#via: incorrectquotesideas

[godsofhumanity]

Hades, very drunk: *points to Persephone* That's my girlfriend, suckers!

Thanatos, quietly: Your wife, sir.

Hades: my wiFE! EVEN BETTER!

[incorrect-yagakimi-quotes]

Touko: Let me guess your hometown, I bet it starts with…. S.

Yuu: Maybe.

Touko: Sexytown?

Yuu: No, it’s the opposite of that.

Touko: SAITAMA?

[valtoswife]

Sally to Makusa: Please let me go. I’m just a sweet little girl who got caught up with the wrong crowd.

Marx arriving out of breath: How did you get out of the handcuffs?

Sally: Ah, just a trick I learned in juvie.

[mollyencrypted]

Dan: You murdered three people!

West: It all just sort of snowballed.

[zukosturtleducks]

Aang: I think Zuko is in trouble!

Katara, pre-field trip: Struggling to give a fuck, to be honest.

[courtesan-of-garage]

MC: Did you lose your job because of me?

Ethan Ramsey: Nah. Dr. Emery is a vampire. And she wanted me to join her legion of the undead.

MC: [quietly] I knew it!

[godsofhumanity]

Persephone: Hades and I don't have pet names for each other.

Hecate: Uh huh. Seph, what do bees make?

Persephone: Honey?

Hades, from down the hall: Yeah, babe?

Hecate:

Persephone: Uhh...

Hecate: Don't you ever lie to my face again.

[godsofhumanity]

Anubis: Set is okay.

Horus: He's okay?! He said he was going to break my legs. And don’t tell me Set didn’t mean it, okay? ‘Cause he gave me the dead mackerel eyes. He meant it!

Anubis: Horus, Set threatened me. He threatened Osiris. He probably threatened someone before breakfast this morning. It’s what he does. Come on. Grow a pair!

[godsofhumanity]

Anput: Your daughter said a swear word in class today.

Anubis: I’ll talk to her about it.

Anubis, to Kebechet: What the f*ck, dude.

[godsofhumanity]

Hades, after telling off one of the dead for trying to escape: I scared them, didn't I?

Persephone: They're terrified of you.

Hades, proud of himself: :)

[godsofhumanity]

*before that whole kidnapping affair*

Demeter, to Hades: Would you like to stay for dinner?

Persephone, from the kitchen: Would you like to stay FOREVER?

[godsofhumanity]

Loki: Nice heart-shaped sunglasses.

Apollo: It's because I'm in love.

Loki: With who?

Apollo: Myself.

[godsofhumanity]

*March 31*

Thanatos: So you know how you've been really happy that you haven't had to have any meetings with anyone?

Hades: ... yeah?

Thanatos: That's because every time someone requests a meeting with you, I schedule it for March 31.

Hades: Why

Thanatos: Because I didn't think March 31 existed.

Hades: So how many do I have today?

Thanatos: ... 93

[godsofhumanity]

Set: And you think killing people will make them like you, but it doesn’t. It just makes them dead.

[godsofhumanity]

Loki: Why do I have to be the bad guy?

Apollo: I don't know. Why am I the pretty one? We all have our thing.

[godsofhumanity]

Sigyn: A friend came looking for you.

Loki: A "friend"?

Sigyn: ... an enemy.

Loki: Oh! Which one?