#we are all different there is no such thing as *real life autism* that *actually looks like this no really believe us!!*

[earthytzipi]

I mean, yes, this is an experience a lot of autistic people have (myself included, speaking solely about the tags in the reblog above) but can we stop saying that "autism in real life" is supposedly being able to analyze social cues better than allistics? or that "autism in real life" is being hyperverbal or high empathy or deeply in touch with your emotions?

listen. I'm not saying that those aren't really autistic experiences, but I am saying that your experience is not universal, especially if your masking is so highly developed that nobody ever knows until you tell them and then they don't believe you at first. it's not fair for you to erase the autistics for whom none of the above is true.

(as an aside, i also don't *love* the implication in this post that if you are confident in yourself -read: if you don't mask or if your mask is imperfect- you aren't *realistically* autistic... like. hello? some of us don't mask or don't mask well! even at my most insecure, I've gotten the comment from people who don't know me well that I'm "so confident and so willing to be different" when I literally could not be any other way. please don't try to minimize us in our own community.)

[drchucktingle]

As an autistic person, did you struggle to make and keep friends? And have you found friends through the writing world? I ask because my mom always said i needed to find my people. I did finally find them (they are neurodiverse trans nerds, haha), but not until i was like 30. And i wonder if its true of other autistic people too. So i guess my question is: did you find your people, and when?

thank you this is good question. i have always had a LOT of CLOSE BUDS even from a very young age. i would actually say that i am unusually socially adept in my way and that it is partially BECAUSE of my autistic trot. LETS TALK ON THAT FOR A MOMENT

'BUT CHUCK YOU SAID YOU ARE ON THE SPECTRUM AND AUTISTIC BUCKAROOS CANNOT BE SOCIALLY ADEPT' some say. and sure it is UNUSUAL overall, technically speaking, but there is also an important reason we talk about this as a spectrum of buckaroos and not a monolith

when buckaroos ask me what it is like to be autistic i try to explain like this: there are certain cues and markers from the outside that serve as a sort of identification checklist but because of masking they are not always correct. instead i see it as question of WHAT IS IT LIKE INSIDE YOUR BRAIN?

internally my brain is different. its taking in way more information all the time, including the stuff that neurotypical buds block out, and that can become overwhelming. it is hard to navigate because i do not have that automatic neurotypical 'here is what is important here is what is not' function

so yes i can be easily distracted and zone out as i watch the patterns and fractals spin off. and yes i can miss certain things in social situations. in many autistic buckaroos this makes large groups overwhelming and the OUTPUT of behavior matches what we typically know as signs of autism

FOR ME however, same thing is going on inside, but i have managed to HARNESS that information. even from very young age i see that everyone is DOING THE HUMAN ACT but instead of rejecting that and shutting off i think 'well okay i am just going to do THIS because thats what they actually want'

in other words, most neurotypical buds say one thing that has a kind of spiraling social-cue-related OTHER MEETING (they do this ALL the time) and instead of rejecting that i have trained myself to be REALLY REALLY good at knowing the hidden meaning. it is EMPATHY but on a sort of LOGIC BASED level

and because i have always been pretty good at that, people like to trot around me and say 'wow this is a good friend they understand me'. now for ME that can be a little exhausting and there are things i need to do and stims and all that to release the effort, but overall it is worth it to me

OTHER THING is that i was a successful CREATOR AND ARTIST BUCKAROO from an early age which is socially seen as 'cool' especially when you are trotting around in your youth. it is not particularly FAIR but it is true that some level of fame makes buds treat you well even if you are 'weird'.

of course it can be a sort of FAKE 'treating you well' but as an autistic buckaroo it is still more of a chance than you might otherwise get. this timeline has sort of carved out a very special little sliver of social grace for the token odd artistic weirdo to have a seat at each cool kids table

ANYWAY that is the trot of my life. it is a unique trot that i dont get to talk on much but since you asked THERE YOU GO. every chance i get to say 'I LOVE BEING AUTISTIC' and talk on HOW MUCH IT HAS IMPROVED MY LIFE i try to take a moment and do that. when i was young i had few autistic heroes

and OF COURSE it can be difficult and overwhelming and we need to have space for those stories and voices, but i want young buckaroos who get this diagnosis to know there are ALL KINDS of stories and trots on the autism spectrum. MINE IS PRETTY DANG COOL and maybe yours will be too. LOVE IS REAL

[cripplecharacters]

Writing Characters With "Anger Issues"

[Plain text: Writing characters with "anger issues."]

Number one, please stop saying anger issues. Anger issues does not mean anything. It's not a medical term, not a diagnosis, and not even a term that will substitute emotional outbursts, emotional dysregulation, or anger attacks. "Anger issues" can mean anything, it's not always indicative of a disability.

Emotional outbursts, emotional dysregulation, and anger attacks are also only symptoms, symptoms that can appear in a large range of impulse, conduct, mood, and emotional or emotion-impacting disborders. This long list includes (but is not limited to;)

Intermittent Explosive Disorder

Episodic Dyscontrol Syndrome (differential diagnosis for IED)

Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder

Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder

Autism spectrum disorders (keep in mind that this source is kind of bare-bones)

Bipolar Disorder

Borderline Personality Disorder

Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders

Frontal Lobe Disorder

Again, these are only a few of the many, many disorders that can cause emotional dysregulation. Each one is very different and highly varied in causes, presentation, severity, and other symptoms. I couldn't possibly get into all of them in one post. The following disorders will be getting their own posts on specifics about the disorder and how I would like to see it represented in media;

Intermittent Explosive Disorder

Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder

Frontal Lobe Disorder

But, in general, what would I like to see more in characters with emotional dysregulation?

An actual diagnosis. Not just "anger issues" or "bad temper," but "This character has Intermittent Explosive Disorder" or "This character has Frontal Lobe Disorder."

Episodes and outbursts not being played for laughs. They're extremely embarrassing and can have a major impact on our lives. We can lose relationships, be fired from jobs, be expelled from schools, or even wind up in handcuffs and prison over our outbursts and that's no laughing matter.

The other symptoms that come with an anger attack! These can include shaking, racing heart, chest tightness- like an anxiety attack. We get very similar physical symptoms.

Characters being held responsible for what they do when they have an outburst. Look, anger attack or not, we're responsible for paying for something if we break it. If we hit someone, that's still never okay. Just because we did it during an anger attack doesn't mean we get a free pass.

At the same time, characters not being demonized for having emotional dysregulation episodes. We are still just people. We have emotional outbursts, but that doesn't make us monsters unless we choose to be.

Coping mechanisms! People with emotional dysregulation do use coping mechanisms to try and regulate our emotions before we lose control. I've noticed that a combination of both anger coping mechanisms (counting down from ten, counting to ten in Spanish, etc) and anxiety coping mechanisms (five things I can see, four things I can hear, etc) can help before an anger attack or as it's winding down.

Characters with these symptoms who are people, not just their emotional dysregulation.

Scenes that actually portray how horrible having one of these episodes feels. They're terrifying, they're overwhelming, they're stressful, they are the character at the end of their rope. Portray that. I want scenes like when a character gets so stressed and overwhelmed that they start throwing stuff or swiping everything off the desk or yanking books off of shelves, scenes that get that kind of sympathy and serious nature.

Things I would like to see less of

The abusive partner. Yeah, abusive partners can sometimes have a pattern of getting really angry, but when their freakouts look exactly like my anger attacks it perpetuates a stigma that affects me and people like me in real life.

Really, I'd like to stop seeing episodes that look exactly like mine being assigned to antagonist characters just to make them seem like a terrible person.

Episodes being played for laughs or secondhand embarrassment. If you're writing Fred Duke's anger episodes from his first episode appearance in X Men Evolution, where every episode was played up to humiliate him, please stop.

Closing Thoughts

Anger issues and bad temper are not a valid diagnosis, I can't help you until I know the diagnosis you mean to portray. And please, please, please do research on what these disorders actually are and how they impact us. I am begging you.

Mod Aaron

[triaelf9]

Just a lil post about Taash and how I'm feeling about how ppl are reacting to them as someone who relates to them very strongly not only on the gender journey front, but also on the mom-issues front.

Cut for length b/c of course this won't actually be a "little" post lol

So I hear a lot of "Taash is too young" "Taash acts like a child" "Taash is too brash" "Taash has wildly binary views of the world" "Taash is thinks their reality is the world's reality" etc etc etc

And I'm here to say that as someone who realized that non-binary was a thing later in life, grew up trying to be them, but society was not only unwelcoming to that, but openly hostile at points, with a mom who had totally different interests, who very much wanted to protect them from the outside world to a point where it left them unprepared to deal with nuances of the world, etc, a mom who thought they were "just doing their best" but was never meant to be a mom, and never wanted to be a mom, didn't have the tools for mom-hood, who wanted to protect their child, but had no real idea how, and how every comment turned into the mom trying to steer her kid the right way, but just came out as a dig or a "you're not good enough" remark, AND looking after your mom in a world that is wholly unsuited to her, that she can't really adapt to and fit into, and kinda becoming her mom to a point so that your life completely revolves around her until you leave home?

Yeah. I get Taash. It's actually kinda freaky how, fantasy elements aside, I get Taash on a frightening level. (aside from the dragon stuff, we're both the same with that HELL YEAH DRAGONS)

Taash doesn't read young to me because I've always read young because of how I was raised. I didn't get the chance to figure myself out until I left home. I also had the benefit of being able to leave for college at a younger age, and got a chance to experience things away from my mom earlier. But seeing things in such a binary way, that's how it is when you're protected like that.

You don't want to admit how similar you are to how your mom sees the world, b/c she sees it in one way, and as you go through life, you get to learn differently. You come out of this situation INCREDIBLY judgmental at first. Why aren't THESE things conforming to MY reality. You come across as brash and childish. And when you get treated as such, it's triggering b/c that's how your mom treats you.

You hate how you look, you think you look like a freak b/c your mom is constantly commenting on your appearance. She does it out of love (she wants you to be healthy & not mocked by your peers) but she doesn't consider that constantly telling you not to look a certain way does damage. My self confidence only recovered in my thirties. I'm 4 days from my 38th birthday, and it took getting pregnant to finally be like "you know what, I don't hate myself & my body" which is MASSIVE for me.

So where do we get our self confidence? In things we enjoy, in hyperfocuses that we're good at. For me that's comics, naginata, fantasy & DA lore lol XD For Taash it's dragons, fighting, and working out. And when we falter there, it's devastating b/c it's the only way we can feel good about ourselves b/c our SELVES are disconnected and tucked away b/c they make us feel bad.

So I totally get how Taash reads to people. The autism aspects are more like my wife (who is autistic & has issues with social cues, while I'm HYPER AWARE of social stuff which fuels my anxiety b/c of the type of person my mom was and how I had to look after her), but I get it.

But it makes me sad when I hear people dunk on Taash as "bad writing" and "unrealistic" and "annoying" and it's like...is that how you see people like that? Is that how you see me and people like my wife? I feel like people aren't willing to look deeper so often (an issue with all the companions tbh & some day I'll have to get into my Davrin feels b/c BOY do I have them. Neve too, WHOOF) but I feel like if you do that in a game, I hope you don't do that irl.

anyway TLDR this is a Taash defense post b/c while they have a lot of issues, stuff they need to work out & have wrong opinions on stuff, they're growing, they're learning & they have to do it later than most. They're an incredibly complicated character with tons of nuance, and I can't wait to get deeper into their story and banter with companions in round 2 of my playthroughs, and then again in round 3

Sorry this is too long, and I'm sure not all of this was intended when they were written, but this is how it all clicked with me as someone who has lived a large portion of that stuff. Like, again, I'm nearly fucking FOURTY and I don't feel like I should be there yet b/c I started so far back. It ALSO doesn't help that ADHD wild child I was, I was held back in preschool b/c neurodivergence also makes a kid read younger, AND the choice to have me be the youngest in the class would have been a very bad one. So I'm older than most of my peers BUT I've always read younger, felt younger, and have had a sore spot when it comes to all that.

Thank you for coming to my Taash Talk, I'll be here all week to think about more stuff, including how their body makes them read as lady, and they're not sure how to feel about that, but they don't want to CHANGE it, but is it right?

ANYWHO this is why Taash is a fascinating character & deserves better than to be regulated to "annoying kid"

[bleue-flora]

[original post]

@marshymashers hope it's okay to respond to you in a post, my answer was getting too long, so here we are. :)

First off, Tubbo isn't autistic. He has stated on multiple occasions [clip] [clip] that he isn't and it is none of our business to question him or diagnose him. That is incredibly disrespectful to Tubbo and anyone actually diagnosed with autism. He has stated that all the way back in 2022 that he is not, so please refrain from going around diagnosing people in real life and spreading false information. It is none of our business what diagnosis someone does or does not have unless they want to come forward and tell us.

Yes, Tubbo is dyslexic, as am I, which does mean he is neurodivergent, however dyslexia and autism are not the same.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH): "Autism spectrum disorder is a neurological and developmental disorder that affects how people interact with others, communicate, learn, and behave." [link]

According to the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NIH): "Some of the most common learning disabilities are the following: Dyslexia. People with dyslexia have problems with reading words accurately and with ease (sometimes called “fluency”) and may have a hard time spelling, understanding sentences, and recognizing words they already know." [link]

In my post, notice I am not talking about neurodivergence as a whole, but specifically autism and the effect it has on communication and behavior. I also did not and have not said that autism excuses behavior nor is any type of shield to be used to paint Dream as innocent. Again, my point here was not about the wrongdoings, but about the communication I have seen over the past few days that speaks to a pattern that I have experienced over and over for 20 years that only after my diagnosis and people willing to hear me out as a result has subsided. I am talking about a 3 hour stream where Tubbo and Dream repeated the same things to each other over and over and couldn't seem to understand each other no matter how many times they said it. That is what I am talking about. Because I believe not that autism should be used as a shield but as a lens to view the situation more clearly.

All I'm saying is if people went into the discussion with the mindset that this could be a moment of autism misunderstanding not malicious or manipulative intent, then it would be more productive. Instead over and over the assumption is that Dream has ill intent so everything that is rumored and hinted at or said is viewed under that lens.

For example, it is a very common characteristic of an autistic person (or person with adhd) to mix up names. So, on one hand, people could see Dream calling Tubbo "Tommy" multiple times in that stream as Dream not seeing them as separate people and only seeing Tubbo as Tommy's best friend, and using Tubbo as a way to talk to Tommy, or whatever. But in reality, I can say with absolute certainty that Dream just screwed up the names on accident, as is common place for autistic people. There was no ill intent behind it in the slightest, it was simply an accident. That's all. Do you see the difference? By constantly viewing Dream under a lens of malicious intention we are mistaking what could just be a more innocent moment of autistic difference for wrongdoing. And all I'm saying is that until people give Dream the benefit of the doubt or grace that it could be an autism miscommunication, things will never resolve or change.

And yes, execution is at the end of the day the result and it doesn't matter whether you meant to hurt someone or not, you still did. But knowing intention is the difference between Dream being an imperfect autistic guy versus a movie villain. And whether rumors about him should be taken at face value to be true or whether we should give Dream the benefit of the doubt first.

In addition, if we don't take into consideration that Dream sees a situation differently because he's autistic and therefore an explanation of his wrongdoing may not make sense to him, then we are going to just assume he isn't taking accountabilty when in fact, he really just doesn't understand. In the same way, that Tubbo doesn't understand his reasoning.

For example, with the perception that Dream and his friends are misongynistic and sexist:

Tubbo's reasoning:

there are multiple accusations you haven't refuted of you calling a woman a whore + you singled out Aimsey and Hannahrose in your stream + you disrespected Caiti in that situation by getting involved and sending hateful fans after her + downplayed your involvement and the situation's point by not including it in your vid => you are sexist and misongynistic and need to clean up your act with how you treat woman.

Dream's reasoning:

there are multiple accusations you don't refute of you calling a woman a whore there is one accusation that I don't remember but don't want to call someone a liar, from awhile ago when I used whore more in my joking slang with my close friends + you singled out Aimsey and Hannahrose in your stream in my stream I mentioned many creators, including Aimsey and Hannahrose, to highlight my points about rumors, misconceptions and mispeaking + you disrespected Caiti in that situation by getteing involved and sending hate after her I provided information as I was a witness of a situation involving my best friend + downplayed your involvement and the situation's point by not including it in your vid I didn't include it in the video as Tommy didn't call me out for doing something in it and the situation is George's and Caiti's to discuss not mine => you are sexist and misgynistic and need to clean up your act with how you treat woman contrary to Tommy's statement I am not sexist or misogynistic, nor are my friends as there is no proof.

I don't think Dream is trying to dodge accountability, because (unlike some creators) over and over we have seen him own up, apologize and admit he was wrong or out of line and try to make things right in a reasonable manner. He has proven that he can and does take accountability, in this instance he just simply doesn't see why he needs to as he doesn't follow Tubbo's train of thought and reaches a different conclusion, in the same way Tubbo isn't following Dream's train of thought... anyways I really hope that makes sense or clears things up for at least someone lol. :)

[rouge-fauna]

Normally, I wouldn't really say anything about the drama and stuff, because that's not what I'm here for and honestly I feel like a lot of it is just none of my business. But, it just feels so close to home for me that I can't help but say something. Because here's the thing people aren't going to talk about and probably don't even realize, but I think so much of this drama actually has to do with Dream being autistic.

Just notice the themes of what Tubbo said about Dream being weird, inappropriate, not considering the social boundaries, not communicating, coming across wrong… etc these are all things that can be attributed to Dream literally not knowing better because of neurodivergence. That’s not an excuse but an explanation to know the difference between Dream texting Tommy’s mom out of being manipulative versus not understanding how that breaks a social boundary. That’s not to say Dream should get a free pass to do whatever but I think in the same way we take into consideration other people’s ages and their naivety and obliviousness and inexperience into consideration, Dream’s neurodivergence should be considered too. It is valid. It makes a difference between manipulative and malicious intent versus simply not seeing it the same way.

And really the sad thing is, that I think people will always dislike Dream. At the end of the day, I think that will never change, because even if he was the most perfect person people would still dislike him because of an underlying subconscious response to him not being like the rest. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that he is made the villain in real life and in the dsmp, because it is simply a psychological fact that people inherently dislike autistic people. It’s not because they are ableist it’s just we don’t act like they do so that makes us weird and therefore unlikeable. And it’s hard to understand us because our brains our literally different and as has been said throughout history what we don’t understand we hate, we fear, we see as evil, we attack. Why does Dream get canceled and attacked over and over again? Not because they are true and it proves a pattern that he’s shitty, but because society is so desperate to find a more tangible reason to hate him other than the fact that they just do. Because his behavior breaks social rules he didn’t realize existed. Because he’s easy pickings. Because in my opinion it all comes down to autism and honestly until that piece is actually taken into consideration nothing will probably resolve.

[3liza]

i want to clarify to everyone reading this blog that when I say stuff like "a lot of food dyes are probably bad for you" I'm not saying they will kill you or give you cancer 100% of the time or that they will even cause noticeable subjective effects for everyone who eats them. I'm saying, and I always try to actually link to the research I'm referencing, that some evidence has been found in some number and some quality of studies (and I try to qualify the number/quality/confidence of those studies) that doing/eating/living around certain substances isn't exactly "harmless".

but the thing you need to keep in mind about all studies about various harmful behaviors and substances is that your ability to control what you're being exposed to is limited, and the mega-exposures of really nasty shit like Superfund sites, burn pits, stressful noise, car exhaust and tire micro plastics, drinking water contamination etc is almost always going to be orders of magnitude more impactful on your day to day lives than something like whether your Swedish Fish is made with Red 3 or Red 40. if you're a person who has never noticed yourself getting A Little Weird after drinking red Gatorade, don't worry about it. that just means you're not one of the unlucky ones.

another pertinent issue is that the vast majority of "does exposing someone to this substance cause a measurable effect" studies are done on healthy subjects that have been pre-screened for everything the study runners can think of. they exclude people with any form of allergy, autism, ADHD, depression, asthma, COPD, head trauma, PTSD, and anything else they can think of as a variable. so you likewise have to keep in mind that many many many of the studies that show "no effect" of a substance on the test subjects is reporting that an 18 year old college student with perfect vital signs who has never had any major medical event was able to shake off exposure to a molecule. this is just an outcome of how studies have to be run to exclude variables, it's not a failure of individual scientists. the thing about it is that as we all know from living real life, stuff affects people different ways. perfectly healthy people with no preexisting conditions are actually a minority population. the normal average person has Problems. and those problems cause individual vulnerabilities to various things.

[drdemonprince]

so recently a girl I was hanging out w (we're both trans girls) indicated that she wanted to dominate me in the way I've wanted my whole life but I've never received (mostly not physical, sweet, predominantly psychological, soft, playing w the power dynamics, etc.). Since then I've been feeling some relief but also intense desperation, like I've been starving all my life and I've only just realized, and now the hunger pangs are eating into me.

I was just wondering if this resonates w how you understand kink and where this desperation could be coming from. I'm autistic, so I was wondering if it's desperation for the need to unmask? Or if it's about the shame of having kinky desires, and the relief that comes from getting affirmed that those things are ok? Is it really about a need for care, which I have received very little of my whole life? Or if I'm overthinking it— could I just have a deep gnawing hunger for submission in and of itself, where submission is, for me, as important as breathing?

Of course, I know you can't explain my own emotions, but any insight you have into the tangled web of desire, desperation, hunger, kink, care, relief, autism, trans shit, and isolation would be v v v appreciated. ty dr demon prince :)

I think what you might be responding so strongly to is the opportunity to express a side of yourself that normally has zero outlet. We can call it headspaces, or alters, or escapism, or playing a role, and certainly it has to do a lot with letting go and unmasking -- but the universal human explanation is that who were are is largely socially instantiated, and that it is impossible for us to be certain versions of ourselves without that self being welcomed, catered to, and interplayed with by another person -- the right person, in the right dynamic.

Kink can be so beautiful because it allows sides of ourselves that rarely find expression to interplay with others' also hidden or hard-to-activate sides. With one partner of mine, I get to be a slobbering obedient puppy for their nurturing, yet controlling mommy. Both of us are able to access sides of who we are that feel unreachable in everyday life, or unsafe to express. For them it's a gender euphoric experience that doesn't line up with their day-to-day identity and presentation; for me it's an escape from my mental burdens and the relief of being cared for. Yet it's also deeper. By playing at this long-lasting pet-handler relationship, I get to activate layers of trust and vulnerability with them that it would normally take years of processing and the exact right circumstances to reach. I get to collapse into their arms wailing without having actually been put through any real emotional ringer. I can be completely waylaid with emotion and need and become briefly dependent upon them and let them have full control over my body, without actually having to lose any of my freedom or having to worry about whether they can handle it.

That's just a personal and recent example. But I often feel that within kinky, headspacey social contexts, a different side of me is free to express itself and my ego doesn't have to mediate or hold the reins. I feel the same thing at Furfest, though it's not always sexual. I can just be a friendly, silly, huggy deer, and meet other people for their playful animal/toony energy too. Because we are all just being silly animals, I can relate to people that I might have very little in common with in terms of my day-to-day life. We don't have to talk about work, or our families, or political economy -- we can just dance and get stoned, cuddle and eat snacks, play videogames, compliment one another's outfits, live in the present right before us. all the over-intellectualization that normally separates me from people is just gone, and some more primordial feeling of animal comraderie is there.

And I miss that feeling of ease and friendliness DESPERATELY once furfest ends. It feels at times that when a bond or a social context like this disappears that some essential part of myself has been TAKEN from me. Because it doesn't just dwell within me. I can't just enjoy it alone at home. It has to operate within a living social dynamic.

It may be something like that for you. When I first discovered there was an entire community devoted to erotic hypnosis, my lifelong fetish, the universe seemed to open up with possibility and I was elated. I no longer felt doomed to a joyless daily existence. It turned out I could have real, meaningful fun, connect to other people, do something new that touched new parts of my brain. I could experience some of the sensations I had only ever dreamed about and believed were impossible to realize in actual life. I wanted to live in the hypno world forever (and I did get myself into some weeks-long waking trances that kinda mentally fucked me up because I was in such a frenzy, oops). It's a kind of love, finding your spaces, finding your people, finding the contexts in which some sacred part of you is free. It's a love of yourself, and the other person, and the context -- it's a love of being alive, which is often so sorely needed for those of us who are wired in such a way as regular life is usually unfulfilling or painful.

[emmkitt]

stop calling mephone4 a child.

my credentials(/silly): mephone4’s biggest fan + someone who sees mephone as representative of myself. i am also an autistic adult. (relevant)

i went on an autistic tirade rambling about this in a discord server but i wanted to compile my reasoning and stuff here into a tumblr post because this is very important to me.

alright. lets start with the most commonly used argument.

calling mephone a child is ableist.

now i certainly agree that some children CAN act the way mephone does. however, i think it’s harmful when your ONLY argument as to why he is a child is ‘because he cant spell’ or ‘because he creates fantasy worlds in his brain as a means of escapism.’

I think the issue is, we are reducing these very real symptoms of mental disorders to ‘oh he’s just acting childish,’ instead of understanding them for what they are. autism and dyslexia are not cured the second you turn 18. it doesn’t work that way. giving in to the stereotype that only children can act this way… i dunno man. it really rubs me the wrong way.

i think it’d be better to view him as an adult with these symptoms because, well, VERY rarely do we ever get representation of an adult with mental disorders in media. at least not in a way that’s not villainizing them or mocking/infantilizing them. (sidebar, mephone IS NOT THE VILLAIN. he did bad things, yes, and should be held accountable for it, but he is NOT. THE VILLAIN. he is an abuse victim, and his way of acting is actually very good representation of the way abuse victims may go on to mimic actions of their abuser.) cobs (mephone’s abuser btw) LITERALLY infantilizes mephone IN CANON. IN THE SHOW. WHY ARE YOU LISTENING TO COBS. WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE COBS.

bro didnt go to school

i didnt know how to title this section. basically, people reducing him to a child because he doesn’t know adult things are MISSING THE POINT.

HE WAS RAISED BY COBS.

do you think cobs had ANY interest in teaching him ANYTHING about the real world? about how to be an adult? about how to ride a bike or pay taxes? NO. dude popped into existence knowing nothing except what Cobs WANTED him to know. he was meant to just work for Cobs and do tasks all the time and that was IT. OF COURSE his knowledge is going to be limited to what Cobs taught him. that DOES NOT make someone a child. GO REWATCH THE SHOWWWW.

suspend your disbelief for once in your life oh my god

i dont understand how people are able to suspend disbelief for LITERALLY EVERYTHING ELSE in fiction. such as murder/death, supernatural creatures, the universe itself as a whole, etc. but when it comes to age, the real world standards MUST be applied, no exception. Like since Mephone was canonically created 14 years ago in-universe that means he is 14 years old. we are completely ignoring the fact he is a fictional talking sentient phone robot for a minute.

and adding in the ‘he acts like a child’ argument for a second… season 1. what 1 year old do you know that can walk and talk and create an entire game show?? he has practically acted the EXACT SAME WAY his entire existence, therefore that argument falls completely flat.

it would be DIFFERENT if in-universe they had established rules, where this age means this and that age means that, but the ii universe DOES NOT HAVE THAT. meaning people are free to interpret age however they want. it would ALSO be different if mephone was canonically stated to be a child (we’re getting to that) OR portrayed to be childcoded. which…. he isn’t.

okay so by these rules all of the contestants are younger than mephone.

the agreement amongst child mephone believers seems to be ‘creation date = birth date = real age’. so bot is like 3 years old. the unvitationals are like 2. all the contestants are somewhere between like 4-14. but wait- some season 1 contestants ACT older or younger than the others? no. no theyre ALL 13-14 only. no exceptions. every newbie in season 3 is like 4-5. every newbie in season 2 is like 10. makes perfect sense.

do you understand how ridiculous that is. WE CANNOT , i repeat, CANNOT APPLY REAL WORLD STANDARDS TO A FICTIONAL UNIVERSE. oh my god. they are holograms. they are robots. they are in a weird plane floating in the vastness of space that has a picnic table that can generate food, and the ability to revive dead people, and ghosts and talking corn and. and all of THAT is fine. but god forbid someone interpret the talking phone as an adult. I DONT GET IT.

b-b-but cobs called mephone a child…

once again, common arguement. i strike thee down with a ‘MANIPULATION TACTIC.’ i feel like this has been covered enough and better in other mephone rambles so im not gonna get into it.

personal section

this is more of a personal experiences and opinions thing. less based on fact. agree or disagree idc this is just my experience.

once again, like i stated in the beginning, i see myself in mephone. a lot. I am an adult. i have autism. i have the tendency to act ‘childish’ sometimes due to my condition. im bad at being an adult. i struggle with tasks that are probably easy for other adults. i’m not a child. it’s very disheartening- i WANT to be viewed as an independent functioning adult, despite my condition, but when even a FICTIONAL PHONE who acts just like i do gets reduced to ‘child’ because he acts similarly to someone who’s mentally ill and has been abused. it HURTS MAN. he’s just trying his best:[

anyways conclusion

idc. you can headcanon whatever you want cause technically nothing is confirmed, but this is more food for thought for the people immediately jumping on the ‘child mephone’ bandwagon.

unless someone is canonically stated to be a child or is very heavily child coded, i don’t think its wrong for people to interpret them as an adult.

if sometime in the future mephone is canonically confirmed to be a child like. in universe. ill probably be disappointed.

i am a firm believer in age doesnt work the same way in ii as it does in our universe. theyre all fictional creatures. they were not created by conventional means. you dont have to apply our world’s standards to it.

anyways uhh. ramble over lol

[louisoffline]

FINALLY FINISHED THE REF SHEET PLUS OTHER DRAWINGS YAAYYY okay so i had the ref sheet done basically two days ago BUT i wanted to draw some more because my ref sheets look so......just stand there kinda scary so MORE ART !!! also skip if you are seeing this when i say our mcs twin bro......we are so mind connected with the skeleton sweaters my lord when i logged on and saw that both step 2 designs had them..........my goodness..i think we might just be the same person....

I want to try and flesh out relationships and dynamics more i think thats something i kind of struggle with with ocs so..that is what the rest of this post will be backstory, character traits, etc etc if you chose to read i will love you forever

Step 1: Gosh...I love making characters really reeaaallllyyy awkward and that's exactly what Lenae is. Her awkwardness is really just stemming from anxiety or nervousness. Qiu and her's dynamic is so sweet to me I love characters being to nervous to say things and then another saysit for them omg im weak yeah thats so them. Lenae and Tam on the other hand....it's not like Lenae doesn't liker her she knows she means well and is extremely sweet but Lenae just can't understand why she is so loud and energetic all the time, she finds it hard to keep up. She IS the sweetest kid you would ever come across though, she will do anything to see you smile. Her earmuffs are a constant, everyone else may think it's just a comfort thing but it is in fact a noise thing we just don't know that yet guys(undiagnosed autism is craayyy)

Step 2: Still being that same shy, sweet kid while looking emo AND TRANSGENDER?? not for the weak. Still shy and reserved maybe even more so but no one really expects anything else. I think meek is a very good descriptor, they get freaked so so easily like has never had a peaceful day in their life. However, Halloween IS their favorite time of the year, it's an aesthetics thing i guess. If you pass by Lenae in the halls you would probably think that they were on their last few threads of patience by the sour look on their face but no, they could be having the best day of their life with that face on. They found it tiring to keep that placid smile on their face all the time when it wasn't always real. In this stage Lenae has definitely started expierimenting with different art mediums like dabbling in painting, poetry, music, you name it. Qiu and Lenae are still the bestest friends ever(bestest crushes ever???) and it's actually kind of nice to have someone by your side who knows what you're going through with your gender identity struggle and everything. Lenae for sure feels bad for how they treated Tam just because they thought she was a little much, I mean it was kind of hypocritical, so they've been trying to make it up to her by being kind of everyly nice?? oh boy oh boy

Step 3: I really don't know a lot of what I could write for step 3 since like nothing of it is out in the actual game SO were just gonna go like personality kind of wise y'know? I think they've definitely mellowed out AT LEAST A LITTLE...like omg guys they can sometimes order for themselves at restaurants!! They're very opinionated and has a strong stance on what they believe but like not in a mean way they just don't understand why others would think differently. Building on their creative abilities, they probably have plans to go to a college for art or fashion. Or maybe they'll start their own business who knows! It's okay to not have everything planned out anymore, some spontaneity is welcome in their life. Now that they've finally been able to be more open, mainly around friends, they'll say something a little too...unsettling or freaky??? to be normal, it's a little weird to get used to oopsies

AND THATS ALL if you read all of this i appreciate you becasue this has been drafted up on my computer screen for multiple days I just did not know what to say siigghhh yeah i love this kid and I hope you guys do too teehee

[mechanical-sunchild]

Otherlinking as an origin of otherkinism/therianthropy, part 2

Alright so this time I'm actually going into my...theory, I suppose?

In the theri/kin communities we have two frameworks of supposed origins of why we are what we are;

Spiritual

Psychological

There's also metaphysical origins, but I don't have a great grasp on what counts if I'm honest but feel free to think of the variable origins I miss which could count.

Both are broad categories and what they mean differs from user to user - although there are some common specifics.

A lot of spiritual theri/kin will for example have a soul-based belief but even within that framework they may believe their identity stems from a past life, or from a misplaced soul or from a soul connected to a paralel life and more!

And that is just the very tip of the iceberg, as some who use the label 'spiritual' are basing it on specific religious or cultural spiritual beliefs which match the experience.

The same goes for psychological possibilities. Neurodivergence is the most common example, be that Autism or schizophrenia, an innate bond created without your influence or a delusion you experience which influences your identity.

But the meaning of psychological in this context really just means 'relating to the mind/brain'.

Which brings us onto the main topic. Otherlinking is when one chooses to repeatedly enforce a particular identity (any species, any kind of thing at all) until it becomes a integral part of you, until it becomes 'real'. For most Otherlinkers (incl' funlink, copinglink etc) these identities can be 'dropped' in much the same way they were obtained, or simply fade when the reason one wanted/needed the link to exist no longer holds or exists.

For a good number of linkers, these 'links' become so much a part of who they are that they cannot be actively gotten rid of and do not fade. For those of us who also have traditional involuntary kin/theriotypes these kind of strong linktypes feel exactly the same - as described by those who have involuntary kin/theriotypes and voluntary but strong enough to count link-to-kin/theriotypes.

In fact, with terms like vaguetype and quoiluntary out there it can be safely assumed that a good chunk of the alterhuman/nonhuman community has trouble identifying whether certain identities are voluntary or involuntary, suggesting that the lines between as not as exact as we may believe.

So, if a 'linktype' is more or less defined by not just it's voluntary creation, but it's ability to be essentially uncreated or to fade away without reinforcement then surely it could be considered incorrect to continue to call it a linktype when it no longer meets the entire definition?

At that point has the person in question not essentially created their own otherkinism/therianthropy from the ground up?

It is based in the mind, it involves the mind creating the identity in some way, it is not so unlike other psychological origins except that the person has a hand in it on purpose.

Maybe we need to stop getting caught up on the 'voluntary' part and focus on just making sure it is known that otherkin/therians identify as - this is, after all, the actual important aspect of those identities. One must be, not relate.

An otherlinker who is also a therian/otherkin because of their linking is going to have very similar internal and external experiences to a completely involuntary otherkin/therian.

I don't see why they cannot simply join in the otherkin/therian terms and communities when those words describe what they experience as a result of their 'linking.

If we take a deep breath and don't get defensive for a second - let's remember that antis will always think that all of us are choosing it even if we aren't.

Instead of removing voluntary otherkinism/therianthropy as a possibility and rejecting some of our fellows because of their origin to try and dispel antis - why don't we instead acknowledge that it very much does seem to exist and that going 'yeah, some of us do choose to become otherkin/therians, we're still what we say we are, so who cares?' removes one more of their flimsy weapons against us.

We are always stronger together. It is time to branch out and explore past current boundaries and understandings of how one becomes, immutably, nonhuman.

[cripplecharacters]

what are the top 5 things you'd like to see a disabled character do in a story?

Hey! This is a very vast question and a lot of it would depend on the character's actual disability - I have completely different wishlists for what I'd like to see intellectually disabled characters do versus what I'd like to see characters with facial differences do. Different stereotypes and tropes affect different groups of disabled people differently - to work with this fact, the below list will try to account for as large amount of disabled character as I can reasonably think of, but it won't have as much detail as you might want. If you have a specific kind of character in mind, feel free to send another ask.

Not in specific order:

Disabled characters being in love. Disabled x disabled, disabled x abled, disabled x very different kind of disabled, all these variants but including more than 2 characters (since I've yet to see a polyamorous disabled character), all of this.

And I mean in actual relationships, not the pitiful and devoid of actual chemistry thing that we usually get (think "really sad disabled man only becomes happy after an abled woman takes pity on him, but they never kiss or god forbid have sex because that's gross and the disableds surely don't do that anyway").

I want to see an interabled couple going through IVF because they want to have kids, a wife with hemiplegia getting to grow old and wrinkly with her autistic husband, a lesbian with Treacher Collins syndrome moving in with her chronically ill girlfriend after a month of knowing each other, DeafBlind men getting hands on each other in the bathroom of a shitty nightclub, a trans woman with autism asking out a trans man with Down syndrome via her AAC tablet, a neurotypical guy with an obvious crush on his classmate with cerebral palsy.

I want to actually see disabled people being shown as desirable partners, good parents and grandparents, potential crushes, going through some new feelings and going on both good and bad dates, from all walks of life, of all sexualities and genders. Just like abled people.

Disabled characters participating in their community. Especially severely and/or visibly disabled characters. This is obviously a concept as vague as it could possibly be, but a big problem with a lot of disabled characters is that they don't... do anything. Not in the sense that they aren't "active enough", but that they aren't really... characters. They're often reduced to a family member who's at home and maybe the abled character takes care of them sometimes, but that's seemingly all that happens; they have no interests, hobbies, agency, preferences, or an internal thought process. All they do is wait for an abled savior to do something to them, not even with them.

I want to see more disabled characters who have jobs (whether it's a "regular" job, a supported employment workplace, a creative job that maybe they can only do a few hours a week, or self-care as a full-time job kind of thing), participating in hobbies that are accessible and/or modified to their ability level, emailing or sending pigeon letters to their friends, trying out new stuff that they're interested in, having actual complex relationships with their caregivers. Anything to actually make them feel like characters that exist in their setting, not just cardboard cutouts that the author had no ideas for.

Disabled characters who are a part of real-world disability (and adjacent) culture. Obviously also a vast topic. Most disabled characters, regardless of setting, are completely separated from concepts that were made by disabled people for disabled people; usually the connection to disability is their actual medical condition and a sterile mobility aid. This is not incorrect or bad to represent since that describes a lot of people, but I'd like to simply see more variety.

I want to see disabled characters who do parasports, who are excited about tactile art, went to blind/Deaf/SPED schools, call themselves #a babe with a mobility aid, decorate their AAC device, learn about disabled history, experience Feelings when hearing that Neanderthals cared about their disabled children, go to disability-centric events or support groups to meet people similar to them.

Do all disabled people do these? Absolutely not, but I'd like for even 1% of fictional characters to represent those who do.

Yeah I just want more disabled characters doing sports. As in real-life sports that real-life disabled people do, apologies to all the fantasy swordfighting that's out there.

There are so many sports out there we can do, some are adapted, some have a sitting or wheelchair version, while others were made specifically for us. Team sports are such a good opportunity to have your character have a community of people like them, have interesting dynamics, yet the only anything I can think of that's about it is REAL by Takehiko Inoue (wheelchair basketball) and the art by @/gayaest / @/sproutwiki (sitting volleyball). Also some Paralympics documentaries that I can count on a single hand - there's like three of them.

I want to see characters who are starting out and really suck at their sport, ones who are decent, ones with ridiculous sports-anime-level over the top abilities. I want to see all kinds of sports done by all kinds of disabled characters; blind kids learning goalball with their blind parents, quadriplegic guys working their ass off to qualify for national murderball championships, folks using sticker-covered bright-pink ramps in their boccia games, people with POTS playing along with their abled partner on their wheelchair rugby league team, standing fencers becoming disabled and adapting to wheelchair fencing that they love just as much. More disabled people having fun, knowing other disabled people, having interests!

Also, parasports are just cool as fuck and interesting to both watch and read about.

Disabled characters getting to make bad decisions. Disability representation is often extremely black-and-white in terms of morality: the character is either an angel who always does the right thing and talks about being grateful a lot, or the character is comically evil, wanting revenge because of their disability, hating their disability, constantly in grief and anger since not a single mildly ok thing happened to them since they became disabled. Neither of these feel like real people.

Disabled characters should be able to say hurtful things, get mad, lie, and whatever else, without being demonized to hell for it the same way abled characters are. They should be allowed to consciously make a decision that they shouldn't take (also known as "dignity of risk" in context of disability). They should get the same consequences for mistakes as everyone else and need to have the opportunities to actually make them.

In a much shorter way: more complex disabled characters.

These are things that I'd enjoy seeing for disabled characters. But the main thing would probably be that I want more of them. The scope of disabled characters in media is so painfully narrow because there's so few of them + they're usually capped at one per series. More writing featuring multiple disabled people please.

Here is a list of wishes from other mods who wanted me to throw them here:

Disabled characters who act like the author did more than a 10 min google search about their disabilities. [So authors doing actual research.]

More disabled characters of color. A lot of time disabled characters are white because it's only acceptable for them to be one kind of marginalized. In real life that's not how it works. People of color are disabled too!

Characters with comorbidities, characters with physical and mental health and developmental symptoms. Disability doesn't just come with one cut and dry disorder all the time - you can even be diagnosed with some things and undiagnosed with others.

[A character can have 5 comorbidities, or 5 completely unrelated disabilities - both happen. Or, most frequently, a bit of both.]

Characters existing in all parts of their diagnostic journey. [So characters who are yet to be diagnosed, currently investigating their symptoms, ones recently diagnosed, and ones who had their diagnosis for their whole lives - and as mentioned previously, you can be on one stage with disability A, and on another with disability B.]

Characters whose whole life isn't just tragedy/struggle! See this a lot when a story with disabled character is just about how life is hard for them as disabled person. Would love disabled characters being leads in other genres and just existing as people. Not to say disability isn't a struggle, but there is more to life and person than disability.

mod Sasza

[peanutbutterandbananasandwichs]

do u have hcs for sams post canon family life

Ok so gonna preface this with the fact that I hold opinions that I think are relatively uncommon in this corner of Samblr which is that as a general overarching thing Sam was relatively happy, he and blurry partner stayed together and were mostly happy, and Sam was on the whole a pretty good dad. Not that everything was perfect, far from it, but that generally it all worked out ok. I feel this way mostly tbh because if I didn't I would genuinely struggle to get any enjoyment out of the finale. I'm a FAKE Sam suffering enjoyer lmao. It's already deeply fucking depressing to me to imagine Sam spending eternity in heaven with Dean being squished back into The Roles, I need SOMETHING so cling too lol.

ANYWAYS that being said:

Said this before but although I am fairly flexible on identity of blurry partner my personal favourite thing to come back to is that she is Amelia. So I'm gonna run with her for the rest of these.

Related to this is that I think when we see Sam leave the bunker in the finale to go on the hunt in Texas that ended up being the last time he ever returned. He didn't mean it to be, it just happened. Maybe subconsciously he knew because he'd packed the little memory box with pictures etc in the trunk of the Impala without thinking about it. Anyway keeping this on track, he ends up staying in Texas and eventually, he and Amelia run into each other again - her having left Don again after things didn't work out a few years ago (gonna be real with you I think Don was abusive) and end up reconnecting.

Riot and Miricle are kinda grumpy but tolerant about each other.

They also eventually adopt an old lady tabby cat from the local shelter who absolutely terrorises both dogs, but dotes on Sam.

Sam ends up telling Amelia the truth about his life about 3 months into their relationship restarting, not all of it, but enough to keep her aware. She says that honestly even though it sounds crazy it makes a LOT of sense of how Sam was when they first met. This is the point at which they decide they do want their relationship to last and be serious. Amelia suggests they do couple's counselling together, given both their past issues if they really want to make this work.

He and Amelia never marry for a variety of reasons, but it works for them.

Sam ends up getting a degree - I think in something like anthropology (me an archaeologist totally not biased here lol), he does it through a distance learning program so mostly online but with some in-person classes and workshops.

DJ wasn't a planned pregnancy and it took a lot of discussion between them to decide to go ahead. Sam in particular was very anxious about the idea of being an actual dad to an actual baby, as much as he was kinda one to Jack he knows this is a whole different level. Amelia never wanted kids with Don. Amelia is also in her 40s by the time it happens so there are extra potential complications to consider. In the end they both agree that they want go ahead, and they both acknowledge that this will probably be their only kid.

Already mentioned Sam and DJ being autistic elsewhere but that's very precious to me.

Sam does struggle to find a balance between making sure he's there for DJ in a way his dad wasn't for him and being too much of a helicopter parent. He's SO conscious of DJ being an only child and the potential for loneliness stemming from that (absolutely projecting his own childhood loneliness SO hard and of course, his ideas on sibling companionship are NOT normal lol). As DJ get's older Sam does manage to relax a little, although it is still an issue from time to time.

That being said as I mentioned previously re the autism headcannon this level of worry also means that Sam puts in SO much work and research into being a supportive dad to an autistic kid.

Amelia is the 'breadwinner' in the relationship, continuing to work as a vet, Sam works a series of different part-time jobs over the years, mostly involving fixing stuff. After he gets his degree he works a couple of days a week at the local library as an assistant.

Related, finally stopping hunting gave him time to really catch up with and assess his body, and a lot of the weight and wear and tear of what he'd been through hit him quite suddenly. He has chronic fatigue issues in particular for the rest of his life which is why part-time work ends up being the best solution for him. Although Amelia, and DJ when he's a teenager, do still frequently have to sit him down and force him to stop trying to do too much at once.

Amelia passes away before Sam. She had been dead for about 5 years by the time Sam died.

Sam keeps very little contact with the hunting world, but Jody does still come to visit. DJ is very fond of her, much to Sam's delight.

The first time Sam had to look after DJ on his own after Amelia went back to work full time and was working a nightshift he was stuck to him like glue, Amelia came home to find him curled up on the floor asleep right next to DJs cot.

Sam loves helping DJ with his homework, and DJ loves it too - its their special time together, and its when Sam is able to be most emotionally open and present.

Sam's issues with food never go away, and its one thing he and Amelia do get into fights over is Sam (unintentionally) putting some of his issues on DJ (think Sam telling Jack he shouldn't eat sugary cereal).

Sam and Amelia both discover a love of gardening and they spend a lot of their free time together working on their garden. Amelia particularly loves roses and has a little rose garden that becomes their little sanctuary (Amelia's ashes are buried there). Sam creates a little healing herbs garden, he doesn't actively practice witchcraft but he likes to make little tinctures and teas and stuff.

I'll stop there lol

[kafus]

i don’t think my mom (or my sister who helped my mom buy this apparently) know how meaningful of a gesture this is to me. i opened the little box with this inside and almost started crying. i think i thanked my mom like 5 times before we left my uncle’s house lol

i got a couple comments pointing out the color being wrong which really annoyed me bc i… don’t care at all 😭 this is a really thoughtful present from my family who don’t even Watch this show. i’m not getting hung up on the color that’d be weird!!

the printed out photos r bc of stuff that didn’t come in the mail on time and… the liko cosplay… i think my family is trying to turn me into liko in real life. i swear i didn’t ask for the cosplay. and i am also not a cosplayer 😭 but i did cut and dye my hair to be like liko’s so 😭 😭 IT MAKES SENSE I’M VERY EXCITED FOR IT TO COME IN THE MAIL LOL

i am 25 and there are no kids left in our family for christmas morning, we’re all adults, and yet i was just sitting there smiling goofily surrounded by all this pokemon stuff no differently than when i was in elementary school. Raw unbridled concentrated autism. some things don’t change

i’m really happy this morning was one of my better christmas mornings in a while both bc of gifts and the environment. it’s rare i actually talk with any of my family members tbh it was nice. and holy shit i ate so many deviled eggs it should be illegal

[astrolavas]

Wait that hunter and willow struggle with vulnerabilty essay you mentioned... Hand it over 🫵

KXJSK thank you for enabling my brainrot, let's GO 🫡

okay so, for starters, we all know both hunter and willow tend to hide their vulnerability, push down their feelings and repress a lot, but it's actually super interesting how they do it in completely different ways and for such different reasons.

i've already written one essay about hunter's tendency to do that here, but that was a while ago, so let's refresh it up a little bit with season 3.

hunter lived his entire life in the emperor's coven, as a magicless witch at that, isolated from everyone and manipulated. he got used to ignoring and hiding how he felt, because showing vulnerability in the coven was seen as weakness, and showing his real emotions could have genuinely very very bad consequences for him. especially with him having no magic, he was already disrespected and seen as lesser by everyone (for example, the covenheads) but he yearned to be respected, to be treated well, equally; so he couldn't afford to show any vulnerability there. and when it came to showing negative feelings near belos... well. that especially had the potential to take a dark turn really fast; to provoke belos to do something. it was genuinely dangerous for him to express his emotions, it wasn't safe for him at all. he could NOT do it.

his golden guard persona also comes into play here and it's SO interesting how he uses it. masking (in a literal, psychological AND metaphorical sense); using it to feel braver, to act more confident. taking on a role of the emperor's trusted right-hand man instead of the lonely kid that he was. all this... well, surrounded by that hurtful mentality and hostile coven environment, he had to do it; to be more respected, to be able to do things that he had to do, to actually FUNCTION. it was a necessity for his survival.

but here's the thing, he likes to think of himself as a more of a practical/logical/rational thinker, and he IS in general, that is true, but he actually DOES act based on his emotions and moral compass quite often. he's also really good at reading and analyzing people, and immediately getting them. he's oblivious to some things but overall he's emotionally smart, and very very insightful and perceptive....... it might be sth he's naturally skilled at, but he also definitely had to learn it; had to know how to read belos' mood and probably learnt all the little things he had to watch out for on some days, all the little signs to stop talking or look away. all that was, once again, for his own safety. BUT OKAYKXJSKK we're accidentally going off course here so let's go back slightly- hunter is also VERY expressive (which makes sense considering he wore a mask most of the time. ............. also hyper-expressive autism #real #so true—) so oftentimes his emotions are actually (no matter how hard he tries to hide or deny them) well visible on his face, before he manages to school them; although that also depends on the exact emotion he's feeling, some are more visible than others. so this is interesting, how he simultaneously automatically represses/hides some of his feelings and manifests them as something else but also feels everything so intensely and is such an open book based on his initial facial expressions. both of these facts coexist.

so, vulnerability. we already know hunter has trouble expressing his emotions at times. he loves to pretend he's okay when he clearly isn't; and it takes a LOT for him to open up to someone. he only really lets himself be truly emotionally vulnerable next to people he fully trusts and feels safe with, it doesn't come to him with ease.

that's why his scene with luz in the forest shack's basement is so important. that ENTIRE scene, actually. we can really see how much they've grown to trust each other, how safe they feel in each other's presence. what they had going on with their secret-keeping was not really fully healthy at the time, because they kept comforting each other from their VERY similar perspectives/stances, which just further locked in their mentality of "oh they'll hate both of us when they find out our secrets"; they were ensuring each other's fears by relating to each other; it was a circle. but nevertheless, they still cared about each other and have grown to care about each other even more throughout the few months.

here, hunter managed to admit that he was scared. he felt comfortable enough to admit his vulnerability like that to luz since they've grown closer and truly trusted each other with this. he's grown SO much.

and then... the crying scene. i am not exaggerating when i say this is SUCH an important moment for hunter's character, as well as a perfect insight into his dynamic with luz. especially since the thing that jumpstarted his cry was luz telling him he's family now, and that she wants to ensure he's safe too... all his emotions coming to the surface, him finally not managing to keep stuff in, allowing himself to be vulnerable like that next to someone, actually crying and letting it out instead of holding it in or distancing himself in order to go through it alone... it was a big step for him, and it perfectly illustrated just how much he's grown. and the way luz responded to it was also so thoughtful. she was extremely tired and depressed herself, but she still showed worry. she knew hunter needed space to let it all out and avoided crowding him, since jumping at him with worry and questions and hugs would only make it worse and freak him out, but she initiated a delicate half-hug after a moment, non-verbally expressing her care.

but moving on!

now, let's focus on hunter post-flapjack's death.

it's a big, traumatic event that affects and shakes him a LOT. he doesn't feel good, he doesn't feel happy, and that predictably results in the same thing as always..... hunter repressing his negative feelings and masking them as anger. prioritizing helping others and focusing on a mission at hand. not being sure if he's okay or how he feels or how to express what he feels when someone asks.

this is the behaviour we've ALWAYS seen from him in such situations. in season 2a, when he's just generally unhappy even if he doesn't realize it, and appears as angry and irritable... and in labyrinth runners, when he lives alone while dealing with serious life events; distances himself from everything and everyone, and then tries to act as if nothing had happened, and isn't sure HOW to express/talk abt his feelings, prefers to focus on someone/something else instead. andddd at the end of thanks to them after flapjack's death! when he immediately asks if everyone else is okay and jumps in to comfort luz and focuses on taking belos down; on a task. JUST... AUGHH! he prefers to push through his feelings cuz it's a defense mechanism, the same one he's been using in the past; in the coven. it allowed him to survive, and such instinct is not something that's easy to abandon.

so, this entire pattern is so, so clear in how he acts in for the future too. he tries to mask his grief and sadness with anger and coldness. he keeps pushing people (and palismen) away, distancing himself from others, acting irritable, focusing solely on the mission at hand, just wanting to find belos immediately; thinking about literally anything but flapjack or what happened just a few hours prior, cuz it hurts too much to think about it. the sadness and other emotions that accompany him as a result of flapjack's death keep sneaking up on him in random moments, but he fights not to let them through fully. he cannot allow himself to break down right now.

but then, he's alone for a moment, and he allows himself to feel some vulnerability here. he's overwhelmed by what's happening and misses flapjack. and, as always, he doesn't know what to say. he feels everything so intensely inside but he has no idea how to express that on the outside, he doesn't know how to put everything that he thinks and feels into proper words; how to accurately communicate everything he wants to communicate to gus and willow. he struggles with that.

but just like willow had her arc of repression (to be talked about in a second) and finally realized she can rely on other people too and allowed herself to show feelings and vulnerability instead of letting it all consume her from the inside out, hunter similarly let himself show some of that vulnerability to his friends. in the span of that moment, driven by pure instinct and his love for his friends, he managed to put what he'd always wanted to say into words.

he also realized that flapjack is always going to be a part of him in a way (both literally and metaphorically), even when he's not actually there, and it brought him some comfort at last... it didn't heal him or got rid of his grief ofc, there's a long journey ahead of him, but it helped him with the first step of dealing with grief and accepting what had happened.

now, when we compare how he is with feelings right now to how he was at the beginning of the series, he's truly grown so much. he's always gonna somewhat struggle with expressing his emotions and vulnerability, but now that he's surrounded by people who care about him, whom he trusts with his life, who he doesn't fear being vulnerable around, it's going to be so much easier for him. of course, there are always going to be instances where something bad happens and he represses again; his defense mechanism and trauma response aren't going to just instantly disappear like that. but he has people he can be his true self around now, people he can confide in; it's going to help him a lot. and he's going to continue growing, and developing as a person.

.....yeah! okay, now... willow time!!

willow's repression arc has always been always kinda sprinkled in and hinted at throughout the duration of the series. we know she was bullied for a significant amount of time and it affected her confidence a lot, but it also made her repress and push down her feelings.

i'd say her arc almost had... two parts to it. the first one was her coming out of her shell, gaining confidence and embracing her strength. the second one: her struggle with vulnerability and repressing feelings.

meeting luz and transferring to plant track was what definitely helped her with the confidence problem. she flourished (lol) after she was allowed to embrace her interests and strengths. but what remained, was that willow saw her insecurity and emotions as her weaknesses. she even said it herself, she most of all wants to protect everyone she loves (similar to hunter actually), and all-together that resulted in her shutting herself off and just focusing on others' feelings. wanting to be reliable for her friends, seeing herself as the "strong one" in the group; the rock. the mature one.

always pretending she's okay and fine with everything, putting a smile on her face through it all. because after all, she doesn't want others to worry about her, right? (she did it for all emotions too, basically)

especially if we take into account that she was bullied and seen as inferior to others for years + her entire past with amity + just in general her history with the abomination track and the expectations from her dads regarding it, all of it was trauma for willow and she ended up with the need to hide her feelings (something she saw as her weakness/flaws/weak spots) as a coping mechanism. she hated being seen as weak, and after she gained more confidence in herself, that feeling only grew.

in for the future, we could see just how much the suppression was affecting her. she still tried to be cheerful, dependable, not bothering anyone with her own worries, trying to make others feel better. but with each next moment, every feeling of hers builds up more and more, until finally it cannot be contained anymore. and explodes.

her magic is actually also a great metaphor/illustration of her feelings suppression. whenever willow's especially feeling things, we can always see how her magic reacts too it, how her emotions manifest through it. and this scene in ftf is a great visual representation of it; how the vines slowly cover her until she's completely buried under them. how helpless she feels. man...

but at last, she allows herself to let her feelings out. she's assured that she's not any worse for it, told that reliable people can rely on others as well. she lets all her worries and fears and thoughts and vulnerability finally show, instead of letting it all consume her from the inside out. it's such a turning moment for her. because from then on, she's shown to genuinely express more emotions and not depend entirely on herself, now that she's aware it doesn't make her any less strong. she's assured none of her friends are gonna think any less of her, or to see her as weak, and that's good.

actually, another thing i wanna bring up is willow being saved and bridal-carried by hunter in this scene.

could she have saved herself? yes, most likely, just like she did in any sport in a storm, when she was still suppressing any weaknesses of hers and relying on herself only. if hunter hadn't teleported to save her, she'd probably do just that. but this little moment is actually such a good illustration of how now that she's allowing herself to depend on others too (instead of just be dependable), she allows herself to be saved. when she needs it.

see, this is actually the thing i've seen lots of people confused about because "willow is independent, she wouldn't want to be saved" and... that actually confuses me, because it truly misses the very core of her character arc.

the point is that she CAN take care of herself and she wants others (especially people who see her as weak) to know that and to not underestimate her abilities (just like we've seen in labyrinth runners, for example). but, at the same time, she also wasn't allowing herself to take her guard off or to be saved by others for a long time exactly for that same reason; because she didn't want to be seen as weak anymore. she wanted to be seen as only strong and independent, to the point where she deemed any weakness of hers as bad.

like, that's the entire point of her character, her repressing negative feelings then finally allowing herself to open up and be more vulnerable (+ realizing it doesn't make her any less strong). she doesn't hate being saved necessarily, she hates being seen as inferior and weak and incompetent. for example, willow hated when amity constantly tried to save her in labyrinth runners instead of letting her take care of things herself or acknowledging her strengths because it made her think amity thought she was not capable of protecting herself. because it was amity saving her from the smallest things. it made her feel disrespected, as if she was called weak right to her face.

now... hunter never saw willow as weak, ever, and he knows perfectly well that she can take care of herself. he respects her and likes her in her entirety, both for her strength as well as her softer, more vulnerable side. BUT in moments when he thinks she does need protecting or saving, he doesn't hesitate to do so. and now that willow has let herself be more vulnerable and realized she can let herself rely on others more, she clearly appreciates and doesn't mind it whatsoever.

the mutual trust and respect is the actual key point in hunter and willow's relationship; they both know each of them are strong and skilled and able to protect themselves, but they also know each others' vulnerabilities and want to protect each other when a situation actually calls for it. both willow and hunter want the ppl they care abt (each other included) to be safe and they will protect them when they need it, but neither of them would like... completely discredit someone's abilities to stay safe on their own. so when it comes to willow's strength complex, hunter knows when willow can take it cuz he respects her and trusts her abilities, but when she actually needs it, he'll gladly save and protect her as his priority; but not in frivolous instances when she can take care of herself. and she will do the same for him.

so yeah!

tldr; it's actually super cool how both willow and hunter repress their feelings a lot and prioritize others over themselves but it manifests in such different ways and comes from slightly different circumstances/reasonings for each of them.

willow more-so feels like she has to be the more mature one in the group, and she pretends she's okay and fine and focuses on how others are feeling instead of herself cuz she wants to be dependable and hates showing weakness or being seen as weak. whereas, hunter isn't sure how to express himself and when he feels negative things, they manifest as anger/irratibility. he prefers to focus on some productive task instead and he prefers to distance himself from others, and it also all comes down to how he grew up in the coven and how he was raised by belos. like it's... SO interesting how they both do something so similar at its core but so differently.

[enbyzombies2]

alright. ableism 101 for gravity falls fans. because we can't ignore it a second longer.

"Ableism is discrimination and social prejudice against physically or mentally disabled people. Ableism characterizes people as they are defined by their disabilities and it also classifies disabled people as people who are inferior to non-disabled people."

^ we are including mental illness under the category of disabled for the purposes of this post, as so many of you can't imagine a guy with ptsd being a person

disability is not worse than death. some people may view it that way for themselves, but you have no right to say it about another person, especially if you are abled. so don't even think about it. disabled life has value, period, full stop. stop calling people with serious brain damage vegetables, empty shells, etc. They have value just by being alive and disabled even if a machine breathes for them and they need 24/7 care

^ yes, some family members and people close to a disabled person will think this way, think that they're being compassionate for "not wanting them to live this way", but again, it is not really their place to have an opinion. they can have emotions about the situation but do not place those on the disabled person, who is likely having loads more complicated emotions than they are. the disabled person's life is just as important as theirs for not being diabled.

do some research before writing about a specific symptom or condition. too many fics about ford having seizures that clearly have no idea what happens after a seizure, let alone the first one a person has had (or at least one so bad it was recognized as such by themselves and the people around them). you don't get diagnosed with epilepsy because an ED doctor who doesn't specialize in this kind of thing looked at you after one seizure and said "yeap, probably". you get an eeg and a seizure study and trial run of various medications (that you cannot just go off of without serious consequences) and a whole lot more. this is a single specific example, but generally speaking, take some time out of your day to read up on what people actually experience and how it affects them. you might actually gain some compassion for them that way (/bitter)

polydactyly is a limb difference that, yes, people are discriminated against for, socially and professionally. it's not inherently considered a disability, but it can be one depending on a lot of factors. what i'm saying is, be normal about ford or i'll kill you.

be normal about autistic ppl. stop writing them as all the same person with the same symptoms regardless of what the character actually does in canon

be normal about ppl w (c)ptsd. their flashbacks do not make them "feral", even if they become violent and uncommunicative during them, and they are allowed to have emotions about the things that happened to them without someone else butting in to tell them how to feel.

be normal about ppl w personality disorders too. you can hc ford with npd all you want, that's cool, but for the love of god, think about who your audience is and what they will take away from you attempting to say that ford is a horrible person who *happens* to have npd.

be normal about ppl w psychosis. hi. formerly psychotic person here. we are not insane or crazy or deserve to be locked up for our experiences. we are rarely violent towards other people and are more likely to hurt ourselves, or be hurt by other people who are not psychotic. our symptoms might seem scary to you, but We are not scary.

TAKE. ABUSE. SERIOUSLY. that's the entire bullet point.

take a character's experiences seriously, because all of them have happened to a real life person out there. "haha stan did sex work for drugs isn't that so funny" no, because i know people who did the same, and it was not funny in the slightest. "haha ford was abused by a loser who can't even tie his own shoes" i can't tie my own shoes due to dexterity problems stemming from autism and muscle weakness, and i was also abused by a loser (aka. every abuser out there) so how do you think i feel hearing you say that. enjoy your lol toxic yaoi but maybe consider real survivors before you go around talking about how stupid ford is for (checks notes) being manipulated and gaslit?

i hate bill, but i am also a survivor of medical neglect and psychiatric hospitalization, and i can understand that bill being sent to "haha grippy sock jail" is not funny. it is horrible and it is disgusting to joke about how he's being medically abused as if nobody actually experiences that. yes, he is a horrible person, but not even abusers deserve abuse. nobody does, that's the whole point. nobody is obligated to forgive an abuser, but nobody should be subject to systemic violence that will go ignored because they did bad things so obviously they deserve it.

don't fucking use slurs. didn't think we had to spell that one out for you.

ok? ok.