#wank i guess

[ladyinthebluebox]

[infernaleikon]

the mute list for obikin related stuff just keeps growing and growing

[danmeireader]

-

i hate that im now actively wishing for my sv fixation to be over. i mean, it doesn't feel fair because i love sv the most out of the three books, and i was having fun for the first 4 whole years in fandom. but then sometime in 2022 after the official releases, the fanon just. took over. now aside from a couple blogs and authors that i adore, i just unfollow, mute, or block everyone. idk WHICH characters yall are talking about... but it is what it is.

it's just not fun reading fics, being on edge, waiting for fanon sniveling spineless binghe, or mean sj-like sqq.

ive been trying a few new books/shows, but either they don't have that connection, or they don't really have an eng fandom to speak of. like mr queen (though it does have some very cool fics/art)

[darlingofdots]

the vast majority of fanworks are bad, and that's fine, actually. they are bad for the same reason that the average number of legs for a human person to have is less than two: statistics. like with all endeavours and especially creative ones, most people who write fanfiction or draw art of their favourite characters are bad at it. if you line up all the crochet projects in the world, most of them will be, well, bad. some are bad because they're the first thing a person ever made, or the second or third or tenth, and this kind of thing takes practice. others are bad because the person who made them is just not very good at it. maybe they just learned how to make granny squares and they're perfectly happy to never expand or improve on that. most people who dance or bake or garden or braid hair are not amazing at it! and you'd never go to your kid's dance recital or eat your friend's homemade carrot cake and expect the same experience as you'd have at a professional ballet performance or award-winning bakery. And that's if we assume there is an objective measure of Good Art, which there isn't! Some art is just "bad" because you don't like it!

I think though that specifically with fanfiction, we sometimes forget that when we read a book or watch a movie, dozens of people have looked at it and given feedback and made changes and done quality control before the final product reaches our shelves or screens, and that's not counting the original writer's learning process and past experience. A published book is not anyone's first crochet project, even if it is their debut novel. But with fanfiction, the barrier to entry is so low (on purpose! this is a good thing!) that we do get to see a lot of wonky granny squares, and on sites like AO3 they're sitting on the same shelf as the hand-made silk lace wedding dress and you can't always tell just by looking at it which is which. The consequence of this is that we encounter fic that we think is unpolished, has bad punctuation, is out of character, and we are tempted to think "well, this is awful! how dare this person put this wonky granny square on the same shelf as the lace wedding dress!" But that's not how fandom is supposed to work! That wonky granny square is somebody who is really excited about this TV show they just watched and they are reaching out into the void to share their excitement with you. To scoff at them for not making a lace wedding dress is really, really rude. Even if they did make a lace wedding dress, maybe it's just really not your style, or you think they should have used a different pattern, and it's still their wedding dress. You don't have to wear the dress and you don't have to read the fic.

We all know that there is some fanfic out there that is incredible. I think it's important to talk about that! But the vast majority of people who post their writing online are just sharing their little hobby projects that they make for fun and I also think it's important to remember that.

[thevioletcaptain]

y'know, the different factions of spn fandom on tumblr do fundamentally and vehemently disagree with each other about a lot of things, and many of the factions actively hate one another, but i just want to say for the record that i appreciate the fact that this site is not overrun with painfully hetero facebook fans. i just saw someone over there saying with their whole chest that they fully expected the finale to have dean meeting jo harvelle in heaven and them getting afterlife married, and someone else angrily responded that this was obviously never going to happen because clearly dean was still in love with lisa braeden who would therefore be his finale bride (i guess this person expected her to die in the finale somehow?), and then someone ELSE responded that they wouldn't want to see either of those things happen because they like to pretend dean is their boyfriend and it would feel like cheating(!!!!) if he ended up with one of them and they'd never be able to fantasize about him anymore. and all of these comments had over a dozen people agreeing with them.

[jolalibrary]

I miss when we were gardeners. when we tended to our fandom garden as a collective, instead of worrying that someone was making their part of the garden fancier than yours. I remember when people didn’t expect that it would be here tomorrow, when we lived in fear that we’d wake up and a site that housed our words would be gone, vanished. now, we don’t even care when our faves vanish and their blog becomes abandoned. we used to nurture fandom because it was an escape from the acting some of us had to do day to day, that we could be ourselves here. it feels—at times now—that people walk in, pluck a flower and leave. that if you’re not posting something new, your use is so little. but then, I remember when gif makers were respected and appreciated, and never had their work stolen and immediately put on twitter, and when moodboard makers and artists were adorned with so many reblogs and comments with ideas and headcanons that aided in new stories being generated. now no one shares any ideas out of fear some blog will write it first and you’ll be accused of stealing what you’ve spent months on. I remember when writers were seen as people who were just as talented as the people I’ve mentioned before, when people acknowledged how long it took to write a chapter or a one-shot. now, we’re easily replaceable, whether it’s AI or we’re simply not quick enough that people don’t want to invest. I remember waiting six months for an update on my fave fic, and I never felt slighted by it. because we liked being in fandom? we liked being supportive of everyone in it. we didn’t like everyone in it, because that’s impossible, but we didn’t make it our mission to burn them until they left, because we understood that even a gardener we didn’t like, was still someone cultivating a flower for someone we couldn’t make on our own. the saying it takes a village applies to fandom, and the question we need to be asking ourselves is: are we all doing our part or just taking and hoping it’ll be there to take from tomorrow?

[bucksboobs]

It’s not just 805 even. 806 also spends most of its run time telling you “these two like each other, there’s somethings they don’t know about each other but they’re willing to learn and grow.” And then in the 11th hour it gets ripped away in a way that, had it not been for the interviews, would seem like the beginning of a breakup/makeup plot. They want to be together, they said so in the breakup scene. Everything in the show points to them getting back together (anecdotally, the irl casual watcher friend I have thinks they are getting back together)

Like say whatever about Lakers Tickets but Buck said out loud “I could [see a future there].” “Why be apart when we could be together” “[the First and Last] could be the same thing.” He wants this. Tommy said he was doing this because he couldn’t handle it if Buck broke his heart which implies he knew he was falling in love. They want to be together but Tommy is scared (and we don’t know why) so it reads as temporary. And then I read the interviews. And they act like this is the end. And that just makes me sad and angry and I just want one person to acknowledge how much they hurt a significant portion of their audience.

[cilil]

Ok, really not tryna vague or be shady, but I just gotta say: I do not and will never understand why there's so much drama around ships becoming canon or not.

Seriously, why do you care. Is your ship game that weak? Do you need a stamp of approval from other people for what you like and how you creatively express yourself? Because, sorry, but that's technically what that is and you don't need it.

C'mere. Come to auntie. Listen. I multiship like crazy and lots of weird and niche rare pairs too. Whenever any of my ships become canon that's pretty much an accident and a statistical outlier and because I just happened to like what the creators like for once. And then I usually think "oh that's nice" and go on with my madness. No getting smug and using it to put others down either!

I'm telling you this because I simply can't stress enough how much more chill and fun shipping is if you become deeply unbothered by what's canon, what the creators think and what other people approve of. Again, you need nobody's stamp of approval. And if people nag and bully you about what you like then these people suck and they have no right to demand explanations from you.

Make your case not to justify yourself to bullies - they won't be convinced anyway - but to get other people interested. Make your case through your art, your writing, your headcanons, your conversations with other fans. Make your case through passion.

And stop letting others tell you what you can and can't ship. Which goes both ways, just saying.

Ok, that's it, bye

[samwinchestermydude]

I think we as Sam fans should be more annoying and loud about the fact that his crossroad demons were men twice.

(This is me being pissed off about how people will say dean is of course bi due to some dumb shit like the siren, which was his brother, and “bi lighting” or something, and then turn around and say Sam is the straightest character. Like what.)

[qprstobin]

I'm gonna be frank, Eddie just does not give me the impression that he was bullied all that much in high school to me. Especially as he got older, like he was the school drug dealer, he was not getting beat up by the same jocks who were going to be buying from him later that week. It just doesn't make sense to me!

I'm not saying he was never bullied at all (personally I think he was probably bullied by the people in his grade in like middle school, but leant more into the satanic image by the time he got to high school (which is when the satanic panic wouldve been starting) and people became more afraid to mess with him or it stopped when BS started dealing) or that people can't headcanon and project onto pm. It's fandom, do what you want lol. I've just gotten to the point where fics lose me whenever they claim Tommy/Steve/Jason was going around beating the shit out of him or shoving him in the halls every week or the like. Eddie just does not give the impression that he is scared of the jocks normally. He looks down on them and thinks he's better than them! He taunts them openly in front of everyone and pontificates on table tops.

I think if you take it in that context too, it makes the town turning on him more sinister? Like obviously, satanic panic was only growing at that point, and it was within the last year or two they started pointing at metal and D&D as recruiting centers for satanic cults. (Eddie also like an asshole is walking around with a satanic symbol on his jacket - peak edgy teen in the middle of a moral outcry.) But while people might've been afraid of him, and most definitely talked about him behind his back, that's worlds away from mob violence. The change was startling, even if Eddie might be able to see it on the horizon.

Idk to me that's more of what the hunt the freak line was about. The knowledge that they could turn on you and would if you gave them a reason (or if you want to go with the Eddie is closeted interpretation - if he got outed). I think he probably has been called the freak for a while but honestly I think he's proud of it at this point.

Obviously all of this is up to interpretation, I guess I've just gotten to the point where a lot of the popular fanon interpretation doesn't feel like Eddie to me anymore

[spatort-brainrot]

Was ist denn plötzlich im spatort fandom los? Man liest hier auf einmal Dinge über Spaltungen und fake leaks und Leute die das fandom "verlassen" wollen... Guys curating your fandom experience is okay! Just don't follow people you don't want to follow! Seid nur in Servern wo ihr Spaß habt! Blacklists und Blockfunktion existieren aus nem Grund! Nicht alles so ernst nehmen!

Ich verstehe, dass nicht jeder seit 10+ Jahren in online spaces unterwegs ist und die Erfahrungen gemacht hat die ich z.b. gemacht habe. Ich habe fandom wars gesehen like you can't even imagine. Der Trick ist einfach offline zu gehen! It's not real!!

Leute haben eine andere Interpretation? Let them! Leute wollen eher Pia und Esther sehen als Adam und Leo? Let them!! Leute schreiben omegaverse smut fic und dir gefällt es nicht? OKAY DON'T READ IT. Man kann Schauspieler für ihr acting mögen oder in einer Rolle feiern aber sie trotzdem kritisieren/cringe finden/mal ne Rolle blöd finden!! Just keep it in fandom spaces und harrassed niemanden und gut is. Es kann auch mal Spaß machen andere Takes zu lesen und sich zu denken 'boah die Person labert quatsch' - aber kommentier es nicht drunter. Schon wird niemand verletzt!

Fandom kann so fun sein. Mein Appell: organisiert euch selbst eure fandom experience, sucht euch aus mit wem ihr interagiert und findet außer spatort andere Gemeinsamkeiten. Wenn Spatort era endet bin ich sad, ja, aber guess what! Es gibt noch viele andere Sachen mit denen man sich beschäftigen kann.

Be nice to each other!

[edwinspaynes]

Maybe I just have my period and am in a grumpy mood but I am finding the TSC fandom deeply discouraging lately.

I'm very happy to have gotten the exact story I wanted with TLH, and having the full thing to reread regularly brings me immense joy.

But still, I miss the old days where there was something to look forward to and theorize about, and when the rest of the fandom was still TLH-positive too.

I miss getting engagement on my fanfiction beyond 10 hits and 2 kudos if I'm lucky. I miss feeling like I'm part of something.

I'm sick of constantly feeling like I'm defending something I love that 98% of people vocally dislike. I'm sick of feeling ostracized from every non-TLH-centric space in the TSC fandom, and I'm sick of having to watch my TLH fandom friends isolate as a result of the same struggles I'm experiencing.

Honestly, I could deal with a few people not liking it - obviously, I respect people's opinions and could just block them. But the mass scope of hate is ridiculous to the point that hating TLH is a given norm in most TSC fandom spaces and shitting on it is perfectly acceptable and even an expected part of being there.

[persephinae]

I returned it to the library thru Libby

This book was. So. Fucking. Boring. holy shit

Like sometimes I go back and read old romance books or authors for nostalgia or to get the flavor of the time period it was written in

But my god this book was boring

If you like reading Jude Deveraux, great, whatever, but "The Temptress" was the snoozetress.

How you can make a story about cowboys and a woman who ran away from home to live her life free of societal expectations boring would have seemed impossible before, but this book proves it can be done.

Christ alive

I gave up and called it quits

Blluurghhhh I'm reading this old western romance from 1986 and it's just blurghh

So much 2nd hand embarrassment, the heroine is like a disney princess, the love interest is one dimensional, none of these people have a personality beyond "bland"

Even though the main character is a woman reporter in the late 1800s, going against her father's wishes, running away from home, living on the other side of the continental unites states and being able to shoot and take care of herself, she's still a bland disney princess who hardly ever loses her temper or when she does, it's still in a genteel manner idk

And the love interest was rescued from prison by her father for the sole purpose of dragging her back home, as he was the best tracker in the territory - even he is bland, he's written like a lost puppy who's decided he can't have her, but it's all in the most pathetic soppy toast way possible

And the guy her father is trying to marry her to, who's actually just after her money and condescends to her every time he breathes, is just a pathetic creep

blurghhhhh

[buckley-kinard]

genuinely baffled by people saying bucktommy “only has platonic chemistry” / that they don’t see any chemistry when they kiss…

like aside from buck’s tongue being down tommy’s throat in the hospital—the eye contact, hand gestures, etc in both kiss scenes made me blush to watch. WHAT show are they watching?

[louferrignojrofficial]

It’s the fact Eddie isn’t even finishing bucks sentences lmao he’s just adding commentary in between bucks sentences. They literally don’t see reality at all!

you could even say he’s interrupting him

exactly but no he’s just so his husband and has to finish buck’s sentences to let tommy know how much he doesn’t know and how he’s not part of the team and blah fucking blah.

[lemongizumo]

I didn’t want to make any public posts about what’s been happening in the past days in our fandom because of my health issues. Some of you know, mostly people I consider my friends now, others because I was offering emergency commissions to solve hospital and treatment costs, but my health isn’t that good lately and the level of drama, intensity and everything around this topic was affecting me. Still is a bit. However, after everything that has come out, so many similar experiences, so many people being manipulated, hurt and damaged because of this one individual who I considered my friend, I can’t remain silent anymore. I just can’t. I’m still shocked and feeling so many emotions, from sadness to concern, from disappointment to anger. Even guilty for not realizing how disgusting this person was. It’s unbelievable.

I won’t go into any details, those involved know everything that needs to be known. I will not share screenshots either but there are plenty to prove what this person tried to do until the end and how many people she damaged.

I became her friend months ago, around August/September of last year. I considered her a real friend, a good one even, she was nice to me all the time and talked to me every day for all these months. She bought my friendship with love bombing, gifts, with praise about my art and me, a fucking naïve idiot, thought she was sincere. I never noticed the red flags until it was too late, how she was collecting artists along the way and discarding the ones that weren’t useful. She was after popular people, writers and artists, anyone that could give her status. She wanted her name seen everywhere and she invaded every space she could. She also promoted her server to anybody who had big numbers or was known in the HG fandom.

I didn’t know anybody in the fandom, only some names I followed because I admired their art or writing. I always spent my days in any fandom as a spectator, doing fanart and having casual conversations but not getting close to anybody. She was the first person I let get close to me.

I trusted her and that was a mistake I’ll regret for a long time.

She took advantage of me not knowing anybody, she used me as a dumpster bin to trash talk about others, she played victim over and over again, she claimed some people hated her, and she made me believe so many things that I later discovered weren’t real. She twisted reality to her convenience; she created a false narrative where she was the poor victim who was attacked constantly and that she only wanted the best for everybody. She just wanted to be ‘nice.’

Knowing English isn’t my first language and sometimes it’s hard for me to understand certain expressions, she used that to be able to act as a bigot without me noticing until it was too late.

And I believed her. I believe every single fucking word she said about others, because why would she lie? She was just trusting me with things, right? She was just warning me about people, she cared about me, she was just looking out for me.

I’m a good friend, I know I am. Friendship has always been important to me, and I’m faithful to whoever I care about. I thought I was being a good friend to her by defending her and giving her my thoughts and opinions about all these ‘awful’ people who didn’t like her and were against her.

She just wanted an ally.

Her love bombing and praise only lasted until I didn’t act the way she wanted.

I confronted one of her ‘friends’ in her server after that person was exposing an innocent writer just to humiliate them. I was mistreated and attacked. She, the owner, didn’t do anything to stop it while I was telling her in dms what was happening. She didn’t do anything at all because she didn’t care.

She didn’t care either when I showed her proof that her friend was a terf. I was worried, I was so naïve I thought maybe this person didn’t know about her friend being transphobic. But she knew. She didn’t act surprised, she just did her best to clarify she wasn’t a terf ‘by association’ in between jokes and tried to justify her friend over and over again. She dismissed my worries and acted like it wasn’t such a big deal.

I trusted her to the point I felt safe enough to tell her I am autistic and how hard it was growing up not knowing that, how everyone treated me as if I was dumb when I was a kid and a teenager. Her attitude towards me changed after she knew my diagnosis. From treating me like I was a child to a condescending way to talk to me whenever I did ‘wrong.’

I supported her when she decided to create a BB just to be called silly and treated as stupid because I wouldn’t join if the terf was there. She simply didn’t care I was affected because I’m non-binary and trans. She just wanted artists for her shitty event because she needed to make a name among other events. She kept insisting that I join, even after she knew the terf was going to be a part of the event. She wanted me to be a pinch hitter artist.

I finally opened my eyes after my medical emergency in February. I decided to open emergency commissions to help with the costs and that led me to talk to people I never talked to before. People this individual didn’t want me to talk to.

I don’t know why things happen but everything seems to happen for a reason. Some people that reached out to me to help me were people this individual talked shit about over and over again for months. And to my surprise, they were nothing like I was made to believe. On the contrary, these people were sweet, nice, and were actually sincere.

Her reaction to me talking to them was passive-aggressive comments, jokily threats and playing the victim. She also started giving me the silent treatment in order to manipulate me again. Which, luckily, didn’t work.

This disgusting individual lied so much I have spent the last few days wondering how much of what she said was true and how much was bullshit. She tried to mess with friendships, she tried to ruin a relationship, she made racist and transphobic comments, she lied about so many people that didn’t deserve it, she thought her lies wouldn’t catch up to her and kept acting like a ‘mean girl’ who wanted to be number one in popularity. She thought having popular friends, who she bragged about, would keep her away from anything.

She thought she was safe and that I was stupid enough to keep believing her.

I’m not stupid. I never was.

And I will not remain silent while she still plays victim, while she decided to blame ME for all of her fucking mess.

When this whole thing exploded, she desperately tried to convince someone she wasn’t bad, that it was all a misunderstanding and that she was just venting to me. A good pity party because she was being called out and she didn’t expect it. She tried to convince them that I was to blame. She didn’t hesitate to throw me under the bus, to make anyone believe I was the villain, exposing me with screenshots, for all we know, were probably manipulated by her. It is now known that she edits, changes and deletes messages.

I’m not a villain for exposing the truth to people I now care about. To people who have been nothing but nice to me even tho they are aware I said awful things about them based on what this individual told me. She tried to brainwash me with her lies and almost succeeded.

The past few weeks have been hard. But it’s harder to see how many others she hurt.

She’s not a good person no matter how much she tried to act like one. Her disgusting behavior led to so much damage and she got me involved in it, using me until the end.

This behavior is not ‘fandom drama,’ it is dangerous behavior, one that should not be tolerated or accepted. Fandom is not a place to escalate in popularity, to surround yourself with popular artists just to get something from them. Fandom should be a safe place for us to enjoy, to escape from reality, from the real world that is hard enough for so many of us.

I will not let her step on me anymore. I will not be her scapegoat. And she will not get my sympathy anymore.

Please be safe out there, do not let these people harm us anymore. This individual and her fucking terf friend can go fuck themselves.

I am so tired.