#I just get annoyed when people insist that dean is bi in clearly canon and that was intended

[samwinchestermydude]

I think we as Sam fans should be more annoying and loud about the fact that his crossroad demons were men twice.

(This is me being pissed off about how people will say dean is of course bi due to some dumb shit like the siren, which was his brother, and “bi lighting” or something, and then turn around and say Sam is the straightest character. Like what.)

[eisforeidolon]

There are generally two main things that annoy me about the vast majority of bi!Dean meta I've seen:

1.  The insistence that it's somehow canon.  This is bafflingly regardless of the part where it relies on cherry picking minutiae to “interpret” and insists those interpretations are equally valid just because someone could come up with them (… words fail me).  As well as being fundamentally reliant upon those micro moment “interpretations” magically counting more than Dean's entire overt sexual history and everything he has directly said about his own orientation, consistently, across thirteen years of show.  Not even to mention the part where a not-insignificant-proportion of it is based on Jensen making intense eye contact (you know, like innumerable people who have been to cons say he does with everyone) and licking his lips (again, which Jensen clearly does all the time as a personal tic apropos of nothing). Which is when it's not literally based on random set dressing. And that's even before you get to the bullshit insistence that Jensen, who has made unambiguous statements about how he plays his character's sexuality, just doesn't get acting or his character or how plots work – that final nail in the coffin of insultingly smug stupidity.  

2.  The conflation of masculinity with both sexuality and undesirability.  Which is where the whole “performing Dean” theory usually comes in.  Declaring someone emotional as Dean must not be openly into dudes because stern macho John was obviously a homophobe and beat it out of him. That Dean disdaining the ostentatiousness of cucumber-flavored water must inherently be about appearing sufficiently masculine and therefore liking it when he tries it is a direct but super sneakret signal Dean constantly lies to himself and will soon accept his REAL sexuality.  How Dean continuing to fulfill the urge for sex with random hookups and being dissatisfied can't possibly have anything to do with their impermanence, lack of emotional intimacy, and his increased age – he obviously only keeps doing it to try and show everyone he doesn't secretly want dick because of course he actually does!  Along with plenty of other bizarre clusterfucks of blinkered projection and straight up wackadoo, it's more than just an obtuse lack of understanding of what impression management really is, that everyone does it to some degree, and why/when/how someone with a life like Dean's would particularly rely on it.  It's an uncomfortable combination of tumblr-flavored eww, white heterosexual cis dude cooties and accidentally proving they'd struggle to pick genuine toxic masculinity out of a lineup. Canon!Dean is a character who often defies toxic stereotypes of what a heterosexual man is allowed to be by being a realistic mixture of attributes - good, bad, and neutral as well as traditionally and not traditionally masculine.  FanonBi!Dean? According to the “meta”, every bit of Dean that's good, vulnerable, or willing to bend is proof every bit of him that's macho or unpleasant is automatically a lie artificially manufactured to cover for his inner bisexual.  Actually heterosexual dudes can't be vulnerable or concerned about appearing “sufficiently” masculine and non-hetero dudes that have come out are automagically over being macho, performatively or otherwise – they're soft, smol, and totes shippable!  Something something toxic masculinity is bad, yo! 

Obviously fanfic is something entirely separate and I don't really care about people’s individual headcanons, even if I find them baffling.  Pretending it’s realistically plausible canonically or that it doesn’t most often originate from people who fundamentally don’t like the complicated character Dean actually is and want to make him “better” by turning him into a not-so-incidentally more shippable faux progressive cliché fanfic caricature?  Nopity nope nope.