#walker guy

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Light-blue Shy Guy

Debut: Mario Kart DS

I love light blue, and I love Shy Guys! But I don't think I can talk all that much about just a light blue Shy Guy, or at least, it wouldn't be very interesting. Computer, let's get more specific!

Name: Walker Guy

Debut: Mario & Luigi: Dream Team

Now this is more like it! On his own, simply a light blue Shy Guy, but this one has a specific job that gives him a lot of character! This is cool. I wonder if we could get even MORE specific!

Name: Shysaac Guysfield

Occupation: Part-Time Dog Walker

Employer: Koopa Troop

Address: 19-87 Shell Street, Toad Harbor

Social Security Number:

AAAHHHH stop specifying stop specifying! I am so incredibly sorry to this poor Shy Guy I just accidentally doxxed in this live post performance. Please forget you saw that. Let's just go back to Walker Guy!

Have you ever wondered about Chain Chomps in terms of being Bowser's minions? They're not exactly sapient like most of the commonly antagonistic species. They're just dogs! I'm going to assume that like real big dogs, they just don't realize their own strength, and that's where the danger comes from. The danger is amplified when the dog is enormous, metal, and mostly mouth.

Looking at Walker Guy, I think we can safely say that Chain Chomps under Bowser's command are well taken care of! A whole specialized troop of Shy Guys exists to take them on walks, and ensure they are as happy and healthy as can be! These Shy Guys are all light blue, so maybe that is the Walker Guy Uniform. Maybe EVERY Shy Guy who wears light blue is primarily a Walker Guy, and you just often see them assigned to other, temporary jobs, or just out leisurely! There is no evidence to suggest the Light-Blue Shy Guy in Mario Kart is not a Walker Guy. Awesome! RPG characters playable in Mario Kart! This is what everyone has been wanting, right?

It seems that normally, Walker Guys will actually just let their assigned Chomps roam around freely, as they just sit on top, along for the ride. Hey! Keep your dog leashed at all times for the safety of it and those around it! I assume, though, that a Chain Chomp would not normally allow anyone to ride on top of it, and that this is a sign of immense trust between walker and Chomp. That's nice.

Walker Guys DO at least grab on to the leash when a battle begins. But that's dangerous, too! You should not bring your dog into a Turn-Based Battle! What, are you going to give your dog action commands? Gonna tell it to Sit and Give Me Your Paw?

It is really the Chomp who takes initiative in battle, and poor Walker Guy is dragged and flung around in all sorts of wacky ways. He takes no damage from these shenanigans, so we can all have a good laugh about it! Ha ha hee! What is less funny is that the Chain Chomp can be defeated individually, prompting the Walker Guy to frantically search for another one. What a horrible situation! You just killed his dog, and now, with no time to mourn, he has to immediately hope he can find another one so he doesn't lose his job. He is under so much stress! He also needs to pay off his mortgage! Toad Harbor isn't cheap!

So, if there are Shy Guys available to take Chain Chomps for walks, why are they so often seen bound to blocks and posts? There is a very simply explanation for that. Their respective Walker Guy just had to go to the bathroom! Every time you see a Chain Chomp tied to something, there is no need to assume it is being neglected. There is a light blue Shy Guy doing his business in the nearest restroom, and he will be back shortly! I promise. Don't wait for him, it makes him self-conscious and he'll take longer.

[mydairpercabeth]

cousin bonding 🥰

[moncuries]

the moon will sing a song for me i loved you like the sun!

[caliburn-the-sword]

"hur hur gabe wasn't as abusive as he was in the books" people can all shut up. percy's jaw TREMBLED when ares yelled at him, which had nothing at all to do with his god status - percy backtalks gods just fine. he had trauma response to ares yelling. ares didn't so much as lift a finger. that goes to speak volumes about what percy was experiencing at home

[anthonysperkins]

Clint Walker as Jim Cole The Night of the Grizzly (1966) dir. Joseph Pevney

[percabethownsmybutt]

annabeth, screaming at percy mid battle: haec est culpa tua!

percy, sighing: yeah i know

grover: when did you learn latin?

percy: i didn't. i just know the phrase "this is all your fault" in every language annabeth speaks

[crapflaps2]

can you tell neil's my favorite

[torpublishinggroup]

Though it might be tempting, don’t venture into hedge mazes…no matter what

Be mindful of triggering the wrath of revenge ghosts lest you become a ghost yourself

Beware the dangers of underestimating “docile girls”—it could be a killer mistake

Summoning an ancient evil demon is NEVER a good idea. Seriously. 

Trying to steal someone’s home might cost you your soul. It’s never worth it. 

Understand that haunted houses have feelings too—the problem is sometimes they’re evil.

Tips provided by Terry J. Benton-Walker, editor and contributor of The White Guy Dies First: 13 Scary Stories of Fear and Power.

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

Killer clowns, a hungry hedge maze, and rich kids who got bored. Friendly cannibals, impossible slashers, and the dead who don’t stay dead....

A museum curator who despises “diasporic inaccuracies.” A sweet girl and her diary of happy thoughts. An old house that just wants friends forever....

These stories are filled with ancient terrors and modern villains, but go ahead, go into the basement, step onto the old plantation, and open the magician’s mystery box because this time, the white guy dies first.

Edited by Terry J. Benton-Walker, including stories from bestselling, award-winning, and up-and-coming contributors: Adiba Jaigirdar, Alexis Henderson, Chloe Gong, Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, H. E. Edgmon, Kalynn Bayron, Karen Strong, Kendare Blake, Lamar Giles, Mark Oshiro, Naseem Jamnia, Tiffany D. Jackson, and Terry J. Benton-Walker.

A collection you’ll be dying to talk about…if you survive it.

[hawstar]

“average person has 3 snakes in them” factoid actually just a statistical error. average person has zero snakes in them. Snakes Tony-

[ninyard]

the big olympics reunion (pt.1)

[thaliasthunder]

yep, that's my percy jackson

[wyrmswears]

??lego ninjas

[mydairpercabeth]

biblically accurate percy jackson

[imekitty]

I can't believe I never noticed that Walker is a Guys in White operative...

[teshiee]

hi yes it's Agent Walker and Agent Smith yet again..!! continuation to this post. i cant come up with anything new LOL

Aaand before i make myself think i mischaracterised my fav characters again, i'll point out that Agent Smith doesn't really do Agent Walker's paperwork all by himself. He actually gives most of it to his department's employees. Why is he like this.

...another thing i forgot to point out in the last post prequeling this one, Agent Walker's videogames got confiscated and won't be returned until he finishes his current paperwork!! (They found out he was making his employees do his paperwork. like Agent Smith over here...)

+ the last image text says, *(Agent Walker) doesn't notice the slight reduction in paperwork nor the fact that it's TIDIED because he's too woozy

[atticusfinchismydog]

The list of fears Neil SHOULD have:

-Riko

-the mafia

-torture

-his hitman father

-Lola

-abuse

-murder

List of fears Neil DOES have:

-A 23 year old blonde Christian with rainbow ends

-telephones