writingpuddle

[writingpuddle]

that's... not how it works. you can't guarantee that your work definitely won't squick anyone. what do you think you're saying?

[writingpuddle]

Green eyes shouldn’t actually be considered an eye color. It’s just not common enough, it’s a VERY SMALL percentage of the population, 1-2%. Green eyes are also caused by an irregular mutation. Most people have blue or brown eyes, so those are the two eye colors.

All the “green eyes” positivity is actually a bad thing, by the way. Having green eyes is linked to higher rates of retinal melanoma. You’re celebrating something dangerous that can cause suffering.

And besides, most people with “green eyes” lean closer to blue or brown anyways. They should just make up their minds and be brown eyed or green eyed. And if it’s too hard to tell, they should get corrective surgery (because green eyes are dangerous, and associated with more difficult medical care!) or at the least wear contacts so they don’t confuse people. But also they should be required to

I hate to sound like this, but green eyes are a far more recent development than blue eyes in the mutagenic history of humans. So humans weren’t created to have green eyes.

And hazel eyes? Those are just a variant of brown eyes—come on, they’re far closer to brown than green. They just have a couple greenish traits. And there’s no way there’s that many green eyed people, or a wide variety of eye colors… It’s just not natural.

I don’t have a problem with green eyed people, they didn’t ask to be born that way—but there’s just too few of them for it to be an actual eye color. We don’t need all this “green eye positivity” or putting green eyes in media. The internet is making people delude themselves into thinking it’s more common than it really is.

‼️ THIS POST IS ABOUT THE TREATMENT OF INTERSEX PEOPLE ‼️

✅ I HAVE GREEN EYES THIS IS SATIRE ✅

⚠️ PLEASE DON’T SEND ME ANY MORE THREATS OF VIOLENCE IN DEFENSE OF PEOPLE WITH GREEN EYES?? ⚠️

💧 THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT EYE COLOR?? IT’S ABOUT INTERSEXISM AND BIGOTRY 💧

[writingpuddle]

Lies I have told children ages 7-9

I am five billion years old

My name is Snuffalufagus Bartholomew Von Maximus the Third

I'm in Kindergarten because after college they make you start again all the way back in the beginning.

[writingpuddle]

Okay but when i think of the wesninskis all i can think is that yeah the family is mostly criminals with a few exceptions, but theyre normal criminals, weird uncle constantly stealing beer kinda criminals, the wildest thing that happens with them is like stealing a car or breaking into someones house and the owner wasnt on holiday so it turns into a fight, maybe one or two mostly accidentally murders,,,and then serial killer george nathan turns up to the family reunion-

It’s Christmas. The Wesninski family have reunited. They’re sharing stories by the fire, comparing their year with each other.

“I stole 27 cars this year,” Uncle Frank says proudly.

“I’ve been committing tax fraud for YEARS!” Laughs aunt DeeDee.

“Have you guys tried credit card scams? I’ve made thousands!” Boasts cousin Michael.

“I broke into a whole neighbourhood.” MeeMaw has been doing this longer than all of them.

“What about you, Uncle Nathan?” Asks little cousin Jimmy.

Uncle Nathan:

[writingpuddle]

In sync

[writingpuddle]

I mean yeah we all know that Neil is a good liar and all, but I think sometimes we forget to what extent.

Like he got literally plucked from class one day and put in front of his father’s boss, totally unprepared, and put on an oscar-winning performance of a lifetime. Bitch was like “I am not saying your brother is out of line my lord 😔😔😔 I am afraid of what will fall back on you 🤔🫢 🤧” and fucking manage to convince ichirou to kill his own brother.

What a man…

[writingpuddle]

2018 -> 2024

my Queen got an upgrade

[writingpuddle]

linking arms with my fellow beloved transes who like nonconsensual and/or monstrous transformation story tropes because it allows you a fantasy where you get to change your body without being made to feel at fault for it

[writingpuddle]

if you ever catch yourself implying that the patriarchy encourages transmasculinity in any way, you not only fundamentally misunderstand transphobia but also apparently have selective memory when it comes to basic aspects of misogyny

[writingpuddle]

Ice Cream and Kisses 🍨

[writingpuddle]

bingo

[writingpuddle]

[writingpuddle]

the weird radfem insistence that women do not have fetishes and kinks is kind of hilarious when you examine it. it has the same absurdity as “women do not poop” but the undercurrent of old school extremely scary misogyny seen in rhetoric like “women are inherently sexless creatures and do not enjoy or need it”

[writingpuddle]

it is actually an example of very feminist writing to make your female characters soft and nice all the time. if you write them as mean it means you hate women because women are not mean or complex ever in real life because everyone knows complexity is for silly boys

[writingpuddle]

"Old friend" is a gayass thing to call someone

[writingpuddle]

“denied the catharsis of punishment” is an underappreciated but hugely effective narrative consequence imo 

[writingpuddle]

oh neil josten you really are something else