#Johnny knoxville fanfic

[strcwbrryklss]

୨୧﹕ in your care .ᐟ oneshot

pairing ; johnny knoxville x fem!nurse!reader contains ; tension , flirting a/n ; in love with this man. summary ; after a flirty patient comes into your care at the hospital, your job seems a little more bearable.

JOHNNY WOKE UP, an unbearable pain gripping at the back of his skull. clenching his eyes shut, he groaned at the sensation of his achy limbs that haven’t moved for around 12 hours. his hands were wrapped up in bandages, both broken and battered, along with his head, where he suffered a concussion.

this wasn’t new to johnny, actually, it was pretty regular. his ‘thing’ was being dumb, putting himself into danger as if it was a game, which, safe to say, ends up here. he’s lost count of the amount of times he’s ended up in the ER. matter of fact, he’s probably been in the exact same bed he’s in now ten times before this.

it’s the same-old, same-old. he stays for a few days, gets given meds, gets sent home, and doesn’t take the meds (not in the way he should, anyway).

“good afternoon” a cheery voice was heard after a short knock at his door, the face of a beautiful girl peeking out.

although it hurt, johnny mustered up a charming smile towards the nurse, “afternoon ma’am”

you smiled, walking in with a tray of breakfast, “i’ve got ya some dinner, let me know if you don’t like anything and i’ll change it for ya”. putting the tray down on the table, you moved it closer to johnny so he could reach.

“i don’t think i’ll be able to eat, doll” he responded with a small smile, moving his arms up and showing the nurse his wrapped up hands.

mentally face-palming, you spoke, “oh right, sorry, i’ll help”. you pulled up a chair beside his bed, “well, lucky for you, today’s special is mashed potatoes and mystery meat. i’ll make sure it’s top quality”

“lucky me” he murmured, eyes sparkling beyond his black eye, “i can’t even pretend to be disappointed. best day i’ve had this week, in fact”

rolling your eyes with a slight smile, you scooped up a forkful of mashed potatoes, holding it out with practiced calm, “here ya go” you said gently.

as he leaned forward to take a bite, he kept his gaze locked onto you, “you know, i could really get used to this” he said, the words slightly muffled as he chewed, “a beautiful woman taking care of me? feels like something out of a rom-com”

you felt the warmth rise in your cheeks despite yourself, “i’m sure the novelty will wear off”, you said, pretending to brush it off as you prepared the next bite, “now, chew and swallow”

johnny snorted in amusement at the demanding words, his dirty minded humour taking over. you gave him a look, causing him to stop his immaturity’s.

“you’re very professional aren’t you?” he teased, eyes gleaming with mischief, “most nurses would have at least blushed by now”

“i’m just doing my job sir—”

“johnny, call me johnny” he corrected.

you nodded, changing the subject, “now, i think you’d like some of the… mystery meat…?”

“oh, i trust you, hun” he responded, shifting just slightly closer, his voice warm and low, “i trust you with my life, in fact”

“don’t get too dramatic” you said, unable to hide your smile as you brought a piece of the meat to his lips, “you’ll be outta here soon enough”

“only if you’ll visit me after” he murmured, taking a bite but never breaking eye contact. he chewed slowly, watching you with an intensity that made you stomach flip, “you know, you’re exactly what i imagined”

the nurse blinked, caught off guard, “what you… what?”

“you know, the whole ‘cute nurse taking care of me’ fantasy” he said, looking entirely too satisfied as he grinned at you, “i’ve been laid up in this bed for a while, and i’ll admit, i was hoping for someone exactly like you”

“you must still be concussed” you said, trying not to laugh, “i’m just here to make sure ya don’t starve to death while you’re recovering”

“well in that case” he smiled as he watched you scoop up another bite, “you’re doing a great job”

you could feel your cheeks getting warmer, but you didn’t dare break your professional facade. you could only keep up your calm exterior as you carefully fed him, listening to his endless, over the top compliments, and sidestepping his flirtatious glances. but the truth was, his charming southern drawl, easy confidence, and obvious amusement at your flustered responses — you enjoyed it. more than you wanted to admit.

when you offered him the next bite, he leaned just a little too close to your hand, catching your gaze as he murmured, “i think i’d heal faster if you were here everyday”

you swallowed, trying to ignore the flutter in your stomach. “you’re here for at least a few more days” you said, almost managing to sound casual, “so i’ll be around”

he smiled, a touch of softness in his gaze, “good. gives me a reason to look forward to meal times”

[michelle-is-writing]

Forgotten Dinner, Johnny Knoxville

Word Count: 1.7k~

Warning: Little bit of angst, forgotten anniversary, sexual themes mentioned

The food in front of me made me sick to my stomach, seeing all of it just sit there without having been touched. A couple hours of putting it all together and setting it up seemed like a waste now as I haven’t even taken a bite of it since I put it on the table. I wanted to wait for Johnny to get home, but even though he had told me he’d be sure to be at home by 6, I still find myself alone as the clock on the stove turns from 10 to 11 pm. Today isn’t our marriage anniversary, but it is the anniversary of the day we met, so I wanted to surprise Johnny with dinner and a new lingerie set I got. It doesn’t help that he’s not answering the phone either, and I’m starting to feel like it all of this was a waste now.

Choosing to head to bed instead of wait up any longer, I put all of the food away in the fridge and lazily toss the dirty dishes in the sink before heading out of the kitchen. Just as I reach the hallway, the sound of keys in the door stop me, leaving me to turn toward the front door and watch Johnny walk in. He wears a laughing grin on his face until he sees me by the hallway, still dressed in the velvet dress I picked out for tonight. At the same time, my eyes catch the butterfly bandages stripped across his eyebrow and the several bandages wrapped around his forearm.

“Hi, baby,” he says, an almost awestruck look currently on his face as he takes in my appearance. He certainly looks pleasantly surprised. “You look… fucking fantastic, what are you all dressed up for?” Hearing his words make me smile, but I still feel a small bit of heart ache at the reminder of the food I made and how much planning I put into tonight.

“Um, nothing anymore,” I almost mutter, reaching hand up to mess with the clip in my hair as I look to the carpeted floors. “You told me you were going to be home at 6, what happened?” I can’t help but ask him, crossing my arms in front of me as I swallow down the nauseous feeling in my throat.

“Jeff asked me if I could help film another skit with the guys, so I stayed to help them and kind of hurt myself,” he tells me, still lingering by the front door as he continues looking me up and down with that same facial expression. However this changes in a few moments as an almost scared look takes over him. “I… I think I forgot something important, what did I forget? What is today?” He asks, now closing the door as he begins racking his brain. Before he gets too far, I stop him and simply inform him by reminding him of today’s date.

“It’s the day we met,” I bitterly remind him, watching the color drain from him. My stomach somehow churns even more seeing the guilt take over his face. “You told me you’d be home at six, but it’s eleven now. I made dinner, it’s in the fridge. I think I’m just going to… go take a shower and go to bed,” I say, shaking my head lightly.

Just as I begin to turn to head up to our room, Johnny stops me. “What? I just got home, don’t you want to stay up for a little?” He asks, stepping into the middle of the living room. “Baby I’m so sorry I completely forgot today, please, I’d love to spend time with you.”

In any other moment, I would’ve smiled at the sweet words leaving his lips, but knowing he forgot that today was the day we met and that we had plans makes the smile stay away. “I think I’ve stayed up long enough,” I say to him, turning my face down to the floor again. “Goodnight, Johnny.”

Before he says anymore, I head up the stairs and into our room where I close our door and let my tears fall. He stayed back for the guys on the one night we discussed him being home on time. If only he could’ve done this any other night, then the issue wouldn't be as severe. There have been many nights in the past where Johnny has stayed late on set, but even then, he texted me on those nights to tell me - unlike tonight when he wouldn’t respond to any of my texts or calls.

After locking our bedroom door, I walk into our bathroom and stand in front of the counter. Staring into the mirror, I watch as my mascara slowly rolls down my face, causing me to wipe it away with a tissue. I really liked my makeup and outfit tonight, and I was really looking forward to Johnny seeing me dressed up tonight and how he might react. Although, I was anticipating how he would react to what I have on underneath my dress more.

With a small sigh, I throw the tissue in my hand away before sliding the straps of my dress down with the rest of the material following it. Looking back into the mirror, I run my hands down my lace clad hips and up to the straps of the matching lacy bra. As I adjust the straps to better hold it’s contents, I step back to look at myself in our mirror and smile. At least I like the way I look tonight. The set came with a waist band that connects to the underwear and it only helps to accentuate my waist and hips even more. I was hoping Johnny would enjoy it too.

A loud crash beside me scares me away from the sink and over to the bathroom window that is now open as Johnny clambers through it, putting his upper body through before almost throwing his legs in behind him. At the same time he does this, his head hits the corner of our bathtub, causing a groan to leave his lips as he crumbles on the floor and I rush toward him. Despite my questions over his head, Johnny barely pays attention to his own pain as his focus shifts to my lingerie clad body. “You were wearing that? For me?” He asks, still lying in the floor unmoving as if he were awestruck. “Baby, holy shit, when did you get this set?”

“Johnny, that’s not important!” I exclaim as I get on my knees beside him to observe his head. He didn’t crack it open, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t give himself yet another concussion. “You hit your head!”

“It’s not the first time, don’t worry please,” he reminds me, moving to sit up with a small smile. “I deserve it after making you wait for me all night dressed like this,” Johnny adds, looking me up and down with a sigh. “I’m so sorry, babe, after I got hurt, we sat around and iced all of our injuries. Not to mention, I broke my phone during the fall too,” he further explains, “I’m so, so sorry I forgot about tonight.”

After a few seconds, I sigh and brush the hair away from Johnny’s forehead where a goose egg is already forming. “I wouldn’t say you deserved to hit your head, specifically,” I tell him, “You’re not good at remembering dates, I know that; mostly because of the many times you have hit your head in the past,” My comment earns a guilty smile from Johnny as he turns to look away, knowing he can’t deny it. “But I do wish you would’ve been home earlier.”

“I should’ve been, and I am so sorry, baby,” he apologizes once more, closing his eyes before turning his head back to me. “You have no idea how sorry I am. I hate that I made you wait up, I hate that I’ve made you cry,” he adds, his eyes now open as he moves a hand up to brush against my previously tear stained face. “I’ll start being home by 6 every night, I’ll bring you flowers every week, I’ll let you tase me, whatever you want - please forgive me.”

His offers make me want to giggle, but I want to try and stay as serious as I can for right now. “I have a few ideas,” I tell him, taking his hands in mine before helping him stand up. He doesn’t wobble or anything, which is good; at least he doesn’t seem to have yet another brain injury to add to the long list of previous ones. For a few moments, Johnny looks me up and down like he did when he was on the floor, albeit this time, he doesn’t look so dopey. “Why don’t you start by helping me out of this?”

At my suggestion, he grins. “Of course, but babe,” Johnny starts, letting go of my hands to wrap one arm around my waist while he grabs my leg with his other hand. All the while, I brace myself on Johnny by holding onto his shoulders as he pulls me flush against him, my leg now curled around his hip with his arm keeping it secure there. “Tonight’s all about you, and I know it’s our anniversary but you deserve so much tonight,” he further tells me, sincerity deep in his voice. “I promise, I’ll try my hardest to make it up to you.”

After a few moments, I smile at Johnny. “I’ll hold you to that,” I tell him, earning a smile back from him. “I love you, Johnny, even when your bad memory gets the best of you,” I add, causing him to laugh before connecting our lips. At the same time, he takes his arm away from my waist to pick my other leg up and hold me, causing me to cling to him even more as he begins carrying me to our shared bed. Lying me down on it, Johnny breaks our kiss and pulls away to smile down at me.

“I love you too, baby,” he murmurs, staring at me with a hazed look in his eyes. That is, until a smirk makes its way onto his face. “Now, just relax,” Johnny tells me, his hands sliding underneath the lace of my bra as he perches himself between my legs. “And I’ll show you just how sorry I am.”

[knoxvillesjackass]

You mentioned in the no nut November smut with johnny, possibly doing a reversed one where the reader is dared to do it? Love your stories, and I hope you keep writing! ❣

your tables were easy to turn - j.k

quite smutty, btw!

this is bad, dont come for me. i tried to write this and then rewrite it over such a long time, so that's why. it is the first chapter in probably a longer series. i'll see what happens! hope they will be better, though!

You and Johnny had anything but an average sex life. In fact, it was probably way above average. You craved each other all the time, and you made no effort at trying to hide it from anyone.

Not from friends or even the general public. Some couples found the whole public display of affection uncomfortable. You were definitely not one of them.

But the Jackass crew, they’d seen just about everything, if not too much of everything.

Every now and then, you and Johnny would disappear and no one questioned where you'd gone, or what you were doing. You were fucking, and you were willing to do it whenever and wherever.

“Honestly PJ, your ideas are sick,” you remarked through heavy breaths as Johnny mindlessly moved his lips against your neck, teeth grazing the sensitive skin.

He didn’t answer you, but merely grabbed your ass and hoisted you onto the small table, lips still attached to your neck.

“Try to be quiet, yeah?” Johnny reminded you for the fourth time since the two of you had snuck into a small storage room on set. You were usually claustrophobic, and the barely two square meters room would’ve, in any other situation, sent you straight into a panic attack, but when Johnny had started touching and grabbing you all over, you’d had other things to worry about.

Johnny reached down and pulled his boxers out, his erect and needy cock springing out. You smiled excitedly and wrapped your legs tightly around Johnny’s waist, bringing him in even closer than before.

He snuck his hand down between your legs and managed to pull your panties to the side, despite the room being as dark as it was.

You let out a loud, high-pitched squeal when Johnny slid his index finger into your soaked cunt. He shot you a warning look and grumbled, reminding you to be quiet again.

He worked his finger in and out of you, making sure that you were wet and ready for his cock. You whined impatiently, even though you knew that Johnny was doing it for your good. So that you could enjoy the whole of his cock without pain or any discomfort.

Unfortunately, because of the limited space, serious foreplay wasn’t really an option, so Johnny brought his hand to his mouth and you watched as he licked his fingers and brought them back to your cunt, lubricating it fully.

He brought the tip of his cock to your soaked opening and gazed into your eyes. “Ready?” Johnny whispered and you nodded eagerly and smiled, preparing yourself by grabbing his shoulders tightly.

Johnny's hand went to cover your mouth the second he pushed his cock into you, knowing all too well that you couldn’t bite a moan back, even if your life depended on it.

Johnny was pushing inside of you at an animalistic pace, his whole length filling you up completely.

Johnny removed his hand for a short second to rearrange your legs, and already, you were a moaning, whimpering mess.

“Fuck-Ah!” You yelled out when Johnny hit that sweet spot. He quickly slapped his palm over your mouth once again and shushed you. “I told you to be quiet!” He hissed under his breath and pumped recklessly in and out of you.

“I-I-I can’t,” you managed to mutter under his hand, tears streaming down your face, due to the indescribable pleasure of Johnny’s cock.

“Bite my shoulder,” Johnny whispered and you gazed at him, confused. "Either that or my hand's going back over your mouth; you decide," Johnny grumbled. His hand over your mouth barely allowed you to breathe, so you did as he'd told you and bit down on his clothed shoulder. Your nails were clawing into his back, and you sniffled softly against him.

As his thrusts got sloppier but deeper, you could feel an orgasm forming, slowly and powerfully.

“I-I’m gonna c-���

“Jesus Christ!”

Johnny instinctively threw himself over you completely to shield your naked body from whoever had just interrupted him blowing your back out.

“Get the fuck out of here!” Johnny bellowed, still inside of you as turned his head to spot Steve-O in the doorway, shaking his head and chuckling.

“Could you two just try to keep it in your pants for two fucking seconds?” Steve-O asked angrily and dispersed, slamming the door roughly.

Johnny had stopped his movements, but your hips buckled against his in an attempt to get him to move again, but he pulled out of you, and it caused a loud, displeased whine to leave your lips.

“Johnny!” You hissed as he started putting his clothes on angrily, his eyes focused on the door.

"Johnny, you cannot be serious! I was this clo-"

"We'll continue later," Johnny shut you down, seemingly pissed off as he headed towards the door.

“Where are you going?” You yelped and jumped down from the table.

“Just put on your clothes!” He ordered you and headed out of the storage room, leaving you all alone after slamming the door.

You could hear a commotion in the break room, and when you entered it, Johnny and Steve-O were staring at each other intensely, eyebrows furrowed and all.

“How about you don’t just fucking barge in?” Johnny asked angrily, to which Steve-O rolled his eyes and sighed.

“It’s a workplace, dumbass! None of us wants to see you guys going at it every day!” Steve-O exclaimed. You placed a hand on Johnny's bicep and squeezed it. He looked at you shortly, shaking his head.

“We’ve only just started shooting and you guys are already fucking in the storage room?” Steve-O huffed. “You literally cannot keep your hands off each other, it’s gross.”

For some reason, that comment got under your skin a bit more and you took a step forward.

You were an adult, who could absolutely control herself, and you could prove it too.

“Bet.”

Johnny stiffened up at your word and jerked his head back.

He knew how competitive you could be, and compared with Steve-O’s inability to lose, this could only end badly.

“What are we betting?” Johnny asked. He already knew, but he wished to be proven wrong.

“Okay, fine,” Steve-O perked up a bit, loving the idea of a challenge, where the odds were 100% in his favour. “One month, no touching,” Steve-O smirked.

“Absolutely fucking not,” Johnny sneered and grabbed your arm, trying to pull you away from the conversation.

“A month is too long. Two weeks,” you negotiated, yanking your arm from Johnny's tight grip. Steve-O shrugged and nodded.

“Fucking hold up,” Johnny paused and pinched your arm to make you look at him.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He hissed quietly and passed Steve-O an angry glare.

“I can do three weeks, but when I say no touching, I mean; no touching,” Steve-O smirked.

Now, you understood. This man was really pushing your buttons.

“Fine,” you agreed and narrowed your eyes at him.

“But, if we make it three weeks, you’re never going to bother us again about fucking again, ever.”

Steve-O paused and considered what he would be giving up if you managed to pull off the bet.

“Fine, but if I win, you can’t fuck here, or while I’m even in a mile’s radius of you.”

There was a wicked look in Steve-O’s eyes. If he won, he’d no doubt be ruthless and unfair.

There was a whole lot at stake. But the chance of being able to do whatever you wanted with Johnny, wherever you wanted, without Steve-O’s commentary was too good to pass up.

“Deal.” 

“Oh, so I don’t get a say in it? Cool, 'cause this obviously doesn’t affect me at all,” Johnny chimed in, clearly agitated. 

“Okay, but how nice would it be if he couldn’t say shit about us,” you quirked an eyebrow at Johnny and he sighed, running a hand through his hair, ultimately shaking his head in dissent.

"We're not doing this sh-"

Steve-O interrupted Johnny with a grin and looked at his watch. “Alright, it’s 13:20. Time starts now. Good luck,” he jibed and walked away, leaving you and Johnny in the break room.

You could clearly sense, that he was angry at you, and you understood why, but your competitiveness seemed to overtake any feelings of remorse, guilt and regret.

You looked at Johnny and bit your lip, well aware that you'd messed up badly. He crossed his arms and breathed out heavily.

"Do you have any idea about what you've just done?" Johnny asked you, and a cheeky smile formed upon your lips. "I don't find this funny at all, Y/N."

Your smile quickly disappeared and you frowned at Johnny's genuine disappointment.

“I think you should head home,” he spoke. This was not a question or a nice suggestion, it was an order.

You frowned and watched as Johnny spun on his heels and left you with an awful sense of guilt.

-

Johnny stared at you from across the dinner table, exasperated, his arms crossed over his broad chest.

You sipped your wine and raised your eyebrow at him.

"Don't you think you've had enough wine?" Johnny asked and followed the wine glass with his stare as you placed it back down on the table.

"Why are you still so pissed off? Chill out," you hiccupped and scoffed.

"Why? Are you seriously asking me why?” Johnny hissed and bit his cheek. You nodded and leaned forward.

"What the fuck happened to listen to each other, Y/N? I'm so pissed at you right now," Johnny growled as you stared down at your plate of food.

It had to have been the 100th time that day, that Johnny was having a go at you.

He'd been scolding you from the moment he'd arrived home from work. You'd grown numb to his outbursts, slightly starting to feel that the man deserved to not get any sex from you with that temper of his. Besides, he didn't need to scold you, because you already felt awful.

But were you going to give up and let Steve-O win? Fuck no.

Johnny couldn't take the silence for much longer. He twitched and fiddled around in his chair, before eventually slamming his palm into the dining table.

"I have to be on set with that asshole every day for the next four months, Y/N! You fucking ganged up on me with Steve-O?"

Steve-O had been enjoying the rest of the work day by regularly passing Johnny mocking grins and asking how you were doing.

“I think we should make a list,” you suggested and Johnny stopped chewing on his lamb chop and looked at you with a raised eyebrow.

“What?” He asked and stared at you, bitter and indeed confused.

You reached down into your bag and ripped a page out of your notebook and grabbed a pen. "You know, of things, we can't or shouldn't do. Just to make this easier," you shrugged.

You were convinced, that your confidence would come to bite you in the ass later on, but at that moment, you were doing just fine.

"I don't think, that we should sleep in the same bed," you said casually but jumped when Johnny protested with a loud yelp.

He stared at you bewildered and shook his head at your proposal.

"I'm just saying; it'll be easier if we don't sleep in the same bed. That way, we won't get tempted by anything," you explained and ignored Johnny's rolling eyes.

"Do you not see how fucking ridiculous this is? We're a couple, Y/N! Couples have sex, so why are you suddenly insistent on not letting me touch you for three weeks?" Johnny asked, so frustrated that he just couldn't sit for another second. He stood up and paced back and forth.

You were starting to get irritated with Johnny. Yes, you fucked up, badly, but your man was force-feeding you with guilt trips and self-pity, and it had made you feel slightly less guilty about the whole thing.

"Grow up, Johnny! It's three weeks. You'll survive," you sassed and wrote down sleeping in opposite beds as the first thing on your list.

"This is fucking ridiculous," he hissed and you stared at him. "No, Johnny; you're fucking ridiculous," you snapped. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to the bar with Penny. I don't know when I'll be home," you hissed, hearing Penny's car out front.

"You're not going anywhere until we've figured this out, Y/N!" Johnny exclaimed. You grabbed your purse and headed for the door. "Come and catch me then," you said sarcastically and closed the door behind you.

-

You told your friend all about the bet, who seemed to find it as amusing as Steve-O. You needed a break from Johnny and his understandable, but annoying, pissy attitude.

You drank and then drank a little more. Maybe a little too much, but you were having fun. You weren't exactly excited to return home though, but you hoped that Johnny would be fast asleep.

-

Penny dropped you off after a few hours at the bar. You had a wine bottle in your hand, half-drunken.

The lights were still on in the house. How fantastic.

You entered the house and immediately, you could hear the sound of the shower going. You took a sip of the wine bottle in your hand and walked to the bathroom, opened the door and entered into the steamy room.

Usually, you would be in there with him, back against the wall as he'd mercilessly pound you into submission. Tonight was, by your own fault, different.

A hiccup from you made Johnny turn off the shower and he peeked out to see your drunken state. He sighed and shook his head.

"For fuck's sake, Y/N," he groaned and walked out of the shower, naked and glistening like some Greek god.

You licked your lips as your eyes travelled down his body. He wrapped a towel around his waist, and it made you snap your eyes up to meet his.

"You know how many fucking times I tried to call?" Johnny asked you and grabbed the wine bottle in your hand, placing it out of your reach, You whined at crossed your arms.

"My phone died," you said. That was a lie. You'd just decided, that you didn't wanna deal with Johnny's bullshit while you were having fun.

"How did you get home?" He asked you. "Penny drove me," you responded.

He looked so good, it was almost painful. The bet hadn't even crossed your mind when you decided to wrap your arms around his naked upper body, placing soft kisses on his chest. Your hand moved down to unwrap the towel from his waist.

"Y/N, you're drunk," Johnny said and unwrapped your arms from his body. "So what?" You whined and began to lower yourself and fumble with Johnny’s towel.

He really wanted to, but he couldn't bring himself to have sex with you while you were that drunk. Johnny pulled you up by your arms and shook his head like a disapproving father while handing you your toothbrush.

"You'll thank me tomorrow," he commented. You shrugged, too tired to think of what that could've meant.

You brushed your teeth drunkenly and stripped yourself of your clothes.

You walked into the bedroom and watched as Johnny removed his pillow from the bed and began to exit the room.

"What are you doing?" You asked confused. He stopped in his tracks and turned around. "You wanted us to sleep separately, remember?" Johnny asked.

You didn't have a recollection of ever saying that. "I would never say that," you huffed.

Johnny chuckled. "If you say so," he sighed and placed his pillow back on the bed and laid down.

He closed his eyes and turned off his bedside light, but you kept standing, arms crossed.

"Jooohnnyyy," you whined and he hummed in response.

You sat down on the bed and leaned over Johnny, planting kisses on his neck and down his shoulder, but you didn't reach very far before he shook you off. "Stop, Y/N," he groaned tiredly.

"But, Johnny," you whimpered. "No, Y/N," he tiredly groaned and grabbed your arm, softly forcing you to lay down beside him, your back against his chest, his embrace keeping you locked in.

“Noo,” you whined, squirming in his grip, your ass grinding against his crotch, unintentionally.

The whole night was spent with you waking up occasionally, trying to twist yourself out of Johnny's embrace because you either wanted to drink more or because you were incredibly horny.

Eventually, you just gave up and slept through the night.

[sunnyie-eve]

1 | Welcome to Jackass

Series: Uttermost Lifestyle

Paring: Johnny Knoxville x Original female character

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: None

| MASTERLIST |

"Hey you could be part of doing pranks in public. You don't have to seriously hurt yourself. It's a job that pays better than this shitty restaurant you work at." Chris tells me as I was on my lunch break.

"Are they even gonna want a female as part of the cast?" I ask laughing thinking it's stupid.

"I can talk to them about it. Come on, what does a show of a bunch of fucking idiots need? A smart hot babe." Chris says making stare at him. "I mean it in a good way. Come on, Lex. If I can get them to agree, will you?" He grabs my hands.

"Chris, I can't. Kyle is pissing me off. Then I have to help Caiden out with school." I explain to him.

"Fuck Kyle. And can't your parents help out with Cades?" Chris asks in a whiny tone.

"They're out of state at the moment for my brothers wedding. I wasn't invited and I don't wanna talk about it." I make sure he doesn't ask questions.

"Then my parents will help out with him. They watched him when you came over all the time. Please for me." I knew he wasn't gonna drop it anytime soon.

"Fine, if they agree. Now I gotta get back to work." I leave the table to clock back in.

After work I wait outside on my apartment balcony waiting for Caiden to get off the school bus. As I was waiting I get a phone call. "Hello?" I answer it.

"Hello, is this Alexandria Miller?" The man asks me.

"That's me. How can I help you?" I ask seeing the bus coming into view.

"I'm Jeff Tremaine, and your friend Chris Pontius said us adding you to the show would be a great idea. He says you're a pretty good actor for pranks to be believable and funny. We were thinking of having a test run with you too see what you got. Is tomorrow afternoon good for you?" He asks and tells me all the stuff.

"Yeah, it's good for me." I let him know.

"Okay, great. Can't wait to meet you." He hangs up the phone as Caiden comes into the apartment.

"How was school?" I put my phone away.

"Kyle showed up at school trying to pick me up early. They were going to call you, but I told them your job makes you turn off your phone. And I left my book with the restaurant number here by accident." He puts his bag on the couch.

"That son of a... Hey, tomorrow I have to drop you off at Chris's parents house. I have a new job interview tomorrow afternoon." I let him know.

"Cool, I like hanging out with them. What's the new job?" He asks turning on the tv.

"It's for a show on MTV, Chris is trying to get me on with him."

"What show?!" He gets excited.

"Jackass." I go to the kitchen to start dinner.

"I heard about that because Justin's dad. It would be so cool if your were on tv." He gets off the couch sitting at the bar.

"Well hopefully tomorrow goes well."

~

"Caiden, hurry up. We have to drop you off at my parents so your mother can get a job!" Chris shouts for him as he gets things together for the day.

"I'm almost done!" Caiden yells from his room.

"Can I?" Chris looks at me.

"Go ahead." I wave for him off while I open the front door.

"CHRIS! You know I hate this!" Caiden yells as Chris runs out of his room carrying him over his shoulder.

"You know what happens when you take too long." Chris runs out the door with him so I lock the door behind us.

When we drop Caiden off I thank Chris's parents and they said it was no trouble. The whole ride to wherever Chris was taking me, I was nervous bouncing my knee up and down.

"Don't worry, Lex. You'll do great." Chris pats my knee.

Chris and I have been friends since elementary, even through he was the biggest idiot, he's always been there for me. Especially when I got pregnant in high school because my shitty ex boyfriend took advantage of me. Chris and his parents helped me raise Caiden whenever my parents weren't helping me.

"We're here. Since it's a public prank we're meeting in this parking lot." Chris laughs so I just nod my head.

"You must be Alexandria." A guy smiles as Chris and I walk up to him and a few other guys.

"That's me. Nice to meet you all." I give them a smile trying not to be nervous. They all introduced themselves to me and it seemed like half of the cast was here.

"Okay, so we have a little skit but we wanna see how much you can improv without actually knowing the skit." Jeff tells me.

"So free ball it and go along with whoever. I can do that." I nod my head and we high five.

"Let's go for a walk honey." Johnny grabs my hand leading the way to a crowded place.

"Can I have a small hint?" I ask with a small smile.

"I'm your new boyfriend and your crazy ex shows up while I go to the bathroom." He gives me a wink.

"I can work with that. Especially the crazy ex." I laugh swinging our arms.

Once we get to a busy small restaurant with people sitting outside, we stop and take a seat at an empty table.

"What can I start you two off to drink?" The waitress comes up to us.

"He'll take a water and I'll take a sweet tea." I speak for the both of us.

"I love when you know what I want." Johnny take a hold of my hand as the waitress leaves. "I have to use the bathroom. I'll be right back. Love you." He stand up kissing the top of my head before heading inside.

I look around and see a older couple so I turn to them. "It's our one year anniversary to day." I smile at them.

"That's sweet. I remember our one year." The lady smiles at her husband as Chris takes Johnny's seat.

"Who the fuck was that?" He asks pisses off.

"Why the fuck are you following me?" I turn to face him.

"You didn't answer me!" He slams his hands down making people look at us.

"I don't have to because we aren't together! You need to leave." I point away.

"Fuck you. You're gonna regret this." He stands up taking the water out of the waitress hand throwing it at me before storming off.

"Are you okay?" People around me start to ask as I make myself cry.

"Just my crazy ex." I wipe my tears away.

A van pulls up and Bam and Ryan jump out running over to me grabbing me by the arms and legs. I start to scream and fight as they rush to throw me in the van before anyone can grab them.

"Hey!" Johnny comes running out.

"I told her she would regret it!" Chris yells at him in the driver seat.

When we see some pull out those phone to call the police that's when the crew tells everyone it was just a prank for the show.

"You almost bit me fighting back." Bam makes me laugh.

"I had to make it believable. And you asshole, throwing that drink at me." I glare at Chris making him laugh.

"I made sure to grab the water." He wraps his arm around my shoulder.

"Your a good actress making yourself cry." Jeff tells me.

"Told you. That's how most of our life she got what she wanted. Always made herself cry and I fell for it every time." Chris kisses my cheek.

"I wanna do something." I get an idea.

"What do you have in mind?" Johnny asks crossing his arms.

"I need to make a fake baby and someone who will hit me with a car." I smile.

"I'll do it!" Chris throws his arm up.

"Are you sure?" Jeff and Johnny asks me.

"Do you know how rough big brothers, especially when one didn't want a little sister? I can handle hurting myself."

"If you insist." Jeff says so I get things to wrap my jacket around making it look like a baby was swaddled up.

"I won't hit you too hard." Chris pats the top of my head.

"Thanks make sure the passenger door is unlocked so I can hope in because you're my ride picking me up." I smile at him.

"Did the 13 year old in you come back?" He laughs.

"Maybe see you at the crosswalk." I walk off.

"Good luck!" The guys shout out to me.

Once I get to the busy corner I pull out my phone pretending to call Chris. "Where are you? I gotta get home to put the baby to sleep? Wait a minute." I move the phone slightly. "Excuse me, do you know the name of this street?" I ask a woman and she tells me so I say it to my phone. "Okay, great. Bye." I put phone away and as I see our car I walk out into the street.

Chris bumps me putting the breaks on so I throw myself onto the hood then roll off holding my baby as people around scream and rush to me.

"I'm okay, the baby's okay." I groan as a man helps me up. "What the fuck dude?!" I shout at Chris walking around to the passenger side.

"You said this street." He sticks his head out.

"You're an idiot." I get in the car and we drive off leaving everyone who rushed to help confused.

When we all group up again the guys give me I high five. "How did it look?" I ask rubbing my thigh.

"Fucking amazing." Johnny high fives me again.

"Gonna use both for the show so I guess that means you got the job." Jeff says making Chris pick me up.

"I told you!!!"

"I didn't take you as a girl who would throw herself onto a car then fall onto the street." Bam walks up to me.

"Should have seen how she acted when we were 13. She was super crazy. Sprain both wrist trying to do a dumb trick on a skateboard." Chris tells him.

"Skateboard? You can ride a skateboard?" Bam looks at me.

"Is that surprising news for you? Let me guess... I don't look like they type of girl?"

"Yeah..."

"Well I can." I laugh.

"And super well too." Chris adds.

"Hey Alex, Welcome to Jackass!" Johnny shouts.

[frothingatthemaw]

I Like The Way You Kiss Me

Series ao3 link

Part One: Just One Look at You and I'm Wasted

Sunny hated how pretty she found him. It flipped a switch in her brain that made her want to be close to him, wanting to take back what she was trying to do all together. Maybe she could settle with that. Maybe burning up in the heat of him was something she could grow a likeness for. (Or, Johnny and Sunny have a drunken first date.)

Rated: Not Rated | 5.7k

Tags: First Dates, First Kiss, Drunken Kissing, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Mentioned Marijuana Use, Neurodivergent OCs, Body Dysphoria (if you squint), Stimming, Sensory Issues

Part Two: Can I try again, try again, try again? (COMING SOON)

[jawnjendes]

You Don’t Go To Parties

Summary: Johnny tried his best with her. He wanted to be the best for her. But what Daisy wanted didn’t match that anymore. She wanted “space” and didn’t specify how much or for how long or if she was still his baby. So Johnny left with his tail between his legs and waited for her to call.

He couldn’t tell you how long it’s been since that day, he’s been wasted ever since. Yes, he partied and got wasted a lot but this was different. Usually Daisy was with him, and up until recently Johnny thought that she was taking in all the fun too.

AN: hi, this is a one shot that takes place during the events of my fic sweet as pie, tough as nails. you don’t Have to go back and read the entire fic in order to make sense of this one shot, but it would make me very happy if u did. i think i wrote in enough context to make this a stand alone story, so hopefully it’s not confusing for anyone who’s stumbling upon this series for the first time! hope y’all enjoy a few thousand words of drunk and pathetic johnny knoxville💛

[louscartridge]

Johnny knoxville talks ypu through it.

[bqu1nns]

❥i can elaborate on a few because i have a limit to how much i can write in on the polls. but for the first option, it'll be where phil is working on your fathers farm and he cant stop watching you and you start to slowly fall in love with him......... cute.

❥ive only got 2 requests for knoxville which are a) helping johnny and nursing him back to health after a tough and bruising stunt and b) meeting johnny at a bar (so cute). I WILL POST BOTH OF THOSE AT THE SAME DAY

❥lots and lots of headcanons (both sfw and 18 + if yall are interested) on knoxville....

WHAT DO WE THINK.

[sucker4sixx]

Barracuda

From 2023!

Plot: johnny and reader meet eachothers after a pretty shitty breakup...

Warnings: dirty smut, degrading, praising, public sex, sad topics, online bullying, alcohol, talk of death, anger, cursing

It had been a long, lonely six months since you and johnny broke up. You got invited out to a club by bam who you still kept in contact with after separating from the rest of the jackass boys, he insisted you came since he missed drinking with you and he would "help you find a new 'fuck bunny'" as he put it. It was no secret you where nervous to see johnny again, but that was to be expected. Johnny was the best lover you ever had and you hadnt seen him since week you broke up to give his old shirts back.

You wore a short dark purple dress with fish net tights and black heels, you wanted to blend in with bam as much as possible. *RING RING* you jumped causing you to tug on your earring that you where halfway through putting in your ear, the pain stinging as you flipped your phone open and balanced it between your head and shoulder "hey bam bam" "hey fuck face ill be out front in ten" "perf, thanks" you took five glasses of strong moon juice before leaving to get you more in the mood

The rasp of an engine screamed from outside your small house and you knew it was bam without looking. Quickly you pushed your feet into your black heels and shoved on a plain leather jacket, carefully trotting out to his purple lambo that reflected off the sun that set making the sky a peaceful orange colour "hey bammy" "stop with the stupid ass nicknames, turd" "only when you do" he went silent before giggling alittle "just get your fuckin seat belt on" "yes sir"

Arriving, bam took your hand leading you in, as planned your outfits matched with colour "hey y/n! I didnt know you where coming!" Chris spoke, smoking at the entrance "heya chris, its been awhile" "for sure, see ya inside buddy" bam nods a hello to him and you both walk in, the bar was decently busy. You where led to where ryan sat, beer in hand "hey ry" "hello m'lady" he smiled warmly up at you, you had seen ryan on the occasion since he was always hanging out with bam.

The cheap couch you three sat on was starting to hurt your arse so you decided to have a walk around to see if you could find anymore of the men who you hadnt saw in too long.

You reached the bar and made the mistake of resting your bare arms on the sticky counter, regretting taking off your jacket and leaving it with bam. "Hi, two cans of ciders please" you say to the bartender, sliding him five dollars. He continued to serve the people who had ordered before you giving you time to look around. Your eyes scanned the crowd of badly dressed 20yr olds untill they focused on a tall man who stood staring at you while a woman tried to dance with him "shit..." you muttered, turning back round. Johnny was the last person you wanted to see right now and oh god did he look hot, a tight white tee-shirt that showed off every inch of his toned chest and blue pants that you wish you where on your knees zipping the fly down on, but his ego and your dignity were the only thing stopping you "hi doll face" you heard from behind you only minutes later, deep raspy southern accent... wonder who that is "hey johnny" turning round and seeing the smug look on his face would make you rage so you decided just to keep facing the bar, composing yourself was the smartest decision you could make right now "who ya here with?" Go away. "Just bam" "you two are getting real close" the bar tender handed you your change and your two ciders, finally releasing you from him "whats it to you?" You asked rhetorically, walking back to bam and ryan.

You didnt want to tell them the previous events, scared of ruining their night or their mood "you didnt get any for me?" Bam asked, a dirty look on his face "no?" You laughed almost as if he was stupid for even asking, which he was. You couldnt help but look around to look for johnny whenever you where away in thought, the effect he has always had on you was strong and you felt like a highschool girl looking for her crush in the hall way.

"Hey bam, ryan" a voice spoke infront of you, johnny. Atleast it saves you accidentally pulling a neck muscle looking around for him "hey ass face, sit down!" Bam was doing this purely to annoy you, moving towards ryan so that johnny was forced to sit next to you. He didnt bother talking to you, laughing and talking with bam and ryan while you sat awkwardly, drinking the last of your cider. God you couldnt help but look at his chests, soon he will be needing a bra more than you will. Its kinda hot though "sweetheart, stop staring your getting drool allover yourself" your head snapped up and he sat smiling at you that god damn smile that made you wanna slap it off him "i was daydreaming, and dont call me that" "youve never been good at excuses" you just shrugged and went back to your cider to hint that you really werent interested in talking to him "so whats been going on with you?" Johnny asked, the smile away but surprisingly not due to your back hand "nothing much, its only been six months. You?" You already knew his life was so much more interesting "well... nothin" oh? "What?

Youve not been doing anything? I mean cmon your johnny knoxville your never not doing anything" he just shrugged and furrowed his brows in a guilty way "its hard when ive not got my partner in crime around" the last thing you needed was sappyness from him, you werent over him at all and spent every night crying into that one teeshirt you left behind "jeff i ment, hes been on holiday" "what a fucking gentleman" he laughed that laugh he usually done and nudged you slightly "cmon, cheer up im only jokin!"

Why is he so calm and so happy? Is he not hurt? Did you not mean a single thing to him? Its only been six fucking months and hes as happy as youve ever saw him yet your so down. He caught on to this pretty fast.

"Johnny, how do you do that?" You knew it might start shit but why shouldnt you know "do what?" Sigh "your so cheerful so fast" "reword that doll i dont understand" you turned your head away in embarrassment "just askin if you want a drink?" You gaslighted him to make him think he miss heard you, he raised his brow knowing full well that you where lying "yeah sure, lets go" you had expected him to decline like he always did (because he hated the thought of you slaving around for him) and escape to the dance floor. You sat on a bar stool, him sitting on the one next to it "two ciders and two beers" you say sliding the bartender a ten "love life?" Johnny asks suddenly, catching you off gaurd "huh? What? No!" A laugh escaped both your lips "no love life" you added for good measure "you?" He just shrugs "hardly" johnny clears his throat and looks around alwardly "so how have you really been" "yeah really good!" LIE "the quite life is definitely for me" LIE "Oh really? I thought that was just an excuse to get away from me"

-

You sat at home after coming home early from some stupid skit that would definitely leave johnny dead if it was preformed wrong, you stormed from the set and drove home. He doesnt consider your feelings and what your life would be like if he died from some stupid stunt.

You went home and opened your computer when a news tab popped up "johnny knoxville seen in public

HOLDING HIS GIRLFRIENDS HAND" what?reluctantly you opened it. It was just a picture of you two walking holding hands literally nothing out of the ordinary. You jumped to the comments to see if they would agree that thats literally nothing. Nope.

"Stupid skank!" "Shes too ugly for him!" "Im his perfect girl" "hes too hot, someone break them up"

News report after news report the comments where the same and looking at them was self destruction. Johnny had argued with you multiple times for seeing them or for leaving his work early because you where scared if he died. Recently he had been pent up due to work and had accidentally been taking it out on you.

"Im leaving i cant do this" you whispered to yourself, walking up to your shared room. You got the huge suitcase that u had bough for your holiday in spain only a few months before hand. Once that was full you packed your bags up with everything that couldnt fit.

One by one you brought the bags to the door, ready to lift them into your car

*CLICK*

The front door opened and johnny stood staring at you with an expression either of fear, worry or confusion"oh your home early" he just nodded, staring at your bags

"yeah i decided not to do it, you going on holiday?" You stopped for a moment to decide if you really wanted to do this but it had been on your mind for awhile, if you didnt do it now you would be happy "no pj, im leaving" suddenly he turned his back and locked the door "no your fucking not" "pj please..." he held his back against the door, a horrified look on his face and tears welling in his eyes "baby i cant let you go" "but its for the best" you wiped the tears that ran down your cheeks "your not thinking straight, you need to stop" he pointed an accusing finger at you"i am, please move stop making this more difficult" you walked towards the door and tried to pull him away from it "why are you wanting to leave me, i love you" his voice had gone dark and croaky and he didnt bother wiping the tears that ran down his cheeks away "this is too much for me, you hurt yourself without thinking of the after effects. I wouldnt be able to live if you got seriously hurt. Youve been seriously nagging me for ages i feel like your my parent! The things people say online about me are getting worse, i need a quite life away from..." you trailed off "me?"johnny asked, you just nodded, he grabbed you into a hug "no no no dont leave me i can tell them to stop, ill be better for you" "let me go" you pleaded, the tears streaming onto his shirt now. As if a switch went off he let go and stormed into the living room "fuck!" You could hear him shout, you took your chance and unlocked the door, pushing all your bags to your car "what the fuck!" You could still hear him screaming, trying to make sense of it all. Once your car was full you looked back to the front door that still lay open, no sight of johnny waiting to wave you goodbye. You left to go back to your own small apartment, seeing him appear at his door watching your car leave.

A week later you built up your courage to give johnny back a few shirts he had left at yours or just gave to you.

You arrived at his front door and knocked it loud so that he couldnt use 'i didnt hear you' as an excuse.

*CLICK*

johnny answered the door, he hadnt shaved or been to sleep in ages it looked like, his hair all scruffy and house dark and stinky "what?" His voice croaked "just giving you back your stuff" he took the shirts from your hands and put them on the table in the house giving you a chance to glance around and the un cared for home

"that all?" "Yeah i uh-" "bye" he grumbles over you, slamming the door in your face.

-

The bar tender slides you both your cans and the change, johnny cracks open a can and brings it to his lips "how are you doing?" You ask him "surviving" he gave a loose smile "definitely better than i was, that wasnt my proudest moment" he giggled drinking a little bit more of his drink "im sorry for leaving" the topic had gone sad and dense and you could feel the alcohol making a sour turn in your mood "do you regret it?" You took a quick swig of your cider and tapped your fingers off the can anxiously "you know... yeah i guess, but the comments about me where too much i dont think i could put myself through that again" he shakes his head "forget about all that shit, what about me? Do you regret leaving me?" He desperately searched your eyes, the same look that he showed when he saw u with the suitcases. Tears in both your eyes now, the silence dragged out too long.

His mouth opened to say something but you quickly stopped him by crashing your lips off his, he brought his left hand up to cradle your face, running circles on your cheek with his thumb as he usually did. Very quickly his tongue slid into your mouth, the bitter taste of whiskey and vodka from his and the strong moon juice and cider from yours dancing between your mouths. He pulled away, his eyes dark with lust that you have never seen before "i need you darlin, like real bad" suddenly his voice was deep and southern, the exact way that turned you on "ill call a cab" once again he shook his head "no i cant wait that long". With a tight grip of your hand johnny was dragging you from the bar to the single mens bathroom, bathroom sex sounded fun but you groaned knowing that mens bathrooms were already filthy enough.

As soon as the door slammed shut johnny was cornering you to the door kissing your neck greedily making you moan and hold the back of his head, encouraging him to continue. "Take your clothes off honey" he spoke with a rasp, moving himself away to remove his own clothes. Once you had finished you made your way to him, kissing his neck back while he took off his boxers revealing his dick that was already leaking and red "bend over the sink for me like a good girl" you obliged, resting your arms on the sink that was decaying at the corners, infront of you stood a mirror that had a crack near the top and was stained slightly.

Through it you could see johnny walking up behind you, eyes filled with dangerous amounts of lust as he crouched under you. An evil giggle sounded from under you, johnny gripped the back of your thighs tight while he slowly dragged the tip of his tongue through your folds making you gasp and buckle your knees. "Oh fuck" you whispered through your hand that covered your mouth. Slowly he started licking your clit to tease you, with every painfully slow lick your eyes would clench and moans fell out your mouth "johnny please... go faster" you forced out "pardon doll?" He knew fine well but used it as an excuse just to stop and made you huff "go faster" you desperately pleaded "faster?" "Please..." before you could finish speaking johnny shoved two fingers inside your dripping head and flicked his tongue over your clit repetitively making you quite literally scream in pleasure, gripping onto the sink for dear life.

"Johnny.. slow down" you gasped, struggling to even stand as he continued to plow his fingers into you and make out with your clit "dont act like you dont want this doll" he spoke from under you, he wasnt wrong.

You wouldve been angry as shit if he stopped. Loud moans continued to bark out your mouth, your forehead started to hurt from resting it against the mirror.

Only a minute later he had you weaker, melting against the sink while your legs helplessly shook. Curses spilled out your mouth "fuck... fuck johnny im going to cum"

"cmon darlin, cum around my fingers" with that ur moans where out of controll, he had suck a way with words. "Fuck im-" your moan was cut off by confusion as he pulled out "johnny what the fuck?" He got up and put his hands on the sink infront of you, looking at you through the mirror with a evil smile "god you look so hot when your mad sweetheart" his hand slithered to your neck where he held it up, not hard but hard enough. With a quick movement he shoved his cock into you, making your eyes roll back and a guttural moan scream from you "you want everyone to hear you? Hear you like the little slut you are?" He mocked, continuing to slam his hips upward. You forgot that the bar wasn't extremely busy and if anyone went near the bathroom door they would hear you without a doubt

"hm? Is that a yes? You like them hearing me stuffing you with my fat cock?" You nodded feverishly earning loud grunt from him "good girl"

Soon his strong thrusts became shakey, your mind somehow managing to catch on to the song in the back round, barracuda by heart the song that played when you and johnny first had sex. His grip in your hair tightened almost scalping you as his moans became louder, you looked at him through the mirror the realisation finally setting in. This is the last time, isnt it?

You shed tears as you came around him without warning due to your moans becoming silent from the distracting thought "fuck sweetie, you feel amazing... where should i-" "inside pi" he grabbed you into a hug as he continued to fuck you from behind, a clear reaction to the nickname that u hadnt called him in ages "fuck... oh shit" his grip tightened around your torso as you felt his warm cum filling you up.

He stayed like that for a few, hot breath making itself comfortable in the crease of your neck. You still silently cried without him noticing. "Fuck that was great" he finally spoke, pulling out and instantly cleaning you both up with the rough toilet paper that sat ontop of the toilet. "Yeah" you said blandly, pulling your clothes back on "doll? Look at me." Reluctantly you faced him, red puffy eyes giving away that you were crying "ah, shit.. did i hurt you?” You just shook your head, biting your cheeks to keep in the agonising cries that you let out everyday "speak to me" johnny pulled on his boxers and sat on the toilet lid, you standing like a lost child at the door trying so hard not to cry. Instead of just standing there you walked over to him and sat on his lap, resting your head on his shoulder.

"I cant live without you" you felt pathetic, so utterly pathetic. Sitting in the lap of the man thats heart you broke, crying into his shoulder. A small sniffle sounded behind your ear and you felt his big arms wrap around you "you mean it?" "Pi, breaking up was the worse decision of my life. I beat myself up for it everyday" he just grasped you into a tighter hug, properly crying now breaking your heart by the second, you broke such a strong man. "Cmon honey, lets go back to my place yeah?" He sniffed "yeah lets go"

Once you both decided it was okay you left, a couple of people drawing you dirty looks "y/n!" Bam shouted from behind the both of you, you turned round to see him standing with a random guy "thus is ted hes your fuck bunny for tonight" thats when johnny turned round and bam finally realised what was going on

"what the fuck!" He shouted as you and johnny ran to the door, calling a cab giggling like children.

The house was no different than you had left it apart from the pictures of you where not up on the walls anymore. You made your way to his bedroom and he offered you one of his teeshirts to wear to sleep.

Spooning him was like finally taking a drug that you decided to stop for some reason, his scent invading you but you couldnt care less

"Night doll" he spoke softly in your ear with a sleepy raspy voice "night darling" you replied, earning a huge grin from him that you could feel forming at your neck....

[lexaknoxville]

THIS IS SO SPECIAL TO ME

JOHNNY KNOXVILLE LOML

This might be weird... but do you think you could do some head cannons of Johnny, Ryan, and Bam dating a high maintenance girl/a girly girl/maybe even a bimbo? Like a girl who loves shopping, getting her nails done, the color pink and all that? If not I understand!

Johnny, Ryan, and Bam Dating a High Maintenance Girl!

a/n: Omg this isn't weird to me at all!!! Hell I have even thought about what they would be like dating a girly girl, so I'm sorry if this is a super long headcannons list... But in my defense it was the 2000s and being a high maintenance girl was the thing right?

prompt: Title!

warnings: Fem!reader, very light smut, fluff, partying/drinking

Johnny

You two met when Johnny had a photoshoot for a magazine and was told last minute that he was going to model with a female model

At first he was a bit mad, he didn't really want to shoot with another person let alone a girl he would have to do some sort of sexual poses with

But when you walked in the door in your pink crop top, low rise jeans, pink heels with fluff on the tips, and your white hand bag he fell in love

He tried to keep it as professional as he could while shooting with you

Was quick to ask you out after the shoot, which you happily said yes too.

And the rest is history!

He knows very well that your high maintenance but he really doesn't care cause he loves it

Like after he gets ran over by a bull he likes going home and listening to how you got your nails done today and how you got 'JK' on them while you cuddle with him

It really brings him down to earth

He would love to go shopping with you

Though at first you would fight with him about paying because you had enough money to buy your own things but soon just let it happen cause you knew he wouldn't change his mind

Plus who doesn't like to be spoiled?

Johnny would love when you tried things on for him he would call it his own mini fashion show

Even though he thinks you look great in anything he still is iffy about the length of things...

"Whatda think Knox?"

"Baby you look great, really, but that skirt is no longer than half a ruler-"

But he would love picking out clothes for you, his favorite things to pick out for you being low rise jeans and cropped tank tops

But going back to him spoiling you...

I'm talking flowers, chocolate, clothes, ANYTHING.

He just loves seeing how excited you get :((

Even while he is away filming he would buy you stuff to surprise you when he gets home

"Hey Steve-o do ya think Yn would like this?"

Also when he is away filming he calls you as soon as he is finished filming for the day and tells you everything he did and you happily listen for hours until you both fall asleep on the phone

Weird side note but I feel like he has you keep random things in your purse for him??

Like lighters, chapstick, his sunglasses, really random things

You two 100% would match during red carpet events

Johnny always lets you pick your dress before he picks his suit though

A lot of your red carpet looks have probably been super popular with the press

The headlines in magazines probably say "See the outfits Johnny Knoxville and Yn Yl stole the carpet in once again!" or "See Johnny Knoxville's and Yn Yl's eye-catching matching look!" and maybe even "Johnny Knoxville and Yn Yl, the best dressed couple!"

Omg when you two go out and party with the Jackass guys it's always a good time

Even though Johnny thinks there is no reason for you to start getting ready at 7:25pm when you guys are leaving for the party till 11:30pm

But either way he always thinks you look great

Johnny could always be found near you no matter where you are

Whether it's standing outside of the bathroom to wait for you, sitting next to you with an arm around you, or him just standing behind you while you order something from the bar

But you usually love to dance at parties which isn't Johnny's strong suit...

So he happily watches as you dance with Chris (nothing handsy though) or one of your friends from the booth you guys claimed

You will usually come back and take a seat on Johnny's lap and he'll kiss the back of your neck

"You looked so good out there dancing doll."

But if a guy is flirting with you so god help him.

"You're a real pretty thing baby."

"Yeah and that 'real pretty things' boyfriend is going to rip ya a new ass if you don't back off."

When Johnny gets to drunk he will get handsy with you

Maybe even put a hand up your dress and with a drunken blush on his face tell you his hot you are

But when you drink too much you can get mouthy, which has led to Johnny having to throw you over his shoulder and walk you out of the bar while holding your heels in his free hand to avoid you getting into fights with men 10x bigger than you

When you go on set with him Johnny makes sure no one is messing with you

If someone even dares to they will have the worst week of their life coming for them

The guys think you're a sweetheart though so they never mess with you

But they do find it funny how whipped Johnny is for you

"Knoxville would probably lick the bottom of Yn's pink heels if she asked." -Bam 100%

You don't mind being on camera at all either, Johnny often seen having his arm tossed around you

But when something gross happens and your on set the camera crew was told by Jeff to pan the camera wherever you are

You just have the best reactions and Jeff thinks it's funny how you shake your hands and turn your head away while gagging

"Ew that's totally gross! Why the hell would you ever even!?"

Johnny loves to kiss you, your cherry chapstick is addicting to him

But he totally hates when you wear lip gloss, it's sticky and gross to him

"I'm not kissin' you when you have that shiny stuff on your lips Yn!"

"But why not :("

You shower him with kissed and hugs all the time though lip gloss or not

Johnny loves that pda is ok with you too, he loves everyone knowing your his and he's yours

Overall he would love dating a girly girl.

Ryan

You two met back in high school

Ryan was pretty known throughout the school for doing dumb things with his friends but you were known for being the cheer captain and dating a football player

But when you got your new classes and were sat next to Ryan you ended up dumbing your boyfriend for Ryan, even telling your ex boyfriend that cause you didn't think it would matter you left him for Ryan

But Ryan walked the halls of his school with his guard up high for the rest of his high school life because he didn't want to get jumped by the football team.

This man would LOVE dating a high maintenance girl

Like he just loves it for some reason?

He probably calls you Barbie cause he thinks you act like a human version of her

From the purses, nails, clothes, and shoes

But he totally loves it all

I feel like if you two moved into somewhere together it would be more your stuff than his

Like he simply wouldn't care what you did with the place because he just doesn't care

As long as he has room in the closet he really doesn't care

But this has caused the boys to make fun of his new crib...

"Have you seen Ryans place? He lives in a Barbie house, everything is pink and sparkly!"

Ryan loves when you two get to sit on the couch and watch stuff though

Only because when he lays on your chest you scratch his head with your long nails

He also loves when you two do face masks, he doesn't really care for it while it's on but he loves when he gets to sit on the toilet with you between his legs while you apply it and take it off

You get beard burn from Ryan bad cause you always are giving him kisses

Ryan has a favorite lip balm you use and it's strawberry

He loves the way it feels on his lips and the way it tastes

Though Ryan loves your chapsticks and lip balms he hates your lipstick

There has been countless times where Ryan and you will be making out and you push him off cause you remember you're wearing your expensive lipstick

Always gets him frustrated but he's learned to just let it go

But Ryan usually doesn't like bringing you out to party because he just doesn't want you to have to deal with all the drunk guys

But when he does once in a while your the center of attention

All the guys talking to you asking you about girly things and you happily talk to them

But you sadly are sometimes blind to see that they are flirting with you

"I went shopping the other day and found these super cute pair of underwear!"

"Really? What color are they?" - Probably Steve-o with a dumb smirk on his face

"They're my favorite color." - Ryan while shooting daggers at Steve-o

When you get brought on set you are most likely on Ryan's lap or have your arms wrapped around his arm

No one messes with you, no one wants to feel the wrath of Ryan and possibly Bam

One time Steve-o jokingly threw your new heels in the water and when you started crying Ryan was pissed

Steve-o ended up getting shot with a paintball gun Ryan found in a van 14 times and even got a hard slap in the back of the head

Ever since then no one has even dared to mess with you

That doesn't mean Ryan doesn't mess with you though

You have found a couple of large spiders placed in your purses by him or been thrown into lakes by him while on set

You probably yell at Ryan all the time to shower

You insist he smells bad and if he won't take a shower you drown him in your floral perfumes

Ryan has been told by Jackass members, crew members, fans, family, and even strangers that he smells like a girl

He likes it though, it let's everyone know he's taken

Probably got a random tattoo on his arm that reminds you of him

Maybe a bow or your favorite flower

When you showed him you thought it was really cool and sweet which only made Ryan love it more

When you go shopping and bring Ryan along he gives you honest criticism on outfits

"It kinda clashes with the belt don't you think?"

"It's cute but not with those shoes."

"That would look good with that skirt you have."

But if you dare to bring him into the dressing room with you expect a very handsy Ryan

"Just making sure the fabric is good honey."

"But Ryan that's my underwear, not the skirt."

You two have had a couple of quickies in dressing rooms

But overall he treats you like a princess cause he thinks you're a real life one :)

Bam

You two met during cky when Bam was kicking footballs at cars, when Bam hit your car with a ball you had turned around to go back cause who does that?

Bam was expecting some old guy to get out of the car yelling but when you stepped out in a short dress and heeled boots him, Dico, Ryan, and Chris were all shell-shocked

Bam was quick to begin apologizing you even saying they are filming for a movie where they pull pranks and that he would even give you money to fix the non-existent dent

You laughed it off though telling them it was fine and as long as there was no damage it's ok.

Out of the four boys who all wanted your number Bam was the only one with the balls to ask, and when he did he surprisingly got your number

Bam dating a high maintenance girl makes perfect sense to me

Cause he is kinda high maintenance too right???

But he EATS UP having a hot girly girl girlfriend

He even funds basically all of your shopping trips

Hell he even joins shopping with you!

Though you two have very, very, different styles

"Babe you'd look smoking in this!"

"But Bam it's so... dull... and not colorful..."

But he will go into your stores with you cause you go into his

Though he doesn't enjoy it when you take super long and ends up messing around with things

But when it comes to you trying things on he will sit quietly and wait for you to come out of the room

He always says everything you wear is cute which is sweet but expensive

His favorite store you go to though is any lingerie store ever

He picks out some things for you to try on and loves seeing all of them

"Do a spin for me, I wanna see it from ever angle."

"God you're so hot."

"You're totally getting that right?"

But when it comes to his room he gets mad when your pink blankets are out cause his room is supposed to be 'dark' and 'badass'

Ape always tells him to stop whining over one pink blanket

Also Ape and Phil ADORE you

Ape loves going shopping with you and even just baking with you, your like the daughter she's always wanted

Phil loves you cause you always yell at Bam when he's mean to him, which no one has done before

"Bam you're being a total dick for no reason at all! Stop it!"

"Sorry babe."

While filming Viva La Bam you were on film almost every episode because Bam wanted the whole world to know you were his

You were also the host for many of their stupid game shows, Bam even going the extra mile and buying you those fancy dresses hosts wear

Dico, Chris, and Ryan frequently flirted with you which always resulted in Bam hitting them or doing whatever he could think of

Poor Chris one time caught more than several pies to the face just for saying you looked pretty one day :(

But Bam never and I mean NEVER would prank you no matter if it was on Jackass or Viva La Bam

He doesn't even let you on the Jackass set cause he says it's quote, "Literal hell."

So you only go to premieres and things like that with him

Always dressed to impress too

We all know Bam loves being a bit extra at red carpets too so one time he had you shower him in dark pink lipstick kisses

His favorite photo of him on a red carpet is you kissing his cheek while he already had at least twenty other lipstick marks on his face while his cheeks were pink and he had a goofy smile on his face

I feel like you would model his skateboards for him?

Like since they are pink Bam thought it would be cool to have you hold them for photos since you love pink

Bam ended up going all out for the shoot and the photos were so good he made posters of you with them

Which sold out SUPER fast

He would be so excited to tell you :(((

"Yn! Babe! Your posters sold out already!"

Bam also would be very affectionate behind closed doors

Kisses, hugs, cuddling he loves it all

He also likes being the little spoon, but he made you swore to never tell

He likes laying his head between your thighs and hugging your leg while sleeping :,)

He also loves making out with you

But like the sloppy making out, the kind that leaves your lipstick smeared on your face and his along with his hair becoming a mess

I think he tries giving you hickeys but you quickly shove him off saying you don't want the bruises on your neck cause they would look bad on camera

This totally would make him grumpy

But Bam loves being high maintenance with his high maintenance girl!!!

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

“Hello, Nurse!”

Y/N, the fresh faced medic on the Jackass set, cannot seem to catch a break from the guys on set, especially after Knoxville comes up with a plan to welcome her into the family. But who can blame them? She’s pretty fun to mess with…

Johnny Knoxville X Fem!Reader, Bam Margera X Fem!Reader, Steve-O X Fem!Reader, Chris Pontius X Fem!Reader, Ryan Dunn X Fem!Reader

(Fluff, angst)

1.9k Words

Warnings: Highly suggestive content, blood kink, medical settings, wound description, hazing, nudity, premature ejaculation, snakes, hangovers

An: Thank you so much for sending in requests!! I find that I really like writing Y/N’s with vivid personalities, wether it be very outspoken or, like in this fic, shy ones! I think there’s a lot of really cute and funny scenarios that could come from reader inserts that are just as vivid as the guys themselves! XD Anyways, thank you for the requests and please keep sending them!!

Your eyes went a little wide at what was sitting in front of you. At the time you took up this job, you were expecting to disinfect superficial wounds and, worst case scenario, have to splint a sprained ankle. Tending to an anaconda bite wasn’t exactly what you had in mind, much less eight of them at a time, but today that’s what Johnny was sporting when he walked into the medic trailer and hopped up on the exam table. Looking up at you through the tint of his sunglasses, he seemed oddly at ease as he watched you carefully inspect his muscular forearms- the way his blood trickled down in thin, shiny ribbons to drip off of his fingertips and onto the floor. Sensing your concern, Johnny tried to crack a joke after you nervously mumbled something about getting him on some antibiotics, “Y’know, they oughta get that snake on antibiotics!”

Going about cleaning Johnny’s wounds, you gently steadied one of his hands with yours, dashing the thought of how the way his hands were bigger than yours made you feel as you doused his arm in rubbing alcohol. “Did that hurt…?” You knew grown men to wail like babies when you disinfected their wounds, but the only reaction you got out of Knoxville was a wince and a slight flexing of his muscles. He shook his head, although you could tell from the way he was half talking through his teeth that he was trying to play it cool in front of you, “No, ma’am. Not a bit.” With nimble fingers, you wrapped Johnny’s arms in gauze, trying not to fumble at the way he was staring at you while you worked. “I swear, Y/N- you’ve got the hands of an angel…” A pink blush spread across your cheeks as you tried to hide how the affection in that comment got to you, much to his satisfaction.

Johnny’s sense of humor made you feel the most constérnale around him out of all the guys, but that isn’t to say you were totally at ease. Not only were you new on set, you had never worked on a set in the first place! Fresh out of med school, you were searching for a job and caught an ad in the yellow pages for someone with basic medical training. You ended up taking the place of the previous medic, Ed: this big, rough and tumble old dude whose job didn’t so much entail bandaging injuries and handing out ice packs as it involved handing out pills for a living. I mean, he was good at it, but there’s only so much OxyContin and Percocet can take care of.

So when he got moved onto another set by the union, that’s where you came in. Cue a week of everyone asking where the medic was, only for you to have to tell them that yes, you were the medic- and given the fact you were on a Jackass set, there was no way you were avoiding getting pranked. It was actually Bam who discovered your skittishness first given his general brash personality, but that gave Johnny this genius idea: you were the perfect person to fuck with! Consider it a friendly bout of hazing to welcome you into the family. He got all the guys together one day before filming, whispering barely out of your earshot, “Okay- this girl is really nervous, so next time any of you get hurt, just- fuck with her a little. It’ll be hilarious!” Everyone agreed that it would make for some good footage and they all enlisted to try and find fun and inventive ways to freak out the cute medic girl. Nobody was more excited for this than Bam.

Your nose was buried in one of the horribly unorganized medical kits you were given on your first day when your ears perked up at the sound of Bam’s voice, “Hey, Y/N-'' When you turned your head, he didn’t even make two steps into the trailer before he turned his back to you, dropped his baggy jeans to his ankles, and bent over, “I got stuck in the ass with somethin’- does it look alright?” Hell, before this, Bam did nothing but tease you day in and day out, and now you were staring at his essentially naked body.

“U-uh…Looks good!” Your voice jumped nearly an octave when you responded. Given the fact none of the guys ever wore shirts on set, you got a good look at the way his toned back muscles flexed with his movement as he turned around to you, entirely deadpan, “I know it looks good- but what about the injury?” At least to your trained eye, you couldn't discern anything wrong with his pasty white ass, so all you did was mumble something about how if the pain persists he should come back later, while you ushered him out. Stumbling as he pulled his pants up, Bam chuckled, “Oh, I will!”

The second he stepped out of the door, Knoxville was standing there with the camcorder, barely out of your line of sight. Bam was still buckling up his pants as he gleefully recounted to the camera, “Dude, she was freakin’ out so bad- I thought she was gonna pass out!” I mean, it was kinda expected, given the way he had been chasing you around and pestering you like some kinda schoolyard bully for the past week, but god it made for some amazing footage. “D’you think we could get Steve-O in there ne-“ Johnny was cut off by the sound of shattering glass somewhere onset. “Nevermind.”

Besides Knoxville, Steve was the only one who had a major injury when he walked into the trailer- well, walked as well as he could. See, they were filming this awesome stunt which involved him going through a bunch of tube lights on his skateboard, as he explained to you from where he sat on the table, and the obvious happened- lots of glass, even more blood. “It looks rad though, right?” Just like Johnny, he didn’t seem that perturbed by what happened, idly swaying his legs as blood ran hot down his calves and soaked into his socks. Swallowing, you were at least happy to finally be able to do what you were being paid for and you set to work on, inspecting the damage.

It was mostly his legs, but the tiny shards of glass stuck in Steve’s skin that shimmered like crushed ice littered the whole left side of his body. The part you were most concerned about was his face- I mean duh, he’s a movie star and to your knowledge that’s how he makes a living- so you started there, leaning close and gently tilting his head to one side. And the thing is it’s not that often a girl like you gets that close to a guy like Steve- sure, he made out with sluts at the bar every other night, but to have this absolute angel of a woman right there, tending to him so sweetly, looking at him with those pretty doe eyes- god, he could practically feel your breath against his skin. It was just too much.

“I can’t do this. I’m out.” Excusing himself, Steve hopped off of the table, leaving you blinking in confusion. “But- we’re not finished…?” Turning back to you, he spoke over his shoulder, “Yes, I am.” In your head, you wrote it off as another case of celebrities being divas, but he was long gone before you could stop him and Johnny was eagerly waiting outside. “Hey, man- how’d it go?” Steve’s sigh of defeat told him it was mission failure even before he mimed out what happened: jerk off motion in front of the crotch, then palms in the air. And as Steve went off to go clean himself up, Knoxville set to work on a new plan.

“Y'know, I was a nurse once too!” Chris chuckled, leaning against a counter top, “I was in Thailand working at this monkey hospital, which isn’t all that different from what you do now that I think about it!” You first assumed he was stopping by to chat, which you didn’t mind because he was a nice guy and you always loved listening to his stories from Wildboyz, but that wasn't the case. “Anyways, the reason I came here was-“ Your eyes went wide and you let out a little squeak as, for the second time that day, a man dropped trou in the medical tent, “Y’see, a snake bit my snake!”

Well, they didn’t cover this in medical school. Stumbling over your words, you asked him the routine snake bite questions- it wasn’t a venomous snake and the wound wasn’t even bleeding, but it was certainly an infection risk, so you ended up settling for applying some neosporin and bandaging him up. The feeling of the cold goo on his skin made Chris giggle a bit as you gingerly dabbed it on, and right as you were kneeling down in front of him in maybe the most intimate position you could be in, he decides to speak up, “Y’know, you’d look great in one of those little nurse uniforms!” Averting your eyes as hard as you could, you stuttered, “ I’ll, uh- I’ll think about that…” From the looks of it, Chris was probably thinking about that right now.

And of course someone just had to stumble in on that scene. It was Ryan, who didn’t seem to pay any attention to the incredibly suggestive display going on in front of him. He nonchalantly took a seat in one of the plastic chairs in the corner of the room and leaned his head back, waiting patiently with his eyes closed. Once you got Chris’ pants up and rushed him out, you grabbed a new pair of nitrile gloves as you went to where Ryan was sitting, “How can I help you?” Blinking awake behind his sunglasses, he sat up a bit straighter, “Oh, yeah- I’m just,” Ryan sighed, “really hungover right now…can I get some aspirin or something?”

Finally, something you could take care of! “Oh, of course! If you’d like, you could lay down for a few minutes.” Ryan watched you grab some pills from the cabinet and a Dixie cup of water with a smile on your face. God, Steve was right - this chick really is an angel. “Thanks.” He threw the pills back and took a swig of the water. “You know, I don’t know how you do it- takin’ care of us idiots.” To put it this way, if he had your job, stitching up morons who hurt themselves for fun, he would’ve put in his two weeks a while ago. But the fact that they hurt themselves on purpose never seemed to get in the way of the fact you were genuinely happy to help, no matter the circumstance. “Really, it’s no problem! I, uh…I guess I just like making people feel better.”

“Dude- what’s the holdup?” Two hours elapsed from the time Ryan went in the tent to the time he left, and Johnny heard nothing from him in that time. That was because shortly after you gave him those pills- think ten minutes- he was out cold. But the day was slow, and you didn’t see any purpose in waking him, so you decided to let him sleep off whatever was bothering him. Half awake, Ryan put a hand on Knoxville’s shoulder. “That woman needs a raise.”

[strcwbrryklss]

CHAPTER ONE of my johnny knoxville slowburn fic is out !

[michelle-is-writing]

Aspen, Johnny Knoxville

Word Count: 1.3k~

With how much Jackass has travelled over the years, you’d think making hotel reservations would be easier. However, it is the jackass guys we’re talking about, and even though my husband is one of the sweetest and most caring guys, he’s included in that jumble. Then again, Johnny was one of the very first members of Jackass; so the bar for common sense never started out very high.

“There’s no way I’m sharing a room with him,” Dave states as he points at Pontius, obviously upset with the hotel’s recent revelation. “Why should we all have to share a room, huh? Why can’t we just go to another hotel?”

“Because this is the one we booked, and the floor we have only has big rooms with double beds,” Jeff states, already tired of Dave’s constant complaints. “Now just shut the hell up.”

Meanwhile, Johnny and I remain silent as everyone discusses their roommate plans for the next few nights. The guys decided to go to Alaska for an upcoming skit they’re wanting to do, and already, some aren’t happy thanks to the harsh weather change.

“Well, I already found my roommate,” Johnny points out the obvious as he pulls me closer to him by my waist. I only giggle up at him as the guys groan around us. Many years of marriage later and the guys are still waiting for our honeymoon phase to be over. Unfortunately for them, I don’t think of it as just a 'phase’ that will go away sooner or later.

Playing along with him, I gasp dramatically and slap his chest gently. “You'd choose me over Steve-O? What?” I joke making him snicker as he only tugs me closer to him. I’m not much for PDA, but I’ll happily accept the little bit of warmth coming from Johnny’s hold.

“Oh, honey, I’ll always choose you,” he assures me, his face barely inches away from mine as he grins coyly. His face is so close to mine that I can even smell the cinnamon gum he has in his mouth - the same gum I watched him take out of my purse right before we got here.

Before I can stare back at Johnny’s smirking face for any longer, Bam’s voice interrupts us, sarcasm clearly laced in his voice. “Can you two just not for five fucking seconds?” He complains, the guys fake gagging around him to match his attitude. However, Johnny and I just look back at each other with unfaltering smiles on our faces.

Thankfully, the guys are able to get their rooms sorted out, allowing all of us to head up to our rooms and get comfortable. We’ve been on the road for who knows how long because somebody had the great idea to go to Aspen for some stunts. After all of the driving and harsh temperature changes due to it being late at night, you’d think Johnny would want to go to bed or just relax, but nope. Not Johnny.

It’s only after a couple rounds that Johnny is happy, and I can’t say I’m unhappy as I thoroughly enjoyed those couple of rounds. However, I can say that these rooms are pretty small, and I have no doubt that the walls are thin as well.

“I’m so happy I married you,” Johnny murmurs to me after everything, making me smile despite the growing embarrassment gnawing at me. There were several times where my ears caught the immature laughter of the guys outside, and even though we tried to keep quiet, a few moans slipped out here and there.

“I think they heard us,” I point out to Johnny in a quiet voice, but I don’t think it reaches his ears.

“You’re so stunning,” he responds, making me roll my eyes.

“Johnny, I’m serious!” I tell him, sitting up in bed. “Get up and make sure no one is outside of the door or anything, please?” I practically beg him, earning a similar eye roll back.

“…fine.” Johnny groans after a few seconds, shuffling out of bed before throwing his pants on begrudgingly. After doing so, he heads to our hotel door and unlocks it before peeking his head out and turning to look down the hallway. My eyes watch him closely, waiting for the inevitable pin to drop.

“Hey, guys, if you could keep the noise down, I’m a little busy in here,” Johnny decides to yell out, making me completely freeze in the bed.

“Why the fuck are you talking?!” I hear Bam yell back, “We’ve had to suffer for the last thirty damn minutes hearing you and (Y/n) go at it like animals in there!”

As if I wasn’t already covered up by all of the blankets because of cold, I scoot myself farther underneath the covers to hide my burning face. I’ll never be able to live this moment down with the guys, and I’ll never let Johnny forget it either.

My brain doesn’t have enough time to register the blankets being lifted up behind me before a surprised shriek leaves my lips feeling a cold body jump in bed behind me, equally chilly arms wrapping around me and pulling me close at the same time. Instantly, I recognize Johnny’s hold from anywhere and shrink more into my blankets with an embarrassed giggle. “That was mortifying, PJ!” I murmur, earning a loud laugh back from him. He knows when I use his actual name, I’m not joking around.

“I’m sorry, honey,” Johnny apologizes, nuzzling his nose into my neck as he gently rocks us back and forth in the bed. “I didn’t realize the guys were standing out there… not saying it would have changed much, but-“

My laughter cuts Johnny off from saying anymore as he begins to join me in my giggling fit. It’s only when Johnny begin to nuzzle his face into my neck that our laughter begins to die down, causing me to turn over toward him. With our noses almost touching, I smile at him as I continue to get comfortable in Johnny’s hold. The whole time, he stares at me intensely, making me lift a questioning brow at him. “What?” He asks, shuffling his body even more against me. “Can I not stare at my stunning wife?”

Hearing the descriptor from earlier leave his lips once again, I only smile at him before closing my eyes. As I do this, I take a deep breath before pushing my head deeper into the pillow beneath our heads. For a few seconds, the room remains quiet (all except for the loud music still coming from the rest of the guys’ rooms), but Johnny soon breaks that silence. It starts with the rustle of the covers before his hand rests itself on my hip and he speaks up.

“Do you feel okay?” He asks, making me reopen my eyes to look back at him. “I didn’t hurt you, right?”

I love these moments where Johnny’s sweet and caring; we might be married, but I still find my heart beating faster in the moments where Johnny shows that tender side of him as he always has to be the jokester or prankster of the group.

“No, I’m okay, honey. I promise,” I tell him before pressing a soft kiss to his lips to seal the promise. However, before I can pull away, Johnny moves a hand behind my head and kisses me back fervently. This lasts for a few more seconds until he pulls away with a small sigh.

“You know I always want to make sure,” Johnny reminds me, earning a nod back from me. With that, we’re finally able to relax together with nothing else worrying us; however, once again, it’s Johnny who ends up breaking the silence in the room.

“After this, I have realized I cannot go anywhere else without you again,” he tells me, a smirk evident in his voice. “Ready to fill out your passport, babe?”

[lexaknoxville]

𝐂𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡 - ᴊᴏʜɴɴʏ ᴋɴᴏxᴠɪʟʟᴇ

“𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥, 𝘪’𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶” - 𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘭 𝘤𝘢𝘪𝘯

description. | in which the boys go to film on a ranch, and knoxville can’t seem to keep his eyes off the girl in the cowboy boots.

warnings. | foul language. crude humor? idk man normal jackass shit.

notes. | if you enjoy pls like and reblog!

REQUESTS ARE OPEN! MASTERLIST!!

Hot couldn’t even describe it.

Summers in the south were vicious. Some days the heat was enough to shelter you inside, not even the constant efforts of the ac units were enough to cool people down. Today was almost one of those days. Had it been just the tiniest bit hotter and not a single person would be out here running around.

Lucky for you though, your boss, Jim, decided that it wasn’t all that bad. So against several complaints, you and all your coworkers got sent in today. Jim made the argument that yall had “Special Visitors” coming in today, and he couldn’t afford not having a full staff.

You’re not exactly sure what you expected out of the visitors, but you definitely weren’t expecting to pull up to an entire film crew sitting up by the stables.

“God this is gonna be fun”

You were able to avoid the filming going on outside all the way until your lunch break, which was unusual considering Jim is usually up your ass. Deciding to go for a quick smoke break you headed out to your car, only to be stopped by the sound of hollering and something falling over.

The sound was loud and the boisterous laughter following soon after had you not only curious, but a little frightened. Naturally, the curiousity got the best of you. Finding the source of all the noise wasn’t hard considering the large crowd of people.

Spotting one of your favorite coworkers, you pushed your way to the front to see what all the commotion is about.

“Janae, what in the hell is going on up here” you asked with an amused tone.

All she could do was laugh and shrug. Clearly confused as well, but mostly entertained.

Finally turning around to look at the group causing all the ruckus, they were interesting, to say the least. There was a boy with short black hair and black clothes, a goofy looking guy with a slightly grown out buzz cut, a guy with shoulder length brown hair, a blonde man with a beard, and a taller guy wearing a red cowboy hat.

odd group.

Standing in a circle of sorts, the 5 men were talking to the camera. It wasnt easy to make out what they were saying but there was definitely something along the lines of “horse shit” thrown in there. They stood around and talked for a minute before the man in the cowboy hat laughed loudly and ushered them away.

As they were all walking to do whatever it was they had planned out, your eyes seemed to linger on the cowboy a little longer than necessary. Finally taking the time to analyze his appearance, you realized he’s actually really fucking hot.

He had on a pair of dark sunglasses, dirty red converse that matched his hat, a little facial hair, and amazing arms. The sleeves of his t-shirt were tight around his biceps, and god did he look good.

You weren’t sure if it was the muscles, the light tan, or the way he was covered in sweat, but it drove you crazy. For the first time in a long time, the heat of the south was on your side.

The way you were staring must of caught the man’s attention, cause when you looked up he was staring right back at you. He smiled at you, and sent a small wave.

You waved back, but kept your smile small, trying to play it cool even though he had definitely saw you staring . He laughed a little, looking oddly flustered, and turned back to his group.

“Oh god, Janae i’m out. I’m gonna go find something to keep me busy. Bye baby.” you muttered out, a mixture of embarrassed and nervous. “Bye honey”

Taking long strides, you made your way back to work. Your mind still filtered back to what happened, you never get that flustered over random men!

What you didn’t know was that Johnny had watched you walk off. He had planned on showing off to get your attention, but you had left before they could even start the stunt.

“Knoxville i swear if you don’t get your head out of your ass i’m gonna smack the shit out of you.” ahhh Jeff always had such a way with words.

“Sorry man, i’m focused i swear” he wasn’t.

“No you weren’t, you were too busy checking out “mrs cowboy boots” over there.” Jeff laughed. Johnny just laughed, knowing he couldn’t deny it now.

“Listen, just get through this stunt and you can go talk to her during your break, ok man?” he swore. “ ok ok, let’s get this over with” he agreed before clapping Jeff on the back.

They had just finished all their stunts and Johnny was itching to come find you. He had been counting down the minutes until he could get off.

“Hey Jeff, i’m gonna go on over there, i’ll be back in a minute” Johnny shouted. “ok man, have fun” he shouted back, chuckling.

Immediately after getting the ok from Jeff, he ran off to find you. He must’ve searched around outside for more than fifteen minutes, but there was absolutely no sign of you. Right as he was about to give up, he saw the woman you were talking to earlier.

“Hey! Hey ma’am im sorry to bother you but umm” he paused, not knowing how to go about this without seeming like a creep. “i noticed you were talking to this woman earlier, and ive gotta ask, what’s her name”

Janae paused, trying to think of who he could be referring to. Once it finally hit her she smiled “Oh! was she wearing a white shirt and boots?”

“Yeah! yeah she was. What’s her name?” Johnny was almost bouncing he was so excited. “Yeah her names y/n, real sweet girl. She’s right inside that door over there if you want to go talk to her.”

Johnny swore at this moment that this woman was an angel. “Thank you so much, have a nice day!” he exclaimed, already turning around to go see you.

Once he finally got up to the door, he took a deep breath, making sure to collect himself. He opened up the door and walked inside, relieved to feel the cool air on his damp skin. He looked around for a quick minute before his eyes finally landed on you.

You were faced away from him, looking at some kind of paper. He took a second to admire you. A clean white shirt, a pair of dark jeans, and some roughed up cowboy boots.

God you were gonna be a problem, he could already feel it. He knew it as soon as he saw you outside, but seeing you up close made it so much worse. There was absolutely no reason for a woman to be so damn beautiful.

“Excuse me ma’am.”

Hearing another person in the once empty room startled you. You whipped around and took a second to catch your breath. Realizing it was the cute guy from earlier, you straightened yourself out and walked towards where he was standing.

“Oh gosh i’m so sorry, have you been standing there long? i was in my own little world over here” you admitted. “No, no i just got here, sorry to spook you.”

“No baby you’re fine, i should’ve been paying attention!” it was then that Johnny noticed your accent, and he could’ve sworn his knees almost buckled.

god she has a pretty smile.

shit he was staring.

“Ok, i’m just going to try to be straight forward here doll, i asked your friend outside where i could find you.” he admitted sheepishly. “I saw you out there while we were filming, and i was gonna come talk to you but you ran off before i could get the chance!”

All you could do was laugh. “Yeah i kinda dodged you a bit huh… my nerves got the best of me” you laughed. “So what’s your name cowboy?” you joked, motioning to his obnoxious red hat.

“Johnny, it’s nice to meet you.” he held his hand out for you to take. “Y/n, nice to meet you too.”

Feeling how much bigger his hands are than yours had you a little flustered. it was then you realized just how much bigger than you he really was. He had to be over 6 foot, and his wide shoulders added to the look.

“Well y/n, how would you feel about going out some time. I’m in town for a few more weeks if you’re interested.” Johnny questioned nervously.

Honestly you were shocked. There was absolutely no way this man who was not only handsome, but apparently pretty well known, was asking you out.

Your silence had Johnny worried, “If you don’t want to i understand completely, absolutely no pressure.”

“No, i’m sorry! i would love to!” you answered frantically, worried you had made a bad impression. “Why don’t you give me your number, and we can talk about getting together? I know some good places around here!”

Johnny let out a sigh of relief and smiled at you. God there was no way you were getting over that smile anytime soon.

“That sounds great doll”

THIS LITERALLY SUCKS IM SO SORRY!

IM HAVING SUCH BAD WRITERS BLOCK 😭 I HOPE YALL ARENT DISAPPOINTED 🙏

LET ME KNOW IF YOU WOULD MAYBE LIKE A PART 2?!?

tags: @vaporub4ever @maddieeb3 @stplvrr @ilovewhiteboyz

[sunnyie-eve]

Uttermost Lifestyle Masterlist

Series: Jackass

Paring: Johnny Knoxville x Original female character

Summary: Some people didn't like the idea of a girl being apart of Jackass and if they wanted her, they wanted her to at least show some nudity like the guys to be entertained. Unlike most of the public, the cast loved and treated her like family despise what people thought of her. They let her do whatever she was comfortable doing and never forced her to do anything she didn't wanna do.

{ Ch.1 | Ch.2 | Ch.3 | Ch.4 | Ch.5 | Ch.6 | Ch.7 | Ch.8 | Ch.9 | Ch.10 | Ch.11 | Ch.12 | Ch.13 | Ch.14 | Ch.15 | Ch.16 | Ch.17 | Ch.18 | Ch.19 | Ch.20 | Ch.21 | Ch.22 | Ch.23 | Ch.24 | Ch.25 | Ch.26 | Ch.27 | Ch.28 | Ch.29

[frothingatthemaw]

a lil something from a sunville wip of mine :]

This pulls a larger laugh from him. Johnny leans back and gasps for a breath before he’s settled into looking at her once more. “That’s what I like about you, Sun.” He places his arm around her shoulders, hugging her close into his side. “You don’t hesitate to put me back in my fuckin’ place.”

If only that were true. Sunny wants to tell him that, except she liked how his words made her feel too much to say anything else. The fact of the matter was that she didn’t do it for that reason on purpose. She didn’t mean to do something he found attractive, a something that made him feel enough to get her on him. Most times, it was for selfish reasons, it wasn’t for him, it was for her own comfort. Plus, it could be an accident, that was what happened most often. She wasn’t aware of what she did. Sunny liked him not far off of a fault. Johnny’s words knew how to keep her own curbed.

The beaming heat radiating off of his body is what keeps her from thinking on that much longer. Johnny running hot is something else she’s noticed about him. He’s hot and he’s got a thing for being close to her. Moth to flame. Or some other confusing analogy that Sunny half understands. The thing she thinks of to get his sweltering body off of her is to reach under his shirt and pinch his skin like she did at what seemed to be much earlier in the night. So, she does just that.

“Ow.” Johnny’s stomach instinctively moves back into itself from the pinch. His monotone doesn’t match what he said either. It’s more of a habit than having any real meaning behind it. It doesn’t have the effect she wanted. Her drunken mind didn’t think that one through. With his mouth hung open, he says, “If you keep doin’ that we’re gonna have issues, lady.”