#viva la bam imagines

[so-much-for-stardust6]

Needed A Release- Johnny Knoxville

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summary: you do a “stunt” involving a sex toy which is controlled by johnny. at the end of the day, you need a release.

lowercase intended

warnings: smut, dirty talk (?) & not proof read

a/n: this feels a bit rough but enjoy 🤒

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“there is no fucking way.”

“oh come on, y/n, please!” jeff begged, holding the device in his hand.

“no! i’m not gonna shove a fucking vibrator up my pussy for a stupid show!”

“you do that every night, why is this different?” bam joked.

i turned to him and punched his arm, causing him to yelp out and grab it.

“i’ll pay you fifty bucks.” johnny said.

“dude what?” ryan laughs at johnny’s eagerness.

“what? this’ll be good for the show!” he defended himself.

i sigh as i think over his words, stomach turning as i lean towards yes.

“okay you know what, fine. i’ll do it for fifty.” i shook my head.

the guys cheered at my response, jeff handing me the vibrator.

“we’re doing it tomorrow.” he gave me a sly smile.

“great.” i mumble.

~fast forward to tomorrow~

i walk inside the place, being greeted by a smirking bam.

“hey, y/n/n, how you feeling?” johnny asked, laughing his dumb laugh.

“fuck off, knoxville.” i mumble, heading towards the snacks.

“good afternoon, y/n! you all ready?” jeff says very cheerily.

“ready? i just got here.”

“we’re about to start soon.”

i sigh at his words and go to the bathroom. i kept telling myself that i’m doing it for the money and money only. i take off my pants, getting into a position to easily put the vibrator inside. i softy moan at the feeling, butterflies in my stomach. i shake it off and stood back up, fixing myself up and leaving the bathroom. i ran into johnny and bam who were standing right near the door.

“jesus christ, you guys are pervs.” i scoff.

“you excited?” bam says, emphasizing ‘excited’.

i ignore him and eat my chips before we had to leave.

~fast forward to the van~

“okay, so y/n you’re gonna go inside and ask questions and randomly here and there you’ll feel it turn on.” jeff explains.

“just any questions?”

“questions relating to the product, yeah.”

“and who’s having the remote?”

“we can’t tell you.”

“why?”

“for their protection.” he laughs.

i fake laugh back as i climb out the van, walking up to the store. it’s a beautiful flower store, the fragrance inside was just heavenly.

“hello there! how can i help you today?” the lady at the counter greets me.

“hello! i’m just looking for some flowers for my husband, he loves flowers and it’s our anniversary.”

“oh how sweet, we usually have the husbands buying flowers for the wives! what flowers does he like?”

“hmmm, he loves-“ i cut myself off with a quiet yelp, the vibrator turning off.

“are you okay, ma’am?”

“yes! yes i’m sorry i just accidentally hit my knee.” i lie, gripping the counter as it continues.

“well, we have these beautiful roses. simple yet very romantic.”

i lean into the flowers and smell them, smiling at how good it is. suddenly the vibrator turned on again, making me groan out loud. i quickly cover it up by groaning again, pulling away with a weak smile.

“sorry i just absolutely love roses! they’re my favorite.” i nervously chuckle.

“no worries hun, i love roses too!” she sweetly laughs.

i feel the vibration level go up one, my face contorting with pleasure. luckily the woman was leading me to another set of flowers, looking away. i had a mic and mini camera on me so i grabbed the mic and brought it up to my lips.

“you guys are bastards.”

“i’m sorry?” the woman asked.

“oh i said do you guys sell baskets?”

“like flower baskets?”

“just regular ones, i noticed i saw some on the display in the window.”

“oh yes, what a great eye! we do sell baskets, they’re $7.”

“sounds great! i’ll take one, my husband and i were planning on having a picnic date.” i ball my hand into a fist, trying so hard to not moan.

“of course, daring! let me go get one in the back.”

i watch her as she leaves behind a door. i let out a low moan once i feel like she’s too far. i whimper and throw my head down, squeezing my eyes shut.

“you okay in there?” i hear johnny laugh in my ear.

“fuck off.” i mutter.

i hear the door open again and i whip my head up, putting on a normal demeanor.

“here you go, honey. did you figure out what flowers you’d want?”

“i think i’ll go with those beautiful roses, they smell wonderful.”

the vibrator has been on this entire time, slightly increasing in power each minute. i took a deep breath to relax myself, tears pricking my eyes at the immense pleasure.

“anything else darling?”

“nope, that’s all i need.” i smile softly.

i actually buy the items, loving roses myself. i gave her the cash, hands shaking as i do so.

“you sure you’re alright honey?”

“yes, i’m just cold.”

“it’s summer.”

“yeah, my body heat is very weird.” i laugh awkwardly.

she chuckled back, handing me my change.

“thank you so much, hope you have a wonderful day hun.” the woman smiled.

“of course! you too-“ i cut myself off with a whine as the max setting was on.

my knees buckled at the feeling as my eyes slightly roll into the back of my head.

“i’m sorry, i feel very ill. have a good day.” i quickly say before rushing out the door.

i was panting while resting my hands on my knees, trying so hard not to moan. i hear the guys laughing in my ears as i struggle.

“look at you, getting off by a vibrator in public.” johnny whispers into the mic.

hearing those words leave his mouth made me lose it, cumming on the spot. i slap a hand over my mouth as i moan, falling to my knees. the guys hollered at the sight of me, faces probably changing red at how hard they’re laughing. i felt so embarrassed, ready to go home. i shakily stand up, the vibrator still on.

“someone go help her.” jeff said, still laughing.

johnny climbs out of the van, face red from laughing. i look at him with a glare, so angry he said those words.

“you look like a mess, y/n. you still feeling “unwell”?” he laughs his obnoxious laugh.

he put his hand out and i refuse to take it, reaching for the remote instead. i turn the device off and shove the remote in my pocket.

“you fucking had it the whole time?!” i raised my voice.

“yup.” he giggled.

i sighed angrily and walked off, knees still weak. i open the van door to see all the guys still laughing, making me even more pissed off.

“any bees in there? i heard a lot of buzzing.” bam joked.

i punched his arm and climbed into the back.

“can we please go? i want to get this thing out of me.” i mumble.

~fast forward~

i rush inside the bathroom, pulling my pants off and taking this fucking thing out. i throw it into the sink, grabbing some toilet paper to clean me up. i hear someone knock on the door, i yell for them to come in. i was presentable but my knees were still shaky.

“how’s it going in here?” johnny asks, peeking his head in.

“man fuck you.” i spat.

“what? what did i do.”

“you fucking had it on the whole time! and y-you said that shit!”

“what shit?” he smirked.

“you know exactly what i’m talking about..”

“what are you gonna do about it?”

i huff and stomp over to the door, locking it. johnny watches my every move, eyes dilated. i grab my shirt and swiftly take it off, throwing it on the hook for bags. i then walk over to him and harshly connect our lips, slipping my tongue into his mouth for dominance. he moaned into my mouth, strong hands holding my hips. he grabs one of my legs, wrapping it around his slutty waist. i grind against him, becoming wet again. i grab onto his hair, pulling his head back to kiss his neck.

“you’ve been flirting with me ever since i joined the crew. and of fucking course you take control of the remote. you wished it was you inside me, huh. you fucking pervert.” i spat into his ear.

i felt him get hard into me, smirking against his ear.

“look who’s getting off with dirty words?” i laugh.

“i fucking hate you.” he mutters.

“highly doubt that.”

he turns me around and shoves me onto the sink.

“you’re gonna watch yourself as i fuck you. got it?”

“yes..” i moan out.

he didn’t waste time to pull my pants down, my underwear wet. his hands ran across my ass, squeezing it. the vibrator in the sink caught his eye, immediately grabbing it without thinking twice. i look at him through the mirror as he turns it on, lowering it back to where it was. it vibrated against me, a loud sigh leaving my lips. i dropped my head down and moaned but his free hands grabbed ahold of my hair and pulled me back up. he was focused on what he was doing, rubbing the vibrator up and down my folds. i wiggle my ass to try and get my friction, causing him to laugh at my neediness.

“you’ve been secretly wanting me, huh. all those fake ass shut downs, all those lies so i wouldn’t get into your pants. but you want me so bad, i bet you dream of me of me fucking you so hard…don’t you…”

“fuck…” i cry out.

he muttered something before shutting off the toy and throwing it back into the sink. i heard his undo his belt and shove down his pants. i couldn’t see him from the angle was at behind me, but i bet he was big.

“jeff’s gonna be lookin’ for me.”

“so go fast then.”

he chuckled at my words before slamming into me. i let out a loud moan, feeling him fill me up. he stretched me out perfect, fitting like a puzzle. i was still slightly sensitive from earlier so my senses were at an all time high. tears pricked my eyes already, my knees trembled at his pace and my knuckles turned white from my grip. he held on hand on my waist as he fucked me while the other held my hair, pulling my head back to watch him fuck me. his head was thrown back, brown hair sticking to his slightly sweaty forehead.

“look at you…so fucked out from this.” i dryly laughed, trying to talk as he thrusted.

he opened his eyes and looked at me, lust blown pupils.

“i bet you fucking planned this. you told jeff all about this prank.”

“don’t fucking act like you weren’t thinking of me while that shit was on. wishing it was my cock inside of you, like right now.”

we talked out of breath, stuttering our words.

“i needed a release. asshole. you made me cum.” i moan out.

“at my words. remember?” he laughed in a teasingly manner.

“fuck you.” i spat out.

i was too focused on johnny’s words and face, not noticing how quick my orgasm was coming. johnny noticed though, noticed how my body moved and wriggled under his touch. he smirked as he saw my face contort with pleasure. i let out a long string of moans as i came around him, shoving myself against the sink. he waited until i was done before pulling out, not caring about his own release. i collapsed against my sink, using a lot of my upper body strength to hold me up. i felt johnny’s fingers run up my slit and collect my juices, sticking them into his mouth to taste me.

“so good.” he mumbled.

i roll my eyes at his action, pushing myself off the sink. i pulled up my pants and buttoned them back up. i smoothed my hair out and fixed up my face. johnny watched me as i did so, genuinely smiling.

“stop staring, weirdo.”

“maybe i’ll take a pic, it would last longer.”

“back to flirting, knoxville? you were just inside of me like 3 minutes ago.” i laugh, turning around.

“maybe i can be inside you more often.” he slyly said, pulling me close to him from the waist.

“buy me dinner first.”

“tomorrow at 8?”

i was taken aback from his words, surprised he actually asked.

“seriously?”

“dead. i haven’t been flirting all this time for nothing.” he laughs.

“okay then, tomorrow at 8.” i smile.

“perfect. now i gotta go.” he quickly leaned down and left a kiss on my lips.

i know we already kissed before this but it felt like the first time. i blushed harshly as he left the bathroom, surprisingly not to a bunch of idiots standing outside listening.

[missusdunn]

Bam Margera X f!reader X Ryan Dunn pt.1

Warnings!! - Smut, Oral f!giving, cussing, 18++++

Dating Bam Margera threw you into a lot of spontaneous adventures. The parties, impulsive trips across the world, dangerous stunts. It became normal to expect the unexpected. The only predictable thing about Bam was his selfishness especially when it came to you. You are his and his only. You couldn’t even have a friendly conversation with another man without Bam going into a bitch fit. However, there is one exception. Ryan Dunn. They’re a two-in-one deal. You can’t get close to one without the other. And Bam trusts Ryan so no reason for jealousy. Just a trio of pals.

One night, Ryan invites the two of you to his apartment to drink and hang out. Anticlimactic but fun nonetheless. You and Bam head over there with a bottle of vodka and let yourselves in. “Oh hey, you two! Thanks for knocking, so considerate!” Ryan greeted. Bam chuckles and says “Don’t act like you don’t walk into my house like that, asswipe.” “Whatever,” Ryan grabs the vodka from Bam “this’ll make up for it.” I roll my eyes, kick off my shoes, and make my way to the couch. Bam follows suit and Ryan goes to the kitchen to get cups. Bam stretches and melts into his seat. “Finally a night to relax with my two favorite people.” He smiles and puts his arm over my shoulder. I playfully roll my eyes “Don’t be sappy just to get into my pants later.” He sarcastically puts his hands up “Sorry, sorry.” He smirks. “I have better tactics anyway.” He cups my face with his right hand and leans in for a kiss. Of course, I kiss back and it doesn’t take long until his tongue is in my mouth. After a few more seconds Ryan is back. “Excuse me but I’d appreciate it if you two didn’t fuck on my couch!” He says playfully. “We’re not fucking, Dunn,” Bam grumbles with a slight pout having cut the make-out short. “Yet. Thank god I stopped it just in time.” Ryan says placing cups on the coffee table. I laugh and pick up my glass to fill with liquor. Ryan stops me from picking up the bottle and pours it for me. “Oh, such a gentleman,” I say sarcastically while taking a sip. “Anything for you, darling.” He playfully winks filling up the other two glasses. “You fuckers know I’m right here right?” Bam rolls his eyes as Ryan and I laugh. Bam grabs the remote and tosses it to Ryan. “Put some shit on, Dunn let’s get fucked up.” As he chugs his first round.

A couple hours later we’re all buzzed. It didn’t take long for the TV to become background noise. After multiple conversations filled with slurs and giggles the topic of Ryan’s love life came up.

“You really haven’t been getting any lately?” Bam laughs. “Dude it’s not a big deal!” Ryan defends himself. “I’ve just been busy!” Bam continues to laugh “Yeah you’re so busy binge drinking on your couch!” Ryan’s brows furrow “fuck you.” I hit Bam on the shoulder and give Ryan a sympathetic look. “Ry, there’s no shame in not having sex! Not everyone can be sexually active twenty-four seven.” I say “Unlike some whores…” I motion to Bam. Ryan lets out a chuckle and Bam rolls his eyes. “If I’m a whore that would make you one too, idiot,” Bam argues. “Oh babe you and I both know that’s not how it works,” I sigh “Your body count is 10x times mine!” “Whatever since you’re fucking me you’re a whore by association.” He snickers. “You’re such an idiot.” I sip my drink. Bam smirks and leans in. “Your idiot.” Kissing me and turning it into a full-on make-out session in less than ten seconds. That’s gotta be a record.

Ryan groans. “Again please do that anywhere else.” Bam pulls away and looks at his friend. “Yknow what just fucking join, Dunn.” Ryan’s eyes go wide and I’m too shocked to say anything. “What?” Ryan asks, thinking it’s a joke. “It’ll help with your blue balls that make you so pissy,” bam smirks “and I know how long you’ve wanted to fuck y/n.” Ryan keeps his eyes on Bam with red coating his cheeks. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Bam chuckles “Yes you do!” He points out “Before we started dating you, I would talk about all the things we’d do to her!” Now I’m the one with cherry-red cheeks. “Come on, Dunn you down or not?” Bam looks at me as if he’s asking with his eyes. “I’m down if Ryan’s down…” I stumbled out. Bam looks back at Ryan “Alright, let’s do it then.” Ryan agrees. Bam smirks in satisfaction and motions Ryan to sit next to me. Now I'm in the middle. Bam goes for my neck kissing and sucking. While I’m left looking into his friend’s eyes. Ryan hesitated a little bit but then kissed me like it was the end of the world. My throat vibrated with moans and Bam’s hands made their way to my chest. Groping me through my top before pulling it over my chest to expose my tits. I gasped into Ryan’s mouth from the sudden movements. Ryan pulls back to look at my breasts, groaning at the sight. He pushes Bam’s hands away and replaces them with his own. Bam immediately starts to kiss me sloppily. As Ryan has begun sucking on my tits making sure both nipples get the same amount of attention. My moans gradually increase the hotter it gets. I push both the boys away from me. They give me a confused and concerned look. Before they could say anything I got down on my knees in front of them. Their eyes widened in realization before slightly scooting closer together so they weren't too far apart. I began to palm them through their jeans, both of them already hard. “I need you both now,” I whine. Immediately the two start fumbling with their belts whipping their dicks out.

I spit onto both of my hands and begin to jerk my boyfriend and his best friend off. Bam’s groaning and Ryan has his eyes closed letting out breathy moans. I wrap my mouth around Bam’s dick and begin to deep throat him. Trying to get his cock covered in as much saliva as possible. As my left hand continues to stroke Ryan’s Bam grabs my hair and pushes me down on his length a bit more. Groaning when he reaches the back of my throat. I push back off his lap and replace my mouth with my hand. I shift my attention to Ryan and I start to suck the tip of his cock, swirling my tongue around it. And jerking off his shaft twisting up and down. Ryan’s heavily breathing with his eyes locked on mine. I continue to switch between the two men with my mouth, whilst jerking the other one off. Bam’s moans get louder letting me know that he's close. I have a hand on each of the men's shafts. I begin to firmly stroke Bam, twisting up and down. My tongue hovers over his tip waiting for his cum. With a final groan, Bam shoots his load onto my face. From the lewd image of my face covered in cum Ryan finishes in my hand. “Shit.” Ryan curses. I move my face towards my cum-covered hand and clean it up with my tongue. Both boys catch their breaths before sharing a chuckle. “I can’t believe we just fucking did that.” Ryan laughs. “I remove my hands from them, cleaning myself up with a nearby throw blanket. “Consider it an early Christmas present.” Bam continues. “You may wanna wash this…” I smirk, tossing the soiled blanket at Ryan. The two laugh as I get up to go to the bathroom. Until Bam interrupts my movements “Hey, where are you going? It’s your turn.”

[1800miserablethot]

More head cannons of mine that nobody asked for

Nicknames for the Jackass Crew

Bam Margera

He's a damn sub so we can just guess the nicknames he likes

Pretty Boy, Baby Boy, Baby, Good Boy, Sweetheart, darling, Bambi (though he won't admit to liking it), Bam Bam, etc

Now he would be into degradation so nicknames like bitch, slut, whore, etc would get him going too only if you said it in a way that claimed him as it. Like “You're my little ___”

Ryan Dunn

He gives major golden retriever vibes, and also switch vibes.

He would like the regular ones, yk baby, babe, honey, etc

I feel like he would secretly melt if you called him a good boy.

Johnny Knoxville

He's a top 100%

But the nicknames he likes are Baby, Babe, and simple stuff because usually, it's him calling you nicknames like darling, sweetheart, babydoll, etc.

I’ll bet everything that he likes being called daddy

Steveo

He's basic, I really can't see him kinky.

He likes being called babe, baby, and that's probably about it lol I feel like he's not into the mushy stuff and not because he's a jerk or “I'm too cool for it” its just not y’alls thing.

Chris Pontius

He's a sweetheart so he's your sweetheart, he likes being called baby, sweetheart, or honey (and due to him being a party boy you tease him and call him honey bunny and he lives for it), you also joke and call him your little devil because of him dressing up as the devil and pissing off Christians.

I don't see him having a top bone in his body at all, but he isn't a sub sub like Bam is, he's right in the middle but not a switch yk? So he's gonna like nicknames like pretty boy, good boy, etc simple stuff.

[johnny-coxville]

How about a really cute johnny and female reader (she's johnnys girlfriend but she doesn't do any of the stunts) fic where they're playing with the Super Mighty Glue for the third film and one of the other guys sticks the reader and Johnny together and he's really cute with it and finds it hilarious?

Figured I might as well mix the two aspects of the asks ;P

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Johnny x fem!reader fluff

♡

Too Close!

The glue that rested inside the wooden drawer was saved for a rainy day. That day. Was today. Johnny opened the blinds in the bedroom, squinting at the bright sunlight. The rain beat down on the window, giving cool air through the cracks.

He turned his head to you, where you slept softly. He made his way back over to the bed and sat down. Scratching your head, and brushing the hair out of your face. You slowly woke up, greeted by a soft kiss from Johnny. You smiled and kissed his lips. Laying your head back down on the pillow. You stretched your arms and yawned.

“Time to get up sweetheart, heading to Bam’s. It’s raining so you’re being dragged along to watch a stunt. I swear it’s harmless.” He said rubbing your shoulder. You sighed. “Alright. But if you get hurt I’m not driving you to the hospital this time.” You muttered. Of course, this was a bluff you always got so scared when he’d do such a dangerous stunt.

You two got up and dressed. Johnny slipped into his blue and white long-sleeve. Looping the belt through his black jeans. Tying his signature skull and crutches Converse. You took one of his flannels, sporting a black t-shirt underneath. Leaving it unbuttoned. You never bothered putting on a raincoat.

Finishing with your shoes, he slipped his jacket on. Grabbing the hotel keycard and sliding it into his jacket pocket. Passing you the car keys, you both headed into the heavy rain. Driving through PA wasn’t your favorite thing, but at least it wasn’t California traffic.

Johnny chatted the entire way there. Finally pulling into Bam’s driveway, multiple cars had already been pulled up. You were honestly nervous. You really weren’t interested in whatever house-destroying antics they were going to get up to.

Johnny reassured you, their plans wouldn’t be putting themselves in danger. You simply rolled your eyes and got prepared to run through the rain. Entering Bam’s parents, you shook yourself dry. Being greeted by April as usual.

She led you to the kitchen where the entire gang sat. You knew this would be trouble. All sitting at the table, like rowdy little children. They greeted you and Johnny. Sat on the table were a few containers of super glue. You looked at it unsure, looking over to Johnny.

Kosick stood leaning against the kitchen counter, camera mounted on his arm. Along with a few of the other film crew, just relaxing, waiting for the action to start. You were giving quite an unsure look. What were they going to do? Glue their lips to each other's assholes? See how far they could run with glue stuck to their feet? It had to have been something extremely outlandish.

¨Don’t look too excited for this Cons.” Dave giggled. You smiled. He always called you Cons because he could never remember your actual name. Converse were the only shoes you and Johnny ever wore, so the name stuck. “Not really. I mean. It’s probably a lot better than most of the things you’ve done.” You said pulling a chair at the table.

Bam took the initiative and stood at the foot of the table. “I say Johnny and Cons do something together! She’s never in our stunts. There’s no way we could hurt her with some super glue.” Bam said pointing at you. April facepalmed. She loved you dearly, and always talked you out of a stunt, no matter how small and stupid it was.

You nodded your head. “What are your plans.” You said caving. What’s the worse that could happen? “Alright, so you’re going to want to take your shirt o-” Before Bam could even finish Johnny cut him off with a flat no. Tremaine in the corner gave a suggestion. “Wee-man and Preston first. Just to see how it works out.” He said pointing to the two guys who uncomfortably shuffled. Sighing Preston got out of his seat.

Wee-man follows behind and stands with his arms folded. Never really fond of actually having to do a stunt. “Shirt off. Both of you” Tremaine said stepping closer with his smaller camera equipment. “Fucking seriously?” Preston scoffed.

He discarded his shirt, annoyed, and stood waiting for the next move. Wee-man reluctantly removed his shirt and stood face-palming. “Wait wait wait, I wanna do the glue!” You shouted. Tremaine shrugged his shoulders. “Works with me.” He said giving the go for filming. Everyone began to shuffle into place. Getting out of their chairs. The camera began to roll.

“Hello, I’m Johnny Knoxville! And this isss Super Mighty Glue!” He said reading the name off the glue bottle. You stood with an excited smile. “Here we have two very willing and lovely participants.” He said presenting Preston and Wee-man, with incredibly annoyed faces. You snickered taking over the bit.

“Alright, Preston you’re on the bottom, and wee-man you’re on top.” You said helping Preston slide onto the counter. The guys were already hysterical. Once Preston was on the table, you lathered his stomach full of glue. It smelled awful but surely felt even more often to feel on the skin. Wee-man was assisted onto the table, Bam shoving him backward while he was trying to balance.

“Bam!” April screamed, hitting him in the shoulder. Wee-man’s ass now glued to Preston's stomach. “Hold on! Hold on! I got this.” Johnny said pulling out a stun gun. Before he could even take a few steps Wee-man started to scream and fight, painfully ripping himself off of Preston's stomach. Preston screamed in pain pushing himself off the table. Both men jumping around and screaming.

“Someone fucking lather up Knoxville. This shit hurts!” Wee-man screamed out. Johnny wanting to prove some kind of point, maybe that he was tough, laid on the table, pulling his shirt off. “Lather me up, baby!” He said rubbing his hands together.

You squeezed two different bottles of glue onto his chest, cringing at the glue glopping and running down him. You crossed around the counter cautiously not to be stuck to Johnny in some stupid way. Just as you were ready to put the glue down, Dunn hauled you up by your shirt. You couldn’t fight his grip, being picked up like some kind of toddler by their onesie. He pressed you directly against Johnny’s bare sticky body. Johnny found this hysterical, you definitely did not.

“No fucking way! Get me off of him!” You shout. Everyone laughing except April. Johnny was nearly in tears by this point laughing, carefully trying to slide off the table. Every time you tried to pull yourself off of him, he’d squeal in pain. Your t-shirt was basically infused into his skin. Your flannel awkwardly stuck to the sides of his body where glue had seeped down.

Aww’s and laughter were spread throughout the room. You rested an angry face on his shoulder as he held you against his chest. “She’s reaallyyy stuck to me, man!” Johnny said showing you off to the camera. Flopping his body around trying to detach you. “Definitely going to have to cut her off of me..” Johnny said scratching his head. Glue stuck to his fingers getting caught up in his hair.

Looking into the camera he cringed. Ripping his fingers out of his hair, he pulled hair straight from his scalp. “Yep. I’m done! Can someone just. Set my shirt on top of her hand so she can change..” Knoxville asked.

April let out a heavy sigh. “I’ve got it.” She said leaving the kitchen. Coming back with one of her t-shirts for you to wear. You kept trying to kick at his knees, nearly having Johnny buckle over a few times. Giggling each time you made a poor attempt. “I’m going to glue your beard to someone’s pubes Dunn. I fucking swear on it.” You said as April wrapped the shirt around your neck for you to use shortly.

He giggled in the corner shaking his head. Johnny carried you around the house, holding you close. You felt like a baby strapped to his dad’s chest. Once you were nearly in the bathroom you could hear the other guys hollering. Assuming one of them had continued the bit.

He closed the bathroom door and shuffled himself to the counter to grab the scissors. You let out a heavy sigh. He giggled to himself, making eye contact from time to time. “I swear I could kill him PJ” You said pulling yourself slightly back to let him cut through the fabric. Thankfully these weren’t “good clothes”. You’d be fuming.

Once he had gotten the shirt undone, he just tore the flannel off. You finally were let go, sitting on the bathroom counter. You stared at his now extremely patchy chest, covered almost entirely in your shirt. You shrugged, sliding your new shirt on.

“Pugs! Not Drugs!” Johnny read your shirt. “That’s fucking great.” He sighed trying to relax his laughter. April always provided the best shirts. Another one to the collection. Once you had managed to clean the shirt pieces off Johnny, you both walked out to the kitchen. Dunn’s beard glued completely to the side of Bam’s face.

Idiots.

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[jackasswhre]

Dating Bam Margera headcanons :)

let me just start this off by saying bam's the most loyal man to exist alright

like ain't no way that he's ever cheating on you

also a hill that i will die on is that you're the passenger princess

literally no matter what

late night drives with him blasting music

spoils you on your birthday, valentines day, christmas ect

he's totally the "i don't want to go to bed fighting type"

carving pumpkins as a date during halloween

speaking of halloween i feel like he would love scaring kids that are out trick or treating

never goes overboard with pranking you (and will get a bit pissed off if any of the other guys do)

extra cuddly if he's drunk

doesn't notice it and will 100% deny it but he squeezes your hand a bit tighter when he's nervous

loves seeing you in his clothes

covers the corners of tables if you're bending underneath them so you don't get hurt

can and will bodyslam you into anything soft whenever he feels like it

puts his hand in the back pocket of your jeans

if you ask nicely he'll turn his loud ass music down

disinfecting his brand (and any of his other wounds/cuts) because you know he won't do it himself

taking care of him when he's sick (and him being a pouty whiny bitch most of the time)

he gets jealous really easily

if needed he gets into bar fights for you (even if he's usually drunk himself)

if you're in jackass too (im guessing you are 'cause come on who wouldn't want to be) he writes crazy ass stunts for you

always makes sure that you don't get hurt during them tho

and if you ever did get hurt while doing a stunt he would be by your side the second it happens

if you don't know how to skate he 100% teaches you

and if you already know then he literally skates with you every chance he gets

you're definitely in viva la bam and also in most radio bam episodes

if you want to he will let you do his nails and makeup

definitely loves cuddling

ryan, dico, raab and rake are your bestfriends

they just come with bam (kinda like a buy one, get one free except its buy one, get four free (idfk lmao))

bro would literally melt if you baked him something

if you're ever wearing a short/tight skirt he stands behind you

rarely takes you out for expensive dates, it's usually just mcdonalds or something similar

this man loves you with his whole heart so please don't hurt him

[jackassbrainrot]

Bam x m!reader

Tired whiny bam

kiss it better [bam x m!reader]

desc: bam comes home after a stressful day and wants you to take care of him

a/n: male reader my beloved and so rarely written <33 and whiny bam <333 reader is bigger than bam if that's something important to mention here idk. I think I'm going to make a smutty part 2 for this whoopsie

warnings: none, it's just fluffy and cute

word count: 462

The front door slams and the familiar sound of a skateboard hitting the floor reaches your ears, signaling to you that your boyfriend is finally home, and not in a good mood. Looking up, you see him drag his feet across the floor, gaze downcast, shoulder slumped. His hair is covering his eyes, sticking to his forehead from sweat. You adjust your position on the couch, spreading your legs a bit and opening your arms, wordlessly inviting him to sit in your lap. His body goes limp when he sits between your legs, curling up to you chest. his head buried in the crook of your neck.

"Long day?" You ask, running your hand through his messy hair while your other hand rests on his thigh. He doesn't give a verbal response, only whining like a wounded dog and nuzzling his face further into your neck, the hand on your chest gripping your shirt tighter. "Wanna talk about it?" You feel him shake his head, his hair tickling you. "You gonna talk at all?" Your tone is teasing but soft, trying to coax him out of his slump.

"No." He mumbles into your neck, making you smile.

"That's talking, Bam."

"That doesn't count!" He whines, pulling a laugh out of you.

"That's just more talking."

"Shut up." There's no real malice in his voice but he pushes at your chest weakly, trying to get up. You wrap your hands around him, pulling him back down onto your lap. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Away from you 'cause you're being a dick." He pouts, still trying to wiggle out of your grasp. Even though he's a professional athlete, you have a size advantage over him, making it hard for him to escape you, though he's not even putting much effort into it anyway.

"I'm not letting you up until you feel better, Bambi." He melts into you again, and you ignore the mumbled "asshole" that slipped from his lips as he rested his head on your shoulder. You comb your fingers through his hair as you other hand finds its way under his shirt, tracing his side tattoo gently.

"Y/n?" His voice was muffled by your shirt and you respond with a hum, letting him continue. "You haven't given me a kiss yet." You can hear the pout in his voice and you chuckle, before tilting his head up by lightly pulling his hair and pulling him into a gentle kiss. Before you're able to pull away fully, he grabs your face, keeping you in place.

" 'm not done." He could make you do anything as long as it was said in that desperate, whiny tone, and you tell him as much before he pulls you down to kiss him again.

[lexaknoxville]

party lover boy - Chris Pontius

“𝘄𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗺𝗲, 𝘆𝗼, 𝗶𝘁’𝘀 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗳𝗿𝗲𝗲” - 𝗜 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗱𝗶𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂, 𝗥𝗲𝗱 𝗛𝗼𝘁 𝗖𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗶 𝗣𝗲𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀

pairing(s) | Chris Pontius x reader

summary | just some headcanons of being Party Boys gf 😚

warnings | kissing, blood, the usual jackass stuff

REQUESTS OPEN!!! MASTERLIST!!

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• this could be me being delusional but, i think he’s actually a really gentle man

• well you know how he is normally, but i see him being an absolute sweetie to you

• plays with your hair 😫 i can see him running his fingers through it, helping with a curl routine if you have one, and he LOVES if you get it done all nice and pretty (definitely a sucker for braids)

• will randomly show up to your house as bunny the lifeguard, just to get a laugh out of you

• IMAGINE TRAVELING WITH HIM FOR WILDBOYZ!!!

• def the type to throw bugs and random shit at you, then feel bad if he actually upsets you (it’s best to act upset, if not he’ll keep doing it 😟)

• secretly a sucker for the cheesy shit like sharing a milkshake, matching bracelets, etc

• jokingly he’s not joking flirting with steve-o just to mess with you

“y/n you’re great and all but, me and steve-o have a special connection” - chris with that goofy ass smile on his face

• will see a pretty flower while he’s out wondering around and brings it back to you

“ i saw it and thought you would like it, here you go!”

• he’s so cute omg

• BEGS you to get your nipples pierced with him, i can see it now omg

“babe we should totally get matching nipple rings”

• will pull some random fun fact out of his ass, and then be shocked when you didn’t know

“chris, honey, what are you talking about…”

“YOU DIDNT KNOW?”

15 minute rant follows

• randomly pops into your room with your bra and underwear on

(constantly scolding him for breaking the clasps on your bras, so he buys you new ones)

• a REALLY GOOD KISSER

• i feel like he’s a gentle, slow kisser, really likes to take his time with it

unless he’s drunk, then it’s sloppy and fast

• comes home bloody and you have to clean him up, yall are STOCKED UP on first aid stuff

• calls you nicknames like baby, babe, angel, and the random shit like monkeybutt, and pumpkin 😭

• loves pop music, don’t play with me

• i KNOW he blasts Britney Spears in the car if you want him too 🤷‍♀️ i don’t make the rules sorry

UGHH THIS IS ALL I HAVE RN, BUT I KNOW MORE WILL COME TO ME SO BE READY FOR MORE OF THESE 🙏

CHRIS PONTIUS MY KING

for @tonymarias 🫡

[godsworstson]

need me one of them bam margeras

[babybammargera]

POV you’re the reckless grunge chick of the jackass crew

Always covered in bruises.

Getting scraped up and the boys covering you in cartoon bandaids (which are featured in most of your scenes at this point)

You’re like Steveo in the sense of documenting gnarly slams except you take pics with a Polaroid.

Longish nails that haven’t been broken during filming but are covered in chipped nail polish.

^Bam or Dunn probably painted them one drunk night bc they found a random nail polish at a party.

Nosebleeds from slamming are normal for you but surprisingly you haven’t broken it yet.

(as far as you know anyway)

Somehow always getting hurt in stunts when you’re paired up w Ryan or Steveo.

“Ow Ry your big ass foot went right into my ribs.”

Broke your arm within the same week Ryan did and Jeff was pissed.

He still refuses to let either of you hear the end of it.

He was also mortified seeing the two of you randomly smacking each other with your casts.

You bounce back from said injuries faster than most of the guys would.

And sometimes you pull off stunts the guys couldn’t and never let them live it down.

Annoying Spike Knoxville and Tremaine like it’s your job. Bc technically it is.

To be fair you bully all of them bc they do the same to you.

You’ve definitely tripped Dave before bc he made a sly comment as darf.

Honestly you probably need a shower but you’re still hot so.

Can’t keep up with things to save your life.

Never having clean clothes and ending up raiding all the guys luggage.

Like you’ve definitely stolen a pair of cleanish jeans from Steveo or Bam or Dunn.

And who knows how many shirts from the others.

CLUMSY

Not when it comes to stunts but outside of filming you trip on air or run into walls bc you’re not paying attention.

You’ve punched bam for laughing when it happens on more than one occasion

[cvmsterfire]

look at him 🥹

[jackass4evr]

Hey guys! I'm not new here, but I am new at writing! I'm into kinda niche people, but send over any requests! I have no limits really to smutty stuff, except the obvious, consent is key!

[so-much-for-stardust6]

MTV Music Awards- Jackass Cast

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summary: you, steve-o, johnny and bam are presenting at the 2002 mtv music awards. right before going on stage they suggest you do a stunt.

lowercase intended

requested oc!

warnings: intended injury & not proof read

a/n: requested by @mizfitneeds !! tysm for requesting again, hope u like it :p

-

-

-

-

“i’m sorry i can’t go, baby.” wes frowns.

“don’t worry about it, bam is gonna be there to protect me.” i ruffle his hair.

today is the 2002 mtv awards and i was set to present with three of the jackass cast. i was good friends with them, my cousin being ryan dunn. wes was gonna go as my plus one but he ended up falling sick, staying home instead.

“okay, just be careful..”

“i will. i gotta go though, baby. love you.” i kiss his lips.

“love you, have fun!”

and with that i was out the door. the traffic there was crazy, cars honking everywhere. i was wearing jeans, converse and white crop top with a black leather jacket over. my makeup was subtle, not having the energy to go all out. i was informed that i’d have to walk the red carpet to enter the event. i honestly hated the flashing lights of the paparazzi camera’s, it’s annoying. my driver was finally able to park, right outside was the carpet. i take a deep breath before opening the door, people’s cheers and cameras flashing immediately took over my senses. i walked the carpet, smiling and waving at everyone. i stopped in the middle of the carpet, posing for the paparazzi. they all screamed at me, none of their words catching my ears. except one.

“y/n! where’s wes?!”

“he’s sick! poor guy has to stay home!” i frown.

“hope he gets better!”

“thank you!!”

i give the cameras an air kiss before walking off. i enter where everyone is, many celebrities chatting up storms with drinks in their hands. my eyes look for the jackass guys, eventually seeing them by the bar. i smile and immediately make my over to them, steve-o the first one to notice me.

“y/n!!” he exclaims.

he was wearing an unbuttoned yellow and black plaid shirt (with nothing underneath of course) and a basic pair of blue jeans. he brings me into a tight hug, laughing his recognizable laugh.

“make room for us, steve-o!” johnny joked, laughing.

i hugged the tall man, noticing his new mustache. he wore blue jeans, a white t-shirt with a picture of a woman on it, topped off his a jackass hat and sunglasses. once johnny pulled away bam was quick to shove him out the way.

“there’s my twin!”

“hey bam! how’s april and phil?” i hug him.

“oh you know, just being them.” he laughs.

“oh yeah, still being tormented by you and ryan?”

“you know it.” bam smiles.

“i’m so glad you’re here, i haven’t seen you in forever.” steve-o said.

“yeah i know, i’ve been busy touring and making music.”

“oh yeah, you toured with korn! that rocks!” bam exclaims.

“how’s that boyfriend of yours? where’s he at?” johnny asks.

“wes? he’s at home sick, he was gonna come but you know.” i shrug.

“does that mean i can make my move?” steve-o jokes.

“and have ryan beat your ass? sure!” i laugh.

we started up conversation about whatever as we wait for our cue to head to our seats. once we did, we shoved our way past people. i accidentally elbowed avril lavigne, apologizing profoundly. she told me not to worry about it, also complimenting my band. i lowkey fangirled inside.

~fast forward to where they get ready to present~

we stood backstage, waiting to be called onto stage to present.

“you got the paper?” johnny asks steve-o.

“yup. you got the stapler?”

“stapler?” i question.

“yeah, i got the great idea of stapling the paper with the winner on it and reading it from my stomach.”

i laugh at their stupidity.

“why don’t you do it, y/n?” bam suggests.

“what?”

“yeah, it’ll be cool if you did it!”

i thought about it, agreeing with him.

“okay.” i nod.

“she did not need much convincing. do you wanna join the crew?” johnny laughs.

“ask me again after this.” i nudge him.

“okay you guys, you’re going on in a second after the announcement is done.” someone backstage tells us.

“ladies and gentlemen, do not try this at home. welcome the stars of jackass the movie: johnny knoxville, bam margera, and the lovely and talented mr. steve-o! and with them is y/b/n’s very own y/n y/l/n!”

we walked out onto the stage, waving at the cheering crowd as the jackass theme song played. steve-o held the extra mic as johnny held the stapler and paper.

bam shouted something into the mic, causing johnny to laugh.

“when i found out that i was gonna be presenting tonight i came up with the most amazing stunt ever. and i’m ready to do it, i told em’ but they told me i’m not allowed to pull my wiener out.” steve-o opened up.

i laughed as the crowd stayed a bit silent, only a couple people making noise.

“don’t worry!” he said before shoving the mic into his mouth.

i watched as bam slapped his head, forcing the mic deeper into his mouth. the crowd gasped as steve-o fell the ground, bam and johnny slightly laughing. i covered my mouth at the idiot.

“never mind that, get a load of knoxville’s mustache! i mean it looks like a three sided dick duster, i mean come on it’s terrible!” bam spoke into the mic on the pedestal, making fun of johnny’s mustache.

“but hey, the fellas seem to like it!” i chirp in.

“what are we presenting anyway?” bam asks.

“best rap video.” johnny says, shoving the paper to bam.

“best rap video, sweet! i got um-i figured that there’s pretty much no one that that awards gonna go to that can’t hook me up with some legal advice right now.” steve-o rambles into the mic.

“how’re you feeling right now, y/n? been awful quiet here.” johnny nudges me.

“feeling like a good drink right now, johnny. gotta amp myself up you know, these nominees are really good!”

“who are you rooting for?”

“don’t put me on the spot, johnny. you know i’m everyone’s favorite cheerleader.” i pretend to shake pom pom’s in the air as i wink, the crowd cheering.

“i bet you’re wes’ favorite cowgirl.” bam slyly says.

i blush at his words, looking away from the crowd.

“right! here are the nominees for best rap video!” johnny says.

the screen behind us plays a video of all the nominees.

“you still gonna do it?” johnny whispers into my ear.

i nod and smile brightly, my adrenaline pumping. the video ends and the attention is back on us.

“all right let’s do this!” johnny pulls out the stapler and turns to me.

i shove back my jacket to make more room as johnny places the paper on my stomach, wasting no time to press the stapler on. i groan as the first one pierces my skin, people in the crowd cheering. bam and steve-o laugh as johnny staples another time.

“got her again, just cause.” bam laughs.

“and the winner is…” johnny leans into the mic.

i thought they’d just open the paper up and read but bam instead rips it off of me. i groan again in pain and the staples rip out my skin, some blood already pooling at the wounds.

“eminemmmmm!!!” bam exclaims.

everyone cheers, including me, as eminem walks up to the stage while his song ‘without me’ plays. johnny hands him the award before eminem spoke into the mic.

“you just stapled yourself, man?” he asks me.

i laugh and nod at his question.

“this chick is really bleeding.” he points to my stomach.

he then shakes our hands, words of congratulations leaving our mouth. he stood behind him as he says his speech, thanking people for the awards. once he was done, we all walked off stage and into the back.

“man, you’re one crazy chick for doing that but props to you.” he patted my shoulder.

“guess it’s in my blood, dunn is my cousin.”

“no shit, i knew you reminded me of someone.”

he laughs.

someone behind him called his name, causing him to say his goodbyes before leaving.

“you are a fucking natural!” bam laughs, jumping up and down around me.

“dude, you might have to replace ryan.” steve-o jokes.

“maybe the views will go up!” i say, making everyone laugh.

“let’s his the bar, my stomach is aching and i desperately need a drink.” i chuckle as we walk off.

[missusdunn]

Ryan Dunn Crushing On You Hcs

a/n : this is my first time posting so I’m sorry if it’s not the best. suggestions and constructive criticism are greatly appreciated! also currently working on a joe frantz x reader and bam x reader x ryan. so stay tuned I hope you enjoy :)

warning : 18 + language

- thinks about u all the time!!

- if you’re not looking he’s staring 100%

- he seems like the type to be nervous to start a conversation with you.

- unless he’s drunk

- but if he’s thrown into a conversation with you he’s trying to make you laugh

- it’s like his life purpose to impress you

- whether he volunteered to do a dangerous stunt or helped with cars and building more for viva la bam

- he’ll do anything to make sure you know he’s strong and manly (lmao)

- you may be oblivious to his crush (bc he never initiates any convo)

- it’s painfully obvious to everyone else esp bam

- his friends want to tell you so bad but instead they try to get him to ask you out

- until bam gets tired of it and takes things into his own hands

- the next time he catches ryan staring at you

- “Hey Y/N!”

- “What?!”

- “Ryan wants to fuck you!!”

- maybe he’ll get the courage to ask you out once he’s done beating the shit out of his best friend

[1800miserablethot]

𝕄𝕒𝕝𝕖 ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣 𝕩 𝔹𝕒𝕞 𝕄𝕒𝕣𝕘𝕖𝕣𝕒

Plot: You all go swimming and some chick comes up and tries to flirt with you and Bam gets a bit jealous while watching. (Ya’lls friends don't help because they just tease him about it and it makes him even more jealous)

Setting: Iceland in the blue lagoon

><><><><

“Hanna you’re really letting yourself go, man,” Dico jokes, causing everyone to laugh and look at Hanna who replies, “I don't give a fuck,” which causes Bam to jump in and mumble “Pear ass body,” which causes everyone to erupt into laughter again. 

Bam looks around while laughing trying to spot eyes on you and when he does his smile falters and his laughter fades out. Instead, a soft glare replaces it as he sees you on the other side of the lagoon talking to a random chick who was way too close for Bam’s liking. “Uh oh, look’s like [Y/N] switching teams,” Bam hears Rake say which makes his glare darken, “shut the fuck up,” Bam hisses, his eyes going back over to you and the random chick. She wasn't bad looking, skinny yet toned body, and black medium-length hair that had streaks in it. “Bam if he was a woman,” Ryan joked but it goes one ear out the other. Along with the comment about the tattoo, the chick had on her upper thigh and the other near her boobs. His fist clenched knowing that the chick would probably try and draw your attention there, “No more hearing Bam and [Y/N] getting it on at night, instead we’re gonna be hearing her.” One of the other boys had said which another replied by saying “That’ll be hotter to listen to,” and that broke Bam. He snaps around and yells “fuck you assholes! That skank isn't stealing [Y/N] from me!” He must have shouted a bit too loudly because all his friends were now looking at him weirdly until Dunn finally spoke up, “Dude they heard you say that,” 

Bam stiffens at the realization and awkwardly turns his head toward your direction seeing you and the random lady both looking at you. He sees her giggle and you grin down at her and that causes his veins to boil with anger. When your eyes meet Bam’s he looks down before shaking his bangs out his face and looking away pretending to ignore you. You couldn't help but chuckle at how Bam was acting, quickly waving bye to the girl you make your way back over to your friends. “[Y/N] has a girlfriend,” Dico teases, “hell no, I’m taken,” you say which earns a snicker from Ryan and Rake when Bam chimes in by saying “By who, her or me?” You laugh softly at his bratty attitude, knowing that there was no bite behind those words. “Might be her if you keep your attitude up,” you joke which makes everyone else laugh and react but it only earns a scoff and an eye roll from Bam. “Fine, she can have you,” Bam retorts, going to get out of the water but you quickly grab his wrist and pull him back in. “Baby I’m kidding,” You cooed, turning Bam around to wrap your arms around his waist. Smiling softly at the pout that formed across his lips. “You know that I only want you,” You continued, seeing how his face started to flush a small shade of pink. “You better, asshole,” he mutters which makes you grin before you plant a small kiss on his pout. “You done pitching now?” you joke, moving your hands from his waist to grip his hips pulling him closer. You see his gaze glance over to what you assume to be the chick and when you glance over as well you are correct. Before you can say anything you feel lips crash onto yours, a tongue slipping its way into your mouth. You hum into the kiss knowing what he’s doing, so you decide to play his little game back. You move your hands up to cup the sides of his face, your nails digging into his skin as you deepen the kiss as much as you can. You keep him like this until you start to hear him huffing and panting into the kiss, you take his bottom lip in between yours and pull on it gently before letting it go which earns a groan from Bam. Seeing his half-lidded eyes flutter open to meet yours. “Now are you done?” you ask, your grin reappearing when he nods and takes your hand into his. You glance over quickly to see that the chick is now gone and you can't help but shake your head with a small laugh. Well, at least Bam got what he wanted. 

[olivia091108]

Crimson

Summary:bam gets his heartagram tattoo done

Word count:1.8k

Pairing:bam margera x reader

I have just finished checking out my last client and it has gone quicker than I thought so maybe today I’ll actually be able to go out and meet some of my friends.

I walk into the back room to say goodbye and grab my things when I heard Holly shout my name in a hurry, I turn around and face her 

“Everything alright”

“ I’ve just thrown up in the bathroom can you take my last customer I feel awful please”

After thinking it through, I can’t really say no if she feels ill, “ alright, hope you feel better”

“Thank you so much. I totally owe you one”

From behind me I hear ruby “girl she is so faking I heard her in the bathroom, talking to one of her friends and they’re gonna go to a club because apparently some famous dudes are there”

“ You’re kidding, at least I can still hang out with you though”

“About that I did overtime yesterday, so I get to finish early today. So here’s the keys lock up as soon as you’re done and maybe you’re still have time to meet your friends.”

“Do you mean I’m here all by myself? What if there’s some creepy dude, an-“

“You’ll be fine, and if anything goes wrong, just call me love you”

“Love you too I call out to her as she leaves the shop”

I walk back over to my station and get my stuff set up and putting on another layer of my crimson lipstick and putting in my earphones, trying to pass the time

BAMS POV

Who into the tattoo parlour not seeing anyone so I ring the bell on the front desk. nothing. I try again. Nothing. maybe they’re in the back. I wander off to the back of the shop and see a girl facing away from me. 

“Hello?”she doesn’t hear me so I tap her shoulder

YOUR POV

I feel someone grab my shoulder and without hesitating i scream so high I’m surprised the glass didn’t break and swung on whoever was behind me feeling my fist connect with a face.

 As if something in my brain switched on, I realised that he is probably my client who I have now just punched in the face and his Crimson blood is dripping from his nose.

“I’m so sorry”

With the hand that isn’t holding his nose he pulls out my earphones and I realise I must’ve shouted in his face s this time I say it much quieter “I’m so sorry”

“Nah your’e fine at least you threw a good punch.” He tries to joke but I feel even worse I grab him some tissues to clean up the blood on his face, and then I realise how handsome he is with his dark, brown, almost black hair, piercing blue eyes, and has a small mole on his face.

“Umm well I’m y/n I’m gonna be doing your tattoo so if you can take a seat.”

“I’m bam”

“Have you gotten any tattoos before bam?”

“Yh a few”

“What were you thinking of getting today”

“A heartagram right here” he points to right above his dick.

The thought of being that close to his dock not just anyone’s but a VERY handsome man’s dick makes me feel a bit shy and awkward.

“Cool super cool” he laughs a bit at my awkwardness “yeah I thought so too”

He lays back on the recliner chair and pulls his top up revealing his torsos and while I was staring eh started to unbuckle his belt and pull down his jeans more showing off his prominent v line.

I quickly snap out of it and draw out a stencil and double check that he likes it. I try to get in a position where I don’t have to lay sideways to do the tattoo but no luck

“Sorry can I just”I squeeze between bams legs and he manspreads more to give me some space so now my face is inline with his dick. Usually in the position I wouldn’t be giving tattoos and he knows that as well since he has a coy smile on his face.

As I’m getting ready to tattoo him I start to make conversation to distract him from the tattoo.

“You doing anything fun this weekend”

“ Yeah actually after this meeting up with a few of my friends at a club and have some drinks but I’m only visiting for the weekend so I’m probably gonna look round and shit” I feel a tinsy bit jealous but continue with the tattoo

“What about you?”he asks staring down at me probably getting a great view down my cleavage but I’m not complaining he’s one of the hotties men I’ve ever seen.

“Well, I was planning to do the same, but the girl who was originally supposed to tattoo you felt ill, so I had to cover for her. And tomorrow, I’m meeting up with my friend bill. I haven’t seen him in awhile because his girlfriend has gotten pregnant.”

I hear my phone pain, but I’m doing a detailed part of the tattoo so I asked them to read it out. It’s not like I’ll be anything weird since I’m undeniably single

“William says sorry I can’t make it tomorrow. Chloe wants us to look for cribs and stuff maybe another time” my face does drop a bit,but just ignore it and focus on the tattoo

“So I get why bill is short for William and Bob for Robert, but how do you get dick from Richard?”He asks sound like it’s been frustrating him for awhile. And without thinking I reply “you ask him nicely”

He breaks into a fit of laughter and I quickly move the tattoo gun off him so it doesn’t mess up. “Your funny y/n”

Can you bring your jeans down a bit lower please?”I say feeling all the blood rush to my face. He shuffles them down even more almost seeing the start of his dick

“Anywhere you think I should see while visiting?”

“There’s a  fair that seems quite good  or you can go to the pier with you’re Girlfriend it might be a bit busy but there’s loads of stuff to do down there”

“I don’t have a girlfriend”

“Oh sorry, I just thought since you’re so handsome that you would have a girlfriend I’m sorry”I whip my hand over my mouth not meaning to say that

“It’s fine it ain’t a big deal”he assured me “wanna know a fun fact” “yeah sure”

“My dick was in the world book of records” my face flushed probably the same colour as my lipstick “oh wow um nice”

“Yeah but then the librarian told me to take it out” he stares down at me, watching me laugh at his joke, and when I look up, I catch him staring down my cleavage, and now he’s the one to blush 

“So, where are you visiting from anyway?”

“West Chester, Pennsylvania”

Oh wow, I have a friend who lived on there. I visited her a couple times,and she tried to teach me to skate but I wasn’t very good but she said that there’s this really annoying famous man who lives down there and destroys things and plays his music so loud till like 5am. People like that are such jackass’

“Yeahh they definitely are”

“Your all done” he stands up to look in the body length mirror and stares at the tattoo. “That’s sick thanks how much do I owe”

“$160” he grabs a wad of cash all in 100s and gives me $200 and tells me to keep the change and leaves the shop

I check the time on my watch 10:34 too late. I start clearing my stuff away and making sure everything is switched off. I look in the mirror and see my lipstick has come off so I reapply before leaving the shop and locking it

I dont get too far until I hear my name being called and I hear bam calling my name. “Did you forget something”

“No I was just gonna see if you wanted to come out for a few drinks tonight.?”

“I really would but I’m so broke right now and I’m not really dressed for a club”

“You look great and it’s all on me” I look down at my outfit my denim skirt that some people would say is too short and my deep cut red top. It will do.

“Ok yeah that would be nice” we walk to the club and when we get there there’s a huge line and a billboard above saying JACKASS APPEARANCE this is probably where holly went too she lives jackass she’s always rambling

I walk to the bcak if the line to start queuing but bam takes my hand and we walk to the first of the line “bam what are you doing we can’t cut in” the bouncer just asks “who’s she?” “She’s with me” and just like that we’re in

“What the fuck hwo did you do that?

“I’m apart of jackass” as he says that I see all his friends come over

“Y/n this is Johnny, Steve o,wee man and Ryan”

“Hi it’s nice to meet you” we chat and have some drinks for a bit before they all separate and me and bam start doing shots and me being a lightweight I’m already drunk.

Over the speakers I hear hit in here by nelly playing. “Omg I love this song come dance with me” I didn’t really give him a choice as I dragged him to the dance floor and began to grind on him. Throughout the song we have been getting closer and closer so now our lips are almost touching.

I reach up and kiss him and pull away just as quick for a second I thought you read the signals wrong until bam pulls me back into the kiss and kisses me even harder and my arms wrap round his neck and I feel his arms snake round my waist. He bites onto my bottom lip which makes a moan slip out and he starts to kiss down my neck and soon enough finds my sweet spot and he nips at it and I already know that there will be a bright hickey tomorrow morning.

I move my head down and catch his lips into a kiss again but we disconnect when we feel a bright light on us and over the speakers we here johnnys voice “there he is he was too busy trying to get laid.”everyone laughs at that including me and in the bright light I can see that my lipstick is all over his face. I grab his hand and drag him out hearing whistles coming from behind.

“You might as well prove him right”

-liv

This acc took so long but I feel like I could have done better

[jackasswhre]

Hiya idk if your requests are open but if they are can I get a jackass image/fic (Platonic) where reader gets dumped by their partner

This is kinda hard to explain

But yk how some people write a fic and there multiple people in that in fic that's kinda what I'm thinking like something with whatever jackass guys you want

(⁠ʘ⁠ᴗ⁠ʘ⁠✿⁠)

hiiiiii, yes they are open, sorry ive been really busy lately so i havent posted

i did headcanons bc i dont really know how to write full fics, also i did johnny, steve-o, ryan, bam and pontious :) hope you like it!!!!

Platonic!Johnny Knoxville/ Steve-o/ Bam Margera/ Ryan Dunn/ Chris Pontious x reader who has just been dumped

Johnny Knoxville

(im really sorry his is gonna be short bc i have no idea what to write for him)

Ok so i feel like Johnny would definetly hug you and tell you that it's going to be okay

Like some motivational dad talk lmao

Because his way of comforting you is most likely talking about it

And if you don't want to talk about it then he 100% understands and tells you that he's here for you

Probably watches a comedy movie/show with you so you will laugh

Orders takeout or makes food himself

Just like makes sure you feel alright and makes you forget about the person who just dumped you

Does anything you ask him to

In general he's really gentle about it

Steve-O

I feel like Steve-O wouldn't really be into the whole talking thing

I mean like he definetely will listen to you rant if you need to but he just wouldn't really know what to say

It also depends on what era it is

Because if he's sober then he's incredibly sweet and like Johnny probably watches a movie with you

But if he's not sober then he'll 100% suggest going to the bar and getting shit faced after like 10 minutes of hearing you talk about the breakup

And like honestly you two would have so much fun that night

Drinking and laughing

Honestly maybe even crying

If you don't want to go to the bar then he understands and goes by himself

Lmao jk he's not that mean

He might whine a bit but if you really don't want to go then he gets it and you guys probably fall asleep on the couch watching some early 2000s cartoon

Bam Margera

Now here's the deal with Bam

He totally and completely gets it and is there for you

But he will also suggest that you guys go skate to let some anger out

If you can skate it's not even gonna be a suggestion

He'll literally grab you, pull you off of the couch and throw you in the car to go to the skatepark

If you don't know how to skate he says that he'll help you and while you're there he "teaches" you different tricks but in reality he's just having fun and he may have slightly forgotten that you can't skate

Once you guys are done you probably hit up a gas station, buy some snacks and sit on the sidewalk

In the middle of converstation he'll ask if you're okay and if there's anything else he can do

Bam's an amazing friend so he'll help in any way he can

If the person who dumped you was a guy and was a total asshole then he definetely calls Dunn and they "talk" to him

You guys spend the rest of the night listening to HIM and maybe even smoking

Ryan Dunn

Bro when I tell you that Ryan is the best friend anyone could have I mean it

I mean like first of all he would 100% give you an AMAZING hug and tell it's gonna be alright

Then he would probably take you to the store and buy you whatever snacks and/or drinks you wanted

You guys would spend the rest of the afternoon/evening/night/whenever talking and watching tv

He shares some of his stories on how he got dumped and tells you that he knows how you feel and wants to make you as happy as possible

If you want to laugh then he'll put on some show or tell you funny stories

If you want to cry then he will totally cry with you

If you're mad then he will first try to calm you down and if that doesn't work he'll find an abandoned building or something where you guys can break stuff

If the rest of the viva la bam/cky guys hear about what you guys are doing they will 100% join you (and if you don't want them to Ryan tells them to fuck off)

Ryan's the definition of the sweetest friend anyone could have

Chris Pontious

Lets get one thing straight

Chris is the funniest person on the planet

So when you tell him about you getting dumped, his goal is to make you laugh as much as possible

Whether that's while you're crying

Or when you guys are talking about other things

He tries to get your mind off of it and he does anything to do it

Even if he totally embarasses himself in the process

As long as you're laughing he's happy

He's also really good at talking so if you don't want him to make jokes 24/7 he'll 100% listen and talk to you about other things

I feel like he gives really but also kinda stupid advice

Idk how to explain it

Maybe its the fact that normally everything that comes out of this dudes mouth is goofy as fuck

Or maybe its just the fact that he hasn't fully stopped making jokes

Whatever it is the advice is still pretty good

And he is still fully devoted to making you happy

Also please laugh at his jokes

Even if they're kinda bad

It'll boost his ego so much lmao