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stratossphere · 2 years ago

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attention | j.k

for once, you’re drunk and johnny isn’t, and you’re a needy drunk.

warnings: reader is super drunk, knoxville is unimpressed, fluff <3

word count: 3k

a/n: i’m obsessed with whiny reader and i can’t help it i’m sorry!!!!

taglist: @asskickedbygirl @kristinee @lizey-thornberry @faceache111 (lmk if you want to be added!)

— —

Being drunk in a room full of people who weren't really drunk was fucking miserable. Sure, everyone was probably a little tipsy, but you’d been out with your other friends right before getting to Johnny's house for what was turning out to be the first actually casual work get-together in all of Jackass history, so no one was anywhere close to your level.

And, to make things worse, when you got drunk, you got touchy. Johnny was sitting next to you on one of the couches, but there was a good amount of distance between you, and he was currently completely entrapped in a conversation with Jeff about technical Jackass stuff, which meant that he was paying you zero attention.

He was also wearing the leather jacket with the red, white, and blue stripes, which wasn't helping much either.

"Yo. You want another beer?" You were jolted out of your little pity party by a hand hitting your shoulder, and you looked up with a deep frown to see Dave standing above you. The only benefit to Johnny not paying any attention to you was that there was no one to cut you off when you clearly needed it. A grin formed on your face.

"Why yes I would." You accepted, trying to keep your voice composed so that you didn't sound as drunk as you actually were. Dave nodded and headed off in the direction of the kitchen, just as you got up on your knees and leaned over the side of the couch so that you were close to where Bam, Steve-O, and Ryan were sitting on the floor playing cards and arguing adamantly. "Whatcha doing?"

"Jesus. Your breath smells like a liquor bomb." Bam groaned as he dipped his head away from you, making a face as he shielded his cards from your view like you were any part of whatever game they were playing.

"Well, you'll have to excuse me. I've already been to three bars today." You said dryly, narrowing your eyes as you finally caught a look at his hand. With context telling you that they were playing poker, you winced. "Damn. Shitty hand."

"Y/n." Bam shoved you slightly, and with all of the alcohol in your system you almost went tumbling forward right over the arm of the couch. You looked back momentarily so that you could hook one foot on Johnny's leg to keep yourself from falling before you smacked Bam in the back of the head, to which he just swung right back with a glower on his face. "Go blow Knoxville, you fuckin' asshole."

"Dude. Gross." Steve-O protested, kicking Bam from where he was sitting across from him. That earned him a kick right back, and then they were going back and forth hard enough for Bam’s back to slam back against the couch. Ryan ducked away from the fighting, taking the opportunity to get to your point of view so that he could look at Bam's cards before quickly sitting back.

"Should I even be giving you this?" Suddenly Dave was next to you again, and he was giving you a skeptical look as you turned slightly on your side so that you could look at him. You scoffed.

"Um, yes. I am fine." You reassured him in a voice that certainly didn’t sound fine, taking the beer before he could make his decision on whether or not he was going to give it to you. Before you even moved an inch towards popping the tab, suddenly you were being pulled back forcefully by the belt loop of your jeans, and you turned around in indignant shock to see Johnny's knowing stare trained directly on you.

"You're fine, huh?" With a quick look to the side, you realized that Jeff had moved on to talking to Spike and Pontius, leaving Johnny's attention completely open to realizing how drunk you were. It didn't help that you were literally keeping yourself from falling over by holding onto him with your foot. "Give me that."

"But—"

"I wasn't asking." And then he was pulling you completely away from your end of the couch, getting you close enough to where he could snatch the beer out of your hand and put it on the side table that was right next to him before he forced you to sit down.

"You're so lame. First, you completely ignore me, now you're stealing my beers." You complained as you deflated next to him, crossing your arms in a pout as your shoulder hit his. He let out a chuckle of disbelief.

"Oh, my poor girl. You think you're gonna survive?" He teased, his arm shifting so that he could put it around your shoulders. You keened to his touch despite your disdain for his reprimanding, as it was exactly what you’d been craving since you’d arrived.

"No. I wanna cuddle." You complained, resting your cheek against his shoulder and reaching your hand up to his cheek so that you could hold his head against yours. The liquor and beer in your system was clearly numbing your awareness to the rest of the room, as you normally wouldn't be caught dead being even close this touchy in front of all of your friends, but he just smelled so good and you knew that even if he wasn't explicitly letting on, he always ate that shit up.

"Holy shit." He slowly peeled your hand off of his face, leaning back slightly to look you in the eyes. You knew he was checking to see if you were visibly on drugs as well as being drunk (which you weren't, for the record), and you widened them dramatically to make it easier for him. "What were they giving you at that club?"

"Irish car bombs." You boasted, flexing your arm as you remembered how impressed your other friends had been with the quick rate at which you’d gone through five consecutively. It was always fun to show off in front of people that weren't on the Jackass level of bad decisions. "Not that many though, babe. I swear."

"What, like three?" Even that number seemed to irk him. You froze slightly, because he really wasn't going to like being informed that it had actually been five, and then a couple of whiskey shots on top of that, before just smiling as convincingly as possible and shrugging.

"Something like that." It's not like he could've tortured the information out of you. You snuggled in closer to his side then, fingers grabbing absentmindedly at the opening of his jacket as you let out a yawn against the warm skin of his neck. "Who cares? I didn't even throw up."

Yet.

"Wow. I don't think I have ever seen you being this sweet." He marveled as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head, putting a hand on your leg where your knees were drawn up towards your chest and then interlacing your fingers when you put yours over his. "I should be getting you on video."

"You're so mean." You complained, ignoring the fact that he was gently running circles on the inside of your palm with his thumb where he was holding your hand. Even with just his minuscule touches, you could feel yourself starting to fade out, and you knew that it was caused by his innate talent to calm you down completely every time he was in touching distance.

"I think you're a little touchy. No pun intended." He said, lifting his arm to show how you were practically stuck to him. "This jacket's probably a little dirty, dollface. Give me a sec to get it off so your shirt doesn't get gross."

You let out a small whine of protest, feeling your heart aching as he pulled his hand out of yours and then promptly realizing just how drunk you really were. You literally felt about five seconds away from crying as you were forced to let him get off the couch, only feeling half-consoled when you got to watch him strip down a layer to reveal the 'MID FUCK MUNCH' shirt he was wearing underneath his jacket. It made you laugh just a little bit.

"Bro. Did you get roofied?" You vaguely heard Wee-man's voice from somewhere in front of you, but you had reclined back to lie down on the couch with your eyes closed by that point, and you weren't about to open them again to locate where he was speaking from.

"No. Say no to drugs." You mumbled, snickering to yourself at your own joke as you rolled onto your stomach and basically face-planted against the couch. The liquor was really starting to hit now, and any tiny piece of self-awareness that you had possessed before was slowly fading away with every passing second.

"Alright. Bedtime for you." Johnny said decisively, nudging you with his knee as he kneeled down on the couch next to you. You opened your mouth and let out a scoff of indignation, your hand shooting out to his arm to stop him from pulling you up.

"No no no! I'm having fun!" You pouted, smiling widely in the face of his irritated stare when you looked up at him. "Come on. Come lay with me."

"Quit trying to steal Knoxville from us, you fucking alcoholic." Bam snapped at you from out of your eye-line. Even in your hammered state you knew how much of a hypocritical callout that was, and you narrowed your eyes before sitting up as fast as you could manage so that you could shoot him a downright venomous look.

"I hope you fucking die." You spat, taking one of the pillows off of the couch and chucking it at the back of his head and spilling his beer in the process. About half a second later, you were being grabbed by your arm and pulled right up off the couch onto very unstable legs as Bam grumbled profanities in your general direction. You knew you were in trouble before you even turned to see the glare on Johnny's face.

"Upstairs. Now." This time there was no room for persuasion in his voice, and you paled slightly. Yeah. You were fucked for the night. You got a symphony of jeers considering your violent act against Bam had drawn everyone's attention onto you, and you blindly threw two middle fingers to everyone in the room as Johnny started to pull you towards the hall. He glanced back momentarily in the direction of your friends. "I'll be back in 10."

"What? You're not even gonna stay with me?" You whined despite knowing that you had definitely just fucked up those chances by wishing death on Bam, hanging off of him slightly as you complained. He just shot you a look, continuing towards the staircase and then grabbing your hand tightly in his as you began the trek up the stairs.

"You spilled beer all over my goddamn floor and you told Bam you hope he dies. You lost your privilege." He muttered, having to do most of the lifting to get you up each step as you swayed dangerously with each movement. "And I can't just go to bed with everyone still downstairs. You know that."

"Oh. Okay." You tried not to make it evident that you were pouting, but he could probably hear it in your voice. After another minute or so, you finally made it all the way up the stairs, and you felt yourself yawning as you caught sight of Johnny's bed when you got to his room. A hundred times better than the couch.

Johnny hadn't spoken a word since his irritated lecture on the stairs, and when you sat down on the edge of the bed to let your head catch up with your eyes, you felt anxiety rush through you at the scowl that was still on his face.

"Baby. Don't be mad at me." You whined, tilting your head up to where he was standing above you and giving him a desperate look. He cracked a small hint of a smile, reaching out and tucking your hair behind your ear before cupping your cheek in his warm palm.

"I'm not mad at you. You're just a handful." He muttered with a small sigh, taking his hand away before you turned your head enough to bite him like he would've done to you had the roles been reversed. "C'mon. Get in bed and I'll be up in like, the next hour."

"But I miss you." You whimpered, letting him guide you towards getting into your coined side of the bed despite your complaints because, despite all of your talk, you really were tired. Slamming drinks and causing problems could really take a lot out of someone.

"You'll survive an hour." Johnny, of course, never fell for your begging. Not unless he had about double the amount of liquor in his system than what you currently had in yours.

"Can you sit with me until I fall asleep?" You tried instead. You knew you were really pushing your luck, but you couldn’t help yourself, barely making it to the pillow before you were lying down completely as he started to undo the button of your jeans. Great bonding experience with your boyfriend who was definitely not in the mood. He sighed.

"Just a little bit, okay? I can't be leaving those assholes unattended in my house for too long." Once he finally got your jeans undone (and your bra, with only a little bit of a suggestive look as he did so), he pulled the comforter over you, turning off the small lamp that was close to your face and then rubbing your back gently. "Well? Were you finally able to outdrink someone for once today?"

A dig at the fact that, although you may have been flirting in the territory of alcoholism, you were nowhere close to your boyfriend or friends on Jackass. That would take about another bottle of Jack a day at least to achieve.

"Fuck off. I outdrink all of the other people I hang out with." You grumbled, barely able to keep your eyes open by that point as he continued to rub your back. "By a lot."

"Oh I bet, sweetheart."

After that you didn't respond, and after a few minutes, you could no longer fight the alcohol coma that had been threatening to consume you for the past hour or so. You were able to get one last look at an amused looking Johnny before you passed out with your face directly in the pillows, the only focus in your brain being his hand on your back as you drifted into what was sure to be at least a 12-hour bout of unconsciousness.

—

When you woke up again, it was because you could feel shuffling in bed next to you. You groggily opened your eyes, trying to figure out which way was up and vice versa, only to roll right against the person doing all the shuffling. You immediately smelled familiar cologne, and a sleepy smile made its way onto your face.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to wake ya." Johnny said softly, his hand brushing momentarily against yours. His face was pretty close to you, and you immediately smelled the brewery on his breath. You turned the other way and raised your head to check his alarm clock. 2:50.

That asshole. You had gone to bed at 9:45.

"You partied without me." You pouted as you rested your head back down, right on top of his. He let out a slight groan of indignation, but ultimately didn't move away. In fact, he moved closer back into you, reaching an arm back to throw across your waist.

"You already did enough partying." He barely spoke loud enough for you to hear, but you could hear the thickening twang of his southern accent bleeding through due to the fact that he was clearly drunk. You found it endearing when his voice went into a slight hum as you reached up and ran your fingers through his hair. "You doin' okay, sweetheart?"

"Yeah. Just missed you." Taking your head off of his to give your fingers more room in his hair, you instead laid it on the pillow so that your lips were just barely brushing the back of his neck. He always smelled so nice no matter how much he drank. "I wanted to cuddle with you."

"I can turn around—"

"No. Just stay like this." You pulled one leg over his hip so that he was as close as he could physically get, pressing a kiss to his neck as you continued to fuck with his hair. If you could've squeezed him tighter without hurting him, you would've. "I'm smelling you."

"You're a weird fuckin' chick, babydoll." His voice was fading, and you could tell that he was close to falling asleep, which was exactly what you wanted. You slid one hand under his arm so that it was resting against his now-bare chest, scratching your nails against his skin gently.

"Mhm. Love you, baby." You mumbled, your fingers losing purchase in his hair as it started to become harder and harder to keep your eyes open. He was warm, you were cold, and his body warmth was beginning to lull you back towards that coma that he had awoken you from not long ago.

Johnny mumbled back a version of I love you in return that was jumbled by sleep, and then it wasn’t long before you could both hear and feel his snoring where your cheek had settled on his back as you hugged him tight.

You fell asleep extremely tangled up, both eventually turning to face the same way before you were at each other's chests with your arms and legs all mixed up. You knew that you were both going to be wickedly hungover in the morning, and that there was a high likelihood that someone was going to spring out of bed in an attempt to make it to the toilet before they threw up, but for now you were completely content in the comfort of his arms.

And it didn’t hurt that you knew that you’d be able to trap him in bed with you all of the next day if he was as hungover as you were predicting.

#johnny knoxville #johnny knoxville x reader #johnny knoxville fic #jackass movie #jackass #jackass imagine #jackass mtv #bam margera #steve o #dave england #wee man #ryan dunn #chris pontius #jeff tremaine #spike jonze

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stephengloversgf · 3 months ago

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Pov: you take the bus on a beautiful crisp morning

#your bus driver is Dave england #imagine that 💙💙💙#MY DREAM!!!!#whoever originally made this joke I love you so much #I want to marry you #why Dave england da bus driver?!?!???#all da sudden?!??

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knoxvillesjackass · 2 years ago

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hello! I had an idea of No Nut November with Johnny x female reader. The jackass guys all dare each other to do it and the winner couple is who lasts the longest. When his girlfriend finds out, she keeps teasing him and it all ends in smut!! Love your stories!! ❤️

𝐧𝐨 𝐧𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 - 𝐣.𝐤

im so happy to finally see a smut request!! pls, send some more, because i want to get better at writing it! also, do you guys enjoy reading it or do you like fluff and/or angst better?

warnings! edging, oral sex dom!johnny x sub!reader? ( reader receiving and giving), dirty talk, very dirty hihi

words; 3.375

It was bizarre. Annoying, really. You’d given him every opportunity in the world to rail you, blow your back out and make you incapable of walking for the day…All of your attempts were shut down, which was new for you.

Usually, all you had to do was send the smallest signal to Johnny, and he would be ready at any time, but the past two weeks had been different.

He’d been avoiding you, it seemed. He only kissed you when he left for work, and he’d even slept on the couch for some nights.

You’d been left confused and a little hurt by it all. Had you done something wrong, or was he perhaps just not attracted to you anymore?

The thoughts killed you, but it killed him even more. If it hadn’t been for that stupid bet….

“A month without sex? You’ve gotta be shitting me,” Johnny shook his head as the room erupted in laughter, but he was totally serious.

He couldn’t believe that he was the only one objecting to this nonsense. The concept was idiotic and frankly childish.

Steve-O had been the one to bring it up during lunch break. Everyone had shrugged it off, but as the tension grew thicker throughout the day, everyone suddenly began to take it very seriously, Johnny included.

So, as stupid as he thought it was, Johnny was knee-deep in the ‘No Nut November’ phenomenon, even though he hated the idea.

You and Johnny had sex a lot. No shame in that. Just two adults, who loved each other very much. What Johnny did feel off about, was that all of his friends knew just how much sex you had. How? Well, at every given chance to escape the craziness of the crew, the two of you did. And you didn’t do it to have conversations and drink tea. No, you did it to fuck.

Johnny had been labelled as the guy to fail the quickest, and it didn’t sit right with him one bit.

Luckily for him, his self-control was a different ball game. He had more control than all of the jackass guys combined. If there was a will, there was a way, and Johnny never let himself down once he had a goal.

“Oh, y-you’re participating?” Steve-O asked Johnny, who shrugged and nodded. “Yeah,” he huffed, and the room once again erupted in laughter, this time, it sounded more ridiculing than anything.

“What?” He asked confused and scoffed as he stared back at his wide-eyed friends. “Dude, you’re not going to last for two days,” Pontius grinned, Johnny returning a simple growl. “Let’s just fucking see, shall we?”

“Hi, baby!”

You grinned excitedly as Johnny entered your shared apartment. You wrapped your arms around him tightly, furrowing your eyebrows at once when you didn’t feel him embracing you.

“Are you okay?” You asked and unwrapped your arms around his waist, looking up at him innocently. “Y-Yeah, I’m fine, Y/N, I’m just tired. Think I’m gonna go take a shower,” he commented, his eyes focused straight ahead and not down at you.

“Oh, okay. Well, I could join,” you smirked and winked at him, but he merely shook his head and smiled politely before disappearing to the bathroom.

Well, that sucked, you thought.

He was probably just tired. He’d been working long hours, and maybe all the man needed was some space.

You’d attempted to be the understanding girlfriend, even when you felt ignored by Johnny.

The first few days went by okay, although the hours seemed to get longer as the days went by. The week overall was manageable but when the second week struck, Johnny was beginning to struggle.

The day of your anniversary, you'd made everything really special for Johnny. Dressed up nice, cooked some good food, and made the bathtub the perfect place to end the night, together.

When he'd come home, he'd acted just as you'd feared.

Distant and seemingly blind to the effort you'd put into making your fourth anniversary a special one.

The dinner was awkward and you hated the tension. You broke the silence every minute, asking him questions to which he answered with simple and short sentences.

"I have a surprise for you," you smirked. Maybe what he needed was some extra spice, and that was what you were going to give him.

"A surprise?" He asked as he was washing the dishes. He jumped when he felt your arms snake around his waist. Johnny moved away and coughed. His boxers were starting to feel tight, uncomfortably tight.

You grabbed his hand and dragged him to the bathroom. You'd scattered rose petals on the floor and lit some candles. It was the most romantic bathroom you'd ever seen, but Johnny didn't seem to agree.

"O-Oh, Y/N," Johnny coughed nervously and slowly backed out of the bathroom.

"Did I do something wrong? Are you trying to punish me or something? Please, tell me what's going on!"

"No, Y/N-"

"Then why won't you FUCK ME?" You shouted and sniffled. Johnny's heart tore a bit. He wanted to tell you, he really did, but with the mood and how you were feeling, it didn't seem as if it would've been a massive help in his eyes.

The next days were rough. You were upset, understandably. Johnny continued his odd behaviour and you were just about done with it all.

“Just tell me now; when did you give in and how was it?”

Bam stood like a little child next to Johnny and giggled, but Johnny rolled his eyes underneath his sunglasses and sighed.

“I haven’t given in yet, and I’m not going to, so you might as well quit bothering me.”

Bam scoffed at the answer he got from Johnny, but he hadn’t expected much else, considering Johnny’s recent behaviour.

He was in a pissy mood. He was at conflict with himself at all times. The whole dare had transformed into something beyond his control. He was so competitive, sometimes it scared people.

Johnny sat down in the conference room, where the crew held their weekly meetings. He cursed to himself and looked around. Pontius, Steve-O and Jeff sat and looked at him with smug grins.

“How’re you holding up over there, Knoxville?” Jeff asked, to which he received a middle finger from Knoxville.

“It’s been a long time since I've seen Y/N around? When is she coming by again?" Pontius pouted. Just the thought of your name at this point, could get Johnny hot and bothered.

"I-She's not," Johnny mumbled and rubbed his sweaty forehead. Was it just him, or was it starting to get super hot?

"That's weird. I talked to her this morning. She said, she's dropping by to say hello," Jeff said and immediately, Johnny tensed up.

"What?" He asked. He hated to even think it, but you were the last person he needed to see now.

"Y/N!" Wee-man yelled as soon as he saw your figure in the doorway.

Johnny hid his face in his hands as soon as he heard your voice. He imagined you saying his name, moaning it, screaming it.

"Hi, guys," you smiled and entered the conference room, greeting all of the guys with a hug, moving your way around the table until you reached Johnny. "Hi, babe," you smiled and leaned down to plant a kiss on his lips, although he moved away almost immediately.

You scoffed and stood up. What had you expected? He'd only been treating you like that for the last two weeks.

"Well, I can see that I'm not wanted here," you mumbled but were quickly met with reassurance from everyone but Johnny.

"Why would you think that?" Jeff asked, "we love having you here, Y/N."

"You might, but I think Johnny feels a bit different," you hissed and glared at Johnny, who slapped his forehead.

Suddenly, Ehren began laughing hysterically, to everyone's surprise. "Wait, you haven't told her yet?" He grinned and the boys slowly caught on and joined Ehren's laughing fit.

Johnny was so not having it. His fists were curled and his jaw was clenched. And you, you were utterly confused as to what was going on.

"Told me what?"

You raised your eyebrow and looked down at Johnny, who refused eye contact at all costs, the guilt weighing him down like uranium.

"We dared each other do the no nut Novem-"

"Don't even finish that sentence," you said and cut Ehren off. You were quiet for a few moments, trying to assemble yourself before speaking up.

"You wanna explain yourself, asshole?" You spat and looked down at Johnny, who sighed and looked up at you.

"Y/N, I'm so so-"

"Do you guys know how long it's been since I've had sex with my boyfriend?" I asked into the room and the guys all chuckled.

Of course, they knew. They were a part of it too, after all.

"Two weeks!"

It didn't sound like a lot, but anyone who knew you and Johnny understood that this was totally out of the ordinary.

"You're telling me I have to wait two weeks before he can bang me? How many of you guys are still in this bullshit?" You asked loudly to which Pontius, Jeff, Ehren and Wee-Man's hands went up.

"Fuck this," you sighed. You knew just how competitive Johnny was. Nothing could get in his way. Literally nothing, but then again, if anyone had the slightest chance, it was most definitely you.

"Y/N?"

You sighed at the sound of Johnny's voice.

Your fingers were curled inside of yourself as you lay spread across the bed.

You continued, although the sound of Johnny's footsteps came closer and closer.

You closed your eyes and began rubbing your clit, letting out a quiet moan.

"Y/N-fuck," Johnny breathed out when he walked in on you pleasuring yourself. His cock was throbbing at the sight of your naked body, but he denied all of those feelings and shuffled out of the room. The sight had made him hard as a rock.

"Johnny!" You called out. An idea had popped into your head.

He opened the door and peeked in. Your legs were spread open and they were trembling with anticipation.

"Huh?" He asked you. His eyes were almost closed. He couldn't bare to see more.

"Look, I know you're not allowed to cum or whatever, but I'm horny and I need your help," you stated and Johnny's eyes opened wide. You might be on to something, he thought.

Pleasuring you always brought Johnny pleasure, he didn't even have to pull his dick out for this one.

He smiled and rushed over to you.

He wasted no time digging his two fingers into your cunt, plunging them in and out of your wet entrance. His head rested between your legs as his tongue made contact with your clit. You reached down and grabbed a handful of his hair. God, he loved it when you did that.

What he loved, even more, was the way his name sounded when you screamed it out of pure pleasure. "Fuck, Johnny!" You cried and grabbed his one hand that wasn't fucking your cunt and pulling it up to your breast, signalling for him to massage it, which he did, gladly.

Johnny smiled against your folds and licked them up and down, ever so often pinching your sensitive clit between his lips, which drove you crazy.

"I-I think I'm g-"

"Look at me, babydoll," he ordered and you followed, looking directly into his dark brown eyes. You couldn't contain the eye contact for long though, because your eyes rolled into the back of your head and you let out a loud cry as you reached your awaited orgasm.

You tugged at Johnny's hair and breathed in loudly, trying to gather yourself.

"J-Johnny, just fuck me already, please," you sobbed and looked at Johnny.

The offer was so tempting, but he just couldn't. He snapped out of his thoughts when he felt his jeans tightening to the point of it being uncomfortable.

"O-Oh, shi-" he hissed and suddenly flew away from his position. You looked him up and down, eyes landing on the massive boner, he had packed. You held back an evil laugh as Johnny stormed out of the room. "Where are you going?" You yelled as you stood up from the bed.

"I-I'm just gonna go for a drive!" he yelled back and slammed the door. He wasn't angry with you, and you knew that. He was angry with himself. This bet was starting to get really fucking old.

The next days were seriously awful for Johnny. After helping you out, he realised that it might've been a bad idea.

The only thing on his mind was the feeling of your pretty cunt against his fingers and the sound of your screams still rang in his ears every now and then.

And you'd, of course, been making his life a living hell. Walking around naked in the apartment or dressing up in your sexiest lingerie.

Johnny kept himself together, though, and you had to give him credit. He'd handled it all very well, better than you ever could.

(random a/n; this same-ish story, but where the reader is dared?)

The end of November was just around the corner, thankfully. Sure, Johnny's hands were equivalent to magic, but nothing beat the feeling of his cock ramming into you.

You couldn't wait, quite literally. Johnny was so much better at staying committed to a dare than you. You needed him. Like, really needed him.

"Johnnyyyy," you whined and threw yourself at him like a little toddler,

He wasn't as sensitive as before. It seemed that the roles had taken a 180 because you were hornier than ever.

Johnny was sitting with his computer when you suddenly planted yourself in his lap and hugged him tightly.

"What's going on?" He asked and rubbed your back.

"I want it so badly," you whispered and bit your lip. Johnny stiffened up and shifted uncomfortably around on the couch. "Three days to go, Y/N," he comforted you, but that wasn't good enough. "No, but like, now," you said and reached down to straddle his cock. He let out a yelp and lifted you from his lap to the seat beside him as he stood up and paced around.

He was frustrated. It was really not fun anymore. Actually, it never was.

Johnny hurried to his phone and put the phone to his ear.

"Chris, you tell me now and be honest; who's still a part of this November bullshit?" Johnny asked. You smiled to yourself and crossed your fingers.

No one, please say no one.

You couldn't quite hear the rest of the conversation. You didn't really care either, because when Johnny came out, he had darker eyes and a wicked smirk on his lips.

"Go to the bedroom and take your clothes off. I'll be up in two minutes."

You squealed with excitement and ran up the stairs faster than ever.

You stripped out of your clothes and threw them to the side, feeling a knot in your stomach, waiting to be untied.

Johnny entered the room. He'd taken his shirt off on the way up the stairs.

"Get on your knees," Johnny ordered and you did so immediately and without protest of any sort.

The room was pretty dark, but you could still see Johnny's crooked smirk.

He approached you, stopping when he stood right in front of your kneeled figure.

He brushed some hair out of your face and cupped your cheeks as you stared up at him, batting your eyelashes.

He gathered your hair into a ponytail at the back of your head and tied it with the hair tie he had around his wrist.

"Fuck, I've missed your mouth," he moaned and unbuttoned his pants, not even bothering to pull them all the way down. And you were just as desperate to please him again, so without waiting any longer, you took a hold of his rock-hard length and gave it a few pumps. Johnny threw his head back when you put just the tip into your mouth. Impatient and understandably needy, Johnny skipped your slow tempo and grabbed the back of your head, pushing his cock into your mouth fully.

After four years of dating Johnny, your gag reflex was pretty much non-existent.

He began gently thrusting himself into your mouth and then sped up until you eventually could feel his tip at the end of your throat.

You watched with tears in your ears as your boyfriend had lost himself in you, thrusting himself into your mouth again and again until he was a mumbling, moaning mess, cumming down your throat.

You swallowed and Johnny watched you in admiration as he offered you his hand to help you stand up.

Your lips crashed together for the first time in weeks, and you moaned into the kiss when you reached the bed. Johnny put a hand behind your head and the other one on your back, slowly lowering you on the bed as he hovered over you with a hungry, lust-filled gaze.

You were merely wearing his t-shirt and a pair of old shorts, which Johnny quickly tore away, your underwear following. He pulled the shirt from over your head and admired your naked body for a while, before snapping out of his trance to return to his duty.

He began placing kisses down your chest but you pulled him up when you saw where he was going. You grabbed his hand and forced it down to your dripping cunt. "I don't need anything, I just want you to fuck me," you nodded and Johnny smiled. Foreplay was always a big thing in your relationship. It was a way to ensure that both parts were 100% ready, but there was no doubt in your mind; you were ready.

"You're still on the pill despite this stupid bet, right?" He asked and you nodded. He knew how bad you were at forgetting it, and he often scolded you for it.

"Good girl," he whispered raspily. That made your heart melt.

His tip was at your entrance, and you wondered if the three weeks had changed something within you. Was it going to hurt after that long with no sex?

You shook every thought off when Johnny placed a kiss on your forehead and slowly pushed into you.

"Ah-!"

Johnny looked at you with wide eyes. You apologised quietly.

"It must be because it's been a while," you said and Johnny nodded, understanding what you were feeling.

He continued pushing his member into you and watched you closely as you clenched your eyes shut and dug your nails into his wide shoulders.

He rested for a while, waiting for your sign to move, and when that sign came, he began pumping in and out of you slowly but deeply.

You grasped onto him and pulled him as close as possible while also wrapping your legs around his waist. "F-Faster," you moaned with closed eyes and Johnny grunted as he sped up, fucking you at an impossibly fast pace.

Everything seemed to go dull for a short moment. Your pussy clenched and your belly contracted tightly when a wave of pleasure hit you like a thousand bricks.

"I-Oh, my God!"

Your nails dug deeply into Johnny's back and you scratched them up towards his neck, where they rested, fiddling with the ends of his brown hair.

"Look at me, baby," Johnny ordered and continued his thrusts. You had to collect yourself before even listening to his orders, but Johnny was impatient and close to an orgasm, so he didn't have much time.

"Y/N, I said look at me," he repeated. The tone made you look at him immediately and you bit your lip and moaned loudly as you watched him orgasm for the second time that night.

"Fuuuck-urgh, baby!"

He trembled and with one last thrust, he pulled out of you and fell down beside you with a heavy but satisfied sigh.

"This November has been the best and worst of my life," you sighed and Johnny laughed in agreement as he kissed your forehead and snuggled you closer.

probably my favourite smut i've ever written, but what do you think?

#johnny knoxville fanfic #johnny knoxville jackass #jackass #jackass x reader #johnny knoxville #jackass imagine #chris pontius #dave england #ehren danger #preston lacy #ryan dunn #wee man #johnny knoxville fluff #johnny knoxville smut #johnny knoxville imagine

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viva-la-axe · 2 months ago

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remembering when i used ryan and johnny’s names for two kids in a story about the revolutonary war and taxes for a social studies assingment in middle school…

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sunnyie-eve · 4 months ago

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Odds Together Masterlist

Series: Viva La Bam & Jackass

Paring: Ryan Dunn x OFC Margera!

Summary: Being related to the Bam Margera wasn't the easiest thing in the world. If Annabelle could she would pay not to be his sister. The only good but also bad thing being his sister was she was also friends with his best friend.

{ Ch.1 | Ch.2 | Ch.3 | Ch.4 | Ch.5 | Ch.6 | Ch.7 | Ch.8 | Ch.9 | Ch.10 | Ch.11 | Ch.12 | Ch.13 | Ch.14 | Ch.15 | Ch.16 | Ch.17 | Ch.18 | Ch.19 | Ch.20 | Ch.21 | Ch.22 | Ch.23 | Ch.24 | Ch.25

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babybammargera · 1 year ago

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Ouch

(listen we all know Dave is “accident” prone so that's my inspiration)

Dave England x reader fluff

You're sitting to the side with Loomis (just pretend he was there) watching as the boys film a bit they very originally named the bungee boogie. Slam after slam each of them gets back up and continues to subject themselves to the same outcome. Dave as usual gets banged up a ton and you bite the inside of your cheek trying not to laugh at his final fall. After they finish filming, you patch up Ryan Bam and Ehren before your boyfriend sits down with you to get doctored up himself. You lean over and start cleaning one of the small scrapes he got in the process of filming and he winces pulling his arm away, “Ouch that stings!” you shake your head smiling, and slap a band-aid on it, “There's no way that hurt worse than what you subject yourself to on the daily babe don't be a drama queen.” He looks at the pink bandage and then back at you before standing up, “You make a valid point but it's worth it because you take care of me.” you roll your eyes at him and give him a kiss, “Yeah I think Ed would be a little less sweet when it comes to your so-called medic needs.” He shrugs and grabs a water bottle from the cooler quickly returning to sit down on the grass in front of you. You run your fingers through his messy hair and he leans back against your legs relaxed knowing if he was with you pranking him is off limits. “Despite you constantly getting hurt you really do look cute doing these dumb stunts, I know you hate a lot of them but when you're excited about a bit its adorable.” He grins and turns to face you, “Even the shit bits?” You groan and stand up pretending to puke, “Absolutely not and I'm so glad I avoid set those days.” He helps you gather the first aid kit contents you had pulled out to patch up the boys and the rest of your things, “you love me though.” You hug him and plant a kiss on his cheek, “of course I do babe.”

#jackass #cky #viva la bam #jackass headcanons #dave england #darf #daveengland #mtv jackass #jackass x reader #jackass fic #jackass fanfiction #jackass boys #jackass imagine #jackass fanfic

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so-much-for-stardust6 · 7 days ago

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Show It Then- Bam Margera

summary: bam forgot your guys’ anniversary and you two have an argument, leading into him making it up to you.

lowercase intended

warnings: smut, arguing, & not proof read

a/n: wrote a completely different ending to this but i liked this version better 😵

i stared at the wall of bam’s room, waiting for him to come home. today was our anniversary and he was out getting hurt with the guys instead of spending it with me. when i showed up at the front door, sobbing my eyes out i swear april wanted to smack him upside the head. i promised her i’m okay but she obviously knew it wasn’t. i’ve been sitting on his bed for the past hour and a half waiting for him to come home. my tear stained face was all dried up, my makeup runny. i hear the front door open and slam shut, followed by bam’s laugh talking. i hear april scolding him to which he replied back with “i didn’t even do anything”. i laugh at his audacity, the fact that he forgot this day. his footsteps get louder as he reaches his room, swinging the door open. he stops in his tracks once he sees me, a confused look on his face.

“y/n? why are you here?”

i just looked at him, giving him a death glare.

“have you been crying?” his face fell once he noticed my makeup.

he quickly rushed inside his room, carefully closing his door.

“no shit i’ve been crying.”

he looked puzzled, confused at my outburst.

“you forgot the most important thing is our lives, bam.”

his eyebrows furrowed as he searched through his mind to what he could’ve possibly forgot. his eyes then widen when he realizes, rushing to sit next to me and grab my hands.

“baby i’m so sorry.”

“i told you this last fucking night, bam. and you still forgot! i waited for you to pick me up, bringing out the nicest dress i own!” the tears started up again.

“i’m so sorry. i-i forgot, the guys called me this morning and-“

“i really don’t wanna hear the excuses, bam. you have no fucking clue how angry i am with you!” i stand up, running a hand through my hair angrily.

“i told you i was sorry!” he argued.

“sorry doesn’t cut it, bam! this isn’t the only time you forgot shit! maybe you forgot that too, huh?”

“i can’t spend all my time with you, y/n! i’m a busy man with a job!” he yells.

“a job?! bam, you injure yourself for other people’s entertainment!”

“a job is a fucking job, y/n! i don’t see you fucking complaining when i pay for shit!”

“pay for shit?! i had to fucking pay for our last 4 fucking dates because you blew your money on a skateboard!”

at this point we were full on arguing, pretty positive that april and phil were listening.

“yeah, for my fucking job!”

he was right up in my face, his spit flying onto my face a bit.

“maybe this isn’t working out, bam.” i whisper.

“w-what?” he stepped away from me, his demeanor changing.

“you have no fucking time for me anymore. you forget our dates and anniversary, you forget i even exist.”

“i do not. baby, you mean everything to me..” he raised his hand to touch my cheek but i move away.

his eyes flutter as he began to cry, heart aching.

“act like it then, fucking show i mean everything.” i breathe out.

he stares at me before walking to his door, locking it. he turns around to face me, placing his hands on my cheeks. he wiped my tears, peppering kisses to my cheeks. i stood there and leaned into his touch. his lips met mine softly, the kiss so tender and light.

“i’m so sorry, i’ll make it up to you..” he whispered against my lips.

i shivered as his hands reach behind my back, zipping down my dress. i wrapped my arms around his neck, finger nails clawing at his shirt. he slowly let the dress fall down my body, his mouth parting open at the sight of me wearing no bra. his hands ran across my skin, making goosebumps form. i sigh at his touch, tilting my head back. he began to kiss my neck, marking my skin. he grabbed onto my boobs, kneading them. i whine at his touch, rubbing my knees together.

“we have to be quiet, okay baby?” he whispers against my neck.

i nodded since i couldn’t form any words, my mind too set on his hands. he carefully guided us to his bed, sitting me down. he pulled my dress fully off, throwing it wherever. i would’ve been mad if i wasn’t needy for him. he pried my legs open, the cold air hitting my soaked underwear. he groaned at the sight, palming himself.

“come here.” i pant.

“no no, tonight is about you, baby..” he mumbled, looking up into my eyes.

i swear i felt my knees go weak, his blue eyes staring up at me from that angle was a sight to see. i leaned back on my elbows, watching his every movement as he pulled down my underwear. he tossed them onto my bed, claiming it was “for later”. he angled himself above me, spitting directly on me. he didn’t need to honestly, i was already wet. he used his pointer and index fingers to rub between my folds, spreading me. my eyebrows furrowed with pleasure as i sighed out. he pulled his finger back up, sucking one of them clean.

“can’t wait to taste you..”

famous last words before he duck between my thighs. i let out a loud yelp, slapping a hand onto my mouth. i felt bam chuckle, the vibrations going through my body. he licked at me, slurping up my juices like he was hungry. i squeezed my thighs together, causing him to pry them apart. i grabbed onto bam’s dark brown hair, tugging at it as a way to keep myself quiet. he moans into me, loving when i do that. i grind myself against his face, feeling his nose rub my clit.

“fuck, bam…” i cry out quietly.

it was hard to keep quiet, as bam’s mouth does wonders. i let out little sighs and pants, a few moans slipping past my lips. the sounds that filled the room were lewd, the sounds of slurping and groaning coming from bam. he pulled my closer to him, my legs wrapping around his neck as a reflex. i was practically off of the bed, only being held on by bam. i glanced down at him, making immediate eye contact. he’s been watching as i wiggle underneath him, panting his name. beads of sweat trickled down my face, ruining my makeup even more but this time for a good reason. he continues eating me out, eventually shoving his ring and middle finger inside. i let out a loud moan, not caring if anyone heard. i grind down harder onto bam, practically riding his face. i start to get a bit louder, my hand once again on my mouth to keep me quiet. my body started to feel numb, buzzing with adrenaline. i moan like crazy as i feel my release coming, my thighs squeezing shut again. bam doesn’t do anything about it, letting me squeeze him to death as i cum all over. i bite down onto my hand as i cry out, letting all my juices coat his face. i slowly ride his face to ride out the high, breathing fast as i do so. he pulls away from me, bottom half of his face and his shirt all soaked from me. he gave me a drunken smile, licking his lips.

“taste so fucking good.” he wiped his face off with his fingers, licking them after.

“so gross.” i laugh, shaking my head.

“here, let me clean you up.” he pulled back onto the bed, leaving me for a second to grab a clean towel.

he wiped me up, getting everywhere from my thighs to my ass.

“i’m sorry once again, baby. we can do something tomorrow. tomorrow is only about you, no one else.” he kisses the top of my head.

“i love you, bam.”

“love you, too.” he presses a quick kiss to my lips, tasting myself.

he grabbed some of his clothes and helped me put them on, getting comfy for our sleepover.

“i’m gonna go shower real fast.”

“i’ll be waiting.” i wink.

he blushes and walks into his bathroom, leaving me alone. i sigh as i smile brightly, thinking about how a couple hours ago i was crying about this man and now he was in between my thighs making me cry out.

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mysticficti0n · 1 year ago

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Heyyy! so I was wondering if I could ask u some questions- I've seen this on others accounts and bc I literally love your writing I wanna know you better (off if you're comfortable) 💕

1- name?

2- age?

3- fave bands?

4- dress style?

5- fave food/drink?

6- when did you start writing fics?

7- any advise for new writers?

8- home country?

9- eye/hair colour?

10- who do you love reading fics about?

thank you doll 😘]from pixy

Hey Pix ! (hope your doing good girl ♡) I'd love to answer these off! -

1- B for short

2- 16 (finally)

3- omg I have too many okay- Tokio Hotel (obv) Korn, slipknot, deaftones, Limp Bizkit, Orgy, P.O.D, Linking park, SOAD, evanescence, drowning pool, kid rock, coal chamber, CKY, Pierce the vail, (Hed) P.E, Slayer, Gnarkill

4- erm it differs like streetwear meets emo y2k goth???

5- food- LOVE Pasta literally any type. Drink- either pink monster apple juice is bomb

6- when I was around 13 ish

7- be confident, sometimes your fics wont get over 10 likes and it doesn't matter just keep trying and learning from other creators (my Dm's are open to anyone if you ever want help or wanna become mutuals ♥︎)

8- England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

9- I have green/blue eyes and brown dots (thanks dad and mom) and naturally blonde but dyed it dark brown

10- omg again many- Tom ,Bill ,Gustav and Georg, Bucky barns bc the ppl that write him are DIRTY, Roger Taylor, Bam Margera, Johny Knoxville, and baso whole of Jackass

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cptnbeefheart · 1 year ago

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theyre playing livin on a thin line in bada bing ? like a lot of the other unrealistic aspects of the sopranos i can forgive this one too 👆

#imagine hearing dave davies gay voice in the strip club Oll The Stooories Have Bean Told.. Of Kings and Days of Olde.. Thes Noe England Now

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stratossphere · 2 years ago

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cheater cheater pt. 4 | j.k

you and johnny are getting better. not perfect, but better. and you know better means you just can’t stay away. (pt 1) (pt 2) (pt 3)

warnings: smut, oral (fem. receiving), a tiny hint at drunk driving, reader is a smoker, fluff :)

word count: 8.2k

a/n: the last part…

taglist: @asskickedbygirl @kristinee @lizey-thornberry @faceache111 @brandons-wife

— —

Mark it in the pages, everyone. You, Y/n Y/l/n, were having a good time for the first night in what felt like months. Things had been…slowly…getting better with Johnny, and tonight you were actually getting along.

You were out with all of the crew, as you usually were, but what made being around everyone different this time was that you and Johnny had been slowly working towards getting better, so there was no animosity to tinge the night so far. No more screaming matches, no more angry sex and horrible insults, and no more…other people. You had spent the last three weeks or so doing exactly what you’d promised to do, and it was actually going pretty well.

So yeah. Not perfect, but not bad, either. Johnny was actually somewhere else in the club everyone had agreed to meet at, and you hadn’t actually gotten to talk to him, but your last ‘date’ had ended on a good note, so you weren’t exactly worried.

In fact, you were having the time of your life with your friends.

"Jennifer Aniston!" Steve-O called out the next celebrity in your game of Bang or Rob, and then put his hand to his chest. "Bang. I met her. She's nice."

"Also met her, but rob. Do you know the kind of cash flow she's sitting on? I could buy myself a fucking mansion with that." You scoffed, sipping out of your liquor bomb drink as you spoke.

"I would bang. Blondes are like, the thing, man." Dave said, chuckling to himself as the liquor completely invaded his senses. Ryan put a hand over his heart and let out a girly hum.

"Aww, that's so sweet. I knew there was a reason God made me blond." He crooned. In that moment, your large indulgence on liquor got the better of you, and you laughed hard. What were you supposed to do? Ryan was literally the world's funniest person, and it only got worse once you stopped being sober.

However, your laughter was cut short out of surprise, because suddenly a familiar set of hands was slapping down on the table in between you and Ryan, and then Johnny Knoxville himself was leaning into them as he looked over all of us at the table.

"Sup, losers?" He said happily, a wide grin on his face as he leaned so far against the table that his head was almost level with the rest of you. “I need to talk to Y/n.”

“We’re in the middle of something. Go away.” Steve-O complained, waving Johnny off and reaching right across to drink out of your drink. You groaned and snatched the cup out of his hand before he could put his gross mouth on it, setting it over by Ryan and then starting to get out of your seat because you knew that Johnny wouldn’t give up pestering you until you followed his request.

“Be right back. We’re doing guys next.” You said, jabbing a finger at all of them before you turned to your own lovely attention-whore and dragged him away from the table. "Can I help you?"

You waited until you were sure that you were far enough away from everyone else that you knew before speaking, because you really had no idea what he was going to say. He looked unbothered, his eyes not leaving yours and his smile not faltering as your iron grip on his arm kept him in place.

"Let me buy you a drink." He offered, his smile softening a little bit as he visually tried to relax for your amusement. You paused, knowing he was just trying to get him to yourself, before nodding because one drink wouldn’t hurt.

"Fine. But only one." You warned, caving into his offer and following him towards the bar. Johnny snickered.

“Don’t get too excited.” He teased, his hand finding your lower back to guide you through groups of people to get to the club bar that was centered in the room. Once you made it to the bar, you both sat down on stools to wait for the bartender surrounded by swarms of people, and you raised an eyebrow.

“You know, you could’ve just joined our booth. You didn’t have to drag me away from everyone else.” He had a bad habit of trying to hog your attention every chance he could possibly get. He shrugged.

“They never shut the fuck up. I want you to talk to me.” God. It wasn’t like he was even trying to be subtle. You bit back amusement.

"So you miss me." You summed up, drumming your fingers against your chin where it rested in your palm as you looked at him. It was so evident in the way his eyes wouldn't leave you. When he spluttered, you shook your head and smiled just a little bit. "I don't mind if you do, PJ."

"Of course I fucking miss you. I always miss you." There it was. Just as you were going to try and respond to that with some poise, the bartender reached the both of you for your orders. He used that as his escape from the conversation.

"Rum and coke, please." Johnny gave her one of those wide smiles, and you soured at the way she winked back at him before she slowly turned to you. Johnny didn't seem to pay attention, his eyes glued to you as you ordered after him.

"Same for me." You didn’t want to make it obvious that you still didn’t like the prospect of other women flirting with Johnny, but he needed a wake up call at some point. “She your type?”

“You’re my type.” He replied easily, eyeing you pointedly as he turned completely away from where the bartender was still standing within earshot of you. You almost laughed at that, rolling your eyes.

“I don’t know if I wanna be your type.” You teased, referencing the way his flirting game was always turned up to 11. He winked at you.

"You be whatever you wanna be, babydoll. I'm just along for the ride." Yeah, he had definitely been drinking. He never said anything that douchey when he was sober. You laughed and ran a hand over your face.

"Knox. Shut up and drink." You groaned, motioning to the glass that the bartender had just slid towards him. Yours was nowhere in sight, and you could feel yourself getting irritated towards the bartender. It only got worse when you noticed pen on the napkin she slid after his drink. A phone number.

"Well, would you look at that. Maybe I'll get to find the Ville to my Y/n." He said cockily, waving his napkin at you with an instigating smirk on his face. You tensed slightly at that, because up until now he’d been in about the opposite of a joking mood about that whole situation, before biting the inside of your cheek.

"For someone who wants to make up and fix things, you sure aren't acting like it." You gave up on your attempts to skirt over your harsh feelings, instead meeting them head on with an unimpressed look on your face.

"What? You said to get over it, and when I get over things, I make jokes. And he’s a joke, so it works." And there he went, just proving your point further. You blew out a sigh, desperately wishing that you had remembered to snag your liquor bomb out of the booth before Johnny had convinced you to go to the bar. You weren't drunk enough for his bitterness.

"Stop." You said tightly just as the bartender slid your drink forward, taking a large sip of your drink to soften what could’ve been quickly turning into a fight.

“I’m kidding. Swear. I’ll stop.” Johnny said then, wiggling his eyebrows at you over the rim of his glass as he took a sip two times bigger than yours.

"That’s hilarious. I almost laughed that time.” You muttered, rolling your eyes as you watched him drink. He was clearly having a ball messing with you, and you were trying to will yourself to relax. “Glad you’re having so much fun.”

“You should be having fun, too.” He scoffed, and then you felt yourself jump a little bit when you felt his hand on your knee. Self control. Self control. Self control. “I know a few ways you could have some fun.”

“Yeah? Pray tell.” You tried to look unimpressed, but you found your eyes pulling strongly in the direction of his hand on your knee. It only got worse when his fingers started to skate higher.

“It might be a little…unsavory for where we’re at.” He said coyly, his eyes finding yours with a smirk pulling hard at his lips. You bit your tongue.

"I don't know. Sometimes I allow it. With certain people." You said offhandedly. Goddamnit. Your so called 'iron-resolve' was fucking pathetic. One genuine smile from him and you were ready to spread your legs open for him all over again. There went being patient.

"Well then you’re really gonna like what I’ve got." Just as the bartender leaned over the bar to check on you both, Johnny dipped his head towards you, his teeth finding the sensitive skin of your neck and sinking in softly. "Let me take you to the bathroom."

"PJ. Nuh uh." You pushed his head away from your neck, laughing like an idiot as you were met with lust-filled eyes. You ignored the bartender's sour look in favor of gazing curiously at him. "You seriously want to?"

"I need you, Y/n." He breathed, his hand finding my hip as his head dipped down lower so that you barely had any space between the two of you. You took one look at his parted lips and dilated pupils, then nodded in agreement. One step back was fine if it was two steps forward, right?

"Okay, let's go." You took his hand, abandoning your drinks on the bar-top as you pulled him along towards where you could see the bathrooms on the wall of the club. "Don’t tell anyone about this, okay?”

“No one fucking cares anyway.” Johnny brushed your worries off, pushing the single stall women’s bathroom open and quickly pulling the door shut behind you.

"I don't know..." You mumbled as he closed the door behind you, the twinge of guilt building up into your chest as his arms wrapped tightly around your waist. He swayed you, lips dipping back to your neck right over the spot where he had bit not two minutes earlier. "Someone definitely saw us come in here."

"Y/n." He broke away from your neck, gently taking your face in both hands and holding your gaze strongly. "You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Who cares what those assholes have to say about it, alright?"

Sometimes, in moments like these, the moments that had made you so angry at him before didn’t seem so bad. He could be so sweet. His reassuring words, his soft touches, everything. You sometimes wanted them permanently without consequence so badly.

"Okay." You took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down and pull back into the moment you were currently in. Not exactly a completely romantic one, but one that appealed to you nonetheless. "Sorry."

"Don't say sorry. Just let me give you what you deserve." He said softly, his hand moving to push your hands apart where you were nervously picking at your nail beds. You looked up at him, smiling softly when you realized that you were just being stupid. Trying to hold standards that didn't exist just because you were tipsy.

His hands gently fell to your hips as he pulled you closer to him, his eyes calm and relaxed as he leaned down and kissed you softly. Familiar taste and familiar smell enveloped you, and you fisted your hands in the front of his Budweiser shirt to get him as close to you as he could go.

"You want me?" He broke your kiss to breathe softly into your ear, his wandering hands finding purchase in the back pockets of the Dickies that you had stolen from him once a long time ago and then had just never given back. You let out a shaky sigh.

"Fuck. Yeah." It felt like you were openly admitting it to yourself at that moment. You had thought that you’d be able to forget what it felt like to have Johnny's hands all over every inch of your body, but you were just lying to yourself. You could never forget, because nothing could ever compare.

"Good." He started on the belt that was holding your (his) pants up, his breath shaking in his throat as your hands slid under the hem of his shirt to touch his warm skin with your cold fingertips.

"Not in the bathroom—" You began when he suddenly dropped down to his knees on the ground in front of you once he had gotten your belt out of the loops, wincing at the thought of how dirty the bathroom floor probably was. The pants immediately sagged low on your hips without the assistance of your belt, and he tutted.

"Yes in the bathroom. I need it." He was half demanding and half pleading with you as he loosely hooked his fingers in the waist of your pants and pulled them the rest of the way down your legs. He then raised his eyebrows and slowly looked up to you after getting a look at the lacy thong you were wearing. "You planning on gettin' fucked or something?"

"Something like that." You said breathlessly as he took the fabric of your underwear between his teeth; that cheeky, shit-eating grin on his face as he began to slowly pull them down your thighs. "Okay, showboat. Quit fucking drawing it out."

"Feisty." He quickly used his hand to pull your thong the rest of the way off, and you frowned momentarily when you noticed that he was shoving the thin material into his back pocket. Before you could open your mouth again to voice a complaint, however, his hand was coaxing one of your legs over his shoulder, and then his mouth was on your clit with wide, open-mouthed tonguing kisses.

"Oh, fuck." You were no longer consciously aware of the fact that you were trying to remain subtle, and your head fell back as your fingers laced their way into his hair. "Fuck, PJ."

He hummed, his hand pushing you closer as he swiped his tongue through your pussy over and over again, a sucking sound coming rhythmically from the movements of his tongue. He had a hand splayed out over your thigh, and your hand unconsciously fell down to his, his fingers lacing together with yours so that he was holding your hand while he sucked on your clit.

Way to keep a distance.

You knew you were probably pulling on his hair a little too hard, and you could hear the whimpers and gasps that came from his mouth even with it being occupied, but every swipe of his tongue over your already-sensitive clit had sharp spikes of pleasure shooting through your stomach, and you couldn't help yourself. If you were making a mistake, might as well make the most of it.

"Fuck, I love your pussy. Could eat this all fuckin' night." Johnny gasped in a momentary break for air, his hand squeezing yours even tighter as he gazed happily up at you with shining lips.

"Keep going. Please." You said breathlessly, feeling unsteady and dizzy with the absence of his touch. He really did have you whipped. You could feel a whine building in your throat seconds before he was pressing his mouth back in your pussy, satiating the need that was threatening to consume you and pulling a high moan from your lips.

The sight of Johnny's head between your legs in the bathroom mirror was only pushing you further, and you could feel your orgasm threatening to hit you as you arched your back even further back against the counter while you applied pressure to his head with the hand in his hair.

"Don't stop." You gasped as if you would've been able to pry him away if you’d tried, rolling your hips up towards his mouth. His free hand moved to keep your hips in place, and then with a few harsh flicks of his tongue you were cumming, head dropping back as you let out a sound that was way too loud to be kept within the confines of the small bathroom.

As always, Johnny didn't stop licking and sucking until you were forcibly pushing his head from your pussy, overworked and overstimulated as you pulled a shaky leg from his shoulder. Reality then came crashing in on you over what you had just let him do and where you had let him do it, and the only thing in the room to soothe you was the pleased, fucked-out look on Johnny's face as he wiped his mouth.

"God, you look so fuckin' gorgeous." He breathed as his cheek fell to your thigh, his hand still partially holding you up as you took big, heavy gasps of air into your lungs in an attempt to ground yourself. A brisque smile fell onto your lips momentarily, just long enough to indulge him. However, he seemed to catch on to your hesitancy, and suddenly he was standing up. His mouth was so close to yours that you could practically smell what he had just been doing.

"Look at me." The demand in his voice made your heart jump, and despite the sudden pull of his fingers on your chin, your eyes raised to his slowly. He stared directly at you. "Open your mouth."

It wasn't a familiar request, but the strength of his voice and your craving for his attention after being touched so carefully coaxed you into doing as he asked, eyes slightly uncertain as you stuck your tongue out a little. And then, in a moment that you knew was going to be ingrained into your brain for the foreseeable future, he spat right into your mouth.

"You taste your fucking pussy on my breath?" The look in his eyes demanded a response, and you slowly nodded, swallowing down his spit with your free hand bunching in the hem of his t-shirt. He leaned in even closer. "That's the only place you should be tasting it. You're fucking me, you understand?"

Words could not describe the dizzy pleasure rushing through your brain at the harsh tone of his voice. He could've said anything and you still would've been nodding along like you were now. He pressed his lips to yours, tongue barely swiping into your mouth before he was breaking away.

"Good. Now get dressed and come back out." And then that fucker slipped right out of the bathroom, leaving you pants-less and in shock as you stared at the door he had closed behind himself.

"Fucking Knoxville." You muttered to yourself, shaking your head to clear your thoughts a little bit as you picked up your pants. And now you had agreed to only fuck him. Awesome.

—

That was the last thing Johnny had said to you not ten minutes before, and ever since then, you’d been trying your best to avoid him. You didn’t know how you felt about the things he’d said to you throughout the night, and you definitely weren't sure about the fact that you were feeling a lot more partial to him than you had been a week ago.

Unfortunately for you, if you let Johnny Knoxville put his hand in your pants, there was a good chance he was going to follow you around like a lovesick puppy with attachment issues until you forcibly kicked him away. Which is why, while you were trying to both listen to and tell stories with Dave at the club couch that you had moved to sit on, Johnny was basically up your ass.

First it started with him purposely acknowledging Pontius' invite for conversation right behind you so that he could not-so-inconspicuously rest his hand right behind your head on the back of the couch, which Dave noticed just as fast as you did and sent you a look that was both judgmental and amused. Then it escalated when Johnny sat down directly next to you.

"PJ." You spoke in a warning tone as his arm knocked into yours, and you felt a deep shoot of irritation run through you when he completely ignored you and continued to animatedly talk to Pontius about the long, drawn-out way that he had come up with the stunt that you were all currently in the process of getting set up for in LA.

"You guys are still broken up, aren't you?" Dave didn't sound sure of himself as he asked, and you rolled your eyes. Not everyone in the crew knew that you and Johnny were still…doing what you were doing, although you were sure some of your friends had begun to suspect you. Thankfully you had gotten better at hiding it, and this time you hadn't even left any hickeys on each other.

"Yep. And yet here he is." You grumbled, nodding your head to the side in Johnny's direction. Usually this kind of up-close-and-personal behavior would signify that Johnny had been through a few too many tequila shots, but you knew that there were other reasons behind his clinginess tonight. "He's trying to get fucking attention."

"Doesn't he have a girlfriend?" Once again, Dave did not sound sure of himself on how much that really mattered. If only he knew the half of it. You pursed your lips, taking a long sip of your drink and pondering whether you had enough energy to get up and move.

"Apparently not anymore." It had been three weeks since Johnny had broken up with Mandy. Three long weeks of getting over some of the biggest fights of your lives and slowly repairing the relationship that had been tinged by the never ending drama during your breakup. "He probably fucking annoyed her into leaving like he's doing right now."

Annoyed her in one way, alright.

"Y/n, you are one of my best friends, and I love spending time with you, but I need to be like, four more drinks in before I start listening to this shit." After a second of pause, Dave spoke honestly to you, and although you really didn't want him to leave you with an overly-clingy Johnny, which he was currently getting up to do, you couldn't help but laugh.

"Fine. But take Pontius with you so that I can ream his ass into leaving me alone." You spoke a little quieter then just in case Johnny could hear you over his own rambling, motioning over to where Pontius was kneeled right on the edge of the long couch by him. "And grab me a beer, too."

Just like you thought, as soon as Johnny didn't have Chris' attention anymore, he was immediately stretching his arm over the back of the couch so that it was mere inches from being wrapped around your shoulders before he was turning in your direction. He was met by your bitter glare, which he took in head-on.

"What's wrong with you?" There was no snark in his tone, but you could tell that the allusion was there. You couldn't exactly blame him, because you knew perfectly well that you looked miserable, but god be damned if you weren't going to blame him anyway. You weren't quite done being mad at him, after all.

"Do you have to sit right next to me? You're touching me." You complained, shooting a dirty look at the lack of space between you. He didn't move, which didn't surprise you at all, just let a hint of a grin ghost his lips.

"Did you get rid of everyone on purpose, or are you just scaring people away with that look on your face?" He retorted, raising his eyebrows in question over the rims of his JK monikered sunglasses. You just stared at him, trying to hold yourself back from snapping something back.

"Getting me a drink and being scared off are two different things. Just like making conversation and pestering." You were speaking pointedly, and you made sure that he could tell by the look on your face. He blew his breath out in an almost-whistle, shaking his head.

"You wanna make conversation? I'll make conversation." You could tell that you were starting to get to him, and you had to bite back a grin at the fact. Usually he was pretty easy-going, and your attitude did nothing if not encourage him more, but today he was evidently off his game. He wasn’t quite done being mad at you, either. Baby steps. "You wanna hear the story I was telling Chris?"

"Hell n—"

"It actually involves you. So you know how you learned how to do that move where you kick someone and knock them out just in case we did a bit on it?" Great. It involved you. That was always nice. When you gave up on ignoring him and just nodded along, he continued. "I wanted all the guys to get that done to them to see who takes it best, but I know you're busy tomorrow so I found a different chick that can do the same thing. You know, because it's funnier to have a bunch of guys get knocked out by a girl."

"Why are you setting up before the actual day if it's not a set stunt?" You could get knocked out anywhere in the world. You didn't need a set for that. You knew you were just digging yourself into a hole by asking questions, as he would definitely answer by tenfold, but you were kind of in a tough position considering he was about three inches away from you. And you weren't completely against the fact that you could smell the scent of his sweet cologne due to how close he was to you.

"Because I want them to fall off a ledge and onto a catch bag when they go down." He said it like it was obvious. Sometimes you wondered if something was a little not right in his head. "God, I wish you could be there tomorrow. You could've done those cinematic falling shots. You know, you could always just—"

"Don't ask me to come in. It’s my one day off." You had been working non-stop for close to two months now, and you were starting to get a little burnt out. It also didn’t help that you knew you’d be deathly hungover by the time morning came. Plus, he didn't really care about your falling shots. He just wanted you to be there so that you were the one doing the kicking.

"Even if I did come in, I wouldn't get any shots, because you'd want me to kick."

"You just look so much better on camera." You were supposed to be ‘gently leading back into things’, but he could say things like that. He was just full of good stuff tonight. You raised an eyebrow, shaking your head.

"Funny." You were refraining from making any comments on that. He seemed to be in too much of a good mood for things to genuinely bother him, but you didn't want to chance it. You were honestly enjoying his company (for once) too much to ruin it.

"What? Your face is cinematically pleasing." He protested, reaching out to pat your knee with a satisfied look at his own compliment. You snorted.

"Cinematically pleasing. That's an interesting compliment." You muttered, grinning despite your best intentions. He really was funny, whether on purpose or not. "PJ, you don't care about being cinematically pleasing. You just want it to look like it hurts."

"But I care about you caring about it." He insisted. You then noticed that he had never taken his hand off of your knee after he'd first touched it, and you silently wondered if he was even talking to you past trying to get in your pants for the second time in an hour. "You know, we should really buy you one of those fancy still shot cameras. You take great fuckin' pictures. I think you’re even better than Kosick."

"You're being real nice. I thought you were mad at me." You said softly. His hand hadn't moved up any further, but you knew it wanted to. Especially because he was pointing out things that he never even made a point to mention before.

"Can’t be mad at you when you look as good as you do, dollface." As he said that, you scoffed with a badly-suppressed grin, because he was really something else, but he clearly was oblivious, because he continued to talk. "Anyway, I think the next stunt we're gonna set up is—"

Dave and Pontius never came back. Which meant, in turn, you were left with the babbling wonder for the unforeseeable future, during which he didn't shut up for more than a breath before continuing into whatever asinine topic he could think of next. The only time he'd left you alone was to get up and get the both of you more drinks, but he'd been back with a bottle of vodka before you could make an escape.

By the time you could see your friends progressing into drunk, doing-stupid-things territory, it felt like your mind was melting. You and Johnny were still sitting on the couch, but you were now turned sideways so that you were facing him directly with your legs crossed and your face resting in both hands as you stared dead-ahead in his general direction. You were starting to think that you were going to have to toughen up and escape for home. You weren’t sure you were going to be able to deal with this any longer.

"...and I didn't hate it, per se, but I didn't really like it, either. I mean, it was better with you, but I haven't done it since." He was now on the topic of acid since he'd seen someone selling it in the corner of the club, and he was telling you things you already knew. Like he said, you’d seen him on acid a few times. "Did I ever tell you about the time that I thought you were coming to kill me when we took acid?"

Alright. Enough.

"PJ. Honey." You took the one of his hands that wasn't holding the vodka bottle in yours, evidently startling him out of continuing his story as his gaze steadied on yours. You shook your head. "No more stories."

"Oh, Jesus. I've been talkin' your ear off." He seemed to suddenly realize how long you’d been sitting there and how much more crowded it had gotten since you’d arrived pretty early in the night. You nodded slowly, stifling a yawn.

"I gotta hand it to you. You really know how to keep me from getting out of control in your own, special way." You muttered, leaning your head to the side so that you could rest it against the back of the couch. "And you don't have to tell me about when you thought I was going to kill you when you were on acid. I remember when that happened. You freaked out and rolled yourself out of bed."

"Why didn't you tell me to shut up sooner?" He asked, as if the thought of him rambling until you died actually bothered him. You let go of his hand, reaching into the pocket of your sweatshirt until you found your cigarettes and lighter before pulling them out.

"I was waiting for Dave to come back with my beer." That was a lie, and he knew it, but it was easier than admitting that you liked the sound of his voice. You let smoke pour out of your nose as you lit your cigarette with your head still resting against the couch, looking up at him with tipsy interest. He tsked, reaching out and brushing his thumb over your cheek.

"I tired you out, didn't I?" He asked, speaking softer now as your eyes closed slightly to his touch. Too much vodka and not enough self control.

"Yep." You mumbled, leaning your face completely into his palm and letting out a soft sigh. You could've fallen asleep right there if you’d put some effort in.

"You gonna go home?" He sounded slightly dejected, and you felt your heart ache. Maybe you wouldn't leave alone. Maybe. His hand was still on your cheek, and he was wearing one of your favorite shirts on him.

"Yep." You said again, taking your cigarette out of your mouth and lifting your head up off the couch to look him seriously in the eyes. "I'll take you home with me if you kiss me."

Okay. Zero self control. But he’d been sweet lately, and you felt good about tonight. His lips parted slightly in surprise, and then he was grinning.

"Oh, that's what we're doing now?" He chuckled, his eyes slowly moving down and then dragging back up in a look that was close to eating you alive. He then leaned in, the hand on your cheek moving to grip your chin before he was pressing an open-mouthed kiss to your lips. It was a lot sloppier than you were anticipating, but you’d both been pretty stringent with kissing up until then, so it was barely a second before you were reciprocating with equal effort.

Making out in the middle of a crowded club when it was pretty common knowledge that you weren't together probably wasn't the smartest idea, but honestly, who gave a fuck. If no one was ever going to pull you aside and be real like good friends were supposed to when you were making bad decisions, then you were just going to keep making them in the form of your all time favorite bad decision. Whose name happened to start with a J. And who was slowly working towards turning himself into a…neutral decision.

"Whew. Straight vodka." He said as he broke away from the kiss, making a face. Clearly his tongue in your mouth had betrayed how much you’d been drinking throughout his night of storytelling, and you winced apologetically.

"Yeah. I think I drank too much." You admitted, looking down towards his spit-shined lips another time and then grinning in guilt when you saw that he was watching you. "Way too much."

"Well, now I guess I have to go back to your place, huh? Make sure you don't asphyxiate." He crooned, holding out a hand for you as he started to stand up. You snickered, getting on your feet and then immediately feeling the liquor hit you as you swayed violently. Never drink sitting down.

"Thanks, Knoxville. No hidden intentions there, I'm sure." You raised your eyebrows suspiciously at him, and he feigned an offended look as he extended his arm for you to hold onto with most of your weight.

"Knoxville? You were callin' me PJ a minute ago!" He protested as he basically held you up while you walked, holding one of your hands while you used the other one to take another drag off of your cigarette and shrugged.

"That's your name." You said through smoke, giving Dave a huge grin and a thumbs up as you passed him at the bar with Pontius and Bam. He threw a hand in the air, and you just made a kissing face before he was too far behind you for him to see you anymore. Bam looked even less impressed.

"Not with you, it's not." Johnny was clearly trying to pull you faster so that you’d stop making faces at your friends, and you leaned into his shoulder and groaned at the quickened pace. Your drunk stumbling was no match for his long strides.

"Okay, PJ." You rolled your eyes, almost dropping your cigarette when Johnny reached his arm around your shoulder with his hand still holding yours to pull you away from running into someone. You blinked when your head spun. "Whew. Why did you pick vodka?"

"You like vodka. Clearly." He explained, glancing to the side to give you a pointed look. You chuckled at that, knowing that was about the truest reason he could've given. Vodka and any other liquor, especially liquor bombs, were usually a horrible mix that had you hating your life for at least a day an a half, so you were already on a path towards destruction.

You didn't know if Johnny was even sober enough to drive, but you weren't sober enough to care, so you trailed right along after him until you were getting into his car, which was sloppily parked on the curb to the left of the club. You hadn't gotten a chance to say goodbye to anyone that you had come to the club with in the first place, which you knew you were going to get shit for when you came back to work in a few days, but you couldn't be bothered considering Johnny had been literally holding your hand with his arm around your shoulders.

"I love sleepovers." You hummed as he helped you into the passenger side, blowing him a kiss and silently wishing that he had brought the bottle of vodka with him.

"Yeah, that's all it's gonna be, Y/n/n. You are plastered." Johnny said seriously, reaching across you to buckle your seatbelt and then taking your cigarette butt from you and huffing in a small drag before tossing it into the road. You pouted.

"Then we have to at least snuggle.” When had you ever had a sense of pride and self-respect, anyway? He raised his eyebrows.

"You know, if you keep all of this up, I'm gonna forget some rules that we've been following, sweetheart." He hummed softly, giving you a pointed look before shutting your door and not giving you a chance to respond. You made a face as you watched him walk around to the driver's side, drunkenly wondering when the hell you had ever been ones to follow rules.

"I'm just drunk, Peej. Let me live my life." You groaned once he opened his door, leaning your head against the shoulder of his bucket seat and blinking slowly at him. He turned the car on, giving you an I'm well aware look before resting his arm next to you on the console and taking your hand again.

"Oh believe me, honey. I'm all for you living your life."

The drive home felt like forever. You were getting tired, but at the same time you wanted to keep the party going once you got back to your apartment. You couldn’t help but picture the sight of Johnny in your bed the entire ride, running your thumb over the top of his hand as you did so whilst staring intently out the windshield.

When you finally pulled into your parking lot, you had realized that there was no way you had enough energy to keep any type of party going. Too much vodka and a long work day had sucked everything out of you. Not to mention Johnny sucking a lot out of you in the club bathroom to add onto everything.

By the time you both got into your apartment, you were ready to just give up and collapse on the first surface that was comfortable enough for sleep. However, you didn't get the option, because Johnny had a grip on you that kept you on your feet and off the floor that was looking more and more comfortable by the second.

"I'm not ready to go to bed yet." You whined when he tried to lead you towards the stairs that would lead up to where your room was. You had spotted your living room, and suddenly you were picturing your makeout session at the club. He let out a disgruntled sigh, pausing and looking around before motioning to the couch.

"Whaddya want? To sit down?" He asked, looking down as you wrapped your arms around his waist and rested your cheek against his chest. Drunk you was definitely going to want to kick your own ass in the morning. Especially because Johnny had the innate ability to remember all of what you had been doing the morning after.

"Mhm." You wanted to kiss him. If he hadn't been too tall for you to kiss him without pulling him down you would've, but you settled instead for letting him gently help you down so that you were sitting on the couch before you pulled him down next to you. You really needed to quit drinking. "We could sleep down here."

"Y/n, I already told you, we–"

"Just kissing!" You begged before he could tell you once again that you had rules to follow or whatever. He tongued the inside of his cheek, looking down at you with a spark in his eyes that you had a feeling was amusement. It only got worse when you pulled yourself closer to him, one leg half over his and your hand fisted in his shirt. He raised an eyebrow at you.

"What the hell's gotten into you?" He mumbled as your free hand came up to cup his cheek, his eyes having a hard time making it past your lips by that point. It was still dark in your apartment due to the fact that you had neglected to turn any lights on other than the stove light that was always on, but you could still see the look on his face. You smiled coyly.

"I miss you. A lot. All the time." Yep. You were definitely going to want to kick your own ass in the morning. Usually this happened the other way around, and Johnny was the one drunkenly admitting how much he missed you. And usually you were the one saying–

"No you don't." Johnny's eyes were soft as he spoke, and you couldn't detect the hint of bitterness in his tone that you usually could hear whenever he spoke to you.

“I do. I was trying to keep it a secret.” You mumbled, moving your hand up to cup his cheek. It only took a second of his love-drunk look trained in your direction before you leaned forwards and closed the gap, pulling him in more by the collar of his shirt as your lips met.

It was a lot sloppier this time than before, as you were drunk and Johnny liked it sloppy, so your hands were in his hair before long as you got closer and closer to him with every push of your tongues together.

One of his hands moved to your hip under the hem of your shirt while the other one stayed on your back to keep you from leaning back too far, and you could feel your entire body heating up as you pulled on his hair slightly. You’d been doing your best to keep space between you as of late as a way to actually work on your relationship, and despite all of your best inhibitions, you had really missed this much intimacy with him. He was letting you touch him more than he had in over a month (and vice versa), and he just smelled so good. You really had no self control when it came to Johnny.

"Slow down." He broke your kiss, giving you a look as he pulled your hand away from where it had been starting to push under his shirt and towards the buckle of his belt. Always ruining your plans. "You are really persistent, sweetheart. You know that?"

"I just wanna be closer to you." You pouted, looking at him with helpless eyes and saliva-coated lips as he wiped his own mouth off with his thumb. He let out a sigh, that relaxed grin coming back onto his face as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders and slowly guided you into his side. Exactly what you wanted.

"I know. I'm right here." He reassured you, running a hand over your hair and then pressing a kiss to the top of your head. Despite what people (yourself included) wanted to say about Johnny being immature and a little too carefree, he really did do a good job of taking care of you when you were drunk. You got really touchy when you’d had too much to drink, and he never complained. It probably had something to do with the fact that he was about ten times worse, but still. You appreciated what he was doing now as opposed to being dumped in your bed and left with a bucket like the rest of your friends would do.

"You're like, the best. I wish you could sleep over every night like you used to." You babbled against his shoulder, tracing your finger over the pattern of his shirt. He rubbed his hand up and down your arm, resting his cheek against your head.

"You'd get sick of me." He reasoned, watching the way you laced your fingers together with his where you’d dragged his free hand into your lap. You shook your head adamantly, looking back up to give him your most serious look before you kissed him again. And again. And again.

"No I won't. Stay here forever." You encouraged, nuzzling your face into his neck and then squeezing his hand before yawning. "I think I'm ready for bed."

"I'll carry you." He sighed, beginning to shift out of your steel grasp so that he could actually get off of the couch to pick you up. You didn't want to let him go, but you made the effort, forcing yourself to let him pull his hand away before opening your arms to him once he was standing.

You were then carried up the stairs and right into your room, Johnny taking the trip without a single problem in the pitch darkness due to how many times he had done it in the past.

He then helped you get undressed before you attempted (and failed) to do the same for him, ending up with you already curled up in bed while Johnny slowly stripped out of his clothes in the soft hue of the salt lamp you had left on due to being late for work that morning.

When he finally got into bed (and on his past pre-determined side, no less), you immediately enveloped yourself in him again, resting your head on his pillow with your arm thrown over his side as he wrapped both arms around you.

"Can I tell you something?" You asked after a little while of silence, tilting your head upwards slightly so that you could see his face. He let out a long sigh.

"Yes." He didn’t sound excited, but you were grateful that he was indulging you regardless. You paused for a second to gather your thoughts as you ran a finger up and down the muscles of his arm.

"I’m ready to be done. With waiting." You’d been ‘taking things slow’ for what felt like forever now, and you’d had enough of long talks and trying to put your feelings on a trial period. “I really miss you. And this.”

There was a king beat of silence before Johnny responded.

"Are you sure? I’ll wait as long as you want me to, sweetheart." He said quietly, kissing your cheek gently as he massaged your hip. You took a second before nodding to prove to him that you were actually using your brain to think and not just the alcohol level of your blood.

"I’m sure. I want you, and I want to be where we were." Every day that you had spent slowing yourself down and thinking out everything between you had been torture. Necessary, but torture. You had barely let yourself touch him at all, and it had been something that you would forever crave like the air you needed to breathe. “I trust you, PJ. And I still love you just as much as I did.”

Another beat of silence, and then Johnny was turning to basically wrap you in a bear hug with his weight half on top of you.

“God, I’ve been waiting for you to say that for so fuckin’ long. I’ve been done waitin’ for weeks.” He said happily, his voice a mumble against your neck as he let out a breath that sounded like he’d been holding it. “I love you. I never wanna lose you again.”

You were losing the battle to try to stay awake, and his body heat wasn't making it much better, but you wrapped your arms just as tightly around him, running your fingers through his flattened hair. A sense of peace that you had been unable to achieve over the turmoil that had been going back and forth between you for what had seemed like forever had slowly fallen over you, and you couldn’t help the full smile forming on your face.

"I'm glad you came back with me."

"Me too, baby." He sounded more content than you had heard from him in months, and you hugged him a little tighter. As long as you had him in your arms, you didn't care about anything. And it didn’t seem like you were going to have to worry about losing him again.

#johnny knoxville #johnny knoxville smut #johnny knoxville x reader #johnny knoxville fic #jackass #jackass movie #jackass mtv #jackass imagine #dave england #ryan dunn #steve o #bam margera #chris pontius

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sluggggish · 6 months ago

Text

imagine if we had Ranger Dave and Danger Ehren

A 22 year old Dave England in Mack Dawg Productions' Pocahontas

#we truly missed out #imagine what we could've had !!!#dave england #jackass #ehren mcghehey

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knoxvillesjackass · 2 years ago

Note

You mentioned in the no nut November smut with johnny, possibly doing a reversed one where the reader is dared to do it? Love your stories, and I hope you keep writing! ❣

your tables were easy to turn - j.k

quite smutty, btw!

this is bad, dont come for me. i tried to write this and then rewrite it over such a long time, so that's why. it is the first chapter in probably a longer series. i'll see what happens! hope they will be better, though!

You and Johnny had anything but an average sex life. In fact, it was probably way above average. You craved each other all the time, and you made no effort at trying to hide it from anyone.

Not from friends or even the general public. Some couples found the whole public display of affection uncomfortable. You were definitely not one of them.

But the Jackass crew, they’d seen just about everything, if not too much of everything.

Every now and then, you and Johnny would disappear and no one questioned where you'd gone, or what you were doing. You were fucking, and you were willing to do it whenever and wherever.

“Honestly PJ, your ideas are sick,” you remarked through heavy breaths as Johnny mindlessly moved his lips against your neck, teeth grazing the sensitive skin.

He didn’t answer you, but merely grabbed your ass and hoisted you onto the small table, lips still attached to your neck.

“Try to be quiet, yeah?” Johnny reminded you for the fourth time since the two of you had snuck into a small storage room on set. You were usually claustrophobic, and the barely two square meters room would’ve, in any other situation, sent you straight into a panic attack, but when Johnny had started touching and grabbing you all over, you’d had other things to worry about.

Johnny reached down and pulled his boxers out, his erect and needy cock springing out. You smiled excitedly and wrapped your legs tightly around Johnny’s waist, bringing him in even closer than before.

He snuck his hand down between your legs and managed to pull your panties to the side, despite the room being as dark as it was.

You let out a loud, high-pitched squeal when Johnny slid his index finger into your soaked cunt. He shot you a warning look and grumbled, reminding you to be quiet again.

He worked his finger in and out of you, making sure that you were wet and ready for his cock. You whined impatiently, even though you knew that Johnny was doing it for your good. So that you could enjoy the whole of his cock without pain or any discomfort.

Unfortunately, because of the limited space, serious foreplay wasn’t really an option, so Johnny brought his hand to his mouth and you watched as he licked his fingers and brought them back to your cunt, lubricating it fully.

He brought the tip of his cock to your soaked opening and gazed into your eyes. “Ready?” Johnny whispered and you nodded eagerly and smiled, preparing yourself by grabbing his shoulders tightly.

Johnny's hand went to cover your mouth the second he pushed his cock into you, knowing all too well that you couldn’t bite a moan back, even if your life depended on it.

Johnny was pushing inside of you at an animalistic pace, his whole length filling you up completely.

Johnny removed his hand for a short second to rearrange your legs, and already, you were a moaning, whimpering mess.

“Fuck-Ah!” You yelled out when Johnny hit that sweet spot. He quickly slapped his palm over your mouth once again and shushed you. “I told you to be quiet!” He hissed under his breath and pumped recklessly in and out of you.

“I-I-I can’t,” you managed to mutter under his hand, tears streaming down your face, due to the indescribable pleasure of Johnny’s cock.

“Bite my shoulder,” Johnny whispered and you gazed at him, confused. "Either that or my hand's going back over your mouth; you decide," Johnny grumbled. His hand over your mouth barely allowed you to breathe, so you did as he'd told you and bit down on his clothed shoulder. Your nails were clawing into his back, and you sniffled softly against him.

As his thrusts got sloppier but deeper, you could feel an orgasm forming, slowly and powerfully.

“I-I’m gonna c-“

“Jesus Christ!”

Johnny instinctively threw himself over you completely to shield your naked body from whoever had just interrupted him blowing your back out.

“Get the fuck out of here!” Johnny bellowed, still inside of you as turned his head to spot Steve-O in the doorway, shaking his head and chuckling.

“Could you two just try to keep it in your pants for two fucking seconds?” Steve-O asked angrily and dispersed, slamming the door roughly.

Johnny had stopped his movements, but your hips buckled against his in an attempt to get him to move again, but he pulled out of you, and it caused a loud, displeased whine to leave your lips.

“Johnny!” You hissed as he started putting his clothes on angrily, his eyes focused on the door.

"Johnny, you cannot be serious! I was this clo-"

"We'll continue later," Johnny shut you down, seemingly pissed off as he headed towards the door.

“Where are you going?” You yelped and jumped down from the table.

“Just put on your clothes!” He ordered you and headed out of the storage room, leaving you all alone after slamming the door.

You could hear a commotion in the break room, and when you entered it, Johnny and Steve-O were staring at each other intensely, eyebrows furrowed and all.

“How about you don’t just fucking barge in?” Johnny asked angrily, to which Steve-O rolled his eyes and sighed.

“It’s a workplace, dumbass! None of us wants to see you guys going at it every day!” Steve-O exclaimed. You placed a hand on Johnny's bicep and squeezed it. He looked at you shortly, shaking his head.

“We’ve only just started shooting and you guys are already fucking in the storage room?” Steve-O huffed. “You literally cannot keep your hands off each other, it’s gross.”

For some reason, that comment got under your skin a bit more and you took a step forward.

You were an adult, who could absolutely control herself, and you could prove it too.

“Bet.”

Johnny stiffened up at your word and jerked his head back.

He knew how competitive you could be, and compared with Steve-O’s inability to lose, this could only end badly.

“What are we betting?” Johnny asked. He already knew, but he wished to be proven wrong.

“Okay, fine,” Steve-O perked up a bit, loving the idea of a challenge, where the odds were 100% in his favour. “One month, no touching,” Steve-O smirked.

“Absolutely fucking not,” Johnny sneered and grabbed your arm, trying to pull you away from the conversation.

“A month is too long. Two weeks,” you negotiated, yanking your arm from Johnny's tight grip. Steve-O shrugged and nodded.

“Fucking hold up,” Johnny paused and pinched your arm to make you look at him.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He hissed quietly and passed Steve-O an angry glare.

“I can do three weeks, but when I say no touching, I mean; no touching,” Steve-O smirked.

Now, you understood. This man was really pushing your buttons.

“Fine,” you agreed and narrowed your eyes at him.

“But, if we make it three weeks, you’re never going to bother us again about fucking again, ever.”

Steve-O paused and considered what he would be giving up if you managed to pull off the bet.

“Fine, but if I win, you can’t fuck here, or while I’m even in a mile’s radius of you.”

There was a wicked look in Steve-O’s eyes. If he won, he’d no doubt be ruthless and unfair.

There was a whole lot at stake. But the chance of being able to do whatever you wanted with Johnny, wherever you wanted, without Steve-O’s commentary was too good to pass up.

“Deal.”

“Oh, so I don’t get a say in it? Cool, 'cause this obviously doesn’t affect me at all,” Johnny chimed in, clearly agitated.

“Okay, but how nice would it be if he couldn’t say shit about us,” you quirked an eyebrow at Johnny and he sighed, running a hand through his hair, ultimately shaking his head in dissent.

"We're not doing this sh-"

Steve-O interrupted Johnny with a grin and looked at his watch. “Alright, it’s 13:20. Time starts now. Good luck,” he jibed and walked away, leaving you and Johnny in the break room.

You could clearly sense, that he was angry at you, and you understood why, but your competitiveness seemed to overtake any feelings of remorse, guilt and regret.

You looked at Johnny and bit your lip, well aware that you'd messed up badly. He crossed his arms and breathed out heavily.

"Do you have any idea about what you've just done?" Johnny asked you, and a cheeky smile formed upon your lips. "I don't find this funny at all, Y/N."

Your smile quickly disappeared and you frowned at Johnny's genuine disappointment.

“I think you should head home,” he spoke. This was not a question or a nice suggestion, it was an order.

You frowned and watched as Johnny spun on his heels and left you with an awful sense of guilt.

Johnny stared at you from across the dinner table, exasperated, his arms crossed over his broad chest.

You sipped your wine and raised your eyebrow at him.

"Don't you think you've had enough wine?" Johnny asked and followed the wine glass with his stare as you placed it back down on the table.

"Why are you still so pissed off? Chill out," you hiccupped and scoffed.

"Why? Are you seriously asking me why?” Johnny hissed and bit his cheek. You nodded and leaned forward.

"What the fuck happened to listen to each other, Y/N? I'm so pissed at you right now," Johnny growled as you stared down at your plate of food.

It had to have been the 100th time that day, that Johnny was having a go at you.

He'd been scolding you from the moment he'd arrived home from work. You'd grown numb to his outbursts, slightly starting to feel that the man deserved to not get any sex from you with that temper of his. Besides, he didn't need to scold you, because you already felt awful.

But were you going to give up and let Steve-O win? Fuck no.

Johnny couldn't take the silence for much longer. He twitched and fiddled around in his chair, before eventually slamming his palm into the dining table.

"I have to be on set with that asshole every day for the next four months, Y/N! You fucking ganged up on me with Steve-O?"

Steve-O had been enjoying the rest of the work day by regularly passing Johnny mocking grins and asking how you were doing.

“I think we should make a list,” you suggested and Johnny stopped chewing on his lamb chop and looked at you with a raised eyebrow.

“What?” He asked and stared at you, bitter and indeed confused.

You reached down into your bag and ripped a page out of your notebook and grabbed a pen. "You know, of things, we can't or shouldn't do. Just to make this easier," you shrugged.

You were convinced, that your confidence would come to bite you in the ass later on, but at that moment, you were doing just fine.

"I don't think, that we should sleep in the same bed," you said casually but jumped when Johnny protested with a loud yelp.

He stared at you bewildered and shook his head at your proposal.

"I'm just saying; it'll be easier if we don't sleep in the same bed. That way, we won't get tempted by anything," you explained and ignored Johnny's rolling eyes.

"Do you not see how fucking ridiculous this is? We're a couple, Y/N! Couples have sex, so why are you suddenly insistent on not letting me touch you for three weeks?" Johnny asked, so frustrated that he just couldn't sit for another second. He stood up and paced back and forth.

You were starting to get irritated with Johnny. Yes, you fucked up, badly, but your man was force-feeding you with guilt trips and self-pity, and it had made you feel slightly less guilty about the whole thing.

"Grow up, Johnny! It's three weeks. You'll survive," you sassed and wrote down sleeping in opposite beds as the first thing on your list.

"This is fucking ridiculous," he hissed and you stared at him. "No, Johnny; you're fucking ridiculous," you snapped. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to the bar with Penny. I don't know when I'll be home," you hissed, hearing Penny's car out front.

"You're not going anywhere until we've figured this out, Y/N!" Johnny exclaimed. You grabbed your purse and headed for the door. "Come and catch me then," you said sarcastically and closed the door behind you.

You told your friend all about the bet, who seemed to find it as amusing as Steve-O. You needed a break from Johnny and his understandable, but annoying, pissy attitude.

You drank and then drank a little more. Maybe a little too much, but you were having fun. You weren't exactly excited to return home though, but you hoped that Johnny would be fast asleep.

Penny dropped you off after a few hours at the bar. You had a wine bottle in your hand, half-drunken.

The lights were still on in the house. How fantastic.

You entered the house and immediately, you could hear the sound of the shower going. You took a sip of the wine bottle in your hand and walked to the bathroom, opened the door and entered into the steamy room.

Usually, you would be in there with him, back against the wall as he'd mercilessly pound you into submission. Tonight was, by your own fault, different.

A hiccup from you made Johnny turn off the shower and he peeked out to see your drunken state. He sighed and shook his head.

"For fuck's sake, Y/N," he groaned and walked out of the shower, naked and glistening like some Greek god.

You licked your lips as your eyes travelled down his body. He wrapped a towel around his waist, and it made you snap your eyes up to meet his.

"You know how many fucking times I tried to call?" Johnny asked you and grabbed the wine bottle in your hand, placing it out of your reach, You whined at crossed your arms.

"My phone died," you said. That was a lie. You'd just decided, that you didn't wanna deal with Johnny's bullshit while you were having fun.

"How did you get home?" He asked you. "Penny drove me," you responded.

He looked so good, it was almost painful. The bet hadn't even crossed your mind when you decided to wrap your arms around his naked upper body, placing soft kisses on his chest. Your hand moved down to unwrap the towel from his waist.

"Y/N, you're drunk," Johnny said and unwrapped your arms from his body. "So what?" You whined and began to lower yourself and fumble with Johnny’s towel.

He really wanted to, but he couldn't bring himself to have sex with you while you were that drunk. Johnny pulled you up by your arms and shook his head like a disapproving father while handing you your toothbrush.

"You'll thank me tomorrow," he commented. You shrugged, too tired to think of what that could've meant.

You brushed your teeth drunkenly and stripped yourself of your clothes.

You walked into the bedroom and watched as Johnny removed his pillow from the bed and began to exit the room.

"What are you doing?" You asked confused. He stopped in his tracks and turned around. "You wanted us to sleep separately, remember?" Johnny asked.

You didn't have a recollection of ever saying that. "I would never say that," you huffed.

Johnny chuckled. "If you say so," he sighed and placed his pillow back on the bed and laid down.

He closed his eyes and turned off his bedside light, but you kept standing, arms crossed.

"Jooohnnyyy," you whined and he hummed in response.

You sat down on the bed and leaned over Johnny, planting kisses on his neck and down his shoulder, but you didn't reach very far before he shook you off. "Stop, Y/N," he groaned tiredly.

"But, Johnny," you whimpered. "No, Y/N," he tiredly groaned and grabbed your arm, softly forcing you to lay down beside him, your back against his chest, his embrace keeping you locked in.

“Noo,” you whined, squirming in his grip, your ass grinding against his crotch, unintentionally.

The whole night was spent with you waking up occasionally, trying to twist yourself out of Johnny's embrace because you either wanted to drink more or because you were incredibly horny.

Eventually, you just gave up and slept through the night.

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