#was so nauseous too
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This fourth of July holiday weekend has probably been the worst one I've experienced in my entire life, lol.
#just wanting to vent#got a really bad sunburn on both my legs#all the way up to my waist#i forgor to reapply sunscreen on my legs ā ļø#it was so bad that I had to miss one day of clinicals the day after the 4th#I was also apparently dehydrated#so I could barely walk and I fainted/bonked my head twice#got a nice bruise#was so nauseous too#had the chills#lol#lesson learned#even if you're in the sun for 4 hours or less or eveb if you put a towel over your legs#reapply your damn sunscreen#ššš#only kinda good thing waa I got to watch all the eurocuo and copa america games#but I'm a bit worried since I missed a day of clinicals#the program is pretty strict#even with a dr's note#waking uo at 4:30-5:00am will be a bitch tomorrow to go to clinicals#because I usually feel my worst waking up#and trying to hobble to take my stupid cold shower/bath#since that's all my legs can handle#not even lukewarm water#kill me now#ok venting over#kvietka rambles#I literally look like a lobster from the waist down š¦#fun mental image lmao
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something people just donāt think about is how often chronically ill and disabled people just donāt have access to good food. not healthy food, good food; well made, tasty meals that donāt come from a jar or a freezer. how many of us are housebound or canāt drive? delivery services only offer within certain distances, if you live outside a city they arenāt an option. many people donāt have the energy or ability to cook for themselves if they have the skill to begin with. many certainly donāt have the ability to learn how. itās something that goes completely unnoticed, just the opportunity to have a good meal and how much that wears you down
#all i want is chinese food#the closest one to me is 40 minutes away and its a /bad/ chinese place#its my worst option and its not even an option#āfried rice is easy to make heres a recipe!ā#i cant use a stove bc the heat will give me a seizure#even if i keep myself cool something that should take 15 minutes will take upwards of an hour bc i need to take breaks#even then ill probably be too nauseous to eat it after being active for so long#all of that for a bad cooks version of fried rice#more expensive and worse than a takeaway place#but i cant get it from a takeaway place#repeat ad nauseum for the rest of my life and is it any wonder im so sick of the same food ive eaten for 10 years#the only time i get takeaway is when my parents decide to go out and bring something home#can you imagine living like that for the rest of your life?#i dont have to#and its so dumb to want to cry over rice#but its not really about the rice is it#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#spoonie#chronic illness#disability#pots#postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome#ehlers danlos syndrome#fibromyalgia#chronic fatigue#chronically ill#mental illness#mental health
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*stares at disciple SQQ falling into the abyss au*
oh you are so "SY-is-SJ" coded. You are so "fell into the abyss and suddenly remembered that oh i've been Shen Jiu this whole time, not just Shen Yuan. we are one and the same". you are so 'crumbling under the weight of the system and being in the abyss and the despair of never really being free and having suffered in both lives' built. you are so 'scrambling to come to terms with your existence and battling with which life is really yours, only to realize that they both are'. You are primed for going off the rails.
I'm so normal about this guys. i promise.
#svsss#mxtx svsss#svsss au#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#scum villian self saving system#scum villian#svsss role reversal au#IF I MAKE IT SY-IS-SJ THERE'S NO STOPPING ME FROM MAKING THIS AU QIJIU. LIKE IT MUST BE QIJIU IF I GO THAT ROUTE.#grinding my teeth. grips you by the shoulders tightly#the angst of YQY finding out SQQ fell into the endless abyss and falling into a despair that he couldnt save him AGAIN. him trying to go#through hell and high water trying to get him back. him and LBH are losing their shit. also the idea that YQY existed in SY's world too#not as an older brother but as a close childhood friend who was there for him for years up until their HS years where something happened#that caused a falling out. but YQY keeps trying to rekindle that friendship and never can in that world bc SY dies before they can reconnec#SQQ realizing that he misses YQY like a limb and thinking that if he sees him again he'll demand answers for his supposed abandonment but#also he just wants to hug him. just once. and then maybe punch him. not in that order. its the doomed soulmates guys. its the reconnection#obsessed obsessed obsessed. like HMMMM. SQQ knows YQY's fate from the book and the idea makes him so nauseous he has to sit down#bingqiu is fantastic but ALSO. QIJIU. 'SY-is-SJ' is decidedly perhaps my favorite trope for the time being if only for the pure and utter#self-hatred SY and SJ are going to inflict on each other. its about the mental breakdown guys. especially with chronically ill SY.#SJ hating SY for being sick. for being a shut in. they are a reflection of each other they ARE each other and they hate themselves#holding back from going off the rails about 'SY-is-SJ' au combined with him falling into the abyss#'no light no light' by florence and the machines is this au guys. ive decided it now
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First flower of my House, wilted
Harrow the Ninth, Muir/ Bradamante at Merlinās Tomb (detail), Alexandre-Evariste Fragonard/ The Great Flood (detail), Joseph-DĆ©sirĆ© Court/ Metamorphoses, Ovid/ Cemetery Statue in Green Mount Cemetery, Maryland/ Our Lady of Tears, Unfound/ Photography, Unfound/ Harrow the Ninth, Muir
#theme: harrow's grief in HTN#that stag cursed to stare into the eyes of his dead rival until his horns fall off....#forced to remember and grieve at his own detriment...#thats so htn griddlehark to me#harrow the ninth#tlt#gideon nav#harrowhark nonagesimus#the locked tomb#griddlehark#mine#this took wayy too goddamn long#but its my first crack at one of these!#hope ppl like it#i listened to the entirety of Preacher's Daughter sourcing this and it made me incredibly nauseous ā¤ļø#animal death/#cw: animal death#tw: animal death#web weaving
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Human Valdemar has to sleep ššš
I like to think they absolutely hate it - because they get less time at the hospital grgrgr how dare this human body hold them back !! >:(( I'm pretty sure they get like 4 hours of sleep every night and on their day off they just... take it to sleep and nothing else.
#I think they absolutely despise feeling tired#and the feeling of waking up too ; like they instantly want to be productive#my art#the arcana game#the arcana#I made them look so miserable jesus christ *sob*#my artstyle#quaestor valdemar#art#digital art#keeping up with the eepy val agenda no matter what#the arcana valdemar#fanart#artists on tumblr#human valdemar#valdemart#valdemar the arcana#modern au#my head and teeth hurt I feel nauseous and I am stressed and ready to kill someone
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Small redraw from over a year ago
#Iām not too excited about posting this#mostly because Iām not super happy with how it turned out#but I worked on this for hours at the airport while extremely nauseous#so I need to post it to make up for that lol#the flash#barry allen#batman#bruce wayne#superman#clark kent#dc comics#art#digital art#justice league
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Small headcanon; When he thinks or is absolutely Sure no one is watching or listening, Embarrassment will do things like sing or dance to himself. Letting loose and having fun while he's by himself, but would immediately die on the spot if he were to be caught in the act. Has a genuinely nice singing voice, truly kind of a goofball when he finds it Safe to do so.
#the idea if being caught doing a little jig makes him Physically Nauseous so. its as rare as it comes#i imagine sometimes he gets up early. earlier than everyone else to watch the dreams before sunrise and hums along#& the only others that may of seen him act out a little are Anxiety (she too is an early riser)#and Sadness. ofc#inside out embarrassment#inside out 2
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???? something something deep discomfort with body image is it generational?????????
#does your soul ever leave your body when your mom says something and youre like a) Ah. thats where this specific pain comes from#and b) not for anything would i perpetuate this to my own daughter should God bless me with one#anyway mother casually dropped mid conv that i ought to weigh myself once a week just to make sure i was eating right#and by Right she means not too much and not too much of what she considers Junk#also my soul left my BODY when i told her what i was wearing to the date tmr#(red pinafore mini dress with tights and a cute little cardigan situation that i actually feel GOOD in)#and she was like is your stomach bloated right now? if it is dont wear it#(the word she used can be bloated swollen or big in chinese)#MA'AM??????????#anyway im glad theres been fortifying work done in my heart bc this wouldve devastated me last year. absolutely CRUSHED me.#but im like okay........ well i look cute and im at a healthy weight. and im starting to eat better. and i only feel nauseous#thinking abt food occasionally. and i dont weigh and measure myself daily anymore. so thats progress.#also i personally think i look cute in that outfit so i think i SHALL wear it tmr.#anyway. thoughts!!!!!
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that body never belonged to you in the first place
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk 261 spoilers#megumi fushiguro#sukuna#itadori yuuji#gojo satoru#kenjaku#chat am i exaggerating or are the horrors of having your body possessed real#the amount of times that a character has been possessed or had their body used as a weapon makes me nauseous#itadori being the main example#it made me so sick when he had to come back to himself after shibuya and see everything that sukuna did#like yeah i would throw up too#also i canāt think about megumi without getting a little sick to my stomach#maybe iām just exaggerating bc i get emotional like that but#imagine having to watch ur sister kind of turn into a monster after a year of her being in a curse induced coma#and then you watch your friend also get his body possessed by the king of curses which then leads into YOU getting your body possessed by#the king of curses who then fights and kills your sister ā¦ in your body ā¦#like yeah i wouldnāt wanna go back on the battlefield either#also theyāre like fifteen and going through all of this like goddamn#too much bodily possession in jjkā¦. now gojoās being reduced reused recycled#for good cause of course#but still#this is heavy
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guys... they can kiss whenever they want now š«
#there could be so many more on the horizon#and so many kinds of kisses too#im feeling weak#and nauseous#I'm so so happy#ofmd#our flag means death#ofmd s2 spoilers#meow speaks
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adam and lawrence standing opposite one another for the first time once theyāve both recovered enough and adam losing his mind a little ācause yeah, heās seen lawrence, heās stalked him, camera in hand and spent what felt like a lifetime chained up across the room from him, heās had hours in his darkroom, music blaring as photo after photo of lawrence stares back at him, heās been up close and personal as lawrence promised to come back, as adam begged him not to leave and heās sat next to lawrenceās hospital bed during their joint recovery. heās seen lawrence, sure. but only from a distance, only lying down. so when heās suddenly stood a few feet in front of the guy? when lawrence moves closer, still, and adam realises that he has to tilt his head up to look at him? when he realises that lawrence has to bend a little when he wants to murmur something to adam, just low enough that no one else will hear? when lawrence comments on their height difference for the first time, teasing but not mean, well .. yeah. maybe adam realises he has a little thing for it. or whatever
#i just know he is not normal about it. at all#i think that if lawrence was mean about it adam would activate like a sleeper agent nd drop to his knees instantly. just blackout & get#straight to it#Sorry for being correct ! i guess#lawrence: [something vaguely mean nd bitchy in reference to their respective heights]#adam suddenly so hard hes nauseous: wh- yeah ok. what? sorry uh. what#chainshipping#š¹#size difference in general goes a little crazy to be honest#makes me wanna go to that highest point in the uk place nd take a running dive#adam would be sick for that too you understand#twirling his hair nd kicking his feet āhey lawrence i bet our hands are the same size .. oh haha thats crazy wdym yours are bigger so hows#the divorce going? finalised yet? nearly? no reason just wondering .. anyway ..ā
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Hi, Sorry to bother you, I'm just an anon who loves your art. It's just that I haven't seen you on Tumblr in the last weeks and I just hope that you're all right. I wanted to send you good vibes and wish you a good week. Also, I wanted to thank you for your incredible art and stories. I love your work and I hope and wish that you're okay. I'm looking forward to your come back but take all the time you need, absolutely no pressure. Your well-being is more important. I'll stop talking now. Bye !
Awww, thank you, that means a lot!! š„ŗšš„ŗ
I've been ill for the couple last weeks (which is nothing new, because everyone who knows me also knows that I'm always ill) but this time nobody is sure what it actually is, so it's lots of: 'see if those meds do anything - oh no (nothing happens beside me being drowsy as fuck)' so I have been conserving my energy for the days where work is not avoidable and pured the rest into writing some papers I have a deadline for (about sepsis. yeeee)
#when I tell y'all I am done I mean it gosh#I do appreciate it that my absence has been... noticed? Very sweet anon!#the one amusing thing that has been filled my sleepless nights is that I've been rewatching malpractice md#I too wanna be rude while I show like twenty ethical guidelines the middlefinger and pop some pills#but I'm only nauseous all the time and still stay nice#even though I wanna go BATSHIT crazy#uurghhh#when will I continue with art?? who knows#you know I would love to use this blog to talk but then I also don't talk so there is that
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who wants to be the gumball watterson to my darwin watterson? (Im lonely as fuck)
#im so nauseous rn gang#I ate too much. feeling like caseoh!! /j#(I love Caseoh btw)#anyway. erm#yeah im also kinda sad and also angry and tired but im also like really happy?? HELP#anyway. someone be the gumball to my darwin. hey#I could use an anais too#tawog#the amazing world of gumball#darwin watterson#gumball watterson
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wow I didnāt think reblogging that tea post and then seeing peopleās tags would deal me such strong psychic damage. come over I can fix you I can find a tea you will like. āI donāt like teaā how can you say that as a blanket statement when there are so many vastly different kinds of tea. head in hands
#āitās like coffee but not goodā#while a cup of black tea does have a great deal less caffeine in it than coffee#it also has a stimulant called l-theanine which is NOT found in coffee#and the more complex combination of the two stimulants hit your system much more slowly#which is why tea doesnāt give you jitters like coffee does#anyone whoās like wow I need my coffee to survive but I hate that it makes me nauseous and gives me heart palpitations and bad breath#to you I say. wean yourself off coffee and onto tea!!!!!!!#but WAIT I can keep going. nauseous? ginger tea. sore throat? peppermint contains menthol which works as a numbing agent#green and black teas are both very high in antioxidants#chamomile and lavender do both have a calming affect#BUT WHAT ABOUT THE TASTE I hear you say#IT TASTES LIKE GRASS. try a floral tea or a black tea or chai or Thai tea#ITS SO BITTER youāre either steeping it for too long or the water youāre using is too hot#not to sound like Iām fucking uncle iroh or something I just apparnerlt have strong thoughts and feelings about tea#I canāt handle ppl going ugh I hate tea and itās like. overbrewed lipton in microwaved tap water.#anyway MY favorites are jasmine and lavender earl grey#and currently Iām really into this corn silk tea my brother bought me at h mart#itās like gen mai cha but even more#congrats for making it this far into my tea rant tags. if you comment your tastes I can give you a personalized tea recommendation
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i got sick š§š»āāļø
#i cannot make this up bro#i think i have a stomach bug or something because i canāt eat anything without my stomach fighting back#Iāve had a fever all day too and Iāve been SO nauseous#literally what is my luck breh#anyway#i will post eventually my bad yall#jess talks
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Younger liberals in my social media echo chambers: Ha, Kamala Harris is going to kick Trump's ass! Can you imagine his tantrum when he loses to a woman? I can't wait to elect our first female President this November!
Me:
#not rebloggable because I don't think spreading doomerism is helpful#but uh. I'm doomspiraling today y'all. like physically nauseous with anxiety#it's just. so many people are SO confident in a harris victory. but afaik trump is still projected to win the electoral college#and i know. i know! there's still so much time. harris has barely started campaigning. hasn't even announced her vp#i just. i CANNOT get my hopes up and then have a repeat of 2016. i genuinely didn't think there was even a CHANCE of trump winning#if you were too young to be involved in the 2016 election PLEASE hear my plea - you CANNOT take this for granted#get involved. volunteer. vote and make everyone you know vote. ESPECIALLY in swing states#us politics
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