#villain x minion

[alilbatflies]

Just Cake #3

by popular demand (2 people asked) (hello) (thank you for commenting! it means a lot even if I don't manage to answer perhaps)

Part 1, Part 2

... ... ...

“Look who we’ve caught,” an entirely too sweet voice said. “Well, aren’t you two adorable?”

The villain was growling now. A low, guttural sound which the henchman has only heard in life-threatening situations, usually forced out by the desperate struggle of survival. Now it was a promise of violence, get closer I dare you, a promise of slaughter and doom.

They tried to angle their head to glimpse whoever had the honour of experiencing such a threat.

The person shuffled to the side, no doubt measuring them in turn. They were all cloak and magic glowing through two bright orange eyes.

Supervillain.

They were so screwed. Utterly fucked.

The supervillain measured them both.

They seemed… wary. Ridiculous, given that the two potential threats were trapped in a power-suppressing net. Ridiculous, given that the supervillain was a supervillain for a reason—spectacular amount of magical skill and all.

Although the henchman could admit they wouldn’t want to be facing their villain’s growling and claws either. Even through a net. There were holes.

��You’re not superhero.”

The confusion triggered by such statement startled the villain out of their instinctual reaction. They stopped growling, although they were still baring their teeth.

“I was not expecting anyone else,” the supervillain said. “Perhaps that pesky hero who lurks around them sometimes, but not a fellow criminal.”

Fellow criminal, huh? The henchman assumed the supervillain was trying to convince them that they’re all on the same side. Perhaps the idea of a potential furious threat unsettled them, no matter the current cage around it.

Well, it wasn’t like they particularly wanted to stay in the bloody uncomfortable trap.

“In that case,” the henchman said, “I suppose you wouldn’t mind getting us out of the net?”

“Should I?”

…the henchman had assumed wrong.

While they probably were on a similar kind of boat regarding their criminal activities, the supervillain hadn’t had any proper motivation to let them go. They weren’t especially close or anything.

And yet, still standing there. Still watching the two criminals swinging in their net as if they somehow held the answers to the universe.

The supervillain had options.

First, they could let them out. The best outcome but severely unlikely.

Second, they could close a bargain of some kind. I’ll only let you out if… which was less favourable, but it would still mean getting out relatively quickly.

Third, they could leave them trapped.

It occurred to the henchman that while there was little chance of them making it out then, the supervillain couldn’t possibly know that. Their villain’s powers were speculated on so many levels it had led to more confusion than clarity in the industry. That could work out in their favour.

The henchman was no mind reader. They couldn’t possibly know how much of a threat did the supervillain consider them at the moment. Nevertheless, the supervillain was still standing there.

Nevertheless, the supervillain didn’t seem entirely convinced leaving them hanging was their best option.

They could work with that.

They decided to play their cards according to their instincts. The villain still hovered over them, a display of teeth and taunt like an arrow ready to take flight and slaughter. Their most wild card, a whisper of carnage. A terrifying ace.

The henchman loved them so.

“You had no quarrel with us before this… incident,” the henchman said. They focused on keeping their tone light, conversational. “Although, now that the situation has changed, perhaps you’re excited to find out how we settle the score, hm?”

Their look met the orange eyes. The supervillain probably found them crazy, threatening from within the containment. They felt insane. They felt the thrill run through them.

“Let us go, so the beast doesn’t have to claw its way out.”

On cue, the villain growled.

The supervillain hesitated.

It was a brief and finely concealed blip of emotion, barely slipping past the dangerous façade. Surely the villain couldn’t be so terrifying as to startle them. And yet.

The supervillain drew a smile, entirely too sharp in its flawless elegance. “Of course.” Then they proceeded to pull shears out of nowhere.

The henchman tried not to be impressed too bad. They hadn’t had much time to ponder about the practicality of the supervillain’s pockets relevant to such level of preparedness, since the net was cut down. There was little regard for the fact they would hit the ground.

The henchman couldn’t care less about the fall as their magic roared to life inside them. It pushed along their bones and crashed into their skin from within. It settled then, nesting in their body like a monster in its cave.

Belatedly, they realized the villain shielded the back of their neck and head from impact with their arm.

There was absolutely no dignified way to get out of the tangle of ropes.

Once the henchman managed, they realized the villain was standing over them protectively, placing themselves between them and the supervillain.

The villains stared each other down. It seemed a stalemate.

“I appreciate you understand plans fall through sometimes,” the supervillain said. “It was not my intention to harm you.”

“As displayed,” the henchman noted quietly.

The villain considered this. They nodded in acknowledgement.

The henchman itched to get out of another’s territory. They were sure the villain didn’t want to linger either.

“Could you give us directions from the forest?” they asked. “We would dislike to meddle with any of your other… endeavours.”

The supervillain tilted their head.

“What I mean is…” The henchman pulled the net up from beneath their feet, holding it out. “We wouldn’t want to mess with your handiwork.”

The supervillain grinned as they took the cluster of ropes, a little feral, a little genuine. They did point the two in a certain direction. They tipped their head at the villain before seemingly dissolving back into the forest and vanishing.

“Bloody hell.”

The villain inclined their head. Then they turned and started away. “Luckily not.”

“Luckily not,” the henchman huffed in echo, following short behind. “Extremely insightful as always, boss.”

“Hm.”

They luckily didn’t stumble into any more traps on their way back.

The henchman was so not sleeping that night.

...

Part 4

[deadsetobsessions]

Danny’s Wayne adoption bait. The guy that owns the bodega knows it. Everyone and their mothers knows it. Danny, on the other hand, had no clue. To be fair, he had just crash landed in this dimension a week ago and his back was still sore from the weird design the car had.

(It’s only three weeks of homelessness later does Danny realize that he crash landed on the Batmobile. Whoops. Oh well. He’ll blame it on Clockwork if the vigilante asks after repair costs.)

(Bruce, on the other hand, is scouring the streets for this kid the car cams caught- oddly static filled footage- because his mind jumped to the worst case scenarios: a suicidal meta or a meta being threatened or a meta in a trafficking scheme or even worse all three at once and Bruce just can’t because there is a child in danger, he doesn’t have time to sleep.)

Danny rubbed at his back, eyes going watery at the memory. Sure, his wounds have healed over by now but the- heh- phantom pain is no joke. He shuddered, huddling closer to his threadbare hoodie. His only saving grace from getting jumped while walking the streets of Gotham at night is his invisibility and intangibility. Also, he’s floating, so “walking” doesn’t apply to him.

He’s gotta check on the kid he saved yesterday from a mugging, so Danny hurried along to the depilated apartment complex the kid was squatting in. Turning visible and tangible as he turns the corner, Danny glanced around for Amy.

“Danny!”

“Hey, kiddo. Doing alright?”

“Yeah! Come meet my gang!”

Danny felt his eyebrows rise to form Jazz’s exasperated look. Ouch. Waving the pain of losing Jazz away, Danny smiled at the excited girl.

“A gang? I wasn’t aware I was being brought to your almighty group.”

“Yeah! Uh, you actually helped a bunch of us so…”

Danny thought back to all those times he punted crooks away from robbing kids and shrugged. Yeah, what Amy said was likely.

“Kay, kiddo.”

She scowled, and Danny didn’t have the heart to tell her it looked more like a pout.

“You’re just a teenager.”

“Well, you’re a just a kid.”

Danny cackled as she chased him down the street, trying to kick his shins.

Life is good, even if he’s homeless and hungry.

——

“Jason.”

“Old man.” Jason mocks back, pausing his tasks. He waits as Bruce struggles to put his thoughts and feelings into words.

“There’s… a meta.”

“In Gotham?” Jason tilts back, hands halfway to his guns as a silent offer. Bruce shakes his head.

“A child. In Crime Alley.”

“In my turf?” Jason’s disquieting demeanor quickly swapped to a protective one.

“Trafficking, I think. Male, black hair…”

“Shit. Get Dickwing back here, he’s good with traumatized kids. I’ll go look for him.” Jason’s already moving, mind filtering through the kids he knows might have information to offer.

Bruce nods, shoulders relaxing. Jason smacks down the lump in his throat at the subtle sing of trust. “I’ll get Oracle and Red Robin on it.”

Jason morphs from Jay to Red Hood in one smooth step, helmet firmly placed on his head. He grunts in agreement, slinging his legs over his motorcycle. He roars off, mind half filled with tearing apart whatever traffickers dared to shit near his territory and the other half filled with worry for this possible kid.

——

Danny, as the Bats become aware of his existence, hands Amy and her kiddie gang a bag of fancy beef jerky.

“Try these with peanut butter, it’s kind of good.”

Amy stares at him, the judgement of an eight year old more piercing than anything he’s ever experienced.

“You’re fucking weird-”

“Language!” He squawks.

“-but sure, whatever you say, boss.”

“Boss?!”

The kids ignores his alarmed face.

[anime-villian-irl]

"id let the world burn for you"

"I'd kill for you"

"id die for you"

"I'd sacrifice the world for you"

BORING!

Yawn snore snore. Honk shoo honk shoo.

I got twelve other guys ready to that for me. You already do that. You already destroy the world I would just happen to be there while you did.

The real question is.

Would you save the world for me?

Would you put aside your hatred for humanity and put my love for it Infront? Would you save the world because I love the world? Would you stop killing because I hate killing? Would you find a way to live because I want you alive?

Death and destruction are easy as hell. Do you know how fucking easy it is to kill someone? To blow up a building? Shure security is in the way but if it wasn't there it would be easy as hell.

You'd do the basics Shure. But would you do the hard thing and save the world because I asked you to?

Would you push aside your hatred of everyone but me because I asked you to nicely?

Would you?

[anetherealpoetess]

i love shipping. it reminds me that childhood wonder can still be found in the most insane of places (my mind).

[mossycakes]

i say this as literally armands number 1 fan. i am so so excited to see weirdo fucked up gremlin armand in s3, but i really hope once he gets it all out of his system he can be happy and sweet and romantic again. i want more of armand taking a lover (daniel) to art galleries and libraries and bring them (him) flowers and telepathicaly recite shakespeare and say shit like "i want you more than anything in fhe world" and have philosophical conversations in parisian cafes about whatever the fuck. i really want him to be happy and loved and i want him to love wahhhh :(

[leviiackrman]

SIMS 4 OC LOOKBOOK: Kyutoku - Rin & Dabi (Toya Todoroki)

Of all the ocs I’ve made so far, here is the final couple! I’m so glad I found the dabi scars cc cus he looks so. good. !! Anyways up, let me know what you think and which is your favourite!! P.S: everyone keeps hanging out at their villain base and I can’t stop laughing, they both hate it lmao

Ackermans || Rikihisas || Enatsu

Tag list (ask to be added or removed): @carrionsflower @statichvm @risingsh0t @simonxriley @tommyarashikage @kanos @bbrocklesnar @confidentandgood @unholymilf @florbelles @thedeadthree @shellibisshe @roofgeese @aezyrraeshh @faerune @tekehu @jackiesarch @minaharkers @sergeiravenov @carlosoliveiraa @rosenfey @nokstella @queennymeria @heroofpenamstan @alexxmason @tethrras @jamessunderlandgf @a-treides @solasan @bigbywlf @delzinrowe

[ophanim-vesper]

Sonic OCs rhghrhghgbhrghhbfhb

(these first drafts above were pretty much traced from the official Sonic Adventure art by Yuji Uekawa. This was to practice the Sonic artstyle) Holly (red deer character) and Majesty (purple dragon) are an odd couple, consisting of a jovial shapeshifter and a greedy dragon who breathes noxious gas. The two combine their skills to raid villages and towns, adding to Majesty's ever-growing pile of gold. When Majesty hears of the elusive 'Chaos Emeralds', the wealth-hungry dragon stops at nothing to add the precious jewels to his dragon hoard. [More information about each character under the cut]:

Holly is an unknown creature often resembling a deer, but can shapeshift into any species she likes. She can even mimic their abilities, but only physical traits; she cannot copy others' supernatural abilities. (i.e. she can copy Sonic's quills as a defense mechanism, but cannot mimic his speed). She was outcasted numerous times in the past, as she tried to mimic other species in order to fit in. They all disowned her after discovering her true nature as a shapeshifter. When she met Majesty, the only person who did not outright reject her, she immediately became attached. Now she works as his loyal minion, but really, she's the one who does all the hard work.

Majesty is a dragon, a rare species able to breathe toxic gas. One whiff could prove lethal, while his venomous saliva is potent enough to burn through metal. Abandoned as a hatchling, Majesty made his name as a ferocious dragon not to be messed with. He terrorizes any village he finds, raiding their wealth and food to take back to his cave, accumulating his 'dragon hoard'. His goal is to prove himself as the most powerful being on Mobius. When he learns of precious jewels able to grant one infinite power, why, what kind of dragon would he be if he didn't pilfer them for himself?

[lady-of-the-spirit]

I'd trade a million human!Star concepts for villain couple Amaya and Magnifico btw

[holylulusworld]

Hello, sweet Lulu!

I’ve been thinking of Goddess and Captain lately- I just love the humor but also the sweetness in their story!

Do you have any thoughts on how Captain would react if one of the first times he was nice to Goddess it momentarily glitched her brain and she ended up getting injured in a battle? Would he save her? Would he nurse her back to health himself? Would he feel absolutely awful and shower her in affection? 🥺

Hi lovely. Thank you so much for loving these two idiots in love...

A/N: I imagine this is (pre-) Worst minions ever.

It's another ordinary day for our favorite villain.

Damn, you feel good. And the new costume you got with the help of Carl, your most trusted minion, feels like a second skin.

You are ready to bring Captain America down today.

Enough of playing around with your nemesis. His good looks and smile won't save him today.

"Goddess," Steve dodges another attack. You just threw a car at him just for fun (and to help him stay in shape. Because you love America's ass.) "You look beautiful today, doll. Is that a new costume?"

"What?" You stop in your tracks. Did Captain America just compliment you? Wait...no. He wouldn't compliment you. Right?

"Watch out!" Steve screams your name. He threw his shield at you, believing you'd simply send it back or catch it like you did a hundred times before.

Not this time. This time the shield hit you in the chest. You end up on the ground, wincing in pain. "No...Doll!"

Steve is by your side in the blink of an eye. He looks you all over, praying he didn't hurt you too much.

"Whoa...you have a hallow, Captain Sassypants." You grin up at him. "But...why are there two of you? I can only handle one sassy Captain."

"Doll, can you hear me? Where does it hurt?"

Your head lolls back, and Steve fears the worst. "No. I didn't want to hurt you. Come on, Goddess." He carefully picks you up, running toward the tower to get help.

"HELP! I need medical help!"

"Capsicle, calm down," Tony grunts. "You know the meaning of the word enemy. Right? Why do you care so much about someone who regularly tries to kill you?"

Steve sighs deeply. "She's not a villain. If she wanted to kill me, I'd be dead for years. Goddess loves to fight against me, but she never tried to hurt me for real."

"This is sickeningly sweet."

"How is she? Can I visit her?" Steve walks past Tony to enter the hospital room at the medical bay to annoy the doctor checking on your condition. "Doctor?"

"She's got a concussion and two broken ribs. I'm a little worried about her mental state. She's talking about someone called Captain Sassypants all the time."

Steve grins. "Uh-I've got this. I'll take care of her..."

That's how you became his prisoner in his home. Even though he calls you a guest and pretends to nurse you back to health, you know Captain Sassypants tries to settle the score...

Not that you do not enjoy his attention, and the fact that he lets you sleep in his bed...

[dominque-writes]

hi! idk if u take requests or not, but i love ur writing and was wondering if you'd do a set of prompts for a superhero duo? like begrudging partners

thank youuu 💖

1) Hero / Anti-Hero - Meeting Times

"You're late."

"Nuh-uh. I'm not late, you're early."

The Hero grits their teeth. "We said 9PM."

"You said 9PM. I actually have a life, so you're lucky I showed at all." Mask peeled up to their nose, lower half of their face exposed, the Anti-Hero had a colourful bendy straw dangling from their lips as they slurp up the contents of a milkshake.

"This," bites out the Hero, "was your idea."

The Anti-Hero gives a particularly obnoxious yawn, paired with a matching wide-armed stretch. "So? I don't recall appointing you as my mother. Hop off my dick."

Biting their tongue, the Hero has to fight to keep themself from dignifying the Anti-Hero with a response.

"I'm gonna take your silence as a hearty sign that we agree. I'm right on time." The Anti-Hero holds out their milkshake. "Want a sip?"

If looks could kill, the Hero would've broken their moral code five times over by now.

2) Hero / Anti-Hero - Kill Rule

Shit hit the fan the exact second the Anti-Hero showed up. The Hero had things under control, to whatever extent they could with their no-kill rule, but the Anti-Hero had no such dilemma.

Goon bodies dropped, both dead and for cover, as the Anti-Hero sprayed the contents of two handguns across the room. Blood, chaos, and screaming clouds the space, painting death every where the Hero looks.

"No killing!"

"No what?!" the Anti-Hero shouted over their shoulder. "I can't hear you over all this killing!"

Familiar frustration rose in the Hero's chest as the Hero yelled back over the gunfire. "I said, no killing!"

"What?! Oh!" The gunfire on the Anti-Hero's end peters to a stop. Just the metallic ricochet of bullet shells rolling on cold concrete floors. Unfortunately, one bloodied, beaten goon made the mistake of trying to push to his feet.

The Anti-Hero pops a bullet in his skull without so much as a glance over their shoulder.

"What the hell was that?!" Hero snaps, feeling damn close to stamping their foot like a child out of pure frustration. This alliance was already controversy, considering their oppositional stances on the value of human life, and now it was killing people.

"Chill out, dude, I thought you said no quilting."

Quiltingareyoufuckingserious- "That is nothing like what I just said!"

"Obviously I couldn't hear you, man, don't bite my head off."

"Just- just-" The Hero splutters, overwhelmed with the life already lost, cleaning up this particular portion of the criminal underbelly, and - apparently - babysitting the Anti=Hero on top of it all. "No more killing, alright?!"

Despite this, the Anti-Hero does empty a new handgun magazine into one last goon's head before this night's collaboration ended.

3) Hero / Anti-Heroine - Jewel Heist

"Oh, I'm so taking this."

The Hero whips around, sensing in his gut that his on-off crime-fighting partner was about to swap sides, just in time to see the Anti-Heroine dip her hand into the shattered glass case of the jewel display.

He's at her side in a split-second, catching her wrist before she can get ahold of the precious jewels they'd just prevented from getting stolen. "Cut it out, would you?"

"What? I did, like, really well today. Saved lives and whatnot, all entirely without benefit to myself. It's my reward."

"No."

"But it's so tiny, they won't even notice it's gone." Again, she reaches for a sapphire jewel that the Hero would never, ever refer to as tiny.

"It is its own exhibit, Anti-Heroine," hisses the Hero, "so I think they will know somebody took it."

"They wouldn't know it was me. Bet they'd write it off as collateral damage."

"I promise they would know it was you. Okay, just- Look, the work itself is the reward."

The Anti-Heroine tilts her head, questioning.

"Uh, you know. Gratitude of the people? Knowing you did the right thing? Pretty... rewarding, emotionally."

"Right..." The Anti-Heroines rolls her eyes, shaking her head as if the Hero was the one not understanding here. "Well, I can't buy new shoes with gratitude and high fives. C'mon, what about just the red one?"

"I said no."

"Fine, I'll settle with the incy-wincy emerald. Matches my eyes, don't you think?"

"Anti-Heroine, I swear to all that's holy-"

She scoffs, but withdraws her hand in favour of crossing her arms over her chest. "You're no fun."

4) Hero Sidekick / Villain Minion- Rescuing Mentors

"-Or, hear me out, we do my plan and it might actually be good."

"My plan is good," the Sidekick bites out. "It minimises civilian casualties and property damage, whilst ensuring we can get to our mentors in the shortest preferable time."

"Your plan is lame. Nothing even blows up. What I am supposed to do with all these bombs I brought?"

The Sidekick eyes the dufflebag trapped snugly under the Minion's foot. "You didn't, right?"

"Like I'd tell you, nerd," says the Minion snarkily. "Your goody-two-shoes ass would confiscate my shit so fast."

"God, you're immature."

"Immature?" The Minion gives a ridiculing laugh, clearly enjoying the act of winding the Sidekick up. "I'm immature? Didn't you literally just graduate from high school?"

The Sidekick splutters, taken aback. "I've been in college for like, two years!"

"Huh. My bad, I didn't know you were just short. Maybe stick to the high school thing. Or invest in heels." Kicking back in their chair, the Minion kicks their feet up, boots now irritatingly close to the Sidekick's face. "Anywho, your plan is all well and good if we have to be totally boring. But how, oh smartypants supreme, do you suggest we get past their primary and secondary reinforced drop-doors without brute force?"

"... I hadn't thought about that."

"So you were wrong." They give a theatric yawn before nocking a forefinger back at their now blank expression. "This is me shocked, stunned, and flabbergasted."

"I'll kill you."

"Ooh, Moral-lad McBuzzkill wants to murder me, I'm sooo threatened." The Minion presses their hands to their face, a picture of mock, exaggerated fear pulling onto their facial expression. "I'm just quivering in my floral Chanel combat boots."

The Sidekick's hands ball into fist, holding their rising anger and frustration back by a weakening threat. Maybe they can list supernatural patience to their resume as a new superpower.

5) Hero / Antihero - Stakeout

"Can you get off the phone?"

The Hero glowers, pulls their phone from their ear and ghosts their hand over the mouthpiece, and hisses, "I'm on the phone."

"Yes, I have eyes."

"So. Shut up."

The Anti-Hero forces out a heavy, exaggerated sigh. They lean back against the parapet wall of the rooftop the pair were stationed on, chin balanced on the palm of their hand as they stare intently at the Hero. Fully intending to disrupt them without saying a word, throw them off their precious conversation.

It takes less than a minute for the Hero glare and stop talking to hold the phone away again. "Do you need something?"

"Oh, only if you can slot it into your super busy schedule, Mister Important," says the Anti-Hero, tone slick with mock sincerity.

"What is it."

"Okay, so do you remember that high security vault we were supposed to be watching?" The Anti-Hero says, taking their sweet time to get to the point out of petty vengeance. "Y'know, the one containing that death weapon some major-league baddies wanna steal?"

The Hero rolls their eyes. "Ugh, yes?"

"It's totally getting robbed right now."

"Oh, shit."

[alilbatflies]

Just Cake #4

To the people who commented: hello! And thank you, since this wouldn't have happened otherwise.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

...

The walk back was alright, considering. There were no more traps shutting around them, neither guards leaping from the shadows of trees. The supervillain could have something like that. The henchman wouldn’t be surprised.

The thing was, once the henchman’s mind had calmed down somewhat and processed the adrenaline from the dangerous situation, the conversation prior to supervillain’s arrival crashed into them like a train gone off the rails. Their thoughts kept leaping back and back to the net conversation, pondering.

They wanted to ask. They didn’t want to push.

And of course, the conversation would surface again, as if asking your boss “what’s your regret in life” before a suspected death ever did anything good. They were in the industry for a long time, for fuck’s sake. They should have known better.

They had already been so close to their villain just hanging in the net and it was so inappropriate and entirely unprofessional. They wanted to ask, but boundaries were pushed quite enough that day, far beyond their liking.

At least they were finally back on their own turf. The chances of being attacked by someone unfamiliar or snatched up by a net hidden in leaves and shadows of the forest were minimal. Their home base was peaceful.

Back in their office, the villain took off the work jacket. They exhaled and moved to the wall map. The henchman let their coat hang on the rack by the door as they joined to input what little they managed to find before they were unceremoniously interrupted by a bundle of expertly placed ropes. The only reason the henchman wasn’t dying of embarrassment at that was that it was supervillain’s net, and that meant they had little chances of missing it or escaping otherwise.

They wrapped up quickly for lack of substantial information. And the general exhaustion.

The henchman just wanted to go home. Eat something. Take a long shower. Pass out on the bed and hibernate for the next three years maybe. The villain was competent enough for world dominance on their own, if they so desired. The henchman did not think world dominance would be something the villain ever desired, as it came with a lot of talking to people they didn’t know. But they had the skill.

Were they too young for retirement?

It wasn’t like the villain couldn’t just pick any of the many other henchmen that crawled around whenever there was a plan being executed. So many skilled people. Surely one retiring minion wouldn’t be a problem.

It was all just thoughts produced by an exhausted mind; the henchman knew. Thoughts they entertained far too eagerly. There was something about it.

Nevertheless, their work was done at the moment, so they were going home. Finally. It would make more sense in the morning.

“Before you go,” the villain said as the henchman moved to take their coat and leave. “The thing I was about to say before we got interrupted.”

“Huh?”

“You’re getting promoted.”

“Huh?”

The henchman’s mind was stuck. The loading circle wasn’t even spinning.

Promoted.

Promoted?

First, that was the villain's regret?! Not promoting them surely wasn’t such a huge deal. Second, what were they even getting promoted to? There was nowhere to be promoted to! Everyone worked under the villain. The only step above would be the villain’s level. And becoming the villain’s equal was… no. Absolutely not.

Before they could shake their head and no doubt make a fool of themselves somehow, the villain tilted their head.

“Become my right hand?”

The henchman’s mind slowed down a bit. Not quite equal. Just… closer to equal than before.

“Right hand,” the henchman echoed. They supposed that was technically a position between the boss and the minions. The villain did employ quite a lot of people, lately. “Is that a real title, even?”

The villain shrugged. “Blizzard mentioned it. She said, it’s like the head butler of henchmen.”

“Right,” the henchman said. Blizzard was one of the villains they were often cooperating with, and their villain took her advice seriously. (Regardless of whether they followed through with it.) “Right.”

They could work with that. The henchman smiled. They could work with that.

The villain considered them.

“I understand it’s a lot of responsibility,” they said. “If you’d rather not to, I’ll understand. But there’s nobody I trust quite as much as you. You have this way with words, too… I can’t speak as well in stressful situations.”

The henchman had all of half a second to ponder if the villain actually found situations stressful before the villain carried on.

“If today’s incident proved anything it’s that I can’t actually work without you.”

That was delightful, the henchman supposed. “Words alone wouldn’t get me anywhere.”

“No.” the villain grinned, a crooked wild thing of a smile. “Your bluffs are always based on my strength, perhaps. But still perfect bluffs.”

The henchman filtered away the way the villain pronounced perfect for later sorting. Presumably for the evening when they stared into the ceiling before sleep again.

“It’s just a title.” It sounded dismissive the moment it came out of their mouth. The villain didn’t seem to take it personally.

“Enjoy it, then.”

The villain seemed to have thought about it a lot. They wouldn’t have offered otherwise.

Right hand, huh? It sounded alright. They still weren’t that sure that it was a working position. Sure, they knew Blizzard had one, and that the other people worked under them both… Okay, maybe it was a working position. It still felt kind of weird.

Did that mean they would be redirecting things from the villain to others? That was nothing new. Except now, they supposed, they were kind of responsible for the execution. Kind of a lot. The realization slowly sunk in. There has always been a level of personal responsibility, but now it felt magnified.

If they were to officially be responsible for other henchmen’s wins and fuck ups as well, that would bring a whole new level of stress to their life.

“Do I get a raise?”

The villain stared.

The henchman prayed they did not cross any lines again, as so often, but it was too late to take back anything. They were perfectly sure the villain had heard them now, besides.

“Hm.”

“I was mostly joking, boss,” the henchman blurted. “I didn’t–” they caught themselves. If the villain was willing to pay them more, then that shouldn’t be a problem, yeah?

“We’ll see.”

And that was that.

The henchman took the coat of the rack, said goodbye and decidedly did not stumble on their way out. That much for the retirement.

The henchman supposed it went pretty well, overall.

[crossovershipsandedits]

Characters: Ainz Ooal Gown x Rita Repulsa

Fandoms: Overlord | Mighty Morphin Power Rangers

Relationship: Professional/Underling/Romantic

It's 3am and I'm going to sleep after this but I HAVE to post it IMMEDIATELY!!!!

Ok so, I have no idea who Ainz is (my friend told me what he was from), but I saw him in an ad for the Seven Deadly Sins mobile game (they're having a crossover I think) and my FIRST FREAKING THOUGHT was "Oh my God it's a Power Rangers villain" XDD

I tell said friend and he hasn't seen Power Rangers (a fucking crime) and I look up Rita to show him what I mean..

And Lord, let me tell you, my brain clicked

Rita would 2000% bow to this man in more ways than one, and she's absolutely persistent enough to get him to concede romantically eventually LMAO

[esmiblood90irisglimmer]

When A Hero Cheats On Their Villian

Villain: *slam the door holding a newspapers* Okay! All right! How were they?

((Sidekick and Minion in the same room but are completely ingored))

Sidekick: Uh Oh

Hero: *shock* What?

Villain: Were they good?

Minion: Don't answer that

Villain: Come on Hero! You said you wanted to talk about it, let’s talk about it!! How were they?

Hero: Well...they....um

Minion: Awful! Horrible!

Sidekick: They were not good. Not good.

Minion: They're nothing compared to you.

Hero: They, they fight different

Minion: *cringe* Ooooh!!!

Sidekicks: *facepalm* Uh-oh.

Villain: *getting more annoyed* Good different?

Hero: Nobody likes change.

((Villain began throwing random objects at the Hero before beating them with an umbrella))

Minions: Should we do something?

Sidekick: Yeah, never cheat on your Villain

[chiefguideandcentre]

Now I normally try to finish books (kindle) even if they aren’t the best bc who knows maybe the story will pick up later or whatever, but when the god damn main woman character (in this fantasy book) refuses to eliminate a threat (the villain that terrorized her her whole life, caused all kinds of death, destruction, terror, chaos, he’s completely evil and unhinged) even though she is in a position of power to do so and just puts him in jail instead bc “it’s not in my nature, I can’t 😢” even though literally everyone (that knows 10x better than she ever will) tells her that this guy needs to be killed bc otherwise the whole town and surrounding towns will never be safe again. But noooo for some reason she would rather let this a-hole live and allows his minions to continue walking free amongst the ppl with no consequences whatsoever but, fine, fine I will keep reading, surely she will change her mind soon. Que evil villain escaping (something everybody saw coming a mile away) and in his escape with the help of his minions (they were plotting???? What a surprise!!! 😒) he causes even more death, destruction, chaos, terror, at least 45 ppl die during his big escape and so the ppl come to her again and are like “well damn, that was a shit show, now he’s on the loose and needs to be stopped immediately. It’s obvious no one is safe, this guy is a rabid dog that needs to be put down. Girl holding the highest position of power now, surely you see that this can’t go on and as soon as he’s found he needs to be killed! Right?” And her god damn response after everything is basically “but but but… I don’t wanna 🥺” then no I’ve gotta quit the story I mean for fucks sake! How stupid can you be “well I don’t want my time as ruler to go down in history as violent 🥺 there must be another way, I want my ppl safe” like girl none is safe with you as ruler you absolute numbskull! “But but but my morals 🥺” fuck you and your stupid “morals”. Grow up! you don’t care about anyone but yourself. If you actually cared about your ppl you would eliminate the villain that has been terrorizing them for years. How about you give these poor people a little peace of mind instead of whining about your morals. You are more of a threat to them at this point with your inaction. You only care about your feelings and your comfort regarding certain subjects, and yet everybody around is like practically forced to coddle her and be all oh it’s not your fault it’s ok, like no it’s not ok, you are a moron and are not fit to rule! ridiculous, why am I so enraged over some shitty book on kindle? I mean this is a 3 book series, I’m abandoning it about a handful of pages into the second book, I just can’t!

[clamsjams]

JOEY

JOEY NO

JOEY ARE YOU KIDDING ME NOT AGAIN

DO NOT GET CORRUPTED AGAIN JOEY

[legitimatesatanspawn]

It's always "age gap" this and "romance plot" that but the real problem is that the Chosen Hero completely ignores how the Immortal Beast of the Apocalypse acts for no explicit reason. The Beast is given a free pass by fans AND author for being hot.

"He literally just murdered a thousand innocent villagers who had nothing to do with the war, even tangentially."

"Oh but he's never killed anyone important so its okay! Besides, the ultimate villain infected him with the Murder Curse. Everything he ever did wrong can be traced back to the Father of Helldemons."

"The curse only lasts for a year. Even if you take it as 'awake time', then it's been worn off for about 3/4ths of that time. Plus the Hero thinks that the Beast did it all willingly from the start and he STILL wants to be with him."

Discourse about whether shipping the Chosen Hero with the immortal Beast of the Apocalypse represents a problematic age gap, and if so, in which direction (i.e., the Hero, on account of the fact that the Beast is ten thousand years old and the Hero is like thirty, or the Beast, on account of the fact that the Beast is only awake for like two weeks once every century and thus has less lived experience).