#johnny knoxville ff

[asskickedbygirl]

Hello I have jealous Knoxville brain rot and I was wondering if you could write a Knoxville x fem!reader where the reader is bams best friend and they grew up skating together attached at the hip but Johnny is fully into the reader and she’s into Johnny (he does not see this) but he thinks she and bam are going to date because everyone thinks they would make the perfect couple. It can take whatever direction you would prefer from there I just would die for some pining jealous Knox 😭

Going Up

[Johnny Knoxville x F!Reader]

Desc: Anon covered it but I made it smutty! As in elevator sex smutty...

A/n: need to put eyeliner on johnny rn. also I'm trying to do something different in all of my smuts so they don’t get boring or repetitive to write so lmk if you like it!! comments and reblogs make my day fr <3

Warnings: smut (18+), p in v, public sex (sort of), alcohol

3.4k words

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Bam and you were fucking around on your boards, doing stupid tricks and just wasting time until you were called to set. You always thought it was stupid that your call times were so early when you were never really needed until the afternoon at least. Nonetheless you showed up, bored and hungover. 

“Fuck I’ve almost got it.” You bitched, irritated that you couldn’t succeed in the easiest tricks when your head was throbbing from the night before. Bam laughed, 

“Yeah, sure you do.” This earned him a prompt thump on the arm from your fist, your teeth grinding. 

“Shut up, dickhead.” He still laughed, only holding the site of injury this time. He looked up behind you and raised his eyebrows. You spun around to see who he was looking at only to see Johnny Knoxville staring over at the two of you, quickly shifting his gaze once you spotted him, pretending he wasn’t looking. 

“Hmmm.” Bam hmmmed. 

“What?” You asked, skating in circles around him. 

“He’s got the hots for you.” 

You rolled your eyes, “You think everyone’s got the hots for me.” 

“Because they do!” 

You scoffed, “Your ego for me is bigger than my own. No one even asks me out anymore.” 

“That’s ‘cause they think we’re dating.” 

You pouted in contemplation. “I guess. Well why won’t you date me then?!” You brought your arms around Bam’s neck in mockery as you skated past him, laughing as he attempted to shoo you off. You planted a sloppy kiss on his cheek like a drunken aunt. 

“You’re gross. You’re like my sister, freak.” You giggled as Bam attempted to wipe your spit off his face, arms still wrapped around him.

Johnny swallowed thickly as he observed you acting all coupley with Bam, sipping the crappy cup of coffee he got from the catering table when Ryan wandered over to him and looked to see what he was gawking at. He sighed, 

“You know they’re not dating, right?” Johnny was snapped out of his daze upon hearing his voice. 

He cleared his throat, “What? Oh, uh. Yeah.” He scratched the back of his head, feeling caught. He bit his lip, looking back over to you, his heart beating a little faster the wider you smiled. 

“She probably likes you dude. There’s not many women that don’t.” Johnny took another sip from his styrofoam cup, eyes still on you, shrugging. Ry just shook his head, chuckling under his breath. He patted Johnny reassuringly on his shoulder and walked away, leaving him to yearn a little longer. You glanced up to see Johnnys eyes still drinking you in. You smiled and waved at him jokingly, causing his cheeks to flush as he hobbled off. Maybe he does have the hots for you after all.

“She probably likes you dude. There’s not many women that don’t.” Johnny took another sip from his styrofoam cup, eyes still on you, shrugging. Ry just shook his head, chuckling under his breath. He patted Johnny reassuringly on his shoulder and walked away, leaving him to yearn a little longer. You glanced up to see Johnnys eyes still drinking you in. You smiled and waved at him jokingly, causing his cheeks to flush as he hobbled off. Maybe he does have the hots for you after all.

A few days later you were in your hotel room applying your makeup, ready to go hit the bars after filming on location in New York. Bam and you were sharing, not the same bed but still, it didn’t help the rumours. You carefully lined your lips with liner as Bam lay on his bed staring at the ceiling, bored out of his tree waiting on you. 

“The bars are gonna be fucking closed by the time we leave.” You rolled your eyes, rubbing your lips together and tousling your hair. 

“It’s not even eleven yet. We’re gonna be early freak.” Bam pushed himself off the mattress,

 “Fuck this, I’m leaving with Ryan it’s too late to be this sober.” 

He grabbed his jacket and key card and swung the door open only to be met with a tall figure, hand raised and ready to knock. 

“Johnny.” Bam spoke, leading you to snap your head to take a look at the supposed man at your door. 

“Hey.” The often confident man’s voice wavered awkwardly, as if he had been caught in a trap. Bam leaned back to look at you, then back to Johnny, smiling like an idiot.

 “I was about to head with Ryan, you can come if you want or uh…” Bam raised his brows suggestively, something you didn’t spot. Johnny cleared his throat and swallowed thickly, contemplating for a moment whether or not he wanted to let it out that he’d rather stay with you. 

“I can stay with her while she gets ready. Bring you down if you want.” He called out to you, biting the bullet. You flicked your hair away from your face, grinning, 

“Sure. I’ll be ready in a minute anyways.” Bam shrugged and left the two of you to it, Johnny stumbling in and seating himself on the edge of your bed, observing you through the mirror as you smudged some more eyeliner in your waterline.

“That looks like it hurts. Is it not going into your eye?!” Johnny gritted his teeth together while you giggled. 

“I’m used to it. Here let me put some on you.” You held the eyeliner pencil between your fingers and turned to face him though his hands were already raised up, refusing.

“Oh come on! It doesn’t hurt and you can wash it off if you really hate it!” You flashed your best puppy dog eyes which ultimately worked as he simply couldn’t say no to you when you looked like that. He rolled his eyes as you grinned, moving closer to him. His breath hitched as your knees brushed against his, hands holding himself up as he leaned back slightly, eyes peering up at you. You took your bottom lip between your teeth in concentration and rested your hand against his cheek, Johnny swallowing right after. You used your thumb to pull his eye down just a tad, enough to see his waterline and went right in to apply it, accidentally poking him straight in the eye. 

“Ow!” The jabbed exclaimed, pulling away from you and holding his hand over his eye dramatically. 

You rolled you eyes. “Alright sorry. It was only a poke! C’mere it didn’t even get in your waterline.” Johnny was about to protest but felt he couldn’t once you pulled his face forward again forcefully, tongue poking out of your mouth as you concentrated on the task at hand.

He looked up to the ceiling and pretended the situation wasn’t incredibly uncomfortable as your raised leg kneeled on his lap in order to get the job done, face so close to his own as you tediously worked on coating his under eyes with black eyeliner. He couldn’t help but let his eyes drift to take you in, somehow you looked even more beautiful when you were in concentration. Your eyes met his and you smiled with your brows knitted together, a little unsure on why he was gawking once again. Well not really unsure, you were fairly sure. As you got back to it, Johnny posed a question,

“So you do this with Bam a lot huh?” You rolled your eyes at the insinuation of it. 

“Well yeah, ever since he saw Ville with it he begs me to do it all the time. He fucks it up whenever he tries to put it on himself.” You pulled the pencil away to admire your work as the first eye seemed done. 

“Looks good.” You smile, Johnny trying to move his head to take a look in the mirror but your hand pulling his face away. 

“Not yet. Lemme do the other one.” You repeated your movements of pulling his eye down slightly with your thumb to do the next one, brows knitted together.

Johnny looked up to you, sunken eyes boring into your face. 

“So you and Bam huh?” You scoffed, that was a sentence you heard practically everyday. 

“No. Not me and Bam. How long have I known you at this stage?!” 

Johnny smiled. “I dunno. You’re sharing a hotel room so.” His southern voice drawled. You continued penciling in the makeup. 

“Different beds idiot. MTV’s budget must be tight this year.” 

Johnny bit his lip. “So there’s nothing going on there.” 

You shook your head, “Nothing.” That’s when you finished the job, pulling away to admire your work. 

“Not bad huh?” This time you allowed Johnny to look at himself, standing up to get closer to the mirror. 

“Christ I look ridiculous.” 

You laughed, “No you don’t! This is so in right now.” You folded your arms and came up to the mirror as well to look at his face through the reflection. 

“Yeah it’s in for twenty year olds. I’m old remember?” 

You rolled your eyes. “You’re only like nine years older than me.”

Johnny flashed you a ‘careful’ look, but you smiled it off. He looked fucking hot if you were being honest, and that little crush you had on him was coming back in full force. You bit your lip as you and Johnny stared at each other for a little too long until he bustled off to the bathroom to attempt to scrub the liner off. His efforts were almost futile, a faint black still present in his waterline. 

“That’s hot! No, seriously it looks good like that.” Johnny sighed as he realised he’d have to go out with a trace of makeup on his face. 

“Are girls gonna think I’m gay?” 

You laughed, shaking your head. “Well you’ll have me on your arm so, hopefully not.” Johnny raised his brow at you but you ignored him, grabbing your purse, ready to hit the bars.

The bar everyone was meeting at was busy and bustling, a live band playing. You and Johnny arrived together of course and hit the bar immediately to get some drinks, already far too sober compared to the likes of Chris and Steve-o. You sat together in slightly close quarters, chatting amongst yourselves. You were enjoying his company, he smelled nice and the more you drank the more flirty you got. You had already punched Steve-o square in the arm when he made a dumb comment about Johnny’s ‘new look’ and an hour later his arm was draped over you. That was until Bam stumbled over to you all, clearly very drunk. 

“You have to come dance with me. Now!” He reached out and grabbed your hand, forcing you up and away from your arm candy. 

“Hey!” You called out but Bam was already pulling you onto the dance floor, hands grabbing your waist to dance with you.

You reluctantly pulled your arms up around Bam’s shoulders. Sure you loved to dance but when you did with Bam and you were drunk, the rumours were only set ablaze. You tried to catch Johnnys eyes as you swung your hips, only seeing him grit his teeth and practically glare at Bam. Was he… jealous? You looked at your dance partner who was too inebriated to have any sort of spatial awareness, simply blindly moving you around. Out of the corner of your eye you spotted an attractive looking girl dancing by herself and so you hatched a plan. As Johnny continued to glare you pushed Bam off of you and practically shoved him towards the other girl. 

“This is Bam!” You called out to her and she looked rather thrilled, must’ve been a fan. 

As the new couple began to dance once more you strutted over towards Johnny who was now looking at you like a deer in the headlights.

“Come on. You wanna dance with me right? Well dance with me now!” You slipped your hand in his and pulled him up, dragging him behind you as you set off for the floor. 

Johnny was in slight shock, his hands finding their way to your waist in a daze as you brought your arms around his neck, moving your hips with the beat. You looked up to Johnny and flashed a smug grin, 

“Were you jealous Knoxville?” 

Johnny blushed, laughing and shaking his head.

“So what if I was?”

You smiled even wider, taking Johnny’s hand from your waist and moving it down to cup your ass.

“You don’t need to be.” 

You chewed your lip as his hands felt you up on the dance floor, not caring that people might see your skirt riding up and exposing your ass. Johnny looked especially attractive as he appeared almost flustered, cheeks burning red and eyes blown out. As the music changed you moved yourself around so your back was pressed against his chest, letting his arms drape around you and push you closer to him, feeling the outline of his dick press into your ass. You grinded to the beat of the loud music, feeling his breath on your neck and his stubble grazing your skin. It felt almost too intimate right there in the middle of all the bodies, sweaty and drunk, but god did you want him. You placed your hand over Johnny’s as it pressed into your stomach to hold you there and turned around so you could whisper in his ear,

“Wanna get out of here?” 

Johnny only nodded, allowing you to lead him away from the crowds and out of the bar towards your hotel. Boy were you glad it was so close by as the desperation was radiating off of your hot bodies, clammy hands holding each other as you made your way through the streets, no talking necessary. 

You both smiled politely at the receptionists as you wandered inside the hotel, trying to act as if you weren’t as desperate as you’d ever been, silently praying no stranger would join you in the elevator on your way up. Alas you were left alone, standing side by side as the doors shut. One second later Johnny flipped himself around and slammed his lips onto yours, forcing his leg between yours so they were parted and making out with you roughly. Your hands flew up to hold his face, letting out quiet whimpers as he took you with such force. His hands were already roaming over your body, fisting the fabric of the back of your skirt in his hand and pulling it up. If you didn’t know him any better you’d think he was about to fuck you in the elevator.

That’s when you felt it jolt, stopping on whatever floor you were on. You opened your eyes and pulled away from Johnny’s mouth in a panic, thinking something had broken but instead you were met with his hand over the emergency stop button, manical grin on his face. You covered your mouth with your hand, half shocked but entirely bemused.

“Are you serious?!” You laughed, completely bewildered.

“Couldn’t wait any longer.” is all he said, immediately diving back in to kiss you once more.

As your skirt had already been pushed up over your ass, in fact bunched up around your waist, Johnny’s fingers were smoothly tucked into the band of your panties, waiting for the moment he could finally pull them down. He took the opportunity as soon as your hand reached down to palm him over his pants, pushing your body against the wall of the elevator at the same time. You let out a groan as you frantically unbuckled his pants, him eventually giving in and shoving them down to pool around his ankles instead. 

After some more hot and heavy making out, you felt Johnny’s hard cock press into the inside of your thigh and so you took matters into your own hands, freeing the member and urging him to fuck you against the cool metal walls of the box. You moaned as he entered you, his stubbly chin grazing your neck and lips kissing the skin tenderly as he began bucking his hips forward. He dug his thumbs into the skin of your waist to hold you still, your arms wrapping around his neck to brace yourself the faster he went. 

Johnny’s grunts and your whimpers echoed around the elevator, it even jolted slightly with every thrust and it almost felt surreal that heart throb Johnny Knoxville was fucking you in a hotel elevator. You hid your girlish grin in the crook of his neck, kissing and sucking on it all the while. 

“You think Bam could fuck me like this?” You whispered into his ear.

Sure it was evil but god did you love provoking the men that fucked you, it just makes everything more fun. Johnny laughed, more of a ‘fuck you’ sort of chuckle but he laughed nonetheless.

“You gonna talk about Bam while I’m balls deep inside of you?”

Johnny pulled his lips away from your neck to look you in the eye, yours as blown out as his. You grinned playfully.

“Well this means you don’t have to be jealous anymore. Your eyeliners fucking hot by the way” 

Johnny laughed.

“Shut up.”

He continued to fuck you hard, his thrusts only increasing in pace and his moans only getting louder along with yours. It wasn’t long until he got you to that familiar place, head leaning back against the wall as you were worked to the edge.

“Fuck I’m gonna come.” You managed to get out between pants, holding onto your breath as you felt the sensation creep forward. 

Johnny continued his relentless pace until you came hurtling down, the wave of pleasure washing over you and making your legs shake. The feeling of you tightening around Johnny made his breath hitch as you brought him closer to the edge.

“Can I come inside you baby?” 

You nodded, head still reeling from your orgasm. Johnny gripped your hips tightly, pushing even further into you as he came with a loud groan into your neck, the hot breath sending shivers down your spine.

The two of you remained in the same place, panting and fucked out, sweat dripping from your foreheads. Johnny’s head was still buried in the crook of your neck.

“You alright there?” You laughed, poking his cheek.

He pulled away grinning.

“That’s the hottest thing I’ve ever done.” 

You both laughed until Johnny kissed you again, your heads all foggy.

“You know we can do this again once we’re out of this elevator right?” You pulled away once his kisses got more needy, practically ready for round two already when his dick was growing soft inside you. 

He laughed as he pulled out of you, the sensation making you wince slightly. 

“Sorry.” He murmured, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

He bent down to help pull your panties back up and smooth your skirt out after buckling up his own pants. He fixed himself up a little more before pressing the emergency stop button once again as well as another button.

“Shit.” He muttered. 

“What?!”

Johnny bared his teeth.

“I accidentally pressed the reception floor.” 

You rolled your eyes and scoffed.

“Christ I hope those poor workers don’t see us again.” 

Just as you attempted to fix up your hair the doors opened to reveal none other than Bam Margera himself, arm sleazily hung over the same girl you threw him at on the dance floor. You and Johnny must’ve looked like a deer in headlights right then but Bam was far too drunk and oblivious to notice just yet.

“Oh hey guys!” He grinned, entering with his new chick, her hand dragging over his chest.

“Weird the elevator wasn’t working for a minute. What were you guys doing already in here, I thought you left like thirty minutes ago?” Bam asked but his face dropped once it dawned on him.

He observed the pair of you, your makeup all messed up with tangled hair, skirt all wrinkled and Johnny with his messy hair and lipstick stains coating his neck and collar. 

“Oh.” 

“Let’s not.” You interjected before Bam could say anything that would make your skin crawl. 

The rest of the elevator ride was painfully awkward and silent, even Bam’s girl noticing the horrible tension. Once you finally reached your floor after what felt like forever Bam spoke up.

“So uhh... can we take our room or do you want to-” 

“Take our room.” You sputtered, leaving the damn elevator as soon as possible and darting towards Knoxville’s room, desperate to escape. 

End.

@gnarkillknoxville @jackussy420 @spoookyberry @steve-osahottie @izzaaaaaa @lovexjoe @jackassvivalabam03 @kristinee

[sunnyie-eve]

1 | Welcome to Jackass

Series: Uttermost Lifestyle

Paring: Johnny Knoxville x Original female character

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: None

| MASTERLIST |

"Hey you could be part of doing pranks in public. You don't have to seriously hurt yourself. It's a job that pays better than this shitty restaurant you work at." Chris tells me as I was on my lunch break.

"Are they even gonna want a female as part of the cast?" I ask laughing thinking it's stupid.

"I can talk to them about it. Come on, what does a show of a bunch of fucking idiots need? A smart hot babe." Chris says making stare at him. "I mean it in a good way. Come on, Lex. If I can get them to agree, will you?" He grabs my hands.

"Chris, I can't. Kyle is pissing me off. Then I have to help Caiden out with school." I explain to him.

"Fuck Kyle. And can't your parents help out with Cades?" Chris asks in a whiny tone.

"They're out of state at the moment for my brothers wedding. I wasn't invited and I don't wanna talk about it." I make sure he doesn't ask questions.

"Then my parents will help out with him. They watched him when you came over all the time. Please for me." I knew he wasn't gonna drop it anytime soon.

"Fine, if they agree. Now I gotta get back to work." I leave the table to clock back in.

After work I wait outside on my apartment balcony waiting for Caiden to get off the school bus. As I was waiting I get a phone call. "Hello?" I answer it.

"Hello, is this Alexandria Miller?" The man asks me.

"That's me. How can I help you?" I ask seeing the bus coming into view.

"I'm Jeff Tremaine, and your friend Chris Pontius said us adding you to the show would be a great idea. He says you're a pretty good actor for pranks to be believable and funny. We were thinking of having a test run with you too see what you got. Is tomorrow afternoon good for you?" He asks and tells me all the stuff.

"Yeah, it's good for me." I let him know.

"Okay, great. Can't wait to meet you." He hangs up the phone as Caiden comes into the apartment.

"How was school?" I put my phone away.

"Kyle showed up at school trying to pick me up early. They were going to call you, but I told them your job makes you turn off your phone. And I left my book with the restaurant number here by accident." He puts his bag on the couch.

"That son of a... Hey, tomorrow I have to drop you off at Chris's parents house. I have a new job interview tomorrow afternoon." I let him know.

"Cool, I like hanging out with them. What's the new job?" He asks turning on the tv.

"It's for a show on MTV, Chris is trying to get me on with him."

"What show?!" He gets excited.

"Jackass." I go to the kitchen to start dinner.

"I heard about that because Justin's dad. It would be so cool if your were on tv." He gets off the couch sitting at the bar.

"Well hopefully tomorrow goes well."

~

"Caiden, hurry up. We have to drop you off at my parents so your mother can get a job!" Chris shouts for him as he gets things together for the day.

"I'm almost done!" Caiden yells from his room.

"Can I?" Chris looks at me.

"Go ahead." I wave for him off while I open the front door.

"CHRIS! You know I hate this!" Caiden yells as Chris runs out of his room carrying him over his shoulder.

"You know what happens when you take too long." Chris runs out the door with him so I lock the door behind us.

When we drop Caiden off I thank Chris's parents and they said it was no trouble. The whole ride to wherever Chris was taking me, I was nervous bouncing my knee up and down.

"Don't worry, Lex. You'll do great." Chris pats my knee.

Chris and I have been friends since elementary, even through he was the biggest idiot, he's always been there for me. Especially when I got pregnant in high school because my shitty ex boyfriend took advantage of me. Chris and his parents helped me raise Caiden whenever my parents weren't helping me.

"We're here. Since it's a public prank we're meeting in this parking lot." Chris laughs so I just nod my head.

"You must be Alexandria." A guy smiles as Chris and I walk up to him and a few other guys.

"That's me. Nice to meet you all." I give them a smile trying not to be nervous. They all introduced themselves to me and it seemed like half of the cast was here.

"Okay, so we have a little skit but we wanna see how much you can improv without actually knowing the skit." Jeff tells me.

"So free ball it and go along with whoever. I can do that." I nod my head and we high five.

"Let's go for a walk honey." Johnny grabs my hand leading the way to a crowded place.

"Can I have a small hint?" I ask with a small smile.

"I'm your new boyfriend and your crazy ex shows up while I go to the bathroom." He gives me a wink.

"I can work with that. Especially the crazy ex." I laugh swinging our arms.

Once we get to a busy small restaurant with people sitting outside, we stop and take a seat at an empty table.

"What can I start you two off to drink?" The waitress comes up to us.

"He'll take a water and I'll take a sweet tea." I speak for the both of us.

"I love when you know what I want." Johnny take a hold of my hand as the waitress leaves. "I have to use the bathroom. I'll be right back. Love you." He stand up kissing the top of my head before heading inside.

I look around and see a older couple so I turn to them. "It's our one year anniversary to day." I smile at them.

"That's sweet. I remember our one year." The lady smiles at her husband as Chris takes Johnny's seat.

"Who the fuck was that?" He asks pisses off.

"Why the fuck are you following me?" I turn to face him.

"You didn't answer me!" He slams his hands down making people look at us.

"I don't have to because we aren't together! You need to leave." I point away.

"Fuck you. You're gonna regret this." He stands up taking the water out of the waitress hand throwing it at me before storming off.

"Are you okay?" People around me start to ask as I make myself cry.

"Just my crazy ex." I wipe my tears away.

A van pulls up and Bam and Ryan jump out running over to me grabbing me by the arms and legs. I start to scream and fight as they rush to throw me in the van before anyone can grab them.

"Hey!" Johnny comes running out.

"I told her she would regret it!" Chris yells at him in the driver seat.

When we see some pull out those phone to call the police that's when the crew tells everyone it was just a prank for the show.

"You almost bit me fighting back." Bam makes me laugh.

"I had to make it believable. And you asshole, throwing that drink at me." I glare at Chris making him laugh.

"I made sure to grab the water." He wraps his arm around my shoulder.

"Your a good actress making yourself cry." Jeff tells me.

"Told you. That's how most of our life she got what she wanted. Always made herself cry and I fell for it every time." Chris kisses my cheek.

"I wanna do something." I get an idea.

"What do you have in mind?" Johnny asks crossing his arms.

"I need to make a fake baby and someone who will hit me with a car." I smile.

"I'll do it!" Chris throws his arm up.

"Are you sure?" Jeff and Johnny asks me.

"Do you know how rough big brothers, especially when one didn't want a little sister? I can handle hurting myself."

"If you insist." Jeff says so I get things to wrap my jacket around making it look like a baby was swaddled up.

"I won't hit you too hard." Chris pats the top of my head.

"Thanks make sure the passenger door is unlocked so I can hope in because you're my ride picking me up." I smile at him.

"Did the 13 year old in you come back?" He laughs.

"Maybe see you at the crosswalk." I walk off.

"Good luck!" The guys shout out to me.

Once I get to the busy corner I pull out my phone pretending to call Chris. "Where are you? I gotta get home to put the baby to sleep? Wait a minute." I move the phone slightly. "Excuse me, do you know the name of this street?" I ask a woman and she tells me so I say it to my phone. "Okay, great. Bye." I put phone away and as I see our car I walk out into the street.

Chris bumps me putting the breaks on so I throw myself onto the hood then roll off holding my baby as people around scream and rush to me.

"I'm okay, the baby's okay." I groan as a man helps me up. "What the fuck dude?!" I shout at Chris walking around to the passenger side.

"You said this street." He sticks his head out.

"You're an idiot." I get in the car and we drive off leaving everyone who rushed to help confused.

When we all group up again the guys give me I high five. "How did it look?" I ask rubbing my thigh.

"Fucking amazing." Johnny high fives me again.

"Gonna use both for the show so I guess that means you got the job." Jeff says making Chris pick me up.

"I told you!!!"

"I didn't take you as a girl who would throw herself onto a car then fall onto the street." Bam walks up to me.

"Should have seen how she acted when we were 13. She was super crazy. Sprain both wrist trying to do a dumb trick on a skateboard." Chris tells him.

"Skateboard? You can ride a skateboard?" Bam looks at me.

"Is that surprising news for you? Let me guess... I don't look like they type of girl?"

"Yeah..."

"Well I can." I laugh.

"And super well too." Chris adds.

"Hey Alex, Welcome to Jackass!" Johnny shouts.

[thepeachyouhadtopick]

why am I so drawn to two men with an absolutely dreadful collection of tattoos? Johnny Knoxville and now seeing Chris Evans' newer tattoos properly.....ick. they all suck so bad!

[imaginesbymonika]

The Invisible Man

Pairing: Johnny Knoxville x Reader

Plot: Y/N and Johnny’s daughter suddenly talks about an imaginary friend of hers that sounds a bit too familiar to her parents.

Warnings: None

"John?", Y/N asks and her husband turns around in his chair, he watches her stand in the doorframe. A nervous expression covers her features, one he promptly mirrors. "What's wrong?", he asks and furrows his eyebrows in skepticism.

She swallows thickly before she turns her head left and right, as if she was checking out if someone was eavesdropping then she steps into Johnny's office. She shuts the door behind her slowly and quietly. After taking one last deep breath, Y/N glances at him.

“Daisy is talking about him again."

She doesn’t have to say anything else, Johnny's nervous smile drops as soon as the sentence abandons her lips: "Are you sure?"

"Oh yeah. And... and it's like getting weirder and weirder."

"What do you mean it’s getting weirder?", he inquires and she notices how a specific amount of terror flashes up in his eyes.

"Well, for starters he apparently convinced her that time is a social construct.", the y/h/c woman clarifies and watches how Johnny's eyes widen slightly.

"Oh god.", he mumbles.

A few months ago, their four-year-old daughter had started talking about an imaginary friend of hers. Which initially wasn't a weird thing, children were having them all the time. Y/N was often talking to other parents about that kind of stuff, and they were telling her about their children's make-believe ‘friends’.

For example, Daisy’s classmate Joline was having tea parties with a seven feet tall flamingo. Who had four legs and a British accent. Y/N recalls how her mother was turning a dark shade of red in the beginning, appearing somewhat ashamed about her daughter's ‘friend’.

"I'm sorry.", she said, running her hand through her hair before making a quick hand motion to brush it off: "You must think I am deranged." But the other mother just smiled and shook her head: "No, I would never judge your daughter for something like that.”

Compared to Daisy’s made-up friend that flamingo sounded like the fluffy dream of any parent. Because Daisy’s invisible playmate happens to be a middle-aged man who is missing a tooth.

"And then.", Daisy said and looked at her parents with enthusiasm in her little green eyes. "I'm scared to ask.", Johnny muttered through gritted teeth, while still smiling at his daughter. "What, honey. What did he do?"

"He puked into the teacup and then he drank it all up again!", at this point their daughter was a giggling mess. Meanwhile, Y/N and Johnny just stared at her in shock and confusion.

"She just spends too much time around you guys.", Johnny explains while he looks around:” You cannot come over ever again.”

It is Chris' birthday and the long-time friends are all sitting around the campfire.

"Am I the only - wait, I have never met her before.", Dave says and Jason who sits next to him wrinkles his forehead. "Really? How did you manage to do that … We are virtually always drinking at Johnny's place."

Weeman scoffs while a smile plays on his lips: "Maybe it's just a reminder, that she's your daughter, Johnny."

Chris who walks out of the bungalow and up to his friends takes a sip of his beer: "What are you guys talking about?"

"Daisy's imaginary friend."; Johnny explains and shakes his head before he goes on: "The worst thing about the whole thing is, she swears he's not even imaginary. She says that he is a real person."

"Does he have a name?"

"It's a secret, Papa.", Johnny says in a high-pitched voice, mimicking his precious little girl:” He comes and he goes.” At that his friends all laugh.

A few minutes later the doorbell goes off and Chris stands up again before he disappears into the building.

“Perhaps Daisy is seeing a ghost.”, Steveo lets out and everyone (except Dave) grumbles:” What?!”

Dave nods his head:” Steveo’s right, children notice things we can’t. They-.” “Stop it.”, Johnny cuts his friend off with a sharp hand gesture:” My child is not able to see spirits! You’re being ridiculous.”

“Dad!”, a loud voice exclaims, and when the men turn their heads they watch how Daisy walks through the sliding doors into the garden. Y/N and Chris are close behind.

But then she abruptly stops walking. For a few minutes, she just stares at the men.

Her eyes widen.

Y/N and Johnny exchange a nervous look. “Maybe she’s seeing the ghost again.”, Steveo whispers, and Johnny shushes him. Her small hand raises and her finger points towards the group.

Then a huge smile emerges on her lips.

“FRIEND!”, she shouts and her finger lands on Dave.

A suffocating silence falls upon the group. “Wha-What?!”, Dave asks and swallows thickly, before he turns around to look behind. Only to discover that Daisy was unquestionably pointing at him.

“You’re my daughter's imaginary friend?!”

——

“I have never met her before.”, Dave tells, an irritated expression is covering his face while Daisy has her arms around his torso. She is pushing her face directly into his abdomen, while she continues to say the word ‘friend’ over and over again. “Could you please stop doing that?” But the young girl just giggles at his request.

“I mean.”, Johnny starts and glances at Y/N:” He does fit the description. He is missing a tooth. And he is a middle-aged man. But do you think he’d puke into a teacup?”

“ I just don’t understand it. If he argues they never met then how- oh my god.” She puts her hand in front of her mouth before she looks back at Dave. The poor guy is sweating, and his hands are shaking slightly, while he struggles to gently push Daisy away. But her small hands are gripping onto his shirt for dear life.

Dave perks up and when he makes eye contact with Y/N all color drains off his face:” What? What’s wrong?”

“Darf!”, she merely says and Johnny runs a hand down his face before he bursts into laughter. “Daisy has been speaking about Darf this whole time!”

“I’m so happy she didn’t make those things up.”, Y/N lets out and lets out a pleased sigh followed by a chuckle:” Oh my god.”

“That’s it.”, Dave announces and slowly runs a hand down his face:”I’m never ever drinking again.”

[knoxvillestinyhat]

It’s up now, heavy smut so if you’re not in to that please look away. 

[emilysshortstories]

So I’ve been having a jackass phase again, how would y’all feel about a Ryan x Johnny x reader smut 👀👀

[chemicallady]

I swear, it's not a prank

Couple: Johnny Knoxville x younger reader

Category: Funny and Fluffy as a Golden Retriever puppy

Content Warning: nah, just age gap. I apologise because is not gender neutral. I'm not a native speaker and in my language (italian) there's no way to use neutral on people. I'm studying in order to be able to write gender neutral fic in the near future!

Summary: during an interview with his old friend Conan, Johnny is asked to answer some questions about you, his new girlfriend who also is a famous musician and actress. The deal? A significant age gap. Even if you're a grow ass woman, you look younger than your age and everyone knows that you are a Jackass' fan since your teens.

•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇

The audience is still laughing at Knox, when Conan tries to call it out, moving is hand in the air like he is trying to catch a fly. 《 As far as I know, not everything went smoothly for you on the set, right? That's quite the routine but this time it was more serious. You took a pretty awfull hit because of that bull.》

Johnny is nodding while he starts to answer. 《 That was really gnarly. The worse hit I have ever taken. It caused me a broke rib, broken wrist, a bad concussion with brain bleeding....》

《 That sounds bad, let me tell you this. I was speechless while I was watching that bit. Did you full recovered from that?》

《 Now I'm healthier than I used to be. But it took a while, that's true.》 Knox hates to turn down the atmosphere, but there is no chance to tell this story sounding funny. 《 I lost some of my cognitive abilities .... and I had to lean a lot on my dearest ones during the healing process. Expecially on my girlfriend, (y/n). 》

The audience starts clapping, while Johnny smiles. Conan is really good in take his chances in this cases, especially with people like Johnny Knoxville, who is not that open on his sentimental life. 《 We are talking about (y/l and y/l/n), right? 》

《 Affirmative 》, is the answer of the silver hair man, who is not able to hide a note of pure proud in his voice.

《 She was here a couple of weeks ago, promoting the new album with the boys. She didn't say a thing about you.》

《 She is something, right?》 Johnny chuckled, sitting more comfortably on the soft armchair. 《 Yes, we decide to tell the world during the premier of Jackass Forever. Sami Zayn tought he would be the real surprise of the night but... he failed. Again.》

Conan and most of the people in the pubblic laught. 《And you two were already togheter while you were filming the last Jackass?》

《 Yes, she is also in the movie but I didn't allow any big stunts with her. I was able to stop her plans with Jeff Tremaine in time. I can tell if I will be this lucky in the future.》

Conan looks surprised. 《 Do you believe that she could...?》

《 Oh, totally》 Johnny cut him off, not even the shadow of a doubt shown 《 I turned around at some point, because i needed to talk with Pontius and when I look for her again she was already on a skateboard. With Steve O. On the very same board. On the top of a roof. There were like three dirty mattress on the ground and... that's it. They jumped and thanks God it endend good for both of them. Thats actually the only bit she is leading in the movie but if you pay attention carefully, she is around most of the time. (Y/n) is wild when she has the right companions.》

《 She doesn't look that.... silly.》

《 Dumb? She can be really idiotic when she has the right support. She teamed up with Ehren and Dave at some point, when I start to complain to Steve O and they made a lot of disasters.》

Conan shakes is head in disbelief, laughing softly. 《 But how did you meet her? She is in another business.》

《 Yes, she is a bass guitar player and an actress. An /actual/ actress.》 Again, is impossible for the people in studio to not laught. 《We met in 2016 at the MTV Video Music Awards. We spoke a lot during the after party with her and other two of the guys from the band. After that i bumped in her at least thee times a year at several events, especially for MTV... once she was touring in Tennessee and I was paying a visit to my family, so I decided to go to the concert and we ended drunked as skunks.》

《 And back to then, nothing happened?》

《 No. I can't even say that we were friends back to them. She was a jackass' fan in her teens and we only spoke about that every time. 》

Conan follow the entire speech, then he nods. 《 So, how it happened? 》

《 I was lucky》 , is the very first answer that comes out of Knox's mouth. 《 She is a really good friend of Steve O and Wee Man. They skates togheter when she is in town. When we decided to bring some fresh blood in the crew, Steve O mentioned her, but in the end we chose Rachel. She was pissed off, so Steve O brought her on the set at least twice a week even if he wasn't allowed because of covid safe precautions. In the end, we filmed some bits with her help and spending time togheter... you know... we have trailers and we are both adults so-》

《 Enough details, thanks》 Conan interrupts him, causing a trilling and loud laught from Johnny. 《 She looks classier that this.》

《 Nah, she is a trash bag. Not morally, (y/n) is a sweetheart and as I mentioned, she helped me so much during my recovery .... but she grown amoung her buddies. The only girl in a group of filthy rockers and you can tell she has no grace. Honestly, that's how she won me over. Being really mean. 》

《 Did she pranked the others on the set along with you?》

《 Everyone except Ehren. She felt sorry for him at least twice a day and refused to bully him. 》

Conan looks even more surprised. 《 So she pranked the Jackass guys. Wasn't a fan?》

《 because she is a fan she enjoys so much pricking around!》 Other laught and then Johnny's tune becomes softer. 《 To be honest, she has a lot of empathy and she was already part of the family even before I realised it. You know after two divorces, it is not simply to just move on. She makes me feel younger and ... I dont know... like I'm good enough for something, at last.》

《 That's almost romantic from you.》

《 The keyword is almost. 》

《 Speaking about feeling younger.... you two have few years in between, right?》

《 Yes .... a couple....》, Johnny replies with tons of sarcasm. 《 Thats the very last of our problems. I dont know if its okay because she is mature or because I'm childish but trust me, it works sweet. It was hard to convince her father that it wasn't a prank, but after that everything came off without and hitch.》

Conan can't help himself but slap the table, chuckling. 《 He thought she was joking?》

《 Yes!》 Is Johnny's exclamation, estatic 《 She pranks her family all the time so they thought it was just another joke. Also because I'm only like five years younger than her dad.》

《 Are you serious??》

《 Like a stroke, Conan. And I can tell you: never mess up with an angry father if you are dating his little girl. The situation was worse then expected for the first half an hour. I honestly missed that bull while I was confronting mr (y/l/n)!》

[liketherice]

Morning all x

[thegettingbyp2]

Love your ff! Can you write a few knoxville x reader in which he cheated on her and she caught him but, with time, the reader forgives him? Thank!

Screw Up

A/N: I've never written anything like this before so I hope this is okay! Writing sad Johnny is one of the hardest things I think I'll ever do!!

When you decided to jump into a relationship with the one and only Johnny Knoxville, you quite literally jumped head first. It was early 2002 and everyone was basking in the success of Jackass. You and Johnny had met on set while you were visiting your best friend, Chris, and had quickly become close, spending as much time together as you could, ending up in the two of you, much like everyone else had predicted, getting together.

For the first few months of your relationship, you were both floating on cloud nine; and then the “honeymoon” phase came to an end and all of a sudden you would both start to get irritated with each other over the smallest things.

You first started to suspect that Johnny might be cheating when he stopped asking you to visit set with him as much and he would start to come home late but you always shook the fear away, knowing that he was busy with the film and the fact that he would quite often go out for drinks with the rest of the guys at the end of the day. Besides he’d always come back home to you and cuddle up to you, peppering you with kisses.

One day, you were sitting on the sofa in the living room of the flat you and Johnny had brought together, scrolling through the channels on the TV until you found an episode of Jackass being played so you put it on and sat back with your coffee, giggling to yourself as you watched Johnny attempt to jump across the “LA River”. Watching him on the TV, you realised that you hadn’t seen your boyfriend since he had left for work the morning before; you got a text from him telling you that he was crashing at Steve-O’s for the night because filming went on late. So, you got up from your seat from the sofa and put your shoes on and grabbed your coat before heading to set.

‘Hey, (Y/N),’ Ryan exclaimed when he saw you walk onto set, running over to you and pulling you in for a hug. ‘Does Knox and Pontius know you’re here?’

‘Not yet, I thought I’d drop by and say hi to everyone. Do you know where PJ is?’

‘Yeah, he’s in his office, said something about having to write up a stunt before it gets approved so he’d actually probably love the distraction right about now.’

‘Thank you!! I’ll come and hang out for a bit when I’ve seen PJ,’ you said as you heading in the direction of the offices. You walked along the corridor until you saw the closed door at the end which you knew belonged to PJ. Knocking lightly, you opened the door and froze when you saw Johnny standing behind his desk, lips connected to another woman’s neck. His hands were gripped onto her legs that were wrapped around his waist and her hands were making quick work of his t-shirt as you watched it be discarded in the corner of the room.

The sound of the door opening made Johnny open his eyes and upon seeing you standing in the doorway, he pulled himself away from the other woman, quickly making his way around the desk to look at you, eyes filled with guilt.

‘(Y/N), I - ’

‘I’ll sleep somewhere else tonight,’ you said quietly as you made to walk out of the room.

‘What? No. (Y/N), we can,’ Johnny began as he reached out and took hold of your wrist lightly, stopping you from leaving.

‘PJ, please,’ you whispered, cutting him off and refusing to look at him at letting him see the tears that were pooling in your eyes. ‘I just need to be on my own tonight.’

He let go of your wrist without a word and let you leave. You walked back the way you came, walking straight into a body. You started to apologise before you looked up and saw Chris standing in front of you. One look at your best friend had you bursting into tears and letting his arms wrap around you, comforting you as best as he could at the moment.

‘(Y/N), hey, what’s wrong? Ryan said you were going to see Johnny so I thought I’d come and say hi.’

‘Can I stay at yours for a few nights. I can’t be around PJ right now,’ you asked, stepping back to look at him and bringing your sleeve up to wipe the tears from underneath your eyes.

‘Yeah, no problem!’

---

You had been staying at Chris’ house for the past two weeks, still not ready to face Johnny. That isn’t to say that Johnny hadn’t tried to talk to you, he’d been ringing and texting you constantly. He hadn’t tried coming to Chris’ house yet because he didn’t know that’s where you were; he thought you might be staying with Chris but when he asked him, Chris had covered for you and said that he had no idea where you were staying.

You and Chris were both laying on the sofa watching comfort films in amongst a huge pile of blankets when you heard the knock on the door. Chris paused the TV and groaned as he stood up and headed to the door and you stayed snuggled in the blankets, blood running cold when you heard Johnny’s voice.

‘Chris, come on man, I know she’s been staying with you, just let me talk to her. Please.’ You heard Johnny say from the door.

‘She doesn’t want to talk to you,’ Chris said simply, ‘and after hearing what you did, I can’t blame her. She told me what you did and I told you not to hurt her.’

‘I know and I hate myself for hurting her, punch me all you want but I know what I’ve done, I just want to talk to her and for her to come home,’ Johnny replied.

‘She’s not ready - ’

‘It’s fine,’ you said, standing a couple of paces behind Chris, still wrapped in a blanket. You couldn’t help the tug at your heart when you saw Johnny; he looked like he hadn’t slept since the day you caught him with the other woman and his eyes were bright red as if he had been crying. When he looked over Chris’ shoulder and saw you it was as if he could finally breathe again and when he started to speak, every word was directed at you.

‘(Y/N), please, I know I don’t deserve a chance to explain myself but I need to talk to you.’

‘(Y/N), if you want me to tell him to leave, I’ll do it, it’s down to you,’ Chris said, turning his body to face you, still handing in between you and Johnny.

‘No, it’s fine, I want to hear what he has to say, thank you though,’ you said to Chris who, after looking at you for a little longer to make sure this was really what you wanted, stepped to the side and let Johnny in.

‘Thank you,’ Johnny said, walking over to you. You simply nodded in response and pulled the blanket tighter around you, all of a sudden conscious of being in a room with Chris and Johnny.

‘I’m going to head out to Ryan’s for a bit, give you two a bit of time on your own to talk. Call me if you need me to come back,’ Chris said, aiming the last sentence around Johnny to you before closing the door quietly behind him. You and Johnny were then plunged into, for the first time since you’d known each other, an uncomfortable silence.

‘Do you want something to drink?’ You asked, feeling the need to break the ice.

‘I’m good, sweetheart,’ Johnny replied, the pet name rolling off of his tongue naturally, making your heart clench, having missed all of the pet names he would call you. The two of you quietly made your way through to the living room where you both sat down on the sofa, keeping a bit of distance between you. You watched as Johnny made to move closer to you but stopped himself at the last minute, clenching his fists at his sides so tightly, you could see his hands shake slightly.

‘So,’ you trailed off, feeling the need to say something but not knowing what you needed to say.

‘(Y/N), sweetheart, I am so sorry,’ Johnny said quickly, filling the silence. ‘I screwed up. I’m not here to ask you to forget about it because I don’t want you to forget about it, I don’t deserve that, I deserve to have you hate me for what I did to you when I promised that I would never hurt you.’

‘Who was she?’ you whispered as you looked down at your hands, fiddling with your fingers. From the corner of your eye you saw Johnny make to reach over to take your hands in his, something he always did when you started pulling at your hands, but he quickly pulled them back again.

‘One of the set assistants. I don’t even know her name. God, I’m a prick.’ He said, running his hands down his face as even more guilt set in.

‘Why did you do it?’ You saw Johnny flinch slightly at your question and you knew that he was hating every second you were making him talk about it but you couldn’t help it, you needed answers.

‘I don’t know. We’d been fighting more, which in no way does it make what I did okay, and I guess I was just trying to get my frustrations out.’ He couldn’t meet your eyes as he spoke and even though, it hurt to hear him talking about him cheating on you, you couldn’t help but feel bad at how guilty he was feeling. You slid closer to him on the sofa, far enough that if he was to move his knee, it would brush yours.

‘Come home.’ Johnny said, his head shooting up to meet yours, when he noticed that you’d moved closer. When you looked at him, you could see the tears that were threatening to fall and you felt tears prick in your own eyes. ‘Sweetheart, I’m miserable and I know that I deserve to feel this way, I know that I shouldn’t even be here and that you should kick me out right now but, God, (Y/N), I want you to come home. I miss waking up to you in the mornings when I’d feel you curl into my side and bury your face in my neck while we would play rock, paper, scissors over who had to leave the bed first to go and make the coffee. I even miss boring Sunday afternoons where I’d sit watching my cartoons and I’d just hold you against my side while you read your book and you would try to tell me what was happening in your book and it would just go straight over my head. I know I don’t deserve to have any of that back but I can’t help it.’

‘Hey, stop it,’ you said thickly as tears had begun to stream down your face as he spoke and you reached out to take his hand in both of yours. His eyes closed softly as he felt your skin on his again and he breathed out shakily as tears started to fall down his cheeks. ‘You need to stop beating yourself up. Yes, what you did was awful and it hurt me more than anything or anyone has ever hurt me before but you don’t deserve to beat yourself up about it, okay? Neither of us were innocent in this.’ Johnny tried to interrupt you after your comment but you didn’t give him the chance, gripping onto his hand tighter. ‘If we hadn’t been fighting as much, this probably would never have happened.’

‘I’m so sorry,’ he said brokenly. ‘If you need more time I’ll give you however much you need, just please say that I haven’t ruined this for good.’

‘Well I have missed the way you make coffee in the mornings,’ you said quietly, smiling slightly at him.

‘Sweetheart, I’d make the coffee in the morning every day for the rest of our lives if it meant you’d come home,’ he said, leaning closer to you.

‘I guess I better pack my bag then,’ you said and before you knew it, Johnny had wrapped his arms around you and dragged you into his lap, hugging you tighter than he had ever hugged you before. ‘I missed you,’ you whispered into his neck as you clung to him, feeling your body relax against his for the first time in what felt like years.

‘God, I love you,’ he whispered back, his hand resting on the back of your neck, holding you carefully against him. You pulled back slightly which made him frown before he realised what you were doing. Bringing one hand up to cup his cheek, you pulled his face closer to yours and met his lips in a soft, wet, tear-stained kiss.

[don-lichterman]

DUKES OF HAZZARD: SEASON 3 (FF)(DVD)

DUKES OF HAZZARD: SEASON 3 (FF)(DVD)

Price: (as of – Details) Dukes of Hazzard: The Complete Third Season (DVD)Get revved up and ready to go in 2005! Following the phenomenal success of Dukes of Hazzard Seasons One and Two on DVD, Warner Home Video will release Season Three on May 31st, complete with a FREE Movie Ticket* to the theatrical release starring Jessica Simpson, Sean William Scott, Johnny Knoxville, Burt Reynolds, Willie…

[asskickedbygirl]

I have no idea if requests are open but… perhaps a sub!Knoxville for the New Year?? Love your writing 😍

In Charge

[Johnny Knoxville x F!Reader]

Desc: Johnny has been trailing you around at work all day, desperate for your touch. You deal with him when you finally get home

A/n: Sorry for being so late... anyways my return fic its been like what? two weeks? Also ty anon! happy very belated new year to you too!

Warnings: smut (18+), p in v, edging, oral (F!Receiving) , sub/dom dynamics

2.2k words 

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“I need you” Johnny whispered in your ear, taking your hand and bringing it down to feel his crotch before you tore it away.

“I’m working PJ.” You placed your headset back over your ears, pretending you had something so much more important do to, stomping off to find Jeff.

Sure you could’ve taken a quick break to help your boyfriend out but what was the fun in that when you could see him all whiny and desperate for your touch for the whole day? Every time he spotted you alone, scanning over your clipboard and talking to various crew members about production issues he’d hobble over like a lost puppy, pleading with you to suck him off or to let him fuck you in his trailer. It was like when he got horny he turned into a whimpering mess, like a teenager who hadn’t jerked off in weeks. Despite his compulsive pleading you’d never give in, only working him up until you could deal with him when you got home.

“PJ if you don't stop coming over here and begging me to fuck you you’re getting nothing when we get back. Do you understand?”

Johnny looked down at his shoes shamefully.

“I’m harder than Portland cement sweetheart. What am I meant to do?”

You looked around to make sure no one was paying you mind before tugging Johnny’s chin up to face you, angry look in your eyes. 

“Don’t come til I can deal with you then, since you want me so bad.”

Johnny groaned, realising he really had pulled the short end of the straw but you were off again before he could verbally protest/throw a toddler-like tantrum. Sex with you made him eager for it whenever he possibly could, something that became a blessing and a curse. 

It was a long day of shooting after that ultimatum, Johnny screwing up the simplest lines when his mind was clouded, whether his hard-on had subsided or not. You revelled in watching him get all flustered and frustrated, knowing it was your doing though the cast and crew were not too thrilled about the extra time spent reshooting over and over.

Eventually the end of the day came and Johnny practically ran three red lights trying to beat the traffic, his grip on the wheel tightening as he shot you nervous side glances, trying to determine what he was in for. Your expression remained stone cold, eyes fixed on the road ahead, acting as if nothing was out of the ordinary. 

Once you arrived at the house and made your way to your bedroom, you instructed Johnny to sit on the bed as you sat on the armchair in the corner, crossing one leg over the other.

“Aren’t you gonna come over here?” He asked, brows knitting together in desperation. 

“Take your clothes off.” is all you responded with, leaning back and getting comfortable while your boyfriend stripped off until he was completely bare, appearing a little abashed.

“Am I the only one getting naked tonight?” 

You bit back a grin.

“Maybe later, have to see if you’re good first.” 

Johnny sighed, leaning back on his arms as he awaited your input.

“You can touch yourself.” 

His brow quirked before he spat on his hand and reached down to pump his already hardening cock slowly, eyes locking into yours with deep-set lust. You admired him as he pleasured himself, thumb swiping over his tip just how you would. 

“Wish it was your hand. Or your tongue.” He spoke lowly, never ceasing eye contact.

“Too bad you were nagging me all day. Maybe if you weren't so desperate it would be me making you feel good.” 

Johnny shook his head at your snarky reply, hand beginning to pick its pace up. 

“So what's the punishment here, I jerk off in front of you while you squeeze your thighs together?” 

Nothing slipped past that man. You rolled your eyes, hands finding themselves tugging your shirt off, your bra remaining on. 

“Well that's something to work with.” Johnny bit his lip, jacking off even quicker at the sight of you a little less clothed. 

You could tell by the way his breath hitched and the pumps became erratic that he was close.

“Don’t come.” 

“What?” Johnny croaked out, panting.

“I said.” You leaned forward and reached around your back, unclasping your bra and letting it fall off your chest, 

“Don't come.”

Johnny’s face fell as soon as he realised what you meant.

He let out an exasperated sigh as he worked himself to the edge before pulling his hand away, squeezing his eyes tightly while feeling the orgasm die away. 

“Good boy.”

“Don’t.”

You giggled, that was never a nickname Johnny appreciated. 

“You’re such a bitch you know that?” 

“Awww but you love me.” You fake pouted.

Johnny rolled his eyes, leaning back on his arms.

“I’d love you a little more if you’d help me out.” He nodded down to his erection, red and angry, a pleading look in his eye. You smirked before unbuttoning your pants and shimmying them off, Johnny catching an excited grin. He bit his lip and appeared as smug as ever as your pants were discarded, you leaning back into your chair.

“Go again.”

Johnny’s face dropped once more

“You’re fucking with me doll.”

You smiled, shaking your head as your boyfriend groaned, returning his hand to his cock. 

“See you’d do anything I’d tell you wouldn’t you?”

Johnny angled his hips upward and let his mouth hang open a bit, eyes never leaving yours.

“Anything.” He murmured, shaking his head.

You reached your hand down to rub yourself over your clothed clit, Johnny’s eyes flicking immediately down to examine your movements. He released a strained moan as he got himself closer to the edge for the second time, your display offering a helping hand. 

“Don’t come.”

Johnny rolled his eyes, his hand not ceasing.

“I know the drill baby.”

Your fingers moved faster to match Johnny’s, your orgasm looming over you. Eventually the both of you almost made it, about to tip over but promptly removed your hands and fingers as soon as the other did. Matched noises of annoyance were heard followed by synced pants. Johnny looked over to you, his eyes dripping with pure lust. 

“You gonna let me touch you now?” 

You bit back a grin, nodding him over as your eyes hung low. He pushed himself off the bed and walked over to you, tall body looming. He bent down and kissed you, your lips locking together before he sleazily slipped his tongue in. As you sloppily made out you began pushing his shoulders down, urging him to get on his knees which he complied in doing. You pulled away from each other, Johnny’s hands now rubbing the sides of your thighs, fingers looping under the band of your panties. 

“If you do a good job I’ll fuck you.” 

Johnny slipped your underwear off of you.

“I always do a good job.” 

You pulled his head up from his hair to stop him from diving in.

“Don’t be so cocky or you won’t come today.”

Johnny sighed.

“Yes ma’am.”

Light kisses were littered along your inner thighs, little kitten licks added to some before he was at your heat, glancing up at you as he latched onto your clit, sucking softly. You bit your lip as your breathing increased, fingers dragging through Johnny's scalp. His mouth moved down to your entrance, adding more tongue while his nose pressed against your clit.

“You’re already soaking.” He murmured into you, the hot breath adding even more pleasure. 

Your hips bucked forward into Johnny’s face the faster his tongue moved, fingers beginning to sneak up, rubbing through your folds. You continued your steady strings of moans as a finger pushed into you, Johnny’s lips latching back onto your clit to suck. You tugged his hair as he added another finger, moving them in and out as fast as he sucked.

“Fuck baby.” You threw your head back, Johnny's eyes flicking up to look at your expression, smiling smugly against your heat.

His cycle of fingers and tongue quickened until you were worked to the very edge, your eyes shut tightly as you focused on coming on your boyfriend’s fingers. You released with a load moan, hips involuntarily bucking forward against Johnny as you did so. Johnny’s fingers continued for a moment before slowing to a stop, letting your clit go with a pop and removing his soaking digits. 

You bit your lip as you looked down at your boyfriend, taking his wrist in your hand and moving his fingers towards his lips, pushing them into his mouth so he could taste you. His drooping eyes were locked into yours as he sucked them dry, whimpering quietly. After you figured he’d had enough you pulled his fingers away from him, instead swiping the spit that coated his soft lips around them with your thumb and leaning down to kiss him. You kissed for a few seconds before standing up, pushing Johnny to his feet as well before shoving him back down to sit down on the armchair, straddling him as his eyes glimmered with glee. 

“Fucking finally.” He whispered, smiling smugly as you sat yourself down just in front of his cock.

You extended your hand wordlessly, Johnny catching the memo and promptly spitting on your hand, allowing for you to pump his rock hard length for a few moments. Johnny bit back the moan that was brewing in his throat, head pushing against the back of the chair trying to suppress his pleasure. 

“I think you made me wait too long. I’m gonna come in T-5 seconds.” Johnny moved your hand away to stop you bringing him any closer to the edge that was already so near. 

“You can take it.” 

You pushed yourself up onto your knees and positioned Johnny’s cock so it was right at your entrance, tracing it through your folds for a moment before sinking down, earning a moan from both parties. 

Johnny’s hands on your waist tightened, head lulling forward onto your tits as he braced himself, the feeling of your cunt too orgasm-inducing to bear. 

“It’s always like it’s the first time with you.” He laughed, eyes shutting tightly.

You pulled Johnny up from his hair, forcing him to look up at you.

“It’s alright, we all gotta lose our virginity at some point.” 

Johnny scoffed, rolling his eyes as you laughed. 

“Would a virgin eat pussy like that?” He kissed your nipple as he stared up at you before you sunk down again, building a slow rhythm. 

“Stop being so cocky. Who’s in charge here?” 

You furrowed your brows as you quickened your pace in an effort to derail Johnny's snappy comments even if they turned you on. Your means were successful as Johnny’s eyes shut once again, mouth falling slightly agape. 

“I said-” 

You moved forward to whisper into his ear, grinding against him while fully bottomed out. 

“Who’s in charge here?” You uttered, hot breath sending shivers down Johnny’s spine causing him to let out a low groan.

“You.” He croaked out, voice strained from pleasure. 

You hummed in approval, kissing the shell of his ear as you switched back to bouncing on his cock, the change of speed forcing Johnny’s eyes shut. You revelled in the sensation of being filled up as well as your boyfriend’s contorted expression. The closer you came to coming, the tighter you squeezed your cunt, eliciting a desperate moan from Johnny.

“Fuck I’m gonna come doll.” 

You kept up your bouncing even when the squeeze of Johnny’s fingers into the skin of your waist was a sign to how close he really was.

“Hold on for another minute baby, I’m close too.” 

You pushed the hair off of Johnny’s forehead as he released a disappointed whimper. Having already been edged that night he was not looking forward to waiting any longer. Lucky for him, the feeling of his tip pressing into your g spot was hurtling you towards your orgasm, your hands digging into Johnny’s neck and increased moans giving a warning. The band in your stomach finally snapped, Johnny having to buck his hips up into you to chase his own impending orgasm. As you convulsed, the after effects of your big finish washing over you, Johnny came inside of you, the groan he let out being long and much needed. He held your hips down, not letting go as you felt him paint your insides, coming for at least ten seconds.

“Jesus that was a big load.” You smirked, Johnny burying his head into your chest.

“Fuck off.” He mumbled. 

After a minute of silence you got off of your boyfriend’s lap, trailing off into the bathroom to clean yourself up, leaving him to lay fucked out on the armchair.

“You know when you're following me around and begging me to fuck you in future, it won't end like this.” You called out, a hint of sarcasm in your words. 

“I know.” 

Johnny sighed, moving himself from the chair to planting his stomach flat on the bed, bare ass out in the open. You laughed as you re-emerged. 

“You know it’s only like seven o’ clock right?”

“G’night.”

End. 

@gnarkillknoxville @steve-osahottie @izzaaaaaa @jackassvivalabam03 @lovexjoe @kristinee @jackussy420 @alex-abn0rmal

[sunnyie-eve]

Uttermost Lifestyle Masterlist

Series: Jackass

Paring: Johnny Knoxville x Original female character

Summary: Some people didn't like the idea of a girl being apart of Jackass and if they wanted her, they wanted her to at least show some nudity like the guys to be entertained. Unlike most of the public, the cast loved and treated her like family despise what people thought of her. They let her do whatever she was comfortable doing and never forced her to do anything she didn't wanna do.

{ Ch.1 | Ch.2 | Ch.3 | Ch.4 | Ch.5 | Ch.6 | Ch.7 | Ch.8 | Ch.9 | Ch.10 | Ch.11 | Ch.12 | Ch.13 | Ch.14 | Ch.15 | Ch.16 | Ch.17 | Ch.18 | Ch.19 | Ch.20 | Ch.21 | Ch.22 | Ch.23 | Ch.24 | Ch.25 | Ch.26 | Ch.27 | Ch.28 | Ch.29

[sunnyie-eve]

14 | Here for support

Series: Uttermost Lifestyle

Paring: Johnny Knoxville x Original female character

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: none

| MASTERLIST |

~

Since that dumb drunk night, the guys refuse to let it go. I swear every second they have to remind me they saw my tits. At least when I had a certain look on my face they knew to drop it immediately or they were about to get it.

"Can we talk?" Johnny walks up to me as I was chatting with Ryan as we all wait to get in the van.

"Yeah, of course." I say making him nod his head and kinda motion for me to follow him away from everyone.  Dunn gives me a look and I knew he was saying, this better be a fucking apology.

As we were a good ways Johnny stops turning to face me, "I know I shouldn't have waited this long to apologize to you about what I said in Japan. I wanted to stop you before you left my room, but I was being an idiot just yelling at myself on the inside. Every day up to now since then I wanted to say sorry but I could never get you alone. Dunn or Bam or both were always right there by you." He explains to me.

"What made you finally decide to ask me away from one?"

"Finally got the balls to man up. I'm so sorry Alex. I was just fucking pissed that one of the other guys saw you naked. I didn't mean any of the shit I said... I only said it because I was upset. I hate myself for making you cry." He apologizes keeping eye contact with me the whole time he was talking.

"I'm just glad you finally apologized. I hated how we've been since then. I miss having the dorky caring you around me. I miss being close to you." I say making him smile. "You must sorta hate me since now the whole cast saw my upper half naked when I was fucked up." I laugh.

"I don't hate you, I hated all the guys cheering about it. They should have respected you a little since you aren't some random girl, you're they're cast member." He says making me get a big smile.

"Well you did. You stayed quite the whole time. Plus Ryan and Bam helped me out afterwards so they respected me." I look back over at Ryan watching us.

"So we're all better now right?" He asks so I just jump on him giving him a hug. "I take that as a yes." He chuckles walking us back to the van.

When we to the zoo to film Jeff wanted Weeman to get bit by a baby gator on the boob but he refused to do it. Since he wanted nothing to do with Johnny steps up to take his place. He takes his shirt off to get bit and as soon as it clamped onto him he screams.

"See, that's what the big ones do. But sometimes they don't wanna-," Johnny cuts Manny off by yelling more.

"You're twisting him! You're fuckin' twisting him!" Johnny shouts before biting his fist. He starts to yell as it gets his nipple so they get it off him.

"Can I get it right here?" I motion to the back of my arm making everyone look at me.

"Weeman how you feeling now? Even Alex wants to do it." Preston laughs as I move to get bit.

"When I say Oklahoma, I'm done." I let them know and they agree. As soon as it hit a hold of my arm I hiss closing my eyes. "Oh, that does not feel good at all." I turn my head to look at it. Luckily for me it lets go of me without having to force it to let go.

"You're bleeding." Johnny looks at it.

"I'll be fine." I say as we go watch Steve-O now that his tightrope was set up.

Now as we wait for Steve-O, Ryan looks at my arm closer. "You took that so well." He moves my arm towards the sun light to see better.

"It fucking hurt. I was acting tough." I whisper the truth to him making him laugh at me.

"You're secret is safe with me." He leans into my ear as we see Steve-O come out.

"There's no such thing as failure, Steve-O. One thing I know is good tightrope walking." Johnny says making us all laugh.

When Steve-O falls he grabs back on deciding to crawl across upside down with raw chicken tucked into his bottoms.

"You got it Steve-O." I tell him as the guys laugh.

Multiple of times we had to tell him to keep his head up as the gators tried to get to him. When he fall into the water he puts the meat back in the aims his ass towards one so it would take it.

"Don't look." We all tell him as he starts to get vocal waiting. As soon as it does he runs off right into a crocodile out of the water making everyone laugh while I take a breath in.

"Why do you wear your pants so fucking low?" I ask Johnny as we walk around so he looks down at himself.

"What's wrong with it?"

"Your dick is gonna show at some point." I laugh at him.

"No it's not and your pants are low too." He hooks his finger through my belt loop.

"Not as low as yours! Your ass crack will show if you bend over mine won't." I turn him around causing him to laugh.

"So you don't like seeing this?" He moves away so I can look at him. Of course I liked seeing his v-line it was fucking hot. "You're not saying anything." He smirks and I get embarrassed so I walk away from him going over to Ryan.

~

"Alex, I need you!" Ryan was knocking at my door so I get up going to open it.

"How many I be a service?" I force a smile because I never get a break from him.

"I have to put a car in my butt and I need you with me." He smiles so I start to close my door on him but he stops me. "Come on, Ri. I need support." He whines pushing my door open.

"I need to get paid more just for having to watch things I don't wanna see." I leave my room following him.

"You really got her to agree to come watch?" Bam says as I walk in behind Ryan.

"I'm here for support." I don't even smile going over Bam's side. "Can he just start now so this will get over faster?"

"I'll probably use all of this before the end of the segment. Uh, what else we got? A condom. Thank you. And, um, a little toy car- blue. It's my favorite color." He shows the camera every thing before setting it all up to go into his ass.

"I gotta get another job." Ed says making me laugh.

"You? Me!" I point at myself as Ryan lubes up his butthole.

Manny ends up coming in when Ryan gets the car in his butt. "Someone help me up. Alex?" Ryan begs me.

"You have lubed up hands that touched your ass, no." I shake my head as he gets up himself pulling his pants up all the way.

We end up having to go to two different places for Ryan's X-rays because the first place didn't have the reaction we wanted. As Ryan walks out of the second place Bam tries making him get to us quicker but he didn't. Ryan shows us the X-rays and we couldn't stop laying at them.

Watching Ryan try to shit the car out was the worst thing ever. "Give me a hug. I had a toy car in my ass." Ryan holds tissue in his butt while trying to hug Bam who wanted to get away.

"For fucksake." Bam just lets him. "Now get a hug from Alex." He gets away shoving me towards Ryan.

"Come here, Ry. I'll give you a better hug." I laugh going up to him wrapping one arm around his neck and the other around his back.

"This is nice." He laughs resting his head on my shoulder.

"Okay, and that's enough now." I move away from him.

"I thought I could rely on you." He pouts.

"You wanted a hug I gave you one. Now leave me alone." I run to my room.

[sunnyie-eve]

13 | Having fun

Series: Uttermost Lifestyle

Paring: Johnny Knoxville x Original female character

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: jealousy, drunk decisions

| MASTERLIST |

We've been in Florida for a while and yesterday the guys were getting paper cuts on purpose which killed me. I don't see how you could purposely give yourself a paper cut. I hated the accident ones so there was no fucking way I was going to give myself one for the hell of it.

"She has it easy!" Steve-O shouts after we're told our parts for the ending sequence.

"We kinda forgot to make a part that would work for her. This already isn't going to work as it is." Jeff tells him.

"Technically the easiest is Dave... he's just skating." I add trying to make a point. The dude was riding a skateboard dressed as a huge dick with bowling balls behind him.

"And you lay on a floaty in the lake." He adds back.

"Till I have to try land on her." Johnny adds to it so Steve-O gives up.

"This is gonna be a mess." I laugh taking off my clothes so I'd be in my bikini.

"Looking good mama." I hear Bam shout and whistle in the distance so Ryan starts to join him. I catch Johnny rolling his eyes but don't say anything about it. Since that night in Japan, he still hasn't apologized to me about what he said. We've kinda just been dancing around it so we haven't been super close and joking around like normally. Now that role has been taken by Bam and Ryan. Was the constant playful flirting annoying from them, yes, but slowly got less annoying.

"I'm getting launched into the water off that catapult and have to land on Alex." Johnny tells the camera then pans to me.

"Once Johnny lands on me, Rip Taylor is gonna come by going fabulous using confetti and then pull a trigger of a gun that says the end."

We all take our places so I was just laying on my floaty in the lake watching everything go to shit. The closer it got to Johnny I was getting nervous because if he hits me it's gonna be feet first. When he is launched into the air I put my arms in front of my face as he comes down. Luckily his feet go in right next to me but his upper part is his body crashes into me.

I come up breathing heavy because he knocked the wind out of me. "Sorry." He apologizes for that though as he swims over to the boat and I go towards the land.

"How was the landing?" A tarred and feathered Ryan walks up to me.

"Okay. He apologized for slightly knocking the wind out of me." I ring my hair out.

"But he can't apologize for hurting your feelings?!" He get loud so I cover his mouth quickly.

"Shut it. It's not worth it."

"Not worth it? He made you cry and never said sorry." I give him a look so he shuts up. "I'll drop it." He rolls his eyes at me.

"Thank you." I give him a tired smile.

~

"How come every time we have to wear outfits for a bit, Alex looks the best?" Dave motions at me as I skate around backwards.

"Because I'm the better looking one of the cast so everything works for me." I joke going around him.

Before we even start we have some technical difficulties with the fog and lights. "Alex, can you button me?" Johnny comes over to me next to Ryan.

I grab the fabric to bring it closer to button him up, "They should have gotten you a bigger size." I pat his back letting him know I was done.

"You aren't going to fall out are you?" He motions at my chest because I don't care for flashing the camera.

"I think I'll be okay. Plus it's foggy and lots of lights to help hid it some of it happens." I laugh as they finish up fixing everything.

"Let's get going!" Jeff calls so we all get in the back of the truck.

We have some fun but as soon as Preston touches the gas peddle it was hell. We all slide/stumble to the back in a big mess. We all get lined up on one side trying to make it across as he turns but it was impossible till he turned the other way making us all slam against the other side.

"God damn it!" I curse trying to stay up while some of the guys fall. Another turn we all get slammed into each other and I feel a grab at my chest. "Who just grabbed my tit?!" I scream as I finally fall to the floor.

"I didn't mean to. I was just grabbing whatever to stay up." Bam says trying to stand back up and when he does Preston slams on the breaks making him slap the back then fly back cracking me up.

"Your head slammed into my nuts." Chris groans as I move away from him to lean against the wall.

"Sorry." I say as Preston opens up the back.

"God this party sucks." Ryan says causing us to laugh.

"I need a fucking drink." I crawl to the opening and get out by myself.

"I got bitch slapped by the door." Bam gets out after me.

"That looked great so I can't wait to see the view from the camera."

"Did you fall out?" Ryan joins us.

"No, I got assaulted." I joke making Bam shrug his shoulders.

"Felt nice." He chuckles skating away from me as I go after him.

Back at the hotel the guys and I drink having fun but I keep away from the other stuff some of them did. I knew I had to many to drink when I felt myself not caring about how I acted around the guys.

We're partners in crime You got that certain somethin' What you give to me Takes my breath away

I stand on whoever's bed, I couldn't remember whose room we were in, singing into my bottle as the guys cheer for me.

Now the word out on the street Is the devil's in your kiss If our love goes up in flames It's a fire I can't resist I was cryin' when I met you Now I'm tryin' to forget you Your love is sweet misery I was cryin' just to get you Now I'm dyin' 'cause I let you Do what you do to me

I jump off the bed walking around Johnny's chair putting my hand in his hair ruffling it up.

Cause what you got inside Ain't where your love should stay Yeah, our love, sweet love, ain't love 'Til you give your heart away

I sit on his lap taping on his chest.

I was cryin' when I met you Now I'm tryin' to forget you Your love is sweet misery I was cryin' just to get you Now I'm dyin' to let you Do what you do what you do down to me Baby, baby, baby

I get off him going to every guy singing leaning against them as they start to pour beer on me.

I was cryin' when I met you Now I'm tryin' to forget you Your love is sweet misery I was cryin' when I met you Now I'm dyin' to forget you Your love is sweet misery I was cryin' when I met you Now I'm tryin' to forget you Your love is sweet misery I was cryin' when I met you Now I'm dyin' 'cause I let you Do what you do down to , down to, down to, down to

I shake my wet hair as the guys holler for me and get louder at Girls, Girls, Girls comes on as I get another beer.

"Come on, Lex. Give us a show!" Chris gets up grabbing my hand spinning me around.

"She doesn't need to." Johnny speaks up making me want to dance around giving the guys a little show.

Johnny's pissed off face just lights a fire in my drunk ass to piss him off more so I decided to start losing clothes. "Trick or treat, sweet to eat. On Halloween and New Year's Eve." I smile leaning over Bam's shoulder giving him a kiss then lose my shirt.

"I'm such a good, good girl. I just need a new toy." I change the lyrics sitting in Ryan's lap teasing him with an almost kiss but get up to lose the shorts. Soon I was just in in my bra and underwear dancing around the guys.

"I know that look!" Chris shouts as I smirk raising an eyebrow at Johnny. My hands make their way to my back messing with the clip of my bra as I move my hips to the song. Slowly I remove my bra and soon as it was off there was clapping coming from everyone but Johnny.

Once the song was over I rush to the bathroom feeling nauseous. "I got you." Ryan holds my hair back as I throw up.

"I don't know where that came from..." I say in between my hurling.

"You don't usually drink this much." He rubs my back.

"True." I wipe my mouth with toilet paper.

"Here's your clothes." Bam comes in dressing me. "You're really fucked up aren't you?" He laughs as I don't even try to help him.

"Do you really think she would do that if she wasn't?" Ryan helps him dress me.

"I was just having fun. Let me have more fun." I hiccup trying to take my clothes off.

"Okay, it's bed time for you." Ryan picks me up.

"No!" I whine as he carries me out of the bathroom. "Alex, is going to bed." He tells the guys.

"Boo!" Chris and Steve-O complain as we leave.

In my room Ryan places me on my bed and I just lay there to tired to move. "Alex, you need to get out of beer soaked clothes." He tells me as he hands me water but I knock it out if his hand.

"Put her in the shower." Bam picks me up putting me in my shower so Ryan turns it on. I just sit in the shower letting the water hit me. Slowly I start to get sober remembering what I just did.

"Why did no one stop me?" I lay my head back.

"It was a good show..." Ryan says as Bam leaves to go drink more.

"Last time I got that fucked up was my 23rd birthday..." I get up taking my clothes off putting a towel around me.

"You comfortable with me seeing you naked now?" Ryan laughs as I look for clean clothes.

"Yeah, plus I'm still not fully sober." I laugh at myself getting dressed. "Ry...Thank you." I crawl into my bed. "For taking care of me." I close my eyes giving him a smile.

[sunnyie-eve]

12 | Joking around

Series: Uttermost Lifestyle

Paring: Johnny Knoxville x Original female character

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: jealousy, misunderstanding, fight

| MASTERLIST |

"You guys really made eyelashes for my panda head?" I laugh looking at it as we got dressed for the bit.

"How else will we and others know which one is you?" Johnny laughs.

"Didn't know, I needed to be identifiable." I say as Ryan puts on his head then does a kind of a skip over to me, pulling me closer to him before dipping me into a kiss. I couldn't help but laugh along with some of the guys expect for Johnny. "I wasn't ready." I put on my panda head.

As soon as my head was on I jump onto Ryan so he holds me up as I wrap my arms and legs around him kissing him. Since it was hard to hold me and have our head fake like we were kissing, because the head took up space, he ends up walking over to a wall for my back to lean on.

"You two gonna fuck in the suit?" Steve-O asks making us crack up.

"Steve-O, they're fully clothed." Johnny speaks up.

"They can fake it too." Steve-O says so Ryan starts to thrust making start to slap him.

"Okay, that's enough." I laugh getting off of him taking my head off to see Johnny glaring at us.

"It's all a joke dude." Ryan tells Johnny wrapping his arms around me kissing me with his head still on.

As soon as we get out of the elevator we start. Three lay down on the steps while Weeman jumps over them on the skateboard. I stand on the other side so he can run into me. He slightly gets Preston's shoulder making him trip and take us both to the ground.

"Dude, your head rammed into my tit." I groan getting up.

When Steve-O decides to handstand down some steps I rush over and slightly pushes him cause him to fall and tumble. As he lays still I run down the stairs and he trips me so I tumbles to the ground laughing but in pain.

"This is gonna hurt." I groan after we talk about what we were doing next.

"I'll try to go easy because you'll be on his back." Johnny pats my back.

"Whatever." I say jumping onto Ryan's back so we can walk then have Johnny tackle us into a store.

"I'll try to soften your fall. If I can't... I'm sorry." Ryan chuckles as we start to walk.

"It's okay. I know what I sighed up for."

"I'm terrified of how hard he's gonna hit us because of us joking earlier." He says as Johnny comes in.

As soon as we hit the rack of shoes our heads fall off. Loomis, Preston, and Steve-O join the pile. Ryan groans in pain about his jaw while I complain about whoever's foot kicked me in the face.

"Sorry that was me." Loomis says as Johnny helps me up.

"Your nose is bleeding some." Johnny tilts my head back.

"Doesn't look broke through right?" I ask only caring about that.

"Looks like your nose still." He tells me so I give him a thumbs up. "But it is bleeding a lot and fast." He says so I cover my nose.

"I think I'm done then." I say making my way back to the hotel and stuff my nose till it finally stopped.

I was laying in bed watching whatever was on the tv in the room but since I didn't know Japanese I get up going to take a shower. I didn't think much because I thought the guys would go out drinking so I didn't lock my door.

I'm the middle of my shower I hear running and someone rushing into my bathroom and getting into with me. "What the?!" Ryan covers my mouth telling me to shut up as try I covering myself up.

"Alex! Where did Dunn go?" I hear Bam bust into my room.

"Dude, I'm just trying to shower." I poke my head out still trying to cover myself from Ryan.

"So he's not in here?" Bam comes into the bathroom.

"No! Just let me finish my shower!" I shout so he leaves my room and I turn to Ryan. "That goes for you too." I turn to face him.

"Can I still hide in your room till he cools down?"

"What did you do anyways?" I ask.

"Broke his favorite skateboard on purpose." He just stands there.

"Understandable... Now get out, please." I smile so he nods his head getting out.

"By the way..." He pokes his head back in giving me a wink and a thumbs up.

"Al- What the fuck?" I hear Johnny's voice so I pop my head out seeing a pissed off look on his face.

"Oh, no." Ryan motions before us. "I was just hiding from Bam." He tries explaining to him while Johnny looks at me disappointed.

"Johnny, nothing happened." I say as he turns to leave without saying a word. I get out wrapping a towel around me going after him. "Would you listen to me?" I follow him and ignore the whistles from the guys.

"He saw you naked and you didn't care." Johnny turns around to face me as we get into his room.

"I didn't give him permission to hide in there! He jumped in by himself making me cover up. You act like we did something."

"You could be lying. Last time you were in a shower with a jackass member you had sex with them. What's stopping you this time? You two are getting close so it's gonna happen at some point. You're already two out of nine... three out of nine soon for you." He snaps at me and my heart breaks a little.

I slap him across the face, "You're a fucking dick, you know that. Incase you forgot, Chris and I never hooked up. So it's still one out of nine, Jackass." I turn to leave slamming his door behind me as I go back to my room.

I walk into my room sitting down on my bed still in my wet towel starting to cry into my hands. I never could have imagine Johnny saying those words to me or think about me like that. I was worried about never losing feelings for him but he just helped out quite a bit.

"Ri..." I hear Ryan walk out of the bathroom but I keep my face in my hands trying to quit crying.

"You should have heard him..." I sob more as I feel a dip in the bed next to me. "You could be lying. Last time you were in a shower with a jackass member you had sex with them. What's stopping you this time? You two are getting close so it's gonna happen at some point. You're already two out of nine... three out of nine soon for you."

"But you've only got with him. You and Chris never did it. You told us." Ryan puts his arm around me as I keep crying. "He'll apologize soon once he realizes how much of a dick he was being." He pets me.

"He should have said it before I left his room after smacking him."

"Why don't you go get dressed and we'll just have some fun drinking in here so you don't have to see him?" Ryan suggests so I pick up my head.

"That sounds good."

He smiles and stands me, "Then get dressed." He leaves the room so I change into the clothes I sleep in.

When he comes back he was carrying a few beers and had cards so we could play a game. Bam was also right behind him carrying more beers. "I don't remember Bam being part of the having fun." I smile at them.

"He told me you were crying and I know I can cheer you up mama." He kisses the top of my head.

[sunnyie-eve]

11 | Ass kicking

Series: Uttermost Lifestyle

Paring: Johnny Knoxville x Original female character

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: none

| MASTERLIST |

The next morning I was rudely awaken by Bam and Ryan pulling the blankets off me then a buck of cold water really waking me up. "GOD DAMN IT!" I yell at them getting out of bed soaking wet.

"You would win a wet t-shirt contest." Bam chuckles and I didn't even care.

"I'm gonna kill you." I say through my teeth. "Dunn! Eyes up here!" I yell at him so he runs out first then Bam pulls out a camera taking a picture before following. "You fuckers!" I scream running after them not giving a shit I was in a wet tight shirt and underwear. "Margera, give me that camera! Dunn!" I run into the room where they were with everyone else.

"Just let me keep the picture please." He laughs as I try getting to him.

"No!" I rush after and buy since Ryan thought he was in the clear I stop and grab his junk and twist it. He groans in pain and that distracts Bam so I go tackle him. The guys oh as I straddle him and take the camera out of his hand.

"All you had to do was ask, mama." Bam places his hands on my hips so I punch him in the chest before getting up.

"Alex..." Johnny says my name as everyone looks at me.

"Oh no!" I fake like I care. "Yes, you can basically see my tits though my shirt and I'm in my panties. Enjoy it." I fake a smile then go back to my room to get dressed.

A few of us end up going to a dojo where they would be doing a few bits and I was there just to watch. For Bamboo boo Weeman, Loomis, Preston, Chris, and Steve-O get hurt in the butt with the stick. That damn mark after a few seconds, I really understood the pain they had for a bit. Since Johnny didn't take part in that he ends up getting kicked hard in the ribs instead of the chest which I hiss at.

For Ryan was getting his ass kicked by a Woman's Lightweight Champion and he wasn't that nervous till we got to see her practice. "It will be over quickly so you didn't worry." I pat Ryan's back.

"I could sure go for a Miller High Life." He tells the camera making us laugh.

"Oh, you're in so much trouble." Johnny says as Ryan whines.

"In blue corner...West Chester, Pennsylvania... Ryan Dunn." The man introduces him so we applaud for him. "In the red corner... Double-K World Women's Lightweight Champion... Kumagai, Naoka." We applaud for her too.

"I'm about to get the shit kicked out of me by a girl." Ryan looks into the camera.

"To be honest, Alex would have this morning if she wasn't holding back." Chris adds and I agree with him.

We just watch Ryan get the shit kicked out of him and it was hilarious. "Oh, god, my jaw is like two inches to the left." Ryan says as my phone starts to ring. I slightly worry since it was from my parents since it was late back home.

"What's wrong?" I answer the call walking away from everyone.

"You didn't tell me Caiden was allergic to soy. How could you forget to tell me?" My mom raises her voice at me.

"I thought you knew since he was born?!" I shout at her.

"Well I guess I forgot but you should have wrote it down on his meds list." She snaps at me.

"Mom, it is... What did he eat? How bad is it?" I ask pacing around the empty room.

"Well he wanted some ice cream and the one we had was soy based. We didn't know so we had to take him to the hospital." She tell me and I almost lose it.

"Can I talk to him?" I ask calmly and she puts him on the phone. "Is grandma still in the room?" I ask him.

"No, she left to go smoke." You could her he didn't sound well.

"Did you try warning grandma that something was wrong?" I ask him.

"Yes but she told me it was nothing just that dairy upset me stomach. I told her no since I was having trouble breathing and was dizzy, but she told me to go to bed." He starts to cry and I hear her come back into the room. "Put grandma on the phone please. I love you baby."

"By mom. Love you too."

"You are a terrible grandmother!" I yell at her pissed off. "He tells you he can't breath and dizzy and you have the nerve to tell him go to bed? Did you wait for him to blackout and break out in a rash?" I ask and wait for an answer but she talked too long. "YOU DID DIDN'T YOU?!" I hang up and call Chris's mom and tell her everything and that I want her to take him and keep him while I'm away for the movie.

"Are you okay?" Johnny comes into the room.

"No! My mother is terrible! She could've killed my son because she didn't remember his allergy to soy. She had to take him to the hospital because he blacked out is a huge rash. She gave him soy based ice cream and he didn't know it was. He tried telling her but she didn't care he couldn't breathe. I called Chris's mom to go get him so he can stay with them till we get back."

"Hey, hey, hey. Calm down. Breath before you blackout." He grabs me by my shoulders holding me still. "Breath sweetie." He takes slow breaths making me do it to.

"I just can't believe that women. I should have known because how she was with me growing up. I was never the favorite and really wasn't when I got pregnant with him." I move away from Johnny upset.

"At least you can trust and relay on Chris's parents to take care of Caiden while we're gone." He moves hair out of my face.

"How are you feeling?" I step back as I see Ryan enter the room eyeing us.

"Jaw still hurts. I wanted come check on you. I hear you shouting." He walks over to us.

"Just my mom being a terrible grandmother so I had to call Chris's mom to pick him up from my mom." I roll my eyes.

"She didn't remember Caiden has a soy allergy and then didn't care he had a reaction." Johnny adds to let Ryan understand.

"What a bitch. I'm not surprised because of the way she talked to you that day we ran into her at the store." Ryan brings up so I nod my head as Johnny says he'll be right back.

"Sorry for interrupting." Ryan makes a face walking to stand in front of me.

"You didn't interrupt anything. I should actually thank you for stopping what could have happened."

"No! Let it happen. See what could happen." I slap him to shut him up.

"No. I don't want to be in a relationship."

"Then the two of you just mess around while we film." He says making me slap him upside the head.

"No. That won't help my feelings go away, Dunn." I explain so he nods his head with a thinking face.

"What if you two mess around but you also mess around with others so you don't get attached to him?"

"Others? I'm supposed to find random guys everywhere we go?" I cross my arms.

"Or use some of us. We won't mind. Especially Bam." He joke but I knew deep down he was serious at the same time. 

"That's not funny." I punch him in the arm. "I'm not getting with any of y'all to get over Johnny."

"Easy. I'm already hurt and I was joking." He rubs his arm when I punched him.

"Where you really though?" I glare at him and he makes a guilty face. "I hate you."

"If you hated me, you wouldn't still be here talking to me baby." He kisses my cheek. "Remember that offer." He winks walking away from me.

"In your dreams, Dunn. And Bam's too!"