#we can't have a disorder in peace

[seasidewanderers]

@wondercourse you're so right for this. I think it's just. attacking an "acceptable" target.

everyone is angry at everybody else, there's no system community to speak of, not even in the strictest "only the systems that I deem acceptable" because everyone becomes a target as soon as they're "cringe" or whatever. and. I'm exhausted honestly

I wish everyone in syscourse a nice go do something that isn't frying your brain. play a game or read a book or take a niiiiiiice breath and think like 500 times before posting anything in this godforsaken tag.

[littlegoldfinchh]

Sorry it was rough earlier with the dad person. And it sucks it is either bad vibes or loneliness, you deserve better. I hope things get better somehow.

Just noticed this ask I'm sorry! It got a little bit buried between gaza fundraisers (i've already posted them don't worry) so i was just cleaning my ask box when i noticed this

It can be rough with my parents sometimes, they love me but god they need to divorce for everyone's sake. But it will get better eventually because i will move in with my boyfriend in two years and djjesn just gotta hold on until then

[intersex-support]

Help an intersex family in Gaza!

Hi everyone. I'd like to share about a fundraiser that is very important to me. A good friend of mine is in contact with the organizers.

(Described in alt).

Their story:

"Hello, my name is Abeer. I'm organizing this fundraising campaign from Belgium on behalf of my family, who currently live in Gaza. 

Since October 7, all families in Gaza have been subjected to genocide. My family is one of those families that has had to flee its own home several times because of the threat of regular attacks. 

After two months, my family decided to return home and take the risk of being bombed at any moment rather than stay in the street. Our 4-floor building now contains over 100 people who have fled from different parts of Gaza. We always open our hearts for our own people, but we can't do it without your help and support. 

My parents, Kamal (53) and Moukaram (51), are suffering from the war because of their age and health. My brother Suliman, his wife Rawan Abualnaja and their two-year-old daughter Bisan are trying to stay strong, but it's complicated by their little daughter's enormous needs. My other siblings who are not married are Mohammed 25, Inas 22, Ibrahim 17, Abdallah 15.

My family medical condition during the war:

My father suffers from delusional disorders. He can't work or help my family financially. Mohammed and Ibrahim suffer from a chronic disease, congenital adrenal hyperplasia. It is difficult for them to obtain medication in Gaza. One of their medicines has not been available in Gaza for two years. During the war, they couldn't get their medicines because they simply didn't exist anymore. My family members are still suffering. They don't want to be potential victims. They want to escape death and live like other families on the planet.

 On 01/01/2024, they attacked the local mosque and the missile failed to explode and ended up in front of my family's house. My family is in danger and the missile will explode any second.

Since then, my family has decided to be evacuated from Gaza because of the senseless attack on our city. Please help me evacuate my family to Egypt so that they can rebuild their lives in peace.

I've been in Belgium for over five years. I feel useless because I haven't been able to do much except try to help them with their daily living expenses. That's why we created this campaign. We're raising funds to evacuate my family to Egypt, a place that offers a glimmer of hope and stability. However, the cost of the evacuation is high, hence our call for crowdfunding.

Every contribution makes a difference The funds we raise will be used for :

- Evacuation from Gaza for both families (Rafah border crossing fees for 9 people total)  - Two months of temporary living expenses in Egypt, including food, shelter, and transportation  - Passport fees  - Food expences untill they leave Gaza 

No matter how small your contribution, it can make all the difference in breaking the cycle of violence and uncertainty. By supporting our campaign, you are offering a lifeline to our families so that they can rebuild their lives, heal from their trauma and make a fresh start in a safe and secure environment. Please leave a comment and share our campaign with your friends, so we can reach more people and make a bigger impact. Together, we can make a difference!"

They are using a French platform called Papayoux Solidarite instead of GoFundMe. Abeer also has a Paypal account for non European donors.

They are currently at 33 588,78 €/ 50,000 €.

Let's see if we can get them to 34,000 today. Any donation matters, even $1 or $2 donations can add up.

We need to help them meet their goal. Intersex liberation means intersex liberation everywhere--it is so important that we show up in solidarity. Those of us living with CAH know how dangerous salt wasting crises are without medication, and how important it is to urgently help Mohammed and Ibrahim get access to the medications they need to support their CAH. Intersex solidarity means that we need to show up and support intersex people facing genocide.

If you can't donate, please share. Consider doing an art raffle to raise money. Do whatever you can to help this family because it is urgent, and we need to act in solidarity with them now and make sure that the intersex community is here to support them!

[mobbu-min]

☆ yummy in my tummy ☆

part two

a/n i swear everytime im about to play love and deepspace, the app needs another update. my phone storage can't keep up T0T anyways, i'm not that far in but xavier is my fave. he lowkey reminds me of silver haha. rafayel is a close second tho

includes: all of octavinelle, scarabia + pomefiore

tw mentions of eating disorder

want more? check out part one!

Octavinelle <3

⋆ Perhaps the last dorm that you want to know about your skills. But alas, your heart is vast, so even shady seamen deserves some delicious home cooked meals/treats!

⋆ How about making some extra cash? Is what Azul says after taking a bit. He does mean it. Not only would Monstro Lounge gain some more popularity after news of the Ramshackle Perfect’s home made meals/treats were being served, but he gets to spend time with you without giving his feelings away? A win-win if you asked him. As we all know, Azul does suffer from an eating disorder, as much as he tries to deny it, but somehow your cooking/baking doesn’t upset him at all. If anything, he gets so lost in the flavors that he doesn’t realize that his stomach is full and plate empty. Should he be concerned? Disgusted with himself? Lots of negative emotions begin to swell up, but when he glances at you, fully expecting the worst, he’s met with your proud smile. Happiness practically radiating off your being. And suddenly, Azul doesn’t mind the feeling of a full stomach as long as you look at him like that again.

⋆ Jade finds himself coming to you more often to ask for tips on how to cook mushrooms in different ways. Heck, he even encourages you to come out mushroom hunting with him. He’s fascinated by the way you work, seeing you mix different spices and ingredients together inspires him to do the same. He enjoys getting a glimpse at a third world, your world. It reminds him that the universe is truely a big, fascinating place. He is touched that your first thought was to bring him food, don’t worry he’ll repay the favor.

⋆ Your food is the only thing to get Floyd out of his moods! Once he smells the delicious scent of your meals/sweets, he instantly goes back to being silly and goofy! He will pester the living daylights out of you to make his favorite foods. You will know no peace! Floyd always makes his distaste clear. He’s an honest guy, what can he say? So it’s a big achievement that your food gets the Floyd pass. He will glare at anyone that dares to come near his food. This is his food, not theirs! Floyd’s a good cook himself, so like Jade, if he’s feeling particularly chummy, you might be gifted with his own unique concoction.

Scarabia <3

⋆ Scarabia is known to have the best food in the school! So it was a little jarring when you decided to give them some of your homemade food. But you really have nothing to worry about when it comes to these too.

⋆ You thought you were going to go blind with how bright Kalim's smile was. It truly could rival the sun. Because of the trust between you and Kalim, he devours it within seconds. Practically buzzing in excitement as the flavors touch his tongue. He’s not joking when he says that it’s as good as Jamil’s food. He wants to throw a party where you and Jamil have a cook off! But also just to show off your amazing cooking. You’re going to have to politely tell him that might be too much for you. Or that you only cook for special people! (subtle flirting hehe) And well Kalim is Kalim so it’s like a 50/50 chance that it won’t fly over his head. But in the case that it doesn’t, Kalim gets all warm and flustered. You know how some people get cuteness aggression and just want to squeeze said cuteness, well that’s Kalim. Instantly you're in his arms while he exclaims how much he loves you!

⋆ Jamil gave you the weirdest look, thinking that you wanted something from him. But alas! You did it out of the goodness of your heart. After getting over his initial suspicion, Jamil is incredibly thankful! I get a feeling that between everything that Jamil has to handle, he tends to eat very little most days. Just enough to get him to bedtime. So when you popped out of thin air with food, but not just any food his favorite, Jamil is touched. Though just because he’s touched, that doesn’t mean he won’t critique it! Internally of course, unless you ask. I would like to say that this would lead to cooking dates, but Jamil gives me the impression that he doesn’t like others in the kitchen while he works. Though he’s willing to try it out for you! Omg, if you make him food from the Scalding Sands, he just might tear up (lol, probably not but that’s a funny thought) but he will be incredibly touched!

Pomefiore <3

⋆ A tricky dorm to cook/bake for. A life or death situation! You must satisfy the Queen’s tastes or else you’ll face everlasting sleep! OoooOOoooooOOOoooo

⋆ Your greatest foe, the Queen herself! Does your food satisfy the Queen’s strict diet? ………partially. Listen, Vil holds himself to high regards and keeps a stern eye on his calories and where those calories come from. And while yes, you are going the right path, you also took some side quests on the way. In other words, you were like 74% to getting Vil’s approval. But fear not! For Vil is more than willing to take you under his wing! Though, Vil’s not a chef himself, so he’ll guide you in the ways of his diets. As long as you keep those in mind, Vil finds himself thoroughly enjoying anything you make him. He enjoys foods that are light on the stomach with plenty of nourishment. Vil will oftentimes find himself thinking about your food. His stomach growling in hunger. He appreciates it whenever you show up with homemade snacks. Vil will oftentimes submerge himself in his work, whether that be new roles, schoolwork or guiding his dorm mates, and forget to eat. So knowing that you're always thinking of him and coming to check up on him makes him feel all mushy and gooey inside. Goodness, the effects you have on him.

⋆ C’est délicieux! Anything and everything you give Rook is eaten with fervor. Truly enjoying and savoring every bite! For how could he let anything go to waste? You put your heart and soul into it, it would be wrong not to enjoy it with his own heart and soul. His appetite is never quenched when it comes to your food. He consumes your food with such earnestness that it's hard not to get all flustered. The compliments are never ending when it comes to him. Rook could (and has) write poetry off the delicious taste of your food. Sweet, yet a little off putting. Will jump at any occasion to speak about your food, and by extension you. Eveytime he sees you with a bag or box, Rook is skipping towards you with a little tune to each step.

⋆ Nothing could beat his Meemaw’s apple pie, but Epel supposes that yours come to a close second. Your food is the only thing Vil will turn a blind eye to, which Epel takes as an opportunity to slyly (not really) suggest new recipes for you to try. Honestly, Epel really likes your food! He gets all flustered whenever you pop with food for him. At first he was a little insulted that you made him food, thinking you were insulting his masculinity or something by babying him. But after your very honest words (and a reprimanding from Vil and Leona for making you sad), Epel understands that it was just you trying to show him that you cared for him. I can see Epel going to Jack and asking ‘Is someone giving you food manly?’ and Jack, who happened to overhear Leona telling Ruggie, casually responds with, ‘My mom always makes my dad food, so yeah…” And Epel’s all like, ‘Well damn, if Jack looks like that then his dad must be super macho.’ or something like that. Needless to say, Epel has never hit someone so hard before over food. (rip grim and ace)

[iatrophilosophos]

Hey I'm hearing uh. More, and more, and more buzz about GLP-1 agonists like ozempic from random ppl and healthcare providers alike and there's like a terrifying lack of lucidity abt it so I just wanna say, if you've heard some stuff and are curious:

Ozempic is a chemically-aided crash diet. That's it.

Like metformin, an older diabetes medication used off-label for weight loss, it's functioning as an appetite suppressant in this use-case. It's not magic; it's not changing how your body makes or uses fat; it just makes it less miserable to eat less. It is contraindicated by histories of disordered eating and should absolutely not be prescribed without a full screening for above-adequate food intake and nutrition *and* ongoing screening for adequate nourishment/malnutrition: this is broadly not happening.

I've also seen no indication that ozempic/GLP-1 agonists are any less likely to lead to weight cycling (w/o constant use) than a straight crash diet, or do anything meaningful to limit the known, significant health risks of weight cycling.

Nothing has changed:

The main things we know from a western scientific perspective about weight and weight loss are that 1) almost all people who lose significant weight gain it back and 2) weight cycling causes cardiovascular and metabolic health complications. Yall we aint even have strong evidence to suggest that weight loss is beneficial to health conditions associated with higher weights. This *should* point to Dr's never ever reccomending weight loss (we do know it can hurt, don't know it can help) but yknow we live in uhhhh fucking world.

We are possibly ripe for an aggressive intensification of anti-fat medical rhetoric, especially in pediatrics

Among the projections for an RFK FDA that ive gotten from folks i know in these fields is a renewed focus on childhood obseity and general military-style fitness. As the ozempic fad has already been ramping up, I'm kinda! concerned! about this being a major point of focus for the oncoming administration--i figure we're ripe for another mass diet craze associated with a wide variety of deaths anyway and that existing cultural+market inertia added to it being literally on the agenda spells some not great things. I really seriously reccomend paying extra attention to this area.

Clinics love ozempic because it's extremely popular and extremely profitable--i even know someone who's job was threatened for refusing to prescribe it. We already know that we cant trust doctors to be informed around weight or for the system to sound public alarms.

Obviously, people have the right to do whatever they want--but the disclosure just isn't there and people are being sold this stuff based on the idea it'll make them *healthier* and prevent disease. It can't and it won't.

If the claims here about weight in general are new to you, start here: (Don't love the title of the article, second the exasperation)

If you want to understand more about glp-1 agonists specifically, like, start with the Wikipedia article and do some googling it lays out the pharmacology in relatively plain language. Sry i ain't doing a buncha work to find citations ppl won't click; there's not a lot of good critical stuff out there that's actually published but it doesn't actually take a lot of reading up on critical weight science to form a critical take on the sources singing ozempics praises.

Peace, good luck, do whatever you want forever, maybe tell ur mom that this isn't any different from the disastrous weight loss fads of the 90s.

[jedi-enthusiasm-blog]

Many people have taken one look at this and inmediately leaped to the conclusion that Jedi forbid emotions. Which is, huh… interesting.

What people don't realize is that the Jedi Order are a religious organization, and as such they have their own sacred texts, such as this meditation mantra (because yeah, that's the only time it's ever mentioned, during meditation).

And the trick about this kind of texts is that they're not meant to be taken literally. You're not supposed to take it at face value, you're supposed to think about it, reflect about it, and then interpretate it. I'm sure the average "fan" hasn't actually thought about it beyond "code bad Jedi evil", nevermind that it's not actually the Jedi Code mentioned in the films.

Since it's a meditation mantra, one used to focus to make connecting with the Force easier, it makes perfect sense that this is how you should feel when using the Force.

You shouldn't be overwhelmed with emotions or passions, you shouldn't act if you don't have knowledge. This is obvious: if you can command the essence of life, then maybe you should actually be in the state of mind to do it.

However, the other lines of "no chaos but harmony" and "no death but the Force" don't fit into this. So, what do they mean?

Here is the other version of the Code. It was seen for the first time in the Kanan comics, and is arguably more canon than the previous one.

(People have called it the Gray Jedi Code, which is hilarious in and on itself and another point in favor of the argument that the so called Gray Jedi are just canon Jedi.)

I'm sure everyone can agree that this one is good.

Feel, but find peace in your emotions. Know nothing, but figure it out. Suffer, but look past it to find serenity. Just like there is chaos, there is harmony. And just like there is death, there is the Force.

But what if I told you that both Codes are saying the same thing?

I know, I know. You probably think I'm crazy, but… what if they're saying the same things, in different ways?

To expand on the interpretation that the first one is how you should be when using the Force (and I admit with my whole chest that this is my interpretation), we can say that the Force isn't naturally things like emotion and chaos. They are only what we bring with us.

That doesn't make them any less real. They are, and they are important, but they are subjective experiences. Everyone will have different emotions, different passions, different things they are ignorant of. Even death, even as it will come for everyone, is something private and personal. I don't know what X person felt or thought when they died.

However, things like peace, harmony and the Force are universal.

Chaos (noun): "complete disorder and confusion." "the property of a complex system whose behaviour is so unpredictable as to appear random"

Dictionary definition, bear with me. "Whose behavior is so unpredictable as to appear random". It isn't random, it has patterns and reasons to happen just like everything else. We simply don't know those patterns. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Just because we don't know something doesn't mean we can't learn it. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. Therefore there is no such thing as chaos, not really, just a pattern, an order, a harmony, we don't know yet. First definition is about human reaction, not anything about the object itself. There is no chaos, there is harmony.

Emotion, ignorance, passion, chaos, even death. They are all feelings, subjective experiences, things that, ultimately, can change as you find new understanding (well, death only happens once and is permanent but you get the point). But inner peace, knowledge (about situations, about people's reactions), serenity and harmony are all universal. They exist, and will exist long after we die, we just have to find them.

And, long as we remember people, as we understand that all lives have left a mark, big or small, we will keep those who have passed alive within our hearts.

Death, yet the Force. There is no death, there is the Force. Or, perhaps���

"(The Force)'s an energy field created by all living things" Obi-Wan Kenobi, ANH

"Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter" Yoda, ESB

"No one's ever really gone" Luke Skywalker, TLJ

Death, yet the essence of living beings. There is no death, there is life.

[ckret2]

Any mention of shape segregation

Nope.

Here's what we know about how his dimension handled shapes and how it compares to canon Flatland:

Bill mentions rhombuses and trapezoids when talking about his home and that they're wasting his oxygen. In Flatland, rhombuses & trapezoids would never be allowed to live—only squares are regular quadrilaterals, and any deviation from regularity so great it can't be fixed in childhood (about 1º) is grounds for execution or imprisonment. So the mere existence of rhombuses & trapezoids in great enough numbers that Bill can comment on them means his dimension was MUCH more tolerant of irregularity than Flatland.

A triangle suggesting quadrilaterals are wasting his air could mean that quadrilaterals don't outrank triangles in his dimension—or, that could just be Bill's ego talking. On the other hand, a regular(ish?) triangle suggesting irregular quadrilaterals are beneath him could be prejudice against irregularity... or, again, could just be Bill's ego talking.

When Bill claims to be geometrically perfect, he tells the reader to stop staring at his "hypotenuse." Only right triangles (triangles with a 90º angle) have a "hypotenuse," while equilateral triangles are 60º/60º/60º An irregular that's 30º off of regularity is unheard of in Flatland, and would be MILES beyond grounds for execution, never mind wasting time surgically correcting it. IF Bill really had a hypotenuse, the mere fact that he's alive means his dimension is incredibly different from Flatland. (Or: it could mean that Alex is playing fast & loose with what he remembers from geometry class and he just used "hypotenuse" to mean "the longest side.")

When he claims to be geometrically perfect, he doesn't say that all his angles/sides are the same. Only that they add up to 180º, which is true of every triangle.

Bill seems to be very proud of being a triangle, at odds with how low-ranked they are in Flatland; again, this could mean triangles WEREN'T low ranked in his world, or it could just be Bill's ego.

His fake magazine cover says "FEELING OBTUSE? Get acute for the summer!" This could be only a joke about fad diets in magazines: but IF we decide to take it seriously, obtuse angles are anything over 90º, so that suggests ideal triangles have all acute angles, but that having an obtuse angle is something that can be address through a fad diet rather than through infant surgery or execution. (This would only apply to triangles: a regular quadrilateral would have all right angles, not obtuse or acute; and any higher regular shapes are supposed to have all obtuse angles.)

One of the hidden codes in the book says "IRREGULAR," that's it, no further context. It stands to reason, though, that this means the concept of irregularity exists in Bill's dimension, and it's a sore point. (But we have no context yet for what "irregular" means in the Gravity Falls setting; maybe it has nothing to do with a shape's sides/angles, and just refers to other disorders or mutations like Bill's ability to see the third dimension.)

Another hidden code says "HIS DIMENSION NOW DECEASED SCALENE AND EUCLID REST IN PEACE". We don't know who/what "scalene" and "euclid" are yet. Another couple codes suggest "Euclidia" might be the name of his dimension and/or homeworld, so "Scalene and Euclid" might be the names of worlds; another theory is that Scalene and Euclid are his parent's names. At any rate, "scalene" means a triangle with no matching sides/angles; Flatland allows for isosceles triangles with two matching sides, but not scalene. It seems unlikely that a person or planet would be named Scalene unless being scalene was normal and accepted in society.

The codes mention a fair amount of medical trauma in baby Billy's childhood, but it all seems to revolve around his eye, not his shape. If he was a right triangle and became equilateral, either he got surgery too young to remember; got medical interventions he could remember that were not traumatic; or had no medical interventions at all, and maybe in his dimension a growing triangle can naturally develop from a 90º angle into a 60º angle.

tl;dr:

NO mention of segregating shapes

NO mention of a hierarchy based on how many sides you have

extreme irregularity seems to be tolerated and NOT grounds for execution

there's evidence to suggest that, at minimum, ideal triangles have all acute angles; this implies the possibility that regularity was still preferred to irregularity, even if irregularity is tolerable

evidence suggests they believed you could change your angles via personal decisions (i.e. diet) and therefore your shape isn't permanently set or a reflection of your intrinsic morality

medical interventions for irregular angles were either milder compared to Flatland or non-existent

"irregularity" in their society might refer to mutations unrelated to their geometric shapes

And that's everything we know about how shapes are treated in his dimension.

Let me know if I missed any mention of angles or shapes in his dimension.

[endivinity]

I've been diagnosed with ADHD-inattentive! It's clinically mild. It wasn't picked up in childhood because I was a gifted kid who wasn't disruptive or fidgety, or doing otherwise vastly inappropriately-timed behaviour outside of the usual for my age group, and then when it started presenting in later high school years I got the classic 'has potential, just needs to focus. Unfinished projects' in my reports, but because I wasn't fidgety or majorly disruptive it just got sort of sidelined. I fell between the cracks. But I think that's just the done thing, for people like me. Not severe enough to be noticeable, or the symptoms are managed (with a lot of hidden difficulty), or you're not enough of a compelling case (trying to get government assisted work placement failed, back when it was just the sleep disorder) - just mediocre, a mild inconvenience, your strengths prevented from being fully reached because they don't like all the issues of your deficits. which for me is in administrative stuff, as evidenced by never replying to emails :'D And then people sort of wonder why you're not doing everything they think you can. Believe me, we fucking know. We're frustrated too. There's a special kind of grief that comes with that, being left behind because you exist in a middle ground of expectation and disappointment, that I think I have to make peace with as I move forward with this. I'm 31. I've lost nine years to struggling between my degree and now. It wasn't all bad, but it's one of those things where I can't help but wonder how different it could've been if I'd known earlier. So what happens from here? I dunno. I'm being put on a trial run of meds and I have to properly handle my life balance since it's very easy to neglect your health when there are no outside pressures to do otherwise. more than anything I want to finish those five-year-old commissions that are still outstanding. Every time I open the files I get anxious and it really, really fucking sucks for everyone involved. From there, who knows?

[helenofblackthorns]

maybe it's just me but sometimes the narrative surrounding Julian & his siblings in the fandom annoys me just a little bit. especially the twins like he is not their father?? he did not raise them?? yes he did raise Tavvy but the twins are literally two years younger than him. they have the exact same age gap as Alec & Izzy.

like I understand where this perspective comes from, aka Julian. obviously it seems like common sense to take a main character at his word but you can't!! Julian's has a very disordered thought process regarding his siblings specifically and he isn't necessarily representing the situation clearly. he was forced to grow up very quickly at a young age and because of that he's created a narrative in his head that frames his siblings as being younger than they are and he's wrong!! except maybe Tavvy they ALL grew up too fast. we literally see Dru looking after Tavvy multiple times during tda like she's also raising him. and Julian is in many ways blind to that (he does work on it throughout the series tho, see: him letting Ty & Livvy go out on their own in London & treating Dru less like a little kid)

yes he refers to them as his kids sometimes, but again, this is disordered thinking. Livvy Ty & Dru don't view him at a father figure: Ty was literally the champion of wanting Mark to take over from Julian (and he hates change!!). Livvy & Ty also hacked his phone so they could keep tabs and make sure he was ok like. Julian perspection is not mutual, and even he doesn't always believe in it. exhibit a:

look at the language he uses regarding each of his siblings. in his ideal future, he wants to teach Tavvy (which is very parental) but he wants to fence with Livvy, and watch movies with Dru, and look for animals with Ty - as equals, as siblings. he just wants to be able to hang out with them doing things they love without having the burden of caring for them. which is also different to how Mark & Helen (& Aline) are referred to, as they are sharing that burden. he's not really bonding with them in the way he wants to with his younger siblings. (which also is bring us to the other contributing factor here which is that tda (& sobh) give the impression that Julian is closest with Mark and people assume that has always been the case. which isnt true but that's a whole other post lol)

anyway I really really hope twp digs into this significantly & we see more of the whole situation from Ty's & Dru's eyes. because I need Julian's framing to be broken down within the text for my own peace of mind and also because I want to see him finally have that bond back

[genderqueerdykes]

i just had the sudden realization due to your blog that it’s okay for me to simply be ugly. I don’t have to be conventionally attractive, or attractive by the standards of an alternative community or by any sort of niche queer circle i can literally just be ugly and that’s okay. and I can also not care <3 idk if i’m ugly or pretty or anything and it doesn’t matter cause it is enough for me to just be.

i’m a disabled person for who body neutrality was huge for learning how to be at peace with my disorders, and body positivity never did anything for me, so it kind of blows my mind that i never really thought of this sooner tbh

anyways thank u!!! i am starting to feel more comfortable in my body thanks to you

YES!!!!!! YES YES YES FUCK YES

you can literally look however the fuck. you do NOT have to cover up ANYTHING on your body, you don't have to hide your natural features, or anything that came from surgery, or even body mods. there's nothing wrong with having features that don't fit into the conventional "norm" of what "looks good"- our bodies come in a million different shapes, naturally. we are not inherently imperfect. we do not have to strive to make our bodies and faces "perfect"

of course! hey you can't always go from one end to the other right away, i think learning body neutrality is a good way to go. it's okay to just be. it's alright. your comfort & autonomy supersedes all of that. i'm okay with being ugly, you're allowed to be okay with it, too.

take care of yourself, this made me smile. really glad tohear you had this realization. take care of yourself, have a good time out there. your body is yours and you deserve to be at peace with just existing in it.

[queerprayers]

I'm a lifelong Christian and I've been struck with fear recently because I've never feared God. I love God so much, but I cannot fear anyone whom I love. Those two things can't go together in my mind. I think of 1 John 4:18 and I justified, but then I think of all of Proverbs (wisdom is the fear of God) or even some of Jesus' sayings (ex. Luke 12:5)... and I start feeling like a horrible Christian because I just can't imagine loving someone that I'm afraid of. I guess I am afraid sometimes of God showing me my guilt when I sin, but I'm not scared of God sending me into eternal hell or anything, because I wouldn't be able to believe in a God who'd do that to anyone. Is there another way to think about "fear of God"?

What a great topic, beloved! The answer is yes, there are many ways to think about the concept of "fear of God!" 

The first thing I want to bring up is that we have to be careful about moralizing emotions. As someone with a mood disorder, I know all too well that when we do this, we alienate people with emotional differences, and we also fundamentally misunderstand a lot. We cannot control our emotions. We can choose between reveling in them or moving on from them, we can learn ways to process them, we can identify whether they're helpful, but we cannot control them. Because of this, we cannot require certain emotions as a virtue. It's not realistic or helpful.

Fear, the way we usually talk about it, is an emotion. It can be a logical response or a completely illogical one. Someone with an anxiety disorder may experience fear in perfectly normal situations; someone with paranoia or a phobia may be afraid of completely safe situations. We may not feel fear in an unsafe situation because of recklessness or ignorance. 

Emotional responses to God are varied and uncontrollable—although with religious education and emotional intelligence, they can be useful. We can process our guilt to decide whether it's pushing us to change or keeping us trapped. We can process our joy and cherish when it is a response to holy things. We can let anger lead us to work for justice. We can honor our grief at injustice but work to not let it paralyze us. We can love worldly things or eternal things. Again, I don't want to moralize emotion, but rather honor it as a part of the human experience and use it to serve God.

You're afraid because you don't fear God—this comes out of a desire to be a "good Christian," to cultivate in yourself what is holy. Ironically, your fear is leading you to God, the kind of fear you were afraid you didn't have. Now if fear of being a horrible Christian traps you, if it causes you not to care for yourself, if it keeps you from experiencing the joy of Christianity, we know it isn't serving you. But it can, and it may be doing so right now, pushing you to think further about this.

To see fear as a virtue, though, we have to look beyond uncontrollable emotional responses. We have to see it in Scripture in all its many facets. You have identified two completely different verses on fear—showing us that fear can be can be the enemy of perfect love, and also a logical response to a God that has ultimate power. Fear can prevent us from reaching out (being afraid), or it can be an awareness of our own lack of power, our dependence on God, and result in surrender. Anxiety is a shutting in; reverence is a reaching out.

I cheated and used the Wikipedia page to find this, but Pope Francis said that

The fear of the Lord, the gift of the Holy Spirit, doesn’t mean being afraid of God, since we know that God is our Father that always loves and forgives us,...[It] is no servile fear, but rather a joyful awareness of God’s grandeur and a grateful realization that only in him do our hearts find true peace.

We don't fear God because we don't trust him—we fear offending God because we love God, we fear losing God because we are completely dependent on God, we fear forgetting God's love because that's the only meaning in the universe.

I've really valued C.S. Lewis's perspectives on fear—I don't have The Problem of Pain with me right now, but the Wikipedia page for "numinous" helpfully quotes it:

Suppose you were told there was a tiger in the next room: you would know that you were in danger and would probably feel fear. But if you were told "There is a ghost in the next room," and believed it, you would feel, indeed, what is often called fear, but of a different kind. It would not be based on the knowledge of danger, for no one is primarily afraid of what a ghost may do to him, but of the mere fact that it is a ghost. It is "uncanny" rather than dangerous, and the special kind of fear it excites may be called Dread. With the Uncanny one has reached the fringes of the Numinous. Now suppose that you were told simply "There is a mighty spirit in the room," and believed it. Your feelings would then be even less like the mere fear of danger: but the disturbance would be profound. You would feel wonder and a certain shrinking—a sense of inadequacy to cope with such a visitant and of prostration before it—an emotion which might be expressed in Shakespeare's words "Under it my genius is rebuked." This feeling may be described as awe, and the object which excites it as the Numinous.

Proverbs states multiple times that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom—not guilt, not an eternal state of being afraid, not self-hatred, not doom. When it is an understanding of our dependence on God, our recognizing how small we are and how much power God has, when we realize that everything real to us is a pitiful reflection of what is in store, that is where we find wisdom in this life. 

Proverbs also tells us that to fear the Lord is to hate evil (8:13). 16:6 says that evil is avoided through the fear of the Lord. Job 28:28 tells us that the fear of the Lord is wisdom, and to shun evil is understanding. We see here fear of God leading us to good works and obedience—if it's not leading us anywhere, it's stagnation. (The same with guilt.)

Another place fear of God leads us is life and rest (Proverbs 14:27; 19:23). Fully understanding and submitting ourselves to God, knowing how afraid we would and should be without that rock, we can rest knowing that we have God, the fountain of life.

Another interesting thing besides evil that fear of God is set against is arrogance/pride. Romans 11:20 says, "Do not be arrogant, but tremble." Proverbs 22:4: "Humility is the fear of the Lord." When we set ourselves as the center of the universe, when we think we're in control, when we cling to earthly things, we are not in that state of reverence. 

Fear of God is holy—but over and over, God tells us to not be afraid. So what's the difference between these fears? Fear of earthly things (the emotion) is a logical response to the very real dangers we experience. But when we make that a state of being, when we don't move anywhere, we're not trusting God. Fear of God, on the other hand, is that ultimate trust and awareness. "Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe" (Proverbs 29:25).

Fear keeping us safe seems an oxymoron if we define it as an emotion, which is an earthly experience. We have to look further. We have to understand that the logical response to an all-powerful God is being afraid, but the first thing an angel meeting us would say is, "Be not afraid." Fear the one who has the authority to throw you into hell, yes, but worship the one whose love drives out that fear. 

You may have skipped the first step—your love of God is admirable. But leave some room for awe, for the strangeness of religion, for the reality of your lack of power. If fear comes up, let it lead you to Life. Don't try to control your emotional responses, but cultivate a spirit of reverence. And keep thinking. Keep finding seemingly conflicting Bible verses. You're not a horrible Christian—you're just a Christian. Not to be a Lutheran, but you cannot by your own reason or strength believe in Jesus Christ or come to him—but the Holy Spirit has called you, and will not meet you in the middle, but rather make all the steps and land where you are. And the only response that I have ever found is to surrender.

<3 Johanna

[jweekgoji]

I love your platonic hcs with five!! Can you make more please?:33

Yandere!Five/Reader [platonic/hcs]

tw: very soft yan!dad!five, reader described as child here, mentions of Five/Dolores romantic relationship, brief mentions of Five's past trauma, hints on eating disorders, overprotective behavior word count: ~900. a/n: Thank you for your request, Anon. It was good to write something about my old interest after quite a break. I made this is mostly based on information I had read months ago from some book. Tiny sequel for this.

Kinda sad that tua fics aren't as popular as before and slowly dying.

Let's ignore the ending and other moments we shouldn't talk and pretend like...everything ended well for the Hargreeves family! All the siblings mostly live separately from each other, but they still care for one another and meet on birthdays and other holidays.

Five meets a young, pretty lady during one of his undercover missions, and after that «love at first sight» trope, their relationship grows strong, leading to Five finally abandoning his job as an agent (honestly, good for him).

I really like the idea of Five having a quiet, peaceful life somewhere far away with his family. His wife is a popular fashion model and earns enough money for the family, while Five is the one who stays at the house, keeping you safe and raising the way he wished he was.

Five is scared to repeat the past mistakes his family members made; that's why I see him being extra overprotective with you. He wants to give you everything he never had in his childhood, and it often leads to you growing into some spoiled brat.

I can see him pausing for a moment and having that «wait...WHAT?» look when you reply with a sassy remark, and that's the moment he sees that you're basically becoming the tiny version of his young self. Part of him is proud, he knows that you will be able to stand up for yourself in the future, but the other part...he's not really happy to deal with someone who uses his own methods against him, as we can tell from the show (points at the other versions of Five).

Five is that parent who wakes up early in the morning to prepare breakfast for you. He has a sweet tooth, but he avoids giving you too much sugar, like I mentioned before. By the moment you wake up, you see a plate of eggs and bacon carefully formed into a smiley face with a glass of juice next to it.

I see Five spending a lot of time reading about parenting. He is well-educated enough in many fields, but it's just something he likes to do when he is free from house chores. Sitting in the chair with glasses on and a warm blanket laid on his lap, it's a heartwarming sight. Dolores will return from work later this day, only to see her husband having a nap in their little library and their child eeping next to him.

Five is especially careful with the food he prepares for you. After decades of loneliness in the apocalypse, he had few food choices. Every day felt like a constant survival, and the idea of you experiencing the same at such a young age terrifies him. He unconsciously gives you a little too much food, constantly asking “you need more?” just to make sure you're well-fed. Five might pay less attention to himself, but you're getting the best meal ever.

Five gives me the idea of that dad who will hold you close next to him 24/7. Yandere Five just can't bear the idea of you being somewhere away from home for more than an hour. There's a deep conflict in his heart, and his wife always tells him that it's fine. You're growing up, it's natural for you to try and separate from your parents, but this bothers him to insanity.

There's no more apocalypse, no more The Commission; the world is quiet now; there's no need for him to worry about. He never argues with you about it, the moment you leave your home to meet with a friend, your phone will cry from constant messages like “are you okay?”, “where are you now?”, “when will you go back?”. He needs to know it in case, well...just something happens, he's responsible adult, after all.

For most parents, Five seems like the ideal father figure, but he gets a little overbearing sometimes. When you snap at him, giving something like “just leave me alone!”, he would get quiet immediately. It is a significant difference between him now and in the past.

Usually he never lets people to dismiss him like that, he would have dragged you back and lectured you about disrespecting him, but now he's just sad. He will let you cool down, just to think what he has done wrong.

Five loves spending time with you, mainly because he never had the chance to spend some time with his own family. There were missions, there were trainings, there were constant fighting, etc., and after his retirement he plans to give his full attention to you. He knows a lot, from how to solve some difficult equations under 15 minutes to how to kill a person with a pencil, but it's not the same when the person whom you trust the most teacher you everything.

Reginald never bothered to spend a simple father and son moments, how to be a man and deal with various situations in his life, that's why he wants to teach you of something simple. He knows it's not as impressive, but it's quality time that matters.

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Fun Carmy

Fun Carmy is relaxed Carmy, the other one is Logan, his social alter ego.

I was wondering if Carmy ever had a day of fun in whole life because IMO he has always been that anxious lil kid around others, that we saw in Fishes (02X06), I’m sure. He’s better at the tête-à-tête like the one he briefly had with Michelle that evening

OR as part of small close-knit groups, like that scene in the kitchen (Ceres 01x06).

These assumptions, I think, are also completely backed up by his S1 -Emmy Winning- monologue (Braciole 01x08).

And what I ended up realizing is that FUN CARMEN is not the one we might think we haven’t really seen yet, and that fun for him does NOT look like it may look for us or for a more extrovert type of person.

I happen to be listening to Nina as I type this, and she once said:

I think that quote fits Carmy and his "sense of fun" perfectly.

Fun Carmy is relaxed Carmy, and at peace Carmy.

This is fun Carmy

Fun for Carmy doesn't look like this

Fun Carmy is relaxed Carmy

Logan is not "fun", he is actually a source of anxiety for Carmy, and that's why he can't keep him "on" for long. He wasn't lying when he said he wasn't remotely OK at the party (Pop 02x05) because at that point he hadn't turned Logan on yet.

Logan is "The other one", the one most people would label as "fun", because it better fits the social CONSTRUCT of what fun looks like, but Logan Fernello Berzatto is actually his functional alter-ego.

His functional or social alter - ego explained from a behaviorist perspective

We all have functional alter egos, this is related to the PERSONAL constructs concept developed by Psychologist George Kelly. These are formed at a fairly early age, even well within our 20s we are still forming our personalities and constructs or ideas of how the world works and what everything means, and thus how we should interact with and/or react to this world we live in, in other words, how to adapt or not to our environment. Then comes our career that can prolong this formative period even more, for instance, celebs of any age are required to have an alter ego for those occasions on which they have to "turn it on" for the camera or the stage → "the stage persona" that is NEVER the same person as the real one behind the wheel of the "functional alter-ego" and this persona has been formed based on their ideal of what has worked best for them in the past, what their PR team or Managers require of them to get them jobs, etc. They may come across as genuine and relatable but celebs are usually always "on" when we see them even off camera, so they are not, not completely. We all have the "office construct", the "school construct", the "mom chat group construct", etc. That is actually a sign of being well-adjusted to fit in society, and that is why we do not act the exact same way in all those different situations even though we are the same person, because we are not the same "persona" and that's OK. It's not a sign of phoniness, or lack of honesty, although it can definitely turn into that and become dysfunctional when there's an underlying mental health disorder, although it doesn't always turn out like that, thank dog!

In Carmy's case in particular, he can handle Logan and turn him on / off at will, which means he's in that aspect still well-adjusted despite his multiple mental health conditions, probably because none of them is a personality disorder, so it's safe to assume that he somewhat knows what's he's doing, he's choosing it to a certain extent and it's not 100% unconscious, only partially.

His lines are becoming blurry because he let Syd in, whether he admits it or not. And deep down, he knows this but he's not fully willing to go there (yet). That's what S4 is for.

This aligns with the rest of his behavior I already went over in previous posts:

Fun Carmy is the one that California, Copenhagen, and Chicago post-Sydney Adamu brought out in him. He's what most people, not me, would call relaxed, chilled, etc.

Relaxed Carmy, at peace Carmy, coloring Carmy, talking about food and cracking lil jokes under a table Carmy, is FUN CARMY.

We know him already. We've seen him. He just turns him off when he's The Bear or Logan.

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

[lokisprettygirl]

Rain to his Fire (Modern! Daemon Targaryen x Female Reader) (Non Canon 80s Au) (18+)

Read Chapter 11 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 12

Summary: In search of the truth about Daemon's life you find yourself in trouble.

Warning: 18+, kidnapping, assault, smut, crude language, kidn description of Statutory rape, discussion of mental health (it's a fic based in a mental health facility), mention of child molestation, mention of physical assault, the fic would contain several mentions of several disorders like mpd, did etc, if something triggers you don't read, smoking

As you awakened in a dark and unfamiliar setting, a sense of unease and dread overcame you as the only light in the dingy, filthy space was the flickering torch in the distance, the smell of dirt, oil and rot engulfed you. Your head felt heavy as if it were being weighed down by a heavy rock, making it difficult to focus and fully comprehend your surroundings. Suddenly, a sharp pain shot through your arm, and you realized that a needle had been driven into it. The next time you opened your eyes, you were still in the same spot, but you felt even worse this time.

“You have a fight in you.. I like that” you heard his voice so you looked ahead of you. Suddenly everything came rushing back.

As you had came out of Daemon's room last evening you were startled to see Caroline standing on her doorway, half naked, there was a deep red mark on her upper thighs in the shape of an angel’s wings but in the dark of the night and dim lighting you were unable to discern whether it was a tattoo or a birthmark.

You had just hoped that she wouldn't snitch on you and Daemon. You knew Breaking and entering Viserys's office was probably a bad idea but it seemed like a good plan to you at the time, you just wanted to help Daemon and you got caught certainly but last evening you had found more than just that book in his office.

“And you have none..you're such a coward that you won't even accept the truth” you spat at him angrily but he only snickered sinisterly in response.

“Truth? You think you know the truth about who he is? Do you think fucking him is going to fix him? He can't be fixed you see, I have tried. God knows I have I tried to fix him but the monster that lives inside him would come out sooner or later and once it does it would burn down this world that we know of and i can't let that happen..it's my responsibility to put a stop to this”

*********

Daemon was losing his mind, when Criston had relayed the news of your disappearance on him, he immediately felt nauseous and didn't know what to make of it, a part of him didn't want to believe it, he didn't want to think of you finding yourself in harm's way

He remembered your foolish plan to sneak into Viserys's office and he thought he had shut down the notion of you wanting to execute this plan or be any part of it but what if you had done just that and Viserys had caught you in the act?

What has he done to you after that?

A part of him knew you were somewhere in the building itself, it was as if he could sense you still and feel you around him, he knew he'd have to find you before it was too late. Later that afternoon he sat down on his bed and thought about you, the thought of you being in imminent danger was what helped him transform into his natural form, he was marveled by his ability to transform with such ease. All he had to do was think of you, he was starting to realise that the only reason he found his way to king's landing was not just due to his brother's supposed conspiracy but just so that he'd find you.

The sweet, serene peace to the raging maddening chaos inside of him, the calming, gentle rain to the fire that was consuming him every second of his life.

Since your room was sealed for the investigation he carefully stepped out of his window and climbed up until he had reached yours, the window was shut from inside and he had no choice but to break it. As he stepped inside the scent of you immediately engulfed him completely, his eyes welled up as it was in the moment that he felt the worst pain ever known to him, just the thought of never being able to see you or kiss you again was devastating.

As Daemon searched your room for any clues as to your whereabouts, he came up empty-handed. The cops must have already searched the place, but he was still holding out hope that he might find something, anything that would lead him to you. Just as he was about to fly out, a sudden realization dawned on him. He remembered the note that you had told him about, the one that Tanya had left under the mattress that nobody had looked for until you found it.

Quickly, he turned back around and flipped your mattress off the bed. To his relief, he found a piece of paper.

“Hey, Dragonbabe,

I'm leaving this for you here (Just in case) and hopefully you'd be the only one to look for it (in case I'm not there, though I'm sure I'd be the one tearing it apart as soon as I have returned with that book). I know you asked me to not do it, but I really think I can get it for you and I'm pretty sure that's where I'll find it. I have already found the duplicate keys and it would probably just take a minute.

All of my life I have been pretty selfish about my own needs, it's always been about what I wanted and desired, and I never really had this urge to do something for someone else but I really want to do this for you and I just want you to find the truth about yourself. If you're reading this it means I didn't make it back to my bedroom from his office and it sounds silly I know, it's not a horror movie, nothing is going to happen but you know. Just in case, you don't see me the next morning, you know where to begin looking for me.

Love, y/n”

Tears rolled down his cheeks as he finished reading the note, he could almost imagine hearing your voice as he read it.

“You daft precious girl” he sat down on the bed and placed his head between his palms as the gravity of the situation had finally settled in and he knew Viserys had something to do with your disappearance.

He could sense it, your presence in this building, that feeling was so strong but his senses could only help so much, he knew he couldn't rely on the coppers to do their job, he was going to find you before they could.

Later that evening he was called in for questioning that was being held in Dr. Lisa's office. Cole and Otto were waiting for him as he was escorted in by the guards and as soon as he entered both of them eyed him suspiciously.

“Why Is it that wherever you go people end up dying and disappearing?” Otto questioned him, making Daemon scoff in response.

“Did you find something? Where is she?” he answered the question with the question, Cole responded this time.

“That's none of your concern. So yesterday evening someone had seen y/n stepping out of your room. Her assigned time slot is 9 am in the morning, what was she doing there after her shift had ended?” Cole asked him and Daemon was surprised to say the least.

“If you're trying to pin this on me let me tell you something. There's nothing I want more than to find y/n” his voice raised due to the frustration that he was feeling so Otto glared at him.

“And why is that?” Otto asked, his eyebrows raised in suspicion.

“What do you mean, 'why is that?'" Daemon replied, his voice dropping low. “I've known y/n for months now, she's –” He paused as he caught sight of Cole's eerie misplaced smirk, that's when he realized that your friend Cole wasn't nearly as concerned about your disappearance as he should be.

“What are you doing to find her? She's your old friend, is she not?” Daemon turned his attention towards Cole, driving Otto’s attention to him as well.

“She's your friend? When were you going to tell me?” Otto cleared his throat as he questioned Cole.

Suddenly the young man was filled with nervousness and Daemon could tell Cole wasn't really the nice guy he was pretending to be..

“Not friends per say, last time we came here for Tanya's inquiry she told me that we were in 5th grade together or something like that. Pretty amusing that she remembered that. After much thinking i realized that she was that eccentric girl in class nobody spoke to”

Daemon's jaw clenched as Cole spoke so callously about you, he just couldn't decide whether it was the rejection you gave him which was making him spew this nonsense or something else.

After his questioning was done, Daemon was led to a different room, rather than 393. This room had no windows, and Viserys had given explicit instructions for a guard to be stationed outside his door to prevent him from leaving. Daemon couldn't sleep, knowing that you were trapped somewhere you couldn't get out of was gnawing at him, he knew he was losing time but as he laid down on the bed, his eyes drifted into a momentary dream state.

“Kiss me” you mumbled softly as you looked at him, he had you on his bed underneath him, a slip dress perfectly cladding every curve of your body and he was absolutely enchanted by the sight. He leaned down and cupped your cheeks to kiss you, your arms wrapped around his neck, his moans slipping into your mouth.

“Where did you go? I never thought I'd see you again” his eyes teared up as he spoke but there was a faint smile on your face as you rubbed your fingers over his cheeks to caress and comfort him..

“I'm right here sweet boy, you see me, you see me even when you don't” You spoke gently, but your voice sounded so distant to him. He snaked his arm around your waist and sat up on his knees taking you along with him, your legs curled around his waist, a gasp escaped him as he felt your hips grinding against his bulge.

“You're not scared of me?” He asked as you caressed his cheek, your fingers tracing the scales that ran from the sides of his cheeks and covered the rest of his naked body.

“Scared? Why would I be scared of you?” you let out a small giggle as if the notion of you feeling afraid of him was nothing but comical. He didn't understand that, why wouldn't you hate him when he looked like that?

“I'm a monster, look at me” he mumbled, his voice full of somberness so you gave him a haunting smile.

“I am looking at you and all I see is beauty and perfection”

His lips latched onto your neck as you praised him, fingers worked with the straps of your dress as he lowered them down to reveal your naked bosom, he buried his face between the warmth of your soft flesh but as he looked up instead of a pleased expression he found you looking scared and in pain instead.

“Daemon” you cried out his name, voice filled with fear “Help me.. please.. I'm here, I'm right here”

*******

As you regained consciousness again, you instinctively moved to check your arms and found that they were free of their binding somehow. Your body felt weak, but you knew you had to get out of there before he'd kill you how he possibly killed Tanya. Upon seeing the door just a few feet away, you ran towards it, twisting the knob with all the strength you could muster and it was open.

However as you stepped out, you found yourself standing in Viserys' office so you looked behind again and realized that there was a hidden chamber of sorts built in his office, hidden behind the huge creepy painting of the clowns. The chamber was completely obscured because the painting made the door seem as if it was part of the wall itself. “Sneaky bastard”

You muttered under your breath as you quickly rushed out of his office but you had barely gotten a foot away when you collided into someone. Much to your relief it was Cole.

“Oh god please help me” you pleaded with him, his eyes widened as he looked at your shaken form.

“Y/n.. where have you been? We have been looking all over for you..i was so scared that something awful had happened to you” you lost your balance so he grabbed you by the arms and you were grateful for it but your relief was short lived as he began to walk you back into Viserys's office.

“No not in there please.. he's the one who's doing this, he's the one who killed Tanya as well ..I swear to god we need to leave” you begged with him so he cupped your cheeks and made you look at him.

“Shhhh calm down y/n…i have a gun alright? He won't hurt us, you need to sit down my dear” he wrapped his hands around your shoulders and dragged you back to his office while you continued to protest.

“Please try to understand..he's going to come back anytime” you said to him but it was as if he wasn't even listening to your pleas. He made you sit down on the chair in his office but you couldn't stop crying in fear that Viserys would return.

And then you heard the footsteps so you clutched onto his arms as you cowered behind Cole. It was Viserys, he entered his office and stared at you both menacingly.

“Don't worry, y/n.. I'm right here okay?” Cole comforted you so you nodded but then he let go of your hands and walked towards Viserys with his gun pointed at him.

“Lock the door” Cole said to Viserys so Viserys immediately followed his command. “You bloody fool, she almost escaped” Cole said to him before he turned around and smiled as he looked at you but the smile only brought you to your knees as you felt doomed now.

It wasn't that Cole was someone important to you, you didn't even know him that well but the betrayal still hurt. The man who was supposed to protect you had no qualms about harming you, and for what? You didn't really understand his motives here.

“Y/n.. darling turn around and walk back into that hole where you came from” Cole said to you as he approached you but you shook your head so he cocked the gun to your head, the muzzle pressing into your skull and as brave as you wanted to be in that moment, dying such a death wasn't something you wished to happen to you.

Due to Cole's involvement in the matter you knew if you were dead nobody will ever be able to figure out what has happened to you, your body would be found in the woods someday. You'd be forgotten, just like Tanya was and nobody would find out what had gone down with you.

So instead of arguing with him you turned around with his gun still pinching the back of your head as you let out a soft whisper, wishing that somehow Daemon would be able to hear you.

“Daemon.. help me ..please..I'm here..im right here”

Cole shoved you back into the hidden dark compartment in Viserys's office and tied your hands with handcuffs this time around. You struggled a bit as he pulled out a syringe to pump you with drugs again but it was futile.

“You know if you had just gone out with me, I'd have protected you. I was nice and respectful to you, asked you out like a lady and what did I get in return?” Cole's words triggered the anger that had been building within you, and your voice wavered as the intensity of your feelings became more apparent.

“I'd rather die than let you touch me,” you said to him and that seemed to only incite him even more. He smiled for a moment before he leaned down to your level and slapped you, he then grabbed your hair in his fist and pulled harshly. The pain was almost too much, but you refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry. Instead, you stared at him, your eyes full of fury..

“Keep talking bitch, you're never getting out of here and I'm definitely going to fuck that cunt once everyone has forgotten all about your worthless arse”

Fear crept in every cell of your body as he threatened you with rape, this was a nightmare and you didn't know if you'd ever wake up again, nobody would go out of their way to look for you, except him, the only man who would find you now was Daemon.

As Cole turned around to leave you cleared your throat,

“You know what? In middle school kids didn't avoid you because you collected rocks, they avoided you because even as a child you were a nasty little weasel”

He charged towards you but then he heard a loud thudding sound coming from the office so he ran out of the chamber and left you behind in the dark space.

********

As Daemon opened the door of the room he was being kept in, the guard tried to stop him but Daemon immediately had him by the throat, he choked the guard until he was unconscious, albeit still alive, he didn't want to kill someone for doing their job.

When Daemon stood in the corridor, his mind drifted to you, and the thought of your scared little face being locked away somewhere filled him with a sense of urgency. He closed his eyes and felt a sharp, searing pain in his back, and his wings slowly unfurled, pain shooting through his body as the scales began to form. His fingers remained clasped tightly to the ledge as he transformed into his full glory.

The sound of whimpering broke through the quiet, and Daemon turned his head to see the guard still staring at him, wide-eyed and fear-stricken. The guard's hand reached for the stun gun so Daemon shook his head condescendingly.

“I wouldn't do that if I was you” he warned the guard, his red, glowing eyes narrowing. The guard stopped in his tracks and slowly took his hand away from the stun gun, his eyes still locked on the mystery unfolding in front of him. After what this poor sap had to witness, Daemon was assured he'd need to admit himself to this very place.

As he reached Viserys's office he stormed inside and he could smell your scent but you weren't in there ofcourse, nor was Viserys but the presence of your scent was so strong, it was as if you had been here not that long ago.

He sniffed deeply to follow the trail and it seemed to have faded around the creepy painting Viserys had hung behind his desk, but something didn't seem right. Something –

In a flick of his wrist he had the painting slashed into half and he saw the door leading into the dark, dimly lit chamber. The opening was narrow so he coiled his wings to fit through.

As he went deeper he immediately found you collapsed on the ground..

“Y/n--” Daemon whispered as he checked your pulse , relief flooding through him as he felt your heart still beating in your chest. He broke the cuffs from your wrists, it didn't really require much force from the man of his caliber, then lifted you into his arms, carrying you like royalty, and walked back into his office to lay you down on the desk.

“Y/n ..darling wake up” he called out to you but then heard footsteps approaching the room and knew he had to act quickly. Without hesitation, he broke the window by using his wings, picked you up bridal style, and flew to the roof of the building with you in his arms.

A part of him wanted to destroy Viserys for what he had done to you but his main concern was your safety at this point. He was worried about you, you were alive but he didn't know what he had done to you, he just wanted you wake up and look at him once,

As he put you down on your feet, one of his hands wrapped around the back of your neck for support while he held you by the waist with the other.

“Y/n darling wake up please..I'm begging you” he whispered again, his voice gentle but filled with urgency, he kissed your cheek and it might have been his utter desperation to have you look at him but your eyes soon fluttered open, slowly at first but then as you looked at him properly they widened in shock and a sense of bewilderment.

“Daemon??’ you muttered his name him so he nodded.

He truly was who he said he was all along, you had believed his words but watching him like this was nothing short of a miracle for you, a part of you still couldn't wrap your head around it. How was this even possible, physically, scientifically, molecularly?

You brought your fingers up and caressed the scales on his face, the wind blew his hair all over, he looked magnificent and you were in awe of the sheer glory of the man standing in front of you, perhaps the sight would have scared you if it was a stranger but it was Daemon, your Daemon , he had looked for you, he had come for you..

“Godddd..you are…you are” you stuttered on your words and his eyes teared up with the overwhelming emotions he was feeling at the moment “You are beautiful..oh god you are beautiful” you gave him a small smile as you whispered softly. He then bundled his wings and wrapped it around your body, cocooning you in his safety and warmth.

“Daemon..it's Viserys and Cole-” you tried to warn him but he placed his thumb on your lips, he wasn't surprised that Cole was involved in this.

“I know..I am going to take you away okay?” he assured you but you shook your head in response.

“No, we need the book.. and there's something in his desk I saw it, we need that too” you argued with him but he wasn't having any of it at the moment. He had the worst possible day of his life today and all he needed in that moment was to protect you and keep you away from these men that wanted to harm you.

“Shhh I'll come back for it sweetheart..i promise yeah?” he mumbled softly but your eyes welled up.

“No they'd hurt you, you can never come back here”

“I know..shhh they are coming, hold onto me tightly alright my love?”

You nodded as he whispered in your ear before he pecked on your lips tenderly.

He then picked you up in his arms, you placed your head between the crook of his neck as if to hide from the eyes of Viserys and Cole, his wings stretched out again ready to take off.

Viserys then came running along with Cole who was terrified to say the least, the sight of Daemon’s inhumane animalistic form made him recoil and he ran back out the way he had stormed in. Daemon's eyes met with his older brother for a brief moment, all he felt in that moment was betrayal and confusion. He knew Viserys always thought of him as deeply disturbed but knowing that he was the reason why Daemon never could figure out himself was heartbreaking, his own brother was out to get him since he was a child and the thought shattered him.

Without a word from either side Daemon flew you away from the treacherous atmosphere of King's landing.

You must have passed out again amidst it because you didn't remember the journey, the next time you woke up, you were lying on a soft comfy bed, there was a comfortable warmth and orange hue in the room attributed by the fireplace in front of you, as you sat up you noticed you had a shirt on your body that probably belonged to him. The sound of the rain pattering outside was soothing.

As you looked to the right side you spotted Daemon sitting on the chair in front of the desk, he was reading with his back to you.

“Daemon?” You called out his name so he immediately turned around and got up from the chair to reach closer to you

“Hey” he mumbled softly as he climbed the bed and cupped your cheeks “You gave me a scare, don't ever do that and don't ever try to help me again” he mumbled softly but his voice was equally stern so you got up on your knees and wrapped your arms around his neck to kiss him. Perhaps it was the terrifying situation you had been in just a few hours ago but all you needed in this moment was him, you just wanted to wrap yourself around him and feel safe in his warm strong arms.

As the kiss heated up he laid you down slowly on the bed, his lips never left yours, he grabbed your chin between his fingers and used his thumb to pry open your jaw before his tongue slipped inside, a ragged moan spilled into your mouth.

“Where are we?” You whispered softly so he pulled away to look at you.

“A cabin outside the city, it's mine” you looked around as he said that.

“What if they find us here?”

“He doesn't know about it” you nodded as he said that. His long wet hair, smelled like rain so you scratched his scalp with your fingers.

“And how did I get in your shirt?” you smiled mischievously, making him smile too in response.

“I had my eyes closed i promise”

“I believe you” you said as you rubbed his lips so he kissed the pad of your thumb. The smile on his face faded as he thought about the hours you had spent in the captivity.

“What did they do to you? I want to know everything”

“Mmm why? So you could go back and hurt them?”

“Yes. Exactly” you sighed as he said that. He had hurt those guards for making a joke about you so you could only imagine what he wanted to do to Viserys and Cole, especially the latter, he didn't like that man even before he had put his hand on you.

“Well Viserys found me snooping in his office that night, i found the book but i found something else too” you said to him, making his brows crinkle in intrigue.

“What did you find?” you gulped as he asked you, not knowing how to phrase your words.

“Pictures of you, as a baby”

“There are no such pictures of me darling” he chuckled but then he realised he had been a fool all his life, trusting Viserys's words as truth even though he could always tell that his brother was never an honest man.

“I saw them, you in your crib as a baby and pictures of you with your mother and father as they held you, they looked so happy”

His eyes teared up as you said that so he sat up on his knees to process your words, he had never known his parents or what they were like. All he knew was the fact that his father had left them when Daemon was born and his mother passed away when he was barely 4.

Grabbing his forearms you gently ran your fingers over his skin to comfort him,

“What did..what did I look like?” he asked you so you scooted closer to him.

“Adorable, you were adorable.. but different”

“Different?” He asked like a child, the look of wonderment on his face was tugging at your heart, so you held his cheeks to kiss his forehead.

“You had scales on your body and red eyes, tiny angel wings on your back” his eyes flickered as you said that, you could see the wheels turning in his head, he was born this way, it wasn't something he had become, he was meant to be this and his parents knew, they looked happy in those pictures so they knew, they loved him and accepted him as who he was..

“He lied about everything, he never wanted me to find out..did he?” he spoke so you nodded in response.

“That book has everything you need to know about yourself daemon, it's not just some lore written by a mythology writer, it's history about you, your family, your ancestors” he placed his forehead down on yours as you said that, his mind refusing to come with terms with the revelation.

“What if I won't enjoy whatever I'm going to find in that book?” he asked you so you sighed.

“Then we can forget about it and pretend as if nothing had happened..but you need to go back and find out the truth. Viserys is hurting people, he's hurting women, nobody is safe there, we need to figure out why he's doing that and Caroline is still there” his eyes widened as you said that.

“Caroline..oh god..i left her there, I'm fucking awful as a friend”

“I'm sure they're not going to hurt her after the ruckus today but yeah you should get her somewhere safe soon especially if Viserys is already onto her” you said softly so he gave you a smile and cupped your cheeks to kiss you.

“You must be starving darling”

“Now that you have said it..yess”

“Well let me cook for you then” you smiled as he said that. When you had met him the first he just seemed angry and delusional, but now the truth about him had changed the world as how you knew of it. You wondered how plenty of the other myths in the universe might not just be myths afterall.

“Alright” you said to him so he smiled but then his expressions turned serious again.

“Hey?” you hummed as he made you look at him.

“Tell me ..did my brother or that motherfucker Cole hurt you? I see the mark on your cheek”

“Well I was threatened but luckily you found me before anything else could happen so that is all that happened..Okay calm down?” you whispered, sensually, almost seductively as you kissed his clenched jaw, he couldn't help but smile at the gesture.

“Okay, now you stay here like a good girl and I'll fix something for you, I bought groceries while you were taking your nap”

“You're so cute” he rolled his eyes as you said that.

“Shut up princess”

He got off the bed and you wanted to follow him too but your body felt weak and battered so you just laid down instead.

You felt at peace in the moment but deep down you knew your life won't stay that way, this moment was just a calm before the storm, you had chosen to get yourself involved with a man who was nothing more than a fairytale for this world.

Daemon finding that book would not only change his life but would also change the course of your relationship with him. None of you knew that though, not yet.

And ignorance? Well it truly was your bliss at the moment.

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

Taglist

@anukulee @ammo23 @littledark11 @stupidthoughtsinwriting @daenny-t @avalyaaa @shuichiakainx

[loriannbowman]

Honkai Star Rail X Arknights | Yandere!Sunday X Sankta!Reader | Part Six

You purse your lips with confusion. Sunday was acting strange... or maybe not? You don't actually know him as you had only just met him, but you can't help but feel uneasy with his flittery movements. He's on edge, you seen that look thousands of times, you couldn't mistake it for anything else.

You hum slightly, lips pressed into a firm line.

"Mr. Sunday? Are you sure everything is alright?"

Sunday's attention refocuses on you. He gives a wobbly smile. His body feels like it's buzzing. His gloved hands tremble and his fingers twitch.

"Of course," he says, trying his best to sooth himself, "I'm fine, just a bit excited, that's all."

"Excited?"

Sunday hums.

"Yes, I'm excited to show you around more of Penacony."

You quirk a brow.

"What do you mean? Before, it sounded like you were going to kick me out!" you say with a nervous chuckle.

"Kick you out? We don't have such ways of doing that unless your body is within the Reverie, which it's not, might I remind you, my little stow away."

You gawk at his words, shocked by the sudden playfulness Sunday was sharing with you.

"Uh huh..." you say with a tilt of your head, "right. Got it... Actually, on the topic of getting kicked, how would I leave this place?"

Sunday's expression flattens, almost threatening.

"Well, there are two ways. First, you simply wake up, many people wake up by themselves naturally or by force."

You lean forwards.

"And the second...?"

"You die."

Your eyes widen to the size of saucers. All parts of you go on high alert, the same feeling you get when ready to proceed in combat.

"Die?!" you exclaim.

Sunday quickly covers your mouth, his gloves getting slightly wet from your partly opened lips.

What soft lips... I wish I could kiss them.

"Shh! You mustn't say things so loudly, you'll cause panic! Let me explain. One cannot really die in a dream, right? When you hit the ground after a fall, or get hurt by a weapon, the body forces itself to wake up by jumpstarting itself. We do not speak of "death" in the dreamscape, lest the people run into disorder."

Your eyes slowly close back to their normal size as your brain begins to process the information. What he says is mostly true. When hit with a sort of trauma, the human body's natural system is to jolt awake with adrenaline as the brain thinks you're going to die.

But death is possible in dreams, it's just not common.

Sunday slowly removes his slender fingers from your mouth, fiddling with them with his thumb. You pop your lips slightly, trying to shake away the foreign feeling away.

Carefully, Sunday brings his hands to his lips in a thinking gesture. He presses the fabric that touched your lips against his.

An indirect kiss is still a kiss... but I want a real one.

"Anyway, those are the ways in which you can force yourself awake. But those are crude and can cause quiet a disturbance in the peace. There's no reason to force yourself awake, right? You'll wake up on your own, so why not enjoy the atmosphere while you're here? Who knows if you'll ever get a chance to visit again, right?"

You purse your lips once again, debating on what to do. Sunday's offer sounds tempting, and he's right about you ever coming back. But there are people back home who need treatments, protection, a person to talk to... Even though you've only been here for a short while, you can't help but feel home sick.

"Doctor Loriann might just kill me..." you mutter to yourself, "but a little longer won't hurt, right?"

[itsjustaninchident]

Hi

Could you do a imagine where the reader struggles with body dysmorphia with Charles or Arthur. Just him being there for her and comforting her. Maybe how he finds out

Charles Leclerc x Fem!Reader

summary: negative thoughts aren't supposed to be crowding your brain when you're going on a date and Charles is here to help with that.

warning/s: body dysmorphia, anxiety, low self-esteem, mentions of bullying, just nasty hater stuff, angst but fluff in the end, reader is very insecure, slight eating disorder (?), quite bad relationship with food

author's note: I am not very much educated on this topic but I did my research so I can somehow give justice to writing this and please always remember you're beautiful being you! Others' opinion of yourself does not matter, at the end of the day your opinion of yourself will always be more important and I hope if you're going through this you'll get the peace you deserve with your body! Slow steps still progress. 🤍 Please if I wrote something wrong in this kindly call me out. Sorry if it's long overdue I wasn't in my best state these days.

It was a slow Sunday morning for you and Charles. It was one of the free days Charles was away from the chaos of Formula 1 and he couldn't contain the excitement of getting you out on a date. Even though you always try your best to be with him when he's racing in other countries, nothing will still compare to days where he gets to spend it with you and you only.

You were both laying in bed too lazy to start the morning but the both of you knew you need to be prepared because of the long day ahead. Charles prepared a whole day of itinerary for you both in the beautiful city of Florence, it's your first time to be in this city and you couldn't contain your excitement.

Charles was nuzzling his nose to your hair seemingly content of just smelling your strawberry-scented hair for the day and he can't help himself but sigh with the feeling of you just relaxing with him. "I wish we can get to spend mornings like this everyday, mon angé." He tightened his grip on your waist, your back facing him but you can feel his smile as he basked in the morning glow in your hotel room. You can't help but agree to what he said, all the fancy restaurants, the expensive things, and places you can't even pronounce cannot compare to what you both are experiencing right now.

Moments like this are better than anything expensive in the world. Your heart fluttered of imagining ahead a morning with Charles where you don't get to spend one away from him. Just the raw morning greetings, the glow of sunshine cascading both of you as you try to get up and do the most mundane things yet you wouldn't trade it for anything extraordinary or expensive in this world.

"We should get up, I thought you have a full day for us to spend?" You faced him smiling, while he renewed his embrace not wanting to let you go. He smiled at the sight of your face, "You're so beautiful, good morning love." He muttered and kissed your forehead. You blushed, he has probably told you you're beautiful countless of times already but he never fails to release the butterflies in your stomach and make you flustered. "Well, you're gorgeous too." You said to him which earned you a blush as well. He buried his face into your neck seemingly shy from the earned reaction. You can't help but chuckle you wish you can capture this moment forever.

"As much as I want spending my mornings like this, I think we're gonna be late to whatever you planned for today, Charles." You said a-matter-of-fact. You started moving from his grip which he let out a groan of protest. "Get up, love. I'm hungry." You're not. In fact, you're planning on not eating at all for today. The statement made Charles get up from bed, he looks really glorious in the morning but well you can't stay in bed all day when there's a whole new place you wanted to explore waiting for you.

"Okay, then let's get ready. I'll get us pastries before we go. Maybe you can get ready while I'm out?" He offered, you just nodded already busy with planning your outfit as he kissed your forehead before storming off.

You got in the bathroom and did all your ritual. It wasn't long when you're out of the bathroom and started trying out the outfits you picked, not decided which you will wear so you decided to try everything on. The first outfit however, ruined your mood. You put on the pants but as you look at yourself in the mirror you weren't really satisfied with how you look. It was a nightmare really, all the negative thoughts coming in your head one by one as if to knock you all over, crashing the beautiful state you woke up to a while ago. You were not pleased, you hate yourself. You hate how you look, you hate the reflection.

It didn't help that you also saw those nasty comments from "fans" on your latest instagram post. All of the comments on your body, your weight, and your overall appearance. It all took a toll on you. Suddenly all the energy the sleep gave you was drained because of everything. You feel really exhausted just thinking about going out tonight and people seeing you in what seem like a very insecure day for you. You removed the pants and got back to your pyjamas, you're not one to sulk all day when a negative thing occur to you but today is not one of those days.

It seems like everything just came down pouring on you and drowning you from everything. You decided to just lay in bed, negative thoughts clouding your mind. Why are you not as perfect as the other girls you see on instagram? Why can't you be them instead? Why are you so ugly and unfit? Why did Charles even choose to be with you?

All those thoughts were disrupted when you heard the door click open. Your boyfriend entered with a big smile on his face. Seemingly, trying to tell you a story of what went when he bought you guys food. But he stopped talking as long as he saw your state.

He put everything he's holding on to the table, immediately walking up towards you. He's so worried upon seeing you, crying, your makeup ruined, hair still damp, in your pyjamas. He's never seen you in this state before. You guys started dating for a few years now but everytime you have a mental breakdown or an episode like this you try your best to hide it from anyone, even Charles. He kneeled in front of you, started wiping your tearstained cheeks, worry ever present in his eyes, he started fixing the hair covering your forehead. "Can you please sit up for me love?" He uttered gently, he doesn't know what's happening or why you're crying but he just knows you would open up to him when you're ready so for now he's doing his best to calm you down. It hurts to see you like this, fragile and small as if his heart is being pierced through by knives and torn into pieces.

He handed you the water once your sat up straight and facing him. He waited for your sobs to calm down and when you're quite calm he hugged you so tight. So tight that you can also feel your heart tightening. Warmth spreading through you, he didn't even say anything but it made you feel a little bit better. "You wanna lay down?" He asked now facing you. You nodded, you settled down and faced sideways. You feel a little ashamed now, realizing what happened and what he saw. But Charles didn't mind you facing your back from him instead he was spooning you, his arms secured slightly on your waist not wanting to let you go. He was kissing your head as he lightly caress your arm trying to bring you comfort.

"Is everything okay?" He attempted to ask you now wanting to know what's bothering you and how he can help you.

You were hesitant to tell him, no one in your life knows you're going through this. Plus the both of you never talked about anything related to this. But something in you is telling you that you should let him know to at least let out your burden, lighten what you're feeling, and overall just to be honest with him. This is a hard topic to open to anyone, especially to your boyfriend. You don't really know how he will react with it. Will this make it worse? Erasing all the doubts, you started formulating how you will tell him.

"I don't feel good about myself, Cha. I'm so unattractive, it's like I spend numerous amounts of time to look good but in the end I don't feel a tad bit of satisfaction with myself. It's so hard to look good at least. My body's not attractive and I feel like I'm not even doing enough to look good. It's like everything is just not right with me. I'm so tired of trying to look pretty and just fall through in the end whenever I look in the mirror. I hate my reflection and I hate myself for it. I can't help it." Tears started pouring out of your eyes once again, you feel Charles' embrace tightening once more. The little kisses stopped and you could hear his slow breaths. It felt good to let that all out but those lingering negative thoughts will never leave you still.

Charles wishes he can share your pain to at least ease what you're feeling. He didn't know you were feeling this way about yourself because if you would ask him who's the most attractive person he's ever seen the answer will always be you and he would never think in a heartbeat to say your name. If it's only possible for you to borrow his eyes and see yourself from his perspective maybe you would think otherwise, maybe your bad thoughts will disappear. "I love you, mon amour. I wish you could see yourself the way I do. I wish you knew how attractive you are. You're the person I want to see first the moment I wake up and the last person I want to see before I sleep. You're beautiful, you're gorgeous and I will run out of compliments to tell you just to let you know how attractive you are. And that's just even the bonus point because you're also kind, precious, you never forget to worry for anybody, you are so smart and you're my everything. You could wear anything or none at all–" You slapped him slightly making him and you chuckle the tense atmosphere slowly disappearing.

"And you would always look good. You can wear the most expensive makeup product or not wear any makeup at all and I would always feel like you're a goddess and how am I even so lucky to get you in my life? And that's not even all that you got, I was so fascinated by you not because of your physical appearance but because of what's inside your heart. I will never get tired of telling you how pretty you are whenever you feel like you're not. The world does not deserve someone like you."

You held your breath upon hearing his words. You can't help but shed tears again, this time because of love. You don't even know if it's possible for anyone to feel this much love in their heart that it feels like it's about to burst, little did you know Charles feels the same way.

You turned around and face him. And you can't help but smile as he renewed his embrace. "I love you, Charles." You muttered earning a smile from him. "I love you more, mon amour. You're the greatest thing that's ever happened to me." You buried your face into his neck as he tightened his embrace to you. "Maybe we could still have our date here, hmm? What do you think about watching your favorite movie and ordering your favorite food?" He offered, as he's slightly caressing your back. You nodded, you felt hungry after crying that much, the negative thoughts lingering at the back of your mind still but with Charles by your side you feel more at ease and ready to take slow steps to find peace with yourself.

While you guys were watching your favorite movie Charles suggested that maybe you should try and seek help from a psychiatrist. You took his word and nodded, once you're back in Monaco you will find time to get professional help. "I don't know what I would do without you." You said to him. "I think I should be the one saying that." As he kissed you while your worries slowly fades away.