone is. its empty. they should have honored him sooner, they know it, but they just wanted to hope that it wasnt just connors memory they had left living.

[catboygirljoker]

Genuinely curious; you got any headcanons for like random eccentricities/foibles for the Org13 or anyone else?

regrettably most of my headcanons tend to be on a broader characterization/thematic level, ideas about how characters relate to each other and the world and themselves. the droves and droves of hyperspecific headcanons i have about xigbar are primarily from turning him over in my hands so many times trying to figure out what the Fuck is going On with him. i dont really get deep into the weeds of little details until i feel i have a strong idea of who a character is as a person

i have got a random grab bag of headcanons here for ya, though i think theyre not exactly what you had in mind. i tried to avoid mentioning xigbar as much as possible because if i didn't it'd just turn into a xigpost.

in order from mostly a joke to more serious and thought out:

dark riku is a teenage reddit atheist type who disguises his discomfort with swearing by claiming that people only swear if their vocabularies arent big enough to come up with something smarter to say. vanitas is an undiagnosed untreated unsupported AuDHD problem child who swears every other word and plays with lighters and knives. they cant be left alone in a room with each other because they Will try to kill each other.

there have been way more organization members than we've seen, like, maybe there were originally 13 org members. axel just killed all the others so saix would rise in the ranks. the only people we see in the org either dont pose a threat or are taken out as soon as they do. everyone always asks "how is demyx in the org if he's so lazy?" when the answer is that he survived because he's lazy.

(xigbar is the one exception in that he's definitely a threat, but he's frustratingly difficult to blackmail or kill or otherwise neutralize. xaldin is a follower more than a leader and dedicated to his duties; lexaeus the same. vexen doesnt want power, hes just here for science, he just wants funding. demyx ive mentioned. luxord's just here to play poker. and well we see what happens to the rest.)

saix directly modeled himself after xemnas and is as devoted to him as axel is to saix. i feel like if you compare isa's hair in bbs to his hair in 2+, you can make the argument that saix has styled his hair to resemble xemnas's. in 3 we see him in full berserk mode standing obediently at xemnas's heel without budging an inch as he watches his best friend get hurt.

(worth noting that i imagine we are meant to understand that saix is just, like, a good employee, he wants power in the org so he works hard to attain it and is obedient in pursuit of that. i think there are even scenes were it seems like saix doesnt fully trust xemnas. but i like making it fucked up and dependent. sue me)

xemnas doesnt really feel like hes entirely there. you look into his eyes and its like hes looking a little past you. hes a shell of a shell of a shell, the nobody of a botched possession who had vague experiments done on him. all he seeks and all he cares about is kingdom hearts and he barely remembers why. the only time he's actually present or displays any concrete personality or will is when he's exerting that will over someone. contrast the spacey floatiness of any of his long-winded monologues with how suddenly laser-focused he is on destroying axel in 3.

i made a post where i reference the platonic threefold structure of the soul [boo hiss]—if xemnas is just the Head and Belly, divested from the chest, nothing but pure carnal hunger for kingdom hearts and the higher logical means of attaining it, ansem SoD is just the Chest, the irrational emotional yearning for kingdom hearts. thats why he has nothing to do with the org or xemnas, he's kind of a rogue element doing his own thing. since he's the inverse of xemnas, the two of them cant work together, the same way you couldnt play a chess game with a rabid dog

anyway thank you foibles anon ! i hope you like this post anyway even if im sure its not what you expected

[antiendovents]

heyyy its ussss! its r (or maybe Eva idk) (nope yeah its r) and I just wanted to say you're awesome!!! (EVA GET OUT) we think you are super cool,sorry, but evalynn wanted to say smth to ya.

hiiiiiiii I think you're so cool and um I'm back and feeling way better and anyway yea love you (platonically) you're so cool yeah 💕💖

well that was rather embarrassing. the love letter we were referencing was our second message to you, in which saturn got way too in detail about me.

we are not dating lol, I have a gf (well, me and Eva share her, I think Saturn is aroace and evalynn is a child so yeah) (and our other alters almost never front) (cept one but I do not want to introduce her to you because she sucks and I really hate her) (shes very abrasive and generally assholey, she yells a lot at r and the rest of us).

anyway uhhhhh yeah I have like a quick question. can an alter have a backstory that's basically me but kinda tweaked? so evalynns backstory is basically mine (I'm the host), except I have a lot of trauma from COVID so for her COVID never happened. shes like forever in third grade, before COVID started and um kinda like a fictive but from real life. she also hates reminders of COVID so I'm gonna make sure she does not read the rest of this message cuz her mental health is already sorta iffy!!!

OH I NEED TO WARN YOU BOUT SMTH. my parents raised me z!onist and I'm not anymore cuz like... a lot of very obvious reasons, but evalynn does not have the skills to process this, so she generally does not talk about any of this. I've been doing my very best to make sure she doesn't know anything, so she may be a bit oblivious. we were never the sort of z!onist who wanted to like, kill everyone (tho I know some of those) we actually thought that the west bank and gaza should be allowed to be its own country even when we were younger, but she is still very connected to israel (we are Israeli, but again, stand for Palestine) so ummm please ignore her lol anyway bye lol (insert nervous laughter)

PLEASE DONT HATE US

-🌌🌠

hi again you two!! Thank you so much! You seem cool too (all of you) :D

And hi Evalynn! You're awesome and I'm glad you're feeling better now! Love you too (platonically ofc!) and I hope you have a great day(or night depending on where you are in the world!)

Also I didn't even notice that lol! When I go back now yeah that kind of was a love letter lol! but I guess a platonic love letter since you have a girlfriend and they're aroace?? Either way it's kind of cute (like in the way where you see best friends or siblings give eachother gifts or care about eachother a lot and you just go "awh")

And don't worry about that, we kind of get that! We'd probably introduce ourselves too if we didn't switch so much, infact we still need to work on introductions on our personal blog, we just don't know who to do cause they either stop fronting for a long time or cant be bothered to do it (and also we have a few alters like that, so we get why you might not want to introduce her to us, but either way you should know she's welcome here even if she is a bit "assholey")

And yeah, it is possible for alters to have similar but different "backstories" or whatever one would want to call it! I'd assume it would be that your brain just witholds memories of COVID from her due to it being too traumatic or stressful for her to handle, which might explain why she only seems to remember what happened before COVID and why she doesn't like reminders of it? (I don't know, I'm making assumptions based on how our system works a little, but our point is yeah it's entirely possible!)

And that's fine, we don't hate you for that. You cannot control how you were raised or what your parents believe in or even where you were born, you've changed and recognised that the belief is harmful and that's good enough, that's literally all you can do. It's understandable that some alters may not be able to fully process it, sometimes these things can be incredibly complicated and trying to change what you grew up with is hard, we're proud of you for doing it anyways, even if not all of you understand it perfectly

[herboretum]

TAHST TWEET WAS FUCKCING RIGHT IM GONNA KILL MSYSLF I SWERA TO ALL THAT IS GOOD IN THIS WORLD I CANNSOT WITH THIS GAME IM LSOING MY MIND

YORUE FUCKING TELLING ME THAT THEGAME IVE BEEN PLAYING FOR OVER A YEAR HAD THESE FUCKINGE ASTER EGGS IN AND IM JUST NOW FINDINGS OUT?!?! TDO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW ACTUALLY REVOLUTIONARY THIS IS FOR ME?

GOOD FUCKING GODDDDDD UGHHH i eman its not Like any new information really BUT THIS IS HUGE FOR ME OK. all of orby's thoughts from before and after the existence of player. They Clarify on why they disappear when you exist the store witht hem. Im Killing mys

calling cashier interesting too GODD ive always interpreted his and orby's dynamic as somewhat indifferent. like they dont really care about each other all that much but shit; this changes some things. Orby not wanting to intentionally overload him and actually giving a fuck about his wellbeing (although tbf i dont thinj the same can be said for snackcore but whatever these two games arent meant to be related anyways)

and just UGHHHDWAAWW. their last and second to last note. calling out to kyu before breaking down. god. you cannot YOU CANNOT with me man.

its the fact that their notes didnt even work. that the only reason why kyu ever joined was because of the sheer corruption the state of the game was in at this this time. the notes (the 5 initial ones) didnt do shit for this world other than to save cashier and thats only IF we paid or chose to give them attention

and its not just that either. by the time we the audiences view these extra notes we arent the player anymore. we are watching cashier and dummy view these notes for themselves. its not us but them that get to understand why the random orb in the store was there, why all of this is happening. these are the answers for US, but we as a player will never get to know in the story because we are gone

worst fucking part is that these two bitches dont even GET IT!!!! they didnt see the five other, arguably more important notes that WE did during the gameplay. i mean if anything this would probably and most likely provide them some form of clarity, but its not a lot. like if kyu had to explain what was happening to their world at the very end, then yeah i doubt these notes ever did anything. probably made their existence all the more confusing in hindsight

its. whatever!!!!!!! i need to like do a little bit more of a deep dive later since i cant fully articulate my thoughts at this moment (and like lowkey This short analysis was fucking ass it just kinda devolved from my excitement)but GOD. i fucking love this game man

[coveredinredpaint]

hi! my name is rex too and i think thats pretty cool

anyway, i was wondering if you had any tips on dressing feminine but like,,,, also being able to pass? or tips on being confident enough to not need to pass?

heyy that is pretty cool!!

im gonna be honest with you, i never really managed to pass before starting t. there were like 5 times ppl gendered me correctly but after that they immediatly "corrected" themselves. the only person who didnt was a toddler, i hope hes doing great.

all the tips and tricks ppl gave out never worked for me, never managed to figure out why, im thinking it was mostly my voice.

so i got absolutely no passing advice for you, but i can definitely tell you how to work on your confidence and say fuck you to societies ridiculous expectations

(it turned out longer than i distracted, i cant give concrete advice apparently my apologies)

tw: mention of bullying and some mental health stuff but nothing heavy

before i start i will say that it takes time. it takes time to learn and let go of this need to fit in. to learn to do your own thing even if you have to do it alone. to grow and learn who you want to be or are.

first we need to understand that expectations of how we should act or dress or look, whether based on our gender or not, are absolute bullshit. like straight up made up.

step one is kill the cop in your head. every time you judge yourself (or someone else) for something, ask why you care about that. most of the time its cause you have been taught in some way that what youre doing is not according to "the rules". this can be for the smallest things, like when i get really excited and stim about something i used to feel embarassed because "men dont act like that". sometimes i still feel that way. its not something you can just get rid of, so its important to actively affirm yourself that what youre doing is okay and that you are allowed to do what makes you happy.

dealing with yourself is already a hell of a challenge, but other people, that something else. i hope you live in an accepting area and i have heard many stories of people are queer fully accepted for it. but often thats sadly not yet the case. surely isnt for me at my school. there are people who are gonna make you feel like shit, who are gonna call you all the horrible things the voice in your brain calls you too. you are gonna wish you were "normal" sometimes, even if you dont really mean it.

going back to normal? going back in the closet? letting go of the clothes that make my feel better even on the most dysphoric days? fuck no, i finally started to get myself, my life back, im not sacrificing that for some teens whos names i dont even know. so you turn it around, no longer "why do they treat me like that" but "how dare they treat me like that" if they kick you while youre down you better bite their ankles and dont let go. most people who bully people who are "other" are terrified of what they see in us. we are living proof that their belief of how the world should work is very wrong. they call you a fag and a tranny? you better come to school next day in the gayest clothes you own. they call you an emo and bark at you? you better be dressed even more punk the next day. they may laugh at you, yell at you, even record you or push you around. it doesnt matter, they hold no power over who you are.

but please do not try and carry this alone. dont let yourself turn bitter. its is difficult to be treated like shit for simply existing. even when it doesnt hurt as much as it did its still exhausting. find someone to talk to, whether its a family member you trust, a friend, a mental health professional or other queer people online. its important not to suppress your feelings. get them out, by either talking about them or writing or making art or music.

know that its your life and you can live it however the hell you want. be kind to yourseld, be kind to others. if you are not where you want to be to right now you will in the future. cant really call it a life if you didnt live for it. it will get better, you just got to keep going and keep fighting.

[cinnachaos]

ok so morgan lore (sorry this is so long , ive had lore cooking for these guys for a while and i never really fully finished it but here it is) (aslo i typed this all out half asleep i kight edit it later but maybe not idk)

warning for death and schtuff below

he lives on an apocalypse-ish planet where there are frequent lockdowns because of the inner monster stuff (refer to that other infodumping post) and unfortunately beth and jerry both got stuck in monster rampaging form and had to be exterminated/couldnt be found or anchored back into human form (they dont currently have a cure but later on with rick and morgan home they make one)

summer has a missing arm from a fucky wucky with a monster so she uses a robotic arm , she also has a shorter cut thats a bit fluffier and she doesnt wear a ponytail

rick has to leave the universe because he had a Monster Momento and fucked with a group of ricks so he wanted to make sure his morty and summer werent brought into it (his original family is all gone, it took him a LOT of tries to find morgan and summer so he cares a shit ton abt them)

morgan goes oh shit what the hell and takes a portal gun his rick stole and tries to find him but miami morty/mimi sees him thinking hes a rogue morty and goes can we keep him pretty please rick and even after he says no shoots a morty manipulator chip at him and drags him home like a wet cat

they go on adventures together, morgan usually wearing headphones and using weapons based off of games he likes because he doesnt like killing things so he does that to make it less AAAAGH for him (ill send my five thousand headcanons for the miamis and canon stuff about the monsters later)

one time he has a Moment with his monster form because unlike rick who at this point has most control over it bc hes coped with his trauma fairly well after mimi and rick get hurt and they have to heal him since his monster form usually damages him a lot (mainly through bruising, and if he uses his spikes or blades, bleeding)

they have a lot of fun unnttiiilll monster rick/his original rick comes to take him home and mistakes them for kidnappers even though theyve been taking good care of him so they both get into a fight and monster rick decides to take him home and keep him in the morty mind blower area of their house until he remembers which causes a huge freakout on morgans behalf

the miamis and monsters (summer and rick) go find him but go oh fuck its those guys and fight and then morgan has to go like guys what the fuck i like both of you and consider both of you family can you STOP FIGHTING so they go oh uh ok and now they have to share custody of morgan /lhj

also yeah monster care/research was prioritized in earth mv87 12 (theres more but i forgor) and it eventually calms down from a mass epidemic to just mildly dangerous

heres an old doodle of them since u got to the wnd of the infodump 🎉🎉🎉 (idk when ill draw sumker maybe later, just probably wont be soon cus im not hyperfixated on r&m anymore even if i still like it😭)

actually fuckit im putting my headcanons n shit here

ok so mv87/monster things

★ morgan wears headphones while on adventures to avoid hearing loud noises like gunshots, usually listens to splatoon music on loop

★ morgan has a habit of doing splatoon win animations sometimes when he successfully finishes an adventure

★ morgan was originally caught by mimi with pocket mortys stuff, he considers both the miamis and monsters his family, also very close to chaos rick and morty (another friends rick and morty) (hyperions-world chars!!!)

★ morgan is very close to his ricks but kind of scared of other ricks, he knows they can be really mean and devalue their mortys and him being really sensitive/fragile he cant handle that

★ morgan iscomfortable with miami mortys (/p!!!) kisses on the head to him and loves physical affection from any of his family members/close friends even if hes like eeeeeeeeehhhh from other people

★ morgan has a bad habit of getting extremely attached to ricks very quickly and is like a nice rick magnet 😭 hes befriended multiple ricks in the citadel like cop rick and enthusiastically waves at them anytime he sees them

★ morgan sometimes sways back and forth like an inkling/octoling idol position and has a few weapons a rick made him based off of splatoon/pokemon that he uses CONSTANTLY and will never go more than 5 feet away from him at all times

★ morgan can and will pull all of his family members into his hyperfixes/sp/ins. he will. hes done it with splatoon and pokemon . he will drag you in eventually/j

★ monster rick is really stoic/apathetic looking but really deeply cares for his family and he doesnt apply to the typical rick "idgaf about u haha fuck u u little pussyfart morty" /LHJ he tries his best to be a good grandpa and guardian even with his traumas and inner monster dealio

★ monster rick is always partially in monster form cus he thinks it looks cool, he also has a tooth gap between his front teeth

★ the mv87s do not know what sleep is. they constantly have eye bags except for sometimes summer because shes the most early bird of them all and she is very responsible

★ morgan is trans , i am heavily debating on making summer trans too. maybe. m a y b e.

miami headcanons

★ miami rick spoils the shit out of miami morty even though he wont admit it to anyone and if morty brings it up rick lectures him on the way home/lhj

★ MIMI FUCKING LOVES MONSTER HIFH AND YOU WONT BE ABLE TO PRY THAT HEADCANON OUT OF MY COLD DEAD HANDS

★ miami rick goes by he/she with close friends/family but he/him or he/they w anyone else

★ miami morty isnt as smart as rick but just about as powerful when it comes to strength and fighting smarts? not counting weapons and stuff

★ miami morty acts like an absolute angel around rick for the most part but is menacing as hell to people behind his back LMAO. oh and hes an absolute girlboss, a diva who could and would throw you out a window like an empty soda bottle

★ miami rick is very protective of morty in the way that if anyone makes him feel uncomfortable because of his outfit or if anyone hits on him or just any creepy things in general rick will hate crime them

★ miami morty likes to jokingly flirt but sometimes will accidentally do it with other mortys and go oh wait thats me oops. well its still funny

★ miami morty also has a habit of platonically kissing his friends on the cheek/head like you would a pet or something and then has to awkwardly explain its not romantic 😭😭 (some fanart relating to pcoket mortys gave me this idea actually)

★ miami rick lets morty paint his nails sometimes, begrudgingly but it makes morty really happy so he acts like he hates it to keep up appearances but likes seeing morty happy

★ MIAMI MORTY USES HIS LOLLIPOP AS A SORT OF ORAL STIM, morgan would probably get him something that wouldnt murder his teeth to have in his mouth n stim with

★ mimi he/any moment

AGH. OK. FINALLY DONE. there. this is all like months old please excuse that i mostly am involved in like sploon and pokemon since theyre sp/ins not just hyperfixes lol

[winderlylandchime]

And we are officially at 3x12: ‘come on Brian, don’t act like you don’t care about the backroom being closed. You said it yourself: you love public fucking’ ‘Damn, maybe Michael is actually gonna be cool if Hunter sticks around. I can’t believe they are actually keeping him like a stray cat. *looks at me all fake seriously* this is a good time to tell you, mom and dad also found you outside like that.’ ‘Im gonna need them to leave Emmett alone! Everyone leave him the fuck alone! I feel so bad for him- mel can you stop acting like Emmett is on a trial?’ HUNTER IS ABOUT TO MEET BRIAN!!!! ‘HE DOES EXIST BITCH! BRIAN FUCKING KINNEY! What did I say?! Everyone has a crush on Brian! Okay, i like Hunter now.’ ‘TED YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! I feel so horrible for you but i am willing to put my feelings aside to rip your head off! Emmett deserves happiness not this shit’ ‘damn Ben can’t catch a break. His man AND his stray kid both being obsessed with Brian. No wonder he’s boring. SHIT HE KNOWS THE DEAD KID! OF COURSE A FUCKING COP DID IT. Why am i acting surprised? Carl, i had some faith in you, please dont fuck this up fully’ and now the infamous Deb at Brians party scene ‘DEBBIE IS BACK AT BRIANS! COME ON BEST FRIENDS! *pauses tv and looks at me* is this what I look like to you when I’m watching this show? Wait. Is this what i looked like when i asked (our uncles name) how gay sex works? Oh my god, I am Debbie at a gay orgy! Wait, is she expecting Brian to save the day with this cop killer thing? So the theme of the show is: blame Brian, use him for help and money and be mean to brian, got it’ ‘he told Justin about the dead kid picking up a cop? Yeah Brian is officially caring about it because no way is he gonna ignore just- oh Teddy, this is heartbreaking. Emmett baby, you’re above this. I get it but fucking hell you deserve better. Who the fuck does Mel think she is to just call Emmett that?! OH SHIT EMMETT CALLED HER A CUNT! GOOD FOR HIM! Thank you emmett. I know it’s bad to be happy about this but she is very rude sometimes. Im still angry for how she treated Brian about that life insurance or whatever.’ BRIAN AND HUNTER SCENE IS UP!!! ‘Hunter go hom- peanut car! BRIAN! Now this duo is something i can fuck with. So hunter and Brian. Or Jen and Brian. Or Daphne and Brian..so basically everyone except Mike.’ And the bar scene is up ‘this is the most depressing bar ever no wonder its a cop bar- are they trying to find the cop- HEY HE HAS A BOYFRIEND! SO HANDS OFF!(hunter offers to pay Brian) everyone is willing to pay him. Hunter. Justin. At this point, give me 4 more days and I’ll pay him too. BRIAN BE CAREFUL WITH THE COP, why are you asking so many questions? Who do you think you are? Oprah? He has no business looking this pretty while horribly interrogating a murderer.‘ And now the sad Ted and Emmett scene is up ‘NO TED! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS GOING ON WITH HIM? EMMETT GET OUT. LEAVE. DONT LET HIM DRAG YOU DOWN TOO. EMMETT HE NOT ONLY WANTS TO DO DRUGS HES ALSO TELLING YOU HE CHEATED! Emmett nooooooooo’ and the best part of the ep is up: Britin hustler scene!!! ‘Oh damn Blondie, look at you looking fine as fuck! Absolutely no dying young will be happening on my watch Brian! *waves his hand towards Justin* yeah, whatever he just said. Too big words for me right now. Do they have matching jackets or is he wearing Brians clothes? Brian really cant escape teenagers who have a crush on him. *said at the same time as justin* EXCUSE ME? He’s the boyfriend! See hunter, the reason Brian laughed is because Justin has owned his ass for the past 3 years! Blondie…you’re 19. And you were a stalker stealing credit cards at 17. That is considered an annoying teen’ ‘NOO HUNTER DON’T GO WITH HIM! FUCKING HELL THIS SHIT BETTER NOT GET HIM KILLED. I actually got attached to the little fucker’ And to end this on a good note, he went out to call his friend to tell him about the episodes and a cat scared the shit out of him and now he’s afraid to leave the house. At 36. I have a 5 year old child that I’m babysitting, who has a crush on Gale.

I’m snorting about him telling you your parents found you like that. That’s some peak sibling behavior.

He likes Hunter because of his crush on Brian? So relatable. I’m so excited he’s at this part.

So the theme of the show is: blame Brian, use him for help and money, and be mean to Brian. What’s that meme that’s like “you did it, you broke qaf down to its bare essentials? That’s this.

Emmett is so lovely during this arc, and so relatable. I agree with your brother about everything.

Do they have matching jackets or is he wearing Brian’s clothes? I die! Brian really can’t escape teenagers who have a crush on him. YUP. I love Justin’s complaining about teenagers. That is such an iconic and hilarious scene.

You are doing such a good job babysitting. And he does have a crush on Gale. He’s going to find out that Gale is straight and wow, I want to know his reaction.

Thank you for these summaries! I love them!

[dream-this-nightmare-over]

Shaun Evans imagine

You can find more of my imagines in my book Imagines on wattpad.

He was down there throwing lavish party in my garden for people who hated my name, pearl skin and necklines in sunlight, raybans, loud music and world i dont belong in he brough them here and didnt even ask me if i am okay with it

He should have known from absence of my smile but he never took time to learn tides of my heart

While i was watchng it all from upstairs window

Curtains flowing between us

Each on one side coming in style banners of silk baby come get your crown when you  call me yours don't you know i would do anything to see you satisfied

You are in blue it suits you so well

You dont anymore wait for ride

You made yourself known that you are one of knights here to stay

We are hiding so they dont catch a glimpse

It irks you to see me anything but happy

Smiling in sunlight

It's casual intimacy that we find in every place just one glance and presence is enough

Ed comes stands between us facing the scene

We stand on sides in curtains

Ed knows by now where my heart lies so he isnt surprised to see you here

You are part of family by now

One of meadow royals

He has very important audition for couple of days and he cant put up with licentious youth. Our meadow is not used to souless debauchery

We are coming up with ideas how to put a stop to all of it

He comes in with someone on his arm but still calls me babe after i tell him there is no more chmpaign

You just stand there all ready to be smart and throw snarky remark but you don't because you are lost trying to come up with world in which i deserve to be treated like this

And i see it takes everything in you not to show how much you care but you wont give away our fairytale in hiding

And i imagine myself dying down on pebbles on driveway in midst of party and him crying, his tears on my lips because underneath all the recklessness he cared otherwise he wouldnt start this charade

But them i reprimand myself for thinking that way and wonder if i romanticize something violent only because i have another pair of hands to fall into if i think of death because i can still sell my youth

Should i leave you in memories before you grow bitter and time makes you disappoint me

and

go with sunlight boys into sunrise of masquerade balls and modernity that will make us hate each other even if we cant speak from love we hold for one another

or

shall i come home to peace you built and step out from behind curtains, free as bird on breeze, unafraid because you are there

and

leave the golden boy to someone else even if it will break his heart that loved me in its own recklessly restless way?

You are apparition transparent mirage of my heavy heart, ethereal promise of days passing but love stays the same as curtains fly on breeze You are mirage on sunny day there but not really there mine but never fully mine because words are too heavy they will sink us before we find courage to reach for the other side You are not him You are more sophisticated you don't throw blame like a bait for end you don't have balls to spell out

In between curtains you are ghost that will disappear if I reach out like particles of dreams I dream translucent stardust I can't keep nor make mine

I am stuck in cage i confined myself to for i hold the key to my freedom fears mean it's worth it i know every lock combination but my mind is lost in daydreams comfortable is killing potential the trill the need to leave please save me from myself give me some of your valour i want to be knight too i know i can be i just need someone to recognize my skill i dont want to live behind curtains with shadows forever i am human i am alive i wasnt born to hide and live out someone's else idea of who i should become 

I feel hand finding mine

And I can breath

Everything will be alright if you never stop believing impossible is possible just beyond the curtain of self imposed fears and doubts.

Tear down that curtain and step into the garden that's growing from your brilliance.

[necrocrunk]

thats it i AM going to post this draft:

can i be honest. the “americans dont give a shit about (insert whatever thing) until it affects them” is so stupid and specifically treats americans like we just dont have any problems and also hate everyone else. the individualistic vocal minority who are fucking batshit are disliked by Most People. they just are so aggressively disliked that algorithms prioritize showing their content for clicks and views. like,. you realize we also have problems

the wildfires are happening and people are worried about their lung health esp in a country where covid was genuinely not handled well and left people with lasting lung issues. the fact is we literally DO NOT KNOW these things are happening in most cases! but this is one that directly affects us so of course we’re speaking about it! why are you acting like it’s genuinely a move of weird nationalism that we “didnt care about the wildfires till now”??

additionally, the way that non-americans joke about america in making fun of things that americans have no grasp, bearing, or ability to change is so fucking infuriating. do you think we all like the lack of gun control? that protesting isn’t genuinely a risk of your life, being charged with a felony or considered a terrorist (and having a felony means you cant vote AND some jobs can deny you employment, meaning you cant support yourself or family or make any meaningful votes against the people who put those laws in place). the creators of the BLM movement were all found dead by things like fires in their cars and ruled suicides. you dont think it’s real odd that that shit happens and nothing is done? protesting is something people ARE doing right now and are brave enough to do, but even in the last few months protesters have been killed. it is necessary to protest but it has very very real danger behind it. its not a silly thing we do

americans do have a habit of being american based, and thats understandable! because its almost like the media in every country is focused on their country and what is happening within it. our country is huge, bigger than so so many, and there is a Lot going on. a lot to keep up with. additionally, just because you didn’t see some fucking guilt trippy post about it on tumblr or twitter yet does NOT mean people arent talking about it. trying going outside.

additionally, the way that people SPECIFICALLY seem to rag on things from the south and tear down the south, when the south has an incredibly high population of minorities that define anything from culture to the food common here? remember that british mf making of exclusively southern foods? that the shit im talking about. it’s this weird... xenophobia that especially europeans seem to level at americans as if we are too stupid and fat to function.

i understand that america sucks and america is terrible to other countries and i fully support tearing down the war crimes,etc america has committed for ex and overall complaining about your experience w americans. but throwing punches at the american people who literally have NO CHOICE but to just BE here (its VERY EXPENSIVE to emigrate !) is literally punching down. none of us like living in the middle of late stage capitalism man. it sucks. what do you win for making fun of us.