#that person who’s everything you’ve ever wanted to be. who’s so amazing and shines so brightly and

[shootingstareon]

“You took everything from me-!”

[sttoru]

‘and if i only could, i’d make a deal with god, and i’d get him to swap our places. .’ — kate bush

 𝝑𝑒 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒. gojo satoru x wife!reader. fluff to angst (no comfort). spoilers chapter 261. reader’s pregnant. major character death. mentions of blood, death. nicknames ‘pretty, sweets’. not proofread bcs i couldn't through the tears. i cried nine times writing this so.. good luck! wc: 3.6k

“he’s kicking again,” satoru chuckles excitedly. he’s been clinging onto you ever since you got back from your doctor’s appointment. your baby boy is growing up healthy and there don’t seem to be any complications.

you smile and rest back against the velvety pillows. you’re enjoying the affection you’re receiving, the kisses and nuzzles against your swollen tummy makes every bit of suffering worth it. your husband is going to be an amazing dad, that you can tell.

“hey, little guy—don’t give ya mommy a tough time,” satoru huffs and gently taps the side of your stomach that was last kicked by the unborn baby, “that’s my wife, y’know?” you giggle at the scene in front of you and close your eyes, relaxing your body.

a comfortable silence hangs in the room. satoru’s warm hands cupping and rubbing your round stomach add to the tranquil atmosphere. the weight of your husband’s head presses onto the front of your plump belly—ear pressed against the stretched skin as if expecting to hear your baby boy talk.

after a while, you open your eyes. you hear a sniff and then the usual silence follows. you look down at satoru settled between your legs, hugging your waist and resting his cheek on your tummy. he’s awfully quiet and you’re unable to see his eyes because of his bangs.

“toru, everything okay?” you carefully ask. your voice comforts him for the next couple seconds, before his muscles tense up once more. satoru tries his best to seem unaffected by the many thoughts scurrying through his head.

“mhm,” your husband nods and forces a small smile. though, he can’t keep the facade up any longer. the longer you’re pregnant, the more worried he gets about a certain something; something that’s been bothering him ever since.

it’s the reason why he doubted even having kids in the first place.

“i—well. i don’t know, sweets,” satoru sighs. a deep sigh that shatters the mask he’s had on for so long. his brows furrow and his eyes dart from one place to the other. his fingers stop their movements on your stomach. they curl around the material of your shirt instead; showing a clear sense of vulnerability.

satoru seems. . . afraid, yet also angry. perhaps at himself, perhaps at the world. you don’t utter a single word. if there’s anything you want, it’s for your husband to speak about his inner turmoil freely. you’re the only person who he can have such emotional conversations with—the only person he can be himself with.

the real gojo satoru.

not the strongest.

that’s why you’re not surprised when satoru opens his mouth to confess the inevitable to you. “i’m scared,” his voice cracks. it’s a faint change in tone, but it is noticeable to you. you’ve been his lover for long enough to notice every minuscule thing.

the white-haired man lets out another sigh. you brush his soft bangs out of his eyes and instantly notice the sudden weariness in them. normally, those beautiful blue eyes shine brightly, yet that light has now dimmed.

you pat his head and satoru immediately leans into your touch. you allow him to process his own emotions and words before speaking up.

“scared?” you ask quietly and carefully, giving your husband space to explain.

satoru nods. there are a thousand thoughts running through his mind. all those thoughts he’s tried to suppress since the day you’ve announced your pregnancy. maybe even before that—at the day of your wedding.

he’s sat down with you a few months into the marriage, to have the talk about kids. he seemed to be delighted to have children with you, however there have always been some dark and hidden thoughts lingering in the back of his mind.

the sorcerer has chosen to ignore them for the longest time. he’s been trying to convince himself that he has nothing to worry about. you’re going to be fantastic parents and your children are going to be extremely loved.

the day you surprised him with your pregnancy, was like a dream. satoru cried - which he rarely does - so it was an emotional night for both of you. neither of you could wait to meet your child—happy with whatever gender.

despite all of the optimism and enthusiasm, satoru’s struggles with his inner thoughts have not yet ended. he doesn’t want to bother you with it. you seem so content and he does not want to ruin that at all.

but even the strongest without limits has to reach a breaking point.

“yeah,” satoru speaks up, his voice hoarse. he kisses your belly button, hoping his child doesn’t pick up on his distress somehow. your husband closes his eyes as he places his forehead against your tummy, praying that the heavens above hear his pleas, “i don’t want our kid to inherit my cursed techniques. at all.”

your hand doesn’t stop stroking satoru’s hair. you don’t flinch at his words, nor do you immediately discard his worries. in all honestly, you’ve shared the same feelings before getting pregnant.

you know how satoru’s treated by the jujutsu society. it’s dehumanising how he’s seen as a weapon of some sorts. a weapon that could solve all problems—one that cannot rest until its duty is done.

you despise it. you’ve told satoru about your hatred for the toxic society, even going as far as asking him to move to a different country without telling anyone. you’re sick and tired. you can’t recall the amount of times that you’ve cried alone, in the bathroom, after you’ve seen the state your lover comes back home in.

the white-haired man always seems so tired. his eyes and head hurt because of them overusing his cursed techniques. there are even days where satoru doesn’t put his blindfold or sunglasses off at home.

and when you try to talk to him about it, satoru simply assures you that ‘he’ll be fine’. you believe him in the moment, but you don’t know for how long you’ll be able to keep that trust.

you’re letting him break, slowly yet surely, right in front of you. he’s working himself to his demise. it’s nothing out of the ordinary to not want the same for your child.

though, you’re sure that it’ll be fine even if your baby boy inherits satoru’s techniques. that’s because you two are going to protect him with all you have. no one is going to treat your child like a weapon—not while the both of you are still alive.

“i don’t want our child to take over the burden i carry,” satoru continues. his brows are furrowed and his lips are pressed into a thin line. he’s already thinking about all the possibilities that can follow with the birth of your son.

he can hide his child from the world, but wouldn’t that be too restrictive? he can keep an eye on him every second of the day, but wouldn’t that be overprotective?

you notice satoru’s internal state of panic increasing, so you quickly cup his face. you lean down and press a firm kiss against his lips, to which he instantly responds. his breath hitches and he sits up on the mattress, deepening the kiss as his hands hold you by the back of your head.

he needs this—you—more than anything else in the world. if it wasn’t for you, he’d have lost his sanity long ago.

you pull back after a good minute and pant. you chuckle as you notice the slight pout on satoru’s lips. he never seems satisfied with just one kiss, which is adorable. you coo and pepper his face with small pecks, “aww.”

it’s comforting to the sorcerer. he closes his eyes and his mouth forms a small smile. you’re doing an amazing job at calming him down. satoru’s muscles relax and he finds himself nestled between your legs soon enough.

you realise that he’s still somewhat afraid for the future of his child by the way he’s playing with your shirt. his head lays on your chest and his long fingers trace shapes on your exposed skin.

“i know, honey, i know,” you murmur against the top of his head. you massage satoru’s scalp gently, nearly making him purr because of how incredible that feels. you stare at the ceiling and continue your little talk.

“i’ve thought about all of it too,” your fingers find his undercut, playing with the little hairs. all you can hope for is that your partner stresses less about the outcome of your pregnancy.

if you can do one thing for him, it’d be that. reassuring him that you’ll both do your best for your child will surely put him at ease. your husband has enough to worry about anyway.

you want to share that burden. you don’t want him to carry the world on his shoulders alone—he’s got you for that now.

“but i think that our son will be fine. why? because he’s got you,” you smile and kiss satoru’s forehead. it’s his favorite type of kiss and it works wonders when you comfort him. his ocean eyes regain their sparkle, both because of your unconditional love and trust in his parenting skills, “our boy will grow up fine and protected because he’s got you as his amazing dad, yeah?”

satoru takes some time to let your words sink in. your trust in him is a beautiful thing. of course, he’ll protect his kid no matter what. both you and his kid will be safe for as long as he’s alive. you’re going to be a happy family—one that he’s always dreamed of having.

he isn’t going to raise his child to be the strongest. he isn’t going to raise his child as an heir to the throne. he isn’t going to raise his child as his legacy. he isn’t going to raise his child as a tool.

his son will have a normal childhood and he will guarantee that. satoru will give his kid what he didn’t have as a child himself;

unconditional love and support for whatever his son wishes to become.

satoru raises his head and leans in to kiss you, hugging you to himself. he adores you so much, you’re all he needs to feel like he can do anything and everything all at once.

carrying the world on his shoulders so you can live peacefully in it is all satoru does it for.

“heh, damn right. i’ll be the best husband and dad ever.”

. . .

but in the end, your dreams are just dreams, right?

an escape from reality, that’s all dreams really are. all those times you’ve sat together to pick the furniture you want to place in the nursery, to paint the room a baby blue, to buy clothes and toys, diapers and carriers, to giggle about the places you would love to visit as a family, to think about possible baby names, to joke about whether your son will say ‘dada’ or ‘mama’ first — all of it were naive, hopeful dreams.

perhaps you were too caught up in them to realise that reality will hit when least expected.

satoru and you have lived in your own bubble—your own little fantasy world where tragic fates does not exist. no one in this planet would suffer if life worked that way.

no one on this planet would have to pick up the phone and have their world shatter, their dream bubble pop. to have all hope lost in the span of a second.

grief is a scary thing. it’s devastating and it will consume you whole. you don’t realise that until you experience it firsthand. losing someone close to you will break you in half. it’s a punch to the gut.

especially if it’s your husband. someone you considered your partner—who’s promised you to be together forever. maybe those promises were also a part of your fantasy.

maybe they were also but a beautiful lie.

your footsteps feel heavy. you don’t have any energy left in you. every drop has been drained from you the moment you heard the news over the phone. your eyes and head hurt, both feeling like they’re going to burst. you don’t want to accept any of this.

the faces of the people around you are a blur. they’re all holding their head low, their hands gathered in front of them to show respect. no one speaks—all the room is filled with are your sobs. the loud cries you let out in hopes that they wake you up from this absolute nightmare.

you drag your feet to the examination table in the middle of the room. tears continue to blur your vision, though surely, you can confirm the outline of the body laying underneath the blanket.

how could you not recognise the person you thought you’d spend eternity with?

it’s unfair. it’s unfair. it’s unfair. it’s unfair. it’s unfair. it’s unfair. it’s unfair. it’s unfair. it’s unfair. it’s unfair. . .

“satoru.” your voice is barely audible. your hands are shaking and your face is stained with endless streams of tears. you stand at the side of the table and you instantly curl your fingers around the edge.

seeing that face from up close hits different. usually, it’d have your stomach fill with a feeling of delight, yet now all you feel when looking at it is unimaginable dread.

the blood on the corners of his mouth. the blanket that’s hiding whatever is left of him from below the waist. the dull eyes that once stared at you with hope and love. those dried lips that normally shone with a layer of gloss.

god, it’s awful. you don’t want this to be true. you’re still waiting to be woken up by your husband. so he can hold you close and hug you, whisper sweet nothings and reassure you that he’d never leave you alone in a savage world like this.

your shaky fingers reach out to his right hand. his skin feels cold and his hand doesn’t hold yours back. your breath hitches and you let out a long, devastating cry. it sounds like a scream for help as your body crumbles—falling to your knees whilst you tightly grip your lover’s limp hand.

“no, god no, please!” you cover your mouth with your free hand, nearly hyperventilating from pure pain. you feel like your heart is going to give up on you. it’s breaking into a million pieces, as does your future. you can’t live without him—you can't do it.

satoru is the sole reason you’ve held out for so long. you were each other’s support system. you can’t do any of this on your own. you can’t breathe properly—your body doesn’t let you.

not until you feel a hand on your back, rubbing it gently. you can guess that it’s shoko, but you’re too distraught to even pay attention to her. you lift yourself up by holding onto the edge of the table, your legs shaking. you sniffle and sob uncontrollably.

you reach out to touch satoru’s lifeless face, as gentle as you always do. you flinch when you feel just how cold his body is—the usual warmth that would comfort you gone, nowhere to be found. you don’t get a reaction from him when you touch his cheeks.

it only serves to remind you of the tragic events that unveiled. you’re still in denial, but the moment feels real. your brain is slowly yet surely processing the information. though, you don’t want it to. you want to live in a world where you grow old with your husband.

where your child is going to grow up with a father figure at home.

“satoru, come back to me.. to us, please,” you beg and beg, hoping he smiles and sits up, telling you that it’s just one of his silly pranks again. when none of that happens, you feel yourself become more hopeless. you hunch over him and cup his face. the same face that would light up whenever you’d touch it.

you hiccup and wail, unable to breathe. you rub his cheekbones with your thumbs, settling your forehead against his. your tears fall underneath his eyes and slide down his temples, making it seem like he’s crying with you.

you wait for satoru to respond, but he doesn’t. there’s an eerie silence on his part and you’re panicking. you need him to comfort you, but he isn’t there to do that anymore. you’re left alone, all alone.

“i can’t do this without you—we can’t do this without you,” you stammer between sobs. you can’t go through life, knowing satoru isn’t going to be there for you. he isn’t going to come home anymore. he isn’t going to cuddle you to sleep anymore. he isn’t going to experience what it’s like to have a family of his own. he isn't going to be able to hold his child and to play with him.

you blame life for being unfair—always taking away the people who don’t deserve it. satoru hasn’t done anything to deserve this. he just.. existed. his fate of becoming the strongest, decided at his birth, is what has lead to his death.

you continue to sob to yourself. you refuse to acknowledge anything or anyone else in the room. you’re solely focused on your husband. or rather, what’s left of him.

remembering how excited satoru was to spend the rest of his life with you and your future children pains you all the more. he’s been stripped from a normal life. you’ve tried your hardest to give him that said normal life, yet your hopeful dreams have gotten you nowhere.

you wipe your tears away for the first time in a while. your grief is making you delusional—disoriented to the point you try to make yourself feel better. you force a smile and hold tightly onto satoru’s limp hand, trying to speak through your quiet sniffles.

“o-our boy is gonna be born soon,” you chuckle bitterly and place satoru’s hand on your belly. it’s gotten bigger over the months and you’re already eight months along. he was so close to meeting your child—so close. yet his tragic destiny did not allow him to.

you hope he’s been happy with you for as long as he lived. you hope you’ve somewhat relieved him from his misery for as long as he lived. that burden he carried, the world he carried on his shoulders. . . it doesn’t seem to want to detach from him. even after death.

you press a deep kiss against his forehead. satoru’s favorite spot to be kissed at, you remember. you wish he feels it in the afterlife; wherever he may he. as long as he’s in a better place now, one that treats him well. this current world has been too cruel on him. it doesn’t deserve to home someone like your husband.

“i wish you were here to see your son. to see our baby grow up, you'd be so proud, honey,” you kiss satoru’s forehead again. it’s all you can do stop yourself from losing it completely. you know satoru would tell you to be strong, for his sake. for your unborn son.

“i’m going to tell him all about you, ‘kay? i'm going to tell him about how awesome his dad was,” your voice breaks for the nth time. you’re still in the first stage of grief, though you try to seem strong in case satoru is watching from somewhere.

that’s what he did when he was the one going through a tough time. he’d act brave and fine, putting on a mask to make you worry less, telling you all kinds of reassuring words while he was suffering internally.

now it’s your turn to safely send his soul off to the afterlife. to let satoru pass away in peace, with him knowing that you’re going to live on for him and for your child. it’s the least you can do at the moment.

you put on a brave face, staring into his lifeless eyes, smiling through the unbearable pain. you’re sure he’s still listening to you from somewhere. satoru’s always told you that your voice is soothing, so you do your best to calm his soul and reassure him that it’s fine for him to rest.

“i’ll do my best to raise him, yeah? so you.. you just rest.”

rest was a foreign word to the sorcerer. this world didn’t give him an ounce of peace. he’d either be overworked by his family or the jujutsu society, and if it isn’t work, his inherited techniques were slowly killing his brain and body.

you’re praying that satoru has none of that in the afterlife. you’re praying that he can live a normal life, eternally. so that when you join him one day, you both won’t have to suffer nor share the burden. you can live out your dreams without anyone interrupting.

not even fate.

“you deserve to rest. you really do,” you sigh.

soon enough, you feel yourself crumble again. you burst out in tears once you realise that he’s actually never coming back to you in this life. you bury your face in the crook of his neck and sob loudly, not holding back your emotions anymore. you just can’t—you can’t act brave when your second half has been taken away from you so suddenly.

you hope that you succeeded into sending him off without any worries. you can’t help but continue rambling to yourself, “i’m going to miss you s’much. oh, my baby.”

you lift your head back and stare into satoru’s eyes once more. did he think about you when he was on his deathbed? did he see his life flash before his eyes, including his many memories with you? did he see what could have been?

it’s unfair.

you give him one last bright smile and gently close his eyelids for him, hoping his lost soul saw your face before you did so. with one last kiss on his lips, you whisper your final words;

“please wait for me on the other side, my love.”

[buckys-wintersoldier]

Hii! If it’s okay, totally okay if not!

Can I please request a TFAWS!Bucky x fem!reader where she is his next door neighbor and they first meet when she’s moving into the apartment complex, and struggling to carry in all of her stuff. Bucky, ever the sweet gentleman he is, offers to help her move in and carries her stuff.🥹 And they spend a lot of time together in her apartment that day getting to know each other. After that they’re best friends (who obviously have a growing love for each other) and often spend time with each other in both his apartment and her apartment. Bucky even starts taking her to his lunches with Yori (who definitely catches on and points out the feeling between the two of them hehe) and eventually introduces her to Sam (who also can see the pair love each other). Many situations bring the two of them closer together, like one day when Bucky saves her from a group of men who followed her home from work, and also another time when Y/n (who now has an extra key to Bucky’s apartment, and he has one to hers) hears Bucky having a nightmare and she goes into his apartment, crawls into his arms, and lays down with him on the floor of his apartment to calm him down🥺 Anyways, they’re both idiots in love and finally confess their love each other after so long of being just “best friends”🥺

Hi! Thank you for the sweet request. This is an amazing, cute, adorable and just lovely request. The way both of them find their way to one another and it just so cute. The end isn’t the best I guess but yeah. I’m sorry it took me so long to write it but I finally finished it! I hope you like and enjoy it.

More than everything | B.B

Your new neighbour helps you to move in but soon he is way more than just your neighbour. Your best friend, the one you can talk about everything, he knows every secret, except one.

Pairing -> Neighbour!BestFriend!Bucky Barnes x Neighbour!BestFriend!Fem!Reader

Wordcount -> 7.371 Words

Warnings -> fluff, lots of fluff, idiots in love, some weird guys, nightmares, love confession

Authors Note -> I want to thank @thevillainswhore for proofreading! Thank you so much, my love! I love you!❤️ All and every mistakes are my own.

Events -> Seasonal Delights Bingo: Types of love | G4 | being calmed down by a familiar person's presence | @seasonaldelightsbingo | Fandom Free Bingo: Book Night Edition | B4 | Baby Just Say Yes | @fandom-free-bingo | Fandom Free Bingo: Frosty Edition | G2 | Wiping away tears | @fandom-free-bingo | Build-A-Bucky Bingo | June | Meddling Best Friend | @buckybarnesevents

Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist

Sweat runs down your face as you lift one of the heavy boxes out of your car. You haven’t even started to move your stuff into your new apartment, yet you feel like you’ve carried an elephant around. The sun is shining a lot today, heating the air and there’s not much of a cool breeze that could help you to cool down.

With a groan, your fingers clutch onto the box tighter. You feel the slow movement of it slipping from your grasp, so you try to squeeze it so it won’t fall down. You’re not sure what’s in the box, but it’s heavy and you can’t have all of your stuff laying around in the ground in front of your apartment.

“Need help?” A rough voice startles you. Spinning on your heel, you turn to face the person who stands there and your mouth drops open while your eyes widen.

The man who stands there with a soft smile tugging at his beautiful plump lips has short brown hair and wears a hoodie and gloves. You secretly wonder if it’s not too warm underneath all those layers of fabric. He reaches out to place his big hands underneath the box you carry and lifts it up like it weighs nothing. You notice the muscles working underneath his hoodie when he holds the carton.

“H-Hi! U-uhm, I would love to accept the offer but I don’t want to interrupt you from whatever you were doing,” you mumble, face palming yourself when the words leave your lips. He wouldn’t offer you his help if he was busy. Instead of judging you he just chuckles, his ocean blue eyes sparkle and his nose scrunches ever so slightly.

“Of course, doll! I’m Bucky, and you?” He asks, looking straight into your eyes and causing your knees to buckle. Bucky’s laugh, his voice — he is just so perfect. You’re not sure if he is just an imagination in your mind or if you’re hallucinating because of the heat and limited drinking.

Clearing his throat, Bucky pulls you out of your thoughts and gets your attention back. “I- I’m y/n. Nice to meet you, Bucky,” you say, smirking softly with heat creeping up your cheeks. You reach into your car once again to get another box out to carry.

“You can place it on top of this one, put two on top,” he says with a grin at you. You narrow your eyes, placing another box on the one he has already in his arms before reaching in to grab another carton.

“It’s heavy to carry that much, Bucky,” you chuckle, but place the third box into his arms as well. With a grunt, he almost falls forward, scaring you before standing straight again. He starts laughing softly, winking at you as you grab a box for yourself to carry into your apartment.

“I once lifted a whole engine for a friend, so your boxes aren’t that heavy compared to a ship engine,” Bucky says. You shake your head, smirking before making your way to the front door and into the apartment complex. “Which floor?”

“Second.” Bucky nods, grinning. As you walk up the stairs and along the floor the two of you walk closer and closer to his apartment, and his smirk grows with every step closer to your apartment.

While you think you embrassed yourself in front of this handsome and sweet man with your stutter and dropped jaw earlier, he only thinks it makes you adorable. There wasn’t someone in a while who looked at him with such softness in their expression — someone who doesn’t seem to know who he was, who gives him the chance to get to know him as the person he is now.

“Oh!” Bucky says when you stop in front of your door to fish the keys out of your pocket. You turn around, tilting your head as he chuckles. “Hi, next door neighbor.”

You giggle. For a moment you’re sure he is making a joke, but he just nods toward the door next to yours and grins even wider. Your eyes widen as you look to the door, then back to him.

“I don’t want to interrupt that sweet little moment where you stare at me and my apartment door because you find out that I live next to you…. But these boxes are going to be too heavy for me to carry soon,” Bucky says and nods at the boxes he is still holding in his arms. You gasp, taking the keys and unlocking the door with an apologetic smile. “It was a joke, I don’t mind carrying those boxes for you all day.”

You roll your eyes playfully, letting Bucky walk into your apartment and follow behind. “You’re the best, thank you so much!” You say as you both place the boxes on the floor.

“Don’t thank me yet, we have a lot more to carry,” Bucky tells you, walking a step closer to you and placing his big hands on the small of your back, pushing you toward the door. Instead of flinching of his sudden touch, you giggle softly, liking the warmth of his soft touch.

The two of you carry all your stuff into your apartment and while Bucky looks like he hasn’t done anything all day, you feel your aching muscles. You sigh deeply when you finally are able to let yourself fall down on the couch.

“How can you still look so— so handsome, so good like you haven’t carried so many boxes and all,” you ask, eyes roaming over his tall body while he stands in front of you. Bucky chuckles, leaning back against the wall behind him. His tongue pokes out, gliding over his lips to wet them and cause them to glisten.

“How about I get some food for the two of us, there is that nice restaurant just a block away,” he suggests and you nod immediately. He pushes himself off the wall, turning around to make his way out of the apartment.

“Wait!” You shout, causing him to stop in his tracks and turn back to you. “Uhm- let me find my wallet.”

Bucky laughs, shaking his head and walking further to the door. “You don’t have to pay me for dinner, and also not for helping you to carry those boxes, so no ‘buts’ here.”

With a sigh, you chuckle and Bucky makes his way to get the food. He already likes you a lot, you’re a sweet and nice person, no judging. He’s sure you wonder why he wears a hoodie and gloves even though it’s hot, but he also appreciates that you haven’t asked him about it, so he doesn’t have to lie to you .

— —

After Bucky came back with the food the two of you sat there in your new apartment, talked and ate. The conversation flowed between the two of you and you feel like you’ve  known Bucky for so long already. He is a sweet and gentle man, taking care of you and making you laugh. Plus his voice and laugh is the most beautiful thing you have ever heard, you could listen to him all day and you would never be tired of it nor him.

The connection between you and Bucky gets stronger with every day. The two of you spend a lot of days in your or his apartment and he becomes your best friend. You know you can trust him, you can tell him everything and he knows it as well.

One night a few weeks ago, Bucky came over in just a t-shirt, asking you if he is allowed to sleep on your couch because he can’t stand the quietness in his apartment. You offered him to sleep in bed with you, knowing that he would never touch you unless you allow him to do so but he shook his head.

“I-I would just love to sleep on the couch, you know,” Bucky mumbled, scratching the back of his head while he looked at you with sleepy eyes. He looked tired, not just because he fell out of his bed, but also because he was suffering from nightmares again.

Your scent is always calming to him. It was his first thought as he was sitting on his makeshift bed for the night, sweat running down his body. Bucky would love to say yes to sleeping in a bed with you, but he knew that his nightmares can cause him to punch something next to him and he didn’t want to risk hurting you.

“Are you okay, Buck? Do you need anything, I can make you tea,” you offered, bushing your fingers softly over his stubble. But again, he smiled softly and shook his head. Your touch was so soft, so loving and he got lost for a moment until you nodded and placed a pillow and a blanket on the couch.

“You know… we can also build a blanket fort,” you suggested with a grin, but Bucky just chuckled and patted  the space next to him.

You sat down, turning to look at your best friend. He smiled, his fingers fidgeting in his lap as you place yours on his and hold his big hands in your smaller ones.

“We don’t have to, if it makes you uncomfortable,” you said, smiling as softly as possible while you stroked your thumb over the back of his hand.

“I-I would love to… but…” Bucky stuttered, his eyes were roaming over your face, trying to find anything that told him that you judge him. However, he could only find nothing but pure love, affection and understanding.

“I just… you remember what I told you about my arm and my past?” You nodded, narrowing your eyes. Bucky inhaled deeply, bringing one of your hands to his metal arm, letting you touch it. He always let you do it, since the day you told him that this arm is a part of him, it makes him special. But you also told him that his arm doesn’t tell who he is because even though he was the winter soldier and had a metal arm there too — it was a different one plus he was under the control of people who used him. But it wasn’t him.

With that he allowed you to touch his arm, it was even claiming for him because you weren’t afraid of him. You accepted and loved him, with the metal arm, with his story. It makes him feel like home.

“I dream about it, almost every night. But when I fell asleep the last time here, I didn't have nightmares. But-but I sometimes punch something so I don’t want to hurt you,” Bucky confessed. You couldn’t help the small quirk of your lips — he felt so comfortable that he doesn’t even have nightmares. But you also couldn’t help the glisten of your eyes; it was awful to know that those dreams made him struggle.

“I’m sorry to hear that. You can always sleep here if you want. And just for you to know… I can take care of myself so if you ever want to cuddle, just tell me, I’m sure I can take care of you and also that you won't hurt me,” you assured him, leaning closer to press a soft kiss on his cheek, causing him to blush softly. He nodded with a thankful smile, bringing your hand to his lips and kissing the back of it with a grin on his beautiful lips.

“Thank you, doll. Now go to sleep, I’m sure you’re tired. I don’t want to keep you awake just because I can’t sleep,” he smirked, letting go of you to let you go back to bed, but you stayed where you were and just let your eyes roam over his handsome face a while longer.

“You sure? I don’t mind staying up with you a while longer if it helps you,” you said but he nodded, assuring you that he is fine. “You can turn on the television if you need some background noises.”

With that, you got up and walked back into your bedroom. Bucky smiled softly, leaning back before getting comfortable and turning on the television. Your scent surrounded him and he fell asleep pretty quick, relishing the first good sleep he’d had in weeks.

That was a few weeks ago and even though Bucky loves sleeping at your apartment, sometimes he is out late and doesn’t want to wake you. Plus he wants to give you some privacy. You’re not dating anyone, but as much as he loves your company, he doesn’t want to scare you away.

With time, you become his everything. You’re the one who holds him when he thinks he falls — you’re the one, his one. And even though his feelings get stronger, he hasn’t told you yet. He’s too scared — maybe you don’t feel the same and he will destroy the friendship you both developed so perfectly.

Bucky knocks at your door. He is on his way to his dinner with Yori but he has to see you. He told the older man a lot about you, but he hasn’t introduced the two of you yet.

In one of Bucky’s hoodies — the one you picked out of his wardrobe when the two of you made a mess in the kitchen — you walk to the door and open it. Your face immediately lights up as you see your best friend, who's smiling softly at you.

“Doll! I’m just on my way to dinner with Yori, wanting to check after you—,”  his voice trails off, looking you up and down. His blue eyes light up as he notices the hoodie you’re wearing, and his nose scrunches with the slight curl of his lips. “Looking good in my clothes, sweetheart.”

You giggle, ducking your head to try and hide the warmth that coats your cheeks. You play with your fingers in front of you, then you look up to meet his intense blue eyes. They look so soft and there is nothing but love and affection in them when he looks at you.

“I’m fine, thank you, Buck. Just came home from work, going to make myself some dinner and then watch a movie, probably,” you say. Bucky narrows his eyes, tilting his head slightly and he looks just adorable like that. “Don’t worry, not gonna watch our series without you! Hope you enjoy dinner with Yori, tell him ‘Hey’ from me.”

Bucky nods, he doesn’t want to move, he would prefer to stare at you a while longer — maybe just forever. He knows the two of you are meeting the next day for your movie night, but he wants to be around you all the time. He inhales deeply, looking toward the kitchen — there is no smell of food, yet.

“W-would you like to join us?” Bucky stumbles over his words. “He would love to meet you, and I would love to have you around. But only if you want to of course!” He hopes that you agree and go out with him — even though it’s not a date, but for him it’s pretty close to one.

Your smile widens as you nod. “Sure! But I have to change clothes, pretty fast— at least my pants.” With that you’re walking into your bedroom to change. Your heart races and the butterflies in your stomach go wild — it’s just a dinner with Bucky and a friend of his. But at the same time it's dinner with Bucky, who is going to introduce you to one of his friends.

Within a few minutes, you made yourself ready for dinner and walked back to Bucky, who was waiting patiently waiting for you with a soft smile tugging at his lips.

“We should put some of my hoodies into your wardrobe so you can always wear them,” he mumbles, his eyes roaming up and down your body and taking every inch in. You look stunning — like always.

You don’t have to wear a dress. Bucky loves you in everything, sweethearts and t-shirts or pants and hoodie. For him you’re always stunning. He can’t take his eyes off you, when he sleeps at yours and you get up in the morning — hair messy and you’re all sleepy. You look like the cutest thing he has ever seen.

“Lets goooo!” You giggle, taking your phone and keys and walking out of your apartment. Bucky closes the door behind you, walking next to you along the floor and out of the building.

Bucky has told you a lot about Yori already, they go out for dinner once or twice a week. Always the same bar and always the same food and drinks but Bucky loves the company of the older man. Even if he has been asking him about you pretty often recently. But Bucky doesn’t mind, he can’t seem to stop talking about how beautiful and sweet you are anyway.

The two of you walk along the street, it’s just a short stroll. He asks you about your day, if you had something nice you could tell him, or if someone upset you during work. Your best friend listens to you the whole time, nodding or chuckling with you.

He always asks you about your day, making sure you had something that made you happy and to get rid of the things that upset you. And even if it ends up with him tickling you until you laugh to have something good to say about the day. As much as Bucky loves to hear and see that someone about the day makes you happy, he loves it more when it’s him who causes your happiness.

Bucky opens the door to the bar. His palms are sweaty and he inhales deeply before following you inside, pointing to the bar where an older man sits. He is obviously waiting for someone while talking to the waitress.

“There is Yori,” Bucky says, his voice sounding slightly broken and when you look at him you notice him shifting from one foot to the other. He smirks at you but it doesn’t reach his eyes — you know that expression.

Bucky often looks like that when people are around and he becomes nervous. Or when someone stares at him with a judgemental gaze, mostly when he is overwhelmed.

You stop in your tracks, turning toward him completely so you block his way toward the bar and take both of his hands in yours. “Buck?”

He hums, letting you know that he’s listening. His ocean blue eyes roam over your face, another attempt of a smile on his pretty lips but once again you notice that it’s not letting his eyes light up like his smile usually does.

“Can you breathe with me? Slowly to calm you down. I’ll hold your hands to help you— feel it?” You ask him, inhaling deeply together with him before slowly exhaling. Bucky nods to answer your question, his thumbs running over the back of your hands. He draws small circles, something that always helps him calm down, feeling your soft flesh underneath his rough fingers.

“S-sorry… just- I’m just a bit nervous. You’re my best friend and I told him so much about you already but he always looked at me with a smirk- that looks like he knows more about our relationship than I do.” Bucky smiles at you, removing one of his hands to wipe a strand of hair behind your ear, chuckling softly. “A-And I just can’t take my eyes off of you, doll. You look so pretty.”

“Thank you,” you giggle, holding Bucky’s hand tighter before you slowly walk to the bar where his friend is already sitting. The older man turns around, his eyes widen a bit, just like the grin on his face, as he notices the two of you. Bucky shifts, offering you the place next to the other man before he takes a seat next to you.

“You look just as pretty as Bucky always described you,” Yori says, causing your best friend to choke on his spit. His cheeks heat up and he scratches the back of his neck as you look at him.

“Told you… told you that I talked a lot about you,” Bucky confesses once again. The woman behind the bar walks toward you, a soft smile appearing on his lips. She silently asks the two men if they want to have the same as always. Both of them nod, Bucky doesn't even look at her, his eyes remain on you.

Then the woman turns to you, offering you a card but you shake your head. “The same as whatever Bucky likes, please.” Whatever it is he always orders, you know you will love it. The two of you have almost the same taste in everything and you know what Bucky loves to eat, so you know that he would never eat something that you wouldn’t like either.

The woman smiles nicely before she turns around and leaves the three of you alone. Yori grins at Bucky, wiggling his eyebrows and you have to admit that’s the funniest and cutest thing a older man like Yori could have done. You chuckle, turning to face Bucky, who could win an award against a tomato.

You place your hand on Bucky’s thigh, running your fingers softly over the firm muscle. “Bucky, do you need some fresh air?” You ask, slightly worried that his skin color could be because it’s too hot or the air too thick for him to breathe right now.

Bucky shakes his head. He places his hand on yours and caresses the back of it with his thumb while he looks into your eyes for a moment. “I’m fine, just- just nervous, you know?”

You nod, then you turn back to Yori, who watches the two of you intensely. His eyes are roaming down to Bucky’s thigh where both of your hands are. “So how long are the two of you dating?”

“We aren’t dating. We’re best friends,” you say, narrowing your eyes at the question. Yori’s smile never fades, his eyes glistening. He doesn’t believe the two of you — or maybe he does but then you both are idiots.

“You should ask her out, James,” the older man says and nods toward Bucky. Your best friend's eyes widen but he smiles softly, shaking his head.

It’s not like he doesn’t want to, but you’re just best friends. You’re everything for him, even though he is more than just in love with you, he is scared to ruin everything. Bucky would do everything for you, but he is still stuck in his past, he is over 100 years old — still looking like a mid 30 year old — but that doesn’t change that he is a broken mess.

“She deserves better than the broken man I am,” Bucky says with a soft laugh. He tries to cover the truth, the pain behind his words but you can see through it.

You would like to smack him for his statement. He may be broken and a mess, but he is still the most loving and sweetest gentleman you have ever met. He never judges you, no matter what it is you have his back, you have his love, you have Bucky. You would actually tell Bucky that you don’t want anyone but him but this would lead into a conversation with more confession — something you don’t want to have during a dinner with one of Bucky’s friends in public.

The night goes well, the three of you are laughing a lot. Yori points out often that the two of you have more than just a friendship, that you both have feelings for one another but you and Bucky play it off. You like Yori a lot, you understand why Bucky likes the older man, why he always eats lunch or dinner with him. After saying your goodbyes to Yori, Bucky and you walk back to your apartment complex. Bucky brings you to your apartment, kissing your cheek softly before he makes his way to his own apartment. Your night is filled with a lot of dreams with Bucky and even Bucky himself has a night — without nightmares — but filled with fluffy thoughts of you and him.

You spend almost your whole free time with your best friend, mostly watching movies or just talking about his or your day. You know everything about his missions with Sam and Bucky suggested that he could take you with him to meet Sam. But this plan changes when Bucky knocks at your door after another mission, his smile as bright as always and behind him another man.

You know that Bucky would come home today, you already made dinner for the two of you but you didn’t know he would bring a friend of his. “Hi, doll! I-I uhm… that’s Sam! He asked to sleep here before he flies to his family tomorrow.”

“Bucky!” You say excitedly as you pull him into a much needed hug. You look over his shoulder to see his friend smirking at the two of you. “Hi, Sam. Come in, Bucky has to give me at least five minutes of cuddles before I let go of him again!”

Both of the men laugh and Sam nods before he walks into your apartment. You let Bucky pick you up, you mean that you get at least five minutes of cuddles from Bucky, and he knows that you can be such a grumpy little thing if you don’t get them. He leads Sam into the kitchen, offering him a drink while he refuses to let you down.

“Does he cling to you like that all the time?” Sam asks jokingly. You turn your head to look at him, chuckling softly.

“Why? Isn’t he such a sweet teddy bear around you?” You ask and poke your fingers into Bucky’s cheeks, squeezing his cheeks softly. “He’s my favourite teddy bear!”

“The cyborg being a teddy?” Sam asks, earning a glare from your best friend. “He’s more like a cold, staring machine.”

Bucky growls into your neck, hiding his face while he inhales your scent deeply. He was away for two days but he missed you so much that he can’t let you down just yet. He doesn’t care that he’s carried you around for ten minutes already, he could do it all day and would never be tired of it.

“I made pizza, your favourite one,” you say and run your fingers through Bucky’s hair, making him sigh into your neck. “Sam, do you like cyborg pizza?”

Sam laughs while Bucky growls once again, but it turns into a chuckle almost immediately. You’re just so cute, he can’t help himself, he can’t stop himself smiling  and chuckling whenever you’re around.

“But I get to keep you on my lap,” he mumbles, letting you down for a moment to place the pizza on the table. Sam watches the two of you, smirking at Bucky. He has never seen his friend so soft and not grumpy around someone. But he likes this version of Bucky, the cute, sweet one, that looks so happy. It's like there is nothing that could make Bucky’s mood bad when you’re around, he smiles all the time, even his eyes are bright and shine in the most beautiful blue.

“I do like every pizza,” Sam nods, arranging the plates you placed in his hands on the table. He puts two of them on one side and one where he sits. Bucky grins at him, placing the pizza on the table before he picks you up and lets you sit on his lap.

Your best friend's arm is wrapped around your waist the whole time, you’re deep in talks with both of the men, getting to know Sam but also some secret and funny things about Bucky.

“And once… it was our first meeting, he landed on top of our car and he smashed the front glass and ripped out the steering wheel.,” Sam says before chewing further on the pizza. Bucky hides his face in the crook of your neck, chuckling softly.

“It wasn’t actually me. It was during the time of the winter soldier,” he mumbles. You run your fingers through his hair, calming him. You know that Bucky isn’t ashamed to talk to you about his past but you also know that he is still slightly tense when it comes to it. And your touch, your closeness and softness, is always calming for him.

“My sister and I are almost done with the boat, maybe Bucky wants to bring you to our little party then?” Sam asks, eying Bucky. “My little nephews and my sister would love you! They already love Bucky, and you’re way nicer than the cyborg.”

“Ey!” Bucky grumbles, gripping you tighter and pulling you more against him. You giggle, shoving a slice of pizza into his mouth. Bucky would love to bring you with him to the party, Sam is a good friend of his, and you’re his best friend, his everything. And even though the two of you aren’t dating, he doesn’t like the way Sam talks about you — that you’re nicer and probably sweeter and more beautiful. He isn’t wrong but Bucky doesn’t like to hear someone else saying such things about his babydoll.

“I would love to meet them, if Bucky wants to invite me,” you giggle. Bucky nods, smirking at you with a mouthful of pizza. He chews on it happily, holding you firmly pressed against his broad chest.

“Would love to,” Bucky smirks, swallowing the pizza before he opens his mouth to let you shove the next slice between his lips. You laugh softly, grasping another and shoving it into his mouth as well.

“So, Bucky said you’re not dating one another?” Sam asks, eyeing the two of you. A smug grin on his face, his eyebrows twitching in amusement. You shake your head, running your fingers through Bucky’s soft brown locks.

“No, he’s my best friend! Why does everyone think that?” You tilt your head softly, causing Bucky to almost choke on his pizza. You’re just so adorable and he can’t help himself but with a mouthful of pizza he can’t chuckle or laugh. “Buck! Don’t choke on your pizza! You need to chew before you swallow!”

Sam makes a lot more jokes about Bucky but in return Bucky embarrasses Sam just as much. The evening is filled with a lot of laughter and jokes. Bucky decides to sleep in your apartment on the couch, while Sam gets Bucky’s apartment — on the condition that he has to promise not to sneak around.

The man was more than just curious what Bucky was hiding in his apartment. Maybe a wedding ring already or maybe some really kinky sex toys? But to not destroy their trust and friendship he promises not to sneak around and he surprisingly managed to not do it.

You spend the weekend with Bucky, he asks you out for some ice cream and invites you also to another dinner with Yori. In the evenings you’re wrapped with Bucky into a blanket, snuggled up on the couch while you watch every kind of movie you can find or play some board games.

On Monday, you had to work again. Bucky told you he would make dinner and you can just come over after work. You know he is making your favourite food, he always does when he cooks for you.

You’re currently walking home from work, a few men following you, nothing too exciting because it’s a public street. But no matter where you walk, they follow you, their voices grow louder and you try to speed up. You can’t walk home, you can’t let them know where you live but they come so close.

“Girl, wait!” One of them shoots and laughs. You hear your blood rushing through your veins. The footsteps of the men behind you coming closer with every step and you feel the panic grow. You try to breathe slowly, try to calm yourself down but it doesn’t work. At least not as long as those guys walk behind you.

“I said wait, whore!” The man growls this time, his pace faster than before and he almost reaches you already. His hand is already reaching out and touching your shoulder. You prepare yourself to be thrown around, to be thrown against a wall or on the ground but it doesn’t come.

You walk further, slowing down the moment you feel a cold arm around your waist. The voices are quieter, almost silent. You inhale deeply, noticing Bucky’s scent and only now you dare to open your eyes further to look at your best friend, who presses you into his side. “Hi, babydoll.”

His voice is soft and shushing, you immediately relax in his warm embrace. Your eyes are locked with his — you’re happy he is there, that he helped you with those weird men who followed you.

“Hey! What are you doing here, Bucky?” You ask, leaning your head against his shoulder while he leads you through the street and toward your home.

“I had to go shopping, your favourite snacks were empty and I didn’t want my best girl to eat something she doesn’t like as much,” he chuckles and kisses your forehead softly. His lips are always so soft and warm, you could get lost in the feeling of them against your warm skin.

“You’re the best,” you giggle. Bucky nods proudly. He opens the door for you, leading you into the hallway before you make your way up to his apartment. Bucky prepared dinner already, he just wanted to get your favourite snacks before you were home, and saving his best girl from some weirdos wasn’t a plan, but he did it anyway.

“I know. Now, get yourself a seat, it’s your turn to decide on a movie first and dinner will be on the plates in just a moment,” Bucky says before he kisses your forehead once again. You take a seat on his couch, making it already comfortable and look for a movie. You can smell the food already, your tummy rumbling and you are already excited to get a taste of this delicious food your best friend made.

You almost confessed your love to him after the dinner, the food was so good and Bucky was so close, his lips so plump and soft you wanted to kiss him so bad. But you couldn’t just kiss your best friend, not before you told him about your feelings, not before you knew about his feelings.

You excused yourself and rushed into the bathroom, you needed a moment to breathe, he was just so soft and warm. Your feelings for your best friend went crazy and cuddling with him didn’t do a good job at calming all your running thoughts.

Even though his lips were really tempting, you didn’t kiss him, his presence made you all dizzy and comfortable — just like always — but you two watched the movie and threw popcorn at one another.

A few hours later you went to your apartment and into your bed. That’s where you are now, your eyes closed but you’re still awake, you can’t stop the thoughts in your mind. Bucky is so present in your thoughts, you tried to hide your love — your feelings — for him but the closer you come to him the harder it gets.

You’re so in love with Bucky, just like he is in love with you. You even have the key to Bucky’s apartment, just like he has yours. So when you suddenly hear a loud cracking noise and a wrecked scream you immediately sit up in your bed.

You know that sound too well, Bucky never screamed that loud but you know the way his voice sounds — it’s him. And your heart clenches as you realize that he has a nightmare, again. He told you once that the only way he doesn’t have one is being close to you. You offered him that he could sleep in your apartment even in your bed with you, but he just smiled. He doesn’t want to be a burden, doesn’t want to take away the little privacy you have. Even though you would rather spend your nights with him next to you, you accepted his decision.

You get out of your bed, wearing one of Bucky’s t-shirts — you stole it — and get the keys to Bucky’s apartment before you run out of yours and open the door to his. You already notice the silhouette  of Bucky in the corner of the living room.

He always sits in a corner after a nightmare, his legs close to his chest and his arms wrapped around himself. The wall behind him doesn’t let anyone attack him from behind and from the spot he is sitting at he can see every entrance.

You slowly walk toward him, turning on just a small light to not scare him even more. “Bucky? Hey, it’s me. Can you hear me?” You ask and get on your knees. A bit of distance between the two of you.

Bucky’s blue eyes are widened and sweat is running down his forehead. He nods slightly, staring at you. His eyes drift through the room every now and then, making sure no one he doesn’t want to have in his apartment comes into it.

“Can I come closer?” He nods again, allowing you to get closer to him. Bucky whimpers, tears stream down his cheeks and you feel your heart clenching at this sight. “I got you, Buck. I’m here, you’re safe.”

You crawl closer to him, your hands reaching out to pull him toward you. Bucky’s head falls against your chest, his hands clawing around your back and he breaks down completely. You run your fingers up and down his muscular back, calming him down.

Bucky holds on to you like you would disappear if he dared to loosen his grip just a tiny bit. “Bucky… we are safe here. You’re safe. We are at home, it’s just you and me here. No one is going to hurt you. I will protect you, I love you so much.”

You don’t even notice that you just confessed your love to him, of course you told him you love him but not like that. The seriousness, the love which is visible in your eyes and for the first time since the two of you know one another Bucky looks at you with a shocked but relieved expression on his face. His eyes still widened from the nightmare but your confession gave him hope — hope that someone as precious and sweet as you could really love someone as broken and messed up like him.

He doesn’t say anything, his face is buried back in your chest after you meet his gaze for a few seconds. He wants to believe that you love him, he really wants but something inside of him tells him that he doesn’t deserve your love.

“I don’t deserve your love…I-i…” Bucky stumbles, he whimpers and pulls you even closer toward him. “I-I want you to love me… b-but I don’t deserve your love…”

“Bucky!” You say, gasping at his words. How can someone as sweet and lovely like him not believe to be able to be loved more than everything, that he deserves so much love? “Hey! Listen to me. You deserve so much love! You deserve all the love in the world. You even deserve the world, Bucky. And I don’t care how broken or messed up you are, I love you!”

Bucky looks up at you once again, his fingers digging into your back. He shakes his head, he wants you to love him, so bad, but he doesn’t want to destroy you. He doesn’t want to hurt you, to break you, to make you like he is. “N-no…”

“Yes, Bucky. You can’t stop me, you can’t make me love you less. No one can, no one will ever make me love you less. I pretended that I could be just your best friend but I can’t anymore. I love you, more than everything, I need you, and I want you to see that you deserve love, all the love!” You say, trying to sound serious but still soft while talking to him.

You’re not sure what came over you to confess all that, maybe because he broke down once you wrapped your arms around him? Maybe it was just the last push after the day and half the night laying awake or whatever it was — you don’t regret it, you could never regret telling the love of your life that you love him, that you care for him — that your best friend is everything for you.

“Doll… you can’t… you— I will break you… I will hurt you. You deserve better than me,” Bucky whimpers, he has you already sitting on his lap, refusing to let go of you.

“It doesn’t matter, even when there would be someone better, I wouldn’t like someone other than you. Please let me love you, let me show you that you deserve to be loved just like everyone,” you mumble, running your fingers through his brown locks.

Bucky nods, letting himself fall more against you, leaning into your touch. He closes his eyes, his heart filled with love and affection. He has waited so long to hear those words from you, and now — no matter how shitty this situation is — it makes his heart race and his feelings for you to grow.

“Can you sleep in my bed then?” He whimpers, looking up at you with teary eyes. You can’t help but chuckle at his cute request, then you nod. Bucky inhales deeply, his breath still shaking but everything worked out so well right now, he couldn’t ask for anything else.

Your love will heal him, he knows it because it has since you got to know one another. Since he helped you to move into your apartment. Bucky knows that he never felt for someone before like he feels for you, no matter how broken he is, he knows that it will never stop him from loving you more than everything.

“I love you too, more than everything,” he mumbles, leaning more into you. “You know… I will never let you go. I will hold you in my arms every night, I will make you dinner, I-i will… be the best version of me I can be.”

“You’re already the best version of yourself, Bucky. You’re the most precious man, the sweetest I have ever met,” you smile softly, cupping his cheeks to make him look up at you. His ocean blue eyes shining with adoration and love, no signs of fear to the nightmare anymore. “Can I kiss you?”

Bucky nods with a soft smile across his lips as he is leaning closer already. You giggle at his impatience. But it was just too long to try not to, so you can’t blame him, it was too long to hold back from kissing one another. With a soft smile, you place your lips on his. And they really are as soft and warm as they look. You sigh softly, letting Bucky pull you even closer and hold you as tight as possible against his broad chest. His lips move softly against yours and he relaxes in your warm embrace, with his lips finally touching yours.

He may think that he doesn’t deserve to be loved — but this kiss lets him forget about all the insecurities and worries he has. The only thought left in his mind right now is how much he loves you, how often he wants to kiss you, that he just wants to hold you and tell you how much he loves you — over and over again. That’s what he is going to do, show you his love for you and he will show you that you’re everything for him, just you, only you as long as you’re with him.

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[lady-ashfade]

Through My Window

Percy Jackson x fem!reader

—£ They’re in their final year of high school

-£ words: 800

—£ warning: angst, self doubt, happy ending who?, fighting.

you’ve always been jealous of her. her perfect skin, her golden hair that shined brighter the sun. and how she got to be with him more then you. for months he left you to travel around the world and take on quest to save the world. and everytime he came back with stories. it hurt that you were never in them.

“i love you more then anyone, mortal or not. no one else will ever have me.” His lips kissed your forehead as he held your head close to him. it was senior year and he came back to school to see you, one year left before college. “hmm, love you too percy.” you caressed his hand on your cheek while you leaned into him. the stars looked so good tonight. you two hung out on the top of the hill over the city.

the year went amazing while he was by your side. studying together was always fun, the two of you teasing each other when someone got the answer wrong, or ending up falling asleep in each others arms. you loved it all. driving to school with each other, hanging out, going on dates all the time, you both working.

this year was bliss.

Percy stood with a cheeky grin on his face while standing before you, candles lighting up the path he made. “I know this is cheesy but I know you like that.” your smile grew wide as you almost started to cry from being overwhelmed. “will you go to prom with him?” it wasn’t even a doubt in your mind. you jumped into his arms and hugged him tightly.

you picked out a dress, green to match his eyes. it made you feel like a princess when you saw yourself in the mirror in the store. he’d love it. percy could never stop gushing over you.

weeks went by and nothing was out of place, it was all normal to you. the same arm that wrapped around your waist, the same eyes that admired you, his protective nature.

you started to believe everything he told you.

the night before prom he came to your window while it was pouring. it was funny because every time it rain you thought of him, and boom he was there. opening the window for him, “hey beach boy.” you helped him in.

“hey.” his voice was husky and low. if it wasn’t for the rain running down his face then you would have see the tears.

he looked around the room at anything but you. you hummed in confusion, “you okay?” you knew the answer. he sat on the bed with his shoulders hanging low. his foot tapped on the floor beneath him anxiously. he never liked to see you upset and he knew how this would affect you. leaving right before the night you two had been waiting for for years.

“i’m leaving.” he watched in silence for your answer and it was already making him sick. he would hear the sound of your heartbreak again. “what do you mean?” walking over to him slowly while you tried to wrapped your head over it. It wasn’t fair for them to pull him away before he could have fun like a normal person. but he wasn’t normal.

“i’m leaving you.”

stoping in your steps you stare at the back of his head right before your hand met his shoulder. your heart dropped right before it raced in your chest. “what?” the words tasted horrible in his own mouth but he had to do. he had to leave you. there was nothing more that he wanted then to have you safe and with him. but this time it was different, everyone he loved was being attacked.

he wouldn’t risk you. he sighed while holding back his own tears. “i thought i could do it,” standing up he turned back at you while his own heart broke to see you staring at him like that. hurt and betrayed. “i wish it was different.”

you shook your head and stepped back fully, everything in your mind running. you felt sad and angry, scared and confused. but he wasn’t telling the truth, there was something more he was scared of saying.

“It’s annabeth, you’re leaving me for her aren’t you?” Your accusing glare made him freeze. you think he’d ever actually do that to you? He couldn’t blame you in this moment because he promised to stay but here he is, leaving.

Percy didn’t want to say what he was about to but this would make you hate him, make you glad he was leaving. “Yes..” he whispered. your jaw tensed and nostrils flared in anger. you pointing the the widow, “get out! I never want to see you ever again Percy jackson.”

he let out a defeated sigh and walked to the open window while rain still poured down. He crawled half away out but look back at you for one last time. the one thing he will remember is the tears now trailing down your cheeks and the look of heartbreak.

“I’m sorry” he didn’t get a response before you shut the window behind him while closing your blinds.

[wonbriiize]

first date with riize

headcanons about how your first date with the riize members would be like…

shotaro ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ aquarium

shotaro would take you to an aquarium. he thinks it’s super cool how you can see the underwater animals and maybe even discover new facts together. bonus; you can take cool pictures. he is going to turn into your own personal photographer and won’t stop taking pictures of you until you’re 100% satisfied. at the end, he would ask a random person to take a cute picture of the two of you (which he would later on post on all of his social media. he’d also post the pics he took of you cause he’s so proud of them).

eunseok ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ café

eunseok likes it classy so he would invite you to a café. in his free time, he would search for a perfect one, somewhere you’ve never been before, and he also doesn’t want it to be boring so he’s looking for an unique concept. even the most simple things can be the most special and that’s what he wants to convey to you. just because he’s taking you out to a café it doesn’t mean it has to be a boring one, right? he spends hours looking for a cool café because he wants you to experience it with him, he wants you to have the memory of him taking you to such a special place that he searched out only for you.

sungchan ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ day trip

sungchan wants your first date to be unforgettable so he’s taking you on a day trip out of the city. he’s not big on plans so he doesn’t know what exactly you guys will do, but he knows that just exploring a new place, even if it’s without a destination, is enough because he gets to do it with you. during the car drive, sungchan puts on music that the both of you like and you guys would start screaming out your souls to the songs. once you arrive, sungchan will not let you know that he has no idea what he’s doing; you will think he has planned out everything in detail because he’s so good at pretending like it. the day trip ends with you guys planning out your second date; where is our next day trip going to be?

wonbin ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ dinner

just like eunseok, wonbin is a classy guy. he would go for the typical dinner date. he‘d search out a fancy restaurant (with the best food ever) and pick you up, the whole gentleman stuff you’d expect. wonbin is someone who doesn’t necessary needs to talk a lot to enjoy someone’s company, so having dinner is perfect – when you guys eat, you don’t have to talk much. that doesn’t change the fact that wonbin wants to know everything about you though (but he‘s too cool to show it right away so you’d have to be patient with him). and whenever you would eat and not pay attention to wonbin, he’d secretly sneak a look at you with the biggest smile on his face, just admiring you while you eat.

seunghan ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ amusement park

he would take you to an amusement park and he has made up a whole plan on how to get you fall for him. first, he’s going to take it easy and buy you some food. once you’ve warmed up to him, he will take you to the haunted house so he can protect you. lastly, you guys will go to a booth and he will try to win you a big plushie. he will not!! give up until he gets one for you, doesn’t matter if it’s going to take hours. he will make sure you go home with a big fluffy teddy bear which will always remind you of him.

sohee ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ picnic

a picnic date in the park while the sun is shining and the air is fresh. sohee would totally prepare everything, the only thing you would need to do is; show up. when you arrive, you’re shocked because of how well prepared everything is – you are so amazed by the fact that sohee did it all on his own. he even brought uno along so you guys can play it (sohee would lose on purpose sometimes so you’re the final winner). towards the end of the picnic, you’d find yourself laying next to sohee and him singing your favorite song into your ear, making the whole picnic date end in the best way possible.

anton ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ drive-in cinema

anton is similar to wonbin when it comes to the fact that he doesn’t need to talk to someone a lot to enjoy their company, so he would take you to the drive-in cinema. it’s not the normal cinema which makes the date more special, and when you guys sit in the car and watch the movie, anton is barely paying attention to it – he just stares at you (without you noticing it of course) because you’re far more interesting than the movie – than any movie. the night would end with the two of you driving to a hill, sit (or lay, whatever you prefer) down on the car while watching the night sky.

[xcyphoz0a]

Hello there! I hope your day is going well, but if not I hope it gets better dude!!!🤗

I wanted to know if it’s alright to request an idea for sagau? Like I might make a post about this but I always thought it would be cool to have y/n retain some realistic features even though they isekai into tevat!

Like for example; the hair being more textured, shines in reflection , the way they would have different shades and saturation throughout the skin, they way how your touch feels ‘real’ or different, oh and ur eyes, oh how the characters could look how your pupils reflects, etc.

Idk I always thought if I were to make and character of mine or y/n still retaining little features they had back their own world seem kind of cool and interesting to think how people would react to it!

Even better is if they don’t know you’re the ‘creator’ of their reality and they were only able to hear your voice and how you express yourself!!

Anyways sorry for making this so long 🥲 I’m just kind of curious on how you or others would feel on this idea 💡

Unique differences

Gender neutral reader, ideas TW/CW: sagau Character(s): Some characters from Mondstadt Word count: 608 Proofread: n/a | The differences you hold is what makes you unique, so special, lovable. | A/N: hello! I hope this fits your tastes..? might have a part two if i manage to find some more ideas!

Taglist: @chaoffee

When you arrive you probably don’t know why some random citizens look at you with such amazed, perplexed gazes, with you likely thinking there’s something on your face that you don’t know was there.

You’re also slightly confused why the hilichurls don’t attack when you’re an inch near them, and why the slimes seem to be more docile, why you barely manage to see abyss mages– everything’s odd.

If you arrive near Mondstadt, Amber is the first one to find you and lead you towards the headquarters of the knights of Favonius, but she definitely notices something different with you. You haven’t spoken yet, so she doesn’t know who you really are, perhaps, you’re like the traveller, she thinks.

But when you properly introduce yourself to Jean and the others the whole knights that are in the headquarters, such as Albedo, Sucrose, Kaeya, Lisa, perhaps Eula, gather around you, murmuring to themselves that you’re 99% the creator that they’ve only ever heard, and you’re just standing there. 

With your voice, the different, more dynamic and ‘lively’ look that you have seemed to make more sense–your eyes held the shine and reflection of their own appearance, your skin seemed to be much softer… and you assume that you’ve managed to retain some realer features you had in your original world.

Don’t worry, don’t fret, they love you with or without differences. Even if you weren’t the creator, Mondstadt welcomes you with open arms.

Best to say now the whole of Mondstadt finally knows their creator’s here in their region.

While Albedo knows that you are the creator, he can’t help but wonder if he can try to run some tests–he doesn’t want to hurt you, he just has an infinite curiosity ridden area in his mind.

Same goes for Sucrose too, but she doesn’t want to come off as rude or disrespectful, so she only holds these curiosities within her, oftentimes writing this in her journal, it’s not creepy, I promise.

Jean finds your presence nice, but more than others, it feels as if you’re like a safe haven for her with only just your presence, and you can visibly see her tired eyes brighten up when you pat her head for her hard work.

For Lisa, she also holds some questions for you, though she’d rather stay where she is, watching and hearing you enthusiastically talk about the books and literature in your world in the library.

Diluc wishes he was the person to find you first and lead you to Mondstadt– his feelings towards the knights of Favonius may be neutral and slightly, very slightly bad, but he’s still grateful that you managed to arrive safely. If you manage to visit Angel’s Share often, he’s somehow always there, wiping a glass or two.

Kaeya’s teasing his brother. No hard feelings though! Just pure friendly sibling rivalry. But when you’re near, his charismatic face fades as he’s rendered to someone yearning for affection–it’s adorable.

Same goes for Eula. She’s not often seen in Mondstadt due to her… ‘status’, but when you welcome her with open arms and no judgemental gaze, she feels… so appreciated. She’s barely felt this before other than in the knights of Favonius, but this… feels more different, warm, loving.

Venti’s elated, often like him a majority of times, but for him, he feels the joy that he’s never felt before–it’s pure, unadulterated joy that stems from his chest, as his mind fills with endless pure and innocent praise and lyrics for you with his lyre. The weather in Mondstadt seems to be more light, a refreshing breeze whenever Venti’s with you for some reason…

[literallygwenandjinx]

Your Gwen and Hobie dynamic hcs???Canon compliant,self-indulgent,etc!!I see them as either a t4t couple or siblings :] Also polyship them with Miles and Margo ofc

Hmmmm BET

-Hobie wakes up SUPER early to make Gwen pancakes almost every day (they’re her favorite), and he puts a buncha bananas and chocolate chips in them 😋

-MOVIE NIGHTS!!! Every weekend! I can picture Gwen and Hobie staying up till like 1am watching something on Hobie’s TV, Hobie makes popcorn and Gwen usually gets to choose the movie, but when Hobie picks a movie it’s either the goofiest shit you’ve ever seen or some crazy horror shit he picks just to scare Gwen (she secretly loves it though)

-Hobie’s a morning person, but Gwen DEFINITELY isn’t. Hobie would hover over Gwen at like 6am while she’s sleeping and blast an airhorn in her ear while yelling “RISE N SHINE!”

-I feel like Hobie would randomly ruffle Gwen’s hair, not because it’s soft or anything, but because he just wants to mess it up cause he thinks it’s funny 😹

-Ohhh Hobie would TOTALLY let Gwen paint his nails. Probably for a dare or something but I think he’d actually like how it turns out. He’d choose all the craziest color combos and Gwen would be all like “HOLD STILL” as she mischievously giggles and Hobie regrets all of life choices. This whole entire thing could also work the other way around actually (New headcanon: Hobie knows how to paint nails)

-They definitely play Roblox together at like 2am, mostly horror games. I can see both of them screaming at the top of their lungs when they get jumpscared but Hobie would scream at everything even if it’s not a jumpscare and Gwen would just laugh hysterically (Just like my last headcanon, this could also work the other way around)

-Hobie offered to teach Gwen how to play guitar one time and she said yes, so now she takes guitar lessons with him almost every day, and in return Gwen teaches Hobie how to play the drums 😸

-Hobie occasionally plays in the Mary Janes and almost all of them are DOWN BAD for him. Like when Gwen first introduced them to Hobie they all fell in love the second they saw him. Oh and when Hobie can’t play, he comes to their shows and has the proudest smile on his face when he watches Gwen play the drums. <3

-When they’re on missions together, each of them has one AirPod in so they can listen to some music. They have pretty similar music tastes but Hobie mostly listens to punk rock and metal, and Gwen also listens to punk and classic rock. They show each other their favorite bands while they’re swingin’ around.

-Since Hobie’s dimension is set in like the 70’s, he takes Gwen to all sorts of places that don’t exist in Earth-65 anymore. He also takes her to a ton of concerts, cool restaurants, aaand clubs, pubs, and bars. How did they get in you may ask? Hobie has a couple of fake ID’s 😼 (they’ve definitely been kicked out of at least 5 places)

-Gwen steals all of Hobie’s stuff, mostly clothes but it can be anything. Oh, he has a cool pair of shoes? She’s taking them (canon). He has a nice jacket? Snatched. A poster of a band she really likes? BOOM! It’s hers now. She’ll usually leave sticky notes next to the thing she stole so Hobie knows who took it, but he’ll figure out who stole it anyways.

-Gwen stays up late and gushes on about Miles for HOURS to Hobie without even realizing how long she’s yapping for, and Hobie just listens with a smirk on his face.

-They got matching piercings!!! Hobie’s amazing at piercing stuff and has a shit ton of jewelry, so sometimes he lets Gwen borrow some or if it’s REALLY special he’ll give some to her as a gift. And Hobie lets Gwen do wacky shit to his hair, like giving him braids or dying the ends pink so he can match hers. Speaking of which, Hobie helped Gwen dye her hair pink when she first decided she wanted to :3

-They both have a soft spot for animals, specifically cats. If there’s a cat on the street, both of them are stopping whatever the hell they’re doing to go pet that cat. Hobie takes Gwen to cat cafes all the time, or just cat infested areas. Gwen ALWAYS asks if they can keep them, so sometimes Hobie takes a couple stray cats and dogs back to his place so they can get food and shelter. (He’s so sweet guys)

-(WARNING!! very angsty) Sometimes Hobie walks in on Gwen while she’s crying, he immediately gets concerned and always rushes to her to ask what’s going on while he speaks in the gentlest way possible to try and calm her down. Hobie is one of the only people Gwen feels comfortable opening up to, so she tells him things she normally keeps bottled up. Gwen starts rambling on and on about how she really feels while more tears form in her eyes and her voice becomes shaky as she starts to breakdown completely. Hobie then pulls Gwen into a hug, and she clings onto him tightly as she cries into his shoulder, Hobie rubs her back in a soothing way to try and comfort her in any way he can.

-PILLOW FIGHTS!!!!! 90% of the time, Hobie’s the one who starts them. While Gwen is just chilling on the couch or about to go to bed, he’ll just *WHACK* and Gwen fights back and it ends up lasting for like 30 minutes. Oh and I can also imagine them having water gun fights at Hobie’s place.

-Amusement parks. They LOVE amusement parks and arcades, especially Gwen. She’s obsessed with rollercoasters and always asks to go twice, and Hobie is a god at all the arcade games, and he always wins stuff for Gwen. Bonus: One time Hobie won Gwen a baby deer plushie and she named it Miles.

Okayyy I hope you enjoyed these silly headcanons and I’m sorry there’s so many I got a little carried away aauahsjskks but tysm for the ask this was really fun to make!! ^_^

[choicesfandomappreciation]

It’s spread kindness week! And who would I be if I didn’t leave a bit of pink & glitter for everyone to enjoy 🩷 ✨

I haven’t been active a lot. I’ve been dealing with the passing of my beloved dad. Which is still hard to grasp for me. It‘ll be 4 months on 11/29/24 and to know he touched so many lives of people who’ve known him in person and those who didn’t means a lot to me. But honestly? I’m glad and thankful to have been able to spend as much time with him as I could. Especially when it was time for him to go, you all came together with prayers, kind words and support, something I’ll never be able to repay or forget. So thank you for that! I hope you know how much this means to me 🥰

So I’d like to mention some people that I call friends 🌸 (don’t worry this won’t be the only post I make 🥰)

@aallotarenunelma I am beyond happy we’ve grown close and that we’re able to talk and exchange messages. It’s as if we’ve know each other for years and I’m so so happy we’re friends. Your constant support and kind words, help me through the toughest of my days. Our chats about our characters & stories and the way we hype each other up means the world to me. Puno mi znaći što si uz mene, nemogu ti opisati koliko mi znaći, hvala još jednom puno na svemu 🩷 Grlim te 🩷

@cariantha Cariii! It’s hard to find words and describe how much our friendship means to me. Not only do you make me laugh with all your stories, but you’re a true friend. I remember when you first joined tumblr, I was so happy to see a new person join our little family fandom. And then I saw all your stories and I fell in love with your writing and Sawyer & Ethan. It brings me a lot of joy to know you’re here. Your reblogs and your gif game is on point girl! Thank you for being there for me, for making me laugh and simply for being my friend. Love you to the moon and back 🩷

@mysticalgalaxysstuff I know you’re rarely on tumblr M but I do miss you and our talks. I hope you see this message and you’ll feel hugged 🩷 Your outpouring of love and friendship is and will always be appreciated 🩷

@secretaryunpaid You were one of the first people I’ve met on tumblr and we instantly connected. I hope you know how much our friendship means to me. Keep on shining! 🌺🩷🌸🥰

@thosehallowedhalls Caro!!!! You’re back. Which means I can tag you again, and you’ll see this message 😍 I am so so happy we became friends and shared messages. Your stories, your characters and you as a person make this fandom even brighter so thank you for all your kind words and burst of positivity it means the world to me 🩷🌸

@aria-ashryver Ariii! First of all. What a light and luminous presence you are despite everything that you’re going through. You find time and space for all of us. Whether it’s a kind message or a kind word, please know it’s more than appreciated. And don’t even get me started on your stories they’re amazing 🩷 Keep on glowing 🩷

@dutifullynuttywitch Léa! You’re one of the nicest and kindest people I’ve ever met! From the time you joined I just wanted us to be friends and we became friends 😍 (how awesome is that?) Thank you for being you! Kind, compassionate, nice and a damn good writer 🥰 And all in all an amazing person, never let anyone tell you different 🩷

@quixoticdreamer16 Your constant enthusiasm and support really are amazing. You’ve been so kind to me and everyone else. You take the time to reblog and leave a comment under my stories and for that I’m truly grateful. Thank you for being my friend and thank you for being you 🩷🩷

@jerzwriter Els 🩷 Where to start?! You were one of the first friends I made on tumblr. I saw your stories & your writing style and was really impressed. I was like damn she’s good! The joy and laughter I experience when I read your stories helped me through many dark days in my life and for that I want to thank you. Thank you for being supportive, thank you for being my friend, thank you for being real when I needed it and thank you for just being you! Never change because that’s what makes you unique 🩷

@the-pale-goddess Hilde! I had to mention you my dear friend. Even though you’re barely on tumblr these days that doesn’t mean I don’t miss you and obsess over Tiffany & Ethan and your stories. You’re such a talented writer. You’re a beautiful and amazing person inside and out. You’ve been so supportive of me, my stories and my characters it’s truly amazing thank you for that! I hope we’ll see more of you on tumblr. Sending a lot of hugs your way 🩷🩷

Again thank you to everyone who’s ever touched my heart it means the world to me 🩷🩷

💛

[poemnic-tarot]

Channeled Message from Your Soulmate’s Higher Self

(Disclaimer : This is a general reading please only take what resonate. For entertainment purposes only)

🧚🏻‍♀️ 💕 🍀 🌷 🌸 You are Loved 🌸 🌷 🍀 💕 🧚🏻‍♀️

Pile 1🌠 “Twin flames”

“I want to acknowledge your mastery of your own emotions. I love that you’ve learned not to control or shame your emotion but accept them for what they are. Your inner strength really shine through and it wasn’t easy so I want to congratulate you on that hard earned achievement, my love. Now your emotion can’t hold you back anymore from taking action. They do not dictate what you can or cannot do because frankly, there is nothing you can’t achieve in this world. You can basically manifest anything.

You are very intuitive and even psychic when we first met and I noticed that about you. I was surprised by how much you were able to pick up on. My feeling particularly because I was not that expressive. You’ve showed me how to balance between true inspired action and just doing things for the sake of doing it. It was hard for me to give something up or abandoned things I’ve started, even when I know it was passed due to do so. Leaving things,letting go of attachment is hard for me. I am the type to keep on reading a book or watching a movie till the end even when I am dead bored of them. There’s no reason for me to continue but there wasn’t a reason for me to leave either. So I’m stuck I guess, I’m very good at getting myself stuck, in the middle, hanging in- between staying or going. But you told me you found that endearing for some reason and gently took my hand and guide me out of my self- imposed prison. You have helped me heal my wound of abandonment, maybe that’s why it was hard to say goodbye to things and leave them, even though they do not serve me anymore.

I admire your sense of adventure, you are the most expressive person I’ve ever met. Even if you don’t know that about yourself. I feel quite a strong kinship with you, like this is not our first rodeo on this earth. Perhaps, we often have more adventures in our dreams, I know I do dreamt of you quite often. I just want to let you know that I love you, I love who are and who you were and who you are trying to become. Every versions of you amazed me cause your true strength alway shines through every time and I will alway recognised your bright essence anywhere.”

Love,

Your Soul Family

Signs: Rose, Lion/big cats, 111, Infinity, Pine trees,Crescent Moon

Love Quotes: "In the end, we all just want someone that chooses us over everyone else under any circumstances."

Song: I See the Light from Tangle

“….And at last I see the light

And it’s like the fog has lifted

And at last I see the light

And it’s like the sky is new

And it’s warm and real and bright

And the world has somehow shifted

All at once everything looks different

Now that I see you

Love Poem verse : Twin flames by @cant-find-my-name

…I recognised negative traits needed

To be discard,

When we met, I think I’ve found myself

The missing piece, part of my soul

Ah, you’re my Twin flames

When I met you I know

We’re one and the same

🧚🏻‍♀️ 💕 🍀 🌷 🌸 You are Loved 🌸 🌷 🍀 💕 🧚🏻‍♀️

Pile 2🍄 If Magic Was Real

"I hope you are taking time to fully sit in your emotions and grieve. It is okay to express your emotion, in fact, it is crucial if you need to cry or break down or just lose it emotionally. Give yourself that permission to do so. You might think that it's strong of you to keep it together for the sake of others or yourself. That it is so mature of you to do so but darling, there need to be a balance. You need to heal but you won't be able to heal if you won't let yourself feel all of your sadness. If you need to cry, cry it out I will be here with you. You are not alone in your sorrows. I would like to give this song to you, maybe it would help "Chiquitita by Cher". It seem you have broken a feather but don't worry, we will try to patch it up together.

I want to tell you that a renewal is coming to you. It was a hard chapter that you just experienced and I hate seeing you pretending to be fine. But your sad eyes is not fooling anyone. It is okay to be sad,to be angry, to let it all out ( in a healthy way not in a self destructive way please). I admired you for holding it together for this long, but more than anything, I want you to let go. Be vulnerable with yourself, I think that is the most beautiful thing. Witness the spectrum of human emotions, it is beautiful. It is time to rest in your nest for awhile until you’re able to fly again. Take all the time that you need, grieve all that there is, broken relationships, friendships, nostalgia. Whatever it is, I am alway there. Listen to music because I love sending you messages through these songs, it has really helped me through my hard time. So I’m hoping music could be a little comfort to you at this time. Take some time for yourself love, cause you definitely need it. Trust me that the sun will rise once more, and all that happened will just been a hard learned lesson and you’ve definitely learn a lot from it.

I know that the real you is not a sad person. You are the most vibrant, radiant, happiest soul I know. And sadness doesn’t suit you one bit, as well as pretending to be happy. You shine best when you are true to your feeling. Winter is over and I cannot wait to welcome you back into the season of spring.”

Love,

Your Soulmate

Signs: Black feathers, birds, 55, Tears drop

Love Quote : “He’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”

Song : Chiquitita by Cher

Chiquitita, tell me the truth

I’m a shoulder you can cry on

Your best friend, I’m the one you must rely on

You were alway sure of yourself

Now, I see you’ve broken a feather

I hope we can patch it up together

Love Poem verse: If Magic Was Real by @cant-find-my-name

.. The world seem kind

When you’re around

To believe again

Is easy

When you’re with me

If Magic is real

It is where you’ll be

🧚🏻‍♀️ 💕 🍀 🌷 🌸 You are Loved 🌸 🌷 🍀 💕 🧚🏻‍♀️

Pile 3🫧 I’ll Never Forget

“You’re working so hard and so am I. We’re trying to do our own work, slowly building strong foundation for the future. Maybe out of fears than anything. This anxiety to keep on going, to do better and better, to improve, constantly striving for a better future. I get it, I feel it too, however, if we keep on going like this eventually our life forces will run out. And physically we can become ill and I really don’t want that for you. So I’m here to let you know that you can slow down, what you feared will not come true. Your deep, dark fears will not come alive. If you think you can’t stop because you think that the fears you feel will transpire. No, it will not, you’ve work hard enough. Outwardly and internally, I’ve watched you tried and tried and alway striving to do better. To be better, but honey, you are already enough for me. You alway will be, regardless of what you did or what you didn’t do or what you will do. I will alway believe that your existence alone is enough for me. To sooth my soul, to lift my spirit up. You don’t have to do anything for me, I am happy just to be with you, to exist with you, to be by your side and bath in your lovely presence

I know you have struggled from a lack mentality, I don’t know if you notice that about yourself. And that is nothing to be ashamed of , I‘m struggling with it too. I understand how you feel, no matter how much you have or how much you do, you just feel it’s never enough. True abundance come from the inside. And you are already enough with the proof that your heart beats for you, the blood flowing in your vein is proof that we meant to exist here as we are. No more, no less.

Please rest assured love, and take a break once in a while. Do something that’s not related to work. I want you to practice winding down, practice letting go and relaxing. No one ever teach us how to truly relax and it is a skill, it doesn’t come naturally to us and we can help each other relax. We can practice together, practice just existing without shame or guilt, or a pit in our stomach that things will go wrong if you don’t do anything. I want you to learned to have fun because when we’re together, it’ll become a skill that will help our relationship a lot. I want to have fun together with you and for you to tell me all about your adventures, your travels and your crazy journey. I can’t wait to just sit down and be with you. Take a vacation with you and have the time of our lives. You are my vacation home.”

Love from,

Your Honey bear

Signs : 88, Roses, Games, Festival, Spider, Designer brand

Love Quote : “I know from that first moment we met. It was not love at first sight exactly but familiarity. Like ‘oh hello’, it’s you. It’s going to be you.”

Song : Voyage by Kep1er

“The sound of waves surging in

Far beyond the horizon

Between the clouds, we going high

Follow me in my way

When the gentle breeze blows

Close your eyes and feel it

We arrived to an unfamiliar island

slowly open your eyes

Love Poem verse: I’ll Never Forget by @cant-find-my-name

Loneliness is a disease

But I think you’ve just cure me,

You make me so happy

I don’t recognise myself,

You warmed my hand

Around your coffee mug

And asked if I’m alright

Your voice sounded worried

And there’s concern sincerity’s in

Your eyes.

🧚🏻‍♀️ 💕 🍀 🌷 🌸 You are Loved 🌸 🌷 🍀 💕 🧚🏻‍♀️

Pile 4🌙Each Night

“Good evening, I hope to meet you again in our dream. I know you dreamed of me and questioned it. Believe in yourself my little star. Your dream is not lying to you. It is alright to hope, to wish, to believe in the impossible. Please don’t think that it’s ridiculous or childish to believe in true love, in soulmate and fairy tales. Because you’re not wrong to hope. Your soulmate exist and you know that but your fears trying to convince you otherwise. I am your soulmate and my message to you is to believe in me. I want to validate your feeling, your extraordinary senses. Your wish in that little star?, I heard it, the universe heard it too and we listen. To all of your wishes and it was not ridiculous of you to wish for love, true love. It is not unrealistic, or rose colour glasses. It is just something that you know you deserve and want to feel. We do not shame or guilt ourself for asking for more love.

I am alway with you, in your dream, in your waking life, in our past lives. That is why you can feel my presence so strongly. It is not just from your imagination. I want to assured you that, it is real. I am as real as the bark of a tree. I can feel you too but truthfully, my 3D self is not as intuitive as you. I tend to brush things off when they don’t make sense, so please don’t be like me.Things doesn’t need to make sense now,it will eventually come together. Unfolding naturally, beautifully. I know you see my signs everywhere and is questioning reality. You are not going mad, just a head up from me. We will meet soon, in a way that you won’t believe. I won’t either but we both know that we wish for this desperately. Earth has been achingly lonely for me. And knowing you exist have helped alleviate the ache a bit. I want you to take your time with life, don’t rush cause when we come together, we can continue this journey together in an even pace,step by step.

Love,

Yours

Signs : North Star, Dove, Diamond shape, Cocoon of a butterfly, 8910, 2020

Love Quotes: “He loves you very much” she said, but more than that, he cares for you. Sometimes love is not as important as truly caring for the other person.

Song : Surefire by John Legend

“Let me breath you in ‘till gravity bends

And we fall through the hole in the light

Make this our kingdom

Somewhere where good love conquers and not

Divides”

Love Poem verse : Each Night by @cant-find-my-name

Oh distance shore

I beg of you

Please no more,

Please don’t keep us apart

I can’t take it

This is destroying my heart,

We are one and it’s time to be

Together again

Next to each other

Hand in Hand

Feel you touch my skin

Smell your scent

I breathe you in………

🧚🏻‍♀️ 💕 🍀 🌷 🌸 You are Loved 🌸 🌷 🍀 💕 🧚🏻‍♀️

Thank you so much for reading!. If this resonate please leave a tip if you like. See you soon!

Check out more of my original poems at @cant-find-my-name .

[lemonxdaisybby]

Now sure if you write for male or trans reader, but could i request maybe kiryu and ichiban with an s/o that transitioned (ftm) whilst they were in prison? I'm not sure what else, I'd just like to see these two with a trans partner 🙏

Of course feel free to ignore this if you don't write for that though, I don't mind.

Hello - thank you for your request. This is my first time writing for a trans reader/partner, so I hope this is okay 💕

Also context, these are written from the view that reader was unable to visit Kiryu/Ichi during prison, for whatever reason.

Kiryu:

During his prison time, Kiryu probably wrote to you fairly often. He’s more on the traditional side of things, so when he first received a new letter from you opening up about your transition or plans to transition, he would have been taken aback. Not in a negative way, but he wouldn’t completely understand straight away, and might be a bit confused. However, once he’s read the letter a few times, it would sort of register in his brain, and from that point he would be completely open and accepting.

Kiryu is more focused on who you are as a person, and doesn’t care about gender. He loves you for your heart and your soul, and who you are on the inside.

During his time in prison, his letters to you wouldn’t really mention the transition once you’ve told him, as he wouldn’t see it as a big deal in general. He’d just accept it right away, and you’d just feel so comfortable being yourself when writing to Kiryu.

When he first meets you again after his release from prison, he would be typical Kiryu, in that he’s not gonna smile much or be overly romantic, but his eyes would just be shining with so much happiness. He’d pull you in to a tight embrace, and tell you how pleased he is to finally see you again.

Things in the relationship would feel no different. It’s as if he didn’t go to prison, and as if you didn’t recently transition, and you’ve been this way for the entire relationship. Everything would just fall in to place, and in to a comfortable, loving routine.

If anyone ever tries to be rude to you, or transphobic, Kiryu is there to support you. He’d be at your side instantly, giving them the ultimate Kiryu glare. If they’re smart, they’ll apologise and leave swiftly. He’s gonna have your back no matter what, and is always there to lend an ear or reassure you, if need be.

Ichiban:

First of all, Ichiban likes who he likes. He’s so pure-hearted and wholesome, you just know he’s going to be such a supportive partner.

It’s also likely that he kept in touch with you whilst in prison, and wrote to you as often as he could. Initially, he would have been shocked when you informed him of your transition or plans to transition, but a few moments later once the news has settled in, he will be so happy for you. He’s your biggest supporter.

He would maybe be a little nervous that things between the two of you will change. He might be worried that perhaps you’ll want to start an entirely new chapter in your life, and possibly move on? After all, he’s stuck in prison, he’d feel pretty useless, and would be sad about not being able to be by your side during a big change in your life.

Upon being released from prison, Ichi would be so giddy. He’d be excited to see you again, but also nervous, because it’s been so long, and so much has changed.

As soon as you approach him, all of his nervousness is going to disappear as he locks eyes with you. He’d just have the biggest, dumbest grin on his face, and would wrap you up into a big hug. He would blush so hard the first time you kiss him after his release, because of how long it has been since he last kissed you. He’d almost forgotten just how amazing it feels to kiss you.

Ichi is a curious guy, so expect a lot of questions regarding your transition. It would be more so he can understand and support you better, and he would want you to feel comfortable with him. Of course, if there’s things you would rather not talk about, that’s completely fine too.

[bottomlouisficfest]

We hope you’ve enjoyed the fics from weeks 9-10 of the Bottom Louis Fic Fest 2023! Every two weeks, we’re compiling all of the fics from that period into one roundup post so they’re easy to find for anyone looking to catch up on fics they missed. Enjoy these amazing fics and give them the love they deserve!

part time soulmates (full time problem)

A fic by localopa on AO3 | @voulezloux on Tumblr

12k | Mature | Tumblr post | Twitter post

sworn enemies harry and louis are soulmates. everything is going smoothly until the pain hits.

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Spaces Between Us, Hold All Our Secrets

A fic by Whoopsiedaisiesss on AO3 | @shining-louist on Tumblr

6k | Not Rated | Tumblr post | Twitter post

The thing about Harry is, is that he is the most wonderful guy you´ll ever meet. He is kind, compliments you on things you are usually insecure about, which shows he truly pays attention to who you are as a person. And he befriends everyone. Except Louis. --- Or the one where Louis suffers from anxiety. His rivals with Harry makes this even worse. Until one day he accidentally calls Harry during one of his panic attacks. Harry just wants Louis to feel better. He always does.

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Bend the Rules

A fic by youreyesonlarry on AO3 | @youreyesonlarry on Tumblr | @youreyesonlarry on Twitter

17k | Explicit | Tumblr post | Twitter post

Prompt 588: Lous hires a ‘ghost cooking’ service because his family is worried he’s not eating well and he wants to impress them by showing them what an amazing cook he’s become. The service includes sending a discreet cook to your house and have them get everything ready so that you only serve and take the credit. Problem is, his sisters (can be OCs if that’s more comfortable) get to his flat earlier than planned and the actual cook has to hide in the master bathroom for hours. Louis is mortified. The cook is amused and helps him to clean and well. Gives him a thorough service. Feel free to pick your fave as the cook.

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The Writing on the Wall

A fic by stylinsonwritingpalace on AO3 | @stylinsonwritingpalace on Tumblr

7k | Explicit | Tumblr post | Twitter post

When BookToker Louis receives a gift basket filled with all his favorite sweets, wines, and stuffed animals alongside the new Harry Styles book, he's shocked at the story he finds in the pages. ----- For BLFF Prompt 85: Louis is a literature teacher who spends his free time either making videos on Instagram or TikTok (author’s choice) talking about his favorite books. His audience knows how obsessed he is with a specific author, from his poems to his novels, he reads and gushes about every single one of his works because he always feels as if they were written to him. That was why when he receives a special PR package with his favorite sweets, wine, and the author’s brand new book, it only took him hours to finish the whole thing. Only this time, to his shock, the story on the pages of the book were too familiar to him. It was the story of how Louis broke his ex’s heart.

--

Define me again

A fic by Hazzascul_07 on AO3 | @hazzascul on Tumblr

54k | Mature | Tumblr post | Twitter post

He's never felt so frightened in his life before, so fucking terrified for himself. And Louis. He looked down at their hands, which seemed to have been connected throughout the incident. He looked at the ring on Louis' hand, for the nth time that day. His heart hurt so bad now, he was terrified. He wanted to do so many things, he wanted to check on louis, if he- if he- God he couldn't even think about it. "Louis," he tried to whisper, but nothing but air came out from his mouth. "I love you, Harry," whispered a voice. But it was nowhere near him. Visions attacked his mind, rapidly flickering through like one would do the pages of a book. He was terrified. His entire life literally flashed in his mind, vision growing more and more weak and he fought unconsciousness. Memories and the picture of Louis lying unconscious in front of him altered and flickered, so rapidly that he felt dizzy with how fast his mind was whirring. What happens when you die? God he was so, so, so, fucking terrified. All his senses gave out, last thing he felt was Louis' hand in his and then, everything went black.

--

in deep devotion

A fic by ifthat on AO3 | @lovehl on Tumblr | @omegalouis on Twitter

11k | Explicit | Tumblr post | Twitter post

With no signs of presenting at the age of sixteen, no official designation by age eighteen, Harry was no match for the line of Alpha suitors Louis attracted with his sweet, gravitating disposition and breathtaking beauty. His presence commanded attention. His movements were graceful, his skin tinged by the sun, his smile infectious, and his eyes the color of the sea.

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You Were Always Mine

A fic by GoldenSunflouervol6 on AO3 | @sunflouervol6 on Twitter

6k | Explicit | Tumblr post | Twitter post

Prompt 45: A/B/O fic where Louis and Harry have a lot of mutual friends but they don’t get along (mostly Louis doesn’t like Harry). One day, Louis turns up on Harry’s doorstep covered in blood and asking for help. (Inspiration: Prompt #126 from the BLFF 2021).

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give my heart a holiday

A fic by Ashisinlove on AO3 | @ashisinlove28 on Twitter

14k | Not Rated | Tumblr post | Twitter post

AU where Louis and someone else both like Harry but Harry obviously likes Louis and is oblivious to the other person with scenes like Harry’s sitting with his legs on the coffee table and the other person wants to walk across and Harry doesn’t see them, so they have to say excuse me, but when Louis wants to cross he doesn’t even have to say anything because Harry sits up, puts his feet down, and gives his undivided attention to Louis.

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always tell the truth

A fic by anditsonlyforthebrave on AO3 | @HARRYSC1NEMA on Twitter

5k | Not Rated | Tumblr post | Twitter post

Harry is Louis' dentist and getting a wisdom tooth removed shouldn't be the end of the world.

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Wait For Me

A fic by cherrygelb on AO3 | @cherrygelb on Twitter

17k | Explicit | Tumblr post | Twitter post

Moving to a new place always comes with a few challenges. For Harry, it’s trying to start over after his divorce, while still doing his best taking care of his son. Though just like every parent, he is not infallible, so some mistakes are bound to be made, settling into his new role as a single-dad. For his son, Davie, moving means he has to get used to all the changes happening in his life through no fault of his own. Discovering a secret passageway on their new property lets him form an unlikely friendship with the young man and his dog he finds on the other side. BLFF 2023, Prompt 391: Harry’s son gets very attached to Louis! Maybe they just randomly meet at first (possibly neighbors?) and then the kid just keeps running back to Louis without telling his dad.

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Remember to give these fics kudos and comments, and spread their fic posts!

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All roundups will be linked here:

Weeks 1-2 Roundup

Weeks 3-4 Roundup

Weeks 5-6 Roundup

Weeks 7-8 Roundup

Weeks 9-10 Roundup

Week 11 Roundup

[nanaloveswo-men]

piece of cake - erling haaland

pairing: erling haaland x brazilian fem!reader

summary: it’s your birthday party when your friends decided to tease you by asking to who you’re going to give the first piece of your birthday cake, bringing up the brazilian tradition where the birthday girl gives the first piece of the cake to the person she loves the most

warnings: fluffy, swearing, just a bit of mature language

author notes: just an ideia i had because of a dream. I’m not a native english speaker, so i’m sorry if there is any kind of error.

word count: 1,1k

“so, i’m the one you love the most.”

Everything was good, you were with your best friends and with your sweet boyfriend, nothing could go wrong, right? Wrong.

 After the birthday song, you were ready to finally cut the cake you’ve been dying the whole night to taste.

Your bestie baked the cake herself, and since the morning, she’s been telling you about how excited she was for your birthday, and how she put all of her energy into baking the most perfect and delicious cake this world could see.

You totally agreed with her, because now, when you were seeing the final piece, you could confirm that the cake was beuatiful. The light pink glacé was perfectly spread along the round surface, and the strawberries on the top were the final touch.

“I love it! Thank you so much!”

You said excited, and your bestie could only smile with your happiness. Haaland was by your side, his eyes shining just from seeing your happy face, for him, moments like this were precious.

“Can i cut it now?” you asked, already bored with all the photos your friends had already taken of the cake. “No!” your bestie screamed “We need to take pictures of you and Haaland, so don’t you dare to make any move!” 

You rolled your eyes, being honest, the only thing you wanted was to eat the fucking cake, but when you saw Erling’s puppy eyes, excited for taking pictures with you, your mind changed completely.

“Ok, i will do it, but not because you asked” you felt your cheeks heating up “Yeah, yeah, everyone know why you are being obedient” your male friend teased, and you just gave him the middle finger.

On the other side, Haaland was red like a tomato, his cheeks were burning from shame. Your friends were always teasing you and him like that, but Haaland could never get used to it. “Just ignore them, babe” you said, trying to get your boyfriend back to his normal skin color.

Erling and you posed for like, fifteen minutes, making all the poses your friends asked you to, some of them were actually good and cute, but others were just stupid.

“Ok, that’s enough!” you screamed after your bestie suggested one pose that was a lit bit pornographic. “Let’s eat the cake”.

“Do you need help love?” Erling asked when he saw you getting the knife “Nop, thank you” you denied his offer. 

The smile on your face was one of the biggest Haaland had ever seen, and he could only imagine how special this day was for you.

One of your friends was recording everything, from the moment you grabbed the knife, to the moment where you finally cut the cake with the most childish smile possible, and after.

You put the fresh piece into the plate near to you, and just like a proud mom, you lift the plate, showing to everyone what you just did.

“That’s amazing darling” Erling said, also looking like a proud dad “I know, i’m incredible” you teased.

You were going to cut another piece of the cake, when your bestie appeared from nowhere, looking at you with a smirk. “Well, you know, we’re not in Brazil, but i think we should keep our traditions” she started to talk, and just from the beggining of her sentence, you already knew that you wouldn’t like when she was finished.

“I don’t know what you’re planning devil, but I don’t want to hear” you tried to end this situation, but she just ignored you.

“Who’s going to receive the first piece of the cake?” she was looking between you and Haaland. “It should be the birthday girl, right?” Erling said kind of confused, not understanding why you looked so shy suddenly.

“Fuck off, i’m not doing this” you tried to look rough, but everyone at the party knew that you were ashamed.

All the attention was on you, including Erling’s attention. 

You didn’t want to do this because you knew that all of your friends would tease you about this for at least forever, but because of the pressure, and because of Erling pretty shine eyes, you shyly handed the plate with the piece of cake to him.

“Take it, it’s for you” you said making Haaland more confused “What is all of this?” he asked, not sure if he should take the cake or not “Just take, i can explain it to you later”.

When Erling was finally with the cake in hands, everyone started celebrating, some of your friends even faking a cry.

“I hate all of you” was your speech.

After some hours, the party was finally over, and now you and Erling were just laying in bed, you on top of him, with your head in the crock of his neck while his hand was carissing your naked back.

“Do you mind to explain what was the whole thing with the cake?” he said looking down to you.

You sighed.

“It’s kind of a stupid thing, but in Brazil we have a tradition” Haaland stoped his actions to show that he was paying attention. “And what, love?” he encouraged “It’s a tradition where you give the first piece of the birthday cake to the person you love the most, it’s more like a child thing, but some people take it really serious” you explained.

Erling was laughing, and you looked at him with a shock face, but with the sound of his laug, your expression quickly changed, a smile surging.

“Well, this is actually really cute” he said changing your positions, now he was on top of you, his arms on the side of your head “Honestly, i tought it was something much worse, coming from your friends”

Now was your time to laugh.

“I can’t blame you, they are really terrible” you agreed with Haaland. 

In the position you two were, you could perfectly view Erling’s face, so you did.

“So, i’m the one you love the most.” he said teasing, and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes “Please, don’t start with this shit too” you begged “Nah, c’mon, just admit that you love me more than anything else” 

You wanted to smack the smirk out of his face, but you liked his face too much for this.

“And boost your ego? No, thank you” you weren’t giving what he wanted this easy “Well, then I think I need to make you admit it”.

One second later Erling was all over you, his hands, his lips, his body. No need to say that in the morning you had admited it at least a thousand times.

In Erling’s next birthday, he gave to you the first piece of his cake.

[billsfangearring]

Honestly we (@billsfangearring @mblematic and @tahtahfornow) don't even know where to begin introducing @broomsticks right now. Jackie, you are the most AMAZING gift to this whole freaking fandom, like <3<3<3

First of all, you are a super talented writer with SUCH a gift for setting moods and choosing the PERFECT words and publishing so many beautiful, deeply compelling femslash and rarepair and dark fics! There wouldn’t even BE certain tags (Petunia/Angelina??) without you and your gorgeous vivid imagination. You are out here doing the lord’s work and nourishing some seriously underfed circles of hp fandom <3 and all we can say is THANK YOU, thank you, thaaaank you!!!!

Also you put out some amazing content for the tamer/more basic fans among us lol... your wolfstar?? your remadora?? absolute perfection with a side of magical trademark Jackie uniqueness... e.g. wolfstar from Peter’s pov, e.g. “awoo without plot,” e.g. Luna/Ginny in the garden... etc. etc. we could go on for hours. 

And not ONLY are you an amazing fic writer (!!), but you are, we think, THE kindest, most encouraging, most empathetic, most welcoming and genuinely inclusive/inclusivity-committed person we have had the fortune of encountering in this fandom! Ever! And maybe outside of the fandom too lolol.

You put so much effort and so many spoons (YOUR SILVERWARE DRAWER MUST BE SO FULL) into crafting beautiful, meaningful comments on fics that make all the work of writing SO WORTH IT for your lucky recipients, and also into reccing and boosting your fellow fic writers’ work and making us all feel so seen & appreciated & loved. (Umm Mutuals March?? You have been so kind, so generous with your time and energy, really, ohmygosh)! On top of that, you're a brilliant beta and cheerleader during the writing and editing process! You have so much insight and kindness, which combine into something extraordinary. You make us better people just by being your lovely self and sharing that with us – you truly are a rare and beautiful spirit who lights up this entire corner of the internet like a shining sun. 

And. AND. Your love for fandom itself is an inspiration. On top of all of the above, you’ve dedicated so much time since joining us jaded veterans to understanding the fandom community and its history and envisioning how to improve its culture that we all forget you haven’t been here for years! Your passion and curiosity are unmatched, and it's such a privilege to learn from you in Discord discussions, your tumblr posts, and your excellently curated and tagged reblogs on this hellsite. Thank you for your service ;)

[personally i wouldn’t even be here now if not for you so you have my eternal thanks for dragging me into the hellsite <3<3 and also for being your wonderful, wonderful self. – June]  

[I would probably be here but I’d definitely be sadder!! My eternal thanks for making both tumblr & discord a happier zone that I will never ever ever ever be able to leave. I will continue to come to you for advice p much for the rest of my life probs?? Hope you’re ready for THAT moohaha – Molly]

[I would probably still be here too but wouldn’t have written any of my own fics or nerded out quite so hard on all things fandom, so thank you for saving me from that comparatively lame existence. <3 How is it that you’re younger than me but also who I want to be when I grow up? (Don’t answer that.) – Billie]

Thank you for everything you write and everything you do, we love you so much!!!! <3

Fic recs and more below the cut!

FICS

Please check the tags for any content warnings for these fics! Take care of yourselves!

but tonight your hand is steady (James/Lily, T, 2k) – a genius character study of my (Billie's) girl Lily that showcases Jackie’s incredible economy of language without sacrificing its beauty.

the grace unasked for (Remus/Tonks, T, 17.5k) – the oh-so-lovely remadora chaptered fic! Exquisite!

how i met your mother (Fleur/Gilderoy, E, 300) – this is the Lockhart fic we all needed. Why is this canon now? Somebody get JKR on the phone (jk keep JKR away from the good stuff) 

More Than This (Remus/Sirius, T, 3k) – my (June's) fave peter POV wolfstar! Such a well done ace Peter and the clever outsider pov wolfstar makes me insane!

pleasing her (Cho/Parvati, T, 200) – DARK!FIC CHO/PAVARTI incredible. DARK. I sincerely yelled at my computer about this one, it’s incredibly effective. 

Poster of a Girl (Sirius/Bellatrix, M, 2k) – weirdly lovely mind-bendy (for me, Molly) fic with Blackcest (Sirius/Bellatrix) and Sirius experiencing gender dysphoria. 

sooner or later (it's over) (Peter/Regulus, T, 1k) – a reverse-chronological Peter character study with some brutal turns of phrase and an utterly underappreciated ship!

sssister (Astoria/Daphne, M, 300) – ��Molly don’t rec snake sex fic AGAIN” I DO WHAT I WANT

incandescence (i see me in you) (Daemon Targaryen/Rhaenyra Targaryen, E, 2.5k) – non-HP but hottttttt HOTD fic!!!

REC LISTS

Please check the tags of the recced fics for content warnings too!

leftsidedown's Collections – we would like to point you to the collections Jackie has been very quietly maintaining on AO3 with themed fic recs on top of all the rec lists she posts on tumblr! 

we love butch lesbians in this house – speaking of tumblr rec lists, Jackie always has the most interesting themes, such as multifandom butch rep…

femslash fic recs: ginny + infidelity – …this incredibly specific topic with multiple fics per pairing…

15 het Remus rare ships – …and further showing off her multishipper chops with these het (gasp!) Remus rare pairs.

halloween-themed wolfstar rec bingo – Jackie also does really fun themed bingo card rec lists, like this Halloween Wolfstar one…

dark fiction halloween rec bingo – …these darker and creepier spooky season recs…

wolfstar autumn rec bingo – …and these recs containing all the fall vibes you could ever wish for!

FANDOM ANALYSIS

What was the HP fandom on AO3 writing in 2022?

more miscellaneous stats for HP fics updated in 2022

wolfstar fandom survey results

atyd fic popularity stats

no. of kudos and age of fic: some very confused stats? – more “popularity” over time stats for fics featuring the biggest hp ships

The Fanfic Maverick: Fanfiction History with Talkin' Fanfic PART TWO – liveblogging a fandom history podcast episode with added links!

Fansplaining: Fan Labor, Fan Consumption – liveblogging a fandom meta podcast episode on fan labor!

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Whew! We could go on but this post is already very long (thank you for appreciating broomsticks enough to read to the end!) so we'll leave things here. We adore you, Jackie!

Love,

Billie, June, and Molly <3

[flowersandbirdsflyingfree]

My dearest Tank,

I’m so sorry if none of the things I wanted to make posted on time. This whole year was a rough journey. I made some great friends and lost some too. A car literally drove through the house recently, so that might’ve been a factor to consider too (my brain still feels the shake). I find this whole year the strangest part of my growth, where I had to look inside myself and really break down who I am past everything after a whole decade of drama… maybe more…

Even with all this, you love me despite it all. No matter how far I stray with a muddied mind… it always comes back to you. I can’t bring myself to ever let go because you’re the one person I wish I could take this world on with.

Everyone has that one thing they need to keep going. That reminder of why they need to get up in the fight. You’re that one thing for me. You remind me that I should never settle for less. That there are things in this world worth smiling about, that there are people willing to be there for both good times and bad. To me, you’re living proof that there is good in this world.

You remind me a lot of the bold rays of sunlight that warm someone after enduring the whirlwind of a lingering thunderstorm. And much like that sun, you unapologetically shine as you should. You never changed that kick-ass attitude. I’m always amazed by you. You’ve got valor, you’re integrable, you have a great sense of humor and under that iron exterior is a gold-hearted man. One who’s incredibly handsome, by the way.

I know this is probably a bit too sappy for your liking. But I at least wanted to tell you what you deserved to know. If I could, I’d give you the biggest hug right now and kiss you a bunch. Thank you for being my best friend. For helping me smile more and for aiding me in fighting the good fight that life drafted me into. Happy anniversary, Tank.

I love you, forever and always,

Madeline

[bunbeeplays]

The Lemon Legacy: Generation 1, Chapter 34 - A Wedding With Pizzazz, Part 2

Miko: We’re not supposed to see each other until we walk down the aisle!

Penny: When have I ever cared about tradition? You’re more important to me than some lame superstition. You look absolutely stunning.

Miko: I mean, you do too, of course.

Miko: You’re wearing white. Why?

Penny: I know for a fact you’re not a virgin either, hon.

Miko: No no, I just mean… you hate wearing white.

Penny: Did you expect me to wear a dress made of peacock feathers on our wedding day? … Actually, don’t answer that.

Penny: I know I dress a little wild on the daily, but today is about celebrating us, Mimi. I wanted to match my beautiful wife.

Miko: Oh, sweetie.

Penny: We’re a team. A united front. We both get to shine today, and for the rest of our lives.

Penny: I don’t ever want to hear you doubt how much I love you ever again, do you understand me?

Miko: I-I…

Penny: I have lived a blessed, amazing, fabulous life, and the best damn thing that ever happened in it was meeting you. You’re the most kind, selfless, and positive person I have ever met. You’ve celebrated my highs and picked me up during my lows. You were there for me when all my fake ass Simstagram friends never were. If I kept listing what I see in you we’ll miss the whole damn wedding.

Penny: I love you, Miko. And you know when I love something, I love it to the max. I’m the one who asked you to marry me, y’know. You’re never getting rid of me. Deal with it.

Miko: I love you too, baby.

Miko: Oh Watcher, I feel like a mess

Penny: A beautiful mess.

Miko: I’ll go see if the makeup artist can help me freshen up.

Penny: I'll be right behind you in a second, Mimi.

Ophelia: How much did you hear?

Penny: Enough. Thank you for being there for Miko. She struggles with her self-esteem a lot, and that PlumBright piece didn't help. Despite everything that’s happened, it’s nice to know there are still decent Sims out there. Needless to say, the band will be getting a big tip tonight.

Ophelia: I didn’t come find Miko or say that stuff because I was worried I wouldn't get paid or tipped.

Penny: I know. That’s why you’re getting it.

Penny: Let’s keep in touch. You have my personal number, but I'll send you my business contact info later. I like you, and that’s a rare thing to actually mean in my line of work. I don’t have a ton of music connections but you’ll be the first person I call when someone asks.

Ophelia: That's so sweet, thank you!

Penny: You got dragged because of me, I owe you something.

Ophelia: Hey, friends stick by each other through thick and thin. And like the article said, I'm your talentless friend!

Penny: What more could a tacky, self-obsessed girl ask for?

It's not so lovey-dovey up in the Laurents' office.

Tiff: You can’t blame me for Ty’s work!

Hilary: There’s no way he would have known most of that without you telling him.

Tiff: Anyone could tell that those women are total disasters!

Hilary: Enough! Your disrespect has been tolerated for far too long, but you will not disrespect my clients and their privacy. Penny and Miko no longer feel comfortable having you participate in the wedding, and I don’t feel comfortable having you as an employee. You’re fired.

Tiff: You can’t be serious!

Hilary: You have been given several chances to curb your attitude. You failed every single time. Security will escort you off site.

Tiff: Forget it. I’m out of here. You’ll regret this, Hilary.

Hilary: Goodbye, Tiffany.

As Ophelia walks back inside to ready herself before her performance at the reception, she's unfortunate enough to run into Tiff, who can't even be escorted away by security with any humility.

Tiff: I hope you’re happy. You and your friends may have won the battle, but this war is far from over.

Ophelia: This wasn’t a battle. You’ve been the only one fighting and you fought so hard you gave yourself a black eye!

Tiff: You’ll see! YOU'LL ALL SEE!

Hilary: I apologize for my former employee’s behavior. I hate to ask this of you, but would you be willing to fill in on the violin? Anaya will cover Tiff’s portion, you would just accompany with Alice.

Ophelia: I know the song. I’ve got this.

The violin trio starts the processional song, along with Moses on the piano. It's go-time.

Penny: Last chance to bail.

Miko: And give up having the last name Pizzazz? You're dreaming, sweetie.

Penny: That's my girl.

It's now or never. Let's do this!

You may now kiss the bride!

Penny and Miko Pizzazz walk back up the aisle, feeling more in love than ever before. The hate, the panic, the chaos of the past 24 hours didn't matter.

This feeling is what they'll remember in their elder years.

[darlingpwease]

I'm so sorry there 2.3k words, here's like a little intro to it tho???? The first part ig

hhhh I'm sorry if it's sloppy :'))

-panna cotta

Ookok, what about sorcerer/wizard!Yuuta who befriends sick!reader??

People who are gifted with magic are highly appreciated in society, for they can help out not only villages, no, cities in struggle, but whole countries, entire nations if they so wish. However, they’re incredibly rare to appear. Throughout the whole world, there will barely be even 30 people with those gifts. Being able to have inhumane abilities, unable to get sick, increased strength and agility, they truly were amazing souls.

That's why you were so surprised when you met Yuuta, and even became friends with him. Why would a person like him talk to a person like you? You don’t stand out well, you’re a pretty average person, in both skills and appearance, and you live in a shabby house, with an incredibly boring job as a farmer. Meanwhile Yuuta is probably the most stunning person you’ve ever met, and his magic always blows you away.

He loves to show you little tricks and see your reaction. Your face always brightens in awe, no matter how big or small it is. He’s always nervous to show you in case you don’t find it impressive, but when your eyes shine, and you say how amazing and great he is, he can’t help but flush as his chest feels all fuzzy and his stomach flutters.

You two met because Yuuta got injured while helping out nearby towns. His mana was drained after constant use for multiple days, and thus, when he crossed paths with monsters, he wasn’t able to fight properly.

You stumbled upon him right as he narrowly escaped, and when he looked at you after he crashed into your chest, stuttering out apologies, you couldn’t help but take him back to your tiny house to help treat him.

You saved him, and he can’t help but feel like he owes you his life.

Thus, your relationship bloomed. And even now, 4 years later, he still visits you whenever he can. You both send each other letters when Yuuta has to travel far to help aid other places, and you both can’t help but feel so stupidly happy when your eyes carefully gaze upon the ink placed upon the paper from your new messages.

You cherish your moments with Yuuta, he’s just so pretty, so amazing, so perfect that sometimes you can’t help but wonder if he’s even real at all. What if he is just part of a wonderful dream that you don’t want to wake from??

But when he gently caresses your hand with a flustered look, timidly looking you in the eye, you can’t help but not want to leave him. Not that he wants to leave either, he wants to stay by your side forever.

Yuuta adores you, you are the light of his life. His savior. He always struggles with people, especially with that voice constantly in the back of his head telling him to be careful, to not trust them.. But with you, everything seems wonderful, and he never wants to leave. Whenever he gets summoned to a place far from you, it's like a horrible pain in his chest, a constant pressure. He gains more praise from people now, ‘he gets it done so quickly, he is so amazing!! Truly gifted!’, ‘So powerful!’. ‘He must be the best alive!!’ but only he knows, it’s only done quicker so he can go to you as soon as possible.

It’s almost a need for him to be with you.

You love being with him, hearing his stories, seeing new spells, everything about him is amazing. He loves being with you, experiencing your cooking, your warmth, you.

The gentle caresses you give each other, the long tender holds from a long separation, the comforting hugs given, the soft kisses given to one another thinking the other is asleep…

You are each other's joy. Each other's warmth.

Even after you both confess, the warm cozy nights spent together, affectionate heart-filled promises for the future, giggling under covers as if you were children, the poorly sung songs you both love to sing together, shy kisses given to each other, gentle gazes given throughout all the hours you spend together– it never seems enough, even though the euphoric rush given always seems too much, you’d happily accept more and more.

The childish joy in the days with the two of you is almost beautifully precious.

Even when he is a sobbing mess underneath you, harsh pants leaving you both as you press against each other as much as physically possible… The messy kisses exchanged, the hushed ‘love you’s spoken throughout those times…

Although Yuuta hates leaving you, you always make him cute little trinkets to take with him. ‘A little piece of me for you to accompany you’, you’d say. It gets to the point where he has his own bag he carries with him just full of them. He’d never tell you how he kisses them when he’s away though, secretly hoping you can somehow feel them despite the distance.

Just a glance at the bag has him smiling with joy. You are his world. You are his life. His everything.

He loves it when he returns, walking up the path to the house he calls home. He always sees you waiting by the door, or already outside. The moment your name leaves his lips, the way your face lights up when you see him, when you run up to him and scoop him into your arms, he can’t help but smile til his cheeks hurt. Loving laughs leaving both of you.

He ignores the nagging feeling, though. The way those voices drip into his ears, warning him that you will leave him. But he knows you won’t. He won’t let you.

The first time a fever fell on you, Yuuta panicked. He has never been sick himself, and when he sees how tired and weak you look, he’s scared. Why are you sick?? What does he do? You’ll be okay, right? Although he can help out whole countries, he can’t heal people. He can’t heal you. How is he so useless when it comes to this?? It was a struggle the first time, that's for sure.

However, as time moved forward, he learned how to take care of you, as you did him, when you ever got ill. He owes you his life, after all, and he’d lovingly do whatever you asked. He will take care of you, sharing the joy and appreciation he felt for you since the first time you both met.

That’s why when another fever fell, he wasn’t as worried as he was the first time. Obviously, he was still concerned, you never got this hot, you never looked this weak– but he knows you will get better. He will help you get better.

You smile so lovingly, so brightly, so gently as he gives you medicine and feeds you. You can’t help the way it spreads on your face as he tells you about what new story he has to share with you. The animated way he talks when he gets into it, only to snap out of it with timid embarrassment, the way he still clumsily caresses your hair, not minding how sticky and damp it feels through the sweat.

The way he quietly asks how you feel, the way he kisses you softly, almost as if he was worried you would break, the way he gently wipes your lips after you eat, how he worries over you, worrying if you’re sleeping okay, is your stomach sore? Your throat?? Any headache? Chills?? you can’t help but want to kiss him all over. How is he so cute??

He gives you the best medicine he can find, he makes sure the house is at a good temperature all the time, he makes sure you are as comfortable as you can be.

He’s giving you all he can, he owes you that much. He owes you so much

So why.

Why aren’t you getting better?

He doesn’t understand. He did everything he has done before, you got better then, so what’s different now?? Why does nothing seem to work??

The feeling of dread heavily climbs up him as more days go by, but your condition only seems to worsen. Why??

You seem to know something is wrong, too. You were having headaches before your fever, but you shrugged it off. You were doing your best to look better, but from the way Yuuta looked at you as the days moved forward, you know that you aren’t doing a good job. You just feel horrible. You feel like something is wrong, very very wrong.

But you can’t let Yuuta know that.

You two promised to be together until you both grew old and wrinkly. To travel around the globe, meet new people, see new things. To live in this shabby but comforting home until nature holds it long after you two leave its warmth. To wear matching clothes, have matching trinkets. Try new foods, and enjoy old ones.

You promised you wouldn’t leave him.

So why does it feel like you’re getting further and further away? You are right here. Right in front of him. He sees you, smells you, he feels you. He has you right here. So why does he feel that way?

You’re not leaving him, right? You wouldn’t. He would never let you. He owes you his life. His life, his whole being is yours, so why won’t you get better? He’s doing his best, please know he is doing his best, so don’t go. He doesn’t think he can live anymore without you by his side.

He knows he needs to find a healer right away when you sleep more. The way your breath is so, so heavy as wheezes leave your mouth. You’ve lost so much weight, you are more in a daze than you are not. He hears you when he leaves the room, the way you croak about how sorry you were and how sore everything was.

Oh no no no nononono, no dear no don’t apologize, he loves you dearly, can’t you see? He’d give you the world. He will do anything for you, so just get better. Okay? He will get you the best healer alive, okay??

You barely understood what he was saying when he told you that he wouldn’t leave your side. Your mind was so groggy. Everything hurt, and you could barely stomach food, drinking was becoming hard too. Everything was spinning, and you couldn’t help but feel both scalding hot but freezing cold simultaneously. You were so tired. Fuck, so so tired.

Yuuta can’t help but cry sometimes as he sees you now. He can see you changing. Leaving. A fellow sorcerer he knows is on their way. The letter said they should be there in less than a week. They’re an amazing healer, they’re known for their miracles, so they will help you. They will.

He should be happy, help is on the way! But when he looks at you, he doesn’t know if that will be good enough. They should be here now. He feels like a child throwing a tantrum.

Tears of frustration and angry sobs leave him. He doesn’t get it. What the hell is going on? Why is this happening?? You’re leaving him. You're so sick, why can’t he help? He is useless and is fucking up every second as you’re still not better. Why can’t you get better? Did he do something wrong and your mad at him? He’s sorry. He’s really really sorry, so please stop this and get better, please? Go back to normal, pretty please?? Please stop.

He lays his head next to you, too anxious that he might make you feel uncomfortable with his body heat if he gets too close. When your gazes meet, a worried look versus a muddled one, he can’t help himself from crying. Oh, love, he’d take this all away from you if he could. He’s trying, he’s really fucking trying. Please know that he’s trying so hard.

Gripping your hand, tenderly kissing it, he gently sings the songs you two would love to sing. Your weak smile, your awfully quiet hums, they hurt him. Where did your brightness go? Your energy? Oh, my dear, he will get you better. You have to.

But you don’t.

He doesn’t know what happened. You fell asleep, still gently smiling, he even slept next to you tonight. His palm was on your chest, feeling your heart's scarily slow and calm thumps, but it will be okay. Help is almost here.

It should have been okay.

But, as he awoke, he felt something was wrong. Stiffening, he slowly moves his gaze to his palm. Why can’t he feel anything? Why can’t he feel any thumping?

He suddenly is aware of just how stiff you are, how you seem cooler than before… How you aren’t waking up.

Hey, wake up.

Yuuta sits up quickly, tenderly shaking you at first, “C’mon, dear, wake up.” He says.

No movement.

As more minutes pass, his grip tightens. He shakes harder, speaks louder until he is eventually screaming for you to ‘Wake up! Wake up, please!’

Panic is all that runs through him. This is wrong. This isn’t supposed to happen.

No, no no nonono this can’t be happening. This isn’t happening.

You’re just sleeping! That’s right. You’ve looked so exhausted lately, you must be taking a deep rest, that’s all! Of course!

He lets out a chuckle, of course! How could he be so stupid. You used to sleep a lot in the past when you were sick, you will wake up soon. No, no you won’t, you’re dea–

He lovingly strokes your hair before going to grab some medicine.

That’s right, you’re all okay. Everything is okay.

The healer should be here any day now, any day. Soon. So soon, then you will be okay.

Yuuta can’t help but smile tenderly when he looks at your face, it’s stiff why is it stiff–

Leaning over, he presses a kiss on your forehead.

Yes. You are okay.