#Johnny knoxville fanfic

[strcwbrryklss]

୨୧﹕ in your care .ᐟ oneshot

pairing ; johnny knoxville x fem!nurse!reader contains ; tension , flirting a/n ; in love with this man. summary ; after a flirty patient comes into your care at the hospital, your job seems a little more bearable.

JOHNNY WOKE UP, an unbearable pain gripping at the back of his skull. clenching his eyes shut, he groaned at the sensation of his achy limbs that haven’t moved for around 12 hours. his hands were wrapped up in bandages, both broken and battered, along with his head, where he suffered a concussion.

this wasn’t new to johnny, actually, it was pretty regular. his ‘thing’ was being dumb, putting himself into danger as if it was a game, which, safe to say, ends up here. he’s lost count of the amount of times he’s ended up in the ER. matter of fact, he’s probably been in the exact same bed he’s in now ten times before this.

it’s the same-old, same-old. he stays for a few days, gets given meds, gets sent home, and doesn’t take the meds (not in the way he should, anyway).

“good afternoon” a cheery voice was heard after a short knock at his door, the face of a beautiful girl peeking out.

although it hurt, johnny mustered up a charming smile towards the nurse, “afternoon ma’am”

you smiled, walking in with a tray of breakfast, “i’ve got ya some dinner, let me know if you don’t like anything and i’ll change it for ya”. putting the tray down on the table, you moved it closer to johnny so he could reach.

“i don’t think i’ll be able to eat, doll” he responded with a small smile, moving his arms up and showing the nurse his wrapped up hands.

mentally face-palming, you spoke, “oh right, sorry, i’ll help”. you pulled up a chair beside his bed, “well, lucky for you, today’s special is mashed potatoes and mystery meat. i’ll make sure it’s top quality”

“lucky me” he murmured, eyes sparkling beyond his black eye, “i can’t even pretend to be disappointed. best day i’ve had this week, in fact”

rolling your eyes with a slight smile, you scooped up a forkful of mashed potatoes, holding it out with practiced calm, “here ya go” you said gently.

as he leaned forward to take a bite, he kept his gaze locked onto you, “you know, i could really get used to this” he said, the words slightly muffled as he chewed, “a beautiful woman taking care of me? feels like something out of a rom-com”

you felt the warmth rise in your cheeks despite yourself, “i’m sure the novelty will wear off”, you said, pretending to brush it off as you prepared the next bite, “now, chew and swallow”

johnny snorted in amusement at the demanding words, his dirty minded humour taking over. you gave him a look, causing him to stop his immaturity’s.

“you’re very professional aren’t you?” he teased, eyes gleaming with mischief, “most nurses would have at least blushed by now”

“i’m just doing my job sir—”

“johnny, call me johnny” he corrected.

you nodded, changing the subject, “now, i think you’d like some of the… mystery meat…?”

“oh, i trust you, hun” he responded, shifting just slightly closer, his voice warm and low, “i trust you with my life, in fact”

“don’t get too dramatic” you said, unable to hide your smile as you brought a piece of the meat to his lips, “you’ll be outta here soon enough”

“only if you’ll visit me after” he murmured, taking a bite but never breaking eye contact. he chewed slowly, watching you with an intensity that made you stomach flip, “you know, you’re exactly what i imagined”

the nurse blinked, caught off guard, “what you… what?”

“you know, the whole ‘cute nurse taking care of me’ fantasy” he said, looking entirely too satisfied as he grinned at you, “i’ve been laid up in this bed for a while, and i’ll admit, i was hoping for someone exactly like you”

“you must still be concussed” you said, trying not to laugh, “i’m just here to make sure ya don’t starve to death while you’re recovering”

“well in that case” he smiled as he watched you scoop up another bite, “you’re doing a great job”

you could feel your cheeks getting warmer, but you didn’t dare break your professional facade. you could only keep up your calm exterior as you carefully fed him, listening to his endless, over the top compliments, and sidestepping his flirtatious glances. but the truth was, his charming southern drawl, easy confidence, and obvious amusement at your flustered responses — you enjoyed it. more than you wanted to admit.

when you offered him the next bite, he leaned just a little too close to your hand, catching your gaze as he murmured, “i think i’d heal faster if you were here everyday”

you swallowed, trying to ignore the flutter in your stomach. “you’re here for at least a few more days” you said, almost managing to sound casual, “so i’ll be around”

he smiled, a touch of softness in his gaze, “good. gives me a reason to look forward to meal times”

[michelle-is-writing]

Forgotten Dinner, Johnny Knoxville

Word Count: 1.7k~

Warning: Little bit of angst, forgotten anniversary, sexual themes mentioned

The food in front of me made me sick to my stomach, seeing all of it just sit there without having been touched. A couple hours of putting it all together and setting it up seemed like a waste now as I haven’t even taken a bite of it since I put it on the table. I wanted to wait for Johnny to get home, but even though he had told me he’d be sure to be at home by 6, I still find myself alone as the clock on the stove turns from 10 to 11 pm. Today isn’t our marriage anniversary, but it is the anniversary of the day we met, so I wanted to surprise Johnny with dinner and a new lingerie set I got. It doesn’t help that he’s not answering the phone either, and I’m starting to feel like it all of this was a waste now.

Choosing to head to bed instead of wait up any longer, I put all of the food away in the fridge and lazily toss the dirty dishes in the sink before heading out of the kitchen. Just as I reach the hallway, the sound of keys in the door stop me, leaving me to turn toward the front door and watch Johnny walk in. He wears a laughing grin on his face until he sees me by the hallway, still dressed in the velvet dress I picked out for tonight. At the same time, my eyes catch the butterfly bandages stripped across his eyebrow and the several bandages wrapped around his forearm.

“Hi, baby,” he says, an almost awestruck look currently on his face as he takes in my appearance. He certainly looks pleasantly surprised. “You look… fucking fantastic, what are you all dressed up for?” Hearing his words make me smile, but I still feel a small bit of heart ache at the reminder of the food I made and how much planning I put into tonight.

“Um, nothing anymore,” I almost mutter, reaching hand up to mess with the clip in my hair as I look to the carpeted floors. “You told me you were going to be home at 6, what happened?” I can’t help but ask him, crossing my arms in front of me as I swallow down the nauseous feeling in my throat.

“Jeff asked me if I could help film another skit with the guys, so I stayed to help them and kind of hurt myself,” he tells me, still lingering by the front door as he continues looking me up and down with that same facial expression. However this changes in a few moments as an almost scared look takes over him. “I… I think I forgot something important, what did I forget? What is today?” He asks, now closing the door as he begins racking his brain. Before he gets too far, I stop him and simply inform him by reminding him of today’s date.

“It’s the day we met,” I bitterly remind him, watching the color drain from him. My stomach somehow churns even more seeing the guilt take over his face. “You told me you’d be home at six, but it’s eleven now. I made dinner, it’s in the fridge. I think I’m just going to… go take a shower and go to bed,” I say, shaking my head lightly.

Just as I begin to turn to head up to our room, Johnny stops me. “What? I just got home, don’t you want to stay up for a little?” He asks, stepping into the middle of the living room. “Baby I’m so sorry I completely forgot today, please, I’d love to spend time with you.”

In any other moment, I would’ve smiled at the sweet words leaving his lips, but knowing he forgot that today was the day we met and that we had plans makes the smile stay away. “I think I’ve stayed up long enough,” I say to him, turning my face down to the floor again. “Goodnight, Johnny.”

Before he says anymore, I head up the stairs and into our room where I close our door and let my tears fall. He stayed back for the guys on the one night we discussed him being home on time. If only he could’ve done this any other night, then the issue wouldn't be as severe. There have been many nights in the past where Johnny has stayed late on set, but even then, he texted me on those nights to tell me - unlike tonight when he wouldn’t respond to any of my texts or calls.

After locking our bedroom door, I walk into our bathroom and stand in front of the counter. Staring into the mirror, I watch as my mascara slowly rolls down my face, causing me to wipe it away with a tissue. I really liked my makeup and outfit tonight, and I was really looking forward to Johnny seeing me dressed up tonight and how he might react. Although, I was anticipating how he would react to what I have on underneath my dress more.

With a small sigh, I throw the tissue in my hand away before sliding the straps of my dress down with the rest of the material following it. Looking back into the mirror, I run my hands down my lace clad hips and up to the straps of the matching lacy bra. As I adjust the straps to better hold it’s contents, I step back to look at myself in our mirror and smile. At least I like the way I look tonight. The set came with a waist band that connects to the underwear and it only helps to accentuate my waist and hips even more. I was hoping Johnny would enjoy it too.

A loud crash beside me scares me away from the sink and over to the bathroom window that is now open as Johnny clambers through it, putting his upper body through before almost throwing his legs in behind him. At the same time he does this, his head hits the corner of our bathtub, causing a groan to leave his lips as he crumbles on the floor and I rush toward him. Despite my questions over his head, Johnny barely pays attention to his own pain as his focus shifts to my lingerie clad body. “You were wearing that? For me?” He asks, still lying in the floor unmoving as if he were awestruck. “Baby, holy shit, when did you get this set?”

“Johnny, that’s not important!” I exclaim as I get on my knees beside him to observe his head. He didn’t crack it open, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t give himself yet another concussion. “You hit your head!”

“It’s not the first time, don’t worry please,” he reminds me, moving to sit up with a small smile. “I deserve it after making you wait for me all night dressed like this,” Johnny adds, looking me up and down with a sigh. “I’m so sorry, babe, after I got hurt, we sat around and iced all of our injuries. Not to mention, I broke my phone during the fall too,” he further explains, “I’m so, so sorry I forgot about tonight.”

After a few seconds, I sigh and brush the hair away from Johnny’s forehead where a goose egg is already forming. “I wouldn’t say you deserved to hit your head, specifically,” I tell him, “You’re not good at remembering dates, I know that; mostly because of the many times you have hit your head in the past,” My comment earns a guilty smile from Johnny as he turns to look away, knowing he can’t deny it. “But I do wish you would’ve been home earlier.”

“I should’ve been, and I am so sorry, baby,” he apologizes once more, closing his eyes before turning his head back to me. “You have no idea how sorry I am. I hate that I made you wait up, I hate that I’ve made you cry,” he adds, his eyes now open as he moves a hand up to brush against my previously tear stained face. “I’ll start being home by 6 every night, I’ll bring you flowers every week, I’ll let you tase me, whatever you want - please forgive me.”

His offers make me want to giggle, but I want to try and stay as serious as I can for right now. “I have a few ideas,” I tell him, taking his hands in mine before helping him stand up. He doesn’t wobble or anything, which is good; at least he doesn’t seem to have yet another brain injury to add to the long list of previous ones. For a few moments, Johnny looks me up and down like he did when he was on the floor, albeit this time, he doesn’t look so dopey. “Why don’t you start by helping me out of this?”

At my suggestion, he grins. “Of course, but babe,” Johnny starts, letting go of my hands to wrap one arm around my waist while he grabs my leg with his other hand. All the while, I brace myself on Johnny by holding onto his shoulders as he pulls me flush against him, my leg now curled around his hip with his arm keeping it secure there. “Tonight’s all about you, and I know it’s our anniversary but you deserve so much tonight,” he further tells me, sincerity deep in his voice. “I promise, I’ll try my hardest to make it up to you.”

After a few moments, I smile at Johnny. “I’ll hold you to that,” I tell him, earning a smile back from him. “I love you, Johnny, even when your bad memory gets the best of you,” I add, causing him to laugh before connecting our lips. At the same time, he takes his arm away from my waist to pick my other leg up and hold me, causing me to cling to him even more as he begins carrying me to our shared bed. Lying me down on it, Johnny breaks our kiss and pulls away to smile down at me.

“I love you too, baby,” he murmurs, staring at me with a hazed look in his eyes. That is, until a smirk makes its way onto his face. “Now, just relax,” Johnny tells me, his hands sliding underneath the lace of my bra as he perches himself between my legs. “And I’ll show you just how sorry I am.”

[knoxvillesjackass]

I’m thinking of them doing a Jackass special like “the roast of Johnny Knoxville” and it’s reader’s turn to go up and roast and Johnny can’t help but get turned on hearing her rip him apart, like he didn’t realise he was into it - so of course they have to fuck

𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐝𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞

i kinda made the reader a big tease in this, cause i thought it would be funny! hope you enjoy!

You were anything but ready, it felt like. Your hands were shaking and you had anxiously begun drawing doodles on your speech notes, which you'd come to regret later.

You could hear Wee-Man going at it, and the audience was clearly enjoying it, fits of laughter audible, even backstage.

As Comedy Central often did, a roast was being held to honour a celebrity. Johnny had been chosen as the celeb, and his jackass friends, other colleagues, and you, of course, were in the lineup to do a roast speech dedicated to Johnny.

You'd worked long and hard to make the speech make sense, and even after sleepless nights of worrying, you still weren't sure about the quality of the speech

All of the jackass guys and his other comedian friends were naturals at it, the whole public-speaking thing, but it frightened you.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we'll have a short commercial break and the next person to do a speech will be none other than Y/N, Johnny's wife!"

You were practically shitting bricks, and Johnny could tell when he walked backstage.

"Hey, baby," he smiled and approached you with a smile, which quickly dropped when he saw the state you were in.

"What's wrong, baby? Talk to me," Johnny said and cupped your face. "Can we sit down somewhere?" You sighed and Johnny nodded.

He grabbed your hand and led you into a small room with some chairs and a table.

Johnny sat down on the chair and patted his lab, signalling for you to come and sit, which you did.

You threw your legs over his and cuddled into his body, your long silky dress sliding across the floor.

"Talk to me, hmm?" Johnny hummed and planted a long-lasting kiss on your forehead.

"I'm so nervous, I hate talking in front of this many people," you sighed and hid your face in the crook of his neck.

"I know you do, but you know me better than anyone else. You can always make up some shit, and I'll be the only person to know if it's right or wrong," Johnny comforted you and you smiled.

Johnny looked amazing. With his nicely tailored suit, not to mention the red converse. He looked great, and you were only really realising it at that moment.

"You look hot, PJ," you smiled and bit your lip.

No, no, no. Please don't, out of all times, make this the time for you to get randomly horny, you thought.

But you couldn't help it. Your husband looked so good and maybe it could be good for your nerves.

"Don't start with it now, Y/N," Johnny warned you.

You shrugged innocently and smiled, "what?"

"You know what, and it can't happen here or now," Johnny said and tried to gently push you off his lap, but you repositioned yourself even closer to his crotch.

"For my nerves," you pouted and batted your eyelashes. Johnny threw his head back and sighed. "You know I can't say no when you do tha-"

Your faces were so close and with one, you broke the space by connecting your lips with Johnny's.

He moaned into the kiss, knowing as well as you, that there was not much time left before the commercial break would end. But he didn't pull away, and when you started straddling the fine fabric over his cock, he pulled you in and began kissing you back passionately.

"Mmmh, you look so fucking good, doll," Johnny commented and let his hands wander around your body, which he loved so much.

"Can you please fuck me, hard?" You asked Johnny, who broke the kiss when, conveniently, a production manager yelled from the hallway.

"Five minutes left, people! Knoxville, where are you?"

"Obviously, I can't," Johnny grumbled and you whined like a little child, slightly jumping up and down in his lap, only increasing the boner that was starting to form. "But, Jooohnnyy," you pleaded and kissed his cheek, beginning to undo his tie, but Johnny finally got a hold of himself.

He grabbed you and lifted you from his lap, standing up and looking down, a massive boner clearly poking out in his pants.

You giggled but covered your mouth when Johnny glared at you.

"Congratulations, babe. Now I have to go on national television with a boner," he said, genuinely irritated at you, and the situation as a whole.

If he had a choice, he would pin you against a wall and fuck the living daylights out of you, but the production manager's yells only became louder and more desperate.

"PJ, I'm sorry," you giggled and tried to wrap your arms around his neck, but he stepped away and pushed you slightly.

"Don't touch me right now, Y/N," Johnny warned you. He knew that any physical touch from you, would only make his lust even worse, and he couldn't hide his crotch in any way.

You put your hands up in defence and tried your very best not to laugh,

"Johnny Knoxville!" The production manager yelled again, this time flinging the door open to the room.

"You're both on in two minutes," he ushered you both out of the room and backstage, where you got your microphones fixed.

"After the show, you're fucking in for it," Johnny hissed through gritted teeth and you smiled excitedly.

"I can't wait!" You said as Johnny walked on stage and the crowd began cheering.

Funnily enough, your nerves were practically gone, but it seemed that Johnny was more nervous than you now.

-

“Dating Johnny is like dating Irving Zisman. He’s a terrible dancer, loves beer and likes for things to be thrown under the bridge,” you said and the room erupted in laughter.

You had been shredding him to pieces for minutes. Every word poured out of your mouth and flew into the large room, filling it with laughter.

Johnny laughed, although an ounce of bitterness hung in his smile.

You were the last one to speak, of course. You were the most important person in Johnny’s life, and it only seemed right to put you last as a way of ending the whole show with a bang.

"Right before this show, Johnny and I had some fun backstage-"

People started cheering but fear slowly spread across Johnny's face

"But we all know that Johnny can only get it up when he's either within a mile's radius of a bull or when his friends are talking dirty to him, so-"

Everyone laughed, but Johnny gave you a warning look and shook his head lightly.

"We, tonight, have the possibility to use one of our newest inventions. The boner radar!" You said, improvising completely. "That was, of course, a joke," you giggled along with everyone.

“Baby, Johnny, you’re the butter to my bread and the top to my bottom…Or the other way around?” You winked at the crowd and chuckled.

"My dear jackass, I love you every day and despite the bulls and the crocodiles and the skateboards, I'm still proud of you every day."

That concluded your speech and you bowed quickly to the crowd before hurrying towards Johnny. He kept on sitting down and only stood up when you were in front of him and hid his still very apparent erection from the audience.

"Did I do okay?" You asked and kissed his cheek softly.

"If I wasn't fucking pissed at you, I would say you killed it," Johnny mumbled, bitter-sweet as he hugged you back.

"That's alright by me," you shrugged and clapped along with everyone else as the show had come to an end.

-

Talking to Steve-O was never a disappointment for you, and standing backstage, you laughed out loud as he told crazy tales of his times with the Wildboyz crew.

Everyone was enjoying some drinks, all close friends of Johnny's gathered.

"Have you seen Johnny, actually?" You asked Steve-O when you looked around and realised that Johnny was nowhere to be seen.

"Nah, I haven't," Steve-O said, only just reaching the highlight of his story. "I think, that I'm actually gonna go to the toilet. Excuse me," you smiled at Steve-O, who pouted and waved you goodbye.

You then began your journey of trying to find Johnny. You looked outside, in the smoker's lounge and the bar, but the man had simply disappeared. That was until you reached the men's toilets.

You heard some noises, moaning noises and immediately identified them as moans of Johnny.

You walked in and looked at the stall doors, finally finding the one.

It was clear that he was jerking off, no doubt. His low grunts and the occasional high-pitched whimper made it very clear.

"Johnny?" You asked and knocked on the door, an elated sigh coming from inside the stall as the door was unlocked and pushed open.

Johnny sat on the toilet, his hard cock in his hand, and a hopeless expression on his face.

"Listen, doll, you need to help me now, okay?"

Johnny's voice was desperate and for once in forever, you felt like you had control.

"With what, Johnny?" You asked and smiled, very aware of what he needed help with.

"Quit being a smartass, yeah?"

His tone made you uncomfortable because he was genuinely really pissed at you and you were starting to feel bad.

"You'll help me now, and I won't hear any complaints of any sort from you, understood?" Johnny asked. You couldn't really do anything else than just nod and gulp.

"Good girl, get on your knees," Johnny ordered you and so you did. He sat on the toilet seat still and grabbed your wavy locks, assembling them into a low bun at the back of your head, tying it up with a hair tie from his pocket, that he always kept exactly for this situation.

You rested your elbows on his knees and grabbed a hold of his hard cock.

The tip was angry red and the shaft was veiny and thick.

You began pumping very softly and indeed slowly, focusing on Johnny's face.

He suddenly opened his eyes and cupped your face harshly. "Don't even think about it right now," he warned you and you hid a smile.

He was so desperate, so frustrated and needy, it was almost comedic to watch.

You did feel bad, so you sped up your movements, Johnny huffing out a breath as your pumps become quicker and more advanced.

Johnny moaned and grasped your hair harshly, finally feeling the sweet release he'd been craving for hours.

You brought your lips down to the tip and rubbed your spit as lubrication, all over his shaft.

Johnny's skin was hot to the touch and droplets of sweat were forming on his forehead. He bit down on his lower lip and whimpered softly.

You ran your tongue over the tip before taking him fully in your mouth. Johnny sucked in a few sharp breaths and rubbed your cheek.

Using your hand to stroke what your mouth can't reach as your head bops up and down, tracing the veins of his shaft while doing so.

Your pace quickened and it did not take much for Johnny to climax as his hips stuttered and his thighs flexed under your touch. He became a babbling mess, whispering all types of praise for you as you swallowed his load.

You got up from your crouched position, standing up while Johnny stayed in his sitting position.

You smirked and slowly removed the thin straps of your long dress, letting it slide off your body and fall on the floor. You stood in only your panties and high heels, and Johnny let out a small wow as he looked your body up and down.

You smirked and grabbed Johnny's hands, leading them to your lacy underwear, signalling for him to pull them down, which he did hastily,

Johnny bit his lip and looked down at your cunt, sliding a warm hand between your thighs, massaging your slit with two fingers.

He made sure to look at you the whole time, focusing on your expressions.

You grabbed a hold of Johnny's shoulders for balance as you closed your eyes and whimpered loudly when Johnny's slid two fingers into your already wet opening.

With great self-control and the need for Johnny's cock inside of you, you grabbed Johnny's hand and removed it from your cunt, lowering yourself down on his lap, his cock at your opening.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and whimpered into the crook of his neck as he lowered you down his shaft.

You began to bounce, although there was a slightly painful sensation, the size of his cock never seizing to surprise you.

Johnny was deep, deep inside of you and his hands on your hips only made it better as he forced you down deeper than you ever could go,

"You're so fucking tight, my baby," Johnny groaned and planted his head against your breasts. Your moans echoed through the toilets, but you didn't care.

Johnny's cock twitched with every sound of your moan and he was getting close.

You pulled back a bit, looking down at him as his climax thundered over his entire body. Johnny's chest was heaving heavily and his abdomen was tightening exceptionally hard as he gulps for air.

“God, you’re so fucking good to me," Johnny groaned as he continued to help you near your climax, which you reached soon after.

You were practically shaking on top of him, throwing your head back and arching your back, a series of loud moans and whimpers leaving your lips. Johnny watched you with pride and kissed your neck softly.

"Don't ever give me a hard-on right before going on television ever again, okay?" Johnny asked although it was definitely an order.

"I'll try," you winked and pulled up your dress, leaving Johnny with a sense of relief for once that day.

[sunnyie-eve]

1 | Welcome to Jackass

Series: Uttermost Lifestyle

Paring: Johnny Knoxville x Original female character

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: None

| MASTERLIST |

"Hey you could be part of doing pranks in public. You don't have to seriously hurt yourself. It's a job that pays better than this shitty restaurant you work at." Chris tells me as I was on my lunch break.

"Are they even gonna want a female as part of the cast?" I ask laughing thinking it's stupid.

"I can talk to them about it. Come on, what does a show of a bunch of fucking idiots need? A smart hot babe." Chris says making stare at him. "I mean it in a good way. Come on, Lex. If I can get them to agree, will you?" He grabs my hands.

"Chris, I can't. Kyle is pissing me off. Then I have to help Caiden out with school." I explain to him.

"Fuck Kyle. And can't your parents help out with Cades?" Chris asks in a whiny tone.

"They're out of state at the moment for my brothers wedding. I wasn't invited and I don't wanna talk about it." I make sure he doesn't ask questions.

"Then my parents will help out with him. They watched him when you came over all the time. Please for me." I knew he wasn't gonna drop it anytime soon.

"Fine, if they agree. Now I gotta get back to work." I leave the table to clock back in.

After work I wait outside on my apartment balcony waiting for Caiden to get off the school bus. As I was waiting I get a phone call. "Hello?" I answer it.

"Hello, is this Alexandria Miller?" The man asks me.

"That's me. How can I help you?" I ask seeing the bus coming into view.

"I'm Jeff Tremaine, and your friend Chris Pontius said us adding you to the show would be a great idea. He says you're a pretty good actor for pranks to be believable and funny. We were thinking of having a test run with you too see what you got. Is tomorrow afternoon good for you?" He asks and tells me all the stuff.

"Yeah, it's good for me." I let him know.

"Okay, great. Can't wait to meet you." He hangs up the phone as Caiden comes into the apartment.

"How was school?" I put my phone away.

"Kyle showed up at school trying to pick me up early. They were going to call you, but I told them your job makes you turn off your phone. And I left my book with the restaurant number here by accident." He puts his bag on the couch.

"That son of a... Hey, tomorrow I have to drop you off at Chris's parents house. I have a new job interview tomorrow afternoon." I let him know.

"Cool, I like hanging out with them. What's the new job?" He asks turning on the tv.

"It's for a show on MTV, Chris is trying to get me on with him."

"What show?!" He gets excited.

"Jackass." I go to the kitchen to start dinner.

"I heard about that because Justin's dad. It would be so cool if your were on tv." He gets off the couch sitting at the bar.

"Well hopefully tomorrow goes well."

~

"Caiden, hurry up. We have to drop you off at my parents so your mother can get a job!" Chris shouts for him as he gets things together for the day.

"I'm almost done!" Caiden yells from his room.

"Can I?" Chris looks at me.

"Go ahead." I wave for him off while I open the front door.

"CHRIS! You know I hate this!" Caiden yells as Chris runs out of his room carrying him over his shoulder.

"You know what happens when you take too long." Chris runs out the door with him so I lock the door behind us.

When we drop Caiden off I thank Chris's parents and they said it was no trouble. The whole ride to wherever Chris was taking me, I was nervous bouncing my knee up and down.

"Don't worry, Lex. You'll do great." Chris pats my knee.

Chris and I have been friends since elementary, even through he was the biggest idiot, he's always been there for me. Especially when I got pregnant in high school because my shitty ex boyfriend took advantage of me. Chris and his parents helped me raise Caiden whenever my parents weren't helping me.

"We're here. Since it's a public prank we're meeting in this parking lot." Chris laughs so I just nod my head.

"You must be Alexandria." A guy smiles as Chris and I walk up to him and a few other guys.

"That's me. Nice to meet you all." I give them a smile trying not to be nervous. They all introduced themselves to me and it seemed like half of the cast was here.

"Okay, so we have a little skit but we wanna see how much you can improv without actually knowing the skit." Jeff tells me.

"So free ball it and go along with whoever. I can do that." I nod my head and we high five.

"Let's go for a walk honey." Johnny grabs my hand leading the way to a crowded place.

"Can I have a small hint?" I ask with a small smile.

"I'm your new boyfriend and your crazy ex shows up while I go to the bathroom." He gives me a wink.

"I can work with that. Especially the crazy ex." I laugh swinging our arms.

Once we get to a busy small restaurant with people sitting outside, we stop and take a seat at an empty table.

"What can I start you two off to drink?" The waitress comes up to us.

"He'll take a water and I'll take a sweet tea." I speak for the both of us.

"I love when you know what I want." Johnny take a hold of my hand as the waitress leaves. "I have to use the bathroom. I'll be right back. Love you." He stand up kissing the top of my head before heading inside.

I look around and see a older couple so I turn to them. "It's our one year anniversary to day." I smile at them.

"That's sweet. I remember our one year." The lady smiles at her husband as Chris takes Johnny's seat.

"Who the fuck was that?" He asks pisses off.

"Why the fuck are you following me?" I turn to face him.

"You didn't answer me!" He slams his hands down making people look at us.

"I don't have to because we aren't together! You need to leave." I point away.

"Fuck you. You're gonna regret this." He stands up taking the water out of the waitress hand throwing it at me before storming off.

"Are you okay?" People around me start to ask as I make myself cry.

"Just my crazy ex." I wipe my tears away.

A van pulls up and Bam and Ryan jump out running over to me grabbing me by the arms and legs. I start to scream and fight as they rush to throw me in the van before anyone can grab them.

"Hey!" Johnny comes running out.

"I told her she would regret it!" Chris yells at him in the driver seat.

When we see some pull out those phone to call the police that's when the crew tells everyone it was just a prank for the show.

"You almost bit me fighting back." Bam makes me laugh.

"I had to make it believable. And you asshole, throwing that drink at me." I glare at Chris making him laugh.

"I made sure to grab the water." He wraps his arm around my shoulder.

"Your a good actress making yourself cry." Jeff tells me.

"Told you. That's how most of our life she got what she wanted. Always made herself cry and I fell for it every time." Chris kisses my cheek.

"I wanna do something." I get an idea.

"What do you have in mind?" Johnny asks crossing his arms.

"I need to make a fake baby and someone who will hit me with a car." I smile.

"I'll do it!" Chris throws his arm up.

"Are you sure?" Jeff and Johnny asks me.

"Do you know how rough big brothers, especially when one didn't want a little sister? I can handle hurting myself."

"If you insist." Jeff says so I get things to wrap my jacket around making it look like a baby was swaddled up.

"I won't hit you too hard." Chris pats the top of my head.

"Thanks make sure the passenger door is unlocked so I can hope in because you're my ride picking me up." I smile at him.

"Did the 13 year old in you come back?" He laughs.

"Maybe see you at the crosswalk." I walk off.

"Good luck!" The guys shout out to me.

Once I get to the busy corner I pull out my phone pretending to call Chris. "Where are you? I gotta get home to put the baby to sleep? Wait a minute." I move the phone slightly. "Excuse me, do you know the name of this street?" I ask a woman and she tells me so I say it to my phone. "Okay, great. Bye." I put phone away and as I see our car I walk out into the street.

Chris bumps me putting the breaks on so I throw myself onto the hood then roll off holding my baby as people around scream and rush to me.

"I'm okay, the baby's okay." I groan as a man helps me up. "What the fuck dude?!" I shout at Chris walking around to the passenger side.

"You said this street." He sticks his head out.

"You're an idiot." I get in the car and we drive off leaving everyone who rushed to help confused.

When we all group up again the guys give me I high five. "How did it look?" I ask rubbing my thigh.

"Fucking amazing." Johnny high fives me again.

"Gonna use both for the show so I guess that means you got the job." Jeff says making Chris pick me up.

"I told you!!!"

"I didn't take you as a girl who would throw herself onto a car then fall onto the street." Bam walks up to me.

"Should have seen how she acted when we were 13. She was super crazy. Sprain both wrist trying to do a dumb trick on a skateboard." Chris tells him.

"Skateboard? You can ride a skateboard?" Bam looks at me.

"Is that surprising news for you? Let me guess... I don't look like they type of girl?"

"Yeah..."

"Well I can." I laugh.

"And super well too." Chris adds.

"Hey Alex, Welcome to Jackass!" Johnny shouts.

[frothingatthemaw]

I Like The Way You Kiss Me

Series ao3 link

Part One: Just One Look at You and I'm Wasted

Sunny hated how pretty she found him. It flipped a switch in her brain that made her want to be close to him, wanting to take back what she was trying to do all together. Maybe she could settle with that. Maybe burning up in the heat of him was something she could grow a likeness for. (Or, Johnny and Sunny have a drunken first date.)

Rated: Not Rated | 5.7k

Tags: First Dates, First Kiss, Drunken Kissing, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Mentioned Marijuana Use, Neurodivergent OCs, Body Dysphoria (if you squint), Stimming, Sensory Issues

Part Two: Can I try again, try again, try again? (COMING SOON)

[haptureratch]

Bitch, You Need Therapy

Pairing: Johnny Knoxville x Reader (afab)

Others: Chris Pontius, Steve-O

Word count: approx. 4.5k

Synopsis: You’re part of the crew, temporarily filling in and enjoying it immensely. You are filming something overseas. Knoxville finds out you have a crush on him and decides to fuck with your stressed little self until he gets carried away in the moment.

WARNINGS/tags: NC-17, minors DNI, adult language, alcohol (technical lack of consent), soft allusions to hard drugs, oral sex, genital penetration, THE DOUBLE MEANING OF LIPS, kinks galore (praise, rough, petnames, things I don’t have a word for)

Notes from the author: Yeah idk he just seems like a playful bastard that might be hiding a kinky streak. Not tied to any specific period of Jackass filming so reader can take some creative liberties (the least I can do when I am dictating reader’s entire personality lmao). Knoxville is single in this world; it’s all fun & fantasy. This work has not been officially reviewed apart from one of my best friends giving enthusiastic approval early on. But I’ve read over it a hundred times while writing it SO DAMN SLOWLY, so hopefully it is okay. There are purposeful tense changes and I hope they hit the way I'm intending. Is the whole thing cringe? Maybe; maybe not. Pls let loose & enjoy! I am a long time reader and I’ve had ideas here and there; finally decided it was time to fuck around and find out myself. It’s been way harder than I thought and I have even more respect for my fave fic authors out there. If you know me irl, no you don’t. WITHOUT FURTHER ADIEU~~

Night has been falling earlier and earlier as weeks peel away from Autumn toward the year’s end. It is 7 o’clock in the evening but feels more like 11. Outside the darkness is interrupted by numerous streetlamps along the sidewalk. The lights glow a golden orange, reminding you of the crackling fire in the pub, and you dig your hands into your coat pockets seeking warmth.

“HEY ASSHOLE, why did we leave that cozy fucking place?!” you shout over the wind at one of your walking companions with some frustration. Only some. You’ve had a couple drinks and your speech seems to come out in demanding exclamations regardless of any real anger at that point. And you’re fairly certain any frustration stems from unmet desires directed toward this man and his stupid glinty purple-tinted sunglasses. Sunglasses, which he wore inside the intimately lit pub and which he is still wearing outside at night. What a jackass.

A different, unsunglasses’d man answered. “Because adventure calls! Sure, it’s cold out. But not cold enough to get frostbite. The call to adventure must be heeded even in the face of Ice Queen Mother Nature. Like the Russian Police, she’s stern. Stern…but fair,” he announced with omnipotence. Everyone in the group seemed dead set on committing crimes this evening. This one was guilty of venturing out in 20-some degree weather without a coat or sweater or torso cover of any kind. Just a fluffy scarf and a Santa hat. Another jackass, you thought. But that’s why you jumped at the chance to work with these people. It was an invigorating break from the mundane. And the group oozed fun; to be in the same room as any of them was to know friendship and laughter.

You smiled genuinely at him. Despite the cold and questionable decisions, he still inspired affection. “Thanks, as always, Pontius, for the exceptional pep talk but I think I was asking—”

“DUDE WHERE IS MY SKATEBOARD?!?!!” screeched a third man’s voice. He’d definitely had the most to drink out of the group so far this evening and crime was written all over him. Good ol’ Steve-O. Nothing more to be said about him.

Sunglasses finally spoke up. “I decided against anything with wheels for this and threw it in the back of the van, Steve-O. We can come back in the daytime tomorrow for skate shots. There are a lot less lights the farther in the park we go.”

“Knox, you IDIOT, I’m planning on being so fucking hungover tomorrow! I’m on my GAME now, man, you shoulda brought it!” He bent down to gather up two fists of snow, mash them together, and hurl the mass toward Johnny.

“If you want it so bad, go back an’ get it!” He grinned while dodging the poorly aimed snowball and jumped over to rap Steve-O on the ass with the back of his hand. This garnered a slow, deep, huffy giggling from Pontius. It was less of a giggle, more of a devious huh-huh-huh. It sounded like something you’d hear in the boys’ locker room but if it came from the throat of a grown man.

The little spanking sparked a quick scuffle between Steve-O and Johnny. After nearly slipping and falling, he gave up on trying to fuck with the taller man and hardened his resolve to skate in the snow. “UGH! I’ll be back…” After a beat of wily consideration he added, “Or not!” Steve-O then darted off in the direction of the pub, almost slipped again, and slowed his stumbling gait. If he was headed toward booze he was probably going to get another round. A round of…something.

Chris and Johnny shared a look and the Santa-hatted one asked, “Who’s going with him? It’s law that we use the buddy system in all foreign lands, especially when we don’t want to get arrested. More arrested than we get when the cameras are rolling. Those times are okay.”

Johnny spoke first. “I’ll stay to map out where Jeff thinks we can get the money shots. Y/N probably needs to mess with the camera settings.”

“Actually, yeah,” you uttered, reviving from a slight stupor of quiet observation and remembering your role in all of this. “This would be our first night footage of the trip and I haven’t experimented with the exposure or what type of flash I can—”

“Okay nerd on, genius, I’ll go,” Chris interrupted. He smiled and bowed himself out in the direction of Steve-O and the pub.

“Better hurry, Pontius! Something tells me the board ain’t the priority now,” Johnny called out. You watched as the smoke from his breath dissipated into the cold and the two of you continued away from what seemed like the rest of civilization.

********

The other men gone from sight, your physical awareness of Johnny dialed up. Though he was lean, he seemed to exude heat through his black peacoat. Maybe you were imagining things. But you dared to draw a couple inches closer to assess. He slowed his gait and you veered right back over and even sped up a little. You thought you heard a quiet laugh come from his side of the path.

‘Dammit, Y/N, fucking stay focused,’ you thought to yourself. You can’t give them anything to get you on; it was more important to you than any legal trouble. You were here to relieve Lance after one too many trips involving vomit-on-the-camera incidents. You had a job to do, you had creative input to offer, and you didn’t have to let on that you found one of the guys so hot you couldn’t stand it. That fact could be kept firmly TO YOURSELF. The need to keep it a secret almost hyped it up to an obsession. You found yourself stealing photos during planning sessions, when you were 95% certain that no one would notice. Since you were such a dedicated crew member, the team assumed you were experimenting with angles or compiling a look-book or something.

Sure, you took candids of everyone. But the most recurring subject by far was Johnny Knoxville. There were the obvious features that caught your eye, mostly when he laughed, all white teeth and crow’s feet. After a while you noticed how he stood kind of funny, whether that was from past back injuries, weak glutes, or a touch of valgus knee deformity you weren’t sure. It didn’t at all detract from the beauty of those long legs or the defined torso they led up to. Certainly didn’t ruin his painfully (for you) deep iliac furrows smack dab in the middle of it all. And you weren’t going to get started on his arms or shoulders or jawline. He really took your love for anatomy and smacked you upside the head with it. He was art and you were insane.

Your stupid little fangirl crush even had you calling him ‘Johnny Knoxville’ in your head instead of PJ. It was like how you still called your teachers ‘Mr/Ms/Mx’ after graduating from school, even though they gave you permission to be on a first-name basis. It was hard to get comfortable with others like that. Another reason why you wanted this chance at a different work environment even if it was just temporary. You sorely needed to relax, Y/N. Unclench your jaw, take a breath, stop the shoulders from migrating upwards, and just keep walking. Sometimes the set of Jackass was not the ideal setting to work on those goals—all of those damn pranks—but…

“Lost in thought, puddin’?” you heard in your ear. You didn’t so much hear them as felt the words slap your skin from behind, the shock of wet heat in the cold air startling you. The streetlamps brightened in your peripheral vision.

You spun around and couldn’t help the nervous fake-laugh that escaped. “Oh, uh, yeah, you could say that. Just handling a lot of little things right now. Like the jet-lag, that European alcohol hitting a little stronger, the cold being colder here somehow, filming schedule, the list goes on, man." You hoped adding 'man’ would lend the illusion of you being chill, cool, totally not in fight-or-flight mode a moment ago.

It didn’t. There was an awkward silence as he stood facing you. Behind the shades you couldn’t see the mischief in his eyes as he planned out where he was going to take this. To you it just looked like staring. ‘Fucking dammit,’ you swore at yourself, ‘I don’t know if he KNOWS knows but he knows something is up. Agh, focus on work, FOCUS ON WORK.’

You cleared your throat, pulled namaste out of your ass, and shifted the power of the interaction back on your side with, “Hey, why don’t you stand over by that statue and help me with shot composition.”

“Yes, boss, on the double!” His tone was playfully condescending as he headed over to the metal figure, an unknown man outlined in snow. “Anything for you, sweetheart.” He let the last word drag out lower and slower than the rest. You had to fight your dead brain to let you breathe again. He was going to fuck with you, alright, and it was going to happen tonight. But for his own fun, no cameras in sight other than yours. There was always a chance of one of those goofy assholes hiding in a bush, but your gut told you there were none. No one else was going to be around for this, but you weren’t sure how thankful you were. You were flooded with several thoughts at once. How far would he go? How far did you want him to go? Did Jackass have HR? What was their policy on a creator/actor doing unspeakable things to a camera person with his mouth? Could the van be moved for about 90 minutes tonight without anyone knowing? Was he all dom or a switch? How easy would it be to get him to giggle during a blowjob?

Fuck. Focus.

‘FUCK,’ you thought as, for some ungodly reason, Knox put his tongue to the statue’s ear. The side of your neck began to tingle where his breath had been several minutes ago; memory is a powerful thing. You shook your head to regroup.

“Better pray you don’t end up like that kid in A Christmas Story,” you deadpanned.

He looked away and called out toward the woods at the edge of the park, “Nah, I’m too wet for that. That…that’s the secret.” You saw his back shuddering slightly, probably with laughter, and tried to see deeper into the trees. Not a soul was detected.

“You’ll be wetter when that statue comes to life and throws you in the river.”

He turned back toward you. “Naw, I think he likes it,” he grinned as wedged his body even closer to the metal and began to run a hand slowly down its torso. For the first time he made eye contact with you over his glasses and you dared not break it while his hand migrated further and further south. “And I think he’s not the only one, darlin’,” he drawled, his tone growing deeper and darker by the second. Two fingers began to lazily graze between the statue’s legs. And, as if that wasn’t enough, his hips ground into what had to be extremely cold and extremely hard metal. He let out a low sigh into the winter air.

This probably lasted just a moment but it felt like an eternity as you stood watching him, unable to do anything else, not quite believing what you were seeing. Your eyes were glued to where you thought his dick was, where you thought you saw an outline begin to show. He kept at it, grinding and sighing and caressing against that fucking statue, only averting his gaze to let his eyes roll back into his head and flutter shut. Which he made sure you could see with the shades slid all the way down the bridge of his nose. The whole thing was insane but you could not stop the cascade of heat and desire from building inside you. It’s like the more it shouldn’t be happening, the more you were into it. You wanted to look around and check for the crew for the umpteenth time but couldn’t tear your eyes from him. Johnny Knoxville was getting freaky on a statue to tease you and you were simmering in your own juices.

Like.

What the actual fuck?

Okay, case closed, he definitely knew.

Uhh… Just try to own it now?

“You know what, you whore?! It’s gonna be really fucking awkward when my underwear freezes out here!”

He finally broke, fell away from the statue, and dissolved into laughter on the ground. You hoped your boldness would recuperate a bit of your cred and he’d back off. (You hoped he wouldn’t back off.)

“The working conditions, here, honestly…” you said as your hands came to your hips.

His maniacal glee, normally adorable when it wasn’t tied up in such a stressful and sexy situation, died out and he regained upright footing. He didn’t bother to brush the snow off his coat or shake out what had peppered his hair. He took off his sunglasses and folded them into the inner pocket of his coat. He smiled down at you and you felt him gently grab your shoulders. “You’re so wound up, Y/N,” he remarked with genuine care in his voice.

The touch and proximity made you stiffen; your arms dropped to your sides. His breath smelled like booze and you wanted to drown in it.

His fingers laced together behind your shoulders and slid down to rest at the small of your back; you instinctively grabbed at his forearms. “Gotta learn how to relax, baby.” He jerked your lower half into him and you could feel that you had not, in fact, been imagining that dick. With that, you felt the last of your good sense rocket away, leaving a long-imprisoned whine in its wake.

He dipped his head down to your ear and growled, “How loud does that kitty purr?”

No words.

No thoughts.

Your head threatened to crack off of your spine but he caught the back of it with one hand, the other snaked firmly around the rest of you, as his lips made contact with your neck. Soft kisses were syncopated with nibbles, the heat of his mouth searing your skin in contrast to the chilly air. His tongue was so wet and so warm against your flesh. You all but dripped for him.

“Van,” you demand.

He takes your hand, grins, and leads you out of the park toward the town.

The two of you make it to the van and he takes space in the driver’s seat. The engine comes to life relatively quietly—thank god for hybrids—and he maneuvers it onto a darkened side street several blocks down. You seem to be surrounded by a bunch of businesses closed down for the night but you also don’t have a single fuck to give now. You slide a hand over the rod in his pants and his lips part with a groan.

Hunger takes hold and you lunge over the console to catch his mouth in a voracious kiss. Tongue and teeth everywhere. Even the smallest hints of pleasure out of this man are going to drive you wild tonight. But you want—you NEED—to savor the experience. The movements of your jaw slow and the space between your lips closes as you center yourself. His lips come together but his breath continues hard and deep through his nose. His eyes are shut tight as if he's exercising control as well. You pepper kisses across his cheek, down his neck, and back up to his ear where you sigh your contentment.

“Mmm, sweetheart, I’m gonna need to hear more of that,” he says low in your ear. Your belly flutters up into your chest and you think you might fall in love, like an idiot.

He kisses you deeply and pulls you with him into the back of the van. The heat of the exchange melts off both your coats. A sleeping bag is found, unzipped, and laid down. Not that the two of you notice the cold all that much, it just seems like the right thing to do in a van that carts around the Jackass crew. He is a bit more discerning than some of his co-stars.

He unzips your pants and slides them down your legs. You sit up to help kick them off along with your shoes. He takes off your shirt, leaving you just in your bra, socks, and panties. You love how exposed you must look and how vulnerable you feel. He looks you in the eye, smirks, looks down at your hips, licks his lips. Your thighs squeeze together with anticipation and your moan spells out your need.

He lowers himself down, still clothed, onto your nearly naked body and lays his lips all over your skin. He slides across you lazily and you can’t stand how good his clothes feel against you. You can’t wait for that dick to be out and in your mouth. It’s how you want to show him how good he’s making you feel. The way he takes the fabric of your panties in his fingertips tells you he has his own priorities.

“May I?”

“May you what?”

He smiles and toys with the bows stitched to the elastic around your hips. He takes the band in his teeth and looks you in the eye as he lets it snap against you.

“Eat out that pretty pussy of yours, doll. It’s all wrapped up for me like a present under the tree.”

You’re not able to make a joke about stealing Chris’s Santa hat. You can only reach down and start to wiggle the remaining cotton off, with which Knox happily helps. The bra and socks follow suit and a cheeky kiss to your foot garners a giggle.

Things get very serious again when he positions his face in front of your heat. He hugs your hips to him and rests his large hands down on you. You can’t help but buck up into the contact when his lips meet yours. His soft, wet tongue feels so fucking good. Your hands find his hair and you rake your nails through it. Every time you look down he’s either got his eyes closed, lids fluttering in the prettiest way, or he’s looking right back at you. Each moan from your mouth elicits self-assured hums from his and it drives you to desperately need more.

“Need you in me, Knox,” you demand.

He looks up at you again with those deep brown eyes and doesn’t say a word.

“Want you in my mouth first. I want to taste that dick.”

He pulls himself up and you all but tear the black and white KNOXVILLE belt through the loops of his Dickies. He frees his hard cock and you pause to take it in with your eyes first.

“It may not be the biggest but right now you got me harder than—aaughh..” The whole rest of him stiffens up and he bites into his knuckles as you take in the tip. He relaxes with a deep sigh as you try to swallow the shaft down and gag when your lips meet his hilt.

‘That’ll do just fine,’ you think to yourself.

You keep it slow to draw it out, slow but deliberate with licking and sucking. You work his cock with your mouth until you lose yourself in the act. You love every single sound this man is making and commit them to memory. And his taste, how the pre-cum doesn’t stop oozing. The way his head is thrown back with his mouth wide open, gasping. How he can’t touch you enough right now. Every few moments you turn your attention to his balls and thighs and that delicious V leading down to it all. The feel and scent of his skin is intoxicating and you’re biting light marks into his flesh. You get so far gone you stop murmuring his name and start to call him Daddy. His cock twitches every time.

He takes a deep, clarifying breath before taking your chin in his hand and speaking, “I’m so ready to slide right in, baby. Will you let Daddy fill you up?”

“Fuck me.”

The van space is tight but you lie down and he holds himself over you, cock at your entrance. You’re practically vibrating with anticipation.

Finally.

He drives the head of his cock slowly into your pussy and the feeling is so warm and sweet and intimate. Birth control be damned; you’ll get emergency contraception in the morning. Your arms and legs wrap around him possessively as he works into a rhythm. You rock your hips with his to catch his cock at the right angle. He finds your mouth in the dark and moans into you as he thrusts. He’s downright fucking you into the floor of the van and strangely you haven’t felt this whole and alive in a long time. Your orgasm is building and building but you want even more of him before you come.

“I wanna ride you, Johnny,” you gasp.

“Thought you’d never ask. Be my guest, doll,” he answers as he pulls out of you and arranges the sleeping bag across the van’s bench. He takes a seat and slaps his thighs with a grin, erection bobbing around invitingly.

You climb on top of him, legs quivering with eagerness, and take just a moment to pause before sinking slowly down onto his cock.

His answering groan draws you against his chest, sighing into him, as you get to work riding. It’s your turn to fuck him into the van.

You both wrap your arms around each other, but no one can get close enough. Thrusting, humping, clawing, kissing, biting, sucking, moaning—the two of you going at each other like animals. (His glutes are NOT, in fact, weak.) Your legs are tiring but you push yourself to keep going. Closer and closer your end nears. He knows it because his teeth are clenching as your pussy is tightening around him. He’s fighting to not cum before you.

“Don’t stop, baby, don’t stop. Keep on riding me. Keep grinding that sweet little thing on my cock.”

You pick up speed.

“Come for me, sweetheart.”

He squeezes your ass tighter.

“Good girl, I can feel it. Come for Daddy…”

That’s it. Your cunt squeezes up inside of you and smashes down around his dick in a primal, undulating frenzy. There’s an explosion of stars behind your eyelids. He’s yelling out your name and digging his fingers deeper into your hips as his orgasm spills hot inside you.

********

After unmeasured moments, breaths began to slow and a contented stillness fell over the van like snow upon the ground. The two of you wrapped each other up in an embrace and held on tight without a word. It wasn’t much longer until your brain woke back up and began to wander. You knew you were going to think back on this night many, many times when you were back home alone. You’d feel the ghost of his breath and his lips on your skin. You’d ache to hear him moan your name again. AND, FUCK, THE PLAN B--

Gentle laughter broke out, as if he could read your mind. He couldn’t, of course. But it was so very easy to tell when you were uneasy. And Knox was an excellent people reader.

“Just don’t think about anything right now, sweetheart,” he assured you.

“Johnny, I…” You began and trailed off, unsure of what to voice first.

“Call me PJ,” he smiled and placed a kiss on your head. “And don’t you worry about a thing. I’ll stop by a pharmacy soon as they open. The guys are gonna need some Tylenol, too, I bet. I’ll get us all sorted.” And he sealed his promise shut with a squeeze of your shoulders. Not a mind reader, but definitely thoughtful and at times very practical. Always aware of what’s going on around him.

You trusted him. Probably more than you should, but you did. And you gave whatever energy you had left over to the effort of not thinking. You had no idea how long it had been since you checked the time, when the sun was coming up, or what the two of you would do next. What this would mean for the rest of the shoot. But, if you’re gonna be dumb….

----------------------------------------------------------------

Several hours post-coupling in the van, after the sun came out for vengeance, you found yourself hanging with Pontius at a near-by café. You felt calmest around him out of all the crew and were happy to listen to his stories for distraction. Distraction from your anxiety and the various aches in your body. What you had really wanted was a diner that served greasy food and heinously strong coffee, but they didn’t have those here. Chris must share the need. He was still sporting the Santa hat and some serious bags under his eyes. There was what appeared to be lipstick smeared down his neck, but it was…stippled? From…the only idea that came to mind was another man’s stubble. But he never asked about the way you weren’t walking right, so you paid the favor forward.

His words drifted away from big cats and other wildlife, and he shifted conversation topics. “Crazy night last night, huh,” he said.

“Lord. You bet,” you answered. Oh, here we go.

“What time did you turn in last night? Or this morning?” He batted his lashes and played with the cotton puff at the end of his hat before flipping it to the other side. It invoked the atmosphere of girlies at a sleepover sharing the latest gossip.

“Oh, you know…” Your face reddened a little and you looked down into your steaming coffee mug.

He brought his up to his mouth for a sip and stared you down over it. “Do you happen to know where—"

Your phone buzzed in your back pocket and you pulled it out automatically.

“Hey, doll, where did you run off to?” Your heartbeat quickened and you smirked despite yourself. You didn’t need to look up at the sender to know who it was from.

“Know where what,” you offered with no doubt a dazed look in your eyes.

You were definitely going to need a therapist after this job was through.

[jawnjendes]

You Don’t Go To Parties

Summary: Johnny tried his best with her. He wanted to be the best for her. But what Daisy wanted didn’t match that anymore. She wanted “space” and didn’t specify how much or for how long or if she was still his baby. So Johnny left with his tail between his legs and waited for her to call.

He couldn’t tell you how long it’s been since that day, he’s been wasted ever since. Yes, he partied and got wasted a lot but this was different. Usually Daisy was with him, and up until recently Johnny thought that she was taking in all the fun too.

AN: hi, this is a one shot that takes place during the events of my fic sweet as pie, tough as nails. you don’t Have to go back and read the entire fic in order to make sense of this one shot, but it would make me very happy if u did. i think i wrote in enough context to make this a stand alone story, so hopefully it’s not confusing for anyone who’s stumbling upon this series for the first time! hope y’all enjoy a few thousand words of drunk and pathetic johnny knoxville💛

[sucker4sixx]

Barracuda

From 2023!

Plot: johnny and reader meet eachothers after a pretty shitty breakup...

Warnings: dirty smut, degrading, praising, public sex, sad topics, online bullying, alcohol, talk of death, anger, cursing

It had been a long, lonely six months since you and johnny broke up. You got invited out to a club by bam who you still kept in contact with after separating from the rest of the jackass boys, he insisted you came since he missed drinking with you and he would "help you find a new 'fuck bunny'" as he put it. It was no secret you where nervous to see johnny again, but that was to be expected. Johnny was the best lover you ever had and you hadnt seen him since week you broke up to give his old shirts back.

You wore a short dark purple dress with fish net tights and black heels, you wanted to blend in with bam as much as possible. *RING RING* you jumped causing you to tug on your earring that you where halfway through putting in your ear, the pain stinging as you flipped your phone open and balanced it between your head and shoulder "hey bam bam" "hey fuck face ill be out front in ten" "perf, thanks" you took five glasses of strong moon juice before leaving to get you more in the mood

The rasp of an engine screamed from outside your small house and you knew it was bam without looking. Quickly you pushed your feet into your black heels and shoved on a plain leather jacket, carefully trotting out to his purple lambo that reflected off the sun that set making the sky a peaceful orange colour "hey bammy" "stop with the stupid ass nicknames, turd" "only when you do" he went silent before giggling alittle "just get your fuckin seat belt on" "yes sir"

Arriving, bam took your hand leading you in, as planned your outfits matched with colour "hey y/n! I didnt know you where coming!" Chris spoke, smoking at the entrance "heya chris, its been awhile" "for sure, see ya inside buddy" bam nods a hello to him and you both walk in, the bar was decently busy. You where led to where ryan sat, beer in hand "hey ry" "hello m'lady" he smiled warmly up at you, you had seen ryan on the occasion since he was always hanging out with bam.

The cheap couch you three sat on was starting to hurt your arse so you decided to have a walk around to see if you could find anymore of the men who you hadnt saw in too long.

You reached the bar and made the mistake of resting your bare arms on the sticky counter, regretting taking off your jacket and leaving it with bam. "Hi, two cans of ciders please" you say to the bartender, sliding him five dollars. He continued to serve the people who had ordered before you giving you time to look around. Your eyes scanned the crowd of badly dressed 20yr olds untill they focused on a tall man who stood staring at you while a woman tried to dance with him "shit..." you muttered, turning back round. Johnny was the last person you wanted to see right now and oh god did he look hot, a tight white tee-shirt that showed off every inch of his toned chest and blue pants that you wish you where on your knees zipping the fly down on, but his ego and your dignity were the only thing stopping you "hi doll face" you heard from behind you only minutes later, deep raspy southern accent... wonder who that is "hey johnny" turning round and seeing the smug look on his face would make you rage so you decided just to keep facing the bar, composing yourself was the smartest decision you could make right now "who ya here with?" Go away. "Just bam" "you two are getting real close" the bar tender handed you your change and your two ciders, finally releasing you from him "whats it to you?" You asked rhetorically, walking back to bam and ryan.

You didnt want to tell them the previous events, scared of ruining their night or their mood "you didnt get any for me?" Bam asked, a dirty look on his face "no?" You laughed almost as if he was stupid for even asking, which he was. You couldnt help but look around to look for johnny whenever you where away in thought, the effect he has always had on you was strong and you felt like a highschool girl looking for her crush in the hall way.

"Hey bam, ryan" a voice spoke infront of you, johnny. Atleast it saves you accidentally pulling a neck muscle looking around for him "hey ass face, sit down!" Bam was doing this purely to annoy you, moving towards ryan so that johnny was forced to sit next to you. He didnt bother talking to you, laughing and talking with bam and ryan while you sat awkwardly, drinking the last of your cider. God you couldnt help but look at his chests, soon he will be needing a bra more than you will. Its kinda hot though "sweetheart, stop staring your getting drool allover yourself" your head snapped up and he sat smiling at you that god damn smile that made you wanna slap it off him "i was daydreaming, and dont call me that" "youve never been good at excuses" you just shrugged and went back to your cider to hint that you really werent interested in talking to him "so whats been going on with you?" Johnny asked, the smile away but surprisingly not due to your back hand "nothing much, its only been six months. You?" You already knew his life was so much more interesting "well... nothin" oh? "What?

Youve not been doing anything? I mean cmon your johnny knoxville your never not doing anything" he just shrugged and furrowed his brows in a guilty way "its hard when ive not got my partner in crime around" the last thing you needed was sappyness from him, you werent over him at all and spent every night crying into that one teeshirt you left behind "jeff i ment, hes been on holiday" "what a fucking gentleman" he laughed that laugh he usually done and nudged you slightly "cmon, cheer up im only jokin!"

Why is he so calm and so happy? Is he not hurt? Did you not mean a single thing to him? Its only been six fucking months and hes as happy as youve ever saw him yet your so down. He caught on to this pretty fast.

"Johnny, how do you do that?" You knew it might start shit but why shouldnt you know "do what?" Sigh "your so cheerful so fast" "reword that doll i dont understand" you turned your head away in embarrassment "just askin if you want a drink?" You gaslighted him to make him think he miss heard you, he raised his brow knowing full well that you where lying "yeah sure, lets go" you had expected him to decline like he always did (because he hated the thought of you slaving around for him) and escape to the dance floor. You sat on a bar stool, him sitting on the one next to it "two ciders and two beers" you say sliding the bartender a ten "love life?" Johnny asks suddenly, catching you off gaurd "huh? What? No!" A laugh escaped both your lips "no love life" you added for good measure "you?" He just shrugs "hardly" johnny clears his throat and looks around alwardly "so how have you really been" "yeah really good!" LIE "the quite life is definitely for me" LIE "Oh really? I thought that was just an excuse to get away from me"

-

You sat at home after coming home early from some stupid skit that would definitely leave johnny dead if it was preformed wrong, you stormed from the set and drove home. He doesnt consider your feelings and what your life would be like if he died from some stupid stunt.

You went home and opened your computer when a news tab popped up "johnny knoxville seen in public

HOLDING HIS GIRLFRIENDS HAND" what?reluctantly you opened it. It was just a picture of you two walking holding hands literally nothing out of the ordinary. You jumped to the comments to see if they would agree that thats literally nothing. Nope.

"Stupid skank!" "Shes too ugly for him!" "Im his perfect girl" "hes too hot, someone break them up"

News report after news report the comments where the same and looking at them was self destruction. Johnny had argued with you multiple times for seeing them or for leaving his work early because you where scared if he died. Recently he had been pent up due to work and had accidentally been taking it out on you.

"Im leaving i cant do this" you whispered to yourself, walking up to your shared room. You got the huge suitcase that u had bough for your holiday in spain only a few months before hand. Once that was full you packed your bags up with everything that couldnt fit.

One by one you brought the bags to the door, ready to lift them into your car

*CLICK*

The front door opened and johnny stood staring at you with an expression either of fear, worry or confusion"oh your home early" he just nodded, staring at your bags

"yeah i decided not to do it, you going on holiday?" You stopped for a moment to decide if you really wanted to do this but it had been on your mind for awhile, if you didnt do it now you would be happy "no pj, im leaving" suddenly he turned his back and locked the door "no your fucking not" "pj please..." he held his back against the door, a horrified look on his face and tears welling in his eyes "baby i cant let you go" "but its for the best" you wiped the tears that ran down your cheeks "your not thinking straight, you need to stop" he pointed an accusing finger at you"i am, please move stop making this more difficult" you walked towards the door and tried to pull him away from it "why are you wanting to leave me, i love you" his voice had gone dark and croaky and he didnt bother wiping the tears that ran down his cheeks away "this is too much for me, you hurt yourself without thinking of the after effects. I wouldnt be able to live if you got seriously hurt. Youve been seriously nagging me for ages i feel like your my parent! The things people say online about me are getting worse, i need a quite life away from..." you trailed off "me?"johnny asked, you just nodded, he grabbed you into a hug "no no no dont leave me i can tell them to stop, ill be better for you" "let me go" you pleaded, the tears streaming onto his shirt now. As if a switch went off he let go and stormed into the living room "fuck!" You could hear him shout, you took your chance and unlocked the door, pushing all your bags to your car "what the fuck!" You could still hear him screaming, trying to make sense of it all. Once your car was full you looked back to the front door that still lay open, no sight of johnny waiting to wave you goodbye. You left to go back to your own small apartment, seeing him appear at his door watching your car leave.

A week later you built up your courage to give johnny back a few shirts he had left at yours or just gave to you.

You arrived at his front door and knocked it loud so that he couldnt use 'i didnt hear you' as an excuse.

*CLICK*

johnny answered the door, he hadnt shaved or been to sleep in ages it looked like, his hair all scruffy and house dark and stinky "what?" His voice croaked "just giving you back your stuff" he took the shirts from your hands and put them on the table in the house giving you a chance to glance around and the un cared for home

"that all?" "Yeah i uh-" "bye" he grumbles over you, slamming the door in your face.

-

The bar tender slides you both your cans and the change, johnny cracks open a can and brings it to his lips "how are you doing?" You ask him "surviving" he gave a loose smile "definitely better than i was, that wasnt my proudest moment" he giggled drinking a little bit more of his drink "im sorry for leaving" the topic had gone sad and dense and you could feel the alcohol making a sour turn in your mood "do you regret it?" You took a quick swig of your cider and tapped your fingers off the can anxiously "you know... yeah i guess, but the comments about me where too much i dont think i could put myself through that again" he shakes his head "forget about all that shit, what about me? Do you regret leaving me?" He desperately searched your eyes, the same look that he showed when he saw u with the suitcases. Tears in both your eyes now, the silence dragged out too long.

His mouth opened to say something but you quickly stopped him by crashing your lips off his, he brought his left hand up to cradle your face, running circles on your cheek with his thumb as he usually did. Very quickly his tongue slid into your mouth, the bitter taste of whiskey and vodka from his and the strong moon juice and cider from yours dancing between your mouths. He pulled away, his eyes dark with lust that you have never seen before "i need you darlin, like real bad" suddenly his voice was deep and southern, the exact way that turned you on "ill call a cab" once again he shook his head "no i cant wait that long". With a tight grip of your hand johnny was dragging you from the bar to the single mens bathroom, bathroom sex sounded fun but you groaned knowing that mens bathrooms were already filthy enough.

As soon as the door slammed shut johnny was cornering you to the door kissing your neck greedily making you moan and hold the back of his head, encouraging him to continue. "Take your clothes off honey" he spoke with a rasp, moving himself away to remove his own clothes. Once you had finished you made your way to him, kissing his neck back while he took off his boxers revealing his dick that was already leaking and red "bend over the sink for me like a good girl" you obliged, resting your arms on the sink that was decaying at the corners, infront of you stood a mirror that had a crack near the top and was stained slightly.

Through it you could see johnny walking up behind you, eyes filled with dangerous amounts of lust as he crouched under you. An evil giggle sounded from under you, johnny gripped the back of your thighs tight while he slowly dragged the tip of his tongue through your folds making you gasp and buckle your knees. "Oh fuck" you whispered through your hand that covered your mouth. Slowly he started licking your clit to tease you, with every painfully slow lick your eyes would clench and moans fell out your mouth "johnny please... go faster" you forced out "pardon doll?" He knew fine well but used it as an excuse just to stop and made you huff "go faster" you desperately pleaded "faster?" "Please..." before you could finish speaking johnny shoved two fingers inside your dripping head and flicked his tongue over your clit repetitively making you quite literally scream in pleasure, gripping onto the sink for dear life.

"Johnny.. slow down" you gasped, struggling to even stand as he continued to plow his fingers into you and make out with your clit "dont act like you dont want this doll" he spoke from under you, he wasnt wrong.

You wouldve been angry as shit if he stopped. Loud moans continued to bark out your mouth, your forehead started to hurt from resting it against the mirror.

Only a minute later he had you weaker, melting against the sink while your legs helplessly shook. Curses spilled out your mouth "fuck... fuck johnny im going to cum"

"cmon darlin, cum around my fingers" with that ur moans where out of controll, he had suck a way with words. "Fuck im-" your moan was cut off by confusion as he pulled out "johnny what the fuck?" He got up and put his hands on the sink infront of you, looking at you through the mirror with a evil smile "god you look so hot when your mad sweetheart" his hand slithered to your neck where he held it up, not hard but hard enough. With a quick movement he shoved his cock into you, making your eyes roll back and a guttural moan scream from you "you want everyone to hear you? Hear you like the little slut you are?" He mocked, continuing to slam his hips upward. You forgot that the bar wasn't extremely busy and if anyone went near the bathroom door they would hear you without a doubt

"hm? Is that a yes? You like them hearing me stuffing you with my fat cock?" You nodded feverishly earning loud grunt from him "good girl"

Soon his strong thrusts became shakey, your mind somehow managing to catch on to the song in the back round, barracuda by heart the song that played when you and johnny first had sex. His grip in your hair tightened almost scalping you as his moans became louder, you looked at him through the mirror the realisation finally setting in. This is the last time, isnt it?

You shed tears as you came around him without warning due to your moans becoming silent from the distracting thought "fuck sweetie, you feel amazing... where should i-" "inside pi" he grabbed you into a hug as he continued to fuck you from behind, a clear reaction to the nickname that u hadnt called him in ages "fuck... oh shit" his grip tightened around your torso as you felt his warm cum filling you up.

He stayed like that for a few, hot breath making itself comfortable in the crease of your neck. You still silently cried without him noticing. "Fuck that was great" he finally spoke, pulling out and instantly cleaning you both up with the rough toilet paper that sat ontop of the toilet. "Yeah" you said blandly, pulling your clothes back on "doll? Look at me." Reluctantly you faced him, red puffy eyes giving away that you were crying "ah, shit.. did i hurt you?” You just shook your head, biting your cheeks to keep in the agonising cries that you let out everyday "speak to me" johnny pulled on his boxers and sat on the toilet lid, you standing like a lost child at the door trying so hard not to cry. Instead of just standing there you walked over to him and sat on his lap, resting your head on his shoulder.

"I cant live without you" you felt pathetic, so utterly pathetic. Sitting in the lap of the man thats heart you broke, crying into his shoulder. A small sniffle sounded behind your ear and you felt his big arms wrap around you "you mean it?" "Pi, breaking up was the worse decision of my life. I beat myself up for it everyday" he just grasped you into a tighter hug, properly crying now breaking your heart by the second, you broke such a strong man. "Cmon honey, lets go back to my place yeah?" He sniffed "yeah lets go"

Once you both decided it was okay you left, a couple of people drawing you dirty looks "y/n!" Bam shouted from behind the both of you, you turned round to see him standing with a random guy "thus is ted hes your fuck bunny for tonight" thats when johnny turned round and bam finally realised what was going on

"what the fuck!" He shouted as you and johnny ran to the door, calling a cab giggling like children.

The house was no different than you had left it apart from the pictures of you where not up on the walls anymore. You made your way to his bedroom and he offered you one of his teeshirts to wear to sleep.

Spooning him was like finally taking a drug that you decided to stop for some reason, his scent invading you but you couldnt care less

"Night doll" he spoke softly in your ear with a sleepy raspy voice "night darling" you replied, earning a huge grin from him that you could feel forming at your neck....

[louscartridge]

Johnny knoxville talks ypu through it.

[johnny-coxville]

I hate to indulge in the worst parts of myself but would you write a Knoxville x reader smut where he has a piss kink? Not like pissing on her but like bladder control. If not i completely understand :)

This took ages to get around to, but I've done it! It's relatively short and didn't turn out really how I wanted it. Feel free to request another with a little more detail, and I'll gladly rewrite it. :) If you're not interested in the request above, just keep scrolling. No kink-shaming will be tolerated on my page.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Johnny Knoxville x fem!reader nsfw

♡

Warmth

Johnny was always seen as a kinky guy. He would indulge in almost anything thrown his way. Mainly interested in your kinks, using them against you. Intimidating you and catching you off guard, but also increasing your pleasure by the loads.

Being relatively drunk one night, you spilled some things to your new boyfriend, that you really didn't intend on doing. One of these things being your interest in urolagnia. Or just better known as a piss kink.

You two were pretty drunk just goofing around in a back lot office. You two were supposed to be editing footage, but you both had other things in plan. Spinning around in office chairs you two giggled. Empty bottles of beer littered the wooden floor. You were easier drunk than Johhny, yet still pretty aware of what was going on.

He spun his chair in your direction, trying to grab your arm to pull you with him, though failing and nearly tipping his chair. You both laughed hysterically. Sliding your chairs away from one another. He perked his head up looking at you. You cocked an eyebrow a moment, questioning what he might say. “Truth or Dare.” He said spinning in a circle.

“Truth or Dare?” You questioned. “Dare!” You exclaimed with a smile. He stroked his stubble humming in thought. “I dare you to sit on my lap.” He said with a stupid grin. You groaned. You pushed yourself out of the swivel chair, swigging the beer you left beside you. Dropping it back to the ground. Making your way to him, you squeezed onto his lap.

Your legs hanging between the gaps of the arms on the chair. “Truth or dare Johnny.” You said tapping your nose against his. Without a second's hesitation, he blurted out dare. “I dare you tooo.. pour the last of your beer into my mouth.” You said looking over to his side.

He picked up the beer that rested on the floor next to him. Bringing it to your lips, you tilted your head back. Taking the last of the cold beer into your mouth, you swallowed and brought your head back forward. Eye to eye with him.

He sat the empty bottle back on the floor, groaning as he leaned down. Coming back up to your face he grinned. “Truth or dare baby.” He said blowing air at you. His breath reeked of mellow beer. “Truth..” You said, drawing out the word. “What’s your kinkiest kink.” He said wrapping arms around the back of your neck.

You thought about it for a moment. “I think pee.” You said wracking your head for what may be considered kinky. “Pee?” Johhny snickered. “You want me to piss on you?” He said almost choking on his laughter. “No!” You shoved his chest. Pushing the chair a couple feet back.

“I just. I don’t know. I-” you were cut off by Johhny blurting out his own kink. “I have a kink for watching girls desperately hold in their pee.” He said almost completely nonchalantly. You blinked in disbelief for a moment. “You what.” You said blankly.

You tried to slowly scoot off of him, hoping not to be embarrassed and be roped into his antics. Though he moved his hands from your neck down to your waist. Dragging you back closer. “You heard me.” He shrugged. You had no idea whether he was being serious or just trying to play into your own kink.

You didn't want to question it, so you just played along. You cocked an eyebrow a moment. Unsure of what to say to him. You darted your eyes around the office, hoping that you both would move on from the moment. Unfortunately for you, that wasn't the case. “So. Do you need to.. Pee?” He questioned.

You were already entirely not up for this. Sure it was your thing, but he would more than likely carry on whatever moment you two may have with this to humiliate you. Being that it was already too late to back out, you simply obliged. “I mean. Yeah. A bit.” You said softly.

He hummed in response. With that simple response, brought about a long night. A night Johnny loves to bring back up in the heat of the moment. Just to fluster you. He forced you to hold your blatter for almost two hours. Making out with you, and listening to you whine. Bouncing you on his leg, smiling in power. He held his urine too. Though not making a big deal out of it.

Being that you were both drunk, Johnny went first. By this point, you had both stripped down to your underwear. You sat in nothing but your bra and underwear. While Johnny simply sat under you in his boxers. You two were wrapped up in one another. Kissing with hot faces.

Johnny had shifted and groaned. Squeezing you close, he let go of himself. He could take no more and jutted his hips up. A warm sensation wetting your own underwear as he peed. A sensation he had never really cared to think about when he normally urinated. You watched as his face shifted.

An almost confused expression. You gave in and let go as well. Shifting on his lap, and urinating. The feeling was nearly orgasmic. Once he felt you let go, he brought a hand down to your clit. Slipping his fingers inside to rub deep circles. This caught you off guard, and you immediately bit down on your lip.

Shaking your legs against him as your long-held blatter emptied. The sound of dripping piss smacking down to the floor. His fingers worked up the sensation. You gave up on keeping quiet, letting out a soft moan. He smiled.

Pre-cum dribbled from his tip. Having been teasing you for hours. He backed you up just slightly, as you recollected yourself. He pulled his fingers from your own panties. He pulled out his wet cock from his boxers and began to stroke it. Not saying a word, he simply admired your face.

His hand gripped himself tightly, stroking at a light pace turned into a furious one. He gritted his teeth as he held onto your thigh with his opposite hand. His lips parted, and he whispered. “I love you.” He sighed, as his cum simply dribbled down his length.

A thick white stream seeped out. You smiled. “I love you too..” He pulled you forward, only to wipe his cum on your stomach. You sneered and jumped off of him. Standing in the warm puddle of you both. You jumped back, now having wet pee socks. Gross..

You both needed to clean up. A massive mess of beer bottles, pee, and now jizz.

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[lexaknoxville]

THIS IS SO SPECIAL TO ME

JOHNNY KNOXVILLE LOML

This might be weird... but do you think you could do some head cannons of Johnny, Ryan, and Bam dating a high maintenance girl/a girly girl/maybe even a bimbo? Like a girl who loves shopping, getting her nails done, the color pink and all that? If not I understand!

Johnny, Ryan, and Bam Dating a High Maintenance Girl!

a/n: Omg this isn't weird to me at all!!! Hell I have even thought about what they would be like dating a girly girl, so I'm sorry if this is a super long headcannons list... But in my defense it was the 2000s and being a high maintenance girl was the thing right?

prompt: Title!

warnings: Fem!reader, very light smut, fluff, partying/drinking

Johnny

You two met when Johnny had a photoshoot for a magazine and was told last minute that he was going to model with a female model

At first he was a bit mad, he didn't really want to shoot with another person let alone a girl he would have to do some sort of sexual poses with

But when you walked in the door in your pink crop top, low rise jeans, pink heels with fluff on the tips, and your white hand bag he fell in love

He tried to keep it as professional as he could while shooting with you

Was quick to ask you out after the shoot, which you happily said yes too.

And the rest is history!

He knows very well that your high maintenance but he really doesn't care cause he loves it

Like after he gets ran over by a bull he likes going home and listening to how you got your nails done today and how you got 'JK' on them while you cuddle with him

It really brings him down to earth

He would love to go shopping with you

Though at first you would fight with him about paying because you had enough money to buy your own things but soon just let it happen cause you knew he wouldn't change his mind

Plus who doesn't like to be spoiled?

Johnny would love when you tried things on for him he would call it his own mini fashion show

Even though he thinks you look great in anything he still is iffy about the length of things...

"Whatda think Knox?"

"Baby you look great, really, but that skirt is no longer than half a ruler-"

But he would love picking out clothes for you, his favorite things to pick out for you being low rise jeans and cropped tank tops

But going back to him spoiling you...

I'm talking flowers, chocolate, clothes, ANYTHING.

He just loves seeing how excited you get :((

Even while he is away filming he would buy you stuff to surprise you when he gets home

"Hey Steve-o do ya think Yn would like this?"

Also when he is away filming he calls you as soon as he is finished filming for the day and tells you everything he did and you happily listen for hours until you both fall asleep on the phone

Weird side note but I feel like he has you keep random things in your purse for him??

Like lighters, chapstick, his sunglasses, really random things

You two 100% would match during red carpet events

Johnny always lets you pick your dress before he picks his suit though

A lot of your red carpet looks have probably been super popular with the press

The headlines in magazines probably say "See the outfits Johnny Knoxville and Yn Yl stole the carpet in once again!" or "See Johnny Knoxville's and Yn Yl's eye-catching matching look!" and maybe even "Johnny Knoxville and Yn Yl, the best dressed couple!"

Omg when you two go out and party with the Jackass guys it's always a good time

Even though Johnny thinks there is no reason for you to start getting ready at 7:25pm when you guys are leaving for the party till 11:30pm

But either way he always thinks you look great

Johnny could always be found near you no matter where you are

Whether it's standing outside of the bathroom to wait for you, sitting next to you with an arm around you, or him just standing behind you while you order something from the bar

But you usually love to dance at parties which isn't Johnny's strong suit...

So he happily watches as you dance with Chris (nothing handsy though) or one of your friends from the booth you guys claimed

You will usually come back and take a seat on Johnny's lap and he'll kiss the back of your neck

"You looked so good out there dancing doll."

But if a guy is flirting with you so god help him.

"You're a real pretty thing baby."

"Yeah and that 'real pretty things' boyfriend is going to rip ya a new ass if you don't back off."

When Johnny gets to drunk he will get handsy with you

Maybe even put a hand up your dress and with a drunken blush on his face tell you his hot you are

But when you drink too much you can get mouthy, which has led to Johnny having to throw you over his shoulder and walk you out of the bar while holding your heels in his free hand to avoid you getting into fights with men 10x bigger than you

When you go on set with him Johnny makes sure no one is messing with you

If someone even dares to they will have the worst week of their life coming for them

The guys think you're a sweetheart though so they never mess with you

But they do find it funny how whipped Johnny is for you

"Knoxville would probably lick the bottom of Yn's pink heels if she asked." -Bam 100%

You don't mind being on camera at all either, Johnny often seen having his arm tossed around you

But when something gross happens and your on set the camera crew was told by Jeff to pan the camera wherever you are

You just have the best reactions and Jeff thinks it's funny how you shake your hands and turn your head away while gagging

"Ew that's totally gross! Why the hell would you ever even!?"

Johnny loves to kiss you, your cherry chapstick is addicting to him

But he totally hates when you wear lip gloss, it's sticky and gross to him

"I'm not kissin' you when you have that shiny stuff on your lips Yn!"

"But why not :("

You shower him with kissed and hugs all the time though lip gloss or not

Johnny loves that pda is ok with you too, he loves everyone knowing your his and he's yours

Overall he would love dating a girly girl.

Ryan

You two met back in high school

Ryan was pretty known throughout the school for doing dumb things with his friends but you were known for being the cheer captain and dating a football player

But when you got your new classes and were sat next to Ryan you ended up dumbing your boyfriend for Ryan, even telling your ex boyfriend that cause you didn't think it would matter you left him for Ryan

But Ryan walked the halls of his school with his guard up high for the rest of his high school life because he didn't want to get jumped by the football team.

This man would LOVE dating a high maintenance girl

Like he just loves it for some reason?

He probably calls you Barbie cause he thinks you act like a human version of her

From the purses, nails, clothes, and shoes

But he totally loves it all

I feel like if you two moved into somewhere together it would be more your stuff than his

Like he simply wouldn't care what you did with the place because he just doesn't care

As long as he has room in the closet he really doesn't care

But this has caused the boys to make fun of his new crib...

"Have you seen Ryans place? He lives in a Barbie house, everything is pink and sparkly!"

Ryan loves when you two get to sit on the couch and watch stuff though

Only because when he lays on your chest you scratch his head with your long nails

He also loves when you two do face masks, he doesn't really care for it while it's on but he loves when he gets to sit on the toilet with you between his legs while you apply it and take it off

You get beard burn from Ryan bad cause you always are giving him kisses

Ryan has a favorite lip balm you use and it's strawberry

He loves the way it feels on his lips and the way it tastes

Though Ryan loves your chapsticks and lip balms he hates your lipstick

There has been countless times where Ryan and you will be making out and you push him off cause you remember you're wearing your expensive lipstick

Always gets him frustrated but he's learned to just let it go

But Ryan usually doesn't like bringing you out to party because he just doesn't want you to have to deal with all the drunk guys

But when he does once in a while your the center of attention

All the guys talking to you asking you about girly things and you happily talk to them

But you sadly are sometimes blind to see that they are flirting with you

"I went shopping the other day and found these super cute pair of underwear!"

"Really? What color are they?" - Probably Steve-o with a dumb smirk on his face

"They're my favorite color." - Ryan while shooting daggers at Steve-o

When you get brought on set you are most likely on Ryan's lap or have your arms wrapped around his arm

No one messes with you, no one wants to feel the wrath of Ryan and possibly Bam

One time Steve-o jokingly threw your new heels in the water and when you started crying Ryan was pissed

Steve-o ended up getting shot with a paintball gun Ryan found in a van 14 times and even got a hard slap in the back of the head

Ever since then no one has even dared to mess with you

That doesn't mean Ryan doesn't mess with you though

You have found a couple of large spiders placed in your purses by him or been thrown into lakes by him while on set

You probably yell at Ryan all the time to shower

You insist he smells bad and if he won't take a shower you drown him in your floral perfumes

Ryan has been told by Jackass members, crew members, fans, family, and even strangers that he smells like a girl

He likes it though, it let's everyone know he's taken

Probably got a random tattoo on his arm that reminds you of him

Maybe a bow or your favorite flower

When you showed him you thought it was really cool and sweet which only made Ryan love it more

When you go shopping and bring Ryan along he gives you honest criticism on outfits

"It kinda clashes with the belt don't you think?"

"It's cute but not with those shoes."

"That would look good with that skirt you have."

But if you dare to bring him into the dressing room with you expect a very handsy Ryan

"Just making sure the fabric is good honey."

"But Ryan that's my underwear, not the skirt."

You two have had a couple of quickies in dressing rooms

But overall he treats you like a princess cause he thinks you're a real life one :)

Bam

You two met during cky when Bam was kicking footballs at cars, when Bam hit your car with a ball you had turned around to go back cause who does that?

Bam was expecting some old guy to get out of the car yelling but when you stepped out in a short dress and heeled boots him, Dico, Ryan, and Chris were all shell-shocked

Bam was quick to begin apologizing you even saying they are filming for a movie where they pull pranks and that he would even give you money to fix the non-existent dent

You laughed it off though telling them it was fine and as long as there was no damage it's ok.

Out of the four boys who all wanted your number Bam was the only one with the balls to ask, and when he did he surprisingly got your number

Bam dating a high maintenance girl makes perfect sense to me

Cause he is kinda high maintenance too right???

But he EATS UP having a hot girly girl girlfriend

He even funds basically all of your shopping trips

Hell he even joins shopping with you!

Though you two have very, very, different styles

"Babe you'd look smoking in this!"

"But Bam it's so... dull... and not colorful..."

But he will go into your stores with you cause you go into his

Though he doesn't enjoy it when you take super long and ends up messing around with things

But when it comes to you trying things on he will sit quietly and wait for you to come out of the room

He always says everything you wear is cute which is sweet but expensive

His favorite store you go to though is any lingerie store ever

He picks out some things for you to try on and loves seeing all of them

"Do a spin for me, I wanna see it from ever angle."

"God you're so hot."

"You're totally getting that right?"

But when it comes to his room he gets mad when your pink blankets are out cause his room is supposed to be 'dark' and 'badass'

Ape always tells him to stop whining over one pink blanket

Also Ape and Phil ADORE you

Ape loves going shopping with you and even just baking with you, your like the daughter she's always wanted

Phil loves you cause you always yell at Bam when he's mean to him, which no one has done before

"Bam you're being a total dick for no reason at all! Stop it!"

"Sorry babe."

While filming Viva La Bam you were on film almost every episode because Bam wanted the whole world to know you were his

You were also the host for many of their stupid game shows, Bam even going the extra mile and buying you those fancy dresses hosts wear

Dico, Chris, and Ryan frequently flirted with you which always resulted in Bam hitting them or doing whatever he could think of

Poor Chris one time caught more than several pies to the face just for saying you looked pretty one day :(

But Bam never and I mean NEVER would prank you no matter if it was on Jackass or Viva La Bam

He doesn't even let you on the Jackass set cause he says it's quote, "Literal hell."

So you only go to premieres and things like that with him

Always dressed to impress too

We all know Bam loves being a bit extra at red carpets too so one time he had you shower him in dark pink lipstick kisses

His favorite photo of him on a red carpet is you kissing his cheek while he already had at least twenty other lipstick marks on his face while his cheeks were pink and he had a goofy smile on his face

I feel like you would model his skateboards for him?

Like since they are pink Bam thought it would be cool to have you hold them for photos since you love pink

Bam ended up going all out for the shoot and the photos were so good he made posters of you with them

Which sold out SUPER fast

He would be so excited to tell you :(((

"Yn! Babe! Your posters sold out already!"

Bam also would be very affectionate behind closed doors

Kisses, hugs, cuddling he loves it all

He also likes being the little spoon, but he made you swore to never tell

He likes laying his head between your thighs and hugging your leg while sleeping :,)

He also loves making out with you

But like the sloppy making out, the kind that leaves your lipstick smeared on your face and his along with his hair becoming a mess

I think he tries giving you hickeys but you quickly shove him off saying you don't want the bruises on your neck cause they would look bad on camera

This totally would make him grumpy

But Bam loves being high maintenance with his high maintenance girl!!!

[strcwbrryklss]

johnny knoxville fanfic recs plsplspls

[michelle-is-writing]

Aspen, Johnny Knoxville

Word Count: 1.3k~

With how much Jackass has travelled over the years, you’d think making hotel reservations would be easier. However, it is the jackass guys we’re talking about, and even though my husband is one of the sweetest and most caring guys, he’s included in that jumble. Then again, Johnny was one of the very first members of Jackass; so the bar for common sense never started out very high.

“There’s no way I’m sharing a room with him,” Dave states as he points at Pontius, obviously upset with the hotel’s recent revelation. “Why should we all have to share a room, huh? Why can’t we just go to another hotel?”

“Because this is the one we booked, and the floor we have only has big rooms with double beds,” Jeff states, already tired of Dave’s constant complaints. “Now just shut the hell up.”

Meanwhile, Johnny and I remain silent as everyone discusses their roommate plans for the next few nights. The guys decided to go to Alaska for an upcoming skit they’re wanting to do, and already, some aren’t happy thanks to the harsh weather change.

“Well, I already found my roommate,” Johnny points out the obvious as he pulls me closer to him by my waist. I only giggle up at him as the guys groan around us. Many years of marriage later and the guys are still waiting for our honeymoon phase to be over. Unfortunately for them, I don’t think of it as just a 'phase’ that will go away sooner or later.

Playing along with him, I gasp dramatically and slap his chest gently. “You'd choose me over Steve-O? What?” I joke making him snicker as he only tugs me closer to him. I’m not much for PDA, but I’ll happily accept the little bit of warmth coming from Johnny’s hold.

“Oh, honey, I’ll always choose you,” he assures me, his face barely inches away from mine as he grins coyly. His face is so close to mine that I can even smell the cinnamon gum he has in his mouth - the same gum I watched him take out of my purse right before we got here.

Before I can stare back at Johnny’s smirking face for any longer, Bam’s voice interrupts us, sarcasm clearly laced in his voice. “Can you two just not for five fucking seconds?” He complains, the guys fake gagging around him to match his attitude. However, Johnny and I just look back at each other with unfaltering smiles on our faces.

Thankfully, the guys are able to get their rooms sorted out, allowing all of us to head up to our rooms and get comfortable. We’ve been on the road for who knows how long because somebody had the great idea to go to Aspen for some stunts. After all of the driving and harsh temperature changes due to it being late at night, you’d think Johnny would want to go to bed or just relax, but nope. Not Johnny.

It’s only after a couple rounds that Johnny is happy, and I can’t say I’m unhappy as I thoroughly enjoyed those couple of rounds. However, I can say that these rooms are pretty small, and I have no doubt that the walls are thin as well.

“I’m so happy I married you,” Johnny murmurs to me after everything, making me smile despite the growing embarrassment gnawing at me. There were several times where my ears caught the immature laughter of the guys outside, and even though we tried to keep quiet, a few moans slipped out here and there.

“I think they heard us,” I point out to Johnny in a quiet voice, but I don’t think it reaches his ears.

“You’re so stunning,” he responds, making me roll my eyes.

“Johnny, I’m serious!” I tell him, sitting up in bed. “Get up and make sure no one is outside of the door or anything, please?” I practically beg him, earning a similar eye roll back.

“…fine.” Johnny groans after a few seconds, shuffling out of bed before throwing his pants on begrudgingly. After doing so, he heads to our hotel door and unlocks it before peeking his head out and turning to look down the hallway. My eyes watch him closely, waiting for the inevitable pin to drop.

“Hey, guys, if you could keep the noise down, I’m a little busy in here,” Johnny decides to yell out, making me completely freeze in the bed.

“Why the fuck are you talking?!” I hear Bam yell back, “We’ve had to suffer for the last thirty damn minutes hearing you and (Y/n) go at it like animals in there!”

As if I wasn’t already covered up by all of the blankets because of cold, I scoot myself farther underneath the covers to hide my burning face. I’ll never be able to live this moment down with the guys, and I’ll never let Johnny forget it either.

My brain doesn’t have enough time to register the blankets being lifted up behind me before a surprised shriek leaves my lips feeling a cold body jump in bed behind me, equally chilly arms wrapping around me and pulling me close at the same time. Instantly, I recognize Johnny’s hold from anywhere and shrink more into my blankets with an embarrassed giggle. “That was mortifying, PJ!” I murmur, earning a loud laugh back from him. He knows when I use his actual name, I’m not joking around.

“I’m sorry, honey,” Johnny apologizes, nuzzling his nose into my neck as he gently rocks us back and forth in the bed. “I didn’t realize the guys were standing out there… not saying it would have changed much, but-“

My laughter cuts Johnny off from saying anymore as he begins to join me in my giggling fit. It’s only when Johnny begin to nuzzle his face into my neck that our laughter begins to die down, causing me to turn over toward him. With our noses almost touching, I smile at him as I continue to get comfortable in Johnny’s hold. The whole time, he stares at me intensely, making me lift a questioning brow at him. “What?” He asks, shuffling his body even more against me. “Can I not stare at my stunning wife?”

Hearing the descriptor from earlier leave his lips once again, I only smile at him before closing my eyes. As I do this, I take a deep breath before pushing my head deeper into the pillow beneath our heads. For a few seconds, the room remains quiet (all except for the loud music still coming from the rest of the guys’ rooms), but Johnny soon breaks that silence. It starts with the rustle of the covers before his hand rests itself on my hip and he speaks up.

“Do you feel okay?” He asks, making me reopen my eyes to look back at him. “I didn’t hurt you, right?”

I love these moments where Johnny’s sweet and caring; we might be married, but I still find my heart beating faster in the moments where Johnny shows that tender side of him as he always has to be the jokester or prankster of the group.

“No, I’m okay, honey. I promise,” I tell him before pressing a soft kiss to his lips to seal the promise. However, before I can pull away, Johnny moves a hand behind my head and kisses me back fervently. This lasts for a few more seconds until he pulls away with a small sigh.

“You know I always want to make sure,” Johnny reminds me, earning a nod back from me. With that, we’re finally able to relax together with nothing else worrying us; however, once again, it’s Johnny who ends up breaking the silence in the room.

“After this, I have realized I cannot go anywhere else without you again,” he tells me, a smirk evident in his voice. “Ready to fill out your passport, babe?”

[knoxvillesjackass]

hello! I had an idea of No Nut November with Johnny x female reader. The jackass guys all dare each other to do it and the winner couple is who lasts the longest. When his girlfriend finds out, she keeps teasing him and it all ends in smut!! Love your stories!! ❤️

𝐧𝐨 𝐧𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 - 𝐣.𝐤

im so happy to finally see a smut request!! pls, send some more, because i want to get better at writing it! also, do you guys enjoy reading it or do you like fluff and/or angst better?

warnings! edging, oral sex dom!johnny x sub!reader? ( reader receiving and giving), dirty talk, very dirty hihi

words; 3.375

It was bizarre. Annoying, really. You’d given him every opportunity in the world to rail you, blow your back out and make you incapable of walking for the day…All of your attempts were shut down, which was new for you.

Usually, all you had to do was send the smallest signal to Johnny, and he would be ready at any time, but the past two weeks had been different.

He’d been avoiding you, it seemed. He only kissed you when he left for work, and he’d even slept on the couch for some nights.

You’d been left confused and a little hurt by it all. Had you done something wrong, or was he perhaps just not attracted to you anymore?

The thoughts killed you, but it killed him even more. If it hadn’t been for that stupid bet….

“A month without sex? You’ve gotta be shitting me,” Johnny shook his head as the room erupted in laughter, but he was totally serious.

He couldn’t believe that he was the only one objecting to this nonsense. The concept was idiotic and frankly childish.

Steve-O had been the one to bring it up during lunch break. Everyone had shrugged it off, but as the tension grew thicker throughout the day, everyone suddenly began to take it very seriously, Johnny included.

So, as stupid as he thought it was, Johnny was knee-deep in the ‘No Nut November’ phenomenon, even though he hated the idea.

You and Johnny had sex a lot. No shame in that. Just two adults, who loved each other very much. What Johnny did feel off about, was that all of his friends knew just how much sex you had. How? Well, at every given chance to escape the craziness of the crew, the two of you did. And you didn’t do it to have conversations and drink tea. No, you did it to fuck.

Johnny had been labelled as the guy to fail the quickest, and it didn’t sit right with him one bit.

Luckily for him, his self-control was a different ball game. He had more control than all of the jackass guys combined. If there was a will, there was a way, and Johnny never let himself down once he had a goal.

“Oh, y-you’re participating?” Steve-O asked Johnny, who shrugged and nodded. “Yeah,” he huffed, and the room once again erupted in laughter, this time, it sounded more ridiculing than anything.

“What?” He asked confused and scoffed as he stared back at his wide-eyed friends. “Dude, you’re not going to last for two days,” Pontius grinned, Johnny returning a simple growl. “Let’s just fucking see, shall we?”

-

“Hi, baby!”

You grinned excitedly as Johnny entered your shared apartment. You wrapped your arms around him tightly, furrowing your eyebrows at once when you didn’t feel him embracing you.

“Are you okay?” You asked and unwrapped your arms around his waist, looking up at him innocently. “Y-Yeah, I’m fine, Y/N, I’m just tired. Think I’m gonna go take a shower,” he commented, his eyes focused straight ahead and not down at you.

“Oh, okay. Well, I could join,” you smirked and winked at him, but he merely shook his head and smiled politely before disappearing to the bathroom.

Well, that sucked, you thought.

He was probably just tired. He’d been working long hours, and maybe all the man needed was some space.

You’d attempted to be the understanding girlfriend, even when you felt ignored by Johnny.

The first few days went by okay, although the hours seemed to get longer as the days went by. The week overall was manageable but when the second week struck, Johnny was beginning to struggle.

The day of your anniversary, you'd made everything really special for Johnny. Dressed up nice, cooked some good food, and made the bathtub the perfect place to end the night, together.

When he'd come home, he'd acted just as you'd feared.

Distant and seemingly blind to the effort you'd put into making your fourth anniversary a special one.

The dinner was awkward and you hated the tension. You broke the silence every minute, asking him questions to which he answered with simple and short sentences.

"I have a surprise for you," you smirked. Maybe what he needed was some extra spice, and that was what you were going to give him.

"A surprise?" He asked as he was washing the dishes. He jumped when he felt your arms snake around his waist. Johnny moved away and coughed. His boxers were starting to feel tight, uncomfortably tight.

You grabbed his hand and dragged him to the bathroom. You'd scattered rose petals on the floor and lit some candles. It was the most romantic bathroom you'd ever seen, but Johnny didn't seem to agree.

"O-Oh, Y/N," Johnny coughed nervously and slowly backed out of the bathroom.

"Did I do something wrong? Are you trying to punish me or something? Please, tell me what's going on!"

"No, Y/N-"

"Then why won't you FUCK ME?" You shouted and sniffled. Johnny's heart tore a bit. He wanted to tell you, he really did, but with the mood and how you were feeling, it didn't seem as if it would've been a massive help in his eyes.

The next days were rough. You were upset, understandably. Johnny continued his odd behaviour and you were just about done with it all.

“Just tell me now; when did you give in and how was it?”

Bam stood like a little child next to Johnny and giggled, but Johnny rolled his eyes underneath his sunglasses and sighed.

“I haven’t given in yet, and I’m not going to, so you might as well quit bothering me.”

Bam scoffed at the answer he got from Johnny, but he hadn’t expected much else, considering Johnny’s recent behaviour.

He was in a pissy mood. He was at conflict with himself at all times. The whole dare had transformed into something beyond his control. He was so competitive, sometimes it scared people.

Johnny sat down in the conference room, where the crew held their weekly meetings. He cursed to himself and looked around. Pontius, Steve-O and Jeff sat and looked at him with smug grins.

“How’re you holding up over there, Knoxville?” Jeff asked, to which he received a middle finger from Knoxville.

“It’s been a long time since I've seen Y/N around? When is she coming by again?" Pontius pouted. Just the thought of your name at this point, could get Johnny hot and bothered.

"I-She's not," Johnny mumbled and rubbed his sweaty forehead. Was it just him, or was it starting to get super hot?

"That's weird. I talked to her this morning. She said, she's dropping by to say hello," Jeff said and immediately, Johnny tensed up.

"What?" He asked. He hated to even think it, but you were the last person he needed to see now.

"Y/N!" Wee-man yelled as soon as he saw your figure in the doorway.

Johnny hid his face in his hands as soon as he heard your voice. He imagined you saying his name, moaning it, screaming it.

"Hi, guys," you smiled and entered the conference room, greeting all of the guys with a hug, moving your way around the table until you reached Johnny. "Hi, babe," you smiled and leaned down to plant a kiss on his lips, although he moved away almost immediately.

You scoffed and stood up. What had you expected? He'd only been treating you like that for the last two weeks.

"Well, I can see that I'm not wanted here," you mumbled but were quickly met with reassurance from everyone but Johnny.

"Why would you think that?" Jeff asked, "we love having you here, Y/N."

"You might, but I think Johnny feels a bit different," you hissed and glared at Johnny, who slapped his forehead.

Suddenly, Ehren began laughing hysterically, to everyone's surprise. "Wait, you haven't told her yet?" He grinned and the boys slowly caught on and joined Ehren's laughing fit.

Johnny was so not having it. His fists were curled and his jaw was clenched. And you, you were utterly confused as to what was going on.

"Told me what?"

You raised your eyebrow and looked down at Johnny, who refused eye contact at all costs, the guilt weighing him down like uranium.

"We dared each other do the no nut Novem-"

"Don't even finish that sentence," you said and cut Ehren off. You were quiet for a few moments, trying to assemble yourself before speaking up.

"You wanna explain yourself, asshole?" You spat and looked down at Johnny, who sighed and looked up at you.

"Y/N, I'm so so-"

"Do you guys know how long it's been since I've had sex with my boyfriend?" I asked into the room and the guys all chuckled.

Of course, they knew. They were a part of it too, after all.

"Two weeks!"

It didn't sound like a lot, but anyone who knew you and Johnny understood that this was totally out of the ordinary.

"You're telling me I have to wait two weeks before he can bang me? How many of you guys are still in this bullshit?" You asked loudly to which Pontius, Jeff, Ehren and Wee-Man's hands went up.

"Fuck this," you sighed. You knew just how competitive Johnny was. Nothing could get in his way. Literally nothing, but then again, if anyone had the slightest chance, it was most definitely you.

-

"Y/N?"

You sighed at the sound of Johnny's voice.

Your fingers were curled inside of yourself as you lay spread across the bed.

You continued, although the sound of Johnny's footsteps came closer and closer.

You closed your eyes and began rubbing your clit, letting out a quiet moan.

"Y/N-fuck," Johnny breathed out when he walked in on you pleasuring yourself. His cock was throbbing at the sight of your naked body, but he denied all of those feelings and shuffled out of the room. The sight had made him hard as a rock.

"Johnny!" You called out. An idea had popped into your head.

He opened the door and peeked in. Your legs were spread open and they were trembling with anticipation.

"Huh?" He asked you. His eyes were almost closed. He couldn't bare to see more.

"Look, I know you're not allowed to cum or whatever, but I'm horny and I need your help," you stated and Johnny's eyes opened wide. You might be on to something, he thought.

Pleasuring you always brought Johnny pleasure, he didn't even have to pull his dick out for this one.

He smiled and rushed over to you.

He wasted no time digging his two fingers into your cunt, plunging them in and out of your wet entrance. His head rested between your legs as his tongue made contact with your clit. You reached down and grabbed a handful of his hair. God, he loved it when you did that.

What he loved, even more, was the way his name sounded when you screamed it out of pure pleasure. "Fuck, Johnny!" You cried and grabbed his one hand that wasn't fucking your cunt and pulling it up to your breast, signalling for him to massage it, which he did, gladly.

Johnny smiled against your folds and licked them up and down, ever so often pinching your sensitive clit between his lips, which drove you crazy.

"I-I think I'm g-"

"Look at me, babydoll," he ordered and you followed, looking directly into his dark brown eyes. You couldn't contain the eye contact for long though, because your eyes rolled into the back of your head and you let out a loud cry as you reached your awaited orgasm.

You tugged at Johnny's hair and breathed in loudly, trying to gather yourself.

"J-Johnny, just fuck me already, please," you sobbed and looked at Johnny.

The offer was so tempting, but he just couldn't. He snapped out of his thoughts when he felt his jeans tightening to the point of it being uncomfortable.

"O-Oh, shi-" he hissed and suddenly flew away from his position. You looked him up and down, eyes landing on the massive boner, he had packed. You held back an evil laugh as Johnny stormed out of the room. "Where are you going?" You yelled as you stood up from the bed.

"I-I'm just gonna go for a drive!" he yelled back and slammed the door. He wasn't angry with you, and you knew that. He was angry with himself. This bet was starting to get really fucking old.

The next days were seriously awful for Johnny. After helping you out, he realised that it might've been a bad idea.

The only thing on his mind was the feeling of your pretty cunt against his fingers and the sound of your screams still rang in his ears every now and then.

And you'd, of course, been making his life a living hell. Walking around naked in the apartment or dressing up in your sexiest lingerie.

Johnny kept himself together, though, and you had to give him credit. He'd handled it all very well, better than you ever could.

(random a/n; this same-ish story, but where the reader is dared?)

The end of November was just around the corner, thankfully. Sure, Johnny's hands were equivalent to magic, but nothing beat the feeling of his cock ramming into you.

You couldn't wait, quite literally. Johnny was so much better at staying committed to a dare than you. You needed him. Like, really needed him.

"Johnnyyyy," you whined and threw yourself at him like a little toddler,

He wasn't as sensitive as before. It seemed that the roles had taken a 180 because you were hornier than ever.

Johnny was sitting with his computer when you suddenly planted yourself in his lap and hugged him tightly.

"What's going on?" He asked and rubbed your back.

"I want it so badly," you whispered and bit your lip. Johnny stiffened up and shifted uncomfortably around on the couch. "Three days to go, Y/N," he comforted you, but that wasn't good enough. "No, but like, now," you said and reached down to straddle his cock. He let out a yelp and lifted you from his lap to the seat beside him as he stood up and paced around.

He was frustrated. It was really not fun anymore. Actually, it never was.

Johnny hurried to his phone and put the phone to his ear.

"Chris, you tell me now and be honest; who's still a part of this November bullshit?" Johnny asked. You smiled to yourself and crossed your fingers.

No one, please say no one.

You couldn't quite hear the rest of the conversation. You didn't really care either, because when Johnny came out, he had darker eyes and a wicked smirk on his lips.

"Go to the bedroom and take your clothes off. I'll be up in two minutes."

You squealed with excitement and ran up the stairs faster than ever.

You stripped out of your clothes and threw them to the side, feeling a knot in your stomach, waiting to be untied.

Johnny entered the room. He'd taken his shirt off on the way up the stairs.

"Get on your knees," Johnny ordered and you did so immediately and without protest of any sort.

The room was pretty dark, but you could still see Johnny's crooked smirk.

He approached you, stopping when he stood right in front of your kneeled figure.

He brushed some hair out of your face and cupped your cheeks as you stared up at him, batting your eyelashes.

He gathered your hair into a ponytail at the back of your head and tied it with the hair tie he had around his wrist.

"Fuck, I've missed your mouth," he moaned and unbuttoned his pants, not even bothering to pull them all the way down. And you were just as desperate to please him again, so without waiting any longer, you took a hold of his rock-hard length and gave it a few pumps. Johnny threw his head back when you put just the tip into your mouth. Impatient and understandably needy, Johnny skipped your slow tempo and grabbed the back of your head, pushing his cock into your mouth fully.

After four years of dating Johnny, your gag reflex was pretty much non-existent.

He began gently thrusting himself into your mouth and then sped up until you eventually could feel his tip at the end of your throat.

You watched with tears in your ears as your boyfriend had lost himself in you, thrusting himself into your mouth again and again until he was a mumbling, moaning mess, cumming down your throat.

You swallowed and Johnny watched you in admiration as he offered you his hand to help you stand up.

Your lips crashed together for the first time in weeks, and you moaned into the kiss when you reached the bed. Johnny put a hand behind your head and the other one on your back, slowly lowering you on the bed as he hovered over you with a hungry, lust-filled gaze.

You were merely wearing his t-shirt and a pair of old shorts, which Johnny quickly tore away, your underwear following. He pulled the shirt from over your head and admired your naked body for a while, before snapping out of his trance to return to his duty.

He began placing kisses down your chest but you pulled him up when you saw where he was going. You grabbed his hand and forced it down to your dripping cunt. "I don't need anything, I just want you to fuck me," you nodded and Johnny smiled. Foreplay was always a big thing in your relationship. It was a way to ensure that both parts were 100% ready, but there was no doubt in your mind; you were ready.

"You're still on the pill despite this stupid bet, right?" He asked and you nodded. He knew how bad you were at forgetting it, and he often scolded you for it.

"Good girl," he whispered raspily. That made your heart melt.

His tip was at your entrance, and you wondered if the three weeks had changed something within you. Was it going to hurt after that long with no sex?

You shook every thought off when Johnny placed a kiss on your forehead and slowly pushed into you.

"Ah-!"

Johnny looked at you with wide eyes. You apologised quietly.

"It must be because it's been a while," you said and Johnny nodded, understanding what you were feeling.

He continued pushing his member into you and watched you closely as you clenched your eyes shut and dug your nails into his wide shoulders.

He rested for a while, waiting for your sign to move, and when that sign came, he began pumping in and out of you slowly but deeply.

You grasped onto him and pulled him as close as possible while also wrapping your legs around his waist. "F-Faster," you moaned with closed eyes and Johnny grunted as he sped up, fucking you at an impossibly fast pace.

Everything seemed to go dull for a short moment. Your pussy clenched and your belly contracted tightly when a wave of pleasure hit you like a thousand bricks.

"I-Oh, my God!"

Your nails dug deeply into Johnny's back and you scratched them up towards his neck, where they rested, fiddling with the ends of his brown hair.

"Look at me, baby," Johnny ordered and continued his thrusts. You had to collect yourself before even listening to his orders, but Johnny was impatient and close to an orgasm, so he didn't have much time.

"Y/N, I said look at me," he repeated. The tone made you look at him immediately and you bit your lip and moaned loudly as you watched him orgasm for the second time that night.

"Fuuuck-urgh, baby!"

He trembled and with one last thrust, he pulled out of you and fell down beside you with a heavy but satisfied sigh.

"This November has been the best and worst of my life," you sighed and Johnny laughed in agreement as he kissed your forehead and snuggled you closer.

-

probably my favourite smut i've ever written, but what do you think?

[sunnyie-eve]

Uttermost Lifestyle Masterlist

Series: Jackass

Paring: Johnny Knoxville x Original female character

Summary: Some people didn't like the idea of a girl being apart of Jackass and if they wanted her, they wanted her to at least show some nudity like the guys to be entertained. Unlike most of the public, the cast loved and treated her like family despise what people thought of her. They let her do whatever she was comfortable doing and never forced her to do anything she didn't wanna do.

{ Ch.1 | Ch.2 | Ch.3 | Ch.4 | Ch.5 | Ch.6 | Ch.7 | Ch.8 | Ch.9 | Ch.10 | Ch.11 | Ch.12 | Ch.13 | Ch.14 | Ch.15 | Ch.16 | Ch.17 | Ch.18 | Ch.19 | Ch.20 | Ch.21 | Ch.22 | Ch.23 | Ch.24 | Ch.25 | Ch.26 | Ch.27 | Ch.28 | Ch.29

[frothingatthemaw]

a lil something from a sunville wip of mine :]

This pulls a larger laugh from him. Johnny leans back and gasps for a breath before he’s settled into looking at her once more. “That’s what I like about you, Sun.” He places his arm around her shoulders, hugging her close into his side. “You don’t hesitate to put me back in my fuckin’ place.”

If only that were true. Sunny wants to tell him that, except she liked how his words made her feel too much to say anything else. The fact of the matter was that she didn’t do it for that reason on purpose. She didn’t mean to do something he found attractive, a something that made him feel enough to get her on him. Most times, it was for selfish reasons, it wasn’t for him, it was for her own comfort. Plus, it could be an accident, that was what happened most often. She wasn’t aware of what she did. Sunny liked him not far off of a fault. Johnny’s words knew how to keep her own curbed.

The beaming heat radiating off of his body is what keeps her from thinking on that much longer. Johnny running hot is something else she’s noticed about him. He’s hot and he’s got a thing for being close to her. Moth to flame. Or some other confusing analogy that Sunny half understands. The thing she thinks of to get his sweltering body off of her is to reach under his shirt and pinch his skin like she did at what seemed to be much earlier in the night. So, she does just that.

“Ow.” Johnny’s stomach instinctively moves back into itself from the pinch. His monotone doesn’t match what he said either. It’s more of a habit than having any real meaning behind it. It doesn’t have the effect she wanted. Her drunken mind didn’t think that one through. With his mouth hung open, he says, “If you keep doin’ that we’re gonna have issues, lady.”